#Because people in the future will look back at Eurovision from this year and would see the flag

[midnanoire]

all non participating countries have their flags banned at eurovision

I'm well aware. I wrote that in the translation.

[foxglovepng]

Random Headcannons 3 🌼🥀

Requested: naw

Characters: Scarabia + Pomefiore

A/N: I'm getting back into the writing mood yay I'll probably take requests in the future because I am slowly getting over writer's block. I looked up a word in Arabic and if the word is incorrectly translated incorrectly feel free to correct me.

If you liked reblogs and likes are appreciative <3

Kalim

Knock knock who's there? Autism br br br where the hoes at? not here

I love my Autistic headcanon for Kalim. I also saw a headcanon he has ADHD too. (I forgot the word for ADHD and Autism combined help)

When he's unmedicated Jamil is that one meme of Shinji his stress levels are high. He's practically lived with Kalim so he knows he can get hyper although he pushes through it being used to it.

I headcanon Kalim has sensory issues that mainly have to do with touch. (Mine are sound and taste :skull:)

Since he likes parties and is extremely sociable I feel like sometimes he can get overwhelmed he chills in his sensory swing. I also feel like since he plays the drums he does have backup headphones on hand in case it's too loud.

Jamil tends to calm him down with essential oils (Don't ask me what kind he likes I only know Rosemary, and Cherry blossom)

Jamil

Jamil drop the hair routine or I'll break your ankles Sangwoo style so you can't dance anymore. I will even report your music-listening account so you are no longer allowed to play hip hop DROP THE ROUTINE RN JAMIL

This is my no 2 pookie bear I love him sm ANYWAYS

I feel like in his alone time Jamil has his own hobbies he hides from Kalim and will go above and beyond just to have them to himself. One of those I feel like is reading romance books (Not the feral ones booktok gooners read) romance is one of the genres he reads I feel like he also reads fantasy. (He has read Pride and Prejudice)

He'd probably also go to art conventions on his spare time. He has a sketchbook and draws on occasion (I think he draws similar to Hyunjin's style)

Him and Kalim speak Arabic and English although I feel like when Jamil wants to cuss someone out or insult someone he will bring the Arabic out.

*Ace messes up a play*

Ace: so um great play

Jamil: اهبل (Google says this means stupid/idiot)

Ace: HUH?

Vil

*Throws my genderqueer headcannon at you Eminem style*

Gender queer Icon Vil.

If I am correct he is referred to as Queen by Rook?? so I believe Vil doesn't really care for pronouns and just simply exists. So Vil would use any pronouns interchangeably.

Also random headcannon but Vil's father is like..famous right? So I feel like he gets insulted and called a Nepo baby.

Peep Epel and Vil get into a fight and Epel calls him a Nepo baby. Oh all hell is breaking loose.

(I also headcannon he'd make an appearance in Eurovision)

Rook

I need Frenchie to become a slur so I can shout FRENCHIE at Rook 24/7

This man either has a really good memory or a diary in which he keeps info of students. (Their height, weight, UM, etc) its freaky ngl. AND NOT A GOOD FREAKY WAY.

I saw some art of him and Floyd in the bathroom and he was peeking over the urinal. BRO KEEP YA EYES ON YA JUNK.

I can imagine certain NRC students have a group chat dedicated to slandering Rook.

He probably knows about it :Skull:

Epel

Guys this my son <3

I am a firm believer he is an Amish hater.

"I hate the way you talk the way you walk" ahh beat.

From a farmer's perspective I don't think he's 100% vegan, but if you bribe him with bbq he will start foaming at the mouth.

Bro probably listens to Dixon Dallas good looking-

He's also a Dolly Parton and Carrie Underwood fan.

I feel like with people he's close with especially the first years he lets his country accent loose and it will get even looser if someone (or Yuu) has a country accent as well. The rest of the first years will be like "They are speaking in tongues"

[popblank]

Eurovision Semifinal 2 viewing notes: 

Haha, the pre-show screen is displaying “GOOD TO GO!” I am both amused and annoyed that the new guy’s catchphrase might be growing on me.

Denmark, Reiley, “Breaking My Heart” – For a song where so much of it is in his upper register, his voice is not particularly strong there.  

Oh look it’s Daði Freyr in the green room.

Armenia, Brunette, “Future Lover” – Very cool staging, really good use of lights and projections. Sounded good as well.

Romania, Theodor Andrei, “D.G.T (Off and On)” – Theodor Andrei looks like quite the theater kid. Glad they went in a different direction than the national final performance though I am not sure if it presents the song to its best advantage.

Estonia, Alika, “Bridges” – Very good singing. Another uncomplicated staging that relies heavily on the performer and she is carrying it well.

Belgium, Gustaph, “Because of You” – I like that the backing singers are prominently featured onstage and in the performance. Very solid though I can’t remember the song when it’s done.

Scooch! I have much warmer feelings toward them than I do for Dustin the Turkey.

Cyprus, Andrew Lambrou, “Broken Heart” – I see we’re steadily moving along on the spectrum of masculine presentation in this semifinal. Seems like vocals are much stronger overall tonight so far, though I do hear a noticeable backing singer in parts.

Iceland, Diljá, “Power” – Hmm, started well, but she started at 99% and kept turning things up. It’s a very physical performance which feels just a little bit out of control.

Greece, Victor Vernicos, “What They Say” – Greece feels rather similar to Iceland in terms of performance, except with a little more anxiety.  The outfit makes him look his age.

Poland, Blanka, “Solo” – It was better than expected, I guess.

Slovenia, Joker Out, “Carpe Diem” – I had a lingering headache before this show and the wobbly side-to-side camera work here is not helping. Singing was good, but it was hard to watch.

Georgia, Iru, “Echo” – Her costuming and styling looks good. It was very dramatic (as expected) but the song has a odd lack of momentum. The chorus gets old quickly.

San Marino, Piqued Jacks, “Like An Animal” – The performance seems to be leaning a bit into the sleaziness which is probably not a bad approach, especially since the lead singer sings well and manages to pull off "sleazy” without straying into “creepy.”

Austria, Teya & Salena, “Who the Hell is Edgar?” – I like the color scheme.  They sound very good singing together and I usually like it when the LED displays are used to create the effect of having lots of backing dancers.

Albania, Albina & Familja Kelmendi, “Duje” – As songs performed by vocal groups at Eurovision go, this is pretty decent, is refreshingly straightforward in its concept, and seems extremely Albanian.

Lithuania, Monika Linkyté, “Stay” – The chorus has a nice swing, and I just like the sound of a group of women singing (see also: Portugal 2022). Improves upon the official video performance.

Australia, Voyager, “Promise” – The songs may or may not be better tonight, but the average vocal performance in this semi with only a few exceptions seems to be far and away better than in the first semifinal (and Australia is one of the better ones).  Not sure about the car but it does seem to fit with the cheesy neon ‘80s vibe.

Interval act: I think this may be the first time in years of watching Eurovision when I would have liked a commentator to provide background details.  It was enjoyable but I would like to put some names to the historical faces.

Hannah Waddingham seems to be having a great time as a host.

That was a fun performance, yet I can’t help but be reminded that fearful and narrow-minded people in many US states would like to make that illegal.

I can hardly believe they even thought about doing the finalist announcements on stage, and am very glad they reconsidered. I do not want to see the cameras wringing pathos from images of disappointed non-qualifiers, and I absolutely do want to see the joy of a contestant being engulfed in hugs and flags by their delegation.

[reuna]

Once again seeing discussions about how Russia was banned from ESC because of their broadcaster somehow, conveniently, breaking rules at the same time people were demanding it would be banned because of Ukraine. I'm getting so fucking tired of this. Sent an email to EBU.

Hi. In your statement about why Russia was banned from Eurovision but israel is not, you write that  We are aware of the many voices calling to exclude Israel from this year’s competition in the same way as we excluded the Russian broadcaster in 2022 following the invasion of Ukraine. Comparisons between wars and conflicts are complex and difficult and, as a non-political media organization, not ours to make. In the case of Russia, the Russian broadcasters themselves were suspended from the EBU due to their persistent breaches of membership obligations and the violation of public service values (https://eurovision.tv/mediacentre/frequently-asked-questions-israel-24). However, we live in a time where every statement made in the past can be googled very easily, and find eg. this article by the Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2022/dec/30/eurovision-chief-russia-ban-stands-for-ultimate-values-democracy In the article, Martin Österdahl states, that: The Eurovision chief has said Russia’s ongoing ban from the international song contest has been hard but the event should stand for “the basic and ultimate values of democracy”. Russia was banned from competing in the Eurovision song contest in 2022 after its invasion of Ukraine. Russia’s national broadcasters subsequently suspended their memberships of the European Broadcasting Union, which organises the show, preventing them from taking part in future contests. Speaking to Abba’s Björn Ulvaeus on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme, for which the Swedish songwriter was acting as guest editor, Eurovision’s executive supervisor, Martin Österdahl, was asked if the decision to exclude Russia had been hard to make. He said: “It was, and it still is. How Europe feels very much affects the contest. “It is also that when you look back in time, you see that the Eurovision song contest is like a logbook of what has happened in Europe, what the trends have been in Europe. “But, also, what is the kind of mood and sentiment of Europe, and what is the social context of Europe at the time. When we say we are not political, what we always should stand up for are the basic and ultimate values of democracy. Everyone is right to be who they are.” Am I to conclude from this statement, that EBU believes that racial discrimination and apartheid, constant war crimes israel itself proudly displays on social media, and actions that the ICJ itself deemed to plausibly add up to genocide are the basic and ultimate values of democracy? Eagerly awaiting you reply, (my name)

[sunlightbabe]

Hi there! So I just came across your kisses prompt list and so, do we just send in a request at any time? If so, I would love to see what you make of 33 and Damiano :). Also, hope you are having an awesome day!

hey hon! you can send in any request at any time, yes <3 in the future i'm sure i'll find some other prompt lists, so as long as you specify, i am more than happy to write whatever!! you're so sweet, my day has been Amazing and i hope yours was too!! xx

33) An unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it.

With bated breath, you watch as the band takes the stage and gets ready to perform at Eurovision.

It has been quite the journey to get here. You’ve been working with the band since before they won Sanremo earlier in the year, and to watch them get this far has truly been a blessing. The lights dim and you watch from backstage as Damiano captures the world’s attention. It’s... incredible, really. There’s no other way to describe it- from day one, you knew they all had a magnetizing stage presence but to watch them tonight, so see them truly own the stage like they belong there? It’s something you can’t put into words.

You love and appreciate them all but you can’t help but follow Damiano’s every step. You know he feels pressured to do well, like their chance of winning rests on his shoulders- the bands can’t perform live, per the show’s rules, but the singers? The singers were live and expected to sing their hearts out, and so you watch as he masterfully shares the stage with each band member in turn, making sure they each get their share of air time, putting all of himself into this show.

He’s amazing and your breath catches repeatedly in your throat as he stalks the stage, eyes intense, every single action and movement aimed at capturing the audience’s attention.

The song is close to ending and you know that they’ve done it. Who else has mastered the stage like this?

Damiano falls on the stage, a perfectly practiced moved, and you can feel the ground of the arena shake as the crowd goes absolutely wild. You’re sure that the entire world is going insane after a performance like that- you feel bad for the last couple of acts, because how could you compare to that?

The show is on a schedule and after the band finishes- each of them drenched in sweat and high on adrenaline- they are ushered backstage. You stand by the sidelines, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, watching as they smile and celebrate their act. None of you will know how well it went until the end of the night, but the band feels so good about themselves that it’s contagious, and all of you are cheering and celebrating already.

They take their time, jumping up and down in their excitement, chatting with other people on the crew. From across the small space, you catch Damiano’s eye and-

It’s like the world stops.

He’s sweating, chest heaving from the performance, eye makeup smudged just a little in a way that makes him look ever more beautiful than before. Your heart swells in your chest and you watch as he makes his way over to you- as he stalks over to you, like he was doing on stage earlier, and you can do nothing but stand there and wait for him to get closer.

You don’t even have the chance to say anything before he’s cupping your face in his hands and kissing you.

His eyes fall shut while yours are comically wide, mind slowly processing what’s happening. Damiano is kissing you. You had dreamed of this moment, but you had never thought it would really happen. Yet here you were, knees weak as Damiano kisses you, mouth moving insistently against yours, and you have enough sense to kiss him back before he pulls back, forehead resting against yours.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, voice a tad deeper than usual, and all you can do is blink as he licks his lower lip, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. “I’ve- It’s been a long time coming and I should have asked-”

You don’t let him finish. You claim his mouth with yours, tossing your arms over his shoulders, and you’re aware that someone is whistling behind you two, that a few people are clapping, but it’s hard to focus on anything that isn’t Damiano kissing you back, stepping closer until your back is against the wall. His tongue flicks against your mouth and you part your lips with a sigh-

“We need to get back out there,” you hear someone say behind him. Damiano moves away from you and you catch a look of annoyance on his face before he schools it into something more appropriate. 

He turns his attention to you and you feel your stomach clench in your stomach. “We’ll continue this later?” he asks you, voice soft as he nibbles on his lower lip, voice hopeful.

it takes you a moment to collect your thoughts. “Y.. yeah. Yes, of course.”

Damiano smirks, and it’s like looking at the sun, and he leans in to kiss you once more before he’s moving away entirely, following their manager and the rest of the band back to the main floor of the stadium.

You linger against the wall, bringing a hand up to your mouth, fingers lightly touching your lips.

You hear the next acts start to perform their song and it kicks you into action. You clear your throat, straighten our your clothes, and then you follow after the band, ready to see if the entirety of Europe appreciates their talent just as much as you do.

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#18)

#18: Jamala -- 1944 (Ukraine 2016)

“We could build a future Where people are free to live and love. The happiest time.”

While 1944 and Wild Dances (#41) are like day and night musically, there's one particular thread which draws them together, in that it draws from Ukraine's history to look forward to the present. Whereas the latter is almost a "coming-out" party for Ukraine and shows off their culture with gusto, 1944 goes back to that specific year to demonstrate their pain then and now during the war between the country and Russian separatists in the eastern part of the country.

I was familiar with the Russian-Ukrainian conflict because I followed Euromaidan while it was happening, and it looked like "people power" would win again. It turned out more complicated than that as the months went on. Thanks to a referendum, the Crimean peninsula became part of Russia in March 2014, which saw boycotts from pro-Ukrainian groups and the United Nations recognizing Crimea as Ukrainian (though a bunch of African countries, China, and Brazil are among the 58 countries who abstained resolution 68/262)

Now, Russia and Ukraine have clashed for several years; recently, we also had an influx of Russian troops on Ukraine's eastern border, and there's multiple fears of resurgence in terms of the conflict. There's a bit of debate on what to do next; a curious development was how both Russian and Ukrainian governments want to maintain the stalemate, and the United States stuck on how to help, if at all.

Therefore, 1944 cannot be fully severed from the political context it competed in, with the Ukrainians fighting for their decision in the international realm. This doesn’t take away from the tragedy of the events involved, though. The lyrics focus on the story of Jamala’s great-grandmother, who was among 191,000 others who were exiled from Crimea in 1944 with her five children, of which one didn’t survive. Very sparse yet blunt (especially with the line "you think you're all gods/but everyone dies"), they tell of the pain of separation and the struggle to survive. The Crimean Tatar chorus emphasizes this sorrow, as Jamala speaks of how her family cannot grow up there.

The sparse instrumentation, along with the duduk, help with painting the atmosphere involved. Like any good song, it builds on little by little, climaxing at an orchestrated crescendo in which Jamala lets it all out.

What also elevated this song to its heights was the staging. With a huge LED stage in Stockholm, the delegation used minimalistic light and screens to take us to that horrible time, almost as if it were a three-act play.

Act one starts with Jamala entering and introducing the story, and the LEDs stripping down to the beautiful gold flowers on the ground. Despite the beautiful scene, Jamala has some neat vocal improvisations during the chorus, which showcase her talent vocally. It suddenly ends, leading to the second act where Jamala is being sent away (playing the part of her great-grandmother, along with her children). The light bars and the dark atmosphere highlight the world falling apart all around her.

And then we have the part where Jamala wails (for her great-grandmother's lost child) and summons the LED tree has to be the definition of a “moment” for me. Just absolute perfection in how its conveyed, the representation of many years of pain and despair, juxtaposed with an image of hope for not only Crimean Tatars, but for all Ukrainians.

I don't usually come back to this song, but 1944 continues to be quite hard-hitting and compelling with every listen. It's also an important winner in the Eurovision cannon--it shifted the course back to more unique and sincere songs which the singer leaves their imprint on them. Thus we were able to get such winners such as Amar Pelos Dois, Toy (#134), and Zitti e Buoni (#75). It always toes on the line of controversy, but it holds down firm on its truths, and that's what's most important of them all.

Also, this was the right winner and I will not hear any arguments otherwise.

Personal ranking: 1st/42 Actual ranking: 1st/26 GF in Stockholm

Final Impressions on 2016: A lot of fans mention this as the "best contest ever", and on a production front, I cannot disagree! Two really good hosts, fun interval acts, and a sense of smoothness throughout the entire show. They demonstrate Sweden's love for Eurovision, as well as how well they could put things together. (This is why I don't advocate it to be the first contest a newbie watches--imagine going from "love love peace peace" to "Allora? Mister Naef? Meester Naef?!" The whiplash would be very intense.)

The songs were also good, though they showed another thing about the contest--the preponderance of pop. In addition, only three songs this year was completely in another language--and two of them didn't make the final. There was a globalized feel to the contest, which isn't a bad thing per se, but leads to quite a flattening of diversity. That said, most of the songs from the GF deserved it (emphasis on most), and it made for a good set.

And that's why 1944 winning is significant, as mentioned before. Not only for its shift to more authentic songs, but also another example of the underdog winning out. Russia (#141), Australia, France (#34), and Bulgaria (#158) were the main contenders, and they did all well, but would they have the same impact as Jamala had they won?

Also, the voting sequence was definitely something!

[montosmadman]

I was tagged by @soy-celeste ages ago. This was hard but also super rewarding because I really got to take a deep dive in the murky depths of my own music library. Thanks for thinking of me, Cata��

Task: choose TEN SONGS that describe your personal aesthetic / how you see yourself. Bonus points if you write a little explanation for each song, that‘s not a must though.

List under a read more because it turned out really long and includes some very personal and possibly triggering mental health stuff.

I'm tagging @capitanogiorgio @hendos @furiousflamewolf @checoswin and @diegoalvesisgod

1. Nakashima Mika - 僕が死のうと思ったのは

The title loosely translates to "The reason I thought I'd die" or "The time I thought I'd die". Yes, I went there right off the bat.

Let's get something straight: I'm not suicidal. I have never been actively suicidal, despite struggling with depression and anxiety most of my teenage/adult life. However, what this song captures for me is the feeling when you're not actively thinking about killing yourself, but you do have this empty feeling when you think there's no point for you being alive. And that's something I'm very familiar with.

There are a couple lines I wanna highlight, even though the whole song hits me very hard whenever I listen to it:

その木漏れ日でうたた寝したら、虫の死骸と土になれるかな

If I lie down beneath the sunlight streaming through the trees, will I become like the dirt and insect remains?

あなたのような人が生きてる世界に少し期待するよ

If people like you are living in this world, then maybe it’s alright to hope a little too.

The first line does what I talked about to above: it's the feeling when you just lie down and wonder if anything would change if you just disappeared. The second line -- last one of the song -- has more hope. It's when you find a reason to believe in the future and realize there is still a reason to live. Personally, I'm trying to hang very hard on that last thought even when the world seems to be against me.

(Full translation in a pinned comment under the Youtube video)

2. The Ark - Little Dysfunk You

No essay here. I just needed to have The Ark on the list because they're the official soundtrack of my life, the first band whose album I bought myself, and who taught me it was okay not to fit in. I even have a tattoo that says "a little dysfunk" because my best friend and I have been relating to this song long before either one of us realized we weren't neurotypical. It's the very dysfunctional ode to our friendship, and I love it.

3. Elton John - Rocket Man

I feel like this might be a universal experience growing up neurodiverse and/or an outsider. You spend years feeling like you're alone in space, on another planet, and you want to connect with people but at the same time know that once you come back, you still won't be the person others want or expect you to be. The challenge is to accept that and realize it's okay and you don't need to change yourself for others. And it really is hard when you're raised in a society where the odds are stacked against you.

4. Sanni - Jos mä oon oikee

Look, I'm giving you something in Finnish too!

Sanni is one of the Finnish artists whose breakthrough I originally missed because I was living abroad. I only properly discovered her a couple years after moving back, when I was driving a lot for my work and hence listening to the radio much more than I used to. Her songs just kept standing out from the rest: her lyrics had this amazing depth even when she was singing about mundane stuff -- like, she was finding these painful truths I hadn't ever spoken but felt very clearly.

That said, I had to choose the one song that's actually very upfront with this idea of being an outsider and not feeling like a part of this world. The title translates to "If I am real" and that pretty much sums it up. It's a song about feeling lonely in the middle of a crowded room, feeling like no one sees you or cares what you do. I personally have this habit of taking a step back and observing people rather than getting involved -- and even when I do, it rarely feels like it's really me out there, because I'm so used to masking and acting like everyone else just to fit in, you know?

I'll finish this off with my favourite verse, translated by yours truly. The last line especially hits home super hard no matter how many times I hear it.

Rautatieasema maanantaina ruuhkaisa Kaikilla tuntuu olevan kiire ja suunta Mä oon ulkopuolella vaik seison sisällä Jos oon jo kotona miten voi olla koti-ikävä

The railway station on Monday is crowded Everyone seems to be in a rush and have a direction I'm outside even though I'm standing inside How can I feel homesick when I'm already home

5. Shobha - Last Exit To Freedom

Full disclosure: Degrassi has been one of my comfort series for many, many years. When this song was first introduced in Next Class, it hit me really hard because it was woven into this whole storyline about depression and suicide, which at the time spoke to me a lot. I repeat, I have never been suicidal, but I do get the headspace that could drive people into it.

However, listening to it again now, it's mostly the message of hope that shines through to me. It's a song that can take two very different readings depending on what your own baggage is. And the series actually acknowledges that later on, which I think is not only beautiful but also extremely important.

There's empty places in my life and I need to breathe There's empty spaces on the map waiting there for me

I've never felt more free than when I actually drop my responsibilities and just go where I want to go. I need that space to breathe, and that's why it has always been such a relief when I could just pack up and start over in a new place. Some might call it running away from my troubles -- and they wouldn't be completely wrong -- but that doesn't change the fact that I've always valued my own freedom above any arbitrary societal norms.

6. Scandinavian Music Group - Näin minä vihellän matkallani

SMG is another one of those bands I grew up on and have seen live several times, so they needed to be here. This song is more on the "aesthetic" end of scale than how I see myself. In fact, I've many times hoped I could be like the narrator of this song. I'll give you a couple of verses to explain:

Kun minulta viedään kaikki Autan kantamaan Ja kun lopulta kaadun Teen sen näyttävästi

When everything's taken from me I'll help them carry it And when I finally fall I'll do it with a flair

Minä vihellän matkallani Näin minä vihellän matkallani Jos sen on oltava niin Olkoon sitten niin

I'm whistling on my journey See how I'm whistling on my journey If this is how things have to be Then so be it

It's this carefree attitude. Laughing in the face of hardship and controversy. There's another amazing line about getting back to the saddle after you fall and swearing you'd do it all over again. I've never been able to do that, because I carry all my old failures and pains so close to the surface, and could never just shake them off with a shrug, no matter how minor.

But on another level, I keep hearing from people who I thought knew me that I don't seem depressed. And who can blame them: on the outside, it probably looks like I bounce back from hardships really fast, because I'm so used to masking my issues that the moment I'm physically capable of doing it, I will. So you might say this song is a picture of my outer self, though it hardly mirrors what's really going on.

7. Queen - Don't Stop Me Now

I'm a firm believer that if my life was a teen movie, this is the song I'd have playing in the final scene where I'd just go "fuck that" and started dancing with @mirkwoodstock in the middle of the parking lot of something. It's my ultimate party anthem, the one that always has me dancing and singing along no matter where I am.

Back when we were at the university, Nanna and I used to go to this rock'n'roll club in town and they'd always play Don't Stop Me Now close to the end of the night, and it really became our song. Like, no matter how shitty I felt, when it came on, I'd be there, and so would she. And that's why it also deserves to be on the list.

8. Blind Channel - Died Enough For You

Throwing a rare newer song into the mix. The moment I heard this song, I knew I'd be listening to it a lot. There's also an acoustic version if you're not a fan of the genre or if you just wanna have a different perspective. Blind Channel is also representing Finland in Eurovision next week, and I'm living for it.

Advertising aside, Died Enough For You takes me to some really dark times in my life. I've been in relationships, both romantic and not, where I've been carrying the other person and giving so much of myself, risking my own mental health (which was not that good to begin with) and not getting much in return. There comes a point where you have to prioritize yourself and admit that dragging yourself into the same abyss is not going help anyone. Unfortunately, usually it takes more strength to admit that and leave than to stay in the relationship that's hurting you.

I'm still talking to some of these people, but I've learned to give myself a permission to sign off when I notice that by helping them I'm only hurting myself more. Someone else's wellbeing cannot be my responsibility when I'm struggling to keep myself afloat. And I truly hope everyone who is supporting me also knows that.

9. Aqua Timez - 真夜中のオーケストラ

Title translates to "Midnight Orchestra". Yes, it's from Naruto. I discovered it back when I was still more involved in anime fandom stuff, and fell for it again year ago when I binged the anime when to lockdowns started, because I needed an escape.

And what an escape it was. Have you ever heard a song and immediately went "I need a tattoo of this", or is that just me? I'm probably not going to get a tattoo because I don't trust non-Japanese artists to get the kanjis right, but the song still captures something very real about loneliness that's not really visible but still very much there. Like, the moment when you meet a person you can truly relate to and for the first time realize you'd been feeling lonely all that time. That's what this song describes to me.

Below are a few verses towards the end of the song. I've bolded the one that first caught my attention (and which I still have as the title of my Japan sideblog).

真夜中の詩が叫んだ「僕ほんとうは独りが　嫌いだ　大嫌いだ」 独りぼっちで　生きてゆけてしまうなんてこと

The song of midnight cried out "I truly hate being alone more than anything" I hate to go on living completely alone…

幸せなんて　小さなスプーンで掬えるくらいで充分なんだ 分け合える人がいるか　いないかだけ

All I need is being able to scoop happiness with a tiny spoon so long as I have someone to share it with

(Full translation)

真夜中の詩は叫ぶよ「僕ほんとうは　僕ほんとうは　淋しかった」 太陽の眩しさに　かき消されても

The song of midnight cried out "I was truly, truly… lonely" Even if I were to be erased by the sun's radiance

10. Jenni Vartiainen (Apulanta) - Mato

This song, named "Worm", was originally released by Finnish rock band Apulanta in 1997. The lyrics, while they might make sense as individual statements, are basically gibberish when you combine them into one piece and try to understand the meaning. There is none. Anyways, the version I chose is a remake by another artist, first performed on the Finnish version of The Best Singers format. It doesn't make any more sense, I just like it better because Jenni is hot and she made it so much fun.

And the reason it's on this list? Welcome to my brain, folks! Sometimes, especially when I'm overwhelmed by lots of external stimuli, my mind tends to just wander wherever the hell it pleases and make connections even I don't get. It also likes to forget the stuff I said just a second a go, so I can switch subjects on the go without even noticing. It's very soothing to have music that doesn't require me to make those connections when that happens.

And now, I shall close this massive post with the first verse of this masterpiece:

Minä tahdon ulos, tahdon ulos kattilasta Minä tahdon pelastaa vielä sinutkin kiehumasta Minä tahdon lentää ulos vessan ikkunasta Minä tahdon tietää kaiken teidän karkkimaasta

I want out, I want out of this kettle I also want to save you from boiling I want to fly out of the toilet window I want to know everything about your candy land

Stay safe and take care of yourselves my dears💕

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Bulgaria brings a mentally reassuring anthem to Rotterdam 2021

I’ve said so that VICTORIA herself sort of agreed to have done “Tears Getting Sober” if she was allowed to, but for one I have to thank that EBU said that the artists can’t have their 2020 songs back? You’ll see why when I get to the review after two boring paragraphs of text with technical info, for the country that is Bulgaria!

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Victoria Georgieva (or VICTORIA, but I can’t be arsed to continuously capitalize her name so I’ll just say Victoria from now on) was born a singer, for she started to sing at the age 11, went to a specific school of angel voices (no really that’s what it was called), and tried to go to the X Factor while a liiiiiittle too young until realizing that she needed to wait for a few years, and wait a few years she did, and went on to the X Factor again.

She didn’t win, but she still got to sign a contract and sing some stuff in Bulgarian before she decided to rebrand, started singing in English, and completely decided that ballads is her style. She cannot really do upbeat most of the time. So you can’t really have a bop from her in the future. (Well except that there’s a couple of songs in her discography that I personally classify as “bops” but they’re more like... idek sad bops?? but they can be danced to, but I get her, she doesn’t do anything that’s more loud and upbeat and clubby and summery kind of - in short, nothing you can go “YAAASSSS QUEEEEEN” over to.)

The entry she ended up singing, “Growing Up Is Getting Old”, is what I can describe to be about overcoming the emotional twists and turns inside of you as you grow older, because as it turns out, it ain’t what you thought it would be - but if you push just a little further, you realize that if you’re growing up, maybe the life isn’t so bad, afterall - you are able to get up. Somehow. It was written as part of Boris-Milanov-led songwriting camp held during summer, and a lot of people seemed to be a part of it because multiple different folk have songwriting credits on the potential Bulgarian entries this year.

REVIEW

Let’s get this out of the way immediately. I prefer “Growing Up Is Getting Old” to “Tears Getting Sober”. The former sounds a lot less irritatingly underwhelming and a lot more positively overwhelming you with warm emotions and sunglow. “Tears Getting Sober” was a song I could never really connect with - maaaaybe the last chorus is much better on there, but it doesn’t do much for me either, I guess.

Their 2021 forray however is a much different kind of thing - once again, going for lyrical non-cliches, Victoria tells a tale about her inner turmoils and continuing in life, in a way that’s personal to her and also kind of relatable to all of us. We all have these moments of fear and anxiety and nervous systems aching. If only there was someone who’d tell us that we’re worth saving... thanks a lot Victoria, you’re the MVP. Filling in the void that Netherlands from last year had brought us but not anymore - another personal song about getting old and having those kind of feelings inside - and doing a great job at taking the baton in the right way (even with featuring the word “grow” in both of the titles, neat coincidence).

Not only the lyrics feel like a hug, the song just emulates ray of sunshine and golden glitter coming down from the sky, Molly Sanden style. The violins in the G major key playing so precisely, building up momentum throughout the entire song, slowly but surely - starting with the ticking clock in the first verse that may have subtle violin in there; and the first chorus is just so simple piano, and then the second chorus has a tinge of electronic something, and the last chorus goes full in with the backing vocals boosting the song, after Victoria performs the quite magnificent bridge... now I don’t have synesthesia but I associate music keys with colors, and to me G major would always come across as something yellow or orange - “Growing Up Is Getting Old” is a perfect example of why’s that for me. And obviously, Victoria’s love for harmony-humming (even if there’s just one instance of it after she sings “star crossed soul”) complements the song to a T.

And it turned out to be a much better choice than last year’s. Maybe finally a female ballad I am getting behind.

Now I wanna know why the bookies don’t appreciate THIS entry as much as last year?

Granted, now it’s 2021 and the environment is so much different, and the songs have changed, and the dynamics have changed, and now there’s suddenly more competition at stake. And for Bulgaria it fares quite much more underwhelmingly - well, at this moment they’re like 6th, which isn’t bad, but there’s a lack of sung praises coming its way, not quite a feat that “Tears Getting Sober” actually achieved, being the bookies fave right before the cancellation of last year. In general the year has been pretty dry for the previous winner picks like Iceland, Lithuania and this, but I can’t say that the previous winner bets from 2020 are all that dead either? Though I gotta say that Bulgaria wasn’t gonna win 2020 anyway, so it’s a lose-lose in this case.

Also I just can’t at that music video being a little dramatic at the beginning, with the cancellation of Eurovision being presented as if it were a worldwide disaster during which we all shall lock ourselves into bunkers and wait until the better days, eventhough the panini is not war and war supplies kit is not just enough to survive it. But it seems like that the world is quite literally falling apart, as evidenced by Victoria going through all kinds of pathways away from her living room, meeting a  (presumably) mini version of her somewhere in between, and literally surrounded by the shaking environment by the last moments of the song

before we realize it was just reality recursing from the TV’s point of view that Victoria was watching all along, and then she leaves the living room again, but in her world, everything is normal and she could just go wherever she wants by car. Even I can’t come up with a storyline ending that’s somewhat intertwined and all plot-twisty and more confusing than that. But props to her team I guess

Approval factor: Let’s say I somewhat approve this message. Follow-up factor: For the sake of argument let me just say that Bulgaria is moving on a great path, eventhough the former entry leaves me cold, at least the current entry keeps me warm at all times, like a cup of cocoa and a good blanket. Please Bulgaria, never run out of sponsors. Qualification factor: I’ve seen one or two people throw around the “surprise NQ” tag for this song and I don’t get why??? There’s no way that the tense atmosphere of semifinal 2 would sure-fire-ly kill Bulgaria, even if they have a lot less chances to win this year than they had the last one. There can be some shock NQs indeed though, and if there are, I am paging... uhhhhh Finland? Idk why but you might see what I mean if I ever get around to reviewing “Dark Side”. Bulgaria? Never. It may not win the semi but it will cradle around the top 7 somehow.

INTERNAL NF CORNER

That’s right, Bulgaria managed to do both.

At the time when one other of Bulgaria’s songs got released, within the *Special* Eurovision September 1st-onwards range, people naturally succumbed to their primal instinct of asking whether that’s her Eurovision song... only for Vic to probably announce this early on that no, it’s just *one* of potential ESC entries she’s harbouring. And the remaining potential ones were all on her debut EP. Who actually got a more well-orchestrated schedule for everyone to follow, and yet, people were much more keen to cling on the first EP song out of the gate, “Imaginary Friend”. Now I get that the fans of that song were super upset at the revelation that IF is not going, but it is a technically strong song for the sake of being a technically strong song, and I don’t want to think that Victoria is only forced to choose the songs that can win for her, so she’s such a sweetheart for gravitating towards a song she could dearly care about. So props to her team saving the initial winner for last to be revealed, lol.

Though wasn’t her personal favourite a Billie-Eilish-lite-upbeat-kinda-track Phantom Pain?

Which was also my personal favourite?

Look, I know that favouring the only non-ballad in the whole lineup (well “Ugly Cry” is also not quite a ballad but its beat is kinda so-so, so I tend to ignore it) is kinda sus, also, y’all are sick to death to Billie Eilish comparisons, but I do believe that Billie would never be able to do an “Imaginary Friend” while Victoria could do a “Lovely”. This makes me remember the cover art of Billie’s debut album where she sits on her bed, dressed in white, and so is Victoria on this very MV, with strange shit going on behind her in the mirror. To the mirror, her reflection acts creepy, back again.

The other 2 I don’t feel like caring about enough, sure they got their cred, sure there’s one entry properly crediting Milanov (who seems to not have an actual entry this year that’s purely attributed to *him*, as opposed to 3 last year, 2 of which were performed by acts that returned this year????), sure there’s the funny thing about having a funeral song where out of this and Finland only Austria managed to send a quote unquote “funeral” song, but I think the funeral song would’ve sounded better if the pre-section of it on the “Phantom Pain” video was THE “funeral” song itself, and not whatever was that other funeral song.

In between there was a public sort of survey where people could submit feedback and positive words to Vic’s choices to help her decide - I didn’t get to vote but I feel fine with the winner eitherway, and that counts for something! And the end result was revealed at the very end of Victoria’s very own rooftop concert.

The colors on the circle thingy of this, they were meant to symbolize all Bulgarian entries up to Victoria’s 2nd one, in pictograms that kind of reminded me of Coldplay attributing every song on ‘Mylo Xyloto’ its own little symbol.

The concert was not only full of music and also adverts for the inaugural sponsor iCard (that also included some element of foreshadow in between the suspense, you’ll see why), but also the Bulgarian folk talking before each song, saying all the positive nice words they can for Vic; that she’s talented, and that they were so excited that Bulgaria was doing well in the odds last year prior to cancellation, bla bla bla... also some people were proud of voting for Bulgaria outside Bulgaia, and they made puns about the forthcoming songs on the concert that they were introducing, and so on, and there was also someone called Dara, whom I really want to be sent by Bulgaria one day to show off that they’re not afraid of doing trashy-esque bops that don’t necessarily win

Also they reminded me that Lucy from No Angels (aka the sole reason Bulgaria 12′d Germany in 2008) still exists.

Also Azis.

There was also an intermission where Eurovision 2021 acts could say all the nice words to Victoria on their own part. And several artists chose to... how shall I put it... use up their several seconds rather interestingly. Like how The Roop would say something real quick only to delve into more of their usual “let’s dance, let’s discoteque! *hand scissors* ;P” self-promo, and Senhit carelessly being allowed to say whatever she wants in Italian without subtitles <3 Sorry sis, they’re only given to people from another white-green-red flag-color country.

About the iCard foreshadow... so there’s their advert about Victoria waiting in the line to get something in the Soft Vocals Store, and people ahead of her giving her money the standard oldfashioned way, and the old lady at the counter is... slow, to say the least. After a good amount of time spent waffling around, Victoria finally pulls out the iCard application and pays for the imaginary items she wants, then narrates some stuff about said application, and a Eurovision entry of hers plays when the old lady is at home, spending time in front of TV enjoying the music. Before the concert, the song that played was “Tears Getting Sober”. The advert played once more before Victoria’s big entry decision and entry MV reveal, and in place of the 2020 entry, “Growing Up Is Getting Old” was the one that sounded out loud... Now you may think that there were attempts at some sort of spoilage here, but after that ad before the concert EP NF result, there was this other advert starring Victoria that played “Imaginary Friend” at the end, a last-ditch effort to trick viewers into going “see? just because that ad played the chosen song doesn’t mean it’s the chosen song!! this song could as well be a chosen song as well!!” yeah no shut up GUIGO IS the chosen song kthxbyebye.

ANY LAST WORDS?

Having said all that praise, I actually have “Growing Up Is Getting Old” fairly low on my ranking. It’s just because the year is so damn good and I have a lot more songs to care about more than this, but I appreciate the gesture that this singer is sending very much. Good luck on your road to conquer Europe, Victory-ia, I’m sure you get the best of the experience and all, because you would deserve it.

[bopinion]

2021 / 28

Aperçu of the Week:

"For some reason, the climate issue has suddenly become a global issue."

(Armin Laschet, current Minister President of, of all places, North Rhine-Westphalia, who apparently lacks both foresight and perspective. Yet he leads in the polls to become Germany's next chancellor).

Bad News of the Week:

Last week I wrote: "Who still doubts the man-made climate change: look out of the damn window!" And now it is really here, the climate change. Or rather its effects. On our doorstep. No more threatened islands in the South Pacific, no more melting polar ice caps far away, no more fires in North America, no more sinking groundwater in the Middle East - here, in our neighborhood, immediately, now.

It doesn't take a tsunami, a tornado, an earthquake, or a volcanic eruption. It just needs rain. Much rain. Lots of rain. Former small streams burst their banks as torrents, mountain slopes slide down, floods rush through inhabited areas, sweeping everything away. Entire towns are under water, houses collapse, cars are thrown around like tennis balls, complete infrastructures are destroyed, people drown - almost 200 so far.

In parts of Bavaria and Saxony, but especially in North Rhine-Westphalia and Rhineland-Palatinate, the pictures look like a war zone. Not only because military recovery vehicles are often the only vehicles that can even pass the roads full of rubble and mud. The suffering of fellow citizens who have lost a loved one or simply their entire possessions from one moment to the next seems incomprehensible. Overcoming the consequences is a joint task. Politicians are putting together aid packages, while the solidarity of individuals and the commitment of many volunteers are setting standards.

One of the hardest hit places is called "Schuld", literally "Guilt". And this brings a bizarre realization: yes, we are guilty for what is happening. Not an unexpected phenomenon that comes out of nowhere. But the concrete result of what we have done and are doing. Or rather, what we have not done or are not doing.

It is always said that a crisis is the hour of the executive. Because it can decide, take concrete measures, send help, make money available. Normally, this is done - yes, we are currently campaigning for the federal elections in September - at the expense of the opposition, which, in the absence of government responsibility, can really only show concern. In this case, the Greens, the strongest challenger to the current governing coalition of conservatives and social democrats. But they are the ones who have always warned about the consequences of ignoring nature, who have declared sustainability to be the guiding principle and who are the only ones with concrete environmental and climate protection plans in their party program. Let's see how this realistic far-sightedness and this credible commitment will carry the day when the voters have to put their crosses. Hopefully in the right place...

Good News of the Week:

At the Eurovision Song Contest, many are always surprised by the hardly known countries in Europe (okay, we'll leave out the questionable participations of Israel or Australia). This includes for example the Republica Moldova. A small country between Romania and Ukraine, (almost) on the Black Sea, one of the many former Soviet republics. It shares the same classic fate of autocratic structures, corruption, an ailing economy, isolation from the West, and dependence on big brother Russia. In Transnistria, there were already pro-Russian independence efforts supported by Moscow before there were more high-profile ones in the Ukrainian Donbas region.

But just as in Ukraine, a democratic spring is dawning. Back in the 2014 parliamentary elections, pro-EU parties won a clear majority of 55 seats to the pro-Russian 46, but then failed due to cronyism, dubious entanglements and sabotage. But then came Maia Sandu. Coming from the World Bank as a lateral entrant, she first gained a reputation as a fearless fighter against corruption as education minister in the Liberal Democratic Party before failing as prime minister due to a lack of support for her radical judicial reform. In 2020, however, as the candidate of the "Partidul Acțiune și Solidaritate" ("Action and Solidarity Party" / PAS), which she co-founded, she finally won the presidential election with 58% in the runoff against incumbent Igor Dodon.

In last week's parliamentary elections, PAS was now the clear winner, winning a clear absolute majority in parliament with 63 of 101 seats. Memories of Emanuel Macron and "En marche" are awakening. PAS and Sandu now have the power to shape the government, freed from coalition concessions or multiparty dependencies. And their objectives were unambiguously defined as democratization and turning toward Europe. Sandu: "The people here have been lied to and disappointed so many times". The election results express "the desire of our people that order be established in this country and that corruption be fought. People want law and justice."

The great challenge will be to rid the country's institutions of the felt, to clean up and reorganize the administrative apparatus. For only on this basis can an economic perspective emerge for one of the poorest countries in Europe. It is precisely this lack of prospects that has caused an exodus of those willing and able to perform: one-third of Moldova's population now lives abroad. Sandu's first priority is therefore to modernize the education system and infrastructure and to develop a healthy sector of small and medium-sized enterprises. Only then would positive outlooks for the future have been created for the population - by their own efforts and they could then seek cooperative support from the EU. That this is not a foregone conclusion can be seen by looking across the border to neighboring Romania: a member of the EU for 14 years, the country is still struggling with economic misery and fundamental structural reforms. One can only wish the Republic of Moldova all the best and Maia Sandu a lucky hand.

Personal happy moment of the week:

I don't really know...

How pleased am I that Japan will not succumb to the commercial temptation to allow the same spectator madness at the Summer Olympics starting next week as England and Hungary did at the European soccer championships?

How satisfied am I to have found a solid solution to a complex challenge in weekend work that I can present to colleagues in the office tomorrow?

How relieved am I to live neither on a riverbank nor in a valley and therefore to be exposed to flood hazards only in underground garages and underpasses?

How happy am I that my wife will be standing in the kitchen tonight while I open the red wine, listen to the spherical sounds of Tangerine Dream and comfortably read the newspaper?

In some weeks you just have to be satisfied with the little pleasures in between. All good.

I couldn't care less...

...that insurance companies fear being confronted with claims arising from the flood disaster. After all, their business model should be to provide support in the event of an emergency. And not to look for backdoors and exclusion clauses in the fine print of their cryptic contracts.

As I write this...

...I'm tasting delicious olives my daughter brought back from her graduation trip in Tuscany.

[leoninapelliolovesconchitawurst]

ENGLISH TRANSLATION (by me)

LOSDELAMUSICA.COM 19/11/20

https://www.losdelamusica.com/articulo/conchita-wurst-me-encantaria-colaborar-con-ruth-lorenzo-amo-tanto-a-ruth-y-es-tan-gran-artista

Conchita Wurst: "I would love to collaborate with Ruth Lorenzo, I love Ruth so much and she is such a great artist!"

Conchita Wurst is back and she's never gone. It has changed and evolved since we heard “Rise like a Phoenix”. Now behind her is also Tom, who is embarking on all kinds of projects, like his recent collaboration with Ricky Merino on "Smalltown Boy".

We had the pleasure of interviewing Conchita and below we have his answers on his appearance at Eurovision, his new album, his new stage as presenter and some curiosities like his dreams to be realized.

After your stint and your victory at Eurovision in 2014, now that time has passed, how has that influenced your new music? Are you still seeing as much impact?

I believe that all musical development is an evolution and that everything that comes from the past influences the present and the future. Winning the Eurovision Song Contest and all the attention that came with it allowed me to live the life I live today. And I think I felt a lot of pressure at first to be perfect and do everything right, and now a few years later I feel more mature and genuine and I have no intention of thinking about what other people might think. I'm just doing my thing.

“Truth Over Magnitude”, T.O.M, what does this record mean to you? Why does it have the initials of your name (Tom)?

It means that I appreciate the truth and being myself more than the celebrity. You understand? Being famous or a celebrity is fun and all, but in the end it doesn't mean anything to me. It's no good if you don't live the life you want to live. "Truth Over Magnitude" is very personal, so it fits very good as an album name, and abbreviated as TOM, it also shows that this album is much more my personal self than Conchita.

Your projects do not end there. You recently launched a collaboration with Ricky Merino, how did you receive the proposal?

I love collaborating with other artists and seeing what we can do together. Ricky contacted me and sent me his version of "Smalltown Boy", which I loved. So of course I said yes when he asked me to record a reissue of the song together.

Is the career or the fame of an artist important for you to collaborate with him?

Obviously it's flattering that a famous person wants to collaborate, but again I think it's “Truth Over Magnitude”. I really wanna like what the other person is doing, I wanna like the voice and the whole vibe, that's more important than the fame. I would never work with a super famous person that I don't like. And I've worked with people in the past who weren't very well known and we still do duets and projects together.

Which other Spanish artist would you collaborate with?

I would love to collaborate with Ruth Lorenzo of course, I love Ruth so much and she is such a great artist! And I think there are so many talented Spanish artists that I don't even know! Send them all to me and we'll do something together! (Laughs)

You also sang with Anastacia, do you want to edit one of her songs in the studio and release it as a single? Which?

I would record all of Anastacia's songs with her! She's an amazing singer, such a kind and friendly person and I think we would have a great time together in the studio!

Why do you think we need an example like you to follow for the LGTBI + collective? Are you proud to be a reference?

I don't like to think of myself as a point of reference, honestly, and I've never seen myself as an example. I like to think of myself as a guy who does his thing. But yeah, sure, I know I'm an example in people's heads, not mine.

Hope a lot of people will see that you can do whatever you want as long as you don't hurt others. If you want to be a bearded woman, be a bearded woman. If you don't want to be the bearded lady anymore and want to make electronic music, then do it. You only have one life, and I hope that's what people see in me: the motivation to love their own life and their fantasies.

You also worked as a presenter this 2020 on German TV, what about the experience in 'Fame Maker'?

You know? I love hosting TV shows especially when they're live because it's so much more fun than pre-recording and recording stuff over and over again. And “Fame Maker” was the first live concert I did this year where there was a real audience, it was also very nice. Having instant reactions is very important, not only for me as a presenter, but also for the jury, the artists and the entire production team.

Being a program where you can see but not hear, does the image matter more or are there other deciding factors?

Seeing the artists without listening to them was really interesting and fun. Of course, it also makes you aware of how quickly we judge someone by seeing them for a few seconds. But you can't see the talent, you can't see people who can really sing and have a great voice.

You might be able to see if they have some experience on stage. But it was also the fun of this show, anyone could guess it and it was full of surprises all the time!

How important is the image to you?

Image in the sense of how you look, your hair, what you wear is of course very important in the entertainment industry. Not just in situations like a cover shoot or during a three minute live TV show.

I think everyone knows what it feels like to look in the mirror and say, “Wow! Today I love myself a lot ”, that gives you a lot of confidence. Likewise, we all have days when we feel like wearing jogging pants and not leaving the house. I think the appearance and image can help a lot with the confidence and the way other people notice you. Use them to your advantage!

And now that it seems like every dream is impossible, do you see yourself in the middle of the Super Bowl in a few years? You would like it?

Haha, they still haven't called me! Of course, the Super Bowl is one of the greatest entertainment shows in the world and every year we see how Americans are crazy about having a massive experience.

At the same time, I like to watch the Eurovision Song Contest because, if we're being honest, it's our European Super Bowl and we don't have to watch a lot of sports to finally enjoy it. (Laughs)

What can we expect from Wurst in the short term?

With the pandemic, it has been a very difficult year for artists around the world, and I fear it will still be some time before we can enjoy concerts with crowded audiences. The closures in Austria have made me think about things I would like to do in the future, I have been working on some creative projects and looking forward to sharing them with my fans, when possible.

But don't be fooled, of course I also spent days at home doing nothing and being lazy; I think it's also something that unites us all. It's also okay to be lazy sometimes.

Thank you very much for your closeness and for answering questions so extensively, Conchita. We wish you good luck and success.

Check out the latest single with Ricky Merino on 'Smalltown Boy' below, then one of Tom's most recent singles, 'Hit me':

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2016

I think everyone will agree that 2016 had “Impending Doom” written all over it, and as a result a lot of pop music became very depressed very quickly, and as such, I’m less enthusiastic about this list than some of the previous ones.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

For a year that was so cataclysmic worldwide, 2016 was pretty mundane for me, so let’s just skip to the albums that came out that year and which I consider relevant to my tastes. Obviously (and unfortunately) there was David Bowie with Black Star. We should have known we had jumped right into the Worst Timeline when the year started with the death of Bowie. Nine Inch Nails also released Not The Actual Events, which was pretty good, and as I said previously I consider Coldplay’s A Head Full of Dreams to be more of a 2016 than a 2015 album. And then there was the biggest surprise of all, the return of Enigma after eight years of silence, with the very good Fall Of A Rebel Angel (even if A Posteriori is still my favorite “modern” Enigma album). EDIT: I forgot Ghostlights by Avantasia. Took me YEARS to listen to it & realise how good it was.

But no. Surprisingly enough, my favorite album of the year wasn’t any of those. It was... oh god, that title. Here we go. It was I Like It When You Sleep for You Are So Beautiful yet So Unaware of It by The 1975 - which I like to call “The 1975′s second album” instead, because what the hell, guys. Anyway. It had been a while since I had found a new band I’d consider to be one of my favorite bands. I really liked Chocolate from their previous album but that was it. But this one? What a breath of fresh air. A Change of Heart, She’s American, Please Be Naked, The Ballad Of Me And My Brain, Somebody Else, The Sound, This Must Be My Dream? That’s only the songs I listened to on a loop and that’s already nearly half of the album. Great music, love the vocals, but I especially love the writing, full of strange and awkward details and lines that make everything feel so alive. The first time I listened to some of these songs, some lines actually got a chuckle out of me, like the American girl wanting the narrator to fix his teeth, or him hopping on a bus to ask the passengers if someone found his brain, or his girlfriend complaining about his shoes and his songs then immediately adding “I thought that you were straight, now I’m wondering”.

As someone who’s constantly puzzled by human relationships and tends to act super awkwardly, all of this is extremely relatable. So yeah. Album of the year, love this band - impatiently waiting for that fourth album!

As far as unelligible songs go, as you can guess I’m furious The Sound (The 1975) wasn’t a hit because I was and I’m still listening to it on a loop. And that’s about it. Wait there’s also Kids by One Republic. It was super good. Apart from that, there’s also one (1) elligible song that I’m gonna put on the 2017 list instead because I really struggled to find enough songs I liked for that list, and that particular one is elligible for 2016 thanks to the French year-end list and 2017 thanks to the US year-end list, so eh.

Time for some honorable mentions.

This Girl (Kungs vs Cookin’ on Three Burners) - Number one of the year here. Every time I heard it (and I heard it a lot) I enjoyed it until that wretched drop.

Fast Car (Jonas Blue ft Dakota) - Not a good cover, but I love the original so much I’d be lying if I said I hated this completely.

Sucker for Pain (Lil Wayne & Imagine Dragons) - No, that slow, heavy, tortured beat that all recent Imagine Dragons songs have doesn’t work on topics like being a natural at something, being a believer, or describing thunder. It does work, however, with a chorus saying “I'm just a sucker for pain”.

Cheap Thrills (Sia ft Sean Paul) - Sean Paul, and a song about having fun without any money. Everything I want from an average hit song on the radio.

In the Night (The Weeknd) - This would be much higher if I didn’t find The Weeknd’s upper register slightly painful to listen to.

J’ai Cherché (Amir) - Hey look, the guy France sent to Eurovision that year. He’s still around, too. He’s pretty good, and that song is super cute.

Ride (21 Pilots) - Not the last time they will appear on this list.

Je Suis Chez Moi (Black M) - Pretty good song about racism, and the singer explicitly calls out a far right political figure who said some pretty terrible shit about him, and it’s a good answer.

Perfect (One Direction) - This is just Style by Taylor Swift all over again except slightly less good. But as I said before, copying good songs isn’t always a bad thing.

Human (Rag’n’bone Man) - Would definitely be on the list if listening to it didn’t feel like working.

Into You (Ariana Grande) - The last cut. The ending is wonderful and explosive, it’s just a shame that the entire song doesn’t sound like that.

And now... the list.

10 - Stressed Out (21 Pilots)

US: #5 / FR: #9

Defining song of the entire year, whether you liked it or not.

Fortunately, as you can see, I liked it a lot, even if I don’t have anything interesting to say about it.

9 - Don’t Be So Shy (Imany, Filatov & Karas remix)

US: Not on the list / FR: #2

I often joked that the melody sounded weirdly similar to Goldman’s “Envole-moi” by singing the lyrics of the verses over the Don’t Be So Shy verses, and it fits nearly perfectly. But apart from that, great song, great remix, very overplayed but never to the point of being annoying.

8 - I Took A Pill In Ibiza (Mike Posner)

US: #15 / FR: #29

There’s nothing I could say about this song that Todd hasn’t said before in what I consider to be one of his best reviews, if not the best, so here it is.

7 - Heathens (21 Pilots)

US: #21 / FR: #23

Super ominous and tense. It’s rare when a mostly grey song looks interesting, and this one definitely does. I also like the ending a lot. Don’t hang out with too many toxic people, guys, they will influence you over time.

I had no idea this was made for the Suicide Squad movie until very recently and frankly I wish it hadn’t because it’s way better on its own, especially the hand grenade line which works a lot better as a metaphor for self-destructive tendencies.

6 - Starboy (The Weeknd)

US: #58 / FR: #16

As I said before it took me ages to like The Weeknd. His voice is great but I found most of his songs fairly boring or disliked their lyrics. And then he teamed up with Daft Punk and to be honest, I didn’t even care if the lyrics of this one included weird lines about drugs on furniture, the beat was completely worth it and the singing was great. Not enough to put it on my mp3 playlist, but a delight every time it was on the radio.

5 - Faded (Alan Walker)

US: Not on the list / FR: #11

I adore this post-apocalyptic, contemplative music video. The music itself has this weariness and this quiet despair that felt super relevant, and even the drop is a bit slow instead of energetic. I usually don’t like this kind of song but this one found the perfect balance. If we really need to have more sad, exhausted hit songs, more like this, please.

4 - Closer (The Chainsmokers)

US: #10 / FR: Not on the list

I usually don’t like love songs if they are just that, random love songs without a good melody or good colors or good stories. If the melody isn’t particularly great and the colors boring, it needs to paint an interesting picture, and the more details the better, even if they are super awkward, like, as I said previously, in some of The 1975′s best songs mentioning bad shoes, or people’s jobs, or how a car smells like.

So yeah, what I’m trying to say is that my favorite thing about this song is the over-abundance of weird and kind of off-putting details that most people consider to be its main flaw. To each their own, I guess.

3 - Never Forget You (Zara Larsson & MNEK)

US: #46 / FR: Not on the list

See, this is one of the reasons why I decided to make these lists: to find great stuff I missed over the years. I discovered this song while making the 1.0 version of the lists on a google sheet in early December, and now this has a spot on my mp3 player. And it’s so weird because this song shouldn’t work. The drop is ridiculously lifeless compared to the soaring quality of the chorus and it actively works against the rest of the song. It takes a while to get used to it and I’m still not entirely sure it does work, at all.

But what can I say, framing is, once again, everything, and songs about imaginary friends are super rare, and that music video made me cry and catapulted this song from “that’s pretty good” right into the “holy shit that’s fantastic” category. And it made me rewatch Where The Wild Things Are, so yeah.

2 - Perfect Strangers (Jonas Blue)

US: Not on the list / FR: #70

This, on the other hand, stayed on my mp3 player for about two years, and the music fits the lyrics perfectly. It’s not a groundbreaking song, it’s not even that original, but in such an average year for pop music, “happy energetic song with beautiful colors and nice lyrics” meant the world to me. It’s kind of telling that it was enough to put it as high as #2, though.

1 - Hymn For the Weekend (Coldplay ft Beyoncé)

US: #73 / FR: Not on the list

And with this, Coldplay has officially topped as many of my lists as Linkin Park. If, back when The Scientist dropped, you had told me how much I would love this band in the future, I would have laughed pretty hard, but here we are.

But yeah, it’s one of my favorite songs on the album and it’s a super weird combo of heavy and aerial sounds, soft and super colorful notes, and I love the lyrics that completely mirror that feeling, feeling “drunk and high", “poured on a symphony when I’m low, low, low”. A great party song that’s also strangely melancholic. Exactly what I needed.

And then the Seeb remix happened and added a truely fantastic drop on top of an already great song, like turning the saturation up and adding little pulsing lights and transparency effects and shit. It’s sincerely hypnotic and visually so complex and fragile I’m afraid I won’t be able to draw it if I ever attempt to turn it into a synesthesia drawing. Just like A Sky Full of Stars, I was driving the first time I heard that remix on the radio, and I wasn’t expecting that drop at all, and I was gawking.

Godspeed, Coldplay, I’m so glad you’re still a positive force in my life, especially in these trying times.

Next up: Oh my god are you telling me that after 15 years I can finally put a song from that other band at the top of one of my lists

[ganbeirecords]

How will COVID-19 change the music industry as we know it?

by Stefan Lalchev - 3 April 2020

Such a funny thing life is. Just when the whole of the UK music industry was asking the question ‘How will Brexit affect us?’ and we all thought that our biggest challenge in 2020/2021 would perhaps consist of overly complicated tour and distribution arrangements, life and nature reminded us that their power extends way beyond that of politics and economic deals. Glastonbury, SXSW, Coachella, The Great Escape, MIDEM and Eurovision are only a small part of the numerous big music events that were postponed (or delayed, for now) as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic. Along with the rescheduling of other large-scale events, such as the UEFA Euro Championship and the Olympics, and with a super long list of acts whose shows and tours have been cancelled or rescheduled, 2020 begins to look like something that no-one actually thought it would be.

But what does the worldwide state of emergency actually mean to our industry? How do the current circumstances affect it, and will they lead to a change in the way it is structured?

As almost any other kind of industry, ours is customer-oriented, and the customers are those who make it work. Well, the customers certainly haven’t gone anywhere, even as a matter of fact, they have probably never been so ‘not-going-anywhere’ in a very long time. This clearly does have a negative impact at present. Only less than half a year ago UK Music revealed that out of the £5.2 billion contribution of the music industry to the UK economy in 2018, the live music sector’s contribution was equal to £1.1 billion. However, from the examples mentioned at the beginning, we can only try to guess what the financial impact on this year’s music business will be. We can perhaps only easily assume that the live sector numbers in the reports on 2020 won’t be even close to the above-stated ones. In fact, a recent survey by the MMF (Music Managers Forum) and the FAC (Featured Artists Coalition) reports seven-figure losses for artists and managers in the UK from cancelled shows, lost record and merch sales, and lost artist-brand deals contracts. But as the old saying goes, ‘what’s important is not if you fall down, but how you get back up’.

The change of circumstances has obviously led to a change in our customers’ behavior (as reported by DSPs), but they are still here and it may well turn out that they are thirstier than ever for any new piece of content that we can put out there. Not only the lockdown has not really had a negative effect on the music release schedules, but with the now-trending home-based live concerts and with the amount of time that people currently spend on streaming platforms and social media, we can only imagine how much music content is being consumed. Furthermore, it could be stated that the current consumption is of a higher quality, because the current circumstances may possibly mean that consumers are actually paying way more attention to the music content that they are being exposed to.

And to end this on an even more positive note (from a purely business perspective), earlier this week, the Association of Independent Music (AIM) ran the AIM SYNC Conference, despite the tendency of events being cancelled. In fact, the Zoom-YouTube-hosted event turned out to be the first ever entirely online-based conference of this kind, and the 4,000+ attendees from over 20 countries clearly demonstrated that the music industry of 2020 is up for the challenge to keep working, even from home. We surely don’t know what the future has prepared for us, but surely the creative industries people are ‘creative’ enough to adapt and keep finding new ways to reach the audience.

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: When We’re Old

Summary: Gold and Belle discuss getting older and what will happen to their relationship in their twilight years.

Written for the @a-monthly-rumbelling prompt: “That might just be the least romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.” This was also inspired by the song of the same name which was Lithuania’s 2018 Eurovision Song Contest entry. Don’t ask…

Rated: G

When We’re Old

“Have you ever thought about what will happen when we’re old and grey?”

“That might just be the least romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Belle looked sideways at her husband.

“Be that as it may,” she said, “you didn’t answer my question.”

Gold sighed. “I try not to think about it. I’m already halfway to senility and I’ll reach it long before you do. I don’t want to imagine a world where I look at you and I don’t know who you are.”

“None of that.” There was no sternness in Belle’s voice, just fondness. Her eyes told a different story, a hint of sadness in their striking blue depths. Belle’s eyes had been one of the first things that Gold noticed about her. They were so expressive. No matter what she might be saying or how she might be smiling, Belle’s eyes always betrayed her true feelings.

Gold knew that she didn’t like it when he spoke so disparagingly of himself. It wasn’t that what he had to say hurt her in herself; it was not that she disliked being reminded that she’d married a man several years older than her. She hated the bitterness in his voice. She hated that he hated himself.

Over time, her love, and moreover her persistence in it, had begun to change his perceptions of himself. If Belle, so bright and young and bold and so unashamedly good could see the good in him and think him worthy of her love and affection, well, maybe there was something in there after all.

“I hope that we’re together when we’re old.” Belle tucked her feet up under her on the sofa and gave a happy little sigh as she snaked her arms around Gold’s middle, burrowing in under her arm and staying there, curled up tight and snug like a cat. “I can just picture us sitting out there on that little bench in the garden, covered in blankets and sipping our tea, all grey-haired and bespectacled. Like stereotypical grandparents, you know. Maybe we will be grandparents by then.”

“We’re already grandparents,” Gold pointed out. “Well, I am, at least.” He thought of little Henry, nearly six months old now and growing fast.

“Great-grandparents then. Can you imagine Henry growing up and having kids of his own?”

“I’m still coming to terms with Neal growing up and having kids of his own, let alone Henry.”

He couldn’t help giving another sigh, and Belle looked up, unhooking one arm from around him and pressing a fingertip to the frown line between his brows.

“Why are you so tense?” she asked, gently rubbing his forehead. “I know that you’re older than me, love. I’ve always known that. I’m under no illusions that you’re going to get old sooner than I am. I can do basic maths. And you know me well enough to know that I’m not going to run for the hills when you do hit your senior years. You’re stuck with me forever, whether you like it or not.”

“I do like it. God, Belle, there’s nothing I want more than to see your face every day for the rest of my life.”

“So, what’s the problem, my darling? Please talk to me.” She untangled herself from him fully, squirming around until she was sitting in his lap, and Gold couldn’t help melting into her ready embrace.

“It’s not fair on you,” he mumbled to the curtain of her hair. “You’re my wife. You shouldn’t have to be my carer.”

“A carer is exactly what a spouse is,” Belle said levelly. She was stroking his hair, letting him rest his head against her shoulder. God, he felt old. “We care about each other.”

“It’s still not fair.”

“It’s life, love. It’s just the way it is. I don’t think it’s not fair.”

“You can’t exactly be looking forward to it.”

“No. But I’m not dreading it either. My feelings towards you getting older are entirely ambivalent because we all get old. I’m getting older too, just not at the same rate as you. In twenty years when you’re a pensioner, I’m not still going to be the same age I am now, am I? You’ve got a head start on me, that’s all.”

It made sense to think of it in that way. Perhaps because there were twenty years between them, Gold had never been able to visualise Belle as anything other than her young self, even though, looking back, he had known her for eight years and she was definitely not the same fresh out of college girl she’d been when she had first come to Storybrooke. When he thought of the future, of him a frail and weak old man, he never aged up Belle in unison. To him she was eternally young and lovely, and he knew he would always see her that way even as she did get older.

Maybe the same went for Belle. Maybe she would always see him as she saw him now.

“Ok, think of it this way,” Belle began again, and Gold realised that he hadn’t actually said anything for the last few minutes, too lost in his own musings. “If our positions were reversed and I was older than you, would you think it was unfair on you that I would hit my dotage before you and you would have to take care of me?”

“Of course not.”

Belle heaved a dramatic sigh and took his face in both her hands. Her eyes were smiling.

“Then why do you think that I would feel any differently, you silly sausage?”

“Erm.” Gold didn’t have a ready answer for that one, and Belle laughed, kissing him softly.

“You’re not a burden,” she said. “You never will be, to me, because I love you. I know that so many people have devalued your worth all through your life, but love is never a burden. You looked after your aunties when they got old, didn’t you?”

“That’s different. They raised me; they looked after me when I was young. I owed it to them.”

“No, you didn’t. Not like that. You owed it to them to make sure that they were cared for, but you could have used your money to make sure that they were well looked after and not got involved yourself. You went beyond that. You were there for them. You brought Aunt Elvira to live with you and Neal after Aunt Miriam died, when you could just as easily have put her in a nice old people’s home. That’s love, you daft thing.”

“If you love me so much, don’t call me daft.”

“You’re being daft. I merely speak as I find.” Belle rested her forehead against his. “I love you and I always will. I’m not saying that there aren’t going to be ups and downs, and I know that getting older isn’t going to be plain sailing for either of us. But don’t go doing anything drastic because you think I deserve better.”

“The thought never crossed my mind!” Gold protested, even though before this conversation it had done. Several times.

“The only unfair thing about you being older is that I’ll likely have to live in a world without you at some point. And we’re not talking that far in the future. Ageing is inevitable. Why worry so much about something you can’t control?”

Gold knew that he was irrational, especially regarding Belle and her sheer tenacity when it came to love. And to him. More specifically to loving him. He’d tried to talk her out of it so many times, always on the path to self-sabotage, but Belle had always stood her ground, seeing through his bluster and bravado, seeing through his coldness to the insecure man beneath, desperate to be loved but afraid of the terms and conditions that love had come with in the past for him.

With Belle, there were no conditions. She loved him, for all his flaws, and now that they were married he had finally just about stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop and accepted that she loved him and that was all there was to it.

“You’re remarkable, you know,” Gold said. He could hear the wonder in his own voice, and he knew that as long as Belle lived, he would never stop being mesmerised not only by her beauty, but by her soul. “I hope that we’re together when we’re old too.” There was really no one else he could imagine spending his twilight years with. And after all, old age wasn’t the end of everything. There was a certain freedom that came with it. Once they were both retired, there were all sorts of adventures that they could go on.

He thought of Belle’s vision of them sitting in the garden together. Maybe we’ll be grandparents by then. There was a lot of life left to live before they reached that point, and he knew how silly it was to be talking like he had one foot in the grave already.

Belle kissed him again. He was definitely stuck with her and he didn’t know what he’d do if he’d followed through on any of the increasingly ridiculous and desperate plans he had made regarding Belle’s future. It was selfish to make such decisions for her in the hope of preventing an imagined heartbreak that he knew deep down would never come.

Gold was never going to be able to let the old insecurities die; they were too ingrained in his subconscious for that. But all he needed to do was look at Belle and see her looking at him like that, and he would know that the dark thoughts gripping him were unfounded.

He saw them old and grey together out in the garden. Maybe Henry would visit from college. He hoped he’d get to see great-grandchildren in his lifetime. And maybe more grandchildren. Belle had brought up the topic of children before, and he had always deferred the conversation, figuring that soon she’d come to her senses and remember that he was too old to be a father again.

Maybe he wasn’t. Belle didn’t think that he was, even if she’d dropped the subject for a while. Perhaps it was time to revisit it, but not right now. Now he was content just to hold Belle close, knowing that no matter how many years might pass, she was never going to be far away from his arms.

[vintagesimstress]

21 Questions Tag

It’s the first time I got tagged to do something like this, exciting! Many thanks to @batsfromwesteros :).

Rules: answer 21 questions, then tag 21 people you want to get to know better.

(It got quite long, so I’m putting it all under the cut!)

Nickname: I don’t have one and never had. Some people tried to come up with something, but for some reason it never worked.

Zodiac: Leo

Height: slightly over 170 cm

Last thing searched: 1890s music

Favourite musicians: ehmmm, it seems I live almost without music these days, mostly listening to radio. Katie Melua, but rather her earlier CDs, until ‘Secret Symphony’? Right now I’m a bit crazy about those guys as well. What else... <franticly looking around the room in search of any CDs> ...Brahms? Honestly, have you ever heard anything more beautiful than this, especially from 9:22?

Oh, am I’m kind of a fan of Roksana Węgiel, the girl who won last year’s Junior Eurovision. I wouldn’t call her a ‘musician’ yet, but with that voice she can achieve a LOT. And yes, I know she’s 14. Sue me.

If you had a time machine, would you go back in time or visit the future? I’d go back in time... But only if I was sure I can come back to the present day whenever I want. With all my interest in history, I can’t imagine my life without radiators, thank you very much.

Do I get asks? They are rather comments than real asks, but technically yes. And they make me very happy :)

Following : 54 people

Would you rather be rich or famous? Come on, we all know that EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE FAMOUS!

Honestly though, I think too much of either of those things is dangerous for your mental health and can turn you into a very shitty human being. So, yeah, rather famous, but not superstar level - and famous for some cool skill or something I did and not just because many people know I exist.

Oh well, being a bit richer than I am now wouldn’t hurt either...

Amount of sleep: you mean the amount I get or the amount I need? The first one would be around 8 hours, the second - minimum 10 h per day. Yep, I’m no Napoleon.

What I’m wearing: Black ‘office’ trousers which are my normal casual wear since I quit working in an office. An organic cotton, fair trade blouse in royal blue from Living Crafts which I bought last week, to finally have some proper long sleeves in my wardrobe. No 3/4, 4/5 or whatever, but something that will actually reach my wrists. And some super old, white, knitted, short-sleeved sweater over it. Yeah, there’s a reason why I mentioned radiators earlier.

Oh, and saturated pink socks. My fashion taste is impeccable, as you can see.

Dream job: Something connected to environmental protection and research. I wish I’d realised it 10 years ago.

Dream trip: I’ve been dreaming of Finland for years! And probably yet another trip to Portugal would be yet another dream.

If you were an animal. What would you be? A bird. Flying around freely, travelling around the world.

What are some of your favourite books/films/shows/games/etc.?

Books: too many to name them all. Some examples from the couple of past years: The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers Ali Smith’s Autumn Youth without God by Ödön von Horvath Ariosto’s Orlando Furioso Anatoly Rybakov’s Children of Arbat series most of the stuff by Chingiz Aitmatov Jo Baker’s Longbourn Jeannette Walls’ The Glass Castle A Tree Grows in Brooklyn I Capture the Castle Eco’s The Name of the Rose lots of Jostein Gaarder To Kill a Mockingbird The Poisonwood Bible Swann’s Way ...and tones of others.

Also, as an honourable mention: Charles Bukowski’s The Captain is Out to Lunch and the Sailors Have Taken Over the Ship probably saved me from a mental breakdown some years ago, so it’s quite dear to my heart.

Films: I’ll just list all my 10 and 9 stars’ movies: Pan’s Labyrinth (2006),  Intolerance (1916), Alive Inside (2014), Pulp Fiction (1994), Kimi no na wa / Your name (2016), Paterson (2016), The Fountain (2006), I am (2010), About Time (2013), Samsara (2011), Yume / Dreams (1990), Melancholia (2011), The Godfather (1972), Interview with the Vampire (1994), White Oleander (2002), What Dreams May Come (1998), Shrek (2001), Frida (2002), Volver (2006), Notre-Dame de Paris (the musical, 1999), Fiddler on the Roof (1971), Once (2007).

An honourable mention goes to Mamma Mia, which is technically a garbage movie, but it makes me smile like no other.

Shows: I’m not really into shows. Let’s say I’m currently watching / waiting for new seasons of Anne with an A, The OA and Babylon Berlin, but I��m not super hyped for any of them.

Games: I play only TS4 right now. Used to love Heroes of Might and Magic, Civilisation, Age of Empires and all that strategy stuff. My all-time favourite award goes to The Longest Journey and it’s sequel, Dreamfall.

Play any instruments? No. Sadly. I have some basic idea of playing the piano, but I’m not really into it.

Language(s): Fluent or close to it: Polish, English, German, Japanese In the making: Portuguese, Russian, French, in this order, with French being ridiculously bad.

Describe yourself as aesthetic: ...what do you mean when you say words?

I lost track of who was already tagged and who wasn’t, so sorry for any doubles and omissions! I TAG @linzlu, @retro-pixels, @pandorasimbox, @smallcowplant, @girlwithaheadamongclouds, @retro-vintage-sims, @mrtri91 and anybody else who’d like to participate :)

[akalover19]

Hi! I was wondering If I can ask you to write something about Simone and Ermal's performance. Like Ermal and Fabrizio thinking about each other during the song and then meeting somewhere in a quiet place and sharing their first kiss? It can be a little angsty ;) It's ok if you don't feel like writing it but If you decide to do it, I'd be very grateful ☺Have a nice evening 😄

Hi!Thank you much for this ask! It’s gotten bigger then I expected it to be, but Ihope that will only make it better ;) I really enjoyed writing this and I honestlyam happy with how it turned out. And if you don’t mind, I would like to put iton OA3. I would love to hear your reaction!! 😊

Itwas his turn now to stand on that stage, just like one year ago. Only this timewithout Fabrizio on his left side. It felt weird without him and to seeFabrizio with Niccolò. He watched him playing his guitar, singing his heartout. There’s always something so magical, so mesmerizing to Ermal when he seesFabrizio perform.

Simone’ssong is very beautiful and ever since he heard it for the first time, it madehim think of Fabrizio. But on the other side, every beautiful song makes himthink of Fabrizio. Actually, Fabrizio never leaves him mind. And it’s drivinghim insane. All these thoughts, constantly dwelling on them and spirallingaround them. When really, it’s not that complicated at all. The only thing thereis to it, is acceptance. It took him some time and multiple sleepless nightsfor it, but eventually he came to terms with it. It was very hard at thebeginning, knowing that the feelings he has won’t get returned. That’s why hekeeps them to himself. It’s better like this, he made himself believe. But whatis better? Keeping those feelings to yourself, making them eat you alive? Orconfessing those feelings and risking to loose one of the best persons you havein your live.

Againhe tells himself to shut off his mind as he enters the stage. Just one song,helping out a friend. That’s all. Though as the music started he could feel thetears pressing behind his eyes. Keep it together Ermal, just a few minutes. Hisfirst lines went well, but as the song goes on it’s getting harder to not getemotional. You could already hear it in his voice, breaking at one point. Hetook everything he could to deliver the song at its best. Maybe the emotionadds to the song, making the audience and the public really feel its beauty.

Meanwhilein the backstage area, Fabrizio stares at the screen. One single tear rollsdown his cheek. Overwhelmed by Ermal’s performance, by his angel-like voice andthose stunning close up shots in which every detail of his face was visible. Fabriziofelt like falling in love all over again, only this time even harder. Wordscould not describe how much he admires the curly haired man. He took over mostpart of his heart and mind. If only he knew how he felt. But that will neverhappen. Multiple times throughout the year he tried to tell him, picking up everypiece of courage he could get and opened his mouth to let those words out. Butit never happened once they stood face to face. He would make an excuse and comeup with something else to say or just said nothing, telling him he forgot whathe wanted to say. Of course he didn’t, but he couldn’t bare the pain he had togo through if Ermal reacted badly. So the only solution was to keep quiet and hopethat those feeling will fade away in time. But they never did. It grew strongerthen ever, with this moment reaching its highest point. Confronted by his ownfeelings, Fabrizio grabbed his coat and made his way out through a backdoor,leaning against the wall in this dark, quiet alley. He needed a smoke before hecould face Ermal again. At least no one could see him cry here.    

Ermalgot off the stage, getting greeted by lots of people who congratulated Simoneand him on their great performance. But his mind wanted some peace. Out ofhabit he looked around for Fabrizio, but as he didn’t spot him, he decided toget some fresh air. It would do him good. He knows that somewhere in the backof the building there is a backdoor to an alley. Perfect for some peace andquiet.

As heopens the door the cold air steals the comfortable warmth of the building andhe instantly starts to shiver. It’s dark out here, there’s only a lightattached to the wall. When he looks ahead he sees a dark figure leaning againstthe wall. It looks quite eerie, a figure in a dark alley with no people around.‘’H-hello…?’’ The figure looked up. ‘’Ermal?’’‘’Bizio?! What are you doing out here?’’ He approached Fabrizio, but as hegot closer the tears of the older man immediately struck him. ‘’Are you crying?’’Fabrizio quickly wiped away the tears. ‘’N-no.’’Ermal got closer and looked into his eyes. ‘’You know you can tell me anything,right?’’ Fabrizio looked down again. He wants to tell him so bad and he hateslying to Ermal’s face. But just like those times before, he couldn’t. So likealways, he made up an excuse. ‘’I’m just…justemotional.’’ He said with a deep sigh. ‘’Youknow, thinking about us being here last year and what we have achieved so far. Andnow we are here again, and you just sang with Simone. It’s was really beautifulErmal.’’ He looked up, straight into Ermal’s eyes, and another tear fallsfrom his eye. Ermal reaches his hand out to his cheek and wipes the tear awaywith his thumb.

‘’Sothey’re happy tears?’’ Ermal said in a faint voice, almost making it sound likea whisper. Fabrizio lets out a chuckle and throws his arms around Ermal’s neck.Without hesitating Ermal returns the gesture by wrapping his arms around the man’swaist. Both of their faces buried in each other’s neck with closed eyes. Just likeone year ago, the same place, the same intensity, the same hug. They both gotlost in their embrace, not wanting to let go yet. It’s comfortable, safe and theirbody heat radiates towards one another which conceals them from this chilly Februarynight.

Once theypulled apart with their heads, their bodies stayed close. Still holding eachother, looking into the others eyes. A small smile appears on Fabrizio’s face whichinstantly makes Ermal smile too. That is the effect he has on him. Only a smileis needed to make the pain much more bearable. Fabrizio’s warm hand goes up tohis cheek, slowly caressing it with his thumb. He leans forward and lays a softkiss on Ermal’s cheek.

‘’Thank you for everything this pastyear.’’ Hewhispered as Ermal’s mind was still on this tingling spot on his cheek. Theblue light of the moon reflects in his eyes, making Ermal captivated in thosedeep brown orbs. He can’t look away now, it’s like he’s enchanted under a spell.‘’You don’t have to thank me Bizio, you’ve all done it yourself.’’ ‘’That’s not true. Without you I wouldn’thave made our song. Without you I wouldn’t have won Sanremo, let alone surviveEurovision. Without you I wouldn’t have gotten inspiration nor motivation to workon new music. You take the best out of me Ermal, you are…everyone should bethankful to have you in their life.’’ Ermal just stares at him, his mouthin a slight gape. He can’t believe Fabrizio just said that, it only makes himfall for him even more. ‘’B-bizio.’’ He stutters. ‘’I don’t know what to say,but…Ti voglio bene Bizio.’’

He doesn’thow or when it happened but it feels like their faces are closer than before. Thewarm, damp air that comes out of Fabrizio’s mouth contrasts with the icy skin ofhis cheek. A curl fell from his head, right in front of his eyes. He didn’tmind but Fabrizio apparently did when he put it back behind his ear. They arestanding close, oh so close. Ever so slowly the space between their faces getssmaller and smaller. And once their noses have touched and their faces tiltedto the side, there was no way back.

Theirlips meet in a soft, sweet kiss. It felt a hundred times better then Ermal imaginedit to be. He thought it would make his body fill with electricity and that itwould feel like he could explode of butterflies. Which is partly true, there definitelyare butterflies. But there is also this calmness coming over him like he never experiencedbefore. This feels good, this feel right, this feels amazing. And he isn’tdreaming, this is real.

Gentlytheir lips pull apart, resting their foreheads together. Fabrizio slowly openshis eyes, but saw something he didn’t expect. Now it was Ermal who has a tearrolling down his cheek. Is he sad? Does he regret what just happened? ‘’W-why are you crying?’’ Fabrizioasked carefully as he wiped the tear away, then letting his hand stay on Ermal’scheek. ‘’I’m just…happy.’’ He said and showed a shy smile. Fabrizio feltrelieved and took Ermal in his arms. One hand in his hair, the other one on hisback making circles.

‘’I’m happy too. And I can’t believe wejust kissed. I was so scared Ermal. To loose you, to hurt you if I told you my feelings.Don’t get me wrong, this past year has been amazing, but it was also painful tokeep it all to myself. You don’t know how happy you just made me.’’ ‘’God Bizio, it was so hard for me too. Butnow I wished I did tell you, because then we both wouldn’t have to live in thatlie.’’ ‘’It doesn’t matter now.’’ Fabrizioputs their foreheads together again. ‘’Let’sfocus on the future, not on the past.’’ He said and leaned in for another kiss.But this kiss wasn’t nearly as short as the first one

[usstatesofsong]

ESC 2019 Reviews - Iceland

Semifinal 1, #13 - Hatari, “Hatrið mun sigra”

We have arrived. Who would have guessed Iceland would bounce back? ICELAND. Am I saying that prematurely? I have a few doubts from time to time, but NO. Iceland’s year has to be this year. I did love Svala, but… well… How else can Iceland win this competition?

The country of 400,000 have been competing since 1986 and have had two shots for the victory: 1999 and 2009; each time placing 2nd. Seeing a trend here? With Israel, they hosted in 1979 and 1999… I’m becoming superstitious. What I’m saying is that it’s Iceland’s year to get out of that semifinal and have a run for the top. Whether that will be 2nd, or (god forbid) 1st? I’m getting ahead of myself; let’s dig in.

The artist and song? Yep, some guys in leather, spandex, and pointy spike masks. Listen: this blog post is so easy to write because the first lesson I was given in what Eurovision 2019 had in store was my good friend from Florida sending me a clip of Hatari’s “Hatrið mun sigra” (Eng: “Hatred will prevail”) … and while I loved the grittiness of it, I was kind of turned off at first, similarly for the same reasons Australia’s stage performance bothered me in yesterday’s blog. Do we need to go back to the antics of ten years ago to win Eurovision? Is that the trend we should expect in the future?

But if you start looking into Hatari, the act… this is their alma mater, their joie de vivre. These aren’t just Eurovision-style antics. Yes, it’s an act insofar that they obviously act differently when not in costume, but it is a definite part of their repertoire. And they’ve made a point to be as genuinely sarcastic as possible in interviews and abroad. To gain understanding about Iceland is to witness the brainchild of this act in some ways; there’s a line on their Wikipedia page that reads, and I quote: “On 21 December 2018, Hatari announced that the board of directors … passed a resolution to dissolve the band. The band explained that the decision came about because they had failed to topple capitalism.” Naturally! I mean, why aren’t all bands broken up yet? You all FAILED!

Klemens and Mattias (and later Einar) dropped their first EP in 2017, and because I’m as sadistic as the sound of their entry, I gave it a listen. The sound of “Hatrið mun sigra” is nothing new for them. Loud techno-industrial bass beats, shouty vocals from Mattias, and supplemental “things” from Klemens. You will take solace in one of the two’s vocals, but it’s purely taste. Mattias is a bit of a mismatch from voice to face, by the way.

Hearing this song makes me question the success of humanity, and the purpose of measuring songs against one another for their ‘likability’. It’s the essence of techno music being plunged into a colony of sewer rats and flushed through synthetic clouds of candy floss and cutting blades. It bears no real purpose to hate this song because then you’re letting hatred prevail. To hate this song is to agree with its goals; to love this song is to kill the hopes and dreams of the world.

This might end up being the most divisive entry of this decade if it has a chance at gold. We’re stuck on the song a lot in this review, but we all know the staging is going to SLICE APART the delicate fabric of family-friendly Eurovision in one way or another. The colony of people left speechless, saying WTF, will vote for this. I don’t think they can have a slave-dog crawling around on stage, but 1997’s entry pushed the acceptability bar, so who knows. In my opinion, when Lordi won in 2006, it created a rift that hasn’t healed in the causal viewer community about the seriousness of the contest and whether it can be trusted…. YEAH so, expect the public to lap this up like ice cream but potentially for the jury to kill this song before we even get to announcing the public vote winner. If nothing else, certain countries will love this song in the televote while others detest it and the scoring could get really weird. Lucky number thirteen.

I’m just going to shrug my shoulders, tune in on Saturday night (imagine a world where this doesn’t qualify, I dare you), and hope that somehow Europe spares itself from allowing a song named “Hatred will prevail” from prevailing. My doubts about their ability to perform this well on stage without it looking sloppy keeps this from escalating up my rank. Let this song get another silver like Verka Serduchka and we can let love live a prosperous career unto its own.

My Rating: 7/10 Ranking: 8th of 41