#Booby Drake

[psychokatrixxxy]

The batfam watches the first two Home Alone movies for "family bonding" as Bruce calls it. Bruce comes to greatly regret this decision when his children take it as a challenge to set up booby traps throughout the manor to see who 1) makes the most interesting trap and 2) how gets the most victims to fall into their traps.

I think that Damian would take it as an opportunity to prove his superiority as the blood son, very serious about it.

Jason would be disappointed after Alfred banned him from using anything that would cause too much damage to the manor or victim. "No, Master Jason. You may not place a bomb in the manor, no matter how weak you claim it to be."

Jason also puts his traps in places he is sure Bruce will fall victim to them.

Dick makes a few traps but not as many as his siblings. He flips over his siblings' traps and manages to avoid most of them.

Tim and Jason form an alliance to get Dick after he managed to make them fall into their own traps.

Bruce is happy his kids are "getting along," even if the manor gets a little messed up along the way. (Alfred makes them all clean up their mess.)

Bonus points if some idiot actually tries to break into Wayne manor and gets caught up in the mess.

Overall message, don't show the batfam Home Alone, they will take it as a challenge.

[wormycomic]

[pomegranatelifethis]

Sister

The Wayne Manor was a fortress of brooding intensity, except for one glaring anomaly: you. Y/N Wayne, younger twin to Damian Wayne by a measly two hours, were the antithesis of everything the League of Assassins had tried to forge into your brother. Where Damian was disciplined, you were lazy. Where he was stoic, you were a walking smile. And where he thrived on pain and perfection, you’d rather nap on the couch with a bag of Cheetos.

It was the first day of summer, and the Gotham heat was already unbearable. The Batfamily was gathered in the Batcave for a mandatory training session, orchestrated by Bruce Wayne himself. You, however, were sprawled across a rolling chair, spinning lazily, your Robin suit half-unzipped to reveal a tie-dye T-shirt underneath.

“Y/N, get up and join the sparring session,” Bruce’s voice echoed, stern but tinged with the exhaustion of dealing with you for sixteen years.

You grinned, kicking your feet up on a console. “Pass. My muscles are on vacation. Besides, I’m morally opposed to sweating.”

Damian, mid-kata with a katana, shot you a glare that could curdle milk. “You’re an embarrassment to the Wayne name. Get up before I drag you.”

You blew a raspberry, unfazed. “Try it, Dami. I’ll cry, and then Alfred will make you feel guilty with his disappointed eyebrow.”

Tim Drake snorted from his computer station, while Dick Grayson, ever the peacemaker, tried to mediate. “Come on, Y/N, just one round. It’s good for you.”

“Nope!” you chirped, popping a Cheeto into your mouth. “Pain and I broke up years ago. We’re not getting back together.”

Jason Todd, leaning against a stalactite, laughed. “Kid’s got a point. Why suffer when you can eat snacks and vibe?”

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. “Y/N, you’re a Wayne. You need to be prepared—”

“For what? A villain who challenges me to a nap-off? I’d win.” You winked, and even Damian’s scowl twitched into something less murderous.

Despite your antics, Damian was fiercely protective. He’d never admit it, but the idea of you getting hurt—or even mildly inconvenienced—made his blood boil. You were his twin, his responsibility. The League had trained you both, but you’d rejected their ways, choosing laughter over lethality. Damian, though, saw you as a fragile flower in a world of thorns, even if you were more like a weed that thrived in chaos.

As the training session wrapped up, you skipped out of the Batcave, humming a pop song. Damian followed, because of course he did. “Where are you going?” he demanded.

“To the kitchen. Alfred’s making cookies, and I’m gonna steal the dough.” You flashed a mischievous grin.

“You’ll ruin your appetite,” he muttered, but he trailed you anyway, like a grumpy shadow.

In the kitchen, Alfred was indeed baking, his apron pristine despite the flour everywhere. You leaned over the counter, batting your eyelashes. “Alfred, my favorite human, can I have a teensy bit of cookie dough?”

Alfred’s eyebrow arched, but he handed you a spoonful. “Only because you asked politely, Miss Y/N.”

Damian scoffed. “You’re spoiling her.”

“Says the boy who hides her from every mission,” you teased, licking the spoon. “I’m not a baby, Dami.”

“You’re reckless and weak,” he shot back, but his tone softened. “You need to take this seriously.”

You rolled your eyes, hopping onto the counter. “Lighten up, twin. Life’s too short to be so… you.”

That night, after everyone had retired, you sneaked into the library, a place you rarely visited unless you were hiding from chores. You weren’t looking for anything specific, just bored and curious. That’s when you found it: a dusty, leather-bound book tucked behind a shelf, its cover etched with strange symbols.

“Oooh, spooky,” you whispered, giggling. You opened it, expecting boring Latin or something equally dull. Instead, a puff of golden dust exploded in your face, making you cough. “Gross! Who booby-traps a book?”

The room spun, your vision blurred, and the last thing you heard was your own voice muttering, “Well, that’s not good.”

---

When you woke up, everything was… big. The library floor loomed like a football field, and the bookshelves towered like skyscrapers. You tried to stand, but your legs felt weird—short, furry, and way too many. You glanced down and screamed, except it came out as a high-pitched *mrrrow!*

You were a cat. A small, fluffy, black-and-white cat with big, bewildered eyes.

“Oh, come ON!” you tried to say, but it was just more meowing. You scampered to a mirror, your tiny paws slipping on the polished floor. The reflection confirmed it: you were adorable, with a white patch shaped like a heart on your chest and whiskers that twitched with every emotion.

“Okay, Y/N, don’t panic,” you thought, pacing in a circle. “You’re a cat. This is fine. You’ve handled worse. Like that time you accidentally set off the Batmobile’s alarm.”

Your first instinct was to find Damian. He’d know what to do, even if he’d lecture you for eternity. You bolted out of the library, your new body surprisingly agile despite your human self’s aversion to exercise. The manor was a maze, but you followed the scent of Alfred’s coffee to the kitchen.

Damian was there, sipping tea, looking as grumpy as ever. You leaped onto the counter, skidding into a bowl of fruit. Apples rolled everywhere, and Damian’s eyes narrowed.

“What is this creature doing here?” he demanded, glaring at you.

“It’s me, you idiot!” you yowled, but it just sounded like an angry cat. You swatted at his hand, and he recoiled.

“Disgusting beast,” he muttered, reaching for you. You dodged, because if Damian caught you, he’d probably lock you in a cage “for your safety.” Instead, you jumped onto his shoulder, nuzzling his cheek to get his attention.

“Stop that!” he snapped, but he didn’t push you off. His eyes softened slightly. “You… remind me of someone.”

“Wow, rude,” you thought, but you purred anyway, hoping to charm him. It didn’t work. He set you on the floor and called for Alfred.

“Pennyworth, there’s a stray in the manor. Remove it.”

Alfred appeared, eyeing you with curiosity. “She’s rather charming, Master Damian. Perhaps she wandered in?”

“She’s a nuisance,” Damian said, but he kept glancing at you, like he sensed something familiar.

You decided to lean into your new form’s potential for chaos. You knocked over Damian’s tea, sprinted across the counter, and dove into a pile of flour Alfred had set out for baking. The kitchen erupted in white dust, and Damian’s shout of “YOU LITTLE DEMON!” was music to your ears.

--

The next few days were a blur of mischief. As a cat, you discovered you could get away with almost anything. You shredded Jason’s favorite leather jacket, blaming it on “natural instincts.” You hid Tim’s USB drive under the couch, watching him tear the manor apart looking for it. You even napped on Bruce’s Batcomputer, leaving a trail of fur that made him sneeze for hours.

Damian, though, was your favorite target. You’d sneak into his room, knock over his sketchbooks, and curl up on his pillow, knowing he’d be torn between kicking you out and secretly finding you cute. He named you “Shadow,” which you found hilarious since it was so close to your actual codename, Dusk.

But Damian was also the most suspicious. He’d stare at you, muttering about how your eyes were “too intelligent” for a cat. He even set up a camera to catch you doing something “unnatural.” You thwarted him by batting the camera off the table, because screw surveillance.

The rest of the Batfamily was smitten. Dick cooed over you, calling you “the cutest vigilante ever.” Tim built you a tiny cat-sized Batmobile, which you promptly used to chase Alfred’s vacuum cleaner. Jason fed you scraps of his burgers, declaring you “the only sane member of this family.” Even Bruce, the stoic Batman, let you nap on his lap during briefings, though he’d deny it if anyone asked.

Your human absence, however, was causing problems. Damian was frantic, tearing through Gotham to find you. He interrogated everyone, from Alfred to the mailman, and even hacked into your phone, only to find it dead in your room. His overprotectiveness was in overdrive, and you felt a pang of guilt every time you saw his worried face.

You needed to turn back, but the book that caused this mess was written in a language you couldn’t read (not that you could turn pages with paws). You tried to communicate, but your attempts—scratching “HELP” into a table or meowing Morse code—were dismissed as “cute cat behavior.”

---

By mid-summer, you were enjoying cat life a bit too much. You’d discovered you could sneak into the Batmobile and hitch rides to Gotham, where you’d terrorize pigeons and steal fries from food carts. But your antics were drawing attention. A local news outlet dubbed you “Gotham’s Mystery Cat,” and suddenly, every villain from Catwoman to the Riddler wanted to claim you as their mascot.

Catwoman, in particular, was obsessed. She scooped you up during one of your city adventures, cooing about how you’d be her “perfect partner in crime.” You hissed and clawed, but she just laughed, petting you until you begrudgingly purred. Damian, who’d been tracking you (because of course he was), showed up in his Robin suit, demanding your return.

“She’s not yours, kitten,” Selina purred, holding you up.

“She’s not yours either!” Damian snapped, and you could’ve sworn he was jealous. He snatched you back, cradling you like you were made of glass. “Stay away from my… cat.”

You wanted to laugh, but you also felt a surge of warmth. Damian might be a pain, but he cared. A lot.

Back at the manor, you decided it was time to get serious about turning human again. You sneaked into the Batcave, where Tim was analyzing the book. He’d figured out it was tied to an ancient curse, but the reversal spell required a “willing heart” and a “sacrifice of pride.” You had no idea what that meant, but you were pretty sure it involved groveling, which you hated.

You pawed at Tim’s keyboard, trying to type a message. All you managed was “IAMYNFIXME,” but Tim’s eyes widened. “Wait… Y/N? Is that you?”

You nodded frantically, purring for emphasis. Tim cursed, calling for the others. Within minutes, the Batfamily was assembled, staring at you like you were a science experiment gone wrong.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Dick asked, scratching your ears.

“Because she’s an idiot,” Damian said, but his voice cracked with relief. He picked you up, holding you close. “You’re never leaving my sight again.”

---

The reversal spell was tricky. Bruce and Tim deciphered that the “sacrifice of pride” meant admitting vulnerability, something you and Damian both struggled with. You, because you hated looking weak. Damian, because he was, well, Damian.

In the Batcave, with the family gathered, Tim read the spell aloud. You sat in a circle of candles, feeling ridiculous as a cat. The spell required you to “speak your heart,” but since you could only meow, Damian had to do it for you.

He knelt beside you, his face a mix of embarrassment and determination. “Y/N… you’re my twin. My responsibility. I’ve always protected you because… because I’m scared of losing you. You’re not weak, even if you skip training. You’re strong in ways I’m not. I’m… sorry for underestimating you.”

You stared, stunned. Damian, admitting he was scared? That was the sacrifice of pride, all right. You felt a tear slip down your furry cheek, and you nuzzled his hand, purring softly.

The candles flared, the room glowed, and suddenly, you were human again, sprawled on the floor in your tie-dye shirt and Robin pants. “Well, that was a trip,” you croaked, grinning.

Damian tackled you in a hug, then immediately shoved you away. “Don’t ever do that again!”

The Batfamily erupted in laughter, relief, and teasing. Dick ruffled your hair, Jason handed you a burger, and Tim promised to burn the cursed book. Bruce just nodded, a rare smile tugging at his lips.

---

The rest of the summer was less magical but just as chaotic. You went back to your lazy, smiley self, but you made a small effort to train with Damian—not because you liked it, but because you wanted to show him you could. He, in turn, eased up on the overprotectiveness, though he still hovered like a grumpy hawk.

You and the Batfamily had countless adventures: stopping a Penguin heist, pranking Tim with glitter bombs, and convincing Alfred to let you throw a manor-wide water balloon fight. Through it all, you realized how much you loved your dysfunctional family, even if they drove you nuts.

On the last day of summer, you and Damian sat on the manor’s roof, watching the sunset. You leaned against him, munching on Cheetos. “So, twin, admit it. You kinda liked having me as a cat.”

He snorted. “You were a menace.”

“But you loved me anyway,” you teased, nudging him.

He didn’t reply, but his arm slipped around your shoulders, and that was answer enough.

[eternallyhauntingthehouseoflove]

Hi, I don't know If you take requests, but could you please right about the reaction and thoughts of the bat boys toward finding out their partner was pregnant? Please and thank you

A/N: I do take requests, love. And I've got you ❣️

Bat-boys find out you're pregnant🍼

Dick Grayson's first thought is worry. He doubts how he'll make it work; crimefighting, his job, then his relationship with you. And he'll wonder how Nightwing will interfere with his life, and how Bruce will react (he'll spoil the child endlessly).

Reassurance from Donna, Alfred, or Bruce will part his fog of worry and distance. He'll hit the ground running to rectify his isolation. I mean breaking the news to friends and family, arranging play dates with Roy and Lian.

"I'll be safer on patrol," he whispered," I promise, hun." You had broke down after so long of trying to remain calm. But seeing your lover return home with bruise after bruise would weigh anyone down. Especially one pregnant.

Dick's hand would always be on your belly, reminding himself that you both are safe and he's doing a great job. It's what he needs to hear, that he's making the city safer for you both.

He is 100% a handyman. Dick will build cribs, changing tables, repair toilets, fix creaky cabinets. And he'll baby proof the house." Don't worry, babe," he assured you." Just relax. It's just a clogged drain."

Jason Todd's first thought is if he'd be a good father, after everything he's been through and done. He even wonders if he deserves to be a father, or if he deserves a nameless grave. However, leaving is never and will never be an option for him. I truly think he'd be the most active out of the bat-boys.

Jason's love language has always been acts of service, and it would thrive during your pregnancy. Your house would be booby-trapped and SECURED. He'd teach you the basics of a gun, and he'd ensure your pregnancy cravings are stocked. Jason would also wash your back when your belly grew too large.

Jason would let you shop for baby and maternity clothes with his card. His only request is that you don't get the baby anything too vibrant because it's an eyesore. If anything, he'd prefer neutral tones or black on the baby.

The weather becomes his interest after the baby's birth." Do you think they need a jacket?" Is his favorite line." Don't you think it's a little hot for them to be wearing long sleeves," he'll wonder. Or the baby is swaddled and he'll question," do you think he's overheating? I'd be hot if that were me all wrapped up like that."

A child is the only thing to make him stand steadfast on his refusal to kill. Not Bruce, not Dick, not even you. Your child brought forth a new mindset, one of not wanting to see a killer reflecting in the innocent and chocolate eyes of his child (Jason's eyes are brown. Argue with a wall).

Tim Drake isn't as present as one would believe. His activity is inconsistent, and it's harder to reach him because he's usually working. But he wants you to sit with him, to bring the baby and let him play around in his office.

It warms his heart to return from a meeting and his baby is sprawled out on his pastel blue teddy bear blanket and cooing. You're dangling a rattle over him, and Tim would strut over and kiss you on the cheek." How's it going, love?" He'd ask and rub the baby's cheek." They being good?" His eyebrow would raise playfully.

The baby would be raised around Bruce and Alfred more than his actual parents. I also see Stephanie caring for the baby and even babysitting if you work or just need rest. Cass would swoon over it, so prepare for tons of peeled oranges and Cass making your bottles.

Alfred would surely read your baby literature. He'd be sitting in the library, baby on his lap while y'all rest, reading from a dusty and old book that's sure to ignite your allergies.

Damian would try his hardest to be a fun dad because he never got that. It's been well documented that he wouldn't dare put a child through his life. So I think the farthest he would go is teaching you enough to defeat the average Shadow/Assassin. But he would not want you killing.

I think he'd lean into Bruce's "No-Kill" mantra after having a child. If you even want to enter vigilantism; he'd understand if you choose not to. It's a thankless job; it's isolating and bruising.

But I think if the kid did continue training, that's when they'd truly bond. Damian and he/she would laugh and joke between rounds; he'd show them the best way to throw a punch, and he'd teach mercy. That's also when they'd meet the other side of their family---the Al Ghuls. But Damian would have strict stipulations on what they learn. No instant kill moves, no brainwashing, none of the narcissistic sentiments Talia filled his head with.

I also think you, Damian, and your kid would lead fairly healthy lives. Not overboard, but the occasional protein shake or morning run; maybe even a little weight lifting. Or if cardio is your speed, he'd install a home-treadmill or a pool.

Bruce Wayne's first thought would be his age. How he's climbing in age and his job usually doesn't lead to gold and sunsets. He'd be happy because he sees it as a second chance. His first two sons saw the angry and vengeful side of him, so that's how they grew up; Tim sought him, and Damian came stained with blood.

But with you and the baby, he could actually be a father. He could raise the baby from infancy and make bottles and hush cries, like he wanted to with Dick and Jason. He could show the baby his favorite movies and just talk to them, even though the baby would respond with drool and coos.

He wouldn't have to be alone anymore. Bruce would set his child on a straight path; the world has enough Bats and birds. They could just...be. They'd would carry on the Wayne name.

Bruce would spoil you and his baby rotten. He'd watch over the baby like a hawk; each cry, each coo, each babble would send Bruce into a fit of worry. He'd leap up from his seat and check the cradle, only to find a giggling baby with his feet in the air. Then he'd chuckle, which would make the baby giggle even more. " You got me, little one. You got me," he'd utter and return to the Bat-computer.

[babydipper]

okay, but imagine,, a rough arkham break out and tim and damian get benched because of injuries, but alfred is away for some reason, so with everything going around bruce has no one to force them to stay in the manor and well, hires a babysitter.

damian is positively surprised and irritated when the red-headed babysitter not only doesn't succumb to the sleeping dart in her back but also manages to outsmart drake's booby traps

edit: I am writing it, so if anyone wants a link once it's finished, please let me know below:D

[evaningotham]

i need a Tim Drake Home Alone AU thats just newly resurrected Jason trying to attack him at home, and bc its happening at his HOUSE, Tims like “oh this is ME business, not Robin business” and booby traps his entire home

meanwhile Jasons like “I knew this kid wasn’t good enough to be Robin- OHMYGOD ARE THOSE NAILS WHY IS THAT STICKY THATS FIRE OMFGWHATTHEF UCK

[vodrae]

Gotham being her own entity apart of the rest of the World thus every meme have Gothamite's equivalent. If you have a smartphone in Gotham you have seen my honest reaction memes starring Brucie Wayne.

Instead of Joe Rogan and other UFC commentators when you have to express something is exceptionnal, you have Jason, Duke, and Steph when Cass bitchslapped Lex Luthor.

When you are fond of something, you have Harley Quinn's face, in her orange clothes wearing cuffs at Pamela Isley's conference on ecology.

When you are craving something, you have the rich cougars looking at Dick Grayson's ass.

When you are envious, shocked or horny, maybe all three together, you have the legendary video of Wayne Fondation to promote exercice and healthy lifestyle when Bruce Wayne appears in tank top and Wonder Woman who accepted to be there who could discover properly for the first time Brucie's F cup boobies.

"He said no pickles !" But it's Cass and Jason. Works with joke about power balance and size.

What's happening with Dick and Jason spotted with a SO always taller and ginger ? (WTF Wally is 6'10 ??)

Gotham is still not over discovering Tim Drake is a sleeper build. Why is he jacked like that ? Why even the BUTLER is ripped ?!

Every post trying to promote Joker is filled with Red Hood gif, Batsignal and Oracle dropping all the user's informations.

99.9% of the housewives between 18 and infinity in North America are watching the annual interview of Brucie by Clark Kent. Their discution is also a "me when I meet someone as weird as me" template

Stephanie's very much loud on the very hot microphone "Please step on me" to Dinah when they competed in a Family Feud episode againt the Queens. The others were laughing but nodding

Damian's mugshot at 4'8 for assault. He saw someone with a coat made with an endangered specie.

A spotted paparazzi picture with Catwoman, Batwoman, Bluebird, Poison Ivy and Harley named "The lesbian spectrum".

And a lot, enough to feed a country, of memes about getting adopted by Bruce Wayne.

[word2thawise]

Peter Parker: (staring at the group of kids in front of him) “Okay, so when Bruce said ‘Can you keep an eye on my kids for a few hours?’ I assumed that meant, like… one kid.”

Dick Grayson: (grinning) “Oh no, he meant all of us.”

Damian Wayne: (crossing arms) “I don’t need a babysitter.”

Peter: “Cool, then I don’t need to keep you from setting booby traps in the kitchen, right?”

Damian: (freezing mid-trap) “…Tt.”

Tim Drake: (already passed out on the couch) “Just wake me if someone dies.”

Peter: (blinking) “What—”

Jason Todd: (handing Peter a crowbar) “You’re gonna need this.”

Peter: (horrified) “Why would I need—”

Stephanie Brown: (poking Peter’s chest) “Are you really Spider-Man? Prove it. Do a flip.”

Peter: “I—” (sighs, does a flip)

Cass Cain: (silently giving a thumbs-up)

Peter: “Okay, so I see we’re all unhinged. That’s fun.”

Bruce (over comms): “How’s it going?”

Peter: “Well, no one’s died yet, but it’s early.”

Damian: (unsheathing sword) “Not for long.”

Peter: (staring into the camera like he’s on The Office) “Is it too late to call the Avengers?”

[toomanyf4ndoms7]

Not a Dickbabs hater. Not a Dickbabs otper, but a secret third thing. (Barbara and Dick have an undefinable relationship that switches between looking like exes, partners, best friends, coworkers, and cuddle buddies.)

Let me visualise.

Tim Drake works with Nightwing. NW is talking to Oracle. “Got the place?” “Got it. On our way.” It’s quick, to the point.

After that, radio again.

“Heya, place is clean and on our way back. Yeah, I know. Bye.”

They go to the clock tower, through a booby trap because Babs is a control freak (affectionate.) Dick comes inside first. “Not even a hello?” “I knew you were coming. Might as well test those reflexes. Sloppy response time, by the way”

Tim suddenly feels like he’s intruding. He leaves to steal chips.

Dick notices the Nightwing toy on the desk, he grins in a playful voice. “Aw, you missed me. You love me sooo much-“ Barbara rolls her eyes “Yeah, yeah. Don’t get your tent high.” “So… can I take it?” “No.”

Up and down, up and down.

They can be professional, but they can be mushy. They can argue, but they can hug like touch starved animals. They can be messy but the bond is unique and so damn weird.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

The stupid new drake meme song that i've been unwillingly subjected to hearing is reminding me how when Hey There Delilah first dropped in 2007 i loved it so much i made an OC nnamed Delilah who was an alcoholic shaman wolf girl with huge boobies

[cr4shqueen]

APPROACHING… CURFEW CITY!!

png of my url by @roycekeaner he’s the goat for making it!!!!

m/w him too.. he’s everywhere in the cr4shzone

(reworking in progress, 03/19/25)

( ♪ ⬆️ BULLSHIT, btw, that’s a lie. I stopped working on it a while ago but im lazy and leaving it there )

okay EDITING IT AGAIN… 07/07/25

my gang @rockabillybitch

go gas up @13ncyde he’s my brother from across the globe

TV + MOVIES: Elephant (2003), Supernatural, Dr Katz Professional Therapist, Kevin Spencer, Yellowjackets, Stranger Things, Breakinf Bad, Malcolm in the Middle, My Babysitters a Vampire, Drake and Josh etc

highschooler

!! please do not dm if you are above the age of 20 !!

self proclaimed artist

i play piano, electric guitar and cello !

i mainly listen to: kmfdm, bloodhound gang, suicidal tendencies, eminem, miss construction, chemlab, brokencyde, genitortures, *NSYNC, epic rap battles of history…., breathe carolina, linkin park, busted, pierce the veil, britney spears, taproot , she wants revenge, green day, the Backstreet Boys , uncle outrage, s3rl, cobra starship, the moldy peaches, mcfly, human waste project uhh idk what else to put...

there’s more, i am lazy thouggh 😔

dni: just don’t be a Nazi or Pedophile

i am not tcc, though they can follow idc

im sorry if you followed me for mbav or mcr I’ll post about them eventually

mutuals i fw!!! go follow my dope ass friend @felixrulezz he’s like if hooray for boobies was a person

FOLLOW @skidfart2 HIS BLOG IS TUFF AS HELL I LOVE HIM HES SUPER COOL

@poisonsdying whenever he drops art birds chirp… c-money tha G-O-A-T 🐐

@mentallylivingin2000s what an icon

@roycekeaner i already @ ed him… sorry king i did it again! gets his own other mention.. anyway follow him 💐

@jerseybumpkin she reminds me of the i spy books she’s so soooo kewl

@pinkertoast SUPER SWEET!!! he’s awesome

@dolly4stxr didIt hurt when he fell from heaven 🤔 handsome AND super nice… woah

@davestriderrider ilove her my goat she always makes a moment feel like goofys laugh

that’s it im lowkey boring… bye huzz

[fandomnerd9602]

Uncharted Territory

Lara Croft x Drake!Reader

For @deafeningsharkslimeempath

Outside the pub windows was the blurring neon glow of London. Inside, the fire crackled merrily, casting flickering shadows on the worn wooden beams. You nursed a pint of ale, eyes following the curve of Lara's neck as she sipped her tea.

"Lost in the Amazon again, I see," she teased, her lips quirking in a smile. Her braid swung back and forth as she leaned closer, the firelight highlighting the emerald flecks in her eyes.

It wasn't every day you got to share a fire with Lara Croft, world-renowned adventurer and the love of your life. You chuckled, taking a swig of my ale. "Just trying to decipher a cryptic pirate journal Nate unearthed from his latest escapade. Apparently, there's a hidden fortune of Captain Kidd somewhere off the coast of Madagascar."

Lara scoffed, a playful glint in her eye. "Knowing Nate, it's probably buried under a pile of bad puns and empty rum bottles."

You couldn't help but agree. "Sounds about right. Though I wouldn't put it past him to actually stumble upon the loot by sheer dumb luck."

You both fell silent, a comfortable silence settling between the two of you. Dating Lara meant a life far removed from the quiet bookstore job. Her adventures brought danger and excitement. Yet, there was something undeniably thrilling about holding her hand as she recounted tales of dodging booby-trapped temples and outsmarting ruthless mercenaries.

"Are you coming, (Y/N)?" Her voice broke the stillness, her gaze softening. "To Madagascar, I mean."

You hesitated. The thought of Lara facing another treasure hunt alone gnawed at your soul. But you also knew she craved these challenges, that her curiosity and thirst for knowledge were as vital to her as air.

"Not this time, Lara," You give her hand a squeeze, not wanting to let it go. "That's Nate's turf. You know I wouldn't want to steal his thunder."

A flicker of disappointment crossed her face, but she quickly masked it. "Of course," she said, her voice light. "Besides, I don't think that island could handle two Drakes running amok."

"True enough. Though I might send Sully along to keep him out of too much trouble."

Lara laughed, her giggle was the only thing that made your existence feel like it was something. "Do that. And tell him to pack plenty of wisecracks and rum."

The rest of the evening unfolds in a warm haze of conversation and shared laughter. Reminiscing about past adventures, from misadventures exploring lost Mayan temples with Nate to Lara's encounter with a mythical serpent in the Peruvian jungle.

As the fire dwindled to embers, Lara leaned her head against your shoulder. "You know," she whispers in your ear, "the flight to Madagascar doesn't leave until the morning"

"That's still a couple hours away" you gaze meets her.

"I think we can find one or two ways to make the time fly" she gives you a wink. "My flat's not far from here"

"Lead the way" you gather up your supplies and take her arm in yours.

And with that, you and her slip out into the night, your footsteps blend together into the London streets. One little night together, a bit of wine and a whole lot of mischief.

You are (Y/N) Drake, brother of Nathan Drake, and boyfriend to the bravest, most extraordinary woman in all the world.

[nesting-dreams]

Tim: I shall name myself blue footed Booby after the blue footed booby.

Dick: you know what, The Drake as an alias sounds just fine.

Meanwhile Stephanie would of been like: JUST CALL YOURSELF SPARROW OR CROW, you lame brain.

[daddysfangirls-dc]

The Arrangement

CH 10 - First Date

Damian Wayne x OC! Female

Prev | Next

" So cute," Dick gushed as he watched Syn and Damian walk around the Observatory from one section to the next. It was the middle of the week, so the crowd wasn't significant. 

"You know, Dick, I've actually been trying to lose my status as a stalker," Tim says as he follows behind Dick, who is running around hiding behind things like a Looney Toons character. Yeah, he wasn't doing that. " You look ridicules," Tim said as he watched Dick fix his fake mustache behind a wall.

"Did they see me?" Tim turned to the couple. Syn smiled and waved while Damian just glared. He waved back.

"Nope".

Tim sighed as Dick ducked behind a placard. " They are going in for the show. I got tickets if you want to follow." he refused to look at his idiot brother.  

"Let's go; well, sit in the back." Dick rushed forward before the attendant closed the door. Tim apologized for his behavior. Damian and Syn sat in the middle area while Tim and Dick sat in the very back. " Why aren't you more interested? You normally would be all over this," Dick whispered asked.

"I am," Tim argued. " I'm just not acting like an idiot hiding behind bushes and walls and in the nonexistent crowds from two trained assassins. You look ridiculous," and to prove his point, he rips off Dick's fake mustache. He was displeased to know it didn't hurt him. 

"They know we're here, no point in hiding. That, however, does not give you an excuse to approach them. Leave them alone and just watch."

"Got it. You are the senior stalker here"

"I don't like you right now."

-

Syn smiled as Tim waved back lazily. " It's sweet, isn't it?" 

"Drake's stalker habits are not sweet. Although he'll be given credit for forgoing Richard's Scooby Doo performance."

"what's Scooby-Doo?" he just shakes his head. 

"Let us ignore them. Hopefully, they won't approach us." The couple continued on their date blissly ignorant to the chaos following behind them.

Damian and Syn forged a tour guide. Syn had enough knowledge to tell him everything anymore, and she did. Damian listened as she carefully spoke of the scientific findings as well as the ancient stories that came with them. Syn enjoyed the stories more than the knowledge, and he could tell. She just loved the folklore and mythology. History and Stories were always her favorites. The stories of the constellations. 

Although during the show, she was quiet, keeping her eyes above letting the presenter speak, she did shake her head or make a face at any mistakes or bad jokes. 

"What do they look like?" Syn whispered; he looked at her, confused. " What do they look like? The star is up in space. In your watch tower." 

Oh.

"In space, there is no smog or pollution, nothing to hide the stars. There is nothing to hide from the stars. The view is crystal clear. They are beautiful and bright. Might even see a few stars you've never seen before. You'd love it." he takes her hand gently, massaging her knuckles.

"I'll take you up there one day."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'll show you the stars and tell you the stories I know."

"I'd like that." She gently put her head on his shoulder for the rest of the show. After the show, they went to the gift shop, where Damian bought her blanket covered in stars.

"My first housewarming gift," Syn says as she squeezes the gift bag to her chest. Delighted to receive such a fluffy gift. Usually, the gifts she received were for her line of work. Knives, daggers, poisons, anything that could assist. It was nice to receive something soft for once.

"You said you needed blankets, and you were eyeing it." It was the thought that counted. "How is the house coming along?"

"Very well," and it was. The interior was done (that included the hidden weapons and booby traps), and the exterior was coming along. They were working on the windows and roof. " Just need furniture."

"No decor?" 

"Well, I'm not that artistic. I'll probably just hire a decorator or just wing it. It's not like I'll be hosting anyone anytime soon." She laughs lightly. Syn knows art; she isn't artistic, but she knows art. She isn't talented, but she has skills. She said she could make the place look pretty but not homey. It wouldn't feel like a home. She did not know how to make one.

They started to slow down as they made their way to the exit. 

"Perhaps," Damian says slowly," That could be a date. Acquiring furniture, that is." He kept his eye forward as he spoke a bit shyly about what her response might be.

" Funiture shopping. Bit domestic, don't you think?" She didn't know why, but she wanted to make sure, and she wanted him to be sure.

It was silent as they approached the car. He opened the door but put his arm out to stop her. He leans in close. His voice is quiet; only she can hear it. " We are to be married." His breath fanned her ear. This would just be practice then, right?" Unable to speak, she simply nods.

Giving her a gentle push helps her into the car. Damian contemplates whether to help her with her seat belt but decides against it and closes the door. Sitting in the car, Syn takes a moment for herself. That was a lot. It was a very intimate moment (at least for them). Him being so close and breathing against her. Her body was tingling.

Damian also took a moment to breathe outside the car. Being that close to her and smelling her perfume was good. Being so close to her made him feel things. He needed to get himself under control. Everyone was under control when Damian finally got into the car.

-

Fortunately, after the show, Dick gave up the So=cooby Doo performance and was behaving like a normal person. Or more like a normal stalker as he still eyed Syn and Damian like a predator.

Someone must have told security about the strange behavior because three security guards approached as they came to the gift shop. Tim spoke before they could even open their mouth, " Our little brother is on his first date, and we're following them. You know, making sure he treats her right."

"Aww, he's buying her something," Dick coos as he tries to peek around security. 

"We'll leave." 

"What ?! NO!" Dick begins to protest as Tim drags him away towards the exit. " What did he get her? I bet it was a plushie. I wonder where they're going next."

Tim and Dick watched as the couple slowly walked through the parking lot. They walked closely, their backs to them, so Tim couldn't see what they were saying. Dick was just cooing at how close they were.

"Oh, he's opening the door for her," Dick awwed at the gentlemanly act. But as Damian opened the door, he leaned down toward Syn. They were merely inches apart.

Ignoring Dick's soft chant of "kiss, kiss, kiss," Tim focused on the couple, specifically Damian, whose lips he could see. While he couldn't make out everything, he read 'to be married' and 'practice.' Drawing his own conclusions, he decided that he had seen enough of the couple today and wouldn't stick around for more.

"Time to go" he pulled Dick away.

"We need to follow them."

"No, we don't," Tim said, taking the keys from him. " We've seen enough. Leave them alone."

Dick pouted like a child but ultimately agreed to leave them alone, getting in the car and watching them drive in the opposite direction. 

"Batburger"

"Yeah, you can show me the pictures you took."

"I'm surprised you didn't take any."

"One, as I told you, I'm trying to lose the stalker title, and Two... What makes you think I didn't?"

[jelly-flesh]

Coworker Quotes of the Day pt 2

Nike: At least I'm honest that I'm a liar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drakes #1: They have golfing in other countries?

Fruit & Superman sighing: Oh my god....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Superman: What gets more useful when you break it?

Ram: A person.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Superman: What goes down but never up?

Ram: A brick.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drakes #1: I never turn her on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drakes #1 had a very rare good idea. A construction ad but it's the three little pigs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nyan Cat: Do you own a freak?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Drakes #1: I'm gonna hop on Chair and push.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Truck: I remember one branch of government, the consecutive branch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Truck: Don't touch my booby!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Superman: I am.....caucasion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lamp: Well, consider me shocked.

Fruit: Isn't it color me surprised?

Superman: She's just a teenage girl!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drakes #1: I never realized how much I like breathing.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Keep it in Your Heart

If we're doing another leg of this flashback, it's time to dust off a old concept that proved right with the last time we stepped away. We...might not be coming back to how this situation with Saturn gets resolved. We may come in directly on the resolution. There are a lot of ways that can go. But for the moment I just wanted to focus on a few things that are relevant. Starting with the chapter I borrowed a title from here, 603. Viz slightly changes it, but the noteworthy "heart" theme is part of the whole package, one you probably remember with this scene.

Of course it's relevant that Kuma asked for this final mission. This direction for the flashback has a high chance of us seeing an alternate view of the story we all know and love. Really, really would like to see this cover Kuma's POV on Thriller Bark. What I forgot until looking at this chapter again was how much the Straw Hats, particularly Franky, know about the cyborg project. Franky offering a dire warning that is quite pertinent; that Kuma is someone they're indebted to...but if they ever cross paths again he will be an emotionless weapon.

There is no such thing as coincidence, only fate. That was how Van Augur put it. Remember, that was when the story was taking an odd moment between Luffy and Blackbeard and spelling out the thread that had been running since Drum. How a quirk of fate tied the brothers' story together. It's interesting to see it on display here leading into explaining just how Kuma protected the ship. Had a hand in setting the Straw Hats up to learn what they'd need to take on the New World.

I used that quote from Augur in one of our earliest Post-Wano Musings, titled Holding Pattern which covered Chapters 1062 & 1063. Looking back, man it's cool we're still looking at Bonney the same way and Drake has the same potential. I really dug up the coincidence thing because Law having boobies was so on point. 1063 was the first time I really started wondering if there might be a real reason to keep the hopium around because it was so weird then to cut away to Law like that. Egghead has gotten a lot longer than we imagined then but really leaned into those early threads we were looking at.

Those who have been following along would recall a while ago I stopped fully caring about this from the perspective of Kiku actually being #10 or not and more that using her as a guide was clearly paying off enough I'mma keep doing it until we get our answer. So then it's worth noting it may be no coincidence, but fate that made Kuma's decision to split the Straw Hats land them at the right time to stumble into the Akazaya's revenge plot. Though the length of their time apart is out of Kuma's paws even if he knew about it. That was just one thought looking back on 603 here.

You even had Caribou stumble in at the end. Don't forget him. My hunch right now is if the Blackbeard ship is actually Moria & Perona then Caribou fits their aesthetic to a T. That's not a bad vehicle to show some of what happened during the skipped night in the lab. Reading that old review was a great reminder; some of the little oddities we noticed early did and continue to snowball.

As for Kuma? Who knows where the flashback goes from here. I'd love some deep Makino lore but they could just be ships passing in the night. Where Bonney's story runs parallel will also be telling. I'll dust off one classic though. The longer this flashback goes the better the odds we come back to the present in a weird fashion. I don't think this 1100 turn can be ended in just one followup chapter either. Gut says wait til the first one of a new year, those are always big too.

Hell...worth mentioning too. If this is our second segment like this in the arc, what does it mean if/when we break down into a third? Just saying, we already had the idea Egghead was the 4th more accurate part of Wano doing a Rashomon type thing. What if that story itself is a nested Rashomon narrative? I will make and send Oda an award for literary brilliance if he does that and it's really, really starting to feel like we might.