#just....please god not again
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i am so glad this week is finally (almost) over
i had an appointment with my pcp on monday to see about this possible kidney stone situation
they did a urinalysis on me and sure enough i do have some blood in my urine so that plus the pain means it's likely there's a stone, but i'm in a situation again where i haven't had any pain for days so it's like...that's not good !! (especially since this has been going on for a few months at this point !)
they ordered me a ct scan which i had today so i'm hoping maybe sometime tomorrow i'll get the results of that and we can maybe figure out what's going on
i also had a dentist appointment on wednesday but it was just a cleaning and my dentist said everything looks good. it is kinda funny because i was actually supposed to have this appointment months ago but decided to reschedule because i had too much going on that week and so it got pushed out until now and then i end up having even more shit to do this week than i did back then so...oh well !! it's finally done
and tomorrow i've gotta do some of my usual errands (mostly taking the garbage off and getting a few things from the grocery store) and then i think i'll finally be done !! hopefully !!
hope you have a good, restful weekend coming up if you're reading this !! <3
#i'm just hoping and praying at this point that i've passed the stone if that is what it is#and that i don't get a call about this ct and it's like#uh hey you're gonna need a procedure to get this thing out before you start to go septic again#just....please god not again#but i guess if that is the situation then we'll just deal with it#anyway#in any case i at least got all my work done for the week so that's something#i've had to work later to make up for all the time i've been out at these appointments but i did it !!#and now hopefully this weekend i can just......rest#please god#i do have a lot of stuff i need to look over for school because i have a meeting with my student advisor next week#and although i appreciate him sending me all this information it's.....a lot#and i'm kind of starting to panic now like 'uh-oh!! uh-oh what have i gotten myself into ?!'#but i'm gonna just...power through it and keep going#because i really want this now and it's probably gonna add a bunch of stress to my life#when i already don't really have a lot of room for that but#i think in the end it'll be worth it#so that's what we're holding out for#and in the mean time if my body could just.....not have any more health problems#that would be fucking amazing thank you#anyhow#i didn't get a lot of sleep last night so i'm gonna go to bed now#it's just gonna be me here this weekend because mom's off with her boyfriend#which is fine i like having the place to myself#but i also have to take care of our dog by myself and he's way more attached to her than me#so he tends to be super anxious when she's not here#and so we're gonna do our best with that as well#but part of that also means i gotta get up ass early to let him out to go potty#so i'm gonna go get a few hours in before it's time for that#and then once i run my errands tomorrow i can maybe hopefully finally unwind a little
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more people gotta try this shit where bill has not improved and will not change but he's just chilling so its fine probably. its great
#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gf nevermind all that#is this really for that? no but if its post canon bill on earth then it may as well be. makes it nice and easy to find later too#reread tbob because we just got our own (nicely water damaged) copy and i was like. i dont draw him cute enough#i will continue trying to do better#anyways stanley you are a butch woman. stanley transition now you dont even have to do anything youre already perfect#its just about the intent#every time i drew him for the last one all i could think was oohhhhhh my god you are a dyke. to me. please#in other news are there any burned out pushing-30s out there who havent drawn in years? i gotta say. i really gotta say.#get mentally ill about something its great. preferably alongside a few other people that you can use to create a perpetual cycle of insanit#gets you drawing again in no time and it feels great
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still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)
anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#calling dibs on skeleton kisses as the name of my band#man scully is just a delightful little weirdo and i'm enjoying him immensely#(i'm going with scully until we get something official just because it makes me think of x-files)#(スカリー is also how the agent's name is transliterated and i don't know if it was intentional but i love it as a bonus reference)#(i want to believe™)#gosh though#'no one at school likes me because i won't shut up about halloween and jack skellington' i'm feeling VERY attacked right now twst#look scully your people are out there#just get on the forums and -- oh wait you're probably from like the 1800s or something#(my theory is that he's from the past and there's just some Book Magic going on to bring us together)#(LOOK they made a point of saying that the book fair has been held annually for a super long time)#a hot topic goth born before hot topic was invented...so sad 😔#i dunno i could be wrong but that feels like a good working theory for now#if it wasn't for mal sensing twsty ~magic~ on him i would think he's like. a christmas elf who's going to kidnap jack in a reverse-nmbc#(not ruling that out though because it would be amazing)#god all the sprites in this event look AMAZING. loving the desaturated colors and the extra drawn-on lines 😍#i'm genuinely kinda sad that we aren't gonna get to see every character like this#who knows...maybe halloweentown will be imperiled again next year...#come back and destroy my keys again please#(that said i'm doing weirdly well so far?)#(i promised i'd save for sebek and just do cursory pulls to get the SRs and not hope for the SSRs)#(...but then leona jumpscared me four coffins in anyway. halloween magic is REAL)
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Something I think about a lot is how Rick Riordan very rarely uses "girlfriend/boyfriend" to refer to Percy and Annabeth within their perspectives. They're so intertwined, even Annabeth says in hoh that the word boyfriend isn't strong enough, because Percy was a part of her. They are a singular soul, too wrapped around each others' fates that regular labels are far too weak for them. But, Rick Riordan uses "boyfriend" a lot in Nico and Wills perspectives, not because they love each other less than percabeth, but to show how much the word means to them. Nico uses it any chance he gets- "his boyfriend," "he actually had a boyfriend," because Nico has never been able to say that before. Their struggle with their queer identities mixed with Nico's catholic guilt and chronic everyone-hates-me disease makes the fact that he has someone to call his actual boyfriend so much more important to his character development.
#yeah ik I'm solangelo posting again listen tsats is fucking me up ok#please god don't take this as me saying will is only important when he's in love w nico he's his own character#and I just read a bit from hoh#rick riordan#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#nico di angelo#will solace#solangelo#pjo hoo toa#riordanverse#tsats#the sun and the star#house of hades#chaotic's posts
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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The Allegiance of the Ascended Vampire and the New God of Magic
#bloodweave#baldur's gate 3#bg3#gale x astarion#astarion x gale#gale dekarios#astarion ancunin#yes this is about astarion helping gale defeat mystra and take her place with the crown in exchange for gale helping him with the ritual#the ‘they can make each other worse’ part of their relationship turned to the max#I enjoy them being reluctantly soft for each other more but from time to time I just think about how powerful they could get together#toxic evil boyfriends. take love and twist it up until it’s unrecognisable#I like to think that astarion approached gale with that offer after realising no one else in camp is gonna help him#and that he can use gales own hunger for power which backfired when astarion actually became emotionally invested in gale#and after gale kept his word despite everyone’s concerns astarion changed his plan from not fullfilling his end of the bargain to actually#helping gale kill mystra (mostly so that gale could belong to him and him alone. and letting him take the place as a god bc having a god#at you beck and call is definitely appealing. especially one as eager to please as gale)#anyway what I want to say with this is please please please let me kill mystra i don’t even care if the weave gets destroyed again
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🤍🤍🤍🤍
#mammon obey me#obey me#obey me shall we date#obm#obey me mammon#mammon#obey me fanart#obm mammon#I really like how this one turned out but my god#if you all knew how bad it was making this#I spent weeks on the first version just to restart from the sketch and finish it in like 5 days#ohhhh but for my baby angel it was worth it#…..however please mammon don’t make me do that again…..
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very straightforward redraw because this quest and this whole scene have been ON my mind.
#fenhawke#fenris#hawke#garret hawke#dragon age 2#da2#dragon age#da2 fanart#dragon age fanart#itseart#im sure everything that can be said about this scene has been said but ohh my god.#obviously its funny that fenris says that and then we get this long silent cut of mage hawke with his big wet puppy eyes#before fenris gets overwhelmed and leaves#but like the self loathing in the statement? thats the meat#at least thats how i interpreted it#im right at the end of act two right now. i love their messy relationship.#and i just played the legacy dlc and brought fenris with me... he's so charmingly awkward in between the horrors#“thank you for... bringing me along again hawke”#“why wouldnt i? the more the merrier”#“i just.. am pleased. to see you :)”#varric hitting him with the ooookay gay boy HELLP#the shading on hawke's clothes is lackluster i lost steam around that point lmao#EDIT: forgot to image describe now its up
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From "Managerial Liberties" on AO3 by @miribalis (where they collect fallen angels like shiny Pokémon at the hotel), it makes me really happy (and has my heart).
#lucifer looks like shit in this but im gonna off myself if i have to touch this again#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#radioapple#alastor#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel comic#appleradio#my art#I LOVE ADAM SO MUCH IN THIS FIC!#i always liked him but he's just so stupid i like him even more now#drawing soft alastor is the bane of my existence#it always looks wrong and im just SO BAD at it#oh and i have a new ipad and im unstoppable now#and can i please have 100 more chapters of this fanfiction?#the writing is EVERYTHING god
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🌕Total Eclipse🌑
Writer: @zipzapzooooooom Editor: @onawhimsicot
Assistance: @gingermaple @kunehokki @corvidaearts @/mybrotherjoso7
and THE AMAZING COVER by googly88fancy!!
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NO WAY HERE IT IS part 1 of MY TEAM'S COMIC!! FOR @hotguycomiczine !!!!! :D
I pour my blood sweat and tears into this one fr. HGCZ is the most insane project i've been in and I am so so proud of it <3 Big giant shoutout to everyone that ended up in my team, without any of you I couldn't have done it and ty for putting up with my shit HASHDSAEHEGLP. <333
If you haven't yet checked out the entire monster of this amazing zine, def do so here! 🏹
Part 2 will be posted tmr but if u dont want to left on a cliffhanger. pspsppspssps🪤
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[ MERCH ] [ MISC ]
#hotguy comics zine#hgcz#hgcz spoilers#goodtimeswithscar#grian#impulsesv#geminitay#pearlescentmoon#desert duo#hotguy#cuteguy#i mean what where's cg i only see grian-💥#hermitcraft#hermitblr#my art#comic#GOD I LOVE THIS PROJECT SM UEUAHEUAUFE TYPING THESE MADE ME EMOTIONAL AGAIN LMAO#there's so many behind the scenes stuff i can post now HASJHEJE I'll get on to it later maybe!! :D#bug beloved. my bastard child. still cant believe the team ended up letting me do the final design tbh i am so honored i love this lil guy#and GIANT ASS SHOUTOUT TO ZZ THIS WAS THE *BEST* IDEA EVERRRRRR HEHEEHHEE#ok i WILL stop rambling but!!!! please please please check out the whole zine if u havent already. it is just. phenomenal#<3
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toot toot!
#breaking my streak of dramatic af captions bc look at this. look at it. wtf was i supposed to call it. he's tootin whaddya want from me#he go TOOT TOOT on his lil trumpet i fuckgjn LOVE HIM im maxing this card im serious#lvl 60 10/10 no expense is too much for my precious boy#i found a new brush that has this rly soft charcoal vibe and i used it on this whole thing and it was SEXY it was HEAVEN#it was fun for coloring too!!! and the outfit colors are fun to color OUGHH everything made just for me <3 feeling SILLY#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#his bunny outfit sweeps like im sorry but its the best card of the event and its not even fucking close#suntails#i did one 10-pull bc i wanted the paint bonus from epel's card even tho i HATE that card#and i instead got SUPER lucky and got deuce and NO epel!!! i couldnt be fucking happier#then my job interview today never called and i was miserable again but it was an internal issue and im now rescheduled for next week#so please dear god pls guys pray i get this job. i want it sooooo bad
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cast out of paradise
#please see my vision here#PLEASE#sorry for injecting my catholic trauma into the silly superhero show guys I can’t help it#the fallen angel#invincible#invincible show#invincible fanart#omni man#omniman#nolan grayson#mark grayson#debbie grayson#crismakesstuff#the original painting ‘the fallen angel’ is just SO HIM#the grief the despair and anger about his own choices#ITS NOLAN!#ok but if you guys let me ramble if I had to assign biblical roles to the graysons#i can see nolan as god himself (or lucifer but more so god tbh) debbie is mother mary and mark is jesus#the whole ‘lamb of god’ motif just fits mark wayyyy too well#also I saw someone make art of debbie and mark as ‘la pietà’ and I’ve been a changed person since#AGAIN SORRY FOR THROWING CATHOLIC IMAGERY AT THE SUPERHERO SHOW#this is how my brain wants to cope w it ig ;-;#catholic imagery
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stay warm! 🌟🍬🤖🎈
#stupid idiot forgot his mittens. to the shredder#merry yurimas.#polysho#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#proseka#Oh my god im waking uo for the stupid broadcast in like 6 hours im dumb as fuck#WEH. WEH#merry whatever the fuck#AUUUUUU excited to have nothing to do and draw for myself for um 12.. days. Oh my god theres only 12 days til 2nd sem. Oh fuck everything#I NEED TO DRAAAAAAAAW.#guys help i was going to draw song covers i want but i need to sleep cause i have stuff tomorrow but listen#if rks gets a snobbism cover i called it. Ok? ok.#i think it would be funny and just if they dont get another duet again. get the ruinene treatment. CAN WE FREE RNN ACTUALLY ITS CHRISTMAS#what was the other thing. um carnival that song i want it added so bad idk if theres sny songs with its letter count but please.#literally played nijiro stories on repeat while drawing this we need them back#fucking NBOODY TOOOOLD ME ITS EMUKASA WEEK ON STIPID TWITTER IM NOOOOTHING IM NOTHIN#i usually acknowledge that i dont have the moxy to do fanweeks but i really want to be drawing more and faster so i will participate.#emurui week is like march iirc. you wont get away from me this time.
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As soon as I'm done with commissions (and depression stops being a bitch) I WILL draw more ragapom and make more comics, cuz holy SHIT we need more Sapphics up in this bitch!!!
#panda talks#rambling in the tags#episode 3 please gimmie crumbs#the ragapommers are fucking STARVING#and I dont hate any ship#nor the people who don't ship ragapom#but DEAR GOD#80% of the ships here? straight as an arrow#and THATS NOT BAD#JUST... as a lesbian I'd like a bit more female on female action y'know?#then again f/f ships IN GENERAL are always overshadowed#but thats a topic for another day#text post#digital circus shipping#ragapom shipping#buttonblossom shipping
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The tragic idea that the Betrayers loved their siblings so much that it ended up being what drove them apart. They didn't want to settle for anything that could hurt their family, and mortals were doing so, either directly (a mortal usurping one of them) or indirectly (emotionally hurting them during the Schism by just. dying so much). To the Betrayers, it wasn't worth it. They wanted their beloved family to leave and go somewhere that wouldn’t hurt them.
To them, it's the primes who are the betrayers. The primes were motivated by more than just love for their immediate family - they loved their creation, too, and more than that, felt a responsibility for it. They would rather fight their own siblings than leave it.
We saw all the gods love and protect each other during the opening of Downfall. The Betrayers were not uniquely evil from the start. They wanted to save themselves and their family from hardship and suffering, even if it meant leaving their creation, their game, and in response their siblings locked them away. Not only do they not love mortals, they view mortals as this corruptive force that somehow turned their family against them. Do they think that, if they succeed in exterminating them, the Primes will be freed from their influence? Maybe - perhaps some of them are waiting to forgive and embrace their siblings, but far from all, I suspect. Asmodeus certainly expressed during Calamity that he didn’t so much want to be reunited with his siblings as he wanted to punish them. He was betrayed by the ones he loved most for the sake of a game! Maybe togetherness and forgiveness was once an obtainable goal, but not anymore. Even if the Betrayers succeeded in ending Exandria, the Primes would never forgive them, and they would never forgive the primes. Their family can never be whole again because of, as they see it, the toxic influence of mortals. So they hate mortals for this influence, but more than that, they hate their siblings for being so weak as to fall for it.
#the betrayers were selfish in wanting to choose the gods' wellbeing over all of exandria#but they don’t see it like that. to them the primes were selfish for choosing a stupid game over their family - the only thing that mattere#sighs wistfully. still a bit sad that there's no betrayer pc's. would've been interesting#but their presence is still really cool don’t get me wrong! no one plays asmodeus the way brennan plays him#i just. imagine being a regular human teenager and then you go through anamnesis and realize youre a god who hates all mortals#what did that look like? were they conflicted? attached to their mortal families? did they immediatly turn bad again?#man i would love to see the actual anamnesis process PLEASE#critical role#cr3#cr3 spoilers#downfall#cr spoilers#nella talks cr
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cursed kids v2 ⚠️👹
i've been a jjk first years stan since day one and have been wanting to redraw the first art i did featuring the three of them
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#kugisaki nobara#yuuji#megumi#nobara#fanart#jjk fanart#im so tired help but theyre DONE im sososoosos pleased with them#even yuuji who dug his heels in to th very end :'>>>#wow 2020 rly was 4 years ago huh#to my credit i still think the designs i came up with in th og r honestly really good???#obv i didn't do a fullbody redraw (n thank god fr that) so i couldn't include All my details and there were some things that i edited#but overall they r solid !!!! i rly regret tht i couldn't include nobara's fishnets dgfhs#gave her her bat instead . equivalent exchange :)#she has one in the original but i specifically remember being bummed that the pose didnt let me show the nails that were in it#so took Full advantage of the new pose here !! she has killed before and will kill again#other changes....yuuji's omamori earring n sword details r New! as is the decision to include his canon scars :> fits the vibe#megumi changed the least?? changed the tassels n colour of his shoulder kanji to match yuuji and gave him a cigarette to fill empty space#other than that i think th majority of his changes r just me getting better at drawing megu#god the edited poses make these designs sing im so happy i did this#these r my kids !!!!! they have grown with me!!!!!#i am very proud and also sleep deprived and i need to not look at these anymore
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