#why is this so long lol oops

[sad-girl-hours23]

Thinking about Buck,

Still not over Tommy, deeply unsatisfied being under anyone else (he's tried and lost count how many times). His best friend has moved away; he's happy Eddie's working things out with Chris, but he misses them both terribly.

Amongst every one else, he feels...not so much a divide, but maybe less enmeshed than they used to be.

Nothing's wrong with his job, but well, it's starting to feel a lot less like his whole life and purpose and more like just that: a job. He's stagnant. Stuck.

He feels an itch under his skin that he can't scratch in any of his usual ways.

He's over pouring out his love into a Kitchen aid mixer. He's done trying to bury his need for connection into hook-ups.

Realizes maybe he's not as settled as he thought he was. Maybe he's still searching; but for what, he doesn't know. Himself. His purpose. Love.

Realizes he misses not being stuck in one place.

So he takes a vacation. Spends two weeks in Japan. Tells himself he won't create a full itinerary for his time there (he spends most of his flight doing so anyway, but he compromises with himself and leaves his second week open).

He reads about the Wind Phone. How people travel from all over to talk to their late loved ones through a rotary phone.

He doesn't go his first week there, but the thought of it is never far from his mind. (He's held hands with Death, he isn't sure what he's so afraid of).

He gets to the garden of Bell Gardia.

He thinks about Red Delacroix, who warned him against making firefighting his whole life. “You can be the hero and save lives, but don’t neglect having your own. Last thing you want is to be at the end holding nothing but regrets.” So he talks to Red; tells him he hasn't quite figured it out, is scared he never will.

He comes back the next day, Thomas on his mind. Buck tells him how he found his scrapbook the other day (he had forgotten that he'd even taken it). He tells him about Tommy, the love he thought he finally found (then lost). He smiles. "I know, I know. You don't find it, you make it." He can't help the crack in his voice "I really thought we were."

Buck wonders what it says about him that he's spending his vacation talking to dead. Knows he's not done yet

He comes back the next day, and the day after that, and the one after that. He talks to Daniel each time. He isn't quite sure how to picture him; the age he was in the last photos taken of him, the age when he died, the older Daniel that his coma dream imagined up? He talks to them all.

He gives him the abridged version of his life. Wonders if he should leave out the parts he knows would break his brother's heart, leaves them in anyway. It's cathartic; to confess of the survivor's guilt he's carried since learning of Daniel, how it all came flooding back when woke up from his coma, how it felt like he was letting him down again in the interest of his own survival.

He's certain he's out of tears, and he may not have a voice left by the end of his trip.

But he's got one more phone call to make. And he can't make it here, in this haunted phone booth. And he doesn't want to wait until it's too late.

He hasn't figured it all out. He doesn't know where him and Tommy went wrong. He knows they're both haunted by their own ghosts.

But Tommy's still here. And unlike Buck's ghosts on the other end of the phone, he can talk back.

So Buck does what he should have done months ago. He calls Tommy. He nearly sobs in relief when he hears a breath on the other end and a quiet, "Evan?"

[se-agapo-skywalker]

The Old Man and the Sea

Flashbacks are italicized

CW: age gap (dilf!Luke Skywalker), oral sex (f!receiving), penetrative sex (p in v), unprotected sex, usage of petname "master," mild degradation

WC: 4.4k

"You are no Jedi... nor am I." Luke's back faces you, his solemn eyes cast upon the sea. "I cannot train you."

You reach out to touch his shoulder. "Master, please-"

He flinches away from you, almost recoiling in disgust and shock, all the while keeping his face away from yours. "I already told you. That title no longer means anything to me."

"Then what should I call you? Sir?"

He sighs and shakes his head. "No, I'm not that old..."

"Mr. Skywalker?"

"Too formal."

You pause to think, considering your words carefully. "...How about just Luke?"

Finally, he turns his head to look at you. His eyes reflect a strange vulnerability, sadness and fondness all mixed into one, emotions he tries to keep as hidden as possible. He isn't doing a very good job.

Luke nods, silently, once again casting his eyes down to avoid your gaze. "Just Luke."

Snuggled up into Luke's side, you twirl a lock of his hair around your finger and sigh. His head is leaned back against the pillow, eyes closed, breathing slowly and quietly. You smirk to yourself at the sight of him laying there so peacefully--he's spent to the point of appearing fast asleep.

For a man of his age, his stamina is quite impressive--pinning you beneath him, driving into you at a pace that has you moaning his name over and over--but once he's out, he's out. It's rather cute, to be honest... yet you can't help but wonder if he drifts into sleep so easily because he can't stand to be awake.

You've found that when he isn't doing menial chores, Luke spends most of the day either staring at the sea, walking along the cliffs, or doing who knows what inside of his hut. Perhaps he's meditating, or sleeping, whatever an old Jedi does to pass the time when he so clearly hates his life--you almost feel sorry for him. Almost, as every attempt you make to connect with him is met with disdain or rejection. Usually both.

Still, the Temple Island isn't big enough for you two to ignore each other entirely, no matter how hard he might try. Your paths intercept too frequently, much to his chagrin and your delight. There's something strangely magnetic about him--beneath his gloomy exterior lies the remnants of his grace and discipline, the dignified power of the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order.

It's something you're determined to bring out again.

Luke stirs a bit, shifting in the bed slightly. With confirmation that he's indeed still awake, your hand wanders to his face, delicately stroking his beard.

"One more round?" you ask, voice sweeter than honey. You already know the answer--most likely a no--but it doesn't hurt to try.

He groans softly. "I don't know if I have it in me, starlight." Blue eyes squint open to meet yours, a smile growing on your lips, and he scowls. "What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing, I just think you're cute," you laugh, and he furrows his brow.

"Sweetheart, calling me cute is like calling the sky red."

"But it is red, during the sunset!"

"You know what I mean."

Knowing there's no reasoning with you, Luke relents to your will as you lean over to kiss him. He must think you're impossible--you're certain he does--but that's what keeps on drawing him back to you. At least, that's what stops him from turning you away.

Knocking on the door of Luke's hut, you wince. What were you thinking, coming to him like this, drenched in rain during the middle of the night? He's sure to think you're crazy, if he doesn't already. You shiver as the water continues to pour down, making your hair and clothes stick to your body like a wet tooka as it positively soaks you to the bone--you don't even know why you're here, if you're being honest with yourself.

Finally, the door opens. There stands Luke, your reluctant teacher, the man who's been avoiding your friendship for all this time, looking upon you with annoyance and confusion.

"Why are you here?" is all he says, eyes flicking across your wet form. You scratch the back of your neck self-consciously.

"I... I needed you," is all you manage to say in response.

"For what reason?"

"I don't know." You look down at your feet guiltily. "Something in the Force is telling me to be here."

He scoffs, clearly not believing you, but shakes his head and beckons you over. "Well, come in before you get sick," he grumbles, and you follow him inside as the door shuts behind you.

His hut is simple, not far from what you'd expect the living space of an old Jedi hermit to look like. Old sacred texts are scattered about, and so are his robes; he's currently dressed in simple nightclothes, ones that you briefly find yourself staring at.

No, no, you shouldn't look at him like that--especially not when he's standing right in front of you. But you could've sworn earlier that he looked at you the same way when you stood outside his door, wet clothes clinging to your body... You didn't mean to, well, approach him like that. But here you are, standing in his room and shivering before him as water dripped from you onto the floor.

Seemingly reading your mind, Luke finally breaks the silence--"You know, you should probably change out of those clothes and warm up."

"And change into what?" you ask, cheeks starting to burn.

A quick flash of embarrassment crosses his face, but he quickly conceals it. "I, um... something. This," he says, tossing his cloak to you. "I'll turn around."

You keep your eyes on him as he turns around and awkwardly goes to sit on his bed... and you swear you see him take a pillow into his lap. Slowly, you start peeling off your wet clothes; it's quite the thrill, being this exposed near him, something you'd never anticipate you'd do. If you were in your right mind, you wouldn't--but you aren't, and here you are.

After stripping out of the last of your clothes, you wring your hair out a bit and drape Luke's cloak around your shivering, nude form. It's quite warm, made of thick bantha wool, and it smells like him, although you manage to fight the temptation to bury your face in it. He's right in front of you, anyway.

"I-I'm done," you manage to say.

"Please, tell me... why are you really here?" Luke responds, not even turning around to look at you. "You're welcome to stay until the storm dies down, but if you're here to torment me, don't."

You grab onto the ends of the cloak, keeping them secure to preserve your modesty as you move to sit next to him. Startled a bit by your boldness, he finally looks over at you, and there's something in his eyes you can't quite recognize.

You take a deep breath and exhale. "Look, I don't know why I'm here. I don't know why it's storming, and frankly, I don't know why I'm naked, but here we are. But I think we've both noticed how we can't exactly stay away from each other, no matter how hard we try--how hard you try. I'm not here to hurt you, Luke, I only came to Ahch-To to find you, to see that you're still alive. And now that I know you, I..."

In a move that nearly knocks you off his bed, Luke slowly reaches out with his flesh hand to brush a wet strand of hair out of your face. "I know."

By some strange string of fate, or perhaps by the will of the Force itself, you find your lips meeting his. His beard is rough, scratchy. You wouldn't have it any other way. His lips, apprehensive at first, move against yours rather sloppily, either out of desperation or out of inexperience--although you wouldn't fault him for either. It's not like you're particularly experienced, you never quite had the time, and you aren't opposed to the two of you learning together. The student becomes the master, the master becomes the student...

"Master," you breathe out, "please."

Luke's lips trail from your lips to your jaw, and then to your neck, pressing plenty of ticklish kisses in his wake. His hands move to gently grip the side of your face and back of your neck, careful not to mess with the cloak. Part of you wonders if he ever will, if he's willing to go that far, perhaps even in this sitting. A Jedi would show restraint; yet he is one no longer.

In what can only be interpreted as him sensing your thoughts, Luke stops his advances to look at you, lustful eyes now showing with worry. "Are... are you sure you want this?"

You grab his mechanical hand--you quite like the feeling of the flesh hand on your neck--and bring it to the fastener of the cloak, not undoing it, but letting him know it's an option. "More than anything."

Luke's change in demeanor from grumpy to surprisingly gentle is intoxicating, shocking you in the best way possible--you knew this side of him was still there, you just knew it, and you're so glad you finally have confirmation of it. Peering over, however, you try to get a glimpse of the other confirmation of his affection that you seek...

Just as Luke begins to fiddle with unfastening the cloak concealing your body from him, you slip your hand between the two of you, first to carefully grip his thigh as you lean in to kiss him again, moving your hand further and further until-

"Stop," he interjects, grabbing your hand.

"I-I'm sorry, Master, I-"

His gaze softens, guiltily. "No, it's not you. I'm not ready for that--not yet." Flesh hand reaches up to cradle your face. "I want this to be about you. I want to make up for how cruel I was."

You bring the hand to your lips, kissing the palm, silently accepting his proposal to apologize. The Luke you first met on that cliff all those months ago is near unrecognizable--never before would you have expected him to ever apologize to you, let alone be this communicative with you. Well, communicative by Luke standards. From what you’ve heard of his past reputation as a Jedi, all those stories and legends about his vast accomplishments, he had always been quiet, guarded, only now amplified by his guilt in exile. But he’s trying, that much is clear to you.

“Do you want me to continue?” Luke finally says, breaking the silence with a rare show of humor. Smiling and nodding into his palm, you give it one last kiss, relinquishing your control over it.

Hands return to the fastener, and you feel your heartbeat increase as you're finally hit with the realization that this is going to happen. You have no reservations about it, you've fantasized about sleeping with him for quite some time now, but you must admit the actuality is a bit frightening--and absolutely thrilling.

You want this. Luke does, too, if the totally unsubtle tent in his pants has anything to say about it. But something tells you he's just as nervous as you are--perhaps he's worried about being out of practice, or, if he had previously pursued the path of celibacy, he's worried about having no practice at all. Either way, you don't mind, truly. All you want is him.

Finally, in one swift motion, the fastener is undone. Letting out a shaky breath, Luke begins to pull the fabric of the cloak from your shoulders, ever so slowly, exposing inch by inch of your bare skin to him. As the fabric pools at your waist, you shiver at the feeling of the cool air hitting your slightly damp skin. He notices, instinctively reaching out his hand to touch you--the sudden contact and warmth makes you jump.

"Sorry," Luke whispers, unable to look anywhere besides your face.

"Don't be... please."

Now is his chance to ravish you with his eyes, finally gazing upon--and practically devouring--the beauty that has been hidden from him for far too long.

"Stars, you're... you're incredible."

You blush, both out of pride and bashfulness, as Luke's eyes continue to trace your figure. He stares at you for quite some time, not daring to touch you aside from the hand he has gently caressing the flesh of your waist. It isn't until you grab said hand and move it to the swell of your breast that he finally gets the nerve to actually feel you.

Fingers trace around the soft skin of your nipple, coaxing the little bud into a hardened peak as Luke pinches it ever so slightly. He squeezes your breast, firmly but not painfully, and before you can even register what is happening, his mouth is on you. Beard hair tickles your skin as he plants an open-mouthed kiss at the center of your chest. Kissing, licking, and sucking, he marks his journey through the valley of your breasts by leaving your skin raw and marked--claiming you as his own.

You let out a high-pitched gasp as Luke's lips attach to your nipple, alternating between sucking and flicking with his tongue before switching to do the same to the other. He does this multiple times, only stopping when he leaves them visibly puffy and swollen, with you shuddering and moaning softly at the loss of his touch. As he had worked on you, your hands had found their way into his hair, carding your fingers through and tugging at it softly--he nearly bit you in response, and given the effect on him, you swore he almost liked what you were doing more than you liked what he was doing. Almost.

Your hands move from Luke's hair to cradle his face. He looks up at you nervously, waiting for your reassurance or your approval, hoping he hasn't done anything to upset you.

In a moment of boldness, you say, "Oh, I like that... there's just another place I think I'd like it even more."

Icy blue eyes widening, he nods slowly, taking in a deep breath as he prepares to obey your command. Gently pushing you back, he lowers you onto his bed, laying your head on his pillow--and he pauses.

"Are you sure you want this?"

Your first instinct is to pout, but you don't. He's very likely entirely new to this, and nervous about the fact, so the least you can do is have some grace. Reaching out for his hand, gently ghosting your fingertips over his, you tell him, "I want this. I want you."

With nothing more than a silent nod, Luke finally lifts the remainder of the cloak off you and pulls your thighs apart. His breath hitches at the sight of you--so tight, so wet, glistening in anticipation for him. Him.

Reading his emotions--you're becoming a lot better at that under his tutelage--you smile at him coyly through your eyelashes. "It's for you, Master. All for you."

You flutter and clench at the way Luke breathes out, groaning slightly. After a moment of just staring at you, piercing blue eyes locked onto your beautiful, beautiful core, he ducks his head to get closer. Whatever nervousness he had before has almost completely melted away, starting with light kisses to the inside of your thighs as he pries you open even more. You squirm ever so slightly beneath his touch, one that starts out hesitant but grows more and more eager, the rough hair of his beard nearly rubbing the skin of your thighs raw.

Luke pulls away, just for a moment, his voice deep and gravely. "Let me take care of you."

You shudder at the feeling of his breath on you. But you aren't prepared for what follows--the feather-light poke of his wet tongue, slowly licking a preliminary stripe from hole to clit as he slicks you with a combination of your own wetness and his spit. You had wondered, dreamed when this day would come, and now that it's here, you find yourself melting so readily at his every move.

Noticing the effect he has on you, Luke tentatively wraps his arms around your thighs, pulling you closer to his face so he can taste you more deeply. The new angle has you situated to where you could very well begin grinding on his face, and you have no doubts that he'd let you. This is what he wants--to be needed, to please, to do something, anything right. To have you spread out so beautifully before him is a miracle of the Force itself. He'll do his best to prove he deserves it, as much as he thinks he doesn't.

Alternating between gently probing you with his tongue and languidly exploring the contours of your folds, Luke's lips finally make their way to your clit, where he gently begins sucking. For a man who most likely has no idea what he's doing--although he would never admit it--he sure seems like he does.

Your hand instinctively makes its way to his hair again, albeit this time with far more urgency. Arching your back into him, you pull unapologetically on his greying locks, eliciting a deep groan from him.

An idea enters your mind.

"You like this, Master?" you moan, maneuvering to look at him working between your legs. His eyes flick up to meet yours. "You like finally being useful to someone?"

Your words seem to ignite a fire within him. Without even giving you a moment to process what's happening, Luke's mouth leaves your clit--drawing out an absolutely pathetic mewl from you--and he pulls your legs around his waist, lifting your hips off the bed. Using the Force, he swiftly pins your hands above your head, leaving you fully exposed and at his mercy.

"You think I'm finally useful, huh?" Luke practically growls, "Who are you to judge?"

You can feel his hardened cock brush against your sensitive core from beneath his nightclothes, and, desperate for friction to satiate your hunger, you try to rock your hips against his. But he won't have it--holding your legs still, he keeps you in place with an iron grip.

"Before I show you how useful I can be, you must learn patience. Now be still."

Luke's stronger mechanical hand--still gloved, which only adds to the allure--keeps a hold on you as his flesh hand moves to free himself from the confines of his pants. After a brief moment of fumbling where you pretend not to notice, he manages to pull down his waistband, and out it springs.

And it's... a lot. A lot more than you expected. Where you were eager to take him before, desperately aching for him to be inside you, you can't help but feel a bit nervous. Still, you can't take your eyes off him--large, thick, nice and veiny with a pink tip...

"Is this alright?" Luke asks, his voice low and husky, already starting to slowly drag it across your folds. Your body jerks slightly when the tip bumps into your still-swollen clit, but he's too busy lubricating himself with your wetness to notice. "Well?"

"Y-yes... I need you, Master, please," you practically beg.

Smirking to himself, he finally grants your request. Aligning himself with your entrance, he ever so slowly presses in, eyes screwing shut in the process as a low grunt escapes his throat.

"Maker, you're tight..."

You throw your head back and whine at the stretch. Luke is so much--almost too much--filling you in a way you never thought was possible. It stings slightly at first, but it's such a delicious feeling, one you never want to go another day without.

After giving you a moment to adjust, Luke's eyes meet yours--gently questioning, but still clouded by his need for you--and you signal for him to start moving. Slowly drawing himself back out, he starts a steady pace of deep thrusts, although they're a bit shaky at first. Amidst your ecstasy, you forgot that this may very well be his first sexual encounter--something he's doing a very good job of hiding.

In truth, it doesn't bother you at all. Luke sure keeps you on your toes--the more the night progresses, the more you learn so many seemingly conflicting things about him... and the more you realize you never really knew him at all. Perhaps no one did. He can be stubborn, and gentle, and firm, and vulnerable, a million different things all wrapped into one. And, slowly and surely, you'll peel back those layers to reveal who he truly is.

In the meantime, what Luke does show you is just how pent up he is--he isn't even fully out of his clothes, and he's already fully erect and fucking you into his mattress. The noises are borderline obscene, both the creaking of his bed and the squelching of where your bodies meet, with him loudly sliding in and out of you. While he was rather slow at first, he's since picked up the pace, snapping his hips against yours with a bit more fervor. If you hadn't known any better, you'd say he's just about as virile and libidinous as a juvenile fathier.

You moan and write beneath Luke, your hands still pinned above your head by the Force. After all his talk about its sacred rules and how one must respect and fear it, you truly never expected him to utilize it in such a way--but, knowing your Master, you doubt he cares. He looks down at you with those heavy eyes, his gaze filled with emotions you can't quite describe or even begin to understand. He's quiet, oh so quiet--you can't exactly say the same about yourself--that if it weren't for his borderline frantic rutting, you might not have been sure of his enjoyment.

Catching on to your concern, Luke reaches down with his flesh hand to reassuringly stroke your skin, gently tracing from your thigh to your hip, across your stomach, and all the way to the swell of your breast. Your nipples are still puffy and sore from his relentless sucking and pinching, skin covered in the evidence of where his beard had scratched you. He feels a bit guilty, having marked you up so thoroughly like this, yet he also has a strange sense of pride at how you let him. If things go your way, you'll let him again and again and again--until your hunger is satisfied, which you're sure it never will be.

For as much as Luke is thoroughly attracted to you, however, he can feel his hunger start to reach its peak. Whether it be through the Force or your own pleasure, you can sense this, too, and it only serves to bring you into the early stages of orgasm as well.

"M-Master, I-," you whine, not even able to finish your thought as Luke brings his hand back up to rub your clit. He may be stubborn, and grumpy, but he is by no means selfish, especially not as a lover. Like with all things, he's determined to do this right. And he does--each thrust of his hips and tight circle rubbed by his thumb pushes you closer and closer, until finally you're pushed off that cliff and engulfed by the force of your orgasm. Twitching and spasming, legs shaking, you cry out as it overtakes your senses so spectacularly.

Luke watches you, completely in shock that he actually managed to do this--although you knew he would. Feeling you clench around him so deliciously is enough to motivate him to follow suit. Speeding up his pace one last time, positively hammering into you, he chases his own orgasm sloppily, desperately. Perhaps he hasn't had one in a long time, hasn't even had the desire to touch himself, so having you here to offer him some much needed relief truly is a godsend.

You're too blissed out and trembling in the aftershocks of your own orgasm to notice the way his hips stutter, finally stilling as he spills thick ropes of his seed inside you. In that moment, neither of you really care about the consequences--you don't think anything could happen, anyway--nor do you even really pause to contemplate them.

Luke stands before you, panting and slightly dazed, sweat making his hair stick to his forehead. Lowering your legs and pulling out--hot, white liquid spilling out of you as he does so--he adjusts his clothing and finally collapses beside you.

"That was, I..." you start, covering your face with your now-freed hands. "What are we now?"

Luke sighs. "We're something, I guess... something the Jedi of old wouldn't approve of." A glimpse at his old humor appears as he winks at you. "But they aren't here now, are they?"

You open your eyes to the sight of Luke asleep in your now shared bed. His hair is sprawled out on your pillow, long-lashed eyes still shut as he snores ever so lightly. The morning light bathes his sleeping face in a surprisingly lovely way, illuminating the soft, vulnerable side of an otherwise stoic and dignified Jedi master. His arm is still around you, mechanical hand resting at the small of your back--he still prefers to touch you intimately with his flesh hand, but by instinct, he'll use his cybernetic. You don't mind one bit, and he knows this. It brings him peace. Hence where he is now: entangled with you, beneath your covers, mind somewhere off in the realm of dreams.

"Oh, Skywalker..." you whisper, careful not to wake him. You can't tell whether you're talking to him, or really just talking to yourself. It isn't important. Taking a moment to pause, to think, you take a deep breath and say it--"...I love you."

Luke stirs, and you wince. Was it too soon? Is that not how he sees your relationship? He could wake up any minute and reject you and-

"Love you, too," he murmurs, not even opening his eyes, face still buried in his pillow.

Relief washes over you, but so does a strange new feeling... surprise? Excitement? Fear, even? No, no, it can't be anything bad... So you decide to accept it for what it is: something you can't explain, yet something that brings so much hope, so much meaning to your life. And, for the first time in a long time, you're happy--and he is, too.

[coffeesleep-ooc]

Essay on heartbreak points

Just thinking of LBH pining over SQQ along the novel before he finally gets the man

Pre-abyss LBH wants SQQ, but the thing i see in him is not just wanting him, carnally sexually or otherwise, he wants SQQ’s attention and approval bc he admires him, its as simple as that. Og goods already had his admiration just bc he was a great cultivator, he was elegant and beautiful and worked hard af, it was like…if a polished stone like jade was used to hurt rather than be the soft, warm and flawless concept of beauty - that chinese media usually uses -. But then the cold showed a soft inner core! Yes! Our dear transmigrator took over and confused the hell out of t he poor LBH that still struggled to excuse SJ’s behavior. Then though, SY took care of him with love and with smiles, using mdoern sensibilities to measure things like care and affection…and I think that some of those discrepancies between a hellish setting and a soft oblivious SY must have been quite jarring to LBH. He sees someone that believes in inherent good and is passionate and silly, knowledgeable and kind, and can’t help but want to be close! He admires him so much!!

Still pre-abyss, not only LBH admires the heck out of SY, he is also his shizun, and i don’t forget about his teacher kink but im talking about the dynamics of it instead of anything sexual. LBH knows and firmly believes that his position is way below that of SQQ’s, he is protected and cared for, but he longs to protect and care for as well right? Because he has seen that SQQ is powerful but not above everything, because he is knowledgeable but not all-seeing, because he may be taken advantage of by someone crafty that doesn’t deserve his kindness. LBH pretends to fall and be weak and helpless when it’s convenient for him, but he knows he has to take every advantage he can bc he needs to be strong enough to protect SQQ, because the world has shown him that there are many dangers and that someone not of a peak lord’s status isn’t worth to marry (idk how much about this airplane would have put into his work, but lets remember that ancient chinese marriages were a very foemal and important thing that involved status and wealth, not just love). Let’s remember our bun has also been a street rat and probably saw many things at one point or another! We can only speculate and write fics about that last point, but the street is not a good place to be, especially in a PIDW setting. Also, bc he wasn’t strong enough, quick enough, bc his family had no power or money his mother died, it’s as hurtful and as plain as that for him, even if he knows (does he though?) that it’s not his fault.

Onwards to the abyss! It’s shit. That’s what it is. Shizun who he admires, respects and loves above everything, who told him that nobody was intolerable for the heavens went against every fucking shit he said and coldly forced LBH into the abyss. What the actual fuck SQQ (affectionate), you gave him so many issues fr. I can only imagine how confused the poor LBH must have felt when his Shizun yet again changed tune like this in a way he can’t fully explain this time, even more so, he could try, but it wouldn’t change the fact that LBH is currently in the worst place ever because the person he loves with his whole heart threw him there (and possibly wanted him to stay down there? to become one of its creatures? To die? He has no idea???). LBH has strived to be good, to be worthy in his teacher’s eyes since he entered the sect and he has just gotten proof that he isn’t and will never be even though he had the hope of getting there despite everything. It’s just filled with heartbreak and i think that the system only deducted SQQ’s current total points bc he literally had to die to be deducted any more and LBH can’t have him dead and the system knows that extremely well! It also gave SQQ a scenario push remember? And that was only for LBH’s benefit istg, SQQ had no idea.

and talking about death! Funny thing isn’t it? It’s ridiculous that SQQ dies so many times (srsly bro, wtf - again affectionate) but I believe that the first was the most traumatic for LBH. SQQ doesn’t sneer at him like a disgusting mucus but instead is afraid of him! LBH worked hard to just see SQQ again, to reunite the courage to talk to him and ask him if he regretted what he did, to show him he was a good person and that he had power now, that he could impress him and protect him (he has lost a lot of his own self-esteem base and i do believe that’s part of where heartbreak points come from) the person whom he values the opinion of the most -the only one even- thinks him a beast and an unredeemable demon…and when he tries to peove himself not that, the only thing SQQ does is run away from him, to decide to be silent and refuse even LBH’s (biased) kindness. He wouldn’t even take LBH’s robe! Imagine that you love someone and that someone hates your guts and refuses to even acknowledge that they hurt you, oh, and all this while an evil sword is fighting to take advantage of your negative feelings. Post-abyss is also shit, just a bit better bc LBH has the illusion of control, he thinks he can still control the situation and is slowly losing hope of shizun understanding him. But the illusion shatters when SQQ self-detonates to save him. The one he supposedly hates. LBH is probably just eternally confused in sv now that i think about it lmao *pats consolingly*

post death 1 (actually 2 for SY): LBH thought he knew shizun, then he realized he couldn’t explain everything shizun did. Then he tried to ask, not even for a full explanation, just to know if shizun really did hate him (bc LBH truly doesn’t care at that point what SQQ does or what SQQ’s reasons and actions were as long as he still loves him, smhw he is so…) and got instead a blow up in his face, coupled with other ppl’s accounts of SQQ mourning him like he was actually truly dead, missing him and finally he sees SQQ sacrificing himself for him. This surely must be enough fpr LBH right? Well…not really, SQQ could have been sacrificing himself to protect the ppl around him - LQG is there and we all know that LBH is mildly sus of him at this point, it will get worse later when LQG is the one coming by every fucking day to retrieve SQQ’s corpse so mhm…its possible LBH thought they had something (not necessarily romantic) at some point, or that LQG and the other ppl were important enough to sacrifice his life for. Not only that, but shizun was not rejoicing when he came back, he never said anything. He killed himself in everyone’s pov -but SQH’s-without explanation, in the most tragic and confusing way of all, saying he would repay LBH…lets also remember that repaying someone can mean completely cutting ties and leaving with a clean slate. And the only actual thing he did was show LBH he didn’t have actual control over the situation and that it was possible to be completely powerful and still lose the ones you love and care about. Idk (or don’t remember haha…) the moment LBH started building the bamboo house in the demonic realm, but it says a lot about what he wants and what he dreams about, the most probable things he is feeling at this point is desperation and melancholy, nostalgia. He longs for the days where he was secure in the knowledge of Shizun’s affection for him, no matter what kind of affection it was, but at the same time is bittersweet because he knows that shizun will never love him foe who he is and that drives him mad with heartbreak that is just building up over time. He will also feel incredibly guilty over SQQ repaying him with his life, because all he ever wanted was basic communication but Shen ‘i am so emotionally repressed i can’t even tell what I’m actually feeling’ Qingqiu obviously thought he was being hunted for revenge. So rip LBH, he wanted an explanation or just a simple ‘i regret it’ but what he gets is confusion, a corpse he has to reanimate asap, and incredible guilt + more damage to his self esteem

Then SQQ comes back and doesn’t even try to search fpr him? And everything becomes a huge mess quite quickly. But. Luo Binghe watches his shizun go back to his martial family and interact with them in a way that he doesn’t interact with LBH anymore. LBH gets his face rubbed with the fact that what he strongly wishes for (going back) is impossible because he made the mistake of being born. Which, would demoralize the strongest of us honestly. And uta been so long since i read sv that I don’t remember much, but im sure that LBH can’t even think that SQQ does care for him, the trauma and insecurity, the abandonment issues have grown so big that they are like a bull in a china shop, ready to shatter everything in short range. Its only when SQQ gives his life (LBH does not know this but he is aware that SQQ would not have used papapa to save the world with just everyone) and gives him something he kept for so long - and that LBH himself thinks is precious despite being worthless - that he understands a bit that shozun may not hate him so much. I’m surprised that heartbreak points weren’t so used or that we didn’t get reminded of them through the story, because it would have given us an inkling of how LBH was feeling, but also spoilers and SQQ’s obliviousness, i imagine that at the end of sv they would have been lower than what they were (in truth) at the IAC but not completely gone

finally, i think that heartbreak points could be used to gauge how traumatized poor LBH was at eaxh point in time, but also to measure the state of his self esteem and the level of hope he had according to the way SQQ acted along the novel. I think that the points were all gone at some point (i eont remember anymore -cries- ) but i fullly believe that post canon Binghe still has heartbreak points and a whole lot of issuws that start to slowly disappear as thwir relationahip progresses. The only thing is that LBH still ties his own worth to SQQ’s opinion of him, and he will have heartbreak points again if he misunderstands SQQ st any point (unlikely but still).

Anyways…

THIS POOR BABY BREAKS MY HEART! He was terrible but he was also very human and truly, he deserves good.

Sorry about the rambling essay! :D

[gayvecchio]

My initial impression when I watched Eclipse for the first time (and what I still believe) is that Stella knew full well that Ray didn't humilate himself on purpose in the bank when they were kids. I always read it as Stella knowing how embarrased and ashamed Ray would feel for having wet himself, and instead of trying to console him and tell him that it was okay, she let him be the hero instead. Because even though in Ray's memory he thought that he was being 'John Lennon, James Bond, Joe Namath, all rolled into one', I don't think Stella actually fell in love with an illusion at all. Like Fraser said, 'I am willing to gamble that Stella looked beyond that one incident and saw the whole person'. I think she always saw Ray for who he really was, but Ray's own insecurities about himself made him believe that she had to be with him based on a lie. I think the person who doesn't see Ray clearly is Ray himself. He has such a low sense of himself that he can't imagine her falling for anything but a con. He can't imagine that Stella simply fell in love with little Ray Kowalski, because who the hell is even is that? He's convinced himself that he's been playing the part of 'the hero' all these years that he doesn't really see that he has actually become one. The person who recieved all those citations that Fraser recounts wasn't a lie or a con, it was Ray Kowalski, a good policeman, someone who one would be proud to call a partner and a friend. In my opinion Ray's biggest con was conning himself into believing he isn't good enough just the way he is.

[statementlou]

So I see folks pointing out that Louis' circle A tattoo is more likely an aesthetic choice than an announcement of a political commitment to anarchism, and saying basically that that maybe makes him a bit of a poser and I mean- I GUESS. But I don't like to look at things that way and I don't think it's useful. As I see it the subversive sexiness of the symbols of resistance have ALWAYS been gateways for people who are drawn to the struggle in vague ways and that's GOOD. Aligning yourself with those values is good no matter the reason, in my book, especially given the wretched options available out there, but also the journey doesn't necessarily stop there. Gatekeeping queerness victimizes people who are just trying things out and starting to discover that it may run deeper than just trying on a new look who should instead be welcomed and helped along their path, and I fail to see how gatekeeping political affiliations is any different (plus how counterproductive to actual movement building is that?)

ANYWAY. What I really want to say about Louis is that while I KNOW that Louis is probably not secretly a theory reading anti-state communalist anarchist, I think that actually Louis' optimism and idealism (and his unwavering commitment to allying himself with the working class and embracing those roots) are a perfect fit for the philosophy and always have been. I know that anarchism is mostly understood as being about throwing molotov cocktails and fighting the state (and the allure of its symbols are that they signify this, a terrific aesthetic for him to choose to sign on with in my book), but that's honestly largely cartoonish stereotyping that comes directly from anti-anarchist state propaganda. That resistance is necessary in this hellscape of oppression we live in and is super important, but in its heart anarchism is only about the state in that the state and capitalism currently stands in the way of its goals. The whole point of anarchism is that it's NOT about the state! It's about being able to imagine something better than a state, it's about how we live and about how we SHOULD live, it's about HOPE and picturing something utopian and something free of the ways capitalism pits us against one another! What could be more Louis than that?

"I need you and you need me and I love that" is as beautiful a way of talking about the cornerstone of anarchism that is mutual aid as any long winded essay I've read (even if what he meant was contextually different), and I think when he talks again and again about how special the space fans have made around him is he is expressing an intuitive understanding of the importance of autonomous zones, places and moments outside of the shitty life imposed on us by the system (also a huge part of anarchist thought). Maybe I'm just being an optimist but I think that Louis DOES understand that caring for people and wanting self-determination and freedom for all and allying himself with the working class involves a certain amount of resistance to and positioning yourself in opposition to the state. Thinking the symbols of smashing that state are cool isn't meaningless; it's a CHOICE. There are other cool symbols out there and I just happen to think that feeling a resonance with certain ones is something in and of itself, even if at this moment he does not choose to start a fight with the media about it all.

[silverskye13]

Do u have any references of ur sona ? Asking for a friend

Kinda yeah! It's a bit old.

The only notable change is that now there is a gradient on the tail, dark at the tail tip and getting lighter. The dark at the tip is the same as the under eye dark. Tail has no set length outside of "longer than normal" lol

Some more recent doodles of them featuring the dark tail:

And then if you're feeling silly, there are some variants they've taken on, which are all equally up for grabs. They're Goocat, Sculkcat, and MoreTailsCat.

It's hard to get them wrong lol. They can be drawn feral [like a normal cat] or as an anthro/furry. The outfit can change. The bandana can change or be nonexistent. The Sculkcat can be drawn as a weird Minecraft creeper guy, or like a centaur.[Shrugs] have fun!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them

i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.

under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)

ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.

embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great

back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.

my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)

durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL

'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full

as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL

BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).

tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on

Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive

and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...

once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)

i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)

that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here

before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..

i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....

[34saveme34]

ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok

light tiny theory

what if 3 didn't hug 4 in Perfect bc he was still holding back

like not (just) feelings wise but because he still had that feeling in the back of his mind that he doesn't deserve it

I mean just before it, from his perspective, we would see Mario and Meggy hugging 4. It almost makes it feel like he would just be looking at them like an outsider (maybe admiring 4 but that's just my personal opinion)

and then 4 lightly teasing him about all the things he said

basically 3 was like, professing his undying Totally platonic love to him, of course he like has to address him

but 3 just wanted to stay out of it, hoping that maybe it won't be brought up and they can just focus on exiting the castle

but noooo, 4 had to take notice of it so gaily aauaohidhosdkljd-

it genuinely feels that way, like 3 wants to do great things for 4 and really really be there for him but afraid of the confrontation from him, which yknow- even more so adds to the idea that he's having a gay little crush on him

like they already kind of made up by that point, maybe not fully but they weren't the enemies they once were, so the idea of him staying distant because of being a villain is like, almost baseless

villain is a role and he's not filling that anymore, it's more accurate to call him an anti hero or just a little evil little guy who will do pity crimes against you. He would mug you earlier than take over the world

but yeah that really only leaves that- even then, he was so scared of 4 rejecting him

he was just avoiding it better than

but with like, trash friends well- you know-

if anything, I hope the current saga to end with 3 truly like, confiding in 4, trust him enough to be able to be weak with him in a way that's more sincere than anything he ever said, even more honest than he was in Trash Friends bc in my opinion that was just the start of it all

that's something I hope for the possible near future, even if we don't get them together, they really have to reconcile and- I think that's what those episodes with them have been setting up. Their rocky yet intense and close relationship meeting an especially big hard ship and it's on them to solve it or let it go to ruin and ruin each other along with it

[thevillagequeer]

Rip Five Hargreeves you would have loved or hated, I can't decide, the Fallout Series

[emergingghost]

thinking about the saddest factory radio episode when all of boygenius were on and (8 minutes in) they're kind of gushing about elizabeth powell from land of talk and it's so so funny. thought i'd transcribe this one bit. the whole episode (sans songs) is here. lucy: "what's the singer's name again? she's so nice" julien: "and..." lucy: "and. her. arms. are- julien: "-NO! uuuuuuuh" lucy: "fold me in those arms" (idk if she says fold or something similar but w/e) julien: "AUUGGHHH!!" lucy: "i'm saying what julien wants to say" julien: "i am..."

julien being all 'i love arm' about elizabeth powell while everyone is 'i love arm' about her. something something cyclical gay experience

[whosthere54]

Sorry you’re not getting as much fable writing content school is starting soon and many things have been happening!

I’m working on my prison duo playlist (my playlist) anylisis and also writing 3 things because I’m being so normal about Icarus Morningstar (The parasites in me- /ref)

You’ll get those at some point but until then I’m mostly gonna be re-blogging stuff and writing my silly little thoughts when I have them :]

[shivunin]

Fang and Thorn

(Zevran/Tabris, 883 Words)

The metal of the dagger was carefully polished, but some of the scratches on the blade ran deep. Tabris turned it over and over in her hands, watching it reflect firelight, then her face over and over.  

Slavers. Her friends, some of them gone forever. Her father caged; Valendrian shipped off to Tevinter. Then today—the orphanage, lost to demons and death. The bodies left in the ruined building to rot…

Arianwen closed her hand around the hilt at last, feeling the faint impressions in the polished rosewood where her mother’s hand had once held it firm. Had she worried about the future of their folk, too? What kind of life had she wanted for her only daughter? 

She would’ve been proud, Wen’s father’d said. 

Yet he had no idea who she…what she was. What she would still do, if given half the chance. Would her mother have been proud? Would she have approved of the person Arianwen had become?

“How are you feeling?”

Wen closed her eyes. The others had been quiet at dinner, had allowed her to return to her room in Eamon’s estate without too much bother. She’d been…moody was too kind a word for it. Stormy, then—she’d been stormy these past few days and she knew it well. Alistair had wanted to say something when she left. She’d seen it in his face. For what felt like the first time, he’d restrained himself. Arianwen had trudged up here, locked the doors, and curled up on the settee with only her knife and the fire for company. 

But of course Zev had found his own way in. 

She sat up, waited for him to tuck himself beneath her, and rested her head on Zevran’s lap. After a moment’s hesitation, he stroked his fingers through her loosened hair and let his hand come to a stop on her shoulder. 

“You do not wish to speak of it?”

Wen said nothing. She shifted back on the couch until her head came to rest in the crook of his belly and his hip, where his flesh softened slightly. He’d left off his leathers for her, something she was grateful for. It was easier to feel the warmth of him when he wore linen. 

“How fortunate,” Zev went on, squeezing her shoulder, “For I have more than enough to say for both of us.”

That’s what she’d been counting on. 

“Have I told you about the time I had my knife to a contessa’s throat only to realize that I had climbed in the wrong window? It was the hottest day of summer, when even the flies are too lazy to crawl from their sleep…”

Arianwen listened, her eyes dragging lower and lower as the fire softened and calmed in the hearth. Eventually, when the flames were all but embers, a careful hand eased the hilt of her mother’s dagger from her hand and set it softly on a side table. 

Where it would be safe. 

|

The rest of her party readied themselves in the foyer the next morning. 

Wen flipped her mother’s knife in her hand over and over, watching her friends. Alistair and Morrigan were giving each other a wide berth at the moment, which was good news for her headache. Zevran was ready, but pretending he still had to adjust his various buckles, casting her the occasional glance through his eyelashes.

Wen flipped the dagger several more times, absently gauging the weight and balance of the blade. 

It was well made, worn comfortably, made with fine craftsmanship. Nevertheless it…it hurt to hold. Arianwen admitted this to herself, twisting the metal again and catching her own eyes in the reflection. Its warmth reminded her of happier days, when the world had seemed—if not fair—safe and whole. 

That…hurt. Too much to touch. Too much to hold.

Wen moved to Zevran’s side and leaned against him. He draped an arm around her waist automatically, angling himself in her direction. 

“Shh,” she said, when he opened his mouth to speak.

 Zev raised his brows in response, but Tabris shook her head. 

When she reached for the hilt of his dagger, it slid easily from its sheath. Arianwen weighed it in her hand for a moment, peering down as she angled it this way and that. They were of a similar construction, his blade and the other she held. The weight in Zevran's leaned a little further to the tip; the other would certainly suit him better. If one of them used these as a chopper, it was more she than he.

Wordlessly, Arianwen slid the rosewood dagger into the empty sheath hanging from his belt and slipped his dagger into hers. Zevran’s brows had drawn together, and his free hand hovered over the hilt for a moment. 

“Do you…not wish to keep this somewhere safer?” he asked quietly, bending his head nearer to hers. 

Wen shook her head. 

“That’s not what it’s for,” she took a deep breath, “It’s…called Fang.”

Zevran set his hand on the hilt of the dagger at last, squeezing it slightly. 

“I will use it well,” he said, the arm around her waist pulling her closer. 

Wen let herself be pulled, some of the heaviness in her chest lightening. Would her mother have approved? She didn’t know. Maybe she didn’t need to. Perhaps it was enough that the blade would protect her lover now, as her mother had once wielded it to protect Wen. 

“I know,” Arianwen said, and raised her face to be kissed.

[ladye-zelda]

The Chain as Owl City Songs

You read the title; I gave each member of the chain an Owl City song (or more) XD

Some of these songs can go to multiple of the boys (most notably Wild, Twilight, and Legend; poor guys with girlfriend trauma).

Also disclaimer: this is mainly all of the songs I grew up with, so I won't have any songs from Owl City's newer albums (such as Cinematic and Coco Moon; especially Coco Moon as I haven't finished listening to that album at this time).

Legend

The first thing that came to mind was Strawberry Avalanche, since it kind of fits with the Koholint situation.

But I think the one that would best fit would be Angels (though it could also match with Twi and Wild).

For some more post-Koholint Angst, here's The Real World; I dunno, seems like a song Legend would belt out.

Twilight

Up All Night. No doubt. I've actually been thinking of this for so long I've been going crazy XD

(And this is mainly the song that can go with both Legend and Wild as well; be prepared for some heavy angst.)

Time

Originally what I had was Super Honeymoon (as kind of a joke) but listening to it I realized it made more sense if he was married to Zelda, which is a nope. (Or I guess it could fit if he just thinks of his wife so highly, which is likely).

Tbh he was kind of hard to assign an Owl City song to (like Four), so I think Meteor Shower might also fit for some Time Angst.

(Or Dental Care or Rugs from Me To You for some dad jokes hehe.)

(Bonus: Tennis Elbow from Sky Sailing; not technically Owl City but it's by the same guy.)

(Bonus Bonus: Unbelievable for that 90's nostalgia; unfortunately it doesn't mention Ocarina of Time but if this was Modern AU then Time would absolutely have 90's nostalgia... maybe...)

Hyrule

Plant Life. I think this song would kind of touch with that side of Hyrule who felt like he isn't like the other heroes

(It does have a slight romance undertone to it, but its only in the chorus/bridging lyric and isn't the main focus of the song I will admit.)

Wild

Wolf Bite. I know the title kind of suggests this should be Twi's song, but if you listen to it it kind of fits with the internal struggle that Wild goes through in the comics. (Plus if I could make animatics I would totally make an animatic of Wild to this song; ahhh I love Ultraviolet (the album this is from) so much).

Bird with a Broken Wing. Kind of self explanatory if you listen closely to the lyrics. (Actually, this could fit with Time... hm...)

Four

Oof, this was kind of a hard one. At first I was going to say that no song could match him, until I remembered...

The Technicolor Phase. Kind of color-centric for those who like them XD

Sky

[Insert every 2010's Owl City love song here]

XD Kidding; but the two I have written down are Honey and the Bee and The Bird and the Worm (and maybe Early Birdie?)

A non-romantic song I remembered however is Sky Diver. Yeah that's Sky for ya XD

The Airway — SO perfect for Sky

Wind

Yacht Club! Except not really because I forgot it was a romance song XD (We'll save it for when Wind has grown a bit.)

On the other hand: How I Became the Sea.

Wars

I was tempted to put Deer in the Headlights as a joke but then that would fit with womanizer Wars which is a BIG NOPE (and doesn't fit with Wars at all), so just think of it as reversed or something XD

On the other hand, we have Hospital Flowers for kind of maybe that survivor side of him.

But Beautiful Times fits him the most, as it kind of delves in with that war aspect ("cab driver turned to skydiver then to survivor" screams war to me).

And yeah, that's all the chain! Feel free to add or switch out any songs that you feel might be better; these were just mainly off the top of my head.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

i see you shine and the dark disappears

written for @sockfus for the @atlawintersolstice! <3

Sokka’s favorite part of the day was going to bed.

And sure, he loved snuggling up in blankets and gazing out the window, basking in Yue and all her light. He loved dreaming about fun things like math and his family and friends. He loved the silence that came with the night, so still and different from the bustling palace in the day.

But that’s not why he loved going to bed.

There were lots of things to love about the night, but his favorite by far was seeing Zuko.

[or: sokka, zuko, and sleep

🌻4,650 words | zukka🌻

[daz4i]

how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp

i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand

many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you

also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)

[strawberrycowtime]

ive been thinking. i think it’s stupid that people are like “family/love/happiness is a constant! pain/suffering is just temporary!” because that’s just…wrong? like it’s a sweet thought, but it’s not true. when one ends, the other begins. neither are constant/uninterrupted ever (which is good. things would be strange if nothing ever changed).

so i feel like instead of naming a positive as the rule, with any negatives being the exception, we can just say Something. there will always be Something, and there will always be Nothing, sometimes. and before Something, there might’ve been Nothing, but it’ll be a long while until it goes back to Nothing.

like there was Nothing before, and there’ll probably be Nothing after, but that doesn’t mean we don’t get to experience the Something in between. and what is the end of one thing if not the start of another?

sorry if this is stupid lols i just needed to get it out of my brain. i’ve been thinking about all the changes i went through during covid and how they relate to the bigger picture of my life. there was a big period during like 2022 where i just Didn’t Know What Was Happening and so now that i know the context for everything, i’ve been able to piece my life together again. and also im not in a constant state of transistion lmao

or maybe im just tired idk. i might delete this