#just sheer vibes
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aph-estonia · 1 month ago
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every time i think about being near other people i actually do throw up in my mouth a lil. many such cases! very sad to see...
#.txt#YOUUU HATE PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU'RE 14 AND THAT'S JUST WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE 14#I AS A TOTALLY STRONG BEAUTIFUL AND CAPABLE ADULT AM SO MUCH MORE PATHETIC WHEN MY THOUGHTS AND#FEELINGS AND OPINIONS ON TOTAL STRANGERS CAUSES REAL LIFE GENUINE NAUSEA#i deserve to be on welfare. i deserve to be paid for doing literally nothing. i deserve to be a leech. i#i need to find a way to safely talk to other people without going back to school and/or getting a stupidly hard 9-5 (IM SO PATHETICALLY WEAK#and/or .... going to one of those mental hospitals with rehab centers or whatevrr....... yeah i don't wanna do it i do think it'd make me#it'd make me worse and not get better#slowly trying to force ego death rn unfortunately i'm so fucking dense braindead and stubborn it's actually so hard#in situations where my peers got groomed i was unaffected due to just not caring enough hashtag like a boss ok anyways#'uuuu this creepy guy texted me' 'oh he texted me too but i started talking about pokemon and then we started talking about pokemon :D'#'did he want nudes...?' 'yeah but i don't really care cuz it's not about pokemon'#'did he bother u about it?' 'i think i bothered him more with my shiny hunting tbh ngl desu'#now take this sheer density and apply it to other scenarios and situations in life and beyond. and feel free to remove the pokemon parts too#just sheer vibes#i can't just kill my ego it wants to live#i can't just kill these demons they want to live! and i've been tolerating them for so long and i hate being wrong grrrrrrgrr#dude i have an actual fuckign . hallucination creature who just stopped talking to me because i didn't care enough to talk to it so it just#kind of . sits around and does nothing but be visible to me#'you should kill yourself NOW' 'i meant in real life' 'I MEANT IN REAL LIFE!!!!' 'wtfff this woman won't listen to me i give uppp' basically#whatever i heart rambling i'm like 1.2k in debt i hate my stupid chungus life i hope i get nuked entangled in my lovers embrace and#and they can't fucking bear to tear us apart#yeah. just like that. bitch#consequences n shit#bitch ...
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podcastwizard · 1 month ago
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oddthesungod · 9 months ago
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In your arms again 💙💚
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shalom-iamcominghome · 1 month ago
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sevastiel · 17 days ago
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Behold, the Orowyrm of Desperation.
Frequently mistaken for rage until the black mist sets in, entrapping Duviri in a nightmare like no other. Many say the liminus come from this beast, and indeed, when it's maw encompasses the sky, liminus rise from the depths of Duviri and terrorize all that remain outside, answering to its earth shattering howls.
Guardian Spiral Drifter's orowyrm, if he was to have one.
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camplease · 1 year ago
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almost didn’t add pyrrha and offered to make a follow up poll to pit the winner against her because i already knew it was gonna be a pyrrha sweep. but you know what maybe i’m wrong let’s see
also some of these feel like obviously wrong answers to me but my curiosity usually wins out over reason
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not-equippedforthis · 1 year ago
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H: can i wear...sunglasses and ear defenders?
W: yeah, wear whatever you want, mate.
H: ...fine.
W: hmm ^^
deadass what if i just started crying
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vaguely-concerned · 11 months ago
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there are a lot of daddy issues to go around on DS9 in general, but odo, bashir and garak are really in their own special little fucked up 'what am I but wrought in my father's image' club
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see-arcane · 4 months ago
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I am truly thankful that she is to be left out of our future work, and even of our deliberations. It is too great a strain for a woman to bear. I did not think so at first, but I know better now. [...] I daresay it will be difficult to begin to keep silence after such confidence as ours; but I must be resolute, and to-morrow I shall keep dark over to-night's doings, and shall refuse to speak of anything that has happened.
Jonathan, no, don't give into the guys' peer pressure noooo
It is strange to me to be kept in the dark as I am to-day; after Jonathan's full confidence for so many years, to see him manifestly avoid certain matters, and those the most vital of all. This morning I slept late after the fatigues of yesterday, and though Jonathan was late too, he was the earlier. He spoke to me before he went out, never more sweetly or tenderly, but he never mentioned a word of what had happened in the visit to the Count's house. And yet he must have known how terribly anxious I was. Poor dear fellow! I suppose it must have distressed him even more than it did me. They all agreed that it was best that I should not be drawn further into this awful work, and I acquiesced. But to think that he keeps anything from me! And now I am crying like a silly fool, when I know it comes from my husband's great love and from the good, good wishes of those other strong men.
[...] Well, some day Jonathan will tell me all; and lest it should ever be that he should think for a moment that I kept anything from him, I still keep my journal as usual. Then if he has feared of my trust I shall show it to him, with every thought of my heart put down for his dear eyes to read.
Mina, no, you have to communicate now, in the present, you're you, you can un-acquiesce, you can break the curse, just talk to Jonathan now, noooooo
GOD this is masterfully infuriating work, Bramward Stokerbroker. Here we have on paper just how much this new status quo--the 'proper' status quo--grates against both of them. You can almost hear them grinding their teeth with the effort to keep smiling and nodding through this unanimous* decision. They know it is For Mina's Sake that they are doing this. Sure, they both hate every second of it and it breaks a loving rhythm they've shared for years together, BUT THEY KNOW BETTER NOW :)))
(Lucy is screaming in the afterlife. Renfield has his head in his hands.)
But all that aside, a thing I'm hooked on this read-around is the fact that, hey. We are reading this. Spoiler, but the entirety of Dracula is actually compiled together by Mina after the story closes. These are all written documents we're reading that the entire group has laid eyes on already. With everyone (bar Art and Quincey for some reason, thanks Mr. 3 Lines Allowed and Mr. Laconic :/, Jack is just talking and waiting for Mina to transcribe now, augh) on duty in some way to record the progress of things so that they can be read later as reference...I have to wonder now.
How honest are these pages the Harkers are putting down now versus what they wrote before joining Van Helsing's Scooby gang? Neither one is writing in shorthand. It's all plain English.
I had a class once where one of the assignments was to keep a daily journal. One page filled out every single day, about anything. Anyone want to guess how many personal secrets or honest feelings I put in those pages for the guy grading my class to read? If you said anything higher than 0 you're wrong.
The Harkers have an audience to worry about right now. An audience of Prof. Et Cetera, Dr. Asylum Director (whose asylum they're currently living in! the kind of place where Jonathan could've ended up and innumerable women have been imprisoned for being women the Wrong Way! whee!), Incredibly Wealthy and Empowered Lord, and Mr. Likewise Rich 'We Should Do Guns About It' American. Who all seem to like them, fresh-from-the-lower class, industrious and Dracula-confronting sorts that they are. Fast friends, all of them.
(Jonathan is still only Harker to them. Simultaneously the Man Who Survived Castle Dracula and the gofer guy doing the footwork and the paperwork/property hunt while Van Helsing hits the library and the others...well, I'm sure they're doing something. Other than re-reading the first half of Dracula.)
(...Which was compiled and transcribed by Mina. Who faced down Dracula in her jammies. Unarmed. At night. For Lucy. But she can't handle your scary stories about the houses full of dirt boxes, let alone join you on the hunt she was explicitly prepared and eager to help with. Can't risk it, little lady, off to bed now.)
This is where they are now that they've ~joined forces~ with Van Helsing and the Suitor Squad. After all they've done, all they're still relied on to do, the Harkers are with allies who have had their acquaintance for less than three days. And now, to appease those allies and their opinions and to keep everything placid with these nice, outnumbering, socially and monetarily endowed parties, they do what they've always done when faced with the fact of their being perpetually on the low rung of the ladder.
The Harkers accommodate. Including in their own diaries, as these too are now deemed forfeit important to the Cause, should the gang need to comb back through it all for clues.
That's why the Harkers are the only ones writing it down--because they already were. They're the kids in the group project who can be trusted to do the work. So just let them keep doing it. Keep an accurate record now, kids! You do such a good job of it, we'd only be getting in the way, ha ha. Remember that we can and will read everything you put down in the future.
Hence: All of what we read today. And will read in the dates to come.
The Harkers are writing under a (friendly) gun right now. They can purge some feelings, but not all of them. And not completely. And not in any way that certain doctors and upper class people of power they barely know might misconstrue as ungrateful or mad in any sense. The Harkers are good people. The Harkers are helpful. The Harkers are team players even if that means no longer being a team themselves. They chafe a little at this, but it's all so new to them! It's alright. God's will and Van Helsing's be done. They know better now.
With all this in mind, it makes much more sense why Jonathan chooses to use shorthand for a Very Particular Entry we see coming up. An entry that Mina alone could read and decide to enter in the distant future, after the storm had passed.
And why, in light of all that happens, he cannot trust himself to put more than a vignette's worth of lines down as time goes on. Not if he wants to keep himself from laying out some actual honesty for everyone to read. Mina's entries will be weightier things, while she still has the capacity to write--carefully. Always carefully.
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mendely · 11 months ago
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Ryoko Kui and Vivienne Medrano are like artistically polar opposites in every way it's so morbidly interesting to me
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presidentofthelipglossclub · 11 months ago
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heatwave and optimus are such an underrated comedic duo. every single time they are in the same vicinity as each other everything immediately goes to shit. this is i think because they are both primus's blorbos, and in true blorbo fashion, must suffer. greatly. anyway this leads to some very fun interactions such as:
heatwave, newly appointed leader of like every rescue bot, on his first day as a secret alien on earth, immediately deciding he wants to leave right after accepting optimus's orders. and when he can't do that, he starts talking to people because he has no fear i guess.
optimus prime, leader of the cybertronian race, chosen by primus, and guy who says "nothing much, double dutch" in response to an extremely casual greeting in a very formal situation in front of his child (heatwave), presumably to embarrass said child.
heatwave, recent student of optimus's old friend who is a respected and decorated war veteran as well as a long time rescue bot, calling optimus (WHO IS FRIENDS WITH THIS GUY) just to bitch at him.
optimus prime, protector of civilians and humanity, fully prepared to watch a game show (created by blades and chase) in which a human child gets electrocuted. (there was a misunderstanding involving the term "lightning round" in trivia).
heatwave, rescue team leader, assigned to protect humans, straight up just driving off a cliff into the ocean with no warning, with his human partner who is screaming, all to win a race.
optimus prime, by now nearly a godlike figure, adopted father of all the rescue bots, also a terrible communicator, ghosting his kids for four years (get it. ghost. bc he died.) and then not explaining ever.
like literally i could go on but they are total messes and it's hilarious. where is all the content of incredibly chaotic and weird father daughter bonding for heatwave and optimus. they are so funny.
(yes i meant to type daughter bc heatwave gives off eldest daughter energy ok. no other reason for the shit he pulls.)
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itzmellooo · 5 months ago
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Lumity week day 3: Betrayal 😔💔💔
Amity I believe that donut was claimed by Luz...
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lavender-rroses · 11 months ago
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gay blindness
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daily-smol-silm · 5 months ago
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Day #74 - ELVES
ELVES.
Emoticons in text form (feel free to copy + paste):
<(o - o)>
<(o//-//o)>
<(⟡ 0 ⟡)>
<(⟡ v ⟡)>
<(⟡ - ⟡)>
<(o ∧ o)>
<(o v o)>
<(o ~ o)>
<(o ⏟ o)>
<(o ∪ o)>
<(⏜ v ⏜)>
<(T - T)>
<(∼ - ∽)>
<(o ⥿ o)>
<(⪫ ~ ⪪)>
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demon-of-the-ancient-world · 11 months ago
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I fucking loved Paul's feral chihuahua energy in that final fight scene though. He's just going for it. From like, both an acting perspective but also a character thing, he clearly gives zero fucks at that point and it is FASCINATING to see. The image of him staggering around with two knives in him still like "fuck you I fucking won" is so powerful like??? this is a dangerous dude and you SEE that
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inafieldofdaisies · 5 months ago
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The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024) | Alex Pettyfer as Geoffrey Appleyard | (3-?)
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