#Bookish Habits

[gildedbearediting]

Book Lover's Day

August brings us a few fun literary days which includes Book Lover’s Day for August 9. A day encouraging people to find a favourite reading spot and a good book among plenty of other things. Bona Fide Bookworm provides several ways to celebrate the day. I’d like to celebrate Book Lover’s Day, this year, by providing fun and practical gift ideas for the bookish person in your life. That bookworm…

[comparatist]

~ back after hiatus due to workload.

i have borrowed khaled hosseini's a thousand splendid suns from a close friend and have been reading it for sometime - i am currently in part 3, ch. 32.

pending work:

• a book review

• a rememberence note on begam rokeya sakhawat hossein to be submitted today.

[melodysbookhaven]

“When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that last blow that did it—but all that had gone before.”

James Clear, Atomic Habits

[ramblings-of-lola]

I think I've fallen out of love with reading.

Back in September I started school again and since then, I don't really have the desire to read. I thought being on break would help because I would have more free time but nope. When I do get the motivation to read, I don't absorb the book like I usually do. I'm not really sure how to describe it. It's like I don't enjoy it the same way anymore. So instead of reading like I used to in my free time, I mindlessly scroll online. I don't know what to do. I've tried making monthly, weekly, and daily reading goals and I can't stick to them. They overwhelm me so I still don't read out of avoidance. I try reading when I feel like it instead and I read maybe once a week. I try changing from reading a physical book to an ebook and then I switch back when that doesn't work either. I've never been in a reading slump this long or this severely and I just want to get out of it.

[milkywaiiiss]

my life in exam szn so far!! - (feat. my dog) 🐕 🕯️📚

[fearlesswolfstudies]

Saturday night, got lost writing in my office.

[geryone]

I will dog-ear pages in books until I die & there is nothing that anyone else can do to stop me

[kristealberts]

Three Books That Shaped My Worldview: A Journey Through Pages

Embark on a literary journey through the books that changed my life! 📖🌍 Which book shaped your worldview?

[irinaeunoia]

My Zettlekasten

[melodysbookhaven]

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.”

James Clear, Atomic Habits

[mistovyee]

Bamboo can barely be seen for the first five years as it builds extensive root systems underground before exploding ninety feet into the air within six weeks. Similarly, habits often appear to make no difference until you cross a critical threshold and unlock a new level of performance.

[ramblings-of-lola]

Me: stressed because I have so many books to read

Also me: scrolls tumblr stressfully instead

[anjumbai]

Atomic Habits by James Clear: Thoughts

"The ultimate purpose of habits is to solve the problems of life with as little energy and effort as possible."

Overall Rating: 8.5/10

For a while now, I have lacked motivation on improving myself because it just seemed too damn hard to make changes in my life. But at one point, I have to face a mirror or two and unconsciously I take a look at myself and think "wow. you useless prick." and again, I muster up the motivation for change. To me, motivation is temporary, and I can barely pass two days without losing it. That being said, what if a book told you that you don't need motivation to get by in this tough journey of self-improvement, instead you just need a good system of habits that you will follow without turning up "sigma male motivation video," on YouTube?

Atomic Habits is definitely that book. Seriously, it isn't one of those mental strength and motivation-based books. While mental strength can get you a long way, motivation can't really do the same in my opinion. So, our author James Clear, suggests that you shouldn't have to muster up motivation every single day to get by a long day of self-improvement tasks. Like reading a book, studying, hitting the gym etc. No, he'll tell you to make these things easy by throwing all of these into a system. Making tiny changes to these habits so they become more obvious to you, easier to follow, attractive and rewarding- all at the same time.

The book is easy to follow and has a lot of practical elements to it. It focuses on giving you how to apply the laws of atomic habits to your daily life and create your own set of atomic habits, if that makes any sense. The book is really practical and that's what made me wanna write about it. But of course, in the end self-help books are useless if you are not applying them in your daily life. My advice wouldn't be to read the whole book at once and then try applying it to your life, but instead read 1 page every day and make small improvements to your daily habits. That's how I was able to build a whole set of habits that I am able to follow day to day now. I do get the occasional "I don't wanna do this crap" every now and then, but it works out when you remind yourself to not repeat it a second time. Have one bad day a week instead of having it twice in a row.

Not only does it help you build good habits, but it also helps you break bad ones. And that's why I'd recommend this book to everyone as I was able to break a few bad habits with the help of it while making quite a few good ones too. I'll attach the habit cheat sheet below if you don't wanna read the book but need to make good habits. But let me show you a practical effect the book had one me.

Practicality: I love reading books, but it has become more and more difficult to even read one page of literature now. But I realized that I need to make it a part of my habit, so I applied the laws of Atomic Habits to it. I know it sounds corny but hear me out. First of all, I made it obvious [Rule 1]: Every time I laid down after lunch, the book will be in my bed, and I'd read one page of it before I took my nap. Keeping the book anywhere else wouldn't work, because there'd be friction attached to it and I just would not wanna get up and get my book. So, I took away all the friction away from it. Then comes the part where I make it attractive [Rule 2]: I can tick the "Read a book" off of my habit tracker which gives the feeling of sticking to a routine and being on a streak. Also, I'll get to sleep after I read the book. Sounds pretty good to me. Now, I'll make it easy [Rule 3]: I've set my goal to just reading 1 page. No more than that. Because I first need to become the person who reads books daily instead of trying to rack in high number of pages and then not read any books for days. I first need to repeat the habit of just showing up, then I can improve on it. Despite that, sometimes you'll see yourself reading more than just one page or doing more than what you set yourself to do. Which is good but remember to just show up to follow your habits. That's all. And finally, I'll make it satisfying [Rule 4]: when I actually tick the task off my habit tracker. That alone makes it satisfying to me. I can just go to sleep after that as a reward.

This is basically how I applied atomic habits. I've applied it in multiple cases, and it works, it really does. For those of you who'll struggle even reading the book, my advice would be to keep the book in a noticeable position and just read 1 page every day. Don't make it difficult for yourself.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book, and it has helped me a lot. My next weakness is a lack of focus so I'm reading Deep Work by Cal Newport now. So far, it seems much harder to follow than Atomic Habits, but I think I'll get by cause I'm able to read it every day. Try this book out, I don't think you'll regret it.

The Habits Cheat Sheet:

[booksandteaandstuff]

"Most of our faculties lie dormant because they can rely upon Habit, which knows what there is to be done and has no need of their services. But on this morning of travel, the interruption of the routine of my existence, the unfamiliar place and time, had made their presence indispensable. My habits...for once were missing, and all my faculties came hurrying to take their place."

Marcel Proust, Within a Budding Grove

https://bookshop.org/a/12010/9780812969641

[smalltalkentale]

Summary of: The Courage Habit by Kate Swoboda. Introduction:

Fear is the main hurdle we need to clear before we can manifest our dreams and desires. Being courageous means:

Investigating your fears.

Changing your emotional routines.

Reframing the stories you tell yourself and taking positive actions toward your desires.

Small Talk 1- What role does fear play in your habits and routines?

Acknowledge your fear.

Your fear doesn't always look like fear- avoiding a desire that feels illogical can be one-way fear manifests.

You get rewarded with relaxation when you ignore your fears, instead of engaging with them.

Engage your fear by challenging old fear-based routines.

Small Talk 2- Embrace your true/authentic desires.

Take your desires seriously.

Confront your fears.

And clear away barriers to your most courageous self.

Envision a liberated day and dream big. Write how you imagine living life if there was nothing to fear.

Focus on 3 primary-focus goals. They could be tangible and intangible. What makes me feel curious or excited? What patterns are you tired of? How might changing for the better help others in your life?

Step outside your comfort zone and try new things

Small Talk 3- You can't eliminate fear totally but you can stop it from having power over you and your life choices.

Fear Habits have a Cue-Routine-Reward Cycle.

The reward is the feeling you get when you give in to your fears. Every time you listen to self-doubt and negative self-talk and you give up- you temporarily reward yourself with peace and a silencing of the inner critic. But this comfort is only temporary- depression, lack of fulfillment, and unhappiness soon follow from ignoring your authentic desires.

There are 3 main types of fear routines:

The Perfectionist Fear Routine- the perfectionist is chronically dissatisfied and overwhelmed. She takes on too much, too soon and usually has impossible standards that set her up for failure and disappointment. She is usually suffering from chronic anxiety, stress, and lack of fulfillment.

The Saboteur Routine- the saboteur has commitment phobia; he expects big returns on small investments of energy and time. He often makes slight progress towards a goal and then rewards himself by taking a break which turns into eventually giving up. Bounces from thing to thing, never following through on projects started.

The Martyr Routine- the martyr is a people pleaser and emotionally unavailable to themselves. They put off their own goals and desires to meet the needs of others and then feel resentful when others don't seem to appreciate their efforts and sacrifice sufficiently. Uses the excuse that “people need them” as the reason why they’re too busy to do things that fill their cup. The martyr fails to prioritize their own dreams, desires, and needs in an effort to get love and acceptance- often believing that excessively catering to others is the only way to receive love.

The Pessimist- The pessimist is always thinking negatively. She comes up with reasons why something wouldn't work out or why every new idea or suggestion to make progress is not worth pursuing. The pessimist lives life operating on the assumption that good things can't and won't happen for her because it's "unrealistic". Often bitter and judgmental towards others as a way to mask her lack of fulfillment and fear.

Small Talk 4- Identify Fear and Change The Fear Routine

Access the body and identify when you feel fear. Do body scans from bottom to top. Feeling your body from head to toe. Fear often feels like knots in the stomach or constrictions in the chest area. Notice the sensations that occur in the body when fearful thoughts arise.

Identify the fear beliefs that drive you to avoid your desires/goals. What thoughts are your triggers?

If you have trouble feeling your feelings- practice accessing the body daily through physical activity such as dance, yoga, sex, or running- paying attention to the sensations in your body.

Put a container around the body when you access the body- after feeling your fear for a few minutes in silence/stillness-release the feeling by switching activities, talking a walk, or taking a few deep breaths before you turn your attention elsewhere.

Small Talk 5- Engage with the Inner Critic

Investigate the critic.

Write down your inner critic's actual words verbatim. What does the critic say about your dreams or when you try to pursue your goals?

Ask your critical voice to "Re-Do" please. Tell your inner critic: "I'm listening, but please rephrase your statement respectfully". For example, if your critic says "You're too stupid, you could never run your own business". Ask your inner critic to rephrase what they just said in a nicer, more loving way. Demand that your inner voice speaks to you like a loving friend instead of a hateful voice. A more loving response from your critic could sound like "I'm nervous about my abilities because I’ve never done this before and don't want to make a fool of myself or lose money". Now you understand the real fear behind your critic's mean words and can address your fears directly.

Your critic is here to help you and protect you from pain but it's angry and scared. Be loving and compassionate towards your critic. It just wants to be heard. Assure your critic that you hear its concerns and will be doing your best to avoid pain and negative outcomes- which is the only concern of the critic.

Small Talk 6- Reframe Limiting Stories

What does your critic say about your progress toward a goal? Reframe it in a positive direction. eg: if your critic thinks making a commitment to a job will weigh you down, reframe that message as "The commitments I'm making to this job will give me the financial freedom I need to pursue my desires"

Have empathy for your own struggle and pain.

Small Talk 7- Surround yourself with supportive people

Finding a courageous community.

Consider the people you already know who seem courageous-displaying vulnerability, trying to solve problems, listening and offering empathy, and showing kindness and compassion to others.

Pick a practice person- do a "reaching out behavior" - share the truth about your life and feelings with a friend instead of skipping over vulnerability.

If someone is disrespectful - tell them how you feel and if they remain unreceptive or rude- set a boundary if necessary and find someone else to talk to.

Initiate "reaching out" behaviors- ask people to share honestly about their life and then listen to their true feelings. Offering empathy and support.

Work through insecurity by demanding better self-talk from your critic.

Final Tips:

Look for a courageous community in person or online.

Scan the body for positive feelings as you do this work to overcome your fears and inner critic. Positive emotion often feels like openness, expansiveness, lightness, excitement, or relaxation.

Reflect on your progress regularly in a courage journal. Thank you for reading this Small Talk by ENTALE! Let us know what you thought of this summary at entalenewsletter@gmail.com or send me an ask. Comment below on what aspect most resonated with you and what books you'd like to see in the next Small Talk. I’d love to hear from you! Bye.