#Because of all the changes that have been happening there i just don't find it that comfy anymore

[niningtori]

clementine | preview

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: after your explosive breakup and wordless, thorough disappearance from beomgyu's life, he's surprised to see that you've moved back to his town. when he happens to meet you again, beomgyu wants to apologize, maybe make amends for his unforgivable behavior, but he's devastated to find out that you've erased every memory of him. you don't want to remember him—or the love you once held onto so desperately—anymore. he knows that to be the case, so why is it so hard for him to feel the same way?

genre: angst, romance, potentially second chance, asshole!beomgyu to groveling! beomgyu (who saw this one coming...), inspired by eternal sunshine of the spotless mind tho i've never seen it and only know major plot points through cultural osmosis

warnings: angst, previous toxic relationship

word count: tbd

release date: really far in the future probably

notes: i received a request for this a while ago and i said i'd think about it then received an ask a couple of weeks ago saying another author was working on something based on the same movie. again, i've never seen the movie and i haven't read the author's work (or any new fanfiction rlly in the past few months cuz i haven't been in the headspace to enjoy it) so i will be making it up based off of the general concept of having memories of an ex erased. i said i'd wait to post it and i have every intention of doing so but i wrote this in a moment of inspiration and i've been posting previews so i thought i'd post this just as a teaser! it won't be out for a long time cuz i have so many wips and i don't want to be inconsiderate or invite weird, unsolicited comparisons. i just want to post previews bc i'm excited to get back into consistently writing after almost quitting 🥹

-

it’s jarring, to say the least, to see an estranged ex you used to love more than anything else in any unexpected context; but it's especially jarring for beomgyu as he watches you chatter away on your phone in the middle of the cafe he finds himself in. he catches your eye for just a second before you look away, and it's like he can't breathe. after your phone call, you smile as you type away on your screen. beomgyu gulps, because he knows that since you two made eye contact, it would be weird to just leave and pretend he didn't see you, though that's exactly what he wants to do. besides, no matter how much of a coward he is, he can't keep living with his unspoken feelings when he finally has the opportunity to express them, no matter how resolutely you might reject them. he hesitantly rises from his seat and walks over to you with unsure steps.

“hey,” he says unsteadily. you look up from your screen and give a forced smile, a far cry from the easy affection you used to give him. only him.

“uh, hey?” you reply. beomgyu worries he did the wrong thing by approaching you, especially because you seem confused that he said anything at all. you probably expected him to exit the cafe without a word, and the thought that you thought that he, who was once completely and utterly in love with you, would brush you off so easily brings a sharp pang to his chest.

“i… i know it’s been a while, but i… i want to, um, apologize for… everything.” he wants to lay down and die at his awkwardness, but he's wanted to say these words for so long, and no matter how much he’s compelled to swallow them down and safely tuck them away in the home they've carved out for themselves in his stomach, he knows this is the right thing to do. especially since you blocked him on everything before changing your number. especially since you moved away without a word after your disastrous breakup. especially since he hasn't seen you in so long, and he doesn't know if he'll ever see you again after this. your eyebrows furrow, and he braces himself for impact. but no amount of contrived mental fortitude could ever prepare him for your next words.

“... do i know you from somewhere?”

notes pt. 2: might delete this preview so be prepared for that possibility 🫰 peace and blessings :,) but please don't be mean or weird like actually

[oceansoul001]

So it's been around two weeks now since I've finished Kingdom Come Deliverance 2, and to tell you all that there has not been a single day that I haven't thought about this game would be such a big understatement. Cause I'm not sure there has been a single hour that I'm awake that I haven't thought about it. And it's so weird! Let me explain.

I mean, it's not atypical for me to be fascinated by a piece of culture, be it a game, a movie, a tv series, a book, whatever. But this, this is something else, on a completely different level, and for the love of everything I just can't explain it! Maybe two weeks it's still super fresh, maybe it's because I'm now still playing the first KCD, what keeps me within this world, but I find myself constantly going back to thinking about it, about the story, about the characters, and most of all of course about Henry & Hans, and how special they feel to me.

It is particularly weird with Henry, because he is this strange amalgam of a written character and a player character, a sort-of-my-avatar in this world, but at the same time quite defined. I cannot compare this balance to any other game protagonist really, every other (that I know of) was either one or another, with my preference being always the custom character with some defined characteristics - meaning custom looks and gender, even if the backstory or a general vibe was not changeable (like, let's say, a Dark Urge in BG3 is for me a custom character, even if some crucial parts of them are well defined). But Henry's not like that, he always looks like Henry and sounds like Henry. At the same time, the flexibility of how he can react to the world is wider than with a typical written character. And even if within the game story we cannot actually change or influence what happens, generally the same things in the main plot always happen to my Henry and to your Henry, I think we can still differ in interpretation, what it actually means for MY Henry, and it can differ from what it means for YOUR Henry. And neither of us would be incorrect.

Some people might compare this maybe to the Witcher series, which is probably the closest, yes, but for me it's still completely different. I never WAS Geralt in my heart in any game from the trilogy. I played as Geralt, I made some choices, I picked a romance, I was immersed in the stories etc, but it was always the same Geralt to me, one and established character, not MY character. Maybe because he was first and foremost the book character in my head, and much later a video game protagonist, so it might feel different for other people, but I never had with him this weird fluid feeling of being him and not being him when I played the games. And I have it with Henry. I don't know if it makes any sense at all to anybody beside me.

And with Henry, it feels different, it feels as if I partially were Henry, when I played; I would not ask myself "Hmm, what would Henry do in this situation", it was rather "What would I do", with me being Henry at that point. With me taking over the emotions that my Henry would feel at a given moment. This again might feel as a regular thing for some people, who immerse themselves easily into defined protagonists, but it is not typical for me. And I tell you more - I have this... Thing... That it is much more difficult for me to find my own voice in a male protagonist. I can love them and root for them, of course, but it is like watching a movie or reading a book. Not "becoming" them when I'm playing as them in a video game.

I'm this kind of RPG player that always, like ALWAYS, plays as a female character, if I have a choice. I've never thought about it much, or why it's that way, but it is something I am very conscious about. And with Henry it's somehow different, it's like the way he is written and presented leaves still a place for me to blend in somewhere as well, despite the fact that he actually has an unchangeable face and an unchangeable voice. ...Or maybe it is partially because of that? Meaning that Henry is NOT your 'typical male video game protagonist', thank gods. But it cannot be just that, as there are definitely more characters in other games that do not fall into this category as well, and they don't leave me with the same feeling Henry does. I cannot explain it any better I'm afraid, I just feel this special connection between myself as a player and Henry as a protagonist that I have not felt before. And it makes him so, so special to me.

With Hans it is much easier to explain of course. Everyone loves Hans. He is funny, and witty, and cocky, and caring, and emotional, and vulnerable, and yes, he is sometimes self-absorbed, but he is also this pure, naive idealist - I LOVE the part when he says to Brabant that the role of the nobility is to protect the people they rule over, because I know that he genuinely believes that! He is this type of character that I always feel the need to protect, even if he doesn't need it actually at a given moment. Like in the framework of the game, when I AM Henry, I would gladly carry him over any puddle, so that he always stays safe, and warm, and comfy, and I would die for him no questions asked at any given point, even if it meant like the worst possible game ending for me as a player. Have I already mentioned that I love Hans?

But there is also one more layer, the layer that in my head is simply labeled as "Henry&Hans", together. And this is probably THE weirdest part to explain from all of this babbling. But I've got to try. So generally, when it comes to romances in fiction, I would say that yes, I enjoy a good romance, I really like when it is part of a story, I root for characters that I like to get together. But I rarely think about it outside of enjoying said fiction. I am usually not much of a shipper, don't read fanfictions, don't download fanarts, etc. I am now trying to recall when was the last time that I was really, like REALLY invested in a fictional ship, and I don't know, I think it might have been in 2017, when The Last Jedi premiered, and I was immensely angry that Rey and Kylo Ren didn't get together. It was freaking 8 years ago!

It is a bit different when it comes to romances in video games with customizable protagonists, because in that case I don't only expect to be immersed, I demand to be immersed, so to speak, if this is supposed to work. I need to feel something, anything, to be engaged in a romance that I am supposed to be an active part of, meaning choosing a character to romance, picking dialogue options, enjoying interactions, etc. And it happens quite rare. Most of romances in video games are just an additional mechanic of a sort, and choosing "I am going to romance this character" is not much different than "I am going to buy this ship/horse/base", or less harshly "I am going to make all squad mates loyal to me", not necessarily because I like all of them equally, but because it is possible within the game, so why not.

The video game romances that truly got to me were of course mostly the ones that had some good writing behind it, or great acting, or an interesting angle. I loved my Astarion romance during my first BG3 playthrough, because it ticked all the categories mentioned above, but also something beyond that. And I never loved any other of the romances from BG3 to the same degree, even though most of them are truly great and I really enjoyed playing through them. I loved my Solas romance in DAI (and in DATV even), because it was so different, it mostly wasn't even there so to say, like it was probably the least of romance content possible to even have a romance, but it touched something in me. And... No, that's that, that were the only ones that I had feelings and emotions about as a me-player, not just as a character I am pretending to be. Up till now.

So, with Henry&Hans romance, to jump from one digression to another digression, because who is reading all this at this point anyway, for quite some time I didn't even know, and later didn't fully believe, that is in the game. I started to play KCD2 around two weeks before it premiered, and all I've heard at this point was that there is potentially some gay romance that some people were rioting about, but I didn't even care much. You see, coming back to my previous notes about not being really immersed into male protagonists, because I am not male, it was always the same, or even more true, with romances - I was actually really immersed only into romances where I can play as a female character and I can romance a male character of my choosing. Because that is how it works in my life as well. Imagine my surprise when I'm playing through this medieval simulator about some guys engaging in some politics and shit, not expecting that this is soon going to be one of the most important games in my life, and then suddenly getting smitten by these two. It was when we got to Trosky, I remember it clearly, and they told me that I have now twelve bell tolls to save Hans. MY HANS! I mean, not mine at that point, really. At that point what I felt was probably sadness, because I was sure, oh I was so sure, that they would never let us romance Hans, are you kidding me? Like two main characters that have a history together, that are actually connected to one another throughout the whole story? With Hans being present in the game as his own, fully fledged character, with his own story arc, being already our best friend? Not being in the game to serve the one purpose of being a romanceable character? And to top it all, with like two guys?! I believe I am quite media-literate, so to say, have consumed my portion of different arts, and I just know it won't happen, it can't happen. It would be a contradiction to everything we have known so far. This kind of ships happen only in our imagination, in our fanfics, in our fanarts. So I didn't even dwell on it much.

And then came the ride to Nebakov, the first in game moment when you see this dialogue option with a heart icon next to it, and what the hell, am I just imagining things? I kid you not, for the next week my mind was living in this prison of "are they fucking Hans-baiting me; I won't forgive them if they are", because I simply couldn't believe that this is actually possible, that this could be our romance option, a meaningful one!

So it was probably all of the above, finally a meaningful romance, not just something slapped on a game with a plot as a separate thing, finally a meaningful character, not a "romanceable character", but a main character with a possible romance, if you get what I'm trying to say. A character that I've already started to love. And with this incomprehensible thing of me becoming Henry when I'm playing, it clicked. It clicked as nothing else ever did in the fiction that I've experienced so far.

And now I'm sitting here, a woman in her late 30s, not queer, thinking about these two fictional guys and their fictional love, like every day, and what it means to me as a person, and I just can't!!! The weirdest feeling ever. But a wholesome one, I think.

Thank you, if for some reason you've decided to read through this, I promise that I am not crazy, or at least I thought so up till this point. Now... not so sure. I needed to vent it all somewhere, somehow, and this is probably like the only place on the internet where I won't feel very bad about spilling it all out.

[t-r99]

A Rare Treat

Oliver Aiku x reader

the things this bitchass manwhore does to me

i sincerely believe that being friends with occasional benefits with aiku would be the definition of angst because of genuine feelings but nothing being done about them because he's a whore

and yes, sex with friend aiku would absolutely turn soft

i haven't written anything in a hot minute and this feel bleh but but. aiku smut it always a joy☺️

warning: mild smut

wc: 780

Being friends with Aiku is fun because if you ever feel lonely or sexually frustrated he'll just stand there while beaming like Yumichika from Bleach like this,

He's there before you've even said anything and he is ready to go.

Lord have mercy on your insides, because Aiku sure won't.

It's a strange mix between gentle and roughness. Oliver's touch is soft as his hands roam all over your marked skin that's starting to bruise where he eagerly gripped and groped earlier and he's placing gentle kisses over the deep purple marks left by his mouth where he sucked and nipped all over your neck.

As already stated, Aiku is a very weird mix of two different things. He will smirk and pinch your nipples one moment, quickly capturing your lips in a fierce kiss and swallow up your cute little moans, and then he will pull away and move down to soothe your nipples gently.

He's been teasing you, tormenting you for ages now and hasn't even fucked you yet, the bitch. It's fun for him and he relishes in your little gasps and cute little noises.

"J- Just get on . . . with it." You can barely form a proper sentence.

Aiku looks up at you, a playful look in his dual coloured eyes. "In a hurry?"

He's fucking hot like this. "No . . . No, I . . ." Damn, he looks really good.

"Just lie down and be good for me." He smirks. "I don't get to do this often."

Now that's a damn lie. "You sleep around-"

"Yeah," Oliver moves further down, leaving a trail of soft kisses after him. "but this is my once in a blue moon treat."

This has happened a few times before, and every time you end up just as flustered as the first time you slept with him.

He stares down at you intensely and you feel shy under his gaze, suddenly wanting to hide, and Aiku loves that. It just makes you even cuter than you already are. "Shy all of a sudden?" His eyes narrow and he slaps the side of your thigh playfully. "Weren't you begging me to fuck you a second ago?"

Bitch. "Shut up . . ." You mumble.

Maybe he has dragged it out for too long. He's so unbelievably pent up that it hurts.

"Shit." Oliver whispers. He's rock hard and dying to be inside you. "See what you do to me?"

You can feel it, giving a needy, "Put in it." when Aiku only teases you further.

"So impatient."

You might actually end up hating him if he doesn't fuck you soon. "Aiku," All you want is to feel him inside you. "please."

That'll do it.

He's weak to your pleas. How could he ever deny you when you beg so softly and look up at him like that?

The sound of your pretty moans are sweet heaven and like music to his ears when he finally pushes in. Damn, he might just cum on the spot, it's been too long since he got to do this.

"We need to do this more often," Oliver whispers and pecks your lips. "I almost forgot how good this feels."

You're already gone, overwhelmed by being filled up alone and only able to pick up one word from him. "More?" You mumble in a daze, thinking he asked a question. "I want more."

Say less.

You're just so warm and tight around his cock that fits perfectly inside, pushing ever deeper until you feel impossibly full.

Aiku catches you off guard when he pulls away and the warmth of his skin leaves you. "Just a little . . ." He mumbles to himself and sits up straight. "change."

"Huh . . . ?" He handles you like you're nothing and you find yourself pushed further into the mattress with your feet up in the air and legs over his broad shoulders.

This guy is canonically the physically strongest player at Blue Lock, he's going to kill you from this new angle with how hard he pounds into your needy hole that clenches around him so tight he almost loses his composure.

"Fuck, y'feel good." Oliver pants. "'f you keep squeezin' like that I won't last."

All you can do is let out a string of moans that only turns him on further.

"Shit."

Aiku reaches his limit. He always cums embarrassingly fast with you, that's the effect you have on him.

He's cute like this, cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink, eyes fluttering closed as he pants a string of endless, "You feel so good." that only ends when you reach up to hold his flushed cheeks.

"Give me . . ." You whisper breathlessly. "Give me everything."

Your wish is his command.

[candyredmusings]

Slay The Princess Sentence Starters

Sentences taken from Slay The Princess: The Pristine Cut by Blacktabby Games! Change Pronouns As Needed!

CW: Angst, Fluff, Comedic, Romantic

"Now we can both enjoy the mutual romantic subtext to this murder!"

"Yeah do you not know what The Look is? Even I know what The Look is."

"Do you think we can throw her out the window?"

"Hey you threw it out the window even though I just told you not to, I'm proud of you!" 

“WHY DO YOU HATE ME?” 

“What do you mean? This is what you wanted. Idiot.” 

"We ain't done yet, we get up."

"She asks that I tell you to remember her. You won't." 

"BEHOLD! The PERFECT woman!"

“I didn’t think you’d come back. We’re going to have a lot of fun, you and I!” 

“He’s making fun of us!”

“If only I were capable of throwing myself off a bridge.”

"Do I miss your heart because I can’t stand to see it go?"

“I will not be described into submission.” 

"By believing in your limitations you put a shackle on your neck."

"The number of stabbing implements I have is practically zero!"

"The world can't be bad if you're still in it."

"There are few things more terrifying than one's own heart, and there is almost nothing more terrifying than sharing it with another."

" ...do you not have anything witty to say? I could use a good bit of wit right now."

"The End. Nice knowing you."

"You're using a lot of words to say a lot of nothing."

"But violence and passion are dances that both of us know well."

"No. You stop that! Stop all this nonsense."

"If you want us to ignore her, then why did you tell us any of that 'wide pleadin eyes begging for mercy' business to begin with?"

"Whatever you're trying to do right now, you don't have to do it alone."

"You have no idea how good it is to hear you."

"I think you know who I am."

"HA! YOU BASTARD! Even face-to-face, you find a way to stab me in the back."

"I know you and you're hideous! Absolutely wretched! Just like me!"

"You ask of things that cannot be done."

"Why wouldn't I be kind to you? You are the only thing I know that isn't me."

"Fuck this guy. Don't trust him."

"You will have your rest in due time, and I am sorry for the burdens I place on you."

"I would never dare to tarnish our relationship by assuming myself above you."

"Names are their attempts to capture that which cannot be captured."

"Sweet! I've always wanted to off a monarch. Viva la revolucion!" 

"Oh, you bastard! You're in for it now. I'm wise to your tricks!"

“My will triumphs yours."

"We've hurt each other plenty, and I still like you."

"What nooo I wouldn't stab you."

"Why? Why did you let me do this?!"

"It takes a wretch to know a wretch, and we're all at the bottom of the barrel here."

"They're good questions. Great questions, even. But they don't have any answers."

“Do not mourn her; She has finally been heard.”

"Last time? If somebody came into my house and tried to kill me and I cut his neck open and then he stabbed me in the heart and we both died looking into each other's eyes, well, surely I would remember that! But I don't, so it must not have happened!"

"I just want to make you happy!"

"You've been kinder to me than anyone else I've met. Thank you."

“I’m not going to destroy the world, but I am going to hold it in my hands and squeeze it.”

"Oh that's right! Yeah, fuck this guy, don't trust him."

"If the world ended, how are we talking?"

"I'm going to die now! I think that's what you want."

"You've changed"

"And you've stayed exactly the same"

"I'll be damned. We're doomed."

 For everyone's sake, you're not in love."

 "They always say it's lonely at the top. I didn’t think they actually meant it."

“Ignore all the criticism. You’re doing great!” 

"She's been like me this whole time. She's just been hiding it."

 "Of course I'm not okay! I've never been okay. But maybe I needed to never be okay for us to make this happen"

[van-yangyin]

Cloud Hairstyle for Teen to Elder (FF7)

A hairstyle inspired on Cloud from Remake version for male and female frame from Teen to Elder. This time I've tried something a bit different emulating a bit the KH style but with more strands, so here with higher polycount than usual because of amount of strands I have made for this hair, I love how smooth it has turned out. Hope you enjoy it too! ❤️

PS that I write on my Patreon: My graphics tablet (specifically a Cintiq 13HD) has stopped working since the beginning of this year. I don't know if it's the cable or the connector and I'm waiting for an acquaintance to find time to look into the problem. It wasn't something I had planned for this 2025, so I'm trying my best to find a solution or the unavoidable, as it's my livelihood for work. I'm sorry I'm taking so long to do what I promised would do, but in order to finish some of them I need my graphics tablet, thank you very much for your patience. In the meantime, I'm finishing CC where I don't need it, like this one. This isn't the only CC coming out this month! I will soon reply to all of you who know who are, it has been quite difficult to find time with all this problem that has arisen (my graphics tablet) along with my social anxiety or whatever is wrong with me (I don't have any official diagnosis, I just know that I feel a lot of anxiety). Thank you for your understanding! And already 523 followers here on Tumblr, THANK YOU ALL! ❤️

❤️24 EA Swatches + Cloud swatch ❤️Teen to Elder ～ All genders and agender ❤️Hat compatible ❤️Base game compatible ❤️Child, Toddler and Infant version eventually, this post will notify you that is update if you're following me and have notify activated ❤️All LODs and maps ❤️Texture hair and hair mesh made by me from scratch, based on FF VII remake version. ❤️separate packages or merged packages ❤️HQ Compatible ❤️Custom Thumbnails ❤️CAS photos below ❤️Split hair color compatible [Extra info: I'm currently making changes in this option and expanding considerably the offer of colors and palettes this year (besides placing it in other places so that it doesn't cause problems as it happens with version located in piercings when I have everyday tags in use, although this time it won't only be for split hair color, but it will have many more options available. And maybe I will also make a special palette with all Final Fantasy hair colors of characters that I will make so that all my hairstyles can use those colors too.]

If you download my CC it means your agree with my T.O.U (English/Español/日本語).

～LOD Information～ LOD0: 39760 poly | LOD1: 14209 poly | LOD2: 7102 poly | LOD3: 3551 poly >ONLY DOWNLOAD IF YOUR DEVICE CAN SUPPORT THIS HIGH POLYCOUNT THIS CC IT WAS AN EXPERIMENTATION< BUT LET ME KNOW IN COMMENTS IF YOU WOULD HAVE A LOWERED VERSION OF THIS HAIRSTYLE

~❤️DOWNLOAD LINKS❤️~

※Choose download only one version of each frame or choose download between "M-F_Merged" where two frames files are together.※ DO DON'T DOWNLOAD ALL PACKAGES, OTHERWISE YOU WILL HAVE REPEATED FILES (If you don't understand between merged or not merged feel free to ask me)

❤️PATREON or SFS❤️ (Always free, no adf|y)

☆BECOME A PATREON | TIP ME ON KO-FI☆ 

Let me know if you find any problem. 🙏❣️

Happy simming! 💛🍀

📻 @maxismatchccworld @sssvitlanz @alwaysfreecc @public-ccfinds Thank you ❤️

🛹 You can find me on Patreon | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest | Ko-Fi | Simblr.CC | My F.A.Q. 🛹

[tutanchanup]

I don't know why I have decided to murder you all... I apologise

The Beheading of Vlad Draculea

…a short story intertwined with history.

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~

Now I STRONGLY RECOMMEND PLAYING THIS WHILE READING! (sorry for the weird format but I haven't figured out how to do it properly here on Tumblr yet, someone help me 😅)

Because it captures perfectly the tone of the scene, thus making your experience fuller too 😉

(The video is amazing too if you'd be interested later)

First, the (un)necessary wall of text (feel free to skip 😄):

What historical facts I was inspired by that we have at least somewhat documented:

What his personality seems to be from what we know of him - pragmatic, resilient, unbreakable, a genius strategist and warrior

His behaviour and crowd interaction I base in the ways of mediaeval aristocracy, a field I specialize in*

We know he'd been killed by his enemies shortly after he'd ascended the Wallachian throne for the third time after 12 years of exile, in 1476, at the age of 45.

He was probably attacked by another pretender for the throne

There's a possibility he suffered from haemolacria

Even though in the world he became known by the propagandistic stories depicting him as a monster, fascinatingly, it has never happened in Romania itself. Somehow there survived his image of a just and beloved ruler, something only now the modern science started to discover has basis in history

Facts for those that don't know much about him:

For his memories, I use the real historical events that we know happened in his life

We know he built his castles with secret passages

We know he was an excellent fighter

His war strategies were legendary, he must've been incredibly clever and was very resourceful

His people probably really loved him. He defended them against the Ottomans and brought down those nobles who exploited them. Their living conditions improved greatly during his reign (justice for everyone, no unfair immunity for boyars, support of lower class, tax exemption for craftsmen, new roads, ending exploitation from Saxons, rewards for common people, commoners lifted to boyar status, ending the sending children as slaves to the Ottomans).

One theory states that that was the reason why they called him Drakgwlya (Dracula means ‘son of the dragon’- his father had the nickname ‘Dracul=Dragon’, his enemies changed that to ‘son of the devil’, but it has one other possible origin - as you'll find out later in the story)

°~°~•~°~°

My assumptions that I used to cover the missing parts:

If I was Vlad's enemy and managed to overpower him, instead of murdering him on the spot I'd choose to behead him publicly, had I the chance (beheading was the only allowed way how to execute a nobleman - btw Vlad upheld that too, he never impaled them, as opposed what the propaganda stories accuse him of).

Why? See the following:

His people were waiting for his return for 12 years with patience and hope. I would want to make sure that they'd see that he's finished for good and that there's no chance that he could return again somehow someday

Vlad the Impaler at this point had an absolutely massive reputation as undefeatable scourge of his enemies (an image even strengthened by the propaganda depicting him as the devil incarnate). I'd absolutely want to create in the public eye the physical image of me being the one ending him

We think that his head was probably sent to the sultan of the Ottoman empire, Mehmed II. Possibly shortly after. But in mediaeval times, the body of the fallen monarch was preserved and paraded around, so that people could make sure that he's really dead - both his followers and his enemies. However without head, how could you persuade them that that's really the legendary Vlad the Impaler and not just some guy in his armour? Public execution solves this, as there would be testimonies from people that saw it happen

°~°~•~°~°

*His personality in my works is based on my own thorough research. I'm considering his upbringing as a 15th-century voivode - influenced by medieval Christianity, and needing the moral code required of a ruler who led his people into battle (I'll do some posts on these later).

Does he sound like a B-movie superhero to you? That's not a coincidence! Modern superheroes are the continuation of mediaeval legendary knights. And many traits we associate with classic heroes - unwavering courage, honor, strategic brilliance, and even calculated ruthlessness - were not just ideals for a medieval ruler. They were necessary for survival. A voivode leading his army personally into battle couldn’t afford fear, hesitation, or weakness. His power depended on his ability to inspire loyalty, intimidate enemies, and outmaneuver both foreign invaders and internal threats.Those who succeeded in embodying these ideals became themselves legends or saints - like Charlemagne or Vlad’s cousin, St. Stephen (guess whom he had the opportunity to learn from…).

And if one thing is certain, Dracula’s name became more than legendary.

This short story tries to imagine how that could've happened.

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~

Now let's leave the realm of cold facts and musings, and let us step into the warm embrace of art:

Hear, hear! For I have a tale to tell you, of the last day of Vlad Voda of Wallachia:

And let the captivating tones of the bard Farya Faraji wash over your ears while I will be doing so.

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~

Vlad Draculea, or "the Impaler" as he's become known lately, was standing in a cold, dark cell of his own castle. A massive iron collar around his neck, the chain linked to it binding him to the iron bars of the prison.

That collar was the problem.

You see, he had expected something like this could happen. He wasn't called one of the best strategists of his time for nothing. He knew that there was a chance that one day some of the pretenders to the throne could capture him and throw him in a cell so they could prepare to execute him publicly. He would have done the same. That's why he had rebuilt his castles with secret passages leading from the prison cells he could one day find himself in, including this one. The secret way was hidden under the wooden bench, its opening accessible after removing the third floor stone from the right of the northern wall.

But he hadn't counted for the collar.

It wasn't there when he last checked the state of the castle after his return from 12 years of exile. But his enemy has fished it out of who knows where.

Apparently, the ingenuity of Vlad Draculea had become so legendary, that his enemies made sure to be thorough. Curses.

And so he had ended with an iron collar around his neck, chained to the bars, just a few steps away from the secret passage that could've led him to safety, and yet now made agonizingly unreachable.

He tugged at the chain again, but it was no use, the metal was just too strong.

Vlad couldn't but laugh heartily at the sweet irony of this whole situation.

The saddest thing is, that of all places, the shackle was around the neck. If he'd been chained by wrists, he would consider breaking his thumbs. Maybe he'd manage to break his ankles too, if the shackles had been there instead. But breaking his neck was... a possibility, for sure, but not one that would lend him much advantage.

Vlad smirked again and slightly bowed his head in respectful admiration. "Well played, indeed!" he mused. As a warlord he could always appreciate a clever strategy, even when it was used to defeat him.

But he didn't bash himself over his defeat for too long. He knew he had done the best he could. This wasn't really something he could have prevented in advance.

Sometimes, life was just like this. Sometimes, even the best strategy still couldn't guarantee that you stayed alive.

There was no use in spending his last moments on earth wallowing in pointless grief.

So instead, he decided to use this moment of respite to contemplate his life. And what a life that has been!

He smiled sadly at his cruel childhood. He wept briefly for those he'd loved that had fallen. He laughed again at the times that had brought him joy. He smiled with gratefulness at the moments when he had felt true happiness.

And then he finished with a short prayer, thanking God that he could've lived through all that, and now pleading that his soul be received in heaven.

He then took a deep breath in and out and then looked at the cold cell around him anew, his expression now calm.

"I wonder what awaits me next?" he pondered. The thoughts about his own death inadvertently looming over him couldn't be escaped. But maybe, it won't be so bad... Maybe he'll see his loving wife again. What a nice sight that would be, to once more see her with her arms open, welcoming him home after he will return from his very last battle.

He might even set his eyes upon the face of his beloved brother Mircea, now surely a better sight than when he'd last seen him, when his dead face with gouged out eyes was marked by the horror of having been buried alive. Ah, how he was excited to see him smile again instead!

And his father would be there too... father who he'd hated until the last moment for giving him away to the Ottomans as a hostage and then subsequently betraying them, thus sentencing his own son to death, which neither of them couldn't have known at the time that wouldn't come. But then when Vlad met him again he'd sacrificed himself to save Vlad and Radu’s lives... Vlad longed for the opportunity to talk to him again ever since.

And then of course there would be his dear mother, who he had last seen when he was just 7 years old, and never got to know what had become of her after that. Now he will finally be able to hear her story.

Vlad smiled wryly at those thoughts.

His chain of thought was broken by the metallic sound of keys in the door. Ah, the time has finally come. He looked with a bittersweet smile as that damned collar fell to the floor. Oh well. Now when the fully armed soldiers had clasped him firmly with their hands, it was a dead end anyway.

As they led him over the courtyard that his steps had marked for so many times before, he quickly assessed the situation. The soldiers were many. Too many. And they were armed too. Even if he managed to wriggle himself free from their grip, they would catch him before he'd even reach the closest window. No, the only thing that would achieve was him dying sooner, with no pride whatsoever, and staining his reputation with the mark of "coward" as well. That simply wasn't worth it.

So he let them lead him to the newly raised wooden terrace, where his enemy already awaited him, along with the executioner's sword, and the crowd to behold that. Draculea walked with his head proudly raised, a brave smile across his face. He wasn't scared at all. Why should he be? Fear would do him no service, especially not now. Being scared wouldn't change the situation in any way, so why spoil his last moments with it? He was calm instead, his gaze already fixed beyond mortal matters. He didn't pay much attention to the words of his enemy. It didn't matter anyway, and he would risk that he would roll his eyes if he heard his enemy boasting how he was the one to bring the fearsome Vlad the Impaler to his demise.

His gaze stopped at the sight of the beheading block, and his eyes sparked with curiosity: "I wonder how that will be!"

Then suddenly, a sharp shout tore him away from his thoughts.

It came from the public.

He looked at the crowd for the first time. He didn't pay them much attention before, as he wasn't interested in seeing faces of people cheering over his demise or laughing at his defeat. But he was surprised that that wasn't what he saw. No. The expressions he saw were full of... sadness. The people... His people... were mourning him. "Vlad Voda!" one man had cried with desperation. Soon one woman accompanied him, tears running down her face. These were the people who'd waited for 12 years for his return, and now they were forced to see their hopes of him being their ruler once again thwarted before their very own eyes. "Vlad Voda, don't leave us!!! Don't go, dragul...!"

Dragul. Beloved. The name his people had given him.

Vlad smiled at them kindly, saying without words "But what can I do?"

From the crowd came the answer: "Fight!"

Vlad almost laughed out loud. What use could there be in fighting? Don't they see the odds? The platform was full of armed soldiers, two of them were holding him as well, and his hands were tied behind his back.

But the crowd stood firm. "Fight them!! Fight, Vlad Voda!!!!"

Vlad smiled again at the unfaltering faith they had in his fighting skills.

But then he gave it a moment's thought. Sure, there was no chance to win whatsoever, he knew that beyond doubt. But maybe... Maybe it would be nice to have one last battle. To once more unleash the admirable strength of his body that he had cultivated since childhood. To use the battle skills he had drilled into his mind with such care that they became part of his instincts now. To feel his heart race with adrenaline in the heat of battle ...for that one last time.

But the voice inside his head had stopped him. It was that voice which always rose up to make him aware that he as a voivode had responsibility to his people. He couldn't just let his own desires win. His life wasn't his own, it never was, it always belonged to his people. He was there to serve. And starting a fight here and there wouldn't do them much service, what if they'd risen up and started fighting the guards themselves? That would result in a bloodshed.

He looked back at his people with an apologetic smile.

But they weren't satisfied, no, they had started to rally even more when they noticed he'd actually considered their proposition. Someone started shouting his name, and more people joined. They wanted to see. They wanted to see their Vlad Voda fight one last time.

Vlad again eyed the surrounding, his eyes narrowing in focus as he was taking assessment of his situation. Then he smiled with a playful smile. Truly, there was no chance. But he himself was curious - how many soldiers he could take down before they'd overpower him? One? Two? Five? It was surely a challenge with conditions like this, especially since his own arms were still tied behind his back. But he always rose up to a good challenge!

And if this was the wish of his people, he'll hear out their call! All his life was tied down with responsibility, but maybe now, moments before his own end, he could let himself be free. He deserved at least that one short moment of freedom.

So be it then!

He gave his people a mischievous smile as his old fighting spirit was rekindled in his green eyes. The crowd had noticed and held their breath with excitement. But the guards, who didn't see his face, didn't notice. And so he striked!

In one fast moment, quick as the strike of lightning and just as deadly, he'd butted the head of a soldier next to him with his forehead. The soldier shrieked out with pain as his nose broke and sprayed him with shower of blood. Before the other soldier had even time to notice what happened, Vlad had already managed to slam with full force into his belly with his shoulder, effectively bringing the soldier to the ground. The crowd cheered loudly. Seeing Vlad fighting was a symphony to behold. Vlad was always an excellent fighter, there wasn't anyone who could've bested him in one to one combat. Even here, overwhelmed, his moves were lightning fast, and his hits powerful and resourceful too. When he couldn't use his arms - as they were tied behind his back - he used his feet instead, kicking with deadly precision at the weakest points in the soldiers defences, who weren't prepared for such an unorthodox attack from below. While they were trying to grab him, he'd kicked them out of balance, toppling them to the ground before they could even use their weapons. Vlad had moved with the swift elegance of a deadly dancer, dancing between their pole arms and using his legs, head and shoulders to carry out strikes. He even managed to make use of his elbows, restricted that they were. And at one moment he made a soldier run away while only using his fierce expression, he was proud of that one!

No less than eleven soldiers were out before one managed to hit Vlad in the back of his head with the pommel of a sword, bringing him to his knees. Another five soldiers clasped him, taking a hold of every inch of his body should he find a way to use that in a fight somehow. The crowd shouted with disappointment. Vlad gave them one last look, an apologetic smile across his face, as if he was saying "I did the best I could, but the odds weren't in my favour. Forgive me.

But thank you. It was fun."

With the corner of his eye he saw the massive blade of the executioner's sword swing. He bowed his head in reverence, accepting his fate with grace.

And then, just a moment before the sword fell and severed his head from his body, one single tear dropped from his eye. It had the vivid colour of blood - a condition he was affected by since childhood. The scarlet tear contrasted brightly with his pale face as it made its way across his cheek, found a way through his beard, until it reached his chin and from there dripped on the soil of his kingdom.

It wasn't a tear spilled over a sadness of his life, or the cruelty of his fate.

It was a tear mourning what could've been but wasn't to be anymore.

And as his enemy has grasped his raven black hair and lifted his severed head for all the people to see, the face of Vlad Draculea had for one last time looked down at his people. And on his face has been clearly strewn his last expression, now etched there for the rest of eternity. It showed his people kind smile, yet his brow was full of courage, his fighting spirit staying alive even while his own soul has left the mortal plane.

Because his face told to his people this last message:

"We have lived. We have fought. And it was worth it!"

And his people have never forgotten this. Outside of his realm he became known as the sadistic tyrant from the woodcut-printed stories. But his OWN people have never forgotten who he really was. Even as the dent of time has stripped down every living memory of him, deep down they remembered.

Even 550 years later.

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~

Made in thank you to the marvelous community around the real Vlad Draculea. The illustrious Corpus Draculianum, working tirelessly on finding new knowledge about Vlad, buried in old documents and archaeological sites. For their dedication in clearing Vlad’s name in the eye of the public, fighting against vampiric monsters and child-eating tyrants, however impossible a task that seems to be. And also as thank you to the Vlandom, the amazing community which celebrates what could Vlad teach us still, and in their works, be it written stories or memes, make him live once again.

… And last but not least:

Mul��umesc, Măria Ta.

.

[makoredeyes]

Hey, have you ever found yourself wondering how characters like the Iron lords would react to most modern day tower guardians, if they just suddenly found themselves in the present? Because from what I can tell in the lore, light bearers in the dark age were very different to most average guardians.

In fact it's even stated in the Electronia shell that Guardians canonically dance a lot more than a civilian would expect. It's even stated in things like the War Mantis Greaves and Cloak that guardians mapped the entire cabal war net by having a dance off which is also a reference to the Japanese launch trailer for vanilla D2.

So while I imagine that older light bearers are use to strange things occurring from time to time I also can't help but think they would be utterly astounded by the sheer absurdity that tends to happen around most present day guardians. As well as the fact that they tend to walk around with the weaponized corpses of space gods like they're collectables.

The whole thing just makes me laugh thinking about.

Well yeah I think about it a lot I've been spending the last year and a half writing an entire series aimed at, among other things, bringing a handful of these guys up to the present timeline after all. Which finally Just Happened by the way.

But what I think you're getting at here is kind of the "medieval peasant is shown tiktok and mind is blown" kind of joke and tbh... people's minds are more flexible than that. Humans have been dancing, making weird fashion, experimenting with science, culture, sex, weapons, humor, art, storytelling, etc., since the dawn of time and they will continue to do so until the Vex have their way and they are the last of anything standing. Saladin has adjusted just fine after all. And we have further evidence of his social and cultural flexibility by how he's shown evidence of integrating in with Caiatl's legion. He merrily references Cabal culture now in his dialogues as often as he does the ways of the Iron Lords. He mingles with the remaining old guard, Coalition aliens, and New Lights just entering the Crucible with equal ease. If his brethren were to be fast-forwarded from the Dark Age to the modern City Age, I don't think they would struggle at all. Oh, there'd be an adjustment period: the City has grown. The outlook on the use of Light and Darkness has shifted. Our enemies and allies have changed somewhat. This would be the same for anyone who went back to a place they'd been away from for a long time. I don't think cultural things like dancing and fashion would bother anyone. Either they'll adopt these changes or they won't. There are people living in the tower that are tens of centuries old: Figures who have lived through literal epochs over and over who have not changed and have no need nor intention to, and are not bothered by what brings fleeting joy to others in increasingly darkening times. Actually, the only person I can think of at all that expresses any discomfort at all is Lightless: Hawthorn, who subtly implies in some ways she is uncomfortable being in the City versus the wilds...but that is different as well. As for the age-old Guardian tradition of repurposing our enemies into tools of war... that kind of malarkey was born from the Dark Age as a means to an end in a time where survival was harder than ever and you did what you had to do to get by. Sometimes that included ugly things. I'm going to point at how ostensibly heinous the act of entrapping a half-dead Ghost in your own armor is but aside from a feeble protest by a few of the Iron Lords prior to bringing him into their number, nobody bothered Felwinter about this ever. They'd be fine. They're smart, powerful, and the people who survived the Dark Age are some of the most adaptable out there by definition. If anything I would think they'd be buoyed to see the newer generations finding scraps of levity and joy amidst a war for survival. That's the reason Jolder was so treasured, after all, was her joyful outlook. Everyone who's survived all that will say times now are better. It's good.

[paracosmic-murdock]

vigilante like me

chapter eight: we could be the way forward, and i know i'll pay for it

pairing: matt murdock x black widow!vigilante!reader

summary: nights and nights of playing the hero as if that could redeem you that easily ended up taking you to new york, where you accidentally met the man who would turn your world upside down. a vigilante like you.

warnings/tags: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, injuries, mentions of murder and themes explored in the past couple chapters, mentions of reader being able to wear matt's clothes but it's not specified whether they're too big/too small/fit perfectly/etc., phd in applied flirting and ma in yearning studies, some smut (minors dni), takes place sometime during the blip, when born again comes out we might find out if my decisions of who were gone were right, spoilers/references of stuff and themes from daredevil (2015); avengers: infinity war (2018); avengers: endgame (2019) black widow (2021); and hawkeye (2021), but y'all must've watched all of those already so idc, yelena belova and the themes and events from the black widow (2021) movie are very relevant in this plot, song: cowboy like me (taylor swift)

word count: 3.6K

✰ chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six | chapter seven

✰ mila's anthology (main masterlist)

“You alright?”

Matt nodded. “Yeah, why?”

“You're just acting weird,” you commented. “Are you sure you're alright?”

“I am, yes.”

“Okay,” You let it go, not quite convinced but also not wanting to keep him from leaving any longer. “So, you're going out now?”

“Uh, I guess.”

You pursed your lips. “Okay.”

“Are you alright?”

“Perfectly fine.”

The two of you sat in silence, both clearly hiding something, neither daring to give anything away.

“You went out,” Matt noted.

Your heart jumped in its place, which made him frown. Were you that affected at the thought of him knowing what you were up to?

“How do you know that?” you asked him, almost knowing the answer already.

“I smell a different fabric softener,” he replied. “Mine doesn't have any smell, and yours is coconut. There's also gunpowder. Coffee, the good one. Those weren't here before I left.”

You nodded. “I needed my clothes. And to protect myself in case they come for me… you know I couldn't take a punch if my life depended on it.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Matt sat beside you. “I could've gone with you.”

“No,” You shook your head. “I don't want them going after you. I know they couldn't take you, but I'd rather not risk it.”

“Okay,” Matt replied. “Anything else you'd like to talk about?”

“Such as…?”

“Are you going out again?”

“I'm not,” you lied, and, for the first time, Matt heard your heart beat faster. “Are you?”

“Yes, like every night.”

You put your head on his shoulder. “What's wrong with you? You're acting weird.”

“I'm just worried about you.”

“That's not it,” You sighed. “Do you… regret what happened between us?”

He immediately turned to you. “Sweetheart, don't say that. Don't ever believe something like that, alright? I like you, and this between us, whatever this is is what I want. You're what I want.”

“Are you sure? Because-”

“I am sure,” he confirmed. “Now, why don't you go to sleep? I'll be back as soon as possible.”

“I will, yeah.”

Matt kissed your forehead and stood up, ready to get changed.

You watched him attentively. The way he hesitantly searched for his suit as if he didn't know where it was or how he stopped for less than a second to focus on you.

He eventually left his apartment, and once you thought he was far away enough, you searched for the voice messages Svetlana had sent you not too long ago.

“I found the address of the apartment they rented. They've been here for a few weeks now, so I guess they were carefully plotting how to get to you,” she began. “Let me know when you leave your place so we can meet somewhere and get there together. I'm not sure we'll find them just like that, but we'll start from there.” The first audio ended there, and you played the second right away. “Someone I know has access to security cameras all around Hell's Kitchen. I'm pretty sure he hacks them or something. I called him, and he said he'd look for them tomorrow morning so we can see if they left or what. You know he works with the Russians and they're close with the ones here, so I found one of them and mentioned I'm Fyodor's sister and to tell him I'm looking for him; gave him a burner cell number. I'll let you know what I find.”

Matt was listening to the entire conversation from the rooftop, and him suddenly going down the stairs made you flinch. “Shit, Matt! What the hell is wrong with you?! You scared the fuck out of me.”

“Are you going to kill Fyodor and Crosby?” he asked as soon as he reached the floor. Matt took off his helmet and left it on the coffee table in front of you.

You bit your lip, hesitant. “Matt…”

“I'm not gonna stop you, I just want to know.”

“What do you think I should do? Just let them beat me almost to death and get away with it?”

“I'm not saying anything, sweetheart,” He crouched in front of you. “Tell me what you and Svetlana are going to do to them.”

“We want to.”

He sighed. “You don't have to do it.”

“What do you think is gonna happen if I leave this to the justice system like you do?” you questioned. “I give them my ID and all that, they find out I'm not an official citizen yet, they send me back to Russia, and I get killed there. Then, they're taken into custody, they deport Fyodor and there he's not gonna face a single consequence because he has enough influence to be let out. And I don't know about Crosby, but I don't like the idea of him breathing.”

“I understand that,”

“Then what, Matt?” You just looked at him, and something in his eyes was just… different. “What will them in jail do for me and my peace? I need them to know they can't do whatever they want. What stops people like them from doing the crime is the punishment, Matt, and if they are immune to it, they will do whatever the fuck they want without a thought in the world.”

“Hey,” he called for your attention, and you just knew he was conflicted. His eyes on yours felt so heavy and afflicted, and you just wanted to know how to help him. “Tell Svetlana not to look for them.”

“Matt?” You cupped his face, trying to ease him. The idea seemed far too distant, but the look in his eyes, though blind, is one you know more than enough. It's like anguish in disguise pleading from behind the bars of one's pupils to be let out, figured out. Needing a peace you feel like you will never get back because you took something that wasn't yours to end with, and you must pay the price of that emptiness you left. “Did you do it?”

He pursed his lips and stayed silent.

His face spoke more than a billion words, and now you knew what was wrong.

“It's okay,” you mumbled, pressing your forehead against his. “It's alright, I'll tell Svetlana to stop looking for them.”

“Will you tell her I did it?”

You shook your head. “No, I'll make something up, okay? You're safe.”

“You can't take the blame for this.”

“Don't worry about a thing, Matt,” you assured him. “Tell me everything that happened and we'll figure it out. Just tell me everything.”

“I went to Fogwell's and Crosby was still in the alleyway where I left him,” Matt started. You took off his gloves and intertwined his fingers with yours. “I took him to an abandoned building near the dock and made him call Fyodor. When he arrived, I hit him and took him where I left Crosby. I asked them about what happened and I hit them because I had to. I knew I had to hit Crosby and make him regret assaulting you and trying to kill you, but the more he talked about everything, the madder I got. I couldn't stop, and I didn't until my hands hurt. By then, they weren't breathing anymore.”

“What did they say?”

He sighed. “That you had it coming. They insulted you and said they would do it again. Among other things.”

“Okay,” You left his couch and sat on the floor in front of him. “Where are the bodies? We gotta get rid of-”

“I threw them into the river.”

“I am sorry, Matt,” you said, feeling your heart break at the thought that he broke who he is because of you. “This was all my fault. I'm not even worth the bother.”

Matt shook his head. “Don't say that.”

“Matt?” You lifted his chin. “Stay with me tonight? Please?”

“I have to go.”

“I know that,” you murmured. “I know if you don't go out, people get hurt. I get it, but… I want you here.”

You had no idea how you could tell Matt how difficult it is going to be for him once he has to hit somebody else again.

“I can stay a little bit longer.”

“Okay,” You smiled lightly and kissed his lips. Matt smiled in the kiss and felt like everything will be fine someday. “Tell me something.”

Matt hummed, sitting beside you. “I wish I could see your face.”

“Wow, sir,” You smiled lightly. “You're not missing out on much. As for me, I wish I couldn't see your ugly face.”

“You're ruining my self-esteem.”

“Good,” You took his face in your hands and pulled him closer. “I really like you, Matt.”

“I really like you, too,” He smirked and drove his hands to your neck, stroking your skin softly until he kissed you. “Very much.”

Matt left not too long after that, not before promising he wouldn't eavesdrop anymore. So, you made the call.

“I thought you wouldn't call,” she said instead of greeting you.

You cleared your throat. “Yeah, sorry about that. I was out and forgot my phone at home.”

“It's okay. Where are we meeting?”

“We're not. It's done.”

“What? Did you-”

“They knew I was at my place, so they followed me to the dock where I was supposed to meet with a guy I know who was gonna help me find them,” you began, walking around Matt's living room as you tried to relive the conversation with him. “Suddenly, they approached me, but I didn't waste a second. I shot them both. They're now at the bottom of the river.”

“Oh,” Svetlana mumbled. “How are you?”

“I'm fine, just… shaken and sick of this life. Of running and having to do shit like this despite having been out of the Red Room for so long.”

“I get that,” she replied. “I am sorry about all of this. About my brother.”

“This was for you, too, Sveta,” you mentioned. “I hope we can be at peace now.”

“I hope so, too,” You knew she smiled. “Don't be a stranger, okay?”

You chuckled lightly. “The same goes to you.”

She hung up the call and you gave yourself the luxury of sighing in relief.

You wouldn't even think about the moment somebody else comes for you again. You're not alone now, right? There's Matt, and now he is your biggest concern.

Killing someone is that one thing you can never come back from. You know that better than anybody; taking a life, whomever it belongs to, changes you completely. Matt needs you now that he crossed the line you know he swore never to.

Especially because Matt did that in your name.

Now, you were in his bed, taking in everything around you.

Silk bed sheets, the good ones. A neat pile of laundry, ready to be organized. His phone, there in the nightstand. A lamp, new. It wasn't there before. You turned it on; it was dark.

Your heart jumped in its place, and you wondered if that is what they say in the movies that teenagers feel when they fall for the first time… Is it that you are falling or have you already fallen? You don't know that anymore, and maybe will never know.

You stood up, approaching the pile of clothes. They were his work suits and each was already on the hanger, which was labeled in braille and had English on the opposite side. You checked if they were all correct and hung everything in the closet.

Walking around the room wasn't enough to ease you now. You thought, perhaps, that there were sections of the apartment you were left to explore. He made you breakfast and dinner, and you went out for lunch with Svetlana.

Outside, you saw the bag he had brought from work. Curiosity got the better of you, and you went to the dining table and opened it. Grey curtains he doesn't need for himself.

In the fridge, a six pack of Stella Artois beers, quite different from the cheap ones you always saw him drink at Josie's.

A new mug. Blue, shorter and wider than his white one, probably so he could tell the difference between that one and his.

Before you could keep looking around, you heard his steps coming down the stairs.

“You're early.” you noted.

He took off his helmet, revealing a new cut in his left cheekbone. “Yeah.”

“Is everything alright?” You walked to him.

Matt nodded, but you knew better than to believe him.

You helped him unzip his suit in complete silence.

“Are you?” you asked again, putting your hand on his chest.

He chuckled softly. “Don't worry about me, sweetheart.”

“It's too late for that,” you replied.

Matt sighed.

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“Okay, we won't,” you said. “We'll sleep now. Or maybe talk about something else.”

Matt gave you a short kiss. “I'd like to sleep now. Let me take my pillows and-”

“Take them, where?” you asked him as if you didn't know what he meant and weren't plotting a way to get him to share the bed.

“What? Do you want to sleep in my bed with me?” He smirked.

“I do,” you confessed. “And I also would like to wake up with you in it.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Sure you want me, darling.”

“Sure I do.” you confirmed with a smile, one wide, at that.

“You're smiling,” he mentioned, mimicking your smile. “God, what a feeling.”

“What feeling?” You laughed.

“When you smile it just… it's a whole other thing,” he began. His hand went to cup your face, as if touching you enhanced that feeling he was talking about. “Your heart beats faster, but it's still calm, and your body temperature rises ever so slightly. It feels comforting when close to you, like when the sun leaks through the windows in the morning.”

“I didn't know you were such a charmer.” you joked.

“I'm sorry for hiding that from you.”

You shook your head and kissed him. “God, keep them coming.”

“You can't possibly understand how much I need you to get well so I can take you out to dinner,” Matt pecked your lips, leading the way to his bed like you wanted. “I hope you kiss on the first date.”

“It usually takes me at least five, but I think I can make an exception for you.”

Matt hummed. “By the way, how are you feeling?”

“Like I was stabbed multiple times, yeah,” you mumbled, soon cuddling in his bed. “And it hurts way more that this is something that was purposely done to me. That he knew I had to be unconscious because otherwise he wouldn't have been able to get to me like that, and that… a person I trusted did this to me, not to mention what I learned today that he did to his sister.”

“What did he do?”

“He and his father sold Svetlana to the Red Room,” you answered. “And that is shit, Matt, because… the Red Room was Hell on Earth. It was the kind of thing that makes you turn the TV off when you watch the news, it makes you want to throw up when you hear about it, or cry at the thought of your mother, sister or daughter ending up there. You grow pessimistic about humankind when finding out what the widows have done, and lose hope in this world completely when you realize what they did to us to make us do such things. They purposely gave their daughter and sister away when she was a little kid, and for what? Some pieces of paper with buildings on ‘em.”

You sighed.

“All the atrocities I've seen in this world could make you forget about the people fighting them everyday, or the people in the market selling you vegetables, or the owners of the coffee shop you pass by everyday. Or people like you,” you added. “Now that there's only half of us, you realize that there's more good people than bad people, and that it's not that simple. You know it because there's half as evil and twice as sorrow, and because you see how grief can change the path of any person for better or for worse.”

“But you're out.”

“Some days, it feels like I never left,” you confessed. “Some days, I wake up in such pain and so tired that I feel like this world isn't worth saving, that I've had enough. Those days, I decide for a little while that I won't fight anymore, but then… My neighbor's daughter is with him that weekend and she watches some Grimm Brothers cartoons about fairy tales that remind me of the messed up ones we used to watch there. I go out and step on branches, and it sounds like those bones I've broken… arms, legs, ribs, and necks alike. Fireworks sound like gunshots, history documentaries remind me that us widows took part in many of those. The ballet academy on my way to Fogwell's reminds me of those times we learned it and I was so afraid to mess up that I would have an anxiety no seven year-old should feel. The smell of hospitals reminds me of a wing in which they would take us to experiment on us sometimes, or when we got a hysterectomy done as some twisted initiation ritual. Blood, knives, guns, they go without saying. Little girls the age I was or other fellow widows were when we were taken. Screams. Darkness. Even words like target or just names, you know? In the Red Room, we were controlled by them to the degree that, to this day, we don't know which actions were ours and which, theirs. Some days, I just think that unawareness is bliss, and then… Then, I remember that a Widow is all I've ever been, and that I have no idea who I am outside a mission. I've never had a reason to question myself all that much, I just existed, worked, and tried to shut the voices in my head. Now, I feel like maybe there's hope for me. That I can live instead of survive.”

Matt kissed your forehead. “I admire you. I don't think many people who went through what you did could have the courage to be good after everything, but you do. Maybe you do fight, and it's not ideal for you, but you care. If you didn't, you wouldn't go out to help and take care of this city, you would pick fights and do bad things. As you said, good and bad… narrowing everything down to it is not simple at all. I met someone years ago, and, at the beginning, I thought he was some lunatic that mixed an intention with the worst way of execution. I thought he was insane because he killed so many people in cold blood; people who were bad, but I've always thought that justice is real. I know that punishment and deciding who lives and who doesn't isn't up to us. I think that most times, but when you are surrounded by so much depravity and evil, you question everything. He, uh- he did all of that because of his family. We know that killing the people responsible won't bring them back, but, deep down, you just know that it will bring you some comfort at least, however short it might be. He did all of that out of love and grief, and while I would never do anything like that and I would never justify his actions, I understand where he came from. Our intentions can be good or bad, but what really defines us is what we do with them… And it depends on the way you see stuff: you feel that you must fight, and you do it by saving others. Or, maybe, he saved others from the damage those people did and would keep doing, but he did it by committing mass murder. Some will condemn us or justify us, but the truth is that… it's not that simple, is it?”

“And it never will be,” you agreed. “You think you wanted me safe and that they deserved punishment for what they did, but you killed them. I think that, yes, you killed them, but I know I'm safe and so is Svetlana. You might see yourself as a murderer, Matt, but from the point of view of someone that was a victim of so much, I see you as a hero. There is so much goodness in you, and you can't let this take that from you. No matter what… you are not what you did last night, you are what you've done all these years for this city and its people.”

“I came back because, for a moment, I was there again, the moment their hearts stopped beating. First, I couldn't stop, and I couldn't keep going as soon as I came back to reality,” Matt said, finally letting out the reason that brought him back earlier than usual. “And I'm afraid I crossed a line, and that it will haunt me forever.”

“It'll pass,” You kissed his forehead. “One morning, every trace of this will be gone for good. For both you and me, and if you let me, I'd like to be there that day.”

Matt turned to you and took your hand, placing it where his heart is. “I'd love to be there with you, too. However long it takes, sweetheart, and I am serious.”

His heartbeat was steady and his eyes so telling that you wouldn't think he can't see you at plain sight. “I can tell that.”

He kissed your lips once more before holding you even closer and closing his eyes, ready to sleep. “The only heartbeat I care about now is yours.”

Wow.

taglist: @wh1sp @ateliefloresdaprimavera

[swiftiethatlovesf1]

A race for love p.24

Hii guyss, I hope you enjoy this part. If you've missed part 23 or the other parts you can find them on my masterlist :)

Formula 1 is all about speed, but in this story, the real race isn't just on the track. Read on to find out who will win the ultimate race-for your heart

The knock on your dorm room door startled you. Dropping your bag by the desk, you hurried over and opened it to see Oliver standing there, his familiar grin spreading across his face.

"Ollie!" you exclaimed, throwing your arms around him.

"Hey," he said, hugging you back tightly. "Good to see you too."

You stepped back and ushered him inside, where he immediately scanned your dorm room. His gaze lingered on the photo of you and Franco on the desk, but he said nothing, opting to settle on your small couch instead.

"So," he began, leaning back, "how's university life treating you?"

"Busy but good," you said, taking a seat across from him. "It's different, for sure, but I'm enjoying it. How about you? How's everything with the team?"

"Same old, same old," he replied with a shrug. "Though it's been quieter without you around to, you know, annoy us."

You rolled your eyes, laughing. "You're so dramatic."

His smirk faded slightly as he added, "But seriously, how are you? Everything okay?"

You hesitated for a moment before deciding to bring it up. "Actually... remember those weird messages I got?"

Oliver's relaxed posture stiffened, his eyes narrowing. "Yeah. Did something else happen?"

You shook your head. "No, nothing recently. But... I found out who it was."

"Who?" he asked sharply.

You sighed. "It was someone from Franco's past. Someone he was... involved with before we started dating. He didn't tell me her name because he didn't want me to worry, but he said it's over. He blocked her, and I haven't gotten any more messages. So I think she's moved on."

Oliver frowned, his jaw tightening. "And you believe him?"

"Yes," you said firmly. "He's been honest with me about everything. He didn't have to tell me about her at all, but he did. I trust him."

Oliver leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I don't like this, Y/N. Not one bit. If this girl was messaging you, it means she's not over him, no matter what Franco says. And if he was  hiding her from you, who knows what else he's not telling you?"

"Come on, Ollie," you said softly. "I know you're just trying to protect me, but Franco wouldn't lie to me. He's done everything he can to make me feel safe and loved."

Oliver didn't look convinced. His lips pressed into a thin line, and his brows knit together. "I don't trust him," he muttered.

You reached out and touched his arm. "It means a lot that you care, Ollie. You're like a brother to me."

He stiffened at your words, his gaze darting away from yours. For a moment, he looked like he wanted to say something, but he stopped himself. Instead, he forced a smile and leaned back.

"Yeah," he said, his voice quieter. "Brother."

To lighten the mood, you asked, "What about you? Anyone special in your life?"

Oliver's ears turned pink, and he immediately rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, no. Not really."

"Really?" you teased, leaning forward. "Why are you blushing then?"

"I'm not blushing," he shot back, clearly flustered. "And even if there was someone, I wouldn't tell you."

You laughed, shaking your head. "Fine, keep your secrets. But I'll find out eventually."

Oliver quickly changed the subject. "Anyway, have you heard about the dinner they're doing for the F2 drivers and their partners next month?"

You nodded. "I have. Franco invited me, so I guess I'll see you there."

He blinked in surprise. "You're coming?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't I?"

He shrugged, his lips curving into a small smile. "I guess I just didn't expect to see you there. But it'll be nice to catch up more. You know, without Franco around."

"I'll make time for you, Ollie," you promised with a grin.

The two of you spent the next hour reminiscing about old times in the paddock. Oliver shared funny stories about his teammates, and you told him about your classes and how much you missed everyone. Despite the tension earlier, the conversation flowed easily, and you felt comforted by his presence.

As he got up to leave, he hesitated by the door. "Take care of yourself, alright? And if anything weird happens with... her, call me. Promise?"

"I promise," you said, touched by his concern. "Thanks, Ollie."

He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. As he walked down the hallway, you couldn't shake the feeling that there was more he wanted to say. Still, you were grateful for his friendship and knew he'd always have your back, no matter what.

Tag list: @hs2016, @a-beaverhausen

[evil-mop-eating-sponge]

So.... I've been thinking and this might not make any sense and is not a solid theory by any means. I'm just having thoughts and sharing them.

There's quite a few scenes in Gravity Falls that hint at Ford before he's revealed. It literally starts in Headhunters, right at the start of the show when Stan gets jumpscared by the wax figure of him and to me at least, the entire episode felt a lot like Stan was projecting the wax figure as a version of Ford who didn't hate him or argue with him. Maybe he was practising for what he hoped life would be like when he got his brother back.

It's pretty obvious that Stan cares about Ford, hence trying to call him once, hanging up though becuase he's too afraid to talk to him, but he still wanted to know how his twin was doing. I think its likely that he wasn't calling to ask for help, but more wanted to know if his brother was okay despite the mistake he'd caused which "ruined" Ford's future and career, as far as Stan knew. Stan also went to find Ford without hesitation when he got the postcard, probably because as much as it kind of seemed like Stan just thought Ford wanted to see him, he probably knew his twin needed his help. Stan is obnoxious in his own way but not thick enough, expecially with all his self-hate, to think that Ford just wanted to see him for old times sake.

Once Ford is back and upset with Stan, I kind of felt like Stan was sort of resigning himself to the fact that Ford didn't and wouldn't thank him or valued the 30 years he'd sacrificed in any way. As tough as Stan acts, considering how the show ended, and how he's just as, if not more, self-sacrificing than Ford, it's a pretty safe bet, that if Summer had ended as normal and Ford has told him to leave, he would have done so in the night, not saying goodbye except maybe leaving Soos a postcard with a phone number or something, a hint of how to contact him because even if not said in the show, Stan probably knows about Soos' dad, considering that Soos had worked at the shack for 10 years. Even if he planned to dissapear, I think Stan would still try to be better than that guy.

So yeah, Stan cared about Ford even when he wasn't around, projecting his feelings and probably worrying himself to death about how to act once he got him back.

But then there's Ford.

In the show, Ford doesn't act caring of Stanley until the very end, when Stan sacrifices himself and Ford realizes, literally too late, that Stan is more than a selfish conman who only lies and cheats.

In Journal 3 he mentions many times what a liar and a cheat Stan is and how he hasn't changed at all. He also continues to refer to him as Family though even after Stan calls Mabel and Dipper "The only Family I haveleft". Despite this, Ford still doesn't express care for Stan really until he's trying to help get all his childhood memories back.

The thing for me with Ford is that in the same way Stan projected onto the wax figure, Ford probably had similar coping habits.

From my experiance, when you have siblings, there's a natural love you hold for them. When you fight, as angry as you are, eventually you feel sick because this is your sibling and you love them and you really do not want to fight. And it can be really hard expecially if you feel the other is in the wrong but there's this weight on your chest crushing you the longer you don't make up. And if you're both stubborn then naturally neither of you wants to give in first.

And I think this is what happened with Stan and Ford. While with Stan the guilt is visible, stemming from breaking (accidentally) Ford's project, it's near impossible that Ford didn't feel this way to some extent. Ford may be a scientist who works with logic and not emotions but he is not, as proven in the show and adjourning bookd, exempt from them.

Part of Ford's obsession with his research and his work could be that it was his coping mechanism with missing Stan, the doubt that maybe he did the wrong thing in turning his back as his twin asked for his help. In a way, when Stan tried to destroy the first journal and Ford jumped him, he was trying to prevent Stan from erasing the justifications of his actions. Without that journal, the work, he'd have to confront being grateful that Stan still came even after how things were last between them. He'd have to accept that he missed his twin. Without the imminent threat of Bill because the journal would be destroyed, Ford would have to actually talk to his brother, hear him out and that probably scared him.

In all his research, Ford let himself become close with one person. Fiddleford McGucket. Unpopular opinion ahead and not offense to any Fiddauthor shippers, but I think it's possible that Fiddleford was to Ford the same projection Stan had for the wax figure. A "better" brother. One who didn't argue with him, understood him, was still there. I think a lot of the care that Ford showed Fiddelford was him partially trying to release some of that pent-up love he still had for Stan. He had all those feelings but didn't want to make up with the one they were for and tried to channel them into someone else. Maybe Ford even thought they were or romantic origin to deny they really came from.

If this were the case, then Fiddleford leaving, abadoning him, not helping with the portal anymore probably reminded Ford too much of when his project suddenly didn't work, he discovered it was Stan's fault and then promptly lost his twin, his only friend, the one who was always there. Fiddleford had been the only person since Stan so I imagine the effect would have been very similar to then which probably didn't help the already muddled emotions Ford had when he did finally see Stan again.

Ford and Stan had different yet similar coping mechanisms to being apart and in a fight. It also makes sense to me then why they were able to fix their bond so quickly after wierdmaggedon. In a friendship it would take a lot of time to heal around 40 years or hurt (pre-portal was at least 10 years if not more) but since they are brothers, twins at that, there was just this understanding that while there's still a lot to talk about, they've done the hardest past. Admitting they still care.

If anyone read all this T-T Thank you :) these are just random thoughts of mine :P

[psychopomp-namine]

"a photo can only be used once" — let's revisit S2E8

just thinking out loud. what does it mean in link click that a photo can only be used once? once per timeline? once per person (since we have multiple people with dive abilities, I think this is an important question)? once throughout the timelines? let's puzzle this out.

also if someone remembers what episode this rule was mentioned, please let me know! I know it was said by someone but I forgot by who and in which context and I don't feel like rewatching episodes right now...

i. once throughout the timelines? once per timeline?

I once thought it's once throughout the timelines, but that can't be the case, because if lu guang resets the timelines all the time then they shouldn't have been able to repeat their client cases. we know that they repeated the emma, ouyang, and doudou cases at least. I highly doubt they used a different photo each time. it's more likely that cheng xiaoshi had to have dived into the same photo for these cases, especially since lu guang implies that he's been using his memory of the past timelines to control the present one. with the emma case in particular, they wouldn't have had many photos to choose from as a diving point.

similarly, it's implied in yingdu that lu guang was there to help cheng xiaoshi find a picture of the bahati fire in a previous timeline. and he was there in the previous timeline when cheng xiaoshi dived into it. so, again, it seems we can reuse photos after a timeline reset.

initially I also thought that when lu guang said in yingdu that this is the "last time" he can time loop, it was because he ran out of photos to use. but if we follow the logic above, a photo use seems to "reset" when the timeline is reset so that can't be the reason why he thinks this is the "last time" he has, right? does the logic here seem sound here?

other potential reasons that he could feel it's the "last time" could be: a) his failing health; b) he thinks diving into the same photo will end in the same result, so it's "useless" to dive into a photo more than once and it's "better" to try others; c) some other reason we don't know yet.

ii. once per person?

so it's probably once per timeline. but what about once per person?

let's establish the first part. I think it's fair to assume that a photo can be used once per timeline (until the next reset). this is why cheng xiaoshi had to us multiple photos in the noodle episode, instead of retrying the same one. it also meshes with their M.O. of not changing the past, which limits what they can do in one photo.

however, I have another question. can a photo be used by multiple people at least once? I'm thinking of the hostage episode in season 2 when "lu guang" saves cheng xiaoshi from being kidnapped.

afaik the show doesn't lean in any direction so far when it comes to answering this question, so we'll mostly be talking in hypotheticals now.

it's a chicken and egg scenario, right? in order for cheng xiaoshi to dive as lu guang to save himself and not change the past, there must have been a previous timeline where this past has already happened and lu guang already saved cheng xiaoshi. because to get lu guang's phone to initiate the dive, cheng xiaoshi must reach a point where he got past the kidnapping in the first place.

it's a closed loop, but different from the other closed loops cheng xiaoshi has done before. usually, cheng xiaoshi goes through the motions of what has already happened. in the episode hostage, the show implies that what is happening (lu guang saving cheng xiaoshi) is a result of future actions (cheng xiaoshi diving as lu guang). it's still a closed loop, but the change is future-oriented instead of past-oriented.

hypothetically, could lu guang also have already saved cheng xiaoshi before in S2, thus allowing cheng xiaoshi to dive into the hospital photo?

but it's not without precedent. the closest analogy we have is the earthquake arc. chen xiao is only able to request cheng xiaoshi's help because cheng xiaoshi already dived as chen xiao in the past and saved his camera. we've established early on that this kind of closed loop is possible.

now, let's talk alternative hypotheticals. no evidence basis, just pure thought experiment.

hypothetically, one can argue that saving the camera is something chen xiao could have already done himself in some other way. cheng xiaoshi could have unknowingly repeated the same actions.

I do think that canonically, cheng xiaoshi used the hospital photo and lu guang didn't, since we don't have evidence to prove lu guang has used it yet. however, for funsies, walk with me through an alternative scenario. what it lu guang already used the photo and saved cheng xiaoshi from being kidnapped? and that's how cheng xiaoshi gets the opportunity to dive as lu guang? but for lu guang to do that, he must inherit the dive ability again because it only lasts 12h and he doesn't have it anymore by S2. but in order to do that, cheng xiaoshi must have died again at some point. did he die in S2? did S2 happen twice already in the timelines?

the reason I bring this u is because there's one thing that bothers me is in S2, which is that lu guang took the hospital photo as a save point. and it's implied that S2 occurs on the timeline yingdu arc has set, since the last episode has cheng xiaoshi repainting the shop some time after the conclusion of the li twins case.

so. if lu guang already thought all the way back in bridon that this loop is his "last chance" then why would he take the hospital photo in the first place, thus planning to do another time loop if necessary? one could argue he was just being a desperate control freak (valid) but it would kinda undermine his determination in yingdu to make this timeline the last one, right? so which is it?

anyway, point is, is it possible for lu guang and cheng xiaoshi to both used the hospital photo? even if this isn't the case and cheng xiaoshi is the only one who used the photo, is it possible for multiple people to dive in the same photo? this technically would not violate the "a photo can only be used once" rule if the rule applies to one person per timeline.

I'm sure there's probably some detail I'm forgetting that would debunk this or something, so please lmk what I'm missing here. I know link click is best analyzed through themes and character arcs rather than plot, but it's still fun trying to figure out the time travel logistics in this show

see if that's the case, that opens up a world of other possibilities. for example, we could have a scenario where cheng xiaoshi or lu guang dives into the same photo shao yuanyuan already dived into.

a fun little thought experiment.

[blackstar-liveblogs]

Alright, potentially last post of the day.

I did not only watch Krow, but I also tried to find Scott across the POVs as much as possible, because man was discussing lore and spilling more important lore pieces for his character off-stream.

What I catched tr!Scott did and say today (any referenced dialogue will be heavily paraphrased) (also read more cuz not a short list of events):

- He jumpscared Owen and asked what happened after he left the day of the ball.

- Owen: We failed and they (the three chosen) vanished.

Scott: ... See, this is why you don't do the maximum effort.

- Owen: So yeah, Aimsey is gone forever.

Scott: Oh- What do we do now then?

Owen: I mean, I don't know, our faction leader is still here-

- Scott mentioned that he returned to the castle to retrieve his things. A Keeper was there but not replying, so he went around and took his designated shulker box, then another Keeper showed up and he basically said ''I only took my stuff, I swear.''

The Keeper also gave him the Teal Titans' base painting.

- Scott showed Owen that during the first game of the ball he grabbed the materials for a Maze. He held onto them, waited if a team ever asked for them, but none ever did, so now he's going to make his own Maze.

- Owen briefed Scott on what the Keepers said of ''now that your most valuable members are gone, let's see how you manage the quests'' and showed him the quests. Then, mentioned that the three vanished are permanentely gone. Scott was taken aback but asked if he was sure.

Owen: I think it's hopeful thinking, to be honest.

Scott: You... don't want Aimsey, Ros and Pangi to come back?

Owen: (Laughs) Moreso Ros.

Scott: Yeah, I get it. Like, if someone you don't like disappears, you would not want them to come back.

Owen: Exactly.

Scott: I can understand some of this stuff.

- Scott parted ways to grind cyan dye and wool for the quests. Also discovered that Bad's farm already had sheeps with cyan wool, and both him and Owen concluded that CPK did that earlier that day.

- Scott showed up again at the castle while Foolish, Tubbo, Ros and Bek were talking.

They talked a bit about the Maddening, the corruption and how it could be affecting Ros. Foolish mentioned that between Ros' changes in behaviour was ''less violent.''

Scott: (Turns to Ros) Wait, you don't want more violence? (Kinda excited silly chanting). No more violence! No more violence!

Ros: I mean... what kind of violence?

- Foolish proposed that Scott and Ros should be attached to the hip (or something like that).

Scott: ... Why would I need to be attached to the hip with Ros? (Turns to Ros). Not that I mind, you've been lovely with me so far.

Ros: Oh, thank you...

And he gave her golden apples.

- The conversation turned very loud, which made Scott overstimulated and he irish goodbye'd out of there. He went to find Pangi at his house.

- He asked if he was okay. Pangi told him about the Null and how Aimsey and Ros got affected by the corruption, but he is fine. Scott pointed out the purple on his arm, but Pangi brushed it off as ''his mind it's fine and doesn't know why.''

Scott said that what he thinks is that all three of them went through a traumatic event and might need time to recover, just like he needed time to adjust after he was a snail.

They talked about the corrupted people with clear evidences, like Pili and Aimsey. Scott actually did not know Aimsey had a purple eye until Pangi pointed it out.

Scott mentioned the people who were fully reset and came back fine, so they don't know how it exactly works. He also thinks that Owen came back more sane, so he doesn't really dislike the conversations they have.

- Ros joined the conversation eventually, and Scott reassured her the same way he did with Pangi, mentioning his own experience. Here is where we get the new important piece of information for his character.

Scott: I asked about the Null to see if it was something similar to where we were when we were snails. (Pangi told him it was like a never-ending tunnel). I think what we felt was like a... warm box.

And

Scott: I don't know anything from before I was a snail, I just know... feelings that I had. But I'm re-learning everything, which is kinda hard when everyone on this land resorts to violence so quickly.

(OP side note: tr!Scott showing to be fond of his ''giant snail buddies'' always coming back to meeeeeeee).

- Scott mentioned his observations that some people were shocked that they were back or the fact that they could come back at all.

- More people joined in at Spawn. Krow eventually did too, and again, my crumbs when Snoozer put Foolish on Krow's head.

Scott: Wait, Krow, you have him hostage, go go!

Krow: Oh yeah! (Runs to the water).

Scott: Drown him, drown him!

- He offered Ros the Teal Titans' HQ as a place she could go if she wanted to rest and be alone, and that she did build it after all, he just did the interior.

Ros did not remember this, so he pointed out where it was and saw her leave.

- He gave golden apples to Snoozer.

Shortly after, Scott logged off for the day. I don't think he had any chance to talk with Aimsey since they were very busy with their contract mission alongside Sneeg. But I'm not entirely sure, I did not witness everything that happened today nor every stream, people are free to correct me.

But he was doing what he usually does. Gathering as much information as he can of the situation to understand it and form his point of view. Also loving to have more crumbs of his lore.

Is it like really bad to hope he and Krow get to do lore together once he knows about who he used to be? (I am not that hopeful Freddie and Jonnaay will log on soon gkbgk).

That I want to believe he was not told about yet, because it's quite an important revelation for his character and man was off-stream fjvfkgkh.

Let's see how it plays out.

[cagenewman]

Intimacy between them had always come so easily, felt natural. From the first time until the last time, he had always felt at ease with her, had never hesitated to show her what he liked, to let her guide him through what she wanted in return. The last thing that Cage wanted was for that to be altered in any way, for either of them to feel like sex was something that they needed to think about only in terms of numbers and figures and dates on a calendar. "I don't want to have sex with you because we have to meet a deadline or … well, because we have to, period, I want to have sex with you because I love you," and that was the bottom line. Cage's gaze dropped from her face to her body, dragging low for a moment before he flicked his gaze back up to her face and let out a half laugh, because he had liked it, too. More than he had wanted to let on; it wasn't that he was restrained with her, it wasn't that he held back, she wouldn't want him to, but it had been something tense and something passionate, and he knew that they had both enjoyed themselves, but it didn't mean that he wanted to think of their child being created in a fit of anger, in a moment of uncertainty, even if it wouldn't have changed the love that he held for them. "We can have hot, rough sex any time you want, just … maybe without the broken lamp and knife play." That last part was a joke -- even if he had used the knife to take her dress off. He didn't have to be angry with her to give her what she wanted. "Logically, I know that. It's something that happens, but in the moment, finding that out, it's all I could think about, you know? That I did this, I put too much stress on you, on the situation, that's why I want to make sure when we do this, when we try, we don't stress out about it." Trying for a baby should be fun -- of course there were going to be moments of disappointment and worry, that was a part of life, too, but he wanted to enjoy the process, wanted to look back on this time in their life with fondness and warmth. "I think I was less upset with the fact that you were pregnant and more upset with the fact that I wasn't there for you," he admitted quietly, shrugging one shoulder, "and it just…" he lifted his free hand and snapped, "I knew I had to be, for you and our baby." And once that feeling had settled into his chest, it hadn't gone away, not when he made her those muffins, not when he started thinking about changing their office into a nursery, and not when they were told that there wouldn't be a baby. Everything had changed the day that she had put that test on his desk, and it had only solidified when it changed again in that doctor's office. "Alright," he laughed, nodding his head, "I'll do the heavy labor, you gals write up the score cards. She's an incredibly harsh critic, black cats have the most ridiculous attitude, you know that?" But he wouldn't have changed her for anything.

Swaying with the shove, Cage let out a louder, more jovial laugh, swinging back around to wrap his arm around her, pulling her into his side. "Doesn't matter, I'll be there," he said with certainty, nodding his head. Whether she was going to be sick every morning, or spend her days longing for the sweetest, most sugary foods that she could get her hands on, Cage would get her anything that she needed. Do whatever she wanted. There was a certain level of excitement to his voice as he looked down at her again. "You'll have a bump," which, duh, of course she would. But for some reason, it just hit him that she wouldn't be his ex-girlfriend that he ducked down the grocery aisle to avoid when he saw her pregnant years ago in their small town. It wouldn't just be a photograph in an album, something she pointed out to him on lazy, rainy afternoons. But Cordelia would have a bump, a belly, she would be growing their son or daughter in there as she baked brownies for Cienna's class, or helped Rosalyn pick flowers from the garden. But he couldn't think about that, couldn't let himself get that distracted -- the boys. They had to talk to the boys first, that was where he put his thoughts. "Shawn had Cienna, and Colton's been amazing with Archie, whenever he's around him," he pointed out with a nod. Sure, he might have teased Lucie about dirty diapers and messy burps whenever he spent time with his cousin, but he still was so gentle and careful with him as a newborn that Cage didn't worry about that. "It'll be… a lot to take on, adding a baby to a family with four kids, but I think we can do it. I just -- I need you to remind me sometimes that I can do it. I don't doubt that you can do it," he let out a soft laugh, "but unless you want my whole head to go gray…" he wasn't quite ready for that experience just yet. But they didn't need to worry about how much money a baby was going to cost when they were shopping. Ironically. That would come later. Until then, jewelry. "Mhm," he agreed with a nod, temporarily distracted by the smell of her hair as it brushed against his nose, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and then looking at the pieces in the case. Raising a brow as Cordelia said that she wanted something pre-1940s, Cage was impressed, though he kept that to himself as he watched the exchange, talking when prompted, mostly letting his wife and the attendant speak as he stepped to the side to examine a few pieces himself. Each ring that Cordelia tried on, he had some sort of comment for, a thumbs up or a thumbs down, interested, but wanting it to be her decision until he saw the look on her face, the way that she picked up her hand just enough to catch the light, turning it so that the diamonds shone. He didn't need to ask Cordelia if she wanted it, didn't bother to put it to a question as he reached into his back pocket to pull out his wallet, holding the card out with a low laugh. Cage knew his wife by now, far too well. "She'll take it."

There was almost a relief in Cage's eyes when she said she wasn't going to make this into some kind of thing they planned every single bit of. Maybe if they hadn't conceived in six months to a year they would consider talking to a fertility doctor and tracking at least ovulation but there was no need to go that way until they had to. They had the knowledge to know that Cordelia could get pregnant, it was just more about being the right time and hoping that it actually stuck around. Everything he said made sense, "No I get it, I don't want sex to become a business transaction, something we're strictly doing to get me pregnant. Kind of takes the fun out of it and I don't think we need to do that when we have a pretty great sex life as it is." Which was true, why ruin a good thing? Giving a roll of her eyes, "I didn't mind the bruises on my thighs and hips, I liked it." Looking at him a grin tugging at her lips, "I mean it, I enjoyed it, more than I wanted to admit because I was angry, but angry sex, kinda hot. Maybe a lot hot." she pointed out, because it kind of was, "And it's not some sadistic karma that caused all of this, it was the fact that my body wasn't ready to be pregnant. Maybe stress played a factor into it but no one knows the exact reasons, it wasn't like I fell, it wasn't like I got hurt or did anything crazy it just wasn't the right time. There's nothing wrong with how our first would have been conceived but I get wishing you had been more excited and I won't pretend that I wished you had been happier but I also understand that you weren't there yet." It was hard that for him to realize what he wanted he had to lose that very thing and then have to live with it as much as she did, only experience a different type of guilt feeling. Though neither one of them were guilty of anything. They had done their best with what they had been given, and now moving forward all they could do was try and hope for the best and that it wouldn't become a stressor to them personally or their marriage. Honestly, Cordelia was just happy that Cage was opening up about how he was feeling and everything that had been on his mind. Maybe getting away from Merrock for their anniversary had been the best thing, a place to openly talk away from everything, memories and just get it all out on the table and now look where they were? Communication was at least far better right now, not that she didn't expect there to be hiccups at times. "I can promise you that you will not catch me attempting to pick up hay bales prior to getting pregnant either." After losing the pregnancy so early she wasn't going to risk doing anything too crazy in case she got pregnant, and like what happened didn't know and cause any potential issues, but she also knew she'd go about a lot of her normal every day life like she had before. "Think that sounds fair, Twix and I will give you scores on how good you are at moving the bales, I'll get her her own little score board too." she offered a grin pulling to her lips, "But remember she may love you but she's a harsh critic."

Reaching out she shoved him gently, "Oh shut up, I could have cravings without being pregnant." Which was very true, Cordelia loved food and there was always a chance something could pop up in her mind that she would want, and it didn't mean she was pregnant. "Just buckle in, that's all I'm saying, because who knows I could have wicked cravings, or I could be horribly sick and threaten you to keep all food far, far away from me." Might sound a lot like her saying keep it out of the house and dramatics being her favorite form of emotions she might come up with some kind of crazy thought of get rid of it all, but she wouldn't actually mean it. They had four kids to keep fed, two of which were growing teenage boys that she was convinced were actually trying to eat them out of house and home. "No I agree, I was worried about telling them." When she had been expecting, the way her gut would drop remembering they had to break the news in a way that was kind of like, well here this is, without even having a conversation that they had or hadn't been considering this. Talk about the worst proof of non-safe sex to say it just happened to two teenage boys. "Know that that is where we're at that we can give this new little one, when he or she is ready to you know.... happen, the love and time they deserve. Deep down I think Colton and Shawn would love to have a baby sibling, I know Colton got to be around Rosalyn once she was almost a year old but think he would have enjoyed her as a baby baby, and like you said, Shawn loved having Cienna." she pointed out, maybe it wouldn't go so bad if they pointed out the fact that it was because of the four of them and how much love they proved in their family that gave them the ability to know one last child would be given that same amount of love, respect, and care needed. As she saddled up towards the few cases of jewelry it didn't take long to feel Cage behind, press up against her slightly, hands on her hips. "You know I've always loved the idea of a vintage piece, something that had history even if we don't know the history." Of course her ring was technically going to eventually fall into that category given it had been his mother's diamond. A woman approached them with a soft 'hello' and how could she help them. "Oh we're just looking, we're here on vacation for our anniversary and I kind of wanted to take a peek at a few things special maybe." The woman was kind and generous, asking them how long they had been married, them taking turns to explain the finer parts of their relationship from high school to reuniting, maybe leaving out their difficultly at first reconnecting and the whole soup debacle. "I was hoping to look at some bands maybe? For my left hand. Something antique, maybe pre-1940's if you have anything?" The woman nodding happily before returning with two trays of rings. "Oh!" Cordelia's eyes sparkling seeing all the pretty rings in front of her, definitely obvious that they were dated given the looks of some of them. Trying on a bunch the woman took the time again to explain each ring, the period it was from, Cordelia holding her hand up for Cage to see, knowing he was mostly there to oh and ah, before she picked up a particular ring, this one slipping onto her finger with ease. The woman explained it was from the 1920's, with miners cute diamonds, 7 to be exactly, and Cordelia knew it, the second it fit on her finger and held it up, the seven stones sparkling in the light, she had fallen in love.

[sincerelyrf]

me: *seeing people yell about how they did Glintshore & Percy's death in the show*

also me: ..................anyway

[devilsskettle]

The X trilogy + "psycho-biddy" influences

[beatcroc]

400 STILL GOING.

we are WELL on the way to this being my most played game of all time. it's DEFINITELY top 5, most likely top 3, and only outranked by things like, smash bros brawl and kid icarus uprising. older games don't track playtime like that as much but i'd be willing to bet my max in anything is like 600 hours, and that's from my whole careers the games. i havent even been on ringracers a full year yet! very scary.

there really isn't much to talk about this time; as you can see there's not a lot of change in the top guys [though i have been messing around with other parts of the roster more, comparing stats and techniques and whatnot]. this stretch has been almost entirely online play, though i have very recently made a return to time trials in efforts to just generally improve. i had plateau'd out for a LONG stretch there but i'm digging back in to find better routes to use triangle dashing as much as possible, as well as.............. ...........actually... ....learn how to brakedrift for real, which is requiring some annoying tweaks to my control layout and muscle memory. all in all though it hasn't been horribly invasive and i think the hokey method of taking tricky turns i'd been using until now actually still has its own niche/utility in conjunction with proper brakedrifting so that's fun. in practice all this has really meant is playing a lot of mecha sonic on 150cc because he's got the worst handling and highest speed so that's what's going to force me to Either BrakeDrift Or Eat Shit. been setting a bunch of new records and even snagging some platinum times with him now, which was literally not even the goal because i'm pretty sure mecha is Not Very Good in time trial mode, but the fact it's happening anyway i think speaks to my carving some more out of that skill ceiling :toot:

everybody give it up for 100 hours of ringracers