#Bruce Wayne serial adopter

[mx-heinous]

Bruce Wayne is hella suspicious

Like, outside of being a billionaire, he just feels too well-adjusted, you know? With that kind of backstory, it would've been natural for him to be a rogue, but somehow, he isn't. People have looked into the guy's past to try and find dirt on him and... nothing. There's nothing. He does a lot for Gotham, but what's the motive? He's rich rich. Why would he care if he wasn't hiding something? Didn't he also completely disappear for a couple of years? What was he doing? Also, it's Gotham, the place where your postman could secretly be a serial killer. Everyone's a little off here, but not him. Why?

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

I think it’d be really funny to play with timelines just enough so that Jason, after dying and undying or whatever, comes back to Gotham only to see not only Batman having gained like four more kids, but at least half the justice league have a bunch more kids as well.

Batman’s adoption problem isn’t just genetic, it’s contagious and there are so many time travel/dimension shenanigans to work through here, as well as an unsettling number of secret bio kids, and Jason is one more “wait, where did they come from” away from tearing out his hair so he finally decides the rest of his plan can wait. He needs answers.

He’s not going to go ask Batman for anything, obviously, so someone else will have to do. There are many great potential options here, but my pick? Hal Jordan.

Just Jason going to Hal because Batman would never look for him there and Hal wondering how he went from discovering Gotham’s Red Hood in his kitchen to explaining the family structures of the entire Justice League to Batman’s not-so-dead son.

[yourlocal-edgelord]

Batfam as things me and my friends say

—————————

Bruce: I adopted you, just suck it up and admit it

Steph: FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT YOUR CHILD

—————————

Tim: this is like the worst possible time for me to enter academic burnout

Duke: omg u 2????

—————————

Jason: what do you mean you dont like to read

Steph: its a waste of time, what am i gonna get after reading a book, its useless

Jason: DISHONOR, DISHONOR ON YOU, DISHONOR ON YOUR COW, DISHONOR ON YOUR WHOLE FAMILY

Steph: ok :P

————————

Bruces calendar having the dates wrong

Tim: Check what generation your calendar is from

Steph: Gen alpha ❤️

————————

Dick: GUYS I DID THAT PINTEREST TREND AND I GOT RAINBOW DASH FOR CARTOON CHARACTER, THIS IS THE ACHIEVEMENT OF THE CENTURY

————————

Tim: They say Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezey - I Say Difficult Difficult Lemon Difficult

next

[chaoswarfare]

dp x dc memes once again! >:3

[phantoms-world-and-more]

Batman chasing phantom around gothem threatening adoption

Phantom has been hiding out in gothem after an incident with vlad, he's somehow gained the bats attention

Batman is around danny for less than 5 minutes before his adoption senses go off, phantom manages to escape but bruce has alfred prapare a room, prepared the batkids and has the adoption papers ready

The next time batman and phantom meet, phantom tries to sass his way out but batman has something else on his mind

He walks up to him and says "sighn here"

Phantom asks "what this"

Batman "adoption-"

Phantom didnt let him finish his sentence, batman is known as a serial adopter and dannys trying to get away from one crazy man trying to adop him, HE DOSENT WANT ANOTHER

Less than an hour later their are videos of the sassy new meta in gothem running away from batman screaming that he'd rather be sent to arkam than be adopted

While batman responded with 'it is inevitable you will become my new child' while chasing after him, adoption papers visible in his hands.

The batkids see it and start placing bets on when phantom will give into batman because he's right...

The adoption is inevitable

[serialadoptersbracket]

Round 3, Match 1: Bruce Wayne vs. Pascal

Submitted kids:

Bruce Wayne: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian and Athanasia al Ghul, Cassandra Cain, Jarro, Stephanie Brown, Barbara Gordon, Terry and Matthew McGinnis, Helena Wayne, Harper and Cullen Row, Duke Thomas (Arguments promised)

Pascal: Village children

Propaganda under the cut!

Bruce Wayne:

1. “Man can't deal with empty nest syndrome and cannot look past an orphan child without adopting them. He takes in Dick when Dick is 12 (he eventually does adopt Dick after Dick is already an adult), after being one of many people to witness Dick's parents die. After Dick went off to do his own thing he met Jason who was living on the streets after his Mom died. After Jason died, Tim shoved his way into Bruce's life saying that Bruce needed a partner in crime solving after Jason's death (Tim still had parents who were alive at this point, they did eventually die and was taken in by Bruce). Cassandra's circumstances I'm not fully clear on but she was raised by her bio dad to be a living weapon and she ran away (from my understanding at least) and Bruce took her in. Duke was taken in after his parents were hospitalized due to a Joker attack and were/are unlikely to recover. Bruce also mentors other children heroes including Barbara Gordon and Stephanie Brown, both are close to his kids and are sometimes seen as under his wing as well, but neither see him as a parent.”

Link to the rest here!

Pascal:

“not putting all of his lore here be of the pg-13 rule but he's this robot who is the sweetest guy imaginable, he is pretty smart cares a lot for his kids (again, cant get TOO into that but he is v/ protective of them) and also is a pacifist who rlly just peace between the androids & machines even tho thats pretty fucking difficult (he even is an ally to the android resistance and trades w/ them frequently!)

from his unit data (because im Bad at describing things lol):

‘A pacifist machine lifeform that despises conflict and strives endlessly for peace with humanity.

This unit possesses incredible intelligence, as well as a deep interest in the history of both humans and machines.’”

[raeuberprinzessin]

I love the "Bruce adopts Marinette" trope as much as everyone else, but I want you to consider this:

Bruce learns that (for whatever reason) Marinette is in need for a guardian/parental unit/up for adoption and he has the papers ready - but he's still too late. Queen Hippolyta wanted to take the newest baby Ladybug under her wing at least as badly as Bruce. And since he already has so many kids and this is her chance to get a lovely little sister, Diana bribed everyone in the Justice League as well as Alfred, Oracle and the bat kids to keep Bruce in the dark long enough.

Bruce only stops pouting when Alfreds scolds him, but he's still extra broody, Cass stays away for a while because he's so clingy and he sighs loudly and theatrically whenever he sees something pink or anything about Ladybug.

Diana wonders whether she should convince her mother to share custody, just to get Batman to behave normal. He didn't even reprimand Hal after his stunt during the last mission! The Green Lantern expects said reprimand at any moment which makes him unbearably skittish.

Feel free to add 😂

[domnorian]

Conner: Would you say you tried to baby trap Superman?

Lex:

Lex: Mercy, you think it's too late to drop him off at the Justice's League's doorsteps?

Mercy: I'm afraid so, especially after you tried to baby trap Superman 🤭

Lex: >:(

LMAO! Thank you, anon!

He definitely tried to babytrap Superman. Sorry, Lex. But I'm definitely sure that if Lex drops Conner at the Justice League's doorsteps he will get furiously adopted by a random Batman swinging by.

[vroomian]

Oh my god Yrz/Bruce Wayne!!!

Okay it starts with Yrz being reborn in Gotham still poor as dirt, but realizing that It’s Gotham, Yrz does what he does best: grind. He learns to fight and hack and launches a Very Very Successful author career (mostly by ripping of hits from his past life, because morals are for suckers. What like jkr is gonna cross dimensions and sue him for making Harry Potter not antisememetic and white as fuck and including more LGBTQIA characters? (Get fucked Joanne :)))

(Also Yrz probably does some magic research because he just finds that shit cool)

By the time he’s seventeen Yrz is well on his way to being a multi millionaire with a strangle hold on popular culture (like he’d stick to just books ha ha. Yrz Has No Chill) just from mining his past life lol. That means being invited to Rich Person Parties, and inevitably meeting Bruce Wayne face to face.

And what face it is!

Bruce Wayne is canonicaly hot as hell and Yrz has never minded a fling. The two of them have a occasional sex thing (Bruce Wayne: am I not….completely straight????) (Yrz has no idea he’s caused a sexuality crisis in Batman of all people lol). I’m thinking that Bruce is like 7-10 years older than Yrz here because that’s funnier to me personally. This fling goes on for years, until Bruce adopts his first child and somehow Yrz gets tangled up in that mess.

And then the Feelings start catching up!!!

[wrongwiredmind]

No sure if someone noticed, if it was done on purpose, or if I'm just bored and noticing patterns where there are none, but the batboys are literally following each other,

I'll elaborate my weird thought process, the first letter of the surname of the older is the (almost) the first letter of the first name of the younger,

Like Richard (Dick) Grayson followed by J(G)ason Todd,

Jason Todd is followed by Timothy (Tim) Drake

And Tim Drake followed by Damian Wayne

R G => J(G) T => T D => D W

If we continue on the same fashion, we could predict that the next kid's name will start with a W.

William (Billy) Batson, anyone?

[emma-d-klutz]

Child in a homemade Robin costume: Batman, train me as your next Robin! Batman: No. Child: Please! Batman: Go home. Child: You’ve taken in loads of other apprentices. Why not me?  Batman: I only take on a child if I believe they will continue throwing themselves into danger whether they’re with me or not. Batman: [looms over them]  a҉𝔯e҉ y҉𝔬u҉ s҉𝔞y҉𝔦n҉𝔤 𝔦 𝔠a҉𝔫’҉𝔱 𝔰t҉𝔬p҉ y҉𝔬u҉? Child: ...Yes. Batman: Ok. [puts child on his shoulders] Your training starts tomorrow. Harley Quinn: D: MotherFUCKER, THAT’S HOW YOU GET KIDS????

[ilyalljasonsandnon-jasonsthesame]

Bruce crying because of these kids’ sad story

Bruce immediately taking them home and checking on them every 5 minutes!!! This man has serious baby fever, like, tell me he wouldn’t have kept them hadn’t they had a relative.

Also, “not wayward children” lol. Better get used to it, Alfred.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Bruce: No.

Damian: Father-

Bruce: NO.

Damian: His name is Steven.

Bruce: Absolutely not!

Damian: We weaponize fear, father. Steven will strike fear into the hearts of Gotham's criminals.

Bruce: You cannot ride a moose into battle!

Damian, astride Steven the Moose: He only lets me ride him. We will not need to worry about Steven turning traitor.

Bruce: Moose are not domesticated animals, Damian, you can't keep it.

Damian: Todd isn't domesticated either and you kept him.

Jason: Damn straight I’m not.

Bruce, sighing: Jason, you’re not helping.

Jason: And you expected otherwise?

Tim, walking in: Is that a moose?

Bruce: *sighs*

Tim: Huh. What’s its name?

Damian: Steven.

Tim: Cool.

[yourlocal-edgelord]

If u send me or if i find a bruce wayne rp account and imma hit that man up begging him to adopt me

gunna send him my whole ass resume

[chaoswarfare]

danny:[*shows up in gothem and joins a group of black haired blue eyed teenagers*]

danny: do we just sit here forever?

teen1: well, yeah unless batman shows up.

danny: what the hell is batman?

batman: [*swoops down to snatch an unsuspecting tim drake just hanging out and taking pictures of stuff*]

teen1 and 2: batman!

tim: [*shrieking as batman carries him away*]

teen1: bye tim!

danny: what the fu-

[phantoms-world-and-more]

Danny and damian held hostage by vlad

So during a gala danny was forced to attend because of vlad, danny was able to sneak away during the night

It was a few hours later that vlad tracked him down, but was looking confused asking how he got out again

It was only after coming back to the lab, seeing another black haired teenager swearing into his restaurants that vlad realised he kidnapped the wrong kid, and danny realised vlad actually kidnapped a kid

When they come in, the way they were talking made it obvious vlad mistook this kid for danny and now all of them are looking at the other 2

About an hour later they freed the kid and explained everything, vlad was in love with dannys mom and was trying to forcibly adopt him, the lab was for slightly-illegal experiments and vlad just...keeps danny in there when he's being to feral

Over the course of the conversation, danny and damian become friends, through their shared spite, pettiness and annoyance at billionaires

.

.

.

Half an hour later while damian and vlad fought for right to adopt danny the batfam come barging in on what?

To see damian with his sword out screaming at a grown man about how that was his new brother now

Said grown man was screaming back that danny wasn't

And a kid tied to a pole staring on in indifference

Until they noticed they were there...

Bruce almost had a stroke when damian said

"Father, this is Vladimir masters, he mistook me for danny and kidnapped me and this is danny our new brother"