thxversatile

[omkarpaper]

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[foone]

why are printers so hated? it's simple:

computers are good at computering. they are not good at the real world.

the biggest problems in computers, the ones that have had to change the most over the time they've existed, are the parts that deal with the real world. The keyboard, the mouse, the screen. every computer needs these, but they involve interacting with the real world. that's a problem. that's why they get replaced so much.

now, printers: printers have some of the most complex real-world interaction. they need to deposit ink on paper in 2 dimensions, and that results in at least three ways it can go on right from the start. (this is why 3D printers are just 2D printers that can go wrong in another whole dimension)

scanners fall into many of the same problems printers have, but fewer people have scanners, and they're not as cost-optimized. But they are nearly as annoying.

This is also why you can make a printer better by cutting down on the number of moving elements: laser printers are better than inkjets, because they only need to move in one dimension, and their ink is a powder, not a liquid. and the best-behaved printers of all are thermal printers: no ink and the head doesn't move. That's why every receipt printer is a thermal printer, because they need that shit to work all the time so they can sell shit. And thermal is the most reliable way to do that.

But yeah, cost-optimization is also a big part of why printers are such finicky unreliable bastards: you don't want to pay much for them. Who is excited for all the printing they're gonna be doing? basically nobody. But people get forced to have a printer because they gotta print something, for school or work or the government or whatever. So they want the cheapest thing that'll work. They're not shopping on features and functionality and design, they want something that costs barely anything, and can fucking PRINT. anything else is an optional bonus.

And here's the thing: there's a fundamental limit of how much you can optimize an inkjet printer, and we got near to it in like the late 90s. Every printer since then has just been a tad smaller, a tad faster, and added some gimmicks like printing from WIFI or bluetooth instead of needing to plug in a cable.

And that's the worst place to be in, for a computer component. The "I don't care how fancy it is, just give me one that works" zone. This is why you can buy a keyboard for 20$ and a mouse for 10$ and they both work plenty fine for 90% of users. They're objectively shit compared to the ones in the 60-150$ range, but do they work? yep. So that's what people get.

Printers fell into that zone long, long ago, when people stopped getting excited about "desktop publishing". So with printers shoved into the "make them as cheap as possible" zone, they have gotten exponentially shittier. Can you cut costs by 5$ a printer by making them jam more often? good. make them only last a couple years to save a buck or two per unit? absolutely. Can you make the printer cost 10$ less and make that back on the proprietary ink cartridges? oh, they've been doing that since Billy Clinton was in office.

It's the same place floppy disks were in in about 2000. CD-burners were not yet cheap enough, USB flash drives didn't exist yet (but were coming), modems weren't fast enough yet to copy stuff over the internet, superfloppies hadn't taken over like some hoped, and memory cards were too expensive and not everyone had a drive for them. So we still needed floppy disks, but at the same time this was a technology that hadn't changed in nearly 20 years. So people were tired of paying out the nose for them... the only solution? cut corners. I have floppy disks from 1984 that read perfectly, but a shrinkwrapped box of disks from 1999 will have over half the disks failed. They cut corners on the material quality, the QA process, the cleaning cloth inside the disk, everything they could. And the disks were shit as a result.

So, printers are in that particular note of the death-spiral where they've reached the point of "no one likes or cares about this technology, but it's still required so it's gone to shit". That's why they are so annoying, so unreliable, so fucking crap.

So, here's the good news:

You can still buy a better printer, and it will work far better. Laser printers still exist, and LED printers work the same way but even cheaper. They're still more expensive than inkjets (especially if you need color), but if you have to print stuff, they're a godsend. Way more reliable.

This is not a stable equilibrium. Printers cannot limp along in this terrible state forever. You know why I brought up floppy disk there? (besides the fact I'm a giant floppy disk nerd) because floppy disks GOT REPLACED. Have you used one this decade? CD-Rs and USB drives and internet sharing came along and ate the lunch of floppy disks, so much so that it's been over a decade since any more have been made. The same will happen to (inkjet) printers, eventually. This kind of clearly-broken situation cannot hold. It'll push people to go paperless, for companies to build cheaper alternatives to take over from the inkjets, or someone will come up with a new, more reliable printer based on some new technology that's now cheap enough to use in printers. Yeah, it sucks right now, but it can't last.

So, in conclusion: Printers suck, but this is both an innate problem caused by them having to deal with so much fucking Real World, and a local minimum of reliability that we're currently stuck in. Eventually we'll get out of this valley on the graph and printers will bother people a lot less.

Random fun facts about printing of the past and their local minimums:

in the hot metal type era, not only would the whole printing process expose you to lead, the most common method of printing text was the linotype, which could go wrong in a very fun way: if the next for a line wasn't properly justified (filling out the whole row), it could "squirt", and lead would escape through gaps in the type matrix. This would result in molten lead squirting out of the machine, possibly onto the operator. Anecdotally, linotype operators would sometimes recognize each other on the street because of the telltale spots on their forearms where they had white splotches where no hair grew, because they got bad lead burns. This type of printing remained in use until the 80s.

Another fun type of now-retired printers are drum printers, a type of line printer. These work something like a typewriter or dot-matrix printer, except the elements extend across the entire width of the paper. So instead of printing a character at time by smacking it into the paper, the whole line got smacked nearly at once. The problem is that if the paper jammed and the printer continued to try to print, that line of the paper would be repeatedly struck at high speed, creating a lot of heat. This worry created the now-infamous Linux error: "lp0 on fire". This was displayed when the error signals from a parallel printer didn't make sense... and it was a real worry. A high speed printer could definitely set the paper on fire, though this was rare.

So... one thing to be grateful about current shitty inkjet printers: they are very unlikely to burn anything, especially you.

(because before they could do that they'd have to work, at least a little, first, and that's very unlikely)

[reasonsforhope]

"Clothing tags, travel cards, hotel room key cards, parcel labels … a whole host of components in supply chains of everything from cars to clothes. What do they have in common? RFID tags.  

Every RFID (Radio Frequency Identification) tag contains a microchip and a tiny metal strip of an antenna. A cool 18bn of these are made – and disposed of – each year. And with demands for product traceability increasing, ironically in part because of concerns for the social and environmental health of the supply chain, that’s set to soar. 

And guess where most of these tags end up? Yup, landfill – adding to the burgeoning volumes of e-waste polluting our soils, rivers and skies. It’s a sorry tale, but it’s one in which two young graduates of Imperial College London and Royal College of Art are putting a great big green twist. Under the name of PulpaTronics, Chloe So and Barna Soma Biro reckon they’ve hit on a beguilingly simple sounding solution: make the tags out of paper. No plastic, no chips, no metal strips. Just paper, pure and … simple … ? Well, not quite, as we shall see. 

The apparent simplicity is achieved by some pretty cutting-edge technical innovation, aimed at stripping away both the metal antennae and the chips. If you can get rid of those, as Biro explains, you solve the e-waste problem at a stroke. But getting rid of things isn’t the typical approach to technical solutions, he adds. “I read a paper in Nature that set out how humans have a bias for solving problems through addition – by adding something new, rather than removing complexity, even if that’s the best approach.”   

And adding stuff to a world already stuffed, as it were, can create more problems than it solves. “So that became one of the guiding principles of PulpaTronics”, he says: stripping things down “to the bare minimum, where they are still functional, but have as low an environmental impact as possible”.  

...how did they achieve this magical simplification? The answer lies in lasers: these turn the paper into a conductive material, Biro explains, printing a pattern on the surface that can be ‘read’ by a scanner, rather like a QR code. It sounds like frontier technology, but it works, and PulpaTronics have patents pending to protect it. 

The resulting tag comes in two forms: in one, there is still a microchip, so that it can be read by existing scanners of the sort common within retailers, for example. The more advanced version does away with the chip altogether. This will need a different kind of scanner, currently in development, which PulpaTronics envisages issuing licences for others to manufacture. 

Crucially, the cost of both versions is significantly cheaper than existing RFID kit – making this a highly viable proposition. Then there are the carbon savings: up to 70% for the chipless version – so a no-brainer from a sustainability viewpoint too. All the same, industry interest was slow to start with but when PulpaTronics won a coveted Dezeen magazine award in late 2023, it snowballed, says So. Big brands such as UPS, DHL, Marks & Spencer and Decathlon came calling. “We were just bombarded.” Brands were fascinated by the innovation, she says, but even more by the price point, “because, like any business, they knew that green products can’t come with a premium”."

-via Positive.News, April 29, 2024

--

Note: I know it's still in the very early stages, but this is such a relief to see in the context of the environmental and human rights catastrophes associated with lithium mining and mining for rare earth metals, and the way that EVs and other green infrastructure are massively increasing the demand for those materials.

I'll take a future with paper-based, more humane alternatives for sure! Fingers crossed this keeps developing and develops well (and quickly).

[hedghost]

alessia russo | make you my problem

sick of her family's endless questions about her dating life, alessia invents a fake girlfriend to get them off her back. unfortunately, now she has to deal with the consequences, which means dealing with you.

(fake dating fic inspired by business by catfish and the bottlemen)

word count: 13.5k

alessia stared down at the card in her hand. her eyes flicked over the perfectly printed calligraphy for the hundredth time that day. it was the first time she'd got it out since it had been delivered three months ago, when she'd promptly piled it beneath a stack of bills on the countertop, and tried to ignore it. unfortunately, the solution hadn't magically appeared as she'd hoped it would, and the wedding was fast approaching.

she read the words again, her expression burning lasers into the paper.

formally invited... et cetera et cetera... the wedding of luca russo... so on and so forth... invites alessia russo... and there was the kicker... plus one.

to really rub salt in the wound, her brother luca had scribbled a sharpie winky face next to the last bit, obscuring the ornate lettering with a scruffy, mocking squiggle.

let it be clear, alessia enjoyed her life the way it was. she enjoyed not being tied down by the constraints of someone else, she enjoyed her own space, her independence. she'd curated her own little routines, her own little preferences, and now she was free to bask in the luxuries of single life. but still, her heart tugged a little at the card - and its implications.

when luca had asked if she'd wanted a plus one to the wedding, months ago, she'd been tempted to answer truthfully, and decline. it was the look on his face however, that teasing smirk that was always so prevalent between siblings, that changed her mind. if she said no, she'd be subject to the usual smug commentary from her brothers, both of whom were happily partnered off, and the unbearably not-so-subtle questions from her parents about her dating life. and so she did her best impression of nonchalance, waved him off with a non-committal smile, and said yes.

she had braced herself for the comments, let it wash off her back when her mum asked her if she had 'finally found someone', or when her other brother gio gave her a vastly sceptical look, like he couldn't believe she'd ever bring a date. it was fine. she was used to this.

as much as alessia loved single life, it would be a lie to say it didn't sting when she turned up to every family gathering alone, watching everyone else with their partners. it would be a lie to say the ribbing and teasing from her brothers didn't hurt a little, that it didn't play on some deep-rooted insecurity she'd tried so hard to stamp out. she told herself it was better this way, but year by year, she watched from the side-lines as all her friends seemed to find their other halves, and yet here she remained, as luca had once said; a 'lone wolf'.

so she'd said yes, when the wedding had been months away, and she had all the time in the world to find a date. now, the wedding was a week away, and here she was. glaring daggers into a wedding invite, very much dateless.

her phone vibrated against the counter, where she'd dropped it unceremoniously after coming in from her match. it was undoubtedly luca again, who had been trying to call her all day. she knew exactly why he was calling. alessia considered declining the call, but she knew her brother would be persistent.

"hey luca," she sighed into the phone, leaning her head against the cupboard.

"less, hi! great game today!"

"thanks," she murmured. her head was beginning to hurt, and she was unsure if it was from the bone-deep exhaustion she felt, or the looming threat of showing up alone to the wedding.

"hey listen, i just wanted to ask you about the-"

"-the wedding, yeah i know," alessia racked her brain for a way out of this conversation, but came up short.

"okay cool, just because you never responded to my texts about your date, and i need to know if you're actually bringing one," luca paused, a muffled noise coming from the other end of the line. alessia assumed he was talking to his fiancée. luca spoke again, voice slightly softer, but still a little harried. "if you aren't that's alright, we just need to know like, right now. if it were anyone else i'd say it's too late to change stuff but since it's you, i'll let you off,"

alessia hesitated. she could tell him the truth. she really should tell him the truth. luca had just given her an out, perfectly plated up for her.

and yet, irritation stirred inside her. luca seemed so sure, so certain that she didn't have a date. she couldn't bear the thought of proving him right. she could already hear gio's remarks, see his smug smile. her mum's overly sympathetic expression flashed in her mind, not for the first time.

alessia loved her brothers, really she did. but that's not to say that, like most siblings, they couldn't be really, fucking annoying. honestly, most things alessia did in life were to spite them. even football, which at first had been her way of joining in with her cool, older brothers, soon became a way to show them up, to prove that anything they could do, she could wipe the floor with them at. alessia made her decision.

"no, it's fine, i'm bringing someone,"

"wait, what?" luca's shock was evident in his voice. alessia gritted her teeth.

"i'm dating someone,"

"seriously?" luca now seemed to be scrambling for what to say, clearly having not expected this answer. "oh, yeah, cool, well, in that case, we need to know his name for the seating charts and stuff,"

alessia cringed. both at luca's assumption of gender, and at the trap she'd just laid for herself. this was a very stupid idea.

"her name," she corrected, on instinct.

god, what was wrong with her? why couldn't she stop talking?

"oh! right sorry- good for you less. we need her name then,"

fuck. what was she doing? alessia had dug herself into a hole of epic proportions, and she really hadn't thought this far ahead. in all honestly, she hadn't really thought at all.

she couldn't back out now though. alessia racked her brain for potential fake suitors, someone she could convince to accompany her for the evening, someone who would raise very little questions. she considered ella, but alessia's family all knew she had a boyfriend. millie, maybe? god knows millie had a thing for dating footballers, but alessia also knew she was awful at keeping her mouth shut. she could try katie, but her brothers had met her on many occasions, they wouldn't believe it for a second. no, it needed to be someone her brothers didn't know well, someone who it would be very easy to erase from her family's memory once the night was over.

alessia felt her mouth move before she had the time to process what she was even saying. the regret was instant, but the words were out before she could swallow them.

"y/n,"

"wait, from united? y/n y/l/n?"

shit. shit, this was bad. of all the players, why had she unconsciously said your name. alessia swallowed hard, closing her eyes and wincing as she nodded to herself.

"yes,"

"oh shit, i didn't even know you guys were close,"

exactly, cursed alessia to herself, we aren't.

"its pretty recent," alessia said instead. god, this was bad. this was so, so bad.

"okay, does she have any food allergies or anything?"

as if alessia had any idea. she'd had maybe five conversations with you in total, and every single one had been utterly infuriating. why she'd said your name was a mystery, and one she was majorly regretting already.

"uh, i don't think so, i'll double check tomorrow," alessia winced as she spoke, very glad this conversation was not face to face.

"well, can you text her now?"

no, alessia thought, i cannot. she didn't even have your number.

"sure," alessia needed to end the call before she said something else she'd regret, "okay luca, i have to go, i'll speak to you later okay?"

"what less no! you just dropped a bomb that you're finally seeing someone, and you're just going to hang up without telling me a thing?"

"yes, i am. goodnight luca,"

after hanging up, alessia borderline threw her phone across the room. she collapsed into a chair, dragging her hands over her face.

"what the fuck have i just done?"

---

alessia woke up the next day, feeling entirely unrefreshed, and unresolved. she'd hoped to sleep on her options after her disastrous claims to luca last night, but the stress of it all meant she barely slept full stop.

at least she had the day off from training. the thought of facing you right now was honestly sickening. not for the first time, alessia cursed herself for saying your name. why she hadn't chosen someone she was actually friends with - someone who would actually go along with her ridiculous lie - was beyond her.

it wasn't that alessia didn't like you, per se, but the two of you had just never seemed to click. since your transfer at the start of the season, you'd become fast friends with pretty much all of the girls, except alessia. honestly, it had killed her at first. alessia prided herself on being likeable, on being able to get on with most people, but for some reason, it was like there was an invisible barrier between the two of you. okay, yeah maybe alessia just didn't like you.

alessia had tried to initiate conversations, but you'd respond with a standoffish comment, or a blunt joke that just didn't seem to land with her. everyone else would laugh, but alessia would find herself awkwardly drawing a blank on what to do or say. the few times you did speak, alessia just found herself getting irritated with you, with the way you seemed to constantly be mocking or teasing her for something, the way you always left her feeling frustrated, and flustered. she assumed you had some sort of vendetta agaisnt her, although she could never quite pinpoint what, or why.

she'd never really had to try to get people to like her before, never really had to force conversation, and for once in her life she hadn't known how to interact with someone.

and so, rather than try, she'd kind of just accepted it. if you didn't like her, if you had some sort of problem with her, then she'd just leave you alone. and so she had. you interacted in a purely surface level manner, as teammates - and no one could deny you were an attacking double act to be reckoned with on the pitch - but that was about as far as it went.

her musing was interrupted by a rather heavy pounding on the door of her flat. she dragged herself out of bed, expecting the postman, but instead was greeted by a very excited ella.

"why didn't you tell me?" ella said immediately, barging past alessia into the flat with the force of a bull on steroids. her eyes widened and she began to look around frantically. "oh my god, is she here?" alessia rubbed the sleep from her eyes. she was not awake enough for whatever this was.

"el, i- what?"

"y/n? is she here?" ella turned to look at alessia, honest-to-god beaming at her. "i can't believe you didn't tell me!"

finally, alessia's brain caught up with ella's tirade. right, y/n.

"you spoke to luca," it wasn't a question. ella didn't seem to notice alessia's sour mood, instead moving to look in alessia's bedroom, as if for some damned reason you'd be in there, god forbid.

alessia weighed her options carefully. on the one hand, she couldn't lie to ella. she'd be found out almost immediately. plus, once ella was involved, that meant the whole team was. it was one thing to lie to her family for one evening, but to lie to the whole team, who she spent hours each day in close contact with, was a whole other kettle of fish. of course, this was all assuming alessia actually spoke to you, and by some miracle, convinced you to keep up the lie. this of course would never happen, since alessia was still pretty sure you hated her.

alternatively, and probably the best idea, she could tell ella the truth. ella might even be able to help her out, set her up with a date or something. it crossed her mind that you were friends with ella, and maybe she'd be able to get you to help alessia out. she dismissed that idea pretty quickly.

"ella, listen-" she began, but ella cut her off immediately.

"oh, less i'm so happy for you guys, i knew you would be so great together!"

alessia was a little taken aback. the thought that ella had seen her interact with you, and somehow come to that conclusion, was honestly baffling. in alessia's shock, ella continued on, " i never understood why you never seemed to get on with her, because you know, she's literally the best, but now it all makes sense!"

"it...does?" alessia didn't really know what to say. she absolutely hadn't expected this reaction.

"you were being shy because you had a crush!" ella exclaimed, as though she'd come to an obvious conclusion. "fuck's sake less, you should've just told me you liked her, i could have set you guys up so much sooner-" alessia barely knew how to respond, she just knew she had to stop this before ella went any further.

"no, that's not-"

"aw less, this is so cute! i can't wait to tell everyone else!" that snapped alessia back to reality.

"no! i mean, please don't,"

"why not?" ella looked at alessia, eyes questioning. she needed to confess, to tell ella the truth before it spiralled. this was already getting out of hand and alessia needed to put it to bed, right now.

"we-uh- we aren't telling people yet. its pretty recent,"

oops.

"oh right, yeah totally less," ella nodded solemnly, and gave alessia a reassuring smile. she tried to return it, but she couldn't muster much more than a grimace, "okay, well, i only stopped by to ask you about it, but i'll see you tomorrow yeah?"

alessia only nodded, watching helplessly after ella as she disappeared down the corridor. she'd really gone and fucked it now.

---

she spent the rest of the day contemplating her options, but unsurprisingly, found no easy way out. she refused point blank to admit to luca it was a lie, espescially now that ella was involved, which meant only one thing. she had to ask for your help. alessia felt honestly ill at just the thought of speaking to you, but she resigned herself to it - it was the only option. it was one night, a single wedding. all she had to do was get on her knees and beg, put up with one night of your infuriating company, then endure a lifetime of embarassment from you. super easy.

ella's earlier words remained in the forefront of her mind. alessia knew that it would only be a matter of time before the whole team discovered the 'news', which meant she had to get to you before they did. she considered messaging you on instagram, but her finger hovered over the button, unable to move.

no, she thought, after opening your profile for the hundredth time. this was the kind of conversation you had face-to-face. although not that alessia had ever had to have this ridiculous conversation before. besides, surely it was best to leave no paper trail.

----

alessia had virtually no sleep for the second night in a row, sleeping though her alarm and therefore ensuing on a mad rush to get to the training ground in time. by the time she arrived, she was practically vibrating; a combination of nervous energy and the coffee she'd downed as she ran out her door.

alessia arrived at the ground in time for the morning meeting, which she listened to approximately none of, hyper-aware of your presence on the other side of the room. finally marc finished speaking, and she stood to try and catch you.

"y/n?" she called, voice borderline desperate. you turned to look at her, as did ona and aoife, who you'd been mid-conversation with. you didn't say anything, just looked into alessia's eyes expectantly. realising she had the attention of a quarter of the room, it occurred to her that now was not the best time to do this. alessia's voice trailed off, and she took a step back.

"uh, nothing," alessia mumbled, and you smirked a little. she gritted her teeth in annoyance, and walked in the opposite direction, just desperate to be anywhere but here, caught like a deer in your headlights. she decided to give it an hour, then catch you alone.

alessia lasted all of 15 minutes before the anxiety got too much, and she took off in search of you. she was so preoccupied that she didn't even see ella coming the other way. she barely even registered the collision, just questioning her on your whereabouts immediately.

"hey, have you seen y/n?"

ella raised her eyebrow, a shit-eating grin plastered onto her face within seconds. alessia rolled her eyes impatiently, knowing exactly where ella's mind had gone. god this was unbearable.

"not for that, i need to speak to her," alessia was getting anxious now, just desperate for this whole thing to be over, and ella's suggestive looks weren't helping in the least. ella seemed to notice when her breath picked up.

"you good, less?"

"can you please just tell me where y/n is?"

"i think she went towards the gym," ella calmed down, sensing alessia was in some distress. alessia took off without a second glance, trying her best to calm her shaking hands. this was fine. she just had to kindly explain, and then beg for you to help. maybe even offer you a hefty bribe or something, and just pray you didn't bite her head off.

alessia was so lost in her head as she marched towards the gym that she didn't notice you waiting for her in the corridor. she wasn't proud of the surprised yelp she let out when you grabbed her hand and pulled her, rather unceremoniously, into a storage cupboard.

"why have i just had someone tell me we're dating?"

fuck, thought alessia. this was not how this conversation was meant to go. she tried to speak, to explain, but, as usual when she was around you, she couldn't seem to get the words out. she blushed, stuttering around excuses.

"hello?" you smirked, clearly amused at alessia's panic. she looked up, meeting those dark eyes to find a hint of laughter. alessia blinked, her breath catching. the amusement in your eyes seemed to fade a little, and if alessia didn't know better, she might have recognised the faint concern laced underneath. "you good?"

"fuck, its my fault - i, i'm so sorry, i-"

"woah, alright, calm down," you reached out a lithe hand, hesitantly placing it on her shoulder.

alessia felt her face heating up, wishing desperately the ground would swallow her whole. it was now or never. she could feel your eyes boring into her, waiting for an explanation. she steeled herself, and let everything fall out in one mortified breath.

"i told my brother i had a girlfriend so he'd get off my back about my date to his wedding, only then he started asking questions so i panicked and said your name," the explanation is rushed, and you have to lean in to decipher exactly what alessia is muttering. she pauses, humiliation halting the next part.

"and then he told ella, who told everyone, so now the whole team thinks we're together, and also my family are expecting me to bring you to the wedding on sunday," her voice trails off.

you let out a laugh, a little taken aback by the comedy of the whole situation. alessia looked down at her feet, playing with the fingers nervously. you could feel the embarrassment practically radiating form her in waves. you felt a little bad. alessia stood in front of you, clearly stressed about this wedding for some reason, so much so she's caught herself up in a lie. a lie involving you, no less, who she seemed to hate, for some reason unbeknownst to you.

fuck it, you thought. you shrugged a little.

"alright," you said simply. alessia snapped her head up so fast you were surprised she didn't get whiplash.

"what?"

"alright. i'll help you out,"

"you- you'll what?"

"i'll help," you shrugged again, keeping your replies deliberately blasé, just to make alessia squirm a little. she was surprisingly easy to stress out, and it was fairly entertaining. "i don't have plans on sunday anyway,"

"you'll come to the wedding?" you nodded, "as my date?" you nodded again. alessia sounded confused, and a little sceptical. she was wary, you realised, expecting a trap, or some sort of condition. "seriously? i'll do anything you want,"

you smirked a little at the tail end of her statement. you were telling the truth; you were free on sunday, and honestly you'd been looking for a chance to break through to alessia for a while now, since she seemed to want absolutely nothing to do with you. you honestly would've done it just to be nice, but her words gave you an idea.

"anything i want?" you could tell alessia instantly regretted saying that. you'd caught her in a very desperate position. she nodded hesitantly. "okay, two conditions," alessia's eyes snapped back to yours, immediately on edge, "one, you give me some shooting practice," alessia interrupted you.

"what?"

"you heard me." you said simply, shrugging again, "i need to work on my shooting, you're our best striker. i want you to help me,"

it was true. you'd admired alessia as a player for a while now, and had hoped that coming to manchester would allow you to learn from her. you were an excellent midfielder, known for your creative play and chance creation, but despite all your ball control and technical skills, you had only scored a handful of times in your career.

despite your hopes however, alessia had never really let you in. while you made fast friends with everyone else, she had clammed up whenever you tried to talk to her. a few times she'd initiated conversation, and as soon as you'd give her a trademark witty comment back, she'd end the interaction, leaving you wondering what the hell you'd done to offend her. it'd been a disappointment, but you'd gotten over it, settling in with the rest of the team and ignoring alessia's subtle glares in your direction. now however, it was you in a position of leverage. maybe you could get something out of this too.

"okay, sure," she nodded, "what's the second thing?"

"stop acting so weird around me,"

alessia spluttered. her earlier embarrassment paved way for only pure indignation.

"i act weird? the fuck does that mean? you're the one who's always either brushing me off, or being a dick whenever i try and speak to you!"

"when have i ever brushed you off? i try to talk to you and you just forget how to speak or something, and then you walk off with a stick up your arse," you smirked, watching as alessia got increasingly frustrated.

"yeah, because you say stuff that doesn't make any sense, like how am i meant to respond to half the shit you say? or you say stuff just to piss me off! that's a pretty clear sign that someone doesn't like you, y/n!"

"i've never once acted like i didn't like you - it's called making a joke, alessia," you said, purposefully emphasising her name, "no one else has a problem with it, i'm just trying to make conversation with you,"

"why do you have to be so frustrating? it's like you have to win every conversation!" alessia cried indignantly. you took a small step forward, meeting her eyes with yours. alessia unconsciously stepped back, but she was already pressed up against the shelves of the small storage cupboard.

"maybe you're just very easy to frustrate, alessia," you said softly, lowering your voice, "maybe you should work on that,"

alessia had no response, only clenching her jaw and rolling her eyes. you stepped back, noticing how her shoulders dropped ever so slightly. you placed a hand on the handle to leave, but before you opened it, you turned back to alessia, meeting her eyes with a smirk.

"send me your address - i'm coming over later," when alessia opened her mouth to protest, you cut her off, "unless you don't want my help after all?" you raised a single eyebrow and alessia sighed.

"yeah, okay. fine,"

"bye," you turned and stalked out the cupboard, stopping at the door once more to look alessia dead in the eye, shit-eating grin plastered on your face, "babe,"

----

"so what exactly was your plan if i didn't say yes?"

"well technically i never asked for your help," alessia grumbled.

"you would've. i was just putting you out of your misery by offering first,"

"you don't know that. anyway, my plan was to maybe run away to mexico,"

"maybe you'd meet a date there,"

alessia huffed from her position on her sofa. god you were infuriating. it had only been a few hours of this charade, and you were already getting under her skin. alessia was starting to think that public humiliation courtesy of her brothers would have been the better option.

"at least then i wouldn't have to deal with you," alessia mumbled.

"oh but you were just starting to like me! look, you're using full sentences when you speak to me and everything!"

"get fucked," alessia said. you were right; at least now she was capable of holding a conversation with you. unfortunately, this graduation meant alessia now had to deal with a lot more of your infuriating personality.

you'd shown up at her flat almost immediately after training, leaving alessia to scramble to try and make the place presentable. now here you were, reclining lazily in her living room, an invasive species taking root in her safe space, and giving very unhelpful suggestions about how to fake a relationship.

"i'm thinking we say you fell madly in love with me at first sight and then-"

"we don't need to say anything!"

"no one is going to believe we're together if we don't even have a backstory, alessia!" you were enjoying this far too much, she could tell. "that might work for your uncles or something, but if you think the girls won't want every juicy detail you are sorely mistaken,"

alessia buried her face in her hands, not for the first time that evening. she felt the familiar rising of panic in her chest, tried to drown out your constant talking, and calm down. this was becoming way too much.

"what the fuck am i doing?" she muttered, squeezing her eyes shut. you paused, and alessia braced herself for another round of teasing from you.

instead, she jumped when she felt your hand on her shoulder. your touch was firm, but grounding, and not at all what alessia had been expecting.

"you alright?"

alessia shook her head, trying to control her breathing and prevent the oncoming spiral. she felt you move to sit next to her, jolting a little as she felt the brush of your thigh against hers. it suddenly occurred to her that she hadn't been this close to, well, anyone, in a very long time. she didn't dare look up.

"this was so stupid, i never should have gotten you involved," her voice was small, embarrassed, "i'm sorry, you don't have to stay,"

"can i ask you something?," you said, and alessia nodded hesitantly.

"why do you care so much? why lie at all?"

alessia sighed. normally, she would have her guard straight back up, but she'd done an awful lot of lying recently, and she was getting very tired.

"i just- i like being single, i honestly do, but, i'm just sick of people going on about it. every single time, its all 'when are you getting a boyfriend, alessia' or 'less, let me set you up with my friend'. it's my mum giving me these pitying looks when my brothers are with their girlfriends and i'm on my own, again,"

she was rambling now, gesticulating wildly as everything that had been building up inside her came out in a rant of emotion. you placed your hand gently on her thigh, and alessia jumped, but continued on, "it's my brothers constantly taking the piss, like they can't believe i could ever find someone. you should have heard how shocked luca was when i said i was seeing someone! and i'm fine on my own, really i am, but when i hear that, it just pisses me off and so i just said it to prove him wrong. even though he isn't wrong, at all,"

alessia stopped, breathing a little hard. she felt a tear prick at the corner of her eye, and willed herself to calm down. she'd already said far too much to you, didn't want to give you any more ammunition than she already had. she winced in anticipation of your teasing remarks, but none came.

"that makes sense. that would get to me too," you didn't move your hand. alessia shook her head.

"i'm sorry for dragging you into this, we should just forget this ever happened,"

"if you really want me to go, i will," you said, "but i want to help,"

"i can't ask you to do this, it's so dumb,"

"you didn't ask remember? i offered," you nudged her shoulder, and she let out a choked laugh despite herself.

"come on," you nudged her again, "i'm not really that bad, am i?,"

alessia shook her head, her gaze fixed on where your hand still rested on her thigh, your fingers absentmindedly stroking her leg. begrudgingly, she had to agree. maybe she'd underestimated you.

"okay," she nodded, finally looking up at you, "let's fake date,"

you smiled, and moved away slightly. alessia felt an unfamiliar twinge at the loss of contact.

"by the way, you're going to have to stop blushing every time i touch you,"

alessia almost choked, her face heating up even more, "i'm not!"

you just shrugged, that familiar teasing smirk returning.

"whatever you say, babygirl,"

alessia just rolled her eyes.

"okay, so what's the plan?" you said, making your way over to the kitchen. you began to root through alessia's cupboards, "why have you not got any real food in here?"

"i have real food-"

"no, this is just like, oats and stuff,"

"it's ingredients. stop going through my cupboards,"

"fine, i'll order food. what do you want?"

alessia just stared at you, utterly baffled. why you were acting as though this was a perfectly normal occurrence, for you to be stood in her kitchen as though it was your own, for you to be ordering her dinner, she had no clue. you stared back, clearly waiting for an answer.

"um, whatever you like," alessia gave in, still looking at you incredulously. you just hummed, and reached in her cupboard for a glass. alessia could only wonder how you even knew where the glasses were.

---

you'd agreed that the best course of action would be to take it slow, ease people into the idea of your relationship. admittedly, no one had ever seen you interact at training, so they were unlikely to believe a sudden 180 in behaviour. the both of you were fairly private people, so it wasn't like the others would be expecting you to launch out the pda immediately. a few gentle touches here and there, a couple whispered conversations, that was all you needed.

alessia didn't walk out to training with you, but the two of you made sure to stand next to each other where possible. you placed a hand on the small of her back when you saw ella eyeing the two of you suspiciously, only removing it when you saw her start whispering to millie. job done.

while you seemed to be playing your part with ease, alessia thrummed with nerves. she flinched when she felt you touch her back, and she swallowed at the spike of electricity it sent down her spine. alessia waited for you to remove it, but you only let it rest there. she breathed into the touch, relaxing enough to remember the plan. she gave you a performative smile, trying to school her features into those of a loving girlfriend, and you grinned.

“try it without looking like you’re in pain next time,” you whispered with a smirk, before running off to receive the ball. alessia stared after you, clenching her jaw in annoyance. this was going to be a long few days.

alessia turned her attention back to the drill, managing a successful twenty minutes without any you-shaped irritation. then the coaches called for you to partner up, and her luck ran out. she sighed as you came bounding over to her, grinning ear to ear like a love-sick puppy.

the two of you queued up, listening intently to the instructions. or rather, you listened. alessia could only focus on your hand, which had snaked its way around her waist and was tracing light shapes into her hipbone.

she was brought back to earth by the shout of her name. you laughed and nudged her,

“it’s your turn,” you smirked. alessia swallowed, realising she had no clue what she was meant to be doing.

“alessia! were you not paying attention?” the coach yelled from the sidelines. ella chose that moment to chime in.

“she was paying attention to someone else coach!”

millie wolf-whistled in response. alessia buried her head in her hands, feeling her face heat up. sensing her panic, you quickly pointed out what she was meant to be doing. alessia muttered a quick apology, running to take her turn.

she rounded on you as soon as training finished.

“what the fuck was that?”

“i should be asking you that!” you laughed. “careful alessia, anyone would think you were actually into me,”

the icy glare she sent your way could’ve frozen fire, but you just smirked.

“it’s not funny, you fucked up my whole training session,”

“i’m sorry! i didn’t realise little old me would distract you so much,”

“just don’t pull that shit tomorrow, alright?” alessia borderline spat, before turning on her heel and stalking away. you chased her down with a shout.

“hey, where are you going? you said you’d help with the shooting!”

fuck, you’d had alessia so riled up, she had entirely forgotten. she knew she needed to keep her promise, or risk losing your help, but the thought of spending another moment in your vicinity drove her insane. she needed to go home and calm down.

“after that stunt you pulled? we'll see about it tomorrow, alright?”

you thought about arguing, but seeing how hot and bothered alessia was, you decided not to risk annoying her anymore. you honestly didn’t know what her problem was - she’d asked for your help, hadn’t she? you nodded begrudgingly, watching after her as she walked to her car.

clearly, alessia was stressed, whether about the wedding or something deeper, you weren’t sure. as much as you enjoyed teasing her, you felt a little guilty about her reaction. you really hadn’t intended to distract her, but you’d seen how some of the girls were shooting sceptical glances at the two of you, and knew you needed to keep alessia’s cover. you resolved to be a little nicer tomorrow, hoping it might make alessia warm up to you somewhat.

back in her flat, alessia stared down at the invitation once again. there was no way all this was worth it, and she ran a hand raggedly down her face.

there was something about you, that was just so infuriating. the more you two were speaking, alessia just found herself increasingly frustrated. she’d previously pinned the emotion down to annoyance and irritation, but the longer it went on, she was starting to feel more flustered than anything. you always seemed to have the upper hand, and alessia was left stuttering to keep up. it was as if her brain just stopped functioning every time you so much as looked at her, or brushed her arm. it was extremely annoying.

alessia allowed herself a few moments to air her grievances, before dragging herself into the shower. she turned the temperature to cool, and tried to forget the sensation of your hand around her waist.

—-

the next day, training ran without a hitch. you made sure to fasten yourself to alessia’s side occasionally, but kept the touches and teasing to a minimum.

expecting a repeat of your antics from the previous day, alessia had showed up to training on edge. it seemed, however, that you were intent on keeping your word. it was an adjustment, getting used to your constant presence, but alessia found that without the constant teasing, she didn't mind too much. eventually, she relaxed into the familiarity of usual training, feeling more herself than she had all week.

without alessia to annoy, you'd turned your attention to light-hearted jokes at the other girls' expense. now that she was out from your spotlight, alessia found herself laughing along with the team. begrudgingly, she could see the funny side. maybe she was starting to see why everyone else liked you.

training finished, and alessia made her way over to where you stood chatting to the others. gaining a bolt of confidence, she snaked her arm around your waist. you jolted a bit at the unexpected contact. ever quick to recover, you flashed her a winning smile. she pressed herself deeper into your side.

"ready to go babe?" you asked, slinging a lazy arm around her shoulders. you didn't want to annoy alessia, not after you'd kept yourself in her good books all day, but you were increasingly aware of everyone else's eyes fastened on the two of you. alessia turned to look at you, all big blue eyes and smiling dimples. you wondered if she'd taken acting lessons since yesterday.

"i thought we could stay for some shooting practice?" she said sweetly. your eyes widened a little, pleasantly surprised she was going to hold up her end of the deal after all. you nodded, losing your words for a second. it was a little hard to think when she was looking at you like that.

"oh, uh, yeah- sounds good,"

alessia waved bye to the others, before she practically sauntered over to the goal. you watched, a little dumbfounded. clearly she was pleased with herself for having caught you off guard. after a beat, you said your goodbyes and jogged to catch her up, chuckling a little.

"so where do we start?"

"well, why don't we just run a few shots and we'll see where we go from there?"

you nodded and turned to grab a ball from the ball bag. it wasn't not unusual for players to stay after training, so most of the equipment had been left out. you glanced up to say something, but found alessia had disappeared.

"wh-?" you cut yourself off with a laugh when you spotted her grappling with a training mannequin on the far side of the field. as you watched her try to drag it over, she somehow managed to rather ungracefully trip over her own feet.

alessia swore, but looked up when she heard your bright laugh.

"oh shut up! just help me put this in the goal," she grumbled. you hoped you hadn't mistaken the hint of a smile in her voice.

"how are you so fucking clumsy?" you teased, lifting up the mannequin with ease. alessia followed as you walked to the goal, choosing not to answer. you placed it down. "here okay?"

alessia stepped back to judge the positioning. you couldn't deny she looked a little cute; hands on hips, head tilted, nose scrunched up in thought. you were broken from your musing as she stepped forward, dragging the mannequin a little to the left.

"hmm, a little more this way,"

"don't fall over it this time,"

"oh fuck off. so annoying," she mumbled, although the smile that appeared on her face betrayed her lack of annoyance. small wins, you thought.

the two of you began taking shots, alessia feeding them in as you whacked them into the net from distance. although you could often find the back of the net, your accuracy wasn't the best. you groaned after you failed to hit the top right for the third time.

"right, okay, i think i know what you're doing wrong," alessia said, as she fished the balls out the net. "you just need to position your body a little differently. here watch me,"

you fed a perfect pass into her - at least you had no problem with assists - and she struck the ball perfectly into the top corner.

"like this?" you said, trying to mimic the way she leant over the ball. alessia frowned.

"hmm, no, like-" she paused, clearly hesitating on her next move. the pause didn't last long though, as she planted her hands on your waist and physically manoeuvred you.

"so you want to move away from the defender like this," she swivelled your hips slightly, "and then, when you hit the ball, you want to sort of do this," she kept one hand on your waist, moving the other to your torso and guiding you through the motion. you tried to take in her words, but you could only focus on her body as it pressed up against yours. you nodded, suddenly a little flustered, but alessia didn't take her hands away.

alessia wasn't really thinking when she decided to touch you, but as she positioned your body, her thoughts drifted. your torso was firm underneath her hand, she noted, and her fingers slotted so neatly into the curve of your waist. her words trailed off, hands lingering a second too long.

alessia jolted as she realised where she was. she let go quickly, a little flustered. god, what was going on with her.

"um, yeah, try that," she said, taking another step back. she felt her face flush, but thankfully, you didn't turn to look at her.

trying to ignore alessia's lingering touch, and its subsequent quick departure, you geared up to take the shot. you tried to mimic what she'd done, and you grinned as the ball found its target.

"yes! that was it!" called alessia from where she stood, "now, let's run about a hundred more,"

when you finally walked off the training pitch together, you were pleasantly surprised by your progress. alessia was a good coach, now that she was actually acknowledging you. you looked over at her as she walked beside you.

the sun was setting by now, casting alessia in a warm orange glow. a piece of her hair had come loose from her braid. you wanted to thank her, but found you didn't want to break the comfortable silence engulfing the two of you.

alessia kept step beside you, contemplating her own sudden change of heart. now that she knew you a little better, the teasing remarks no longer spun her off kilter, and she found she was more amused than annoyed.

"i was thinking maybe i could come over tomorrow after training? to sort out plans for sunday and that?" she asked, turning to look at you.

"yeah sure, what time?" you said absentmindedly, lifting your shirt a little to wipe your face. despite the cool summer evening air, you'd managed to work up a sweat. alessia couldn't help the way her eyes drifted down to your exposed torso. she swallowed.

"alessia?" you prompted, turning to look at her when she didn't answer. she averted her eyes back to your face, before quickly looking away again when she made eye contact.

"oh, um, 7?"

"sounds good, i can make dinner?"

"should i be worried?" alessia smirked, recovering herself a little. jesus, she was all over the place lately. she tried to reassure herself it was just the stress of the impending wedding, pushing down the voice at the back of her head.

"fuck you, i'm a great cook,"

"i'll be the judge of that,"

---

alessia rocked band and forth on her heels as she waited outside your building. she contemplated checking the address yet again, but settled on messaging a simple i'm outside. luckily, it turned out you lived pretty close to her, so she had walked, the weather only a light summer drizzle.

training had run smoothly once again, with the two of you settling into the act comfortably. the nature of your job meant you were at liberty to keep it lowkey and professional, only having to share the occasional sly touch or whispered comment to maintain the facade. some of the others had finally given in to temptation and pressed you both for details. alessia had momentarily faltered, but was saved by you stepping in to proudly regale your concocted story. all she'd had to do was nod and smile in all the right places, content to sit back and eat her lunch while you took the reins. after everyone had left, you'd flashed her a smirk, and whispered "hook, line and sinker". then you'd ruined the moment by mocking her outfit, but she could forgive you for that.

alessia's careful musing on the day was interrupted by you bounding down the staircase. you threw the door open and beckoned her in.

"lift's broken so we have to take the stairs," you said, already making your way up, "try not to fall down them,"

"i'm not that clumsy,"

"could've fooled me," you shrugged.

thankfully alessia managed to keep her footing on all four flights, only nearly dropping her keys once. she hoped you didn't see that.

"okay, so i was thinking, for the wedding, we ne-"

"jesus, straight to the point, huh?"

"well, i was just-"

"you've literally just come through the door, we'll talk about it over tea,"

"stop interrupting me," alessia huffed, placing her bag down on the coffee table, "but fine,"

you made your way back to the kitchen area, and alessia took the chance to take in your open-plan flat. it was nice, she conceded, spacious but homely, decorated eclectically but well. she wasn't sure why she was shocked, as though she'd been expecting you to live in a cave or something.

she turned to join you in the kitchen, where you seemed to be plating up dinner already. alessia offered to help, but you waved her off, telling her to sit down.

"i didn't know you could cook," alessia said as the two of you ate. you hummed, shrugging slightly.

"you don't really know anything about me," you replied simply. for the first time, alessia felt a pang of guilt at not giving you a chance sooner. it was true - she could tell you any number of facts about the rest of the team, but she wouldn't even know where to start with you.

"well no but, i can learn," she said. you looked a little shocked by her words. alessia felt another stab of guilt.

"so, the wedding?" you prompted, eager to change the subject, "what's the plan?"

alessia began to run you through the itinerary, rambling a little. in her stress over the whole thing, she had managed to commit every little detail to memory. she wanted the day to run pefect for luca and his fiancee of course, but she also now had to contemplate bringing you into the midst.

"to be honest, you don't have to come to the ceremony if you don't want to," she added, noticing your wide eyes as you tried to take it all in.

"well, are your family expecting me to be there?"

"um, well yeah, but-" alessia trailed off. her earlier guilt at not being close to you had now morphed into an all encompassing guilt for dragging you into this whole thing.

"do you want me to be there?"

alessia faltered. despite all her planning, she hadn't really considered that. if you'd asked her at the start of the week, it would have been a resounding no, but as she mulled it over, she found that, actually, just maybe, she potentially did.

"um, yeah, i think i do actually,"

"cool, then i'll be there," you shrugged, and alessia nodded.

"so, i'm meant to be getting ready with my mum, but then we can pick you up on the way to the church?"

"i can meet you there if that's easier? less hassle for you guys, plus it might save us any awkward questions from your mum?"

"i mean, its a good idea, but to be honest i think you'll get questions no matter what. it's not a problem - you're on our way anyway," alessia said, and you nodded.

it was a nice change, seeing you like this. the way you seemed genuinely eager to help, making thoughtful suggestions rather than immature ones. the two of you sat at the table long after you'd finished eating, discussing the plan and making sure your story was airtight.

"personally i still think we should tell everyone you pined after me for months," just like that, your teasing suggestions were back, but alessia no longer found herself bothered by them.

"we're absolutely not saying that,"

"oh come on, you know you're obsessed with me,"

"so obsessed it hurts," alessia mimed an arrow to the chest, and you grinned. she felt a small sense of pride at making you laugh. it was a little unnerving. she turned her attention to more pressing matters.

"you do have something to wear right? i can lend you a dress,"

"a dress? absolutely not," you smirked, "don't worry, i've got it covered - what colour is yours?"

"why?"

"so we don't clash, duh,"

"oh," alessia still felt wary, "its like a navy blue, here i'll show you," she pulled out her phone to find the dress. you gave an appreciative look.

"yeah, i've got a suit that will go well with that,"

"i feel like you're going to show up in something stupid - should i be worried? i am worried,"

you stood up to clear the plates, whacking her shoulder playfully.

"do you need to be going?" you asked over your shoulder as you washed up, "i know it's a late kick off tomorrow, but don't feel obliged to stay if you want to get home,"

in all honesty, alessia didn't want to go just yet. she wasn't too worried about the match, it being an evening home game they were tipped to win, and she still wanted to iron out a few more things for sunday. besides, it was nice to not spend yet another evening alone in her flat.

"i don't, unless you want me to go?" the hesitance that crept into her tone was unbidden.

"nah i'm good. stay," you walked to the fridge and pulled it open, searching for something, "normally i'd offer you wine, but maybe not the best idea before a match," you held out a can of pepsi triumphantly, before collapsing onto the sofa beside alessia.

"only the best for my fake girlfriend,"

alessia took it gratefully, then realised she didn't quite know what to do with herself with you sat in such close proximity. she adjusted her position awkwardly, but it was only a small sofa.

"so, tell me about your family," you said as you switched the tv on, "any weird uncles i need to avoid?"

alessia laughed and began to give you a rundown on all the people you would need to know. she found herself relaxing as she spoke, her earlier awkwardness dissipating. you listened intently. your eyes didn't leave her face as she talked, but alessia didn't notice.

the topic soon moved with ease towards your own family, then you in general, and alessia sank into the comfortable flow of conversation. the two of you chatted for hours before alessia realised the time.

"oh shit, it's pretty late, i should probably be going,"

you yawned and nodded, "oh damn yeah, who knew you could talk so much?" alessia blushed, and began to mutter an apology, but you cut her off, "its cool, makes a nice change," you winked, "you could stay, if you like? it's chucking it down out there, plus it's dark, and you shouldn't walk back alone,"

alessia could get an uber - she had planned to get an uber. logically she should go home, make sure she got a good night's sleep before the game. despite this, she hesistated.

"is that alright?" she asked. you nodded.

"yeah of course, as long as you don't mind sharing the bed. i can drive you back in the morning before the match," you walked off, going to get her some clothes to sleep in, and alessia followed.

you fell asleep pretty much straight away, but alessia found herself unable to do the same. she stared at the ceiling, listening to your even breaths and trying to ignore the way your legs brushed up against hers.

she wasn't sure why she agreed to stay, to sleep in a bed with you no less, but, alessia realised, something had changed this week. she enjoyed your company, enjoyed you. she'd even maybe go as far as calling you a friend. for the first time, alessia found herself wondering what would happen after the wedding. she'd been so focused on keeping up the lie, she hadn't even considered it. the two of you had planned to keep up the lie a little longer, then stage a mutual and unexplosive breakup, but now, alessia wondered if you'd even remain close. what if your actions towards her were simply another part of the act, and once you got your shooting practice in return, would it go back to the way it was? alessia realised, with a very strong conviction, that she didn't want that at all.

---

alessia woke before you the next morning. the rain had cleared up, and the sun cast soft rays through your thin curtains. at some point in the night the two of you had shifted to face each other. alessia realised her arm was hanging loosely over your waist, and she pulled it back quickly.

she wasn't sure how long she'd laid there last night, thoughts racing as sleep evaded her. she lay there now, remarking on how much softer your features looked in sleep. your hair hung loosely over your eyes, and alessia had a sudden urge to brush it aside.

the thought registered with a jolt, and alessia extricated herself from the bed as quickly as possible. she tried to push down the feeling in her chest, point-blank refusing to acknowledge it.

this was bad - what was she doing? she couldn't be thinking like this. she needed to go. getting dressed quickly, alessia collected her things and slipped out of your building without a second thought. it was only when she was halfway down the street that the guilt settled in- she should have left a note or something. alessia settled for a text.

left to get ready for the game - thanks so much for letting me stay, see you later x

---

alessia was already there when you showed up at the stadium for the game. you gave her a wave, then moved to sit by your things. waking up alone had stung a little, and you wondered if you'd done something wrong. you'd thought the two of you had maybe crossed a bridge this week - that maybe you were actual friends now, rather than just accomplices caught up in the same lie. maybe you'd been wrong.

it shouldn't have surprised you. you knew alessia hadn't liked you before, although you were still clueless as to why, and maybe it was naïve to think that could've changed.

of course, the text she'd sent hadn't indicated any problem, it was an entirely reasonable thing to do, and she'd seemed perfectly comfortable in your company last night, but still, a girl leaving your bed at the crack of dawn was never a good sign. you knew with some certainty that, after all this was done, you didn't want to go back to how things were, but you had no clue if alessia felt the same. this could have just been all part of the lie for her.

that didn't matter now though, you had to focus on the game.

---

the first half was electric. alessia played well, if she did say so herself, and in all honesty, it was down to you. while before you'd had great link-up play as an attacking duo, now, the two of you were dynamite. you each ran circles around the defence, anticipating the other's moves with ease. so naturally, when alessia volleyed the ball into the back of the net, it was from a cross you'd rocketed into the box.

she ran to hug you, and you did the same, jumping into her arms and wrapping your legs around her waist. alessia had been wondering if she'd upset you by leaving early, and trying very hard not to think about certain other things, but that was long forgotten. she simply let herself breathe you in, holding you tight as she spun you around.

the game continued much in a similar way, the two of you cleaving through defenders like water. you were 3-0 up at 80 minutes, and still you pressed for more.

alessia took on a defender with ease, pressing into space. she could've attempted the shot herself, but she saw your run into the box. she passed the ball to you, and watched as you put into practice exactly what she'd showed you.

it was a perfect strike. you pumped your fists and made a beeline for alessia, squeezing her tight.

"fuck yes! that was all you lessi, all you," you yelled into her ear. alessia's eyes shone with pride, but the warm feeling that engulfed her was far, far more than that. suddenly, alessia couldn't breathe, her heart beating far more erratically than it should've been. she buried her face in your neck and held you tight. oh this was bad. this was so, so bad. if alessia thought the situation was complicated before, she'd definitely made it a whole lot worse now.

she let go, clapping you on the shoulder as she beamed, choking down the pounding in her chest.

"no y/n, all you,"

---

you were still riding the high of the win, and the goal, as you got yourself ready for the wedding the next day. you'd gone home feeling much better than you had before; alessia's reactions on the pitch seemed to confirm to you that there was no bad blood between the two of you. your heart fluttered slightly at the memory of how she'd looked at you - all beaming smiles and bright eyes.

a knock on your door shook you out of your reverie, and you tried to forget the memory. you couldn't be thinking like that. she was a friend - and just barely. you smoothed down your suit and pulled the door open.

"hey- oh. wow, you look-" alessia stumbled over her words as she took you in.

"told you i had it covered," you grinned, posing a little, "you scrub up alright yourself," you couldn't deny she looked absolutely stunning - it was taking every ounce of your effort not to stare, to keep your breathing relatively normal as you took her in.

"right- um yeah- are you ready to go?"

you nodded and followed her out, steeling your nerves to meet alessia's mum. you ran over the story once again in your mind, and from alessia's expression, you imagined she was doing the same. you reached out to grab her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"calm down, you're breathing like you've just ran a marathon," you muttered as you approached the taxi.

"ah, wow, thats such a helpful thing to say, thank you," alessia's voice dripped with sarcasm, and she didn't even look at you.

"we've got this okay? i'm great at lying," she nodded, but you could still see the tension practically radiating off her shoulders.

"i'm not," she mumbled.

"hey, it'll be fine, i promise. just let me know if you need anything - i just want you to enjoy your brother's wedding, alright?"

alessia nodded again, before you reached the car. you waved through the window at her mum, before sliding into the back of the taxi with alessia.

"mum, this is y/n, my girlfriend," alessia spoke confidently, but you'd spent enough time with her this week to hear the faint waver in her voice. you put on your best meet-the-parents voice as you chimed in - you had promised alessia you'd be on your best behaviour today.

"hi, it's so great to finally meet you! alessia's told me so much about you,"

"you too, sweetheart! we're so glad she's finally found someone to look after her," her mum replied, turning from the passenger seat to smile at you. you could see where alessia got it from.

"well, i do my best," you smile back, "she deserves it,"

alessia groaned next to you, face a little flushed.

"mum..."

"well it's true, honey! you know we worry about you getting lonely up here on your own," you were tempted to slide alessia a teasing smirk at that, but thought better of it. god knows she didn't need you adding to the stress.

"yeah, alright, alright," alessia mumbled, still firmly averting her eyes from yours, "how's luca doing?"

"he's doing well, he's with gio and your dad at the church now,"

alessia nodded and smiled, taking a deep breath in. in a brief moment of daring, you reached for her hand and squeezed. she squeezed back with a small smile. the car fell into a comfortable silence, and you turned to look at the window, watching the cars pass by, and trying to ignore the fluttering in your chest.

with alessia being the sister of the groom, she was swept up into wedding business as soon as you entered the church. you'd agreed it would be best to save the introductions for the reception, so you slid into a pew a few rows behind and watched on as alessia greeted her family. you smirked a little as you watched alessia's mum point you out to her brothers, who clapped alessia on the back in apparent congratulations. you sent them a little wave, then for good measure, blew alessia a kiss. she sent you a death glare in return.

the ceremony was beautiful, even as a total stranger. your eyes kept drifitng back to alessia, watching as she beamed with pride, tears shining in her eyes. it warmed your heart to see her like this; you knew she was close with her family, but it was nice to witness it in full. she caught your eye in the crowd, soft smile growing when you grinned back at her.

alessia beckoned you over to her side as the crowd gathered to watch luca and his wife leave the church in the wedding car. you slung an arm around her shoulders and she leaned into you.

"happy?"

"very," she nodded, "thank you for coming,"

"anytime,"

you were interrupted by gio clapping both of you on the back.

"not going to introduce me less?" he grinned. alessia rolled her eyes.

"gio this is y/n. y/n, gio," you stuck out a hand, and he shook it before pulling you in for a hug.

"pleasure to meet you, y/n," he grinned, before turning to alessia, "where've you been hiding this one, lessi? took you long enough,"

"fuck off gio,"

"i'm joking, i'm really happy for you," he turned back to you, face suddenly serious, "if you hurt my baby sister i will kill you, understood?"

"loud and clear," you grinned, and he laughed.

"yeah, i like her less, good job," gio walked off, presumably to greet someone else, and you turned to alessia.

"that went well,"

"shut up please,"

alessia was dragged off for photos pretty soon after, so you spent your time milling around the reception area, and taking advantage of cocktail hour. you had a few run-ins with some cousins and family friends, word apparently having travelled fast, but you put on your best loved-up smile, and spent about an hour gushing about alessia. you tried not to think about how easy it was.

alessia returned after a while, making a beeline for you. or rather, for the drink you held in your hand, which she took without a word and downed rather hastily.

"having fun?"

"all anyone wants to talk to me about is you," she muttered, "even luca! you'd think it was our fucking wedding, not his! i need another drink,"

"on it," you said, walking to the bar with a small laugh. you returned with two cocktails, placing one into alessia's hand. she smiled in thanks.

"just one evening, less, you got this," she nodded, already halfway through her cocktail.

"oh there she is- alessia!" alessia groaned as she heard her mum's voice.

"god, here we go," she grumbled, before plastering a smile to her face and turning around. you waved as her parents approached, swiftly followed by luca and his wife.

"this is y/n," alessia said. you shook her dad's hand, greeting him with a smile.

"it's great to meet you," you turned to luca, "and congratulations! its a beautiful wedding, thank you so much for having me here,"

"yeah thank you," he beamed, clearly caught up in wedding ecstasy, "and of course! you're part of the family too now," you nodded, a small pang of guilt at your lies hitting you squarely in the chest, "plus, as if we were going to let less get away with not bringing you,"

"luca-" alessia attempted, but he waved her off.

"she never brings anyone to anything, honestly i don't even know if she's ever dated anyone seriously, we were all so relieved when she said she was finally bringing a date,"

you didn't miss the way alessia's fingers tightened around her glass, or the way her jaw muscles clenched.

"i mean, seriously, we were starting to get like, worried, you know? like we get you're busy with football less, but come on!"

you were concerned alessia was going to break the glass if she gripped it any tighter. you snaked an arm around her waist, rubbing your thumb slightly over her hipbone.

"well, nothing to worry about anymore," you joked good-naturedly, "i'm just lucky she got there in the end," you flashed her a smile, and her eyes betrayed her thanks. she relaxed into you a little, nodding.

"i'm glad, treat her right, yeah?" luca said, and you nodded. you were getting used to these shovel talks by now, "anyway, you guys should probably get in your seats- speeches soon!" he turned with a wave.

being alessia's date, you of course found yourself on the family table, nestled between your fake girlfriend and her brother. luckily, the attention of the group had finally switched back to the wedding at hand, and you gave yourself a moment to relax. all this lying, this play-acting at being alessia's girl, hadn't felt too difficult in the moment, but now that you weren't under the scrutiny of prying eyes, you realised how much it had taken out of you. you tried to focus on the speeches, taking the moment to collect yourself.

try as you might though, your attention never drifted too far from alessia. you snuck a sideways glance at her, watching as she listened intently. her eyes shone with tears as her dad spoke, and so, emboldened by the copious amount of champagne, you placed a hand gently on her thigh. her eyes never moved from her dad, but her hand moved to rest on top of yours. you felt a little giddy at the intimacy of it all, her fingers tracing a pattern against yours. you told yourself it was just the alcohol making you feel this way, but this small private gesture implied otherwise. it wasn't like anyone could see - there was no one to keep up the pretence for.

gio swept you up into conversation pretty quickly once the speeches ended and the food arrived, seeming genuinely interested in you and your life. his plus one, his girlfriend of a few years, joined in, and you spent most of the meal chatting to the two of them. alessia was uncharacteristically quiet, sharing only the occasional exchange with her parents. you longed to know what was going through her mind, but despite the charade, you knew it wasn't the time to ask. it probably wasn't even for you to ask at all. all you could do was watch as she subdued herself, only moving to refill her champagne yet again.

by the time the first dance was done, and the party began in full, you were already feeling the effects of the alcohol. from her more relaxed manner, you guessed alessia was too. the two of you had been left alone at your table, and you took the opportunity to check in with her.

"you good?" there was nobody in your close vicinity, with everyone dispersing onto the dance floor, but you kept your voice low regardless.

alessia nodded and hummed, closing her eyes a little.

"are you pissed?" you laughed. she snapped her eyes open at that, looking at you indignantly.

"no, are you?" you chose to ignore her defensive tone, instead slipping into a wide laugh.

"yep, hammered,"

that got a laugh out of alessia, and she smirked.

"yeah, me too- let's go dance,"

you nodded and let her pull you towards the throng of people. the two of you danced for a while, just enjoying the atmosphere. alessia's parents soon materialised, the two of them grinning from ear to ear. you laughed as alessia's dad brought out the full set of dance moves, glad that alessia seemed to have eased up as well. it didn't last long however, as the four of you soon sank into chairs and began to chat.

"we're thrilled you're here y/n," alessia's dad began, his wife tucked under his arm. you could see why alessia had high standards for relationships. "lessi's always so busy, we never get to see her relaxed like this,"

you almost choked on your drink. you were pretty sure alessia had never been less relaxed in her life.

"i'm sure you'll look after her, we've been waiting for her to find someone who makes her this happy," alessia sipped at her own drink, not even looking up.

"all our children finally growing up and starting their own families, it makes us so happy," her mum nodded, chiming in. at the mention of a family, alessia finished her glass, and turned to you. it only took one look to see the frustration in her eyes. you went to say something, but were cut off by the arrival of a group of people you hadn't met.

"oh my god, hi! you're alessia's girlfriend right? i'm her cousin, everyone's been talking about how she finally brought a date, we had to come meet you! took her long enough!"

you nodded and introduced yourself, shifting your chair a fraction closer to alessia. before you could say anymore, however, alessia cut you off.

"y/n, could you go get me another drink?" you hesitated - the last thing you wanted to do was leave alessia alone in the lion's den. the desperate glint in her eye, the slight quiver in her lip, told you exactly how you she was feeling though, so you nodded and stood, waving a quick goodbye to what now seemed to be the entire russo family.

standing at the bar, you kept your gaze on alessia, who now appeared to be being bombarded by questions. you tapped your fingers impatiently on the counter, eager to get back to her and mitigate the damage. it was becoming increasingly apparent that, although she may have avoided the questions of why she was alone, your presence here had just opened up a whole new can of worms. lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice the girl who sidled up next to you until she spoke.

"bride or groom?"

you turned to her, a little taken aback. your identity as alessia's girlfriend had mostly preceded introductions up until now.

"oh, uh, groom,"

"that explains why i didn't recognise you - i'm the bride's sister,"

"oh cool," you smiled politely. the girl's suggestive tone gave you a clear indication of her intentions. normally, you would have flirted back- you couldn't deny she was attractive - but you only wanted to get back to alessia. you glanced back over to the table, but her chair was now empty.

the bartender placed your drinks in front of you, and you took them quickly.

"uh, sorry, i should get back, but nice to meet you," you muttered, before practically jogging back.

"where did less go?" you said, putting the drinks down, and turning to her mum with a smile that you hoped didn't betray your concern.

"oh just to the bathroom love," she replied. you nodded. it was probably nothing, but you had a strong urge to go and check on her.

"oh, i might go as well, could you watch our drinks?" you barely gave her time to answer before you dodged your way through the crowd.

"alessia? you in here?" there was no reply. a quick check determined all the cubicles were empty, save for one very drunk bridesmaid who you had to practically extract yourself from.

you came back out, racking your brain for where she could have gone. catching sight of a door slightly ajar, you stepped outside.

"hey," you began hesitantly. alessia sat with her head in her hands, her breathing shallow. she didn't look up. "you okay?"

you contemplated sitting down on the bench next to her, but the moment felt suddenly very private. it was quite possible that you were the last person she wanted to be around.

alessia mumbled something, but her voice was too muffled to understand. you stepped a little closer.

"what was that?" you kept your voice low and your movements cautious, as though she were an animal you didn't want to spook. she looked up, and your heart broke a little as you took in her red eyes and tear-tracked cheeks.

"why do you care? you're not actually my girlfriend," her voice was tired, resigned almost.

you couldn't deny it stung a little, but you weren't going to let that deter you. you weren't leaving her like this.

"well no, but i'm your friend," at your own words you faltered a little -were you? you knew how your position on the matter had switched from before, but you still held some doubt that she had ever changed her mind about you. your voice was hesitant as you spoke again, "are we not friends, alessia?"

"we are but," she sniffled and shook her head "it's none of your business,"

"i respect that, and if you want me to go i will, but you're upset, and i care about you, and i want to help. i want it to be my business less,"

she looked up at you, properly this time, before burying her head in her hands again.

"it's just- too much," she whispered, a small sob escaping her. you rushed to sit next to her, placing an arm around her shoulders immediately.

"what is?"

"all of it," she exhaled, finally letting the dam break and her words spill out, "i thought you being here would help, that they would finally get off my back, but now they've all just made it even more clear that they were just waiting for me to find someone, yet they're all so shocked that i finally have, like, did they all just think i was fucking lonely and desperate this whole time?"

she paused to take a shaky breath.

"and i was happy on my own, i really was, but they say shit like that and suddenly i'm an insecure teenager all over again- like if my own family expect me to be alone then surely i'm not good enough for anyone to want me, and i didn't know what to say, or do, and i just feel really, really shitty, you know?"

you nodded, stroking her back as encouragement to continue.

"and they all just started bombarding me, and i didn't know what to say without you there, and i just-" she swiped furiously at her face. "and then i wanted to go find you, but that girl was flirting with you, and then i just felt so guilty for dragging you here when you could be out with other girls who aren't a fucking mess like i am, and now you're being so nice and tolerating me when i'm drunk and crying, when i'm literally not your problem and i just-"

"less, you don't get it - i want to be here. i want to tolerate drunk you. i want you to be my problem,"

alessia shook her head frantically, tears still flowing as she continued her rant.

"i'm just so sorry - i've been so stressed all day, everyone has been all over me and i should've been thinking about the wedding, but all i can think about is you, because i know you were faking it today but i just couldn't stop wishing you weren't, and i-"

she stopped suddenly, realising what she'd confessed. you tried to look at her, but she kept her eyes glued to the floor. your heart pounded as you deciphered her words, unsure if you'd mistaken their meaning. you bit your lip, wanting so desperately to say the words that, you realised with some certainty, had been begging to be let out for a while. fuck it.

"i haven't been able to keep my eyes off you all day, alessia," you murmured. she risked a hesitant look up at you. nothing in her expression told you to stop, so you kept talking.

"i know you're happy on your own. i know you don't need anyone to 'complete you' or any of that other cliché crap. and i don't either. but i've got to see the complete you this week, and she's amazing. i haven't faked a second of today. and if i'm barking up the wrong tree here you can tell me to fuck off - you can go back to hating me like before and i won't say another word, but alessia, i don't want to just be your fake girlfriend anymore, i want the real thing,"

alessia smiled, and your breath caught at the sight. your hands shook as you awaited her reaction.

alessia leaned forward, inching closer to press her forehead against yours. her hand found your cheek, her touch as soft as satin. her breath ghosted against your lips as she spoke.

"so do i,"

you closed the gap. her lips were softer than you could've anticipated. they pressed into yours, slowly at first, then with a deep urgency. the kiss was messy; tear-stained and drunken, but the feel was electric. the dam broke on all the tension that had built between the two of you, and every ounce flooded out as pure desire. you wanted her, needed her, with a desperation you hadn't realised you could possess. your bodies curved into each other; the aftermath of every faked smile, every pretend touch, culminating in the most real feeling you'd ever had.

you broke away at some point, hazy and grinning. alessia's breathing was heavy, her eyes shining.

"we should go back. you probably shouldn't miss your brother's wedding,"

"right, yeah, of course," she smiled, wiping at her cheeks to try and fix the tear-stains as she stood. you reached out to help, then pulled back to take her in. you smirked.

"were you jealous of that girl?"

she smacked your shoulder, but there was no bite in it. she leant in for another kiss.

"so fucking annoying," she muttered, smiling widely against your lips.

me saying i'm writing a short fic then posting the shittiest fucking slowburn you've ever read.

anyway, hope you enjoyed! love, hedge xx

[thehaberdasheress]

Now at my Etsy shop: The secrets to my success! Do what I do in the comfort of your own home!

Which is to say: I'm finally selling loose sheets of the material I use for all my embroidery patterns, the stick-and-stitch interfacing that dissolves in water. This means you can turn whatever design you want into a super-easy embroidery pattern.

Right now this is an improvement on just buying this paper on Amazon because you can try out a few sheets to see what you think before buying a full multi-pack, and the optional printed grid can really help when sketching out complicated or repeating embroidery patterns. So that's the loose option.

The loose pages are intended for drawing your pattern out by hand with a pen or pencil. But what if you want to print your own digital image onto this paper? That's what my whole business is based on, after all. And I am willing to help other people do that, too!

But, small warning. Pro tip. Do not just buy the loose packs if you want to use your home desktop printer. It will make you cry and waste so much valuable material.

If you want to use a computer printer, buy these packs instead.

It took me most of a year to figure out best printing practices for this material. It's soft and easy to handle when you stick it on fabric, but that makes it a giant pain to run correctly through a printer. So after months and months of testing, I'm finally willing to say I've found a solution I'm happy with.

I make these sheets in my workshop, by coating cardstock pages with a spray that makes them into a kind of beefy post-it note. When you stick your interfacing sheet to one, the backing sheet holds it steady and helps it feed through your printer with minimal fuss, muss, or printer jams. Then you can pull the interfacing off and do whatever you want, and re-use the backing sheet for your future projects. So if you want to print, I've got bundles of backing sheets and blank pages to help you out.

And oh my god, do I love this material a lot. It opens up so many cool creative avenues.

Sound good? Come try it out for yourself!

[ndpreservation]

Well-Meaning Interventions

Here are some frequently encountered DIY repairs that, while well-meaning, are, alas, misguided interventions that exacerbate damage and some alternative approaches that better promote ongoing usability.

While scotch tape is great for wrapping presents and many other tasks, when used on book pages and documents it typically creates problems. The adhesives in clear, pressure-sensitive adhesive tape tend to degrade and discolor over time, resulting in significant damage to the paper. A clear example of degraded tape damage is this 1862 letter from Confederate soldier M.A. Harvey to his wife, “My Dear Eva”.

While this letter would have been relatively straightforward to mend with kozo paper and paste, the tape caused permanent damage, and days of work were required to stabilize the letter so that it could be mended appropriately.

When the boards of a beloved volume become detached, simply applying duct tape to reattach them might seem like a swell solution.

Though duct tape can temporarily reattach book covers, it tends to create significant damage and shorten the book’s lifespan. Similarly, where the spine of a book has become loose or detached, at first glance it might seem that adhering a loose spine covering directly to its text block would be a simple fix.

However, the spines of most modern books are not actually glued to the spine of the text by functional design. Adhering the spine covering directly alters the book’s mechanical structure and impedes its functioning, resulting in stress points that create further damage as the book is used. 

In order to retain loose book covers or spines, consider tying the book with cotton twill tape, positioning the knot along the head, tail, or fore-edge of the book.

Even better, alkaline book boxes from a preservation supply vendor offer protection from further damage or loss while helping to moderate acidic degradation processes. The repair of books that one wishes to remain functional over time is best left to trained conservators or technicians. For further preservation resources, preservation supply vendors, and information on locating a conservator, see the Hesburgh Libraries Preserving Private Collections guide.

Applying leather dressings such as leather conditioner, neatsfoot oil, or shoe polish to leather books hampers their preservation. While one may enjoy the appearance of polished leather spines in a bookcase, in the short term, leather dressings may darken leather and over time tend to further dry out the skin as well as cause stickiness and/or significant discoloration to the leather, known as leather bloom. 

If a leather-bound book is exhibiting signs of leather decay such as red rot (crumbling leather that creates a dusty mess that can transfer to the book pages during use), consider ordering an archival alkaline box for the book or consulting a conservator for further advice on preservation and treatment options. 

Using books as a place to “preserve” newspaper clippings, flowers, etc.

Placing newspaper clippings or other items inside the protective pages of a book might seem like an ideal place to keep the item flat and secure. However, most newspapers are printed on poor-quality paper that quickly becomes highly acidic, and over time this acid will migrate into the pages of the book, chemically degrading and visually staining them. A more effective place to store treasured clippings is within alkaline folders that offer both chemical and physical protection.

[darlingshane]

Afternoon Delight

Pairing: Michael Berzatto x F!Reader

Summary: You and Michael are just two good friends with a lot of chemistry that have sex on occasion, and today is one of those days he shows up at your apartment to benefit from that mutual agreement.

Content/Warnings: 18+, Explicit, Smut, Oral Sex (f. receiving), Friends with Benefits, Fluff, Crack, Pet Names.

Word Count: 1,4k

— You can read below or at AO3.

“Your boyfriend is here!” your roommate announces, knocking on the bathroom door as you step out of the shower.

“Boyfriend?” with a scoff, you wrap a towel around your soaked body before opening the door to see who she's referring to.

Poking your head out the hallway, you find Michael standing in the middle of the living room.

It strikes you as odd to see him this early and that your roommate called him your boyfriend, cause you and Michael are not currently dating, or ever will be, — but who knows, stranger things have happened. Right now, your relationship boils down simply to two good friends that have sex on occasion, with no bullshit or feelings in the mix. By keeping this uncomplicated, you avoid the upheaval of pain and regret you've felt in the past with other guys you've dated. This situation has been a good solution to ditch all those problems.

However, Michael's been coming and going so often that some people might view that as dating. It’s true, you two are really cute together, and have explosive chemistry that could blow up the roof. You would be lying if you said that you hadn’t thought about asking for more a couple of times, but for now this is all you need.

You and your roommate are not exactly best friends, or have known each other for long. So, you’ve never considered it important to explain the nature of the mutually beneficial relationship you have with Michael, and you’re not going to start today.

“Hi, welcome back!” his smile beams from across the room.

“Hey, what are you doing here so early?” you beckon him, and he follows you into your room.

“I thought you said to come pick you up at 3.”

“I didn't. I'm pretty sure I said 8. When have we ever hung out at 3? Nobody ever ha–” you’re cut off when Michael fishes his phone out of his pocket and shows your message on screen up to you to realize that you indeed typed 3 instead of 8. “Oh… I was jet-lagged when I wrote that. My bad, but I'm glad you're here anyway.”

“Yeah? You've missed me?” He tucks his phone back into his pocket.

“I haven't missed you missed you. But I've missed this face,” you hold his chin tightly in your fingers, leaning in to smooch his cheek.

Unable to fight a smile, his lips curve up beautifully as you let go of his face.

“How was your trip, sweetheart?” Michael takes a seat at the foot of your messy bed while you move to search through your opened, unpacked suitcase.

“Long. I hate flying. Here, I got this for you,” you toss a light-weighted, wrapped present at him.

“A gift for me?” He catches it in the air, tears the paper to find a novelty apron that has printed – kiss the cook – on the fabric with an arrow pointing down. “This is probably the worst gift I’ve ever gotten.”

“You’re welcome,” you say with a mocking shrug.

“C’mere, baby, I have a gift for you too.”

“You do? I didn’t see you bringing anything.”

“It’s right here,” his pointer finger taps on his lips twice, “you have to come get it, girl.”

Grinning, you sit on his lap sideways. As one of his arms curls around your waist to keep you secured, his opposite hand frames your jaw, guiding your face to capture your mouth. He offers three small kisses, and then he nibbles at your lower lip, sucks it lightly into his mouth and releases it, just how you always like it.

“That’s all you got?” you purr against the corner of his mouth.

“You’re always so greedy, sweetheart. You think you deserve more in exchange for that crappy apron?”

“Yeah, I fucking do. It's the thought that counts.”

“That so?” Scoffing, he presses a kiss on your neck before picking you up and settling you down on the mattress without breaking a sweat. Locking eyes with you, he hovers over your body as one of his hands untucks the corner of the towel that was keeping it in place over your breasts, and spreads the fabric to the side to uncover your body.

With a low hum, he presses another wet kiss on your lips before having his tongue trailing down your torso. He leaves a wet trail from your neck, across the valley of your breasts, over your stomach, around your navel. The tip of his tongue viciously stirs your arousal before reaching the crux between your legs.

“Hi, sweet thing, I’ve missed you so much,” he plants a few kisses all over your vulva when he reaches that spot.

“Are you talking to me or my pussy?” you prop yourself on your elbows as he stares up at you.

“Hm, both. But mostly your pussy. Is that okay?”

“Sure. She’s missed you too. Have at it,” you laugh softly and place your head back down as he buries his face between your thighs.

His eager tongue traces every fold and inch of your cunt, collecting your juices at his passing. You ball the sheets in your fists as he slowly, but surely, makes your whole body buzz with excitement in a few licks. Your nipples harden and your head spins as the plane of his tongue flattens against your folds.

“Hmm,” you pull your knees further apart, close your eyes, and slide your fingers in his hair. “Be gentle. Walls are paper thin, baby.”

“Let her hear you,” he laughs against your pussy before letting the tip of his tongue lap around your clit.

His arms curl around your thighs, as one of his hands massages your mound, the other marks its fingers at the curve of your hip.

The pressure of his tongue is absolutely delicious. It keeps teasing around your clit for a long moment before having his lips wrap around that sweet spot. Up until that point, it’s easy to keep your moans buried in your throat. When he starts sucking and licking and grunting oh so fiercely around your sensitive skin, devouring you like a wild animal that has been fasting for days, he forces those drawn groans past your lips.

Your taste, the wanton sounds that he earns out of you, and the way your body writhes is the cause for his cock to bulge out his jeans. It aches for a good fuck, and he can only press himself against the mattress to gain some friction. His tongue has great determination to make you come before shoving his dick inside you. It’s all Michael thinks about, just burying himself in your slicked walls and filling you with his cum. It fuels his unwavering passion.

Out of the blue, you get momentarily distracted when music starts blasting through the walls, and you bring your hands to cover your heated face, realizing your roommate is definitely hearing you. As embarrassing as it is, you use that as an opportunity to just let go and focus on how good it feels to have him between your legs.

After a moment, you place your hands back down, knotting your fingers back in his hair and pulling as hard as you can, unable to control yourself as he brings you closer and closer to the brink.

It doesn’t take him long to make you meet that sweet undoing that elevates you to a higher plane. He’s always had that ability. But today is special because one – you haven’t seen the other for two weeks; the longest you've gone without benefiting from the other. And two – the unexpected surprise of him showing up earlier gives you that extra edge of excitement that has your legs trembling with practice eased in this afternoon delight.

When all your muscles seize up, and you can’t stop squirming and cursing his name, he takes it up a notch until you come undone. As your mind swirls in that bubble of pure bliss, he stops altogether, but keeps his mouth close to press soft kisses against your sensitive skin while your breathing catches.

You let go of his hair and let your arms fall to the sides, watching a blurry vision of Michael crawling over your limp, tired body.

“How was that, sweetheart?”

“That was beautiful. You’re beautiful. Everything your tongue does is beautiful,” you reiterate with a dopey smile, cause you can’t come up with a different word at this moment.

Staring adorably at you, he caresses your sweaty face as you regain enough strength to lift your hand and swipe his lips with your thumb to clean your juices lingering all over his mouth. “You think you got more for me, baby?”

“For you? Always.”

[ratherbefangirling]

Belong pt.7

Pairing: ot7 x reader

Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort, Omegaverse

Synopsis: The pack seems to be falling for you but Jungkook doesn't like it one bit. What happens when he learns you are his mate

Masterlist

Previous / Next

Jungkook walked into his professors office. Along with Namjoon as his guardian. The instinct to hide behind his pack alpha was pretty strong.

"Don't worry." Namjoon comforted rubbing his back. "I have all the papers here about Y/n's friends admittance to the hospital. I'm sure we will figure it out."

Jungkook nods biting his lip in worry.

They knock the professors door.

"Come in." The voice calls.

"Oh Jungkook ssi. And this must be your guardian."

"Pack Alpha. Kim Namjoon."

"Yes. Please take a seat."

Namjoon explained the situation to the professor.

"I'm not sure how much I can help you. You understand that he could have submitted before and its an important project for the final grade."

"Ofcourse professor. But it would be very gracious of you if you could offer us any solution."

The professor thought for a moment.

"While usually I don't do this but to raise your grade you may volunteer to supervise the freshmen trip. I'm the Head of the committee and we could use some man power."

"Thank you. Thanks a lot professor." Namjoon says flashing her a very bright blinding smile and Jungkook would be jealous except he knew how Namjoon always giggled when he was truly happy. The professor seemed charmed.

Namjoon rubbed Jungkook's back reassuringly.

"Everything will be fine now."

"Thanks hyung."

"You're welcome."

Jungkook fiddled with his thumbs. Unsure how to broach the topic of you. He almost hated that you came in their lives but in reality he hated himself for being insecure.

"Hyung." Jungkook started.

Namjoon's phone began to ring.

"Give me a moment Jungkook." He said before answering the call.

From the end of the corridor, a figure waved. Jungkook waved back to his friend Eunwoo.

"Hyung, I'm going to go meet Eunwoo. See you later."

Namjoon nodded and gave Jungkook a side hug before leaving.

"Still need Mr. Alpha to protect you." Eunwoo joked as Jungkook neared. Jungkook only rolled his eyes in response. He had enough of his friends teasing. Yes they had to listen to him show off about his pack and he might have gone over board. But nobody can blame him, he felt so good with his pack.

"What are you doing here?" Jungkook asked.

"Nothing important just dropping off some forms. You?"

"I kind of missed an important deadline so Namjoon hyung came to talk to the professor."

"You should be careful kook-ah." Eunwoo cautioned his friend.

"I know. I know."

Working together with your soulmate had to be the best thing ever. Jimin thought.

The two of them had been very busy after their break they had to set up a new exhibition. And setting up a new theme was never easy from looking into artworks, their aptness, setting them, having the backdrop and lighting changed to fit the new theme, archiving carefully the old ones, separating the loaned ones and returning them before their due. Making sure new pamphlets and posters are printed according to the guidelines.

The two of them had been working overtime because of all that. So when their boss instructed them to overlook installation of some of the artworks that had been bid on previously. They took the time to have a lunch break.

The restaurant was nice and casual. It was famous for its latest addition. A Polaroid wall for people to make memories. They gave you a free picture if you left a review. Otherwise they'd just put your picture on the wall. Whoever planned it, their plan was working the place was packed.

"What do you want to order?" Jimin asked.

"Chese burger and potato wedges." Taehyung answered perusing the drinks section.

"Fine I'm having the lemon chicken bake pasta. What about drinks?"

"Mojito." Tae decides

"The Berry slushie sounds good to me. You want dessert?" Jimin says.

"We can grab churros on our way back from that bakery we saw while we came here." Tae suggests.

"Ok. I'm going to go order now." Jimin replies.

"Am I seeing things or is that y/n" Tae wonders aloud.

Jimin turns and there you are. A sight for sore eyes. He misses your company but there is nothing he can do about it.

Taehyung tugs his sleeve. "Jiminie ok"

Jimin nods.

You too seem to notice them as the server guides you to the table. You nod your head in greeting but focus on Yeonjun.

Jimin feels a flash of possessiveness and jealousy.

"Do you want to share the milkshake?" Yeonjun asks. "Their large one is cheaper but I can't finish it alone."

"Yes, it's fine." You reply. It's weird to sit across Jimin and Taehyung and not with them.

Their faces look tired but you suppressed your curiosity about them. There was no point of being overly friendly.

"Are you going to the camping trip?" Yeonjun asks.

"I think I will Suyeon send me the brochure. It sounds fun. What about you?"

"If you're going I'll go." He says smoothly causing you to blush.

Jimin can feel his temper rising. My omega his brain screams.

"Yeonjun." You whine and hit him playfully.

"It's true I've already been there with my pack so I'm only going if there's good reason."

"So I'm your good reason?"

"The best."

Taehyung's eyes narrow. Both of them can't help but eavesdrop on your conversation.

You chuckle.

"Sure sure. I'm sure I'm not that special."

"You are. You are special to me." He replies.

The server comes with your meals.

They try to ignore it. They really do but you sharing the Milkshake with Yeonjun's the last straw.

When the time comes to pay the bill you learn that it has been paid and they leave you a note.

Have a nice day Y/n

Love jiminie and tae

"Do you know them y/n?" Yeonjun asks.

"Yes they are omegas I'm close with."

"Oh." Yeonjun said. It wasn't unheard of for omegas to court omegas but it was odd for friends to behave this way. Maybe they were trying to warn me. Yeonjun thought.

Taehyung and Jimin share a look. They need to tell Jungkook. If he doesn't get his act together now he never wouldn't even get a chance to try.

You call your mom when you reach home. You hope she'll let you go on the trip.

"Hello?" You ask as soon as she picks up.

"Hello Y/n everything ok?"

"Yes everything is fine? How's your day going?"

"Good good things have been busy here but it's nice. How's the pack?"

"Good... they're fine." You answer.

"I remember courting your dad. What a time it was. Make sure you enjoy it."

"Mum actually our college is going on a trip can I go. I'll send you the details."

"Ah my baby has grown up. Ofcourse you should go. I will send extra money ok. Buy yourself nice clothes and things you need too. "

"Thank you mum."

"Anything for you. Now I'll check the brochure send me any forms I might need to fill."

"Ok understood. Thank you. Love you. Bye."

"Bye love you too." Your mum replies before hanging up.

You feels so happy you do a little dance of celebration.

You text Suyeon.

Y/n: I got it. I got permission. This is going to be the best trip ever

Suyeon: fr fr. I'm so happy congratulations 🎊 👏 💐 🥳

Y/n: ☺☺

Y/n: let's go shopping 🛍 for cute outfits.

Suyeon: 🤑

You giggle to yourself.

•○•○•

You called Suyeon. You were supposed to go shopping together but you hadn't heard from her all day.

"Hello y/n. What's up?"

"Where are you ? We were supposed to go shopping today?"

"God that was today. I'm sorry actually Soobin's birthday is coming up so I'm with his pack. Rain check. Let's go tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow I have to study for a class test."

"I'm sorry. Honest mistake... why don't you go with the pack."

"The pack."

"Yes its not like you are not close to them. Things might be awkward because of a certain someone but that doesn't mean you shouldn't hang out with the others. I mean you always miss them. And you did go out shopping with them before."

You find yourself being convinced. So you knock on their door.

Yoongi opens the door.

"Is everything ok?" He asks looking over you to see any signs of panic and injury.

"Hi yeah. It's just that Iwasgoingshoppingandwonderedifanyonewouldaccompanyme?"

"Slow down biscuit."

"I sorry I'm a bit nervous."

"No need to be nervous. Now did you need something? Why don't you come in first huh. Its so hot you might get a sunburn."

You nod and follow him inside.

"I wanted to go shopping because there is a University trip and I was wondering if anyone would like to come with me?" You tell Yoongi.

As you enter the living room. You see Jin and Taehyung snacking watching anime in the living room.

"Y/n!!" Taehyung is the first to notice you and calls you excitedly.

"Y/n come sit we were just talking about you. You'll like this one." Jin said patting the empty space next to him.

You felt your heart warm.

"Y/n needs to go shopping for... where are you going?" Yoongi tells them.

"Camping." You supply.

"Oh I have just the thing for you. Guys take care of her."

"Do you want to go right now." Jin asks turning of the TV.

"Yes I was supposed to go with Suyeon and she's busy and then I'm busy so today I'm hoping to find something good but if I go by myself it'll take longer to find myself things."

"Give us 15 minutes." Taehyung says and he rushes into his room.

You nod. Jin goes to the kitchen and brings out cookies.

"Here's a little snack. I will be back quick." Jin says.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome sweetheart."

As Jin leaves you sit on the couch and munch cookies. You feel comforted by the packs scent. You didn't realise how much you missed the pack. In a way you were grateful your best friend made you come to the pack.

Yoongi enters the room smiling fondly at you. He places a box infront of you.

"What's this?" You ask.

"A first aid box and some camping essentials. If you need anything else ask me. Me and Jin hyung go fishing so we have enough camping supplies no need to but things you will only use once. I can teach you some things if you want as well. There is basic first aid supplies and then there are fire supplies to light up campfire post rain as well and other things."

"Thank you." You say touched.

"Anytime biscuit." He replies feeling good.

Taehyung and Jin come out of their rooms dressed up. You can't help but admire how good they look. Jin is dressed in a button down and black ripped jeans and Taehyung's dressed in a tshirt with rips and faded blue jeans and a beanie.

"Come on let's go. Y/n." Jin says.

"Ah yes." You look at the kit.

"You can take this when you come back." Yoongi says.

"Thanks."

"Come on Y/n-ie we are getting late." Taehyung says.

Yoongi comes to drop you all out. Even opening the door for you.

"See you later. Have fun." He says.

You all wave him goodbye.

Jin turns the radio. You sit next to him and Taehyung is in the back but leaning front.

"So do you have any outfits in mind?" Taehyung asks.

"No not really. Something comfortable but also I look good in and avoid material that can get damaged in a camping trip." You reply.

Jin's and Taehyung's phones both go off at the same time. Taehyung looks at the phone and his expression turns into neutral, Jin looks at Taehyung via his back mirror, Taehyung mouths 'tell you later'.

"Is something the matter?" You ask.

"Nothing. Why don't you tell me have you thought about buying boots?" Taehyung answers.

Namjoon: pack meeting to discuss Jungkook and Y/n situation. Everyone needs to be present tonight.

All I'm going to say is that rereading this to collect info I just made up along the way makes me reflect on the bizarre writing process. Anyhow I made notes not to forget from now on.

When I write it feels like going up a mountain but reading was just like walking down a hill.

It's been a while I got busy with life and a little writers block I hope you like it. Let me know your thoughts.

Taglist @jaiuneamesolitaiire ; @mintsugarmy ; @goooood-vibes ; @juju-227592 ; @singukieee ; @zae007live ; @rainbow-bunny-bts ; @fluffy-canada-pancakes ; @bleubirdinthesky ; @kyrah-williams ; @thedarkwinterrose ; @realswimshaddy ; @emu007 ; @jcrml ; @scuzmunkie ; @angel-121 ; @passionandsuga ;@popcatx0 ; @exfolitae ; @raineandskye ; @notsooperfect ; @toriluvsfics ; @northspiritstorm

[killmongerskeeper]

Royal Surprise // Shuri

Summary/Request: Ouuuu that Shuri smut had my mouth watering. Can you do one where she sneaks away from Wakanda to see the reader who is currently in college in the states? - Anonymous

Pairing: Shuri x Hbcu!FemReader

Warning: Fluff 

Word Count: 1.3k

You let out a sigh as the pencil in your hand tapped away at the notebook on your desk. Trying to figure out the solution to the equation printed on paper was starting to give you a small headache. It was also a pain that your roommate was no help. You were smart but not on her level. Hell, even your girlfriend could answer this question just by glancing at it. She may be the princess of Wakanda but her brain was non comparable. One of the smartest people you know. 

"Still can't figure it out?" A voice broke you from your thoughts and your eyes found your roommates figure. 

"Not yet." You said and she laughed at the way your eyes glared through the braids hanging in front of your face. 

"Come on Y/N. You got it." She said walking towards the door as she slung her bag over her shoulder, headed out the door.

"Yeah with no help from you Riri." You scoffed wishing she would just give you the answer. But according to her, it would help you learn it. "Why can't I just pay you like everyone else?"

"We've known each other for too long to do that. Plus I enjoy watching you struggle. It's what best friends are for." she shrugged feeling way too amused at you failing to answer the problem.

"Haha. Where are you going anyway? Your next class doesn't start for 30 more minutes." You asked and she held up her phone.

"That bullhead from the football team owes me a band. He didn’t pay yesterday, so the price got raised." She smirked and you shook your head. The things people will do for a good grade goes beyond you. 

"So lunch should be on you then?" You laughed as she turned to you with a straight face. "Hey you're the one with the deep pockets, big money."

"Yeah but you haven't figured out that problem yet. Bet still stands genius." You gave a frown as she turned to leave.

"Yeah yeah! I'll bring dinner though." She called out as she closed the door behind her. You shook your head as you continued trying to figure out the problem. You let an hour pass before you felt yourself nodding off, class work completely forgotten in the notebook on your desk. You heard a light knock causing you to stir out of your sleep, checking your phone for the time.

"Riri isn't here!" You shouted at who was probably one of her future customers. You moved to head to the fridge before another knock hit the door. You sighed in frustration as you dragged yourself to the door after slipping on some sweats. "I already told you if you're looking for Riri she's not-" You swung the door open and your jaw just about hit the floor. At the door stood your long distance girlfriend and princess of Wakanda herself. She wore a black tracksuit with the curls in her hair falling over her eyes. You went to start questioning her before she put a finger up to her lips, signaling you to stay quiet. She gently pushed you backwards to get into the room and scoop you up in her arms. 

"What are you doing here?" You asked in a hushed squeal as she kissed you softly. You eagerly returned the kiss after throwing your arms over her shoulders. Her hands held you close before you pulled away with wide eyes. 

"I came to see you. For the first time I grew bored in my lab so I decided to fly out to surprise you.” she told you and you felt like a kid in a candy store. It's not often she has time to call let alone visit. 

"I get that. But who brought you? How did you get here? Okoye isn't outside, is she? Someone might think she's up to something." You began to panic before she grabbed your face.

"No one is outside. I came on my own." She grinned as you grabbed her arms to pull her into your room.

"But what did your mother say about it?" You asked and she shrugged 

"She can't speak on what she doesn't know." You covered your mouth to contain your laughter. 

"You are a sneaky little shit." You said to her and she hugged you again, burying her face in your neck. She missed you. You too miss these moments, every time you have to part from her for a while. But her being here, with you in her arms, soaking in her warmth. You wouldn't trade it for the world. You didn't even hear the door open until the sound of a bag dropping caught your attention. You turned to see Riri with the widest her eyes have ever been.

"Riri, calm down. I can explain." You told her as her hands flew to her head. 

"Calm down? You wanna tell me why my best friend is all up on the princess of Wakanda?!" She said in disbelief and you went to scratch your neck. 

"Riri, this is Shuri. My girlfriend. Baby this is my best friend Riri." You introduced the two as Riri tried to keep her composure. 

"So this is Riri?" Shuri asked with an amused grin as your roommate struggled to hold it together. 

"You know about me? Does she know about me? How come I didn't know about her? Y/N-"

"Okay relax. I didn't tell you because Wakanda had their own problems and I didn't want to involve you." You spoke before she could muster out another question. 

"Y/N is right. My homeland did have its own affairs to deal with. I asked her to keep it on the low. But I am glad to finally meet the person she talks so much about." You grabbed her arm causing her to look down at you. 

"How long do you think you have?" As soon as the question left your mouth a voice spoke out from her kimoyo beads. Riri looked around the room before Shuri held up her wrist.

"Shuri?" A voice sang and you looked up at the princess with a worried glance. 

"Mother." She replied softly. 

"I sent Okoye to fetch you only for her to come back and tell me, you are not here. Is there a reason you aren't at the palace right now?" The queen asked and Shuri gave a nervous laugh.

"I just stepped away from the palace for a couple minutes. Needed to grab some things." She lied trying to cover her tracks.

"Did you forget I can track location daughter." The queen said with a firm tone that even you couldn't lie to her.

"Hi Queen Ramonda." You mumbled a greeting and the queen gave a soft laugh.

"Hello sweet Y/N. Please make sure my daughter returns at an appropriate time." She said to you and you nodded even though she couldn't see me. 

"I'll return soon mother. Just wanted to come see her." Shuri said before kissing you temple.

"I understand child. Just remember to tell me next time." The queen mused, causing her daughter to roll her eyes. You now see where Shuri got her habit of checking locations from.

"Understood. Now I gotta go."

The conversation ended and you grabbed your purse and Shuri's hand as you dashed to the door.

"I'll be back later!" You called out to Riri who was still stunned by the entire ordeal. 

"But what about the class work?" She motioned to your desk still covered in notebook paper.

"Finish it for me. Please? I'll owe you big time!" You shouted going out the door before she could respond. She stared at the door you just locked and shook her head.

"Ain't that some shit."

[d3adbr3inc3lls]

Just Two Teens (highschool AU) | Spinel x Reader | Oneshot

I had a convo with @//amethiosspouse abt this but I'm using diff headcannons and such for this,

CW: Implied stalking,(?)

You never really noticed the boy with teal hair until recently when he came late to class, uttering an apology to the teacher with a slip of paper between his fingers explaining his late arrival.

That was the first time you've ever noticed him, and ever since then, it's like you can't just not notice him. He's in most of your classes, he's in your Calc, Digital Solutions, English and he's in some of your Sciences, the only subjects where you don't really see him are the two subjects you chose to make school tolerable.

Apparently, he's one of the smartest students in your grade which honestly suprised you because he'd often skip class, preferring to watch some streamer in the bathroom instead of focusing on his poor attendance to class.

But hey, the teachers couldn't complain, he was the best student in the class.

Sometimes you swore he was following you, or even keeping tabs. It started with him following your pokégram -which was set to private and had no mentions of your name or anything that could hint at it being you- and it slowly spiralling to you seeing him during breaks and in hallways despite your other classes being nowhere near eachother.

Talking to him was easy, he sat with no-one, giving you a chance to sit next to him.

He never admitted or hinted at stalking you, (even if the chances of it happening were high) but you never asked.

--

"Fancy seeing you here,"

The teal-haired main quickly flicked his head up, his body relaxing as he realised that it was just you, and not one of his other quote-unquote friends.

Nodding, he slid his glasses -which you swore didn't have lenses- up his nose before patting a spot next to him, his mechanical pencil was slotted between his fingers as he corrected his finger placement before continuing to write.

"Assignments, eh?"

Talking to him proved to be difficult at times. He rarely spoke to people, preferring to be an observer and only speak up when he knew what to say.

Nodding, the teen quickly read his paragraph before scribbling some stuff down and sliding the piece of paper into his English book.

"Yeah. English is fairly simple. Hopefully you've worked on yours at home, it's due tomorrow."

You often forgot that he sat behind you in English, so he knew about all those times you've played games instead of focusing on classwork.

To be fair, tetris was a relatively simple and mindless game that kept your attention to the arc-awful audio book playing in the background.

"Give me some credit, I've finished the assignment a few days ago,"

It was true. You finished the assignment as quickly as possible so you could do whatever you felt like in class, and it proved to be successful, with you handing in your printed copy to the teacher last period who was happily suprised.

Nodding, the teal haired teen glanced in your direction, only to focus on the science building somewhat infront of the two of you.

"We have math next, and that assignment is due today,"

Picking himself up off the ground, Spinel grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder, giving you a grin as he left you dumbfounded.

Since when did you have a math assignment??

[killmongerskeepermain]

Royal Surprise // Shuri

Summary/Request: Ouuuu that Shuri smut had my mouth watering. Can you do one where she sneaks away from Wakanda to see the reader who is currently in college in the states? - Anonymous

Pairing: Shuri x Hbcu!FemReader

Warning: Fluff 

Word Count: 1.3k

You let out a sigh as the pencil in your hand tapped away at the notebook on your desk. Trying to figure out the solution to the equation printed on paper was starting to give you a small headache. It was also a pain that your roommate was no help. You were smart but not on her level. Hell, even your girlfriend could answer this question just by glancing at it. She may be the princess of Wakanda but her brain was non comparable. One of the smartest people you know. 

“Still can’t figure it out?” A voice broke you from your thoughts and your eyes found your roommates figure. 

“Not yet.” You said and she laughed at the way your eyes glared through the braids hanging in front of your face. 

“Come on Y/N. You got it.” She said walking towards the door as she slung her bag over her shoulder, headed out the door.

“Yeah with no help from you Riri.” You scoffed wishing she would just give you the answer. But according to her, it would help you learn it. “Why can’t I just pay you like everyone else?”

“We’ve known each other for too long to do that. Plus I enjoy watching you struggle. It’s what best friends are for.” she shrugged feeling way too amused at you failing to answer the problem.

“Haha. Where are you going anyway? Your next class doesn’t start for 30 more minutes.” You asked and she held up her phone.

“That bullhead from the football team owes me a band. He didn’t pay yesterday, so the price got raised.” She smirked and you shook your head. The things people will do for a good grade goes beyond you. 

“So lunch should be on you then?” You laughed as she turned to you with a straight face. “Hey you’re the one with the deep pockets, big money.”

“Yeah but you haven’t figured out that problem yet. Bet still stands genius.” You gave a frown as she turned to leave.

“Yeah yeah! I’ll bring dinner though.” She called out as she closed the door behind her. You shook your head as you continued trying to figure out the problem. You let an hour pass before you felt yourself nodding off, class work completely forgotten in the notebook on your desk. You heard a light knock causing you to stir out of your sleep, checking your phone for the time.

“Riri isn’t here!” You shouted at who was probably one of her future customers. You moved to head to the fridge before another knock hit the door. You sighed in frustration as you dragged yourself to the door after slipping on some sweats. “I already told you if you’re looking for Riri she’s not-” You swung the door open and your jaw just about hit the floor. At the door stood your long distance girlfriend and princess of Wakanda herself. She wore a black tracksuit with the curls in her hair falling over her eyes. You went to start questioning her before she put a finger up to her lips, signaling you to stay quiet. She gently pushed you backwards to get into the room and scoop you up in her arms. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked in a hushed squeal as she kissed you softly. You eagerly returned the kiss after throwing your arms over her shoulders. Her hands held you close before you pulled away with wide eyes. 

“I came to see you. For the first time I grew bored in my lab so I decided to fly out to surprise you.” she told you and you felt like a kid in a candy store. It’s not often she has time to call let alone visit. 

"I get that. But who brought you? How did you get here? Okoye isn’t outside, is she? Someone might think she’s up to something.” You began to panic before she grabbed your face.

“No one is outside. I came on my own.” She grinned as you grabbed her arms to pull her into your room.

“But what did your mother say about it?” You asked and she shrugged 

“She can’t speak on what she doesn’t know.” You covered your mouth to contain your laughter. 

“You are a sneaky little shit.” You said to her and she hugged you again, burying her face in your neck. She missed you. You too miss these moments, every time you have to part from her for a while. But her being here, with you in her arms, soaking in her warmth. You wouldn’t trade it for the world. You didn’t even hear the door open until the sound of a bag dropping caught your attention. You turned to see Riri with the widest her eyes have ever been.

“Riri, calm down. I can explain.” You told her as her hands flew to her head. 

“Calm down? You wanna tell me why my best friend is all up on the princess of Wakanda?!” She said in disbelief and you went to scratch your neck. 

“Riri, this is Shuri. My girlfriend. Baby this is my best friend Riri.” You introduced the two as Riri tried to keep her composure. 

“So this is Riri?” Shuri asked with an amused grin as your roommate struggled to hold it together. 

“You know about me? Does she know about me? How come I didn’t know about her? Y/N-”

“Okay relax. I didn’t tell you because Wakanda had their own problems and I didn’t want to involve you.” You spoke before she could muster out another question. 

“Y/N is right. My homeland did have its own affairs to deal with. I asked her to keep it on the low. But I am glad to finally meet the person she talks so much about.” You grabbed her arm causing her to look down at you. 

“How long do you think you have?” As soon as the question left your mouth a voice spoke out from her kimoyo beads. Riri looked around the room before Shuri held up her wrist.

“Shuri?” A voice sang and you looked up at the princess with a worried glance. 

“Mother.” She replied softly. 

“I sent Okoye to fetch you only for her to come back and tell me, you are not here. Is there a reason you aren’t at the palace right now?” The queen asked and Shuri gave a nervous laugh.

“I just stepped away from the palace for a couple minutes. Needed to grab some things.” She lied trying to cover her tracks.

“Did you forget I can track location daughter.” The queen said with a firm tone that even you couldn’t lie to her.

“Hi Queen Ramonda.” You mumbled a greeting and the queen gave a soft laugh.

“Hello sweet Y/N. Please make sure my daughter returns at an appropriate time.” She said to you and you nodded even though she couldn’t see me. 

“I’ll return soon mother. Just wanted to come see her.” Shuri said before kissing you temple.

“I understand child. Just remember to tell me next time.” The queen mused, causing her daughter to roll her eyes. You now see where Shuri got her habit of checking locations from.

“Understood. Now I gotta go.”

The conversation ended and you grabbed your purse and Shuri’s hand as you dashed to the door.

“I’ll be back later!” You called out to Riri who was still stunned by the entire ordeal. 

“But what about the class work?” She motioned to your desk still covered in notebook paper.

“Finish it for me. Please? I’ll owe you big time!” You shouted going out the door before she could respond. She stared at the door you just locked and shook her head.

“Ain’t that some shit.”

[omkarpaper]

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[double-0h-no]

Order's Up

Prompt fill from the collab table for @meadowcastiel Thank you so much, and you've brought this onto yourself, and I love you, and all that.

on ao3

The local coffee shop closing down for renovation might be the biggest crisis the admin office has faced of yet.

Eve Moneypenny was late.

Not that he was bothered by her tardiness, not at all. It just stood out in comparison to her usual punctuality, and maybe he worried a bit about her even if she was only two minutes running behind.

At four minutes past eight, she entered his office without knocking and an apologetic expression on her face.

"Good morning. Pardon my delay, I already had to deal with a major inconvenience this morning that might immobilise at least half of admin," she said, a tone of sardonic foreboding in her voice, and he raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"Our usual coffee place is closed for two weeks due to renovation."

Mallory, fortunately and unfortunately, was a practical man. So when he heard "this place is closed down for a while" he heard "we have to get our coffee from a different spot". He also knew how very habit-driven and opinionated some of his staff was.

"That does indeed sound concerning. Does that mean no coffee this morning?"

She grimaced somewhat apologetically. "I couldn't go quite that far, but..."

With something akin to embarrassment, she produced two Starbucks paper cups.

"I see the dilemma."

"It's the only other place to get coffee on the block. It's... not the best solution." He nodded in deep consideration.

"Do you think the department will make it through two weeks?"

Eve shrugged. "Either that, or they'll have to start bringing their coffee from home or another place on their way in to work. Will you survive?"

If he was honest, he didn't have a lot of standards concerning his coffee. He'd like to blame it on his time with the military, but he knew enough people who'd come from the same tracks and turned into right snobs after all. And yet...

"Go get your tablet, Eve, and I'll give you my opinion after we went over our daily schedule."

She nodded, put down the two paper cups, and returned just a minute later with her usual assortment of files, notebook, and tablet.

After the meeting he didn't much remember the taste of the coffee anymore, but it was empty, which was good enough for him. Eve looked decidedly less than happy.

"You could pick it up at a different spot. Or only get one for yourself, I'll make do with the canteen coffee for a week."

Her expression turned grim at his fighting words. "Nobody should ever go through two weeks of canteen coffee, not even Anna." Which said a lot, actually. Eve was not shy to wish the bubonic plague on her counterpart in accounting. "There's only a Costa on my way here, apart from that, and I'd rather have my coffee hot than pick it up at the beginning of the road. Costa's not much better than Starbucks."

Mallory gave her a faint smile. "Well, it's all on us, really."

"Sir?"

"We probably financed their renovation." At that, Eve had to grin, too, and at least left his office with a warm smile. And nothing was more important than to keep his secretary in a good mood.

He only noticed it two days later, when he was stuck in a horrible meeting online that stretched way longer than it should. In his boredom, he had moved on to reading the label on his paper cup, when something struck him as... faintly concerning. It was the entered name printed on the label taped to his cup. It simply read 'M'.

It struck him as ludicrous. For one, his designation was meant exactly for that - to keep his name hidden in operations - but a trip to Starbucks could hardly be called that. And Eve wouldn't just give it away on a whim, either. If she was asked for his name, she either gave a random one, or his last name. It wasn't as if it was a mystery. He dealt with too many people to only be known under his designated letter, had shaken too many hands to not be known by the time he'd become M. It was more of an honorary thing for him, really.

And now it was printed on his Starbucks paper cup.

Curious.

The mention of his name called his attention back to his screen and he did his best to forget about the incident altogether for the rest of the day.

When he inspected his paper cup the next day, the name only said "-", and that was that.

The following day, they were back to M. The day after, too. On Friday, he investigated Moneypenny's cup, too, and found an M printed on it as well as on his.

Could it be that they used her initial letter? Moneypenny  was a rather long name to spell out, after all, and maybe - Well, maybe he was just being paranoid. The most likely solution, actually. Then again, while nobody had yet died of being too cautious, the opposite certainly rang true.

"Something wrong with the coffee, sir? Apart from the obvious, I mean."

"I was just wondering about the label," he admitted, then trashed the empty cup.

"The label?"

"The name section always either says nothing, or there's a single M in it. It surprised me a bit when I first saw it, but I assume it's just a shortcut for your name."

Now, Eve furrowed her brows, too. "I never give my name. They almost know my order by heart now, and I'm the only person in there in the mornings who orders for her entire office. Rather memorable on its own."

It was an odd comfort, to see that she was immediately as suspicious as he'd been. If it was unhealthy paranoia, at least he wasn't sinking with that ship all on his own.

"I'm sure it's nothing," he now tried to reassure her. "Was there anything else you need signed for that grant?"

And back to business it was.

The next morning, Eve came into his room, broad smile on her face and two cups of Starbucks coffee in her hands, and enthusiastically took a seat in front of his desk, presenting him with his customary cup.

"I've figured it out."

He raised his eyebrows expectantly. "With the good mood you're in, I thought we were back to our usual coffee."

"No, but it's Friday, so this is the last concoction of that variety the both of us have to endure. And I solved the mystery of the M on our orders. It's a typo."

How could a single letter be a typo? Apparently, his expression already spoke volumes, because Eve continued triumphantly: "On the keyboard of their system, the M is right next to the dash. Usually, they don’t enter a name for the customer in the system, so they fill in the spot with a dash, because it has to be filled somehow. Now, if you rush through the process because things are busy and digital systems always take too long to process anyway, you occasionally hit the key next to the dash. With a frightening regularity, I might say.

"And that's how we all ended up with orders for M." A smug smile decorated her face while Mallory still couldn't fully comprehend the banality of it all.

"How did you figure it out?"

Eve shrugged nonchalantly. "I asked. Said that both my and my boss's name started with an M and it creeps us out a bit. Cashier started laughing and explained it to me while making our drinks. So no big conspiracy, for once. And from Monday on we'll be back to our usual order."

With a broad smile on her face, she left his office again and he could hear her greet Tanner before the door closed.

A typo. If all government mysteries could be solved that easily.

[justforbooks]

Gerald Cinamon

Chief designer for Penguin Books with a flair for pacing illustrated nonfiction, such as with Pelican’s Style and Civilization series

Gerald Cinamon, who has died aged 93, was one of the most skilled book designers of his generation. For 20 years from 1965 he was Penguin Books’ main designer of arts and architecture titles, becoming its chief designer in the mid-1970s.

A master of the paste-up method of layout, Cinamon was particularly adept at pacing illustrated books. From one spread to the next he would shift visual emphasis from vertical to horizontal, wide-angle to close-up, empty to full, synchronising these switches of treatment with key points in the text.

His debut for Penguin in 1961 coincided with two key events for the company: its acquittal in the Lady Chatterley’s Lover trial, and its employment of Germano Facetti, who recharged its cover designs for a new decade. But it was Kaye Webb, new editor at the Puffin imprint, who instigated the body of work for which Cinamon would become best known.

Webb had compiled a volume of her husband Ronald Searle’s St Trinian’s cartoons, and handed Cinamon, then a freelancer, “a box of jumbled clippings” from which to create a Penguin edition. He would paste up layouts at his kitchen table in Notting Hill, west London, surrounded by manuscripts, proofs and the aroma of Cow Gum, downing tools when his daughters returned from school.

The St Trinian’s Story (1961) led to further commissions for illustrated Penguins, and Cinamon unintentionally became a specialist in this field, at a time when letterpress was rapidly being replaced by offset litho as the means of printing books.

Where type and images had previously occupied two discrete planes – pictures on their own pages, often on coated art paper – litho enabled designers to place picture and text side-by-side, and Cinamon took advantage of this, interweaving halftones and line images with set type to make a verbal–visual narrative. His flair for sequencing nonfiction books led him to become the main designer of Pelican series of the 60s and 70s such as Style and Civilization and The Architect and Society.

The integrated method was also crucial to John Berger’s Success and Failure of Picasso (1965). There the author indicated precise points within the text where images were to be placed. When Cinamon inevitably found that this was not always possible, Penguin dispatched him to Geneva to resolve the layout with Berger.

In 1966 Penguin launched a hardback imprint, for which Cinamon designed A Fortunate Man: The Story of a Country Doctor, written by Berger and with photographs by Jean Mohr. The contrast between these two books for Berger demonstrates the span of Cinamon’s repertoire, despite the contextual similarities (same author, same publisher, single-colour print, a hand-held format).

Where Success and Failure’s layout rolled line by line with Berger’s polemic, A Fortunate Man’s images did not correlate with points in the text, and this allowed Cinamon to “write” the text–photo combinations, and the overall rhythm, in his own way. His arrangement is particularly effective in contrasting man with his rural environment: 45 pages pass before a human figure appears in the photographs.

Though sometimes categorised as a proponent of the objective, modernist Swiss style of graphic design, Cinamon’s solutions to briefs were far broader than that tag implies. His colleague Tony Kitzinger remembers his outlook as being “Swiss, tempered by New England”.

Born in Boston, Massachusetts, Jerry was the younger son of Pearl (nee Hirschberg) and Max, a liquor salesman. He initially studied at Massachusetts School of Art, and in 1953 joined the US Navy. He was then accepted by the department of graphic arts at Yale University, where his teachers included Alvin Eisenman, Armin Hofmann, Norman Ives, Josef Albers, Herbert Matter and Paul Rand.

Graduating in 1957, Cinamon received a Fulbright scholarship for the Ecole des Arts et Métiers in Paris, but found the approach there outmoded, so drove to Switzerland to study further with Hofmann in Basel. He was thus influenced first-hand by several key strands of the modern movement, from the Bauhaus to the new American advertising.

On the way home from Europe he met Diana Philcox, a recent textiles graduate from the Central School of Arts and Crafts in London. In New York Cinamon freelanced for publishers, and took up a one-year contract at Standard Oil of New Jersey (subsequently Exxon). In 1959 he and Philcox married, and in the following year moved with their twin baby daughters to Britain. Cinamon’s first clients in London included New Left Books and the Jewish-interest publisher Soncino.

After more than 20 years with Penguin, he left in 1985 to form a partnership with Kitzinger, who said of his former partner: “When I think of Jerry I do not see the kind of designer who shuffles little bits of paper around on a sheet. He would know, in advance, what he was realising.”

In 1987 Cinamon guest-edited a special issue of the trade journal Monotype Recorder in memory of Hans Schmoller, the exacting production director at Penguin (1949-76), who had been a “father figure” to him. He also wrote on the work of artist-designers including Talwin Morris, Ben Shahn and Emil Rudolf Weiß.

His biography of the type designer Rudolf Koch (2000), includes an apparently stray anecdote about a “young Berliner” who in 1933 had applied to become one of Koch’s students but had been turned away. The young Berliner was Schmoller.

Cinamon’s third daughter, Hannah, died in 2023. He is survived by Diana, their daughters Sara, Kate and Beth, eight grandchildren and a great-granddaughter.

🔔 Gerald Earl Cinamon, graphic designer and author, born 27 July 1930; died 15 February 2024

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[sillysybilsden]

PART II

Click here to check out Part I.

Now that we know what a Lararium is, it is time to start making your own. Let us see how to go about doing that, shall we?

1. Find inspiration

The Internet will be your best friend. In order to find inspiration, I would personally recommend searching for Lararia from Pompeii or Herculaneum (due to the eruption of Vesuvius in 79 CE, these archaeological sites show perfect examples of Ancient Roman shrines, untouched by time).

You may want to select the Lararia that draw your attention the most and put them all either in a moodboard or in a Pinterest board. You will look at these pictures frequently, so keeping them all in one place might come in handy.

2. Draw your project

Start your project by drawing the Lararium you would like to make. It will take quite some creativity from you, so take your time with it and keep brainstorming until you are satisfied with your sketch. This is mine:

3. Start planning

Now is the time to figure out the measurements of your project and, after that, collect the supplies you will need. Me, I had to gather some wood, glue, acrylics, paper, a ruler and a pencil. As for the measurements...

4. Cutting process

Shoutout to my grandfather who helped me with this process.

Take your time to cut all of the pieces of your project and sand them down, if needed. Be particularly mindful when working with wood.

5. Assemble your shrine

Glue all the pieces together. You can use hot glue, vinyl glue or similar solutions depending on your preference.

6. Take care of the details

Time to colour your Lararium! After all, Romans did love colourful things (just look at any house in Pompeii). The palette is really up to you and your preference. Me, I will go for earthy tones.

Also, remember to print a picture of the domestic gods so that you can glue it on your shrine! In alternative, you can also attempt to painting it yourself.

And voilà! There you have your personal Lararium!

I hope that you liked this "DIY" and that you found this post informative! If searching for further readings, check out the "IV. Resources" section.

- Silly Sybil

🌿 Posted in honour of my twin Lares. 🌿

➳ vRoma /Lararium

➳ Nova Roma /Lararium

➳ Nova Roma /Making a Lararium

➳ Ad Maiora Vertite /Suppellettili Sacre

➳ Ritus Romanus: Make an offering to your Gods (pdf)

➳ Saturnia Tellus /Il mistero dei larari d'argento naufragati a Comacchio: sono doni di Augusto?

➳ Viotti E., "La via romana agli dèi"

➳ Orr D. G., "Domestic Roman Religion"

➳ Flower H. I., "The Dancing Lares & the Serpent in the Garden"

[multifandomimagin3s]

The Mercenary

A/N: So I received a lot of requests for a fic based on my Mercenary!Reader headcanons post, it's a bit short and sweet but I hope you guys like it ~

Warnings: Violence and strong language - am I making the reader basically a female deadpool? probably.

The tension in the room was so thick it could be cut with a knife. Price struggled to contain his anger as he peered at the screen in front of him, seeing Laswell was in a similar state herself. General Shepard continued, undeterred by their visible annoyance;

"I have hired someone who I know will help to get the job done," He drawled," They're efficient and while they may come from a questionable background, I can't afford for any more failures, Captain."

Price could feel his blood begin to boil - it was practically a direct insult to him, and to his taskforce. Since when did his team need any help to get a job done, and done right? It was practically a slap in the face.

"Sir, I understand your concerns - but is contracting a mercenary really the best solution for this?" Laswell interjected, " The last mission gave us valuable intel, we have leads on a few of Hassan's associates, I don't understand why we need to hire them when 141 have shown that they're more than capable of handling things as a unit."

"Granted that is true - but I'm not taking any chances here," Shepard gruffly retorted. For whatever reason, he really was dead set on contracting this Mercenary. Naturally, it made Price more than suspicious as to what his motives were.

"Captain," Price bit the inside of his cheek, as his eyes all but burned through the webcam at his Superior," The Mercenary will be touching down on base tomorrow, with an ETA of 12 hundred hours - see to it that they're debriefed on the mission before extraction."

----------------------------

"There's no picture here," Laswell flipped through the pages in the manilla file," Wait - there's one... but all the faces are blurred out..."

"Hm," Price folded his arms over his chest," Must mean that whoever Shepard hired must be considered dangerous enough to warrant that kind of secrecy..."

"There's 10 people in this photo - he could have hired any of them," Laswell separated the pages, spreading them across the table top," All we have is their callsign, not much else to go on..."

Price hummed. It wasn't unlike Shepard to only give out information he deemed "necessary" - whatever he chose to not disclose at the time usually came as a surprise after the fact, and typically it wasn't pleasant.

"I haven't seen this symbol before," Laswell turned the paper to face Price; there were two logos printed in stark black and white - one being the signature wolf emblem seen on KorTac operatives, and the other appearing to be some species of snake, gaping mouth open with sharp fangs prepared to strike.

"Serpentes," Price clicked his tongue," They're a subsidiary of KorTac, haven't seen any of their operatives in the field in nearly a decade."

"Why would Shepard hire from KorTac?" It was basically a rhetorical question and the both of them knew that. Shepard kept his cards close to his chest - his half-arsed excuse didn't sit well with either of them but the more they pushed the General, the further away they would get from finding out the actual truth.

"Haven't the foggiest," Price sighed, scratching his chin," But whoever he's hired, they better not be a fuckin' nutter."

-----------------------------------------------

You didn't expect to be 'best of buds' with the Task Force upon your first interaction with them - with everything you've heard about 141 from Shepard, and from your team-mates, you weren't anticipating the warmest of welcomes either. But it didn't put you off any - you'd been hired to work with them, so if you were to kill each other before you even got out onto the field, then what good would that be?

As soon as the hatch door of the helicopter opened, you were greeted by the sight of a bearded man dressed in the standard khaki army uniform - if you excluded the bucket hat on his head. You had to admit he was quite handsome - but you weren't so stupid as to let that drop your guard, especially when in a foreign area.

You swung your duffel bag over your shoulder, descending down the ramp towards him. His eyes flickered across the mask adorning your face, as if trying to burn through the material and see the face beneath. It was a natural response, you thought - even though you were dressed in what would equate to 'skivvys,' the fact he didn't know what you looked like and definitely didn't know your name was probably setting off alarm bells in his head.

"Captain Price," He grunted with a tight-lipped smile, holding his hand out for you to shake as if it pained him," And you must be the Mercenary."

"Yep," You replied, in a tone that was just a bit too chipper for his liking," Call me 'Copperhead."

"Like the snake? Very fitting."

"Yeah, well - we tried 'Black Mamba' and 'Australian Brown Snake' but the first sounded a like a sex toy, and the latter was too long."

Price almost choked on his own spit. It was kind of amusing to watch the man splutter to find the right words - if you were in his ranks you probably would have been scolded a bit for that, but you weren't.

"Right, well," He was quick to recompose himself but didn't meet your eyes," Follow me - the team are awaiting your arrival for a debrief on the mission."

-----------------------------------------

As soon as you stepped into the meeting room, three pairs of eyes locked onto you. You stuck out a bit like a sore thumb in comparison to the rest - the casual uniform for your regiment was a deep burgundy top, not unlike the military's, but paired with burgundy cargos with gold trims on the pockets.

"Boys, this is 'Copperhead," Price nodded to the group whilst keeping a slight distance between you both. You felt like rolling your eyes but restrained yourself - as if you'd kill him in his own territory when on payroll," Copperhead - Sergeant Gaz Garrick; Sergeant Soap MacTavish; Lieutenant Ghost."

Garrick and Soap seemed to practically lounge in their chairs, giving you a brief nod in recognition as their names were called. Their eyes were trained on you the entire time, showing that despite how relaxed they appeared, they absolutely hadn't let their guard down.

Ghost shifted slightly in his chair, dark eyes burning through the eyeholes of his mask. His posture was practically poker-straight, arms folded across his chest - he was clearly sizing you up.

"Copperhead? What's the craic there?" Soap enquired - he too had an unusual call sign, as he'd been told many times over the years.

"Hey, I got lucky - some poor fucker ended up with milk snake," You replied, dumping your duffel next to the door," Was a choice between Copperhead or Diamond Back for a while - both were a good fit but Copperhead stuck."

"Diamond back?" Gaz enquired with a confused expression.

"Because I have an amazing arse." Soap and Gaz snorted a laugh. Ghost, however, appeared to be unamused - well, it was hard to tell what he was actually feeling considering you couldn't see his face. But the gruff "fuckin' 'ell" told you what you needed to know. You smirked under your mask - he was going to be the most fun to wind up.

"Alright - enough of the pleasantries," Price interjected, coming to stand at the end of the room," Let's get to what we're all here for - the mission."

-----------------------------------------------

"So, the uniform," Soap enquired, leaning back slightly in his chair as he gestured to your clothing," Is that to go with the name or is that just standard issue for you lot?"

It was quite strange as to how quickly he started to try and make idle chat with you - while his comrade Gaz seemed to similarly be relatively relaxed in your presence, he still aired on the side of caution.

"Bit of both," You shrugged," Different uniforms for different missions - the red and gold is pretty much standard, goes with that old saying that people use to identify potentially dangerous snakes."

He looked at you perplexed. Ghost's deep voice piped up, and you noted how he rolled his eyes - whether that was directed at you or his comrades, you weren't entirely certain: "Red touches yellow - kill a fellow."

"Makes sense, you know," You half-hazardly gestured to the snake emblem plastered to your outer bicep," It;s kind of poetic, right? Although, it does also kind of give McDonalds vibes - good thing the tactical suits are less ugly."

"You're out on the field to kill - it's not a bloody fashion show," Came Ghost's blunt reply.

You smiled widely, eyes crinkling at the corners," Just 'cause I'm splattering people's brains across the wall doesn't mean I can't look sexy doing it - and trust me, I do."

"I couldn't give less of a fuck if you looked like Margot fuckin' Robbie under that mask," You could tell his blood pressure was rising by the second and it made you want to kick your feet in glee," You're a Mercenary and quite frankly it doesn't matter how good you are, if you get in the way or try and betray us, I'll take you out myself."

There was a beat of silence. Now, any other soldier would have probably curl up into a ball after having been gutted out by the Lieutenant - any normal person would have practically pissed themselves at the sheer sight of him. Soap and Gaz's eyes flitted between their comrade and you, as if torn between being engrossed in the dynamic between you both and preparing for Ghost to actually strangle you.

"Wow - have only known you for five minutes and you're already talking dirty to me," You cooed in a slightly mocking tone," You work fast, Ghost."

"Shut the fuck up, you tit -"

"When you said you'd take me out - did you mean with a sniper or like on a date? Because hey, we can see how the mission goes, I'm game for either -"

"I swear to fucking god-!!"

"Mission debrief is over!" Price boomed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his index and thumb," Soap - take Copperhead to their room, and all of you get the fuck out of here, now."

The room fell into complete silence, as Soap got up to escort you off to wherever on the base they'd decided would be fit for you. You sent a wink to Ghost's agitated form, chuckling as you picked up your duffel," Look forward to working with you, Dream Team."

Soap shook his head, fighting the smile about to crawl onto his face. He could feel the eyes of both his superiors burning into the back of his skull. He was no fool, and he knew that despite how jovial you seemed, you were a trained killer. So he wouldn't be letting you get too close to him.

Gaz left shortly after you and Soap made your swift departure. Ghost stared at the door, as if trying to shoot lasers through it and down the corridor to where you were.

"Lieutenant - a word?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"I want you to keep a close eye on that one," Price spoke lowly, as if you could hear through walls.

Ghost gritted his teeth at the prospect of having to work alongside you. As far as he was concerned, you were a massive pain in the arse and the fact that you couldn't be trusted just gave him all the more reason to dislike you.

"I've already read through their file - not much information, Laswell's working on it, but what's there is more than enough to make you watch your six."

"Affirmative, sir."

"As you know, pick-up is at 0600 tomorrow - until we know more about the Mercenary, we can't take any chances," Price shook his head in thought," God knows why Shepard hired them... if they're as dangerous as their file says, then we have our work cut out for us."

Thank you guys for reading! ~