#Because you didn't care to ask

[narc-angel-thoughts]

The ASPD urge to vaguepost about the ex who broke up with us during a breakdown instead of asking if we were okay or for any details about the situation that we were worried about. Tip for everyone dating mentally ill people: Not everything is as it seems. For the mentally ill people: It's very normal to think that you are the perpetrator in a situation that you were forced into. It does not mean that you are one.

[bixels]

Be honest, what are your thoughts on appledash? Do you hate it or its more of not a big deal

Not a big deal to me. I like it, I see all the appeals, I just personally like Rarijack more.

[kanjichris]

"why don't you want him to know how much you love him?" "that's a little personal. he knows." "uh-huh."

[thegenderfucker]

yeah sure I'll watch this light-hearted K-drama about an autistic attorney, what's the worst that could happe—

[pinkcowzz]

the way there is only 3 episodes left of arcane has me gnawing on my tv. what do you MEAN. there are so many questions i have. the world building in this show is so limited but it is so fucking good. there is an entire world there, and we are only allowed such a limited view of it, and only for such a small amount of time. but my fucking god, there is so much to take from this. i keep thinking back to how so many citizens of zaun have died their hair to look like jinx's and i just. what does the world look like for them? the undercity has been getting stepped on and spit on for years. this is not a new thing. but the militarization of it all, the checkpoints, the open disdain and disgust. how must it feel to be given hope. vander was safety, comfort. silco was this temptation of power but in a large way was just another boot, he gave them shimmer. but jinx, she is the best of them both. and no im not saying she was sane, she has killed a lot of people but. she stood up, she used her anger and her grief and she stood up.

and jayce, my beloved. oh the man of progress. he is such a breath of fresh air for piltover. i mean, don't get me wrong he is also so complex and he definitely has his prejudices, but. he wanted to make the world a better place. he had his life saved by this arcane and he spent his entire life searching for it. and he found it. but the politics and the back room dealings that he had to make for it. he had to sacrifice a part of himself.

i think about viktor claiming that jayce would understand his use of shimmer a lot. i think he is so right. he would, he does but i think viktor couldn't understand jayce. he couldn't fathom why jayce would walk away from their studies to play the part of a councilor but it was for them. it was so they could bring hextech to the people, so they could improve lives. its the same reason he was willing to vote heimerdinger off the council.

[einaudis]

ALL OF US STRANGERS (2023) dir. ANDREW HAIGH

[hyakunana]

"Anyone can find happiness. That's the world we're striving for!"

[starscreamingg]

Detroit Become Human and why does this game decide that the problem in society is individual people treating androids poorly because those androids are choking them out of the workforce and NOT the corporations and governments who deliberately designed the androids to do this

[iamnmbr3]

harry definitely not heterosexual potter is the funniest thing to me because i literally cannot remember a single time in the book where he thinks “i should probably be nervous about draco trying to kill me because i am literally convinced that he is willingly working with voldemort.” no. he was like “oh draco? yeah he is definitely working for voldemort and he is so evil because did you see the way he is combing his hair now? probably switched shampoo. he would never change conditioner, that thing works wonders. what do you mean, this is common knowledge. anyway, he is so evil and definitely working for voldy. but of course he won’t kill me, are you crazy? who would he talk to across the great hall? like literally you don’t even understand.” and everyone just WENT WITH IT.

Hahahahaha I KNOW! Would he feel this safe around literally any other person who he suspected of being in league with Voldemort? I think tf not!

Even once Draco has Harry incapacitated and totally at his mercy on the train Harry at no point thinks that he's in danger. Even after Draco breaks his nose he doesn't think it. After that incident Harry still is all 'can't wait to break into the Room of Requirement BY MYSELF while Draco is in there so I can see what secret evil mission he's working on for Voldemort' and at no point does he worry that going in without backup could end badly. And HE'S RIGHT. When Draco has Harry at his mercy he never seriously harms him and risks everything multiple times in book 7 to protect him. This is NOT Harry seeing Draco with rose tinted glasses. This is Harry deeply and intimately understanding that Draco will not hurt him and feeling comfortable around him on an instinctual level despite every reason he has not to.

And let's not forget why Harry finally stops investigating Draco in 6th year. It's not because he decides he's wrong about his whole "Draco is a Death Eater on a mission from Voldemort" theory nor is it because he gets worried that since Draco is a Death Eater on a mission from Voldemort looking into this could get Harry or his friends hurt. No. He stops because his investigation leads to Draco getting hurt. And Harry is so horrified by this that he completely backs off and gives up trying to stop the super secret evil mission from Voldemort that Harry is sure Draco is on. Harry is like 'foiling an evil plot masterminded by Voldemort himself isn't worth it if it could lead to me hurting Draco.' He really said 'I can excuse putting myself in mortal danger on a regular basis to stop Voldemort's plots but I draw the line at Draco being upset.' In canon.

And yeah Harry cares about people in general but not to this extent. When Umbridge gets carried off by centaurs Harry doesn't even think of going after her. He's just like 'lmao bye bitch.' He straight up KILLS Quirrell in first year and when he finds out he's like 'well that sucks for him.' Tons of Death Eaters get hurt and maimed at the Department of Mysteries and Harry never even stops to check if they're ok. In second year he forces Lockhart to enter the Chamber of Secrets first in case there's a Basilisk waiting at the bottom of the chute.

But anytime he sees Draco in danger he does whatever he can to help without even thinking about it. From the time in first year in the Forbidden Forest when he immediately throws his arm out to stop Draco walking towards Voldemort to 7th year when he risks his own life and that of his friends to pull him out of the fiendfyre and reveals his presence while running through the battle so he can stun a Death Eater threatening Draco. And he does it automatically, without a second thought because Harry can't fathom a world where he wouldn't protect Draco.

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

[fisheito]

here's your accursed tier ranking

17

sex yakumos that i had to meticulously screenshot and edit into slottable little squares

4

times i redid this list (over the course of several days)

The tiers (in words):

😔👌: Unfortunately, I Am Into That Shit (☆•̀‿•́): i quite enjoy these 🤔( ͡ಠ_ಠ)🔎: some parts i like, some parts i don't ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: ehh i'd rather watch something else

i COULD rearrange these rooms over and over and over (especially the middle tiers)

but we are nOt GOing to because if i spend ANY MORE TIME sliding yaku's horny squares around i'm goign to fmkkin lose it (it being my peanuts) I could end up rambling about specific rooms at a later date..... but not today. Today we will Restrain Ourselves.

So for now, here's 1 thing about each room that i like (same order as above)!!

Crimson Phantom R5: i can be uyuor devil

Dark Nova R2: THE FOFKIN COLLAR

Ocean Breeze R2: the way he tries to keep his voice down thru his pathetic little whimpers

Fateful Aegis R2: ENSLUTTIFICATION BEGINS **NOW**

Story H scene: ok.,, but he actually stopped. when eiden said slow down. tha't's unheard of in typical yaois

Cocoa Liqueuer R5: eiden purposely chooses the wrong dialogue option at every prompt and i'm laughing so sahgrd

Cocoa Liqueuer R2: yaku's stupid blissed out face *grips my glass so hard it shatters*

Shadow Lineage R5: *adds Snake Bondage [Quantity: 999] to cart*

Incognito Cafe R5: HOLY SHIT HE OBTAINED DICK RESTRAINT

Dark Nova R5: SNAKE TRAITS SNAKE TRAITS MONSTER TRAITS LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

SR R5: something about those big doe eyes staring up at eiden while pounding into him

Shadow Lineage R2: yeah sure crush me against a wall

Ocean Breeze R5: the ECHO 🤣

Fateful Aegis R5: eiden predicting yaku's AssPoundXXXL initiation sequence with the foreboding "i'm sorry"

OG SSR R2:

Crimson Phantom R2: b. bite.

OG SSR R5: eiden worrying about getting yaku's ceremonial robes dirty and yaku's response is an instant I Don't Care 😳 (tbhypothetical if i were wearing an intricate cosplay that i spent foREVER on, all handstitched and made of expensive silks and crafted by my own labour,, and i was about to fuck someone against a wall? I am DEFINITELY taking that thing off. NO ONE is getting cum on that. you will sit there in horny silence while i safely store this garment out of range of the Splash Zone. so for yakumo to have no regard for his FANCY CEREMONIAL OUTFIT? to IMMEDIATELY focus on sloppy makeouts with eiden? that either speaks to his textiles skill or all-consuming horny.)

~~~ and if, for some reason, u want to know why the lowest 3 are , well, the lowest 3:

OG SSR R2: the room itself is aight, but it is unfortunately a near copy of the story H scene. Ahhh, death by comparison. This one gets shrugged to the side simply because i like more things about its twin.

Crimson Phantom R2: yaku is not having a good time, y'all. he is not in the right headspace and his evident suffering is a boner killer. if i were ranking based on character development and lore, this one would rank higher (thank you, surprise tragic stories about yakumo's childhood), but. he's kinda fighting a losing battle against his self-hatred so can eiden give him that hug pls

OH!! and no lie-- his voice unsettled me here. i know he's playing big into the roleplay thing but that Uncharacteristic Vocal Behaviour mixed with Big Sad spiralling is uhhhhhhh . so where's that Eiden hug??????

OG SSR R5: i unlocked this waaay late so it had to (unfairly) compete against newer rooms that I unlocked before it.

it's similar to when I played FF/X-2 before trying FF/VII (original PS version)?! i wish i had played the older one when it first released. that way, i would have appreciated it properly? BUT!! because i played out of order, i was spoilt with modern graphics and improvements that made the old game impossible to finish. I was too warped by then...

and that's what happened with this room. although i liked the concept + their dialogue, the art was too off-model for me to fully engage. i kept fixating on the anatomy or eiden's face. sigh... it was one of the earliest rooms so of course the art's improved since then!! but i was unlucky and watched it too late :( i could not enjoy its full splendour :(

[bixels]

Jesus man, relax.

[somestorythoughts]

Dehydration

Back with some vampire clones!

Echo's throat feels like the air on a desert planet. The nutrients the Techno Union were giving him must have been high in iron or something, because he's well aware that blood brothers don't survive this long with only rations, but he's still so thirsty.

"Rex. Thirsty."

His Captain glances around the room automatically before he turns back to Echo. The General navigating with Tech, it's only vod here. "Blood or water?" He murmurs, the arm around Echo's shoulder's squeezing gently.

"Blood. Please?"

The sergeant - crap what was his name? - glanced up. "You're, what did that medic call them? A redder brother?"

"Blood or redder brother." Rex confirmed. "If you're unfamiliar I guess you don't have any bitten with you?" Bitten, their terms for brothers who are willing to be go-to's for all the blood brothers. Fives had been one.

"I'm not sure what that means?"

Rex grimaced. "How close are we to the Resolute?"

"Tech!" The Sargent calls. "What's our ETA?"

"Twenty-five minutes!" Is the shouted response. The other two troopers are watching, clearly curious.

"And time to get to the medbay." Rex adds. "Thirty minutes Echo. Can you hold on for thirty minutes?" Echo nods, too tired to say more.

Thirty minutes later a surprised Tech watches the ARC trooper they rescued sink alarmingly sharp teeth into the wrist of the ARC who'd accompanied them earlier. "Huh."

"Don't work with the blood brothers a lot do ya?" The ARC asks from where he's carefully holding Echo, apparently very relaxed with the biting. "Echo. You've got to breathe."

There's a snarl and the ARC winces. "Okay maybe you don't."

"Might need another volunteer Jesse." The medic - Kix - muttered. "Echo I'm going to scan you. Stay calm." He waits till he gets an acknowledgement, then starts.

"I have questions." Tech decides.

"Run me through what you know of these prosthetics and we can talk once I know he's stable."

[m-for-now]

I have this thing where I project my stuff onto fictional characters I like, so sometimes I go

What if Leo Valdez also had that thing where sometimes autistic masking and adhd procrastination are so exhausting that you consistently want to do something, but you just kinda can't and the sentence

"So, what did you do today?"

Is incredibly depressing, because the answer is "nothing much" but what is really also true is "I was trying to force myself to do literally anything at all the entire day and I kept failing the entire day so even if I factually did a thing, it doesn't count because I didn't achieve anything valuable that someone else could understand"

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Brain: You do realize there will be like only two people interested in some of the things you wrote for Febuwhump. At least in comparison to some of the other things you wrote.

Me: And?

Brain: That'll be discouraging.

Me: I don't care. I want to write what I want to write. If people like it they like it. If they don't they don't. That's their problem, not mine. I'm writing it because I want to.

[mellohiizz]

who are your favourite ships I gotta know

wait oh my god. uh. i have so many, actually. i'm not picky with ships, tbh. i like pretty much anything (as long as it's not problematic or weird, ykn)

if i had to list the one's i like most; kenparfies, zammbu, vitalasubzam.

then, i also really enjoy zam/wemmbu/minutetech (sorry i don't know the name for them), devotion duo, squiddo/jumper, clownzy and spacewaffles.

just to mention, duos/trios like duality duo, pmc and tax duo that i don't mind either platonic or romantic. ^_^