#Brain won't shut up

[dearhru]

Oh nothing. Just up thinking about Simon, who adores the way you say his name.

Nothing special about it, really, but when he hears you calling him from down the hall, ready for bed, something stirs in his chest. Maybe it's the sleepy lilt to your tone, or the way he can see you peeking around the corner of your door as he approaches. Either way, he wants needs to hear it again.

𓂃

“Simon?” You murmur, weighing his name on your tongue. It's soft, barely a breath leaving your diaphragm. His frame swallows the light from the hall—engulfing you in his shadow. You're elated when he reaches for you.

“Again.” The rough, calloused pad of his thumb rests on the seam of your lips–fingers drumming along the slope of your neck. At your confused hum, he huffs impatiently. Crowding further into the doorframe, leaning closer to you.

“Say it again f'me.”

“Simon–” His lips are slightly chapped, melding to yours while a groan rumbles through his chest. Your eyes flutter, hazy vision narrowing in. Hands scrabbling for purchase, you anchor yourself to him–keening softly when he drags the flat of his tongue across your mouth, urging you to open up. To let him in.

He tastes like bitter smoke and toothpaste, lapping at the ridges of your hard palate while he hauls you up against him. Impossibly close as you stand now, it's not nearly close enough. Not for him. Not when his name falls from your lips so sweetly–almost reverent. Christ, how could he not sink his teeth in, shake you around a bit?

“Again.” Again, again, again.

He could drown in the pretty, shuddering sighs he draws from your throat. In the jump of your pulse beneath his fingertips–in you. There’s a gaping pit forming in his gut, hunger tainting the kisses he ruins you with.

You’re doing something wicked to him, love.

[never-oaky]

Me: *walks into a priceless private library of a ww1 general*

The worm in my brain: burn it down

....

[tinysnailtales]

Thoughts from reading Yona of the Dawn Ch. 4

Ch.4 in summary: the symbolic end of childhood, the (Yona, Hak, Soo-Won) trio backstory, and the history of Yona's loneliness and circle of support

The child left behind.

"Please don't cry, father. Mother's gone, but I'm still here"

When one parent is lost, the burden can fall especially hard on the child as the surviving parent relies on them and/or grows absent. In a way, the loss of one parent is the loss of both.

"You're not alone" – a BIG THEME for the story.

"I need to stay cheerful so my father doesn't cry"

I usually do the The Apothecary Diaries connection, but surprise! Here I'm calling on Fruits Basket and Tohru with how Yona must be there and behave a certain way for her father's benefit like how Tohru did for her mother after her father died.

"You're not alone. And...I have Soo-Won with me" – Yona has Soo-Won as a friend and a support and she has Hak, which we are repeatedly shown but Yona never seems to address (at least not yet or when looking at the past). Could it be she's simply taking him for granted? Has him as such a staple that he isn't noteworthy or "special"? I take it she doesn't realize how important he is to her yet. These two, both in denial in some regard.

"That's amazing, Hak! You cheered Yona right up" – no notes, just genuinely hilarious. And shows off that Yona-Hak dynamic we've come to know. The teasing and comfort.

"Where's my father?" "His majesty is extremely busy. He only just ascended the throne, remember." – poor Yona :( She tries to be there for her father, but feels a bit abandoned by him.

But! If King Il only recently ascended the throne and his wife recently died...is it possible that Soo-Won's father is behind Yona's mother's death?

Even in this memory/flashback, all is not well and there's a lot happening in the background that young Yona probably doesn't understand. This is ultimately a feel-good memory, but Yona is missing the full picture as she focuses on her personal relationships and trauma (not that I blame her).

Yona, Soo-Won, and Hak really are a trio of best friends.

"Lately I've been holding Yona's hand while we sleep, so this is just like normal" "You do that? I think I should leave. I'm in the way." "What?! All three of us should hold hands!" – Hak is already feeling some jealousy and his "I'm in the way" is very much the outline of his future approach to the Yona and Soo-Won situation. And Soo-Won's obliviousness to the lines being drawn within their group is also very telling.

Soo-Won is doing all this and expects us to believe that the way he acted with Hak and Yona was all a lie. Look at those hearts. He is a lil bean excited by everything.

"I didn't know he was your grandfather." "I'm an orphan. Grandpa and I aren't actually related." – Soo-Won didn't know about Hak's connections and status, these things didn't really matter to these kids. Only Hak already feels like he isn't "really" the heir to the Wind Tribe. He feels unworthy and like an outsider.

"But...Mundok came to see you. He must really love you, huh?" – yes, you tell him Yona! She is of course hurting on the inside because her father hasn't come to see her, but this is also a sweet moment between her and Hak. Don't let him be such a grump resigned to feeling unworthy!

Soo-Won's love and admiration for his father just pours out of him. He also admires Mundok and his strength, showing what Soo-Won values in a person and what he will try to emulate.

"Uncle Yu-Hon...he's so tough and stern. He's nothing like Soo-Won at all" – or so it seems, for now.

"Yon-Hi was determined to come too...But in her condition, it would be dangerous for her to fall ill, so I made her stay home" – what's up with Soo-Won's mom? Is she pregnant? What happened to her? Soo-Won (in present day) seems like he doesn't really have anyone.

"You mustn't make your mother worry. I want you to slaughter this sickness as soon as possible" – strength is valued above all else by Soo-Won's father too. It seems he is probably hard on his son too, at least having high expectations of him.

"It hurts so much, father...Don't abandon me."

Little Yona is a reflection of current Yona (and vice-versa) – in moments of hurt, she retreats into herself, becoming distant and depressed. She doesn't eat or take care of herself, as if life (or her life specifically) is not worth living/doesn't matter.

"Yeah...I'm sorry. I'm, sorry for thinking I was all alone."

More emphasis on Yona having Hak and Soo-Won– they're her people (along with her father, but he is not there for her as much).

But King Il does say Yona gets lonely when Hak (and Soo-Won) aren't there, and it's true–what does she do when they're gone? Loneliness is still a big part of her life. I said she lives for snatches of moments with Soo-Won, but moments with Soo-Won and Hak light up her life and drive her forward (though infatuated Yona seems to forget about the Hak of it all).

I wonder how Yona's loneliness shifts when Hak becomes her personal guard and is a more permanent fixture.

"Your father is the king. He's doing his job even at a time like this. I admire that." – Hak's words are to cheer Yona up, but I think he also demonstrates true admiration for duty.

Yona joyfully eating the terrible food her father made her really exemplifies how much she values acts of care from other people.

I said back in chapter 1 that Yona hasn't really thought of the future much beyond wanting to be with Soo-Won– she's not really ambitious or caught up in who she could be or what she could do, she's happy living for those small moments and the people she loves. She wants to love and be loved in return. She knows she's the princess in terms of the lifestyle she's gotten used to, but she hasn't considered the implications of being a princess– at least she hadn't until her father brought up that her position might put the ones she loves in danger.

I love the look exchanged by Hak and Soo-Won, expressing their mutual care for Yona.

A stab to the heart!

"I wish we could all sleep next to each other forever and ever, even if it meant having that cold" – and this from Soo-Won! At this point, he too had simple desires.

"We don't have to be sick. Staying together...is pretty simple." "You're right. Soo-Won...Hak...let's play again tomorrow. Let's play forever and ever..." –I love Hak being the one to point out that they can just choose to stay together and here we basically get a promise of that, an expression of the intention to remain close forever. Ouch.

Now that childhood and that promise is forever tainted. Yona (and Soo-Won and Hak) will never get it back.

I wonder if his father's death is what tainted it for Soo-Won and changed his heart. And now with the death of her father, Yona is forced to experience the same.

Soo-Won threw all of this, the love and the friendship, away. And basically ruined it for all of them, but I feel it isn't just his fault. Whatever we're missing from the story of King Il and his brother will shed some light on this.

It's sad that now even happy memories must be viewed through this new lens. Yona can't think of Soo-Won or her father without feeling the weight of what happened.

The pain continues when Yona wakes from her memory-dream-nightmare to find Hak gone. Her facial expressions are such a journey! From panic to relief at seeing Hak to feeling the full weight of sadness and grief as reality sets in.

She had her father, Soo-Won, and Hak, but now Hak is all she has left.

"The three of us...always used to gaze up at the sky together. That sky is nowhere to be see now." 💔

What was and the future that could have been are gone. And Soo-Won isn't unaffected, even if he pretends to be. He remembers it all too.

The symbolic end of childhood.

Soo-Won lets Hak and Yona go. "You're going to let them live?"

"Now that they've left the palace, there's nothing they can do to us. Anyway...we've got more important things to do." – In spite of everything, Soo-Won still cares for them but hides his affection behind practical justifications.

Our broken trio. Three different expressions.

Soo-Won is angry and determined to follow the path he has set on. Yona is lost and sad. And interestingly, Hak still looks to the sky.

Does he think of Soo-Won?

[thesolarangel]

Give the person you reblogged this from a good night's sleep without nightmares ✨

[flecks-of-stardust]

someone please convince me not to start a new project

[chasing-caws]

The agony that underscores the scene of Rooster and Maverick finally having the big blow out after all this time, all these years, is the pain of Iceman’s death and funeral being the next scene. The pain of Rooster digging deep in a way he knows that will hurt most, telling Maverick there will be no one to mourn him when he burns in, and the end of the scene just being Warlock entering and quietly saying “Maverick.” No other words, just the quiet confirmation. That the last person that Maverick believes would’ve cared is now dead and now he believes he has no one but he’s WRONG because if Rooster didn’t love him he wouldn’t have been so hurt by what he did and brb choking up gotta go cry over this shit

[nachtcrapp]

we all know this post right ?

well i made some new ocs [wip] instead of working on my already existing ... literally anything, i have so many wips kdjanckakfm

neither of them have a name yet and i have to clean it up a bit and set proportions right a bit but worms worming so hard rn

[void-687]

very important to note that it's almost 1am in my timezone rn, so if ur seeing my reblogs, know that it is way past my bedtime.

[angelskysposts]

Always happens to me . My 🧠 goes to 💩 every time I think 💬 oops 😬

[glacierruler]

This user is prone to rambling about a wide but very niche array of topics at any time should they be prodded to do so.

[birdgdgx]

i want my brain to be quiet for once

[irrelevaantidiot]

and there is a sound in the calm someone is coming to harm i press my hands to my ears its easier here just to forget fear and when i squinted the world seemed rose tinted and angels appear to descend to my surprise with half closed eyes things looked even better than when they were opened

[crwatters]

I feel like the "hack" to get bit of a song un-stuck from your head that postulates "we get bits of songs stuck in our heads because our brain is trying to finish the process but can't remember it, so just listen to the song again and it'll no longer be stuck in your head!" was coined by a trickster.

Sometimes it does work! But other times.

Other times. You listen to the song again, and now your brain remembers the whole song, so it plays the whole song over and over and over. So what was once a half-a-chorus long brain worm is now a 3 minute long brain worm. Which often is much much more annoying (especially because if I'm actively trying to get the song out of my head in the first place, it means I probably don't like the song or am very tired of it).

A solution that sometimes fixes the problem and sometimes brings you to the brink of insanity definitely sounds like the work of a trickster god tbh.

[randomuserray]

Sometimes you just gotta ADHD your brain into a coma

[rnp5324]

Waiter! Waiter! More silly Wolverine panels like this please!

The ultimate sandwich

[chasing-caws]

Whatever you do don’t think about Slider getting the call from Sarah that Ice is gone. Don’t imagine him standing at attention at the funeral, trying not to break down. Don’t think about him hugging Sarah, promising he’s there if she needs anything. Don’t think about Sarah promising the same in return to him. Don’t think about Ron going home and staring for hours at the photo of the class of 86’.