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fountainpenguin · 5 months ago

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"Though we both know one day there'll be blood on the floor... but which one will betray the other more?" (x)

New Fairly OddParents 'fic today!

Rated T - 6,900 words

50 Words of Dale and Vicky

📖 Read on FFN || Read on AO3

🌃 City Lights AU

✨ More Fairly OddParents 'fics

🎲 Randomlists.com's 50-word generator

50 scene snippets about two inseparable BFFs and a string of bad decisions. Predates lemon pit torture.

OR, Dale and Vicky were friends when they were kids.

(First 5 prompts under the cut)

50 Words of Dale and Vicky Friday August 14th, 1992 - Friday April 14th, 1995 Summer of the Pink Star - Spring of the Small Sunflower

1. Balance

Even Dad raised an eyebrow at the redhead who took the mutton bustin' like a piece of sticky tape. The sheep charged through the Dimmsdale Dimmadome's mucky arena, the girl thumping up and down on its back. With every second she clung, the crowd surged higher and higher with excitement- cheering already! Did she sew her sleeves to its wool or something? 6-year-old Dale, safe behind the chute fence, braced his arms a little straighter; craned his neck a little higher.

"Whoa… She's cruisin' like a roadrunner."

One flump of a small body later, the little girl went tumbling through the muck. But she won, of course (and scored the traditional belt buckle emblem plus a set of 4 family tickets to Wave 'N Rage to prove it). The girl cheered into Dad's microphone and jumped up and down. Watching some black-haired woman and a redheaded guy (who must be her two parents) fawn over her, Dale had to wonder… if she had any siblings.

That was wicked…

Her name was Vicky Aingeal. And he was about to be the best friend she never asked for.

2. Cattle

The next time he saw her, it was at the state fair. The scruffy scarlet ponytail hadn't changed. She wolfed down a funnel cake at a table, her parents to either side (and sharing their own). Powdered sugar smeared her lips and fingers. That stuff had to be so greasy… but it looked delicious. Dale, who had already been a Bright Young Man and a Very Well-Behaved Good Boy (semi-interchangeably) for the past 5 minutes while his dad talked about cows and bovine and steer and heifers with Mr. So-'N-So (Cue laughter; they were friends), decided he'd finished standing in the hot sun, bouncing on his toes. He darted his gaze between Vicky and the back of his dad's head. Another 20 seconds flickered by. This time, Dale's stomach even growled. And if that wasn't a sign, what was?

"Dad-"

Dad didn't stop talking, but he did move his hand to Dale's shoulder and gave a quiet squeeze. Not now, said the gesture, so Dale went quiet. He played with the big brim of his hat, staring at Vicky and her funnel cake until she stopped eating and raised her head. Their eyes flicked across each other. Dale jumped and glanced away. Back to the cattle. The Dimmadomes showed fat and healthy cows every year at… the cow-showing event. "Open dairy," Dad called it with his friends (SO awesome; all fancy). Dale never remembered the name except this time of year, but he definitely knew cows.

"Dad," Dale tried again. But dad kept talking, squeezing his arm again, so Dale went quiet for real and softly picked at his nose. The grown-ups talked cows, milk, and hormones… And when that all wrapped up, Doug scooped him up and set him on his hip in one shwoop.

"Now, what's all the fuss, son? What's got your knickknack paddy whacking?"

"Dad, I want a funnel cake."

Doug Dimmadome (owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome) threw an unreadable glance at the table where Vicky and her parents ate. It might've been unreadable because Dale was only 6. "Too risky, kiddo. It's probably got dairy. Now come on, son- You wanna lead the herd with me?"

3. Instrument

"Huh," was the first thing Vicky said when she came across the refrigerated butter sculpture. Seriously? Three giant cows playing in a band? "Pretty weird." It was a huge amount of butter and that was kinda impressive all in all, but… did it serve any purpose? It wouldn't last. Who would want to keep that thing cold for months? Even winter wouldn't get cold enough to not melt it. She looked for a price tag, a card- anything that indicated it might be for sale. Was this thing just donated? Free of charge? I wouldn't want it either, but that feels like a waste. I'm sure SOMEONE would buy it. Some kind of stupid, rich…

She was still there, leaning so close to the clear case, her nose could've touched the nearest instrument, when someone tapped her shoulder. She yelped, hit the case (with her face), and spun around. "Who-? … Oh." That weird kid who'd been staring at her while she ate lunch. When Vicky blinked at him, he pushed the brim of his big hat up with one thumb. He even smiled.

"I saw you at the mutton bustin'."

"The what?"

"You rode the sheep? Most people don't stay on that long."

"Oh, yeah. That sheep was a loser."

The kid blinked, like he actually cared about some random sheep's feelings or something. Honestly, with a name like mutton bustin', whoever was in charge of that thing probably cooked it up and ate it by now. "Well," said the kid, pretty slow on the word. He put out his hand. "I'm Dale… Donovan. And you're Vicky, right?"

"Uh, are you following me?"

4. Sheet

He showed her the chicken tent, the pigs, and the cattle (with their parents trailing behind, of course- Dad had a lot of business to talk and Vicky's parents didn't seem to mind he was there, even if Vicky still gave him weird sideways looks like she couldn't decide just what to make of him). But little by little… those shoulders that looked like tall fenceposts started coming down like a gate sinking underwater.

Then he showed her something super interesting over her shoulder while he tore down the sheet with the name Dimmadome scrawled across it. Look… Is it so wrong to want a friend who likes you without asking about your dad getting rich?

He ignored the confused looks the cows shot him as he bunched the paper in his hand.

5. Resonant

Y'know what? There was something REALLY funny about watching the awkward kid jump about 10 feet in the air (skeleton practically leaping from his skin) when a piercing whistle carried through the air.

"Th-that's my dad," Dale stuttered. "I have to go. Um. 'Bye."

Huh. So, did he not like to add the 'good' in 'good-bye' either? Maybe he's more self-aware of the crushing weight of existence than I thought. Not the worst quality in a friend.

Read on FFN || Read on AO3

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musicalhell · 3 months ago

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Hey, Diva. As someone who is starting a youtube channel, do you have any advice about how to record and edit audio like you do with your videos? Thanks!!!

Sure thing!

1.) First, you need to have the right tools, which means thinking about how much you are willing/able to invest in this project. At the very least I recommend purchasing a good microphone (you can find some models under $50 that will work well; I wouldn't go over $100 unless you're investing in professional work) so you can get a clean recording. There are lots of open source recording and editing programs out there--I use Audacity because it's pretty simple to figure out and has a lot of good tools for cleanup/effects, but play around with a few to decide what works best for you.

2.) Have an idea of what you're going to say. It doesn't have to be fully scripted (though my stuff usually is, just because I find it easiest to put thoughts into writing first), but having a blueprint of where you want to go will spare you a lot of stammering and rambling.

3.) Unless you're doing something like a livestream or reaction video, I would break up what you want to say into chunks and record them one at a time. This allows you to go back and check regularly to make sure your audio is clean, and you can cut/add/move stuff around with greater ease.

4.) Practice, have fun, and learn from your mistakes!

Hope that helps. Good luck!

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wrestler-smash-or-pass · 1 year ago

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Weekly Wrapup 3/3/24 (late!)

This Week's Rankings:

Hangman Adam Page (Mustache) - 70.7% smash

Drilla Moloney - 70.7%

Kagetsu - 66.7%

Randy Orton - 62.3%

Alex Coughlin - 61.3%

Amir Jordan - 60.2%

Shane Haste - 59.0%

Rocky Romero - 58.4%

Tetsuya Naito - 54.1%

Tony Nese - 51.4%

Al Snow - 47.3%

Eve Torres - 47.1%

Julius Creed - 27.9%

Kevin Sullivan - 13.1%

Average smash rating this week: 53.6%

More stats under the cut, along with my observations, commentary, and some of my favorite tags...

Most total votes this week (most enthusiasm)

Hangman Adam Page - 529 votes

Alex Coughlin - 279

Drilla Moloney - 246

Rocky Romero - 245

Randy Orton - 236

And least total votes this week (least enthusiasm)

Kevin Sullivan - 153 votes

Amir Jordan - 166

Eve Torres - 174

Julius Creed - 201

Tony Nese - 218

The closest poll was Tony Nese, who won 112-106

Top Ten Overall

Kris Statlander - 91% smash

Athena - 90.2% smash

Hikaru Shida - 89.7% smash

Minoru Suzuki (Young Variant) - 88.7% smash

Swerve Strickland - 88.3% smash

Toni Storm - 88.1% smash

Hiroshi Tanahashi - 87.7% smash

Hangman Adam Page - 86.4% smash

Bianca Belair - 86.4% smash

Hikuleo - 86.0% smash

Bottom Ten Overall

Vince McMahon - 3.9% smash

Ric Flair - 4.6% smash

Kane (Corporate variant) - 10.1% smash

Miracle Violence Connection - 11.8% smash

Gene Munny - 12.4% smash

Spike Trivet - 12.% smash

Kevin Sullivan - 13.1% smash

Triple H (Terra Ryzing variant) - 18.6% smash

Eric Bischoff (NWO) - 20.0% smash

Charlie Dempsey - 22.1% smash

Top Women Overall

Kris Statlander - 91% smash

Athena - 90.2% smash

Hikaru Shida - 89.7% smash

Toni Storm - 88.1% smash

Bianca Belair - 86.4% smash

Bottom Women Overall

Eve Torres - 47.1% smash

Carmella - 47.8% smash

Nikkita Lyons - 48.2% smash

Julia Hart (Cheerleader Variant) - 49.8% smash

Kelly Kelly - 50.3% smash

Top Men Overall

Minoru Suzuki (Young Variant) - 88.7% smash

Swerve Strickland - 88.3% smash

Hiroshi Tanahashi - 87.7% smash

Hangman Adam Page - 86.4% smash

Hikuleo - 86.0% smash

Top Tag Teams

The Golden Lovers - 80.4% smash

Best Friends - 66.7% smash

Motor City Machine Guns - 65.5% smash

Roppongi Vice - 62.7% smash

Young Bucks - 43.8% smash

Mustachioed Hangman took the No. 2 spot for most total votes, with 529 votes cast. However, there was a 13.6 point drop in his smashability when the mustache is taken into account. He scored 86.4% smash for his previous poll, with 386 smash votes. With the mustache, he scored 70.7% smash, with 374 smash votes. I thought he'd do better, given how popular mustaches seem to be overall, but maybe the mustache fans are just a small, vocal minority.

Eve Torres had the misfortune of being the least smashable woman overall. She was the fourth woman to score less than 50%.

We can now add Rocky Romero to the rankings for Best Friends and Friends:

Kris Statlander - 91.0% smash

Orange Cassidy - 77.1% smash

Danhausen - 68.8% smash

Chuck Taylor - 66.2% smash

Trent Beretta - 61.3% smash

Rocky Romero - 58.4% smash

And for their tag teams, we have

Best Friends (Chuck and Trent): 66.7% smash

Roppongi Vice (Trent and Rocky): 62.7% smash

In other news, I'm starting to add Cagematch rankings to the results spreadsheet (reminder, that exists here: Google Docs). I plan to eventually make some silly charts involving those ratings, like smashability vs. Cagematch rating.

And now for some of my favorite tags and comment

@tetsuya-taito on Julius Creed: #he looks like he rubs the inner thigh and asks if you like that

@mancewarner on Julius Creed: #he does unfortunately look like hed call me a slur though so id hit it and ghost

@mancewarner on Shane Haste: #just watched an insiderz stream where he was chugging coke and burping extremely loudly into the microphone. that being said yes id smash

@sanguinaryrot on Kagetsu: #uhhhhh yeah I stand for the troops (transgender professional wrestlers)

@dykecassidy on Hangman with a Mustache: #everyone stop clicking smash i wanna be the only one please let me be alone with this hangman

@theunprettier on Drilla Moloney: #i wanna get tangled up in his body hair and die like a fish caught in ocean debris

Honorable mention to the MANY people who tagged the Hangman poll with some variation on "save a horse ride a cowboy"

#weekly wrap up

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notinthislife50 · 2 years ago

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Chapter 12

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

It was con season. you lived for this. It was your favorite time of the year, listening to fans and getting to know them. It was amazing.

You, Misha, and Ruth were walking around backstage you had become so engrossed in a story you were telling when you smacked, banged into a man in front of you. As you looked up to apologise, Tom Hiddleston stood before you.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry I was too busy talking and I wasn’t paying attention, I’m so sorry” you blabbered.

Tom smiled at you and you swore you died.

“No harm done Y/n, though I’ll have to hear that story sometime, sounds intriguing,” he laughed walking away.

You stood for a minute squeezing Misha's arm.

“Earth to y/n Squeezing a bit hard there,” he smiled at you.

“Did that just happen, Misha? Please tell me that just happened,” you squeaked.

Misha looked at Ruth and smirked “Y/n is in love with Tom Hiddleston, she’s gonna marry him someday and have his babies.”

“You know it,” you punched Misha in the arm. “I need to tell Jared” you screamed and ran off.

As you came backstage to where your panel was going to be held, you screamed Jared’s name.

“What happened?” Jared looked concerned.

When you saw Jensen beside him you hesitated and whispered ”You know what it’s fine, just bumped into someone and wanted to tell you,” you said not sure if he was ready for that part of your life.

“Hey,” Jensen grabbed your arm to stop you from walking away “Please tell us. If you can’t tell your best friends who you just stalked then who can you tell.” He laughed, but you caught the pleading under it.

You smiled. This was the Jensen you missed. And you knew he was offering you an olive branch, so you bit the bullet and you being you in your most dramatic voice ever you told them how you just bumped into the Tom Hiddleston and how he was sex on legs, and you would let that man do unspeakable things to you.

The boys laughed at how star-struck you were. They knew how much you loved Marvel. And Loki was your favorite character.

“Oh my god, I need to tell Mark” you squealed Squeezing Jensen's arms and hugging him, and then you ran off.

Jensen couldn’t help but smile after that squeeze.

“She never gives up on you man, she loves you " Jared smiled “You never lost her she just wanted to give you your space.”

Jensen sighed “I know” and then he smiled at Jared “I have an idea!”

You had all been seated for your panel, this time you took your seat between the boys. the original seat you had in the beginning, it felt great to be here, it was where you all started off. Jared, you, and Jensen. and you beamed as you sat between them, it was like everything was getting back to normal.

Everyone was answering questions from the audience and you felt yourself getting overwhelmed. You hated the fact you weren’t confident and that you always questioned yourself when talking to fans. Did they really like you or did they just feel sorry for you as you were stuck between these two strong handsome characters?

You pulled on a bit of string you found in your pocket. Trying to not show your emotions. But you had blocked out all the noise. At one point you looked at your hand while you were tying the string and had zoned out. Then you heard “My question is for Y/n” and then you heard the screams and felt Jensen squeeze your arm.

Your head shot up and you saw Tom Hiddleston standing at the microphone.

You were speechless for a few seconds and then you held your finger out smiled and mouthed "One second, please."

You took out your wallet and took out 50 dollars and walked over to Rob and slammed it down in front of him. He and Richard screamed in laughter as did the rest of the cast.

Jensen saw Tom look confused. “Sorry man, but Y/n has a swear jar on set, and every time she curses she has to put 5 dollars into the jar. So I’m guessing she has a lot to say.” He laughed.

As you looked at Jensen you asked “Did you set this up?”

And he just shrugged smiling.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," you whispered but your mic picked up everything. You breathed in and your demeanor changed. you sat up straight and looked at Tom and took a breath. “Of course, what’s your name sir," you smiled hoping he’d play the game. God please play the game you willed.

“I’m Tom” He played the game back smirking.

“Nice to meet you Tom, and are you enjoying comic com?” you asked.

“Very much so, ” he smiled.

“And are you here by yourself or did you bring some friends?” You asked.

“I came with friends," Tom pointed to the back of the room.

You sat in silence for a moment looking at the Marvel cast in front of you and begged yourself to be cool.

“Well hello, Tom’s friends are you all having a good time?"

And they all nodded and laughed.

So what's your question, Tom?” You nodded to him.

“So obviously Y/c/n is a good soul, she saves people on a daily basis, but do you think if she ever met Loki could he make her kneel?"

“Oh absolutely," you grinned.

“What?” Jensen asked "Y/n I am appalled" he mocked hurt that you answered that so quickly.

“I mean have you seen the guy in chains? 100 percent sure she would kneel, Right?" you asked the audience and they laughed and agreed with you.

When the panel ended you were on such a high. When you were all off the stage you rushed Jensen and hugged him tightly.

“Best day of my life," you smiled “Thank you but you owe me now,”

“That’s not good,” he laughed “What do you have in mind?”

As you explained your plan Jensen thought it was hilarious. “Let’s get this done," he kissed your head and you closed your eyes smiling hoping your best friend was coming back to you.

Meanwhile, at the Marvel panel, it was the now-the-Q&A part.

You approached the mic nervously and said "My question is for Tom."

The crowd reputed and you smirked up at him.

He smiled down at you and you swear your legs near give way. You looked and Jensen nervously and he nodded in reassurance.

“What's your name” Tom copied you from before.

"Y/n " you answered into the mic.

“And are you enjoying comic con?” Again shadowing your questions from before.

“Very much so,” you smiled back.

"And are you here with anyone?” Again mimicking you from before.

“Just a few friends” you motioned to where the supernatural cast stood.

The crowd screamed in delight.

“And are you dressed in anyone in particular?” He questioned.

“Oh yes. I’m dressed as a hunter from supernatural,” you replied “Plaid shirts are a must on the show." You spread your arms twirling to show off your own shirt.

“A hunter?” Tom questioned “And what exactly do you hunt?”

“Oh you know, ghosts werewolves angels, demons even a god now and then,” You smirked at him tweaking your eyebrow.

“No human could kill a god," Tom stated in his Loki voice.

“Ah well, you haven’t met Y/c/n” you casually said trying to keep your cool.

“So what's your question?” Tom asked.

“Who do you think would win a fight between Loki and Y/n"

" Loki definitely, yes” Tom smiled confidently.

“And why is that?” you tilted your head

“Well, he is far more superior than mere mortals, and plus I hear he looks great in chains,” he laughed.

After you asked your question and walked to the back, you all stood watching the end of the panel. One of the workers approached saying the Marvel cast would love you to come up on stage and do some photos, would that be okay?

“Of course,“ you all agreed

So the Marvel and supernatural cast stood together on stage taking various photos for the guests and with the guests.

You were with Tom. You thought it was because people were enjoying the interaction with you two.

After all the photos and questions Tom approached you and hugged you. " You know I think the god and the hunter should go for dinner.” he smiled.

Your breath caught in your throat for a few seconds and you tried to think of the perfect response.

“I think so too, I mean you what they say about holding your enemies close.” you smiled knowingly.

“Do you mean to keep your enemies closer? " He raised an eyebrow

“I know what I said.' you laughed

You and Tom had exchanged numbers and began dating shortly ever.

@deans-spinster-witch @fraidoftedark

#jensen ackles supernatural #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles imagine #jensen ackles smut #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles x y/n #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x you #supernatural fanfic #supernatural #supernatural x you #supernatural x y/n #supernatural x reader

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lightleckrereins · 5 months ago

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I just submited the fixed version for review so errors ask roundup.

Everything except the microphone thing should be working. I need to figure out a way to make the mics work without adding 50 extra layers (but also most of the skirts would cover it anyway).

The things that literally everyone caught from the start: the missing dark green boleyn sleeves and the issue with the silver boleyn skirt. I make all the art in paint tool sai and that has a really low layer limit, so I have about 30 files for the costumes alone. Original split was either by costume or by type of thing so I could copy things faster. Problem is that this round I had to split some of those because the layer count filled up and ended up missing one. Specifically the one with dark green boleyn sleeves and updated alt boleyn sleeves so all that is now sorted out. With the skirt I just reused the usual linework that matches the top line of the silver top waistband but not the bottom one so the tabs emded up being a little too high.

Silver cleves jackets were indeed missing and are now back, green color for the Lucy boleyn top is fixed too.

The underlayer issue is now fixed. The big dot in the top and bottom menus is the underwear. Just roll with it. Thats the best way to solve things atm. But I have a plan for underwear in the future so it stops showing under the leotard.

And now everyone say thank you @redladydeath who has basically been the unnoficial error finder since the start.

With wigs and crowns. Everyone caught the spacebuns thing too. Someone (me) forgot those needed to split into two layers. Basically. The spacebuns can be split into three. Super far back in the early WE days, back but still on top, and super close to the front. So far I only had the back ones so this round adds the other two. Middle placement cheats by having the crown in front, and front is a new one (and new spacebuns) but some layering magic needs to happen for it to work properly.

And yes I forgot to split jasmine's hair so it appears in front of the crown. Thats fixed now. Same with a few of the ponytails/braids that had some colors messed up. Plus a layering error with the SK and darcy A hair and the Cassie C hair covering the ears.

#six dressup game

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janitor-figure-a · 2 years ago

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Art's experimental recording session, the beautiful starbucks parking lot pictured

transcript under the cut

Jack: i don’t like, godspeed

Art: yeah uh huh

Jack: fight for what is good and right, we will be looking out for you fifty percent of the time and 50% of the time we’ll be trying to make you lives miserable in ways we haven’t worked out yet

Dre: mmhmm!

Art: yeah and I'll be doing that on a real microphone and not a phone in a starbucks parking lot

Dre: awwww

Ali: giggles

Jack: why are you in a starbucks parking lot

Austin (overlapping): is Jess in the car with you? What's going on?

Art: no Jess had to go get Mable and Mable’s dog sitter lives where there's no cell service so she just dropped me in the parking lot and went to go get the dog

Austin: wait, are you in a car??

Art: no i'm just standing here

Austin: you're just outside…can you take a picture?

(overlapping) Mixed laughter

Jack: have you got your phone to your ear?

Art: no i'm wearing headphones, cos i was in the car

Austin: can you take a photo of the most palisade thing you can find that isn't a palisade vehicle

Janine: can you go get a cakepop and then eat it

Ali: ooooooooooh

Art: uuuuuuuuum, i dont… no…

Austin: hey everybody welcome to friends at the table our new game this season is tell art things to do in the parking lot of a starbucks

Dre: can you take a selfie and that's our new podcast cover art

Keith: it makes sense your outside because when you first joined the call you said is there any outside noises and i thought that meant you were driving and you didn't want like ambient car driving noises

Austin: (overlapping) right, same

Janine: don’t podcast while driving that's worse

Art: oh no i was in the car for most of the time we've been talking i've only been in this parking lot for about ten minutes?

Keith: no audio quality change!

Dre: so you got out of a car mid conversation??

Art: yeah and crossed the street i got let off on the other side

Dre: (overlapping) i never woulda known, you’re a professional

Austin (overlapping): that’s wild

Ali: you crossed the street?!

Austin: yeah this is, this is wild

Art: cos there's a really long drive though line here that actually goes out of the parking lot and around the corner so we couldn't pull into the parking lot to drop me off

Keith: we should figure out what game we can play where we’re all on our phone walkin around doing the…

Austin: we, i have that game already oh my god

Ali: i have that game

Austin: one day we will play that game. We have to. We have to do that.

Jack: is that the game BLEEP

Austin: shuuush

Keith: oh oh that one that one

Art: bleep that! Bleep that!

Austin: bleep that cos they'll arrest us if we do it in an announced format

Ali: yes yes x many yeah yeah yeah x many

Art: I have posted in dog pound what I think is the best…

Jack: art has posted a picture of what looks like a southern californian parking lot

Keith: big spoiler! This is a spoiler for palisade

???: no it isn't

Much laughter

Sylvi: shut the fuck up

Austin: people can’t see the photo Keith!

Sylvi: (overlapping) they will

Austin: There was a car with a gigantic spoiler on the back of it. like the thing that is to a car not the truth darth vader's relationship status with other characters in the movie star wars

Art: I think you protected that one. I think that one was uhhh

Austin: yeah yeah yeah well uh well listen i was on a podcast the other day and someone forgot that darth vader had kids! So!

Jack: wait really

Austin: yeah sometimes you do a podcast and you forget thing, you know

Jack: oh yeah, oh yeah

Dre: thats fair

Sylvi: all the time

Art: but its a very important part of that character

Austin: uh! While we’re still in this little intro section we did briefly mention the cover art and using arts photo as the cover art. We will not be using that as our cover art because we have new cover art by aurahack who is an incredible artist that I have been friends with for years and years like six seven years now? Like since my giant bomb days. This is the first time we have gotten a new artist for the cover we, Craig has been great but Craig has been very busy, i believe in animation these days

Jack: amazing

Austin: we knew years ago that we would be, that there would be a moment when we said bye to Craig and Craig moved on to go do other stuff. Didn't go to move on to do other stuff, Craig is not. Let's be clear Craig has always been having other jobs. Craig does not sit around waiting for us

Keith: Craig was the resident friends at the table artist we kept him in a starbucks parking lot and he’s been there for eight years

Austin: and now we’ve traded him for art! Art lives in the parking lot now! So its all fine

Dre (overlapping): this housing market i tell you what

Art: i'm not even in the parking lot! I'm in the car again!

Ali: GASP

Jack: how does he do that

Keith: is it the car with the spoiler?

Art: no… hi Mable hi!

Janine: is Mable there? yay! Mable!

Austin: aw Mable’s here!

Keith: aw Mable

Austin: hello Mable

Art: Mable everyone says hi

Janine: she doesn't know what that means or who she [uninteligable]

Jack: she’ll never speak

Austin: hi Mable! Anyway!

Keith: aw she’ll never speak…

#f@tt #fatt #palisade spoilers #kinda #c posts

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pcwpolwrestling · 4 months ago

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9/21-PCW Extreme Political TV

Political Championship Wrestling Extreme Political TV PCW Arena Washington, DC Saturday September 21st, 2024

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder ‘Low Level New York Times Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE: Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

PCW Champion: Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland (Since 2/10/2024) PCW Women’s Champion: TBD PCW World Television Champion: Starz N. Stripes and ‘The One-Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (Since 3/3/2024)

Opening The energy in the PCW Arena is palpable, crackling with anticipation and excitement as fans chant “PCW! PCW! PCW!” The scent of hot dogs and popcorn lingers in the air as people clamor for their seats. In the center of the ring stands ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave, adjusting his perfectly knotted tie with a smug smirk on his face. Beside him, Colleen Crowder of the New York Times fidgets nervously, her eyes scanning the packed arena as if she was searching for an escape route.

Suave lifts the microphone to his lips, his voice booming through the speakers.

Johnny Suave: Welcome, welcome to PCW’s Extreme Political TV!

The crowd erupts into cheers, their enthusiasm amplified by the deafening music and flashing lights.

Johnny Suave: Tonight, we are here to crown a new champion!

Suave gestures towards the large video screen, illuminating the dimly lit arena. The crowd is buzzing with anticipation as they await the reveal of the contenders for tonight’s Women’s title match.

Johnny Suave: These four women will lay it all on the line for a chance at glory and the PCW Women’s Title.

As he introduces each wrestler, their faces will flash across the screen, accompanied by their respective theme songs. The audience will erupt in cheers and chants for their favorites, creating a deafening roar that echoes throughout the arena.

Johnny Suave: Representing the American Patriots, the Colorado sharpshooter herself, Laura Brobert!

Colleen rolls her eyes, muttering something under her breath. Ignoring her, Suave continues.

Johnny Suave: From the Progressive Alliance, Kathryn Randall Collins!

Colleen Crowder: The favorite to win the match, Johnny.

Johnny Suave: From the American Heartland Coalition, the agile powerhouse, Sarah Mae Smith!

Suave knows he’s saved the best for last. He pauses, taking in the excitement and adrenaline pulsing through his body.

Johnny Suave: And now, making her PCW debut tonight… the rookie sensation from Iowa… Catherine Cline!

The crowd goes wild as Cline’s name is announced, unable to contain their excitement for this new face in the ring. But Colleen is less than impressed. She snatches the microphone from Suave, her voice dripping with disdain.

Colleen Crowder: Now hold on just a minute. Cline may be a promising talent, but she needs to wait her turn. Seniority matters in this business and that means Kathryn Randall Collins will win the title tonight.

A ripple of tension spreads through the room as Colleen challenges Cline’s right to compete. But Cline stands tall and confident, ready to prove herself against these seasoned opponents.

Suave snatches the mic back, his eyes narrowing.

Johnny Suave: I respectfully disagree, Colleen. Catherine Cline is the real deal. She could very well walk away with the PCW Women’s title tonight!

Colleen Crowder: That’s not the narrative we’re pushing, Johnny. Catherine Cline needs to wait her turn.

Colleen’s little hiss is loud enough for the mic to pick up.

Colleen Crowder: Kathryn Randall Collins’ seniority should be the deciding factor here.

Johnny Suave: Really?

Suave turns to the crowd, spreading his arms wide.

Johnny Suave: What do you think, PCW Universe? Does Catherine Cline deserve her shot?

The resounding “YES!” that echoes through the arena is all the answer he needs. Suave locks eyes with Colleen, a challenge in his gaze.

Colleen Crowder: This isn’t about the people, Johnny.

Johnny Suave: True. That’s why the Progressive Alliance’s Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was whining that the Teamsters didn’t endorse Kamala Harris for PCW CEO… of course, nearly 60% of the Teamster rank and file support Donald Trump. It’s definitely not about the people.

Crowder sputters into the microphone before she finally responds.

Colleen Crowder: Kathryn Randall Collins will win tonight.

Former CEO Donald Trump News Suave takes a deep breath, his expression turning serious.

Johnny Suave: All right folks, let’s turn some breaking news to address. There’s been a revelation about a second assassination attempt on former PCW CEO Donald Trump.

Colleen jumps in, her voice sharp.

Colleen Crowder: It’s all Trump’s fault! His incendiary rhetoric is to blame!

Johnny Suave: That’s your narrative? Really? What about all the inflammatory rhetoric the Progressive Alliance has been throwing at Trump and J.D. Vance?

Colleen Crowder: That’s not rhetoric, Johnny. That’s facts.

Suave feels his jaw clench. Always quick to point fingers, that one. He forces a neutral tone.

Colleen Crowder: Let’s go to the video screen and let the viewers hear people who matter and let them decide.

The PCW Arena was hushed as the massive screen flickered to life: -Hillary Clinton’s stern face appeared, her words ringing out with conviction: “Trump is a dangerous person.”

The montage continued, each person’s face and words adding to the weight of the statement. -Kamala Harris stood strong, her voice clear and unwavering. -Tim Walz’s weary eyes reflected the gravity of the situation. -Whoopi Goldberg’s passion ignited the crowd while Joy Behar’s sharp tongue added a hint of humor. -Sunny Hostin’s serious tone captured everyone’s attention.

Colleen Crowder: See? What did I tell you?

Johnny Suave: Wow. Glass houses. Pot… kettle… black… Trump Derangement Syndrome- oh wait. I have something for that.

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The crowd (everyone except those in the blue seats and a few neo-Cons in the red seats) stand up and cheer.

The other members of the Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves… Sharon Johns-CNN, Kelly Davidson-ABC, Hallie Reed-MSNBC, and Doug Miles-Washington Post… come out to support Colleen Crowder.

Chris Cantwell Commentary But Chris Cantwell… he of the Two-Sentence Commentary- because two sentences is all you need to get your point across… appears on the video screen for another two-sentence commentary.

Chris Cantwell: After the debate last week, what does ABC News has in common with CNN, MSNBC, Washington Post, and the New York Times? They are all no longer credible, independent sources of news.

Cue the firestorm as all five members of the Guild erupted. They were quickly cut off…

Rachel Vindman Segment …as we see the Progressive Alliance’s Rachel Vindman already in the ring. Her husband Alexander Vindman is running for office as a member of the Progressive Alliance.

Rachel smirks, her eyes scanning the lively crowd before addressing them with a sly tone with her take on the Trump assassination attempt.

Rachel Vindman: No need for concern, folks. No ears were injured. Carry on with your show.”

The arena fills with a chorus of boos, drowning out the cheers from the small section decked out in blue representing Rachel’s team. Her smirk only grows wider at the reaction.

Rachel Vindman: Oh, are you triggered? My apologies… actually, not really. I couldn’t care less.

Suddenly, a familiar entrance song blasts through the speakers. Suave’s stomach drops as he realizes this will not end well.

Johnny Suave: WAIT!

Colleen is beside herself.

Colleen Crowder: What is HE doing here?!

Johnny Suave: IT’S ‘THE EXTREME EQUALIZER’ WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

‘The Extreme Equalizer’ Whiskey Tango Foxtrot charges down the ramp towards the ring.

Colleen Crowder: This is outrageous!

WTF storms down the ramp towards Rachel.

Colleen Crowder: HE CAN’T DO THAT!

Vindman attempts to flee but is swiftly caught by WTF.

Colleen Crowder: NOOOOO!

Dawn McGill’s voice: HOLD ON A SECOND!

The crowd pops as McGill walks across the stage and makes her way down to the ring.

Johnny Suave: IT’S PCW OWNER DAWN McGILL!

Dawn climbs through the ropes and takes up a position standing between WTF and Vindman.

Dawn McGill: WTF, I’m afraid I can’t let you do this.

Colleen is shocked.

Dawn McGill: The optics… just wouldn’t look good.

Colleen Crowder: Wow, I never thought I’d see the day where I agree with Dawn McGill.

Johnny Suave: Neither did I.

Dawn McGill: So… I’ll take care of it.

Colleen Crowder: WHAT!

She grabs Rachel by the waist and lifts her high into the air before slamming her down onto a nearby table with a powerful powerbomb. The crowd erupts into an uproar of cheers (and some jeers).

Crowd: PCW!… PCW!… PCW!…

Colleen screams hysterically into her microphone.

But then…

Chris Cuomo Promo The video screen flickered to life, revealing the handsome face of Chris Cuomo. Johnny Suave leaned forward in his chair, his eyes fixed on the former CNN host’s expression.

Chris Cuomo: When I heard what happened, I didn’t know what to say. I kept going through drafts and I just wasn’t getting anywhere… it wasn’t even landing right with me so I called former PCW CEO Trump and I didn’t ask him any questions… I didn’t go after him about his role… I just wanted to know how his family’s taken this. Because I grew up like that I grew up worried about who was going to try to hurt my father and you can think what you want about Trump… he does not have many more full-throated critics of what he says and does than me… okay.

Cuomo’s words were like a punch to the gut. The entire arena fell silent as he spoke.

Chris Cuomo: We need to pay attention here, folks. Politicians and the media are trying to downplay this, just like they did with the first attempt on Trump’s life.

Suave’s mind raced as he processed what was happening. He glanced over at Colleen Crowder, who was practically frothing at the mouth.

Cuomo continued, his tone softening.

Chris Cuomo: I actually gave Trump a call today. Not as a journalist, but as a human being. I wanted to check on how he and his family were handling this situation.

The crowd erupted into a mix of cheers and boos. Suave could feel the energy shifting in the arena, like a wrestler sensing an opening for a major move.

Cuomo’s gaze was intense as he spoke his next words.

Chris Cuomo: And I know you can roll your eyes and say ‘oh yeah’ he asked for it… listen. That’s your choice and I think it’s a wrong choice, okay. And I got to tell you that I don’t know how he stays in the race. I don’t know how he got up after being shot in the head and you people who mitigate that… you need to check yourself. I’m ashamed of how we’re reacting to these threats. We need to stop judging and start looking within ourselves.

Suave nodded in approval, impressed by Cuomo’s unexpected promo. He couldn’t help but wonder if this would lead to a new storyline, perhaps even a redemption arc for the media.

Chris Cuomo: Trump has wasted so many chances.

Cuomo’s tone was both critical and hopeful.

Chris Cuomo: And who better than him to say ‘we can do better,’ ‘I can do better’?

As the video concluded, Suave turned back to the camera with a grin on his face.

Johnny Suave: Or maybe we all can do better. Well folks, it looks like Chris Cuomo is calling for change in our political wrestling game. What do you think, Colleen?

Colleen sputtered into the microphone. Actually, she slams down the microphone and stalks off to the back.

Johnny Suave: That’s what I thought.

And PCW moved on.

Outside the Arena the night air crackled with tension. Harriet Hageman, the sharp-tongued representative of the American Patriots, stood like a sentinel, her eyes scanning the crowd. Suddenly, a flash of hot pink caught her attention.

Codee Pink… part of Professor McCarthy’s Flock… walked up to Hageman, microphone in hand.

Codee Pink: Representative Hageman! What’s your take on the recent Israeli attack on Hamas?

Hageman’s lips curled into a smirk. She leaned in close, her voice low and dangerous.

Harriet Hageman: Say, Codee, is that a pager on your hip?

Codee’s eyes widened in confusion.

Codee Pink: A pager? What are you-

But Hageman was already walking away, her laughter echoing in the night air.

Codee glanced down, her face paling as she spotted the small device clipped to her belt.

Codee Pink: Oh, shi-

With a frantic yelp, she yanked it off, flinging it into a nearby trash can. The explosion that followed was small but spectacular, sending pink confetti into the air. Codee shrieked at Hageman’s retreating form, her face as pink as her outfit.

Codee Pink: That’s not funny!

Attorneys at Law Felcher and Felcher Commercial The television screen flickered to life, revealing a chaotic scene of a peaceful suburban neighborhood being torn apart by a man slipping on not one, but two banana peels. The poor victim flailed wildly as he fell, his expensive designer suit ripped to shreds and his once-perfect hair now matted with dirt and debris.

Suddenly, the words “Felcher and Felcher – Your Legal Saviors!” blazed across the screen in garish neon colors, like a carnival gone wrong. A booming voice filled the room, dripping with fake empathy and concern.

Announcer Guy: “Have you or a loved one been the victim of slippery produce?”

The announcer’s voice was laced with faux sympathy.

Announcer Guy: “Don’t just fume in frustration, take legal action!”

In strutted the notorious duo of Felcher and Felcher, sporting even sharper suits that seemed to emit an aura of power and greed. Each brandished a comically oversized gavel, wielding it like a weapon as they marched through their outrageously lavish office.

M. Felcher: “Here at Felcher and Felcher….

M. Felcher sat smugly behind his mahogany desk with a majestic view of the city skyline.

M. Felcher: “…we are attorneys for all the people and believe in justice for all. No matter how trivial or ridiculous your complaint may seem, we will find someone to blame and make them pay!”

R. Felcher: “Did your neighbor’s cat cough up a hairball on your lawn?”

The other Felcher, his perfectly groomed eyebrows raised in mock outrage as he stood next to his really expensive private jet.

R. Felcher: “That’s property damage and someone should pay! Cha-ching!”

M. Felcher: “Accidentally bumped into someone on the sidewalk?”

M. Felcher’s smirk seemed almost sinister as he lounged in his luxury penthouse suite.

M. Felcher: “Clearly their fault for not wearing proper padding!”

M. and R. Felcher: “Call us now!”

They exclaimed in unison, pointing directly at the camera from their exclusive VIP seats at a sold-out concert.

M. and R. Felcher: “And we’ll fight tooth and nail to shift the blame onto anyone but you!”

A catchy jingle blared, a twisted parody of patriotism disguised as a commercial jingle:

“Felcher and Felcher – because when life gives you lemons, someone else should pay for your lemonade!”

The obligatory fast-talking disclaimer at the end rushed by, barely audible over the obnoxious roar of their private yacht’s engines:

Fast-Talking Disclaimer Guy: “We prefer clients filing legal action against large corporations and big insurance companies with deep pockets!”

MAIN EVENT-PCW WOMEN’S TITLE: Laura Brobert (American Patriots) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) vs. ‘American Girl’ Sarah Mae Smith vs. Catherine Cline (Independent) The deafening roar of the crowd shook the arena as they eagerly awaited the main event – a four-way battle to crown the first-ever PCW Women’s Champion. Catherine Cline, a rising star in the political wrestling world, stood backstage, her heart racing with nervous excitement.

As the ring announcer’s voice boomed through the speakers, introducing each fierce competitor, Cline couldn’t help but feel a surge of determination. This was her chance to prove herself against the established political powerhouses of PCW.

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for our main event! A four-way battle to crown the first-ever PCW Women’s Champion!

The announcer’s words were met by a cacophony of chants and boos from the riled-up audience.

Ring Announcer: Introducing first, representing the American Patriots, the Colorado Sharpshooter – Laura Brobert!

Brobert strutted to the ring, mimicking firing a rifle at the jeering crowd in the blue seats.

Ring Announcer: From the Progressive Alliance, the ultimate political operative – Kathryn Randall Collins!

KRC slid into the ring with a smug grin, waving a Progressive Alliance flag.

Ring Announcer: Representing the American Heartland Coalition, the agile powerhouse – Sarah Mae Smith!

Smith cartwheeled down the ramp, blowing kisses to her adoring fans.

Ring Announcer: And finally, the surprise entrant, the rookie sensation from Iowa – Catherine Cline!

The crowd erupted as Cline emerged, her mind racing with adrenaline and determination. She knew this was her moment – her chance to shine in front of thousands of passionate fans. Cline took a deep breath as she stepped out onto the entrance ramp, ready to face her opponents. As she made her way towards the ring, she could feel the intensity in the air. Each of her competitors oozed confidence and charisma, their entrances designed to intimidate and impress.

Johnny Suave: All right, four women. One of them leaves as the new PCW Women’s Champion.

Colleen Crowder: You mean, Kathryn Randall Collins will leave as the champion.

Johnny Suave: Whatever.

The bell rang and chaos ensued as each woman fought fiercely for the coveted title. Cline locked eyes with Brobert, their ideological differences fueling the fire as they traded blows. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Smith and KRC spill to the floor, their brawl intensifying.

Johnny Suave: Look at this, Colleen! It’s a political powder keg in that ring!

Crowder scoffed beside him.

Colleen Crowder: Please, Johnny. We all know seniority should determine the winner here.

Cline managed to toss Brobert out of the ring, earning cheers from the crowd. Without hesitation, she ascended to the top rope, determined to make a statement. Cline launched herself into a Senton onto Brobert. The impact rattled her bones, but she pushed through the pain, focused on emerging victorious. As she struggled to her feet, she heard gasps from the audience. Brobert had scaled the arena railing, preparing for a high-flying move.

Johnny Suave: “QUEBRADA!

Suave’s voice boomed as Brobert soared through the air, crashing onto Smith below.

Cline could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she watched the chaos unfold before her. This was only the beginning – there was still so much left in this chaotic battle for the PCW Women’s Championship.

The arena erupted into chaos as the match reached its climax. Steel chairs clanged against each other as wrestlers launched themselves at their opponents, desperate for a win.

Amidst the bedlam, Cline found herself locked in a vicious battle with KRC in the corner of the ring. She lunged forward, but KRC was too quick, dodging her attack and sending her crashing into the unyielding steel post.

Pain seared through Cline’s body as she collapsed onto the mat, stars exploding in her vision. Through the hazy blur, she saw KRC take advantage of the opportunity to pin Brobert, eliminating him from the match.

Johnny Suave: And Brobert is out!

Groaning, Cline struggled to get back on her feet and came face to face with KRC. They locked eyes, both determined to emerge victorious.

Cline stumbled, her vision hazy from the blow to her head. She grabbed onto Smith and flung her across the ring, but before she could make another move, KRC blindsided her with a steel chair. The crowd erupted in boos as KRC smirked, reveling in her ruthless tactics.

Johnny Suave: Oh, the viciousness of KRC! She’s always looking for an advantage.

Colleen Crowder: Kathryn Randall Collins knows how to play the political game, Johnny.

Cline managed to push herself up and tackled KRC, driving her shoulder into her midsection and pushing her into the ropes. But KRC was too experienced and countered with a quick reversal, leaving Cline frustrated. Meanwhile, Smith had recovered from the earlier chair shot and attempted a back suplex on KRC. But once again, the veteran politician evaded the attack with ease.

Colleen Crowder: See? Seniority matters. Experience matters. It’s like she’s got a political shield!

In a swift motion, KRC pulled out a kendo stick and lashed it against Cline’s back, causing her to cry out in pain. Before she could recover, KRC turned her attention to Smith and unleashed a barrage of brutal strikes.

Johnny Suave: KRC is using that kendo stick like it’s a weaponized bill!

Smith tried to fight back, but ultimately succumbed to KRC’s submission hold – “The Political Personal Destruction.” With no other choice, she reluctantly tapped out.

Johnny Suave: Sarah Mae Smith submits and that leaves Catherine Cline and KRC as the final contenders for the championship belt.

Colleen Crowder: Catherine Cline isn’t ready for this. This isn’t wrestling in an Iowa cornfield. This is Washington D.C…. the big leagues.

As Cline struggled to get back on her feet, she locked eyes with KRC, both women knowing that this was their last chance at glory. The tension between them was evident as they prepared for their final showdown.

Johnny Suave: Here we go!

KRC grabs a chair from ringside and rolls back into the ring. The unforgiving steel chair slams into Catherine Cline’s back with a resounding thud, causing her to crumple onto the mat. A wicked grin spreads across the face of her opponent, Kathryn Randall Collins, as she towers over Cline and taunts her.

Kathryn Randall Collins: That’s how we do things in D.C., sweetheart.

KRC sneers at the rookie while yanking at a clump of Cline’s hair.

Johnny Suave: KRC just delivered a bone-crushing chair shot! Will this be the end for the rising star?

Cline fights through the dizziness and pain, refusing to let herself be defeated. Her determination only fuels KRC’s cruelty as she tightens her grip on Cline’s head in a vicious headlock.

Colleen Crowder: Yes.

But Cline refuses to stay down. Summoning every ounce of strength left in her body, she breaks free from KRC’s grasp and lands an uppercut right on KRC’s jaw.

Johnny Suave: NO!

The crowd pops.

Colleen Crowder: WHAT?

Johnny Suave: Unbelievable! Catherine Cline is fighting back!

As the crowd roars in support, Cline climbs onto the turnbuckle, preparing for a high-risk move. But KRC quickly regains her composure and trips up Cline, causing her to lose her balance and teeter dangerously close to falling.

Colleen Crowder: Be careful, Catherine! You wouldn’t want to hurt yourself attempting moves beyond your skill level.

Determined not to give up, Cline spots a ladder at ringside and drags it into the ring, much to the excitement of the audience. She sets it up in position and begins climbing.

Johnny Suave: What is Cline planning here?

Ignoring the throbbing pain in her back from the earlier chair shot, Cline reaches the top of the ladder. Meanwhile, KRC struggles to her feet, still dazed from the uppercut. With a deep breath, Cline launches herself through the air with incredible speed and power, crashing into KRC with an earth-shattering impact.

Both women lie motionless on the mat as the referee begins a count. Through the ringing in her ears, Cline can hear Crowder’s voice once again:

Colleen Crowder: This reckless behavior is exactly why up-and-comers like Cline have no business being in the title picture!

Gritting her teeth, Cline crawls towards KRC, determined to deliver one final move and secure her victory. With a grunt, Cline heaves KRC’s unconscious body to the base of the ladder. Her arms tremble from exertion as she begins to climb once more.

She reaches the top and looks down.

Johnny Suave: Catherine Cline is at the top of the ladder. If she hits this, she will become the new PCW Women’s Champion.

Colleen Crowder: NO! SOMEONE STOP HER!

Cline leaps and hits the Super Swanton Bomb with precision and power. The impact reverberates through the ring as Cline lands squarely on KRC’s midsection.

Johnny Suave: SHE GOT IT!

Colleen Crowder: NOOOOOOOO!

The referee’s hand slaps the mat. One… Two… Three!

The crowd erupts in cheers and applause.

Johnny Suave: She’s done it! Catherine Cline is the new PCW Women’s Champion!

As Cline struggles to catch her breath, her adrenaline pumping, she clutches the championship title that is placed in her hands. In that moment, all of her hard work and determination has paid off.

But not everyone is happy with this turn of events. The announcer Crowder sputters in disbelief.

Colleen Crowder: This is a travesty! This upstart stole the championship from a true political operative!

Johnny Suave: With seniority.

Colleen Crowder: With seniority!

The referee hands Cline the PCW Women’s title belt. She drops to her knees beside KRC on the mat. She locks eyes with her former opponent, now defeated… as the show comes to an end.

1 note · View note

bllsbailey · 5 months ago

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Kamala Harris And Oprah Winfrey’s Delusional Campaign Telethon

I’ve never understood the appeal of Oprah Winfrey. She’s always struck me as a giant fraud, the kind of person who will smile and hug when the cameras are on but an absolute oblivious nightmare when the public is not looking. Note that I didn’t say mean; I don’t know if she’s mean, but she sure as hell seems to have zero self-awareness regarding her surroundings.

That’s how she could do a show, back when she did shows, about her “favorite things,” and it’d be full of things you’d have to mortgage your house to afford. Sure, it’s great that she could be the world’s most expensive whatever it is, but she seemed to notice no one, not her, could too.

It’s the ultimate “Let them eat cake” mentality.

Kamala Harris, on the other hand, is just the opposite. From all reports, she is an absolute nightmare to work for. As Vice President, her staff had more turnover than a Suzuki Samurai.

Oprah actually grew up poor, and Kamala grew up really well-off, no matter how many times she tried to claim she was “middle-class.” Do you know anyone whose family struggled with two parents who had Ph.D.s? Even after they divorced, high pay and job security were there waiting for both of them. Why she claims to have grown up in Oakland when she grew up in Berkeley and Montreal is a testament to her feeling the need to hide her privilege from Democratic Party voters. It’s why she claims to have worked at a McDonald's, when no single human being has ever claimed to remember her there or has any proof that it has ever happened.

When your boss is Joe Biden, you learn that you can lie about your biography with impunity because even when you’re caught, no one bothers reporting on it.

One thing Kamala Harris and Oprah Winfrey have in common is they are so insulated from the real world and even distant memories of when they weren’t part of the wealthy elite that they can’t be related to normal people. It’s probably been 50 or more years since Oprah has had to shower from work rather than for it. Unless you count how Kamala got her first political job from Willie Brown, she likely never has had to.

So, when the two of them got together to “help” Kamala’s presidential campaign, it made perfect sense that it would be a completely out-of-touch trainwreck.

A friend who works in crisis management once told me about the time a client, a long-dead singer who was in the midst of a career-destroying crisis, and an old, very famous actor (also now dead) decided they would address the singer’s scandal by doing a live television interview with each other. While it would have been an all-time spectacular mess, especially if you knew the names, the crisis management firm talked them out of it over several hours. It was the best money either of them had ever spent.

There was no firm to talk Kamala and Oprah out of what they did.

It was a 90-minute joke of a campaign event, filled with filthy rich celebrities and screened audience members (who were all donors, by the way) pretending they weren’t rehearsed. You could tell if it was fake by how the studio audience chosen to recite questions were wearing microphones that were run up under shirts, not handheld mics someone had randomly chosen would be given.

When not tossing word salads and not answering basic questions about things as simple as how she plans on bringing down costs she helped raise, the multimillionaire and the multibillionaire spent a lot of time talking to Hollywood celebrities. The collective net worth of Julia Roberts, Ben Stiller, Jennifer Lopez, Bryan Cranston, Chris Rock, Meryl Streep, and the rest likely rival Oprah’s. Kamala Harris interacts more with them than she does with the audience.

Why? Because she and Oprah think they can “celebrity” her way into office. Barack Obama did it; why not Kamala?

However, Obama, while he was a “celebrity candidate,” also spoke about policies. He lied about them – if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor, anyone? – but he at least offered them up. Kamala couldn’t give you a straight answer if you asked her what time it was; instead, she would lecture you about time zones and even conduct a brain-damaged exploration of the concept of time while mispronouncing basic words.

The Vice President has no idea how to communicate with real people because she hasn’t had to in decades. To win an election in California, you have to suck up to the wealthy donor class. Do that, and you’re most of the way to winning the Democratic Party’s nomination. Land that, and you’re in. You’ll run against another Democrat, usually, but if you can’t out-box-check them on the left-wing victimhood food pyramid, you’re as good as elected.

President is different – you have to appeal to real people, normal people. Kamala has never had to before and she has no idea how to do it. Oprah thinks she does because she’s been made rich by preaching to people on television. But just like the church Oprah belonged to for decades, then claimed to have not noticed the casual racism of (she was a member of Jeremiah Wright’s church with Barack and Michelle Obama, who also missed all the racism), the world she inhabits is unrelatable to most people. And thank God for that.

Weirdly, even though he’s been rich his whole life, Donald Trump actually can relate to normal people. The poll of Teamsters members shows just how connect they feel to him. There is no such corollary for Harris. The closest would be empty-nested, wealthy, white suburban women who have nothing to do all day except sip chardonnay and convince themselves they know best how everyone else should live. You know, Oprah’s old viewers.

Those two celebrities I referenced trying to hold a televised interview to save one of their careers had people they paid to tell them “no” when needed. Oprah Winfrey and Kamala Harris have no such people around them. And it showed in that “town hall.”

But what it really showed was how out-of-touch with normal people Kamala Harris truly is and how disinterested in even talking with them she is when Julia Roberts is available.��

Life is about priorities, and you will learn everything you need to know about someone by watching what they do when they think they’re in safe company, which Harris even was. For that reason, I am grateful for Oprah Winfrey—but only for today.

Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!) and author of the book Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.

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