#Being Julia Roberts
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driftershunt · 6 months ago
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Tom Cruise at the Wimbledon men's final!
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assigning six roles to the girls of east high, strictly on vocal ability, vocal tone, and what i like to call, vocal vibes:
catherine of aragon: kourtney greene
just listen to no way and tell me that you can't imagine dara singing it, you can't. hell, i can even picture her performing it on stage. she has both the power and sass needed to be aragon
anne boleyn: dani
don't lose your head is both bouncy and vocally challenging, something i feel like kylie could be good at. she could probably EASILY pull off the runs at the end. it's also funny to me because she put on a british accent as tiara and there's the "don't be bitter" part. i also think that kylie could portray the comedic, banter-y vibe
jane seymour: ashlyn caswell
julia's voice is very powerful and strong, but also light, which is how i would describe jane's. the ad-libs in the final chorus of heart of stone would probably come so easy to her, i can just feel it
anna of cleves: gina porter
get down is made for someone with a deeper singing voice, which sofia has. i think she can portray the sass well. i also think she would sing it pretty close to the way genesis sang it on the original recording, strong and full but not very high-note-y (which is NOT a word but you get the point)
katherine howard: nini salazar-roberts
olivia's lower register would sound really nice on the verses of all you wanna do. and i feel like she would be able to nail the parts where howard breaks down as it's not much different from the vibe of her music (or at least what i've heard of it). and she could most likely hit the notes in the final chorus
catherine parr: emmy
liamani could easily pull off the vocals of i don't need your love, i know she could. like julia, she has a powerful but light voice, which works for parr's parts (hehe parrts)
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albonium · 2 years ago
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for once netflix recommended to me something that i could actually like: a spy movie with julia roberts (duplicity)
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nightguide · 3 months ago
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autistics taking over the world by thought reduction: you're too lazy Hollywood to SAVE MATT DAMON (and now they're all conspiracy theorists.. uh oh)
youtube
that but like they're now animated to think twice as fast as you do by literally living their lives (the plot hole for Hole in the wall irl)
west end vs broadway
now give us back Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway controversy (nobody won Andy Peters prize of a giveaway which ends with a Sunday dream) so you would have intuitively talked to Ant and Dec about the Glee cast and they were in on it like no other gameshow existed but primarily working for the government at the same time. get a break now cuz you're all going on a takeaway getaway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#how does ant and dec feel like to work inside a dream to go back out of their sock theory being done by a blogger in the uk about conspiracy#feelings like no other fan or contestant ever sold#or how the pussycat dolls have a primordial revelation about Kimberly Wyatt being on mindhunter:glee for 10 dollars an hour#the brokest pussycat on her way home#cat deeley is now terrified of selena gomez in real life#she was on acquaintances written for a whole new subjective#antanddec cinematic au has a nightmare reference to jesse st james#i will write more about cat deeley dont u worry#theories now fought without honour#what will Kimberly Wyatt do now#selena gomez outrunning her presidency scheme by puppet force montage on julia roberts taking over as the 90s helm acquainted by#only murders in the building having no sensible arc like eugene levy is indomitably hated for by the public residency of older generation#actors being in touch with nostalgia more often than the younger minds recruited to the spanish regime (age of gomez)#demonise the lyrics not the voice#whatever justin bieber says#the boy lives on#toxic neuro-divergents have it too hard cuz of her these days#demi is her own country respectively in her own rights according to Selena's spanish magick revolving her influence with her magi unit in#heaven she calls prime earth#slave trades from the albino community doing her work to cry harder to get no points across is her tactics to slave the queen household#(muslim) so the end times is caused because of her making other women look too bad to be seen alive without a muslim friend by their side
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lewishcmilton · 2 years ago
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saw ocean's 8 before seeing the trilogy and i just realised how many plot lines they took
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briemotherlorde · 2 years ago
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I'm not a bot people, I'm just a girl not standing in front of a boy but laid down on bed asking strangers on Tumblr that I start following to not block me, thank you and have a gif day, beep boop
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anthropoetics · 9 days ago
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love is stored in the pen & paper: poems
being boring, wendy cope
intifada incantation: poem #8 for b. b. L., june jordan
thursday, james longenback
history student falls in love with astrophysics student, keaton st. james
the demon, mikhail lermontov
four friends catch up over pasta, amy kay
sonnet 18: shall i compare thee to a summer's day, william shakespeare
litany in which certain things are crossed out, richard siken
the eyes of the poor, charles baudelaire
stop me if you've heard this one before, kaveh akbar
conversation with a rock, wisława szymborska
the joy of writing, wisława szymborska
can in an empty apartment, wisława szymborska
blind fish, yusuf komunyakaa
the crane, javier peñalosa m.
train to agra, vandana khanna
landscape with a blur of conquerors, richard siken
warming her pearls, carol ann duffy 
what resembles the grave but isn't, anne boyer
what the living do, marie howe
gretel, from a sudden clearing, marie howe
death with dignity, kaylee young-eun jeong
keeping quiet, robert bly
i go back to may 1937, sharon olds
the encounter, louise gluck
outhouse, rachel mckibbens
the end of poetry, ada limón
i felt a funeral, in my brain, emily dickinson
how to watch your brother die, michael lassell
boston, aaron smith
laura palmer graduates, amy woolard
upon learning that some korean war refugees used partially detonated napalm canisters as fuel, franny choi
monet refuses the operation, lisel mueller
flare, mary oliver
tomorrow is a place, sanna wani
shoulder, naomi shihab nye
snowdrops, louise glück
hammond b3 organ cistern, gabrielle calvocoressi
the night dances, sylvia plath
makeout sonnet, douglas f. brown
you mean you don't weep at the nail salon, elizabeth acevedo
when i'm asked by lisel mueller
every single day (after raymond carver's hummingbird), john straley
for julia, in the deep water, john morris
the same city, terrance hayes
in blackwater woods, mary oliver
the bridge, c. dale young
mittelbergheim, czesław miłosz
gift, czesław miłosz
late ripeness, czesław miłosz
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antimonyandthyme · 21 days ago
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WHAT IF CARCAR REALLY HAD MAGNETS BETWEEN THEM
/or a stuck together au
“It’s like Eat Pray Love,” Carlos says.
“I’ll be honest,” Guanyu says. “Neither of you remind me of Julia Roberts much.”
“Please just,” Oscar massages the bridge of his nose, “point to a place on the map. Any place.”
“Why China,” Guanyu presses. Of course he’s curious. “Why not Spain or Australia?”
“Neutral ground,” Oscar says quickly.
“Ah I see,” Guanyu says. “You can’t agree on a spot, right?”
“I keep telling him,” Carlos says, always with the over-the-top gesticulating. He tries it with both hands first, then realizes Oscar’s being all sorts of petty and weighing his left arm down on purpose where they’re joined, so he continues gesturing eagerly with his right. “Come to Madrid!” He nearly smacks Oscar in the nose with his hand. Oscar scowls. “We have so much good food. I can show you all the things, but no! Piastri will only agree to get sunburned on Australian sand. We have beaches in Spain, too!”
“Guanyu,” Oscar urges, “a place, now.”
“Here,” Guanyu says, index finger plopping down. Like some cartoon scene, both Oscar and Carlos automatically lean in to squint at the map, and bump their heads against each other.
“I hate you.”
“Hard same.”
“Lijiang is actually a famous honeymoon destination,” Guanyu says.
“I hate you,” Carlos says.
“Hard same,” Oscar says.
“Hey.” Guanyu grins like this entire situation is wildly hilarious. Maybe it is, for everyone else. Oscar kinda wants to jump into the sea, but Carlos will only drag him down, their uncoordinated conjoined limbs tangled and thrashing. “You guys asked me to choose. Look, don’t you want to see pandas?”
Carlos makes some sort of shocked noise. Oh, for the love of—Oscar groans. He knows when someone’s just bought something.
“Carlos wants to see pandas,” Guanyu says, sounding far too delighted. “Chengdu’s like a fourteen-hour drive from Lijiang, that’s totally doable.”
They stare at him blankly.
“Oh my god. Chengdu, you know? Research base for giant panda breeding? Panda capital of China?”
Twiddle-Dum and Twiddle-Dee: “Ohhhhh.”
“Yeah, now you got it. In between, you can hit a dozen other places and never grow bored.” Guanyu taps his finger along the map, tick, tick, tick. “So why not? Complete the journey. Transform into Julia Roberts.”
“And break the curse,” Carlos says solemnly.
“Break the curse,” Oscar repeats miserably, but with his left hand, goes to look up flight tickets on his phone.
--
They discover that the only way they can pull on extra layers is if they yank themselves apart with all their might, creating just a sliver of space between their elbows. It’s painful. Oscar never wants to have to do this again.
“Now,” Carlos yells, and in a flurry of movement Oscar gets his coat on before their elbows snap back together.
Ow, ow. Oscar’s eyes are watering. He suspects Carlos’s is doing just the same.
“Okay, okay,” Oscar says. “Now your turn.”
Carlos waves him off. “I’m not cold.”
Oscar opens his mouth to argue, but Carlos is already dragging them off toward a sign with a car on it. The rental cars are left-hand steering, and it dawns on both of them at the exact time that Oscar will be doing all the driving, with the way they’re stuck to each other.
“No fair,” Carlos moans, as Oscar fist pumps the air. It would be too childish to stick his tongue out at Carlos. So he doesn’t.
A part of Oscar’s a spectator to all of this. Watching with his mouth hanging wide open, some disembodied shade looking from outside in, as his own body purchased tickets, packed a luggage (with Carlos in the same room), and boarded a plane. None of this makes sense. Getting into a car with Carlos, firstly. Then with the added condition that both of them have to clamber in from one side, before Carlos can climb over the middle console into the passenger seat. Fourteen hours of this, huh? He’s going to give Guanyu hell when they get back.
If, they make it back. Oscar guesses it’ll be two hours before they attempt to murder each other. You don’t go road tripping with people you can’t stand. It’s the one and only sacred rule of road tripping.
“I think I saw this in Final Destination.”
Oscar, zoned out staring at the road, manages a stupid, “What?”
“You know that pileup where everyone dies?”
“Everyone always dies in Final Destination.”
Carlos rolls his eyes, shakes their joined elbows for emphasis. “The scene where the logs fall off? A lot of screaming? A lot of swerving? All because they were stuck behind a logging truck?”
“Carlos.” Oscar takes one deep, deep calming breath. “Are you asking me to overtake?”
“If you can, yes,” Carlos says, like Oscar’s the one being thick. “Go on. I’ll help you hold the wheel steady.”
Oscar cranes his neck and glances around the side of the truck. The opposing lane seems clear, not a headlight in sight. What the heck. You can take the driver off a track, but he’ll still want to race.
“Woo!” Carlos yells, as Oscar zooms around the steadily plodding truck. A little clumsy, with Carlos almost overcompensating the steer as they merge back into the right lane, but successful, nonetheless. No one dies.
Mismatched hands on the wheel. Adrenaline spiking for just a few seconds of speed. Oscar finds himself wearing a grin to match Carlos’s. Maybe they’ll cut it down to thirteen and a half hours like this.
--
“Guanyu was right,” Carlos says thoughtfully.
Oscar’s got his nose buried in a helpful English guide. A sense of ambitious adventure appears to have overtaken them. He wants to hit at least three lookout points today. “About?”
“Look,” Carlos points in some vague direction. “All the couples.”
“Huh,” Oscar says. “That is a lot of couples.”
No one pays them any mind. They haven’t been recognized since they stepped foot here. For all intents and purposes, they could just be another one of those peaceful couples, milling about.
Well. Peaceful, would be a bit of a pipe dream.
“YOU CAN PLAY GOLF AT JADE DRAGON SNOW MOUNTAIN.”
“Carlos,” Oscar hisses. “Quiet.”
“You can play golf,” Carlos repeats, softer but no less excited, eyes larger than two sparkling coins, “at Jade Dragon Snow Mountain!”
Oscar snatches the guide back from Carlos’s hand. “I’m pretty sure I just read that the mountain’s considered holy.”
“They let people play golf on a holy mountain,” Carlos says for the third damn time. “I love it here.”
“We’re not playing golf,” Oscar says.
“Oscar,” Carlos says, dismayed.
“You have one hand, remember?” Oscar wriggles their stuck arms, a reminder he didn’t even know Carlos would have needed.
“Riiight,” Carlos says, shoulders drooping.
“We can still see the mountain though,” Oscar says, is alarmed at the tiny skip-hop going on in his chest when Carlos brightens again. Doesn’t take a lot to keep this guy happy. That’s, good for him. That’s good.
They decide the cable cars up are too much hassle, with the queues already stretching out for hours. The mountain’s basically viewable from anywhere, so Oscar steers Carlos toward Old Town. Where he discovers that Carlos is terrible at haggling. Absolute nightmare. He hands over money to anyone who so much as gestures him over. The singular tote bag Oscar brings starts to get filled with random trinkets, from fans to calligraphy pens.
“What’s this,” Oscar says, when Carlos shakes his head as Oscar prepares to pack away two wooden charms in the shape of a very rotund cat.
“Not for keeping,” Carlos explains. “They’re for wishes. We hang them up in the temple.”
“Oh,” Oscar says. Carlos had gotten one for him too. “I didn’t think you believed in these things.”
“I don’t,” Carlos says quickly, before looking away, like he’s afraid Oscar will laugh at him.
Oscar chews at his lip. He didn’t mean to suggest it was silly. It’s a little unfair for Carlos to think so lowly of him. If they could, this is where they’d walk their separate ways and browse different shops, long enough for the awkward tension to diffuse. Come back refreshed and recharged for more time spent in each other’s company. No such grace, here.
The stream whispers as it flows by the stone-paved path. The wooden house clusters look as if they’re linked, hand to hand, a never-ending line all the way to the top. Everything here’s older than Oscar, older by years and years and years.
“I keep an amulet in my helmet,” Carlos says. His eyes wander around like he’s sightseeing. “I don’t know why I lied.”
“A little belief can’t hurt,” Oscar blurts out, just so Carlos would stop looking so wounded. “That’s what I always say.”
Carlos nudges him. “You never say that.”
Above them, a thousand colorful prayer flags blow gently in the wind. Wooden charms as numerous as the birds adorn the roof of the temple. Wishes for health, prosperity, family. Oscar tries to peek at what Carlos is writing, only for Carlos to shove him away so violently that they both fall over.
Oscar laughs as Carlos strains to keep his charm out of prying reach. No easy task, both of them being joined and all.
May the new year bring surprises and joy. For my family and friends, good health always. For myself—
Oscar wrenches his gaze away. Some things aren’t for anyone else to know.
He watches Carlos hang his charm up carefully. And then Carlos waits, back turned as much as he can, for Oscar to write his own wish. It’s simple. Fast car, many wins. Happiness. Oscar ties his somewhere near Carlos’s. Closes his eyes and listens to them jangle together.
--
For myself, patience.
--
Oscar’s pretty sure he’s dying. He’s pretty sure this is what dying feels like.
“I thought,” he gasps, in between gulps of warm tea that only makes things infinitely worse, “I told her not spicy?”
Carlos is cackling like the unhelpful asshole he is. “This is not spicy.”
When you explore some place new, local recommendations for food are a must. Oscar’s seriously reconsidering Travel Tip 101 when he gets fed hotpot that turns his tongue worryingly numb.
“Well, it is a little spicy,” Carlos concedes. “But nothing I can’t take.”
“Isn’t Spanish food not spicy?”
“It’s not,” Carlos says. “Actually, I wasn’t good at taking spice until after I started driving.” He fans exaggeratedly at Oscar’s overheated mouth, like that could even help an iota. It’s so Carlos it’s endearing. Shit. “I only started putting hot sauce on all my trainer’s meals because everything tasted so bland.”
Oscar coughs, wiping at his leaking nose. “It burns,” he moans.
“There, there,” Carlos says, mock sympathetic. “Don’t cry.”
“Seriously.” Oscar blinks rapidly, is it affecting his eyeballs too? His pulse thuds like the hoofbeat of a runaway horse. “How are you not even sweating?”
Carlos winks at him. “They don’t call me chili for nothing.”
“You’re the worst.”
“Aw,” Carlos says, and finally puts himself to some use by waving down a server, and sweettalking her into bringing a pitcher of iced water over.
Oscar calls first dibs on the shower, claiming the need to wash the spice out of his pores. Carlos rolls his eyes but acquiesces, gallant about it for once. They force themselves not to make it awkward. Pull apart for just long enough to slip their clothes off, eyes everywhere but on each other. Carlos stands outside the curtain as Oscar tries to shampoo and soap himself down in the narrow tub with one hand.
When it's Carlos's turn: “Oh my god,” Oscar says. “Carlos, are you using soap for your hair?”
“I’m trying to be quick,” Carlos says, voice disembodied even though he’s right next to Oscar. Separated by the thinnest sheet of translucent nylon. The shadow of Carlos is unmistakable in the light. The broadness of his shoulders, the tapering of his waist. “So you do not stand outside for forty-five minutes like I did.”
“I didn’t take forty-five minutes!”
Carlos laughs, the cackle now almost familiar. “And how are you knowing I’m using soap? Are you peeking?”
“I hate you,” Oscar says, waits for Carlos to return with a Hard same like they’re in on the same joke. Waits and waits until Carlos emerges from behind the curtain, not fifteen minutes later, lips still sealed together like withholding some secret.
--
As designated shotgunner, with no say in the matter, Carlos is in charge of the GPS and the AUX cord. After the second album of Enrique Iglesias, Oscar relegates him to Captain of Pointing Out Exit Signs Only. Carlos pretends to pout about it, but he reclines his seat, as far back as their joined elbows will allow. Closes his eyes, limbs loose, all relaxed. He looks so good like that, when he’s as easy as easy can be.
Oscar swallows the click in his throat back down.
“I feel bad,” Carlos murmurs, sounding like he’s close to drifting off. “You’re doing all the work.”
“I don’t mind,” Oscar says. He’s getting real good at one-handed maneuvers now. Hah, maybe this will be beneficial on the track. “I hate getting driven. I rather do it myself.”
“Control freak,” Carlos says.
“Yeah,” Oscar admits. “A little bit.”
When Oscar dares to look over at Carlos, there’s a smile curving his lips gently up. They didn’t magically learn how to talk to each other. But it’s a start, trading little morsels of information like passing notes in school.
One of Guanyu’s other suggestions had been Emei Mountain, boasting an altitude of over three-thousand meters and some ridiculous number of stairs.
(Sixty thousand, to be precise. Oscar had opened his mouth to complain, but Guanyu had responded with a report of the monkeys that lived in the mountain. There came that dazed, excited noise from Carlos again, and Oscar knew it was a lost cause.)
Jet-lag’s working in their favour, and they’ve arrived before the tour buses can deposit too many people for them to stomach. Ambitions are dampened when they realize climbing’s harder when surgically joined by some unknown force at the elbow. When Oscar lifts his left leg, his right arm wants to go, which means Carlos’s left arm needs to go, which means Carlos’s right leg needs to lift. They clunk around clumsily for the first chunk of steps, griping and critiquing each other’s technique. The fog rolls in and laps at their ears, and for a while, there’s nothing much to see.
An elderly lady pressures them into an early lunch, and Carlos gives in effortlessly, like always. It ends up being the best thing Oscar’s eaten since coming here. They fight over the last slice of barbecue pork, and Oscar wins, by virtue of being slightly better at using chopsticks.
By the time they’re halfway up, they’ve got climbing down to an art, limbs moving like clockwork around the constriction. Carlos takes advantage of their newfound skill to increase their pace to a march.
“Carlos,” Oscar’s not ashamed to beg. “Please, won’t you stop and look at the monkeys.”
Carlos laughs at him and calls him slow. Because Carlos is crazy, he’s taken off his light sweater even in this weather, and the threadbare white shirt he’s wearing leaves little to imagination. Chest hair, nipples. Oscar looks away before he can be caught staring. The fog’s given way to some amazing views. Rich vegetation, more trees than Oscar’s brain knows what to do with. Beautiful things all around.
Carlos’s face swims into view. “Come on.” The tugging at the elbow doesn’t hurt as much as it did before. “To the top! There are giant golden statues!”
The statues are indeed golden. And they are indeed giant. The largest one weighs six hundred and sixty metric tons, according to the pamphlet. Larger, surely, than the feeling expanding in his lungs.
“Look, Oscar!” Carlos points with their joined arms, all delight.
“Yeah,” Oscar says. Quickened pulse from the strenuous activity, and he wills it to settle. Control freak. “I’m looking.”
--
Designated phone time on the bed is an hour long. Oscar uses it to text his mum, sift through photos from the day. With how close they’re forced to be, it’s hard to get a picture without a body part of Carlos making its way in. Oscar finds he doesn’t quite mind. He’s got one of the cloudless, blue sky, the backdrop for the Leidongping cable car station. Carlos is pointing at something again, his finger situated artistically right in the middle of the lidless eye of the sun.
Guanyu’s the one who got them into this mess, so he probably deserves a photo update. Oscar sends it over WhatsApp and receives an O-M-G!!! in return, along with nine panda emojis.
No pandas, we’re not at Chengdu yet, Oscar types.
Honestly, I’m surprised you even made it this far, Guanyu says.
Wow, thanks
Oscar squints, rereads Guanyu’s message.
Wait, you were the one who gave us this itinerary!
Hahaha, is all Guanyu says, followed by multiple peace sign emojis.
加油!
Oscar has to google translate that, learn that it means to add oil. To go for it. Go for what?
“Teto says he wishes he was here too,” Carlos says sleepily, looking up from his phone.
“Teto’s out of luck,” Oscar says, ignoring the flash of something hot and possessive down his spine.
He plucks Carlos’s phone out of his willing fingers. Reaches over Carlos for the pull chain of the lamp. Beneath him for just a second, Carlos shifts, comfortable, cozy. Oscar gets the ludicrous notion that if he were to collapse down, right now, Carlos’s body would welcome him.
Shit. How long until they come apart?
Click, off go the lights. Meekly, Oscar makes his way back to his designated side of the bed. Carlos mumbles a soft Good night. More intimate than he could ever mean. Oscar mumbles something back, and satisfied, Carlos closes his eyes. He likes sleeping on his side. Coincidences of coincidences, so does Oscar. Carlos falls asleep faster though, and it gives Oscar a lot of time to stare without accusation. Trace the planes and slopes of Carlos’s face before he drifts off himself.
--
At long last. Chengdu panda base.
After jostling with the crowds to watch the pandas tumble around for their food, then tumble around to play, then tumble around to sleep, Oscar turns to Carlos.
“Well?”
“Eh,” Carlos makes a see-saw motion with his hands. “It’s a little anti-climatic.”
Oscar barks out a laugh. A joined body part, three shared showers, thirteen and a half hours in a car together later, and Carlos still surprises him. He really doesn’t do Oscar well on a neurochemical level.
“Isn’t this what you came here for?”
“I thought it was,” Carlos says. It’s no longer only their elbows touching. Now it’s bicep to little pinky, pressed up against each other like puzzle pieces which fit slightly crooked. One long, unbroken line of heat. “I thought—”
Carlos tapers off. Oscar waits.
“Well, it’s the journey that counts, right?”
“Uh huh.”
“They’re very cute, too.”
“Uh huh,” Oscar says. “Pictures or Guanyu’s never going to believe we made it here.”
Oscar takes one of Carlos with a sleeping mama panda in the background. He’s halfway through checking if it’s any good when Carlos grabs the phone.
“Come here,” he says.
It’s not easy arranging themselves together and catching a panda as well, but heck, didn’t they climb sixty-thousand stairs with some careful coordination? Carlos holds out the phone with his right hand, smooshes their cheeks together. The scrap of Carlos’s stubble against his skin—that’s, there’s a new sensation, in every way possible.
“Say panda,” Carlos says.
“Panda,” Oscar says, the same way he would say, Alert, or Danger, or Abort. His cheeks are going to show up pink in the photo. And Carlos will notice and say something completely asinine—
“Hee hee,” Carlos says. “Your eyes are closed, Oscar.”
--
Once they get enough panda souvenirs to shower the grid, the rest of the day passes in the laziest of fashions. They’ve hit their goal now, so there’s no need to rush. Oscar actually bothers to look through Yelp for restaurant options, and after all his hard work, gets yanked by Carlos into some random alleyway with plastic stools to eat hand-pulled noodles.
Meandering like leaves on an easy stream down the folk and culture street, the promise of a hot shower eventually calls to them. Oscar, gentleman that he is, lets Carlos go first.
Oscar stares unblinkingly at a water spot on a tile as Carlos hums and soap himself, as easy and as relaxed as if he weren’t stuck with Oscar listening to the way the water hits his skin. The first time in the shower, when Oscar had unwittingly brushed his hands over his dick, he’d jumped, then stood still for a whole minute, waiting for Carlos to call him out on it. It’d felt forbidden, with Carlos standing not two inches away.
To Carlos’s credit, he doesn’t punch Oscar when the curtain is pulled back, with a force that can only be described as resolution. He only yelps like a little pup, clapping his free hand over his chest, before the hand trails self-consciously down.
“I’ll help you shampoo,” Oscar says. “It’s faster this way.”
“Well,” Carlos says, “if it’s faster.”
They’re staying at the Shang this time, and there’s fancy shampoo smelling like bergamot and orange. Oscar douses Carlos with half a bottle, squeezing too much out by accident. He keeps bumping his hand into Carlos’s while they attempt to scrub. The lather gets into Carlos’s eyes, and Oscar has to try and hide his smile while Carlos whines piteously. It’s not actually faster in any way.
“There, there,” Oscar says, in a similar tone as to when Carlos had observed Oscar leaking copious fluids over hotpot. “Baby.”
Carlos makes a face and pretends to start crying again, and something terribly fond constricts the entirety of Oscar’s ribcage.
Towelling each other dry is a whole new learning curve, just like putting clothes on, and driving one-handed, and climbing stairs. They’re looking at each other this time, too. That’s also new. Huh. Carlos is very, very gentle as he dries the back of Oscar’s ears. The kind of gentle that speaks of someone having done this for him before, resulting in an insistence in getting this right. Oscar gets all warm, even with the water cooling rapidly on his skin.
“Phone time?”
“No need,” Carlos yawns.
It’s Carlos that leans over this time for the light switch, even though Shang’s posh enough to have light switches at both sides for easy access. Carlos hovers over Oscar for a suspended moment, and Oscar sucks in a breath, straining with anticipation. The head pat is unexpected, but enough for now.
Satisfied, Oscar closes his eyes.
--
“Hey!” Carlos exclaims. “Oscar, we’re free!”
“Whuh,” Oscar says blearily. He’ll never acquire Carlos’s habit of waking up at eight.
“Look, look,” Carlos says, all childish delight. He waves his arms in front of Oscar’s face. Both his arms.
“Hey!” Oscar says, shooting up, suddenly awake.
“Yeah!”
“So all we needed was a shower?”
“Oscar,” Carlos says disapprovingly. “It wasn’t just a shower. We wrote this on prayer cards.” Oscar doesn’t point out neither of them wrote this on a prayer card. “We climbed a mountain. We saw pandas!”
“And took a shower,” Oscar says.
Carlos sniffs. “Have it your way.”
“Fine, fine,” Oscar says. It’s too early to be feeling all warm and crumbly, like the center of a freshly baked pie. “It was the journey that counts, yes?”
“Yes,” Carlos nods. “Maybe. Maybe it was something I—we had to learn. In preparation for. For—”
May the new year bring surprises and joy. For myself, patience.
Their hands are no longer joined, but Oscar takes Carlos’s, and presses a quick, dry kiss to the backs of his knuckles. Carlos is so surprised he lets him.
“Ah,” Carlos says, voice trembly and a little hopeful. “What happens now?”
Oscar looks down at their hands. Going through all of this to separate, only to choose to stay touching. There’s something about a journey being full circle, but Oscar doesn’t want to finish that thought for fear of actually transforming into Julia Roberts. And anyway—
“Now we drive back.”
They’re not near done, yet.
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chlmtsdoll · 6 months ago
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SHOPPING WITH ART
౨ৎ Summary: it’s in the title ! Ballerina!reader x Art on a shopping date 🤍
౨ৎ Word count: 2k
౨ৎ Warnings: sugar baby! reader, mentions & talk of sex (duh !), semi public sexual acts, age gap (reader early 20’s) dilf age Art, fluff, needy reader, horny Art, mentions of Tashi in between, mutual pinning, petite!reader (sorry tall ppl), reader and Art are all over each other constantly
A/N: don’t know if I should classify this as a blurb or a fic but I’m gonna go with blurb since it’s short and sweet !!
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“Dogs ?”
You had scrunched up your nose and shook your head terribly at Arts attempts to guess your favorite animal. He tilted his head as he looked down at you with a grin.
“Cats ?” He probed. You nodded pleased, with a giggle.
“Do I strike you as a dog person at all ?”
“No.” Art had laughed out and it sounded of wealth and pure adoration of you.
You two had been walking down Rodeo Drive in the mist of perfect weather on a bright day, Art had offered to take you shopping while Tashi took care of tennis business for the two of you. She requested some space and quietness for an hour or two — so of course you’d never pass up your expectation of basically trying on dresses for Art Donaldson as a living.
It still hadn’t hit you on the full one-eighty your life has taken from going from a lost ballerina to Art and Tashi’s young, beautiful, tennis protégé.
Or shared girlfriend. Whatever you had been.
You loved it. Especially days like this, you’d spend as much time as you could with Art when he wasn’t touring because he made you feel like it had only been the two of you on earth when you were together. You never stopped laughing, blushing, kissing… and a spawn of other things.
But when he’d been actually playing tennis, or doing things for his career like press or photoshoots. You missed him dearly. Even when he’d spend time with his daughter Lily.
It made your mood dim, and you’d find yourself dissociating from conversations or tennis to think about him or ponder when he’d be back to steal you away again. Tashi always caught you in the drift of it, but you’d snap right back to reality when you’d hear her say. “Okay. Art’s gonna take you out.” Your mood and demeanor would shift entirely.
“I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.”
“Isn’t that movie controversial ?” Art questioned.
“Aren’t you much older than me ?” You replied as you glanced up at him, giving him every glitter of your wide Bambi eyes. He chucked.
“Oh. So should I walk on the other side of the sidewalk.. if that’s too much for you ?” He looked down at you as he moved from where you walked to the other side of the not so spacious side walk to prove his sarcasm.
“No!” You pleaded with a girlish laugh as you followed him anyways, bumping your shoulder into his arm on purpose not to be separated for another second.
You’d want to hold his hand so badly when you two would be out together, but with his public image being Tashi Duncan’s star husband, it wasn’t exactly the best decision when it came to the press — so even with as much as he wanted to, Tashi always told him to lay low when it came to physical contact with you in the open. Especially somewhere as public as Beverly Hills.
You’d never known where paparazzi had been hiding, lurking and waiting. And it wouldn’t be so easy for them to try and idealize it as Art Donaldson and his exceptionally younger “friend” that he takes shopping and on dates.
Tashi couldn’t control when you had been at home and essentially couldn’t keep your hands off each other entirely. Always hugging, cuddling, fucking. It didn’t matter. You were on him or vise versa, but when you’d go out Tashi would specifically insist “don’t touch each other.” before you’d leave.
But hiding didn’t transpire to you so much when you just completely couldn’t help yourself when it came to the man that made your heart flutter, you’d fought the limitations anyways.
Walking side by side you brushed your pinky against Arts much bigger hand. You saw him look down and a soft grin took upon his lips at the sight of your manicured pink tips grabbing at his hand. He could never resist you. locking pinky’s with yours, your smile had turned bashful but pleased as you’d walk together. Just praying no paps had caught the moment and you’d have to go through Tashi’s wrath later on.
It was dress after dress you’d pick off of the rack, skirts, tops, and more shoes than you’d ever seen at once in person. But you absolutely adored this. Trying not to make another painfully high pitched sound when you’d find another pair that made your eyes go wide in awe.
Art was right there behind you as he chuckled at all of your darling reactions, finding it utterly too cute. You were like a doll and he’d spoil you till you’d probably pass out from exhaustion the moment you both got home from all the perks of shopping till you dropped. Literally.
“I don’t know. I love the waistline, but a deep v neck ? I just don’t see it.” You stepped out of the dressing rooms to where Art had been lounging on a chair since he wasn’t allowed in the actual dressing room area.
Art couldn’t say he didn’t know a thing or two when it came to a sense in fashion. Tennis was a sport based around the most expensive and luxury brands displaying their most fashionable and articulately put together pieces on star athletes like himself. But mainly living with the total of four ladies including the maid, had done his knowledge of the craft wonders.
“I think you look amazing in it, baby.” He implied, crystal blues tracing your perfect body cinched into the tight dress.
It made your breast sit in such a way that Art had to adjust the way he sat in his seat. You looked at yourself in the mirror while your hand ran down your curves. Your heels made you stand taller and your legs showcased eloquently.
One of the workers brought you a glass of champagne and you thanked her kindly before taking a sip, then turning to Art with a suggestive unsure look on your face.
“But do I look amazing though ?” You asked puzzled, with mostly sarcasm and art had shook his head, he chuckled as you glided back into the dressing rooms.
He even brought you things to try on as he just couldn’t pull back from his own suggestions of what he thought you looked to die for in.
“Art,” You turned to him opening up the curtain of the small space as you’d been in the mist of changing, just in your bra and panties.
“Put this on.” He passed you a dress and you were taken back by his desperation and need to see you in his choice of clothing. You stood and took it from him, but you couldn’t deny the slight pass of dominance from him turned you on a bit. You smiled at the curtain when he closed it quickly to leave so he wouldn’t get caught.
When you came out in what he had gave you, Art unfolded his leg and sat straighter in his chair as he examined the sight. And was it a sight to see.
The dress was white, a sixties kind of cut as it made your waist look otherworldly. The corset top made your torso extend and it was short enough that if you moved a little too much it would have been quite a show.
“So, what do you think of your outfit choice on me, Mr. Donaldson ?” You asked with your hands on your hips and the look on his face as his eyes graced over you had you blushing terribly.
Art had to take in a breath with an embarrassing place being lost for words, he stood up to walk towards you. His hand touched the delicate straps.
“Turn around.” he instructed.
“Okay. Bossy.” You joked, meanwhile he bit his lip to hold back nearly letting out an audible noise as he took in the way it cupped your ass just right. You were perfection in his eyes, all dolled up just for him. He licked his lips,
“You’re gorgeous, angel. Do you like it ? Because I love it, and I think you need it in your wardrobe. Well, not need, but it would be a nice touch.” He went on and you laughed at his high regard, your face heating up quite quickly now.
“I think it’s really pretty.” Your hand ran across the top that was embroidered with jewels, your smile enchanting as Art watched you.“next one coming up.”
You had walked by to go change again, but as you did you felt a smack on your ass and you turned around quickly to see Art grinning to himself when you gasped.
The responsible side of you would of protested as you remembered Tashi’s words, but you were anything but responsible when it came to your favorite blonde. You shook your head as your sly smile matched his and you went back into your dressing room.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t that long before Art had snuck in again and opened up the curtain, this time inserting himself into the room with you.
“Art!” You could hardly stop him before he had moved your hair out of the way and started attacking your neck with kisses, sucking in your sent as hands ran over your body,
“Fuck, you look good.” He breathed out as he kissed you and you’d fallen weak to his trap. Hands running to grab his hair as he groped your tits through the dress and kissed you sloppily. He towered over your dainty figure as he treated your body like clay for him to mold, you let out a whine from the back of your throat as he ran his tongue over yours.
His hands were flighting to unzip your dress while hiking it up your hips at the same time.
“Careful, it’s not mine,” you breathed out as Art peppered kisses anywhere he could.
“Oh, it will be yours. I’m buying it as soon as I’m done with you.” his tone was low and full of arousal as he pushed your front against the wall of the dressing room.
As much as you wanted him to fuck you right there, feel every inch of his need to have you take his cock while he treated you to an entire wardrobe that any girl your age would die for, was enough to make you shed your panties right then. But you had slipped from under his grasp.
“We can’t, we’re in public.” You uttered and Art had backed away from you with a groan as he ran his hands down his face and you grinned at the state you had gotten him in, uncomfortably hard and dick nearly ready to come through his fly at just the sight of you.
“Fine,” he sighed out and got ahold of himself before leaving again, you tried not to give him a mischievous smirk as you adjusted yourself and the dress. “Don’t think I don’t know how much you want it, you little minx, be ready for later because we’re not done here.”
You batted your eyelashes and acted all innocent as he shut the curtain and then you giggled to yourself. You had all the shoes and dresses you wanted ready by the time you exited again, and now with lips shimmering with gloss, you made eye contact with Art as he paid for all your new attire with pleasure. Licking his own lips every time he scanned over you, he carried all of your bags and he walked out with you happily.
Completely forgetting about the paparazzi, Art took your hand in his with ease. leading you down the walkway and you had bitten your lip under a satisfied little smile.
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A/N: ugh ! I need that !
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emmkayyy03 · 1 month ago
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🌙 Moon vs. Venus Beauty: The Soft Glow or Magnetic Allure? 💕
Let’s talk about two of the most iconic forces of beauty in astrology — Moon and Venus. If the Moon is the soft lullaby that soothes your soul, Venus is the sultry jazz that makes you feel alive. Both create different flavors of beauty, charm, and charisma, and the way they manifest is endlessly fascinating. Let’s dive in, shall we?
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Physical Beauty: The Difference is in the Vibe
When you look at someone with a strong Moon influence, their beauty feels like home. Think Aishwarya Rai(Hasta rising), with her round, symmetrical features and a radiance that’s more celestial than earthly. Moon beauty doesn’t scream for attention — it whispers, gently drawing you in with soft eyes and an air of quiet mystery. Their faces tend to be heart-shaped or round, with skin that glows like it’s been kissed by the moonlight. Their hair often looks like it belongs in a shampoo commercial: soft, wavy, and silky.
Moon beauty has an added layer — it’s not just what they look like, but how they make you feel. When you’re around a Moon-dominant person, it feels like you’ve finally found your way home. Their presence is nurturing, as if they’re silently saying, “You can rest here. You’re safe.” There’s an emotional gravity to them, like they intuitively know what your soul needs.
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Now, Venus beauty? That’s the kind of allure that turns heads and stops conversations. Venus is all about glamour, luxury, and undeniable sensuality. Think Megan Fox — sharp cheekbones, almond-shaped eyes that feel like they see right through you, and lips so full and perfect they could start wars. Where Moon’s beauty is soft and comforting, Venus is bold and provocative. Their complexion glows, but it’s a velvety glow, polished to perfection like fine jewelry. Their bodies? Venus doesn’t just have curves; she is curves.
Behavioral Patterns: Gentle Grace vs. Bold Magnetism
Here’s the thing about Moon beauty: it doesn’t just sit on the surface. Moon-ruled people (especially those with nakshatras like Rohini, Hasta) exude a warmth that feels healing. They’re the ones who listen deeply, who laugh softly, and whose presence feels like an embrace. They don’t need to try to be charming; they just make you feel like you’ve finally found someone who gets you.
Moon natives have a quiet charisma that pulls people in without overwhelming them. You might find yourself telling them your deepest secrets after five minutes of conversation because they radiate an aura of emotional safety.
Venus, on the other hand? She’s the life of the party, the person everyone flocks to because they just have to know her. With Venus nakshatras like Bharani, Purva Phalguni, or Purva Ashadha, there’s this magnetic quality that screams confidence. Where the Moon might invite you over for a heartfelt chat, Venus will make you laugh, flirt shamelessly, and leave you obsessing over her presence long after she’s gone.
The Eyes: Pools of Emotion or Mesmerizing Seduction?
Moon eyes are the kind that make you feel things. They’re large, watery, and brimming with emotion, like they’re always on the verge of tears — but in a way that makes you want to protect them. Think of Marilyn Monroe’s soft, vulnerable gaze, or the way Julia Roberts’ eyes seem to smile even before her lips do.
Moon-dominant eyes don’t just look at you; they see you. Their gaze carries an emotional depth that makes you feel understood, even if they don’t say a word. Being around them feels like returning to a place you didn’t realize you missed.
But Venus eyes? Oh, Venus eyes don’t ask you to protect them — they command you to worship them. They’re almond-shaped, sultry, and impossible to look away from. Look at Megan Fox’s stare, and you’ll know exactly what I mean. Her gaze doesn’t just meet yours; it owns it.
The Smile: Sweet Warmth or Seductive Curves?
A Moon-ruled smile is pure sweetness. It’s not just a smile; it’s an invitation. You see it in someone like Madhubala — soft, symmetrical, and just vulnerable enough to make you feel like she’s letting you in on a secret. Their smiles come from the heart, and you feel it.
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Meanwhile, Venus smiles are more like a weapon. They’re sharp, deliberate, and almost dangerously inviting. Think Lana del rey, whose smile can flirt with an entire room at once. It’s a smile that knows exactly what it’s doing — it’s not just pretty; it’s calculated.
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The Body: Comforting Curves or Voluptuous Glamour?
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Moon beauty carries a softness in their body that feels natural and nurturing. It’s not about being slim or curvy — it’s about balance. Moon-ruled people tend to have bodies that look like they’re built for warm hugs, with soft, round edges that feel inviting rather than intimidating.
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Venus beauty, though? That’s the kind of body that fashion designers dream about. Curves in all the right places, and even when they’re not naturally curvaceous, there’s something about their proportions that just screams luxury. They carry themselves like they’re on a catwalk, even when they’re in sweats. Kim Kardashian, with her iconic Venusian hourglass figure, is a textbook example of this energy.
The Nakshatras: Home vs. Desire
Nakshatras tell us everything about how these planets play out. Moon nakshatras (Rohini, Hasta, Shravana) lean into nurturing, comfort, and emotional resonance. Rohini natives often have lush, fertile beauty — they’re the archetype of feminine grace. Hasta brings precision and charm. They attract and seduce by making others feel their warm and inviting aura and just melt down, it all happens subconciously tho.
On the other hand, Venus nakshatras (Bharani, Purva Phalguni, Purva Ashadha) are built to seduce. Bharani is raw, powerful, and magnetic — Priyanka Chopra’s sharp features and bold presence come to mind. Purva Phalguni is playful and indulgent, while Purva Ashadha is glamorous and commanding, demanding attention without even trying.
Big 3: The Dominant Energy
If the Moon is in your Big 3 (especially as the Ascendant or Moon sign), you’re likely to exude that soft, nurturing glow. Moon-dominant people are the friends who make you feel safe, the lovers who cradle your soul, and the stars who shine without blinding.
If Venus takes center stage in your chart (especially as the Ascendant or Venus sign), your beauty is unforgettable. Venus-dominant people are the ones who walk into a room and make everyone stop and stare. They ooze confidence, sensuality, and a touch of unattainable perfection.
The Final Takeaway
If you’re more Moon, your beauty lies in your softness, your ability to soothe, and the way you make people feel like they’ve found a home in your presence. If you’re Venus, your power is in your allure, your boldness, and the way you inspire desire and admiration.
So, which energy do you resonate with? Are you the glowing comfort of the Moon or the magnetic seduction of Venus? Either way, the universe is lucky to have your light. 🌙✨
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venussaidso · 1 month ago
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Nodal Dominant Themes — 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 12
Ardra, Swati, Shatabhisha embody Rahu qualities to the fullest. Breaking boundaries, whether they mean to or not, refining or rebuilding themselves by the way they absorb Maya (illusion), being thrown into foreign lands to create, explore and challenge existing paradigms. The ultimate mastery of Rahu nakshatras lies in recognizing that Maya is not the goal, but the process of refinement. This is shown in the natives' urge to learn, apply and cultivate something for themselves. This means that their initial stages have a lot of lack, and that's where that hunger to achieve and receive comes from. They'll take on challenges if it means there's an opportunity to fulfill themselves. In these following examples, the Rahuvian character is often given an opportunity to enter higher societies, usually through a job, a scholarship or from meeting the right person in the right time.
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Swati Sun Julia Roberts, in Pretty Woman, plays a poor, sex worker who enters the high society through a billionaire and becomes 'refined'. Despite her glow up, her authenticity still contrasts with the pretentiousness of the high class social circle she finds herself in, challenging their perceptions of worth and class.
Much like Pretty Woman, in the film My Fair Lady, the Rahuvian meets a snobbish phonetics professor who wages that he can make her presentable in high society.
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In the film Khoobsurat, Shatabhisha Moon Sonam Kapoor Ahuja plays a quirky physiotherapist who is ill-mannered and boundless. She is given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work for a royal family. There, she meets a handsome young Rajput prince who is her complete opposite (given that he is portrayed by a Mula Moon native, Fawad Khan, who adheres to the customs of his background, bound by his roots).
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Despite their different social classes, the royal family learns a lot from her authenticity.
This theme of outer duality in which the native crosses over to a whole new world different from where they originally came from centers a lot around the 'poor vs rich' dynamic in these modern examples — exploring classism, elitism and other societal divisions which make outsiders.
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As I briefly gave examples in this post, Shatabhisha can be linked to Cinderella. Which means that trine nakshatras can also inherit this theme of person from poor background falls in love with person from wealthy background. As shown in that post, the union is often with a Mula native. It was expected to find these Rahu-Ketu connections, as the nodes are always one with each other. Their themes can overlap, which I'll be going more into further down this post.
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The Mula CEO also comes from old money.
Rahu thrives on venturing the unknown and embracing the unconventional, often shown in the trope of one falling in love with someone alien.
This otherworldly love is seen in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, where a Rahuvian sailor falls in love with the mermaid, Syrena. Mermaids are captured and exploited by humans — immediately we see this theme of division. And unlike the other humans, he treats Syrena with respect and equality.
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Syrena is portrayed by Mula Moon Astrid Berges-Frisbey, while the sailor is portrayed by Ardra Sun Sam Claflin. In the end, Philip becomes a merman and lives with Syrena underwater. This transformation that the Rahuvian goes through in order to unite with a lover of another species is also seen in the film Lisa Frankenstein, starring Shatabhisha Moon Kathryn Newton — although it's more in a Romeo-&-Juliet style.
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The Rahuvian character, Lisa, falls in love with Creature, who is a living corpse portrayed by Magha ASC Cole Sprouse. Lisa kills herself in a tanning bed to join the Creature in death. Their union shows her alive, but mummified.
This theme of one overcoming the obstacle between them and the person they desire is seen yet again in the film Casper (1995). A girl, played by Magha ASC Christina Ricci, meets a ghost named Casper, who falls in love with her. Casper is voiced by Malachi Pearson who has potential Swati Moon. Casper's one wish is to be human again so that he can win her heart.
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His wish is fulfilled but he can only be human up until midnight. His human form is portrayed by Swati Moon Devon Sawa.
In the Korean drama, Are You Human?, Shatabhisha Sun Gong Seung-yeon plays a bodyguard who is given an opportunity to protect an advanced humanoid whom she falls in love with. Another abnormal, interspecies relationship.
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The humanoid is the clone of an heir of a rich conglomerate. The heir is portrayed by Magha Moon native Seo Kang-joon – him being born into wealth contrasts with her being brought up from a poorer background; we see this theme again of a cross over between two opposite worlds as she gets romantically entangled with him.
A lot of these pairings show Rahu's need to break taboos and seek authenticity over conformity, as these unions tend to be abnormal in a discriminatory society. As illusory as Rahu is by nature, it highlights the illusions within society and the challenges that come with it.
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Rahu seeks to challenge conventions, forcing individuals to confront their biases, embrace diversity, and explore love in its most expansive ways; while Ketu can be detached from society in general, already transcending or dissociating from it altogether.
Now extending the old money archetype into this, we can see Rahuvians embodying this shabby, nonconforming, rough-around-the-edges, transformative archetype who'll be on the opposite end. As Ketu symbolizes the past, ancestral roots, tradition, the old way of doing things; Rahu symbolizes the future, foreignness, pursuit, a new way of doing things.
Old money often means adhering to strict family rituals, customs, and expectations. There's an expectation for the wealthy to marry their own, maintaining a cultural practice that has existed for centuries, a theme of Ketu as it means to preserve the past. But Rahu comes in as a disruptor, changing rules that seemed absolute, causing more confusion and tension. Rahu often seeks unity, even with our all differences.
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Rahu and Ketu are always 180 degrees apart in a chart. This gives an understanding to how they're always on opposite sides of the same coin. So their union in these media examples often come with resistance and chaos.
The story of Romeo and Juliet is about a star-crossed love stuck in this push-&-pull between tradition and breaking free from tradition.
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Rahu is symbolized as the head of a dragon, while Ketu is the tail. Together they remain in this endless chase, their nature defined by longing and separation. Maria and Tony from A West Side Story mirrors this nodal dynamic, as it's based on the classic Romeo and Juliet. Just as the nodes themselves are forever trapped in opposition and in an eternal chase, these lovers remain trapped by their differences. Their love and lives are destined to be cut short, signifying the impossible union between the opposing nodes in these forbidden love stories.
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The tragic ending of Maria and Tony’s story reflects the inevitable nature of the nodes. In both Romeo and Juliet and A West Side Story, we see the power of love transcending societal barriers, yet this love is doomed by the very forces it seeks to overcome.
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Ashwini nakshatra literally has the strongest ties in Romeo & Juliet (list).
Another pair of this nodal influence (Ketu-Ketu), with this exact theme, is Mavis and Johnny from the animation Hotel Transylvania. Mavis is voiced by Ashwini Moon Selena Gomez, and Johnny is voiced by Magha Sun Andy Samberg. Mavis is a vampire and Johnny is a human. Their worlds should never have had a crossover to begin with. But Johnny, being Magha, feels a sense of belonging with these monsters and Mavis instead of fearing them (a nod to the Mula archetype and Beauty-&-the-Beast trope, which, as I've stated before, can also manifest itself as Ketu-Ketu instead of Ketu-Jupiter... much like Belle and Rumpelstiltskin from Once Upon A Time, Belle being played by Mula Sun Emilie de Ravin and Rumpelstiltskin portrayed by Ashwini Sun Robert Carlyle — the show's own Beauty & the Beast).
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Though light-hearted and comedic, their union was forbidden as monsters and humans should be kept apart to their own worlds due to past conflicts. Mavis' father, Dracula, goes to great lengths to separate the two, but then he realizes that their love is genuine and overcomes his prejudices.
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The theme of letting go touches on Ketu's tendency to sever ties, signifying the lesson of how temporary things are, including love. As Mars also rules Ashwini nakshatra, there can a theme of loss.
Connecting Orpheus to Ashwini, so much of this nakshatra's themes are highlighted in this Greek myth. Ketu is associated with nature, animal caretaking, and taming wild beasts. This is seen in Orpheus's ability to charm animals, move trees and rocks, and even change the course of rivers, through his music. Music has been known as a form of comfort and healing, and Orpheus' music is so powerful that it hypnotizes wild beasts, even influencing Hades, the ruler of the underworld.
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The mythological character loses the love of this life, Eurydice, and he is unable to accept her death. He becomes so desperate, filled with grief and fear, that he descends into the underworld to get Eurydice back. As Ashwini can be driven by selfishness, severance becomes a major lesson in their journey.
The musical film Black Orpheus (1959) is directed by Ashwini Sun, Magha ASC Marcel Camus, a black Brazilian retelling of the tale.
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In Jason & the Argonauts (2000), Ashwini Moon Adrian Lester portrays Orpheus. In the animation Hell and Back, *Ashwini Moon Danny McBride voices Orpheus. In 1960s The Giants of Thessaly, Massimo Girotti portrays Orpheus and he has Moon in Magha (trine nakshatra to Ashwini). This obvious connection of Ashwini to Orpheus takes me back to the ruling deities, the Ashwini Kumaras. Ashwini can be related to partnership, soulmates, connected minds. Here, there's a theme of inseparability yet the nature of the nakshatra forces severance. Back to the tale — With just the charm of his music, Orpheus is able to convince Hades to bring Eurydice back to life, only under the condition that Orpheus never looks back at her when they leave the underworld. Overwhelmed with so much love, he's unable to help himself, as he fails and looks back at her as they neared the exit. This is how Orpheus loses Eurydice forever.
Similar to Orpheus, the Twelfth Doctor from Doctor Who spirals into madness and desperation after the death of his close companion, Clara Oswald. The Twelfth Doctor is played by Ashwini Sun native Peter Capaldi. His Aries relentlessness and selfishness has him breaking the laws of time to bring her back, just like Orpheus breaks the natural order of life to get Eurydice back.
Clara Oswald is interestingly nodal herself, being played by Ashwini native Jenna Coleman.
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His journey through grief and his refusal to let her go mirrors Orpheus's determination to challenge the natural order of life for love. In the end, Twelve's memories of Clara get wiped out when he is forced to sever ties with her. Clara remains dead and so does Eurydice. This makes these pairs star-crossed, as Ketu reminds us of the inevitability of loss and separation. With Mars there, it makes it an obvious theme with Ashwini nakshatra.
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Orpheus tried to get Eurydice back after her death by seeking the realm of the dead as a mortal being. He finds the cave that led to Hades and slowly descended into the Underworld. He sang to Cerberus, a terrifying, three-headed monstrous watchdog, able to tame and charm the beast so that he enters. This theme of entering portals to other worlds and dimensions tends to be associated with Ketu, and I find it interesting that I am particularly seeing the magic within Ashwini nakshatra.
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In the 2008 film Jumper, Ashwini Sun Hayden Christensen plays a young man who can teleport himself anywhere and everywhere due to a genetic anomaly.
It is interesting that Ketu nakshatras also have this otherworldliness quality to them which is seen in having access to portals or dissociating into other realms. Although I have already explored this theme within the context of Anuradha nakshatra, there is still an undeniable nodal influence to it as I see these nakshatras frequently pop up in this genre of film.
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Magha Sun Amy Adams' character in Enchanted falls into a well which is a portal to another world. In Alice in Wonderland (2010), Magha Moon and Swati Sun native Mia Wasikowska's character also falls into a portal to another world.
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In the animation Caroline, Ashwini ASC and Shatabhisha Sun native Dakota Fanning voices a girl who finds a portal to another world. In 1953's Peter Pan, Ardra Sun Kathryn Beaumont voices Wendy who is taken to another magical world called Neverland by a boy named Peter Pan who's voiced by Shatabhisha Sun Bobby Driscoll. In 2003's Peter Pan live-action movie, Wendy is played by Ardra Moon Rachel Hurd-Wood, taken into this whole other reality of magic and wonder. In Hook (1991), adult Peter Pan is portrayed by Shatabhisha Moon and Swati ASC Robert Williams, the character a middle-aged lawyer from the modern world who returns to his magical origins. In the Korean drama Spice Up Our Love, Ashwini Moon Han Ji-hyun's character wakes up as the protagonist of the web novel she wrote. In the Korean drama W: Two Worlds Apart, Shatabhisha Sun Han Hyo-Joo gets sucked into a webtoon written by her father. There she falls in love with the protagonist who is played by Shatabhisha Moon Lee Jong-Suk, who gets gets sucked into her reality as well. In the Chinese drama Love Game in Eastern Fantasy, Mula Sun Esther Yu gets sucked into a video game novel as a supporting character. In The Wizard of Oz, Mula Moon and Ardra ASC Judy Garland plays a Kansas farm girl who is taken away in a tornado and ends up in the magical Land of Oz. In the series Emerald City, Ashwini Sun Adria Arjona is a Kansas nurse who is transported by a tornado to the Land of Oz. In the film Oz: The Great & Powerful, Ashwini Sun James Franco is a magician who is hurled away from Kansas into the wonderful land of Oz.
As Rahu is associated with illusions and exploring the foreign, we see this theme of escaping into simulations and dreamy worlds which one becomes absorbed in. This has been explored deeper within Swati nakshatra, which combines the arts and illusory tendencies of Rahu together.
The influence of the nodes often transcends the physical realm, embodying forces of spirituality, illusion and transformation together. But they both manifest differently in this theme. Rahu becomes absorbed in illusions (in form of the arts, simulations, imagination (ex. Peter Pan being the boy who is attached to Neverland because he never grows up — Neverland is an illusory place only found in the minds of children, this highlighting his attachment to illusions)); while Ketu tends to escape the material plane altogether, yearning transcendence and passing by realms to seek meaning and lessons.
In the film Meet Joe Black, Mula Sun Brad Pitt plays an otherworldly being who takes over the body of a man to experience Earth and be guided in the teachings & meaning of life. His very existence quite literally transcends time and space, which I relate to Ketu, as he is a mystery himself.
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He is innately detached from human concerns like time, societal expectations, and permanence. But he falls in love with a human named Susan, who is also nodal-ruled, and his nature makes their connection doomed from the start. Susan is played by Mula Sun, Mula Moon native Claire Forlani. This making for another star-crossed pair because he can never fully participate in human life.
Going into the body-swapping trope, this calls to Rahu's desire to navigate a foreign perspective while Ketu seeks to transcend its rigid reality.
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In the film Hot Chick (2002), Swati ASC Rachel McAdams plays a teenage girl who wakes up in the body of a 30-year-old male criminal played by Swati Sun and Ashwini Moon native Rob Schneider. In 1989's film Dream a Little Dream, an accident puts the consciousness of an elderly dream researcher played by Magha Moon Jason Robards into the body of a bratty teenager who is played by Mula Sun and Shatabhisha Moon native Corey Haim. Many more examples often include a Saturn nakshatra native as well, which I found very interesting. Hopefully I'll be circling back to that one day!
Rahu is thriving on the chaos of this trope since an entirely new identity is being explored (and lessons are learned as the social difference in one's gender, class, and even age tends to be highlighted for the ignorant one (Rahu essentially refining the native through this experience)).
The interaction of the nodes drive each other to a deeper understanding of life's illusions as it signifies letting go and refining oneself. In this little exploration, I got to understand that Ashwini is a romantic nakshatra which deals with loss and forced detachment due to Ketu. While Rahu nakshatras tend to be more romantic and igniting conflict in their pursuit of a love that's not right according to societal standards. This solidifies the image of the eternal chase of the dragon representing desire and detachment.
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soular-sisters · 8 months ago
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The most common celebrity/fame Astrology placements ✨🤩📸
The glitz, the glamour, the endless number of fans that seem to be mesmerized by them… have you ever notice how a lot of famous individuals have a certain grab and magnetism about them? Well, they might have more in common astrologically than you thought. Without further ado, here are some of the most common traits you will find in famous individual’s natal charts:
1. Pronounced Leo and Cancer placements in personal planets, especially sun, moon, and ascendant.
In the world of Hollywood, Leo energy is prevalent with countless Leo suns in the industry including: Demi Lovato, Steve Carell, Robert De Niro, Kylie Jenner, Daniel Radcliffe, and Madonna just to name a few. Cancer energy also runs strongly, with cancer sun celebrities also finding major success such as:
*Lana Del Rey (a Cancer sun with a Leo Moon, Scorpio Ascendant, Leo midheaven and Venus conjunct her north node)
*Ringo Starr (another cancer with a Leo moon)
*Margot Robbie (a cancer sun with a Taurus Midheaven & Aquarius north node)
Cancer & Leo personal planets can be found in a wide range of celebrities including:
*Dua Lipa (a Leo sun/Cancer Moon)
*Taylor Swift (a Sagittarius sun/Cancer moon)
*Micheal B. Jordan (an Aquarius sun/Cancer Moon)
*Drake (a Scorpio sun/cancer moon/Leo ascendant)
*Julia Roberts (Scorpio Sun/Leo Moon)
*Megan Fox (Taurus Sun/Leo Moon)
*Paul McCartney (Gemini Sun/Leo Moon)
*Bruno Mars (a Libra sun/Leo moon)
*Blake Lively (a Virgo sun/Leo ascendant, with plenty of positive sun aspects including sun conjunct her natal Mars, venus, and Mercury, & also sun trine her Jupiter)
There are many more celebrities who have these similar placements.
2. Prominent north node aspects or favorable house placement.
The North Node shows our Karmic Destiny. Certain placements show where an individual might see fame more than others, including the 1st, 5th, 10th, and 11th houses. Some celebrities that have these placements include:
1st house of identity:
*Martin Luther King Jr. (North Node in Taurus: who showed fearlessness in the face of racism to unite the people)
*Amy Winehouse (North Node in Gemini: who’s songs about her life have remained popular long after her untimely death)
*Megan The Dutchess of Sussex (Leo sun/Cancer Ascendant with North Node in Leo: who is one of the most famous women in the world now whether you like her or not)
*James Dean (North Node in Aries: who’s image as a bad boy heartthrob has been solidified in history long after his untimely death)
5th house of creativity, children, and happiness:
*Angelina Jolie (who is also cancer Venus and Ascendant at 28°, has her North Node in Sagittarius. She is a talented actress that has also traveled the world and made it her mission to help and adopt children)
*Selena Gomez (who is also Leo Ascendant, with moon & part of fortune conjunct her Taurus midheaven, has her North Node in Capricorn, and is also a talented actress, who due to her illness cannot have children. Unfortunately, the planet of Saturn, Capricorns ruler, may deny children entirely, or only bring very few)
*Christiano Ronaldo (who is also Leo moon, has his North Node in Taurus, he has had a stable career playing soccer, known as a heartthrob with the Venus energy, and also the father to five children)
10th house of public image:
*Donald Trump (who is also Leo ascendant & Taurus Midheaven, with sun & Uranus conjunct his North Node in Gemini, he has captivated audiences on a global scale with his words and with Sun and Uranus being opposite planets conjunct his north node, he is extremely polarizing with his supporters absolutely loving him and his opposers absolutely hating him)
*Beyoncé (who is Mars conjunct her Leo North Node in the 10th house. Beyoncé is also known on a global scale and the amount of time and energy she puts into her craft is very evident, she also carries herself with a mars-esque energy in her public persona.)
*Britney Spears (with her North Node in Cancer. While she is extremely talented, her career has had a lot of exploitation of her and her assets and made her a victim in the public eye)
11th house of social circles aspirations and collaboration:
*Lady Gaga (who has her North Node in Taurus, which rules the voice, has famously collaborated on singing projects with other creatives including Tony Bennett, and Bradley Cooper)
*Robert Downey Jr. (who has his North Node in Gemini has famously gotten himself into heaps of mischeif when he was younger turned his life around when he associated himself with Marvel and propelled himself further into stardom, eventually getting his Oscar winning role in Oppenheimer)
*Ariana Grande (who has her North node in Sagittarius. In Jennette McCurdy’s book “I’m Glad My Mom Died” she recalled being jealous of how lucky Ariana was for all the opportunities that were being granted to her though her association to higher ups at Nickelodeon)
3. 1st house planets, 5th house planets, 10th house planets, and 11th house planets (especially Sun, Jupiter, Neptune, and Venus)
House placements are always important to check when looking at a natal chart and this area is no different. We see many of the same placements among famous individuals such as:
*Blake Lively (who has a first house stellium consisting of her sun, mercury and Venus, and a fifth house stellium with Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune)
*Paul Rudd (who has a fifth house stellium with Neptune, moon and mars, and a 10th house stellium with his Mercury, sun, Venus, and Saturn)
*Vanessa Hudgens (who is also Leo ASC & Taurus MC also has a fifth house stellium with her sun, Uranus, Neptune, Saturn, and Mercury)
*Kim Kardashian (sun and mercury fall into her 11th house and she has a 10th house stellium consisting of Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn. She also has Neptune in her first house which is another popular fame placement that is also seen in Marilyn Monroe) A stellium is not needed in these houses either.
*Rihanna (her sun & mercury is in the 11th house with her Jupiter in the first house and though her moon & Venus fall in the 12th house, they do conjunct her ascendant)
4. Having a fixed midheaven: Scorpio, Taurus, Aquarius, Leo
The midheaven shows where the most ideal career placement for an individual. Usually fame can been seen amongst fixed midheaven placements. Some examples include: Taurus MC:
*Margot Robbie
*Timothée Chalamet
*Emma Stone
*Vanessa Hudgens
*Miranda Kerr
*Nick Jonas
*Justin Timberlake
Leo MC:
*Harry Styles
*Daniel Craig
*James Gandolfini
*Chevy Chase
*Robin Williams
*Nicole Kidman
*Jim Carrey
*Aretha Franklin
Scorpio MC:
*Hilary Duff
*Zendaya
*Jane Fonda
*Johnny Knoxville
*Barack Obama
*Willem Defoe
*Carrie Fisher
Aquarius MC:
*Miley Cyrus
*Pamela Anderson
*Will Smith
*Drew Barrymore
*Gordon Ramsay
*Tim Burton
*John Krasinski
5. Having personal planets at 5°, 17°, or 29° as they are degrees ruled by Leo.
In degree theory, these degrees are ruled by Leo and can also be seen as a common placement among many different famous individuals including:
*J.P. Morgan (successful banking mogul, who actually used astrology in his personal life, had his Taurus mercury at 29° and he once famously said, “Millionaires don’t use astrology, billionaires do.”)
*Post Malone (also has his Gemini Venus at 29°, and he has made his career diverse in various genres and has been extremely loved wherever he goes)
*Morgan Wallen (has his Aquarius moon at 29°, and his 5° Libra Jupiter conjunct his Midheaven)
*Steven Tyler (who has his Aries Sun at 5°. He has amassed many fans among his decades long career)
*Jim Carrey (who has both his Gemini moon at 17° and his Capricorn mars at 17°, once wrote himself a check for a million dollars before he became famous to manifest his future as a successful actor and around a year later found himself with major roles)
*Loretta Lynn (the iconic “Coal Miners Daughter” singer has her Aries Mercury at 17°, and her songs have stood the test of time)
6. Having personal planets at 28° ruled by cancer. Makes an individual a “household name”
Cancer rules the home, so it goes hand in hand with creating a household name among 28° holders. A few examples include:
*A$AP Rocky (who has his Leo Venus at 28° is famously known for his music and style)
*Miley Cyrus (who is 28° Taurus ascendant is definitely a household name and made her way into homes being a child actress and singer)
*Rihanna (has her Sagittarius mars in 28° as well, and she has had a fruitful career full of energy that she has put forward to become a self-made billionaire before 40)
7. Strong 11th house energy
The 11th house in astrology is the realm of Aquarius. Think of these individuals being innovators, and different. 11th house energy is commonly seen in famous individuals including:
*Johnny Depp (world famous actor has his Gemini sun in 11)
*Beyoncé (billionaire and one of the biggest singers in the world also has her sun in the 11th)
*Angelina Jolie (renowned actress and philanthropist has her Gemini sun and Mercury in the 11th house)
*Rihanna (another one of the biggest singers in the world has her Pisces sun and Aquarius Mercury in the 11th house)
*Lady Gaga (has her Aries sun, Aries venus, and Taurus north node in the 11th house)
*Kim Kardashian (A-list reality television star, model and business woman, has her Libra sun, and Scorpio mercury in her 11th house)
*Zayn Malik (another one of the biggest boy band & solo singers in the world has his Capricorn sun, nept, Uranus, and Mercury in the 11th house)
8. Prominent Jupiter Aspects
Jupiter the planet of luck, optimism and abundance having prominent energy in the natal chart can have a “lucky” influence on a famous individual, a few examples include:
*Elizabeth Taylor (world famous actress has natal, Jupiter trine ascendant, Jupiter trine Uranus, Venus trine Jupiter)
*Quentin Tarantino (talented movie director has natal Sun conjunct Jupiter, Mercury conjunct Jupiter, and Jupiter trine North node)
*Zendaya. (world famous actress, singer, and model has natal sun trine Jupiter, moon trine Jupiter)
*Samuel L. Jackson (another one of the most famous actors in the world has natal sun conjunct Jupiter, moon trine Jupiter, Jupiter trine Saturn, and Mercury conjunct Jupiter)
9. Aspects made to the ascendant and/or midheaven.
Our ascendant (how we portray ourselves) and our midheavens (career placement) having plentiful aspects can be seen in a wide range of well known celebrities in both old Hollywood and in recent time. Here are a few examples:
*Jayne Mansfield (one of the biggest sex symbols of her era before her untimely death had, North node trine ascendant, Neptune sextile ascendant, mars sextile ascendant, ascendant trine Midheaven)
*John Wayne (world renowned western actor, was a natal holder of, Mercury conjunct ascendant, sun conjunct ascendant, ascendant trine midheaven, sun trine midheaven, Mercury trine midheaven)
*Judy Garland (who played Dorothy in Wizard of Oz, had ascendant trine midheaven, moon sextile midheaven, mercury conjunct ascendant, Mercury trine midheaven)
10. Positive mars & Jupiter aspects
Mars the planet of action in a harmonious aspect with Jupiter the planet of luck, abundance and optimism can bring lucky opportunities with action and can be seen in famous individuals such as:
mars conjunct Jupiter:
*Ariel Winter
*Channing Tatum
*Lily Collins
*Ludacris
mars trine Jupiter:
*MGK
*Rachel McAdams
*Heath Ledger
*Joaquin Phoenix
mars sextile Jupiter:
*Nicki Minaj
*Emma Stone
*Bella Thorne
*Reese Witherspoon
11. Natal Midheaven conjunct north node.
Our career placement, the Midheaven, in conjunction with our North node, karmic destiny can be seen in quite a few famous individuals including:
*Jared Leto (We the Kings singer and actor has his conjunction in Aquarius)
*Jaden Smith (actor, rapper, and nepo baby has his conjunction in Virgo) *Donald Glover/Childish Gambino (actor, writer, rapper and producer has his conjunction in Gemini)
*Meryl Streep (world famous actress has her conjunction in Aries)
*Mike Tyson (world famous boxer has his conjunction in Taurus)
12. Gemini energy is very common amongst rappers.
Gemini energy is extremely prominent amongst rappers, for the sake of keeping this example shorter I will just be using sun sign Gemini’s. The list of sun sign Geminis:
*Kendrick Lamar
*Sage the Gemini
*Fetty Wap
*Ice Cube
*Kanye West
*Tupac Shakur
*Notorious B.I.G.
*Trippie Redd
*Kodak Black
*Takeoff
*G-Eazy
*Don Toliver
*Azaelia Banks
*Macklemore
*Swae Lee
13. A 10th & 11th house conjunction. If two planets are conjunct but fall into the 10th house of public image and the 11th house of friends/friend groups.
Both of these houses are major players when it comes to our public life. A few examples of these placements are:
*Kim Kardashian (sun in 11 is conjunct her Pluto in 10th)
*Eminem (sun in 11 is conjunct his 10th house Uranus)
*Nicki Minaj (her 10th house sun conjunct her 11th house Venus)
*Marilyn Monroe (11th house sun conjunct her 10th house Mercury)
14. Having prominent Mercury aspects.
Mercury is the planet of communication and self expression. Having mercury aspects are common amongst famous individuals as well including:
*Stephen King (who has had an extremely long career with countless dark books written and movies made, has natal Mercury sextile Pluto & Mercury conjunct Neptune, and Mercury sextile Saturn)
*Drake (has natal Mercury conjunct Venus, common amongst musicians and actors)
*Beyoncé (has her natal Mercury sextile North Node, Mercury sextile mars, and Mercury conjunct Saturn, and her songs have been listened to around the world countless times)
*Justin Bieber (who unfortunately has had a lot of hardships explaining himself and expressing his truths has Mercury square North Node, Mercury square ascendant, and Mercury square Pluto)
*Liam Neeson (the world famous actor has his natal sun conjunct Mercury, Mercury conjunct Venus and moon opposite Mercury)
Research Disclaimer:
All research was conducted by Arielle in April & May 2024. This is all information found by her own research. There are definitely more celebrities that fall under these categories not listed. There is more room to further research this topic.
-AH
IG: @starlit.artistry
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greengoblinswifey · 1 month ago
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hey, babes! can you make fratboy!nick but a theater/movie geek please i’m begging. i’m talking like him spewing facts, giving commentary, theories, minor details, and he even wants to recreate an iconic love scene with you. like the pottery scene from ghost it would eat down so hard. that’s if you’re up for it!
Fratboy!Nicholas Chavez x Fem!Reader
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warnings— nicholas being a cutie, fluff, L bombs, unprotected sex, praise kink, creampie.
a/n— i love this, def need more fratboy!nicholas requests����hope you enjoy <3
︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿
Nicholas led you upstairs to his room at his parents’ house for the first time, his hand wrapped around yours, his grin wide as he opened the door. “Okay, don’t judge me,” he said, stepping aside to let you in.
The room was big and full of character. Shelves lined the walls, filled with DVDs, Blu-rays, and vintage cassettes, alongside stacks of theater playbills. A massive movie poster for Titanic hung above his bed, while smaller posters for Scream and Beetle Juice were tacked up on the other walls.
Your eyes widened as you ran your fingers over the spines of the cassettes. “Nick, you have so many movies. This is crazy.”
“It’s a collection, not just movies,” he corrected with a playful smirk, leaning against the doorframe. “I’ve got everything. Horror, romance, thrillers, musicals, you name it. This right here is a lifetime of excellent taste.”
You laughed, pulling out a cassette with a faded cover. “Pretty Woman? Really?”
“Are you kidding me?” He stepped forward, taking it from your hand and holding it like it was precious. “This movie is a masterpiece. Julia Roberts practically redefined what a rom com could be. The jewelry box scene? Improvised. That’s the kind of magic you can’t plan.”
“You’re such a geek baby,” you teased, putting the cassette back.
“And proud of it,” he said, grinning as he reached for a DVD case. “This? The Notebook. I dare anyone to watch Noah and Allie kiss in the rain and not believe in love.”
“You’re serious about all of this, huh?”
“Dead serious,” he said, his voice softening. “Movies and theater are everything to me. They’re not just entertainment, they’re moments. Like, take Phantom of the Opera. The chandelier crashing, the Phantom singing Music of the Night, it’s pure, raw emotion. And horror? Don’t even get me started on Halloween. That single shot of Michael Myers standing behind Laurie Strode? Chills. Every time.”
You couldn’t help but smile as you traced your fingers over another row of his horror DVDs. “Do you ever stop thinking about this stuff?”
“Nope,” he said, unapologetic. “And I’ll die on this hill, Dirty Dancing is the greatest romance of all time. That final lift? Cinema history babe.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “You’re so over the top, Nick.”
He grinned and took your hand, tugging you toward a small box beneath his bed. “If you think that’s over the top, wait till you see this.” Inside the box were old theater programs and ticket stubs. “This is everything I’ve been to, plays, musicals, even little community theater stuff. My first was The Lion King on Broadway. I was like ten, and when Mufasa appeared in the stars? I cried like a baby.”
You leaned against him, flipping through the programs. “It’s kind of adorable how passionate you are about this.”
“Adorable?” He raised an eyebrow. “I’ll take it. But, for the record, I’m also very serious about recreating iconic movie scenes. You, me, and a pottery wheel? Ghost style. It’s happening.”
“Oh my god,” you said, laughing. “You’re obsessed with that scene.”
“Because it’s perfect!” he said, his hands flying. “It’s intimate, romantic, and ridiculously sexy. Tell me you wouldn’t want to try it.”
You raised an eyebrow. “You don’t even own a pottery wheel, baby.”
“Not the point,” he said, taking your hand. “Come with me.”
The two of you ended up in his parents’ basement, where a table was covered with an old sheet, and a small hunk of clay sat in the center. Nicholas grinned as he set up a Bluetooth speaker, scrolling through his phone. “If we’re doing this, we’re doing it right.”
A moment later, Unchained Melody began to play.
“Nick,” you said, laughing as he dragged a stool over. “You planned this?”
“Of course,” he said, motioning for you to sit in front of the clay. “This is the ultimate love scene. Come on.”
You sat down, shaking your head as he moved behind you, his arms slipping around your waist to guide your hands to the clay. His touch was warm, his breath brushing against your ear as he whispered, “Relax. Just follow my lead.”
Your boyfriend’s arms stayed wrapped around you as he guided your hands over the clay, his voice low and playful. “You know this is how it starts in Ghost.”
You laughed softly, turning your head slightly to look at him. “Are you going to start quoting it?”
“Oh, absolutely.” He grinned, leaning in to nuzzle your neck before his voice dropped into a soft, dramatic tone. “‘It’s amazing, Molly. The love inside, you take it with you.’”
You rolled your eyes, giggling. “You’re so corny.”
“And yet,” he whispered, his lips brushing against your ear, “you’re still here. You love me.”
He wasn’t wrong. His warmth pressed against your back, his hands still covering yours as the clay spun beneath your fingers. The intimacy of the moment, coupled with the deep sound of his voice and the soft strains of Unchained Melody playing in the background, sent a shiver through you.
Nicholas noticed. “Cold?” he asked teasingly, his lips moving to the curve of your shoulder.
You shook your head, your voice barely above a whisper. “No.”
“Good,” he murmured, his hands leaving the clay to slide down to your waist. He turned you slightly on the stool, his gaze locking with yours. His brown eyes were soft, holding the weight of the moment.
“You’re not even paying attention to the clay anymore,” you teased, your voice shaky as his hands rested firmly on your hips.
“That’s because I’m paying attention to you,” he said, leaning in closer. His lips found yours, gentle at first, before deepening the kiss. His fingers went to your sides, pulling you closer as he whispered, “You’re so beautiful.”
You couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at your lips as he kissed you again, his passion matching the way his hands explored your waist and ass.
“Nick,” you moaned when his lips trailed back to your neck, planting soft kisses along your skin.
“Mm?” he hummed against you, his voice warm and teasing.
“This isn’t exactly like Ghost anymore,” you said, laughing softly as your hands tangled in his hair.
“Better,” he murmured, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes. His lips quirked into a mischievous grin. “Way better.”
His lips found yours again, soft, as he cupped your face. The clay on your hands was forgotten, smudges left on both of you, but neither of you cared. The air around you felt hot, the faint strains of Unchained Melody still playing in the background.
“Are you okay with this?” Nicholas whispered, his forehead resting against yours, his breath warm against your lips.
You nodded, your hands sliding up to his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your fingertips. “I’m okay baby,” you said softly.
“Tell me if you’re not,” he murmured, brushing a strand of your braids behind your ear. His hands lingered on your waist, his thumbs stroking gentle circles.
“I will, baby,” you assured him, your voice steady, though your pulse raced.
“I love you,” he said, the sincerity in his voice making you feel like the only person in the world.
Your cheeks warmed as his hands moved from your waist to grab your ass guiding you closer. His kisses deepened, slow and steady, leaving no doubt about how much he wanted you.
His lips found their way to your neck again, pressing gentle kisses along your skin. “You’re perfect,” he whispered against you, his voice thick with emotion.
Your hands slid to his shoulders, feeling the strength there as he leaned into you. “Nick,” you whispered, his name slipping out like a prayer.
“Yes, baby?” he murmured, pulling back just enough to look into your eyes, his thumb brushing against your cheek.
“I want you so bad. Please fuck me,” you admitted, feeling a shiver run down your spine as his gaze softened further.
“God, you’re so beautiful when you’re needy like this,” he said, his lips curling into a small smile before kissing you again, his hands caressing your ass.
He stood, lifting you effortlessly in his arms. “Come with me,” he said softly, carrying you toward the couch in the basement. He sat down, pulling you gently onto his lap, your legs straddling him.
“You’re so beautiful my love,” he whispered, his hands sliding up to cup your face again. “I want to make you feel good. Tell me if I’m doing too much, okay?”
You nodded, your fingers tangling in his hair as you leaned in to kiss him. “I trust you baby, you know that,” you said softly, feeling his hands settle on your hips.
He groaned softly, his head falling back as you pressed kisses along his jawline. “You’re driving me crazy, you know that?” he murmured, his hands squeezing your waist.
Your laughter was soft as you leaned back to look at him. “Good,” you teased, feeling more confident under his gaze.
“You’re the most perfect girlfriend ever,” he said again, his voice full of awe as his hands roamed your back, pulling you closer. “You feel so good in my arms.”
Nicholas moaned as you straddled him, your short dress riding up your thighs as you settled onto his lap. His hands slid up, gripping your hips, his breath already coming in shallow gasps. “You’re going to kill me,” he whispered, his lips brushing against yours.
“You’ll survive,” you teased, your fingers slipping into his sweats to pull out his hard and leaking cock.
When your hands touched his cock, he hissed softly, his hands gripping your hips. His fingers moved to the hem of your dress, hiking it higher as his dark eyes met yours. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”
You smiled, leaning in close enough for your lips to brush his ear. “Why don’t you show me?”
His breath hitched as he slid your thong to the side, his movements hurried yet careful. He reached down to position his cock, his jaw tightening as you took him and guided him to your entrance. The stretch was slow and deliberate as you sank down onto him, both of you moaning softly at the sensation.
“We don’t have much time before my parents get back,” he murmured, his voice thick with urgency, his hands gripping your waist.
“Then we’d better make it count,” you said with a sly smile, rolling your hips and eliciting a low, guttural moan from him.
You began to move, bouncing on his cock, your hands braced on his shoulders before one slid to wrap around his neck. His head fell back, his hands sliding to grip your ass as you picked up the pace. “Y-you feel better than Heaven,” he gasped, his words breaking apart as his hips bucked instinctively.
“Just sit there and take it,” you whispered, your tone dripping with authority as you ground your hips against him.
“Yes, ma’am,” he moaned, his hands squeezing you tighter. “Anything you say.”
His praises spilled from his lips between moans, his eyes locked on you as though he couldn’t get enough. “You’re so perfect, so beautiful. I can’t get over how good you feel.”
You smirked, leaning forward to press a kiss to his jawline. “You’re doing so well for me, baby,” you murmured, your voice sending shivers through him.
His breathing grew more ragged, his grip on you desperate. “I— I’m close," he stuttered, his head falling forward to rest against your shoulder. “Please, baby. I’ve been your good boy. Please let me cum.”
His tone made your heart race as your own orgasm began to build. “Cum with me,” you urged, your voice soft but commanding as you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer.
When your climax hit, it felt like a wave crashing over you, leaving you breathless and moaning. Nicholas followed moments later, his body tensing beneath you as he moaned your name and his cum exploded inside you, his face buried in your neck.
“I love you,” you whispered against his skin.
“I love you more,” he replied, his voice low but sure as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder.
Before either of you could fully recover, you heard the unmistakable sound of a car pulling into the driveway. “Oh shit,” you breathed, glancing toward the window.
Nicholas’ eyes widened, and he helped you scramble off his lap, both of you moving quickly to adjust your clothes. He pulled you into a quick kiss, his smile soft and adoring despite the rush. “You’re amazing,” he whispered before stepping back to make himself presentable.
By the time his parents walked through the door, the two of you were seated on the couch upstairs, your hands intertwined and matching smiles on your faces as though nothing had happened.
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libraryofloveletters · 9 months ago
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Portugal Pretenders
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Virgil Van Dijk x Fem!Reader
Warnings: fake dating, the boys love to tease virg, past players make an appearance, takes place at robbo's wedding (I just made up random dates, forgive me if it's not accurate lmao), begging for a favour, wedding softness, some teasing, alcohol and the consumption of, a few awkward moments, julia and thiago are their biggest fans, some nsfw humour, virg doesn't know how to use an iron, some childishness at the end, all around sweetness.
Word Count: 7.9k
Author's Note: okay, I've come back to bring you all a new virg fic, since you've been living in my inbox, asking for it. hopefully you like it as much as I do.
---
"And this one's for you," Andy says, passing the light green envelope over to Virgil, catching his friend on his way out. "You've got a plus one, make sure you bring that girlfriend of yours you're always talking about."
Virgil nods, a smile on his face as he takes the invite from Andy. The panic fills his head, slowly moving down to his chest as he walks out of the training centre.
Andy's wedding was coming up in a few weeks. The boys have known about it for months, and as much as Andy insisted to Rachel that they don't need actual invites, she still sent them with her husband to be.
The defender finds himself driving home, thinking about how on earth he was going to find someone to join him at this wedding.
See, the thing was, the boys thought he was seeing something. That wasn't a total lie, as he was seeing someone but it ended as quickly as it started. He wasn't sure how to tell his friends that it was over and it spiralled, coming up with random details to tell them every time they asked about this non-existent girlfriend.
He didn't think Andy would go as far as giving him a plus one.
Virgil pulls into the driveway, opening the envelope as he reads the invite.
Celebrating the marriage of Andy Robertson and Rachel Roberts.
Rehearsal Dinner: July 2nd, 2022 at 7pm
Wedding Ceremony: July 3rd, 2022 at 3pm - Evening Reception to follow.
Join us in Faro, Portugal!
The rest of the details were on the back of the card, the invite was white with green accents to match the envelope. Must be their theme, he thinks, making a mental note to see if he has anything green to match.
He gets out of the car, putting the envelope in his pocket when he sees his neighbour, y/n, pulling into her driveway. He waves to her, the woman smiles at him as she pops her trunk open, a million bags waiting to be taken into the house.
"Need some help?" He offers, crossing the lawn to her driveway.
You smile, nodding. "Sure. Thank you, Virgil."
Virgil starts taking the bags out of the trunk, carrying them over to the front door as you unlock it. "I'm surprised you're home so early." He says.
"Keeping tabs on me?"
"No," he shakes his head, cheeks red. "I meant.. I usually see you come in late."
"Closed the clinic early today, we've got a staff party tomorrow, hence.." You gestured to the bags. Virgil nods, helping her carry them into her kitchen.
The two of you were on friendly terms, Virgil often helped you out around the house if you were busy. Despite being a footballer, he tended to take care of the yard work and you stopped by to make sure were in order at his place if he was away for a match or pre season training.
"How about a cup of tea?" You offered and he smiled, "you sure? I don't want to be a bother."
"Not a bother at all, make yourself at home. It's the least I could do to thank you for your help."
"It wasn't much help, I only carried the bags to the kitchen." He chuckles, sitting on a stool by the counter.
You shrugged, "still. It would have taken me like, 12 trips to get all of them, you used your big footballer muscles and did it in one."
Virgil smiles, watching as you filled the kettle with water and took two mugs out of the cupboard across from him; one with little flowers along the rim of it and the other a red mug Liverpool logo on the front.
"Surprised you have that," he says, you drop the teabags into the mug. "What? This?" You nodded to the red mug. "It'd just be wrong not to support the local team." You two laughed, you referred to Liverpool as if it was a rec league team.
You two are there in silence, you leaned on the counter as you stood across from the footballer. The man looked around while you looked at him, counting to yourself quietly. Once Virgil hears your whispers, he looks over at you with furrowed brows.
"What are you counting?"
"Your wrinkles," you say nonchalantly, pointing to his forehead as you count each one. Virgil rolls his eyes playfully, swatting your hand away. "You okay?"
He nods. "Yeah."
"You sure? I mean, you usually can't see the wrinkles on that big forehead on yours. So unless you've aged drastically since I've last seen you, I'd say you're worried about something."
"Is that your official diagnosis, Dr. L/n?"
"Yup," you nodded, smiling at him as you crossed your arms over your chest. "100%, now tell me, what's on your mind?"
"Well," he sighs as he starts. "I was invited to a wedding today."
"And? Is it for an ex or some cousin you hate?"
"No, nothing like that. It's actually Andy, you know, Robbo?"
You nodded, shutting the stove off when the kettle begans whistling. "He finally put a ring on Rachel? Good for them, tell them congratulations for me."
Virgil smiles, "I will."
"Wait, so if it's for Andy, what's the problem? I thought you two were good friends."
Virgil makes a face, wondering if he should really tell you what's bothering him. "We are, I uh.. I need a date for a wedding."
You laughed, "that's what's worrying you? C'mon Virgil, you're a footballer. You're handsome, you're young..ish- regardless, it shouldn't be too hard for you to get a date."
He rolls his eyes at your comment, "yeah well, easier said than done. Especially since I've - never mind."
"Oh no," you turn to face him after pouring the water into the mugs. "You're not going to leave me hanging like that! What, since you've..?
"Since I've been telling the guys I have a girlfriend. That's why Andy gave me a plus one, I really thought he wouldn't do that."
Your brows furrowed, you were beyond confused now. "Okay, you've officially lost me. You're nervous to ask her to be your date? Or - oh my god! Is she a married woman, Virgil?!"
"No!" He laughed, shaking his head at your outrageous suggestion. "I'd never date a married woman, in fact, I'm not dating anyone."
You were getting the milk from the fridge when what he said finally processed. You turn to face the man, "so wait, let me see if I got this right. You've been telling them you're seeing someone but you're not actually seeing anyone?" You say, looking for some clarification. Virgil nods, avoiding your gaze.
"Why would you lie to them?"
"I really didn't mean too! It wasn't a lie in the beginning. I was seeing this girl, she was cool but we didn't want the same things so it just sort of.. ended? They kept asking and I don't know why I didn't want to tell them the truth but I wasn't sure what to say so I played along and now, well, you know where I've ended up."
You sigh, unsure what to tell him. You didn't even think there was advice to help someone who's gotten themselves into such a position.
"That's a messed up thing you're in, dude." You added the milk to his mug, handing him the one with the flowers. Virgil nods, stirring the spoon in the mug.
"Do you have sugar?"
"Mhm hm," you turned, reaching up into the cupboard to get the sugar from the middle shelf.
Virgil watched, admiring you; not only on a surface level but deeper than that. He likes spending time with you, even if it was something as simple as a chat across the lawn. You were beautiful and kind, funny and smart, your humour was witty and you were charming. You could talk yourself out of a crime if need be - you were exactly who he was looking for.
Seems his lies have sent him in your direction; imagine if he hadn't helped you take your bags in today.
You turned to him with the sugar, you could feel him staring at you but he was sitting there, elbow on the counter with his chin resting in the palm of his hand as he smiled at you.
"What?"
"Will you be my date to the wedding?" He asks and you laugh, taking the top off the sugar jar.
"You're not serious."
"I am, what are you doing in 3 weeks?"
"Probably work, but I can't be your date, virgil."
He pouts, much like a child when they're told no. "Why not?"
"How would that work?"
"It's fine, I'll handle everything y/n. You just need to pack your bags and get the time off work. Hotels, flights, everything we need there, I'll take care of."
"Wait, the wedding isn't here?"
"Portugal," he says, doesn't miss the slight raise of your eyebrows.
"I've always said I'd go back to Portugal, even if it's just for a short time."
"See," Virgil says, "it's like my lying led us here, this can be a good thing for both of us. I'll have a girlfriend for the weekend and you get to visit Portugal again."
You can't help but laugh at his justification. "Please," he says, "I'm begging you now. I'll own you big time." His hands clasped together under his chin as he looked at you with big, brown, puppy eyes.
"Like season passes to your box at Anfield big time?" You asked, a raised eyebrow. Virgil laughs, nodding. "Exactly like that."
"You've got a deal then." You tell him, he smiles. "Perfect, I can't thank you enough."
"Mhm hm, now drink your tea before it gets cold."
--
The week of the wedding arrives faster than expected, you had been in prep mode all week; getting your hair and nails done, trying to pack whatever you think you'd need for a wedding.
A celebrity's wedding isn't different from a normal one, is it? Is that what a footballer is? A celebrity ? Can you call it a celebrity wedding- Your thought was interrupted by a knock on the door.
It's Virgil, a big smile on his face despite it being 8am. "Why are you so happy?" You asked upon opening the door.
"Oh, good morning to you too, sunshine. Are you ready to go?" He makes a face, chuckling. He starts carrying your luggage out of the house as you make one last walk through, assuming you had everything and things were in place for the few days you'd be away.
"Yup, all set." You notice he was putting your suitcase into his car. "You're driving?"
"Yeah, I figured it'd be faster than an Uber."
"We've got," you glanced at your phone, "4 hours before our flight."
"I know, it's fine." He waves you off, shutting the trunk before opening the passenger side door for you. You lock up and walk over the lawn to his driveway, getting into the car.
It was a short drive to the airport, the music played quietly and Virgil hummed as he drove. He glances over to see you typing away on your phone. "Who are you texting so early?"
"Playing the possessive boyfriend already, Virgil?" A raised eyebrow as you looked at the man. His cheeks flush red and he shakes his head. "I'm kidding," you rested a hand on his knee. He looks down and you move your hand. "I was just replying to some work stuff, I've never left them for so long."
"It's only 3 days, they'll be fine. Plus, don't they know you're on vacation?"
"Not really," you set the phone on your lap, "I told them I had some family stuff, couldn't exactly explain that Virgil Van Dijk was asking me- no, begging me, to be his fake wedding date."
"Technically," he points a finger at you, "it's a real wedding date, you're just my fake girlfriend."
"Technicalities, Virgil."
He laughs, pulling into the parking lot. The two of you head into the airport and after checking in, the woman sends the two of you down a hallway that seemed like a dead end.
You didn't travel often but you knew this seemed.. sketchy to say the least.
"Where are we going?" You asked Virgil, the man opens the door for you and leads you right onto the tarmac. There's a plane a few feet away and you turn to look at him, dot connecting in your head. "Private?" You asked him another question.
He nods, "figured I'd spoil my girlfriend," he jokes, smiling at you as you two walked over to the plane.
You sat across from Virgil, checking your phone for the millionth time since you've left home. "You know, they won't be able to reach you when we're in the air, I'm sure they'll be fine."
"I know," you switched it off and set it down before the plane took off.
The two of you were eating breakfast, a rather large spread for being in the air and considering the flight was barely 3 hours.
"So," you set the fork down on the plate, "get me the details, who's gonna be at the wedding?"
Virgil takes a sip of his coffee, "well, Andy and Rachel obviously."
"Obviously," you chuckled.
"Thiago, Jordan, Millie, Adam and their wives, Ox and his girlfriend, us and then Trent."
"What, Trent doesn't get a plus one?"
He shrugs, "I don't know, I don't think he's seeing anyone right now. Plus he's in the states, he said he's coming but we have to see."
You nod, the two of you chat a bit more. Virgil updates you on a few matches, how they think they're going to do, what it's like being captain. You tell him how the clinic is doing, how you're liking it so far compared to when you used to work at the hospital. Just small details that might come up in a conversation with his teammates.
Once you landed, Virgil collected your luggage and you were off to the hotel. It was a short walk to the venue from the hotel, the two of you put your stuff away and decided to go for a walk, grabbing a coffee before heading back to the hotel.
The rehearsal dinner was in a few hours, giving you two more than enough time to get ready. "We need to get our story straight," he says to you when you come in from the balcony.
"What story ?"
"Our outfits," he says with total seriousness, "what are you wearing tonight?"
You shook your head with a small smile on your face, taking the two dresses out of the wardrobe to show him; a light blue dress with a halter top, the small white flowers going from the waist to the bottom hem and the other was a burnt orange that was backless.
"I figured the blue was a bit more family friendly, classy enough without being too dressy," you hold it up to yourself to show him. He nods, "yeah, good. It's pretty."
You hung it back in the wardrobe before turning to him. "What are you going to wear?"
"We need to match." He was already searching through his suitcase for the shirt to match your dress. "Do we really need to?" You sat on the edge of the bed, looking at him.
He nods, pulling out the baby blue shirt. "This is close enough, no?"
"Yeah, but why does it look like you've had it rolled up in the bottom of a box for like.. 4 years?" Your brows furrowed as you looked at the state of it. Virgil shakes the shirt, trying to rid it of the permanent wrinkles. "Do you not have an iron, Virgil?"
"I do, but uh, I forgot to iron it."
You shook your head, getting up to search for the iron you knew you saw. You find it in the drawer in the wardrobe, handing it to him. Virgil spreads the shirt on the bed, plugging the iron in before fiddling with the settings. He looks between the iron, the shirt and you, a bit clueless before attempting to iron the shirt.
He works on the sleeve, making it worse than it was before, you watch as he helplessly works at the shirt. You figured maybe you were making him nervous in some weird way so you excused yourself to the bathroom to unpack your makeup and hair stuff.
When you came back, 7 minutes later, he was still working on the same sleeve. Your lips pressed together, arms folded over your chest as you watched.
"What?" He asked, glancing at you.
"You're terrible at that. Do you not know how to iron?"
He sighs, "it's been years since I've had to do it, I usually just get my stuff dry cleaned."
You smiled as you walked over, taking the iron from him and putting him out of his misery. "If I leave you to iron this, you might take the whole 3 hours to finish it. Why don't you go shower or whatever you need to do, I'll do it for you."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, go. Before you ruin the shirt," you shook your head, switching the setting from wool to cotton. You wondered how he ended up on wool to begin with. "Thank you," he smiles, walking into the bathroom.
While he showers, you finish up on his shirt and hang it on a hanger in the wardrobe. You also looked for his pants, ironing the 3 pairs of dress pants he had brought as you didn't know which one he'd be wearing.
Virgil returns to the room post shower, white towel wrapped around him that sat right below his hips, and you had just shut the wardrobe after hanging up his pants. You turn to find him behind you, your eyes fixed on the man; the water dripping down his chest, down to his stomach and it stops at the towel wrapped around his waist.
"You're staring, y/n." He says, you can hear the smirk on his face before your eyes meet his face.
It's not like you've never seen him shirtless before, he used the pool in his yard quite often, not to mention the glimpse of him you catch in the media or what the Liverpool account posts.
Clearing your throat, you blink a few times before speaking. "I uh, I ironed your pants as well, I wasn't sure which ones you were gonna wear so I ironed all of them."
He smiles, "thanks."
You nod, excusing yourself to the bathroom to shower. You shut the door, back pressed to it for a moment before going about your routine. You weren't sure how long you were in there but you had showered, done your hair and you were mid way through your makeup when there was a knock on the door.
"Can I come in?" Virgil calls from the other side of the door. "I need to fix my hair." He says and you open the door for him, concealer all over your face, hair pinned up with the robe wrapped around you.
He smiles when he sees you; you look so.. well, beautiful but there was something else, a domesticity of sorts. The two of you getting ready in the same bathroom, there's some intimate in the way you were seeing each other right now. Moving in silence as you both did your own thing beside one another.
You break the silence, "how did we meet?"
"We're neighbours..?" His eyes meet yours in the mirror, confusion all over his face.
"I mean if they ask, your teammates. What did you tell them?"
"Oh," he says, wrapping the hair tie around his hair. "I told them we met through mutual friends, my friend, Kevin. His wife knows you and we were all at the same party and we hit it off from there."
You hum, finishing up on your makeup. You were searching for your lipstick, "and how long have we been together?" You find the one you were looking for.
"Almost a year. If my math is right, it should be like.. 10 months?"
The lipstick in your hand, you look at Virgil with a shocked look on your face. "You've been lying to them for almost a year? How the hell did you manage that?"
His lips pressed together then he shrugs, which makes you laugh. "Okay," you nod, "almost a year it is." You turn back to the mirror, applying your lipstick.
Virgil watches as you do it, your hands steady while you go over your lips, pressing them together to make the colour even. "What do we think?" You asked, turning to him when you notice he's watching.
"Beautiful," he smiles, "truly."
"So cheesy," you chuckled, walking out of the bathroom to change into your dress.
The two of you head down to the venue a few minutes later, all dressed and ready to meet his teammates at the rehearsal dinner.
Before you walked in, Virgil grabbed your hand which caught you off guard. Your fingers interlocked with his and it took you a moment to realize why he did that; the two of you were a couple, of course.
It was already full in there, most of their family had already arrived and a few friends were scattered through the venue. You see a few of his teammates but Virgil leads you to the front, tapping Andy on the shoulder.
"Virg!" Andy smiles, pulling Virgil into a hug. "You made it," he steps back and sees you next to the man, his grin only widening. "You must be the famous girlfriend we hear about all the time."
"That would be me," you smiled, "I'm y/n, it's nice to meet you."
"It's nice to meet you too, this is Rachel, bride to be." He introduces you to his fiancee. You smiled at her, the two of you exchanging niceties.
"It's nice of you to make it, Andy was saying how he was certain Virgil wouldn't be bringing you." Rachel says, her arm interlocked with Andy's.
"Well to be fair, Virg seemed a bit nervous to ask me to come but I wouldn't miss it for the world. I don't think I've said it but congratulations."
Virgil's heart skips a beat, it wasn't out of ordinary that someone called him Virg, but you've never had. You always called him Virgil, so to hear the nickname come out of your mouth, make him rather.. soft.
"It's my fault," Andy starts, "we did tell Virg to bring you around before but he always said you were busy with work. So I think it's fair of me to think you were fake."
You laughed, "I can assure you I'm alive and real, feel free to pinch me to confirm." Andy laughed at your comment, smiling at his teammate in approval of you. Virgil returns the smile.
"Anyways, make yourselves comfortable, we're going to start the rehearsal soon." Rachel tells the two of you, leading Andy off to greet someone else.
Virgil's hand rests on your lower back, the two of you sitting towards the middle of the chairs, watching as they went through the rehearsal. It was mostly family, his teammates were only there so they could all mingle and catch up as they had been on break for a few weeks at this point.
At some point after they were done the run through, Virgil suggested drinks and you followed him to the bar, his hand once again on your lower back.
"Virg!" You hear someone call for him, the two of you turning at the same time to see who was coming his way. Both Jordan and Millie were making their way over to the two of you.
"Hey," Virgil smiles at his teammates. "Guys, this is y/n, my girlfriend. This is Jordan and James."
You smiled at the men, "it's nice to meet you both."
"We thought you weren't coming," Millie says and Jordan follows up with a, "it's nice to meet you, we thought you weren't real."
"That seems to be the general consensus tonight," you laughed.
Ox makes his way over to the bar, seeing his teammate with a woman he's never seen before. "You must be Virgil's girlfriend, I'm Ox." He introduces himself.
"I'm y/n, nice to meet you."
"I can't believe you're actually here."
You turn to Virgil, making a face at him. "Why do all your teammates think I'm not real?"
"He wouldn't show us pictures," Millie says, shrugging. "I guess that's true," you nudged Virgil, "between Virg's practices and games, and then with my work, we barely get time to see each other and when we do, we're not on our phones."
Jordan makes a face, looking between you and Virgil and you instantly know what he's thinking. "No!" You laughed, shaking your head. "That's so not what I meant."
"What is it that you do, y/n?" Ox pipes up.
"I'm a doctor, an OB actually."
"Oh wow," Ox smiles at his teammate. "She's good, you've got good taste, big man. I see why she hasn't been around."
You smile, your phone buzzing in your hand. You excuse yourself, walking away to take the phone call. You can hear the boys talking behind you, you glance over your shoulder and smile at Virgil, the man's heart skipping a beat. Despite you not being his actual girlfriend, it did feel good to get the approval from his teammates.
Virgil hadn't even realized how long he had been chatting with his teammates, he went in search of you and found you just outside, chatting with Julia, the two of you talking about their kids.
"There you are," Virgil says, walking down the steps towards you. You smile at him, "I see you've met Julia." He gives the woman a quick hug before standing beside you.
"Yeah," you smiled at her, "I'm mad at you, you know."
"What for?" His brows furrowed, looking at you. He's wondering what he could have possibly done.
"You've been hiding me from her, Julia and I are best friends now."
The blonde smiles at you, "yes we are. We've already made plans to get lunch when we get back to Liverpool. I can't believe you've never brought her around before, Virgil." She tells him, her voice similar to the one she uses when she scolded her children, and or Thiago, when they misbehave.
"Oh well, I'm sure y/n's told you about her hectic schedule. Blame her, not me. I do hope you two have fun at this lunch." He laughs, his arm over your shoulder.
The rest of the night was quiet, everyone caught up with each other with their summer plans and you met the rest of the players and their partners over the course of the night. Eventually you two decide to call it a night, heading back to the hotel.
You were by the door, taking your heels off when you saw Virgil stop in the middle of the room, in front of the bed.
"What's wrong?" You asked him, walking over. You seem to realize what he's thinking; there's only one bed.
Not like they've taken a bed out of the room while you were gone but you two had been too tired and too busy getting ready for the dinner that neither of you seemed to register that there was in fact, only one bed in the room.
It didn't occur to Virgil when booking the room that you'd need a separate bed, you weren't really a couple after all.
"I'll take the couch," you tell him, not wanting him to feel bad for his slight mess up.
He shook his head, turning to you. "No, it's fine. I'll take the couch, you take the bed."
You glance at the couch next to the window, it was spacious - that's if you were under 5 foot. There's no way he'd sleep comfortably if he did manage to fit on it.
"You know what, we're both adults. We'll sleep together." You tell him, his eyes widening at your words. "Not what I meant," you smack his arm. "We can both fit on the bed comfortably, no need for either of us to suffer on the couch."
"You're sure?" He asks and you nod, "of course, but hands to yourself mister." You pointed a finger to him, making him laugh.
Virgil raises his hands, "I swear I'll be on my best behaviour," he says, watching you walk into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
--
The sun peeks through the curtains, waking you from your sleep. You shut your eyes, trying to get a few more minutes but you can hear the shower running and then shuts off followed by the bathroom door opening. The smell of Virgil's body wash fills the room and you sit up, rubbing your eyes.
"Mornin' sunshine," he smiles at you, sitting on the edge of the bed. You yawn, stretching as you try to wake yourself up. "What time is it?"
"10:27," he looks at the clock, "how about some breakfast?"
"Yes please," you get out of bed, fixing the comforter as you walk to the bathroom. "Lots of coffee please," you smiled at him, shutting the door.
Virgil orders room service while you shower, you return to the room just as it arrives. The two of you sit on the couch, eating breakfast in comfortable silence. Virgil grabs his phone, "Andy sent over some pictures from last night," he shows you a few photos that the groom to be had sent.
"Those are cute, send them to me."
Your phone buzzes on the bed and you look over at the clock, "shit, I've got to do my hair." You set the cup down on the table and walk towards the bathroom. "Do you need the bathroom?"
"No, I'm good." he tells you, "do your thing."
You walk in and walk back out, leaning on the door frame. "What are you wearing today?"
He smiles, "don't worry, I ironed it and put it in the closet."
"Properly?" You asked, walking over to confirm.
"Yes," he shook his head, watching as you took the shirt out to confirm that he did in fact iron it properly. "Wow, good job. Big upgrade from yesterday."
"Watched a YouTube video," he says, making you laugh.
You leave Virgil in the room, off to shower and then to start on your makeup and hair as you weren't 100% sure what look you wanted to do. Virgil left you alone, letting you get ready in peace. He could hear the music playing, your humming accompanying the melody.
He thought to himself that it was something he could get used to, that his house would feel so quiet and empty without you humming.
The line between real and fake seemed to be getting blurred more and more as the time went by.
"Virg?" You called for the man, he got up from his spot on the couch. He had been ready for some time, you still had an hour before you needed to leave. "Yeah?"
"Can you zip me up?"
You stepped out of the bathroom, hair pulled over your shoulder with your dress on. He smiles, nodding as he walks over to you; the sage green dress hugged your body in the right places, it was as if the dress was made for you and only you.
Virgil's hand rests on your waist, the other holds the zipper and gives it a soft tug, pulling it up to the top. The hand holding the zipper now turns into fingers trailing down the curve of your spine, coming to rest on the other side of your hip. "There you go."
Turning around to face him, Virgil's hands remained on your hips. "Thank you," you look up. He nods, "you look.. wow."
You can't help but laugh, straightening his shirt. "You look pretty wow yourself."
Virgil lets go of you when you take a step back, walking to the vanity to put your jewelry on. It takes the two of you half an hour to gather the last minute things you needed, assuring you were ready before heading out for the ceremony.
It's a short walk to the venue, everyone was being ushered into the church to take their seats while the bridal party was lining up to walk in when you two arrived.
The weather was beautiful, the sun was out and the church was full with their families and friends; they couldn't ask for a better start to their wedding day.
The ceremony was short and sweet, Andy and Rachel exchanging vows and promises, everyone was beyond happy for them.
Most of the guests were now outside, the doors to the church open as everyone was heading out.
You stood next to Virgil by the stairs, letting him block the sun from your face as you checked your phone. You hear the footsteps before you hear the voice. "You're actually here, you're real?" The Scouse accent thick, Trent.
"I am real," you looked up, smiling at the man who looks like he's seen better days. "You must be Trent."
"Yeah, it's nice to meet you. Excuse me." He says, covering a yawn with his hand.
Before you two could speak, Andy was calling the two players over for a group photo. You stop Virgil, standing on your tiptoes to reach his collar, his hand on your hip you keep you steady as you fix it before sending him on his way; a small act of intimacy that you'd only find between a couple.
You had been checking your emails, something you knew Virgil would complain about if he caught you doing it yet again. You were so caught up that you hadn't noticed him calling your name. When you do, you look up, making a hand motion as to ask him what he wants. He waved you over, pointing to the spot in front of him. Your brows furrowed, still unsure what he wanted as the dots didn't seem to connect. Virgil realized as much, pointing towards the photographer and then back to the spot in front of him.
Only then did it click what he meant.
You head over, joining the other girlfriends and wives in the photo. Andy and Rachel were front and centre, the rest of you around them.
"Alright everyone, squeeze in a bit more please!" The photographer shouts, showing you all with his hands to move closer to each other.
Virgil moves you from beside him to in front of him, his arm over your shoulder and your hand instinctively reaches up, fingers interlocking with his.
The photographer gives everyone a moment to situate themselves, "perfect, alright everyone look here! Smile!"
A few moments later, you were all allowed to move. Andy and Rachel were off to take some more photos, there was only about 30 minutes before the reception which wasn't too far from the church.
Everyone makes their way over, waiting for the official entrance from Andy and Rachel as Mr and Mrs Robertson for the first time.
You were sat next to Virgil, Jordan and his wife, Rebecca, to the right of Virgil and Thiago and Julia to your left.
Andy and Rachel were having their first dance, the whole venue was quiet as you all watched the two of them, wrapped up in love and giggling as they whispered to each other mid dance.
You wiped the outer corner of your eye, blinking a few times in an attempt to save your makeup. Virgil turns slightly when he hears a small sniffle. He sees your watery eyes, smiling to himself and leans in to whisper to you; "are you crying?"
"Shut up," you whispered back, turning him back around with a small nudge. "Weddings make me emotional."
The evening was quiet, dinner consisted of everyone chatting, Andy and Rachel made the rounds to say hello to everyone who they didn't get a chance to talk to at the church. Eventually they reopened the bar and the dance floor, everyone started making their way around, mingling, drinking and dancing.
You were replying to a message when Virgil came over, two shot glasses in hand. He passes one to you, "to Andy and Rachel," he says, tapping his glass to you. The two of you down the shots, tequila, based on the after taste.
"Okay, let's go dance!"
"I don't dance, Virg."
"It's a wedding, you have to dance!" He takes your phone from you, putting it into his pocket and grabbing your hand. "Virg," you groaned, the man ignores your pleas and takes you to the dance floor, spinning you around.
Before you know it, the two of you are giggling and dancing, his arms over your shoulders as he hugs you from behind, swaying to the music.
"I'm gonna get a drink," you tell him and the man lets you go while nodding before shimmying his way over to Trent, who looks like he was about to fall asleep in his chair. You laughed, leaving Virgil to bother Trent as you walked to the bar.
You had barely made it to the bar when someone shouted for you. "Y/n!" You see Thiago off to the side, "can you take a picture for us?"
"Sure," you take the phone from him, he and Julia standing together, arms wrapped around each other as they smiled, then Thiago kissed her.
Sometimes you wonder what it'd be like if you had a stable and loving relationship like theirs.
"I thought you got lost!" Virgil says, walking towards you. You shook your head, handing the phone back over to Thiago. The Spaniard then turns, passing the phone to Virgil. "Okay now you come in, let him take the picture."
"Are you sure?" You asked, Thiago was already pulling you into the photo.
He nods, you and Julia on either side of him, the 3 of you smiling as Virgil takes the photo, the camera flashing. Thiago steps out, letting you and Julia have some together, his wife telling him something about they have enough pictures of them together. You laughed, the two of you smiling for the camera.
"Do you want one together?" Thiago looks at Virgil, who then looks at you and you shrug, waving him over. Virgil hands his phone to Thiago while Julia replaces him by her husband's side.
Virgil's arm over your shoulder, your arm around his waist, the two of you smiling while Virgil pulls you into his side. "Alright Virg, give your lady a kiss." Thiago says, smiling.
Your 'boyfriend's' cheeks are red, a flush he can blame on the Portuguese heat or the liquor but you know the real reason. "Come on man, what are you waiting for?!" Thiago says, laughing at Virgil's shyness.
"Leave them alone," Julia tells her husband, rolling her eyes at his childishness.
"It's fine," you whisper to Virgil, turning to him a bit. He looks at you, whispering back, "you sure?" You stood close, the air between you two charged with a mixture of tension and anticipation.
"Mhm hm," your hand rests on his chest while he leans down, you tip toe a bit, meeting him half way when he kisses you.
But as your hand found its way to Virgil's cheek and your lips met against each other's, something shifted. What was meant to be a quick moment blossomed into something real, something raw. When you finally pulled away, breathless and flushed, a shared realization dawned upon them.
The kiss may have been staged, but the feelings it stirred within were undeniably genuine.
As you glanced at each other, a silent understanding passed between you and Virgil. This fake relationship may have begun as a charade, but perhaps, just perhaps, it held the promise of something more.
Thiago grinned, "perfect. The picture of love," he says, handing the phone back to Virgil. You smiled, your own cheeks now flushed and red. You reached over, your thumb brushed over his lips to wipe away the lipstick left behind. Virgil's arm wraps around your shoulder, the two of you chatting as you join Thiago and Julia for a round of shots.
The night wrapped up just after midnight, everyone waiting at the front to wish Andy and Rachel well, seeing them off as they left before everyone else headed to wherever home was after that.
Virgil's jacket over your shoulders while you walked back to the hotel. Despite the humidity earlier in the day, there was now a slight chill in the air.
"Did you have a good time?" He asks, opening the door for you. "I did," you walk in, waiting for the elevator to your room. "Thank you for bringing me."
"Thank you for coming, you really saved my ass."
It hits you in the moment that this was in fact, fake. You were doing him a favour, you weren't a couple, you never will be. Just a good friend helping him out in a tough situation.
When you returned to the room, Virgil announced that he's gonna go take a shower while you got ready for bed. The two of you moved in silence, you sat at the vanity taking your makeup off while the sound of the water running filled the room. You had to remind yourself that this wasn't real yet again.
All the feelings felt over the weekend were just for show. Certainly Virgil didn't feel the same way you did.
The steam filled the bathroom, Virgil lets the water run as he stands there. The kiss was real, the moments you shared were real, his feelings for you were real.
How the hell was he used to bring it up without it being awkward?
The shower shut off just as you were about to get into bed. Your phone bus is on the nightstand, and you reach over to grab it. There's a notification from Instagram.
juliavigas tagged you in a post. - 2mins ago.
You opened it, checking to see what she posted. There's a few photos from the wedding. Some of her and Thiago, the venue, one of you and her, as well as the one with you, her and Thiago. She also included the one in front of the church, Virgil's arm wrapped around you as you all smiled.
Virgil finds his way to the bed, sitting next to you. "What's so interesting?"
"Julia posted some pictures," you show your phone, letting him scroll through the pictures. "I guess everyone will think we're together now." He looks at the one in front of the church before handing the phone back to you.
"Wasn't that the whole point?" You ask, setting your phone on the nightstand.
"I guess so," he shrugs, the two of you sitting there in silence, the tv playing quietly in the background. There's a million thoughts going through his head at this very moment.
As he looked over at you, in the soft glow of the bedside lamp, Virgil couldn't help but admire your beauty, the way your eyes sparkled with a warmth that mirrored a flickering flame. It was in shared moments like these that he felt a pull, a force pulling him closer, urging him to take that leap of faith. But as the silence went on, Virgil felt the weight of his hesitation, suffocating him with its embrace.
How could he confess his feelings when the fear of rejection spun around in his mind, an unwelcome shadow over his every thought?
He glances at you once more, your eyes meeting in a brief exchange, Virgil felt a sense of longing wash over him, a wave of emotion threatening to consume him whole.
Still, the words remained unspoken, trapped behind the barricade of his uncertainty.
He had to take the leap of faith, he wouldn't know if he didn't try.
"What are we?" He blurts out, breaking the silence.
You turn, looking at him with a confused expression. "What are.. what do you mean?"
"Well.. we.. we kissed, so like, are we.. what are we?"
"We're not in high school, Virg. A kiss is a kiss, no?"
His smile fades, your heart breaking the moment you see that. He nods, turning his attention back to the tv. "Yeah, no. Of course."
"I'm kidding," your hand rests over his on the bed, "if you're asking me if I like.. if I like you, then I'll only answer if you put it into a note, like high school." You raised your eyebrows, making him chuckle.
"Yeah, okay." He nods. The topic was dropped, the tension lifting slightly.
--
The next morning, you and Virgil leave bright and early, heading to the airport for your flight back to England. The plane had barely taken off and you were still not fully awake, nursing your coffee as Virgil's fingers drummed on his knee.
"Dude," you groaned, "I have a headache, it sounds like you're playing a gong right now."
He stops tapping on his leg, brows furrowed and lips twisted in a weird expression. "Can you play a gong? Is that what it is?"
"I don't know, you know what I mean." You tell him, leaning your head back, eyes shut. You barely got all but 3 minutes of silence before Virgil speaks up again. "Do you have a pen?"
You open your eyes, reaching over to dig through your purse next to you before fishing out a pen and handing it to him. You watch him as he uncaps it, scribbling something down on the napkin in front of him, sliding it over the table to you with the pen.
'Do you like me? Check yes or no.' The two little boxes labeled yes and no under his question.
You smile, shaking your head at his childishness and the fact that he took what you said seriously. You picked up the pen, checking a box and sliding it over to him.
The yes was checked, Virgil glances at you with a cheeky smile before picking up the pen, flipping over the napkin and writing something else before sliding it back to you.
'Will you be my girlfriend?' the same yes and no boxes drawn under the question.
Your answer was yes but you wouldn't give into him so quickly. You picked up the pen, chin in the palm of your head thinking as if it was the hardest question of your life. You can see Virgil shifting nervously in his seat, and it's as if you can hear him overthinking his decision to ask you.
To put him out of his misery, you check a box and slide it back over to him.
There's a sigh of relief when he sees you've checked yes. You toss the pen at him playfully, shaking your head. "You're so cheesy."
"You said to ask it in a note!" He says, folding the napkin and putting it into his pocket.
"I didn't think you'd actually do it!" You laughed, the man shook his head and unbuckled, leaving over the table. His hands cupping your face, smiling at you before he kisses you.
Your hand interlocked with his, stretched over the table when he sat back down. "How about when we get back, I take you on an actual date?"
Your thumb brushes over his hand. "Not sick of me yet?"
"Could never get sick of you, y/n."
--
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pureastrologywisdom · 10 months ago
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ℌ𝔬𝔴 ℑ 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔠𝔢𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔡𝔦𝔣𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔱𝔶𝔭𝔢𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔟𝔢𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔶 𝔦𝔫 𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔬𝔤𝔶
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How I perceive different types of beauty in astrology 
The more you have of one placement the more prominent or obvious it becomes
If you have a few you will give off a mix of the vibes I talk about, you may resonate more with one at a certain time, or tap into different ones for different occasions. In the future I may analyse some celebrities so you can see an example of all influencing placements mixed together.
That is what is so interesting, everyone has different mixtures of these placements, so finding the mixture you give off can help you see what type of vibe/aura you give off.
Pisces Placements - specifically rising, moon and Venus 
Neptune dominant people, or Neptune aspecting the Asc
Aspecting mc can have an influence too - mainly conjunct
This is an etherial type of beauty. It’s soft and heavenly. Remember Neptune is the higher octave of Venus. Neptunian people have something about them where it feels like they literally glimmer, they give off this glowing light. They remind me oof the sound of wind chimes. This can be their eyes or a certain feature that can reflect this, but usually it’s just an overall vibe. There can a preciousness or innocence about their look. It is almost angelic. Extreme beauty can be seen through these placements. 
Examples
Sofia Loren - ascendant trine Neptune
Julia Roberts - ascendant trine Neptune
Andrew Garfield - ascendant square Neptune
Pricilla Presley - ascendant square Neptune 
Whitney Houston - ascendant in Pisces
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Aquarius placements - rising, moon, Venus (using modern astrology for this)
Uranus dominant people, Uranus aspecting the Asc
Uranus aspecting mc too - mainly conjunct 
This is a striking type of beauty. It’s unforgettable. There is a uniqueness to these people, one or a few of their features stand out because it’s unusual. There can be something almost other-wordly about them. There is something about uranians that draw people to them, something you cant ignore or put your finger on, almost a shocking beauty, it strikes you like lightning.  They like being different and standing out. They cut through the crowd with their looks. In some ways their looks can also be ahead of their time.
Examples
Zendaya - Aquarius rising 
Johnny Depp - Uranus in 1st house
Audrey Hepburn - Aquarius rising and Uranus in 1st house 
Gemma Arterton - Uranus trine Ascendant
Emma Stone - Uranus trine Ascendant
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Thank you for reading!
I did want this to be longer but I only had time to write about and research two so far.
there will be other parts to this with descriptions for for each sign/planets influence. I will be getting them out this week so if your placements haven't been mentioned look out for that.
If you like this type of content I will also be releasing some slots for chart readings from me soon, looking at not only your overall chart but also options for analysis of specific sections, so please look out for that too in the next month as I will have limited space :)
Pure astro wisdom
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uniteds · 2 years ago
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stuff that happened in the 2022/2023 football season that should send us into a coma but we’re too desensitized:
1. the whole ass world cup in the middle of the season. what was that
2. manchester united sacking ronaldo and announcing a sale of the club in the middle of the world cup
3. ronaldo getting dropped at the world cup and his replacement scoring a hattrick immediately after
4. keeping up with the belgians (world cup edition)
5. keeping up with the belgians (courtois saying he doesn’t respect kdb after stealing his missus)
6. ronaldo stans beefing with a little moroccan girl
7. the kingdom of saudi arabia buying newcastle united and then telling the premier league that they didn’t and the premier league going “oh okay if you say so”
8. megan thee stallion being romelu lukaku’s date to lautaro martinez’s wedding
9. pique cheating on shakira and then shakira releasing a diss track about it
10. shakira figuring out pique cheated on her because someone ate her strawberry jam and pique doesn’t eat strawberry jam
11. apparently the girl pique cheated on shakira with (clara) cheating on pique with pep
12. wagatha christie libel case
13. real madrid dropping a video accusing barcelona of fascism and the government of cataluyna getting involved
14. the pope coming out as a manchester united fan
15. the one napoli fan that basically made zielinski strip on the pitch
16. mount vesuvius park shutting down because napoli fans wanted to fake an eruption as a celebration
17. frank lampard taking everton into a relegation battle, getting sacked, and then taking chelsea into a relegation battle
18. on that note: chelsea were in a relegation scrap and finished 12th
19. mourinho lost his first ever european final to sevilla europa league black magic
20. whatever the fuck borussia dortmund did on the last day of the bundesliga season
21. anthony martial’s ex wife chasing his first wife down a french motorway with a baby in the passenger seat
22. psg suspending messi because he took an unsanctioned trip to saudi arabia and then unsuspending him two days later because they didn’t want people talking about geopolitics
23. the absolutely bizarre messi apology video released by psg
24. spurs refunding their fans’ tickets after being embarrassing
25. pep’s heartbreak over the fact julia roberts is a manchester united fan
26. chelsea scored one goal in the month of april
27. chelsea and spurs had six managers between them and won one match combined between march and april
28. mourinho fighting anthony taylor after the europa league final
29. milan derby in the ucl for the first time since 2005
30. luis enrique saying he’s cool with the spanish players having sex during the world cup as long as they’re not having orgies
31. luis enrique saying he doesn’t have sex anymore unless his wife wants to
32. man city charged with 115 counts of financial doping and trying to get the barrister in charge disqualified because he’s an arsenal fan
33. mourinho wire-taping himself to catch referees being corrupt
34. ryan reynolds and mac from it’s always sunny in philadelphia buying a football club and that football club getting promoted
35. pele died rip
36. women football awards sponsored by shein and klarna having a category for “male football ally of the year” and it’s just random men that went to one (1) women’s game
37. barcelona negreia case (how do you say calciopoli in catalan?)
38. infantino saying he feels gay, african, like a migrant worker, disabled, arab, and qatari
39. infantino saying he was oppressed as a child because he was ginger and italy is not safe for gingers
40. david alaba’s father in law getting arrested for being one the leaders of a far right group plotting to overthrow the german government
41. richarlison being tumblr’s it girl for a month and then not scoring a goal for the next four
42. juventus being in the middle of another corruption scandal and being docked points because of it
43. two teams getting investigated by the british government for playing football the weekend the queen died
44. gavi getting a yellow card in the first minute of a football match
45. pogba’s brother was arrested by french authorities for being part of a group-organized extortion attempt against pogba
46. richarlison getting a tattoo of neymar’s face and neymar paying him 30k to get it removed
47. iker casillas coming out, puyol implying they had a thing, and both of them retracting it in the most misha collins way possible.
48. sane and mane fight
49. zlatan retired from football
50. barca withholding about 50 million in wages from their players and somehow frenkie still didn’t want to join manchester united
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