#Bernardes Tattoo

[introspectivememories]

im sorry but i choose to believe that tim drake is the most insufferable "my man, my man, my man" girl about bear. he does not shut up about him. steph is cooking smth in the kitchen? oh my man can do that. bear cooks really well. dick triaging some poor victim on an emergency site? oh my man is really good at that. mhmm, bear is on his way to becoming a paramedic. damian building something? oh my man is really good with power tools. have you ever seen him build ikea? it takes him less than an hour. for our anniversary, he built me a coffee table. mhmm isn't he amazing? yeah my man did that. yeah my man, mhmm that's my ma-

[adoreechxmpion]

He is me and I am him (I have like 5 tattoos)😞

[sketchingtons]

It’s been 1294739 years since my last Timber doodle, but I knew I had to do a little something for Valentine’s Day!💕

The bois got a slice of strawberry cake to share and someone (they’ll blame it completely on the other when asked later) shoved a spoonful of it onto the others face and, well, it just turned into a food fight from there lol

They both staunchly defend their own innocence when asked, but who do you think started the “Valentines Cake War “ (as it comes to be known as later) between them? 🤔

[anavilante]

[Modern AU]

Gale *sighs*: Love is a weakness and an evolutionary mistake… Benny: You are literally making a Valentine's card for Bucky. Gale, pointing his hot glue gun towards Benny: You're on thin fucking ice, DeMarco!

[oldmannapping]

Fic: Olive Branches (2/?)

Standalone chapter. Nothing but banter, no plot. Roy, Jason, and Bernard hanging out.

Roy tries to convince Bernard to give him a tattoo.

Jason tries to find a clean shirt.

Excerpt:

“Why can’t you just go to an actual professional and pay them to give you hepatitis like a normal person?” asked Jason through a mouthful of food.

Roy waved a hand dismissively. “Those are so overpriced. Anyone can do this. I’ve done a bunch of my tatts myself, it’s not that hard.”

Jason lowered his gaze pointedly to Roy’s arms, which were covered in tattoos of varying skill. “I wouldn’t brag about that,” he said. “You look like Post Malone.”

Bernard raised an eyebrow. “I’m surprised you know who Post Malone is, honestly.”

Jason scoffed but made no rebuttal. He’d never reveal that he only knew who Post Malone was because he was featured on Taylor Swift’s latest album.

Roy said, “He only knows him because of Taylor Swift.”

“Fuck off, Roy.”

“Tell me I’m lying, Mr Tortured Poet.”

Jason threw his fork at him. Roy caught it and shoved it in between the couch cushions. “That’s what you get for reacting impulsively,” he told Jason. “Now you can’t eat your dinner. What did we learn?”

Bernard was watching the whole thing with his hands covering his mouth. “It’s so criminal that I can’t start a TikTok channel with you guys,” he bemoaned. “You’re all children and no one would ever believe me.”

[sarcopod]

love this collection

[doctordiscord123]

Dude!!!!!! That tattoo is totally wicked!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you!!! I am delighted by it <3

[evilhorse]

So…you won the bet, you tub of lard.

(Archer and Armstrong #9)

[vcasih]

bernard schultze’s illustration of franz kafka’s ‘crossbreed’ might be my next tattoo

[introspectivememories]

tim and bear getting couple tattoos.... tim gets a bear on his hip and bear gets a grasshopper over his heart

[gothamite-rambler]

Duke knows that he knows

Duke Thomas and Tim Drake headed down the road in Duke's car as under the guise they were getting lunch together.

Duke: Tim, confession, I wasn't inviting you out of the house just for lunch.

Tim: We haven't gotten any food yet, so I figured. What do you need to tell me?

Duke: I won't be mad, you're my brother Tim, but when are you going to tell the fam that Bernard knows you're Robin?

Tim's eyes widened in shock, he averted eye contact with Duke. There's no way he knew, this had to be a guess to mess with him.

Tim (stammering): Th- That is a preposterous allegation! Bernard is- is in the dark about me being Robin.

Duke: Boy I am not dumb. You've had him pop up unexpectedly when we were on missions and you two were making those same 'do me' eyes when you're in your suit. Don't act like I don't notice. The others haven't, but I have. What do you have to say for yourself?

Tim (lying): He's a fan of Red Robin.

Duke: Tim, I saw you guys kissing goodbye after he happened to show up and help us take down that crook with the flamethrower. I like Bernie too so if either of you are worried I'll run and tell Batman, I won't you. You can trust me dude.

Tim groaned then bonked his head on the dashboard of Duke's car.

Duke: I'm not mad or anything. The secret is in my vault, but damn man you seriously told him?

Tim: He found me out.

Duke paused the music playing on the radio and took a breath.

Duke (loud): He what?

Tim: He said he figured it out years ago and was waiting for me to tell him. Then one night I went through my window assuming he left for the night. There he was and-

Tim groaned covering his eyes.

Tim: He was so cute with all the evidence he had, then he kissed me and I felt the piercing on his tongue-

Duke: Say no more, he got you with a truth kiss. Hm... ah well, I promised I won't tell the others and I'm sticking to that, but you understand you're going to have to tell them eventually.

Tim: Dick already connected the dots.

Duke (chuckled): And much like I imagine with him, I'm not letting you live that down.

Tim: Yep... I wasn't even mad when he told me he knew. I just felt relieved after he talked to me the next morning. I never thought he'd love me that much... and I should not have gotten that tattoo on such an obvious spot.

Duke nodded, starting the music back up.

Duke: You should tighten the sleeves on your suit, that way it will cover the tattoo better. That's for later, I can see you're embarrassed, to make you feel better want to get pizza? My treat.

Tim: Greasy food is what I need after that.

Duke (smiling): That's what brothers are for. And I'm happy you found someone who can keep your secret and love you like that.

Tim smiled.

Tim: Thanks.

[qcomicsy]

a list of funniest things jason todd could do:

slowly steal the parts of the batmobile and reassemble it elsewhere, then pull up next to bruce in his own second secret batmobile

become a lawyer and get joker setenced to the death penalty - bonus is that he completes college and gets a degree which bruce never did and alfred is proud beyond the gravethat one of his grandkids actually completed college

change bruces name to "free trires" in his phone contacts

call time the wrong name everyday, but it starts of sounding like a genuine mistake (tom, jim ect) and slowly gets further and further away from the original (jimothy, jeremy, dave, the dogs name)

dye his hair red, claim he was an original red head and then gaslight the family into believing bruce made him dye his hair black to look more like dick and be a replacement

come out as gay and claim to be the only gay member of the batfamily and when tim tries to say something to dispute it he just hits him with "who are you again? the computer guy or smthing?"

could also come out as poly and roll up to family dinners with more than one partner and if someone says something about it, he just says "mad cuz i got TWO more partners than you huh. lonesome bitch."

feel free to add on

LMAAAAOO THIS IS GREAT

Let's go.

Made a carbon copy of Batman and spread in strategic places on the Batcave, Tim's boat, Clock Tower, Duke's nest and Dick's house. (He almost killed them)

(One of Dick's colleagues saw it and he had to lie he was this die hard Batfanboy, his ego never recovered until today.)

Stole Tim's mug and placed on Damian's room, stole Damian's mug and placed on Tim's boat then proceeded to visit the Manor until he hard the scream of the fight he planted between them;

When he saw Bernard for the first time he said "Whoa Timmy you move on fast, this one is Terry right?";

Did a Tramp Stamp tattoo;

Slut shames Dick every chance he gets (this one is actually cannon);

Shot Dick's phone;

Every Christmas shows up with a different Outlaws member and affirms that's his partner

Dated an arrow to piss of his dad, when Bruce got over it proceeded to date a lantern instead;

Never told no one other than Dick he's actually in a stable relationship with Artemis because he refuses to swap Bruce's horrified reaction to a normal one;

Gave Bernard the shovel talk;

When he bumped with Selina after the (failed) marriage and she teased him on how he didn't gave her shit for it he just answered "No, no I get it"

Purposely brings Harley to bat reunions under the bullshit "She's my therapist" when the bats bother him, knowing his therapy with Harley only count when they're at her office;

Told every one he's Harley's adopted kid (actually Harley was the one to say that once when she was drunk and he just went along with it);

Exchanged Bernard's number to Kon's in Tim's cell phone and vice-versa;

Left his Mustache grow and showed up as Matches Malone in one of Wayne's Gala;

Lied he was actually a Titan but they kicked him out because Dick's is an asshole;

Stoled Signal's Patrol Lunch;

Stole's Spoiler's lunch;

Brought alcohol to manage going through their family gathering when he was caught he blamed on Tim;

(He thought about blaming on Dick but he knew Dick would just go along with it)

Everytime Dick, Barbara and Bruce call him he answers with "He's dead";

Introduced Tim to the Outlaws with "That's Robin they found him on the thrash"

Showed up to Barbara's job dropped a "Hi mom" as a greeting then proceeded to laugh his ass off while Barbara tried o explain to her coworkers that that tank of a man wasn't her child;

Told Dick Talia adopted him;

Told Talia Dick adopted him;

Told Damian that if Batman dies he's going to adopt him out of spite;

[kaceythecrunch]

・┆Night. ☾ M.S┆ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFFFFFFFFFFFF

Summary : you and Matt doing your nightly routine!

W/C : 1.2k+

Y/N'S POV :

9:30 

Currently, spinning around on my boyfriend’s gaming chair. As I sit upon his chair, I'm scrolling through edits of Matt, per usual. Until I was interrupted by his faint breathing on my shoulder.

��AAH. WHAT THE FUCK.” I yell, frantically closing tiktok. He looks at me, then my phone, then back to me. I could tell he was slightly concerned. “You’re such a weirdo for watching edits of me. I mean the editors are pretty talented. They also help me, Nick and Chris–” 

I laugh as he continues on his yapping.  Usually, I don't interrupt him when he's yapping because I know he doesn’t get to run his mouth sometimes. “Alright Mr.Yapper, ya’ ready to go to bed??” he closed his eyes. I could tell he was tired.  

“Can you help me, I'm too tired.” he says in a sleepy voice. “You want me to do your skincare for you??” He usually doesn’t like when I do stuff for him because apparently, “I apply it wrong.” He nods. 

I get up from his chair, holding his hands as I drag him to our bathroom. I sit on the counter and start reaching for the skin care. “Wait. Before that. Can you shave my beard for me? I'm tired of beard-Matt right now.” I laugh at his statement. “No more big beard bernard.” I say, as I make fun of him. I glide my fingers on his tattoos as he looks at me unamused. 

I grab one of my headbands and put it around Matt. Of course, I picked the best one I have. The one with kitty cat ears. “What the fuck is this shit.” he looks in the mirror disgusted. “It's just a headband.” I say, looking at him. “It looks so distorted..Why not pick a normal one.” he asks. “You look cute in it, shut up.”

“OKAY. Now, lemme start.” I grab the shaving cream and squirt it all on my hands. I turn to Matt as he is leaning on the sink. Propping himself up with his hands. I bring the shaving cream to his cheeks and glide my fingers on his face. Making sure everything gets covered. I laugh at him as he is scrunching his face. 

I grab the razor and gently shave off his beard. His face scrunches even more. “Hey, stop moving Matt! I don’t wanna cut you!” He opens his eyes slightly, not wanting to move his mouth. Even if he was only opening his eyes, I could easily tell what he was trying to say. 

10:23

It took almost 20 minutes, but voila. Matt makes a frowny face. “HEY! I did the job, right? Plus,  your beard is fully shaved off like you asked. Don’t make that face at me!! I literally did you a favor.” I say, as I pinch his cheek softly. “I know, I know, I'm just messing with you.” he says, smiling. “Tonight, just moisturizer and cleanser. If you want, we could do a face mask too.”

I look at him smiling. “It makes me so happy that you know what skincare is and how to do it. You know, I think we should try the charcoal mask since you just shaved.” He looks at me concerned. “Yeah, no way. I'm not gonna fucking do that shit.” I plead, “But like, there's so many benefits!” I tell him, as I rub the moisturizer on his face. “Like what. Bringing me excruciating pain? Yeah, I’ll pass.” 

10:45

I wash both of our faces and start to apply cleaner on the both of us. “Okay, I’ll give you a nickel if you do the mask.” I try to bargain. “Dude, what the fuck am I gonna do with a nickel? Play heads or tails?” He says unamused. “Okay calm down lover-boy. Chill with the mattitude.” I say, laughing at him. “Bro….” I jokingly mock him. “Bro…” I start to rub the moisturizer on his face. “Okay,” he says, I smile knowing he finally gave in. “I’ll try the mask. Under one condition though.” I slightly frowned as I stopped rubbing in the cleanser.

“You’re such a kid for that. Why is there a condition?” I roll my eyes at him. “YOU WANT ME TO BE IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN. IT'S ONLY FAIR.” I frown. “Fineeee what's my punishment..” “Can you please do the chores that Chris is supposed to do, that I DO.” I look at him, slightly annoyed. But, I agree.

11:17

I rub the cleanser off of mine, and his face. I then reach for the cup and the spatula. “Okay Matt, are you ready?” He shakes his head no. “Well you did agree to this.” I open the container and glide the spread on his face with the spatula. “I think it's stupid how we’re using a spatula. This isn’t spongebob.” I laugh, “who is your favorite spongebob character?” I think for a moment, still making sure the charcoal evens out on his face. “Low-key, I fuck with sandy. She’s a bad bitch.” He laughs, “For me, I think I like spongebob. I heavily fuck with the popsicle.” 

11:30

We finish applying the charcoal mask on both of our faces. “Is it done?” He looks slightly nervous, bouncing his foot up and down. “Almost, give it I don't know, 5 more minutes? I’m pretty sure that this is supposed to stay for about 20 minutes.” 

11:37

I turn to Matt, “I believe it's done. Do you wanna rip mine off first?” I give him an option. “YES.” He says. He rests one of his hands on my shoulders pressing down on it, so he could pull harder on the mask with the other. He grabs the mask on the side of my cheek attempting to rip it off in one slick movement. Which doesn't go according to plan. “OUCH WHAT THE FUCK-” he looks at me. “No no, trust me. This is all pure strategy.” My face is scrunched up as he only got one of my cheeks free. He then switches hands and tries to pull off the other side of the face mask. Of course, the whole thing did not come off in one tug. “FUCKING HELL MATT, OUCH.” he looks at me confused. “I thought that the harder I tug the faster I get it off?” 

12:40

This took quite a while But specifically the mask came off. There were some pieces that weren’t pulled off, but that's a problem for another time. I look at Matt with a devious look. “It's my turn!” I look at him and smile. Without warning I pull at the very top, his forehead and tug. This time, it did all come off in one simple gesture. “FUCK” Matt yells. My jaw dropped. “Okay, the case is closed. You just put the mask wrong on me, clearly.”  Matt laughs, “Whatever. It was hard to apply. I'm never doing that again though. My cheeks are so red, holy shit.” He places his hands on his cheeks. “Are yours also warm?” He places his hands on my cheek. “Damn.” I look at him, pretty tired. “I love you.” I put my hands on his cheeks and give him a kiss. He pulls out. “I love you too” as he smiles back at me

A/N : Hey, seems like you made it to the end! I'm a new writer lol so if you enjoyed this, you should totally yk flood my inbox w/ ideas! Also I hope this is good cuz I'm a Chris girl..I was just, feeling it. ykwim. Also, If yall wanna be on taglist just commenttt. anyways, thank you!

Taglist :

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿

[astermagnolia]

Stalkers and Cryptids Soumate Au

I mentioned in another post about ideas for Danny's tattoo and I think I got it.

What do yall think? Think there's too much going on? (Hope y'all can understand mz handwriting💀)

Edit: I may change Bernard's to a pin since, now that I think about, I don't think I've seen him with anything camera related.

+their height hehheeh🤭

[incorrectbatfam]

Chaotic pride items the batfam wears to pride?

Dick: Discowing: Pride Edition

Jason: a bisexual loincloth

Tim: matching realistic fake tattoos with Bernard

Damian: a sword that says "gay fights"

Duke: an America Chavez cosplay

Cullen: just the head of a furry costume

Stephanie: a Jesus drag king persona

Cassandra: Kon's leather jacket but make it ace

Barbara: six wigs on top of each other

Harper: a comically large bowtie

Carrie: trans flag moon shoes

Kate: flannel everything

Alfred: a catgirl maid outfit

Selina: the rainbow batsuit

Bruce: Selina's wedding dress

[space-dreams-world]

DPXDC soulmate prompt au:

Everyone has a soulmate. Even if the way you meet your soulmate is different, you can still feel a click in place. Even with different species, romantically or platonically, and multiple soulmates. ( like one person has by sight, and their soulmate is by touch. Basically, you can have soulmates with the same markings or two different types and still work)

So, Danny, after becoming Phantom and dealing with the ghosts, finally finds a way to shut down the Portal around his last year of high school, and multiple people aren't happy about that, i.e. his parents, the ghosts, Sam, the GIW, and even Vlad as he was banking on the fentons for his shit to work, and he had plans surrounding Danny's family.

He gets run out of town by Amity and his parents after they uncover his secret. Danny then spends the next few years in space, discovering aliens.

(During his disappearance, the GIW are disbanded, Vlad doesn't have access to the zone anymore and asking for him to search in space is a permadeath sentence for him, his parents regret their Gung ho attitude and miss him. In a twist of faith, an accident kills them off, and they are working through their regrets in the zone, waiting to see Danny so they can pass)

Now, as I mentioned at the top, this is a soulmate au, so in Death, Danny is able to get a feel for soulmate, like if his soulmate had a marking for him to recognize even if his soulmate identifier is lock on sight. (He essentially has an advantage of figuring out his significant other as he has his soulmate symbol on him.)

So, whose Danny significant other? Look no further than Gotham depressed himbo dad, Bruce Wayne, whose soulmate identifier is a tattoo of Danny's mark.

This could be pretty early on in his hero career or after Duke is a part of the Bats, but basically, Bruce goes on a space mission with the league and in one of their stints to get info, Danny immediately recognizes Batman's mark which was his soulmate clue. So, Danny, who hasn't spoken human or been on earth in years, has zero in on him,but they don't get to talk before Bruce heads back to earth, but Bruce knows there is something off about the possible alien man.

On Bruce's side, he hasn't seen anyone that has made it work, except if if you want to make it a polycule with Superman. (Dick has his redhead squad or the titans, Jason ends up with Roy or someone else, Tim has Bernard and Kon, and Damian is starting to platonically be friends with Jon. Cass has found her soulmate in Stephanie.

(The Joker is a weird case where he has a soulmate that isn't born yet or died already, or he has no one and that why he is crazy and scars the Bat symbol on him as he sees his enemy with no soulmate either.)

Anyway, something big happens on earth, like an invasion, and the Bat is almost killed before a bright light descends upon the sky and removes the threat. Batman, once recovering his sight, sees the same masked alien man from before. Once they regroup, the masked man removes his helmet, and Bruce finally gets his soulmate connection. Danny has aged significantly since his first departure of earth and attempting to relearn earth's customs and figure out what happened with his family and friends.

( Jazz is soulmates with Talia and is in a secret relationship with her after Damian is made.

Sam is soulmates with Paulina but despises this, which causes her some mental instability, and refuses to acknowledge their bond, somehow still banking on Danny being her knight, and rebrands herself as Pamela Isley or Poison Ivy and finds love in Harley.

Tucker actually renames himself after Amity as Silas Stone and has a child. He works with Alien Tech to see if he can find his best friend again.

Dani is only made after Danny's return to earth but loves her indefinitely as he feels that the Portal had robbed him of a good life with offspring.

And Dan is working on his aggression in the zone.)