#Best Mum Badge

[explosiondigitalcomwant]

[mecachrome]

notes from nicole piastri's interview on red flags pod

oscar started playing monopoly and chess when he was 4-5 but he was too good at chess (relative to nicole) that she boycotted it

nicole opened her twitter account because oscar wasn't replying to her at boarding school and she needed a place to chastise him ("can you not answer... i KNOW you're on your phone") (it worked because he started replying to her there)

instead of unflappable she calls him "conservative"

even during christmas and birthdays he was never super excited, one time they went with a group of 5 mums and 5 kids to a hi-5 concert (popular australian kids' musical group) and while all the kids were "going nuts" oscar just sat there "focused the whole time" and didn't smile or move lmfao. they were like 3 years old

didn't know what she was doing with oscar as a baby because he was her first child and her mothers' group was her only reference and they went "isn't the best part of the day when you wake up and go to their crib and they smile at you?" and she was like ??? because oscar would wake up and just SCREAM every single day needing to be out of there immediately and she thought that was just normal... then she had the girls and went "ahhhh... so that's what they're talking about"

when he was younger than 2 he needed them to read car magazines to him and was already obsessed with all things automotive and while they were driving would just name off and point out car brands by their badges

for a long period of time he behaved like he was a car and would "spin" his wheels and pretend to accelerate and run like a car lol

did a big burnout the first time he was on a bike (it had training wheels but he still learned very early)

as a mum she wishes he'd chosen golf or tennis since it's much safer than f1 and sometimes people tell her that she technically had a say in that when he was a kid and she said "but i didn't! it was just in him!!!"

won an academic award when he was 13 and she was president of the parents' community so she presented it to him, normally these events are super formal and you simply shake hands but she gave him a big kiss and instead of acting embarrassed or spluttering he looked at the crowd, nodded silently, and walked off

came back for the summer a few years ago and they were biking on the beach together when she had to brake hard to avoid a kid and went over, when she recovered and got back on he went "are you all right?" very deadpan but after they got home they checked his heart rate monitor and saw that he was totally steady the whole time except for when she crashed and his heart rate went through the roof, told him "ah so you do have a heart... we just don't see it"

"there's no sibling that can piss him off?" "well he's a boy with three girls so he just doesn't go there because he's never going to win"

met lily in person for the first time when he came home for the melbourne grand prix (was still alpine reserve), at midnight oscar was like "hey mum you know the dts film crew are coming tomorrow morning right?" and she was like WHAT... and he was like yeah it'll be chill they just want to film us having breakfast like a normal family or whatever and she was like Mate you haven't lived here for 5 years now do you know what breakfast looks like. it looks like your sisters storming downstairs and grabbing an inappropriate breakfast and storming out the door giving me the finger!!! and then the next morning lily comes down and nicole is like "oh is oscar up?" and lily is like no... i think he's still in bed... (many such cases) and then mae refused to be in it so she got dressed and ran off to school 2 hours early to escape them. and then the mclaren fiasco happened and the whole thing got cut out of dts anyway

when she said "oh my god you met matt damon!" he was just like (shrugs) "yeah... yeah..."

they communicate by facetiming and he's Always lying in bed. one time in bahrain he was leaning back on an ornate tapestry and she asked what hotel he was staying at and he was like oh i'm at the royal palace i'm like a guest of the crown prince. she freaked out and was like "oh my god!!! get your head off the tapestry!!!" and he just looked back like ? no it's fine it looks pretty old lol

called her to tell her that he signed his f1 contract and when he said mclaren she Realized and was like oh no i love daniel!! and he straight up deadpanned "yeah everyone loves daniel. that's going to be a problem..." and said verbatim "of all the f1 drivers ever daniel is the worst one to be replacing"

one time in f4 chris couldn't go to a race and billy monger had just had his crash so she flew to the uk for the weekend to support him and when she was driving him back to boarding school she was happy because she had 2 hours to spend with him and she wasn't sure when she'd see him again but instead he slept the whole way through and the moment they got back to school he went "ahhhh... home sweet home" and she wanted to slap him lmfao

first day of primary school when he was 5 years old he said he didn't need her to walk him to school and she was like "well i actually do mate" so he forced her to walk behind him the whole way and the moment they got there he turned to her and went "all right i'm here you can go now" 😭

the chinese & italian & yugoslavian is on chris's side of the family while nicole's is scottish & irish ("that's where the pasty skin comes from")

red flags pod sent her a shirt with oscar's face composed of His Tweet and she showed it to him and he immediately said he wanted it

he gave her a small warning before he posted the tweet but it was just like "mum so this is going to happen just don't worry about it. it's all under control. it'll be fine" and was very calm the whole time

"we just had to trust that his personality would come through at some point, because the way he came across was not at all what he's like. people will work out who the real you is so just continue to do what you do" 🥺

all of the kids were obsessed with Cars (2006)

likes his mum's golden syrup dumplings and grandmother's rumballs

AT THE SINGAPORE GP IN 2023 HATTIE DISAPPEARED FOR HOURS TO GO SEE A K-POP CONCERT 😭😭😭😭 i think it was p1h lmfao (nicole was asked for her favorite group and went "i have no idea. five boys") ((it's txt)) meanwhile oscar is only into house music and she thinks everything he plays is the same song

did pilates when he went home but never with her and thinks it's a lot harder than it looks

takes him minimum 24 hours to respond to anything she sends

she had an exact conversation with oscar where she asked who he wanted to be teammates with and he said "well if i go up against lando i don't even have to get close the first year because everyone knows how good he is" 😭

oscar you are so you 🧡

[hollowed-theory-hall]

The Weasleys Aren't Great Parents...

I know a lot here love to talk about how the Weasleys were so good to take Harry in and all that... But the truth is, the parenting skills of Molly and Arthur Weasley are questionable at best.

I'm not saying they don't love their kids and Harry — they do, and they do so honestly. I'm just here to say they aren't actually a good example of parenting.

Like, when fans talk about the Weasleys what I usually see is either treating them like they are a perfect example of a family or unfair bashing. So, while I definitely believe that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley love their kids, this post showcases where their parenting skills are lacking...

So, the Weasleys, to Harry, seem like the perfect example of a happy, loving family. Now, I'm not saying there isn't love there, but the family dynamics we see aren't great, to put it lightly. Harry just has no reference for anything better.

Children Running Away

The first thing I want to mention here is that all Weasley children leave the Burrow and their parents the first chance they get.

Bill goes to work for Gringotts in Egypt.

Charlie goes to tame dragons in Romania.

Percy, well, Percy is a whole can of worms right there. But once his parents shun him for being more successful than his father in the ministry, he doesn't look back.

Fred and George leave Hogwarts in the middle of their seventh year and move out of home then, before their even done with school.

I don't think that's normal. This is what we see in houses where there is mistreatment of children, so they don't want to stay any moment longer than necessary. Because all of this, what all of them did, was running away from home.

Each of these Weasleys was seventeen — maybe eighteen when he chose to leave (sometimes the country). This is running away, even if they still talk to their parents, they did rub away from living under the same roof.

This already suggests to me something unhealthy is going on there.

favoritism

Any child psychologist would tell you one of the worst things a parent could do is pick favorites amongst their children. All children, favored or not, suffer from it.

And Mr. And Mrs. Weasley.... well, they showcase favoritism constantly, here is an example from Order of the Phoenix:

“Get him red and gold to match his badge,” said George, smirking. “Match his what?” said Mrs. Weasley absently, rolling up a pair of maroon socks and placing them on Ron’s pile. “His badge,” said Fred, with the air of getting the worst over quickly. “His lovely shiny new prefect’s badge.” Fred’s words took a moment to penetrate Mrs. Weasley’s preoccupation about pajamas. “His . . . but . . . Ron, you’re not. . . ?” Ron held up his badge. Mrs. Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione’s. “I don’t believe it! I don’t believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That’s everyone in the family!” “What are Fred and I, next-door neighbors?” said George indignantly, as his mother pushed him aside and flung her arms around her youngest son.

(Order of the Pheonix, page 163)

Molly is so glad to have prefects in the family, that she actually ignores the fact Fred and George aren't prefects and are her kids. George actually calls her out on it, except she isn't actually listening to him l. No, she pushes him aside. This treatment is insane, and I don't blame them for up and leaving the moment they turned seventeen.

This favoritism is seen more, this is from Chamber of Secrets:

“Sorry, Mum, but see, we had to —” All three of Mrs. Weasley’s sons were taller than she was, but they cowered as her rage broke over them. “Beds empty! No note! Car gone — could have crashed — out of my mind with worry — did you care? — never, as long as I’ve lived — you wait until your father gets home, we never had trouble like this from Bill or Charlie or Percy —” “Perfect Percy,” muttered Fred. “YOU COULD DO WITH TAKING A LEAF OUT OF PERCY’S BOOK!” yelled Mrs. Weasley, prodding a finger in Fred’s chest. “You could have died, you could have been seen, you could have lost your father his job —” It seemed to go on for hours. Mrs. Weasley had shouted herself hoarse before she turned on Harry, who backed away. “I’m very pleased to see you, Harry, dear,” she said. “Come in and have some breakfast.”

(Chamber of Secrets, page 38)

Prefect Percy is better than Fred and George and they should learn from him and be more like him, according to Mrs. Weasley. This sort of comparison between children is really harmful to their development and is frowned upon by most. Definitely by me.

Not to mention how Harry is definitely a favorite of hers, so much so he does not get shouted at for the same crime, but get's food. That is honestly the bare minimum she can do for him considering...

Harry's Abuse

The Weasleys are aware of Harry's abuse. They are made aware of it time and time again, and with all their love for Harry — they do nothing more than give him food when he asks. I don't think I need to explain why this is terrible.

“I don’t blame you, dear,” she assured Harry, tipping eight or nine sausages onto his plate. “Arthur and I have been worried about you, too. Just last night we were saying we’d come and get you ourselves if you hadn’t written back to Ron by Friday. But really” (she was now adding three fried eggs to his plate), “flying an illegal car halfway across the country — anyone could have seen you —” She flicked her wand casually at the dishes in the sink, which began to clean themselves, clinking gently in the background. “It was cloudy, Mum!” said Fred. “You keep your mouth closed while you’re eating!” Mrs. Weasley snapped.“They were starving him, Mum!” said George. “And you!” said Mrs. Weasley, but it was with a slightly softened expression that she started cutting Harry bread and buttering it for him.

(Chamber of Secrets, page 39)

George here outright tells her Harry was being starved — this goes ignored. When Harry writes to her to send him food, she sends it, but doesn't ask him why he isn't being fed:

She had no idea that Harry was not following the diet at all. The moment he had got wind of the fact that he was expected to survive the summer on carrot sticks, Harry had sent Hedwig to his friends with pleas for help … Hagrid, the Hogwarts gamekeeper, had obliged with a sack full of his own homemade rock cakes. (Harry hadn’t touched these; he had had too much experience of Hagrid’s cooking.) Mrs. Weasley, however, had sent the family owl, Errol, with an enormous fruitcake and assorted meat pies.

(Goblet of Fire, page 28)

No, she sent him food but didn't bother doing anything to help a child out of a clearly abusive situation. Not even asking why he isn't getting enough food.

Arthur Weasley isn't any better. He knows just as much as Molly and even met Harry's pleasant relatives:

“Harry said good-bye to you,” he said. “Didn’t you hear him?” “It doesn’t matter,” Harry muttered to Mr. Weasley. “Honestly, I don’t care.” Mr. Weasley did not remove his hand from Harry’s shoulder. “You aren’t going to see your nephew till next summer,” he said to Uncle Vernon in mild indignation. “Surely you’re going to say good-bye?”

(Goblet of Fire, page 48)

He acts as if the Dursleys are normal. As if a child saying their caretakers wouldn't care he wasn't there isn't cause for alarm. No, Arthur Weasley just thought it impolite and odd, but not enough to actually do something to help Harry. Just annoy Uncle Vernon.

Blaming Kids For Things Not Their Fault

“You?” she said, catching her teacup as it scampered happily away across the desk on four sturdy little willow-patterned legs and replacing it in front of her. “Why should I be worried about you?” “When Mum’s next letter finally gets through Umbridge’s screening process,” said Ron bitterly, now holding his cup up while its frail legs tried feebly to support its weight, “I’m going to be in deep trouble. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s sent a Howler again.” “But —” “It’ll be my fault Fred and George left, you wait,” said Ron darkly. “She’ll say I should’ve stopped them leaving, I should’ve grabbed the ends of their brooms and hung on or something. . . . Yeah, it’ll be all my fault. . . .”

(Order of the Pheonix, page 679)

After Fred and George leave Hogwarts, Ron tells Hermione she should worry about him because he would suffer their mother's ire. He speaks about it as if it's a regular occurrence. Like he regularly gets blamed for Feed and George's mishaps when the twins aren't there.

This is incredibly unfair to Ron, Fred, and George. There is no reason Ron should fear his parent's response for something he had no control over.

Conclusions

As I stated above, I don't think Arthur and Molly Weasley are abusive or neglectful or that they don't love their kids. They are far from perfect, loving, and dotting parents I see them sometimes portrayed as. Neither are they as awful as I sometimes see them. Like many characters in this series, they are more complex than that.

[callmewrinkles3]

Nothing new - DR3 x Fem!OC

Masterlist

Summary: Some decisions are difficult and bittersweet to make. During rocky times, sadness can be an unwise advisor, but with friends and family around, taking those decisions becomes easier.

Warnings: Fluff. Angst. Sex talk. Pregnancy talk. Mentions of mental health issues, pregnancy loss, injuries and past crashes -we don’t like you, Zandvoort 23- and past abusive family. McLaren being mentioned too, sorry.

Words: 16.2k

A/N: HELLO AGAIN. After a little post this morning we’re finally back with our long-as-hell-oneshot regular schedule. Let’s forget about what happened in Zandvoort for our own mental health 😌 Hope you like this mess of a oneshot, hope you are all well and promise we’re gonna post soon. See you around, kiddos.🫶🏻

June 2024.

If Em had to put a date on it, she'd say it started during Monaco weekend. But in her heart and soul she knew it was before then. It started with the realization that she didn't want to return to work. She wanted to just be Lulu's mum and Dan's wife and do it properly. She couldn't do both that and get back to work as Dan's assistant and do it right.

She simply didn't want to run around people anymore. She didn't want to squeeze through the paddock and the pit lane to organise things and get Dan on track. She was there anyway because she was Dan's wife. She was always going to support him. But now she had a chance to do it because she chose to, not because she had to.

It started while she was standing in the garage after FP3 in Monaco while she watched the sponsors looking at their brands neatly printed on the car. She understood people's passion for cars even though she didn't share them. However, she was disgusted by the men in suits who were only there to be there and take photos. That was the day she admitted she didn't want to go back to work and deal with them.

Em knew it all started with McLaren. She could make a ridiculously long list of the things the orange team took from her and her family. Her and Dan's physical and mental well-being was at the top of the list. A close second was her trust in people when she finally learned how to. She'd begun to make friends and trust and open up to people, but it was ripped away so suddenly it left a brand new wound that she was still trying to heal.

The other major thing they ruined was how much she adored her job. And if she was brutally honest with herself in therapy with Mildred she could admit it hurt the most. She loved her job. At the beginning when Dan told her she was getting paid it felt weird. Being paid by the man she was sleeping with and who she loved? It was strange. But she loved the job and the work she did. It gave Em a reason to be in the paddock and spend time with her boys. Working by Blake's side every day made her happy. She had a reason to spend basically every day with her best friend. Even when they joked they were sick of each other, Blake would give her a hug and swear he couldn't do it without her.

She used to find joy in planning their trips and booking places for dinners. It was fun to colour code schedules so they could tell at a glance what could be moved if needed. She liked running around the paddock with her pit access badge around her neck, her tablet in her arms, and her boys by her side. While she hated the spotlight and the whispered comments about her, at least at Renault she could deal with it. She had to deal with it and learned how by the time they arrived at McLaren.

When their bags became orange and Dan’s half of the wardrobe was filled with the colour it became a constant struggle. Work was a battle for her to be heard and listened to and able to get her point across, and then thanks to the poisonous atmosphere it affected her home life. And then it all fell apart.

McLaren broke them and it took a miracle to get them back together. Love gave them the patience to work on themselves and their relationship. They put the pieces back together once at a time, gluing them into place until they could hold. But even then something inside Em just felt dead.

Something in her had broken, and Dan couldn't help her fix it like he’d helped with everything else. She couldn’t even admit it until now. Back then she thought it was everything she’d lost in such a short space of time - Dan, their relationship, their home and her family. Then she blamed the miscarriage. She blamed her parents and everything they said and did. She also blamed Michael because he made everything more difficult even though she knew she shouldn’t.

There were times when she didn’t feel that broken part inside. She had her Danny, their family, and rebuilt their home together. She had his ring on her finger and their little wedding to promise they loved each other and then their big one to tell the world. They had their sunshine girl and there was nothing that could have prepared Em for the love she had for her baby Luna. But that broken love for her job never came back.

She wasn’t in a position to work when she got back to Dan’s side. She couldn’t think straight at the time, so it was ridiculous to consider working. She knew Blake and Dan agreed and said yes when she said she wanted to return. She knew it was their attempt to distract her from the mess of their lives, but it never happened, at least not in full capacity. Looking back, Em was aware it was all a terrible need to feel like things were normal in some way. It was her way to feel like she didn’t blow out her whole life for not having the courage to stand up to Dan and all her fears and ghosts. 

If she could barely gather the strength to make it to the paddock as Dan’s girlfriend, she wouldn't have the strength to work like she used to. The only thing that kept her going were Dan and Blake. She also knew she could stay hidden away from the world when she wasn't in the garage. Strength temporarily returned when McLaren decided to fight against Dan. She could barely keep herself standing, but she lifted and carried Dan, putting herself together as well as possible to keep him moving. Dan had been doing that for her for months, so she had to do it for him. 

The one last time the strength to work came back was when she had to walk into the MTC and face McLaren and the people she despised. She had to fight for the man she loved. She got there fought them and won, but all the energy was drained after that. It was a brief period and then her pieces started falling apart again. 

As the months passed the attention never turned back to that. She hated herself for leaving Blake on his own when he had too much on his plate, but she needed to focus on herself and Dan. She needed to hug him, kiss his cheeks and remind him that it was only a matter of time until they could be home for a year. In some months they would burn everything that was orange and had the name McLaren on it. It was a matter of time, then they could figure out what they were doing next. 

Em thought she could do it. She could keep it together for what was left of the year, but then she had to break her hand. Then everything was a constant battle with Michael, the criticism about her husband wouldn’t stop no matter what he did, and on top of that they faced her parents. By the end of the year Em could barely leave the bed, and any work-related matter was long forgotten inside one of her suitcases. 

Blake insisted she didn't have to return to action any time soon. Summer break was supposed to be used to disconnect and that's what Em and Dan needed to do. They could think about it later in the year, but in the meantime, they deserved some time off to heal, plan their wedding and be with their family. Blake had the same plan and after spending some time with Em and Dan in Perth, he was gonna fly home for the holidays to be with his family, but Charlie happened. He wasn’t expecting to meet and fall in love with a gorgeous, brilliant woman who was head over heels in love with him too. When it happened everyone was happy that it did. If someone deserved love and happiness that was Blake, so it was wonderful to see it come true. 

The idea of working became even less appealing to Em. Seeing her husband smiling again at a car launch was a sign she hadn’t seen in a while. The sight of Dan actually having fun again doing press and sponsor work was something Em thought was long gone. Even seeing Blake smiling so bright and big while looking at his phone made Em forget how terrible the previous year was for them.

That's how months passed and with them the incredibly excited news about their pregnancy. Then came their wedding, Scotty and Chloe’s wedding and Dan testing for Red Bull. Everything happened so suddenly that Em had to keep her focus on her Danny and that's what she did. By then, Em was in some meetings, but she was mostly on the side, holding Dan’s hand and promising everything would be alright. After all the difficult things they faced through it had to be alright for him and his career.

Dan breaking his hand wasn’t on her bingo card that year, making it all messy and complicated. He was finally in a car and had to step to the side before he could even taste it. Em never thought that at seven months pregnant she would be holding her husband’s good hand as he lay on a hospital bed ready for a multiple fracture surgery. She never thought she would have to sit there promising her husband everything would be alright while she was fighting one of their former friends for talking about Dan’s injury to the press. The last thing any of them needed was Michael sneaking into their business. Em was already nervous enough and it wasn't good for her pregnancy. 

Em hated to say it, but the accident was part disgrace and part blessing. Thanks to it they got more time off, allowing them to return to Perth for some extra days. They had the chance to be with their family for Grace’s birthday, Blake got to spend some extra days with Charlie, and they knew more than anyone how they needed to cherish extra time with their loved ones. Dan and Em even had some time to slowly putting something together at Lulu’s nursery in the farm, so something good came out of it. 

As months passed by, things got crazier with organizing their lives and Dan returning back to racing, but nothing ever got as crazy as when Lulu finally arrived. Their whole universe changed, their world shifted and nothing really mattered after that. 

There was a lot of mess in their lives, but they were happy and for the first time, things seemed to be going their way. Maybe that is why Em found it so difficult to think about finishing her maternity leave at the time. It was agreed that Em would take a few months off and then we would see how things were going and how she felt at that time. She was thankful to be able to spend as much time as possible with her newborn baby. She was grateful for the opportunity to spend this time with her family, and she made the most of it. That's why Em decided it was best for her to stay off work.

Not only was Dan too busy, but Lulu was so tiny. If Em was working Lulu would be right there with them in the paddock and Charlie was gonna be looking after her, but Em just couldn’t. It wasn’t about Charlie. She was like Lulu’s second mum. They knew Charlie and Blake would always love her and protect her, that's why they were her godparents. It wasn’t them, but Em not willing to take her attention from her daughter. She really wanted to be with Lulu and spend time with her. In one of her therapy sessions, Mildred told Emma it was perfectly normal and understandable. Being a first time mom, considering all the things that have happened to them and how much they wanted to have a baby, it was logical that given the option Em would want to be there with their daughter all the time. Em wanted to take that chance. Dan always reminded her how privileged and lucky they have a good life not worrying about a lot of things. For once she was gonna pay attention to her husband and enjoy doing nothing except looking after her family. Em finally had the life and family she never thought she would have and wanted to enjoy them. 

Admitting it to herself was one of the most difficult things Em had to do in a long time. She felt that she had no reason not to work. There were two voices in her head: one was her mother's voice telling her to stay at home and not work because that was what a woman should do and the other was her own feelings of regret about not working. She had no idea what it was like not to work. Emma has worked non stop since she was seventeen and had to take care of herself. Having a baby was no excuse because there were all those other mums out there having their kids, doing their jobs, and running their homes. Not loving her job anymore shouldn’t be an excuse. 

As Mildred told her, being with her family was a strong reason. Not wanting to compromise her mental health was comprehensible. Not wanting to do it was a perfectly fine reason too, but if Emma needed something stronger, then her family was good enough. The main reason why Emma started working with Dan was to help him and Blake, so now she could keep helping as a wife and a friend instead of as an assistant. Priorities shifted and hers changed. Her priority was her family and it was perfect. 

Before she took any decisions Emma decided she needed to talk to Blake and then to Dan. Even when back in the day Dan was the one paying her salary and technically her boss, Blake was the one who worked side-by-side with Em. For the world Blake was Em’s boss, but they worked together to make things run as smoothly as possible. After all the messes she made she wanted to talk to him before making any decision, especially if it included him.

“If technically I didn't want to work again, what would happen?” Em asked Blake once they were alone for more than two minutes. Charlie was napping, Dan was out on a short walk with Lulu and Steve, so it was only her and Blake as she worked on dinner.

“Nothing. I mean, I miss working with you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t ask you to double check one small thing for me cause you are going to be right there sitting in front of me.” Blake shurgged as he drank his coffee.

“Really? You won’t be mad at me? And how many cups did you have today, B?”

“Emma Charlotte Ricciardo, I swear to God. Really? Ain’t we way past that? You know I won't get mad at you. And don't ask me such thing as how much coffee I had.” He smiled, knowing the answer was probably too many cups. Between work, a wedding being planned on the other side of the world, and helping care for his baby niece Blake was tired, but he was a happy man.

“Fine. But about the other thing, I just wanna know, alright?"

“Timmy, I’ve been waiting for you to say the word for months. I knew you weren’t coming back for some time now, and if I'm honest I’m happy you are not. It means you’ve got something way better going on. You’re too good for all this mess, Em. You’re seriously too damn good for this weird circus."

Em smiled shyly as she looked at the water starting to boil in front of them. She really had something good going on in her life. She really had an excellent reason not to go back. The fact that Blake agree was a big relief. It was a big weight off her shoulders. “I wanted to. I really did. Working with you again would be so good. But I… They need me, Blakey. They need me and I need to be Lu’s mum and Dan’s wife and nothing else.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Em. If that’s what you want, then you'll do that.” Em simply nodded at her friend’s words. She couldn't imagine doing anything else. She hoped it would be different in the future, but not at the moment. “Hey, you know how proud I am of you? That shy woman next door is this brilliant woman with a husband and a baby and a life. And a pretty cool brother, too. That’s pretty cool, Timothy.”

“You’re a silly man. But you’re right. I can’t believe it either. It’s kinda scary, you know?”

“Nothing and especially nobody will take that from you. I promise you. You just look after them and let me make sure you’re ok too. We’re a family, Timmy. We don’t need to work together to look after each other. You’re my sister and that's it. I love you no matter what. And I know Charlie feels the same way."

The shy girl Blake met all those years ago and was absolutely lonely and scared of everything wouldn’t have asked for a hug, but it was another story with the actual Emma. She didn’t hesitate, leaving the spoon on the table and moving the sauce she was making away from the fire to give Blake a hug. Her brother was on her top five list of Best hugs in the world, and she would steal one whenever she could. That afternoon seemed like an excellent time to get one.

“I love you too, B. And I love that wife of yours." Emmy smiled, resting her head comfortably against Blake’s chest.

“Three months and she’ll finally be my wife. Can you believe that?” As Blake kissed the top of her head, she could feel him smiling at her. Em didn’t think she ever saw someone as excited to get married as Blake was. Dan was happy and excited when they did too. He always said meeting Em, getting her back, marrying her and having Lulu were the highlights of his life. She never doubted her husband's words, but Blake was next level of happiness and joy. He was like a happy kid with candy and a brand-new toy, still pinching himself to check it was not a dream. At least once a week he asked Charlie and even Dan and Em if it was really happening, simply because he couldn’t believe he was marrying the love of his life.

“Honestly I can believe it. But it was the best decision you ever made, darling."

"That and saying hi to my nice new next door neighbor. That was an excellent call too.” Blake insisted, giving Em one last squeeze and kiss on the top of her head before he finally let her make dinner.

“It was a smart idea. Second smartest after proposing to Char.” Em smiled, grabbing the wooden spoon to stir the sauce. After filling it, she placed it in front of her friend. “Now try it and let me know if it's good or not."

“What do you mean if it's good? Mama Emmy's sauce is always good." Blake grabbed the spoon and ate it all up. As he smiled, Em could tell what he was thinking about it. She couldn't help but smile back. She knew they all loved her magical sauce, and that made her feel special. Em always felt a some sense of pride as she watched her family enjoy the food she made. She always thought her cooking was more about love than skill, so it filled her with joy to know it put a smile on their faces. "It makes so much sense that you married into an Italian family. This is so incredible it's ridiculous."

As simple as her talk with Blake was, she was terrified of talking to Dan. He wasn't going to say it was a terrible idea or anything like that. She knew her husband would support her in whatever she did. He was always supportive and made sure his loved ones had smiles on their faces. But admitting it to Dan would make it real. If she admitted it to him, then it would be like finally admitting it to herself and signing the resignation letter. Talking to Dan meant making it final. It was terrifying, even when she knew it was the right thing for her and her family.

Before Emma could find the right moment to do it, Dan found it for them. With Lulu in the park and grocery shopping with her godparents, Dan and Em were at home to give them some grown-up time. They never complained. They loved spending time with their daughter, but Charlie insisted.

"Do married couples stuff, alright? No work, just normal people stuff. We're gonna go get some candy and swing in the park before we get sick of you, mum and dad". Those were Charlie's words as she held Lulu and Blake laughed, grabbing Lulu's bag ready to leave. It was a kiss to their daughter before they walked out the door. Soon after, Dan dragged Em to the couch.

She always said she had the superpower of knowing what Dan needed, and that day it was to hug his wife. He needed to wrap his arms around her body and hold her as close as possible. It took Em a minute to realize it wasn't about him, but about her. Dan knew something was bothering her, so he held her until she found the words. He knew it could take a couple of minutes or even hours, but he waited patiently.

"You're waiting for me to say why I'm overthinking, right?" Em finally broke the silence as she placed kisses over his neck and shoulder.

"I have all day, so there's no hurry." Dan's patience was one of the things she admired about him. Or at least his patience with her. It gave Em a safe space where she knew there was no hurry or rush. No matter what her fears or anxieties were, no judgment was made. Dan understood better than anyone else that some conversations needed time, so he held her safely, giving her all the time she needed.

“We gotta go back to mum and dad when Lu is back, so not all day."

“You know Blake and Charlie won't have any issues looking after her for the night if we need it."

“You and I both know it won’t happen. A day off at home? She’s gonna be squeezed between us as soon as she crosses that door." she smiled, feeling how Dan nooded in agreement. Days off were family days, so there was no way Lulu was going to spend the night away from them. But Dan was right and Em didn't want to have that conversation with their daughter at home. “I don’t need you to promise me you won’t get mad, right? ”

“Not at all. You know you can tell me anything you want, Emmy." Dan assured, looking down at her. His big brown eyes always made Em feel better. Dan always looked at her with love and adoration, exactly the kind she thought didn't exist before they met. Combined with the sweet way he kissed her, it gave her the strength to finally talk to her husband.

“I just- I don’t think I want to work anymore? I mean, not forever, but for some time? It's not about you or B. You know I love working with you both, but... I don't know, baby. I guess F1 is not my cup of tea, y'know? I don't want to work there, Dan. Not in the paddock and around all that craziness. I thought it was fun for a while, but then I got tired of it. They ruined the fun for me. I can't do it anymore. I keep showing up because it's your job, but I like it less and less every day, Dan. There are so many people around that it's hard to cope. I know it won't be healthy for me to work again. Not there and especially when Lu is so small and you need-"

Emma suddenly stopped talking when she realized what she was gonna say. She didn't want to overstep, but Dan kissed her before continuing talking for her. “You can say it. I need you. I really need you. I know it. I’m not ashamed or scared to admit I need my wife and daughter by my side. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it."

“And I need you. I need my family. I need to just be your wife and Lulu’s mum. I want to just be just Em for a while. I have to look after my family, baby. I want to keep things like this and be available for my babies. And it's scary because I don't even know what it was like not to work. The only time I didn't do it was when I was sick. And there’s this voice inside my head saying it's the wrong thing to do, but I really need it."

"Remember the day I knocked on your door asking what to do with Red Bull?" Dan asked, taking Em's hand to kiss her wedding rings.

"You at my door with lemon cake, wine and the biggest puppy eyes? How could I ever forget?". It felt like yesterday even though it had happened six years later. She would never forget his crazy curls and handsome face on the other side of the door asking if he could come in. If she closed her eyes she could feel the nerves in her stomach for having him there. She even remembered his perfume filling the room. It was his eyes that Emma remembered most. He really looked like a kicked puppy. He had a mix of confusion, sadness and worry that made her want to hug him and kiss the frown away from hid face. There was no way she would ever do that, so instead she sat there in front of him, trying to be helpful to the the man she was convinced that was never going to look at her as more than just a friend.

"I was shitting my pants all the way to your place. I had no idea how to knock on your door and say I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to see you so badly you have no idea." Dan confessed, making Em smile shyly. She had no idea about that day. She couldn’t believe Dan was scared about it, but deep down she knew her Dan was a shy guy. The man behind that extrovert personality and big smile was still a shy person who took months, a difficult race, and an unbelievable amount of drunkenness before kissing her for the first time.

"We were just kids, huh?"

"Yeah, we were just kiddos. We really were just kids trying to figure shit out. But you remember what you asked me that day?"

"The wrong thing probably?"

“It wasn't wrong, baby.” Em couldn’t help but smile at her husband. She wasn’t surprised by his answer. Despite the fact that it probably wasn't the best thing, Dan was sure Em never said anything wrong. For Daniel, his wife was always right in some way. He was convinced she was the brightest, smartest, wisest person in the world, so his Emmy was absolutely right. She knew she had fucked up by not telling him not to sign with Renault and especially with McLaren. Em knew she should have stopped him right away, but Dan always insisted she hadn't said anything wrong. Em only gave him advice, but he took the decision on his own. “You asked me what I wanted. You told me to follow my gut. You told me to listen to my heart. That’s what I did. Now I'll tell you the same thing. What does your heart say? Not your head, just your heart and guts."

It was such an easy call. Because it was such an easy decision, Em didn't have to think twice before saying it out loud. “I want to be with you and Lu as much as possible, Dan.”

“Then we do that.”

“What about the brand?”

“Thats not a problem, Em. We keep doing what we've done so far. It's working just fine, but if it doesn't, we'll figure out a way. It's not like you won't give me your opinion. You know you can be in meetings whenever you want. It's alright. And if you ever want to go back, you can do it. Enchanté will always be our thing. It was our first real project together, and that won't change. It's ours no matter what. And if one day you want to do something completely different, that's fine too. You have all the choices and time to decide. We're lucky to be able to do this without worrying about many things, so just stick with your heart."

"I just don't wanna disappoint you, Dan. And it won't be forever"

"You could never do such a thing, baby. The fact that you're doing this in part cause I need you? Cause our family needs you? I'm nothing but grateful, Wrinkles. I just want you to be happy. If it lasts forever but you're happy, that's it. You know what they say, 'Happy wife happy life'. Here at home it's more like 'Happy wife, happy baby, happy husband, happy life'. If my baby mama's good, then we're all happy."

"Thank you. For everything you do for us. And for loving me so hard and not giving up on me."

"Loving you is the easiest thing to do, Mrs Ricciardo." After one long hug the decision was finally taken and sealed with a kiss. It was the right thing for everyone, so Em was happy to accept it.

The one thing they agreed on was to take care of the paperwork for her resignation in another moment, probably during the summer break after Charlie and Blake’s wedding. For too imany reasons it wasn’t the ideal moment to deal with it, so they would rather wait and focus their energy and time in other more important things.

The last couple of months - to not say the last couple of years - have been an emotional roller coaster for them. They had been doing every single possible thing so Dan could focus his energy on work, that’s why after Monaco he decided to take drastic measures. Dan talked to his team, friends, and family, but then his with wife. She knew what was coming when they sat in bed. She knew what her husband asked everyone. For six long, difficult, crazy, and beautiful years, they had most of their crucial conversations and made most decisions from their bed. It ended up becoming their tradition and none of them planned to change it, especially not that night.

Em held his hands and brought them to her hips, kissing his wedding rings before the question fell over them. She knew the answer to "What can I do to not waste that much energy during race weekends?" The team would do its part by cutting sponsorship presentations and marketing obligations. Blake would take care of more things, but Em could only do one thing. The second they found out Em was pregnant they made a deal that she would take care of most things if Dan was working. She reminded him of their deal the second Dan had an AlphaTauri contract over the table ready to sign. Now the only option was to reduce family time during race days. No more getting up extra early to cuddle Lulu and give Em some extra minutes of sleep as he fed her and changed her for their day. No more staying up extra late to cuddle their baby to sleep and do their bottle-pjs-storytime routine at night and then have five extra minutes of cuddling with Em. There was no more running around the paddock to see them for a second when he had more than three seconds free. The other thing that Em decided to give up on over the weekend was sex. It was the first thing Em cut from the list, choosing to let it go long before she decided to do full parenting over the weekend on her own. She was Dan’s wife, but she was also Luna’s mom and they swore to put their daughter first no matter what.

She was terrified of what could come of all that. After all they had been through Em was aware of how strong their relationship was. She knew where their priorities lay and how it worked for them, but it was scary. They changed from a pair of scared young adults with a highly active sexual life who could barely stay away from each other and keep their clothes on when they were together to a married couple and parents of a six-month-old daughter. Their sex life was still active and they still loved it, but things were different and that was scary. She knew herself and her Dan, but fear was always there. She knew Dan was never gonna allow it, but Em was terrified all those decisions were going to push her husband away and ruin her family.

Emma knew that was not the answer Daniel wanted. There was a list of things Dan wasn’t willing to do. Leaving his wife and daughter to the side and spending even less time with them was not one of those things. They were the best part of his life. He had his family and friends and loved them to pieces, but Em and Lulu were the air he breathed. His girls were the center of his world and who he loved more in the entire universe. They had his whole heart in their hands and he was happy it was all theirs. They were the whole reason for absolutely everything and he was not ashamed of saying it out loud. That's why he didn’t want to spend less time with them. He knew the sacrifices they were making for him to live his dream. Em had to live the pregnancy in a rollercoaster that was nothing like the chill year off Dan promised. She had to travel the world, live part of the time in Italy, help their friends in a long distance relationship, lift Dan when he broke his hand and see him get back to racing all in half a year. Then when she was absolutely not ready for it they had to move from the comfort and happiness of their lives in Perth all the way back to Europe when she should be home getting used to being a first-time mom and all that it brought with it. They had to deal with the insanity of being first-time parents and a new season while having a legal battle with Emma’s parents. At six months old Lulu visited more countries and had more stamps in her passport than many adults had in a lifetime. They never signed for that life, especially not Lulu, so he wanted to make it count. He wasn’t making them pass through all that to end up outside the points on a race weekend. Daniel wouldn't do that to them. He wasn’t willing to be that kind of husband and father. 

When she saw her husband's eyes shining with tears, the fear only became stronger. Em could see how he rethought and reconsidered every option and decision he made. Dan promised again and again that she would be his top priority. He swore their child was going to always be the top priority in his life, but now it was all slipping from his fingers. He had counted hours to be a husband and dad for three or four days, and now his job was taking that away. Emma felt like the villain because she was taking it away from him even if it was for the sake of his career. She was feeling like the most awful person in the world when she did it. She felt like the worst mother and wife that ever existed when her husband whispered “Baby please don’t take that from me” as she mentioned how night routines would be her thing. Her main job was to look after Lulu and Danny. Her one thing was to protect them and help them but instead she made her husband cry silent tears. She was a failure and it felt like she was bringing her marriage to an inevitable ruin, but she had to do it for Dan. Work was work and she knew that from day one, no matter how it hurt. Between tender kisses all over his face, Em promised them they would be there no matter what. She was gonna be right by his side with their baby, holding his hand and loving him as much as she always did. Their schedules might change, but not their love for each other.

The one thing they agreed on was to take care of the paperwork for her resignation in another moment, probably during the summer break after Charlie and Blake’s wedding. For too many reasons it wasn’t the ideal moment to deal with it. Instead, they would rather wait and focus their energy and time on other more important things.

The last couple of months - to not say the last couple of years - have been an emotional roller coaster for them. They had been doing every single possible thing so Dan could focus his energy on work, that’s why after Monaco he decided to take drastic measures. After talking to his team, friends, and family, Dan spoke to his wife. She knew what was coming when they sat in bed. She knew what her husband had asked everyone. For six long, difficult, crazy, and beautiful years, they had most of their crucial conversations and made most decisions from their bed. It became their tradition and none of them planned to change it, especially not that night.

Em held his hands and brought them to her hips, kissing his wedding rings before the question fell over them. She knew the answer to "What can I do to not waste that much energy during race weekends?" The team would do its part by cutting sponsorship presentations and marketing obligations. Blake would care for more things, but Em could only do one thing. The second they found out Em was pregnant they made a deal that she would take care of most things if Dan was working. She reminded him of their deal the second Dan had an AlphaTauri contract over the table ready to sign. Now the only option was to reduce family time on race days. No more getting up extra early to cuddle Lulu and give Em some extra minutes of sleep while he fed her and changed her. No more staying up extra late to cuddle their baby to sleep and do their bottle-pjs-storytime routine at night and then have five extra minutes of snuggling with Em. There was no more running around the paddock to see them for a second when he had a moment free.

The other thing that Em decided to give up on over the weekend was sex. It was the first thing Em cut from the list, choosing to let it go long before she decided to do full parenting over the weekend on her own. She was Dan’s wife, but she was also Luna’s mom and they swore to put their daughter first no matter what.

She was terrified of what could come of all that. After all they had been through Em knew how strong their relationship was. She knew where their priorities lay and how it worked for them, but it was still scary. They changed from a pair of scared young adults with a highly active sexual life who could barely stay away from each other and keep their clothes on when they were together to a married couple and parents of a six-month-old daughter. Their sexual life was still active and they still loved it, but things were different and that was scary. She knew herself and her Dan, but fear was always there. She knew Dan was never gonna allow it, but Em was terrified all those decisions were going to push her husband away and ruin her family.

Emma knew that was not the answer Daniel was looking for. There was a list of things Dan wasn’t willing to do. Leaving his wife and daughter to the side and spending even less time with them was not one of those things. They were the best part of his life. He had his family and friends and loved them to pieces, but Em and Lulu were the air he breathed. His girls were the center of his world and who he loved the most in the universe. They had his whole heart in their hands and he was happy it was all theirs. They were the whole reason for everything he did, and he was not ashamed of saying it out loud. That's why he didn’t want to spend less time with them.

He knew the sacrifices they were making for him to live his dream. During the pregnancy, Em lived a rollercoaster ride that was nothing like the relaxing year off Dan promised. She had to travel the world, spend part of the time in Italy, and help their friends in a long distance relationship. She had to lift Dan when he broke his hand and see him return to racing in half a year. Then when she was absolutely not ready for it they had to move from the comfort and happiness of their lives in Perth to travel all the way back to Europe. She should have been home getting used to being a first-time mom and all it brought. If it wasn't enough, they had to deal with the insanity of being first-time parents and the upcoming season while having a legal battle with Emma’s parents. At six months old Lulu visited more countries and had more stamps in her passport than many adults had in a lifetime. They never signed for that life, especially not Lulu, so he wanted to make it count. He wasn’t making them go through all that to end up outside the points on a race weekend. Daniel wouldn't do that to them. He wasn’t willing to be that kind of husband and father. 

When she saw her husband's eyes shining with tears, fear only became stronger. Em could see how he was rethinking and reconsidering every option and decision he made. Dan promised she would be his top priority. He swore their child would always be the top priority in his life, but now it was slipping from his fingers. He had counted hours to be a husband and dad for three or four days, and now his job was taking that away.

Emma felt like the villain because she was taking it away from him even if it was for the sake of his career. She felt like the worst person in the world when she did it. She felt like the most horrible mother and wife that ever existed when her husband whispered “Baby please don’t take that from me” as she mentioned how night routines would be her thing. Her main job was to look after Lulu and Danny. The only thing she wanted to do was protect them and help them, but instead, she made her husband cry silent tears. She was a failure and it felt like she was bringing her marriage to an inevitable ruin, but she had to do it for Dan. Work was work and she knew that from day one, no matter how it hurt. Between tender kisses all over his face, Em promised them they would be there no matter what. She would be right by his side with their baby, holding his hand and loving him as much as she always did. Their schedules might change, but not their love for each other.

But even knowing it was temporary, the guilt didn’t go away for weeks. They had one week off after Monaco and half of it was both of them feeling guilty about their decisions. Dan promised that the week would be exclusively for the three of them, and it started by taking Lulu to the beach Dan bought Em over their first weekend together in Monaco.

Em couldn’t help but think Monaco was cursed for them. They cursed it after getting together. Year after year, it was one terrible thing after another. It was so awful that she didn't like being there at all. She knew they had to for legal reasons, but she didn’t like to spend more than necessary there. Monaco had so many memories Em felt like she couldn’t breathe there. After they got back there, they moved their things to another apartment on the opposite side of the city. The apartment had a beautiful view, two rooms and a more spacious kitchen than the old apartment had, but Em still wasn’t happy. Em couldn’t help but feel out of place because she didn’t belong there. She was still the girl who loved her simple life in London. She loved being home and having a normal life doing normal things such as grocery shopping, fixing dinner for her family and doing laundry. She could tell Dan wasn’t happy to be there either. He could see how his wife was uncomfortable and his daughter was less chilled out. Lulu wasn’t grouchy, but she got irritated faster when they stayed there.

The one happy day they had in Monaco after their terribly difficult conversation was when they decided to return to the beach where they had been all those years back after they slept together for the first time. It was Dan’s desperate need to spend time with his family who brought them there, and Em was delighted they did it. Seeing Lulu giggling was one of the counted good things that happened to them there in the last few years. Maybe it was the one happy thing that happened to them. Watching her husband holding their daughter so she could wet her tiny feet in the ocean was one of those memories that would last forever. Watching her water-loving baby smiling at the sensation of the waves hitting her skin was all Em needed to feel lighter even if just for a few hours. That and being held by her husband as he promised everything would be alright kept her going through the week.

Having some family time in New York and traveling to their house in Austin also helped ease her heavy heart. She knew it was a matter of days until they started their ‘No more distractions over the race weekend’, but first they had some normality. They lived a couple of days like any normal family, doing mundane things any couple with a baby would do. Doing the dishes at their home and taking Lulu to the park felt like a privilege and Em soaked it up. She enjoyed every second with her loves until they had to fly to Canada.

When they reached Thursday and press day it was all gone and the reality of her words hit her as hard as possible. Waking up to Dan still asleep and not sitting down in bed holding Lulu almost brought tears to her eyes, but she stopped herself. She took a deep breath to control her emotions, trying to keep them together. The last thing Dan needed was to wake up with his wife crying. He had been through that too many times in the last couple of years. Two years earlier they were in Montana, crying all day and giving Dan the chance to walk away from their relationship before heading to Canada. When they were there she had to ask Dan to keep Michael away from her for some time because she just couldn’t handle his comments. Things were completely different, but memories weren’t easy and she knew it. It was not easy, it was still somehow in the back of his head, that’s why Em didn’t want him to add more worries to his already long list. 

It was her job. One of the reasons Emma left her job as Dan's assistant was that she didn't love it any more. She had a much longer list, including her mental health on top. But one of the most significant reasons was focusing on her family. Her priority was her family. The first two people on her list were her Dan and her Lulu. She got up, made her way to the bathroom and walked straight to their daughter to start their morning in silence while Dan rested. 

She loved the quiet, soft, slow moments with Lulu in the morning. Em loved cuddling and feeding her baby while ignoring the world outside their room. Lulu’s big brown eyes looking up at her were one of the most incredible things that ever happened to her. She couldn't believe how that six-month-old beauty with crazy tiny curls was her daughter. She couldn’t believe how each day Lulu looked more and more like Dan. For Em it was glorious because if Lulu didn’t look like her, she wouldn’t look like Emma’s mother. Thankfully, their baby was full Ricciardo which gave Em nothing but joy, especially considering Dan was the most handsome man in the world for her. Being able to stay there with Lulu in her arms looking at Dan sleeping peacefully was a privilege for Em.

For an hour and a half, her husband's snores were Em's background noise as she cuddled, kissed and changed Lulu. As Em got ready for their day, she smiled at Dan. She had no idea how she used to sleep without Dan as her white noise. She barely remembered how it was to go to bed without his arms wrapped around her. She couldn't even think how it was to wake up without his curls and stubble tickling her skin. Em could not help but laugh because she never imagined marrying a man who occasionally loved a mustache on his face. However, she loved Dan and all his weird and questionable facial hair choices. She must have giggled too loudly because Dan stirred as she talked to Lulu.

Maybe Emma giggled too loudly and made too much noise without realizing, because as she talked to Lulu, Dan started to stir. Like every morning she kissed his forehead. It became a small tradition and whoever was up first always did that while whispering a little good morning. Em cut too many things from his routine, but that wasn’t one of them. Em wouldn't leave behind the extra five or ten minutes of cuddles in bed. Those small things she was not willing to give up on. She might not let her husband get up earlier, but her family was gonna have their usual cuddle session to start the day like they always did. She wasn’t willing to take from her beloved family their morning little ritual of Dan kissing Lulu good morning. It was her face first, then her hands, tummy and feet, making her giggle with joy, dimples full on display, exactly like her daddy. It was all those moments that made Em remember every single decision and sacrifice was worth it if the loves of her life were happy. She was exhausted, but it gave her an extra shot of energy to hear Dan call her Mama as he talked to Lulu.

Em knew it was probably too soon to say and see any changes, but seeing her husband doing so well in Canada was like a breath of fresh air. A wonderful P5 in quali and P8 in the race was more than they expected. Em never doubted him, but trusting what the car could do was a completely different story.

Canada was wonderful, but they were just incredibly excited about visiting Barcelona. They were looking forward to meeting their family there, so it was good news for everyone. With Isabella and Isaac on school break, the family spent some time in Europe with Dan, Em and Lulu. It was all they really needed. Just as a toothless smile from their daughter could lift their spirits, a hug from the kids or Grace or Joe could lift their spirits. It was healing to watch them all cover Lulu in love when they couldn’t do it for months. It was magical to see Joe and Grace holding their tiny granddaughter and the kids playing with their baby cousin.

Having their family there not only meant much needed family time, but also Grandparents in charge. Lulu would spend at least a whole afternoon with Grace and Joe every time they were with them. They loved their grandkids, so spending the day with them was absolutely wonderful. That also allowed Dan and Em to have adult time without their baby around. Grace and Joe insisted the four of them needed some time to be just adults without thinking about the baby in the family and that's what they did.

Dan and Blake promised to join Charlie and Em later in the afternoon after press day in the circuit, which left the two women having brunch and part of a girls day. They normally did it with Lulu, going for a walk, lunch and maybe some shopping just the three of them until the boys returned. One of the things Em got thanks to Charlie being around was more freedom. With Em not working and Dan not in the car on Thursday, there was really no need for the girls to be at the track while the boys worked. One day they decided to turn Thursday morning and afternoon into girls days and it stuck. They sometimes skip it depending on the country, but for a big part of the calendar it was their thing. It didn’t change when Lulu was born, only transformed into a more baby-friendly version of it. With Lulu around it wouldn’t include alcohol, but when it was only Em and Charlie they would always have a glass of rosè.

Doing it in sunny Barcelona normally would put a smile on Em’s face. It was one of the places with more happy memories for them. Her first race was there and she couldn’t forget how happy Dan looked when he saw she was really there after insisting so much. She remembered his cute selfies back in 2018 when it was snowing and he was all covered in a scarf and a Red Bull beanie complaining how he didn’t like the cold and especially the snow. The same happened in 2019, Dan coming and going to London to see her on his free days between one week of testing and the other. She could never forget their nights snuggling in her hotel room in 2020 when she was finally working with him, trying to hide from the world because they weren’t supposed to be together but they just couldn’t stay away from each other. Dan hiding his face against her chest as he hugged her body, saying he was too cold even when the room was perfectly warm, enough for them to not use clothes while they slept. Even the previous year, because they weren’t there during the race but Dan gave them a reason to visit to have his hand surgery. Those were some of the most stressful days of her life, but she was never going to forget her husband waking up from the anesthesia whispering “You’re really pretty but I have a very hot pregnant wife” as he smiled lazily at her, trying in vain to reach her bump with his good hand.

Barcelona had too many good memories and she didn’t want anyone ruining that for them. But even with all those happy memories and stories, Em couldn’t stop thinking about everything that was happening. All the comments and rumors and talks about her husband were haunting her, making it hard for her to stop overthinking, even when she was supposed to be enjoying her day off with her friend.

Doing it in sunny Barcelona would normally put a smile on Em’s face. The place held many happy memories for them. Her first race was there and she couldn’t forget how happy Dan looked when he saw she was really there after insisting so much. She remembered his cute selfies back in 2018 when it was snowing and he was covered in a scarf and a Red Bull beanie, complaining how he didn’t like the cold and especially the snow. The same happened in 2019, Dan coming and going to London to see her on his free days between one week of testing and the other. She could never forget their nights snuggling in her hotel room in 2020 when she finally worked with him, trying to hide from the world because they weren’t supposed to be together but they just couldn’t stay away from each other. Dan hid his face against her chest as he hugged her tightly, saying he was too cold even when the room was perfectly warm, enough for them not to wear clothes while they slept. Even the previous year, because they weren’t there during the race but Dan gave them a reason to visit to have his hand surgery. Those were some of the most stressful days of her life, but she would never forget her husband waking up from anesthesia whispering “You’re really pretty but I have a very hot pregnant wife” as he smiled lazily at her, trying in vain to reach her bump with his good hand.

Barcelona had too many happy memories and didn't want anyone ruining them. But even with all those happy memories and stories, Em couldn’t stop thinking about everything that was happening. Even on her day off with her friend, she found it difficult to stop overthinking due to all the comments, rumors, and discussions about her husband.

“What’s going on?” Charlie asked out of the blue, glass in her hand as the sun shined down on her, making her look like something absolutely divine.

“Nothing.” It was typical Em trying to avoid the inevitable conversation, but knowing it was in vain to try at all. It was Charlie after all.

“Baby…”

“Nothing, Char.”

“Kay, right, lie to your bestie.”

“I’m not lying!”

“Then tell me what’s in your head. I know you, my dear. Maybe you don’t remember but I have a PhD in psychology. Might be in child psychology, but people’s minds are the same. Plus I know all of your faces and you've got the 'I'm worried' face on right now. I know a lot of things worry you but tell me which one is putting a frown across your face." Oh my God, how much she loved Charlie. The fact that she was right about everything she said made it funny. She was so skilled at reading people that it was difficult to hide something from her. It was especially difficult when they spent hours and days together, but Em tried. She tried to keep it chill and quiet, hiding behind her own wine glass. "Alright, I'll guess. Is it Dan and the noise of the silly season?" Check mate.

“You really know me a bit, don’t you?” Em smiled, taking a sip and breathing deeply before talking about the issue. “Yeah, it’s that. I’m just tired and we’re just in June. And Dan told me I could talk to Bayer and Mekies to get some peace of mind but I don’t want to. One of the reasons I quit was because I was tired of meetings with team principals and CEOs. I don’t fully believe them."

“Nobody can blame you. You have your reasons not to.”

“I know. And even if I did I’d still be worried. People talking about my husband is never easy. I hate people acting like they know him or what's going on. All these years and I still hate it. I feel powerless. Like I get to sit there and watch while it all happens when I should be able to do more." It hurt to confess it, but it also felt like a weight off her shoulders as she said it. It was like a bit of pressure came off her chest, which really helped her feel lighter.

“Em, darling, there’s nothing you can do. You’re already doing everything to help him. Goddamn, many women wouldn’t do half the things you do and wouldn’t help with half of the things you help.”

“I know that, but it's that constant small voice in my head saying I should be doing more. I wanna do more.”

“You’re doing enough, Em. Believe me. You’re flying the world with your baby daughter and raising her on your own most days so your husband can stay focused on his dream job. Damn, I can’t wait for the summer break and it's not even about my wedding. I want it so you can have Dan all day for you and Lu.”

It was the final countdown to their summer vacation and Em couldn’t remember the last time she waited for it as much as that year. Being cozy at home with the family sounded like a dream. It was even better when the excuse was their best friends’ wedding.

“I really can’t wait for you and Blakey to get married, you know? Having time off is nice, but your wedding? That’s gonna be incredible. I’m so happy you’re the one who gets to marry him. I really can’t wait.” Em affirmed, looking at Charlie's happy face. She normally lights up at any mention of her man, but the grin only grew bigger as she talked about the wedding.

“I can’t wait either. I really wanna be my squishy face’ wife. He’s gonna look terrific being my Mr Friend-Clarke.” Charlie proudly blushed, drinking from her glass to justify and hide the pink color on her cheeks.

“He’s really doing it, isn’t he?” Em curiously asked. She knew Blake intended to add Charlie’s last name to his. He couldn’t care less about whether Charlie wanted to change her name or not. He said again and again that it was all up to her. However, when Charlie decided to do it, Blake said he was doing it too. If Charlie was gonna add Friend to her name then he was determined to include Clarke to his.

“Fuck yeah. You know, it was his idea, so I won’t fight him. If he wants to be a Clarke, that's his thing.” Charlie shrugged. Em knew she was pretending it was not a big deal, but it meant everything to her. The fact that her future husband wanted to also carry her family’s name right beside his felt surreal. “But don’t change the subject here. We were talking about you and your man. You guys are alright? I mean, overall and despite all the vroom-vroom craziness.”

“Yes, we’re okay. We're doing really well. Trying to adjust to the new weekends routine. Good thing is all this won't last longer than 2026, so it won't be that terrible. Or at least I hope it won’t be.”

“Its bad that I can’t wait for that?” Charlie breathed as her happy smile faded into a rather sad smirk. 2026 wasn’t coming fast enough for them.

“No, it's not. Me neither actually. I’m not gonna miss not being on a race track almost every weekend."

“How did you do it? I mean, you don’t like it. You don’t enjoy racing. You get nervous every time. You don’t like the mess and fanciness and fake shit that comes with it. I see your face every time you see how the garages are full of people outside and the track is also packed. You’re this little miss introvert sunshine in the middle of a circus full of extrovert people. How have you survived all these years? Like seriously, in how many races have you been?” Charlie wondered, making Em laugh at all the questions at once. She wasn’t surprised coming from her friend, especially not after all that time together.

"I have no idea how many. Less than a hundred I guess? I never counted them.” Em tried to do fast math, but there was no use. As the number of races changed every year, Dan missed the entire season the previous year, and she missed too many, so it was impossible to guess it quickly. “I really don’t know. But to your other question, I did it for Dan. I want him to be happy. He’s happy racing, so here I am.”

“I know but anyway, it's insane, Em.”

“Why did you leave your job and your family to follow Blake for two years around the world, partly living in a country you dislike?" Em replied, leaving Charlie thinking with her mouth slightly open and a frown showing on her face.

“It’s not that I don’t like the UK. Charlie defended herself just like every time someone accused her of not liking Em’s country.

“You don’t have anything against it, but you hate the weather.”

“It’s cold in summer! Summer is supposed to be warm, not cloudy and rainy!” Charlie and Dan sometimes disagree on some stuff. They were like siblings who fought over which M&M color was the best or which song was better, but they loved each other. But they always agreed on the weather. They hated the cold, they didn’t like the rain and they loved sunny skies and warm days. Living in London was like a nightmare for her because of the weather. Em was not surprised to hear the same words her husband normally says, but they came from Charlie’s mouth.

“You kind of sound like my husband, you know? Like a lot like him.”

“Cause we’re from cute sunny Perth, baby. We’re not made for cold European weather.”

“Your man is from Sydney and he doesn’t complain.” Em remarked, finishing what was left in her glass, acting like she said the smartest thing in the universe.

"It's because he's a saint. He’s marrying me, poor thing. He already has a spot in heaven for handling me and my shit. For handling us all. If he can deal with that, then I can deal with the cold weather for him.”

“And flying around. Because you’re scared of planes and there you are traveling around the world, jumping on planes every week." Em pointed out. Everyone around her knew how scared she was of flying. It was as overwhelming as Em's airport anxiety, but Charlie made it time after time. It took time, love, and patience, but she made it as long as Blake held her hand and reminded her everything would work out.

“I just don’t like turbulence and I told you, people are not supposed to be in the air! Same with huge machines. It's not natural." Charlie explained, giving the same answer she gave everyone who asked how she could be terrified of the safest transport system that existed.

“I know that, but my point is, you do it anyway cause you love Blake. You handle cold and rain and planes to be with him and because you want him to be happy. You fly and get cold, I get in noisy, packed places. We do what we have to do.” Em concluded, as Charlie grabbed the bottle of wine and poured what was left between their both glasses. “We are gonna get drunk, Char!”

“We have to finish it! It's to celebrate how fucking ridiculous we are, babe. We both know we wouldn’t have it any other way. We wouldn’t change our boys for the world and I drink to that, so cheers.” Charlie grinned, clicking her glass with Em’s to toast for their happy lives. “Or you know, Enchanté, as your husband says."

"Since you asked, we're talking about boys and relationships. How are you and my brother doing?” Em asked, taking another tiny sip and leaving the glass back on the black table. It would go to her brain sooner rather than later, but it was her one afternoon off, and the wine was really good. Good enough to send a photo to Dan and add it to their 'Wines Emmy likes' collection.

“We’re good. Better than ever really. Stressing a bit about the wedding cause it’s not easy to organize it from the other side of the world, but enjoying engaged life. A lot of engaged sex before it turns into married couples' sex. Just in case it changes and gets bored, y’know? But yeah, we’re okay. Really happy."

"Getting married doesn't change much. At least it didn't for us. And considering it's you? It won’t either. Like, I know I will regret asking this but really Char, how many days a week you…?” There was the wine finally and officially taking over and talking for Em. Her little prudent brain never let her talk about those things just like that, unless there was alcohol in her body.

“You’re trying to ask me how many days a week we have sex? You better keep drinking, sister.” Charlie smirked, knowing she finally got to the point she wanted to have ridiculous conversations. “And depends? Almost every day?”

"Oh, come on! That's insane."

“You shut up! B told me how you and Dan were basically like horny dogs for years, so don't come here judging, little missy." Check mate. Em hated to admit it, but Charlie was kind of right. Right enough to make Em blush.

“But not every day!” Em tried to defend herself, but her red cheeks and the silly smile gave her away too fast. Besides, Charlie knew when she was lying so it was in vain. “Maybe at the beginning when he came home and I didn’t see him every day but if we spent time together we didn’t have sex every day.”

“Okay but how many days? Spill it, sister.” That damn question.

“Charlie!” Em exclaimed, looking to the tables around them. Luckily, they were too far and too involved in their conversation to listen to what they said. “I don’t know. Four? Five on vacation? But normally, three? Depending on the week."

“Sounds logical. But I don’t care, really. I won’t lie and say it's too much for me because it's more than alright. If B doesn't complain we’re good. As long as he lets me sit on his di-“

“Char! There are people around!” Em interrupted, laughing like a small kid who was almost discovered doing something bad. The fact that she stopped Charlie from saying something worse let her know she wasn’t that terrible. Maybe. “If Dan was here he would say his dick is gonna fall one of these days.”

"Oh boy wine is finally hitting her!” Charlie laughed, not really believing the word ‘dick’ came from her best friend’s mouth, at least not in such a way. “But yeah, nah, it won’t. I know how to take care of my pretty boy. He is really looked after, so don’t worry about it. I take care of him so damn well that one day soon there might be two babies flying around the world with us."

Emma could see the exact moment Charlie shifted. She could see how she wasn’t supposed to open her mouth to say such a thing, but trust and wine together were bad advisors and they betrayed her. Em could only think of how her face reflected Charlie’s. A surprised expression on her face as she processed the words.

“Oh boy… Char are you…?”

“No.”

“But you’re trying, aren’t you?”

Charlie answered in a second. Em could see how she was trying to decide if she should say the truth or lie, but there was no use lying about it. “A bit. Maybe a lot. Like a lot.”

“I need a coffee. We need coffee. We can’t have this conversation like this, seriously." Em breathed, taking what was left of her wine and calling the waitress to order two coffees and water for them. It felt like suddenly more than one thing about her friends’ behavior made sense. Suddenly too many of the things they did had more logic about them. “Goddamn, that's why you stopped smoking at all.”

"How do you know that? Only Blake knows I stopped for good and he told me it was our secret.”

“Someone asked for a lighter the other day and you didn’t have one with you. You always have it. Always. Even if it’s to burn a building. Or a body. Or evidence.”

“I was planning to stop anyway. It's terrible for you guys and B hates it too cause it's bad for me.” Charlie tried to justify as they smiled and thanked the waitress for bringing their order.

Before Em could answer, she first drank water. Straight after she poured sugar on it and took a sip of her coffee. She needed to try, even though it wouldn't take effect fast enough. “We all hate it because it's terrible for you, Charlotte. And it went from one every once in a while to too many a week."

Em knew Charlie’s smoking history. She knew how it started in her university days, mainly recreationally, as she had drinks with her friends and classmates. As time passed, she got caught up in it, using it as a way to cope with stress from exams. She promised to quit after getting her PhD, and she did it. Charlie would only get one in a year, maybe two and only when she was really drunk. But the 'only while drunk' clause was omitted from the equation. Between planes, airports, hotel rooms, cameras, photographers, and strangers knowing who her boyfriend was, her anxiety only grew. When it happened and Charlie felt anxiety reached her peak of the day, she would sneak away from them and try to put it away with some nicotine. She would never smoke around them, so it would be a fifteen minutes break to return with her face and teeth washed and clean clothes. But as it happened more and more often to the point Em was thinking about making an intervention, one day it completely stopped. Now it made sense why she did it.

“We have a stressful life, Em." Charlie tried to justify, but there was no point in discussing that at the moment.

“Don’t change the subject."

“We’re trying. We started less than a month ago. We talked too much about it and we really really thought about it. We had a plan and were waiting, but with my family history of fertility issues? I’m not getting any younger and I don’t wanna risk it. I won't risk our chances. I can't wait, Em. I'm afraid of waiting too long and then finding out it won't happen, y'know?. I’m older than my mom was when she had Cal and I just- We always knew we wanted this at some point so we’re trying for it. I know it's terrible timing with the season and all that but-"

“Charlie, no." Em interrupted her friend, grabbing her hand from over the table to stop her from rambling. "Love, don’t do that. It's not bad timing. It is not. It could never be. Lulu having a travel buddy sounds wonderful."

If there was something that Em admired about Charlie, it was the way she always looked like she could own the world. It was effortless somehow. There was something about the way she carried herself. Em knew Charlie carried her heart on her sleeve and was the sweetest, most loving, protective, honest woman in the world. However, there was something about her that said she could take over the world if she wanted to. Em always joked that Charlie and Blake could take over the world if they wanted to do it, but they would rather snuggle on the couch. But just like Charlie was the most badass woman Em ever met, her friend also was one of the most sensible people she ever knew. That afternoon was not the exception and Charlie could see how her friend's face completely shifted. There was absolute relief on her face as she heard those words, her brown eyes shining even more.

“Really?” Charlie asked, and the happiness in her eyes slowly reached her smile, giving Em a tiny smirk.

“Yeah it does. It really does. Those babies will be so lucky to have you and Blake, Char." Em smiled, squeezing her friend's hand as the shock hit Charlie. "What? Don't look at me like that. I know you'd like more than one. I'm not silly. I saw you and Blake looking at the kids and whispering numbers. I kind of live with you, remember?"

"Is that obvious?" Charlie blushed, taking a sip of her water as she realized her friend had caught them.

“Not for anyone, but me and Dan its obvious. But I can totally see you with a bunch of tiny brunette babies running around the house. If someone has the patience for something like that, that's your husband."

“I know. Nobody has as much patience as that man. But maybe it's just one baby? I’d love to have a couple but I'd be happy with one.”

"One, three, seven, whatever. They’re really gonna be the luckiest kids in the world." Em had no idea if someone was ever really prepared to be a parent, but if someone was close enough, that was Blake and Charlie. After a bunch of nieces and nephews from Charlie's side and after spending the last months helping raise Lulu like she was their own, Em knew they were more than ready for it.

“You think?”

“I know it. Just like my Lulu is lucky to have you as godparents”

"We're lucky to be her godparents. You know I love all my nieces and nephews with all my heart and I don’t have a favorite but damn it, little baby Lu really is something else. That girl is a shining little star. There’s no way you don't smile when you see her with those big eyes and crazy curls. Like you really made an excellent one.” Charlie smiled proudly as she talked about her youngest goddaughter.

“That toothless smile is really something else, isn’t it?" Em grinned, still not believing how incredible her baby girl was. Charlie was right. Lulu was a bright little star who would put a smile on anyone's face. She was sweet, smart, funny, and gorgeous, the light of her parents life and the reason for everything they did. "But hey, soon enough we'll be covered in diapers and running around with two tiny ones. Just wait and see."

“You think our kids will be besties?”

“What's that question? Of course they will be best friends. That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

Charlie exclaimed excitedly, making Em laugh at her. "Maybe they get married and all!"

“Oh so you really don’t wanna get rid of me, uh? That’s why you want our babies to marry? So we’re family forever?” Em joked, but there was nothing that made her happier than thinking about spending the rest of her life like that, sharing lunches with Charlie and then returning back to their boys and babies.

“Exactly! Us? That's forever, baby.”

The most enjoyable thing about spending time with Charlie was how she always brought a smile to Em’s face. They were always able to make each other smile. A glass of wine and a long walk while shopping mostly for Lulu, Em could almost forget about her worries. She couldn't completely forget about them, but as Charlie dragged her to a fancy shop to buy some new lingerie, Em could at least put them to the side for a while.

Having a double dinner date was probably another thing they needed. More than once Steve switched from Dan’s trainer to Lulu’s babysitter, offering himself to look after her for a couple hours or even the night so the rest could have a night out without a baby car right by the table. Normally they would say no and it would be the six of them having dinner together, but on some weird occasion Steve would basically kick them out. Every hour, everyone in their group chat would receive a photo of Lulu, attached to a text that said something about their own date running perfectly. He always made sure Em and Dan didn’t worry about their daughter and they were thankful for it. That night they didn’t have to feel guilty about leaving Steve to the side because he was on his own FaceTime date with his girlfriend Sophie, so it was all good.

Just like Canada was wonderful, Barcelona was a disaster. The car was supposed to be faster with the new parts, but Em had to see her husband qualify P18 because the team decided to sacrifice their quali to test the ungraded parts. The last thing they needed was that. The last thing Dan needed was that, especially in front of his family. 

It had been a while since Em wanted to cry after a race, but that day she had to fight the tears. Knowing the kids were in the hospitality, Em took a deep breath and pretended everything was alright. It hurt her to see her husband fighting for something that some days seemed impossible no matter how hard he tried.

That terrible race was the reason why they didn’t say yes when Grace and Joe offered to take Lulu for the night after the race. Depending on the race and how tired Dan was, Blake and Charlie would look after Lulu for the night, giving the parents some time off to sleep without worrying or waking up in the middle of the night. But that night they couldn’t do it. Dan was tired, but he needed his girls. Em knew he needed both his girls, so after a family dinner they headed back to their room for some cuddles.

“You think she'll be proud of me one day? Even with the not so good years?” Dan asked in the dark, his head resting against Em's chest as she kissed his forehead while Dan did the same on her chest.

Even then, his focus was on Lulu. Their daughter slept in her crib right by their bed, never out of reach. They both slept better knowing Lu was there, especially in case a bad dream hit one of them and they needed to hold her tiny chubby hand.

“I know she will. As soon as she is old enough to understand, she will be so proud of her dad. Not only for everything you have accomplished but for how amazing you are. Just like I am proud of you, not only for going fast but for being the best dad and husband in the world.”

It melted her heart when Dan looked up at her as she said those words. It made her feel butterflies in her stomach, the same ones that appeared the night she met Dan. It was the same ones that never went away. They only grew stronger as time passed, especially when Dan kissed her as he did that night. “You’re the best mama and wife in the world. Absolutely the greatest.”

“I try my best cause my loves deserve it.” Em whispered against his lips, enjoying the feeling of her husband right there by her side. Her whole universe was in that room and she couldn’t ask for anything more. “I love you. I don’t care where you end up in the race, alright?”

“I love you too. So so much, Wrinkles. You have no idea how much. Six Barcelona races later and I wouldn’t change us for the world.” Between more lazy, soft, silent kisses to not bother their daughter, Em couldn’t help but smile again. Dan still made her blush, not really believing her luck in life when he said those things.

"How is it already six?" she wondered, still amazed. It felt like an eternity and three lifetimes passed since they met at Blake’s. But at the same time it felt like it was yesterday. Six years of the highest highs and lowest lows. Six years of the happiest and saddest days of her life. Six years and she would do it all again if it meant she ended up being Lulu’s mum and Dan’s wife.

“Dunno, but I love it. Best six years of my life."

“Don’t lie to me” she joked, biting casually his lower lip.

“Best six years of my life. And best six months of my life thanks to our baby moon.”

Leaving Barcelona to go to Austria wasn’t her favorite thing to do. She has nothing against that place, but she loved Barcelona way too much, so if she had to choose, she'd stay in the Spanish city.

Before they headed to the track, they decided to spend some days in Vienna to visit and show Charlie and Steve around. Em's favorite thing was also on the agenda. It was her annual tradition to go to the Belvedere museum to see some paintings, but mostly Klimt's The Kiss. She had it tattooed on her thigh, Dan loved to kiss it and say it looked a lot like them, but they also loved to go to the museum and see it. From the first time Dan made it happen and took Em there in 2019 it was their tradition to do it. They would stand there, Dan standing right behind her with his arms around her waist as Em rested her back against his chest. Sometimes they stayed silent, sometimes Dan whispered sweet words into her ear. But nothing ever compared to the feeling of being there with their best friend and especially with their daughter. Em walked with one hand holding Dan's and another holding her daughter's tiny foot. Like always, Lulu was strapped in her carrier against Em's chest, looking at everything around her.

"See that one, Lu? That's mama's favorite painting ever. I come here every year to see it cause it makes me happy. Your poor dada always comes with me, but now we can do it together to not drag him." Em whispered, kissing her baby's head making Lulu give her the best gummy grin.

"I love coming with you, so now it's the three of us." Dan answered, kissing both his girls. "There's nowhere I rather be than here with you."

Having walked around the city, shopped, and visited places for two days, it was finally time to leave for Spielberg for her husband's 250 race.

Em was never as skilled at maths as she appeared, but, in this case, maths was simple. Two hundred and fifty races were about four years and a half of racing. Two hundred and fifty Sundays when her husband got into a car and raced his heart out. He was almost in the top ten of F1 racing drivers with the most Grand Prix starts, and she couldn’t be prouder. Em was always proud of her boy, constantly reminding him how she loved him for who he was and not for his job, but she was tremendously proud of him. Dan always said the things he did weren’t sacrifices but choices, but Em knew half of it was true. Not being able to spend more time with his family and friends was both a choice and a sacrifice to do what he loved. Not being able to give his wife and daughter more of his time, not having the opportunity to take Em on more dates, letting her do most of the parenting was nothing and not being a full-time dad for Lulu every single day was on the top of his list of things he would wish to change. It was at the top of his list of things he wanted to change the second he retired. In the meantime, she kept kissing his cheeks, smiling at him and whispering how much she loved him and how he had a job to do.

But what surprised her the most was when Blake told her Dan’s 250th race was also her 100th race. When Charlie asked at lunch, Em still didn't have the courage to check. She still didn’t have the heart to count. Like she told Charlie, searching for a list and doing the maths would mean she had to look at the races she missed back in those terrible orange days and she didn’t intend to. She didn’t have the heart to do it. Her list of things to do grew, and she did not get upset about it. Most days she didn't let herself think about that and how tired she was. Her job was to look after her babies. Thinking about her tiredness would lead her to think about how much she wished to get home and it was impossible. It would lead to spiralling about her leaving a big part of her job, being a full-time mum, missing home, longing to be with their family, and a hundred things more. The saddest part was it made Em think how she knew Dan wanted another baby but they couldn't. Lulu was too young, Em didn’t plan to get pregnant again until their daughter was at least two years old, and she didn’t want to deal with a pregnancy and a toddler. She couldn’t deal with it if Dan was racing. She wanted to be home to do that, and Dan agreed, but she knew he wanted more babies. They didn’t want Lulu to be an only child like Em was. They wanted at least one more baby, but she could do another fifty races and celebrate her husband’s 300th with two kids on the road.

Em couldn't and didn't want to let her brain overthink all that. She wanted to celebrate her husband and all his races and the ones she had been by his side. She wanted to celebrate that and then his birthday and the fact that it was his first birthday with Lulu by their side. All Em's worries could wait for another week or two. If extra therapy sessions were necessary, she would have them for her family.

At the end, it was a miracle that she didn’t need it, but maybe it was the joy of seeing her husband smiling in his special helmet. She remembered the day Dan had the idea to do it like his helmet from his kart days, and she loved it. She remembered the excitement on his face as they lay in bed and Dan asked if it would be an good idea. There was a big difference from that night months ago to the day it became a reality. She saw the helmet when Dan brought it home, but there was a huge difference from when she saw it at the race in the Red Bull ring. Em looked at Dan taking it off its bag and for some reason, tears fell down her face. From that little boy who only wanted to go fast in his kart to the wonderful man he became, he had come so far in life. She was so proud of him. She was the luckiest girl to be there for six years of his career. She was the luckiest woman to be there for hundreds of those races.

“I thought we said no tears” Dan smiled, closing the gap between them in his room. As soon as they were one in front of the other, Dan reached her face, cleaning the tears with his fingers.

"I know, but they're really good ones. I’m so proud of you. All you did and you keep doing? God, I’m seriously so proud of you, baby."

“Y'know what's my favorite part about it? That you and Lu are here to see it. It's been crazy, but having you here makes it better and easier. Having our potato here?" Dan asked, pointing to their daughter with his head as she took her morning nap in her seat before the craziness and the noise started. "It really feels like a dream.”

“We have a little saint for a daughter." Em smiled, wrapping her arms around her husband and resting her head against his chest. She knew they didn't have much time, but she would enjoy every second of it.

“Just like her gorgeous mama. And thank goodness she's nothing like her papa.”

“Only on looks."

"That's why she’s precious."

“Then it sounds like she's exactly like her dad.” Em affirmed, kissing his chest before looking at her husband's face. “Thank you for letting me be by your side for a hundred races. It has been my pleasure, baby. No matter what form we were in, it's been awesome.”

“99 of those races should've been as you as my girl.” Dan admitted, kissing Em's nose before tucking her hair behind her ear. "I know what you'll say. You were my girl. You've always been my girl, but you were not my girlfriend. That's my one regret."

"It's your 250th race, there’s no time for regrets." she reminded him, moving one of her hands from his waist to his face, stroking his cheek with her fingers.

“There's no time for regrets, but there’s time for one more big hug from my lady wife." Even when they were still holding each other, Dan hugged Em as tightly as possible. For some reason it felt so peaceful that it didn't feel like they were on the track. It felt like they were home, except for the detail of her husband wearing the team's clothes. “Thank you” he whispered against her hair, breaking the silence in the room.

“For what?”

“For Lu. For existing. For being here. And for handling my daily shit. I think I don’t thank you enough for it.” He did. Heaven knew he did. Em was well aware of it and it was never an issue. Dan was always in awe of his wife and all she did for their family. But she also knew that after what happened with them and not talking about their feelings for years, Dan needed to remind her how he felt about them.

"You know how you can thank me?" Em asked, moving her face from his chest to his neck, kissing it a couple times and then his jaw. "Don't cut your curls during the summer break." Em liked the mustache and she was more than used to it, but if she had to pick she always rather the full bear. There was counted things Em loved as much as running her fingers through it. If she could get it back, she would be happy even if it was temporary.

"Emmy!" Dan exclaimed, forcing Em to cover his mouth for a moment with her hand.

"Shhh, you'll wake Lu up." Em whispered as Dan kissed her palm again and again. "I'm just saying. That and a full beard. That's how you make your wife happy. The whole daddy looks suits you."

"Fine. Anything else?" Dan asked as he took Em's hand off his face and held it against his heart.

"One of those new helmets for my collection."

"You know one is always for you. Anything else?"

Em said no with her head, then got in her tiptoes to kiss her husband's lips to close the deal. One. Two. Three kisses. That was the lucky number. She hated to let it go, but it made her heart warm even more as she looked at her husband kissing their daughter’s forehead carefully to not wake her up. A simple “I love you and see you later, yeah baby girl? Be good with mama while papa’s working, potato” was all Dan whispered while Em couldn’t stop thinking she had done something right in life to get them. No matter how crazy or difficult things were, no matter where they ended up working or living, if Em had her little family things were going to be okay.

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[sykokilljoyy]

hello 🤍 i really enjoy ur writing and would like you request a w2s x reader- where they both attend ethan & faiths gender reveal party together and he ends up getting major baby fever and also just very soft, in love, clingy harry. thankyouuuu :)

baby fever - wroetoshaw imagine

request: hello 🤍 i really enjoy ur writing and would like you request a w2s x reader- where they both attend ethan & faiths gender reveal party together and he ends up getting major baby fever and also just very soft, in love, clingy harry. thankyouuuu :) words: 797 warnings: none! a/n: hes actually the sweetest shut up. also thank you for your patience!

TLDR: harry just loves his partner and wants a baby.

Festivities were high, the energy of your friends bubbling through the crowd as you all stood outside, looking on at the beautiful decorations set up for Ethan and Faith’s gender reveal. It had been a special few months, a lot of celebrating and congratulating your friends for their massive milestone in their relationship.

Whilst it was emotional, seeing the man you’d known since you were a teenager, grown up with a beautiful girlfriend and a baby on the way, you couldn’t help but be elated for them.

Feeling a strong arm pull you into his side, your boyfriend, Harry, dragged you from your thoughts.

“You alright?” He muttered to you closely, pint in one hand and the other tucked around your hip.

“Yeah, yeah, I think so,” A sniffle crumbled your entire facade, earning a sympathetic smile from Harry.

“Come here,” He pulled you fully into him, placing a kiss onto your forehead and feeling you bury your head in his chest.

The cameras weren’t on yet, only a few handheld ones capturing Ethan’s friends and family’s bets on the gender of his future child, and so you let yourself have a little cry before the spectacle starts.

“I’m just so happy for them both,” You cried with a smile, a chuckle reverbarating through Harry’s chest.

Pulling you from his warmth, he tenderly put his hands on your shoulders, looking you in the eye, a soft smile on his lips, “I know, love, now come on, lets get you a drink and go see them.”

Wiping your tears, making sure not to smudge any of the makeup you had spent an hour on in the morning, you grabbed Harry’s outstretched hand and followed him through the crowd of Ethan’s loved ones.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with talking, laughing, singing and dancing as friends and family managed to catch up and celebrate before the big reveal. Both of you had been dragged from couple to couple, mums and siblings, cousins, distant friends and people you’d never even heard of before. As tiring as it was, the excitement still hadn’t died down.

It was Harry that surprised you most. Usually, these bustling social events would drain him until he was empty. He’d be distant and sensitive, usually a drink in hand. Today was different, however.

Not once had he left your side, his tone giddy and exciteable as though you’d only arrived moments before. Clingier than usual, his hand was slotted comfortably around your waist and hadn’t budged once. You pinned his flushed excitement down to happiness for his friend’s announcement, but something about the elated grin on his face whenever he introduced you as his girlfriend had your heart leaping from your chest.

“Yeah, I think it’s gonna be a girl!” You smiled at the camera pointed towards you, bright pink badge pinned to your jacket.

“I’m putting £250 on boy, so it better be one,” Harry laughed towards the lens, his tone playful and light, before smiling at the cameraman.

“Perfect, got it, thanks guys! Enjoy the afternoon.” With that, the cameraman walked onto another, gathering bets for the intro.

Nonchalantly, Harry looped his shoulder around you, taking a sip from his drink, “I can’t wait for us to throw something like this one day.”

Looking up at him, you grinned, “A gender reveal, or a really extravagant bet?”

“A gender reveal, you know. Our future kid is only gonna get the best.”

Shocked, you choked slightly on the drink you were sipping, halting your walk, “What?”

Stopping in front of you, Harry turned to you, confused, “What? You don’t want that?”

A slight sinking feeling reached his stomach, and you could see as his brow fell that his nerves crept in, “Of course I do, you know I do! I’ve just never really heard you bring it up, Harry.”

“I know I don’t talk about it much, but I love you, a lot, and I can’t wait for the day we have a little Harry running around, you know,” His words were soft, almost soft enough to distract you from how sheepish and nervous the man looked in front of you.

“Oh, come here,” You spoke, the warmth of his words hitting you in the chest, matching his flushed cheeks, you pulled him towards you. Though usually his hugs were gentle, as though you would break in his arms, this embrace he held you tight and flush against him.

“If this wasn’t Ethan’s big day, I swear I would propose right this second,” Harry mumbled into your hair, and you pulled back, about to speak when he continued, “But just know, I’m gonna marry you one day, Y/N, I promise.”

“I love you, Harry,” You whispered, the words delicate on your tongue.

“I love you, Y/N,” A kiss met your lips, sweet and special, as though the whole world had turned their backs, as thought it was only you.

[ohtobeleah]

Gift of The Gab // Bradley Bradshaw

Summary: Throat Cancer. It’s never the way Rooster thought he’d go out. But when he does—he gets to give Jake a piece of his mind.

Warnings: Throat Cancer. Mentions of suicide. Mentions of death. Bradley Bradshaw x Platonic!reader. Afterlife lore. Death.

Word Count: 2.1k

Author Note: Day Seven of Whumptober. Prompt I chose: Flatline. Thank you to @ailesswhumptober for the prompt list. This is also apart of the Life After Death Series

Bruises Masterlist | Whumptober Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Name: Bradley Bradshaw. Age: 60. Cause of Death: Aggressive Throat Cancer.  

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

“Get me a crash cart in here!!” There are distinct differences between male and female brains. Female brains tend to have a larger hippocampus, which usually makes them better at retention and memory. “He’s coding!” 

“Jesus what the hell happened here?” Male brains however, have a bigger parietal cortex, which helps when fending off an attack. Male brains confront challenges differently than female brains. Women are hardwired to communicate with language, detail, empathy. 

Men? Not so much. 

“He was fine five seconds ago! Dammit he’s flatlining.” But that doesn’t mean they aren’t any less capable of emotion. They can talk about their feelings. It’s just that….. 

Most of the time—they’d really rather not. 

***~***~***~****~***

It wasn’t uncommon for Bradley Bradshaw to wake up in an unknown environment. Over the years he’d made quite the reputation for himself amongst the young, dumb and hopelessly ignorant badge bunnies that would saunter into the Hard Deck. He never saw a reason to settle down, find the love of his life, create a family, grow old with someone. Everyone Bradley Bradshaw had ever cared to care about had left him in some way shape or form. 

But a name Rooster never thought would be added to that ever growing list of people who had left him behind, was Jake fucking Seresin. 

“Fuck—“ Bradley groaned as he rolled over onto his back, he could feel the draft coming up between his legs as he did. The hospital gown that was tied together in the back by three little bows did nothing to keep his broad shoulders, back, and ass covered. 

Across the way—Jake was busy in the horse pen trying his best to train one of the wild brumbies that hung around more often than not. He’d been trying for a few days. It wasn’t easy, but it was honest work that kept his mind at ease. 

“Easy boy—easy.” Jake cooed as he approached the gentle giant that had become used to his presence. “I’m just here to help.” He mumbled as he approached the horse he affectionately referred to as Simon the stallion. “We’re just gonna hang out.” 

Bradley sat up with a groan, he could feel the air in his lungs that he hadn’t been able to feel in what felt like an eternity. When he reached up to touch the port that he’d had in his neck for months to find that it was gone—Bradley couldn’t have been more confused if he tried to be. 

Where was he? Why did he feel thirty years younger? Why was he not in his hospital room with the blonde nurse he really liked? And—hold on a minute….is that? Is that Jake fucking Seresin? 

Bradley would never forget the day he walked into Jake's home and found him unresponsive. Seeing one of his closest friends lying there without conscious thought. It was one of the worst days of his life, nestled between losing his mum and dad. Jake's death affected everyone in all sorts of ways that couldn’t begin to be unpacked in a far too expensive therapy session. 

So—as a long drawn out beep rang out in Rooster's mind, the sound of his heart monitor flatlining, he stood and made strides to where Jake stood trying to gain the horse's trust. Ass on display and all. 

He never spoke to anyone ever about Jakes suicide, he never spoke about how it made him feel or acknowledged any of the trauma that came alone with seeing one of his best friends dead in his bedroom. Bradley thought with time Jake would be alright, he didn’t know how much he was truly suffering because Jake never spoke about it. He never spoke about your death and how you died. He never spoke to anyone besides himself in the depths of the night. 

Where no one could see just how much he missed you. 

Jake saw the man he’d left behind all those years ago in favour of reuniting with the love of his life coming towards him like a brick shit house. Jake couldn’t say he regretted doing what he did though—but he missed Bradley, every day. They were close, but he wasn’t you. 

“Shit—“ This was the reunion Jake had been dreading the most. “Sorry pal, looks like our session’s just been cut short.” It was only as Jake was jumping over the wooden fence that Bradley took off into an all out sprint in Jake's direction. “Bradshaw! What the hell—Oof—“ 

“YOU MOTHER FUCKER!” It was as painful as it was laced in spiteful anger. A rage that had burned in the depths of Bradley Bradshaw’s heart for years and years and years. He didn’t look a day older than when Jake had last seen the mustache clad aviator. “WHY DID YOU DO THAT? HUH?” Rooster laid as many punches as he could get in into the friend he hadn’t seen in years—getting out all his built up aggression. 

Maybe it was the past that was talking, screaming from the crypt telling Bradley to punish Jake for things he never got to do. It was his way of  justifying his anger. 

“Rooster! Stop man—“ Jake shouted back as he tried to wriggle his way out of this situation. “Would you cut it out! You don’t have any pants on!! Get off of me!” 

“YOU KILLED YOURSELF!” Rooster huffed as he dismounted from the wingman he hadn’t seen in over two decades. “You coward, I always thought you were stronger than me, but then I had my fucking fingers down your damn throat begging you to stay and I knew—I fucking knew you were the one who was full of chicken shit.” 

“For someone who’s got the gift of the gab you sure do talk a hell of a lot of crap man! Get off me!” Jake wasn’t backing down. He could do this all day if need be. But he knew Rooster had a lot to get off his chest. 

“Who’s dad yelling at mama?” Ellie asked as she watched her father swing a right hook into thin air. 

“You remember the imaginary friends we spoke about, baby?” You cooed as you held your daughter's hand and walked across the expanse of the gravel drive across to the paddocks. “Well—I think another one of daddy's friends is here.” 

“But I can’t see him?” Ellie frowned. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t see the people who had passed by your family farm. She wasn’t old enough to understand. But one day, one day you would tell her. 

“Because this is one of mummy and daddy’s friends darling, it’s like how we can’t see your imaginary friends.” As you made your way over with your daughter hand in hand, Jake caught your eye. He knew the moment Bradley saw you he would understand. 

“Bradshaw, your entire ass is hanging out for the whole afterlife to see.” You chuckled behind your hand as a heat so pure rushed to your cheeks. “Cute tattoo though, I always thought you had an ass tat but never got a chance to ask.” 

“Hollywood?” Rooster nearly collapsed on the spot when he saw you, it had been so long yet you looked exactly like you did the last time he saw you. “Oh my goodness, I—“ 

“Could you maybe stop beating my husband up? He keeps the house from falling apart around us, I need him in one piece.” 

“Husband?” Bradley turned back to where Jake stood dusting himself off. He caught the sight of a silver ring wrapped around his left ring finger. “You married Hollywood?” 

“Of course I did, I died for her—I wasn’t not going to marry her.” At the very mention of the word death it all sunk in. You could see it plastered all over Roosters face—he was connecting the dots. “Bobs been through, so has Nat.” Bradley felt again at his throat for scars and staples that were no longer there. “What was it?” Jake asked softly, he knew it was always better to rip the Band-Aid off. 

“Throat cancer—I think I flatlined, I just remember not being able to breathe and then I was here.” Bradley never thought he’d be one of those people who get some form of cancer. He didn’t smoke or do drugs. The most he ever did was drink and sometimes that could reach an excessive amount. Liver failure seemed more on brand for the Naval Aviator. Not throat cancer. 

“I’m sorry Rooster, that must have been awful.” You really didn’t know what to say, because what do you say to people once they’ve died. Natasha didn’t want to believe it. Bob seemed scared, Rooster though? He was just angry. 

“You were just gone—“ Bradley shrugged as he looked around the farm, amber orange from the mid afternoon sun made the fields look almost angelic. “You both took so much from me, I never saw a reason to love, to settle down, share my life with someone because I couldn’t put them through the experience of loss.” It made sense, but that was a heavy burden to carry. Jake wasn’t even sure he deserved to be the one to carry that load. “I saw what happened to the both of you and it scared me shitless, it made me so goddamn angry.” 

“Rooster—“ You cooed softly as you approached him. “Honey what happened to Jake and I, it was an extreme case.” You tried your best to explain as you reached out to touch his cheek gently. Bradley leaned into the gentle touch of a woman he kept a picture of on his mantle piece, alongside Hangmans. “You know we love you, but it was our time.” 

“Did you fight?” Jake asked as his daughter raced his way. Bradley watched as the man he’d known from the academy crouched to pick up who Bradley could only assume was his daughter. They looked the same in so many ways. But she was her own version of you too. “The cancer?” 

The silence that fell over the four of you as you waited for Bradley to answer was heavy, you knew he knew that he was dead. You didn’t need to explain it. But in the silence you saw a man racing across the field—there couldn’t have been two Dagger deaths in the same timeframe could there? 

“I wasn’t ready to die.” Be a man. People say it all the time. “I wasn’t ready, but I’m glad I got to tell you how much of a jerk you were for leaving us behind.” 

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t live without her Rooster—Hollywood, she’s everything to me, and after everything we went through? I never wanted her to be alone again, even in death.” 

You watched as the man ran and ran and ran—he looked like Bradley, just a little less buff and sporting the same stupid mustache. He wore a smile so bright it could have broken his cheeks. 

Your neighbour was Roosters dad, Goose, this entire time and you never even knew it. 

“I can still hear the beep, that flatline on the monitor.” Bradley explained as he furrowed his brows. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go back or not. “How do I stop it?” 

“Just means that you can go back, if you want to, someone’s trying to bring you back.” It was probably the doctors and nurses handling the defibrillator, giving him rough but life saving chest compressions. 

Be a man. But what does that even mean? Is it about strength? Is it about sacrifice? Is it about winning? 

“I don't think I wanna go back.” Bradley sighed as he watched you make your way over to Jake and your little girl. The perfect mix of the two of you. God he was angry, he was still so mad at how things turned out the way they did. Why you both did what you did. But he’d get over it. He had to, he didn’t have a choice: Because the beeping had stopped. He’d flatlined. 

“Bradley!” The man who Rooster had been trying to make proud ever since he was a little boy, called out as he ran. “Bradley! Is that you! My boy!” 

Maybe it’s more simplistic than that. 

Men have to know when not to man up. Sometimes it takes a real man to set his ego aside, admit defeat, and simply start all over again. 

“Dad?” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**

Whumptober Tags 🏷️ @xoxabs88xox @oldermenaremyreligion @slut-f0r-u @emma-is-cool @armydrcamers @topguncortez @topgun-imagines @kmc1989 @els-marvelvsp @blindedbythelightt

[theroyalsims]

ROYAL WEDDING UPDATE: THE GROOM, WEDDING PARTY HAVE ARRIVED

Sir Gus, Anya's soon-to-be-husband, has arrived at the Abbey!

Looking dapper in his tux and wearing his new honour and badge, Gus entered the Abbey with his mother, breaking protocol. In previous royal weddings, the groom's family entered separately, and the groom typically walks down the aisle, with his best man walking beside him all the way down to the altar.

Gus, however, asked if he could walk with his mother down the aisle, instead. He escorted his mother to her seat, before taking his place at the altar.

A rather nervous -but smiling- Gus is seen standing at the altar, waiting for his bride. At one point, he was even spotted wiping sweat off his brows with a handkerchief.

Prince Alistair arrived with his younger brother, Prince Nicky. Shortly after, Princess Ingrid arrived in a state limousine along with the page boys and bridesmaids.

There was some degree of chaos with the little tots. Gus' little niece, Sibel, seemed a little surprised with the crowds and camera flashes and was intent on looking for her mum.

Meanwhile, little Adrian Chegeya appeared to demand upsies from his cousin, Lady Emma, who happens to be one of the bridesmaids. The adorable page boy had to settle for a quick hug - poor Lady Emma did her best to pick little Adrian up, though!

Thankfully, things were ironed out quite quickly and the kids took their position, ready for the bride's arrival.

UPDATE:

It has been confirmed that Anya has left the Palace and is now en route to the Abbey! Stay tuned!

[thesealfriend]

Invisible Aids for Invisible Disabilities

How many mobility aids are in this photo?

Most abled people will say 1 - the walking stick/cane (am aware these mean different things in different branches of English but I can't remember the specifics).

Some more astute people, especially other disabled people, will note the glove too (especially if I could take a photo showing I only have one on my stick hand) - I can use the stick comfortably enough without it, but the extra grip and padding mean it's more comfortable to use for longer, even on days when my wrist or shoulder are acting up.

But the thing in the photo (and overall) that makes the most difference to my ability to exist and move and not be in pain isn't even something obviously injury/disability-related but hidden, like knee or ankle braces under my jumpsuit - it's the boots.

I bought these things for £45 off Vinted, a fraction of their value as military surplus goretex combat boots. They're not from a shop specialising in supportive footwear, or recommended by a doctor, they're just really good boots that give me more ankle support (and thus also help my knees and hips) than any other shoes I've ever worn.

Since I bought these boots, I've barely needed to use my stick, and definitely not enough for it to worsen my arm issues, which is fantastic. It's also one less thing to hold and carry (it's my mum's old NHS one which is the only one I've found that's tall enough and can be held comfortably, but unfortunately isn't collapsible) and for my ADHD ass to leave next to the checkout by accident (because I've stopped hurting in the time I've been able to stand still and stretch and thus have forgotten it exists).

It's also one less signifier to the outside world that I'm disabled. Because people that don't know me are much more likely to see me without the stick than with these days, and people who do are going to see how much less I'm using it and think I'm doing better, as opposed to feeling exactly the same but for different reasons.

My wonderful partner got me this excellent badge a few months ago and it's definitely helped when it comes to like, public transport - people will still not tend to notice it and Offer me a seat, but they'll at least see it and be polite if I either ask them for a seat or if I'm asked to move because I look young and healthy:

But it's about 2 inches across and while it's brightly coloured it's not quite the same instant and at-a-distance signifier of "hey I'm in pain/struggle with mobility" as my walking stick does, especially since I wrapped the latter in glittery UV-fluorescent caution tape (mostly for aesthetic reasons but also because I frequently take this thing clubbing/to gigs and I don't want it to be a tripping hazard). For a while, I was using the stick on everything but my best days, now I'm only using it on my worst (or when I'm expecting a flare) and the badge has actually become necessary to point out "hey I'm still sore" instead of just a nice additional note.

I don't actually know where I was going with this, it's just interesting to think about how by making things easier for myself on one axis, I'm shooting myself in the foot (heh) on another. And maybe useful to remind other disabled folk that whatever you use to make life easier, whether it's a product designed for accessibility (mobility aids, grips for tools, orthotics and braces etc) or just a really good pair of boots and a comfy glove, that is something that's necessary for you to live your best life and you should never feel bad for requiring access to it. 💜

[explosiondigitalcomwant]

[kleefkruid]

Hi,

If it's not too personal to ask how do you manage so many friends and relationships as an autistic person, quite frankly I'm in awe and want to know your secrets because I suck at it badly and I'm quite lonely.

Hi anon! I actually don't have too big of a social circle. Well in the eyes of the average person who does not have social issues. But while I don't have data on the amount of friends autistic people have, I think we can safely assume it tends to be lower than the average.

But that wasn't the question, so I'm gonna break down where my relationships (general) come from, from obvious to more complicated.

Firstly I have a pretty good relationship with my family. So, I'm often out and about with my mum, and when I get too lonely I can call her so she's kinda the baseline. I also do trips with my step-sister. We did not grow up together (8 year age gap, I was out of the house when she arrived) but we have a lot in common and do art shows together, free friend.

Secondly, dating. I'm better at dating than making friends tbh. I use dating apps, always. Here I honestly have the advantage that I have a pretty agreeable face. It's a pretty basic maths game. I'm thin, I have red hair, I dress fairly feminine, I get responses. However personality wise I'm very authentic on there so a lot of these conversations end pretty fast haha. But because I have a pretty high first response rate, I also get the people who like it when you're a bit odd. I always try to keep the talking online part pretty short.

Thirdly, the first way I make friends is mooching off my family and friends. This is a time honoured practice amongst autistics. As a young child I would get put in the same hobbies as my cousins, and so when the friends from our hobby invited my cousin somewhere, they kinda had to ask me too. As an adult you can pretty much do the same thing, although it's pretty much more accepted now, most notably in the concept of bringing around a partner. Most people I've met the past year have been trough my partner. I met their housemates by well, being in the house, I've met their colleagues in the tattooshop, I've met other friends and I've also just met a lot of their aquintances. Because they do tattoo events, in a pub for instance, and I helped, the people in this pub know me now too. The first time I'm just 'some date' helping out. But now they know me as a seperate person. I can run into these people and have a talk with them. My partners best friend liked my badges, and I said she could try making some if she wanted. So we did that. I would not know any of these people without my partner. Some of them will always be my partners friend first, but there are some of their aquintances I know better now, because I ran into them more often, or we had something in common my partner doesn't.

The fourth part is the difficult one. That's just straight up talking to new people without any mediator. Generally this is easiest done where nobody else knows each other either. For instance when you start a new degree, everyone is generally pretty open to talking to new people because well, everyone is new. Some people might already be paired up but they generally want to know more people. I started a degree this year. So I've been talking to new people there. Some people made it easy, like a guy who went round asking everyones phone numbers to start a class whatsapp. Besides that it's just the classic kinda forced ways, like when you're both clearly walking into the same direction and you already know this person is in your class but you still go "hey, you're also in (class) right? Good, I'm going the right direction then!" it's all scripts too honestly, we're not the only ones that resort to those. Outside classic settings like a new school it's a bit more complicated, but the art is figuring out when people do like to have a new conversation. For instance today I did an art market again. You're put next to random people, and you're there for hours. No matter how good the day goes, there are boring bits. When people are insanely bored, they're pretty happy to talk, espectially about their passions. So I'll ask how their sales are going, which immediately turns into a conversation about their work. I also will ask them to watch my stuff while I go to the toilet, and then tell them I don't mind doing the same for them. People seem to prefer that order over me just going "hey I can watch your stuff," they'll accept my help when they've already helped me.

You probably notice this is a lot of analysing. I do that a lot. I see what other people say to initiate conversations, make note, and try the same sentence later. It's not like masking bc I'm still being myself, but I'm utulising other peoples social skills just like you'd use cooking techniques you've observed. If you bake a succesful cake you're not fake baking, and if you make a genuine fun social connection it's not masking either. My partner is very good at talking to new people bc their job is to make people comfortable before stabbing them with many tiny needles. So I've been learning a lot from them. I have another friend who will not initiate so many conversations, but who is very chill and just inviting like that. I also try to take from that.

I also try to keep a lot of tiny little doors open. If someone is interested in a material I use, I'll go "if you want the link, message me sometime, here's my instagram. Offering to make buttons with my partners friend is also an open door. I didn't say "we should do that" I went "If you want to try sometime, I can send you the template, just let me know!" and they did come back to it. Often people don't, but often they do. Because I left an open invitation. When I post an event I'm doing or Danny is doing on here, that's also an open door. Much more general and less people will respond to that bc it's general, but some people do!

This is very specific to my situation, but it is a breakdown of what I do! Today on an art market I ran into some friends of my sister. I ran into 2 people I had a conversation with after one got a little tattoo at Danny's event. I also talked to my neighbors at the table. I talked to someone I previously bought art from. Yesterday I was out with my dad I ran into a friend of my mums, and a girl who got a tattoo last time at the pub event. It's all tiny networks. All these people (except my mums friend) I've met in the past year and a half. Just continuously going out. Sometimes trough people, sometimes by doing things on my own, like the art market, or school.

and yes doing this is all still stressful haha, I was diagnosed with social phobia only 3 years back. It's constant exposure therapy. I still go "oh why did I say that" multiple times a day. but yet people do want to hang out with me. Not all as intensely, but enough to have fun and not be lonely every day. Still some days, but always getting better.

this is a very long answer but you know, the autism is in the details, if I'd say "oh you know I just talk to people" that would be no use :)

[slashingdisneypasta]

Jim Bickerman x Fem!Reader || (Long) Imagine

Plot: You were lost in the woods, you almost died- but a nice man with an eyepatch saved you ^^

Warnings: Y/N kinda trauma bonding to Jim. Jim kinda abducting Y/N. Allusions to a pretty large age difference. I told y'all I wanted to write him worse XD Written on my phone+unedited.

Imagine being lost in the woods for a week, holding onto the brink of life, when you're found by a random poacher. You're terrified and deprived (of food, water, sleep, heat- everything), and he wasn't even looking for you, and the police you talk to seem all-too-familiar with him, but when he takes you to the sheriff's office you don't want him to leave you there. No. Please. Your eyes fill up with tears as you hold onto his arm, abandoning the hot coffee a deputy handed you and almost letting the wool blanket slip from your shoulders. "P- please stay with m- me. I dont know anyone."

"Y'dont know him, either." The Sheriff mutters, rolling her eyes but- trying, in some way, to remain compassionate.

The man - he told you his name was Jim, and you could call him Jimmy. He was nice. Well, you thought he was nice. He saved you, you felt safe with him, - looked unsure, eye flickering between your wide pleading eyes to the Sheriff with her eyebrow raised at him; waiting expectantly for a responce. A nervous smile washes over his face. "I mean, uh- who am I t' turn down a pretty girl in distress, huh?"

"For god's sake." The Sheriff shakes her head, leaving to make some calls, muttering. "Y'know the world's gone nuts when Jimmy Bickerman saves the day. Yeesh."

The entire time you're at the station waiting for someone who knows you to come, your mum or your dad or a friend- maybe a boyfriend? (You don't know. You hit your head, and you don't remember much) you stick right by Jim like a baby duck. You start to feel terrible anxiety fill you up whenever he leaves.

He doesn't leave you much, though, taking responsibility for you almost as soon as you flashed those teary eyes at him and begged for him to stay with you. He kept close tabs on you, making sure you were warm enough now and getting you something to drink if he thought you weren't (slipping a little Something in it to make you feel even warmer. It was his special stuff, he told you with a wink. You werent sure if alcahol was the best cure for you, right now, but you drank it anyway- it felt good. It warmed you up from the inside out), he bugged Sheriff Reba to order you food from the diner when you finally started to feel hungry again and eating with you so you didn't feel awkward being watched like a feral forest person (it was kindof like a date, you thought, as your senses were beginning to return to you. He flirted with you a little bit, but it just made you feel nice and normal), he talked with you to distract you...

When you started to remember things, why you were in the forest and who you were and where you came from- it was because of him. He was talking to you about himself, and you were listening intently (He was nice, he was interesting, he was funny. You thought you would've liked him whether he found you in the woods almost dead or not) and slowly things started to come back to you. Jim encouraged you, and then made a crack at Reba about him doing her job better then she did. How she should hand over her badge.

She mentioned how if he ran this town then he'd probably try to enact a bi-weekly Purge night, but gave you a kind grin and said she'd call your parents. They'd come to get you. You seemed better but she still didn't like the idea of you driving home yourself. Or letting Jim take you home, either. God forbid.

At this point you were full, warm, and had changed into some spare clothes the Sheriff station kept on-hand. But you still felt... out-of-place. Nervous. Like you had changed from this experience and no one understood you- you were afraid your parents wouldn't be the same either. It was silly, but you felt like the only person who knew you now... was Jim.

You didn't want to leave him. You wanted to stay.

He saw the worried look on your face after Reba left to call your parents, and nudged you. "Hey. If I didn't know better missy I'd think you were sad, now."

"I... " You start, but can't find words, and frown. Yes, you felt better-- but the talking was still a struggle. It was hard to put all your thoughts in order. It was hard, it was frustrating.

"Y'dont wanna see your mom and dad?"

... you just shrug. Of course you do- don't you?

At least part of you does. The part from a week ago. The little girl in you that just wants to go home.

... but the more prominent part of you feels like running. Are they going to like you now?? The confused, scared, rougher version of you?? Would you see Jim again!??

The thought that you possibly wouldn't, that your parents would take you away without a second word to him aside from 'thanks', not taking his phone number or anything, sends a spark of panic through you. You could ask for it now-

"Um- " Turning to him, you earnestly held up your hand and pretend to write on it. "Do you- have- um, a phone number?"

He winces, and your heart plummets. He tells you he doesn't have a phone, and you think- that sounds right, from what you've learnt about him over the past day. He doesn't even have a permanent home at the moment, he's staying in a motel room above the bar in town. Damn.

Jim seems just as put-put out, but after a moment, he leans over to you with fresh excitement; a new idea. He pats your thigh. "Tell you what- how about you write down your home address; and I'll send ya letters. Maybe pay ya a visit sometime~ Hm?"

Immediately you wilt. "I- I don't remember it... "

"... right. Damn."

Sighing, you break your gaze away from him and look sadly down at your hands in your lap. "... I could... call the bar?... "

"Yeah sweetheart, you better." This time he puts his hand on your arm, and squeezes. You let out another sigh; he's touched you so much this whole time you're going to miss it so bad when you leave.

When you don't look any happier, more like a wet kitten than ever (and he found you covered in mud and scratches and leaves), he can't handle it. He hates it. Truth be told, he'd caught some kindof feelings for you over the last day. You weren't just his responsibility here; you were a cute, sweet little thing, and when you started remembering shit you turned out to be pretty damn funny. And real interesting.

-and fucking damn him to hell for noticing, but the soggy forest girl had a nice ass, too.

He did not want to part with you, either. He sure as hell didn't want you upset about nothin, either.

Not if he could do something about it.

"Y'know what?" He starts, getting one of those ideas that the town calls him nuts for, looking darkly in the direction that the Deputy is sitting in the room; cheerfully going over documents. Curious, you raise your gaze and look at him, waiting for 'what'. "If you don't wanna see yer parents- I mean- well," Another nervous smile flickers across his bearded face- but this time its got a hint wryness to it. Almost wicked. "I might have an idea."

"... what?" Nothing about the look on Jim's face or the menacing tone in his voice suddenly makes you weary. You're almost... excited. What's he thinking?? "Whats- what's your idea?"

He takes a deep breath, leaning so close you can feel his shoulders raise with it. "-well, my truck's in the lot still."

"Mhm... "

"I'm bettin' we can get there before your parents can get all the way here."

It takes a moment for the meaning behind his words to settle in your muddled brain- but when they do, your lips part in surprise. "You- you wanna take me home with you??"

"Uhuh." He finally looks at you again, your wide shocked eyes and cute nose and nice mouth. The dark fog in his eyes clears up by about half, looking at you. "If you wanna."

Before you even know what you're agreeing to you're nodding, getting up. "Yeah- I mean- yeah. Let's g- go."

A roguish grin slips across Jim's face from under his trucker hat.

"Thats my girl."

[romione-trope-fest]

Title: Perfect Prefect Present

Author: Nena-96, Nena96 on ao3

Selected Trope: OOTP

Rating- T

Brief Summary: Ron is transfixed uwith the thought of being the New Gryffindor Prefect, when an idea of using his new Cleansweep entered his mind. However, Hermione who was wearing a pink robe and bunny slippers was there to stop him.

Word Count: 2,672

Relevant triggers: None

Ron couldn’t help staring at the scarlet banner that was hanging up above, he was surprised that his mum had somehow managed to create it in such short notice. He didn’t expect her to make such a fuss about him being the new Gryffindor Prefect, especially since he’s the fourth Weasley to become one. He had placed his prefect badge inside the pocket of his trousers, originally he was going to wear it on his jumper but the thought of Fred and George taking the mickey out of him made him think again. Besides, it was better that way, he was keeping it clean and out of harm's way, just like a good Prefect would do. It was truly unbelievable that he was selected to hold such a position at Hogwarts, maybe the Mirror of Erised wasn’t lying about him becoming Head Boy.

Merlin's saggy balls, that would be wicked. That would be better than the Chudley Cannons winning the Quidditch World Cup. The team did let go of its former coach, so it's possible that this year’s season would be better than the last. Blimey, that would be absolutely brilliant, but he didn’t want to be overly optimistic because things don’t always go as planned, but there’s no harm in manifesting a great year for his team.

Ron shook his head, as he slipped his hand into the pocket of his trousers and brought out his badge. He traced his freckled finger upon the letter P, the hard ridges made him realize that this was in fact reality and not just another dream. He was chosen to be Gryffindor’s Prefect and damn it, he was going to prove that he deserves this more than anyone else. He might be the fourth Weasley to become Prefect but that only meant that he was going to be different.

Yeah, first it was his older brother Bill, then it was the second eldest Charlie, right after that it was Percy, which in all honestly wasn’t surprising in the slightest. Then it was him, Ronald B. Weasley, to say he was shocked was an understatement but he was also filled with immense pride. Ron didn’t want to overthink and enjoy this night, his mum had gone all out for the celebration and he wasn’t going to sit out the fun.

During the celebration that his mum had thrown, he was shocked when Mad-Eye congratulated him. Even though he was glaring at him with his normal eye, while his other eye was swiveling all around. Most likely keeping a lookout for anything that would go amiss, you know Constant Vigilance , Regardless of the awkwardness he felt proud that one of the greatest most ruthless Auror had congratulated him. Hell, even Tonks, another great Auror, all a bit clumsy at times if you ask him, was also glad he was selected to be a Prefect. She even gave him some wicked new tips to use on his brand fucking new broom that his mum had got him.

Fuck.

He couldn’t believe that his mum had brought him a new Cleansweep, if nobody was around he might have fucking cried. It wasn’t just because he got a brand new broom it was the fact that he could have something that was only his and not just another hand-me-down. Sure, it wasn’t a Nimbus, because he knew it was expensive and he didn’t want to have his mum waste her galleons on him.

His new Cleansweep was everything he wanted, the handle was made of Spanish oak and it also had built-in vibration control, which would come in handy when it gets windy up in the Quidditch pitch. Ron had to try his best to not rush outside with his broom and do a couple laps in the sky.

Hell, maybe he could go for a fly, while the others are asleep. It wouldn't do any harm, not like anyone would see him. He could try and nick the invisibility cloak for a few hours, not like Harry would mind.

Yes, fuck yes…that’s exactly what he’ll do.

Ron pulled away from his thoughts and looked around, he tried to listen for any movements upstairs, once satisfied with the quietness he walked over to where he placed his Cleansweep. He picked it up in the most gentle manner possible, his fingers closed over the handle of the boom and was ready to make his way out from the basement.

Everything was perfect, Ron managed to make it up the stairs so quietly that even Moody would be proud of his stealth. Once he got to the very top of the stairs, he turned to close the basement door slowly, making sure not to awaken the others. Once satisfied with the closed door, he nodded his head and grabbed his broom tightly. Before turning around and almost falling straight to his arse, in fear. Ron dropped his broom to the floor before clutching at his chest and trying to somehow retrieve his soul that momentarily left his body, when he was face to face with Hermione.

It wasn’t that his bushy-haired friend scares him ... .well come to think of it he is fully aware of what she is capable of doing. For crying out loud, Hermione had set flames to Snape’s robes, but then again that wasn’t scary, that was hilarious. Bloody brilliant, if he might add…he would pay to see that happen again as a matter of fact, but no that wasn’t why he almost woke up the entire Grimmauld Place. It was because the girl who currently had her hands on her hips and some kind of green junk on her face. Literally her entire face was covered in that gunk, he almost was going to say that she resembles the mountain troll that he had taken down in first year in the girl’s bathroom. Then again she was loads more beautiful than- wait, what the hell, Weasley you shouldn’t think Hermione is beautiful she’s your best friend, besides Harry of course.

Yet, he didn’t think that Harry is beautiful, the way he knows Hermione is…you know…beautiful. Harry looked, well he looked a bit like a brooding little git, while Hermione well, she didn’t look like a git. It was difficult to explain, shit- no he didn’t mean she looked like shit its just shit. He shouldn’t be thinking of how she looks, even now as she was wearing that green gunk on her face, he can’t help but see past that and see her beauty.

Fuck.

He did it again, damn it Weasley. Get it together.

Focus, he has to get a grip on reality and not fall into uncharted territory of thinking about how bea- no stop, pay attention. Fucking focus!

Think of something else, anything that can take your mind off of the short, yet feisty busy-haired girl who was wearing an overly fluffy pink robe and was currently tapping her bunny-eared slippers onto the oakwood floor. Ron looked around the hall and tried to focus his mind on anything, he tried looking out the window, yet it was futile since the curtains were closed. Yes, he could always walk away and pretend like she didn’t almost catch him trying to sneak out, but he knew that Hermione wouldn’t let him off the hook. He also wasn’t about to make tit out of himself and make Hermione pissed to the point she tries to hex his bollocks off. Yeah, he was quite fond of his bits, if you cared to ask.

Even though Hermione would talk his ear off about how underage magic is illegal, which he already knew but it’s fine, Ron let his insightful friend have her moment. Which had ended up being almost an hour and a half, mind you. However, the funniest thing happened, on several instances he caught the little know-it-all using magic to decontaminate multiple parts of Grimmauld. You should’ve seen the look of surprise on her face, it was downright adorable seeing her blush so hard. She could- damn it Weasley you’ve done it again. Honestly what is bloody wrong with you, tonight? It was like his thoughts were going haywire with just the sight of her in front of him. So, instead he did the one thing he knew best, shove his foot seven different ways into his mouth.

“Hermione, what the bloody fuck do you have on your face?” He asked after taking a couple of deep breaths, waiting for his heart rate to slow down. You know since he got frightened at the sight of her…no not of her just seeing her suddenly made him-

“Oh, honestly, you shouldn’t swear,” Hermione gritted out, even under all that gunk Ron could tell that Hermione's face was burning scarlet at this precise moment. "If you must know, this is a Muggle beauty practice to remove blemishes, its a thick paste that should remain on the face for roughly thirty minutes and....."

Ron stared at her in utter confusion, as Hermione was prattling on about how thick the consistency of the paste has to be before applying it onto her face. Ron couldn't help but wonder if all Muggle women partake in looking like mountain troll for a few hours a day just so they won't have any acne-

"Excuse me, did you say I look like a mountain troll?" Hermione narrowed her eyes so much it look like slits, and yes ladies and gentlemen he was royally without a doubt fucked at this precise moment. Unless, he plays dumb and can attempt to deny ever saying that because technically he was thinking it so it's completely different. Or, he could rectify the situation and not be at risk of getting hexed.

A long silence sweeps between the two of them, and Ron could feel the tell tale sign of his neck starting to warm up. It would be a matter of seconds before his entire face rivals the scarlet of the banner downstairs. He took a deep breath and realized what he had to do, “Well, I didn’t say you looked like a mountain troll, I said Muggle women and last I checked, you're not a woman. Not- not that I was looking at you in any way, I-erm, it's just that you're a girl.” Ron finished lamely, before picking up his broom off the floor.

“I am a girl, thank you for taking notice, and just for the record, both women and girls can enjoy a bit of relaxation every once in a while. That doesn't classify them as a mountain troll,” Hermione replied curtly, raising her chin up ever so slightly.

“Erm, yeah..I didn’t mean that it's just i don’t see why you need to wear any of that.You’re fine the way you are-”

“Oh, well, t-thank you. You also look fine the way you are, not that you’d need to wear anything on your face, since you don’t have any blemishes. You only have freckles and they’re rather nice to look at…not that I've looked at them more than an average amount of time of course,” Hermione hurriedly added.

Wait…he thought, does this mean that she’s been looking at him in a different way other than friendly. Sweet Merlin, he only hopes that she wasn’t also thinking about Harry in that way, just the mere thought made him feel queasy. Ron wanted to blame the sudden nausea that he feels on all the food he ate. Plus, the memory of how Moody had taken out his magic eye and placed it into a cup filled with water. Everyone saw the way in which the eye swiveled inside the cup, it was rather uncomfortable to say the least.

Shaking his head, Ron decides that maybe he should get some rest instead of going out for a fly, he wasn’t feeling well and being alone with Hermione is doing his head in. Hopefully this wasn’t a taste of how patrols would be at Hogwarts, then things would definitely have to change.

“Well, since it’s late we should head to bed,” he said with a fake yawn as he stretched his arms over his head.

“Oh, yes…of course,” Hermione replied quickly, yet it didn’t fool him. It sounded like she was sad and he hadn't the minor clue as to why.

“Hermione, did you need anything else?” He asked, watching as she began to toy with the sleeves of her fluffy robe. She huffed, before biting her bottom lip and…ok wow, even with a face covered in that Muggle beauty paste, Ron couldn’t help but feel frozen in place and stare at his bushy-haired best friend.

“I wanted to apologize from the way I reacted earlier,” Hermione mumbled so quietly that he almost missed what she had said, luckily he didn’t. “I shouldn’t have been so surprised that Dumbledore chose you, honestly that was quite rude of me and I-I’m glad that you’re going to be my partner during rounds. Also, I wanted to give you this, it’s nothing really, just a little thing that I made, it’s so you can keep your badge safe when you're not wearing it of course,” Hermione rambled as she thrusted a hand-knitted case onto his palm.

He couldn’t believe it, Hermione had knitted his initials across the top in black yarn, and right under it, the word Prefect was stitched in gold. He couldn’t believe that she had made him this, let alone found the time to make him a present fit for a prefect.

“You don’t have to say anything, it’s rubbish. Here just give it back and we can forget I ever gave it to you,” Hermione said as she tried to swipe it from his hands, yet he was much quicker than her and managed to move it from her grasp. “No, it’s bloody perfect, Hermione…I don’t know what to say,” Ron said sincerely.

“Don’t lie, it's hideous. I know I’m not an amazing knitter like your mum, but I tried my best and well…if you don’t like it I’m sure I can come up with something else-”

“Are you kidding? I love it, honestly.” He said as he looked into her brown eyes, hoping that she realizes he isn’t taking the mickey. The longer he looked at her the more he realized that moments like these makes him want to just lean down and-

“Hermione, what if I told you that I have a present of my own to give you?” Ron asked, as he leaned down closer to face.

“I would say that's a load of dragon dung,” Hermione replied, not noticing that they were both slowly eliminating the barrier between them.

“How about this, close your eyes and you’ll find out for yourself,” he said before swallowing hard, instead of a reply, Hermione only nodded her head as her eyes fluttered shut. Ron couldn’t help but look at the way her dark lashes fluttered as she was breathing so gently. “Ready?” He asked her, allowing her the time to stop this if he went too far, however instead he watched as she licked her bottom lip. That was all it took for him to close the distance and place his lips against her soft ones, it wasn’t the most practical moment, since his face was now being covered with the thick green paste. Yet, it was indeed the perfect prefect present that he could ever give, and he was beyond ecstatic that Hermione didn’t pull away. Instead she slowly slid her hands up, before letting her arms wrap around his shoulders.

They were lost in the moment, it wasn’t perfect at the slightest, he lost track of the amount of times she accidentally bit hit bottom lip, or the times his long nose bumped into hers. The amount of times he ingested the horrid green paste, yet….this was perfect and nothing could change this moment they had together.

[changingplumbob]

Chopra Household: Chapter 6, Part 12

The twins celebrate TV premiere day and Viola ages up to a toddler!

If Viola is attempting to say something it will be in brackets, otherwise you can assume it's just trying out sounds Mercedes has a speech delay and may get words wrong, correct wording will be in brackets if that is the case Savannah aka Honeybee Mercedes aka Little Ladybug Viola aka Green Bean

Lavina: You want... another one? I should think three are enough of a handful already

Rahul: Mum, Cassandra and I want a big family

Lavina: Well I think it’s a terrible idea. The ones you have are already disrespectful

Rahul: Think what you like, we’re trying

Lavina: I suppose you could get lucky and the fourth one will be good mannered

Rahul: Mum you have GOT to stop talking the kids down, they need to be lifted up

Lavina: All this coddling nonsense-

Rahul: I try to be strict mum, I tell them off when they mess up, but there’s only so much they can understand at their age. If you expect me to send them to bed without supper you will be disappointed

Cassandra: Where’s mama? Where’s mama?

Viola: ga du da (I not know)

Cassandra: Here I am Viola

Viola: gree de na na (that’s impossible) *wails*

Cassandra: Oh, it’s okay. Its okay. Mama is here, mama is fine, you are safe green bean

Rahul: Who’s crying? Viola what’s wrong

Viola: *cries* he na di (I not understand)

Cassandra: Turns out she doesn’t like peek-a-boo

Rahul: Don’t tell me I did all that practice on Milton for nothing. Here green bean, watch papa. Watch papa, I’ll do it slowly

Cassandra: Good idea. She’s looking

Rahul: Papa hides. Where did papa go? Oh! Papa is right here with Viola and Mama

Viola: *giggles* gu fa fa (okay that not so scary now)

Cassandra works on her guitar playing before her shift while Rahul takes the calm moment to spend time with Viola.

Rahul: Would you like a younger sibling? I bet you would. You would have an ally against your big sisters wouldn’t you?

Mercedes: TV new (premiere) day here we GOOOOO

Lavina: What

Savannah: It’s a new episode of The Pride Family nana

Lavina: And what’s that

Savannah: Just the best cartoon show. The family’s last name is Lion so they call it the Pride family because a group of lions is a pride

Lavina: Oh how clever you are, here, have a candy

Mercedes: Where’s my candy nana

Lavina: Tell me something clever and you’ll get one

Savannah: Come on nana, Mercedes is super clever

Lavina: As soon as you get in the habit of saying please when you ask, more candy will appear

Rahul: Has it started yet

Mercedes: Almost, 4 and a half minutes to go

Lavina: Don’t tell me you still watch cartoons son

Savannah: Papa is the best at cartoon watching, he always watches with us

Mercedes: Unless Viola is crying

The premiere goes well and at the end Rahul helps the girls with their homework.

Mercedes: Papa I lost my first tooth today

Rahul: Did you little ladybug

Savannah: Yeah in class. We kept it safe now we can both put our teeth under our pillows together

Lavina: But Savannah you lost your tooth several days ago

Mercedes: She was waiting for me nana so we can see the tooth fairy together

Rahul: So if we tick off today, I think you’ve both earned your first scout badge

Mercedes: Yes! Which one

Rahul: Manual says scholarly aptitude

The twins stare blankly at Rahul and then pull confused faces at each other.

Rahul: It means you’ve been doing your homework

The twins understand this and happily celebrate, exchanging best friend bracelets! Rahul goes and wakes a napping Viola for some playtime.

Lavina: Rahul, she needs feeding

Rahul: We’re just playing right now because she’s bored

Lavina: Don’t let the poor thing starve. Feed her

Rahul sighs but scoops Viola off the playmat for a feeding anyway. It is a bit late for her dinner but she hasn’t seemed hungry.

Cassandra: Why are we awake? I think it’s past bedtime

Mercedes: MAMA!

Savannah: We missed you mama

Mercedes: We wanted to see you before bed

Cassandra: My work shift is a bit tricky isn’t it. Okay, come here. Big hugs then teeth and bed

Mercedes: Mama my tooth came out so-

Savannah: We’re going to see the tooth fairy tonight

Cassandra: Only if you actually go to sleep honeybee

Following hugs, kisses and I love you’s, the twins get to bed and tuck their teeth under their pillows.

Cassandra is woken early by two excited children jumping on the bed talking over each other about fairies and simoleons. Eventually she and Rahul manage to shepherd them towards breakfast.

Savannah: They’re quick, but I know I saw a sparkle as they flew

Cassandra: Fairies do sparkle

Mercedes: We need to think, next time we’ll have to see them

Savannah: Hmm. Maybe we-

Lavina: Girls! It’s an hour until school time, why haven’t you started breakfast? And Savannah you’re not even dressed!

Cassandra and Rahul get started on their chores for the day while Lavina watches over the girls who are far to interested in fairies to eat quickly.

Cassandra: *softly* Viola, green bean, time to wake up

Viola: *yawns*

Cassandra: It’s age up day. Mama will help you with your cake

Viola: pa uh Mama?

Cassandra: *gasps* Rahul! RAHUL! She said her first word

Rahul rushes in from lighting candles worrying he missed it. Cassandra scoops Viola out of the crib and turns her towards Rahul.

Cassandra: Can you say mama again for papa? Hmm? Mama for papa

Viola: Mama *yawns and stretches* lo papa

Rahul: Well done green bean! I knew you could do it *tickles tummy*

Cassandra: Please tell me you didn’t just leave fire unsupervised

Rahul blinks and runs back out of the room. Cassandra laughs as Viola nestles into her shoulder. Cassandra carries her to the kitchen and shows her the cake. Viola is very confused by it.

Cassandra: We blow the candles and the flames will go. Bye bye flames

Viola: Mama fla guu (mama flames go?)

Cassandra: Here we can do it together

Cassandra blows a few raspberries on Viola's tummy until the infant is copying the blowing action. Cassandra turns her towards the cake and spit bubbles go everywhere! But with her help the candles go out and Viola giggles in delight.

Viola is a toddler now, and a wild one! I can’t wait to find out her quirks.

Cassandra: Rahul I think we ought to see if she can potty before we head out

Rahul: Yes, that's sounds sensible

Cassandra: Would you help me with potty time

Rahul: Of course my darling. *switches to address Viola* Does someone need to go potty?

Viola: Ga ra papa (I don't know papa)

Cassandra: Sit down green bean

The couple try their best to explain things to Viola but the two and a half year old isn’t following and has an accident.

Rahul: Oh well, can’t be perfect on the first try. Do you want to go on a trip Viola? Hmm?

Cassandra: Let's go to the rec centre, just until the girls will be due home

Rahul: Sounds good. Okay green bean, time to go explore!

Previous ... Next

[virgoilluminati]

World Class

Chapter 7

Previous chapter | series | next part

A/N; hello guys, so yeah - i went M I A again. Managed to do a whole university semester and didn't really end up writing any more of this. I'm sorry. Again this had been in the Archive for a while so I want to post it. The series i think is coming to the end, one more to go after this!

y/nmorrison

liked by ellatoone, alessiarusso and 200,000 others.

y/nmorrison celebration practice for the final 💪

View all 50,000 comments

ellatoone the only moment where you weren't holding me up😂

alessiarusso something tells me these will not be our celebrations, my neck has hurt eversince 😅

judebellingham a celebration idea.. huh? this seems like a hard launch opportunity...

y/nmorrison @judebellingham i'm not sure you can hard launch once you've already made it official, my love ❣️

In the days leading up to the final, you couldn't help but feel yourself distancing further and further away from Leah. Despite the win against Australia, and spain around the corner, you found everytime you'd attempt to talk to Leah, either she''d be pulled back by Sarina, or you'd be on the phone to Jude or playing third wheel with Keira and Lucy.

At the dinner before the match, the tension between both of you was at an evident all time high. You could see a spare seat next to Leah, as she placed herself next to Rachel and Milly. As soon as you grabbed your dinner from the buffet, you made your way over to them, however before you could put your dinner down, Leah placed a water bottle over the seat, suggesting one of the coaches was sat there.

You felt suddenly uncomfortable, and also violated - as if you were in high school all over again being picked on by a bully. What made it worse was the fact that Leah was your best friend, and you knew deep down that it was your fault.

In all honesty, since the match against Australia and the massive news that Lucy had told Leah, you hadn't been in the mindset to truly think about the future of your career, whether that be at Arsenal or FC Barcelona or even just Real Madrid. Your heart strings were being pulled apart by the three things which you cared the most about; your boyfriend, your best friend and your career. It also became apparent that no matter what you decided to do someone was going to get hurt. Instead your mind had been focused entirely on this last match, much like everyone else. The training session had intensified to levels that none of you had expected, hours long past normal sociable times and into the night. Winning this final was everything to you all, and you knew deep down, that whilst your career remained a mystery, this was the one thing you could do that would make it up to Leah.

Instead of sitting down next to Leah, you made your way over to Alessia and Ella, both talking about celebrations they wanted to try if they scored the winning goal. As they see you walk over, alessia greets you with a massive smile, before asking you about what you celebration would be.

"I suppose i should do Judes one-" you smile when you mention his name. Both of them laugh and make fun of you for blushing.

"It would probably make sense- tho, you wanna have your signature one y/n." Alessia responds. She then goes on to make fun of Ella's stating that she didn't have one but rather just went through about every single emotion whenever she scored goal.

"There must be a Morrison special-" Ella asks, unsure if she was touching a nerve.

It was true, Noah had his own little celebration. It was something you remembered him doing as early as 5 years old. He'd take a bow, and then clap to all three stages of the auidience, before kissing his little wristband, which their mum had sewn on. That little gesture, always reminded you of how much of a home body your brother remained. Regardless of the fame and the talent he had, that little kiss on the wristband - which had his named engraved on the inside next to a old brighton and hove football badge - would remain a signature of his home.

"Yeah there is." You smile. As you explained his little celebration, how he had taught you from a young age to always thank the audience around you - you felt your heart begin to melt for the first time talking about your brother didn't hurt. A couple of the other girls started getting involved and one by one the group began to bond once again, each taking it in turns to come up with any kind of signature celebration they could do.

As the conversations split once again in the room, leah looked over to you quickly, giving you a smile before starting a conversation with beth. It was a reassuring smile. It was the same smile that Leah used to do whenever you were both stressed about something, it was a way of saying - its not your fault, don't worry. Though you felt like this time, as much as she tried to smile and be the bigger person, her heart was hurting,

Later that night, your phone buzzed with an incoming call from Jude. Hoping for a distraction from the tension with Leah, you eagerly answered.

"Hey, Jude," you greeted, trying to sound cheerful.

"Hey, love. How's everything going?" Jude's voice was warm and caring, but you sensed he was oblivious to the underlying tension you were feeling.

"It's a bit tense here, but I'm managing," you replied, trying to keep the conversation light.

"That's tough. But listen, I've got something exciting to share," Jude said, his voice tinged with enthusiasm. "While I was out today, I saw these amazing dogs at a park here in Madrid. They were so cute, and it got me thinking..."

Your heart sank a little. You knew Jude had been hinting about getting a dog together as a way to bring you closer, possibly even to Madrid. The thought was sweet, but it also added to your stress.

"Uh, that sounds lovely, Jude," you said, trying to hide your agitation. "But hey, let's not talk about dogs right now. How was your day otherwise?"

"Oh, sure, sorry about that," Jude said, sensing your discomfort. "My day was good, but I mostly thought about how much better it would be if you were here with me. I can't wait to see you tomorrow at the final. I've missed you so much, love."

His words were sweet, filled with love and longing. Despite your mixed feelings about the dog situation, you couldn't help but feel touched by his affection.

"I've missed you too, Jude," you replied, your voice softening. "Tomorrow will be a special day, no matter what happens."

"Absolutely," Jude said, his voice growing more romantic. "Tomorrow, we'll be together, and nothing else will matter. I love you, Y/N, and I can't wait to see you and talk about our future—dogs included."

His words, though well-intentioned, added to your internal turmoil. Yet, his love and excitement for your reunion were undeniable, filling you with a mixture of comfort and uncertainty as you ended the call, looking forward to seeing him tomorrow at the final.

"Love you too, Jude," you managed, trying to mask your hesitation. "And I can't wait to see you either. Let's catch up properly tomorrow, okay?"

"Of course, love," Jude responded, picking up on your attempt to change the subject. "We'll have all the time in the world to talk. Just know that I'm here for you, no matter what you're going through."

"Thank you, Jude," you said, grateful for his understanding. "I really appreciate that."

"And hey," Jude added, his voice filled with warmth, "whatever happens tomorrow, whether we win or lose, remember that I'm proud of you and I love you more than anything."

Tears welled up in your eyes at his heartfelt words. "Thank you, Jude," you repeated, your voice trembling with emotion. "I love you too, and I can't wait to see you tomorrow."

"Sleep well, love," Jude said softly, sensing your emotional state. "Dream of happier times, and remember that tomorrow is a new day filled with possibilities."

With a final exchange of loving words, you ended the call, feeling a mix of emotions—love from Jude, tension with Leah, and uncertainty about your future. Yet, despite it all, you felt a glimmer of hope that tomorrow would bring clarity and a chance for healing in all areas of your life.

As the night wore on, sleep eluded you. Tossing and turning in bed, your mind raced with thoughts about the upcoming final, the weight of Noah’s legacy, the tension with Leah, and Jude’s hint about moving to Spain. The pressure was suffocating, each thought adding to your anxiety.

Finally, unable to bear it any longer, you got out of bed and made your way to the bathroom, hoping a splash of cold water on your face might help. But as you looked at your reflection in the mirror, the floodgates opened. Tears streamed down your face as the weight of everything came crashing down on you.

Sinking to the floor, you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to find some semblance of calm amid the storm of emotions. Each sob felt like a release, yet the overwhelming sense of fear and uncertainty lingered.

“Why is this so hard?” you whispered to yourself, the question echoing in the silent bathroom.

Minutes or maybe hours passed as you sat there, lost in your thoughts and fears. Finally, with a deep, shaky breath, you decided to face the day ahead, no matter how daunting it seemed.

You splashed some water on your face, took a few more deep breaths, and steadied yourself. As you looked at your reflection again, you made a silent promise to give your all in the final, to honor Noah’s legacy, and to find a way to navigate the complexities of your personal life.

As you tried to compose yourself, the door creaked open, revealing Leah, who had stepped out of her room. Seeing you in such a vulnerable state, she immediately dropped her guard.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Leah’s voice was filled with genuine concern as she hurried over to you.

Before you could respond, Leah wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into a comforting hug. Despite the tension between you two, her embrace felt reassuring, a rare moment of solace amid the chaos.

“Come on,” Leah whispered, leading you gently into her room. “Let’s talk.”

Inside her room, Leah closed the door behind you, creating a private space where walls could come down and truths could be shared.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Leah began, her eyes filled with regret. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away. We’ve been best friends for too long to let this come between us.”

Tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time, they were different—tinged with relief and gratitude. Leah’s willingness to mend the rift between you was a balm to your wounded soul.

“I’m sorry too, Leah,” you replied, your voice trembling. “I’ve been so caught up in everything—Noah’s legacy, the final, Jude, the idea of moving to Spain—.”

Leah took a deep breath, her gaze unwavering. “Y/N, I can’t lose you. If that means you moving to Spain with Jude, then… then so be it.”

Your heart ached at her words, torn between the love you felt for Leah and the future you had envisioned with Jude. “Leah, I just don’t know,” you admitted, shaking your head.

“You don’t know?” Leah’s voice cracked, disbelief evident in her tone. “I thought you were set on moving.”

“No, Leah,” you replied, your voice trembling. “Jude mentioned getting a dog, moving to Madrid, but I never said yes. I’m so confused.”

A heavy silence filled the room as Leah processed your words. Finally, she spoke, her voice softer, filled with understanding.

“Y/N, you should follow your heart,” Leah said gently, her eyes searching yours. “Whatever that may be, I want you to be happy.”

As Leah led you outside to the balcony, the cool night air enveloped you both, and the city lights twinkled below, casting a soft glow on the scene before you.

“Do you remember,” Leah began, her voice filled with warmth, “when we’d sneak out late at night to play soccer in the park? Just the two of us, chasing after our dreams.”

A smile spread across your face as the memory flooded back. “Oh, how could I forget? We’d stay out until the stars began to fade, pretending we were on the biggest stage, scoring the winning goal.”

Leah chuckled, her eyes shining with mischief. “Yes, and remember how we’d argue over who got to be the striker? We’d each take turns, practicing our victory dances for when we scored.”

You laughed, the vivid memory making your heart swell with nostalgia. “Yes, and you always had that signature celebration, the one where you’d slide on your knees and point to the sky.”

Leah’s eyes sparkled at the mention of it. “And you, Y/N, with your infectious laughter, you’d spin around, arms wide open, soaking in the imaginary applause from the crowd.”

The two of you shared a moment, lost in the memory of simpler times, when dreams were big, and the world seemed full of endless possibilities.

Leah turned to you, her eyes filled with determination and hope. “I see it, Y/N. I see us holding up that trophy tomorrow—just like in our childhood memories. But this time, it’s not made of tin; it’s real.”

Her words resonated with you, reigniting the fire within. The dream you both had as kids was now within reach, a tangible goal that could become reality.

As you were about to head back inside, Leah turned to you once more, her gaze sincere. “He’d be proud, you know.”

A soft smile graced your lips as you replied, “I know.”

“But don’t do it for him,” Leah added gently, “do it for you.”

Her words lingered in the air, a poignant reminder that while honoring Noah’s legacy was important, your journey was ultimately about finding your own path, fueled by your own dreams and aspirations.

"It was always my brother's dream to be at a World Cup final," you began, your voice trembling slightly with emotion. "But more importantly, it was my dream too—one that could become a reality tomorrow."

[ashesandhackles]

HP Reread - Order of Phoenix (Part 2)

Chapter 13,14

"Ron was now so low in his seat that his nose was on his knees". when Hermione confronts Fred and George about them testing sweets on first years. Also, living with Weasleys made Hermione realise what is a below the belt threat for Fred and George: write to Molly. XD (also the reason Ron is reluctant to go against Fred and George, something he was willing to do last year in GOF with the whole blackmail scheme, is due to reminders of Percy as Ron now holds the Prefect badge.)

love that both Hermione and Ron had opportunities to not read the room XD Ron getting on Cho's case about being a Tornadoes supporter when its clear she wanted to talk to Harry, and Hermione with Luna after she expresses her support to Harry. And Hermione being like "No REGRATS" after Harry is all, "Do you mind not offending the only people who believe me?" XD

"And it looks like it's going to rain" "what's that got to do with homework?" "Nothing" Ron is training for Quidditch secretly <3 I like that his arc is trying to define himself on his own terms (esp after the falling out with Harry in GOF which was because he felt overshadowed) - and the fact he takes initiative to practise for Quidditch, to be on team, is a step in that direction.

Harry enters Umbridge's office, and immediately takes the scene as a battle of wills. An adult being horrendous/violent is not a surprise to him, so what counts as "winning" for him in this situation is to not show he is in pain, or to check the time for when he would be allowed to go, or ask or to even complain to Ron and Hermione about it. There is also a lot of shame surrounding abuse, and ideas of weakness in admitting something like that happened to you.

Ron and Harry having a moment - where Ron reveals he wants to try for Keeper, and Harry tells him about Umbridge. It is incredible that Ron, a peer, got Harry to open up about something that has shame surrounding it. Speaks to how safe Ron makes Harry feel.

Both Hermione and Ron egging him to go to Dumbledore at different time: it's clear these two co-parents have discussed him. Also Harry discussing Umbridge with Hermione is operating under the assumption that Ron told her - and he would be right. Trio dynamics <3

Harry refuses to "trouble" Dumbledore because he feels abandoned by him, so he thinks he would write to Sirius instead: his safe space. <3

Hermione inviting him to knit hats with her. She is so happy that she can make all sorts of patterns now.

"She's nearly as nice as your mum": the way Harry understands this about Sirius, and the way Sirius also immediately understands what Harry is saying about Umbridge enough to come to the fire later. <3 also "Please write back quickly":(

I really, really love how Harry and Cho is written right down to the time we get to scenes with second hand embarrassment. Harry's crush on her is so endearing, and I like that he is comforted that Cho did not hate him for being alive when Cedric is dead (it's a casual throwaway line to Harry's own survivor's guilt)

"he got off on a mere technicality""many people I have spoken to remained convinced of his guilt" - the way Percy needs to double down and convince himself that he is on the right track.

"Nearly everyone in the wizarding world thought Sirius a dangerous murderer and a great Voldemort supporter, and he had to live with that knowledge for 14 years" the way this book emphasises how much Harry deeply understands Sirius. And also, now Sirius isnt cleared before his death hits hard.

Sirius' association of Hermione's worry for him as her sounding like Molly shows that he understands that Molly comes from a place of concern too. Also best evidence of their dynamic is not as prickly as it is made out to be.

Love the implication that Remus is just cussing Umbridge out in presence of Sirius. The comfort Remus feels speaks volumes.

"the world isnt split into good people and Death Eaters": an important quote, and given where Sirius comes from, a good insight into how he thinks.

Hermione looked upset when Sirius makes a joke about Kreacher, and this is because Sirius was the only adult to truly back her about Winky. Sirius knows she is right, just like he knows Dumbledore is right, Hermione invoking Dumbledore's name (like Molly did in the beginning) to get him to listen - he interrupts and changes the subject, because of how bitter he feels with regard to Dumbledore (just like Harry) + how isolated he is in a childhood home.

Sirius has personal bitter feelings about Dumbledore, but his eyes are clear with regard to the Order and what Dumbledore wants there: he warns the trio to not draw attention to the fact that Hagrid isnt there.

@artemisiablack masculinity meta covered 'less like your dad' moment in depth. My addition is - I am interested in Harry's complete understanding of this - not once does he become mad at this. Since he spends the entire book lashing out, isolated, disbelieved, he has a unique understanding of Sirius' position and is unusually forgiving of him. Remus tries the "what your father would have done/ wanted" route in DH, and Harry has far less understanding of it there because he is projecting himself onto Teddy's position.

Chapter 15, 16

I love the newspaper article about Hogwarts High Inquisitor. It is quite clearly a govt puff piece with support of a quote of a corrupt parent, Lucius Malfoy. The only dissent in the article comes at the end by Griselda Marchbanks and Tiberius Odgen, and Marchbank's quote of critique is something the prophet tries to diminish by having an article on her links with "subversive goblin groups" on page 17.

Lmao at Hermione looking sideways to see Harry's grade on his moonstone essay and when she gets neither Harry nor Ron's essay grades, she tries to engage them in a conversation about OWL grades. Until finally, Ron cracks and says, "If you want to know what grades we got, ask" and she is all,"I dont- I didnt mean - Well if you want to tell me". Such a poor liar LOL.

Ok I adore this detail of Fred and George naming the grades for them, and Ron raises his hand in mock celebration when they say "P is for poor" XD such a teenage boy thing.

Hermione retreated last time and came back with a new strategy. She came back to Umbridge's class reading the whole book. XD Umbridge tries to whisper to her, but Hermione speaks in clear, carrying voice so the rest of the class can overhear. Hermione rattles her enough that Umbridge forgets to whisper and then docks off points when she realises that Hermione outmaneuvered her. And then, Harry gets involved, to Hermione's distress.

"Yeah, Quirrel was a great teacher. There was a minor drawback of Lord Voldemort sticking out the back of his head" LOL

"Dean Thomas, if you do that to the mouse again, I shall put you in detention": Dean whatttt

Harry loses his temper with Umbridge in Care of magical Creatures again, and both Ron and Hermione groan. Poor kids. This is a hard year for them.

Harry comes back with a very severe bleeding hand and he is relieved that Hermione is being sympathetic instead of critical (like she was at breakfast when McGonagall took points off).

"Harry saw with an ominous feeling that her face was alight with fervour SPEW usually inspired in her" this is so endearing.

I love the tiny shade of coolness in Hermione when she mentions that Harry beat her in DADA when they had a competent teacher. It bothers her gifted child-ness a bit, but she is okay because it was done in a fair setting.

How much do you want to bet Ron and Hermione discussed the idea of Harry being a teacher and kind of laid a conversation trap.

also, Harry having his survivor guilt induced rant about how much it could have just been him who died instead of Cedric: it reminds me of the conversation in Deathly Hallows where Harry tells Ron: "Stuff like that always sounds cooler than it really was. I've been trying to tell you that for years."

Hermione says Voldemort for the first time, and that calms Harry down. It tells him that she is taking what he said seriously.

love that Hermione waited two whole weeks to broach the topic with Harry again. And also introduced the idea of this being an idea for a larger group of people. She believes there is a larger group of people who would be interested in what Harry has to say and that it isn't fair to deprive of them of a chance to learn - and it feels like either she has been in conversation with these people and has been gauging the mood.

and she names Ron as part of her initial idea, and Ron looks at her all alarmed . here is the confirmation that the conversation they had was rehearsed. Ron joins the conversation and backs Hermione once he is sure Harry is receptive to the idea.

the barman looked "tall and thin" and "vaguely familiar" to Harry. Aberforth :D

the man in dirty grey bandages is the one who informs Umbridge about the meeting: he is referenced earlier in the book as the dude who blows up toilets XD

"A couple of people?" but this is a good demonstration of scale of Hermione's ideas and also her awareness that this would be something Umbridge would disprove of.

first meeting of Fred and Aberforth. Later in DH, he will talk of him with familiarity: "Aberforth is getting ratty.."

love that Hermione's initial go to was to use Harry's reputation to give her idea credibility and Harry disproves that line of speech with a ":sharp look" but her voice grows bolder and has more conviction when she talks about what Umbridge teaches them is rubbish. It's a nice moment of Hermione taking on a leadership role.

Zacharias Smith's interruption rattles the trio, and both Ron and Hermione try to redirect the conversation away from Harry. But Harry intervenes in this case.

While Hermione gets nervous again, Susan Bones interrupts and bolsters the conversation in Harry's favour. ("is it true you can produce a Patronus?") also, love the detail that Molly asked Ron not to spread it around XD

also twins leap to Harry's defense when Zacharias is rude again. XD i really love that the twins are so protective about him.

Ginny intervening in Hermione and Luna's spat with a "hem hem". Love that Weasley family has a set of people who can imitate people very well. Ron does it in DH too - he imitates Pettigrew XD

the cute detail of Cho fastening her catch in hopes of staying back, but Marietta was being too impatient, so she had to leave. Such a teenage move.

ok, I know OOTP is a bit of transient phase for Romione: but I love the body language detail of Hermione turning around and trodding on Ron's feet in a shop. It speaks to how close they are standing - and it feels like a test of boundaries (we see this later with Ron gifting Hermione perfume).

OOTP - Chapter 17, 18

the beech tree the trio sits near the lake is a regular, they sit here again post-Grawp chapters (and it is the same tree Marauders are sitting under in SWM chapter).

love that Ron thinks Hermione projects her virtues onto everyone else (which she does in some ways!), but Hermione clarifies that no one can tell Umbridge because she jinxed the parchment. Ruthless lol.

Harry is so worried about Hedwig that he nearly forgets that she had a letter for him:( also the tenderness in the Harry-Hedwig here: and how annoyed she is with him for letting Grubby-Plank take her, and how that makes Harry feel.

Snape's reaction to Umbridge when she mentions DADA post, obviously sore subject for him, because he believes Dumbledore would not hand him that position out of lack of trust. In HBP, he mentions that he believes Dumbledore believes it will cause a relapse in his old ways - but in HBP, the year Dumbledore gives Snape the task to kill him, he is effectively also handing over his complete trust by giving him that post. (ofc, the job is jinxed, so there are reasons why Dumbledore didnt do it before- but I am looking at this in terms of an emotional dynamic between the two. It also adds an interesting layer to Dumbledore, someone who would refuse all sorts of temptation due to his own youth and how he projects those fears onto Snape)

Crookshanks coming close to the fire to put his face close to Sirius <3 Hermione has to pull him back to stop him from singeing his whiskers.

Hermione takes Sirius' advice about Three Broomsticks being a place that would be harder to overhear- her meeting with Rita and Luna later in the story takes place in Three broomsticks. Despite her reservations about Sirius' judgement at this point in the story, it's an interesting look into how her mind works.

What is the Mundungus-Aberforth backstory? He was apparently banned from Hog's Head 20 years ago. Is it the same tight spot Dumbledore bailed him out of?

Molly's perceptiveness about Harry's relationship with Sirius comes into play in her message that she asks Sirius to pass on. In the beginning of the book, she challenges Sirius' guardianship ("who else has he got?"), and here she has retreated to "though she accepts she has no authority over either of them and begs them..".

Love that Sirius tells Ron to tell Molly that he has passed it all on, "because I don't think she trusts me to." Sirius wants her approval.

Ofc Hermione suspecting this to be the case is one more reason the book is Hermione vs Umbridge. I also think, and this chapter demonstrates, with Hermione being the one with DA plan, creating failsafes, asking to think up a name, she functions as the leader-behind-the scenes.

Also Hedwig sitting on Dobby's topmost bobble is the cutest image.

Hermione bringing up the fact that Dobby's plans aren't always safe - with regard to room of requirement. I wonder if she was doubling back on the DA after the initial Sirius enthusiasm, and the enormity of what they are doing scared her for a moment. Or it was a need to double check.

ooh, Ginny had come in with Dean and other Gryffindors. Given that Ginny dates Dean in the next book, it is a significant point to her social circle.

"That's a majority - motion passed": Hermione XD

Harry being so cute that he decides not to point out that Neville's first attempt at Disarming when Harry is facing away from him does not actually count XD

Lmao @ twins going after Zacharias Smith. They are clearly very annoyed at him making jibes at Harry (as they displayed last time at Hog's Head).

Ok, Dean's enthusiasm is really <3 I forget that Dean's respect for Harry is what drives Dean's moment in DH, where he puts weight behind Harry being the Chosen one in the conversation. This, combined with how excited Neville was about disarming Harry, shows how the Gryffindor boys view him.

Chapter 19, 20

Queen Parvati has produced such a good reductor curse that she reduces an entire table full of sneakscopes to dust.

Hermione "trying to look modest" when Terry Boot is all admiration that she can do a NEWT level charm. LOL.

Loved the conversation between Harry and Hermione: he tells her it reminds him of the Dark mark, and she admits that is where she got the idea from. It is something she got out of Harry's retelling of the most traumatic night of his life, and I like that she stores details like this and treats information as information.

"Hey Potty I hear Warrington's sworn to knock you off your broom on Saturday" "Warrington's aim is so pathetic I'd be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me": XD

Hermione kisses Ron on the cheek when he looks lost and miserable, and it is like the kiss brings him back to himself <3 he touches the spot slightly. (also she has to stand on tiptoe to do it. Ron is tall)

Angelina does not wince when Montague tries to crush her fingers. Go Angelina!

Lee trying to drown out the words of the terrible "Weasley is our King" song by shouting his commentary. Lee Jordan is King!

Draco actually wrote the lyrics for Weasley is our king, and Pansy was conducting it from the stands lol. Says a lot about the character dynamics here.

Harry holding George back, while the combined efforts of Angelina, Katie and Alicia are needed to stop Fred leaping on Malfoy XD and then of course Harry releases George when Draco insults his mum.

Hogwarts really doesn't care about verbal bullying. An entire song to wind up the Gryffindor Keeper? Okay. Muggle duelling after extended provocation? Oh good lord not.

Hagrid is back and so begins hints of my least favourite plotline: Grawp.

Chapter 20, 21, 22

Hermione wearing her own knobbly elf hats. So cute. I love how it is a little thing she takes pride in.

Ron being his caretaking self and really pressing about how Hagrid has been attacked. XD

Hagrid irritably calling them nosy and interfering and then his beard twitches and Harry grins. Harry bargains his Dementor story for Hagrid's tale.

Trolls on Polish border and a disagreement with vampire in Minsk? Gimme this bar tale!

love how much the everlasting fire imagery comes with Dumbledore: he offers the giants (via Hagrid) : everlasting fire. (there is Fawkes, and there is the inferno he uses against the Inferi)

Maxime being super impressive by both roughing it (Hagrid being all "she is such a well dressed woman but..") and also saving Hagrid from giants by being fast with her wand.

Okay, Hagrid going misty-eyed at memories of Maxime being fiery at the thought of attacking Death Eaters, and Harry allowing him 30 secs of reminiscences before clearing his throat, lol.

Hermione asking about Hagrid's mother and being scared of broaching the topic, and Ron covering for her<3

Thestrals first make an appearance through gnarled yew trees - to emphasise their connection with death. Nott, Harry and Neville are the only ones who can see them.

Neville being upset that his answer might have made things worse for hagrid, but truthfully, this entire segment is an exercise of Umbridge enjoying wielding her power.

Ron being greatly amused by Hermione's skiing holiday, and Harry being envious that Ron would go to Burrow until Ron tells him he is invited. And Harry feels guilty at the thought of Sirius being alone at Grimmauld Place for Christmas, and considers persuading Mrs Weasley to invite him. :(

Angelina sending Harry burning reproachful looks cos she had to recreate the Gryffindor team. XD Also, Ginny is on team as Seeker!

The tension building between Harry and Cho: how he resists the urge to walk past her several time after she beams at him, and how he hangs back hoping to get a Merry Christmas from her.

Cho is dealing with so many confused feelings in this scene: the what if about Cedric, and seeing Harry react heavily to his mention, she feels upset that she burdened him with her feelings, she says, "I know it must be horrible for you… me mentioning Cedric, when you saw him die. I suppose you want to forget about it?" and when Harry doesnt answer, she expresses her admiration and attraction.

the other half of him wanted to take it to the grave, Imao, Harry so dramatic.

"oh, are you that bad at kissing?" "dunno. maybe I am." "of course you arent." "how do you know?" LOL. The trio in this scene.

"emotional range of a teaspoon" - its a funny line, but it also conveys Hermione's feelings for Ron and how much she wants to disavow them at the moment, because he is "the most insensitive wart she had the misfortune to meet". XD The scene is also set around Hermione writing an essay to Krum.

Harry agreeing mindlessly to Ron's "he's a grouchy git, isn't he?" "bit grouchy, yeah." Also LOL at role reversal. Hermione was the one who said that Krum looks grumpy, and Ron was like, "who cares what he looks like" lol.

Harry wishing Sirius's head appears in the fire so he can ask for advice on girls XD

Harry's ridiculous dream before the nightmare conveys feelings of competition that he feels with regard to Cho's feelings for Cedric , and there is also a sense that he wants to give back to Dobby because he came to the room to set up Christmas baubles with Dobby's head.

Mrs Norris spots them on the way to Dumbledore's office (McGonagall shoos her), but the cat informs Filch, Filch informs Umbridge.

I love the implication here that Dumbledore is conducting a meeting with portraits (many of whom are in important wizarding institutions in the country, which means he gets information from everywhere). The discussion falls silent and portraits pretend to sleep as soon as there is a knock on the door.

"but in essence divided?" + the imagery of two serpents coiling and undulating in air. This is a reference to Voldemort's torn soul in Harry, but also the twin imagery between Harry and Voldemort is strong here.

also the comical whimsy of the portraits is there throughout the scene - them pretending to sleep but raising their eyelids enough to watch Harry, them yelling at Phineas to wake up, and finally, the witch with a wand that looked like a birch rod XD

love that Harry as a protector is embedded in Ginny's mind. She asks him directly what is going on, instead of the adults in the room. Harry reinforces this association by stepping directly in front of her in the climax chapters when Bellatrix threatens her.

ah the implication of Sirius being in his day clothes, and the whiff of a stale drink about him :(

Ron gives Harry a fleeting look(but does not challenge it) when Harry changes the story to as if he is watching the vision from sidelines, later on in the same chapter, he admits to seeing it through snake's eyes for Sirius and also admits to wanting to attack Dumbledore. Sirius gets the detail that Harry wanted to attack Dumbledore first.

Oh Sirius. :( It's such struggle for him to remain calm in a scene when Fred, understandably upset, hits at something below the belt. Sirius, who is a man of action, who ties his worth to doing hates being in this position. But once they sit down, he tries hard to be a host - giving them Butterbeer, suggesting they go to bed…

Ginny being curled like a cat and her eyes reflecting the firelight is such a sensual image.

"Harry and Sirius looked at each other often, intruders upon family grief… waiting… waiting". Again, the emphasis on how Harry views Sirius.

Sirius cooking for the Weasleys, Sirius saying "the more the merrier" and Molly beaming at him, and them cooking together <3

"well, he doesn't tell me anything any more" - not only does Harry confess the details of the vision, he also allows himself to tack on this resentful sentence of Dumbledore keeping him in the dark.

This is a bit of a moment for Sirius where he wants to assure Harry things are alright before admitting that the vision is worrying him - its one of the few moments in the series that Sirius is not entirely honest with Harry. So he goes to Dumbledore about this next to figure out wtf is going on - which is what arranges the Occlumency lessons.

LOL, the entrance to St. Mungos is a bit creepy, with dummy beckoning you closer with its jointed finger for entering.

Dilys (the headmistress) counting the Weasleys as though to report to Dumbledore who is visiting.

An old man with a hearing trumpet is here to see Broderick Bode.

Mrs Weasley panicking there is a werewolf in public ward, and Mr. Weasley assuring the man that Remus finds his condition easy to manage. Remus really never lets it show, unless he is bitching about Umbridge to Sirius. XD

Poor harry spends the entire chapter thinking that Weasleys had something "accusatory" in how they looked at him (a reflection of his own feelings of guilt), and he keeps being proven wrong: Molly hugs him and thanks him for saving Arthur's life, and Fred and George offer him extendable ears saying Harry has the right to listen in on their father. It makes the end of the chapter, where they are most likely worried about him and scared for him, all the more sad because Harry is going to think they are afraid of him

Chapter 23, 24

Harry's paranoia driving him to a point where he thinks he needs to go to privet Drive to keep other people safe.

Like Sirius, as angry as Harry gets at Dumbledore, he instantly obeys his instruction. And again like Sirius in his depressive episode, Harry also retreats to the room with Buckbeak, and refuses to eat.

hermione asking Harry not to tell Ron that skiing is not really her thing cos he kept laughing too much XD

Hermione and Ginny tag-teaming Harry out of his mood, leading to the "I forgot" "Lucky you" moment. And Ginny gives Harry the knowledge that gives him immediate comfort. Ron joins at the tail end of the conversation, where he senses Harry has started calming down. (He had previously looked down in response to Harry's angry glare)

Sirius singing "God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs" and his delight at having the house full, "especially at having Harry back":(

Sirius and Remus sending presents that shows both of their tacitly approving DA. Lovely shade to Remus' characterisation. Also how sweet of Tonks to send in a small model of the Firebolt.

Remus comforting Molly about Percy and the implication later that Sirius and Molly are cooking together again - Molly "sounding like she had a bad head cold" and Sirius bringing in turkey.

"The perfume is really unusual Ron" - Ron spotting that Hermione is indeed, a girl. What an awkwardly cute romantic-but-is-it gesture.

Kreacher's den - that is the boiler room where he sleeps - really makes me side-eye the stupid house elf plot that says Walburga and Regulus were "kind" to Kreacher. Sure Jan.

Christmas is the time where there is an uptick of patients who have come in cos of a family argument XD

Remus going to the forlon werewolf in the ward. :(

the Healer who ran after Ron through six portraits to offer remedy for spattergroit XD this will come in handy in Deathly Hallows.

Hermione sounding "slightly breathless" at the sight of Lockhart. Her crush remains XD

Neville saving the wrapper he got from his mum.

Harry being suspicious of Kreacher's behavior is why he is the lead detective of a mystery novel character. XD

Sirius is that character whose presence is just so powerful that his mood infects everyone: whether he is cheerful during the beginning of the holiday, or when he is depressed near the end of the holiday ("oozing under doorways like noxious gas"). Intense boy.

Harry egging on his castle which was tussling with Ron's pawn, lmaoo. "Squash him, squash him, he is only a pawn you idiot." I will say that the "Lucky you" scene and further on put Ginny among the trio. She is sitting with Hermione and Crookshanks, watching Harry and Ron play chess.

Snape and Sirius scene: this is an incredibly fun scene with two characters who are quite a match for each other's verbal sparring, and it also lays out their priorities. Sirius' priority is Harry, and he undercuts the power Snape is trying to establish in the scene by claiming ownership of both the house ("it's my house, you see") and Harry (I'm his godfather"). Snape's priority is Dumbledore's orders + the Order (and he rubs the fact that he is doing an important role to hit undercut Sirius' power in return).

The history between these two also muddies the scene with other complicated things. The moment Sirius stands up to emphasise that Harry shouldnt be bullied, Snape's, ever the hypervigilant against his former bullies, goes to his wand in his pocket. (we see a version of this in SWM, where James calls to him, and "Snape reacted as though he was expecting an attack").

They both throw emasculating insults at each other: Snape goads him about hiding in his mother's house, while Sirius calls him Lucius' lapdog. So essentially, what these two men are saying in the scene is - Sirius: "Stop tormenting Harry" and Snape is saying (especially with the jab about how Lucius knew it was Sirius): "You are putting the Order at risk". Poor Harry stuck at forcing these two grown men apart, standing immobile between them, hand outstretched. XD

Sirius forcing himself to be cheerful around people, and Harry noticing his face fell back into a brooding expression when the focus isnt on him:(

Ugh, Harry just not wanting to leave Sirius behind and the way his chest is constricting at thought of parting. And Sirius giving him a way to contact him, and then giving him a one armed hug. These two loved each other so much:(

The adults fell silent when Harry came in for breakfast, and Tonks was nervous about staying too long in the square (she even threatens Stan for simply saying Harry's name loudly). I wonder what is happening here? Are they being watched/followed? I would have loved to know more behind the scenes Order stuff. Interesting how Tonks takes the lead in this two man job, and how she splits them up, tips Stan to move them along etc etc. More glimpses of her Auror! self.

Harry saying Voldemort's name unnerves Snape, and he almost rubs the arm where his mark is. It shows that Snape is indeed, scared of Voldemort. (also Harry asking the right questions - "why can I see from snake's mind if its Voldemort's thought I am sharing?" smart cookie. It's because Nagini is a Horcrux.)

"well for the first attempt that was not as poor as it could have been" is Snape almost unwillingly complimenting Harry lol, and then he offers feedback in his typical bad teacher way: "remain focused, you wasted too much time and energy shouting. You are handing me memories you fear"

After Harry sees his mother and father in mirror, and Cedric's death once again: Snape looks "paler than usual, and angrier". I dont think he expected to encounter Lily again.

"fools who wear their heart proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked easily - weak people in other words - stand no chance against his powers". Snape is talking about himself, especially teenage Snape who joined the Death Eaters. We see a glimpse of teenage Snape later on, lying on grass and throwing swear words at James even without his wand, throwing a slur at his best friend because he is humiliated - "easily provoked, who cannot control his emotions". This is such an interesting chapter because Snape is talking about himself and there is recognition of who Harry is, away from his projection of "James' son". Snape's lip curl when asking about Ripper the dog, and Harry thinks Snape is mocking him (but interestingly, he never uses it to mock Harry - now or in the future, because it disturbs his James projection on him), but these words show that Snape is recognising himself in him. He hates it and will disassociate from the realisation until near the end of the series. Which gives weight to the "look at me" moment. He is asking Harry to really see him, and asking to be seen in return ("look at me")

Harry asking whats in the department of mysteries, unnerving Snape. Because it holds the prophecy Snape had overheard, but it also tells Snape that this is something that is haunting Harry for months (as he will later tell Dumbledore). Harry and Snape stepping on emotional landmines around each other - it makes for very interesting scenes, but good god, this is such a bad idea.

Hermione looking at Fred and george's Invisibility Hats and puzzling out how they work, and compliments how cleverly they used the charm.

Hermione asking Ron to check up on Harry since he looked ill all evening. <3 these two co-parents.

[calamitys-child]

Sometimes being visible in public is so worth it. Today a mum and her 13yo came in and my till was acting up so we made small talk while it loaded and the kid said they were going to see a show about trans rights, and the mum looked nervous. I just went "hell yea trans rights, here I have a spare trans rights sticker sheet in the cupboard left from pride, would you like a sticker for being chill while we wait til my computer cooperates" and I saw the mum look at me, look at my pronoun pin and trans rights badge and scruffy lil beard and long hair, and the kid grinned, and she immediately switched the pronouns for her kid and started chatting away again. And sometimes that's all it takes! For trans kids especially, I want them to see they have a future left in them yet, but also I remember the worry and the learning process that my mum went through with me and I also want all frightened parents of trans kids to know; hey, we turn out just fine. Just let us grow and do your best to love us. We'll get there alright. I hope you enjoyed that play 💖