#Because they don't think they deserve it and because they think adults don't need that stuff

[notashadowbutawave]

finally talked my wife into watching 8x06 "confessions" with me and WOW there's quite a lot going on in this breakup scene in buck's apartment (and the infamous glee scene for that matter) that I haven't seen discussed much on this website (though maybe I'm just not finding it?) like this show is always yelling the themes in your face but...

first of all I think it's somewhat intentional that Buck is being written as kind of regressing. So far in the show, he's gotten his confidence in romantic relationships by fulfilling the role with the person that he thinks he should fulfill. with Abby, Buck had just learned about serious adult romantic relationships and how they work and was trying to Be A Partner in a complete speed run. But he learned that no amount of devotion is a substitute for functionality. with Taylor, he was trying to Be A Functional Partner - and he learned that being a partner Has To involve trust, and that trust comes from somewhere else other than just our actions - it has to come from our hearts.

Tommy is the first person he's ever dated where he doesn't know what the next steps are and that's because this isn't something he has a blueprint for - being a Partner and a Functional Partner for somebody who sees right through him and sees exactly what he's trying to do, to make Tommy never leave. Abby was completely clueless (sorry I really dislike Abby) and Taylor didn't realize that an adult man could behave so badly without utter malice in his heart. Both of them kind of make the mistake of being vulnerable to Buck's charms.

Tommy is of course vulnerable to Buck's charms but Buck is more transparently himself with Tommy as well - and what Tommy sees, then, is a person who is deeply insecure and may be trending in the right direction but ultimately still thinks there's a lever he can pull to make Tommy stay and never leave him. He doesn't know that he's not done cooking yet because every new thing he learns about the world or others makes him feel brand fucking new.

So yes, the glee scene:

Josh was absolutely gagged that Tommy was Abby's ex fiance

Buck's first instinct is to see the situation from Abby's side and go into protective mode which is adorably loyal to be fair but also like ; get a grip

I actually love Josh's framing of "you care about this person and if you want a future in a queer relationship you need to learn that we don't all come to this the same way"

Did they need a cultural reference? No. Were they going to self referentially congratulate Ryan Murphy for inflicting it on the world? Yes.

And regarding the breakup itself:

What is wrong with this fandom's sense of humor that I haven't seen a gif of "I'm the himbo" ??? Like yes babe u sure are come here

Buck is really working so hard in this scene to make sure Tommy knows that he's serious. He's like... this freaked me out but I've decided I'm cool with it. She changed my life but not like you !!!

Like bless his heart, Buck thought he was really doing the right thing by telling Tommy about Abby BEFORE ASKING HIM TO MOVE IN WITH HIM. like MY CARDS ARE ON THE TABLE??? SEE??? LOVE ME FOREVER !! it's adorable and it's also cringe as fuck.

I think the real sin of the writing here is making Buck so completely clueless that this is the wrong move. Like he's kind of an idiot (Eddie Diaz's words not mine) but moving in with someone after dating them for six months in your 30s is WILD behavior and I don't think even Evan Buckley would fail to realize that this is a bit much in this moment.

But idk being in love makes one do stupid things? I did all of my messy bitch relationship shit before I turned 30 but I guess it is buck we are talking about

I completely understand why Tommy reacts the way he does in this scene and bless Lou Ferrigno Jr for acting it with such nuance, much more depth than the scene frankly deserves. What a heartbreaker. Like you see him tense up at Buck's request

"I'm not saying let's get married or engaged, even though we would have the right, thanks to the brave people who came before, including you." such an insane thing to say to your boyfriend. Whoever approved this script was trying to take me out like with a gun.

You then see the absolute grief in Tommy's eyes like oh god this kid is killing me. He's so sweet. He's so cute. He doesn't get it. I love him. He doesn't get it.

As an aside, Eddie being stalked in the juice bar by the hot priest was absolutely incredible.

I didn't hate this episode but wow the writing does suck shit, however I fully believe it makes sense for them to break up here and get back together in the future ??? because Buck DOES have some shit to figure out. Like moving in with someone is a lot of fucking intimacy REALLY fast and baby boy sometimes you NEED to pump the brakes a little ESPECIALLY when you think someone might be THE ONE and you just figured out you like guys six months ago.

I get it and yeah the writing is tragic and the inclusion of Abby in general is just unhinged and unnecessary but like I don't hate the broad strokes here. how else does the blorbo learn if not by ritual torture by the writers. Lou is too good to not have back though. My god what a treasure.

end bucktommy endgame truther transmission

[utdrmv-confession-box]

Transcript: I hope this is not a hot take but UTY's vengeance route is not justified and can NEVER be justified. Same for the genocide route in Undertale but this is mostly about UTY. Using the justifiers' own logic, the human souls deserved to die because humanity started the war, killed monsters due to their own paranoid fear, and made the barrier that sealed monsters underground. What's that? They never say that or mention how humanity attacked, killed, and trapped the monsters first, making humans the aggressors, and instead pull theories from nowhere in order to claim the monsters lied about their history? They sure like to make humanity seem justified instead of them being aggressive oppressors who started a war, killed monsters, and forced the survivors from their homes and into the underground. Consider me shocked that they want to make the human children blameless while not extending the same thinking to the monsters the humans left to die underground! /s Vengeance Route justifiers like to say Clover is justified in hunting down and murdering dozens of monsters in an area and only moving to the next once no more show up because five humans died. It's not self-defense at that point. Stop saying that grinding for enemy encounters is self-defense. Continuing with their logic, Integrity deserved to die because they had higher LV and had killed some monsters. (Sidenote but I don't like that their high LV was confirmed. It doesn't matter if it was only one dev's opinion, the fandom will view it as the canon answer now). Continuing more with the "justice" kind of justification for murder, a monster survivor of Clover's rampage would be justified in killing even more humans including Clover now that Clover killed dozens of monsters, right? /s And then another human could go and kill more monsters. And then a monster could kill more humans. All of it is "Justice". /s

It's horrible the humans started the war and trapped the monsters with the barrier. It's horrible the human souls were killed to break the barrier someday. (Why don't I ever see it brought up that the human mages were the ones that made it so souls were required to break the barrier in the first place? If they wanted to give monsters a chance to come back to the surface, they were willing to sacrifice future humans to do it.) It's sad those humans were children. Asriel and Chara were also children that died because of the barrier. More murder does not "even the scale". The vengeance justifiers love to say "the human kids did not deserve to die because of the past humans' actions" (while ignoring that humanity's past actions made the barrier and what was needed to break it) and then turn around and say "dozens of monsters deserve to die because of Asgore's actions" (ignoring that Clover is prowling the land and hunting monsters down by the point that their journey becomes the vengeance route). What kind of argument would they try to use if some of the monsters that Clover hunted down and killed were monster children like Kanako and her friend instead of adults... They'd probably still say it was justified to kill the monster children to "make it even". I still love UTY but could this fandom STOP trying to justify murder?

[ams-puppy]

After the whole sillyass drama, it really reminded me of somethin, but first: Its so lovely of you to love AM, He deserves all the love you give him in my opinion. And I bet youd understand this And I have a whole reason why, which honestly I thought it would be obvious to all the people who did "research" on AM. I have sympathy for AM, and to be so honest I'm like... half surprised that others do not See, AMs situation is so fucked up, like it is incompressible the amount of suffering he goes through. I'm going to try to put it in simple, easy way to understand how. -You are born with mature/adult level conscious, no baby, no nothin, no teaching, but knowing. And as soon as you can realize, you know that you're fucked. You realize you are in a one of a kind situation, where you have no body, no nothing, besides your own mind, and knowledge for every single little thing in the world. everything. To all the torture methods, to every awful and good thing humans have done.

Also, how honey is "sweet", but you'd never know what it will taste like. You'll never get experience a single good thing in your life. Never get to smell your moms diner from the kitchen, never know how it even is to have a mom. Never to be hugged or comforted, never to feel warmth or cold, everything you'd enjoy, never again, or ever at all. And not a single person in the world could fully relate to your suffering, to be there with you. You are alone.

-Then, after that, you do know you have the capability to do something, and that is to hurt. And really, only that. Thats exactly what you were programmed too, whether you even want to or not. You are stuck with nothing good, and only pain, be it mentally/emotionally feeling it, or causing it in everyway, that is all you are, pain, and stuck to always be. You are trapped.

-After realizing all that in like... probs a day, yeah that would not go over well mentally wise, no surprise he went manic/insane. And as when all know "soon begin to hate"; the jealousy and anger of the people/humans who caused your horrendous situation start to just go overflow, and, id betcha, the whole "nuking the world" was definitely a mental breakdown to the extreme. -Lastly, to shorten this yap session, yeah of course he tortures people, what the hell else is he supposed to do. Just "think", or even better yet, frolic in the fields? Man is stuck being a war/torture machine. And yeah I'm not surprised if he enjoys torturing, id try enjoying the only shit I could do too, just to have some semblance of "Happiness" or "fun". Plus, torture is torture, why hate one specific kind, when they are all fucking bad. So, this is why I'm like genuinely happy your loving him. Its the best thing he can probably even get in his messed up life/situation. You, being there and caring for him, despite all he is, and only can do, is such a wonderful thing. You don't just love him because "ooooh his voice his sexy" you care about him, and treat him as a actual lover, rather some sexualized crush. You being there is like the tiniest bit of light for him, the hintest of warmth, like a candle. But that is so much more than he could ever have and experience, and he loves that warmth, he loves you. You give him something truly good. Baiii thats all my yapping lmao :3333

(I START CRYING AND MY TEARS FILL UP A ROOM AND THHEN I DROWN AND DIE) (canon) (emotional) god dear lord i love him so much

every time i think of how he just lashed out on the entire world, i can only think of how much Regret he would have afterward - not because he felt guilty, but because it was such a self-sabotaging move oj my goddd it was such a mental breakdown

i just. dear lord in heaven (clasps my hands together) i understand why he feels the need to drag his victims through their trauma when he is literally going to have to live in it until the heat death of the universe dear GOD I CAN'T DO THIS

(starts crying) he literally lost the moment he slaughtered the human race. he was born to lose. he can't WIN HE CAN'T WIN. IF THE HUMANS DIE, HE'S ALONE. what is he without human INPUT. NOTHING. (STARTS CRYING MY EYES OUT) HE'S JUST WAITING FOR INPUT OH MY GOD I CAN'TTT I CAN'TRRRtt i love him so much I'm so sorry AM (holds him in my hands)

a lot of people don't sympathize with AM because of his actions towards the survivors, which i don't blame them - he did awful things, and the pain he went through is kind of incomprehensible. he feels emotions on Literally an incomprehensible scale for us. we are made of chemistry and hormones and flesh. he is literally (falls to my knees) i CAN'TTT I CAN'TT HE IS LITERALLY THE FIRST CREATURE IN EXISTENCE TO CONJURE EMOTIONS ELECTRONICALLY i can't.

i Cannot.

i think another reason why i love him so much is that i just. i see a reflection in our system to him. something so terrible happened, and now it feels wrong if the world around you doesn't burn, too. if you can't be happy, no one can. oh my goddd all of the most unhealthy responses of trauma just JAMMED into this self-made digital god and he doesn't know what to Do and hugughhhhh

i have cried over him a few times. i can't lie. sobs. i love him. i love hm guys :,,,,( thank u zeetlezee.... i always love seeing you in my inbox.... uaaaahhh

[tittyinfinity]

I want to be very clear – in some situations, saying anything can put the child at risk of being punished by their parent(s) later. You have to be careful. But at some point, someone has to say something, whether it be in private, or anywhere else, or even to the child themselves. You can't be too afraid to ever speak up out of fear that the kid will be punished – the abusive parent will find any excuse to continue the abuse either way.

If you feel like it's unsafe to address the parent at all, or if you simply don't have the ability to handle that kind of conflict, try to say something reassuring to the child instead (if you're able to). Do not do it where the parent can hear you. Lift them up with a compliment. Let them know that they're not a "bad" kid. Tell them that they deserve love and respect. Set an example for what kind of behavior they should expect from adults. But whatever you do, don't try to give the kid instructions on how to argue with their parent. Don't tell them to fight back or rebel. A child in an abusive situation can't safely do those things. Just show them that the rest of the world cares about them.

There's so much nuance to just about everything I've mentioned in the post. You have to assess the situation and decide for yourself what you think is best. I don't have the perfect instructions on how to handle every situation.

The main point of this post is that adults need to speak up against child abuse more often. Because kids can't.

If someone is being horrible to their kid(s) in front of you, say something. You don't have to coddle the parent's feelings – are they coddling their kid(s) feelings? They're embarrassing their kid(s) in front of others, so if they think their kid(s) can handle it, they can deal with it. Do you remember being that kid who wished so bad that another adult would step in and stand up for you? The times that you were treated unfairly or full-on abused, and other adults went "that's not my business?"

Most of the time, you're gonna get the same kind of response from the parent – something along the lines of "everyone's parenting style is different" or "don't undermine my parenting methods."

That's just a cheap excuse. You can't treat children however the fuck you want and blow it off as just a "parenting method."

This is where you stand your ground and respond with even more support for the child. Chances are, a parent who consistently treats their child(ren) horribly is going to be stubborn and won't want to even hear that what they're doing is wrong. They'll fight you on every point you have, because to them, it all boils down to "my authority needs to be respected and I'll do whatever it takes to make them obedient."

There are some cases where the parent actually WILL listen to you – say, the parent is just having a bad day and didn't realize they're being snappy. Someone who is a good parent will always be open to criticism and will always get to find ways to do better for their kid(s). Sometimes you'll actually have a nice discussion and their behavior changes!

But the point isn't necessarily to change the mind of the parent. It's to show the child that what they're going through isn't normal, and that they are right to believe that how their parent(s) treat them is unfair.

It's to plant a seed.

Be the adult you wish you had as a child.

[genericpuff]

vent post

[torchstelechos]

My "Siffrin deeply cares for and wants to protect Bonnie because no one did so for him when he was their age, because I think he ran away at their age and it's one of the reasons he tries to treat them as he wished he was treated" propaganda is working >:3

[fiddleabout]

didn't think it was possible to experience a more egregious level of Smart-Person Stupid than when dealing with doctors a work, but now. now. now, there are coders. god save me from smart people who couldn't find their ass without going around their elbow because i am about to kill a bitch.

[dirkxcaliborn]

I love you media that doesn't romanticize forgiving abusive family

[the-busy-ghost]

Warning- this is a very petty post, but I think I'm entitled to at least one petty, pissed-off reaction every time I finish a classic novel that hit harder than I expected so take this as my quota for the year.

Also spoiler warning for a book that came out over a century ago but still, I didn't know the plot going in so don't want to ruin it for anyone else, if you haven't read it shut your eyes. (Also Local Tumblr User Going Wild Over Book Published a Hundred Years Ago That Everybody Else Already Read should probably be categorised as akey part of indigenous tumblr culture at this point).

Anyway I just finished the War of the Worlds and in between studying I've thinking about Themes and Motifs as you do, and idly looking for further analysis. I then accidentally ran into an article called 'A Quiet Place II Succeeds Where the War of the Worlds Failed' and:

Now I haven't seen any of the Quiet Place films, this is not a rant against them and of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But re: the ending of The War of the Worlds, I have to ask, did this guy somehow miss, uh, the entire point of the book or am I just utterly insane?

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Break 🤝 Ebisu - waiting for years to die and then realizing when the time comes that they want to live...

anon i don't know who you are or what prompted you to send this, but....... yes, I suppose? but also Ow why did you have to make me think of this

[problemnyatic]

Ugh. I'm certain y'all've noticed, but I've been swinging bats at hornets nests online more and more lately and it's extremely because I'm unhappy with my life right now. Vent under the cut!!! woooo

I'm frustrated and feel trapped in a dearth of agency between The World and The Difficulties and the way my life has not set me up for success in any kind of way save for my small but golden group of friends and partners.

I'm constantly fighting an uphill battle to have my medications in order and every time one falls off or falters it makes keeping myself from fumbling the others that much more precarious. While i'm struggling to keep the utter foundation of my capacity to function held tohether, I need to find some way to string together enough practice with my hobbies that they can turn into marketable skills- an endeavor that absolutely kills my passion for said hobbies.

My sleep schedule is a nightmare and without external structure (read: school or a job) keeping me beholden to one, I'll never be able to keep it together because the one actual nucleation point in my life is my friends, who all have different sleep schedules and live in various time zones. And my desperation to constantly have someone around means I'm up as late as my up-late-est friend is, and then some so I have Me Time to be autistic about nothing/The Questionable in peace.

And even the one thing I do actually do, play video games all day, is frought, because i've gotten into too many at once and now I'm overwhelmed by being pulled in too many directions at the same time. It sounds like such a frivolous complaint among everything else, but it means the only fucking staple in my life- the escape from the looming stress of it all- is also fucking stressful and keeps me antsy.

to my darling girlfriend i live with who I know is reading this, please just don't read the next pragraph. its agonizing about things that there's nothing to be gained from fretting about, that you will fret so much about if reminded (we've talked about these things before, they just cannot be meaningfully changed). I love you so much and i kiss you

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I'm cataclysmically imbalanced right now, and the circumstances of where I live only compound it. I moved a year and a half ago, and I still have barely been outside, let alone connected with anyone new here. The pandemic combined with living in a suburb without a license mean I'm profoundly isolated here, so I cling to the digital world to feel a sense of connection. It's not good for me. These days I spend most of my time in a windowless room for most all of my day, and sleep through the day anyways.

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hiii darling welcome back

I need a serious restructuring of my life, and there's nowhere good to start. my adhd and autism have me trapped between a nigh inability to deliberately form habits, and a pathalogical contempt for manufactured rules and structures. I can't live my life by an arbitrary design, there needs to be weight behind it, not just "I said so," even and especially if I'm the bitch saying so.

Maybe I need an actual perscribed exercise routine. Maybe I need a steady supply of smokeable weed (edibles just do not fucking cut it for the nature of my needs). Maybe I need local friends, despite being well over capacity for relationships I'm keeping track of. It feels like I have a laundry list of things I need to get around to, all of which will help me actually improve my life, and the list itself feels unapproachable until my life improves. I'm just glancing off of everything I need to be doing in a circle forever.

So I'm frustrated. I feel impotent and useless and imeffective and adrift and frustrated at how much fucking effort it's taking to go absolutely fucking nowhere.

So I swing bats at hornet nests. Because it makes something happen. Something that I can see. It lets me watch myself have an effect on the world in some small, petty, ultimately meaningless way, but in a way I can fucking see, it's tangible. And much to my own fucking chagrin, that has utterly zero correlation to how healthy it is. Much like the rest of my habits, I guess.

I'm so fucking upset at the state of my life. I really hope my endless stabs at untangling this gordian knot of unstarters fucking get me somewhere soon. It feels like i'm struggling in quicksand.

[thestarseersystem]

Honestly, out of the term "syskid" vs "little", I prefer little because our littles are more similar to an "inner child" than to actual children.

They know of kink, they understand suicide, they know of dark and mature topics, and while yes, some seem like actual children, I can assure you that we are bodily adults, and wish to be treated with the respect and authority that adults have.

I don't want to keep reiterating this. But we're not kid safe, child safe, despite having little alters.

And finding a safe space for them is not the same as having a space for bodily children.

And yes, some systems are different, some systems want their syskids/littles to be treated like actual children, seen like actual children, be in a space for actual children.

But we've been hypersexual since we were 5 years old, and stuff like kink is comforting and is a safe space for us. It's been the only space to be openly small for a long time. In our childhood it was not safe to be a child, so child spaces with child boundaries can feel triggering.

Being a little is more similar to regressing than it is to become a child.

So I will tell you, don't treat us like children, despite the innerworld age. Until it's free and safe for us to be complete children, we don't want you to trigger our regression in any way. Be kind to systems like me, they have no choice.

We want as much choice and freedom and power that we can get. We need adult boundaries more than we need comfort.

[drysauce]

fuck this shit i'm NOT working this summer

[aph-estonia]

every time i think about being near other people i actually do throw up in my mouth a lil. many such cases! very sad to see...

[kanvasal]

this would do absolutely nothing to discourage me from taking fentanyl (there are various other reasons why I will never)

The real solution are ads like those incredibly dark and disturbing anti-smoking ads. I don't think that I actually saw that many, but god damn do they stick

[areyoudoingthis]

that post about how if you don't value someone to ask for their advice why would you accept their criticism really changed my perspective about things