#Bon Thugs

[omegaremix]

Omega Radio for June 16, 2021; #267.

Black Sheep: “Without A Doubt”

Salt N’ Pepa ft. En Vogue: “Whatta Man”

Digable Planets: “Nickel Bags”

Fu-Schnickens: “Sum Dum Monkey”

Lord Finesse & AG “Fat For The 90’s”

A Tribe Called Quest: “I Left My Wallet In El Segundo”

Heavy D: “Don’t Curse” (f. various artists)

Arrested Development: “Mr. Wendel”

Nice & Smooth: “Return Of The Hip-Hop Freaks”

Kris Kross: “Warm It Up”

2Pac: “Brenda’s Got A Baby”

Yo-Yo: “Homegirl Don’t Play ‘Dat” (RMX)

Warren G: “Do You See”

Bone Thugs N’ Harmony: “1st Of Tha Month”

Fat Joe f. Diamond D & Grand Puba: “Watch The Sound”

Chi-Ali f. Phife Dawg & Dres: “Let The Horns Blow”

Outkast: “ATLiens”

West-Coast Rap All-Stars: “We’re All In The Same Gang”

Three Times Dope: “Weak At The Knees” + “Funky Dividends”

Naughty By Nature: “It’s On”

LL Cool J & various artists: “I Shot Ya’ (RMX)

Lifer’s Group: "Real Deal”

Boogie Down Productions: “Black Cop”

Kid Frost: “La Rasa”

Grand Daddy I.U.: “Represent”

Scarface: “A Minute To Pray And A Second To Die”

Lost Boyz: “The Lifestyles Of The Rich And Shameless”

Slick Rick: “Mona Lisa”

Tone Loc: “Funky Cold Medina”

The Notorious B.I.G.: “Who Shot Ya?” + “Big Poppa”

Ice Cube & Ice-T: “Trespass”

2 Live Crew: “Banned In The U.S.A.”

Mobb Deep: “Still Shinin’”

House Of Pain: “Who’s The Man”

Coolio: “Fantastic Voyage”

Sir Mix-A-Lot: “Baby Got Back”

Bonus Omega; golden-era hip-hop and rap.

[koysiini-keinumaan]

mini intro <3

hi i'm ro (they/them) and i've been hyperfixating on käärijä for over a year, but i've just decided to make a blog dedicated to him since i've heard the fanbase here on tumblr is fairly active and quite chill!

a bit about me:

my favourite käärijä songs are huhhahhei, hirttää kiinni and kovis

i've seen him live four times, and have now been to finland twice!

i'm from the uk, and am learning swedish

i met my partner through eurotour <3

my other favourite artists are ashnikko, bambie thug, my chemical romance and delilah bon

i write fanfic and draw fanart, some of which is posted anonymously and some of which is on my main account. art block is a bitch tho

i am also releasing music - it was other käärijä fans who convinced me to finally start releasing my own stuff!!!

since this is a sideblog and likes/follows don't show up from me, if other käärijä fans can rb this so i can find more ppl to follow and say hi to i'd really appreciate it!

[novankenn]

The Day After... The Day After... Everyone is Irish

(Post that Started it All)

The RBY of RWBY and the NR of JNPR all gave the quartet slowly making their way into the cafeteria the stink-eye. The sights each team saw when they walked into their respective dorms... was shocking.

Joan: Argh, níl mé ag ól arís!*

Jaune: Bon sang, c'est vrai… je jure de ne plus jamais boire!*

The twin bonds drop their heads into their arms, breathing heavily as if trying to not throw up.

Ruby/Blake/Yang/Nora/Ren: Huh, what did they just say?

Pyrrha: No idea. They've been talking like that since we woke them up.

Weiss: I'm catching a part of what Jaune is saying... but Joan I have no idea. But I think they're both talking about not drinking again.

Pyrrha: I think that would be for the best.

Yang: Really?

Weiss: What's that supposed to mean?

Blake: Seems you and Pyrrha walked away like bandits because of it.

Weiss and Pyrrha blush as they try and hide the hickies ringing their necks.

Ruby: FILTH! FILTH!!

Joan and Jaune peek up from their attempts to block out all light and give Ruby a look.

Jaune: Ní raibh, Ruby! Léiriú grá domhain agus toiliúil a bhí ann!*

Joan: Vous comprendrez quand vous serez plus grand… Cupidon sort de nulle part !* Ah... my head...

Pyrrha: It does something to you...

Weiss: Hearing them speak like that... oh I agree... I so agree.

Ruby: ...

Yang: Okay! Maybe you should take those two back to the dorms? Let them recover some...

Blake: You mean a lot.

Ren: I hate to break the mood... but did you take... precautions?

Weiss: Why would I do that? Oh, wait... (Looks towards Pyrrha)

Pyrrha: Urk! Ah... ummm...

Nora: AUNTIE NORA is here!

Joan: Jaune, dis-moi que tu l'as enveloppé…*

Jaune: Níl… thug mé isteach sa phaisean.*

Joan/Jaune: ... God damn it!

/==/ Translations (using Google translate) -

(Irish) : Argh, I'm not drinking again! (French) : Damn, it’s true…I swear to never drink again! (Irish) : No, Ruby! It was a deep and willing expression of love! (French) : You'll understand when you're older… Cupid comes out of nowhere!! (French) : Jaune, tell me you wrapped it… (Irish) : No… I gave into the passion.

[threepoint14art]

I'm gonna word vomit about the nightmares because GOD I'm listening to great escape on loop and i feel like I'm going insane so yeah if you wanna read that im gonna put it under the cut because its probably gonna be LONG TLDR: I love them and they make my head hurt

We know the nightmares are not good people, like at all. The very first instance we see them is in the episode literally titled "BONNIES NIGHTMARE" and yeah, they sure are his nightmare.

They harass him for money as a "tradition", Bonnie doesn't have any, they try and take his guitar, until there they’re pretty standard random assholes, then meg says "they know where you live" when Bon tries to intervene and refers to them as a complete group, "the *nightmares* know where you live" and then the stakes become weirder. Because aside from just very visibly being horrible people, they already have a reputation of being actually dangerous besides just mugging, they know where people live. You can argue they know where Meg, Fox and Spring live based on past history with all of them, and they could know where Bonnie lives based on how they harass him and all of that; but for them to know where Bon lives? someone who they appear to have literally no biases against and who is, up to that point, just completely unrelated to any of what's happening? It’s weird

You could say it's because he's friends with Meg, but I sort of doubt Bon would bring anyone over with how his dad is, so we are back at "why the actual hell would they know that" If they are mindless thugs it’s a bit weird that they would keep track of specifics like that. And I like to think that that’s the point. They make it a point to know sensitive information about people so that they are less inclined to go against them, just like Meg was. 

Then Fox appears and they seem really put off by it. The series tries really hard to sell that Fox is angry, violent and just a hot head. Which I don't really agree with? as in rewatches I've found myself going "yeah that's a valid reason to be angry" but whatever, going off the series alone and what they intend with each character, Fox is someone who is sort of dangerous, guy who gets into fights and all of that, they seem sort of familiar with each other too. "this is low even for you guys" and then Deuz calling Fox by his name. 

So they are 1) known 2)violent 3) actively make a show out of it. They scare people by knowing their private information yet they don’t seem to do anything with it at all, they could harass Bonnie closer to his house and not at the literal school entrance full of people but they don’t. They could drag him out to somewhere more hidden to not get bothered, but they don't, it's almost as if they want people to see. It's performative, speaking loud and laughing louder, in direct contrast to Bonnie's quiet voice who tries to leave in the least showy way possible. 

We don't see them go to school, hell we don't even see them in uniform until after camp, so I used to think they were older and that  the entire thing with the nightmares vs spring was sort of "the adult drama" outside of school and its teenagers. Their entire group just felt heavier than the rest of the kids, probably fueled by being antagonists.

The next time we see them it's with the aforementioned Spring, they are graffiting a wall and Spring tells them to not do it and to go do it in the "legal area" the artistic zone made for that. 

This is really interesting to me, mostly because even though spring grew up in a similar situation to them, he carries completely different moral values. It even seems as if he's overcompensating. Spring is a hard worker, he has jobs upon jobs and tries to live honestly, and to see other people get by in the direct opposite way he does, he wants to be as separated as possible, have nothing in common because he is a “good” person and they are “bad” people. 

There is no way that his entire area isn't drowning in graffiti already, because even sub-urban areas have graffiti, both actual art and the standard weird drawings of dicks or random curse words. And while the latter are not exactly great to see, they are also inherently thoughtless. People walk around and go "yeah this would be funny" and do it without thinking twice.

With the way that Onnie and Onyx (I call oxy that) talk about it, what they were about to do wasn't thoughtless, they were literally looking for a nice wall. it seemed like they just wanted to do actual artistic graffiti which is a pastime that seems inherently way less morally evil than just harassing random kids at school. They aren't actively looking for Spring either, they are just there. Spring picks the fight, the police come

They run away from the police, there's a ruckus with the police after (as said by Fox). They didn't actually vandalize anything, hell they didn't even have any paint on them throughout that entire exchange. But they still run? They could have done something before going over there, but in that case it'd be strange that they would be so calm and giddy about it knowing full well someone could come, they don't seem to be carrying anything at all either, robbing school kids may be possible with only your fists but they were just around streets without any knife or anything at night, so i doubt they could mug someone if they tried. 

So why would they run? I think it’s because they are all mostly just show, and that their lives shaped them to be that way. The police are scary not on the basis of "they can imprison me for this wrong thing I did" but on the basis of "the police hates people like us." The police hates the poor, the police hates queer people, it hates anyone who fails to fit in the box of what"an upstanding citizen" should look like. Of course they leave with their theatrics still there, telling Spring to "be grateful they saved you!!!" trying to save face. But it's clear they didn't actually do something to warrant fleeing, and this is supported by Spring also hiding. 

The next episode, "the birth of evil" is where everything crumbles and by crumbles i mean comes together. Spring, Fox and Bonnie go to a talent show and they meet the nightmares there, once again the whole act starts again. An obnoxious laugh, a confident pose, an ensemble of people behind you to be able to have your back. Deuz calls them dogs and the other 2 bark, its a performance. Deuz adresses the group, Onyx talks to Spring, Onnie talks to Bonnie.  

They don’t seem to acknowledge Bonnie in specific as anything important, they don’t blink and demand he gives them the money he still “owes”, they don’t tell him he’s lucky that he’s not alone. They pick a fight with the conglomerate and that's it. 

The way Spring and Fox carry themselves in the exact same situation seems just fundamentally different. They insult back of course, but they are way less vitriolic with it, and they don't accompany it with an air of grandiose superiority or an encore of background laughs or barks to drive their point home. They seem honest with their comeback, they have fun with it. Onyx and Onnie GROWL. 

Deux stands in front of them, he has been doing that this entire time, and the other two behind him growl, genuinely upset or threatened by a comeback that let's be honest. Was not even that good. "You smell that? envy?" and "the rats came out to eat, shame we didn't bring cheese"

But it not being good is sort of the point, it feels less practiced, less rehearsed and less of an act, a stupid comeback that reads more like a 3rd grader fight than anything, compared to the more antagonistic "look at the stray dogs. though this was a talent show not a barking one." "give me paw, have you learned to play dead yet?" Those are way stronger, and yet it seems like they just lose the exchange, immediately get defensive and growl, and look genuinely upset. 

Funny thing is that their insults apply to them more than they apply to those three. Both Onnie and Onyx have been shown constantly barking and growling, to call someone a stray dog implies some level of poorness or a lack of belonging. They put down what may seem wrong with them, and apply it to other people to get a leg up. 

Maggie tells them to drop it, they go and perform what they came here to perform. Deuz says "dont waste your energy, let's prove what real talent is" which can certainly just be read as another insult, as a way to call them talentless, but i chose to interpret it as masking a sore spot. We HAVE talent, even if people say we don't.

And this is the main attraction. Great escape. My love. 

With all we know about them, you would imagine their music would follow through with the image they've been constantly pushing. Rough around the edges, loud, obnoxious, full of self adulation. But it's just... Not that.

Song starts, and it seems like they will follow through. It's strong, it's loud, it's overwhelming and yet awestrucking, the guitar is at the forefront and is going crazy. And then it suddenly becomes soft, not weak or pacifying by any means, but soft nonetheless. 

Deuz’s voice is calm, he’s not screaming and he’s not making himself louder than necessary, the mic is there and it WILL pick what he says up. So he’s just singing, he’s not struggling to be heard. The very first line is “if i wasn’t the one who i thought I was, could you show with conviction who you really are?” It’s weirdly wordy and self introspective for someone who is supposedly just evil, who has presented himself as an unmovable wall, as someone strong, foul mouthed and completely used and comfortable with his way of life. As someone who poses a real danger.

If I wasn't who I thought I was, if I wasn't strong and if I wasn't at the forefront, could you really show who you are? If he wasn’t like this, if he seemed soft or weak, could his group live in peace? Could they be who they want to be? It’s not like they are 100% free to be who they are right now. They too, keep an appearance of being unbothered, strong, but at least they get to live, they get to present themselves how they want and not be scared of someone hurting them because of it, because they ARE the harm, and they have a leader. He’s the pillar, and he has to be who he THINKS he is. He has to be there.

“Will you be able to not fall today without your costume?  your heart breaks just like a fragile glass” The idea of costumes, of keeping an appearance, making “the nightmares” a single intimidating entity that no one can mess with, could they live without it? Chances are not, life is cruel and they seem to know that. It’s a dog eat dog world, and they act as if they are on the top of that food chain.

The song is for all of them, it’s ADDRESSED to them, Deuz uses first person and second person, me and you against whatever is put in our way. And that is what makes the song so special to me, in a show were we see the protagonists in the process of becoming friends the nightmares have been together since forever. And this song is for them, to find hope in hopelessness and to simply state how important all of them are to each other. “and in the distance I can hear that your voice started to call me”.

And we see what has led them down this way of thinking. Not a justification, but an explanation.

We start with Deuz, whose first memory appears to be literally working. Working to sustain himself, working to be able to live better, “I know that I will wake up.” I know that I can get out of here somehow, people are horrible to a literal child trying to live, we see how it lasted a long while too. From the candy selling to when his hands are curled into a fist we can see that he visibly grew up, he kept living in those conditions and he never actually experienced sympathy for it, people laughed, people insulted him, people seemed to be grossed out by the mere idea of a kid who was BORN into poverty, because how dare he try and survive? “I fell into an dark abysm without an end”  

With this it would make sense for him to become cynical, to assume it’s him against the world forever, and that people are inherently evil. But the lyrics are hopeful. “I escaped swiftly and I saved my life, I felt as if i were finally breathing again. Today let’s break the walls at once” Life is cruel, people are cruel, but it gives him a frame of reference of what type of people stay at the top of the chain, to be mean, to be violent, not out of enjoyment but necessity, camouflage to survive and breathe again, make sure people don’t mess with him again. The image of a little kid with scratches throughout all his body looking angrily at the camera

“In a place of the world where light goes away and doesn’t want to come back. Could you be sure that you’ll find it?” He could stay alone, he could dish out the same disdain and disgust that people showed him when he was at his lowest, but despite it all he still has empathy, and despite everything he wants to help, “evil” was born through how he lived, but his true nature is still there. And when he sees someone his age at his lowest, he doesn’t hesitate to help. He doesn’t fall in the idea of “everyone should have it as bad as me, i had it worse, it’s not my problem.” He extends the kindness that he never had, and he helps. Could you really find light when everything seems dark? find hope in what seems hopeless?see a A scared little kid being beat in a closed alleyway, amongst all the trash. Could you be fine with it? Have any hope in such a situation?

“if everything breaks slowly and with pain. Could you pick up the pieces that fall?”  He stops it, he becomes the light that went away, a sense of hope and belonging, he offers a hand that was never offered to him. Onnies expression in this always gets me, he looked scared when he was alone, but once someone stands up for him he doesn’t look glad or happy. He seems shocked, in complete disbelief. Both Onyx and Maggie seem to be relieved when they are saved, but Onnie is just shocked. Why would someone just intervene or care? this was not a one time thing, he already had the bruises before any hit ever connected, he fled into a dead end and expected it to end like that. And it didn’t. Everything was already broken, why would someone pick up the pieces? 

“In the distance I can hear the quake of the world and its end. Today you’ll start from zero. I have to say see you later” I’ve seen some people be confused by this part or even laugh at it. Deuz just appears, punches onyx, and they become friends. But the very first shot is Onyx sitting slumped on the ground as if he had been beat up and was barely conscious. But he wasn’t, he had no injuries at all, the lyric talks about the end of the world, he had given up. We don’t know the circumstances of this, but given how clean his clothes are and how he lacks any injuries, it’s my personal headcanon that he got kicked out. A kid alone in the streets kicked out, he should give up, because what else could he do? how else could he live? A wake up call in the form of a fist, this place is dangerous and not what you are used to. But today you’ll start from zero, you just have to say goodbye to what you had. 

The chorus changes, it’s no longer a dark abyss, but a dark path. In the name of not being at the very bottom he has become something he isn’t, all of them have, their lives shaped them to be rougher, they are like the people who hurt them in the past. This is especially true to Onnie becoming a bully. And the path seems endless, because dropping the fake bravado doesn’t seem like a possibility. The world is cruel to those it perceives as weak, so they can’t show themselves to be. That's why we are shown the three of them looking angry, unbothered, the strength their life demanded but at the very least as a group; making themselves bigger, with Deuz at the forefront. 

And we cut to Maggie (who I use he/him for), screaming and trying to get away from someone who is clearly bigger, an adult. From the song “closer” at the camp arc, we can see how that person was enjoying causing distress, a crooked and mocking smile on their face “there will be people who think this is pure hypocrisy” To go from being the kid suffering at the hands of someone stronger, to the one causing said pain onto another kid, all to not be weak and not be a target again. 

The group doesn’t only defend Maggie, fight back against someone bigger than all of them. But Deuz goes out of his way to try and cheer him up, and gives him a sweet to calm down.  “incapable of forgetting the beast that’s hungry yet again” this world, it’s difficulties that feel like sharp teeth mauling at people who have not done any sin but to exist yet, people feed on others being miserable, on feeding on those who seem weaker and their suffering, like beasts. You can’t ignore it, you have to fight back, bare your own teeth.

“Beyond the storm my hand is waiting for you. That sword pierced depression with all it’s strength” After the suffering, after the hardships and the pain, my hand will be there waiting for yours. Together we are stronger, and together we can be happy despite what everyone else can say. “Before just falling like that…” before giving up, before falling, we have each other.

And it’s the chorus again, I fell in a dark abyss, but now what saved his life is not making himself scarier, it’s not the realization of what act he should put on, it’s not his anger freeing him. It’s having his group. And once they break the walls, once they break through their self imposed image, through “the wall” , they can live without fear or grudges. 

Next we see them is at camp, and it seems as if Deuz already started to try to break through said wall, they are actually going to school now, they are at a camp. And when Onyx and Onnie start with the theatrics, when they try to immediately establish themselves as stronger and crueler. He reminds them that they are not on the streets. They aren’t in that horrible environment they’ve always lived in, not everyone is bound to be outright hostile, and they try. 

Later on Deuz says “If being at this camp and learning to work in a team makes my boys finally get accepted by society. Then I’ll do it.” and after that “I’ll show them that we can all change for the better.” They all became hostile because of where they grew up, but if there’s a chance to not be like that, to live in peace, then he’ll take it. He wants the best for them.

And that’s not to say Deuz has always been the pillar of morality. He participated in Bonnies harassment as much as all of them, but their thing is to change, to let go of that gut reaction of cruelty to avoid being hurt. And Deuz also changes with time. At the start, anyone who participated in the event, who went to the docks which is their territory, he would have been annoyed, he would have called them talentless, insult them and their craft and claim he and his crew were better before completely disregarding them as a whole. He would have been defensive about the only place where he can actually showcase his thoughts and feelings. But no! Later on he has respect for Fred, calls him “the king of the docks” and tries to be friendly. Of course after that Freddy is completely confused and he gets pissed, but I think it’s because he tried, he attempted to be friendly and swallow his pride and his defensiveness about the one thing they all have, and he got (in his head) made fun of. It made his instinct of “be the one on the top of the interaction always” kick in, because they WERE on the streets at that time and it’s suddenly the same it always has been. 

Right after that pup kills him on a single punch and that didn’t happen ^^.  no waaaay he would go down so easy to a person like pup whose most athletic skill is gymnastics. Deuz has shown he's had to fight and fight dirty/lawlessly to survive since he was little. it just doesn't make sense and it’s not real TOT Pup is built like a twig

“pia what about onnies song” also didn't happen ^^. After this point the series tries to soften Onnie to be less of a willing participant of the group’s actions, and I just really do not like it. Let him have blue hair and pronouns AND evil in his heart. 

I think that’s all for all, i need to be tazed. I know i kept it very neutral till now but guys please tell me you see why i ship them all so hard. God. I need to kill them all

i hate them you need to be put down <3 like the dogs u like (the nightmares) - Loops

[the-fluff-piece]

Night shift 🌙

Coffeeshop AU - getting a visit from Detective Smoker

This is day 4 of tropetember

Also check out my stories and headcanon masterlists

You're just a student with a job in a diner. You work the night shift because you like the calm of the night hours - and so does Smoker, a weary cop stopping by for a coffee and your company every so often.

Note: Mr 2's alias Bon Kurei was translated to"Bon Curry" in my country, so that's how I'm using it here.

Detective Smoker was a night-owl, and a regular at Bon Curry's diner. He usually stomped in around midnight, sat down at his usual spot and waited for Bon-Chan to bring him the usual - a strong coffee and a slice of the Diner's signature apple pie (contrary to the name, there was no curry on the menu).

His burly stature and grumpy demeanor were intimidating, so most waiters avoided him, except for your boss, whom everyone just called Bon-Chan. He was a lively and excentric person and the only one who was consequently delighted to serve the detective.

So when the door opened, ringing the bell and the big man with the dark coat entered the room, you waited for Bon-Chan to bring him the usual.

Smoker sat down with a groan and enjoyed his cigar. And waited. You continued to clean the counter. That old scary grump was not your responsibility, you told yourself.

Ten minutes passed. Smoker began to drum the table impatiently. Where's Bon-chan?

You looked around, he must be in the kitchen. You went looking - and smelled smoke - and there he was, fanning a burning something on the counter with this apron.

"I have a little bit of a situation here, darling" he said, waving you away.

"Uhm, the detective is here..." You told your boss, hoping he would take the hint.

"So? I'm busy here, you bring him the usual" he desperately continued to fan smoke out of the back window.

"He doesn't bite. He's actually a good guy. Just make a bit of smalltalk, he's a regular. You got this!" He gave you a thumbs up before taking care or the accident again. Bon-Chan was so cheery and positive, you couldn't refuse.

So you dutifully returned to the dining area, loaded a slice of pie and a coffee on a tablet and brought it to the detective's table.

"The usual" you said, a bit shaking, as you set the order down in front of him, already afraid what he might say. He was even more scary up close, but also strangely handsome. From afar, he looked much older - now you realised he must be in his mid thirties.

His angular face could only be described as masculine and stern. A nasty looking scar was above his eye. His nose looked crooked, like it had been broken more than once and never settled right. His stature was undeniably muscular and broad. Overall, not the qualities you liked on customers at all. He looked like the kind to make problems.

"Where's Bon-Chan" it felt more like an order than a question. He looked up at you through the tobacco smoke and you noticed his warm brown eyes, a stark contrast to his white hair and light skin.

"He is occupied, in the kitchen" you swallowed. His eyes may have been like warm chocolate, but you didn't doubt his stare could break any street thug's will.

"Hmph" He grunted as he sipped the hot coffee.

Just make some smalltalk, Bon-Chan's request echoed in your head. He prided himself to run the most welcoming diner in town, with an open ear and a Chat for everyone. You thought about how he often sat with customers, listening to their problems, easing their cares. It was a warmth you wanted to provide, too.

This man looked so weary, you had your work cut out for you. So you took all your courage and stammered out the usual question:

"So, had a long day?" You asked, hoping for the best. This man couldn't be further from your usual crowd.

"Long week." He rubbed the hunched bridge of his nose, looking unnerved.

"Must be tough out there" you said.

"You have no idea, miss" He squinted at you. "Can't you get Bon-Chan?" He asked, twisting his neck to scan the diner.

"He is fighting some burnt pie in the kitchen" you said, unprepared for the deep, guttural laugh that followed.

"Still clumsy I see, he doesn't change" Smoker laughed and his expression relaxed a little.

"Have you known each other for a long time?" You asked, now curious.

"Yes. We met through my work" He seemed engaged now. In a talking mood.

"He doesn't look like much, hell, before I met him I would probably not have taken him serious. But just let it be said that your boss saved my ass. Got a mean kick" He chuckled at your surprised face.

Your boss, that scrawny, skinny man with heavy make up, saving that hunk?

Smoker took a deep draught of his cigar and veiled himself in smoke.

"Now you have to tell me more!" You were intrigued, you didn't know much about Bon-Chan's past and he never told.

"Maybe another time, miss" Smoker raised his brow and leaned back in his chair, stretching.

His chest was so massive, it put quite the strain on the fabric of his shirt. You figured that he already wore the biggest size he could find. The stretched material revealed bulging pecs, the clearly defined muscles moving as he breathed in and out.

"Something wrong, miss?" He asked.

"No, not at all" you were ripped from the hypnotic moment, realising how athletic he was build. Rolled up sleeves revealed strong arms with thick veins stretching over his lower arms and big hands.

He leaned on the table again, robbing you of the sight of his chest - and instead treating you to a warm glance from his chestnut eyes.

"Why don't you tell me your story? You haven't been around long, miss" He dug into his pie and listened to you.

You told him why you came town and how you came to work at the diner, while he ate the slice of pie. He asked clarifying questions from time to time, remembering smallest details you mentioned. His eyes glinted with interest as he came to cunning conclusions about you.

You decided it was your time to ask and get him talking.

He told you how he grew up here, in a very bad part of town, actually not far from your flat. It was cheap living space, but not exactly the place with the best reputation. He seemed a bit concerned for your safety, but held back with overbearing advice.

"I bet you have your hands full, being in the police force around here" you said.

He nodded.

"There's a lot of great people here that deserve a safe town. I'm trying to do my part." He said it with such a finality that you didn't have a doubt about his conviction.

"Are you sure I shouldn't accompany you home?" He seriously looked at you.

"No, I've made it home for the past months, it will be OK." You told him.

He nodded.

"But if you ever feel unsafe, don't hesitate to ask" He said.

"Well, I'm off again" He said as he finished the last of his midnight meal.

"I hope to see you again, soon. Take care out there at night" He said in a warm voice.

As he put on his coat and got ready to leave, his demeanor hardened again, like he had to put on armor against the harsh world outside. He nodded towards the counter and left, vanishing into the foggy night again.

You looked over - Bon-Chan was leaning next to the coffee maker with a broad grin.

"Aw darling, he likes you!" His voice reminded you of your mom's, when she asked about the boys at school.

"I just chatted, like you asked!" You said, trying to play cool.

"He doesn't just like anyone. And he rarely smiles. You're on Smoker-duty from now on." He turned around to avoid further discussion.

When you cleared the table, you found a more than generous tip. Smoker-duty might prove exciting and profitable at the same time.

-----

Smoker

Over the years, he has become a little rough-edged, he knew that. The streets were tough and he saw a lot of horrible things every day. He couldn't save everyone and he often asked himself if he made any difference at all anymore.

He feared that he was getting like the old guys on the force - hopeless, bitter, disillusioned.

He returned to Bon Curry's diner as often as he did because it was a warm place, and there was always someone to keep him company. It reminded him of the good places of this town.

The waitress he talked to today was a welcome addition. He thought about her as he opened the door to his dark apartment.

He had noticed her before, standing silently behind the counter. He'd always found her to be pretty. And tonight he discovered that she was a good listener and a kind soul as well.

He hoped that she would be safe and would see her again. He looked forward to his next night shift.

--

Yes, I put Mr 2 in there because I love the thought of them running a small shop and providing shelter for lost souls. And yes, I would love them to be unexpected friends with smoker.

I like smoker in this setting, maybe there will be more parts.

And yes, he's a big, sexy daddy and y/n is a small, cute student.

Taglist @yeeeeezly @waitingmydemons @stariski @livwritesfics @violetmatcha

[riveatstoes]

Sanders Sides as Taylor Swift Songs

Because I want to merge my hyperfixation (SaSi) and my special interest (TS)

But first some clarifications:

Most of these are vibe-based, especially when it comes to Logan because I genuinely think that he is one of, if not THE, hardest characters to get right

If you have different opinions that’s fine, I like hearing what other people have to say! (as long as you remain respectful)

Yes 99% of Remus’s are ironic, get off my back abt it did you seriously expect anything else??? Yeah that’s what I thought

There is at least one album where I chose the same song for two characters but um. Mind your business

Yes I’m counting If This Was A Movie as a Fearless song. I’m going by what album’s cover it has on it tbh

For reference my favorite is Roman and I think that may be obvious. Idk

Taylor Swift (Debut)

Logan: The Outside

Roman: Stay Beautiful

Patton: Tied Together With A Smile

Virgil: A Place in This World

Janus: The Outside

Remus: Picture to Burn (Homophobic Version)

Fearless (Taylor’s Version)

Logan: Tell Me Why

Roman: Breathe (ft. Colbie Caillat)

Patton: If This Was A Movie

Virgil: You All Over Me (ft. Marren Morris)

Janus: Don’t You

Remus: Thug Story (ft. T-Pain)

Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)

Logan: Castles Crumbling (ft. Hayley Williams)

Roman: Back To December

Patton: Never Grow Up

Virgil: Haunted

Janus: Better Than Revenge / Innocent

Remus: BTR (Slut-Shaming Version)

Red (Taylor’s Version)

Logan: Nothing New (ft. Phoebe Bridgers)

Roman: Red

Patton: Sad Beautiful Tragic

Virgil: I Almost Do

Janus: I Bet You Think About Me (ft. Chris Stapleton)

Remus: I Knew You Were Trouble (Screaming Goat Version)

1989 (Taylor’s Version)

Logan: Bad Blood (ft. Kendrick Lamar)

Roman: Wildest Dreams

Patton: Clean

Virgil: Out Of The Woods

Janus: Now That We Don’t Talk

Remus: Shake It Off

reputation

Logan: Look What You Made Me Do

Roman: Gorgeous

Patton: New Year’s Day

Virgil: Getaway Car

Janus: Don’t Blame Me

Remus: I Did Something Bad (Ratatatata)

Lover

Logan: I Forgot That You Existed

Roman: You Need To Calm Down / Afterglow

Patton: Cornelia Street

Virgil: The Archer

Janus: Death By A Thousand Cuts

Remus: ME! (ft. Brendon Urie of Panic! At The Disco)

folklore

Logan: this is me trying

Roman: mirrorball

Patton: cardigan

Virgil: peace

Janus: the lakes

Remus: exile (ft. bon iver)

evermore

Logan: closure

Roman: tolerate it

Patton: evermore (ft. bon iver)

Virgil: it’s time to go

Janus: cowboy like me

Remus: no body, no crime (ft. HAIM)

Midnights

Logan: Glitch

Roman: Maroon / Bejeweled

Patton: You’re On Your Own, Kid / Dear Reader

Virgil: Midnight Rain

Janus: Anti-Hero

Remus: Vigilante Shit (Live At The Eras Tour)

The Tortured Poets Department

Logan: I Look In People’s Windows

Roman: But Daddy I Love Him / Clara Bow

Patton: So Long, London / loml

Virgil: Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?

Janus: The Prophecy

Remus: Guilty As Sin? (But specifically that one video of Post Malone dancing to it)

[thisisyourdriverspeaking]

And onto the next edition of my US Motorsport Number Ones posts... it's the Indycar 2024 grid edition 😊

Helio Castoneves (10th May 1975) - Tony Orlando & Dawn - He Don't Love You (Like I Love You)

Takuma Sato (28th January 1977) - StevIe Wonder - I Wish

Katherine Legge (12th July 1980) - Paul McCartney - Coming Up

Scott Dixon (22nd July 1980) - Billy Joel - It's Still Rock And Roll To Me

Ryan Hunter-Reay (17th December 1980) - Kenny Rogers - Lady

Will Power (1st March 1981) & Ed Carpenter (3rd March 1981) - Eddie Rabbitt - I Love A Rainy Night

Romain Grosjean (17th April 1986) - Falco - Rock Me Amadeus

Marco Andretti (13th March 1987) - Bon Jovi - Livin' On A Prayer

Colin Braun (22nd September 1988) - Guns N Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine

Graham Rahal (4th January 1989) - Poison - Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Agustin Canapino (19th January 1990) - Phil Collins - Another Day In Paradise

Marcus Ericsson (2nd September 1990) - Sweet Sensation - If Wishes Came True

Josef Newgarden (22nd December 1990) - Stevie B - Because I Love You (The Postman Song)

Alexander Rossi (25th September 1991) - Color Me Badd - I Adore Mi Amor

Felix Rosenqvist (7th November 1991) - Karyn White - Romantic

Conor Daly (15th December 1991) - Michael Jackson - Black Or White

Kyle Larson (31st July 1992) - Sir Mix-A-Lot - Baby Got Back

Jack Harvey (15th April 1993) - Snow - Informer

Scott McLaughlin (10th June 1993) - Janet Jackson - That's The Way Love Goes

Tom Blomqvist (30th November 1993) - Meat Loaf - I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)

Pietro Fittipaldi (25th June 1996) - Bone Thugs-N-Harmony - Tha' Crossroads

Alex Palou (1st April 1997) - Puff Daddy & Mase - Can't Nobody Hold Me Down

Santino Ferrucci (31st May 1998) - Next - Too Close

Kyle Kirkwood (19th October 1998) - Barenaked Ladies - One Week

Callum Ilott (11th November 1998) - Monica - The First Night

Linus Lundqvist (26th March 1999) - Cher - Believe

Pato O'Ward (6th May 1999) - TLC - No Scrubs

Colton Herta (30th March 2000) - Destiny's Child - Say My Name

Christian Rasmussen (29th June 2000) - Enrique Iglesias - Be With You

Marcus Armstrong (29th July 2000) - N'Sync - It's Gonna Be Me

Rinus Veekay (11th September 2000) - Janet Jackson - Doesn't Really Matter

Christian Lundgaard (23rd July 2001) - Usher - U Remind Me

Sting Ray Robb (3rd September 2001) - Alicia Keys ' Fallin'

David Malukas (27th September 2001) - Jennifer Lopez & Ja Rule - I'm Real (Murder Remix)

Theo Pourchaire (20th August 2003) - Beyonce & Jay-Z - Crazy In Love

Kyffin Simpson (9th October 2004) - Ciara & Petey Pablo - Goodies

Nolan Siegel (8th November 2004) - Usher & Alicia Keys - My Boo

All added to this playlist 😊

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4Z751sk1l8O7QC3vV4Hu8E?si=guuC_GwfS6yXAPA79KsfNg&pi=e-jhqjK0BSQOeU

[elliottjpg]

OCs de La Quête d'Ewilan

Ewilan's Quest OCs

Hey guys, guess who has two new children!!! (well, one and a half. Ewel has actually been hanging out in the back of my mind for a couple years.)

Luce: Shadowalker apprentice (kinda like a ninja but not really)

Ewelliottan: Analyst, a scholar studying the theory of magic (because she is crap at the practice)

///

Luce, expliquant le concept de greffe à Ewel: Par exemple, Jorune Aénandra avait une greffe qui le rendait nyctalope. Ewelliottan, sans réfléchir: JE SAVAIS BIEN QUE C'ÉTAIT UNE SALOPE!!!!!! Luce: Luce, sortant un carnet et un crayon: Fascinant. Dis-m'en plus.

Ewelliottan: Sur une échelle de "Non mais allô quoi" à "Tu es triste? Arrête", comment tu te sens aujourd'hui? Luce: Quelque part entre "Coup d'boule, rien à faire" et "Il est lent, ce lait"; mais pour donner une réponse définitive je dirais "Mange tes morts". Et toi Ewel? Ewelliottan: Un bon "Macron, explosion." Salim: Je croyais comprendre le français, visiblement j'avais tort.

///

(More character info in English under the cut!)

I'm aware that most people familiar with Ewilan's Quest speak French, but I am writing this in English for accessibility reasons. For folks who don't know the books: it is set in Gwendalavir, a country in a world parallel to Earth. Shadowalkers are an elusive guild of ninja-like people with a strong focus on freedom and communion with nature. Designers are people who have the gift of Drawing, which allows them to temporarily will things into existence.

This is set some ten to fifteen years after the events of the last book; Gwendalavir has tied economical and cultural relations with France thanks to Bruno Vignol. Most Alavirians are aware of the existence of the other world, and although unrealistic, for plot reason the existence of Gwendalavir is more or less common knowledge on Earth.

Luce Pezal

He's a Shadowalker apprentice, Salim's apprentice specifically (I wasn't gonna give him to a canon character at first, but I didn't feel like creating a whole-ass OC to be his master, so Salim now has to deal with him.) He is a very cheerful and friendly guy, with a rather nonchalant demeanour - he has elevated not giving a fuck to an art form.

He grew up in Al-Vor in a family of merchants, moved to the capital Al-Jeit to try and do something with his life, did a lot of small jobs trying to find something he liked, and ended up working as a stable boy in the stable that Salim frequents. Luce has always been fascinated by Earth, and latched onto Salim the second he heard he was from there. After some time Salim realized that Luce had the potential to make a good shadowalker, and offered to take him as an apprentice.

Their master/student relationship is a little unusual, as 1) they are both adults with only a 10 years difference, 2) they were already friends before Luce became a shadowalker, and 3) Luce's friendliness and nonchalance look like disrespect toward his master (they aren't). He knew close to nothing about shadowalkers before meeting Salim, so he is utterly unfazed about the fact that his master, great-master and great-great-master are all legends in the guild's eyes.

Luce highly dislikes fighting (although he fights very well); unfortunately for him, he is often targeted by thugs who think he'll be an easy mark because of his missing right hand (he was born without one). He'll avoid blades as much as possible, preferring to fight bare-handed or use cunning instead. He is great at sleight of hand and lockpicking.

He's around 20-23 years old, and he's gay.

Ewelliottan "Ewel" Ar'son

Ewelliottan was born on Earth to a French mother and an Alavirian father. Her parents own a convenience store. She went to Gwendalavir on a study program, and decided to stay there to study the gift of Drawing and become an analyst. She has a very small affinity for Drawing, but far from enough to be a proper analyst, so she compensates it with encyclopedic knowledge of Drawing theory. She is fascinated by all Drawing-adjacent unexplained phenomena, like hiatuses, the Eye of Otolep, the history of Al-Jeit and Al-Poll, variations of the gift, etc. If she could study Mathieu Gil'Sayan under a microscope she would.

She's seen as eccentric by her colleagues; she can spend weeks nose-deep in books in the depth of the Al-Jeit Academy's library, and talk anyone's ears off about Merwyn Ril'Avalon (in time she'll become the country's leading expert on him). Rather than doing analyses of Designers' gifts, she works as a researcher. She occasionally gives conferences or classes, and her students find her either riveting, or boring as hell, with no in-between.

She has some Faëls in her ancestry; the only consequences are slightly pointed ears and a tendency to tan very quickly. When she was little she wanted to become a shadowalker; she thought that her Faël blood would give her an advantage, but it turns out it very much doesn't, and she hates exercising.

She's a little older than Luce, by 3 or 5 years (I haven't decided yet). She's bisexual, and non-binary, in a "none gender with left girl" kind of way.

(There's a few other pics of her here!)

Luce and Ewel

Luce and Ewelliottan met on a solo mission as part of Luce's training. Salim had met Ewel through his wife Ewilan, who frequents the Academy in her Sentinel job. He found out that Ewel was going to Al-Far to give a conference, so he offered Luce's services as an escort for the trip, as the roads and the city aren't safe. Knowing Luce's fascination for Earth, and Ewel's origins, he thought they would get along well. What he hadn't expected was for them to come back with friendship bracelets, three hundred inside jokes, and probably a blood pact.

While Luce is not supposed to share shadowalker knowledge with anyone outside of the guild, he does tell Ewel a lot about his training, in exchange for knowledge about the other world. Ewel taught Luce Earth slang, and Salim is both confused and mortified because he hasn't set foot on Earth in like twenty years and doesn't understand anything they're saying.

[edsonlnoe]

Infinite Playlist 2022 | Colaboración

1. Andrea (ft. Buscabulla) + Ojitos Lindos (ft. Bomba Estéreo) + Otro Atardecer (ft. The Marías), Bad Bunny

2. Weird Goodbyes (ft. Bon Iver), The National

3. (Pick Me Up) Euphoria, James Blake, Labrinth // I’m Tired, Labrinth, Zendaya

4. papi bones (ft. Shygirl), FKA twigs

5. Días Que No Lloro, Benjamín Walker, Silvana Estrada

6. Contigo, Sebastián Yatra, Pablo Alborán

7. Mascarade, YENDRY x Lous and the Yakuza

8. Ghost in the Machine (ft. Phoebe Bridgers) + Open Arms (ft. Travis Scott), SZA

9. Cracker Island (ft. Thundercat) + New Gold (ft. Tame Impala and Bootie Brown), Gorillaz // Caravan, DAGR x Portugal. The Man

10. Spitting Off the Edge of the World (ft. Perfume Genius), Yeah Yeah Yeahs

11. Potion (with Dua Lipa & Young Thug), Calvin Harris // Let Somebody Go, Coldplay x Selena Gomez

12. Separarnos, Caloncho, Bobby Pulido // Somos Iguales (ft. Louchie Lou y Michie One), Ozuna x Tokischa

[deambulationsdelabibliothecaire]

Hateread de Tara Duncan tome 10 – Dragons contre démons - Chapitres 14-15

Ceci est un Hateread du tome 10 de la saga Tara Duncan, inspiré par le long travail de Patricklemorse. Pour plus d’explications ou d’introduction, référez vous au post « Hateread de Tara Duncan tome 10 – Dragons contre démons - 0 : Dans les épisodes précédents » !

L’ensemble des extraits cités entre guillemets et en italiques appartiennent à madame Sophie Audoin-Mamikonian, que j’appellerai Madame S.A.M par facilité.

Salut les bgs ! J’espère que vous avez passé de chouettes fêtes de fin d’année et que 2024 vous apportera de bonnes choses !

De mon côté, quoi de mieux pour commencer l’année que de reprendre ma relation équivoque et ingrate avec un bouquin qui ne m’a rien demandé. Vous l’avez compris, c’est le retour des Hatereads !

La dernière fois, Cal était mal en point, Mara apprenait que sa soeur et son crush sortaient ensemble, et pour ne rien enlever au piquant de ce charmant épisode de sitcom chapitre, tous les indices pointaient vers Robin en tant que responsable de l’attaque contre Cal, bien que le demi-elfe soit innocent !

On en était resté à la fuite de Robin des cachots du palais, qui s’accompagne, semble-t-il, d’autres mauvaises surprises…

Le chapitre d’aujourd’hui s’intitule “Lisbeth, ou comment posséder un palais tellement grand, qu’on n’arrête pas d’y perdre des gens, ce qui est ennuyeux lorsque ceux-ci sont censés être prisonniers.”

Construisez un bureau par personne que vous recevez, qu’ils disaient. Ce sera marrant, qu’ils disaient.

Ah oui, et on a déjà un problème avec ce titre, mais je vais faire une fleur en cette nouvelle année et ignorer la virgule de trop qui se balade derrière le “tellement grand”. On va dire que c’est mon cadeau de Noël en retard.

“— Quoi ?

Fou de rage, Safir Dragosh empoigna le pauvre garde qui venait de lui annoncer l’horrible nouvelle.

Selenba avait disparu.

En même temps qu’un autre prisonnier, Robin M’angil.

— Mais comment est-ce possible ? rugit le vampyr, hors de lui. Elle était sous surveillance 26 heures sur 26 !

— Nous… nous l’avons mise pendant quelques heures en prison en bas, parce que les salles du haut ont été réquisitionnées.

Safir réalisa qu’il était en train de soulever le thug, dont le visage virait au rouge et les pieds ne touchaient plus terre. Le grand vampyr prit une profonde inspiration et reposa sa victime, puis recula, histoire de ne pas lui faire mal involontairement, vu que là, il sentait ses canines l’élancer tellement il avait envie de le mordre.”

Après ce début mouvementé, je pourrais d’ores et déjà donner des mauvais points à Safir pour violence gratuite. Mais il a de la chance, ma lecture du chapitre 7 commence à remonter et je ne suis plus autant en colère contre lui qu’à ce moment-là. Et honnêtement, après avoir vu les gardes de ce palais étaler généreusement leur incompétence, je comprends la réaction. Cela dit, je garde à l’œil monsieur « Je continue de désirer mon ex, au mépris de la relation que j’ai construite avec sa sœur ».

Le fait que toutes les salles d’interrogatoire ont été réquisitionnées en même temps interpelle le vampyr, et celui-ci ordonne au garde thug de lui montrer.

« — Euh, risqua le thug avec un courage inouï, vous devriez peut-être d’abord…

Et il désigna la mâchoire de Safir qui débordait de crocs partout.

Le vampyr comprit et les rétracta d’un air mauvais. Puis lui fit signe de passer devant lui.

Le thug obéit et précéda le vampyr en évitant soigneusement de le toucher. Il avait déjà vu un vampyr perdre son sang-froid (ah ah) et il n’avait pas du tout l’intention de revoir cette scène de nouveau, il avait fait assez de cauchemars comme ça, merci beaucoup. »

Bon, okay, j’avoue, j’aime bien ce début de chapitre pour l’instant, le petit jeu de mot avec « sang-froid » était simple mais efficace, et j’aime bien le rappel selon lequel Safir est quand même quelqu’un d’effrayant. La scène fonctionne pour moi.

Ça a pas intérêt à être une préparation de chapitre nul dans un trench-coat, parce que ma méfiance est endormie pour l’instant.

« Ils sortirent en trombe sous le regard plein de compassion des autres gardes qui étaient drôlement contents de ne pas être à sa place, les soupilutes44. (Ce livre me provoque constamment avec des mots improbables jamais entendus avant, mais je jure que je n’irai pas voir le glossaire. Littéralement ce terme est mis en bout de phrase dans un coin de chapitre, il ne sert à rien. Tiens, je devrais lire l’ensemble du glossaire à la fin de ma critique, ça devrait être marrant).

Il ne leur fallut pas très longtemps pour arriver aux prisons où des tas de gens s’activaient afin d’essayer de comprendre comment quelqu’un leur avait piqué non pas un, mais deux prisonniers. (Je suppose qu’il y aura une explication à ça, mais je trouve ça assez convenient que les deux seuls évadés soient Robin et Selenba, alors qu’on sait pertinemment qu’il y a aussi dans ces prisons le type qui a tenté d’assassiner Mourmur, notamment. D’ailleurs le type qui a tenté d’assassiner Mourmur me manque, il était drôle).

Même si Safir était fou de rage, il devait avouer qu’il n’avait pas du tout envie d’être à la place de l’Imperator, responsable des armées, certes, mais aussi de la sécurité du palais, et qui venait, plusieurs fois de suite, d’être pris en flagrant délit d’incompétence. Ce que bien sûr, personne ne lui dirait jamais en face. À moins d’avoir vraiment très envie d’aller faire un petit tour en OutreMonde… »

On se passera de ton avis, Safir « J’aime toujours Selenba qui a un red flag comme étendard » Dragosh.

Cela dit, il a pas tort, à part faire le beau derrière Lisbeth et s’entraîner avec Tara, Sandor n’est pas très productif. J’ai du mal à lui en imputer la faute, cependant, on dirait que madame S.A.M. n’a voulu le penser que comme une gravure de mode, et qu’elle préfère se focaliser sur les autres personnages plutôt que sur lui. Si elle l’écrivait comme il mérite d’être écrit, quelque chose me dit que soit les gardes du palais auraient été remplacés depuis longtemps, soit il n’aurait rien du fier gaillard qu’on en fait. Quand on voit que Lisbeth refuse de l’envoyer sur Tadix sous prétexte qu’il s’en prendrait aux démons pendant des négociations commerciales, le bougre m’a l’air moins fin qu’il est décrit en permanence.

Tiens, quitte à donner mon avis sur lui, autant poursuivre. Je sais que ça fait quatorze chapitres, et que j’avais dit que je commenterais les personnages au fil de leurs apparitions, mais pour être sincère je n’en ai pas ressenti le besoin jusqu’à présent. Et surtout, les lire dans ce tome m’a permis de renforcer l’avis que j’avais jusque-là sur eux.

Lisbeth et Sandor ont une dynamique plutôt intéressante. Lisbeth est un personnage tyrannique qui n’apparaît pas toujours comme bienveillante envers Tara, et qui alterne entre complots, caprices et travail en commun avec les héros. Ça en fait un personnage très imprévisible ; ce que je nommais autrefois, dans mes tropes préférés, le « Bon Tuteur Problématique ». Sandor, par contraste, est plus droit et monolithique : il est, dans mon imagination, comme l’ombre de Lisbeth. Quelqu’un de mesuré qui exerce son devoir d’une main de fer, et n’hésite pas, contrairement à sa sœur, à montrer son antipathie envers Tara. Ils sont, en duo, depuis des années au pouvoir, et il est certain qu’ils ont traversé beaucoup de passes ; j’en veux pour preuve la sphère-négation (c’est comme ça que j’appelle l’artefact qu’ils gardent, apparue dans le chapitre 8).

Le problème, c’est que plus le temps passe, plus cette impression de dynamique est mise aux arrêts pour quelque chose de bien moins intéressant. Lisbeth, qui prenait déjà toute la lumière, éclipse totalement Sandor dans toutes leurs scènes d’apparition. De toutes les occasions où Sandor aurait pu intervenir, être utile, être enfin son propre personnage, aucune n’a vraiment été prise, et il se retrouve accessoire alors que sa position dans le gouvernement devrait en faire un acteur majeur de l’histoire. Quant à Lisbeth, elle passe d’un personnage qui nous interpelle à quelqu’un d’ennuyeux, qui reprend les tropes de superpuissance de Tara sans rien pour contraster, si bien qu’elle en devient flanderisée. Malgré toutes les décisions prises dans ce tome et l’histoire de l’empoisonnement, on dirait que le personnage perd en épaisseur, car ses motivations sont dictées par l’action. Elle n’est moteur de rien et se contente de réagir, un comble pour une Impératrice.

Bref, je ne dirais pas qu’il faut reprocher au personnage de Lisbeth d’écarter Sandor, c’est davantage une erreur d’écriture qu’autre chose. Et critiquer l’incompétence d’un personnage qu’on sous-écrit, c’est un peu cracher dans sa soupe après avoir mis trop de sel.

Bien, après cet interlude, reprenons. Safir, en observant les salles d’interrogatoire, perçoit une odeur de sang. Plus exactement, il s’agit du sang de Selenba, et ça le fait réagir au quart de tour : il se transforme en loup, et suit la piste. Celle-ci le mène à traverser un mur qui amène à un tunnel secret, où se trouve Selenba. Celle-ci est affalée et blessée, mais toujours vivante. Safir lui demande ce qu’il s’est passé, et elle prétend ne se souvenir de rien à part de quelqu’un lui jetant quelque chose sur la tête. Mais Safir perçoit qu’elle ment, ce dont il n’était pas capable quand elle était encore buveuse de sang humain.

« Il s’affaissa un peu. Ce qu’il craignait était en train de se produire. Elle l’avait piégé, elles les avaient tous piégés pour une très mystérieuse raison qui exigeait qu’elle soit au palais d’une part et qu’elle redevienne normale de l’autre. ��

« Il prit une grande inspiration et sourit gentiment, faisant taire son cœur blessé, encore une fois. Lui aussi pouvait jouer. Et n’allait pas s’en priver.

Galamment, il souleva Selenba dans ses bras en dépit du plafond trop bas, ce qui la fit glousser. Il faillit la laisser tomber. (t’aurais dû, ç’aurait été marrant) L’entendre glousser était tellement hors de la nature de Selenba qu’il se mordit la lèvre pour ne pas lui demander qui elle était en réalité. Mais elle passa ses deux bras autour de son cou et blottit sa tête blanche contre son épaule, avec un soupir de soulagement, et il décida que les explications pouvaient attendre.

Pour l’instant, il avait une mission.

La piéger. »

La faire tomber ça aurait été plus efficace.

Et le… le chapitre est fini ? Le chapitre intitulé « Lisbeth » où Lisbeth n’apparaît même pas… ? Est fini ? Je suis soufflée, c’était ma foi une fin de chapitre très abrupte et rapide.

Non, on peut pas s’arrêter comme ça. Pour la peine, on enchaîne. Et tant pis si le chapitre 15 fait potentiellement trente pages de long, y avait pas à me laisser sur ma faim comme ça.

Le chapitre 15 s’intitule donc « Archange, ou comment aller à un rendez-vous galant sans savoir si le type veut vous épouser ou vous assassiner… ce qui donne, indéniablement, un certain piment audit rendez-vous. ».

Si le chapitre est du point de vue de Tara et qu’Archange n’y apparaît pas, ce serait le meilleur enchaînement de l’année, je pense. Sachant qu’on est le 4 janvier, y a de la marge. (Note de la moi de plus tard : évidemment qu'Archange y apparaît pas)

« Toute idée de batifolage envolée, Tara dit à Cal qu’elle revenait très vite et fila comme un rominet. Sa tante l’attendait à la prison. Et ses vêtements, comme ses cheveux, étaient noir de nuit, noir d’encre, noir de suie, montrant très bien qu’elle n’était pas contente, mais alors pas contente du tout. (ça doit ma foi être fort peu pratique d'avoir la palette de tes émotions qui s'affiche en permanence sur ta tête. Magister et Lisbeth sont pareils de ce point de vue-là)

— Que s’est-il passé ? haleta Tara, qui, toute dignité enfuie, avait couru comme une dératée, en maudissant pour la énième fois l’inconcevable immensité du palais.

— C’est ce que j’aimerais bien savoir, répondit sa tante avec un certain agacement. D’abord on retrouve un assassin dans les poutres de mon plafond, ensuite un autre assassin se volatilise de mes prisons. Ce n’est plus un palais que j’ai, mais une véritable passoire !

A ses côtés, Xandiar sembla se ratatiner. Il était responsable de la sécurité, sous la supervision de l’Imperator. Il avait remis sa démission dix minutes plus tôt, démission qu’avait sèchement refusée l’Impératrice. »

Ok Macron.

(Pour les personnes du futur qui tomberaient par hasard sur cette critique, je fais allusion au fait que Macron a rejeté la démission de Darmanin, pas à notre cher credo « Macron démission ». Oui, je sais, ça gâte une blague de l’expliquer mais celle-là elle peut être un poil technique en fonction d’où vous êtes dans le temps)

« — Je sais que vous faites de votre mieux, avait-elle dit (Ça se discute) [...] Mais les temps changent, les technologies évoluent, la magie se perfectionne. Il va falloir que vous travailliez plus en collaboration avec nos laboratoires afin que le palais soit encore mieux protégé.

Le grand garde avait opiné. Il œuvrait déjà en étroite collaboration avec les laboratoires, sauf que leurs machins ne fonctionnaient pas toujours si bien, et que Xandiar était très partisan de la bonne vieille méthode. Mettre des yeux et des oreilles bien humaines ou thugs ou elfes un peu partout. Jusqu’à preuve du contraire, les êtres conscients étaient encore, à ce jour, plus intelligents que les machines. Que les plus malins parvenaient très bien à tromper. (Alors oui, mais les êtres conscients aussi peuvent être trompés. Vous voulez une liste des personnes présentes dans le palais qui se sont fait duper, depuis le début de ce tome, ou ça va aller ?) Mais il pouvait comprendre l’Impératrice. Depuis qu’elle avait été possédée, deux fois, puis empoisonnée, elle était particulièrement sensible à tout ce qui pouvait menacer son environnement. D’autant plus qu’à présent, elle pouvait penser à sa descendance. Il frissonna. L’Impératrice était déjà implacable, il ne voulait pas imaginer ce que cela donnerait lorsqu’elle aurait des enfants à protéger… »

Oh mais ça suffit avec vos clichés ! Qui vous dit que Lisbeth sera seulement une bonne mère ? C’est une personne capricieuse et impulsive, si ça se trouve, ce sera la pire daronne de l’univers et elle négligera ses gosses dès qu’elle en aura ! La meuf vit dans l’opulence, a tout ce qu’elle désire en un claquement de doigts et est décrite comme quelqu’un de monstrueux et d’implacable, et de plus, c’est péniblement si elle fait attention aux jeunes gens qui l’entourent (bonjour, Mara qui a pété son câble dans son coin et à laquelle personne ne fait attention (je m’en remets pas), bonjour Tara que Lisbeth est prête à envoyer à la mort sur une planète qui va exploser, bonjour Jar et rebonjour Mara, qu'elle n'a sans doute pas prévenus et qui vont se retrouver encore plus orphelins qu'avant quand tout ça va se faire sans qu'ils le sachent) ! Faut arrêter de l’imaginer comme une potentielle maman louve qui veillera sur ses gamins comme sur la prunelle de ses yeux, à la fin.

Xandiar explique que Robin a disparu et qu’il a été remplacé par un autre type, apparemment ramassé dans la rue au pif, clairement le gars a pas signé pour sa meilleure journée. Les caméras ont également été trafiquées, et aucune image de ce qu’il s’est passé deux heures auparavant n’a pu être récupérée, même par voie magique. Chose étrange, l’appareil qui empêche les prisonniers d’utiliser leur magie était bien actif deux heures auparavant, ce qui signifie que l’évasion s’est faite de façon vanilla.

Mévora et T’andilius, les parents de Robin, débarquent. Lisbeth permet à T’andilius de participer à l’enquête, et sur ce, Safir arrive à son tour avec Selenba dans les bras, et apprend à tout ce beau monde sa découverte d’un tunnel secret. Lisbeth distribue ses ordres, puis va avec Tara dans sa chambre, encore une fois. Là-bas, elle lui demande si Tara est prête à se rendre sur Tadix et à ne pas se laisser influencer par ses émotions.

« — Cal va rester ici, répondit-elle paisiblement en dépit de son cœur qui battait vite. Robin a disparu, et je ne peux rien y faire pour l’instant. Donc mes émotions ne seront influencées en rien.

— Mais, insista l’Impératrice, que se passera-t-il si Archange est sérieux ? S’il veut vraiment t’épouser, mettre en place un vrai commerce entre son univers et le nôtre ? Que feras-tu ?

Tara planta ses yeux bleu marine dans ceux, si semblables de sa tante. Sa réponse fut dictée autant par sa peur pour Robin que par sa colère et sa culpabilité. (mal parti pour être neutre émotionnellement parlant, ça.)

— Je ne peux pas te répondre, Lisbeth. Voyons d’abord ce qu’il veut exactement. Je me poserai ensuite la question de ce que je veux moi.

— Mais…

— Lisbeth, la coupa fermement Tara, je sais qu’en tant qu’Impératrice tu as l’habitude qu’on réponde à tes questions, mais je ne répondrai pas à celle-ci, parce que comme je viens de te le dire, je n’ai pas de réponse. Je te rappelle que le garçon dont j’ai été très amoureuse a disparu. Que je suis inquiète. Pour lui. Pour moi. Pour AutreMonde. Nous verrons bien lorsque nous serons confrontées aux démons. Une crise à la fois, s’il te plaît.

Lisbeth n’insista pas. Elle avait été mariée contre son gré, avec un homme qu’elle n’aimait pas et la contrariait considérablement. Puis elle avait appris à apprécier, et finalement à aimer Daril Kratus, même si cela n’avait rien à voir avec l’amour passionné qu’elle portait dorénavant à Various.

Aujourd’hui, elle voyait sa nièce se débattre exactement avec les mêmes problèmes et se demandait si Tara comprenait qu’elle n’avait pas le choix et que la paix de l’univers dépendrait sans doute de sa décision.

[...] Elle regarda sa nièce qui se mordait les lèvres avec agitation et se demanda si elle devait lui parler de ce qu’étaient, en réalité, les bombes de Tadix. »

Eh bah… paye ton Impératrice impitoyable. Tu veux dire que tu vas jouer à pile ou face, selon la réaction de Tara, en espérant que si Archange veut réellement l’épouser Tara acceptera sans broncher ? Lisbeth devrait être aux premières loges pour savoir que sa nièce ne va en faire qu’à sa tête, précisément parce qu’elle est en train de le lui avouer, et parce que l’Impératrice eu un parcours similaire au sien. En tant que personne égocentrique et politiquement investie, Lisbeth ne devrait pas lui laisser le choix, et simplement décider de partir sans Tara et négocier les termes avec Archange sans son assentiment. Que pourra faire Tara, à part protester ? Puisque l’univers dépendra de son accord ?

Ah oui, et j’ajoute mentalement un nouveau point au compteur inexistant « Les personnages évoquent très clairement un plan qui sera réutilisé plus tard dans l’intrigue, en termes qui sont non seulement giga vagues, pas agréables à lire mais qui sont en plus savamment calculés pour qu’on les ai oublié au moment où ce qu’ils concernent surgit », pour la question de la véritable nature des bombes de Tadix. Ça va finir par faire beaucoup, là.

Bon, mais Lisbeth reprend du poil de la bête, et prévient Tara qu’Angelica, son ancienne pire ennemie, sera présente parmi les invités. Tara n’est pas contente (et moi non plus, Angelica est un cliché de peste sans saveur), mais elle ne trouve rien à redire. En effet :

« — Et puis, assena-t-elle, je t’ai fait parvenir la liste de tous les invités afin que tu l’entérines, il ne me semble pas que tu aies barré son nom…

Tara fit la grimace. Sa tante venait de lui donner une leçon. Elle n’avait pas regardé la liste, parce qu’elle était furieuse que Lisbeth l’oblige à recevoir les prétendants. Petite vengeance dont elle était la victime à présent. Cela lui apprendrait à jouer au plus fin avec une nana qui dirigeait un empire alors qu’elle n’était même pas encore née. »

Ça, vous voyez, c’est un genre de passage que j’aime beaucoup dans les histoires avec des protagonistes jeunes : le moment où ils se font doubler car ils ne peuvent pas prévoir l’étendue du pouvoir que les plus âgés ont sur eux. C’est simple, c’est efficace, et ça manque cruellement dans cette série, si vous voulez mon avis.

Tara la quitte, mais rencontre Various dans les couloirs, qui est très fâché. En effet, Lisbeth refuse qu’il l’accompagne dans sa mission.

« — Par les crocs de mes ancêtres, grogna-t-il, plus loup que jamais alors que Tara savait très bien qu’il n’y avait pas de loups-garous dans sa famille… Enfin, pour ce qu’ils en savaient… (littéralement Mourmur, meuf) Cette femme va me rendre fou. À peine sommes-nous fiancés qu’elle veut aller affronter des démons. Et moi, elle croit que je suis quoi ? Un joujou ? Je suis un des meilleurs guerriers et mercenaires de Vilains. Comment pense-t-elle que j’ai conquis la plus grande partie de mon territoire ? (J’espère qu’on n’est pas censés être en désaccord avec Various ? Parce qu’il a parfaitement raison, ça ne sert à rien de l’écarter de cette mission. A la rigueur, on pourrait soulever l’argument qu’il serait nécessaire pour quelqu’un de rester sur le trône en l’absence de Lisbeth, mais Sandor remplit parfaitement ce rôle, et Various et Lisbeth ne sont pas mariés, donc la passation de pouvoir risque d’être compliquée. En l’état, Various prépare un mariage d’amour avec elle, ce n’est pas pour la laisser tomber !)

[...]

Enfin, il se tut, obligé de reprendre sa respiration, et Tara put glisser un très perfide :

— Tu sais, ma tante change souvent d’avis. Tu peux certainement la convaincre si tu t’y prends bien ! »

Mais… mais quelle connasse ?

Certes, je suis d’accord avec Various (en partie parce que je ne suis pas contre l’idée de voir des personnages plus variés dans l’action du tome), mais quand même ! L’adjectif « perfide » suggère que Tara ne soulève pas l’argument pour l’aider, mais bien pour faire chier Lisbeth. Et comment dire… c’est un peu limite de l’encourager à foncer vers sa mort, simplement pour embarrasser sa tante ?

Lisbeth n’a fait que mêler Angelica à la liste des invités, et certes, c’est monstrueux car celle-ci risque aussi la mort, mais 1/ ce n’est pas une amie de Tara, au contraire 2/ ce n’était pas le choix de Lisbeth, mais quelque chose d’imposé par le père d’Angelice 3/ il y a une réelle raison à sa présence, aka le fait qu’elle possède la main de lumière.

Encourager Various à aller sur Tadix n'est en rien équivalent ! Et comme ils avaient partagé une scène un peu complice au début de l’histoire, j’espérais que Tara tenait un peu à lui, mais il faut croire que non.

Tara tente un crochet chez Mara, qui ne répond pas, et elle s’en désole mais sans plus (connasse), et va dans sa suite, où elle ne trouve ni Cal, ni ses amis. En revanche, elle a un message de Cal, qui l’informe qu’ils ont tous décidé de venir sur Tadix pour l’aider, malgré tout.

C’est dans ces dispositions qu’elle se prépare à partir, après avoir vaguement retenté de contacter Mara, toujours sans résultat. Elle songe que sa sœur ne viendra sans doute pas la voir, même en la voyant filer vers une mort certaine. Et elle ne se dit pas que le cœur de sa frangine sera d’autant plus brisé quand Cal disparaîtra aussi direction Tadix. Connasse.

« Faire les bagages pour Tadix n’était pas très compliqué, vu qu’à son grand soulagement la seule chose que Tara devait emporter c’était son corps, son cerveau (oui, ça c’était indispensable, compte tenu de ce qui l’attendait), son pégase et sa changeline.

En revanche, pour Mourmur, qui avait décidé, en dépit du danger qu’elle lui avait abondamment décrit et qu’il avait balayé d’un dédaigneux « Tu plaisantes, jeune Tara, faire exploser une planète et me demander de ne pas y assister ? Impossible », c’était une autre paire de manches. (MON IMBÉCILE MONOMANIAQUE MAL EXPLOITÉ PRÉFÉRÉ EST DE RETOUR ET IL VA FAIRE LE TRAJET AVEC ELLE, QUE DEMANDE LE PEUPLE, JE SUIS DE NOUVEAU HEUREUSE) Tara n’imaginait même pas le nombre de tonnes que représentaient les innombrables appareils transportés par Mourmur. Et comme la plus grande partie de ces machines étaient mi-organiques mi-métalliques et respiraient, même si Tara ne voulait surtout pas savoir ni pourquoi ni comment, il ne pouvait pas les mettre dans les idéales poches sans fond de sa robe de sortcelier. »

Vous savez quoi, j’adore le concept de machines mi organiques mi métalliques. Je suis complètement biaisée mais habituez-vous vite.

Tara retrouve Grr’ul, son ancienne garde du corps troll, ainsi que le mari de celle-ci. Les deux ont décidé en leur âme et conscience de l’accompagner, en dépit des risques encourus, et wow, qu’est-ce qu’il se passe aujourd’hui, c’est la fête aux personnages secondaires ! Ce n’est franchement pas pour me déplaire, même si je m’inquiète de leurs risques de décès, et que je trouve dommage qu’ils engagent leur pomme pour Tara. Cela dit, j’aime beaucoup le fait que Various ait comme motivation d’aider Lisbeth, et Mourmur de simplement assister à une potentielle explosion planétaire – ce qui est horrible, au passage, mais bon c’est Mourmur.

Dans tous les cas, ce chapitre respire le début de l’action, et après autant de chapitres à piétiner, ça me donne très envie de voir ce qu’il va se passer.

« L’arrivée très majestueuse de l’Impératrice stoppa les protestations de Tara. Parfois, la jeune fille pensait à un film qu’elle avait vu sur Terre, Astérix et Cléopâtre. Les arrivées de Lisbeth semblaient très proches de celles de Cléopâtre. Des tas de trompes, des tas de danseurs, de chanteurs, des pétales de fleurs, des gardes partout et l’Impératrice au milieu, sur un trône d’or et de rubis flottant au-dessus du sol, tiré par des pégases dorés. (Grmblll. Avis très personnel, mais y a une façon de faire quand il s’agit d’évoquer d’autres fictions dans une histoire. Des personnages peuvent faire des rapprochements et des parallèles, pas de souci, mais là, c’est la première fois qu’on entend parler d’une arrivée en grandes pompes de Lisbeth. Du coup, ça laisse à penser que c’est vraiment pris d’Astérix, et ça donne un sentiment de facilité à la scène)

[…] La changeline, que Tara avait priée de l’habiller confortablement en prévision du voyage, s’aligna sur l’Impératrice. En l’espace que quelques secondes, Tara se retrouva juchée sur d’impressionnants talons, une somptueuse robe de dentelle grise, dorée et rouge moulant son corps pour s’évaser en une petite traîne à l’arrière, tandis qu’une couronne de rubis et de diamants venait retenir ses longs cheveux blonds.

Ben, ça allait être pratique pour voyager, tout ça. »

J’aurais bien mis un point supplémentaire à mon compteur « L’Oréal, c’est pas du tout le moment », mais ce rappel de l’existence de la changeline renforce mon impression que les changelins seront utiles dans ce bouquin, donc on va dire que cet ajout est en latence en attendant que l’impression soit confirmée ou non.

Tara voit apparaître le déclencheur de la bombe sur son hor, prêt à l’usage à tout moment, avec différentes façons de l’activer en fonction de si elle est libre de ses mouvements ou non. Elle rejoint Lisbeth sur le trône, et tout le beau monde de la délégation se prépare à partir. Tout le monde est présent, sauf…

« Elle ne vit Various nulle part. Apparemment, il n’était pas venu à bout de sa tante. Tant mieux, il aurait au moins une chance de survivre, lui »

C’est dit d’une façon tellement nonchalante, c’est pour me tuer. De manière générale, Tara n’a aucune pensée particulière pour tout ce beau monde qui va probablement mourir avec Tadix, mais bon.

« Tara eut un pincement au cœur. Elle partait pour ce qui risquait bien d’être sa dernière aventure, elle ne savait pas du tout si ses amis allaient réussir à la rejoindre et vu le visage de Mara qui la dévisageait avec fureur, elle était loin d’avoir réglé tous ses problèmes avec sa petite sœur. Celle-ci lui avait tourné le dos lorsqu’elle avait tenté de lui demander pardon. »

Oui, d’ailleurs, au passage, tu aurais pu lui dire que Cal risquait de te suivre. Même à mi-mots, en langage codé. Ça aurait peut-être capté son attention. Mais bon, tant pis, hein, dis pas adieu à ta sœur.

La délégation débarque sur Tadix, avec un changement d’ambiance plutôt chouette, au passage. Tara note que la magie fonctionne moins bien sur Tadix et que le dôme qui les protège pourrait peut-être céder à tout moment. Tout le monde est très content d’accueillir l’Impératrice d’Omois, et pendant ce temps, Tara s’inquiète car même si elle a tout fait pour empêcher Cal et les autres de la rejoindre, il est possible que rien n’y fasse.

« Observant tous les invités avec attention, Tara remarqua qu’ils étaient tous bien moins gracieux et beaux que d’habitude, y compris l’Impératrice.

Il ne lui fallut pas longtemps pour comprendre que Lisbeth, se méfiant des espions tout autant que des démons, avait interdit toute illusion de beauté. Les ministres n’avaient pas aimé, surtout ceux d’entre eux qui étaient gros et chauves…

Tout le monde était donc dans son état naturel ce qui, justement, ne leur était pas naturel. Il y avait autant de femmes que d’hommes dans les délégations et celles d’entre elles qui avaient l’habitude d’utiliser les artifices afin de paraître plus belles faisaient grise mine. »

Pfff… déjà, assimiler la beauté au fait de n’être ni gros ni chauve, merci beaucoup, hein. C’est une tendance de la série qui m’a toujours beaucoup déplu, et qui, je pense, aurait dû être critiquée quelque part. Ce culte de l’apparence physique a une ambiance malsaine, et pour un bouquin destiné à des ados et dont tous les héros sont décrits comme étant beaux, c’est vachement chiant.

D’ailleurs, c’est un autre élément, non-ironique celui-là, qui fait que j’apprécie Mourmur : il n’est pas conventionnellement beau. Il est âgé, ça se voit à ses cheveux en pétard blancs, et de plus, il a vaguement un handicap, puisqu’il a un pied abîmé, si je me souviens bien. Croyez-moi, j’aurais bien davantage de personnages préférés dans ce foutu univers si on pouvait y croiser des personnages gros, ou pas conventionnellement beaux. Si un ou une ministre refusait de changer son apparence physique car il ou elle s’acceptait comme il/elle était, je l’adorerais à coup sûr, et ce serait un bon moyen de remettre en question cette histoire de changement d’apparence !

Sur ce, le chapitre est terminé, et ce post aussi par la même occasion ! Si le chapitre 14 m’a laissée sur ma faim, le chapitre 15 m’a beaucoup plus lancée, j’ai hâte de poursuivre la critique. Et d’ailleurs, sur ces entrefaites, nous avons atteint la moitié du livre ! Bravo à tous pour votre patience.

La prochaine fois, nous verrons le magicgang – donc le point de vue qui m’intéresse le moins, mais je vais essayer de m’accrocher.

D’ici là, passez une bonne fin de semaine !

[beardedcherryblossomface]

~•FATHER LIKE DAUGHTER•~

Pt2

Hi guys I'm back again I. Trying find ideas so this story might just be a big flop 😭

Vanessa was in the back of her dad car she was going home early because of a headache. Dad can we get some McDonald's

Vanessa no we have food at home

But your bad at cooking

No im not. If you think im bad at cooking then you should cook

vanessa said nothing in the back seat

There was a loud thug. dad what was that...Vanessa voice Sounded worried what the hell was that william Stepped out of the car and saw a kid bloody body SHIT oh just great!! And I just washed this!!

dad what's wrong

Nothing hun-bon It's just a Silly squirrelWHAT *vanessa ran out of the car*

nessa get your ass back in the car

But-

NOW

*she got back in the car*

William Drived off

Dad I saw the body that wasn't a squirrel why do you keep killing people

Vanessa you need to mind your Own business sometimes you make me go crazy with so many damm questions and when we get home you can't watch tv until your done with your homework your teacher called me that you been throwing your homework in the trash for 2 months now and we're doing all of it

Ughh but that is so much.

Well you shouldn't been doing that Stupid shit!

(I'm sorry that this story is short)

[notsomajestic]

Your top 5 favorite fanfics!

I chose my favourites from five different fandoms! I really should start bookmarking more; I had to go back through the ship tags for some of these…

Fics and their summaries under the cut~

hearts and bones (28237 words) by honey_wheeler Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage Relationships: Renly Baratheon/Loras Tyrell Characters: Renly Baratheon, Loras Tyrell, Robert Baratheon, Margaery Tyrell Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Falling In Love Summary:

Loras is gliding the razor carefully over his chin now. Renly hates this part; Loras is too close for too long, concentrating on his task with a focus that makes it too easy to stare at him. And Renly has done far too much staring. He could probably provide a tally of Loras’s eyelashes by now (a staggering lot), or identify which side of his lower lip Loras bites when he’s concentrating (the left), or number the tawny flecks in his eyes (eight in one eye, five in the other). He could probably even find the freckle just under Loras’s eyebrow in the dark. With his tongue. Gods.

RIBBONS (104397 words) by LNRlavish Chapters: 20/20 Fandom: ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Leone Abbacchio/Bruno Buccellati Characters: Leone Abbacchio, Bruno Buccellati, Guido Mista, Narancia Ghirga, Pannacotta Fugo Additional Tags: Slow Build, Slow Burn, Getting to Know Each Other, Self-Esteem Issues, References to Depression, Pre-Canon, Mystery, Gangsters, Original Character(s), Minor Original Character(s), Internalized Homophobia, Closeted Character, Internal Monologue, Internal Conflict, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Romance, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, Light Angst, Gritty, Playing Fast and Loose with Stands, Abbacchio Feels, Fashion!, Unreliable Narrator, Bruno Whump, Abbacchio Has Anxiety, And possibly PTSD, Drug Abuse, Awkward Tension, Torture, Dance Dance Revolution - Freeform, Explicit Sexual Content, Low-key turned High-key Praise Kink Summary:

Bruno Buccellati seems to enjoy picking up strays from the gutter. He shouldn’t have bothered with Abbacchio. The Ribbons, Napoli underbelly thugs, drag them down together, and tie them closer than he ever thought possible.

The Revenant (4268 words) by Lycaste Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Transformers - All Media Types, The Transformers (IDW Generation One) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Megatron/Starscream Characters: Megatron, Starscream Additional Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Oral Sex, Sticky Sex, Dysfunctional Relationships, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reclaiming, Dominance, complicated relationships on barren asteroids, Kink Meme, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot Summary:

Megatron clearly needed a different tactic this time. He'd already subjugated Starscream physically, to do so again would send him further down the spiral of resentment and despair. To turn Starscream's universe into a pleasure-drenched haze of capitulation, Megatron just needed to employ some patience. After all, there was more than one way to possess another mech.

Bon(d)ing sessions (15442 words) by Papy_1412 Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Reiner Braun/Eren Yeager Characters: Reiner Braun, Eren Yeager Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Explicit Sexual Content, Dubious Consent, Marathon Sex, Switching, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Wet & Messy, Bondage, Nipple Play, Coming Untouched, Multiple Orgasms, Come Eating, Dom/sub, Humiliation, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, First Time Blow Jobs, Snowballing, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Unhealthy Relationships, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Just typical Reiner stuff, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bottom Reiner Braun, Character Study, Internalized Homophobia Summary:

“Hey Eren, I get it, I have a fat dick — but stop staring like that. It’s embarrassing.” “S-Sorry,” he slurred. “It’s just…” The gulp that resonated between them gave him a chill. He suddenly wasn’t so sure he wanted to hear his reasons. “The first time, you told me I should think about things that made me hard. And it’s right in front of me now.”

hide your head in the sand (19502 words) by ichinoseharu Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: Free! Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Matsuoka Rin/Yamazaki Sousuke Characters: Yamazaki Sousuke, Matsuoka Rin Summary:

He smiles easily at Sousuke as he draws closer and then reaches out to nudge him in the shoulder with a fist. When Rin looks up through the curtain of his windblown fringe though, Sousuke’s eyes are dark and unfathomable. He's looking right at Rin, and Rin can’t properly put words to it, but he feels a little like an errant fly caught in a spider’s web. It's unsettling.

[duranduratulsa]

Here are this week's 90's Fest Amazon Music Preferred Artists...

1. Nirvana (5 appearances)

2. Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Notorious B.I.G., Green Day, Pearl Jam (4 appearances)

3. Whitney Houston, The Goo Goo Dolls, Savage Garden, TLC, Rob Thomas, Dr Dre (3 appearances)

4. Aqua, Guns N' Roses, Coolio, LV, Sinéad O'Connor, Ice Cube, Counting Crows, Shania Twain, Backstreet Boys, Warren G, Nate Dogg, Metallica, Tracy Chapman Online, Outkast, Vanilla Ice, Smash Mouth, Sixpence None The Richer, Soundgarden, House Of Pain, Faith Hill, Beastie Boys, Matchbox Twenty, 4 Non Blondes, The Proclaimers, Beck, Blackstreet, Queen Pen, Salt N Pepa, Collective Soul, Ms. Lauryn Hill (2 appearances)

5. Nine Inch Nails, Naughty By Nature, Usher, Mariah Carey, Santana, Alanis Morissette, The Cure, U2, Third Eye Blind, MASE, Puff Daddy, Weezer, Extreme, Bryan Adams, The Verve, The Fugees, Keith Sweat, Sir Mix-A-Lot, The Smashing Pumpkins, Chris Isaak, Oasis, Mark Morrison, Bell Biv DeVoe, Aerosmith, Sarah McLachlan, R.E.M., En Vogue, Blind Melon, No Doubt, Soul Asylum, Cypress Hill, SWV, Spice Girls, Tim McGraw, Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers, Paula Cole, Britney Spears, Barenaked Ladies, Snoop Dogg, Eagle-Eye Cherry, Dave Matthews Band, Destiny's Child, Korn, Sheryl Crow, Spin Doctors, Wilson Phillips, Queensrÿche, Lonestar, Meat Loaf, Ginuwine, Faith No More, Lenny Kravitz, Hootie and the Blowfish, Billy Ray Cyrus, George Michael, Sugar Ray, Jon Bon Jovi, NSYNC, Marcy Playground, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Shaggy (1 appearance)

#amazonmusic #amazon #90s #90sfest #durandurantulsas3rdannual90sfest #nirvana #RIPCurtCobain #redhotchilipeppers #notoriousbig #RIPNotoriousBIG #greenday #pearljam #whitneyhouston #RIPWhitneyHouston #googoodolls #savagegarden #tlc #RIPLeftEye #robthomas #drdre #aqua #gunsnroses #GNR #coolio #ripcoolio #LV #sineadoconnor #ripsineadoconnor #icecube #countingcrows #shaniatwain #backstreetboys #WarrenG #natedogg #metallica #tracychapman #outkast #vanillaice #smashmouth #sixpencenonethericher #soundgarden #RIPChrisCornell #houseofpain #faithhill #beastieboys #matchboxtwenty #matchbox20 #4nonblondes

[joethetoonfanandoutcast]

Why I can never watch Sing 2 again

It's not only because of a pairing, but also because llumination does poorly to make it not look like an imitation of other things we've seen before that has little charm or effect:

Before we're introduced to Crystal, Suki's thought of as an individual but after that no one acknowledges her, not even Jimmy (he says Jerry's name but not hers), the gorilla thugs (they could have beaten her up as well since she worked for the bad guy but just ignore her like everyone else) and none of the Moon gang acknowledge her (they don't say "thanks for saving Buster's life"). She's basically been given the whole "secretaries are props, not people" treatment even though she kickstarted the sequel's plot and proved to show potential. She could have just not followed them at the end.

After witnessing the kind of boss Suki has to work for, I can't say that I side with Buster and the gang's views on her in the beginning when they never change their mind about her afterwards. It feels like they're getting butthurt over one person's statement, and that person does not have the best boss. I need something canon to prove otherwise or I'll never be convinced. I need something that doesn't imply "Thanks for helping, now get the hell out of here, you stupid judgy bitch!"

Jerry's just a cheap generic knock-off of every Disney villain's sidekick ever that is so annoying he makes Smee look like a rocket scientist.

Meena is still a shy worry-wart and her crush on a nice guy subplot is generic as crud, and not to mention, Alfonso is just a gender-bent clone of her and a way of shoehorning in Illumination's golden boy Pharrell.

Klaus is just a discount neighsayer with little to no charm.

Darius: not even remotely charming.

What could have made the thugs a bit more likable is subverting the scary thugs trope for one scene with them having idle chit chat like normal people.

Jimmy Crystal: another angry dictator with an attractive woman he doesn't deserve and who doesn't tickle my funny bone.

Clay Calloway: Illumination's Doc Hudson.

Nooshy is just a lynx Esmeralda who's overconfident enough to sass the a-hole monkey teacher, and the whole fandom has to be all under the impression that she's "there I taught you to dance and am an appropriate companion because I'm funny and young now let's get each other laid", and I do not remotely ship them.

Porsha: every furry may be easily appealed by her being a wolf, her being Halsey, her being into vintage (which I'm also into), and her brash loudness and poor acting, but I'm not

The 'being yourself and achieving your dream goals' message is hammered in along with the implied symbolism that ugly is good (most of Moon's crew are cartoonish and funny-looking) and good-looking (that would be Jimmy Crystal, Suki Lane, Porsha, Linda Le Bon, and the gazelle receptionist) is bad. Seriously, why can't we just live in a world where both funny-looking and not-funny-looking are valued equally, like we have a model human married to a fucking cartoon rabbit?

Suki at first to show potential as a brilliant subversion of 'all critics are bad' or 'businesswomen aren't likable' or 'salukis are worthless' is going straight into the trash bin due to Meledandri's statement: Illumination CEO Chris Meledandri stated, "It will involve characters from the original cast, but it will take us into a new world. It means she's getting axed in favor of Mike, Eddie and the new characters instead of squeezing her in somehow. They literally could have given her a short explaining that she'll never have anything to do with them again, acknowledging the furries who like her and her design.

I cannot watch this when they don't even try to mask that it's an uncharming imitation of the Muppets (2011) and Dreamgirls that doesn't break enough rules.

[rainwolfheart]

Fried Mush and Nug in translation

I'm doing some localization research and just wanted to share the French translation of the Green Eggs and Ham poem by Paragon Seuss (Haut Pignon in French) in The Noladar Anthology of Dwarven Poetry from DAO, because it's just as delightful. I think it's a great example of localization instead of direct translation, which is often necessary with poetry.

The entire poem in English and French, plus my literal translation of the French back into English, is below the cut, but here are some highlights and notes:

"Fried mush and nug" becomes "nug soup"

The concept of the poem is the same in both: a parody of Green Eggs and Ham, where someone is trying to convince someone else to eat something gross and they keep escalating the offers and refusals. But line-by-line the ideas are very different. Whereas the English has Mister Klug offering to eat the same dish in many ways (from a jug, with a bug, etc.) the French has Monsieur Brochard offering different types of food (duck, a bezoar, etc.)

(I don't recall ever reading Green Eggs and Ham in French so there may be additional translation jokes there)

The English rhyme is all words in -ug, whereas the french is all in -ard

"Are you on some kind of drug?" is ruder in French; the phrase could be at its most polite "you're a stupid idiot" or "arrogant idiot" but is really more like "you're an asshole".

The French has a sentence about hating the rich :D

Among the things Brochard offers to the other person are duck and leopard, which begs the question of how dwarves know of these animals. Are there Deep Roads ducks and leopards we haven't encountered before?

He also mentions a hearse, which could be some kind of carriage, but has never been mentioned in association with dwarves before lol

I wish I knew who wrote this codex and who did the localization because they're some of my favourite bits of dwarven lore. The Origins writing team was David Gaider, Eric Baudoin, Sheryl Chee, Daniel Erickson, Jennifer Hepler, Mary Kirby, Lukas Kristjanson, and Jay Turner; I'd bet on Hepler because she wrote a lot of the dwarven characters and questlines, but I don't know for sure. The localization was done by ExeQuo in France.

NB My French is Canadian so I may have missed some of the slangier bits.

English original (source: wiki)

Do you like fried mush and nug?

I do not like them Mister Klug I do not like fried mush and nug

Would you eat them on a rug? If you eat, you'll get a hug!

I would not eat them on a rug From you I would not want a hug

Then would you drink them from a jug? Come on, come on, give them a chug!

I would not drink them from a jug I'd rather eat a slimy slug

Would you eat them with a bug? Would you share them with a thug?

I would not share them with a thug I would not eat them with a bug Not for a hug Not on a rug From a jug I will not chug Come on, come on, now mister Klug Are you on some kind of drug?

Eat them in this hole I dug Eat them, eat them, don't just shrug

I've had it, had it, Mister Klug! Down, into that hole you dug Down with the thug And the slug And the bug

French Localization (source: Dragon Age Univers)

Qui aime la soupe au cochard ? Oh pas moi monsieur Brochard J'n'aime pas la soupe au cochard Préfères-tu un bon canard ? Ca c'est un plat de richard ! Je n'aime pas les canards Et encore moins les richards Voudrais-tu un bézoard ? Ca t'épargne les blizzards ! Je n'veux pas de bézoard Plutôt manger des cafards Pourquoi pas un léopard ? Qu'on savoure l'air hagard ? Je n'veux pas d'un air hagard Pour manger du léopard Ni richard Ni blizzard Ni cafard Allons donc monsieur Brochard Vous êtes un fieffé connard ! Mange-les dans ce corbillard Mange-les donc, ça t'f'ra du lard Ca suffit, monsieur Brochard ! Donnez-les à vos moutards Vos canards Vos bézoards Vos léopards

Comparison and literal translation

Do you like fried mush and nug? Qui aime la soupe au cochard ? Who likes nug soup?

I do not like them Mister Klug Oh pas moi monsieur Brochard Oh, not me, Mister Brochard I do not like fried mush and nug J'n'aime pas la soupe au cochard I don't like nug soup

Would you eat them on a rug? Préfères-tu un bon canard ? Do you prefer a good duck? If you eat, you'll get a hug! Ca c'est un plat de richard ! That's a rich person's dish!

I would not eat them on a rug Je n'aime pas les canards I don't like ducks From you I would not want a hug Et encore moins les richards And rich people even less

Then would you drink them from a jug? Voudrais-tu un bézoard ? Would you like a bezoar? Come on, come on, give them a chug! Ca t'épargne les blizzards ! They protect you from blizzards!

I would not drink them from a jug Je n'veux pas de bézoard I don't want a bezoar I'd rather eat a slimy slug Plutôt manger des cafards I'd rather eat cockroaches

Would you eat them with a bug? Pourquoi pas un léopard ? Why not a leopard? Would you share them with a thug? Qu'on savoure l'air hagard ? Which we savour with a haggard look?

I would not share them with a thug Je n'veux pas d'un air hagard I don't want a haggard look I would not eat them with a bug Pour manger du léopard To eat leopard Not for a hug Ni richard Nor rich person Not on a rug Ni blizzard Nor blizzard From a jug I will not chug Ni cafard Nor cockroach Come on, come on, now mister Klug Allons donc monsieur Brochard Come on, Mister Brochard Are you on some kind of drug? Vous êtes un fieffé connard ! You're an arrogant idiot! (or stupid idiot, or asshole)

Eat them in this hole I dug Mange-les dans ce corbillard Eat them in this hearse Eat them, eat them, don't just shrug Mange-les donc, ça t'f'ra du lard Just eat them, it'll make you lard (fatten you up)

I've had it, had it, Mister Klug! Ca suffit, monsieur Brochard ! That's enough, Mister Brochard! Down, into that hole you dug Donnez-les à vos moutards Give them to your brats (kids) Down with the thug Vos canards Your ducks And the slug Vos bézoards Your bezoars And the bug Vos léopards Your leopards

[giftideasfromaycaramba]

We all remember Oscar Wilde, but who speaks for Bosie? What about those ‘bad gays’ whose unexemplary lives reveal more than we might expect? Many popular histories seek to establish homosexual heroes, pioneers, and martyrs but, as Huw Lemmey and Ben Miller argue, the past is filled with queer people whose sexualities and dastardly deeds have been overlooked despite their being informative and instructive.

Based on the hugely popular podcast series of the same name, Bad Gays asks what we can learn about LGBTQ+ history, sexuality and identity through its villains, failures, and baddies. With characters such as the Emperor Hadrian, anthropologist Margaret Mead and notorious gangster Ronnie Kray, the authors tell the story of how the figure of the white gay man was born, and how he failed. They examine a cast of kings, fascist thugs, artists and debauched bon viveurs. Imperial-era figures Lawrence of Arabia and Roger Casement get a look-in, as do FBI boss J. Edgar Hoover, lawyer Roy Cohn, and architect Philip Johnson.

Together these amazing life stories expand and challenge mainstream assumptions about sexual identity: showing that homosexuality itself was an idea that emerged in the 19th century, one central to major historical events.

Bad Gays is a passionate argument for rethinking gay politics beyond questions of identity, compelling readers to search for solidarity across boundaries.