#Buck and Eddie's first from their first love confession all the way through to their first child and their first babies.

[luveline]

𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐚𝐳, 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐫𝐮𝐛𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐝 | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧

Eddie has a staring problem that you barely notice, though you share an aching, awful crush. One of you has to bend first, and it’s not who you’d expect. fem, 5k 

ditzy-ish reader, pining eddie, mutual pining, confessions, first kisses, fluff and hugging, idiots in love, mild states of undress

˚‧꒰ა ✮ ໒꒱‧˚

It’s a day fit for a funeral in Hawkins. Rain hammers his bedroom window like hailstones, plinking against the frame, condensation running down the panes in thick rivulets he soaks up with an old t-shirt. 

It’s supposed to be spring time. Green grass, flowers, a gentle humming sun to warm the back of his neck while he sits out on the couch on the porch, a hand-rolled cigarette between his fingers, the tip shimmering with heat. 

But the rain pours. He’s cleaned his room for the first time in a month, at least, and his back aches in the best way as he lays down amongst fresh sheets. His room feels strange when it’s organised, but he doesn’t mind. He pictures the state of it through a second pair of eyes. This is a boy who cares about things, who takes care of them, who could take care of me, too. 

Rain again rackets on the metal roof above. He and Wayne keep a couple hundred bucks stashed for the day the roof flies straight off —they take turns hiding it, because cars break down and groceries get more expensive every year, but god will they need it, and so they safeguard it well. 

He syphoned a little of the money recently with Wayne’s support. It was for a good cause. 

“Jesus,” Eddie murmurs to himself, not tired but feeling dull as the clouds outside eat the remaining sun. 

It’s depressing to be poor, and to lose a day trying to hide the evidence of an entire life in a small room. He could sleep a hundred years. 

He’s just finished pulling the sheets over his shoulder when somebody knocks on the front door. Wayne opens it three rooms away, the sound of the rain doubled. 

He gives a startling shout, “Ed! Your girl!” 

Eddie topples out of bed. Doesn’t mean to, foot caught in the bottom of the sheets and stuck as he scrambles to slide out of the mess. He’s begged Wayne not to call you that when you’re within earshot, but Wayne’s a mean (kind) old bastard (middle aged dad) who wants Eddie dead (happy, and in love). 

“Come on in, girl. You’re soaking.” 

“It’s raining.” 

“It’s pouring down. Did you walk here?” 

“Took my bike. Thought I’d get struck by lightning in the car.” 

“How’d you figure?” 

Eddie goes to grab the door handle and spins on his heel, staggering onto his bed and up against the wall, where a mirrored tray once used by Dio himself for rolling hangs from the wall. He checks his face in the polished surface, his warped mouth and nose, too small eyes, and swears to himself that one day he’ll get a real mirror with a fully-functioning reflective surface. 

Then he hops down off of the bed, causing a reverberation he knows traverses the entirety of the trailer floor. Eddie snatches a rare clean towel from his laundry chair and speeds down the hall. 

“Hello,” he says, more casual than he feels to find you unexpectedly in his house. “You’re soaked.” 

You give a sweet smile. “It’s raining out, did you not know?” 

Your hair is dripping, water racing down the curves of your face to collect at your chin. Eddie can see the smudges of your makeup where it’s washing off as he wraps a towel around you, kohl on your cheeks, eyelashes turned to half-diamonds and sticky-looking. You grin at being covered, taking the towel from his fingers before he can dab you dry. 

“Why didn’t you just call me?”’

“I can never remember if your phone number ends in three or four.” 

“Seven. I wrote it down for you a hundred times.” 

You rub your eyes and spread all manner of glitter and shadow over your skin. You wipe your neck and the glitter spreads like an alien rash. 

When you talk next, you shiver, “I lost it a hundred times, sorry. Is it okay that I'm here?” 

Wayne, who’s been watching with a distinct sense of amusement from the couch, lets out a chesty laugh. “Honey, it’s always okay that you’re here on my account. And it’s my house.” 

“It’s fine.” Eddie turns your shoulder so he can mouth over it without being caught. Asshole. 

Another laugh follows. Eddie would cut each of his fingers from his hand and then his hand from his wrist if it were something Wayne needed him to do, but that doesn’t make him any less of an opportunistic asshole. If there’s a way to fuck with Eddie, he tends to try it. He loves Eddie with all the tenacity of a father who loves his son, but Wayne got infected with little bitch disease or something and Eddie can’t cure it. 

“Can I please wash my face? I didn’t expect to get soaked.” 

“Didn’t you?” He regrets his flippancy quickly, leading you down the hall. “You could take a shower. What do you think?” 

You’ve never showered here, but Eddie’s trying to, you know, date you. Romance you, get to cherish you, however anyone wants to say it. And it’s not a war of attrition, just a natural escalation of sharing, or a minimising of boundaries. 

No, that’s pervy, isn’t it? 

“I mean–” He starts to correct himself. 

You interrupt with your answer, “Yes, please, do you think I could? But I don’t have anything to wear.”

“I have your purple hoodie in my room, and there’s gotta be a pair of sweatpants here that fit you,” he says. 

They’ve got a whole bunch of clothes here that floated in from somewhere else, Eddie’s other friends or stuff they’ve bought by mistake. He’s sure he can find something.

“You have my hoodie?” you ask, black kohl spreading across the towel as you wipe your cheek. 

Eddie only smelled it one time. When he’d realised you left it in his van he brought it in and folded it, waiting for the next time he’d see you to give it back, but that night he’d been getting out of the shower wondering if he could call you or if that was too soon, and your hoodie had been right there. So he stood there in his pyjama pants with his wet hair and he didn’t think about picking your hoodie up, he just did, and when he pressed it to his face it still smelled of your perfume. 

He put it back and felt like a loser for days.

“It’s in my closet, you left it in the van Monday,” he explains quickly, nudging you through the doorway of the bathroom. 

The Munson bathroom is teeny tiny but not unnavigable. There’s a shower pressed to the far wall that could squeeze in two people, their toilet to the right, a sink basin opposite that with a medicine cabinet and just enough room for a dirty laundry box that’s always, always full. 

Eddie opens the shower and turns it on. “It takes a while to get really hot but then it’s not hot for long, sorry. There’s my shampoo if you want it, and soap, and body wash. Sorry, none of it is super girly.” 

“Sorry sorry,” you say, pretending to hit him in the stomach. “What’s with all the sorries, handsome? I can’t wait to smell like a boy.” 

The way you say it. Eddie doesn’t know what it is, but it’s why he’s crazy about you. 

Probably shouldn’t tell you that as you're taking off your jacket, though. 

“I’ll be right back,” he says. 

Eddie heads out of the bathroom to their skinny linen cabinet hidden in the hallway. He grabs the last two towels from the middle shelf and takes pause, fabric starchy in his hands. Just be normal, he thinks, a pep talk from Eddie to Eddie. She hangs out with you all the time for a reason. She held your hand at the movies. 

Eddie’s in better spirits when he remembers that. Your hand in his, your ring pushing his ring further down his finger, your cheek touching his shoulder as you’d leaned in and asked if he wanted some of your popcorn. 

He opens the door without thinking, shower pattering against the perspex wall, your legs crossing tightly as he enters, turning yourself away from him.

“Woah!” you say, laughing.

“Holy crap.” The image of your red underwear immediately stamps itself into his mind as he pulls the door shut between you. They were really cute, red and white gingham, showcasing just the slightest curve of your– “I told you I was coming back!” 

“I thought you’d knock!” you laugh. “Sorry I flashed you. At least I had my shirt on.” 

At least, he thinks wryly, shoving his arm through the gap in the door, heavy towels pulling at his fingers. His head’s about to snap off, it's turned so far away from the door’s opening. “Here.” 

“If you wanna see me naked so bad you can just ask,” you tease. 

“Take the towels, loser.” 

You take the towels and he closes the door, preventing any more accidental creeping, and giving himself a reprieve. Gingham underwear. Wavy lettuce edgings kissing your skin. 

Holy fuck. Being a person is so lame, Eddie thinks. He wants to have a crush on you purely, and yet seeing the way you’d crossed your legs to hide from him, smiling, he can’t not think about kissing you —touching you. If he doesn’t get you laid out in his bed soon for some slow kissing he’s not gonna make it.

Eddie opens the strip vent above his window and prays it doesn’t flood his whole room. Clean, it doesn’t look half bad, he could bring you in here respectfully, you could stay the night without fearing for your life. 

You take a quick shower. He’s barely gotten over his nerves when you’re walking into his room, a towel around you, not a hint of shyness about you. 

“You didn’t bring me anything to wear,” you explain. 

Eddie just stares at you. 

“Eddie?” You wrap the towel tighter. “Come on, you’re staring at me.”

“Sorry.” His mouth is bone dry. 

“You have my hoodie, right? Just need some pants.” You cross your arm tightly across your chest. “I don’t usually notice when people are staring at me.”

“You aren’t usually naked in my room,” he says, genuinely and embarrassingly apologetic. 

“I’m not naked. Come on, please? Do I have to wait outside the door?” you ask with a laugh. 

Eddie stands up. Shakes his head hard, almost trips over himself trying to get to his dresser. He decides honesty will be best at this point, lest you think he has only one thing on his mind, “Listen, I’m sorry. I’m just in my head about something and I wasn’t expecting you to come out like that. It’s not right. You’re just… you’re really pretty.” 

“Thank you.” He can’t see you, sorting quickly through his middle drawer and all his miscellaneous pants for a pair he’s sure would fit, if he could just remember where it was. “What are you in your head about?” 

“What?” 

“Eddie, are you okay?” 

“No, no,” he moans, rubbing his face with his hand, ring scratching the bridge of his nose, “I’m not okay, princess, I’m overheating or something, Jesus Christ.” He finally lays eyes on the sweatpants he’d been thinking of, grabs your hoodie from the top shelf and drops them both at the end of the bed. “I’ll give you some privacy.” 

“I don’t have any underwear.” 

“And that’s something I can’t fix,” he says, leaving the room in a hurry. 

Eddie gets to the living room and keels over. His hair falls in his face, his shirt slides down his back. What the fuck is wrong with him? 

Wayne, sliding his shoes on in the recliner, gives a start. “What’s wrong?”

Eddie lifts his head, yanking hair from his face, the skin of his under eyes pulled down harshly. “Oh my god.”

Wayne wrinkles his nose. 

“No ones ever been such a pathetic excuse for a man before,” Eddie says. 

“Your dad’s in jail,” Wayne points out. “And not for the impressive stuff.”

“I’m pathetic.” 

“You’re fine. You’re not supposed to be not pathetic, you’re twenty.” 

“I’m twenty one.” 

“The extra year doesn’t mean much. I know you think you’re all grown up, but you’re still an idiot.” 

Wayne stands and shrugs on the jacket laying over the armrest. 

“Wait, where are you going?” 

“I thought you were definitely gonna ask her?” Wayne asks knowingly. That’s what Eddie told him, after all. “Next time I see her, Wayne, I’m asking her to go steady.” 

Eddie shakes his head. “You can’t leave.” 

“Eddie.” Wayne gestures for Eddie to stop slouching like some fiend from a bad horror. “Listen. I get that you’ve always been sort of… behind everyone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. She likes you. She biked here in a hurricane.”

“What if she says no?” he asks. 

Truthfully, Eddie’s more scared of you saying yes. 

Wayne shrugs. “Girl like that’ll still be your friend after. It’ll be fine, okay? Do you need a hug before I go?” 

“No.” Eddie rubs his eyes some more, sore now from being touched. “Maybe.” 

Wayne crosses the room to give his shoulder a squeeze. “It will be fine. You’re great with rejection, Eds, but I have a good feeling about this one.” 

Eddie felt better about it, before he embarrassed himself staring at you. But Wayne’s right, even if Eddie’s read things wrong between you, he’s sure you’ll still want to be his friend. You and Eddie are the same kind of weird, though he’s more angry where you’re carefree. If everything goes wrong, you’ll probably just give an unnecessary apology and offer to braid his hair. Which will be torture, but Eddie’ll still say yes.

Wayne calls goodbye, and you shout, “Bye, Mr. Munson!” to which Wayne wiggles his eyebrows. 

“Get lost,” Eddie says. 

“Go make her a drink. I’ll see you later.” 

That’s not a bad idea. Eddie makes you a mix of orange and grapefruit juice with a couple of ice cubes and a plastic straw, your reaction predicted and then proved. 

“It’s a cocktail,” you say, pleased, sitting on the side of his bed. 

“It’s not a cocktail, just juice.” 

“Can I have some socks, please, Eddie?” 

Eddie passes you your drink, fingertips brushing. “Yeah. Anything else?” He pretends to be exhausted as he trudges back over to his dresser. 

You laugh and sip your drink. “No, I think you’re treating me quite well.” 

Eddie grabs a random pair and finally gets to sit down beside you, the dresser drawer left out, a spare sock fallen to the floor. You shuffle back into his pillows, propping your juice on his side table, and holding your hands out for the socks. Again, your fingertips touch his as he passes them to you. You seem to enjoy it, a smile lighting your face as you pull your knees up to put the socks on. 

“Thank you for waiting on me,” you say quietly. Not shyly, just quiet. 

“You’re welcome. Came all this way to see me, didn’t you?” He gives you a shove. You shuffle back further. “In the pouring rain.” 

“It felt important at the time.” 

“Yeah?” 

You get the socks on and don’t care about them once they're past your heels. Eddie does the honour of smoothing out the bands so that the elastic won’t dig into your skin, and when he’s done he can feel you looking at him heavily. You’re not one for continued eye contact, but you smile like you were waiting for it all day, like it’s a relief to see him. 

“Bad weather,” you say, slouching down. “I think I’m still wet on the inside.” 

“Gross,” Eddie says, pushing you over bodily to sit beside you. This isn’t new, he doesn’t need any nerves, and he’s grateful when they don’t come. “Here, I’ll pull the blanket over you.” 

“Can’t move,” you say, leaning back against the pillows.

Eddie stretches his legs out. You keep yours up, but you turn to his side, and before he can really make any sense of you, you’re dropping your face into his shoulder. 

“Are you still cold?” he asks, searching for the truth in your strange comment. 

You nod into his shoulder. “I’m freezing. The shower didn’t get very hot.” 

“Sorry,” he says, letting his cheek rest on your head. 

You lift your chin as he does it, his lashes pressed to your forehead, the two of you stuck together like two warped jigsaw pieces. You probably weren’t made to be together, but you make a nice picture, and you fit snugly now. That’s what Eddie thinks. 

This is the sort of moment that makes Eddie wanna ask you out. Maybe you’re just the best friend he’s ever had, but something about this closeness feels different. You wrap your arm around his stomach in a hug and he knows this is different. 

“It’s okay,” you say finally, sighing as you shift downward into his side, getting comfortable. 

“Please don’t bike here in the rain. It’s, like, torrential. You could actually get sick.” 

You feel warm where your body presses against his, but Eddie doubts that’ll make a difference if the cold already made you sick. The bike ride from your place to his isn't short. He covers your arm with his and tries to be your space heater, cheek sliding over your forehead. 

“Eddie…” You hug him with tenderness. Eddie’s reluctant to say cuddle, but it’s close. “This might be a surprise to you, but I think it’s worth the rain and the cold to see you. Especially when you do this.” 

“What am I doing?” 

“You’re rubbing my arm.” 

He hadn’t noticed his hand caressing up and down your arm where it rests on his stomach. 

“You make me feel amazing,” you say, dropping your face into his chest. 

That’s his last straw. Eddie gets both arms around you and cuddles you (it’s a cuddle, okay! he’s a loser!) to him, arms tight but not cruel. All this fuss and you’re finally laying on top of him. He decides he won’t ask you after all. He’s not that brave, and he doesn’t want this to end. 

Your legs fall onto him. You relax completely. Even after you shower he can smell your perfume. 

“You smell nice,” he murmurs. 

“It’s on my hoodie,” you murmur back. 

Right. Eddie should remember. 

“You make everything smell like you.” Even his van keeps your scent most days. 

“Too much?” 

“The right amount,” he says firmly. 

You lay on his chest for a while, just breathing. Eddie rubs your back, tells himself he will ask, actually, because he can’t imagine not getting to do this again. You might even stay over. He could live hours of this. He didn’t know having you lay on him could make him feel like this. 

He can’t believe you’ve never done it before. 

Rain pounds the window. Condensation drips down onto the sill. You let your legs stretch out flat and then manoeuvre to be laying half atop him, hoodie riding up your back. 

“Any warmer now?” he asks.

“Yeah, you’re warming me up.” You lavish in his arms for a moment, and then lift your face. “Oh, this is a bad angle.” 

“For me or you?” 

“For me, duh.” 

Eddie doesn’t think you could have a bad angle. He rubs at your upper arm as you start to shift. “You know, your bike has just as big a chance of getting hit by lightning as your car does. More, probably.” 

“You think so?” 

“It’s physics. So, please don’t do it again.” 

You hum. “Hm, should I risk getting struck by lightning, or spend the evening without you?” you murmur, your arm moving, moving slowly, your hand resting gently on the column of his neck. There’s something ironic in your voice, wry, but your eyes are warm. He’s paralysed. No one has ever spoken to him like you. “I think I’d rather get struck by lightning.” 

You stare at one another. He laughs. You join in, your thumb a pressure at his neck, and when you move up his chest to lean in, he isn’t expecting it. 

“We’re very close together,” you whisper. 

“Super close,” he whispers back. 

“…Eddie, can I ask you something?” Your eyes slip shut, your lips so close that something in him aches, just enough wit about him to cup your shoulders in his forearm. 

“Yeah.” 

He doesn’t sound half as calm as you do. 

“Would you… Do you think we could be official? Would you want that?” You tilt your head to the side. “Is that stupid?” 

“Official?” he asks, panicked, his eyes squeezed shut hard enough for a moment that they ache.

“Like, you’d be my boyfriend. I’d be your girlfriend. We’d be close like this all the time.” 

Eddie panics so hard he just says the first thing that comes into his head, “Like, we’d kiss?” 

“I hope so,” you say, your nose pressing against his, the tip to the side of his, and then against his nostril. The heat of your breath is hard to ignore. “What do you think?” 

What does Eddie think about it? 

He catches your lips in a slow kiss. Achingly slow, not even sure it’s a kiss until you reciprocate, and your fingers dig behind his neck to tease his hair. Your lips part against his, the heat of your tongue sudden and undeniable —Eddie didn’t know you had it in you. He squeezes you to him, attempting to crane his neck downward, reliant on your enthusiasm as you move up, as you use his neck to pull yourself closer. 

Your noses crush together, and it actually hurts. “Sorry,” he says, easing you back, “you okay?” 

“‘Nother kiss,” you say hopefully, distractedly. 

He can’t not give it to you. 

Your hand spreads flat against his chest and you kiss, you kiss, long and slow movements against him before turning your head to take it again. Eddie doesn’t always know what to do with himself, but he knows kissing, no matter what anybody might think about him, and he takes the lead. 

His hand screws into a fist against your hoodie, the slip of your back further exposed as you shiver into his mouth, a sound you shouldn’t make sweet on his tongue. 

You pull away, breath on his lips. “Wanted you to kiss me for so long,” you murmur. 

Eddie knows you’re not saying it to flirt, and that makes it worse. 

“I should’ve kissed you a long time ago,” he says roughly. 

“You wanted to?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, so much, I’m a loser about you–”

“I’m always a loser,” you interrupt, “but especially about you.” 

You scratch your fingers through his hair, encouraging his head down for another kiss. This one rougher but not rough, his arm slips finally behind your head where he’d needed it to be, hooking you in his elbow to keep you in one place. To kiss you soundly, without interruption. Your almost feverish ebbing inward is a dream, your nose rubbing up against his is a fantasy. 

His heart hammers and hammers at his ribs. 

You pull away to let him breathe. “You’re very excited,” you tease lightly. 

Eddie kisses you, breathless. He kisses you so much he’s surprised you allow it, but your thumb rubs his cheek, and he knows he’d been right all along. You want him like he wants you, with startling, mildly pathetic urgency. 

He feels like a fucking prince. Girl of his dreams in his lap, everything he wants, and he didn’t even have to ask. 

—

Eddie spends a week in bliss. You’re suddenly everywhere, all the time, attached to his hip or some other part of him, and he forgets for seven whole days that he bought you a ring. 

The rain dries up, the Munson emergency fund lives to die another day, and he remembers the ring only minutes before you’re knocking at his door. 

He trips over himself trying to answer it before Wayne, who’s taken to being as painfully embarrassing as is possible for one human being, can get it for him. 

“One day you’re gonna eat shit and break your nose,” Wayne says. 

Eddie yanks open the door. “Yeah, thanks. Hey, beautiful, what’s with the sunglasses?” 

You slide them down your nose. You’re a vision on his front step, not that you’d ever notice your own intrigue. “The sunglasses?” you ask, tucking them away. “What do you think they’re for? Three guesses.” 

He grabs your waist, leaning down out of the doorway so as to save Wayne the agony. “That’s smart,” he says, kissing you quickly in hello. “You’re funny. Need anything before we go?” 

“No, I’m okay. Hi, Mr. Munson!” you add.

“Hey, honey! How are you?” Wayne calls.

You look up into Eddie’s face with an obvious delight. “I’ve never been better.” 

Eddie grins back. 

He waves a quick goodbye to Wayne and then he’s out the door. You grab his wrist and practically dance him to the car, where you offer your keys, and he deigns to drive. From there it’s smooth sailing, familiarity with a better twist, Eddie driving with the windows down and your hands twined on your thigh. Things haven’t changed much since you asked him to go steady, there’s just a whole lot more of this. Touching, kissing, no weird guilt about staring. 

As it turns out, you’re as eager to be laid out in his bed as he is to lay you out. He’s never wanted to kiss you more, and now he’s allowed. 

“Eyes on the road.” 

He leans over to kiss your cheek. The sun has warmed your skin, and his kiss makes you smile. You look pretty no matter the weather. 

“Before we get there, I have something to give you.” He takes his hand from yours to slide the box from his pocket. He holds it up. “But you can only have it if you swear you’ll call me tonight before bed. No excuses. You know exactly what number to call.” 

“Ends with a three,” you say, nodding. 

He sighs. “No, it does not.” 

“I’m kidding! Two one nine seven, I have now committed it to memory.” 

Eddie pays attention to the road, though it’s clear and long heading out of the trailer park and into town. “That deserves a gift.” 

You’re back in your glitters today, a skirt to enjoy the fine weather, a button shirt with a cute triangle collar, you’re lovely as ever, if a tad much for some. Not Eddie. He loves the dark clothes, the tinkling bracelets, the fun way you smile like everything he says is a secret between him and you. People stare wherever you and Eddie go, but as long your arm is sewn through his he couldn’t care less. 

“A gift,” you say, smiling in your way, and taking the box politely. “I don’t think I deserve it for just remembering your number.” 

“You deserved it for less. It’s not much. You can pay me back in three or four amazing kisses. Right here.” He points to the tight juncture beneath his jaw. 

You attempt to lean over and kiss him immediately. He pushes you back, laughing, worsened by your own breathless laughter as you steal one exactly where he’d tapped. 

You settle back down, Eddie’s hand dropping kindly to your knee. “I wonder what it is,” you say. 

“Then open it.” 

“I am!” You pop the box open, it’s springing hinge snapping into place. “Oh, woah. Woah. Where did you get this?” 

It’s a slim ring, with a weirdly shaped band of quality metal around some cheaper but not totally worthless gemstones, of which there are three different colours: a topaz orange, a lime green, and a pinky-red ruby colour centre stage. They have nice cuts. It’s strange as you are, and he knew when he saw it you’d have to have it. 

“If I put it on my marriage finger, are we engaged?” you tease. 

“That one would be way heavier,” he says, giving you a squeeze. 

You slide it onto your middle finger and hold your hand up in the sunshine. It fits in with your other ring nicely, though it is, to Eddie’s pride, far prettier. 

He has half a mind to pull over and kiss each knuckle, but he’s trying to be less dramatic about you. It’s not working. 

“Thank you, Eddie. I love it.” 

“Best boyfriend ever?” he asks hopefully. 

To his mild fear but better pleasure, you climb up onto the console to press three quick kisses to his cheek and jaw, your hand under his ear holding him in tender place. “Best boyfriend ever. Even if you stare too much.” 

“How am I supposed to not?” he asks, with more weight than he’s intended. 

You speak matter of factly for the first time in your life. “I am going to cause an accident,” you promise, attempting to kiss his nose. “A bad one.” 

“Sit down, please.” He lets you kiss his nose, and then jabs you in the side. “Sit down, oh my god! That’s not funny, you’re so pretty I will total your car.” 

“Now who’s not funny?” 

You both laugh at the same time, the unfiltered, un-cute cackling of two idiots with the same sense of humour, and the same wealth of ridiculous honeymoon love. 

˚‧꒰ა ✮ ໒꒱‧˚

thank you so much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed. if you did, please consider reblogging or commenting!! thanks very much <3

[writersmess]

DEATH WISH LOVE | EVAN BUCKLEY

gif credit

Pairing: Evan Buckley x fem!reader

Summary: Buck never thought he could love someone like that. Especially not someone with the same death wish love as him.

Warning: Anxiety crisis, near-death experience, hospital, crying, ansgt.

Word count: 2.5K

a/n: My God, I can't believe it's taken me over a year to get back. I missed this place so much. It's been an intense, crazy year. I finally got my dream job at the best hospital in Latin America. I'm so happy, but at the same time it's demanded everything of me, working long shifts almost every day, but its the price I have to pay. I hope you like this one, it was based on the song Death Wish Love by Benson Boone, which as soon as I heard it I immediately imagined something with our dear Buck. I confess I thought I'd do something angsty, but I don't think I have that capacity, he already suffers so much that I just wanted him to have a happy ending this time.

Masterlist

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You were the new firefighter in 118, and also new to the city. In order to follow your dreams, you left your hometown with everyone and everything you knew. You craved for bigger things, you wanted the big city, you wanted Los Angeles.

The team welcomed you with open arms, which was unusual to you. You weren’t used to this or neither known by your affectionate gestures, but apparently everything was an excuse for a hug at the station. It was a bit hard to get used to all this affection, especially when you came from a place where you were always by yourself.

That was one of the main reasons you became a firefighter, you have walked through fire every single day of your life, why not make it your profession?

You were a source of curiosity between the team, always so quiet and so resistant to everyone's affection. It was hard to win you over. Especially because you had a rather difficult personality, you were fearless at work, you weren't afraid to go into the fire to save lives, you did it without thinking twice.

To Bobby you were a cause of concern, and sometimes the reason why he was having trouble sleeping. He knew this personality very well. It was the same one he had struggled for years to learn to deal with, the one he had to fight with so many times, he was very familiar with this death wish love, it was the same as Buck’s.

The blue-eyed man on the other side, couldn't understand why he couldn't take his eyes off you. Ever since you arrived a few months ago, your image has been running through Buck’s mind. You've become a challenge for him. But not in a bad way, he wanted to get to know you, he wanted to understand you. But you didn't make things any easier for him, especially when today was the first time he'd seen you laugh.

"You're drooling" he snapped back to reality when he heard Eddie mocking next to him.

"Shut up" Buck said, turning his gaze back to you playing with his niece.

You had a beauty he couldn't explain, an angelic one. You had this steely gaze and looking at you felt like suicide. He would fall to his knees if you asked him to. How could someone so delicate also be so dangerous?

The way you were reluctant to follow Bobby's orders, you'd walk into the fire without a second thought. You would take risks without thinking about your own safety, just thinking about everyone else. He saw how hard you worked, he saw how mad Bobby got when he ordered the building to be evacuated and you were always the last one to leave. You were intriguing and he was fascinated.

It was so strange for you. Being in Maddie's living room, with everyone gathered together like a big family, laughing and telling funny stories. The team met once a week, with all the families together, the children running around the living room, the smell of food in the air, the voices, the laughter.

You accepted the invitation after a few months of refusing, and now you spent the week looking forward to the moment when you would be together again.

Sometimes when you got home from a meeting, you cried. You cried because you never had that, you never had anyone who cared about you. You were an unexpected pregnancy, your parents didn't planned you, they didn't want you and that was never a secret to anyone.

And that's why you were surprised when one day you arrived early at the station and Hen had a cake for you that you had once said reminded of what your grandmother used to bake.

Or when another one Eddie handed you a drawing that Chris made specifically for you. Of the two of you playing together.

Or when Maddie sent you, through Chim, the cookies you said you loved one day while you were having coffee together.

Or when Bobby invited you to have lunch with him and Athena on a Sunday ‘cause he knew you were going to do it alone.

Or when Buck gave you a book he'd heard you say was your favorite during a conversation.

*

It was mid-afternoon on a Sunday. Your hands were shaking, your heart pounding. The words your father had once spoken echoed in your mind. "You will never be loved". But you were at a table with 118's entire family, and you felt loved. Maddie told you about the gossip from her work. Karen hugged you from the side every time you passed by her. Hen included you in every conversation. Athena calmly answered all the questions you were curious about her work. So why did you feel like an imposter? Why was your father's voice echoing inside your head? Why were you on the verge of an anxiety attack?

"I'll be right back" you muttered to the girls, but you realized how shaky your voice sounded. You were pathetic.

You barely made it to the bathroom, your legs buckled and you sat down in the corner of the room. You could hardly breathe, it was hard to pull in the air. Tears streamed down your face. Your heart was racing. Your hands were shaking.

You heard your voice being called from outside. Damn. You couldn't calm down, your hand was on your chest as if it could make the pain go away.

"Hey, hey. I'm here. Calm down, I’ve got you" it was Buck.

His voice was just a whisper in your ear. You let a sob escape your lips. Pathetic. You felt his arms around you, until you were all wrapped up in his arms. Why was he doing that? Why did he care?

He stayed there until you stopped crying. You were still in his arms, and it was so warm, so safe. Sighs came from your lips, and you couldn't imagine what a mess Buck's head and heart were in. He wanted you in his arms, not just now.

"I'm sorry," you whispered and tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let you, so you stayed.

"You don't have to talk about what's going on in there, but the day you feel like you need a hug to cry into, you've got mine" your eyes filled with tears again. "And don't ever apologize for it"

*

The smiles on your lips were becoming constant. And it was Buck's favorite image. You were letting people through your armor, you were letting your guard down, and it felt good. You now baked pies and cakes for the station on your days off, recipes learned from the girls after a few long afternoons of chatting and coffee.

Your laughter was contagious, and the boys would always crack little jokes to get them out of you.

Your eyes were now looking out for a pair of blue ones, all the time, everywhere. Eyes that were always looking back at you. Your hands were always looking for an excuse to bump into Buck's, just to feel that shiver run down your spine every time. And he would find any reason to text you, until the excuses became routine. You woke up every day with a good morning message and went to bed with a good night one. The little touches now became big gestures, Buck loved to brush your hair out of your face and tuck them behind your ear. And you loved to run your hand over the birthmark above his eye. You loved when his warm lips traveled up your neck to your lips. You loved when his hands ran over your body always so slowly and so gently, bringing goosebumps wherever they went. You loved making love with him. How he worshiped your body, how much he worshiped you. The way he made you feel loved.

You had a hold on Buck, and you didn't even know it. He had become attached to you, attached to the idea of having you by his side. The nights with you were the ones he could truly rest in, the mornings where he woke up to your soft kisses on his face, were the ones he would keep forever in his mind.

But he could feel that you were still resisting his feelings, and he was terrified of losing you. Buck was in love with you. It took months for him to realize that, but he did it. He loved you.

But one thing has never changed. And as Buck followed the loud murmurs coming from Bobby’s office, where he knew you were at, he kept in mind the danger you were in at every call. He couldn't lose you.

"Hey, what happe-" he couldn't finish the sentence when he saw you walking out the door, since you brushed past him, bumping into his shoulder, without even looking him in the face.

Buck made his way to the room, where he saw his captain wiping his hands across his face, letting out an exhausted sigh.

"She'll end up dead if she keep acting like this, Buck"

"I know"

"After the last call, if she doesn't change her behavior, I'll be forced to suspend her."

"I know."

Buck couldn't lose you.

You couldn't talk to Buck yet, you were so nervous after your conversation with Bobby. You were trying your best, how could he tell you that you had a death wish love? You were saving lives, and it didn't matter if it cost you your own. You didn't care.

A new call ecoed through the station. It was something big. A fire in a shed. People were working at the time, so there were many likely victims. You were anxious, just as you were before any call, but you were ready for it. You were born ready.

"Be careful," Buck told you before you got off the truck and you nodded. You were always careful "I love you"

You turned surprised to Buck, you'd never said that to each other before. It disconcerted you.

"Buck, I-"

Before you could say anything, you heard Bobby calling you to give instructions and you had to run.

I love you.

The words echoed in your head as you entered the burning building. No one had ever said that to you. You didn't even know the weight those words carried.

"Sir, follow this path and the fireman will take you to the exit."

It was so hot. You'd already lost count of how many people you'd pulled out of the line of fire. Your head was heavy. It was getting hard to breathe.

"Evacuate the building now," you could hear Cap saying over the radio. Everyone agreed and gave their location. You were about to respond when you heard something.

It was a call for help.

You could have sworn it was a call for help.

"Captain, I'm in the east side, I hear someone screaming for help. I'm close, I can get them out"

"Negative, the building will collapse at any moment. Get out immediately"

Your vision was blurred.

I love you.

You couldn't go out and leave those people to die, so you went ahead. The way to the door was difficult, there was a lot of rubble, and when you opened it, you froze in place.

It was empty. The fire danced in front of you, mocking you. But the cries for help... you've never been so wrong before.

I love you.

“It’s empty” you murmured at the radio.

Bobby was shouting your name from the other end of the radio. You turned around, but it was so hard to breathe. You tried to find your way back, but everything was spinning. Buck was now calling your name.

I love you.

His words were running through your head. Your steps were now slow. The way out, you couldn't find the way out. You could hear the fire laughing at you. Stupid. Pathetic. You heard an explosion behind you, and it threw you off balance, bringing you to the ground. You'd been walking through fire all your life, and now it would finally take its place back. Your siren buzzed in your ears. That would be the end of you.

I love you too, Buck.

The moment Buck came out of the building and didn't see you outside, he tried to go back. But hands held him in place.

This couldn't be happening. No, no.

Bobby called your name on the radio and you didn't answer. It's empty. That was the last answer they got. You weren't answering. An explosion. On the east side, where you were.

Buck's knees gave way, and he went down. All eyes were on the exit of the building waiting for you, waiting for a miracle. But it never came.

Buck screamed, and he would scream until his lungs gave up.

Time seemed to stop. Buck's screams were the only noise to be heard. And another explosion. Tears rolled down trough some faces. No one could believe it. This couldn't be happening.

Buck couldn't lose you like this.

"We found her" some voice echoed over the radio.

Buck's heart could stop any second now.

But the building was collapsing.

He broke free from his friends and ran into the building, dodging all the fallen and burnt obstacles, and he saw you. You were in the arms of a fireman. He ran up to you and carried you out of the building. As soon as you stepped onto the sidewalk, the building collapsed. Buck held you in his arms with all his strength and ran, feeling the debris fly past you.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" was the first thing that came out of your lips when he put you on the stretcher and he shut you up, pressing his lips to yours.

Buck analyzed each of your wounds alongside Hen and Chim and you could see the tears streaming down Buck's face, the ones that were also streaming down your own.

You were still struggling to breathe, every inch of your body ached, and you felt on the verge of losing consciousness. Until you succumbed to the darkness that was calling your name.

*

You woke up a few hours later in hospital. Your hands were being squeezed and you could feel something wet running down over them. Tears.

Buck had his face in your hands, he had never felt so afraid before. And when he heard your voice calling him, it was as if he could finally breathe.

"I'm sorry, Buck, I-I don't know what happened-"

"I almost lost you today"

Your heart broke into a million pieces. You did this to him, your recklessness, your impulsive behavior. It was your fault.

"I'm sorry"

Tears were now streaming down your face and he moved closer, running his hands gently down your cheeks.

"I was terrified of losing you. I'd die if I do."

"I would never leave you"

"Promise?"

"I love you, Buck. And I'll love you to death"

"Please don't let it be soon"

You smiled. No one had ever loved you like that.

"It won't."

[notashadowbutawave]

finally talked my wife into watching 8x06 "confessions" with me and WOW there's quite a lot going on in this breakup scene in buck's apartment (and the infamous glee scene for that matter) that I haven't seen discussed much on this website (though maybe I'm just not finding it?) like this show is always yelling the themes in your face but...

first of all I think it's somewhat intentional that Buck is being written as kind of regressing. So far in the show, he's gotten his confidence in romantic relationships by fulfilling the role with the person that he thinks he should fulfill. with Abby, Buck had just learned about serious adult romantic relationships and how they work and was trying to Be A Partner in a complete speed run. But he learned that no amount of devotion is a substitute for functionality. with Taylor, he was trying to Be A Functional Partner - and he learned that being a partner Has To involve trust, and that trust comes from somewhere else other than just our actions - it has to come from our hearts.

Tommy is the first person he's ever dated where he doesn't know what the next steps are and that's because this isn't something he has a blueprint for - being a Partner and a Functional Partner for somebody who sees right through him and sees exactly what he's trying to do, to make Tommy never leave. Abby was completely clueless (sorry I really dislike Abby) and Taylor didn't realize that an adult man could behave so badly without utter malice in his heart. Both of them kind of make the mistake of being vulnerable to Buck's charms.

Tommy is of course vulnerable to Buck's charms but Buck is more transparently himself with Tommy as well - and what Tommy sees, then, is a person who is deeply insecure and may be trending in the right direction but ultimately still thinks there's a lever he can pull to make Tommy stay and never leave him. He doesn't know that he's not done cooking yet because every new thing he learns about the world or others makes him feel brand fucking new.

So yes, the glee scene:

Josh was absolutely gagged that Tommy was Abby's ex fiance

Buck's first instinct is to see the situation from Abby's side and go into protective mode which is adorably loyal to be fair but also like ; get a grip

I actually love Josh's framing of "you care about this person and if you want a future in a queer relationship you need to learn that we don't all come to this the same way"

Did they need a cultural reference? No. Were they going to self referentially congratulate Ryan Murphy for inflicting it on the world? Yes.

And regarding the breakup itself:

What is wrong with this fandom's sense of humor that I haven't seen a gif of "I'm the himbo" ??? Like yes babe u sure are come here

Buck is really working so hard in this scene to make sure Tommy knows that he's serious. He's like... this freaked me out but I've decided I'm cool with it. She changed my life but not like you !!!

Like bless his heart, Buck thought he was really doing the right thing by telling Tommy about Abby BEFORE ASKING HIM TO MOVE IN WITH HIM. like MY CARDS ARE ON THE TABLE??? SEE??? LOVE ME FOREVER !! it's adorable and it's also cringe as fuck.

I think the real sin of the writing here is making Buck so completely clueless that this is the wrong move. Like he's kind of an idiot (Eddie Diaz's words not mine) but moving in with someone after dating them for six months in your 30s is WILD behavior and I don't think even Evan Buckley would fail to realize that this is a bit much in this moment.

But idk being in love makes one do stupid things? I did all of my messy bitch relationship shit before I turned 30 but I guess it is buck we are talking about

I completely understand why Tommy reacts the way he does in this scene and bless Lou Ferrigno Jr for acting it with such nuance, much more depth than the scene frankly deserves. What a heartbreaker. Like you see him tense up at Buck's request

"I'm not saying let's get married or engaged, even though we would have the right, thanks to the brave people who came before, including you." such an insane thing to say to your boyfriend. Whoever approved this script was trying to take me out like with a gun.

You then see the absolute grief in Tommy's eyes like oh god this kid is killing me. He's so sweet. He's so cute. He doesn't get it. I love him. He doesn't get it.

As an aside, Eddie being stalked in the juice bar by the hot priest was absolutely incredible.

I didn't hate this episode but wow the writing does suck shit, however I fully believe it makes sense for them to break up here and get back together in the future ??? because Buck DOES have some shit to figure out. Like moving in with someone is a lot of fucking intimacy REALLY fast and baby boy sometimes you NEED to pump the brakes a little ESPECIALLY when you think someone might be THE ONE and you just figured out you like guys six months ago.

I get it and yeah the writing is tragic and the inclusion of Abby in general is just unhinged and unnecessary but like I don't hate the broad strokes here. how else does the blorbo learn if not by ritual torture by the writers. Lou is too good to not have back though. My god what a treasure.

end bucktommy endgame truther transmission

[princessfbi]

bucktommy + “come here”

Bucktommy

"Come here."

No matter how many times Tommy did it, Buck didn't think he'd ever get used to the slight thrill that rushed through him when Tommy's fingers tucked under his chin and lifted his head.

He just wished it was under different circumstances. The wide worry in the cobalt blue that Buck could've sworn were one eyelash bat away from sweeping him up like a hurricane turned icy and hard in an instant. Fury rippled through Tommy's expression as his movements turned stilted and uncompromising, shifting Buck's chin further up and to the side so he could get a better view of the bruises. The same bruises he'd been hoping to put off from showing his boyfriend for as long as possible.

But after three months of going slow before becoming official, there wasn't much Buck could hide from his boyfriend these days.

It was usually something he loved. Tommy made him feel seen in a way he didn't know he wanted to be seen until one night in his kitchen during quiet confessions and a similar instance of Tommy's fingers tucked under his chin.

Tommy wasn't kissing him then though. In fact, besides the firm weight of his fingers, he looked almost... devastated. Resigned.

"He did this to you?" It was a question even if Tommy didn't say it like it was. Buck pulled away from the prop of Tommy's fingers and ducked his chin down as he cut his eyes to the floor.

"It's not a big deal." He tried to step back so the lie wouldn't land on Tommy and stain him too. But Tommy's hands, his big beautiful hands, curled over his waist and pulled him back to him.

"Evan!" Tommy's eyes flashed with something Buck couldn't quite catch but that was probably because he was still too busy being starstruck by the way Tommy said his name.

He loved how Tommy said his name. Like it mattered. Like it was important. The only other people who ever managed to handle the weight of his name without the normal strain had been Maddie and Eddie and they had witnessed to all the ways life had added more pressure to the load.

Tommy said his name like it was effortless.

Still, Tommy sounded upset and that was the last thing he wanted to do so he shook his head and met his gaze again.

"It's really nothing. I should've been watching where the hose line was."

Tommy's brow arched and Buck could see he didn't believe him. "The hose line? Seriously?"

Buck leaned into Tommy's hold and settled his hands on his chest, rubbing up and down so Tommy knew that Buck was fine. Really. He was fine.

"I clipped my face on an open compartment door. Hen checked me out. Nothing's broken. I promise that I'm fine. It's just a little bruise. It's nothing I can't handle."

Anger flared in Tommy's expression again as his jaw ticked. "You shouldn't have to."

And no, he shouldn't. Buck should have been coming home from a shift where his muscles were sore but his heart and stomach were full from another shift in the greatest job he'd ever had where Bobby was his captain and they had family dinners that didn't feel like hostage situations.

But everything would get fixed. Bobby would figure how to get back to his team and they would be waiting for him. He had to believe that.

Buck thought about pretending like he didn't see exactly what had taken root in Tommy's worry. But Tommy wasn't the only one who could see things other's couldn't.

"Baby," Buck said as he cupped his cheek. "You got out."

"He's doing this to you because of me." Tommy bit out.

"He's doing this because we aren't scared of him." Buck corrected. "None of us are."

They'd all been practically daring Gerrard to suspend them. Hen had been the first to point out how it wouldn't be so easy to get rid of them now that the chief had made a media frenzy of their crew. Gerrard may have been in charge but they didn't bend like they used to under the sharp oppression of his command. They clashed into a bruising, straining stalemate that didn't have an end date anytime soon.

But the team would hold. It's what Bobby would've wanted.

That didn't mean Gerrard didn't make their life a living hell.

Tommy frowned as he let out a long breath from his nose, his hands coming up to circle Buck's wrists so he could kiss the bolt of his palms.

"Ice," Tommy said decisively. "You need ice so I can kiss you properly."

Buck grinned despite the pain that pulsed along his cheek where he was sure the purpling bruise looked worse than it was.

Gerrard could say or do whatever he wanted to Buck. It wouldn't change the fact that, at the end of the day, Buck had Tommy to come home to and could kiss wherever he wanted. And Buck would do whatever it took to keep Tommy away from the dark cloud that was his former boss. The same boss who made him so afraid to be seen that he'd hid for years.

Buck would take a million bruises to the face before he ever let that happen.

[lives-in-midgard]

Love Confession

Pairing: Eddie Diaz x reader

Summary: Since you and Eddie both work at the call center you started to have feelings for each other. You're both to nervous to tell the other one until there is an emergency and you were scared for each other.

Word Count: 1200

A/N: Thank you for the request! I hope you like it. @beaubbdoll 🫶

Divider made by @firefly-graphics

911 Masterlist | Main Masterlist

The day started as normal as always. After you woke up you made yourself ready for the day and waited for Eddie to pick you up. You made some coffee for the both of you and poured it into a to-go cup. After a while he arrived outside of your apartment and you walked to his car. You opened the door and sat down on the passenger seat.

“Good morning Eddie, here is your coffee.” You said and handed him the coffee with a smile.

“Thanks, you’re an angel.” Eddie said and smiled back at you.

Since Eddie started working at the call center like you, you’ve gotten closer to each other. When he started working there, you already knew him a bit because you’re very close to Maddie and also Buck. The first time you met Eddie was at Maddie’s birthday party that Buck planned for her. You talked to Buck and then he introduced you to Eddie. You talked for a while and later when everyone was dancing, Eddie asked you to dance with him. And that’s how your friendship began, well not only your friendship because when Eddie started working at the call center, you started to have feelings for him. What you didn’t know was that he feels the exact same feelings for you.

You started spending more time together, you mostly spent your breaks together and when Eddie knew that you didn’t live far away from him, he asked you if you want to drive to work with him. Then you started having this routine where he picks you up. Later you would have your break together and talk about all kind of things. Like the calls you had or what he did, Eddie also told you something about Christopher and you told him something about your life. You can tell Eddie everything and always count on him.

Eddie started wondering if you feel the same way and if he should tell you about his feelings, but he was afraid of Christopher’s reaction and Eddie didn’t want to ruin this friendship you two had. In the short time you’ve known each other, you’ve become a very important person to him. He enjoys your company and loves talking to you. He can’t lose this friendship.

“Eddie, you okay?” You asked him. You were at work and walked past his office, so you thought you would quickly check on him. But when you opened the door, he looked nervous.

“Yeah, everything is okay don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” You asked and he nodded, but actually Eddie was nervous because he was thinking about you and how he should tell you about his feelings. Buck told him that he should tell you, but Eddie is still nervous and not sure.

“Okay, then I’ll go back to work. See you.”

“See you.” Eddie said with a smile, and you walked back to your desk. You wondered if Eddie was okay, but you had to focus on the next call now. After a while, May and Claudette had a fight and Sue brought them into another room to talk. Then you answered a few calls, and everything was normal. You were focused on a call when suddenly an announcement came from Eddie. He said that there was a fire in the building. You tried to stay calm and listened to what Sue said. At that moment the fire wasn’t that bad so you could stay there and take a few more calls, but after a while the others started to leave. You noticed that it was getting warmer and had to think about Eddie and hoped that he was okay. You, Linda and Josh were the last ones left at the call center. You still had an important call and had to finish it. After you all finished the calls, you made your way out of the building. As you walked outside you saw the fire through a door and began to walk faster.

When you all finally made it out of the building, you walked over to Sue and talked to her. While looking at the call center that was now in flames, you began to wonder how Eddie was doing and if he was okay. With every minute that passed you became more nervous. What if Eddie get’s hurt and you don’t get the chance to talk to him again. You should have told him about your feelings for him…hopefully it’s not too late. But Eddie is a good firefighter and has his team with him, he’ll make it out there, you thought, trying to stay positive.

A while later the firefighters came running out of the building. You saw Buck and then finally Eddie. You started to smile and when Eddie spotted you, he smiled back at you. He went to the fire truck, put his helmet and jacked there and then came over to you.

“I’m so glad your save.” You said when Eddie stood in front of you.

“I could say the same thing to you.” Eddie said and looked at your face, then over your body to see if you had any injuries.

“I was so nervous when we came out early and you were still in there.” Eddie confessed.

“I’m okay.”

“I’m really glad because…because there’s something that I wanted to tell you.”

“Oh, what is it?” You asked curious.

“It’s that I’m” Eddie began but then paused.

“This is even harder than I thought.” He said and ran his fingers through his hair.

“You don’t have to be nervous, Eddie.” He took a deep breath and then looked back at you.

“I’m in love with you. I have been for a while now. Every time you smile or laugh my day get’s better. Sometimes I miss you even though it’s only been a day or two that we haven’t seen each other. You make me feel things that…that I can’t even explain. It’s been so long since I’ve had feelings like this for someone. And I’m so sorry that I probably just ruined everything.” Eddie confessed and you were speechless. All this time you thought he didn’t feel the same but actually he does. You couldn’t believe it.

“You didn’t ruin anything.”

“I didn’t?” He asked.

“No, you didn’t. Because I feel the same way about you.”

“You do?” Eddie asked to make sure and you nodded.

“Then I guess you wouldn’t mind if I kissed you?” Eddie asked in a quiet voice.

“I actually would really like that.” You confessed and Eddie began to smile. Then he laid his hand on your cheek and pulled you into a soft kiss. When you turned away you smiled at each other.

“Finally.” Buck suddenly shouted and you both turned around. Eddie just rolled his eyes and looked back at you.

“Just ignore Buck.” Eddie said and you chuckled.

“Would you like to come to my apartment later?” You asked.

“Yeah, I would like that.” Eddie said with a smile on his face.

You’re really glad that Eddie feels the same for you and you can’t wait to go on your first date with him.

[buddierecs]

near death experience buddie fics

all of these are general audience, teen and up or not rated (no smut) make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

still by: brewrosemilk "for the first time, buck longs for a bullet wound to treat. dirt to dig at. a door to break through. something. there’s nothing. “your guess was correct, diaz,” the bomb technician tells them, as he gestures to the orange circle. “you’re standing on a large sensor plate, wired to a detonator. It’s incredibly important that you don’t move. don’t shift. when you put your weight down, it was like cocking a gun - you take your weight off, this thing is powerful enough to take the entire house with it." word count: 9.3k important tags: angst, humor, love confessions, first kiss all that we intent is scrawled in sand (and slips right through our hands) by: withmeornotatall "buck and eddie get trapped together, time is running out, and eddie doesn't want to die alone" word count: 6.9k important tags: earthquakes, major character injury, whump, hurt!eddie diaz, love confessions, first kiss, getting together take this heart, put yourself in it by: smilingbuckley "on his way to eddie's, buck gets into a car accident. he asks ravi, who happens to be a responder to the scene, to call eddie so he can confess his love before it's too late." word count: 1.8k important tags: car accidents, getting together, angst, whump, blood and injury, hurt!evan buckley, worried!eddie diaz across the stars by: ummrys "nasa astronaut evan buckley is presumed dead and abandoned on mars. despite everything, he lives to tell the tale." word count: 75k important tags: space au, based on 'the martian', pre-relationship, hurt!evan buckley, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, grief, slow burn, love confessions if i should fall by: elvensorceress "a accident leaves the love of buck's life dying in a hospital, leading him to evaluate the life he has, the life he wants, and where his heart belongs" word count: 23k important tags: injury recovery, angst, hurt/comfort, feelings realisation, getting together, pining!eddie diaz, demisexual!eddie diaz when your world is on fire by: smilingbuckley "the 118 responds to what should be a normal house fire only to find out that one of their own is stuck inside and believed to be dead." word count: 6k important tags: major character injury, hurt!eddie diaz, burns, explosions, established relationship, presumed dead, grief, hurt/comfort i love you (it's ruining my life) by: smilingbuckley "thinking they're about to die, eddie confesses his feelings for buck to chimney... except they don't die, and now he has to deal with chimney's inability to keep secrets" word count: 6.2k important tags: love confessions, secrets, misunderstandings, light angst, getting together, team as family, emotional hurt/comfort, pining!eddie diaz when we grow up, our shadows grows up too by: dylaesthetics "buck and maddie find themselves on the brink of death, but only one of them can make it out alive." word count: 7.9k important tags: protective sibling, feelings realisation, maddie buckley ships buddie, worried!chimney han, worried!eddie diaz something about sacrifice by: rogerzsteven "buck and eddie are trapped in a call, both of them being injured. buck does everything he can to save eddie, even if that means risking his own life." word count: 5.7k important tags: hurt/comfort, whump, hurt!eddie diaz, injury, angst, major character injury cliffhanger by: pansys_goth_gf "buck and eddie get into a car crash and wait for help to arrive." word count: 3.4k important tags: car accidents, major character injury, love confessions, pet names take in all the colors before they fade to gray by: roisindubh86 "eddie confronts buck, has a realization in the middle of an argument, and just when he thinks it can't get worse, he gets a call from texas that pulls the ground from beneath his feet, figuratively spoken. (the universe is watching. if the two firefighters don't get their act together, the next collapse will be the literal kind.)" word count: 37k important tags: pining!eddie diaz, feelings realisation, friends to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort, family feels, hurt!eddie diaz, getting together

[anders-holmvik]

can we talk about 8x06 confessions because id love to talk about confessions...

buddie analysis in this ep is well worn territory for good reason bc it was nuts so TRUST i agree w all of it but i wanna talk about eddie solo

first of all lets compare eddie's relationship with religion to bobby's:

in s1, when things become awkward in the confessional between bobby and father brian, bobby suggests that they move out into the pews and sit in the open, and that's where he confides in the priest man-to-man, not man-to-servant of god. and this is because bobby understands his transgressions, how the fire was technically not his fault because the building wasn't up to code, but it was also his fault because it was caused by his core issues (his addiction). Bobby's relationship with god is unwavering and he knows that god forgives unconditionally, but he craves human connection as forgiveness which is why he brings the priest out of the anonymity of the confessional box and out into the open pews. notably, once he opens up to buck chimney and hen about his past, he finds himself a lot lighter and no longer seeks the church for guidance as much even tho he remains explicitly religious. this is pushed further when he and athena bond over church, but it is essentially this human connection beyond his uniform, his "disguise," that starts his healing journey.

eddie, on the other hand, does not seek to connect personally with the priest. when things get awkward in the booth, he doesn't try to connect w him as a man because eddie is looking to be absolved by god. in fact, he pushes harder for the priest to reaffirm god's disappointment in him. he's been spiraling and cycling for so long that he doesn't know where else to turn other than the church. but then he hears from the priest that god provides unconditional love, and eddie doesn't accept that, so he leaves.

no one else around him knows that he's punishing himself in genuinely every aspect of his life so they can't absolve him (which probably wouldn't even make him start to forgive himself because neither chris nor his parents have and he feels like he wronged them personally) so it isn't until the priest, coming upon him accidentally outside of the church, not in uniform but dressed in white (like an angel) opens up to him man-to-man over the seemingly small punishment of choosing water over juice. and the priest is the only one who can connect to eddie in this way because he's also a servant by occupation.

and it's low hanging analysis but the obvious reference to the story of jesus and turning water into wine is invoked here, which is also a metaphor in the bible about balancing work and joy in life.

so eddie is absolved, not through some godly sign, but just by the priest coming to him as another human because god already forgave him because that's what He does. but only because it came unplanned from a Godly figure at a location OUTSIDE THE CHURCH does it work. and he takes off his disguise. This is crazy work because eddie considers himself to not be superstitious or religious yet is the deepest believer in signs and punishments …

the other thing this ep does is that even outside of eddie's storyline, a lot of it is About Eddie. The well call, the divorce call, the cold open call about being "haunted" by a dead woman. The well and divorce calls were for chimney and buck's developments respectively, but they're directly tied to eddie.

the well being the well #obvi but the divorce call first styling the wife like shannon, then featuring the man who sneezed (little outbursts) after telling lies, which resulted in him rupturing his sutures and spilling out. it's a metaphor for repression. i said that as a joke over on twitter a few days before the ep aired but then it actually rang true.. he tried to hold it in and still get away with lying, but it caught up to him and now he metaphorically can't take the truth back because its spilled out. CRAZY WORK. chad and andrew we may need to have words

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Tagged by @eddiebabygirldiaz for seven sentence Sunday! Here’s uhhhhh more than that from a buddietommy vacation threesome fic-

The day is hot enough that Buck is curled up like a bug on the dock between them. He’d stayed in the water longer than Tommy or Eddie had, and had swum out further than either of them, so when he’d crawled back up onto the old wood planks he’d chugged an entire water bottle and promptly passed out. Eddie glances down at his bare torso, just starting to get a little pink.

“Should probably get sunscreen on him again.”

Tommy snorts as he leans backwards, stretching out to grab the spray can. “And you’re worried you’ve forgotten how to be a dad.”

“Fuck off,” Eddie says as Buck, still asleep, makes a similar sound when Tommy mists him all over with cold sunscreen. “It’s been months, man, that’s so long for a kid, who knows what he’s even into now-”

“Minecraft, right?” Tommy says as he smooths his hand over a few places the sunscreen pooled on his boyfriend’s back. “Wasn’t he on a video call with you and Buck about it for like three hours on Friday? Something about- uh- command blocks?”

Eddie is mildly impressed Tommy remembers the word — maybe — because he certainly doesn’t. Buck had only been slightly better at following along than he had as they’d squinted at the probably impressive pixels on the laptop screen. “I don’t know, I just feel like…” Every morning, still, he wakes up and thinks he needs to get Chris’ breakfast started. Whole parts of his being are wired around taking care of his kid, but since he’s been gone Eddie has been trying — in fits and starts and most of the time guiltily — to figure out what the rest of him is for. It’s part of what got him into the whole mess in the first place, chasing after the dreams of a 19 year old who got those dreams from his parents. A nice wife (but they never liked her, did they) and a good job (but firefighting is too dangerous, isn’t it) and a picket fence (one closer to home, Eddie, you’ve gone too far away.) So he owed it to Chris, owed it to himself, to figure out what the fuck he actually wants, so he doesn’t keep twisting himself into knots and taking out everyone around him when the line breaks. He’s not sure he’s any closer to whatever that is — other than it’s unlikely to include a wife of any kind — but in the time he’s taken trying, what if other things got lost in the upheaval? “I keep thinking I’ll just- not remember to do something. Forget how field trip permissions slips work, or not know what shoe size he wears, or- I don’t know. Anything. I won’t pack his lunch and it won’t be the end of the world but he’ll be hungry that day.”

Tommy leans back on his palms and looks across at him, quiet and thoughtful for a few moments in that way he has, like he’s thinking through every possible response before he speaks. He is, maybe; he’d confessed to Eddie that he’d spoken too quickly when he was younger, is embarrassed about a lot of the dumb shit he’d said, so he tries to take his time with his words now. “Eddie. You took us up here this weekend to check and make sure this place is accessible to take your kid to this summer. And- I get that’s a big thing, a big gesture, and maybe you’re worried about messing up the small stuff, but… You’ve still got his favorite kind of jelly in the fridge that nobody else eats. You love him, and he knows that. You’re gonna do fine.” He shrugs. “And he’s almost fourteen, if you forget to hand him lunch he’s gonna let you know.”

Eddie huffs a small laugh. “Yeah, I guess he will.” He groans a little, shaking his head. “Fourteen years old, that’s fucking crazy. I don’t feel old enough for that to be true.”

Tommy rolls his neck so it audibly cracks. “Yeah, yeah, you whippersnapper.”

Eddie grins at him. “You feeling the exercise, old man? Need to go lay down?” He cackles and leans away as Tommy grabs the can and sprays a burst of sunscreen at him.

Between them Buck grunts at the commotion, and rolls towards Eddie. He presses his face into the meat of his bare side above his trunks, and wraps his long arms around his torso. Eddie glances up at Tommy, who just looks fondly amused. “Uh. Wrong guy, there, bud.”

Buck stills, and then pulls back a little to squint up at him. Eddie’s not particularly ticklish, but something like goosebump are shivering across the skin of his stomach where Buck’s forearm rests against him. He has to actively try not to shudder as Buck pulls back and rolls the other way, Eddie watching hypnotized as he gives Tommy the same treatment. Buck presses a little kiss onto Tommy’s hip, in the spot he had just been cuddled into on Eddie, and Eddie’s mouth goes dry.

Tommy lets out a little breath, and Eddie doesn’t think he’ll be able to use the sun as an excuse for how pink he’s gotten as his eyes snap up to the other man’s face. Except- he’d been expecting a raised eyebrow, a flat mouth, some visual indicator of disapproval, that this is one step Buckandeddie too far, that all the rest of their codependent lives have been fine, a platonic kind of care built over years of being there for each other through the worst of the worst, but now the uncomfortable answer to what Eddie wants, the uncomfortable answer he’s been trying to avoid because it's something he cannot have, has been found out and the messy insides of him will have once again ruined something good. But what he finds is a tiny little smile and heavy eyes that-

Well, they don’t look disapproving in the slightest.

“You guys hungry?” Buck mutters, words muffled by Tommy’s skin. “We should go start the grill.”

Tommy’s little smile gets wide and lazy, eyes still stuck on Eddie. “I could eat,” he says.

Tagging @iinryer @shitouttabuck @butchdiaz @chronicowboy @homerforsure @rewritetheending @bigfootsmom if you have anything you want to share!

[unhingedangstaddict]

Currently working on my own fix-it fic but man this shit is harder than I thought it'd be- I keep crying and then getting distracted reading other fix-it fics. Thought I'd share this snippet to hopefully motivate myself to keep going???

Hen was starting to wonder if maybe Tommy was out for a run when she heard a faint ‘oh shit’ from inside the house. She banged on the door again. “Come on Kinard! I know you’re in there!” She called out. If Tommy’s neighbors thought she was crazy, oh well, too bad. Hen really didn’t care.

Finally the door was opened by Tommy. His hair was a mess- sticking up as though he’d been running his hands through it far too much-, he had deep dark bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, his eyes were puffy from crying, and frankly, he looked like shit. “What do you want, Hen?” Tommy rasped. Whether his voice was hoarse due to dehydration or yelling and/or crying was unclear.

“To talk about what happened last night.” Hen crossed her arms.

“You mean you’re here to yell at me for what I did?" Tommy guessed. He hadn't forgotten the thinly veiled shovel talk from Hen and Karen months back at the medal ceremony- he wasn't surprised Hen was here now. “Trust me I hate myself for it enough. There’s nothing you can say that I haven’t already thought about myself.”

“No. I’m here to try and understand what even happened. According to Eddie, Buck wasn’t making very much sense last night. Eddie would’ve come himself to check on you but he’s got Buck right now. Eddie’s worried about you and frankly, I am too.”

Tommy sighed deeply and stepped aside to let Hen into the house.

Soon they were sitting at Tommy’s kitchen table with mugs of coffee in hand.

“So are you gonna tell me what happened or are you just gonna keep having that staring contest with your coffee?” Hen questioned.

“He asked me to move in with him.” Tommy admitted quietly.

“Okay,” Hen said slowly, waiting for Tommy to explain further why he was upset by it. Beyond the obvious matter of Buck leasing his loft apartment and Tommy owning his house, Hen wasn’t sure what the issue was.

“For a split second, I thought about saying yes.” Tommy confessed. “Then I returned to reality and realized I had to end it.”

“But why?” Hen questioned.

“Even if it was only for a second, Hen, I was ready to, what? Sell my house and more than half my stuff to move in with him? I’m not even mad about that part- I’m upset with myself for considering it. I’ve been in Evan’s position before, first gay relationship, lovesick, you think it’s gonna last forever. And I’ve been the first for guys before too. Like I told Evan last night, I know how it ends. And I guess I’d rather break my own heart than wait around for Evan to do it.”

“If you’ve been so sure all this time that it could never work, why did it take until now for you to call things off?” Hen questioned.

“I think from the start I knew I was playing with fire. After the last guy I was a first for, I told myself I wasn’t going to do it anymore. Then I met Evan, and he was just so magnetic, I couldn’t stay away even if I wanted to. I couldn't say no to him. I think I always knew my heart would get broken, and I guess I was okay with that all this time, until last night when I realized I love him, and I knew I had to cut myself off before I reached a point of no return.” Tommy explained. “I mean, I’m a fucking a mess right now and I was the one who called it off. I don’t know if I would’ve been able to survive him ending it.”

“Did you really just figure out last night that you love him?” Hen asked.

“I guess I sorta loved him from the start but last night was different, Hen. I’m in love with him, like well and truly love him, in a way I’ve never felt before, about anyone.” Tears filled Tommy’s eyes. “And I’m just his first. And as badly as I want it, I know I don’t get to be his last.”

“What makes you so sure you can’t be his last?” Hen wondered.

“Because I’m not the forever guy." Tommy shrugged slightly as a tear finally escaped and slid down his cheek. "At best I’m the close-to-but-never-quite-enough guy."

[mvltisstuff]

Hey how are you? I hope all is well. I was wondering if you could do a request where everyone in the 118 fully forgets the readers birthday except for Buck and the reader is upset because she always makes to at least say happy birthday to someone when their birthday comes.Buck is also in love with the reader and after work he goes to her apartment to wish her happy birthday and confess his feelings. (They both are in love with each other) He ends up cheering up the reader and spends the night (if its not too much can you add smut with fluff afterwards)

I'm sorry this is so long and Thank you!

pity party - e.b **

summary: request :)

evan buckley x reader

gif from @evanbuckleydaily

a/n: warning for smut toward the end, but no where else! hope you enjoy bc birthdays are so special to me 🩶

even as a little girl, y/n loved her birthdays. waking up to the smell of sweet pancakes and seeing her friends made her ecstatic. birthdays usually get sadder by the year, as you inch closer and closer to being a senior, but y/n always took it as a celebration. why wouldn’t you celebrate your life? she’s been so happy since she came to la, and it’s a way to appreciate herself from all she’s dealt with.

the morning sun shone through her windows, leaving an orange color on her bedsheets. her work alarm yanked her out of her slumber. today, she was excited to wake up, maybe too excited. she did her hair as nice as she could and even put on a little bit of makeup for the day. she wanted to feel good on her birthday, so she let herself. yeah, she’s a firefighter, but a cute little up do was never the wrong way to go. normally, she just threw it in a ponytail, but today, she did a pretty low bun and added in a few braids. she grabbed her stuff, walking out the door with the bright smile on her face. it was plastered on there until she got to the station. everyone noticed that she was obscurely happy. not to say she wasn’t normally happy, but there was a glow to her that day.

she pranced into the locker rooms, passing hen and chimney on her way in. she pulled on her uniform and made her way out, starting to help organize the engines. “hey, y/n! what’s going on?” eddie says first. she gives him a nice smile before responding kindly. she’s a little taken aback at the lack of response from her birthday, but she moves on. it wasn’t until hen, chimney, and even her other coworkers didn’t say a thing.

maybe something was planned? a surprise? they could just be busy with work and home, too. they knew her birthday was coming up, and they knew when it was, so she was a bit thrown off. she didn’t want to be too selfish, though. the whole station doesn’t revolve on her terms. she mindlessly thought that they’d say something eventually, maybe they just had other things to worry about them.

y/n was on top of one of the trucks, rolling out and organizing the hoses on top. she didn’t have anyone else up there to help, but she was fine on her own. she did wish she had someone to talk to, especially on her birthday, but it was fine. suddenly, the back of the ladder shook a bit, revealing a thrilled buck who pranced to the top. “happy birthday, y/n!” he beamed, slipping over with his arms out as he embraced her.

“thanks, buck,” she says, returning the smile and graciousness he gave her.

“are you ok? you were so excited for today!”

“yeah! yeah, i’m fine! just thinking about today, that’s all.”

“well, i’m gonna make you have a good day, whether you like it or not.”

“ok, ok,” she curls her mouth back into a grin. “just don’t mention too much about it, i don’t want it to be too big of a deal.”

“i get it, totally,” he replies, starting to help her drag up the long hoses.

the alarm echoed through the whole station, and the team piled into the truck after putting on their gear. y/n sat on the end, staring out the window in slight disappointment about how her day was going. was she being childish? no, not at all, but her selflessness didn’t let her realize that.

“y/n, what’s got you looking all fancy all of a sudden?” chimney asks.

“hot date?” hen adds in. y/n continues to just look out the window, as buck gives his friends a confused look. she understands it now, they probably forgot or didn’t care enough. it hurt especially because they were her family. she came here to la, and she found her best friends who melted into more. they spent almost every day together, so she wanted a little more affection. but, there wasn’t anything she could do about it. she didn’t want to say anything because of tension, and they had enough work to do.

“just with myself,” y/n laughs, covering up her secretly hurt feelings.

“i think you look pretty, y/n!” buck says, shouting over the headphones he has in. she laughs at his volume, but he’s been treating her the best.

y/n was so in love with buck, and he was so in love with her. there’s no other way to put it. work would be a whole different experience without the other. they’re like two peas in a pod and are finishing each others sentences. when you think of silly phrases and metaphors for love, they are every single one.

“alright, lover boy,” chim teases before gazing out his own window.

“c’mon, guys, leave them alone,” bobby turns his head around to take some of the spotlight off y/n and buck. buck doesn’t think anything of it, somehow. he figures they already said something to her, so nothing came across as out of the ordinary to him.

they arrived to a scene, solving the calamity and issues that were sparked with the fire. it was quick, they do it every single day, so they were prepared and there were several hands on deck. multiple calls rolled in throughout the day between small intervals, and all of them passed without the two small words to y/n. none of them cared to ask, or really know anything. she had been painfully obviously distant that day, but everyone was just fooling around and talking about whatever, so they didn’t notice. the sun had finally set, and still, nothing. her day that was supposed to be great was pretty much over, and she felt like nothing happened. y/n didn’t expect too much, but she deserved more than what she got. at the end of the day, however, she still had buck. he was there the whole day by her side, making her crack smiles and break out in laughter, which was his favorite music. y/n decided to jump in the shower, wash off any extra negativity from the day off so she could let it all go. buck walked in the kitchen with everyone else.

“alright, y/n’s showering,” he begins. “bobby! where’d you put the cake and the candles?”

“buck, your birthdays a bit far away, don’t you think?”

“h-huh? no, it’s for…” buck starts to put the pieces together. there is no cake, decorations, or candles for her. they didn’t bother to remember or put the time in for someone who cares so deeply for them. “you guys remember, right?”

“remember?” eddie questions, confusion forming in the room at bucks upset.

“oh my god, that’s why she’s been acting different. it’s her birthday, you idiots! she’s been looking forward to this the whole month, and we don’t have anything for her!”

“shit, buck,” hen whispers. “it completely slipped my mind.”

“me too, i’ve been out with maddie a lot and i must��ve forgotten how soon it was,” chimney responded. buck looks around for any answers he can get, only to be confronted by looks of self pity and sulk.

“really? really,” buck argues. “have you guys completely lost it? chim, on your birthday she planned a whole party in her small apartment for you. bobby, for you, she spent hours with athena making sure it would be perfect. same with you, hen! eddie, she made sure all of us were there for you and had gifts for you to make you smile. she did all of this to make you guys feel loved. it’s one day a year, and she deserves it just as much as you all did.”

the team shared disheartened faces to each other, realizing what they’d done to y/n. she was without a doubt, the sweetest person at the station. she makes every single day a memorable one, especially the birthdays of her best friends. they tried to come up with reasonable answers as to why they didn’t remember, but none of them were justifiable. so, they waited for y/n to come out of the locker rooms, but she didn’t. her shift was ending, so she just went home. there wasn’t any time to plan anything, and she knew nothing was going on. buck can’t keep a secret if his life depended on it.

they sat there in nothing but silence until bucks phone vibrated in his back pocket. he saw y/n’s name lighten the screen, revealing a dispirited text from her.

“hey, just wanted to let you know that i already left, but i wanted to say thank you for everything today. this day would’ve sucked without you <3”

buck sighed after he read the last word, seeing the little heart at the end of it. “well, she already left, so,” buck gets up out of his seat, going to change into his own clothes. he already knows what he has to do, so he rushes over to the nearest bakery, the only one that’s open late at this time.

the owners are just about to close up, when buck runs in like a lunatic. “wait! hold on, please?”

“sir, we’re just about to close,” the woman says, walking outside the counter.

“i know, and i’ll give you a good tip, i swear. i need you to just write a name on his cake, please. you’d make a girls day, i’ll pay extra!”

“im sorry, but everything’s been put away for the night.”

buck groans, “fine, can i just buy these candles and this small thing of icing?” afterwards, buck sits in his car and under the happy birthday, scribbles in a messy y/n. it’s not perfect, but it doesn’t matter if it’ll make her happy.

when y/n arrives home, she immediately just goes to sit on her couch. she flips on the tv, whipping a blanket around her shoulders. she plays an old episode of the office, the one where it’s kelly’s birthday. it’s always one that makes her laugh, and why not just rub it more in her face that everyone forgot? she intently watched the episode, wallowing in let down. it was later than normal for her to be up, but she let it slide. it was almost the midnight, so she figured why not just stay up?

the harsh knocking on her door zoned her mind out of the show, standing up and opening the door slowly. her hair was still done, a little messy but still beautiful to buck. she made eye contact with the enchanting soul in front of her, smiling instantly at the sight of a little cake with candles that weren’t lit. “what are you doing here?”

“i���m not going to let you spend the rest of the night alone, not after the day you’ve had,” he steps inside the apartment, and she takes the cake from his hands.

“listen it’s fine, you didn’t have to do this.”

“you’re right, i didn’t, but i wanted to. there’s nothing i wanted more than to make you feel loved today. i don’t know what’s gotten into everyone, but you never deserve something like that. you’re my favorite person there, y/n, and i’d do-“

she cuts his frantic speech off by stepping in closer, connecting their lips for the first time. he’s a little surprised, but silently celebrating in his head. he leans in closer to her, placing his hands on her hips and pulling her into him. “thank you, buck.” she says, and he smiles against her lips.

“you know i love you, right?”

“good,” she smiles from ear to ear. “because i love you, too.”

**

buck doesn’t let himself hear another word from her before he presses his lips against hers again. whatever they had before was forgotten, because it had become more in a flash. he’s loved her for years, but he needed her to know now. he places his hands on the back of her thighs, picking her up and landing on the couch. he’s sitting between her legs, making out with y/n continuously until she pulls apart. she begins to undo her jean buttons, and he starts to take off her shirt. she does the same, gripping the seam and pulling it off to reveal his fit body. she’s seen it before, but in this moment, it sends waves of arousal to her core. buck starts rubbing her through her underwear as quiet moans are released from y/n. “buck,”

“yeah?”

“whatever you’re about to do, don’t stop.”

buck takes that as a sign to continue, letting her stand up to slide herself out of the rest of her garments, as he strips to his boxers. his eyes sprint up and down y/n’s body, admiring every single part of it before he grabs her by the hips and yanks her in. she laughs out as he starts to plant kisses to his her stomach, making his way up to her breasts, loving on each one.

he’s suddenly pushed back on the couch, y/n’s hands making contact with his shoulders. he’s leaned back against the couch, and y/n peels off his boxers, revealing his dick, hard for her. she starts to wrap her hand around it, pumping it up and down as he groans out. “oh, don’t do this to me, y/n.”

“fine,” she smirks, leaning her leg on the couch and swinging her other one over. bucks hands make his way up to her breasts, squeezing them gently before connecting his mouth to them again like a magnet. she painfully grinds against his erection, causing him to whine from the teasing. it’s not until she runs his tip down her slit, and pushes his tip into her that they moan simultaneously. she sinks down, taking his entire length in her pussy. “oh, fuck, baby.”

“my god, y/n,” he notices y/n trying to muffle her moans, biting on her lip as she bounces up and down on his dick. “hey, don’t try and be quiet, let me hear those pretty moans.”

she starts bringing herself up and down faster than before, letting herself cry out sharp moans at the warm feeling in her abdomen. bucks hands make contact with her tits again, fondling them and pinching her nipples as she continues to ride him. one of her hands is gripping his shoulder, the other sinks down to rub circles on her clit. buck starts to get that familiar feeling back before announcing, “y/n, i’m gonna fucking come.”

“i know, baby, me too,” she pants out, breathless from the repeated actions on his dick. “come for me, buck.”

buck frees a loud moan from his lips when pulling himself out of y/n, releasing all over her stomach as her legs twitch above him. her mouth gapes open as her fingers reach down to her stomach before placing two in her mouth. buck swears he’s died and gone to heaven at the sight of the sexiest woman he’s ever seen.

“got you speechless, huh?”

“h-holy shit, y/n,” buck stutters out. “that was fuckin’- oh my god.”

y/n giggles at his chaotic words, and she places her forehead against his chest, laughing. “thank you. for everything,” she remarks, picking her head up to look at him with her chin on his chest.

“i’d do anything for you. happy birthday.”

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

still the bone remembers, still it wants | chapter 5/9 | 16k | read on ao3

The thing is, wanting has always been easy.

The thing is, wanting has always been so hard.

or, eddie goes to therapy and learns how to want. buck helps.

snippet:

Buck’s door is actually quite fascinating.

Lots of whirls in the wood. Identifiable grains that have been stained. Dark enough that it looks smooth at first glance, but in actuality there’s a lot of detail that goes unnoticed.

Eddie has spent a truly embarrassing amount of time studying this fucking door.

Turns out healing from your traumas and learning to stop hating yourself doesn’t completely eradicate the anxiety that curdles in your gut at the thought of confronting the man you love and confessing your feelings after apologizing for essentially rejecting him.

Bad things still exist and currently all those bad things are flaring bright and shiny through Eddie’s mind like some kind of twisted movie reel. A silver screen of how horribly everything can go.

Buck could refuse to see him and slam the door in his face. Buck could hear Eddie out but ultimately decide he doesn’t want to deal with the mess being with Eddie will entail. Buck could scream and yell and whittle Eddie down into nothing. Buck could actually feel nothing about what happened between them and tell Eddie they are better off as friends.

Eddie is catastrophizing, he knows it. And he wishes he could leave that to Buck because holy fuck this is awful. He hates feeling so unconfident. He hates lingering over a threshold with little idea of which way to go. He hates assuming the worst when logically he knows most of those things are unlikely.

read the rest on ao3

[30somethingautisticteacher]

Toasts

As Buck sat at the sweetheart table, holding Tommy's hand, he couldn't believe it. He was married. He had a husband. If someone had told 25-year-old Buck this would happen, he would've thought they were crazy. But here he was, and he was enormously grateful for how things had turned out.

The music faded, and Buck saw Eddie approach the microphone. It was time for the toasts. His best friend cleared his throat nervously.

"Hey, uh, hi everyone. Eddie Diaz here, best man for Buck over there." Eddie gestured towards the newlyweds with a warm smile. "When I first met Buck, I became immediately aware of his competitive streak. From my first day at the firehouse, everything was a contest. We moved past that pretty quickly and became fast friends, but I always remembered that about him."

Eddie paused, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Fast forward five years, and suddenly I'm seeing that competitiveness again because I've made a new friend, Tommy. Initially, I thought it was about me—that Buck was afraid Tommy would put a rift in our friendship. Turns out, that wasn't the case at all." He chuckled. "He just had the hots for the guy. Not that he knew it at the time, of course.

Eddie grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Fun fact: I was actually at Buck and Tommy's first date."

"Oh no, you don't," Buck piped up, his face flushing. "You are not telling that story."

Tommy leaned in, planting a gentle kiss on Buck's cheek. "It's okay, honey. You'll always be my favorite ally." Buck groaned, burying his face in his hands as laughter rippled through the audience.

Eddie chuckled, continuing his speech. "As I was saying, Buck screwed up their first date pretty spectacularly. A few days later, he came out to me and confessed that he couldn't stop thinking about Tommy."

Eddie's voice softened, a fond smile playing on his lips. "I had never seen him like that before. His face was the color of his birthmark when he told me." The audience erupted in laughter, and Buck playfully rolled his eyes, his arm tightening around Tommy's waist.

"I encouraged him to reach out to Tommy and ask for a second chance," Eddie continued, gesturing towards the newlyweds. "And well, we all know how that turned out."

Eddie's gaze swept across the room, taking in the smiling faces of their friends and family. "You know, watching these two fall in love has been quite the journey. Buck went from being completely oblivious about his feelings to head over heels in a matter of weeks. And Tommy," Eddie continued, "you've been incredibly patient with our lovable idiot here."

Buck pretended to look offended, but couldn't hide his grin as Tommy squeezed his hand affectionately.

"But in all seriousness," Eddie's tone grew more earnest, "I've never seen two people more perfectly suited for each other. Buck, you've grown so much, and Tommy, you've been an amazing addition to our family. You balance each other out in ways I never thought possible."

He raised his glass, prompting others to do the same. "To Buck and Tommy - may your love continue to grow, your adventures never end, and may you always have each other's backs. Congratulations, guys. We love you both."

As the room erupted in cheers and the clinking of glasses, Buck stood up, pulling Eddie into a tight hug. Tommy joined them, his eyes watering.

As Eddie stepped back from the microphone, Chimney stood up, adjusting his tie with a mischievous grin. He approached the mic, clearing his throat dramatically.

"Make way for best man number two—or should I say the better man?" Chimney quipped, eliciting chuckles from the audience. "Howard Han here, but people call me Chimney. I'm Buck's brother-in-law and Tommy's best man. And I'm going to be honest with you all," he paused for effect, scanning the room, "I am the reason you're all here today."

Chimney leaned into the microphone, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "See, I saved good old Tommy's life when he was working at the 118. Pulled him out of an exploding building, if you can believe it." He paused as murmurs of appreciation rippled through the crowd.

"And then, two years ago," Chimney continued, gesturing dramatically, "I introduced him to the love of his life." He glanced at Buck and Tommy, who were listening intently, hands intertwined. "Not that I expected that, of course. I mean, who could have predicted these two would end up here?"

Chimney's voice softened, his expression becoming more sincere. "Certainly not me, but I will say I am so proud of these two and the effort they've put into their relationship. They truly would do anything for each other."

He paused, his gaze sweeping over to Buck and Tommy, who were looking at each other with adoration. "And let me tell you, they're fabulous uncles to my little girl." Chimney's eyes twinkled mischievously. "I think she likes them more than me, to be honest."

This elicited a wave of laughter from the audience. Maddie, sitting nearby, playfully rolled her eyes at her husband's joke.

Chimney's expression turned nostalgic. "You know, I'm so glad we're all here celebrating their wedding in this beautiful venue instead of, say, a hospital room." He chuckled, shaking his head. "Unlike my own wedding, which, as some of you may remember, took place in a hospital because I had encephalitis."

The crowd murmured in recognition, some laughing softly at the memory. Maddie caught Chimney's eye and smiled.

Chimney's eyes twinkled with amusement. "But here's a fun fact for you all," he continued. "My wedding night is also the night I found out about Buck and Tommy." He gestured towards the newlyweds. "There I was, just married, laying in a hospital, when Tommy walks in wearing his turnouts, fresh from fighting a wildfire. And right behind him? Our boy Buck, face covered in soot."

Buck buried his face in his hands, clearly embarrassed but laughing, while Tommy rubbed his back soothingly, grinning at the memory.

"Let's just say," Chimney added with a wink, "there was no doubt what these two had been up to. Talk about making an entrance!"

The audience erupted in laughter, and even Buck peeked out from behind his hands.

"So in a way," Chimney mused, "my wedding night was the unofficial debut of their relationship. Talk about a two-for-one deal!"

Chimney's expression softened, his tone becoming more sincere. "Seriously though, I'm so happy for these two." He looked directly at Buck and Tommy, his eyes filled with genuine affection. "You guys have been through so much together, and your love has only grown stronger."

He raised his glass, prompting the guests to do the same. "I can't wait to see what the future holds for you both. Your dedication to each other is truly inspiring."

With a warm smile and a hint of his characteristic humor, Chimney concluded, "Congratulations to the Kinards. Can't wait to see what the future holds. Let's just hope it involves fewer hospital visits and more actual dates. Cheers!"

The room erupted in laughter and applause as guests clinked their glasses. Buck and Tommy exchanged amused glances before standing up, visibly moved, to embrace Chimney in a tight hug.

Chimney sat down to enthusiastic applause. Buck stood up, taking Tommy's hand as they approached the microphone together. Buck's face was glowing with happiness as he began to speak.

"Last speech, I promise," Buck said, grinning at the guests. "My husband and I," he paused, beaming at the word, "really want to thank you all for being here."

Tommy leaned in, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Even though we know you're really here just for the free booze."

Buck snorted, struggling to contain his laughter. He shot Tommy an adoring look before turning back to their guests, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "He's not wrong, you know."

The audience erupted in laughter, clearly enjoying the couple's playful banter.

Buck's expression softened as he continued, his voice filled with sincerity. "I just want to say that I'm so grateful for all the people who have supported us along the way, and I have never been happier." He squeezed Tommy's hand, his eyes shining with emotion.

Tommy cleared his throat, a hint of his usual dry humor in his voice. "Well, as the resident cynic, I should probably balance out all this sunshine," he started, gesturing towards Buck with a fond smile. "You know, I was always a romantic comedy fan who didn't actually believe in romance. Ironic, right?"

He paused, his expression growing more serious. "But the truth is, being with Evan has made me believe in all those cheesy things I used to roll my eyes at. I never thought I'd be standing here, married to someone who embodies pure joy. But here I am, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Tommy looked at Buck, his typically guarded expression softening. "You've made me a believer, Ev. Thank you for that."

Buck, still beaming, turned back to the guests. "Alright, everyone. We've kept you long enough with all this sappy stuff. It's time to eat, dance, and enjoy each other's company!"

Tommy leaned into the microphone, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Just a heads up, ladies - there's no bouquet toss tonight. But hey, that's what you get when you have two grooms."

He paused for effect, then added with a smirk, "Or should I say, one groom and one groomzilla." Tommy pointed playfully at Buck, eliciting laughter from the crowd.

Buck snorted, struggling to contain his own laughter as he playfully nudged Tommy's shoulder. "Hey!"

The room erupted in laughter and applause, with several guests shouting good-natured comments back at the couple. As they made their way back to their seats, hand in hand, the DJ started up the music, signaling the beginning of the celebration.

[lover-of-mine]

Hi, I put this anonymous so it would let me ask from my 911 account instead of my main account. I wanted to ask a question about your yellow and blue color code post.

"They're also in the wrong colors during the will reveal, which is interesting if they follow through it this particular symbolism the way I'm expecting them to."

Do you think the colors are wrong or connected in any way with the original intention of bringing both Eddie and Buck out of the closet post 4.13 and 4.14? Further, do you think that they also originally intended Eddie to come out first in season 7 may have played a role in the wrong colors?

Asking from @justchillandshipit

link to the meta in question

Hi, darling! Yes for the first one, not exactly for the second one. They have been playing with Buck and Eddie and blue and yellow in the background since under pressure, so the will reveal is deliberately blue and yellow and I believe it is because of the romantic connotations surrounding the aborted love confession that conversation is.

I was actually thinking about making a post about this, so thank you, because during the will reveal Buck is in a yellow that's close to the shade I expect Eddie to reach. They are basically the same color.

That's not true for the blue, but I believe that the choice to make Buck's blue closer to the color of Oliver's eyes to make that particular shot as harmonic as it is affected the shade and made it a bit more teal than expected, because it is close to the blue Buck is wearing during 706, that is the second part of Buck's coming out.

So I believe they are intentionally switched during the will reveal, because while that is a major movement, it's not the climax of the situation, is the setup. They aren't really saying what they need to get together. So I think the plan has always been Buck as blue and Eddie as yellow.

I also think that because Buck in general is a lot more blue than Eddie, so the color feels a lot more natural on Buck than it does on Eddie. There's also the way that they use that burnt yellow color with Buck. Especially the therapy connotations, I feel like it was supposed to be used as a discovery color, but not as the destination color, so Buck would reach the blue anyway, just through a different route.

And if we consider the locker room scene as something that stayed the way they intended when the plan was for Eddie to come out first, they could've made Buck yellow anyway, because the way they used the sun on Eddie could've easily been done with Buck, and he's already yellow in this context, they could've just kept building on it. They decided against it, and I think it's because that was never something they wanted to go that way.

But actually my major proof here, is actually the couch theory dinner in 601. Because assuming a bunch of things, including that they knew s6 was gonna be their last season with fox, and that they were gonna try and force fox to let them get them together before the show ended and they changed plans once abc bought the show and gave them the space to do it with the full glory, I feel like Buck's blueish grey and Eddie's yellowish cream are on purpose and the base of the beginning of the color theory with them, especially because all signs of the couch pointed to Eddie.

I feel like if they were allowed to do what they wanted with s6 with the threat of cancelation but without someone on fox telling them they couldn't, buddie would move to the brighter color together, since there would be no time for them to do two separate queer arcs. In this world, the lighting actually triggers something, and they get together during the s6 finale, which would be the series finale, bringing the conclusion to this conversation during the closing arc.

But the switch to abc allowed them to expand on that more, and now we are here. I think the colors are supposed to be switched while they are on the wrong path, and that was always the plan.

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[justchillandshipit]

Let's talk about this moment-the moment before Eddie tells Buck that he has arranged for him to be Chris's guardian. (This is one possible interpretation of what is happening here, and it is how I read the start of the scene. If they make Eddie's coming out canon and depending on how they label the character, I hope we get to see if this interpretation is correct. This is a gay-coded reading of Eddie, one in which he is aware of his sexuality, but is for whatever reason suppressing it.)

At the beginning of the scene, Eddie sits on the edge of the hospital bed, waiting for Buck to come back. It is implied that off camera, Buck is taking care of getting him discharged. It isn't a long shot, so you have to be paying attention to the screen to see it. My interpretation is that Eddie is lost in his thoughts, thinking about what he is going to say to Buck.

I'm reading a lot in this small shot. I think there is some fear in his facial expression, but there is some sadness as well. Eddie knows he is about to confess to something that happened over a year ago. He knows that confessing it is going to bring up more questions. He's preparing himself to try to deflect those questions, but he knows, at this moment, that he might not be able to deflect them. He knows that this one admission may force him to admit his feelings for Buck, and once that bell has been rung, there is no going back. He's about to admit to something that he is afraid will cost him their friendship. Eddie knows he doesn't have to tell Buck about the Will, but if he doesn't, then Buck will continue to be...Buck. He will continue to think of himself as expendable. Eddie would rather risk the friendship than see Buck do something that would take him out of this world. All of these things, I think, have been going through Eddie's head that whole morning, and at the start of the scene, he is lost in those thoughts and has to snap himself back to reality quick when Buck comes back into the room.

Looking at the scene from that perspective makes the rest of the scene so much more emotional to me. And the scene does play out with some of those questions coming up. Buck does ask why it took him a year to tell him about the Will. He does ask why tell him now? I've talked about how Eddie deflected that question in the comment section of various posts I've read, and I still see it the same way. Eddie simply did not answer the whole question. He confessed to why he was telling him the truth (So Buck would know that he isn't expendable) but not to why he did it or why he kept it a secret in the first place. (The fact that Eddie felt he had to hide it points to motives related to something else he is hiding. There really is no good reason for keeping it a secret.) And Buck, the guy who never saw his self-worth, was so distracted by the answer that he did get that he never realized that Eddie didn't answer the rest of the question.

The scene ended with Eddie telling Buck that he was wrong. I can't even imagine how the rest of the conversation went. At first, I thought Eddie got away with this because he deflected by using one of Buck's trigger pressure points, but then I realized this was actually the last episode of season four.

We now know that the creators/writers wanted to begin the process of taking Buddie canon in season four. It didn't work out, but if it had, season five could have started with an entirely different arc that stemmed from the fact that Eddie wasn't able to deflect why he made these choices. If Buck had been faced with the revelation that Eddie had feelings for him, he may have looked closer at his own reaction to Eddie being shot. (I talk a lot about possible interpretations of the show, but the way Buck reacted in that scene will always come across as love to me, and even Eddie in those scenes showed feelings. i.e. reaching his hand toward Buck, asking Buck if he was hurt when he was the one bleeding out.)

So... Thoughts? Anyone?

[sad-girl-hours23]

Thinking about Buck,

Still not over Tommy, deeply unsatisfied being under anyone else (he's tried and lost count how many times). His best friend has moved away; he's happy Eddie's working things out with Chris, but he misses them both terribly.

Amongst every one else, he feels...not so much a divide, but maybe less enmeshed than they used to be.

Nothing's wrong with his job, but well, it's starting to feel a lot less like his whole life and purpose and more like just that: a job. He's stagnant. Stuck.

He feels an itch under his skin that he can't scratch in any of his usual ways.

He's over pouring out his love into a Kitchen aid mixer. He's done trying to bury his need for connection into hook-ups.

Realizes maybe he's not as settled as he thought he was. Maybe he's still searching; but for what, he doesn't know. Himself. His purpose. Love.

Realizes he misses not being stuck in one place.

So he takes a vacation. Spends two weeks in Japan. Tells himself he won't create a full itinerary for his time there (he spends most of his flight doing so anyway, but he compromises with himself and leaves his second week open).

He reads about the Wind Phone. How people travel from all over to talk to their late loved ones through a rotary phone.

He doesn't go his first week there, but the thought of it is never far from his mind. (He's held hands with Death, he isn't sure what he's so afraid of).

He gets to the garden of Bell Gardia.

He thinks about Red Delacroix, who warned him against making firefighting his whole life. “You can be the hero and save lives, but don’t neglect having your own. Last thing you want is to be at the end holding nothing but regrets.” So he talks to Red; tells him he hasn't quite figured it out, is scared he never will.

He comes back the next day, Thomas on his mind. Buck tells him how he found his scrapbook the other day (he had forgotten that he'd even taken it). He tells him about Tommy, the love he thought he finally found (then lost). He smiles. "I know, I know. You don't find it, you make it." He can't help the crack in his voice "I really thought we were."

Buck wonders what it says about him that he's spending his vacation talking to the dead. Knows he's not done yet

He comes back the next day, and the day after that, and the one after that. He talks to Daniel each time. He isn't quite sure how to picture him; the age he was in the last photos taken of him, the age when he died, the older Daniel that his coma dream imagined up? He talks to them all.

He gives him the abridged version of his life. Wonders if he should leave out the parts he knows would break his brother's heart, leaves them in anyway. It's cathartic; to confess of the survivor's guilt he's carried since learning of Daniel, how it all came flooding back when woke up from his coma, how it felt like he was letting him down again in the interest of his own survival.

He's certain he's out of tears, and he may not have a voice left by the end of his trip.

But he's got one more phone call to make. And he can't make it here, in this haunted phone booth. And he doesn't want to wait until it's too late.

He hasn't figured it all out. He doesn't know where him and Tommy went wrong. He knows they're both haunted by their own ghosts.

But Tommy's still here. And unlike Buck's ghosts on the other end of the phone, he can talk back.

So Buck does what he should have done months ago. He calls Tommy. He nearly sobs in relief when he hears a breath on the other end and a quiet, "Evan?"

[buddierecs]

5+1 things buddie fics

all mature rating!!! make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

a thousand ways to say i hate you by: morganofthefairies "five times eddie buys taylor fuck-you flowers, and one time he doesn't need to." word count: 8k important tags: language of flowers, taylor kelly, ana flores, awkward dates, double dates, jealous!eddie diaz, petty!eddie diaz, pining 5 times buck wears eddie's clothes (+1 time eddie wears buck's) by: coupe_de_foudre “is that my hoodie?” “i was cold.” he states, as though he didn’t totally have to go into eddie’s bedroom and dig through his closet just to get a hoodie. “it’s soft.” buck adds, bringing the material of the hood up to stroke along his cheek." word count: 4k important tags: pining, developing relationship, domestic fluff, first kiss, implied sexual content, making out, friends to lovers, sharing clothes maybe love won't let you down by: siblysleaves "five times eddie watches buck leave, and the one time he goes after him" word count: 15k important tags: mutual pining, angst with a happy ending, friends to lovers, getting together, love confessions with a smile and some hope by: iriswests "five times buck wakes up before eddie, and one time eddie wakes up before buck" word count: 6.5k important tags: established relationship, domestic fluff no one has to know what we do by: youdrewstarsaroundmyscars118 "five times the firefam find out about buck and eddie accidentally and one time it’s on purpose." word count: 4.1k important tags: secret relationship, relationship reveal, family feels do you ever long for true love from me by: smilingbuckley "5 times eddie gives buck clothes to borrow + 1 time he takes them off." word count: 5.3k important tags: whump, sharing clothes, hurt!evan buckley, sick!evan buckley, pre-relationship, first kiss, fluff, hurt/comfort, implied sexual content baby, you look happier (you do) by: frxm_theashes "five times eddie sees buck happy with someone else, and one time he realizes that buck is happy with him (and that, maybe, eddie is allowed to be happy with buck too). word count: 19k important tags: temporary buck/tommy, jealous!eddie diaz, catholic guilt, internalised homophobia, pining, getting together, making out what if i fall in love backward? by: redridingstiles "five times buck and eddie saved each other by pretending to be together and the one time christopher helps" word count: 9.8k important tags: fake dating, best friends, christopher diaz is a national treasure, protective!evan buckley, teasing, homophobia this is for my mother by: chika_lohaine "5 times buck was christopher's mom and the one time he wasn't." word count: 29k important tags: emotional hurt/comfort, grief/mourning, evan buckley acting as christoper diaz's parent, ableism, panic attacks, pining

platonic co-parents don't kiss like we do by: thelikesofus "5 times other people see buck and eddie kiss + 1 time they really mean it." word count: 7.1k important tags: kissing, forehead kisses, pov outsider, first kiss, getting together, fluff, supportive team, pda, protective!evan buckley got nothing but love for you (fall more in love everyday) by: smilingbuckley "5 times buck and eddie are almost caught + 1 time they are" word count: 6k important tags: secret relationship, hiding, mild sexual content, first dates, dorks in love, light angst, emotional hurt/comfort