#Booby Drake

[psychokatrixxxy]

The batfam watches the first two Home Alone movies for "family bonding" as Bruce calls it. Bruce comes to greatly regret this decision when his children take it as a challenge to set up booby traps throughout the manor to see who 1) makes the most interesting trap and 2) how gets the most victims to fall into their traps.

I think that Damian would take it as an opportunity to prove his superiority as the blood son, very serious about it.

Jason would be disappointed after Alfred banned him from using anything that would cause too much damage to the manor or victim. "No, Master Jason. You may not place a bomb in the manor, no matter how weak you claim it to be."

Jason also puts his traps in places he is sure Bruce will fall victim to them.

Dick makes a few traps but not as many as his siblings. He flips over his siblings' traps and manages to avoid most of them.

Tim and Jason form an alliance to get Dick after he managed to make them fall into their own traps.

Bruce is happy his kids are "getting along," even if the manor gets a little messed up along the way. (Alfred makes them all clean up their mess.)

Bonus points if some idiot actually tries to break into Wayne manor and gets caught up in the mess.

Overall message, don't show the batfam Home Alone, they will take it as a challenge.

[adeptune01]

Tim: *opens a door* After you.

Damian: No, thank you, I never let anyone walk behind me. Seven out of ten attacks are from the rear.

Tim: Okay, well that still leaves a 30% chance I'll attack you from the front.

Damian: Yes, but it will be easier to stop. I can always block the blow, I can counter it-

Tim: *slaps him and leaves*

Damian: DRAKE! THAT WAS INCREDIBLY UNCOUTH OF YOU! FATHER WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED!

[mansorus]

[wormycomic]

[eternallyhauntingthehouseoflove]

Hi, I don't know If you take requests, but could you please right about the reaction and thoughts of the bat boys toward finding out their partner was pregnant? Please and thank you

A/N: I do take requests, love. And I've got you ❣️

Bat-boys find out you're pregnant🍼

Dick Grayson's first thought is worry. He doubts how he'll make it work; crimefighting, his job, then his relationship with you. And he'll wonder how Nightwing will interfere with his life, and how Bruce will react (he'll spoil the child endlessly).

Reassurance from Donna, Alfred, or Bruce will part his fog of worry and distance. He'll hit the ground running to rectify his isolation. I mean breaking the news to friends and family, arranging play dates with Roy and Lian.

"I'll be safer on patrol," he whispered," I promise, hun." You had broke down after so long of trying to remain calm. But seeing your lover return home with bruise after bruise would weigh anyone down. Especially one pregnant.

Dick's hand would always be on your belly, reminding himself that you both are safe and he's doing a great job. It's what he needs to hear, that he's making the city safer for you both.

He is 100% a handyman. Dick will build cribs, changing tables, repair toilets, fix creaky cabinets. And he'll baby proof the house." Don't worry, babe," he assured you." Just relax. It's just a clogged drain."

Jason Todd's first thought is if he'd be a good father, after everything he's been through and done. He even wonders if he deserves to be a father, or if he deserves a nameless grave. However, leaving is never and will never be an option for him. I truly think he'd be the most active out of the bat-boys.

Jason's love language has always been acts of service, and it would thrive during your pregnancy. Your house would be booby-trapped and SECURED. He'd teach you the basics of a gun, and he'd ensure your pregnancy cravings are stocked. Jason would also wash your back when your belly grew too large.

Jason would let you shop for baby and maternity clothes with his card. His only request is that you don't get the baby anything too vibrant because it's an eyesore. If anything, he'd prefer neutral tones or black on the baby.

The weather becomes his interest after the baby's birth." Do you think they need a jacket?" Is his favorite line." Don't you think it's a little hot for them to be wearing long sleeves," he'll wonder. Or the baby is swaddled and he'll question," do you think he's overheating? I'd be hot if that were me all wrapped up like that."

A child is the only thing to make him stand steadfast on his refusal to kill. Not Bruce, not Dick, not even you. Your child brought forth a new mindset, one of not wanting to see a killer reflecting in the innocent and chocolate eyes of his child (Jason's eyes are brown. Argue with a wall).

Tim Drake isn't as present as one would believe. His activity is inconsistent, and it's harder to reach him because he's usually working. But he wants you to sit with him, to bring the baby and let him play around in his office.

It warms his heart to return from a meeting and his baby is sprawled out on his pastel blue teddy bear blanket and cooing. You're dangling a rattle over him, and Tim would strut over and kiss you on the cheek." How's it going, love?" He'd ask and rub the baby's cheek." They being good?" His eyebrow would raise playfully.

The baby would be raised around Bruce and Alfred more than his actual parents. I also see Stephanie caring for the baby and even babysitting if you work or just need rest. Cass would swoon over it, so prepare for tons of peeled oranges and Cass making your bottles.

Alfred would surely read your baby literature. He'd be sitting in the library, baby on his lap while y'all rest, reading from a dusty and old book that's sure to ignite your allergies.

Damian would try his hardest to be a fun dad because he never got that. It's been well documented that he wouldn't dare put a child through his life. So I think the farthest he would go is teaching you enough to defeat the average Shadow/Assassin. But he would not want you killing.

I think he'd lean into Bruce's "No-Kill" mantra after having a child. If you even want to enter vigilantism; he'd understand if you choose not to. It's a thankless job; it's isolating and bruising.

But I think if the kid did continue training, that's when they'd truly bond. Damian and he/she would laugh and joke between rounds; he'd show them the best way to throw a punch, and he'd teach mercy. That's also when they'd meet the other side of their family---the Al Ghuls. But Damian would have strict stipulations on what they learn. No instant kill moves, no brainwashing, none of the narcissistic sentiments Talia filled his head with.

I also think you, Damian, and your kid would lead fairly healthy lives. Not overboard, but the occasional protein shake or morning run; maybe even a little weight lifting. Or if cardio is your speed, he'd install a home-treadmill or a pool.

Bruce Wayne's first thought would be his age. How he's climbing in age and his job usually doesn't lead to gold and sunsets. He'd be happy because he sees it as a second chance. His first two sons saw the angry and vengeful side of him, so that's how they grew up; Tim sought him, and Damian came stained with blood.

But with you and the baby, he could actually be a father. He could raise the baby from infancy and make bottles and hush cries, like he wanted to with Dick and Jason. He could show the baby his favorite movies and just talk to them, even though the baby would respond with drool and coos.

He wouldn't have to be alone anymore. Bruce would set his child on a straight path; the world has enough Bats and birds. They could just...be. They'd would carry on the Wayne name.

Bruce would spoil you and his baby rotten. He'd watch over the baby like a hawk; each cry, each coo, each babble would send Bruce into a fit of worry. He'd leap up from his seat and check the cradle, only to find a giggling baby with his feet in the air. Then he'd chuckle, which would make the baby giggle even more. " You got me, little one. You got me," he'd utter and return to the Bat-computer.

[babydipper]

okay, but imagine,, a rough arkham break out and tim and damian get benched because of injuries, but alfred is away for some reason, so with everything going around bruce has no one to force them to stay in the manor and well, hires a babysitter.

damian is positively surprised and irritated when the red-headed babysitter not only doesn't succumb to the sleeping dart in her back but also manages to outsmart drake's booby traps

edit: I am writing it, so if anyone wants a link once it's finished, please let me know below:D

[vodrae]

Gotham being her own entity apart of the rest of the World thus every meme have Gothamite's equivalent. If you have a smartphone in Gotham you have seen my honest reaction memes starring Brucie Wayne.

Instead of Joe Rogan and other UFC commentators when you have to express something is exceptionnal, you have Jason, Duke, and Steph when Cass bitchslapped Lex Luthor.

When you are fond of something, you have Harley Quinn's face, in her orange clothes wearing cuffs at Pamela Isley's conference on ecology.

When you are craving something, you have the rich cougars looking at Dick Grayson's ass.

When you are envious, shocked or horny, maybe all three together, you have the legendary video of Wayne Fondation to promote exercice and healthy lifestyle when Bruce Wayne appears in tank top and Wonder Woman who accepted to be there who could discover properly for the first time Brucie's F cup boobies.

"He said no pickles !" But it's Cass and Jason. Works with joke about power balance and size.

What's happening with Dick and Jason spotted with a SO always taller and ginger ? (WTF Wally is 6'10 ??)

Gotham is still not over discovering Tim Drake is a sleeper build. Why is he jacked like that ? Why even the BUTLER is ripped ?!

Every post trying to promote Joker is filled with Red Hood gif, Batsignal and Oracle dropping all the user's informations.

99.9% of the housewives between 18 and infinity in North America are watching the annual interview of Brucie by Clark Kent. Their discution is also a "me when I meet someone as weird as me" template

Stephanie's very much loud on the very hot microphone "Please step on me" to Dinah when they competed in a Family Feud episode againt the Queens. The others were laughing but nodding

Damian's mugshot at 4'8 for assault. He saw someone with a coat made with an endangered specie.

A spotted paparazzi picture with Catwoman, Batwoman, Bluebird, Poison Ivy and Harley named "The lesbian spectrum".

And a lot, enough to feed a country, of memes about getting adopted by Bruce Wayne.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

The stupid new drake meme song that i've been unwillingly subjected to hearing is reminding me how when Hey There Delilah first dropped in 2007 i loved it so much i made an OC nnamed Delilah who was an alcoholic shaman wolf girl with huge boobies

[fandomnerd9602]

Uncharted Territory

Lara Croft x Drake!Reader

For @deafeningsharkslimeempath

Outside the pub windows was the blurring neon glow of London. Inside, the fire crackled merrily, casting flickering shadows on the worn wooden beams. You nursed a pint of ale, eyes following the curve of Lara's neck as she sipped her tea.

"Lost in the Amazon again, I see," she teased, her lips quirking in a smile. Her braid swung back and forth as she leaned closer, the firelight highlighting the emerald flecks in her eyes.

It wasn't every day you got to share a fire with Lara Croft, world-renowned adventurer and the love of your life. You chuckled, taking a swig of my ale. "Just trying to decipher a cryptic pirate journal Nate unearthed from his latest escapade. Apparently, there's a hidden fortune of Captain Kidd somewhere off the coast of Madagascar."

Lara scoffed, a playful glint in her eye. "Knowing Nate, it's probably buried under a pile of bad puns and empty rum bottles."

You couldn't help but agree. "Sounds about right. Though I wouldn't put it past him to actually stumble upon the loot by sheer dumb luck."

You both fell silent, a comfortable silence settling between the two of you. Dating Lara meant a life far removed from the quiet bookstore job. Her adventures brought danger and excitement. Yet, there was something undeniably thrilling about holding her hand as she recounted tales of dodging booby-trapped temples and outsmarting ruthless mercenaries.

"Are you coming, (Y/N)?" Her voice broke the stillness, her gaze softening. "To Madagascar, I mean."

You hesitated. The thought of Lara facing another treasure hunt alone gnawed at your soul. But you also knew she craved these challenges, that her curiosity and thirst for knowledge were as vital to her as air.

"Not this time, Lara," You give her hand a squeeze, not wanting to let it go. "That's Nate's turf. You know I wouldn't want to steal his thunder."

A flicker of disappointment crossed her face, but she quickly masked it. "Of course," she said, her voice light. "Besides, I don't think that island could handle two Drakes running amok."

"True enough. Though I might send Sully along to keep him out of too much trouble."

Lara laughed, her giggle was the only thing that made your existence feel like it was something. "Do that. And tell him to pack plenty of wisecracks and rum."

The rest of the evening unfolds in a warm haze of conversation and shared laughter. Reminiscing about past adventures, from misadventures exploring lost Mayan temples with Nate to Lara's encounter with a mythical serpent in the Peruvian jungle.

As the fire dwindled to embers, Lara leaned her head against your shoulder. "You know," she whispers in your ear, "the flight to Madagascar doesn't leave until the morning"

"That's still a couple hours away" you gaze meets her.

"I think we can find one or two ways to make the time fly" she gives you a wink. "My flat's not far from here"

"Lead the way" you gather up your supplies and take her arm in yours.

And with that, you and her slip out into the night, your footsteps blend together into the London streets. One little night together, a bit of wine and a whole lot of mischief.

You are (Y/N) Drake, brother of Nathan Drake, and boyfriend to the bravest, most extraordinary woman in all the world.

[faeriekit]

Things that have happened in the council groupchat:

Dick Grayson UTI

"I don't think this counts as an orgy as much as it does...moral support??"

*SEVERE discussion as to Tim Drake Gender*

*absolutely zero discussion of Damian Wayne gender* ("he's a kid he'll figure it out as an adult")

"Wait is Dick pregnant while this is happening or what"

Onion dip :( RUINED

Donna just shows up to eat chips honestly

Dyke comes out via instagram selfies because SOMEONE didn't KNOW that no one else knew they weren't a cis dude

Bagels

*counts on our fingers* Wait which gender is this again

The lesbian tendency to stay friends with your exes

"We should make a discord server"

*Chroma goes away* QUICK START WORLDBUILDING

Something something ace Jason Todd boobies

[daddysfangirls-dc]

The Arrangement

CH 10 - First Date

Damian Wayne x OC! Female

Prev | Next

" So cute," Dick gushed as he watched Syn and Damian walk around the Observatory from one section to the next. It was the middle of the week, so the crowd wasn't significant. 

"You know, Dick, I've actually been trying to lose my status as a stalker," Tim says as he follows behind Dick, who is running around hiding behind things like a Looney Toons character. Yeah, he wasn't doing that. " You look ridicules," Tim said as he watched Dick fix his fake mustache behind a wall.

"Did they see me?" Tim turned to the couple. Syn smiled and waved while Damian just glared. He waved back.

"Nope".

Tim sighed as Dick ducked behind a placard. " They are going in for the show. I got tickets if you want to follow." he refused to look at his idiot brother.  

"Let's go; well, sit in the back." Dick rushed forward before the attendant closed the door. Tim apologized for his behavior. Damian and Syn sat in the middle area while Tim and Dick sat in the very back. " Why aren't you more interested? You normally would be all over this," Dick whispered asked.

"I am," Tim argued. " I'm just not acting like an idiot hiding behind bushes and walls and in the nonexistent crowds from two trained assassins. You look ridiculous," and to prove his point, he rips off Dick's fake mustache. He was displeased to know it didn't hurt him. 

"They know we're here, no point in hiding. That, however, does not give you an excuse to approach them. Leave them alone and just watch."

"Got it. You are the senior stalker here"

"I don't like you right now."

-

Syn smiled as Tim waved back lazily. " It's sweet, isn't it?" 

"Drake's stalker habits are not sweet. Although he'll be given credit for forgoing Richard's Scooby Doo performance."

"what's Scooby-Doo?" he just shakes his head. 

"Let us ignore them. Hopefully, they won't approach us." The couple continued on their date blissly ignorant to the chaos following behind them.

Damian and Syn forged a tour guide. Syn had enough knowledge to tell him everything anymore, and she did. Damian listened as she carefully spoke of the scientific findings as well as the ancient stories that came with them. Syn enjoyed the stories more than the knowledge, and he could tell. She just loved the folklore and mythology. History and Stories were always her favorites. The stories of the constellations. 

Although during the show, she was quiet, keeping her eyes above letting the presenter speak, she did shake her head or make a face at any mistakes or bad jokes. 

"What do they look like?" Syn whispered; he looked at her, confused. " What do they look like? The star is up in space. In your watch tower." 

Oh.

"In space, there is no smog or pollution, nothing to hide the stars. There is nothing to hide from the stars. The view is crystal clear. They are beautiful and bright. Might even see a few stars you've never seen before. You'd love it." he takes her hand gently, massaging her knuckles.

"I'll take you up there one day."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'll show you the stars and tell you the stories I know."

"I'd like that." She gently put her head on his shoulder for the rest of the show. After the show, they went to the gift shop, where Damian bought her blanket covered in stars.

"My first housewarming gift," Syn says as she squeezes the gift bag to her chest. Delighted to receive such a fluffy gift. Usually, the gifts she received were for her line of work. Knives, daggers, poisons, anything that could assist. It was nice to receive something soft for once.

"You said you needed blankets, and you were eyeing it." It was the thought that counted. "How is the house coming along?"

"Very well," and it was. The interior was done (that included the hidden weapons and booby traps), and the exterior was coming along. They were working on the windows and roof. " Just need furniture."

"No decor?" 

"Well, I'm not that artistic. I'll probably just hire a decorator or just wing it. It's not like I'll be hosting anyone anytime soon." She laughs lightly. Syn knows art; she isn't artistic, but she knows art. She isn't talented, but she has skills. She said she could make the place look pretty but not homey. It wouldn't feel like a home. She did not know how to make one.

They started to slow down as they made their way to the exit. 

"Perhaps," Damian says slowly," That could be a date. Acquiring furniture, that is." He kept his eye forward as he spoke a bit shyly about what her response might be.

" Funiture shopping. Bit domestic, don't you think?" She didn't know why, but she wanted to make sure, and she wanted him to be sure.

It was silent as they approached the car. He opened the door but put his arm out to stop her. He leans in close. His voice is quiet; only she can hear it. " We are to be married." His breath fanned her ear. This would just be practice then, right?" Unable to speak, she simply nods.

Giving her a gentle push helps her into the car. Damian contemplates whether to help her with her seat belt but decides against it and closes the door. Sitting in the car, Syn takes a moment for herself. That was a lot. It was a very intimate moment (at least for them). Him being so close and breathing against her. Her body was tingling.

Damian also took a moment to breathe outside the car. Being that close to her and smelling her perfume was good. Being so close to her made him feel things. He needed to get himself under control. Everyone was under control when Damian finally got into the car.

-

Fortunately, after the show, Dick gave up the So=cooby Doo performance and was behaving like a normal person. Or more like a normal stalker as he still eyed Syn and Damian like a predator.

Someone must have told security about the strange behavior because three security guards approached as they came to the gift shop. Tim spoke before they could even open their mouth, " Our little brother is on his first date, and we're following them. You know, making sure he treats her right."

"Aww, he's buying her something," Dick coos as he tries to peek around security. 

"We'll leave." 

"What ?! NO!" Dick begins to protest as Tim drags him away towards the exit. " What did he get her? I bet it was a plushie. I wonder where they're going next."

Tim and Dick watched as the couple slowly walked through the parking lot. They walked closely, their backs to them, so Tim couldn't see what they were saying. Dick was just cooing at how close they were.

"Oh, he's opening the door for her," Dick awwed at the gentlemanly act. But as Damian opened the door, he leaned down toward Syn. They were merely inches apart.

Ignoring Dick's soft chant of "kiss, kiss, kiss," Tim focused on the couple, specifically Damian, whose lips he could see. While he couldn't make out everything, he read 'to be married' and 'practice.' Drawing his own conclusions, he decided that he had seen enough of the couple today and wouldn't stick around for more.

"Time to go" he pulled Dick away.

"We need to follow them."

"No, we don't," Tim said, taking the keys from him. " We've seen enough. Leave them alone."

Dick pouted like a child but ultimately agreed to leave them alone, getting in the car and watching them drive in the opposite direction. 

"Batburger"

"Yeah, you can show me the pictures you took."

"I'm surprised you didn't take any."

"One, as I told you, I'm trying to lose the stalker title, and Two... What makes you think I didn't?"

[prismuffin]

Could you possibly do a Tim Drake x Crow like reader oneshot?

To give a small explanation, Reader helps Tim on some cases every now and then. Maybe, The reader breaks into a place and copies the paper flies, or gives him codes/ keys he needs. Or helping him find out if a Rouge's story is true.

Here is where the 'crow like' comes in, every so often when the reader sees that Tim's getting too stuck in his head. The reader steals something out of Tim's hand or utility belt, making him chase the reader across roof tops. Until Tim catches up and they end up wrestling over it.

A/n: STOP this is too cute😭😭 the little wrestling bit like aww 🫶🫶

Catch me if you can

Tim Drake x gn!crow-like!reader

( summary: when noticing that Tim was too deep in thought to pay attention to you, you snatch his bo-staff in an attempt to get him out of his head )

warnings?: light swearing, you stealing stuff,

!-!more under the cut!-!

You chuckled to yourself, eyeing Tim Drake on the rooftop you were meant to meet at. You were currently going there to give him some keys you swiped off of a dumb guard so that he can go into the next step of whatever his mission was. You weren’t even supposed to be helping him, you’d taken a break from this life for a while but it seems that he needed your expertise in swiping stuff once again.

Sighing, you decided to make yourself known to the pacing man on the roof. You jumped across the building, the impact of your landing alerting Tim immediately. “Did you get the keys?” He asked and you nodded with a yawn, swinging the keys around your fingers before tossing them to him. “Why do you need the keys to the banks vault anyway? You going rogue on me T?” He scoffed with a shake of his head, kneeling near the edge of the roof, looking at said bank. "There's a new rival gang on the loose and word is that they're going to try and rob this bank." He de-extended his bo-staff, resting his head in one of his hands. "I wanna booby-trap the vault before they can get to it, the only problem is I'm not sure when exactly they're gonna try robbing it. If I set up my traps too early then the-" You sighed as you listened to Tim ramble on, he always overthinks like this and gets nowhere. You crossed your arms, eyes fluttering over his form, noticing his bo-staff in his hand.

'ooooo shiny' is practically what you thought as you leaned over, flexing your fingers as you got ready to snatch. Quietly you slipped his bostaff out of his grip, grinning widely as you got it without him noticing. After inspecting it you noticed the small button that was planted on the side of the device. Pressing it, the bo-staff extended to it's full length and you smirked, staring back at Tim. He was still ranting, now holding his chin in thought as he threw out random plan ideas that no one was listening to. His breath hitched as he was hit in the back. He caught himself before he tumbled off of the roof and turned around with an unimpressed look that quickly turned into shock as he witnessed you spinning his staff in your hand. "What the? How the hell did you...?" He trailed off and glanced at his hand which previously held the staff you were holding. "You were talking too much." You shrugged and leaped back with a laugh as he lunged forwards. "Give it back!" You dodged another one of his attempts at grabbing back his staff and chuckled. "If you want it you'll have to catch me~" You smirked at his oh so adorable pout, his arms crossed as he sighed, looking down and away from you. "If you think I'm going to waste my time chasing you around then-" He lunged once again for the staff in your hand and you narrowly dodged it. Retracting the staff you laughed in disbelief at his attempt at tricking you. Though, you didn't have enough time to say anything as he leaped for you again. You extended the staff and tripped Tim, your laugh turning into a gasp as he grabbed the staff and brought you along with him.

You both wrestled on the floor of the rooftop, rolling back and forth with the staff extending and retracting randomly as he tried to get it out of your grip. With a huff, you rolled Tim onto his back, pinning his hands above his head while the retracted staff rested in your palm. He struggled underneath you, a blush rising on his cheeks as he felt your eyes watching him. "Do you yield?" You asked in a mocking tone and he stopped fighting against your grip. He closed his eyes and inhaled before nodding slowly. There was a beat of silence as you both caught your breath though your grip on Tim never loosened. He quirked his eyebrow, opening his eyes again to stare at you only to see a smirk resting on your face. "What?" "Nothing, just kinda like seeing you under me like this." Tim's face exploded in red as he stuttered in embarrassment. You laughed at his flustered state as you got off of him. He shot up, dusting off his body as he faced away from you, muttering nonsense as he tried to calm himself down.

"Here." He turned just in time to catch his staff which you'd thrown to him. A small "thank you," exited his mouth as he messed with the staff before placing it in his utility belt. "Oh and whatever you were ranting about earlier, I'm sure you'll figure it out." You placed a hand on his shoulder, "you always do." You nodded before letting him go, walking near the edge of the roof. "Call me if you need anything else." You called out from over your shoulder as you jumped down to leave.

----!----

( i had to rewrite this before work after accidentally deleting the entire middle paragraph LMFAO)

Thanks for reading! Have a great day/night!!

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Masterlist

[rhiaemrys]

So, I've been trying to identify who would escalate a prank war to Kevin McCallister levels in the batfamily and I've come down to Three (3) options. By all means feel free to have a (fun) debate about it, though. This is just my opinion.

Option one, the most understandable: Damian Wayne

Damian was effectively raised as an only child while also being told to be The Best. Of course he's chronically unable to back down once challenged and so no matter who started this, Damian will attempt to end it. It's an easy way to prove himself their betters while also being super petty. Also, he desperately want's to prove to Jon that he's not a stick in the mud. Also also, his brothers are insane and there's no telling what the next prank will be and who will be caught in the crossfire. Might as well make sure that any revenge is premeditated.

Option two, the wildcard: Cassandra Cain

Cass is also an only child. She was also raised to be The Best and is stubborn as hell so of course she gets involved in what she sees as a fun competition with her family. Her image of retaliation is skewed, though so she always ends up going slightly overboard. Not enough for anyone to get mad, but it's suspicious that it's always enough to make the person ticked off, yet not murderously enraged. She's also a little shit who can get away with anything with Bruce if she looks innocent enough. It drives her brothers up a wall because there's no evidence to prove she DID do it. Cass knows exactly what she's doing and she's not afraid to do it.

Option Three, the Actual Kevin McCallister: Tim Drake

Listen, okay. I had to put him here. On top of being an only child I swear to god this kid was obsessed with Home Alone. He absolutely would take the opportunity to MacGyver some shit to torture his siblings, bonus points if it hits Bruce too. You cannot convince me he didn't booby-trap Drake manor at some point while his parents were globe trotting. He doesn't have any excuse of pride about challenges, he's just a malicious actor here. Tim fears no retribution or god, he's nearly been killed several times and it hasn't stuck so why would it start now. You attack, and he attacks back a thousand times harder. You attack Tim and practically sign a waiver allowing him the freedom to ruin your costume or civilian lifestyle.

Cut here before the explanations of those who don't escalate (Need to emphasize here, they still may participate but they don't make it worse) because this has gotten out of hand

Reasoning for others to not be included:

Duke: He's unhinged yes, but he's not batshit insane. He fully understands that if he escalates, someone is going to make a murder attempt. He doesn't want to be the next Tim, that's not a position he wants to willingly put himself in yet. He'll contribute or join a team, but ultimately Duke can be found in the one Neutral Zone, Alfred's kitchen, watching with bemusement as his siblings attempt to turn the Manor into a war-zone. If pranked, he'll prank back, but not escalate. Also people feel a little like kicking a puppy when they prank him. Duke weaponizes this and uses it to get out of bullshit or pull off bullshit scot-free.

Stephanie: Maybe she's on a team. Maybe she's a free agent. She doesn't want anyone to target her specifically because then she truly has to be paranoid. Instead, she's always helping with pranks, making everyone indebted to her and thus allowing her to be the only safe person other than Alfred.

Barbra: I just. I cannot emphasize how much the family leaves her out of this. She will find a way to get back at you and it will end your idea of pranking her again. Unlike Alfred, who was universally known to be off-limits, she knew that someone would try something because all of that family is made up of little shits. This meant that she has to shut it down once it starts. She is immune. Inevitably someone will push the envelope and Babs will remind them that she control's their tech and information systems. She will however, assist if a prank gets particularly nasty and someone needs to shut the war down. Typically she's recruited by Alfred or Bruce to end the war where it stands once it starts to get to the Property Destruction Level.

Jason: He was asked not to participate by Alfred and Jason willingly obeys only Alfred. This is specifically because of one incident when this happened with Tim, Dick, and him. Back when he and Tim were getting along somewhat and Dick had somehow pissed both of them off, they escalated The War. It ended with three new craters in the warehouse district, The Riddler so traumatized that he completely avoids doing Rouge Activities when Red Robin and Red Hood are on speaking terms, and Dick stuck in a box on his way across the country. Instead, Jason enjoys being on Stephanie's side of aiding whoever is funnier. He is not off limits though. Oh dear god he is not off limits. He is the victim of so many pranks. He just cannot retaliate. In turn, he turns into a snitch for this event, and only this event. Jason will alert Alfred of any destructive pranks. He will let Alfred know of birdies staying up too late, of birdies jumping off buildings because superman will catch them, of birdies doing general dumb ass restricted shit. Jason will make the pranker's life a living hell.

Dick: Dick matches the energy of the prank. He's petty so it will always be perfectly organized so that it causes maximum damage while never managing to be something one can reasonably escalate against. (For example, Tim once hid all of Dicks cereal in increasingly impossible places and swapping the boxes so they were labeled wrong. In retaliation every single one of Tim's coffees became decaf. They're the exact same flavor, but the caffeine content is so low it barely counts as coffee. Tim didn't notice until he went on a case bender and passed out thirty hours in despite drinking eight cups of coffee. This was weeks later after the war ended. There was no retaliation. Tim still has no clue how Dick got in, out, AND made the perfect replica) Damian learned at the feet of the master, but unfortunately has too much localized anger to play it to perfection like Dick can.

Cullen and Harper: They don't live at the Manor. They refuse to participate. They'll help small scale, but they're both sensible enough to know that anymore makes them targets.

Bruce: I don't need to explain this. He's tired. He doesn't want to be here. He never actively participates and yet always ends up in the crossfire. Can people please stop pranking each other on patrol? Must you dye Tim's suit neon pink? It's really not conducive to being the cities silent protectors.

[ramusn]

Batbros live like that?

So my headcanon for how these dudes live is a similar to everyone else I guess? But also a bit more based on the comics ?

Like Dick is just your average bachelor, his apartment is pretty clean, not spotless or anything of the sort, you know there are some mystery take out on the fridge that should have been thrown out at least two days ago, but who got the time? He also keeps each of his brothers favorite snacks around.

Jason tho? No, Jason’s is spotless, it is tastefully furnished, but also somewhat bare, there are some hidden pictures of his family, but otherwise you would think no one lived there because it is so clean.

Timothy Drake is a pig, his room in Wayne manor and his apartment are black holes that connect with each other, once he tried to same day deliver clean dishes over just doing them and was only stopped due to Alfred’s sense tingling.

Damian, Damian has a fairly clean room, but full of hidden weapons and a box that is booby trapped where he has family keepsakes.

[ghost-format]

Was watching/reading Addams family and Batfam crossover stuff

So slightly altered zany idea

What if the Drake family is actually apart of the Addams family?

So like, Tim’s parents are archeologists, and they love to find history, and curses, and going through booby-traps. But Tim just sorta fails to ever mention certain details to the Bats, because it doesn’t seem important.

Tim Drake, who was stalking and taking photos of vigilantes as a child and never got caught somehow? Tim Drake with his somewhat strange but very strong sense of morals? Yeah he’s an Addams though and though, really.

And after Tim’s adopted by Bruce, some of the Addams family visit, because the bats are apart of the family now! How wonderful! We should celebrate!

Chaos ensues

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Keep it in Your Heart

If we're doing another leg of this flashback, it's time to dust off a old concept that proved right with the last time we stepped away. We...might not be coming back to how this situation with Saturn gets resolved. We may come in directly on the resolution. There are a lot of ways that can go. But for the moment I just wanted to focus on a few things that are relevant. Starting with the chapter I borrowed a title from here, 603. Viz slightly changes it, but the noteworthy "heart" theme is part of the whole package, one you probably remember with this scene.

Of course it's relevant that Kuma asked for this final mission. This direction for the flashback has a high chance of us seeing an alternate view of the story we all know and love. Really, really would like to see this cover Kuma's POV on Thriller Bark. What I forgot until looking at this chapter again was how much the Straw Hats, particularly Franky, know about the cyborg project. Franky offering a dire warning that is quite pertinent; that Kuma is someone they're indebted to...but if they ever cross paths again he will be an emotionless weapon.

There is no such thing as coincidence, only fate. That was how Van Augur put it. Remember, that was when the story was taking an odd moment between Luffy and Blackbeard and spelling out the thread that had been running since Drum. How a quirk of fate tied the brothers' story together. It's interesting to see it on display here leading into explaining just how Kuma protected the ship. Had a hand in setting the Straw Hats up to learn what they'd need to take on the New World.

I used that quote from Augur in one of our earliest Post-Wano Musings, titled Holding Pattern which covered Chapters 1062 & 1063. Looking back, man it's cool we're still looking at Bonney the same way and Drake has the same potential. I really dug up the coincidence thing because Law having boobies was so on point. 1063 was the first time I really started wondering if there might be a real reason to keep the hopium around because it was so weird then to cut away to Law like that. Egghead has gotten a lot longer than we imagined then but really leaned into those early threads we were looking at.

Those who have been following along would recall a while ago I stopped fully caring about this from the perspective of Kiku actually being #10 or not and more that using her as a guide was clearly paying off enough I'mma keep doing it until we get our answer. So then it's worth noting it may be no coincidence, but fate that made Kuma's decision to split the Straw Hats land them at the right time to stumble into the Akazaya's revenge plot. Though the length of their time apart is out of Kuma's paws even if he knew about it. That was just one thought looking back on 603 here.

You even had Caribou stumble in at the end. Don't forget him. My hunch right now is if the Blackbeard ship is actually Moria & Perona then Caribou fits their aesthetic to a T. That's not a bad vehicle to show some of what happened during the skipped night in the lab. Reading that old review was a great reminder; some of the little oddities we noticed early did and continue to snowball.

As for Kuma? Who knows where the flashback goes from here. I'd love some deep Makino lore but they could just be ships passing in the night. Where Bonney's story runs parallel will also be telling. I'll dust off one classic though. The longer this flashback goes the better the odds we come back to the present in a weird fashion. I don't think this 1100 turn can be ended in just one followup chapter either. Gut says wait til the first one of a new year, those are always big too.

Hell...worth mentioning too. If this is our second segment like this in the arc, what does it mean if/when we break down into a third? Just saying, we already had the idea Egghead was the 4th more accurate part of Wano doing a Rashomon type thing. What if that story itself is a nested Rashomon narrative? I will make and send Oda an award for literary brilliance if he does that and it's really, really starting to feel like we might.