#Best part of this post was that I got to listen to my favourite song again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onlyangel4 · 1 month

Note

Ooo what about Got Me Started by Troye sivan with Charles??

got me started. cl16. writen + smau.

charles leclerc x model!reader

you thought attending the eras tour would be the most exciting part of the night. you never imagined you would meet the man of your dreams while there

author's note: guys this might be one of my favourite things i have ever written.

warnings: cursing.

y/ninsta posted a story

written: hanging with bestie begging her to tell me what surprise songs she is gonna play tonight

y/ninsta

liked by taylorswift, maisiepeters, sabrinacarpenter and 1,002,283

y/ninsta: gold rush

view all 14,852 comments

taylorswift: is this your hundredth attempt to convince me to play gold rush tonight

y/ninsta: yes, yes it is

user1: y/n is so real for the gold rush love

user2: come on taylor listen to your friend

sabrinacarpenter: pretty girl

y/ninsta: means a lot coming from the prettiest girl

celebsaterastour posted two stories

story one written: model y/n y/ln arriving to the stadium in milan in her gold rush inspired outfit

story two written: f1 driver charles leclerc spotted in the vip tent ahead of paramore's opening set

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"just follow me down here y/n", a security guard spoke trying to navigate you through the see of fans that swarmed you as soon as you got into the stadium. security had been awaiting your arrival but your driver had accidentally dropped you off at the general admission entrance and that meant the second fans saw you leaving your car you were swarmed by fans, they had good intentions but they also made it so you could not get to where you needed to go. so in a panic you had called over one of the stadium security guards and he managed to get through to taylor's security, the people that had been waiting for you to arrive. it was all a little bit of a mess but the big burly man in front of you effortlessly made the crowd part allowing you down onto the floor of the stadium. "taylor made a note to put you in the left vip tent, she said there ws someone there that she wanted you to meet", he spoke and you quirked an eyebrow. what was your best friend planning?. you just nodded your head with a smile and soon enough you were there in the tent, protected from the fans.

"thank god for that", you spoke as you picked up a bottle of water that had been set on the side. "are you alright?", a masculine voice spoke from your side and you looked up to be met with a man that you had never met before but you gave him a smile, "i'm okay there was a little bit of a mix up when getting into the stadium, so fans came running, for a moment there i thought i was going to get trampled", you ranted to this stranger before shaking your head, "sorry you probably don't want to listen to me yap on"

"on the contrary i quite like a yapper", he spoke and you laughed, finding this man's charm rather endearing. "i'm charles by the way", he introduced himself, "i'm y/n"

"so y/n what are you doing in milan? you don't sound like you are from around here"

"very perceptive", you teased, "i'm a model i kind of live whereever the jobs are but i have been working on a promotional campaign here. taylor is a very close friend of mine and i was gutted that i was not in the states when she was there so she arranged for me to come here", you explained and he listened, that was nice.

"i understand, i'm an f1 driver so i am all over the place most of the time, i usually miss out on big events like this and end up with fomo so i felt lucky that this show is on my week off", he spoke.

"well i hope you enjoy the show, taylor is an insane performer, she doesn't half know how to put on a show"

and with that the eras tour intro began to play signifying that your best friend was about to come on stage, you cheered for her, showing the man next to you that you truly were taylor's number one fan. the first few songs of the set flew by with you smiling from ear to ear the entire time. when lover began to play your body began to sway side to side in time with the music and charles found his body doing the same next to yours. charles would not call himself a massive taylor swift fan but he had heard that she put on a brilliant show and that was why he had arranged to attend the concert. but right now stealing glances at your happy swaying form next to him made him very grateful that he had come to the concert.

during the fearless section of the show the endorphins got to your brain and any ounce of shyness left your body so you turned to charles and began singing the lyrics with him bouncing a little on your heels just having the best time. charles even took your hands during love story just having the most fun ever. your happiness truly was infectious, he did not care that their were thoursands of people with cell phones surrounding the pair of you. honestly he hoped some of them were filming so he could have videos of this night forever.

as the concert went through you spent time just dancing and singing with charles but when taylor started singing delicate, it became apparent that there was tension their between you both, charles had moved to stand behind you and you leant you body back against his, your head resting against his stong chest, "is this okay?", he asked as his hands moved torest around your waist

"yes", you exhaled softly, you were still singing the songs but you definetly got a few lyrics wrong thanks to the intoxicating presence of the man behind you. if you were paying attention you would have noticed the way taylor seemed to be singing directly in the direction of the vip tent that you were in, her blue eyes watching you and charles a smug grin on her lips. but you did not notice that you were too busy trying to not get caught up in this moment you were sharing with a stranger.

when delicate finished charles moved back to your side rather than beside you, you grabbed a few drinks from the cooler that was in the vip tent asking if you wnated anything and you accepted one of the canned cocktails that you had asked taylor to get you and charles had a beer.

you and charles remained close for the rest of the show, gentle touches between both of you, charles gently moving your hair out of your face or resting an arm around your shoulders. it was nice, yes you knew nothing about this man but it just felt right.

when taylor got to the surprise song section of the concert you turned to charles, "I am going to kill her if she doesn't play my song" and that made charles laugh

"what is your song?", he asked

"oh you will know if she plays it"

and he knew straight away as taylor began to introduce the song.

"so many of you know that i do take requests for the surprise song section and well there is one person here who has gone above and beyond to request this song. this past week she has text me every single day about this one song. she even wore an outfit inspired by this song. safe to say this y/n y/ln's favourite song", taylor spoke and the fans that knew you cheered knowing exactly what taylor was about to sing and you were beaming, you pulled your phone out to film it but charles turned to you, "you enjoy this, i will film it", he spoke and and you handed him your phone. he filmed the song even getting some footage of you singing your heart out. once the song was done you smiled taking your phone back from charles kissing his cheek thank you.

as taylor finished singing karma you turned to charles, "are you going to the after party?", you questioned.

"i haven't been told about an after party", he spoke, obviously not wanting to leave your side but not wanting to go to a party that he had not been invited to.

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erastourupdates posted a story

written: charles leclerc and y/n y/ln were photographed arriving at a club in milan where taylor is holding her post show after party

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once inside of the club your eyes found taylor quickly, she was stood with travis smiling ear to ear at the sight of you and charles holding hands. you ran over to her pulling her into a hug, "you are insane", you laughed softly. charles had left you alone and headed to the bar to grab you both drinks.

"he is something else", you confided in your best friend, "we just have this chemistry, i can't even describe it"

"i watched you two during gold rush, he looked at you like a man stunned", taylor spoke and you blushed softly.

"i know i told you not to meddle in my love life but you cooked here", you spoke making her laugh out loud just as charles got to your side, "i thought you might like this, it is like those cans you were drinking earlier"

"thank you charles", you spoke taking it from him taking a sip, "shit this is good", you smiled. taylor then took travis' hand and pulled him onto the dance floor and charles gave you a questioning look making you giggle, "is this you asking me to dance". he didn't answer instead he took your free hand and pulled you onto the dancefloor finding a space in between all the moving bodies. you both still had drinks inyour hands but you made it work, your body effortlessly moving against his in time with the music playing on the speakers. charles finished his beer and set the cup down and you did the same with yours. this allowed you both to get as close to each other as you wanted.

charles rested his hands on your hips his eyes looking down at you, "pretty girl", he whispered softly and your eyes looked up at him, "can i kiss you?", he questioned and you wordlessly nodded. his lips moved down to meet yours in a sensual kiss and the rest of the room melted away around you. his hand travelled down to the small of your back pulling you against him.

"fuck", you whispered once you pulled away making him chuckle.

"y/n i think we should get out of here"

"you are not getting lucky on the first night" you warned playfully

"i know but i want to actually get to know you, i want to actually spend time with you and i don't think we can do that in this club, let me take you back to my hotel room, no funny business"

charles kept to his promise. you guys went straight back to his hotel and you just spoke for hours before falling asleep cuddled up to one another. and that is what started a relationship with the love of your life.

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y/ninsta

liked by taylorswift, charlesleclerc, iamrebeccad and 1,248,734

tagged: charlesleclerc

y/ninsta: tbt to the very first night

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user3: i still can't believe taylor swift is the one that introduced charles and y/n

charlesleclerc: the best night of my life

y/ninsta: i love you so much

taylorswift: i knew you guys would get on, i didn't know you would get on this week

y/ninsta: well it has been six months and he isn't sick of me yet so you did pretty well

iamrebeccad: i am so grateful for miss swift because she is the reason i met you

y/ninsta: aw i love you becca

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stxrrynightskies · 7 months

Text

𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

✩°｡⋆ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: r. akutagawa x reader

⋆｡° ✮ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: just some boyfriend headcanons with my favourite boy

⋆ ˚｡⋆ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: first post, i hope you enjoy it!

✩ he’s the type to act like he doesn't know you in public (but he does it to protect you)

✩ pretends he doesn't care about you but would quite literally tear yokohama apart if something were to happen to you

✩ obviously, he needs a lot of praise and reassurance

✩ "who did this to you?" type of guy

✩ he gets a little insecure about your relationship. he knows you love him, but sometimes he wonders why

✩ always acts like he doesn't want to do all those cute little dates with you when in reality, he loves them

✩ he gets jealous sooooo easily

✩ the softest boy imaginable when the two of you are alone

✩ his smile is only reserved for you

✩ as much as he tries ignoring you in public, if he sees you, he immediately hovers over to you

✩ he'll always sit silently and listen to you rant about your day or your interests

✩ after a long night of work, he'd make his way to your house and slip into your bed with you and just hold you close

✩ loves being the little spoon

✩ sometimes, when you try walking away from him, he'll use rashomon to wrap around your waist and pull you back

✩ never lets his anger issues get the better of him around you

✩ the best part of his day is to fall into your arms and cuddle until you both fall asleep

✩ and if you're not a touchy-feely person, he'd be more than happy to just enjoy your presence

✩ rarely has emotional moments but when he does, he gets so overwhelmed and just wants to curl up in bed with you

✩ because he works odd hours in the mafia, sometimes you'll wake up to him making breakfast for the two of you, and sometimes he won't wake up until three in the afternoon

✩ at the beginning of your relationship, he absolutely hated physical contact because it reminded him of his days with dazai

✩ constantly afraid of messing up in front of you

✩ but your gentle manner let you bypass his walls

✩ would rather die that admit he's wrong during an argument (until realizes he's gone to far)

✩ you're always the first person he goes to when he gets any form of good news

✩ so good at painting nails (and doing hair)

✩ sometimes, he'd make you listen to a song and tell you "this reminds me of you." whether it's romantic of silly (same with memes)

✩ he loves matching outfits when you guys go out

✩ you better believe he's got incredible fashion sense

✩ absolutely melts when you play with his hair

✩ he has one specific (and unique) pet name for you and would literally kill anyone who refers to you by it

✩ secret hand-holding under the table when you're out with friends

✩ you guys have a son (it's a stray cat that akutagawa begged to keep one night on the way home)

𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃!

#✮⋆˙ jade writes #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs headcanons #bsd #bsd x reader #bsd headcanons #bsd x you #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x you #akutagawa ryuunosuke #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa x you #akutagawa headcanons

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ellsarchive · 2 months

Text

Starcrossed - Prologue ★·.·`¯´·.

Series Masterlist *.•

Words: 786

Warnings: none

Note: epilogue done! I honestly like this part better than part one but this was more character/ past building :). Next part is written but won’t be posted for a little! This is my first series and first writing in a long time, please have mercy on me 😭

The stars seem bright tonight, brighter than any night you spent with him. You find it odd that nobody cares to notice the stars, how you never really did until now.

You spent countless nights under these very stars with Kenji, but you never noticed their brightness. He was always beaming, a million times more intense than any of the little white specks above you. They meant nothing compared to him. They still do.

Now, you sit under the stars alone. The crickets and the soft buzzing of the air are all that comfort you now, empty and cold as you long for the warmth that is his eyes.

You’ll never get to have him again, he’s gone to the other side of the world and won’t be coming back. His responsibility is much too heavy for that. It was a family heirloom of sorts, and he was doomed to it no matter how far away he went. Now he’s not yours any more, belonging to the lands of Japan, the many opportunities and people that thrive there. You want to be happy for him, and you are, in a way. Being joyous about the one thing that took your best friend so far from you isn’t ever going to be easy.

Even in the night sky, you manage to make out his face in the constellations. It’s not hard, considering how many times you’ve stared at every ridge and dimple that resides on the canvas that is his skin.

As you lay on the ground and feel sorry for yourself, you hear the faint hum of music from your neighbour’s house. Closing your eyes and listening, you’re met with one of your fondest memories.

Late nights like these had become a routine for the two of you lately. Ken would bring out the speaker from his garage (the one that his father probably had at your age), then you’d get drunk on each other and laugh until the sun came up.

You sat shoulder to shoulder with Kenji, talking about some nonsense that happened during class, what your father had said to you earlier, many things that had no real meaning. They didn’t matter, but he listened because he liked the sound of your voice. He liked the way you trailed off when you lost your train of thought, and the way he could feel you shift when you got overly expressive about the story. He listened because he cared that you wanted to tell him, and that was enough.

The night was full of loud moments, as well as quiet ones. Some moments would be nothing but the quiet music and your soft voice as you hummed along. He always played the songs you knew, knowing how much you loved it when you could be one with the music.

Suddenly, you stood up. You wore an animated smile as you recognized the song that had begun to play, this one was your favourite.

“I love this song!”

Kenji smiled at this, a laugh tracing the edges of his words and barely escaping.

“I know.”

You had pointed out that this song was your favourite of the queue, but that was some weeks ago at a time you weren’t even sure if Kenji was listening. You guess he was.

You sarcastically roll your eyes, holding out a hand. “Well, Mr. Know It All, I think you should come dance with me.”

Kenji raised his eyebrows, his grin spreading. When he didn’t make a move to get up, you began to tug at his hands until he complied. With a joyous huff and signature grin, Kenji went along with it. He rolled his eyes, but you knew that it came from a place of love. You’d grown used to it after ten years.

As he softly grabbed your hands and began swaying with you, the rhythm of the song seemed to seep into your bones. Your smiles got wider and your bodies closer as each step brought you higher into the sky.

He spun you until you felt like you would vomit. You held each other until the morning, the lines between reality and dreams seeming to blur the closer he got to you. The only thing that reminded you of his realness was the sound of his heartbeat and slow breaths as you rested on his chest.

You fell asleep under the stars that night, smiles never fading and hand still intertwined.

Now, asleep under the stars, no amount of memories you bring back will send him back to America, nor will take away his fame and make him have all the time in the world for you. Things can’t be how they once were.

#|| starcrossed *.•#kenji sato #ken sato #kenji sato x reader #ultraman rising #ken sato x reader #ultraman #ultraman rising x reader #kenji sato x #ellsarchive #epilogue #series #fiction #fanfiction #ultraman rising netflix #ken sato netflix #netfllix #Ken Sato X fem reader #fem reader

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kilistina · 1 year

Note

hiii just wanted to say i love ur posts so much. ur so good at writing pls never stop😫 i just finished reading punk 57 and the whole “tell me something true” line has me in a CHOKEHOLD. pls pls pls write about assholery being cold and distant with y/n out of nowhere even though they’re friends. can the reader be fem and have bunny as a nickname too? it’s been on my miiind and i just know you’ll write it to perfection <33

i fucking ADORE this suggestion sm. whoever you are, message me pls bc i wanna rack your brain for more lmao

lmk if you wanna be tagged in part 2 when—if—it comes out <3 i hope y’all enjoy this part though bc it’s truly one of my favourites so far.

i recommend listening to these two songs while reading: wet dream - wetleg, desire - meg myers

•••

dirty dancing. pt1

word count: 4.4k-ish

disc. nsfw content ahead. mdni. brief coke mention—in passing, includes fem! reader n harry styles, bold ass language, kinda slow burn but not really, some sexy dancing ig n aaaangst. enjoy my whores <3

•••

Things have been weird with Harry for a while now. You’re not exactly sure how or why the rift even started, but it did. And it’s only been getting worse.

You’ve been friends for what—two years now? Never too close, but close enough to be able to communicate about any issues you’ve had with each other. You and Harry don’t really argue, he’s not the confrontational type. Not with you, anyway. And not when he’s sober.

You aren’t the biggest fan of confrontation either. When things get too heated or overwhelming, you cry. It embarrasses you—being unable to handle your emotions. You know that you’re only human, and you’d never judge someone else for crying in the middle of an argument, but because it’s you, because you know yourself so well, you judge yourself over it. Weird pattern, but hey, it’s real.

Right now, you’re out at a bar with your friends—the same group you’ve been hanging around since high school. Mitch and Sarah have been highschool sweethearts for as long as you can remember, they’re like the parents of the group. The cool parents. The parents everyone secretly wishes they could have. Niall and Lewis are attached at the hip, too—platonically. Been best friends since the day they met.

You’re the closest with Niall since you’ve been living with him through college, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You have other girlfriends but they’re not as close to you as Niall and Sarah are. Sarah’s like a diamond you’ve always loved. They all are. They’ve always been by your side when you needed them—Harry included. You got lucky, sure. Not everybody has the luxury of picking the good ones before college and life gets in the way.

The bar is slowly coming to life. People who came for a meal are leaving, and people in the mood for a night of drinking and dancing are all piling in. You’re excited. It’s been way too long since you’ve let loose. You’ve been too stumped with work and college lately, you’ve barely had any time to breathe without someone breathing right there with you. And of course, you enjoy the company of others. But when you have to be sober for it all? Eh.

Harry’s similar to you in that sense. He loves socialising. Absolutely adores it. He’s an extrovert. But after weeks of constant company, he gets burnt out. The only thing that helps toughen the blow is alcohol. Or coke, but he’s stopped that for a while now.

You prop your elbows up on the edge of the bar and lean against it, looking around for the bartender. He has his back to you, mixing someone else’s drink. You clear your throat and he turns his head to the side, catching sight of you and nodding his head to let you know he’ll be a moment. You nod back and wait, turning to face your friends.

“Anyone wanna shot with me?” You arch a brow at your five friends, and they all smirk and nod their heads. Harry included. “We all good for a vodka?”

Everyone nods a second time in response, and you turn back to face the bartender.

“What can I do for you, gorgeous?” He shoots you a warm smile.

“Five shots of vodka, please.” You smile back at him and he nods.

“Straight?”

“No, gay,” You murmur a witty reply and he laughs, beginning to fill five shot glasses for you. You swear you can hear Harry coughing back a laugh from behind you too, but you don’t pay him any attention.

You double tap your phone’s off switch, activating the apple pay, and you hold it up to pay for your drinks.

“No need, beautiful,” The bartender holds his hand up, “This round’s on me.”

You shrug, exhaling dramatically, “I won’t try and convince you to let me pay.”

“I wouldn’t let you try.” The attractive bartender plays along, smirking at you.

You mouth a quick thank you to him and he gives you one final wink before turning his attention to the small group of girls next to you, catering to them now. You grab the shot glasses off the counter and hand them out to everyone, and you all hold them up and clink them together before downing them in seconds.

“Fuck,” Sarah sticks her tongue out as if that’s going to help the taste in her mouth, “Never gets easier does it?”

“Doesn’t need to,” Niall grins proudly, setting his shot glass down on the counter, “You’re just weak.”

“Yeah we fuckin’ get it, you’re an Irish heavyweight. We should all bow down at your feet, you’re a king and we’re peasants who can’t handle a measly shot.” Lewis rolls his eyes and pretends to worship him.

Niall frowns in confusion, “Who you calling a heavyweight?”

Harry snorts at the two men bickering. They’re like two peas in a pod, and typically, people who are so close tend to argue every now and then.

The group has that dynamic. Sarah and Mitch, Niall and Lewis, you and Harry? You’re not sure if you and Harry count. You’re not as close as the others. You wouldn’t call him a best friend. A friend, yes. A good friend? That’s pushing it, but still, yes. A best friend? No.

It’s not that you wouldn’t like to be closer. You’ve just never really been given the chance. Harry’s always kept a safe distance from you. You’ve hardly ever spent time alone, always speaking and engaging with each other the most when others are around to witness it. Sure, a part of you wishes that Harry would pay you more attention, but the other part of you doesn’t think he deserves it. If he wanted to, he would, right?

“And aren’t you Irish too?” Niall questions Lewis, continuing on with their unserious bickering.

“Yeah like a third,” Lewis shrugs, “From my dad’s side, but you already knew th—stop deflecting. Y/N, tell him to stop deflecting from how much of a cock he is.” He points towards you and tries to get you involved.

You giggle and shrug your shoulders, “You are a bit of a cock sometimes, Ni.”

“Both of you can suck me, honestly. I’m fuckin’ great.” Niall flicks his hair dramatically and you and Lewis snicker.

“I’m with Niall,” Harry lightly nudges Niall’s chest with his elbow, joining in on the joke, “Both of you can suck him.”

“You fucking weirdos,” Mitch shakes his head at the lot of you, not surprised in the slightest by your antics, “Miss Jones and I are gonna go dance, you lot can either keep bickering or come join us. Choice is yours.”

With that, they both head for the dance floor together, holding their hands in the air and laughing.

“I’m joining those twats,” Lewis gestures to them, looking at the rest of you, “You three game?”

Niall nods, “Course. Harry, Y/N?”

“I’ll be there in a bit,” You nod towards the bar, “I feel like some more drinks.”

Everyone’s attention shifts to Harry. He clears his throat as he thinks for a moment, “Yeah, me too. Be there in a bit.”

Lewis and Niall both nod at Harry and beeline for the dance floor, already beginning to bicker again on the way. You giggle at the sight of them and shake your head, turning to face the bar again. Harry joins you, standing by your side. Neither of you look at each other, you keep your eyes in front of you at the neat array of liquor set along the counter.

“Nice night, don’t you think?” You break the awkward silence threatening to form between the two of you.

You catch sight of Harry nodding his head, “Always a nice night with this lot.”

Dry as fuck. You might not be close with Harry, but you aren’t stupid. You know the way he speaks to people, you’ve seen it. Harry could have an hour long conversation with a tree. But with you, it seems like a fucking chore.

You want to scoff. You want to scoff at how fucking childish Harry’s acting with you. Why can’t he look at you or have a normal conversation with you?

You sigh, not wanting to overreact over such a minor reply and ruin the night for yourself. Although Harry seems to be doing a decent job of that himself.

“Can’t argue with that.” You murmur.

“Mhm.” Harry murmurs and you wait a beat for him to say something else, anything else.

He doesn’t.

That’s it.

“I feel like I don’t know you.” Your words spill out before you can stop them.

Harry’s taken by surprise. He turns to face you. Now he’s looking, at least. “Sorry?”

“I feel like I don’t know you.” You sigh, repeating yourself.

“What is there to know?” He furrows his eyebrows at you, gesturing to the bartender that he wants a glass of something.

“You tell me, Harry Styles.”

He sighs, running a hand through his curly hair, “Y/N, what are you trying to get at here?”

You shrug, “I dunno, I feel like I click with everyone else. I’ve got a connection with everyone, H. Everyone but you.” Your words come out harsher than you intended. You’d feel a little guilty if they weren’t true. But they are.

“That was unnecessary.” Harry murmurs so quietly that you almost don’t hear him.

“You asked me a question and I answered it.” You stand your ground, sick of Harry’s half-assed efforts to conversing with you. You’re a catch, your friendship is amazing, and you’re great to talk to. What the hell is Harry’s problem?

He laughs, scoffing at you in disbelief, “Fuck, you’re such a bitch sometimes.”

You almost choke on your own saliva, “Excuse me?”

“You fuckin’ heard me, Y/N. I called you a bitch. Because that’s what you are half the time when shit doesn’t go your way.” Harry doesn’t know where this is all coming from, but it’s coming.

He doesn’t mean it, obviously. He’d never mean that. He doesn’t think you’re a bitch. Again, never. But he’s angry. He’s angry and you’re angry and you’re both speaking without thinking it through properly and you’re both making an absolute mess of the situation and each other—

“What the fuck?” You stare at Harry in shock, your eyes wide with disgust.

He’s confused by your offended reaction, “What, are you surprised or something? Come on, Bunny. You know better than that.”

“You don’t have to be such an ass,” You scold him, “We used to get along. We used to be closer. We’ve never been as close as the others but at least we used to speak. At least I was able to walk into a room knowing you were there and look forward to it.”

His face relaxes at your words. He knows you mean well. You’ve both been hotheaded for a moment but now you seem to be calming down. You’re bringing your point across well and he can’t fault you for it.

“But what now? What fuckin’ now, H? You never speak to me when we’re alone, and then when you finally do, it’s this. It’s an attack on my character. Does this shit get you off or something?”

Never mind.

Harry scoffs at your sudden change in tone, feeling agitated again, “Fuck you.”

You slam your hand on the counter, “Fuck you, Harry!”

He glares at you as you continue scolding him, “What the hell are we even doing here? Go spend time with your actual friends.”

“Hey, wait a second. What?” He leans his head to the side in confusion, not knowing what you mean, “We’ve known each other for years, Bunny.”

“I don’t know a single thing about you.” You point out, making him roll his eyes. “Don’t roll your—“

“Where’s my favourite place to eat?” Harry cuts you off with a question. A question that you know the answer to.

 “That’s not—”

“Where do I go when I’m upset?” Again, another question you can answer.

“Harry—”

“How did I get the scar on my chin?” That’s a special question. You gave it to him the day you met.

You sigh, knowing where he’s going with this. He’s not understanding what you’re trying to tell him and it infuriates you.

You tap the tips of your fingers on the countertop, feeling anxious, “That’s not what I—”

“You do know me, Y/N. we don’t need to speak every two seconds or braid each other’s hair to know each other well.”

Your eyes begin to prick with tears. That isn’t what you meant and he knows that.

“That’s not what I meant.” You lower your voice as it threatens to crack.

“Then what did you mean, Bunny?” He crosses his arms and stares at you, waiting on an explanation.

You groan, throwing your head in your hands.

The truth is, you can explain. You can explain everything you’re feeling well. But is that going to get you anywhere right now? Maybe. Maybe not. You have a better idea.

“Do you consider me a friend?”

Harry’s face drops. You can tell that he’s upset and borderline offended that you’re even asking that question.

Of course you’re friends. You’ve been friends for years. He adores you. Why can’t you see that he adores you?

“Bunny..” He takes a step towards you, and you take one back.

“Do you?” You insist on getting a solid answer.

“Of course I consider you a fr—”

“Don’t lie.” You cross your arms over your chest.

“I’m not—”

“Tell me something real, Harry. Please. God, please just tell me something that isn’t base level for once,” You beg, “Tell me something true.”

He raises his eyebrows slightly. He’s taken back. He wasn’t expecting that from you at all.

He stays silent.

“You can’t, can you?” You scoff at him, not knowing why you expected anything to come from this conversation. You should’ve known better than to be hopeful about how things were going to go with Harry..because it’s Harry, “I don’t know why I thought you’d—“

“I still smoke cigarettes.” Harry cuts you off, blurting out an admission. He tenses his jaw in realisation—he’s just as shocked as you are.

Oh.

Your eyes widen at his confesion. Harry’s been gloating to everyone about how he so easily quit smoking three months ago. You’re all so proud of him, considering how difficult it is to quit something cold turkey the way he did. The rest of you haven’t been able to shake the bad habit. Apparently, neither has he.

“You do?” You question.

He nods, “Less. But I do.”

“Why?”

He almost smiles at your question, “Why do I smoke?”

“Why did you lie about it?”

He sighs, looking down as he answers you, “Everyone’s got something, right? Sarah and Mitch have their relationship, Niall has his singing, Lewis has his stand-up every Friday, you have your double degree. I just wanted something that everyone could be proud of. Felt like something small like that would’ve been manageable to keep hidden from everyone.”

You frown, “Harry..”

“No,” He shakes his head, refusing to let you feel sorry for him, “No. Seriously, no. We’re not about to do pity. That’s not what we do with each other.”

“Okay,” You clear your throat and agree to let it go, grabbing a now filled shot glass and handing it over to him, “Drink?”

He smirks at you, silently thanking you as he reaches forward and takes the shot glass from you.

“Sorry for calling you a bitch.” He murmurs, offering you a small, sincere smile.

You give him one back, “Sorry for being one.”

His small smile turns into a grin.

“To the truth.” You hold your glass up to cheers his with.

“To the fuckin’ truth.”

You both down your shots and tap them down on the counter to gesture for the bartender to refill them. He complies and neither of you waste a second to down the next ones. Over and over, shot after shot, you continue to drink until you’re buzzed.

You’re both good at handling your liquor, and you know how much you can take. By the time you’re done with your shots, you’re over the moon. Buzzed and aware. Aware of what you feel, aware of where you are, aware of who you’re with. Aware.

Harry leans down, his face dangerously close to yours. He’s never been this close, you don’t think. You’ve never seen his face so clearly, you’ve never seen his chest tattoos so well, his necklace dangling, his—

“Should we go dance with the others now, you think?” He speaks into your ear and you feel your stomach beginning to erupt with nerves.

“Yeah,” You inhale sharply, nodding, “Sure.”

Harry grabs your hand and leads you through the crowd, keeping a hold of you even when you reach where your friends are. The contact is strange but you welcome it, liking the new barrier that’s being broken between the two of you.

Over the years, you’ve noticed how touchy he can get when he’s under the influence, so you have an idea of what you’re getting into. You like being on the receiving end for once. You could get used to this side of Harry. You like being his friend. His real friend.

Once you get to where the others are, you quickly gauge what they’re all doing. Mitch and Sarah are in their own little world as usual, dancing together as if it’s their wedding night. Niall’s dancing with a random girl he’s probably going home with later tonight and Lewis is making a fool of himself in the middle of them. Ah, friendship. You love to see it.

“Nice song, yeah?” Harry leans over to your ear, speaking over the music. The song playing is one of your all time favourites—Wet Dream by WetLeg.

Anyone who knows you, knows the way you feel about this song. It’s become tradition to play it everytime you carpool. A fine tradition, you think.

“Oh, the best.” You start bopping your head to the beat of the song, singing along with the lyrics you know and love.

“I was in your wet dream driving in my caaar, saw you at the side of the road, there’s no one else around you’re touching yourself, touching yourself—“ You start yelling out the words along with everyone else on the dance floor, shaking your head side to side and dramatising every word. Harry watches you and smirks, letting you have your moment.

“You said—“

You’re about to keep singing the next part when he beats you to it, “Baby do you want to come home with me? I got Buffalo ‘66 on dvd!”

You let out a surprised laugh at the fact that Harry even knows the words to the song, loving that you’re seeing this side to him. You’d never expect to have something as simple as loving a song like this in common, but here you are.

Beam me up—beam me up!

Count me in—count me in!

Three, two, one—three, two, one!

Let's begin!

The song continues and you realise that you’ve both been staring at each other for a good ten seconds in silence, just taking in the sight of each other. Harry really is beautiful. The way his hair hangs perfectly below his shoulders. The way his dimples show at the smallest hint of a smile. The way his eyes burn into yours. You never want to see anything else. Just him. Just Harry.

“I was in your wet dream, driving in my caaaar!” Harry’s voice breaks you out of your daydream, and you laugh as he grabs your hands, dancing with you to the beat of the song.

“What makes you think you're good enough to think about me when you're touching yourself?” You continue the song and he pretends to be shocked, acting out the song with you.

“You climb onto the bonnet and you’re licking the windscreen! I’ve never seen anything so obscene!” You both sing the next part together, leaning in close to each other’s faces and practically screaming with the biggest smiles on your faces, “It’s enough! To make a girl blush! It’s enough! It’s enough to make a girl blush!”

The rest of the song plays and you both continue to scream out every word, making the most of the moment you’re having and hoping it never ends. Neither of you are sure what’s going on but neither of you are complaining. You’re both witnessing a new side to each other and you’re enjoying it. Perhaps you were made to be best friends like the others. Maybe it was meant to happen like this.

The song eventually comes to an end and you both let out a deep sigh, catching your breath for a moment as another random song plays.

Harry looks down at you with parted lips, “Nice singing, Bunny.”

“Could say the same to you, H.” You smile and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. The move is natural and you don’t put too much thought into it. Neither does Harry.

His hands find their way to your waist and you both sway in time with the music, singing the lyrics into each other’s faces and having the time of your lives.

“I haven’t had sex in 5 months!” His voice is just loud enough for you to hear over the music.

Your eyebrows furrow, “What?”

He leans closer to your face, “I said—I said I haven’t had—”

“No I—I heard you H,” You chuckle, “I’m just a little—”

“Surprised? Yeah me too.” He grins at you, suddenly seeming to be completely comfortable with you in a way you never expected, “I stole that chocolate bar from you last week by the way, it wasn’t Niall.”

You laugh for a moment at his strange confessions until you process what he just told you, “Wait that was you?”

 “Loud ‘n proud, bunny.” He grins proudly.

“You—you fucker!” You gasp, playfully hitting his chest with one of your hands, keeping the other where it was around his neck.

 He chuckles, playing along, “Did you forget what I just—”

“Shut up!”

You both laugh, continuing to move your bodies together.

“What about you? Tell me something true.”

You purse your lips together, trying to come up with something to tell Harry. There’s a million things you could tell him, but you want to catch him off guard. You want to see an honest, raw reaction from him.

“I think you’re really pretty.” You finally say, shrugging your shoulders.

Harry raises his eyebrows at you, unsure if you’re being serious. “Pretty?”

You nod.

He tilts his head for a moment, “Weird choice of words.”

“I don’t think so,” You smile at him, “You’re a pretty boy.”

He smiles back, “You’re a pretty bunny.”

“We’re pretty.”

“We are.”

You both smile at each other and share a brief moment. A moment of what—you’re not sure. Two friends being supportive of each other? Two friends suddenly becoming closer and making the most of it? Two friends two friends two friends—

The next song begins playing and your heart begins to pace more. Desire, Meg Myers.

The two of you exchange a look, knowing that you won’t move together to this song the same way you have been for the others.

You know that you won’t be singing along with this one. You’d rather feel it. Feel Harry.

You move your hands away from around Harry’s neck, and he keeps his on your waist, holding you close. You move your hands down and place them over his, feeling electric all of a sudden.

Baby, I wanna fuck you

I wanna feel you in my bones

The song is loud and the coloured lights are flashing red. The atmosphere has changed—not only in the bar and on the dance floor, but between you and Harry. The way he’s looking at you is different. The way you’re looking at him is different. The way he’s touching you is different. The way you’re touching him is different.

I’m gonna tear into your soul

You begin to sway your hips to the beat of the song, holding your eyes over Harry’s. Neither of you dare to look away. You wouldn’t dream of it.

How do you want me?

You begin to turn your body in time with the music, turning your back to Harry. He leans his head down, resting his head on your shoulder and keeping his hands by your waist as you continue to move against each other. You feel a surge of confidence—you’re not sure if it’s the song, if it’s the alcohol, if it’s Harry’s random confessions, if it’s the feelings you’ve been suppressing from him for years—but it’s here. It’s here and you’re about to make the most of it.

Yeah I gotta hurt you, I gotta hear it from your mouth

Boy, I wanna taste you, I wanna skin you with my tongue

I’m gonna kill you

You lean your ass back, moving it against Harry’s crotch. He sucks in a breath, and the only way you know it is because you feel his teeth graze the skin of your bare shoulder. Your eyes close at the feeling and you grow bolder, moving the same way a second time.

He tightens his grip on your waist. You can feel the bulge of his cock against your ass and you can only imagine how much it’s straining against the band of his jenas. You almost pity him. Almost.

I wanna feel you

I want it all

I wanna feel you

I want it all

You continue moving against Harry, enjoying his little reactions to your touch. To the way you feel. He begins trailing kisses down your neck, applying pressure and sucking on your skin. You still. You can’t focus on anything but the way his lips feel against you.

What’s going on between you both? What the fuck is happening? Why the fuck has it taken so long? Why couldn’t it happen sooner?

So many questions.

“Bunny,” Harry groans against your shoulder, placing one last kiss to your neck before moving his mouth to your ear, “Tell me something true.”

You know exactly what you want to say. Again, there’s so much you want to tell him. You want to tell him how good he feels against you, how much you love the way he moves his body against yours. You want to tell him that you feel the connection now. You want to tell him that you know he can feel it too. There’s so much to say, but you settle for the most simple thing. The most important one.

“I want you.”

•••

aaahhhh!!! i’m sososo proud of this one. idk why but this shot has a special place in my heart. the smut will be included in the second part. and believe me, it’s gonna be SMUT. i’m such a whore for angst n this friendship trope is just chef’s kiss.

anyway enough chat. i hope y'all enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it <3 if you liked what you read then please reblog n comment. feel free to suggest ideas for new posts too.

have a good day or night wherever you are n stay safe, always <3

- k

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tobbotobbs · 1 year

Note

Hiii!! I saw your post with the cod boys + Alejandro for a reader who likes Ayesha erotica and etc but I was wondering how would they react to music like: Narcissistic personality disorder, Stare don’t touch and like artists like: Odetari, Cade Clair, 9lives, Lumi Athena and Iluvvern?

Hey! Thank you for the request! I rarely listen to them myself, tried my best but this was still fun to write!

Now this man isn't really the person that listens to music a lot. Sure, he knows the regular typical chart songs because a specific scotsman always listens to radio when they drive somewhere, but really he doesn't know shit about music and he doesn't really care about it either. That is, until he found out what kind of music you enjoy and listen to!

He was a little confused as why you were so fond of this...chaos of high pitched noises and yelling. Questioning you why a sane normal person would in general enjoy getting their ears torn apart when they wanted to listen to something that's called and considered an art form? You decided to give the poor man a little break in into the world of edm and phonk genre. You explained the emotions that went with these type of songs and how it just makes your spine tingle when you listen to something like NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER or other songs of these kind. He tried to listen to a few himself, but it's really not his. He doesn't mind you listening to it though.

He does however looks after you. He knows how you can sometimes forget to take breaks when listening to music with your headphones and afterwards get headaches from it. He will remind you to keep the volume on a lower healthier level rather than fully turned up. Whatever makes you happy, makes him feel content as well. As long as his love is happy and doesn't get hurt that is.

Johnny is a little menace. He likes music. Mostly Scottish stuff or dirty songs like Ayesha Erotica but when he heard you listen to Red Eyes Black Dragon on full volume in your room he got curious. He's never heard of this kind of music, hyperpop and dance/electronic wasn't really his until now. He started easily with something that was pretty popular on TikTok to see if he should try out listening to more.

He did find two favourite songs after a while. Sure, they are pretty popular at the moment but he didn't chose them because of that. He just...really feels them when they come on his playlist. Kerosene Sped up and Murder In My Mind are his go to's when asked what his favourite songs are at the moment. He also really lives to explain why he suddenly started liking this kind of music. His answer always the same: ,,Y/n listens to it. It's their favourite music genre and I feel so close to them when listening to this music!". Ghost thinks Soap is head over heels for you and should finally tell you everytime he sees you guys smiling at each other longingly while one of you puts this music on. It's like a secret conversation between you two.

When you finally got together (after he proposed you listen to music together in his room to calm down after a long mission and he put on the song if it ain't me by whatsaheart and afterwards kissed you) weekly music sessions are a must. You invite Gaz sometimes because he really wants to explore more music genres meanwhile on other days you have discussions about your all time favorite songs in the car and Johnny always hypes you up when Kyle tries to make his music genre the dominating part of the discussion. If you are close to losing the discussion Soap will just straight up pull his phone out, start his playlist and play your guys genre as loud in the car as comfortable for your ears.

Visiting raves together is also very important. Soaps first rave was with you and Gaz. He got so overwhelmed by all the nlise and lights that you had to leave earlier to cuddle with him and listen to his calming scottish songs in a very very low volume, barely hearable in your guys room. It was still fun for him and after that he got used to the clubs noise and lights!

Poor Gaz really loves music. He does. But he is unsure of exploring new music genres. Way more comfortable with staying with what he knows and learned to like. Though when invited over to you and Soaps weekly music session he couldn't decline. A good time listening to music with his best friends? Hell yeah! That was, until he heard what kind of music it was you guys listened to. First being really opposed to it, he left very early saying he still had papers to sign. He actually just needed time in a quiet room because his ears had started to hurt sadly.

Next time he listened to this music was when he and you shared a room on a mission. You put it on to fall asleep, god knows how you could sleep to it but you seemed to do just fine. Kyle layed awake on his makeshift bed and tried to listen to the text and after a while he also fell asleep. It was a miracle how but he did. He asked what song played when you guys fell asleep the next day, trying to recreate the melody so you knew which one he was looking for and soon he got the name from you. Metamorphosis. It's become his favourite song, one of the more softer sounding ones he really enjoyed.

Cuddle sessions when you guys are together os a must. In the background there is always your playlist playing on a low volume to not hurt Gaz and his poor sensitive ears. Though once in a while he can be seen in a rave with you, where he wears sweet green earplugs you got him for his birthday, to reduce the noise a little and still be able to enjoy the event.

Man has no idea what in the seven hells you got there going. Was it an exorcism? He wasn't sure. He also couldn't understand a single thing. But you seemed to be doing just fine. Singing your lungs out to Sex Obsession by cade clair and Lumi Athena. Watches you bouncing around the training field while shooting and stabbing dummys left and right without a single miss. Today was your turn to choose the music on the little makeshift training field John had at his own home, you guys had a week long off from work but still spend it training because you didn't know what else to do. When you started your playlist he knew the "enemies" were done for. It seemed with this kind of music you just felt more powerful and legendary or something of that kind. At least that's what you have told him.

He is impressed by how you can work so good with that shit on full speakers, but he doesn't allow you to listen to it while on a mission or on base on the training field because it could distract yourself and the other soldiers. Internally he also says that because he himself isn't really a fan of that music and finds it even a little annoying. But he doesn't tell you that. For that he adores your happy face while the music plays too much. Gaz and Soap asked him and Ghost once to join you guys on a rave night. Old man didn't even knew what it was and only said yes because you had the next day off. Simon just stayed back and laughed his ass off at John's obliviousness.

When you guys came back the poor old man had to take some ibuprofen to make his headache go down a little.

So you like raves and all this weird interesting sounding music? Nice! Alejandro does know a few things, of course he does. His and Rudys teenager lifestyle was going to parties and being active all day and night. But the music style did change a little over the years. Electronic/Dance is still a beautiful sounding chaos but a little more...Gen Z like, how Soap and Gaz would put it. Alejandro is listening to it with you, now and then. But he won't allow you to play it while training or on operations. Even if he loved you and you were his everything, he likes his workspace to be concentrated and ready for anything so no music or anything allowed.

Well you and Rudy did prank him once in a while with that sudden loud music in his office or while training the new Los Vaqueros members. It was fun to watch him get scared and then calm down just to be annoyed be the laughter of the new recruits or when he kicks his pencil holder off his table because there was a sudden loud melody right behind him on his desk and while turning around the poor cup holding his pencils got a visual flying lesson around the room.

Raves tho, are a yes. When you guys have free time and there is one nearby, he likes to take you on a date to visit them. On the occasion he loves to get a little risky on those raves, taking you somewhere more hidden and pounds you to the beat. He once invited Rudy, after talking to you, and when Alejandro started walking away with you hot on his trail Rudy started to follow as well in the dark neon lighted room full of people. In a dark corner they fucked you, a pleasant surprise for Rudy which ended with you and your boyfriend grinning successful and enjoying the outcome of the night.

So sorry this took me so long. My mental health is a little down right now and I got a few other things going on rn sooo yeah! Hope you enjoyed this one, till next time (:

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richaunt · 16 days

Text

The Keys to your dream life PT2

Heeeey, back to the second part of my Keys to your dream life post .

✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ ✶

3. Method or tools are no foes nor allies

Now you shouldn't rely on those, they don't bring you the blessing, YOU are the only one who bring you blessings, BUT they can help if you go around it the right way. First foremost, don't force yourself, never do, yes you need to persist in your belief, no you don't have to repeat 100k affirmations today if you don't want to. Just let go of the assumption that you need to do it or else you won't have anything because that's not true. What's true thought is that you already have the thing you want these tools are just fun ways to remember who you are and what you have, so be grateful that you have those fun method that grounds you down in the present were you have all the things you want already, it's here to make you aware that you truly are living in your dream life right now 😘 (no I'm not delusional, the only reality is you're imagination don't you know after binge reading every tumblr loa post???) Now I'm going to make a lil list with all the methods I live to do and help me remember who I am:

A. subliminal

I'm never gonna shut up about subliminals, what is there to hate about subliminals? Literally your favorite song layered with affirmations that reminds you, you're the bomb. There is also calm one with rain sounds, and ones with 432hz frequencies. My absolute favourite way to do loa since high-school, easy, fun and if you don't find interesting one on the Internet or if you're afraid that they contain bad affs? Well you can easily make your own! I made my own and I also listen to some from ytb, my two faves channel are entice and I want it I got it (you can slightly hear the affirmations on most of these two and they 100% are safe and they have good and unique subs💕).

B.Affirmations tapes:

Like subs it's affirmations, unlike subs thought they are audible and tbh I love them too, it's soo effective and hype you up, I love listening to them. It just help you being in that vibe, those high frequency, you just feel good you know? Love both the I am and you are one, some of my favourites are high frequency guru (I listen to her subs too mostly throughout the night) manifest it finess it, avi's affirmations, indigo detry and crescent affirmations.

C. Robotic affirmations

Now I love robotic affirmations but not in the forced repetition way, like yes you need to repeat them but don't force yourself to do it if you don't want. I personally do it when I feel like doing it , and I most often do it when I'm unfocusing when watching a videos or something, it just like start to perk up in my head lmao. I'm going to be honest I also have done it when I was panicking because something bad happened like "OMG I'm so fucked because I did that let's affirm like it's all resolved and all gone" sometimes it's works sometimes not because you shouldn't freak the f out in the same ways I do.

D.Visualising/ Imagining

As a maladaptive daydreamer since very young, that one is both good and bad for me lmao . I have a very rich imaginations so I always get caught up in daydream about different scenarios while pacing and listening to music in my room but all that I've daydreamed about is NOT visualisation and you get that daydreaming doesn't equal visualising but anyways you don't needto visualize in first person, but I found out for me in order to truly feel like it belongs to me I have to do it this way, find what kind of visualisation feels best to you and makes you feel like you have it all,I know it's hard been there done that, also the 5 sens thing help to truly feel that you are in the moment, all that you are living now is the truth, you can smell, see it, interact with it because all that you see in your head is true, what you are experiencing in imaginations is your reality. Do SATS if you want (it's just having one scenario to visualise over and over and feeling it as truth because it is in fact your true life)

E. Journaling

Well I have a weird relationship with that one but I also love it. I was also to lazy to do it most of the time but don't be like that please 💔 we stop procrastinating in 2024/2025 (I know it's not 2025 yet but it's near) unless you truly don't feel like it, it's up to you, You don't need to do it because? What? Yeah because you're living your dream life Babe. I love love writing like it's my diary or writing out random affirmations that I like to tell myself. Also just journaling and venting about something that has make you feel bad will help you let go of that, it's healthy and so listing things you grateful for like the fact that you have all these blessings and you can list them out 😉

4. You have it all .

That's it, you have you're blessing, you're lucky as hell, you're gorgeous and constantly spoiled. You're chosen, loved and respected. You are an amazing being, living an amazing life, open you inner eyes and realise the truth and then see it unfold before you 3d eyes. The 3d has conformed already actually, it's under your command, it cannot not show you what you want, because all that you want is already you. You are one with your desires, they are yours and will always be. How do you feel while knowing all of this? Well that feeling held onto it, it's your soul whispering to you that's it's your truth and destiny, it's impossible for you to not get what you want because you have it, it's you who make it possible and who created it so it's yours to experience. So? Go live your truth 💫

Bye bye, my lil bird 💞

#law of assumption #master manifestor #manifesting #manifesation #affirm and persist #affirmations #affirmdaily #subliminals #loa tumblr #loassumption #loa blog #loa #dream life #desired reality

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killersfool · 10 months

Text

You Might Get What You Want | ROBERT KEATING

PAIRING: robert keating x original f!character

GENRE: childhood frenemies to lovers

SUMMARY: lucia (luz), nieve ella’s keyboardist, has an estranged history with inhaler—especially with the band’s bassist, bobby. their fiery hatred for eachother rapidly blossoms into something sweet, especially when she learns that he wrote a song about her.

WORDS: 5.8k

WARNINGS: kissing, swearing, alcohol use, mild sexual content

Being Nieve Ella's keyboardist has completely altered the course of my life. Only eight months ago, I was doing my second year of uni, trying to get through a Music course and completely regretting all of my life choices. My favourite part of the day would be getting home and sitting at my piano, writing songs and posting them on Tiktok. Views racked up, followers kept coming in and I think I realised how well everything was going when Laufey commented on my cover of 'Like The Movies'. Then about two weeks later, an email shot through my phone—literally like a bullet to skin. I dropped the rectangular device to the ground mid-lecture, hand on my mouth, teeth in my lip.

Nieve Ella had asked me to join her on tour. With Inhaler.

At first I was laughing, then I was bawling with endless tears of happiness and now I'm on my final show still feeling woozy and adrenaline is banging through my brain. The whole band have become my best friends. And, quite shockingly, me and Inhaler have a weird shared history. I've known them since I was really young. I used to watch their first gigs at tiny venues where they'd run around in the crowd and hardly anyone knew the lyrics. I went to the same school as Bobby, Eli and Ryan who were a bunch of madmen. They'd let me hang out with them backstage or at practice and jam before they finally found a 'proper' keyboardist (Louis). To be honest, I'd always been slightly salty that I never got into the band. But I guess we were never close enough and I could be quite horrible to Bobby — but honestly, he deserved it. He was a whiny, teenage nightmare. Still is. Except he's not a teenager anymore.

Thankfully, Nieve Ella and the band take a train separate to Inhaler. I don't have to hear Bobby's jests 24/7. Today we're heading to Dublin. The final stop of the Cuts and Bruises tour. It's been a long ride but it's all been worth it. I've had the best time ever. I'm listening to the Strokes, a song Bobby recommended to me a few weeks ago. It's been on my mind ever since and I can't stop hearing the same chords and riffs over and over. Even when my headphones leave my ears. The song is 12:51 and funnily enough Bobby has a tattoo right on his bicep with those exact numbers. The lads gave us a rather enjoyable tattoo tour with reasons for each of their inked designs.

I lay back my head against the cushioned seat. I like this, I prefer it to what I was doing before. The constant stress, the exams, the structure. I like the freedom of doing shows and seeing new people and travelling to new places. Never sure what you're in for. Crowd after crowd with all different energies and enthusiasm. The adrenaline rush is the best part of the day but when you wake up the following morning, it's like the life has been sucked out of you. You feel like nothing. Human. A person with legs and arms. Flailing around with no thoughts in your head. A billion times worse than a hangover. Post concert depression. The lull after such a powerful high. It's nice to go through that hell with a group of friends who all feel the same way. Becomes a strange group therapy.

For the past hour, I've been begging Josh to tell me what is on the set list. I'm praying they'll add some different songs. Older ones. Seeing as it's the last show of the tour. Something to surprise the fans. Maybe 'Falling In' or 'There's No Other Place' or even my favourite 'You Might Get What You Want'. That was one that was written when Rob was the lead singer of the band. When I'd bang the keys in that garage. When we'd sing the lyrics together and sound like an awful church choir. I never got the chance to listen to it live, performed properly by the band. I'm still heartbroken they didn't leave it on the track list for the album. I have to resort to listening to illegal Spotify versions.

I feel like crying everytime I remember this is the last show I might ever do with Inhaler. The last time I might see the lot of them. They'll surely disappear off into the shadows once tour is over, making their next album, cutting off all contact to focus solely on their music. After spending so much time with a group of people, then completely losing them from your life, you just feel so very empty. Like a swimming pool with no water. Or a mug of tea left hollow after spilling it all by accident. Last night — I would never dare to admit this to anyone — I cried for two hours straight into the pillow of my hotel room. Tour is a glorious thing. Fun, exciting, terrifying all at the same time. But the thought of finality is what split me into pieces, broke me up and squeezed tear after tear from my eyes.

Fran keeps looking at me with raised eyebrows like she's about to ask a question. She's scribbling on her set list, making sure she knows exactly what's happening and when. Her earrings twinkle as she tilts her head, her eyeliner sharp and perfect. Her mouth parts the slightest bit to reveal white teeth, a small smile. "You alright there, Luz?"

God, anytime someone asks me that, it makes me want to cry ten times more. I look down the train compartment, stare at the bathroom and decide whether to make my move. Do I run and hide in there for the duration of the trip, two hours of crying into mouldy train toilet paper? Or do I try to brave it and tell her how I feel? Or just lie through gritted teeth? She's good at reading me. She'll know that I'm not telling the truth.

"Don't tell Nieve this but I feel like absolute shite." There it is. I said it. Fire sinks into my skin, blood rushes up to my head. I squeeze my cheek to make sure I am actually sitting here and that I'm not hallucinating. Lack of sleep had made me seem some weird shit. I need caffeine. Quick.

"We all do." Fran puts her hand on top of mine. "Look, one more show, then we can sleep for as long as we want."

"That's the thing. I don't want this to end."

Fran gets up from her seat and swivels around the table. She sits down beside me, arms opening up and embraces me until I think I see stars. No one has ever hugged me so tightly. My bones seem to audibly shift.

"Nieve's doing a few shows in February, remember? And I'm sure next time Inhaler tours, they'll be on their hands and knees begging for us to come back." She strokes my hair. "Although, Bobby might be telling us to bugger off instead. You two need to sort out this drama. It's driving us all mad."

"He started it." I sound like a three-year-old irritated at my brother.

Fran laughs to herself. "Fucking hell. I bet he did."

—

Arguing. It's happened again. Our last day together has gone to a great start.

First stop of the day—a random restaurant that Ryan dragged us to. Hugs were shared, kind words uttered, teeth glowing under dim lights. I sit down on a wooden chair, peel my jacket from my body and place it on the back. The cool wind is slamming against the windows. I'd forgotten how cold Dublin was. Especially in November. Some Christmas lights adorn the streets and pubs are lively with masses of people. We were stopped a only once on the way there by a group of fans—even our attempt at scuttling through empty alleyways didn't work when five friends with Inhaler-themed cowboy-hats impeded our trail. They were lovely. Photos taken and compliments exchanged. Sadly, Bobby was in a bad mood. When I say a bad mood, I mean a 'I want to kill everyone on this planet and throw myself on a train track' kind of bad mood. He hid away from the fans, behind me and Nieve. His height wasn't particularly helpful in that instant. The blonde, 'Amelie', had said in her thick French accent, "Is that Bobby? I was wondering where he was."

Caught. Found. He thought staying there for a while longer would make them think he wasn't there at all. Amelie was persistent, however, and said softly, "Please could I take a picture with you?"

Her friends all started whispering. Eli was tapping his friend on the shoulder to get him to move. He was frozen. Eli frowned and shook his head.

"Sorry but Rob's being a bit weird today," Josh explained. "I don't think he wants any photos."

Amelie nodded, but the sadness in her eyes was apparent. "That's okay."

I felt bad for the girl. I turned around, looked at Bobby. He was on his phone. Scrolling through Tiktok still crouched down. A quick look at his phone screen showed me that he was watching edits — edits of himself. I had to take a double take to actually believe what I'd just seen. He was staring at clips of himself, smiling, and wouldn't even stand for five seconds next to a girl who'd paid to see his band. He continued to swipe his thumb against the screen, blue eyes lit up by his bright phone.

Then his eyes caught mine and he closed the Tiktok tab. "You didn't see that, did you?" He worriedly spoke so unbelievably quickly, I had to scramble my brain to decipher the words. His smile flipped upside down. Shock written all over him. Blush rising right up to the tips of his ears.

"The hell is wrong with you?" I muttered. Nieve heard. She stepped away. She did not want to be involved in whatever the two of us were plotting.

"What's wrong with me?" He breathed. It's like he was asking himself the question but there was an unyielding harshness to his voice, raspy and agitated. I was sure that this argument was going to be just as bad as the Sid Vicious incident, or worse. Halloween Bobby was on a different wavelength — bordering on depravity.

"You're watching fucking Tiktok edits of yourself. Didn't think you could be that self-centered—"

"Can we not do this now? Please?" Bobby tried to get me to calm down. Amelie and her friends were still only metres away, asking Josh about the tour, about the next album. Fran was listening in. She was smiling to herself. Part of her definitely enjoyed the beef between us.

"Show me your Tiktok."

"No."

"Now."

He sighed. I grabbed his phone, opened Tiktok straight away. His whole 'For You' page was edits of himself. The account he was on was a fake user account. I couldn't believe my eyes.

"What the hell..." Was all I could manage to say.

"I can explain."

"Can you? Go on then."

He didn't say anything. Took his phone back and kicked the brick wall beside him. He shook his phone around like he was going to throw it as well. That wouldn't change anything. I'd seen the worst of it — at least I hoped I'd seen the worst of it.

"Take that photo with those girls and I'll shut up about this." I gave him an option. A way to let him get out of the hole he'd dug for himself.

He was so tall. Sometimes I forgot that. But there, back straight, no longer slouched and his neck craned to meet my eyes. I couldn't hold eye contact. His clenched jaw was making me nervous.

"Fine." He finally concluded the argument with a single word. His index finger then pointed towards me, just beneath my neck. "But you don't tell anyone about this."

I grinned. "I promise."

Stepping over towards Amelie, he smiled widely, put an arm over her shoulder and allowed Fran to take the picture of the group. Moments later he was complaining about his shoes. How they were too small. If Robert Keating had a chance to complain about anything, he'd take it and wouldn't shut up about it. I just knew at that point that we'd be hearing about his shoes for the rest of the day.

Tension is thick in the restaurant. I can almost taste it in my mouth. Rob sits beside me. I don't want to look at him, don't want to hear him talk, don't want to have anything to do with him. He's only the only person I won't miss once this tour is over.

Before anyone can get a word out, Eli taps his fork against his glass. All eyes fall to him. Grace is next to him, she's appeared out of nowhere.

"I just want to say thank you to Nieve, Fran, Lucia, Finn and Matt for being such great openers on our tour. We're so grateful for all of you. This wouldn't have been the same without you."

"Aw, Eli, I might cry a bit, please stop." Nieve shakes her head, holding her napkin to her eyes. "This has been such a dream. We should be thanking you for giving us this opportunity."

"We need to do this again sometime." Ryan pitches in. "Next time we tour, you're coming with us."

"Yeah. That would be grand," Josh exclaims, pulling up his pint of Guinness and crashing it against everyone else's.

Bobby, after all his hours of complaining, has gone back to silent, angry mode. Playing around with his fork, he stares blankly at the menu, fingers tracing the lettering. I watch him as the others melt into conversation. I just want to know what is going through his head. Why is he acting like this? Last week, he was fun to be around and we had a good time. Especially when he's drunk, he loosens up a bit and stops with the facade. He even kissed me once. As a joke. I think.

It was a mess of alcohol. A 'midnight tour bus party'. We were in London and instead of going to the hotel, we ended up spending the night in the lovely green tour bus. We all got so drunk we could hardly speak. I can't remember all that we got up to but when we were sobering up, Bobby dragged me outside of the bus. He gave me his jacket, placed it over my shoulders. We sat down on a random doorstep, hugging each other to keep warm. Two penguins. Two people who usually hated eachothers guts, finding comfort in the warmth that emanated from our bodies. I'd never thought his hair was nice until that moment. How it grazed over my neck. How the curls twisted perfectly and his overgrown mullet framed his face. Or how pretty his eyes were as they shone under streetlights. Dreamy, long eyelashes, sea-like waves. He'd kissed me. His long fingers over my cheeks. His pink lips slotting between mine. I pulled away, shocked. Electricity had sparked between us, my heart was pounding, my body was a torch. Then I ran away from him. I couldn't understand what If just felt. I had never seen him in that way. We never mentioned it again.

Maybe that's what has made him colder. I still haven't acknowledged what happened that night. I keep thinking that he was too drunk to even remember it, but maybe he does. I'm not going to bring it up. Especially now. Especially in this restaurant with everyone sat with us.

"I'm sorry, Lucia."

My heart drops. Bobby is looking at me. Downcast. Entire state is disjointed. His mouth just said that, his brain just formulated those words.

"What?" I must've heard him wrong. Imagining it. This time I must be hallucinating.

"I'm sorry about that night."

Mindreader. He knew what I was thinking about. What my mind has been lingering on. The weather reminds me, his scent reminds me, his hands remind me, his jacket reminds me. That night. London. The night after Troxy. The wind — cut-throat, sharp, steely — the rain, and my tear-stained bedsheets. The taste of his mouth and the dejction locked into his eyes as I left him. Like I'd made a terrible mistake. Like running into my hotel room, alone, was the worst possible option I could've chosen.

I'm wearing the same earrings as I did that night — these ribbon ones that a fan made for me. Bobby had pointed them out — which he shifted between his fingertips and said they suited me. He's eyeing them now, hands curving, resisting any urge to touch them again, to drag us back to that moment.

The waiter takes my order. Bobby's words properly forage the depths of my mind, the veins and the arteries circling around my body, the aching crevices of my heart. I ask for the first thing I see on the menu and a Fanta. I want to stay sober. I want to savour all that will happen beyond this second. Bobby also doesn't get alcohol. Shockingly. The Bobby I know would never turn down a pint of Guinness. But he gets a 7up instead and takes a long, hard gulp of it when the waiter comes back. I'm counting the cracks on the table, how squeaky the chair is, the coffee stain on the ceiling — trying to guess how they managed to get up there. Musicians like to occupy their brains. They don't like to think too much - just do.

"I'm sorry..." I whisper. Finally giving him a reponse after a long pause for thought.

He had been waiting for an answer. He catches it. Twists uneasily in his seat. Wood creaks. Rain patters.

"...It was wrong of me to leave you." The image of his despair still rings through my bones. I swear when my cells divide they keep trying to recreate that look on his face.

"I shouldn't have..." his voice lowers, heat pf his mouth glides by my ear "...kissed you."

I'm trying to drink my Fanta with no reaction. Sugary greatness. Cold, slightly wet fingers. Orangey flavouring. But his voice is so low, trickling, burning, goosebump-inducing. I can't look at him. He's too close to me. It's too hot in the restaurant. Soundcheck is in 20 minutes. I want to run away again. I always want to run away.

Down my Fanta, smooth my skirt, breathe in deeply.

"I liked it." I similarly glide my lips over his ear when he's least expecting it, returning the favour.

He coughs. Chokes a bit on his drink. Then he eats his Pesto pasta with the pinkest neck I've ever seen on a person. Jacket off to reveal long, tattoo-covered arms, and the muscles that have progressively been getting bigger over the months. I join Ryan and Matt's drummer conversation to stop staring. It's weird. Being attracted to him feels wrong. Teenage Lucia would be ashamed. She’d slap some sense into me.

Dinner ends quickly. We're thrusted back into Dublin air before we can even adjust to the complete switch in environment. Running to the venue, through alleyways, shooting splashes of water all over the place, we realise how late we are. I feel better than I did in the morning. That dreaded train ride. Bobbys giving me the silent treatment again. I hate it. I hate it more than when he's being downright horrible to me.

Our set was unbelievable. The best show I've ever done. The crowd was unreal, the size of the place was absurd. We had never sounded so great. Everything went according to plan. We're crying now that we're offstage. We need something to uplift us. Nieve's idea is to party in the back. Which is one of the best parts of the night.

We find a spot just before Inhaler goes on. Screams bleed through the room, adoration written in teenage faces, phones held up to capture the moment. The five lads on stage. One final time. I scream like I'm sixteen all over again, dancing as the first song 'These Are The Days' begins to play. Shouting along, throwing my hands in the air. I don't think I've ever been so happy and fulfilled before.

The setlist is the usual. I didn't expect them to change it. Eli gives a little 'thank you' speech, mentioning us at the end. Then suddenly encore starts and I'm met by a mildly unfamiliar song. The crowd seems just as confused as I am. Bobby is wearing that stupid black vest and I swear his bass has been lowered all the more. The next time they perform, it'll surely be grazing the floor.

Bobby doesn't normally speak to the crowd at shows. It's always Eli. But as they play the intro, he begins to speak, "Hi everyone. Hope you're all having a good time." Commotion, screams, chanting 'Bobby' as if it's a cult gathering, not a concert. His eyes are searching through the crowd. The party in the back turned into moshpits and luckily I got pushed near to the front. His eyes land on mine. I can tell he's looking at when he plays with his earring — like it's a code between us. He keeps playing the same few notes on the bass lazily as he grabs the mic stand. Everyone is silent and listening as he says, "This is 'You Might Get What You Want'.

I recognise it now. I'm sent back to high school. 6 years ago. Practice room at school. Instrument cases strewn all over tha place, broken drumsticks leant against the wall. I'm sat at the piano as Bobby announces, "This is a new song I wrote." He passes me the chords starts singing. My thoughts are quiet. The external world is too loud for me to think. I'm lost in the music. The song is beautiful — lyrics, chords, arrangement, Bobby's voice. That was the day when I wanted to ask to join the band. Then Bobby was horrible to me so I changed my mind. I even asked him what the song was about. He looked at the Jim Morrison poster on the door, hand against his buzzed head as he thought up a response. "A girl," was his final conclusion. I thanked him for his specificity. He told me, quite frustratedly, it was 'none of my business'. Then he was riled up and told me to leave because I was 'playing it all wrong'. One of the last times I ever played with the band. So when I hear the song again — I'm back, sitting at the piano with my school uniform, waiting for cues to play the next chord.

The crowd goes wild at the fact that Bobby is singing alone. This is unusual. The majority of the crowd don't know the song. Reminds me of their first gigs in tiny venues. I sing along, staring at Bobby as he stares back. I wonder which girl the song was actually about. At seventeen, he hung out with every girl in sight - parties, random town meetups, gigs. The way he is looking at me is shattering me down to my core — eyes painted with affection and how he keeps moving his earring. For some reason, I wish the song is about me. Then he sings, 'You Might Get What You Want' whilst pointing right at me. Has anyone else noticed his staring? Nieve and Fran seem clueless. It could all be in my head. His face appears on the screen. I stare. Not ashamed. Appreciating his beauty for as long as we have left. Only tonight. Then nothing. Only the possibility of seeing eachother once again. It won't be set in stone.

I'm a sweaty mess by the end of the show. Last goodbyes, last waves, last shocked stares at the extent of the crowd. I always forget how boiling it gets in the standing area. I'm almost at the point of suffocating. We leave with the crowd, taking a few selfies with fans along the way. I stand in the merch queue. I need something to remember this. Something I can keep and wear and just be brought back to this venue, to this atmosphere. I buy a black tour shirt with the bubbly lettering, slipping it over my tank top. I just know the change in temperature will murder me. The more layers I have on, the better.

We slip through the crowd. Thankfully, it's quieter after my long time in the merch queue. I'd never seen such a long amalgamation of people.

Back at the hotel, I crash straight down onto my bed. Don't even turn on the lights or take off my clothes. I just close my eyes and stretch out my body like a cat. It all happened too quickly. I left the band early to head back, although I heard the rest of them were going to the tour bus to get drunk. I've already had so much fun. I just need to relax. Alone time. Silence. Comfort.

A knock on the door.

I jump up. Still in my Inhaler shirt and lacy white skirt, I feel like taking a shower. But whoever just knocked has impeded any plans. I could just pretend I didn't hear them. I could fall asleep and they'll just walk away.

Another knock. I jolt up this time. It's louder.

This time I reach the door. Sliding the keyhole open, I see him. Of course it's him. Of course. Of all the people that could be here right now. His hair is wet, mussed up. He's holding his jacket under his arm as it's completely drenched. Looking from side to side, he seems to contemplate giving up and leaving me solitary.

I open the door. Let my guard down. I want to talk. Rant. Let out all the garble mixing up and stuffing my skull. He'd listen to me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask. I don't say it rudely. Make sure to keep my tone quiet and curious. The rise of his head to meet my eyes is almost film-like, tracing along my skin, photographic.

"I need to talk to you."

"Come in then."

Close the door behind him. He drops his jacket onto the floor. Slides off those shoes with a groan. They really are too small on him. He can hardly untie the laces without sucking in a quick breath. He looks at himself in the dodgy mirror, trying to fix any flying pieces of hair. His beard is growing a little — little moustache fading in above his mouth.

He sits down on a chair by the table. His lengthy legs reach up to the end of the bed where I'm sat. He picks up a tea bag, sniffs it then puts it back. I'm worried about what he's about to say. He looks like he's gone through hell and back to get here. I've never seen him so dishevelled.

"You were amazing today." I hate the silence. I fill it up. "You all get better every time."

He's been so serious since he came in but the ghost of a smile haunts his lips. They twitch then fall. "So do you."

“Is this about your weird For You page because I’m pretty fucking worried.” I’m trying to forget I saw any of those edits.

“It’s not that.” He shakes his head. He's hugging his chest, arms shivering. My eyes narrow. Each hair on his arm is stood to attention.

"Do you want a blanket?" I'm about to look for something to warm him up when his hand clasps around my wrist. He's stood up. I'm sat down, looking up at him. His thumb traces the inside of my wrist, over a bracelet I have. One that he gave me when I was sixteen. A friendship bracelet he'd brought to one of the rehearsal sessions. I wore it just to get a reaction out of him. This is the first time he’s noticed it.

I want to ask him what he's doing. But then he's sat next to me with his arms around my body and I forget what I was going to say.

"Robert..." I don't normally say his full name. It's the only word that's coming to mind. His wet hair is dripping all over my skirt, his head is against my chest, he won't look up at me.

When I pick up his face, stretch my hands over his cheeks, I find his crystal eyes glossed over. Tears. He's crying. I don't know how to react. He buries his head back into the crook of my neck like he's embarrassed. Then he's breathing heavily. Heaving. Sniffling.

"What is it?" I whisper. I stroke every inch of his hair, the nape of his neck, the thin material of his vest. I trace the tattoos on his arm. Finally landing on the music notation inked into his wrist.

"I don't want you to leave." He holds onto my waist, under my shirt, cold skin. "Stay here. With me. Please."

I wipe the tears from his face. I must look like a beetroot. I'm boiling.

"Really?" I think I'm crying as well. I can't help it. This is the first time I’ve ever seen him so unguarded, so helpless.

"I only sang that song so you'd hear it." He looks up at the ceiling, cogs turning in his brain. "It's not just about a girl. It's about you."

"You're kidding." I have to laugh.

"I'm not. I wrote it during the summer holidays before high school. I had some weird thought that you were going to call me and ask me out. I was always a prick to you so I don't know where that idea was coming from exactly. It's just when you want something so badly—I guess your brain manifests it into reality. Like every time I turned around a corner, I thought you'd magically appear. I thought you'd say that you liked me. But then you went off to Uni, the band got big. And now this. You're in fucking Nieve Ella's band. I thought I was going to throw up when I saw you get out of the train. Everything just came back. I didn't put the song on the album because every time I hear it, I just remember what an idiot I am for not treating you well and for not telling you how I feel. Singing it brought me back to the practice room, to that shitty piano with pedals falling off the hinges. How you made such a disgusting piano sound divine. I don't want to make the same mistake. If I let you go now, I'll be regretting it for the rest of my life."

"So you were looking at me? When you were singing?" I tilt my head, thumb below his eye.

"I might have been." He's not crying anymore. His voice is less rough. He sounds like normal Bobby again.

"I'll stay with you. As long as you want."

"Forever?"

"Bit too long. I can only deal with you for about three hours at a time."

"Then we should make good use of the—" He looks down at his watch. "—Two hours and 43 minutes we have left."

"What do you have planned?" I'm getting closer to him. His nose bumps against mine.

"What do you want to do, Luz?" He's challenging me. Thumb swirling over my lips.

"This." I kiss him. Lips to lips. Two notes in perfect harmony. Everything we've been through culminating into one simple kiss. It's a peck. A tease. I pull away as I feel him yank me closer.

His hands find my ears and it's like that night again. His mouth tastes the same. Sweet. Lukewarm. He still grazes my bottom lip with his teeth when he feels me shift back.

"You're an angel," he says.

At that, I'm kissing him again. This time with more passion. Exploding fireworks. Jumping into the ocean, water floating around you. The ringing in your eyes after an explosion. An earthquake. A tidal wave. So many feelings at once. He's trying to take my shirt off. I let him. Pulled it over my head so quickly I thought he might get my neck off as well. He throws it onto the nearby chair, looking at me, with those glimmering eyes and perfect eyebrows. Beauty spots and smooth skin. I attempt to take off his shirt too, although it's pretty much stuck to his chest. He helps me out, laughing at my stress.

"It's not that hard." He smirks, tugging at the top as I manage to unstick the bottom.

"Fuck off." I roll my eyes.

He pushes me down onto the bedsheets, helping me up until my head is on the pillow. I look over his frame. Long torso, large biceps, chain around his neck. It's too much to deal with. Hooded eyes, smirk on his lips, happy trail leading down to his belt. He knows how he's making me dizzy. He leans down, curling over me, scent hanging, cool skin against mine. I throw my head back. I've never been touched like this. So precise. So gentle. Like I'm his favourite bass guitar. I'd never noticed how long his fingers were until they were splayed over my bra, until the other hand was sliding up my thigh.

He kisses my neck, my shoulders, my collarbones, the valley between my breasts, tongue flat, teeth sharp. I hold onto his hair, then onto his toned shoulders. This morning, I would never have expected that this would happen. That the boy I loathed was admiring me and tasting me with unrelenting adoration. Now, the thought of leaving him makes me sick to my stomach. I pull him a little closer, kiss him a little harder and remember just how red teenage Bobby's face was after he'd sang that song to me. How defensive he was when I asked him about it. Now it all makes sense.

I won't ever leave him again.

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pineapplefulfillseveryneed · 4 months

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Sparks tour 2023

Posting this close to a whole year after the fact, but a tour this good really takes time for me to process. My chest was constantly exploding with how much I loved it all and I have no idea how to put that into words. (I've fully come to understand why Sparks themselves stick with a lovely audience photo after every show accompanied by a massive "THANK YOU!".) However I do want to preserve my tour memories with more detail as well, so at a risk of terrible writing... here's part one of me attempting to write it all down. I went to 5 shows (Manchester, Royal Albert Hall x2, Utrecht and Brussels) and I'll be making posts for all of them. (...I am unreasonably excited to talk about the show in Brussels, but all in good time.) This first post will probably be the longest one as I will be including my first reactions to all the songs, and will equally talk about Mr. B's set in detail :) (Spoiler alert: he too was absolutely amazing and contributed considerably to how great everything was.)

Show #1: Bridgewater Hall, Manchester (may 27, 2023)

Things had not gone smoothly at all for me with the ticket sale for this show, but it worked out amazingly as the result was that @where-did-the-groove-go got to be my concert buddy which was such an honour! It was her first Sparks show and my first one of the tour and honestly, you can't do much better than to start of with a Manchester show. I had been worried about how far away our seats would be but it was a lot closer than photos of the venue had made it seem and we had an amazing view: we were in the centre of the middle of the first balcony, the seats were on a slight slope so no heads were blocking our view. Both of us had decided not to listen to the album before the show as it had only been out for a day. It was a tough decision to make, but it was absolutely the right one :D Okay, onto the show!!

Opening act: Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer

I was so excited to see Mr. B! I've known about him for years independently of Sparks and had missed out on seeing him with the Hippopotamus tour, so FINALLY I was seeing Mr. B! He came on in an amazing outfit and graced us with the opening lines of... Here Comes Bob?! I was losing my shit! We're not just being treated to Mr. B, but we're treated to Mr. B playing Sparks?! I am not normally one to enjoy Sparks covers, but I was having the time of my life! I love this guy! He then went on to play the Mr. B classic All Hail The Chap! (my sister would be jealous hehe), which I loved so much! The audience was a little slow to catch on, but eventually got there with doing their part which I was happy about. This was followed up by once again familiar notes... Amateur Hour?! MORE SPARKS?? Are you kidding me right now, what did we do to deserve this! IT WAS SO GOOD! After which it didn't end, because then he went on to play Get In The Swing (which is one of my favourite songs of all time - I was being very normal and chill about everything). It took me a moment to grasp the fact we were being treated a full-blown Sparks medley, because it didn't stop there and he just kept going with the Sparks songs. The medley lasted nearly 10 minutes and my mind was blown at many points. He included so many songs that I had only ever dreamed of hearing live. I was having THE BEST TIME. He ended the medley by loudly singing "ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT IS SEX!!!!". I was laughing so much, it really was the perfect medley. The next song was one of his own songs that I hadn't heard yet but it had me chuckling so much, a song called Looking Forward To Leaving that he thought might resonate with the Sparks sensibility and their fans. (All too right, sir, all too right.) He finished his set with a cover of Suburban Homeboy and I couldn't have been happier. THE Suburban Homeboy supreme covering that song, Mr.B you have all my love. Sparks had yet to hit the stage but this evening was already made. (@dinkydiamond had seen the show the night before and like a good friend who doesn't spread spoilers, had only told me that at many points she had thought about how much I was going to love it. I hadn't even thought about the fact that that statement would include Mr. B's set to such a degree!)

Mr. B's setlist

(You may enjoy listening to the medley first before knowing what songs were part of the medley, so proceed with caution. I've added asterisks to the titles of the songs within it that blew me out of my seat the most.)

Here Comes Bob

All Hail The Chap!

Medley: Amateur Hour, Get In The Swing*, Big Boy, Moustache, What Are All These Bands So Angry About?*, Strange Animal*, Mickey Mouse, I Predict, When I'm With You, Missionary Position*, All You Ever Think About Is Sex*

Looking Forward To Leaving

Suburban Homeboy

_____

The music played in the hall was SO TENSE AND DRAMATIC. You just got to love and respect Sparks for their music picks to play in the hall before the show, they really know how to set the scene and get the audience excited and anxious in equal amounts. (A few shows later we learned it was film music by Bernard Hermann, which really was such an amazing choice. I'll come back to this subject later on with a bit more info on the songs in my write-up of another show.)

The big event! ~Sparks!~

HOLY SHIT their entrance music was so exciting and beautiful!!!! Russell's outfit! GOD YEAH. It also immediately became clear this audience was going to be AMAZING, everyone was so ready to go! RON WAS WEARING JORDANS!!!! (A dream of mine to see one day!!!) To a lot of very loud cheering, Russell proceeded to do his famed "So.... Manchester, may we start?" to start things off. Still the perfect opener, and I never tire of when So May We Start kicks off and Russell does the jump. The audience response was amazing, which was really fun to see from the balcony! I was really enjoying the lights, which also were especially great to see from our balcony seats! (Also Russell gets an award for performer of the year for pretending to look at his imaginary watch while singing "it's time to start".)

I loved doing the ah-ah-ah's with the entire audience for The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte, and it was so cool to see it live! The lights were absolutely excellent. But a gif will say what I loved the most about the performance of that song a lot better than words ever could, so:

Russell was being really sweet about how playing Manchester is always really great and then added it was the "first time we play this ProPEr THeAtrE, but uh we'll try to make due anyway". (Footage of him saying this exists and it's extremely blessed.) He spoke about the new album and asked the audience which number it is. The audience incoherently shouted some things back, to which Russell's response was to roast us all by saying "Clearly you don't know."

Eaten By The Monster Of Love was a totally unexpected treat that blew my mind! It's quite possibly my favourite song from Angst In My Pants and I love the synth line so much! So lucky!!! I loved Russell's dancing during Angst In My Pants, I had really missed his dancing and with that song it's always especially excellent. Beaver O'Lindy blew my brains out! I'd not expected that at all! The lights were amazing (the spotlight for the accordion parts, the portraying of the letters, light flashing on Ron from all sides - I've got footage of this and somehow it looked especially good this night), shouting along to B-E-A-V-E-R, Russell's falsetto... What a perfect song, it's got it all :D "Yes I knooow - WOO!" When I'm With You was so special, it's so blessed that they chose to play it. It's how we all feel about them, and what's better than to sing it back at them while they're playing it for us :) It's also a song that highlights Russell's amazing voice especially well, his voice absolutely kills me and I wouldn't have it any other way. I also loved those swirly lights! And what we've gone on to affectionately refer to as "Russell's swim dance". Nothing Is As Good As They Say It Is is an absolute banger and it was my favourite of the 3 singles that had already been released before the album came out - I was so ready to go :D I loved Russell's moves for this song so much! Something that really stayed with me is that he actually spun around for "Take a look around and you'll understand". (Can I love him even more?)

The time arrived for the first new song from the album that me and @where-did-the-groove-go hadn't heard yet, which Russell introduced with these words: "This is another brand new song for any of you who feel like maybe you're not on the right course." *small pause* "It's a song that's called 'It Doesn't Have To Be That Way'." ...I was simultaneously having an out of body and in of body experience and already felt teary eyed, and the song hadn't even started yet. It hit me really hard, it was so beautiful and I am so grateful that this was how I first heard this song. "It doesn't have to be that way, OKAY". I was literally holding my heart throughout the whole song (which I was doing quite often during the show anyway but, I literally couldn't do anything else). Absolutely transfixed. "I'll pay for it, I'll pay for it". Thank you so much Sparks for having our backs <3 Genuinely one of the most beautiful experiences and songs ever. (We all spoke about it for many days, for weeks, even months after the show. And obviously I am still talking about it now. I've got my full essay on it elsewhere so you'll be spared of that here - I think you all understand what I mean anyway.)

BALLS hit me in the face like a brick! (Positive. SO VERY POSITIVE.) It's one of my current absolute favourite songs and I had been raving about Balls all the time for the last year or so! I would have never expected to hear it live, AND HERE WE WERE! I was completely losing my shit!!! It was intense, banging, and also beautiful. Also the lights during the instrumental bit?! The way the light filled the hall?!! R&R were both going at it with full energy, I couldn't love it more! Balls and shouting along to it with my fist in the air was one of the absolute biggest highlights of the show for me! (And there were so many highlights.) I am pretty sure there was at least one BALLS [insert fist emoji here] aimed in my direction which I am so grateful for! It was so cool! *synced up BALLS!* Hearing one of my favourite bits of lyrics live, "Do you want to wait, or crash the gate?", was just something else. Balls is one of THE inspirational songs of all time. At least to me. (After the show 3 friends seperately came up to me and shouted BALLS! at me before saying anything else and I love you all so much, you all really know me well [teary eyed smile emoji] That was really special to me. I've made some gifs of some of my Balls footage too, most of my footage of it is rightfully feral but some of it came out well: 1, 2.)

Shopping Mall Of Love remains such a win live, Ron is appropriately intense and cool (not that Ron is ever not cool - Ron is always cool) and I love the way he performs the song. Russell did some great dancing behind Ron too, and also walked around like a badass while singing his "Come, the shopping mall of love, come with me" parts. Award winning! Also THE CLAPS. Always, THE CLAPS. And Manchester audiences know how it's done [fire emoji] Toughest Girl In Town was yet another absolutely amazing and surprising setlist choice, so cool! What I especially liked was that I could see Sarah and Amanda losing their shit to it downstairs in the stalls, dancing so hard in their seats :D That really added to it - some big Toughest Girl In Town fans down there! (I am so proud of my friends.) Also.. THE TAMBOURINE!!! [heart emoji]

The next song that was new to us was Escalator, and I loved it SO MUCH!!! It had me immediately. The driving machine type of sound, the very clear and bright sounding synth sounds, Russell's escalator dance (!!!!! which he did a lot, btw, almost the entire song), the lights! This song just *feels* amazing, the lights going up and down - hell yeah. Russell's escalator dance really is everything to me. I was holding my heart the entire time. I live in this song now, this is now my new home. You can wake me up in the middle of the night for a live performance of Escalator. Any time. (To say it was an instant favourite is an understatement.)

We Go Dancing was similarly new to us, and sadly it felt like it went over most of the audience's head a bit because obviously very few people had heard the album so far and it's a hard one for catching the lyrics live. A very intense experience but also really cool, it's a super blessed thing to be able to hear songs live before hearing it elsewhere. After hearing it I was excited to find out later what the song would have been about.

*Ron plays piano motif* OH MY GOD BON VOYAGE?! YOU WHAT?!! Russell's vocals were literally everything and I loved all the arm swaying, it was such a sweet experience and another song that so clearly shows how awesome Manchester audiences are when it comes to Sparks. I loved this so much! Russell's moves for the "two of you, two of them" bit were absolutely *chef's kiss* too :D All of this was soon followed by me gasping yet again when the first notes of Music That You Can Dance To filled the hall! My literal reaction was OH MY GOD THEY KEPT IT!!!!! *proceeds to go nuts* One of The Live Songs Ever, a song I already loved before hearing it live, and possibly my favourite live song from the tour the year prior too. (I am pretty sure I screamed quite audibly and notably on the previous tour every time they played it, and I am happy to report I still feel exactly the same.) We all know this gets everyone out of their seats, and with this being Manchester it was especially amazing. It was so great to watch everyone equally going nuts from the balcony, party of all time! Russell's mic stopped working at some point though which was sad, but it only lead to him clapping and dancing harder. So mic be damned, it was possibly even more fun and special because of it.

You know there's little point in sitting down after Music That You Can Dance To (and I don't really want to sit down after that to begin with, if at all, but I am a bit self-conscious about dancing in the balcony), so we leaned on our seats for a second while the opening notes of When Do I Get To Sing My Way were played. It obviously *really* took off again rather quickly :D Unfortunately the mic problem came back but this time it was rapidly solved and Russell got to sing almost the whole song anyway, and I can not overstate how great it was to watch this whole audience dancing.

The party continued with The Number One Song In Heaven which obviously always wins, and of course included Ron's dance - HELL YEAH. However towards the end of the song Russell's microphone stopped working YET AGAIN. He was handed another microphone, which was equally not doing anything, and so he yeeted the mic. (all too right honestly, how many broken mics are you going to hand him?! That was not ok.) Of course this really sucked, especially for Russell, but this man's a true professional and made all of this extra fun for everyone: he went at it extra hard with the clapping and dancing and no one in the audience was going to let this ruin anything either. Russell gestured for the audience to sing the lines and we *really* did our best. ([salute emoji] On it boss!) It ended up being extra special because of it and we all still had the absolute best time. But of course at the same time it was rightfully upsetting. Once Russell had a mic that worked again he expressed his disappointment in not being able to sing the end of the song, which is one of his favourite parts. (Oof tech team, bad job.)

The show went on and Ron did a false start for This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us which is always a great time, people go nuts and then the song doesn't start hahaha. This audience was so phenomenal, it was the best time. And such a party when the song did properly start! Obviously there was a really large applause after that :) Which seemed to only stop because they started playing Gee, That Was Fun. It was so beautiful and touching. And really sad because indeed, noo, we don't want this to end! The standing ovation afterwards was massive and so very love filled. From my perspective even the bouncers seemed in awe with the audience. This audience could switch from going nuts to completely silent to a loving standing ovation in an instant, depending on what was happening on stage. It really was one of the best audiences I've been part of, I loved it so much! ^^ Ron and Russell very sweetly waved before leaving the stage :)

~Encore!~

They came back to a lot of cheering to which Russell said "Thank you - THE PARTY IS NOT OVER!" and we all cheered yet again, as A Love Story started. Another new song! WOOOOHH THIS WAS HITTING HARD! I loved it so much! And the lights with the massive X's were so cool! Absolutely a highlight! When My Baby's Taking Me Home started me and @where-did-the-groove-go yelled out in unison which is still so funny to me and also, all too right, all too right!!! It doesn't matter if you've seen it live a couple of times or if it's your first time - it HITS. The audience was once again utterly amazing, really heightening the experience. (ALSO, the rainbow lights that fades to white!)

During the band introduction Ron was still clapping for the other band members when Russell went "oh yeah..." and went to stand beside Ron and did a cheesy grin, "the guy who writes much of what you've heard this evening and what you've heard on albums 1 to 26", *Ron does a Ron-cringe*, "my big brother, Ron Mael." This started a RON RON RON chant which made me so happy :D When it seemed to die down just a tiny bit, Russell interrupted and said "He says thank you." asdjhds, sir XD He also added that Manchester shows are always amazing but "this one tops them all". [insert teary eyed smile emoji] (True though, it really was one of the best shows I've been to, if not the best one!) After that, All That was such a smiley lovely performance and I did quite a bit of internal screaming with how lovely exactly it all was and had been. (When I watch footage back I can't help but say "aww" out loud quite a few times. It really was so sweet.)

Something I hadn't realised as it happened but learned about later was that they were so happy with their bow - which was so fun. I had avoided spoilers of course but I learned that there was a bit of bowing-chaos in Oxford. So in Manchester there was a 'Wahey, we nailed the bow!!' moment after bowing XD (I made a post about that, it's too good.)

MASSIVE STANDING OVATION. Russell forced the microphone on Ron, saying "Here! He hasn't spoken on the tour so it's only cos it's Manchester", as he proceeds to evily walk away. This moment was so funny to me because Russell clearly knew very well what he was doing and Ron was just standing there smiling looking at this happening, with no chance of handing the mic back. His speech was wonderful and really sweet, starting off with saying that the citizens of other cities were going to hate him for this XD The audience was so silent while he spoke and didn't start cheering until he had actually finished speaking which was real nice. Russell wanted to grab the mic back after that but Ron didn't want to let it go yet, which was another moment I really enjoyed witnessing. Ron introduced Russell as the vocalist of the band, which had Russell standing there smiling really wide, after which Russell quickly grabbed the mic back. (I love them so much hahaha.) Russell asked to take a photo with "all of you fine people" (I am normal about this) and happily bounced after the photo was taken. The applause got going again and it was just the best. Russell blew kisses to people and the amount of love in the hall was just so damn high.

It felt like they didn't want to have to leave that stage and obviously we didn't want them to leave either. Everyone was just so happy to be there. What a show. What an audience. It really was the sweetest :)

Sparks setlist

So May We Start?

The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte

Eaten By The Monster Of Love

Angst In My Pants

Beaver O'Lindy

When I'm With You

Nothing Is As Good As They Say It Is

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way

Balls

Shopping Mall Of Love

The Toughest Girl In Town

Escalator

We Go Dancing

Bon Voyage

Music That You Can Dance To

When Do I Get To Sing 'My Way'

The Number One Song In Heaven (featuring Ron's dance)

This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us

Gee, That Was Fun

A Love Story

My Baby's Taking Me Home

All That

(I did not make it into the photo as I am behind Ron's head, but @where-did-the-groove-go and some other friends did make it in ^_^)

~ Bonus: post show shenanigans ~

After the show we were hanging out with a little group of us in the entrance hall of the venue, quite a lot of our tumblr people and even some of our friends from Japan were present which was so cool! It was so very nice to see everyone, whether it was seeing again or for the first time! I went to say hello to Mr. B who was manning his own merch table to let him know how much I'd loved his set, and that covering Sparks isn't easy to do in my opinion but that he truly nailed it. He said he had been nervous about it and only had had 2 weeks to prepare. (Sir that's incredible!) He was really lovely. He said he hoped to see me again and I gave him the cringiest: "Oh, you WILL!" (With fingerguns.) (...I really am like this.)

Our little group decided to check out the artists entrance, but there were so many people there and so when Ron and Russell actually *did* come out me and another friend both instinctively hid behind a wall. (Normal behaviour. ...but we just really don't want to crowd them.) There was another round of applause, which was really lovely. I was very busy hiding behind that wall though so I am not the most reliable person to say what happened next, but Ron and Russell kept their distance and stayed for a little bit to wave and smile at people which was really lovely. When they entered their car to leave, the fans instantly parted like the sea to clear the road for the car and I love that our fandom is like that :) We all waved as they passed by, and then ...the car had to immediately stop in front of a red traffic light 5 metres away. I absolutely lost it, you just can't make this up XD (We left immediately.) It was so hard for our group to then have to split up after such a lovely evening, but attempts to sleep needed to be made and there was the journey to London the next day. (Not that we slept much at all, there was a lot to discuss and think about.) Luckily a lot of us would be going on to London so at least we'd all be seeing each other again soon :)

#wow I finally managed to write this! *gives myself a medal* - stay tuned for part 2!#sparks tour 2023 #sparks tour 2023 europe #sparks #russell mael #ron mael #mr.b the gentleman rhymer #manchester #bridgewater hall #may 27 2023 #2023 #20's #i was there

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live-laugh-lenney · 5 months

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i extensively think about george having a swiftie gf and not only does he sit and listen to her explain the backstories behind each song and the parallels in lyrics but he surprises her with eras tour tickets and his ig story the entire night is just videos of his girl having the time of her life screaming the lyrics to lover to him <3

this is so cute, oh my-

in the weeks leading up to the show in london, she's preparing outfits for them.

she's scouring the internet for inspiration, saving ideas on a pinterest account that she made specifically for her eras show she was going to attend with george, looking on every single website she can find online when she had a spare moment to get an idea for more than 1 outfit. sending screenshots to george to see what his opinions were, what he was planning on wearing and whether she could alter his outfit so it seemed fitting to the theme of the eras tour.

and when the day comes, it's like a second christmas day for her.

she's up early in the morning so she could enjoy the whole day, she's blasting taylor swift songs around the flat which wakes up the rest of the boys which they couldn't be mad at, for too long, because she was having so much fun singing and dancing around the kitchen as she made breakfast and she was so excited for the show that night that they could dampen her spirits, speaking about nothing else but the night to come.

george has a whole day planned out for her, too.

they spend all morning getting ready together. she plays her music during her shower (which george shares with her because it's the one thing he enjoys doing knowing the boys can't really hear them over the sound of the water), she laughs when george sings along to some of the music because he had definitely been learning a few of her songs so he didn't seem out of place at wembley, and she even goes to town on decorating his face with glitter and some fancy patterns so he really looked the part. and once they're dressed in their almost matching outfits, lots of sequins glistening in the sunlight filtering through the windows and a cowboy hat for both of them on their heads, they get arthur to take photos of them before they disappear out the front door for the day.

they go out for an early dinner where they consume cocktails and she posts it online because she's really having the best day of her life with the one guy she truly loves. the one guy she wanted there with her. in her eyes, he had truly given her the best gift and she was thankful for the effort he had put in to make sure she had a great time. so by the time they're in wembley, they're a little buzzed and she's even more excited when she realises he's got floor tickets for her... which was more than she ever imagined.

and people recognise them, once they're seen inside of the venue, of course!

so lots of friendship bracelets are shared and exchanged with his fans and photos are taken; she even agrees to be a part of someone's tiktok video that george finds absolutely hilarious to witness. where yn wasn't someone well-known or on social media as often as he was, it felt ironic for him stand back and watch his girlfriend take his place on the app. and it made yn feel loved and included amongst those who love george for his content.

there's one photo posted between the two of them...

... and it's on george's instagram. a photo of yn with her back to the camera, arms in the air, as she's mid-dancing to one of her favourite songs playing on the setlist. a photo that george wanted to keep forever because she was in her element. and he felt pride to know she was truly enjoying herself.

"that was the best night of my life," she cries softly, cheeks absolutely sodden with tears of happiness once the show had finished, standing in the middle of the almost empty floor space with confetti littering the floor, her arms wrapping around his neck as she presses a kiss to his cheek, "thank you, george."

"you're welcome, rascal," he grins widely, wrapping his arms around her waist and hugging her close to his chest, her cheek resting on his clothed shoulder, "i'm glad you had the best night, babe."

"it was even better spending it with you," she admits and looks up at him, "seriously, i have no idea how i'm going to top a surprise for you."

"i'm not expecting anything in return, silly girl," he laughs and shakes his head, "just seeing you happy is enough for me, yeah?"

she nods and looks around as the fans around them start to make their way to the exits of the venue, "we should start heading home. as much as i'd love to stay here all night, i can feel my throat has been ripped to shreds."

"let's go," george unravels his arms from her waists and slips his fingers between hers, "plenty of tea for you over the next couple of days." xx

#george clarkey #george clarkey imagines #george clarkey fics #george clarkey headcannons #george clarkey blurbs #george clarke #george clarke blurbs #george clarke headcannons #george clarke fics #george clarke imagines

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hinamie · 8 days

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ok i have composed myself i have transcribed the lyrics for wish you were here as best as i could. i am going to listen to this and only this until i lose interest or the ability to hear, whichever happens first

this song is SUCH a bop the soft guitar intro in2 the main beat is so good but can we TALK . about how . HE STARTS IT WITH A "MWAH" WHAT A FUCKING ICON I LOVE HIM I LOVE THEMMMMM the percussion is so good i love the soft offbeat claps in th bg they add such a nice lil pep n especially in verse 2 after "love you even if you hate my guts" they add like 4 extra clap beats and i am !!!!!!! ASCENDING

verse 1 is iconic i love the line "pack up my head might mail it back to your house" its so fucking funny it reminds me of that post thts like "i didn't know how to deal with the fact that i had a crush so i wrote her a note that said get out of my school" . but listenok listen. verse 2 is the one they posted a snippet of last year and first of all i love the electric-y/tv-turning off/guitar slide/quiet video game laser effect as the vocals start it makes my brain buzz aNYWAY this verse is my favourite between the two and has absolutely s tier lines such as "as long as you think of me I don't care what" and "love you even if you hate my guts" PLUS the lil clappy bits i mentioned they r so GOOD. not to mention his voice pls.,,, he sounds so good when he belts,,, his voice has a slight rasp to it that they lean into with the slightly muffled old speaker sound god he sounds so good all the TIME his vocals are so clear when he hangs on the words "singing" and "myself" into the chorus PLS. also the bg vocal 'a t-t-t-touch too sentimental' is so gd CATCHY

speaking of the chorus oh my god the CHORUS. the desperate cry of "don't you miss me? / don't you want me around?" is so devastating and heartfelt head in HANDS also the lyrics . im so excited abt them i cannot put into words how !!!!!!!! they make me just. gestures helplessly

wishful thinking is all that’s holding me down lost on a blue moon i wish you were here right now

in chorus 2 especially the way the beat cuts out after "lost on a blue moon" n comes back after "I wish you were here"??? AUDIBLE SEROTONIN TO ME ((plus in the final chorus changing the "lost on a blue moon" to "not like you used to" ??????? OW ???????????? that had a lil kick that got me a bit.. , being stuck with ur own wishful thinking as a stand-in for the physical affection of the person u like,,, ....fushiguro touch starved megu- *is shot dead*)))

HOWEVER the absolute lyrical Backbone of this song is the fucking bridge. i knew it would be i heard the snippet ages ago and i was like holy shit these lyrics go hard what are they from only to b dismayed to find that whatever song they were from did not yet exist. but now it DOES and i can listen to the way the bridge sounds like lights dimming. like headlights passing through a hazy window. it sounds like clouds parting

nobody else in this life or next will ever have me the way that you do nothing in hell, heaven, earth, or the rest could ever take me away from you

THAT FUCKING EMOTIONAL BOMBSHELL against the original soft guitar from the intro drop the drums just reverb-y lyrics and background vocals and some of the most romantic fucking lyrics i've had the pleasure of reading let alone hearing one of my favourite artists sing.

i am going to once again fuse my fv brainrot with my megumi brainrot. realistically ik this is probably a missing your ex song but i do not care. this is a longing megumi song to me i dont CARE argue with a WALL (said to no one). the verses and chorus are pine-y and a bit snarky n very i like-like you and don't know what to do with how much i miss you. it's wry and frustrated n just tsundere enough but then u get to the bridge n there lies the sheer undying devotION god im unweLL this is all i'm going to listen to. this was worth waiting a year for if this is part of a new album they have in production im actually going to die

#hina.txt #fv posting #A TTTTOUCH TOO SENTIMENTAL #ok my incoherent thoughts are written out. i can now loop this in peace

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emily-mooon · 8 months

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NORDEGRIM HEADCANONS

I need to get my many thoughts for them sorted out so here’s one big post for those many random thoughts!

- They are both very good listeners and will listen to the other talk for hours on end about their day and their interests

- Stacey and Neil will play video games together and almost always Neil will win much to Stacey’s chagrin. She will then proceed to throw the controller (it’s canon that she’s a sore loser w/ video games)

- Stacey’s the big spoon while Neil’s the little spoon (despite the fact that hes taller than her)

- Stacey does all of the talking. She will tell the cashier at McDonald’s that Neil asked for no pickles

- Neil fell first, Stacey fell harder*

- Stacey will steal some of Neil’s shirts. He doesn’t mind (though the comic panel one is iffy territory as that’s his favourite)

- I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, they will share bracelets and make their own together

- if they get married they DONT have kids. I just can’t see them having any (same goes for like every other SP character tbh)

-In their first year of uni, they shared a creative writing class. It was a big class so that’s why they didn’t know each other before volume 6 (despite being in the same room way before that)

- I imagine in SPTO Scott’s future (not the one we see where he didn’t change and was going through divorce) that old Stacey and old Neil are like newlyweds and are the most insufferable people to be around. After they get married they are in the honeymoon phase forever

- Stacey is a power bottom argue with my brick wall. She’s a bottom but Neil is even more of a bottom than her

-Neil works part time at an EB games near Second Cup so before they started dating he would stop by before his shift and get like a coffee and hope that Stacey would be there. After they started dating if their shift times line up they will commute to work together

- Stacey got Neil into her 60s rock music. He will randomly hum ‘I’m A Believer’ by The Monkees and get annoyed when some asks if that’s smashmouth he’s humming to (that song I mentioned is a nordegrim song to me)

- SPTO Neil turned Stacey into a cinephile so now they are both talking about the movie Crash

- DORKS IN LOVE IS THEIR CAPITAL D DYNAMIC

- they hold hands a lot :3

- they propose to each other at the same time

- Stacey has cold hands, Neil has warm hands

-they cuddle no matter how hot it is

* the trope of “A fell first, B fell harder” is misunderstood a lot. It doesn’t mean that B loves A more than A loves B, it means that A slowly fell in love with B while B had a moment with A that made them realize how much they loved A. That’s just how I’ve seen it described and I’ve been in fandoms where ppl have misunderstood the trope sm that I just wanted to make this fact as clear as I could.

And that it!

Feel free to share some of your own headcanons if you have any with me cause I would love to hear them! Make a comment on this post or send me an ask and I’ll do my best to answer them as fast as I can :]

Oh and also:

Hope you enjoyed my little headcanons!

#I’m sooooooo normal about them #gotta love how crusty that meme I made is #it adds character #also rip eb games I miss you :’]#you will be in my heart 5ever </3 #looking at it they are all over the place but hey I have brainrot for them and they just gives me a way to get my ideas out for them #scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim comic #scott pilgram takes off #stacey pilgrim #neil nordegraf #young neil #nordegrim #stacey pilgrim x neil nordegraf #emilys headcanons #long post #rarepair #<-#I should probably add this tag cause oh boy my pookies are a rarepair

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boba-beom · 2 years

Text

ᥫ᭡⋆｡˚⊹ I Like U (sorry, I never meant to) | part 1 — 'don't drop her!'

pairing: beomgyu x gn!reader

genre: fluff, romance | non-idol au, strangers to friends to ???

synopsis: after meeting one of your best friend’s friends, you initially found him attractive and thought he’d be a careless crush that would soon dissipate into nothing. that is, until a series of events proved you wrong and perhaps those feelings lingered longer than they should have. would something become of it?

warning(s): slice of life, slow burn(ish), mentions of food, physical affection, bickering, more mentions of star signs, I will try my best to make it as gender neutral as possible as some parts are based off from my perspective. if there's anything I've missed, let me know!

wc: 3.2k

a/n: this celebration I am referring to is very big in the filipino culture. it's called a philippine 'debut' (deh-boo). it's to celebrate one who is coming of age, entering adulthood as a young woman.

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5 months have passed since your first interaction with Beomgyu. however, it was not the last time you had interacted. after you accepted his follow request and followed him back on instagram, you've been going back and forth liking each other's stories, recommending songs and sharing playlists with each other after you found out he also listens to the same niche artist as you. you may have overreacted, but none of your friends knew the artist until you saw his story with your favourite song posted to it.

to think that this happened over the course of the summer vacation, you were almost unfazed that you would be meeting him again for Tara's birthday. almost. you were extremely excited to visit the island again, after discussing Tara's 18th birthday celebrations, along with receiving her invitations through the post. you told yourself that all thoughts unrelated to Tara's birthday were to be pushed to the back of your head, making sure that this was going to be unforgettable and you wanted to prioritise that.

Tara has always been one to be interested in star-gazing, knowing things about star signs; whether she can guess people's star signs based off of their personality traits, or even upon first or second meeting.

you recall the facetime call you had with your best friend just a couple of days before your trip to the island. she had asked a huge favour from you — which was to help with the decorations. after knowing Tara for more than half of your life you know that they will go above and beyond when it comes to celebrations. be it weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, seasonal holidays; her and her family will do the most and it's their branding at this point.

now that you're back on the island again, you've missed everything about it. the greenery of the fields, trees arching over roads creating beautiful tunnels by nature, the fact that your best friend lives by the beach and how beautiful it would be to watch the sunrise and set with the sound of the waves rolling over the shell beach.

"hey, we've got guests coming over just after lunch. we can decorate later this evening, is that okay with you?" Tara wraps her arms around your shoulders, interrupting your gaze on your phone from the pictures of the sunrise you took earlier that morning.

"yeah that's no problem, need me to help you with anything?" you tilt your head to nudge her temple, responding to her affectionate gesture.

"actually, could you just finish the rest of those centre pieces, please?" you hum in response, "oh, and I heard Beomgyu's going to be on his way soon." she shrugs, walking out of the living room to call her other friends to discuss the time for cotillion practice.

Beomgyu. it's been a while since you've seen the name, let alone hear it. you wonder if it'll be a little awkward seeming as the last time you spoke was mid summer. there's not a lot you know about this guy, really, other than the fact that his texts are completely opposite to how he is in person; pretty dry.

pushing those thoughts aside, you pick up the glue gun and start gluing a small assortment of three to four blue and yellow roses in the small glass, cylindrical centre pieces. each centre piece had table numbers handwritten in pretty cursive handwriting, remembering that it must have been by one of Tara's friends.

each cylinder had mini battery-operated fairy lights, pulling the vision together. though there were several elements left for the remaining decorations. the completed ones were starting to look really pretty altogether.

you gather the completed centre pieces and place them in a brown cardboard box, ready for the next batch until you hear the familiar tone of Tara's voice greeting someone by the front door.

"hey Beomgyu, you're super early." you hear her laugh, "y/n's inside, you remember them, right?"

"of course." he says, walking in and making brief eye contact with you sitting on the carpeted floor.

your eyes widen slightly, brows raised and unexpected to meet him again. his hair has started to grow a little longer compared to the last time you saw him. the front pieces of his hair just about grazing his brows, and the back just touching the bottom of his nape.

"y/n?" he calls out, snapping you out of whatever it was that you were stuck in momentarily, "I asked if you need any help?" now he's sitting in the armchair by the window.

"oh. no I'm good, almost done anyway. Thank you though." you politely smile up at him, watching him take his phone out of his pocket and turning it on.

"suit it yourself." he shrugs nonchalantly, his eyes leaving yours and onto his phone's screen. you scoff a little, ignoring his response.

it was silent in the living room for almost an hour, just the occasional mini conversations between you and Tara, or Tara and Beomgyu talking about certain points of the cotillion. they were partners after all.

once you've finished with the remaining smaller decorations, you stand up to stretch before walking over to start the final decoration — Tara's name decor — which was to be placed by the display near the front inside the venue. it was her first name along with her middle name, and although they weren't long, you were aware that the process would be. having to sketch out her name in cursive, then to paint it in gold and to glue gold glitter all over it.

Beomgyu, on the other hand, started the large '18' cardboard cutout with collage photos of Tara from the photoshoot that she took a couple of months back. the pictures were beautiful, especially the few from the beach. she was standing where the mini waves were just touching her feet while she was wearing a long, black chiffon-layered dress with a spaghetti-strap. the sunset in the background created a pretty silhouette with the layers of the chiffon dress blown in the wind, and you were then starting to realise that your best friend is about to be a young woman. the thought of that was almost enough to make you emotional. almost. there's still two more days until the big day.

you start on the sketching, outlining the letters on the A1 styrofoam board, until you hear Beomgyu playing some songs from what you thought was the playlist he recommended to you. you pause for a second or two, trying to figure out which song it was and it was one of the first songs that you recommended to him months ago. smiling to yourself, you assume he compiled songs from both playlists and created a new one after listening further in the playlist.

"Beomgyu, y/n, I need you here." Tara calls after you both, her brows are scrunched up and eyes narrowed at the screen of her laptop as she watches a cotillion choreography that she's inspired from.

the sandy, blonde-haired male looks over at you, his head tilting towards Tara, essentially letting you get up and go to her first. he follows after, trailing a little behind you as you take the seat beside Tara while Beomgyu stays standing behind the both of you, just about leaning over your head.

"okay so," she starts, "I'm thinking of adding an extra move, but it's just at the very end." you watch the video as she presses play and observe the way the debutant's partner gave her a few twirls before preparing to lift her by the hip, then doing half a turn while the debutant was lifted.

you notice the way Tara pouts as she pauses the video and looks over to you and Beomgyu. your brows almost knit together, thinking that it would add a nice touch to the end of the cotillion, but realistically this was all in Beomgyu's hands. literally.

"personally, I think it would look really nice. and I know for a fact that your dress is going to look beautiful during that turn." you replay the video as the three of you rewatch it and notice the way the debutant's dress flows slightly in the air, almost in slow motion. it also reminds you of that one picture from the photoshoot and you were so sure that they'd regret it if they don't try it out.

"I don't know. the debut is in two days and tomorrow we're literally going to be spending the day to decorate the venue, and then—"

"Beomgyu, calm down, you haven't even tried it yet." you turn around and look up at him rolling his eyes at you. "try it out before the rest arrives for practice."

"y/n, are you being for real right now?" his lips twist, he's not convinced just yet, you think.

"come onnnn, Beomgyu try it out~" you sing song, "for Tara." you put your arm over your best friend's shoulders, bringing her in closer while she pouts at him.

it's always hard for Beomgyu to turn Tara down for anything. you'd think their relationship is pretty tight, but as they grew up together and being only two years apart they have that sibling energy about them. Tara is Beomgyu's weak spot, and this is the first time you've witnessed it.

"okay, fine." he sighs, defeated, but you see him smile over to Tara while ruffling the top of her head. you had no clue that you had been staring at the interaction between them for a second too long until Beomgyu calls out your name again. "you need to make sure I do it properly, I'm doing this for Tara." his voice was a little stern towards you, but it didn't bother you too much. he sounded quite defensive over the fact that he isn't doing this because you convinced him to, but you knew that that was exactly the reason why.

Tara makes her way out the back door into the garden, it was big enough to fit six pairings for the cotillion. to your surprise, she's only just told you that they have been practicing for three weeks and they only managed to remember everything the week that had just passed.

you sit on the stool by the door, facing the garden as you wait for the two to get into position for the ending of the cotillion. the pair face each other for a couple of seconds before Beomgyu twirls Tara twice, preparing for the lift. he lifts her hip onto the side of his leg, attempting to pivot in place for the turn with the other leg, but they stumble a little and Beomgyu lets go of Tara. you stand up as quick as you can to catch Tara from tripping forward and falling over.

"don't drop her!" you shout at Beomgyu. he looks at you with bland eyes, deadpan towards you.

"well, this was your idea, right?" he huffs. "I'd like to see you try."

"am I her partner?" you retort, your hands still holding onto Tara's forearm while she stands properly.

"guys, it's fine. Beomgyu, let's try again." Tara looks directly into your eyes and then Beomgyu after, her way of getting the both of you to stop arguing.

after a few attempts of the ending routine, it eventually got better to the point Tara wanted to try it out along with the music to make sure they get the timing right. you also suggest to take a video so they can review it after and they both agree. your index finger hovers over the space bar, patiently waiting for Tara to indicate when to press play.

you watch them do the routine once more until the crucial part came about, "okay, and now!" you shout as soon as the music reaches the part where the lift starts.

you watch beomgyu lift Tara steadily with a clean landing — no stumbling over or minor trips in sight. the music fades as it ends and you end the video before applauding them while you make your way toward them.

"see, I knew you could do it." you nudge Beomgyu, passing him the phone and notice the corners of his lips twitch upwards as he watches the successful move.

Tara's pleased to say the least, looking over at the phone at the same time and giving you the biggest smile.

"I know I'm terrible at thinking of things and adding things last minute, but I think that was one of my best ideas." she crosses her arms, proud of the decision she made regardless of the trouble it caused, especially between you and Beomgyu.

"yeah, you're lucky your partner was eventually convinced to do it." you tease.

"okay, okay. I get it. at least we've got that sorted out now." Beomgyu sighs, not amused with you repeating how you were right.

after heading back inside the house, you check the time and it's still early for the rest of Tara's friends to arrive for the practice. thinking of getting food before they arrive was the best idea, but Tara was called to have a dress rehearsal in case of any more altering. so it was down to you and Beomgyu to go and get food.

༺ ༻

you were grateful that the weather was good for a nice walk; the air was mildly warm with the smallest bit of breeze blown through your hair every now and then.

following Beomgyu in silence wasn't as bad as you thought. he walks in front of you, and you notice the wire of his white earphones dangling out of his pocket while he had the other in his ear.

"what song are you listening to?" you spoke up a little quieter than you expected. luckily you were just around the corner to the pizza shop, so you both stop once you cross the narrow, one way road.

"over eighty-five." he glances at you, holding eye contact for what felt like a minute to you and turns around to walk into the pizza shop.

he left you dumbfounded, remembering that that was the song that started the whole exchanging songs ordeal. you mindlessly blink at the shop front a couple of times before following suit, waiting behind him as he orders four boxes of pizzas for the group later on.

his voice is gentle when he talks to the owner of the shop. there's a lot of people in this part of the island, and everyone knows each other, if not, know of each other.

the way they exchange in conversation seems like he comes here often, the middle-aged man laughs at a bit and you see how endearing it was to see the interaction.

nevertheless, you had to set aside that it could potentially be the fact that the leo in Beomgyu is loving the attention, or it could even just be the big heart in him. either way, quietly observing them kept you entertained until he walked toward you, waiting beside you.

"Beomgyu?" your voice a little louder this time compared to earlier. he turns his head towards you, raising his brow with a hum. he isn't as firm as he was earlier, and he could physically see your shoulders relax in the smallest way possible. "can we go see that coffee shop that we walked past on the way here?"

to his surprise, that was not what he was expecting. he can sense that you've been tip-toeing around him since he arrived at Tara's house, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like you.

"yeah, we can do. we'll take the shortcut there, it'll be quicker on the way back too." he flashes you the same gentle smile he gave you the first time you met, and you notice a small dimple that disappeared not even in a fraction of a second. kinda cute.

༺ ༻

as soon as the pizzas were ready, the shop owner bids the both of you goodbye with a polite smile. you and Beomgyu split the pizza boxes to carry them back while you take up a different route, again, leaving it up to the island boy.

"how long are you staying this time anyway?" he asks you, half turning his head to face you but also making sure he watches where he's walking.

"oh, we're leaving the day after Tara's birthday. so not long, really." you reply with a shrug that he wasn't able to see anyway. you had hoped to stay longer than last time, but it was just about the same amount of days.

"I see." you almost miss his response with his quiet voice, along with a car that had driven past the both of you. but you wonder why he asked, though you knew he was probably curious like the others.

"is Soobin coming for the cotillion practice?" you remembered Soobin abruptly, he was more approachable compared to Beomgyu from the first time you met, and you remember everything clearly.

"yeah." there he is with the short responses again. you almost thought you had somewhat managed to get through to him, but it's going to be tricky with someone like him. you can't read him just yet and you're curious whether it's the same for everyone or it's just a 'you thing'.

after walking for a few more silent minutes, you see the cute, rustic coffee shop that caught your eye from earlier. this time, you were able to scan through the menu that's hung up outside on a brown clip board, reading out the set menu and the coffee of the day.

you balance the piled pizza boxes on your hip as you take your phone out to take a quick photo. Beomgyu doesn't hesitate to take the boxes from your hold and pile it on top of his.

your brows raise from the action, looking up at him with a smile followed after. "oh, thanks."

"just so the pizza won't fall. we have people to feed." his response was blunt but you still thanked him for the gesture. he faces to the side while he waits for you to finish taking your pictures, but you couldn't ignore the way the sun shines over him and some shadows from the lamppost lay over him.

you love taking photos in general. some say you're talented and you should be a photographer, but you just find it as a hobby and you don't want to take that fun aspect away.

finding a photogenic subject with a beautiful background was not easy to find, until you turn around to see exactly that. you had no second thoughts to take a picture or two of Beomgyu's side profile — to which you were extremely fascinated by — only capturing from his shoulders and up.

"let's go? I think they'll be there soon." Beomgyu speaks up, eyes meeting the sight of you holding your phone up and facing him, causing you to swiftly tuck your phone back into your pocket and reach out for the two boxes that Beomgyu took from you.

he turns quickly, so you miss and briefly grab nothing but the air where you were initially reaching out for.

"it's okay. I got it." is all he says before he continues walking in the direction of a different shortcut. a smile is twitching upon his lips as he senses you trailing behind him in confusion. if there's something you didn't know about him, it's that he's extremely observant, and his peripheral vision never fails him.

taglist: @bb-eilish @iggynor4 @ericyjun @bluejin0812 @luvsoobs @yeonyeonyeonjun @junniieesbby @kyrkitten @hyuntaena @day6andetcetera @amethysts-1620 @gorechoi-backup @dainsleif-when-playable @choiwrld @yjusei @feyregels @ahnneyong @potaeto-writes-on-wp @wccycc @lizdevorak @fairybin @laylasbunbunny @acaiasahi @ttyunz @cha0thicpisces @fairybinie @vatterie @yunkiwii @aprilisque @baekberrie @ashxxkook (let me know if you want to be added to this series taglist or fill this form to be part of the general taglist!)

#hybenet #kflixnet #beomgyu series #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu x gn reader #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu scenarios #txt series #txt scenarios #txt imagines #txt x gn reader #tomorrow x together fluff #tomorrow x together series #tomorrow x together scenarios #tomorrow x together imagines #tomorrow x together x gn reader

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