#cordelia 041

[cagenewman]

"Growth," he said with a laugh, but Cordelia had experienced a lot of growth from those years as an ornery teenaged girl, bossing around the cheerleading team, fending her boyfriend off from her fries, stiff upper lipping it when she walked into her house and had to deal with her parents. She was strong, she was confident, but he still sometimes caught glimpses of that girl that he fell in love with so long ago, and he was grateful that those would always be there, too. "Why don't we do something like that, then? That way you have your planner, I have my work planner, and we can have something for the house, notes about the animals or improvements that need done," stuff that would make their lives a lot easier if it was all in one place, easier to flip through. "You being all type A does come in handy sometimes," he agreed with a laugh and a nod, "during the warm months, I have a few people who buy eggs off of us, too, so it'll be good to record what we have, who we owe." He couldn't help but to let out a laugh as she 'compromised' with him by promising a full-sized horse before any other animals came to the farm, even though both of them knew that if Cage found a horse that he wanted, it was just going to end up in their yard, but he did appreciate her offer, none the less. "I want to wait. If we're serious about bringing a baby into this world, I don't want to overwhelm ourselves with animals and responsibilities, right?" What they had now, plus the little mini donkeys, that was a good start. It would be a good way to teach the kids a lot more about responsibility, see how they handled farm life before bringing in big animals. "Oh, she was using your heating pad," he nodded, "remember when I fucked up my arm and back and… all of me a couple of years back, falling off that ladder? She loved me when I had heat on. But she also does like you. I don't even think she views you as competition anymore," given that she was in love with Cage. It was good to see his girls getting along. "We'll see," he concurred with a small smirk.

Although it hadn't worked out -- for obvious reasons -- Cage had tried to be there for Colton's mother, had done his best to be a good partner for the couple of months that she was in town before everything had gone awry, but he knew that he could do better this time, that he could be there for whatever she needed. "I'd say that the only thing I ask for in return is for you to not make me go out at three in the morning to find baked goods, but I think we already established that's going to be a thing," and as much as he might want to whine and complain… he'd do it. She didn't even have to be pregnant for that. "You don't have to be scared," he promised her with another squeeze of her hand, "it's not going to change how I feel, but I think you and I would both feel better knowing that they understood that this is a decision that we're making for our family, and that we want them to be okay with it, we want to give them time to be okay with it," not to mention the fact that he was fairly certain they would be god awful at hiding a pregnancy from two teenage boys, if it were to happen. Morning sickness, Cordelia's cravings, mood swings in general… starting to put together a nursery. "That's fine," he assured her with an eager nod, "it's … different, it's your body, it's something that happened to you, I don't think we have to tell people right now. Maybe when… things are different, you know?" When they got a positive test and knew that a pregnancy was going to happen, when they felt ready to talk about what happened before alongside what was happening now. And if not, then never. That was okay, too. As she looked up at him, he felt a tiny bit of relief when she responded that she understood, that she knew it wasn't a decision that he had taken lightly, bringing her hands up to his mouth to press a kiss to her knuckles. "If we didn't have the girls, if we weren't putting two teenagers through college soon… if, if, if, you know? But we still got our dream, just a little different than how we imagined it." It might not have been three or four Cage and Cordelias running around; it might only be one. But it was a little Rosalyn full of sass and giggles, a Cienna with a heart of gold. A Colton with his father's old soul, and a Shawn with a dream that loved them. And a baby that would be made with and brought into so much love. "Yeah," he laughed, squeezing her hands a final time before turning to open the door, holding it open for her to enter first. "We can shop. What should we be looking for?"

"Some improvement is better than no improvement." Cordelia said confidently, no matter what he was pointing out with his fingers pinched an inch apart to prove it was only a smidge. To her, she didn't think of it as a flaw, so much as a quirky personality trait. Then again when it came to food could anyone really blame her after everything her mother had put her through at home, that when she came to enjoying other places, she wasn't so willing to share. When he asked about an animal planner she made a face, "You know that isn't a bad idea." she murmured, "It would make it so my planner for all the kids and us doesn't get so crowded when it already gets pretty full." Between football games and practices, off season training, the girls dance and gymnastics, Cage's different projects that were bigger that she liked to know where he was in town, her class schedule and exams, doctors visits, dentist visits, things got hectic. "So maybe we will do that, would be good for vet visits to the farm, knowing when to order food, medicines if needed, things of that nature. It's not a bad idea, admit it. Me being all type A does come in handy sometimes." Pointing out that it did in fact, and she was already making a mental note to pick up a small version of the planner she used every single year. "You will, a horse, we already said you get your full size horse, I get mini horses, thought we already discussed this, but that's further down the line. I'll even let you get your full size horse first if that makes you feel better? See I can compromise." Raising her brows a couple times as if she was making a point. "Twix is such a good girl, she was so good while I was in bed, she would lay on top of my stomach when no one was around but now that I'm thinking about it maybe she was just using me for the heating pad." she frowned, wondering if it wasn't actual love she was giving but stealing the heat from her heating pad. "We'll see, how about that?" she said knowing that who knew what would be going on a month from now when they were celebrating his birthday.

When he promised he wouldn't treat her like she was sick she nodded, she knew a lot of this was going to be give and take when she did get pregnant. If she got pregnant. "I'm not going to turn down back rubs or foot rubs if you're going to be willing to give me them when all of this happens, if it happens." Pointing out that she knew that it was something they weren't fully sure what would pan out for them. But that was something she wasn't really worried about, Cage had always been an amazing partner, knowing that there was balance to everything. Then there was the mentioning of talking to Shawn and Colton, "I know we should talk to them, and I guess I'm scared they will be upset by the idea of us having a baby together and I don't want that crushed when you finally came around to the idea." It was true, partial selfish, but once again, a gut feeling the boys would be supportive, if not more in the 'they didn't really care, just don't tell us' kind of mood. "We can have a support system, but I don't want to tell anyone right now that we lose a pregnancy, I'm just not ready to verbalize that to other people." Something she knew he would respect because it was her body. Watching him when he stepped in front of her, she looked up at him. "I know, I don't want them to get lost in the mix, that is never my intention, you can't blame a girl for trying though." After all it had always been her dream to have multiple little Cage and Cordelia's running around, "Look, I get you are making a huge compromise, and I know I will too, I get that this is going to be a one time thing, I do." she took a breath, and yes, while it was hard, she also respected it too. "Like I said, can't blame a girl for trying." a soft tiny laugh leaving her lips. As his hands took hers she nodded, and she could fully understand what he was talking about if it got to be too much. "Promise." she said giving a nod, "I promise. Now can we go shopping?"

[fe-cipher-secret-shop]

Fire Emblem Cipher Awakening Series 14 HN/N Cards

Hi all~

Like mentioned, I’m trying to update my blog and make it a little easier to navigate. In this post, I have a full set of Awakening and Tokyo Mirage Sessions HN/N cards from B14 available for sale for $7.50 and includes 36 cards shown in the pictures above.

Note: As seen in the pictures above, there are 3 different types of Risen cards. Only one of the 3 is included in the set (random).

Additionally, I have extras of some cards for sale as well. I’m selling my HN cards for $0.50 and my N cards for $0.25*. *The Risen cards are excluded from this and are $1.00 each.

Below is a list of the available HN/N cards (pictured above) and how many are available* (and their rarity):

B14-002 N Lucina *locked

B14-003 HN Lucina *locked

B14-005 N Chrom *locked

B14-007 N Robin (M) *locked

B14-009 N Robin (F) *locked

B14-011 N Cordelia *locked

B14-012 HN Olivia *locked

B14-013 N Morgan (F) x6

B14-015 N Morgan (M) x5

B14-017 N Owain x3

B14-018 HN Kjelle *locked

B14-019 N Kjelle x3

B14-020 HN Laurent *locked

B14-021 N Laurent x1

B14-023 N Cynthia x7

B14-024 N Cynthia x2

B14-025 HN Brady x3

B14-026 N Brady x9

B14-027 HN Yarne *locked

B14-028 N Yarne x6

B14-030 N Severa x3

B14-031 HN Severa *locked

B14-033 N Nah x8

B14-034 HN Noire x1

B14-036 N Inigo x7

B14-037 HN Inigo *locked

B14-038 N Gerome x4

B14-039 HN Risen Chief x1

B14-040a N Risen x1

B14-040b N Risen *locked

B14-040c N Risen *locked

B14-041 HN ??? (Morgan F) *locked

B14-045 N Itsuki x5

B14-046 HN Chrom (Mirage) *locked

B14-047 HN Chrom (Mirage) *locked

B14-048 HN Maiko *locked

B14-049 N Alice x4

B14-050 N Valjean x4

*Some cards are locked to the full HN/N set and will NOT be sold separately.

Shipping from the states. Shipping will depend on location and prices are around $5ish but will include tracking. International shipping will need to be estimated based on size of package and location. International shipping might not come with any tracking.

If you’re interested or have any questions, just shoot me either an ask or message! ^^

Thanks for your time and reblogs would be greatly appreciate. It’s hard to get attention on tumblr and the FE tags get flooded often and my post might not get noticed! ><

(Apologies for poor pictures! If you want to see any specific card alone and up close, just let me know!)

Last Update:  January 9, 2023

[revivalsl]

041 // DREAM

HEAD: Clasic Head v1.3 by Genus

BODY: Slink Physique Classic Mesh Body Hourglass

HAIR: DOUX - Cordelia hairstyle

BACKDROP: FOXCITY. Photo Booth - Dreamer

[cagenewman]

WHO: Cage & @cordelianewman

WHERE: Algonquin Resort (St. Andrews, New Brunswick)

WHEN: February 23, 2025

This was what they had needed, despite the reservations they had both had about going away, taking the time to escape life and reality and everything that had been plaguing them: the fight, the pregnancy, the loss. Valentine's Day had been wonderful, an afternoon of laughing over misshapen pottery attempts, a meal fit for royalty, sharing sparkling juice in the bath tub of their bed and breakfast room, and then the next thing he remembered was sitting in a doctor's office, being told that his wife wasn't pregnant, that it wasn't viable, that they had lost that chance. A chance that he had told her not very long before that he wasn't ready for... and suddenly was mourning the loss of. He watched her struggle with it, knew the physical side was tough, that the mental was hard, the emotional was devastating, and by the time the end of the week drew near, the decision was made: they were going to go away for their anniversary, ready or not. Ready or not. A four hour trip later, with plenty of stops along the way, passports in hand, they crossed the border and found solace in a historic little town.

And as the morning sun streamed through the patio doors and warmed their suite, Cage realized how little motivation he had to get out of bed. How easily he would have agreed to stay there, but only if she was there with him. He had, however, promised her a day of shopping, and that was probably the only thing that would have motivated his wife to get up and get out of bed early, hearing the steady chime of her phone and letting out a low groan, shifting his arms under the pillow. He felt the bed shift next to him, the tell tale sign of his wife up and moving, feet on the floor. Never in a million years could anything but the promise of cashmere and sparkling diamonds get that woman up early in the morning. "Did you seriously set an alarm to go shopping?" he husked, picking his head up and squinting through bleary, tired eyes as he watched her, short hair sticking up at odd angles, five o'clock shadow much more of a beard these days, every bit a disheveled, content man about to be dragged out of his warm bed to carry bags. And he'd do it every day, if she asked him to.

[cagenewman]

Lifting his hand, Cage held his fingers about an inch apart, as though to show that she really wasn't that much better at sharing now than she was back then. But he was pretty sure that he had actually had his hand slapped away from a plate of fries when they had sat in their corner booth at the diner. She might not slap at his hands now, but the looks could kill, he would vouch for that. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he let out a laugh as she talked about her planner, "are we going to have a little animal planner, now? Something with notes about when they have vet appointments, when we need to buy food, what dates the livestock auction is running…" actually, it probably wouldn't have been a bad idea. Something they could keep in the office, all the notes in one little rolodex to keep track of everything important. Farms were no joke, he had watched his father work tediously at maintaining theirs, knew that Kellan put in just as much work. Into that, and his goats, heaving a sigh at the emphasis on the word 'mini,' before shooting her a look. "Okay, but at some point here, I do get another full size animal." Although he had already made the plea for horses. But after a baby. The only work he wanted to add to their lives was the stuff that was going to be fun, for now. "And meanwhile, Twix watches from afar, like the princess that she is," the cat that he had gotten on a whim, that had ended up becoming his little girl. Head falling back a bit with a laugh as Cordelia talked about the work that went into changing her clothes, he shook his head, dropping his gaze to look over at her. "We'll come home, I'll tell you that I have to go lock up the house and conveniently leave a pair of my overalls laying on the bed, you do the rest." In all reality, if Cage got to have a platter of colcannon and fish and chips, watch Rosalyn and Cienna try some Irish step dancing, and head home with his family, it would be a good birthday.

But they had this conversation and their anniversary to get through, first, before that came along. One month's worth of steps at a time, wasn't that what it had been lately? This… was just the latest and the biggest. "No," he shook his head, "I won't, I promise." Cage knew what that was like, he didn't want that for Cordelia, didn't want her to feel like she couldn't do her every day, basic things that she wanted to do, couldn't make decisions for herself, but he wanted to be a good husband, an expectant father, didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to do those things for her. "Besides, I don't just mean the big things, I mean… let me give you a back rub when you're tired and sore, instead of playing it off, or tell me to cook dinner on a night when you just want to relax." Because she deserved that, too, she deserved to have an equal in all of this, a partner that would remind her that she was growing a little life inside of her, that she didn't have to tackle everything head on, all by herself. "Oh, I thought you were going to say make me make the furniture," he laughed heartily, shaking his head, "but I want that, too. I want to do this together, every step with you. And our kids, I want to talk to Colton and Shawn, and let them know what we plan on trying to have a baby, that we can't make any promises, but I want them to be okay with our decision. And I want to have a support system, too, even if it's just siblings, a few close friends, I need that. Don't want to tell the whole world," he shook his head eagerly, "I don't think either of us want that." But it wouldn't hurt to have his brothers and sister to talk to, her siblings when she felt ready. Neither of them had parents to turn to, to get advice from, neither had really experienced the picture perfect pregnancy before, with big family announcements, taking it step by step, and there was some excitement to the idea of doing it together. Doing it now. "Baby," he groaned softly, stepping around in front of her before she could head into the shop. "I just -- okay, one more thing, and this is the hard part. I want a baby with you. But I don't… know that I can ever offer more than that, and the reason is, I don't want Ci and Ros to get lost in that shuffle. They still need us, so much, and I still need you, so much. And…" he took a small breath, holding it, "the other thing is, I need you to promise me that if this -- if it becomes too much, becomes a struggle, I want you to know that I love you too much to do anything to risk you. If it doesn't happen, we tried, we can explore other options, but we never, ever let it ruin this, okay?" he reached his other hand out so that he could hold on to both of hers, squeezing them. "Promise?"

Giving a roll of her eyes, "I'm better about sharing my food then I was when we were teenagers." Back then you really could have lost a hand, but she would never hurt their children, they just knew to ask since did you really want kids taking food off of anyone's plates? When they were really little it wasn't like she would have yelled at them, in fact, she was usually sharing her food to get Rosalyn to eat to make sure she had a well rounded liking to foods. "That sounds like a good plan, that way I can get out my planner and make updates in it." Anyone that knew Cordelia knew she kept a well kept dated planner in a faux leather case that was basically her life. It keep important dates, information, everything she needed on the fly to keep a family of six organized. When he mentioned talking to Kellan she raised a brow, "We can talk to Kellan, but that's not going to change my mind from wanting mini goats." Putting emphasis on the mini part, because this was what she had said she wanted, a mini farm, she was just ensuring that it happened on her part. "He loves getting to curl up with the girls while they watch a movie and use him as a pillow, I think he's found his personal heaven when we put on a movie and the girls grab their blankets, he knows what time it is." It was a cute bond to watch between the two girls and their dog. One thing she knew for sure, those girls were safe with that dog anytime they wandered outside too, not that they ever let them wander too far without a watching eye. "Yeah but we're already going to be decked out in all green, that would requiring changing into a new set of clothes just to take them off again, that's a lot of work." she teased, knowing that she could probably find some overalls that she wouldn't mind wearing, they were coming back in trend and a bit more fashionable in some outfits, add in little to nothing underneath she could at least make his birthday a happy time afterwards. It wasn't like he was asking for much.

Nodding, she got it, she knew that he wanted to be involved, she hadn't because they had been arguing and she didn't want or need what she thought would stress her more. Still, he deserved to be apart of every bit that he wanted to be. "You can take care of me, when we get to that point, but if you promise when you take care of me to not do it like I'm some terminally ill person." she murmured, "I get it is scary and traumatic for you in a lot of ways, I really do and I get losing this baby so early is scary but I'm perfectly healthy from what they could tell, this is common. Especially we weren't trying, I was still taking my birth control when I got pregnant before I knew I was pregnant. Lots of factors play into it." Deep down she knew that, of course she wish she could have done something different, but she also realized this wasn't meant to be. That things happened for a reason that they didn't always get answers to. "I want you to be involved, Cage. I've always wanted you to be. I want you to go to the appointments, make decisions if we're going to find out the gender, pick out the nursery theme, let me drive you crazy over the baby's furniture and make you move it four times before the baby arrives." A chuckle leaving her lips, "And I wouldn't hide anything from you if I thought something was wrong -- I didn't remember I told you something wasn't right and we went to the hospital." He had listened, they had remained calm, even while distraught. A smile tugged to her lips as she leaned in, stopping in the middle of the street to kiss him, "Because you're my stubborn, stubborn man." she grinned pecking his lips again. "So is this the time where I should risk it all and say if you're willing to have one baby....?" Hey you couldn't blame a woman for trying right? "I'm just saying I think we'd do better in even numbers." A smirk on her lips, before she turned, "Think this shop would be a good place to start." Looking up at the little boutique that looked to have a bunch of different things in it. "Don't forget we have to bring presents back for everyone."

[cagenewman]

"That'll be a great viral moment for you," he teased, looking down at her with a small smirk. It didn't matter that she wasn't looking to be called a karen, but if his wife as plastered all over Facebook for throwing a fit about chocolate cake, at least it would be something to laugh about in the future. "But I know how seriously you take food, so… I'll watch myself." But she already knew that. Even the girls knew better than to try to take food off of their mother's plate when they were hungry, that was sort of just the way things went in the Newman house. Nodding thoughtfully, Cage gave her hand another squeeze as she talked about getting a date, knowing he could deliver on that. "How about when we get home and settled, I give them a call and see what they're thinking?" It was going to take a little bit of work to get ready for their arrival, and with Cordelia's exam and his upcoming jobs, he didn't want to make their lives too hectic, if they could make a plan together, find a way to stick to it and make sure everything worked out. But it would, regardless. He knew that. "I'm kind of excited," he admitted on a soft laugh, "though I think we could get some goats -- but we'll talk to Kellan about that, see how his are doing, first." His brother had more experience in the goat arena than he did, at least they would be able to get some intel from him as to what they should get. Convincing Cordelia to get a full-size anything was going to be another story. "Willie's a good sport, but he's definitely glad that Rosalyn likes to cuddle now, instead of trying to ride him around the house," he confirmed with a laugh. But the thing about overalls was no laughing matter, pouting a little bit as she bought up about exactly when his birthday fell. "I don't know, we have a pretty good track record of leaving St. Patrick's Day parties early to celebrate on our own, you know."

Nodding to what Cordelia was saying, he kept his voice steady, holding a laugh at bay, "I'm very irresistible, I get it." But jokes aside, no matter how much they loved each other, or how often they wished they could have just a few more minutes alone, Cage would never push, never ask until he was sure that she was ready, until she felt comfortable in her own skin again, until she felt like Cordelia again. "That's part of what I want to talk about it -- all of this, your health, my mental health, because I can't make myself not worry about you, and I need…" he took a breath, holding it before letting it blow back out between his lips, "I know that you're strong and capable, and I'm not saying it to say that you can't do it yourself, but I need you to let me take care of you. I need you to ask me for help when you need it, physically or emotionally, and let me help you, is that okay?" Cage knew that Cordelia could handle anything -- everything. She had Rosalyn as walking, talking, breathing, thriving proof of that, but she didn't have to do any of it alone this time. She had Cage, she always would. "Which means I want to be involved when you have to go to the doctor -- no hiding appointments because you're scared I'll be worried, or holding back if something's wrong. I'm not saying I have to go to every one -- I absolutely will when you want me to -- but I want to know, I want to be able to talk about it when I'm home from work or if you stop into the shop." Cage's entire life had flashed in front of his eyes when Cordelia had put that pregnancy test down on his desk, all of the things that he had missed out on, the stuff that he could have missed out on if he hadn't known, and he didn't want that again. As she asked for clarification for what he meant, he let out a half laugh, a little shy, "I want a baby with you. I think I realized it about halfway through our fight, that I was arguing for no reason, that I didn't know why I kept fighting it."

"You are not wrong." she said, because he wasn't, "And I'd probably told the waitress if she picked that up for you she'd regret it and I'm not looking to get the whole 'karen' vibe just because I'm attempting to defend my dessert from my husband." A smirk tugging at her lips because she took dessert, food in general, very serious. "It would be nice to know when they're going to come home, just to get everything ready, to kind of have a plan around... everything." There was a lot going on in the upcoming months between their family, Jace and Cage breaking ground on her brother's new home, bringing the animals home, Cordelia taking her exam for her licensing. It would be good to just kind of have a timeline to add it all up, and part of her was happy to know they'd be keeping busy in the next few months after everything. "We're getting quite the little farm going, once they're settled in don't get too comfortable I've already been looking at mini goats." Cordelia couldn't help but tease about the mini farm that she wanted to have and honestly if that was what it was going to be for them, raising their family on a farm filled with mostly mini animals then she could be a happy woman. "Willie does appreciate not being ridden like a pony but Rosalyn was like two and a half when she did that." It had taken some time to teach her that dogs weren't meant to do that but she had learned. Thankfully she had been little enough not to hurt the dog. "Too bad your birthday falls at the most inconvenient time to be wearing overalls so guess you're going to have to picture the whole overalls and absolutely nothing else underneath." The last few words coming out slow, almost seductively to tease the man.

Nodding, "And I know you mean that when I'm ready, and I just need to get through the you know, once I think my body feels back to normal. Plus it's not for the lack of wanting to be intimate, you know that's never the issue." A small laugh left her lips, because they never struggled in that area, but it was more her body being ready. "Think it's just best to have an idea of my health, you know? Get some general tests done, just make sure everything is good, you know. "Like you said you're always going to be scared and it's best to know just where we stand, with us getting a little bit older, and I know women can have healthy pregnancies into their 40's now, but just kind of knowing what we're looking at. When I get home I'll call the doctor and it'll just be some blood tests. I can get it drawn between going to classes." It'd be quick, simple, see if she needed any boosted vitamins. "I can start taking a pre-natal vitamin." she offered, "Cut out drinking... after tonight." A soft chuckle, it was better to prepare than not. "We are getting through it, I would have preferred to not have to go through something like this but I realize it happens to a lot of women. It's going to be one of those things that I'm still going to be up and down, but we've survived -- we're surviving." It was more than surviving, but she wouldn't say thriving at this point where she was still mentally and emotionally working on her feelings, but they were both doing better. A small smile tugged to her lips, "In a way you weren't expecting meaning?" Okay, so maybe she just wanted to hear him say it.

[cagenewman]

Letting out a snort of a laugh, Cage looked sidelong at Cordelia as she talked about pulling the dessert out of his reach. "You'd knock my fork on the floor and dismiss the waitress when she tried to ask if we needed anything else." And while he probably would eat a cake with his bare hands at home, in the kitchen, it was a little different in a restaurant where there were people watching. But it was their anniversary, they could splurge on dessert -- he was fairly certain that they could even find a place to stop on the way home where they did nothing but eat dessert, because why not? This was their weekend, they deserved to have exactly what they wanted. "I don't have an exact date yet, but I can find out. Late March, maybe early April?" It wouldn't be that long, considering how fast time was moving. And then they would be a family of six plus a mammoth jackstock plus a dog plus a cat plus chickens plus ducks plus … miniature donkeys. A real dream come true. "It'll be okay," he laughed, "they need to learn young, and donkeys are pretty hardy. Besides, they're both pretty good with Beanstalk. And no one even tries to ride Willie anymore, which he is thrilled about," as good natured as his hunting dog could be, he wasn't a pony, a lesson everyone had learned early on when combining their family into one. "Oh, come on," he laughed, squeezing her hand, "that's actually what I want for my birthday, is you in overalls. Nothing else."

"When you're ready," he stressed, pushing the button on the elevator and stepping inside, making space for her as he pressed the ground floor level. "I know the doctor said that there shouldn't be any issues with conceiving again, and everything should be okay, but I also am not against you doing whatever you need to do to feel at ease with that, as long as I can be there to support you." One of the hardest parts of Cordelia's pregnancy had been the fact that he hadn't been involved -- well, past the making her pregnant part. If there was any silver lining to take from what they had been through, it was that Cage knew that it had been handled wrong, and that they could handle it right moving forward. That they could get on the same page, and not have to hide anything from each other. Rubbing his thumb gently against the skin of her hand as she said that her thoughts hadn't changed, that she did still want a baby with him, he offered her a quick, understanding smile and ducked outside, shrugging more into his coat at her question. "I'm always going to be scared that something bad is going to happen," he said after a moment, starting down the sidewalk in the direction of the 'hubbub' of the town, knowing they'd find more businesses that way. "But the thing is, something really, really bad happened." He frowned, trying to gather his thoughts into a cohesive stream, chewing on the corner of his lip. "And I was scared, but we got through it. We're getting through it, and the world didn't end, even if it felt like it was going to, and when everything stopped spinning, I realized how heartbroken you were -- and I'm not saying I'm agreeing to this only for you, or to placate you or make you happy, that's part of it, but… I told you a long time ago that the door wasn't closed and I think almost having a baby with you blew it open for me in a way I wasn't expecting."

"Fair, there is a good chance I would just move it out of range for you to reach and say that that wasn't my fault." Giving a casual shrug, really when it came to Cordelia and food, it was a game of russian roulette of what was going to happen. She had no doubt that at some point in the time they would be together and out and about that they'd find some really great dessert for tonight. Preferrably some kind of cake, it was the weekend of their anniversary after all, and what better time to have cake then on that particular day. "When are they due to come home again?" She knew it was soon, closer to spring if she remembered, they needed to be properly weaned and safely separated from their mother, and once that happened they'd make their debut at the Newman farm. Cordelia was, in fact, very excited about the idea of animals in mini farm starting to become a reality, and while she knew there would be other animals, knowing that this chance that she'd be able to bring miniature size of her favorites also just showed how they were willing to balance what she wanted, what he wanted and needed for the life he was picturing. "The girls are going to go nuts when they see them, trying to get them to be gentle is going to be hard they'll think they're personal sized pets, you may regret this when they try and bring them in the house one day." A laugh left her lips knowing that kids did crazy things all the time and while they had two teenagers, a junior and a sophomore, they also had two four year olds just beginning to experience life. "No overalls."

"No not right now, definitely not right now." she knew it would take time, that Cordelia would need to feel comfortable and ready, and she didn't know how or when that would happen. When he made the mention of walking and talking she nodded, pulling on her jacket and taking his hand as they exited the room. "No, I haven't, think I might be more hesitant about if I can or can't carry a baby." Cordelia admitted, because it crossed her mind more times than she wanted to tell Cage in those following days, but he probably already knew the torture she had done to herself in her own head. "I won't pretend this hasn't made me think about how much I want little versions of you running around. I love our children, I love the family we have and are creating every single day but I need this piece with you, after losing her... I just I need that." It was selfish maybe but she couldn't help it, she wanted to keep that promise to teenage Cordelia who had always wanted to have multiple babies with the man she had loved since she had met him in the sandbox. "My question is more what changed your mind? You were so...unsure and not ready, not thrilled, and now?" She asked as they exited the elevator they had taken and made their way out into the cold, but fresh, air.

[cagenewman]

Letting out a low laugh, Cage nodded his head, "maybe it's less me knowing that you don't want to share and me knowing that if we agreed to share, I might not end up with any." And Cage did like a good dessert. A slab of chocolate cake with peanut butter icing could honestly change his life, make him forget about every woe that he ever crossed paths with. Maybe he'd make that a goal for the night: no matter what it took, find a piece of cake. As she agreed with him on the animals, he felt a lopsided smile touch his lips, because even if they were joking, he was relieved that she had embraced the farmer side of him, that she entertained his ideas of having a barn full of animals, a garden that they could grow crops in, let him tool around on his old tractor, and still met him on the porch with a kiss. "Won't be too long, now. I'll have to fix up the stall, make sure we have everything we need, but it'll be exciting to have more animals." Plus, Cage had a feeling that for as excited as Cordelia was, there were two little girls at home that would be just as excited as their mama to see two tiny little donkeys that were going to be living with t hem. "Maybe we should shop for denim overalls and a straw hat for you today, on second thought…"

There was no part of Cage that was ever not going to be afraid, that didn't tense up at the very idea of something going wrong, that didn't lay awake at night, staring at the ceiling, thinking of what life would be like without her if, god forbid, something went wrong. But there was a part, a big part, of Cage that had broken when he had seen the way her eyes filled with tears when they found out that they weren't going to be having a baby. And an even bigger part of him that mourned. Where one might have thought that he would feel relief, feel grateful, he was only sad. And it solidified one thing in his mind: he was ready to take that step with her, because they had both wanted it to work out. "Not right… now," he laughed, the sound breathless as he gestured to the bed, "much as I might like the idea of tossing you onto that bed, I really don't think either one of us is ready right this second for that, but I mean… when you are, yes. I -- look, let's walk and talk," he reached to find his coat on the back of the chair, sliding both arms into it before holding his hand out for her. "You haven't changed your mind, I take it?" he started out of the door of the room, into the hall, heading for the elevators. "About a baby."

A laugh left her lips when he said he knew not to ask about sharing dessert. "I could share dessert if I needed to, I choose not to share my dessert. A woman has to have somethings to herself." Cordelia pointed out as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. Only depending on her mood she might threaten to take a fork to someone's hand if they tried to take take any dessert away from her that was technically hers. That was, of course, on the worst case scenario. "Oh now the animals is definitely a reason." she grinned, "I can't wait to get those cuties home, I need to start thinking up names, I keep saying that but hasn't happened. I want the perfect names for the two little minis." she murmured, she really was excited to bring the newest animals into the crazy life that was The Newmans. She knew that it was only a matter of time before they had their own mini farm growing and thriving but they were doing this slowly for everyone's sake, given they had experienced a lot in the last three hundred and sixty-five days. No need to overwhelm themselves with more with things they could control. For now, today, she was looking forward to going shopping, walking around and passing multiple bags to Cage and making her way around the town feeling slightly more like a human again. Maybe a bit of a princess too.

Every feeling in her body left her when he went to hand her the water, pulled back and said what he needed to say handing her the small bottle of water. Taking it she held it in her hand and looked back at Cage. "You're ready?" At first it coming out more like a question. "You're ready." The words hitting her. The words seemed simple and they were, but hearing them from Cage. "I... what do you mean you're ready? I mean I get what you're ready but... what do you mean?" To her it wasn't clicking, just over a month ago they were fighting about not being ready for children and when to add or not add to their family, just a few weeks out she had been heartbroken over saying he could admit he wasn't thrilled she was pregnant, but now he was ready? She wasn't upset, she was more confused of where this was coming from. "Are you sure? You're ready? I mean -- now? We can't exactly... now." she said as she looked at the bottle of water. "Okay. Well, if you're ready then I think... we don't need these right now." she said as she placed the medicine back in the bag and dropped the opened pill into the trash can.

[cagenewman]

Feeling a small smirk tug at the corner of his lips as Cordelia agreed to play it by ear, he let his head fall to a slight tilt, shrugging one shoulder, "I just know that whether we eat in some quaint little restaurant or downstairs here, it's probably going to involve a big dessert. And no, I won't ask if we can share," he laughed. Cage knew better. There were a lot of lessons that he had learned through the year of marriage, and the years before it when they had been slowly working on their relationship… not to mention everything he had learned about her when they were both still kids. But Cordelia not wanting to share desserts was probably the biggest, most important lesson of all. "Well," he laughed, leaning in to steal a quick kiss, "my credit card and my love of animals -- just so you can get your hands on those mini donkeys." Soon enough, they would be coming home, too, settling into their barn in a stall next to Beanstalk, happy to start their lives as Newmans. But… he knew his wife. And he was glad that he could tease her without taking it personally, or thinking that he was at all serious. She knew that he would empty every account for her, and he knew that she would never ask or expect it of him. Even if she did have ideas for a whole new outfit, shooting a look her way that said 'no' while his heart said that it was probably going to happen, regardless. And if not that, then something shiny. She deserved it.

His eyes moved from his hands as they fiddled with the cuff of his shirt to her hands as they pushed a pill through the foil, opening his mouth and closing it, letting out a small, nervous laugh as she started to talk about what the doctor said, knowing that he had heard it, too. Cage had bee hanging on to their every word, wanting to make sure that he could do whatever he could to help her out, make things easier on both of them. "No, I know, and I appreciate you wanting to be careful," because Cordelia being on the pill had made their lives a lot easier since they had started dating -- and long before, when they had only been hooking up on the fly. There had been many a late night at his cabin, not wanting to waste a moment digging out protection, or in the backseat of someone's car without anything in his pocket, and they had just fallen into that habit in their married life, too. Lifting a hand to scratch at the back of his neck, he blew out a breath and glanced over at the bottle of water on the dresser, laid out with other niceties provided to them by the hotel staff. Stepping around to her side of the bed, he held it out, but pulled it back before she could grasp it, meeting her gaze. "I'm not being chivalrous or saying to give yourself a break, I know what the doctor said, and I know what you're saying, about being prepared for when we're ready to be intimate again, but I'm not … talking about that." This time, he held out the bottle again, with a small smile. "I'm ready, Cor."

While he might have complained about getting up, she knew that this was practically sleeping in for the man. He was normally up much earlier to tend to the farm animals they had at home, take care of the kids in the morning knowing that Cordelia was not a morning person in the slightest. Even when she tried every now and again to treat him he typically was the one she always found up bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Playing it by ear sounds best." she admitted, because you never knew what you were going to stumble across, especially in a new town, in a new country -- for Cordelia -- that she had never been to. As long as she was getting to spend time with him for their anniversary that was all that really mattered to the blonde, it didn't matter to her what they did. Sure, she would have preferred it been under slightly happier circumstances prior, but life dishes you different curveballs, and what she was learning was they could weather those storms. That they had a foundation that was built on trust that even when they argued and fought, took time where they weren't speaking, there weren't cracks in it. They were strong, they were steady, they would weather whatever storms were coming their way because they had put in the time and effort. "Mm you caught onto my plans, I married you for the shopping sprees you can take me on and wield your credit card." Giving a roll of her eyes but he knew that she was probably more cautious with money than she needed to be -- at least when it came to herself, she rarely tried to go overboard.

"Are you trying to give me ideas because you know I'll do it even if I already have a proper outfit on. Nothing says perfect like getting a whole new outfit for the trip home." Cordelia pointed out, and she was sure you could find some comfortable but cozy clothes to wear home around the town they were going to explore. Truth was she was hoping to find some small shops to look at leather goods, maybe some vintage jewelry that maybe they wouldn't know the story but held a story in it. Just as they were getting ready to go she realized she hadn't taken her birth control, and when she had found out about the loss she had started taking it again. It wasn't that they were currently being active and had to worry, but it was easier for her to get back into a routine. Just as she pushed one of the pills through the metal foil she heard Cage talk saying that she didn't need to take it if she wanted to stop, furrowing her brows. Furrowing her brows she glanced over her shoulder and looked at him, "The doctor said it was perfectly safe to start taking again, figure it's better to get it back in my system after stopping it. Figure for when we're ready better to be prepared than not, right?" she asked, "And as we already know it's not 100% effective so skipping doses already probably won't help anything." Giving a small smile not really getting what he was saying about if she didn't want to take it anymore. "Can you grab me that water."

[cagenewman]

Cage was not the kind of person to sleep in, period. Whether it was a week day or a weekend, he was normally the first one up and moving, starting the coffee, getting the paper, checking on the animals, making breakfast before the kids and Cordelia made their way downstairs, sleepily rubbing their eyes and murmuring thanks as he handed them plates when they passed through. It was nice, sometimes, to be the lay one in the morning. To let Cordelia handle the coffee that he picked up after getting out of bed, that he nearly downed in three swallows. "Let's play it by ear," he replied with a smile, nodding his head. Whether they wanted to come back to the hotel to eat, get something in a restaurant they stumbled upon, he wasn't picky. Honestly, this trip was for Cordelia more than himself: Cage could have celebrated their anniversary at home, drinking a glass of wine and sharing take-out pizza, but he knew what this could be for her. A chance to decompartmentalize, to focus on something other than… well, everything that had transpired over the past few weeks. "Yeah," he replied as he pulled himself from his thoughts to offer her a small smirk, "which is why you married a Newman who can take you on shopping trips for your anniversary," but it was tongue in cheek, because he knew that if they were living in a two bedroom cottage in the woods, if they never went out to eat, if they had the bare necessities and nothing more, she would love him just the same. They would still be celebrating a year together. Nothing, not a single force on the earth, would change the way they felt about each other.

"You wouldn't, anyway," he laughed, shaking his head, "we'd just have to buy you a new outfit as we went," which actually would have been a good way to go about it if she was really looking to get some shopping done, but he wasn't going to put that idea in her head. Pulling his jeans on, he fastened the button and pulled up the fly, buttoning up the plaid shirt he had chosen before pulling his sweater on over top, heading into the bathroom after her, and standing in front of the bathroom, pulling the collar free of the sweater and running water over his hands, using it to tame down his errant locks. It only took him a few minutes to finish his routine, applying deodorant, spritzing a bit of after shave, he was halfway through brushing his teeth when Cordelia pressed a kiss to his cheek, feeling a smile touch his lips as he followed her with his eyes, through the bathroom door, watching as she finished her routine in the main space. A few moments later, he was following her out, reaching for his own night stand to find his wallet and keys -- back pocket, like always -- and his watch, slipping it into place before adjusting the clasp on the cross around his neck. As Cordelia reached into her small medicine bag, pulling out a familiar container, he felt his heart thud in his chest, having tried to work up the courage to talk to her about it for a week now, knowing that he had made up his mind right then and there in the doctor's office, even though it hadn't been the right time to say it. And maybe this wasn't, either, but he needed to say it. Wetting his lips, he took a small breath, "you don't have to take those. If you want to stop, I mean."

There was one thing she could say without a doubt, Cage knew Cordelia as well as he knew himself. If she had been left her her own she would have laid in bed rotting until eventually pulling herself out and putting herself back together. Only she was still learning she didn't need to do it by herself, and Cage knew time away after everything was a way for them to connect emotionally and just personally. Being parents to four kids took a lot of time where they just didn't have time for just the two of them -- and she didn't mean sexually either. It was her pride and joy being a mother, taking care of of the four kids back home that needed her, but right now she needed this trip like she needed air to breathe. "We can sleep in another day, I promise, you know I love my sleep, or we can turn in early after shopping." Of course, not until after a good long day of exploring and shopping, but turning in early after a good dinner, curling up, putting on a movie or playing some music. Just curling up with each other would be a nice way to end the evening. "One of few days babe, we've got the long weekend, a late checkout before we leave you'll get to rest I promise, plus it's not like we haven't been living in the lap of luxury since we got here." She pointed out. "You're right, I'm a Newman, but some of the Browning blood still lingers, you know like loving the finer things of life and trying to pretend that I don't." It wasn't like he forced her to not like the fancier things of life, he understood she had been raised to enjoy expensive jewelry, handbags, shoes, despite not realizing it had all been a facade for something they couldn't afford other than the image it brought them. It had been their up bringing but when she had become a mother on her own, that way of life was something she couldn't ever begin to dream to afford. But Cage had slowly been the one spoiling her with beautiful pieces of jewelry that would become heirlooms for their children and teaching her to enjoy those parts of herself again. "A Newman for a whole year, teenage us would be so proud of how far we've come."

"Don't worry I promise to dress warm, I don't want to cut anything short." she said, and she didn't. Grabbing a pair of jeans, a fitted tank top and then a long sleeve slouchy sweater to pull over it she headed towards the bathroom. "I believe so, I don't take up a lot of room." she teased as she headed in, having showered the previous night she wasn't worried about that so she slowly tossed her pajamas off and pulled on her clothes with ease before pulling a brush through her blonde hair. Grabbing her curling iron she quickly curled the soft blond locks into her normal style and ruffled it slightly to give it some texture before she found herself pecking Cage quickly on the cheek and heading out of the bathroom. Pulling on some socks she slipped on a pair of sleek ankle booties that would be comfortable to walk around in while also keeping her feet warm. Once she was ready to go, she grabbed her bag, and coat, pulling it over her crossbody and turning to check for her husband.

[cagenewman]

Canada had been a good choice. Although Cordelia hadn't wanted to know exactly where they were going, he was fairly confident that as soon as he had mentioned the passport and driving, she would have figured it out -- but not exactly where in Canada, or what it would be like. He had done a lot of reading up on little towns, beautiful history, trying to decide exactly where the best place to stay would be… and this had been the best choice that he could have made. Until he was being forced to wake up early and get out of bed, and it wasn't like Cage to be the one that wanted to sleep in. "I was thinking that since we were on a little vaca, we could have slept in a little bit," he groused, but there was a good natured, sleepy smile on his face as he stretched out his arm to lay across the empty space that was left when she began to pick herself up from the bed. "This is the one day that I don't have to get out of bed and feed Beanstalk and gather eggs and get the kids around for school, you know, and besides. You were a Browning. You're a Newman now, for a whole year." That thought dropped a chill along his spine and filled his heart with pride as he watched her move through the room.

And then she was leaning over the edge of the bed to kiss him, and he couldn't help but to let out a low laugh, snaking one hand up to curl into blonde hair, pulling her in a little more to return the kiss more fully, opening his mouth to her in a slow, languid motion, only pulling away when he knew that she wasn't wrong -- she would roll him out of that bed if he didn't get up and get moving. "Yeah, yeah," he murmured, letting her go and pulling himself up into a sitting position, stretching both arms up, over his head, lengthening his spine, and then putting his own feet over the edge of the bed and onto the floor, pushing himself up into a standing position. "Whatever you do, dress warm, it's going to be pretty cold today," he reached for his phone, checking for messages, knowing that it was far too early for any of the kids to be up and checking in, and it was the weekend, nothing to report at work. Heading for the suitcase, he began rifling through his clothes, tossing jeans and a navy sweater onto the edge of the bed, looking for a shirt to wear under, "bathroom's big enough for us both to get ready, right?"

For the last several days Cordelia had barely gotten out of bed, between the mix of mourning the loss of viability, her body going through the natural processes, and just the general feelings, she had all but become a fixture in her bed along side her weighted heating pad. The kids had been wonderful, she knew Cage had explained very little but enough to know that she needed rest, to be gentle, and just give her some space and the kids had done that though they had spent some good hours just laying in their room watching movies a few times. Really they couldn't ask for better kids. So when Cage had said that they were going away for their anniversary she was a little embarrassed to admit at first that she had forgotten that it was coming up. Consumed by her mental anguish she hadn't noticed the dates passing by, and the fact that they had reached their real first wedding anniversary. Sure, they had married in front of everyone in October, but they had been married since February of last year, this was the wedding that she would always count as the one that truly made them husband and wife, that made them a family. Finding themselves on the road once Cage's cousin had all four kids, despite protests that the boys could easily take care of all of them, and Cordelia absolute promise that they were not watching the girls alone for a long weekend quite yet. Time would come, she knew that, they trusted them but after so much loss in the last less than six months she couldn't and wouldn't relax. Now they found themselves cross the border in Canada and she had to admit this was quite the surprise, she had never been here before and she was looking forward to exploring the small town they had ended up in.

There had been promises of a day of shopping, so long as most of the trip she took it easy, she still needed to keep her body relaxed, and she knew that. But shopping wouldn't hurt anything, and when he made that promise, especially one of exploring all the local little shops and doing a full day of shopping with meals included? Cordelia was not going to pass that up. When her phone sent off the little chimes she shifted at first before sighing softly, the beds were actual bliss, and she debated asking if they could find out the brand to bring one back with them. Finally her body twisted and feet planted on the floor, getting up and tying the red robe Cage had gotten her around her pajamas before padding across the floor and turning on the coffee. "Did you think I wouldn't?" Turning to face him as she let the cup fill with the hot liquid, "The fact you weren't expecting it shows your slipping, I may be a Newman now, but I'm still a Browning at heart, my love." she cooed a grin on her lips, "And I love shopping." It wasn't something she indulged in often, she hadn't for herself in years, probably not since she was a teenager did she really do full shopping trips because money had become so tight as an adult, and then even with Cage it had become about household and life expenses. Walking over she leaned over the bed pressing her lips to his in a kiss, "Now get up before I have to roll you out of bed, you're cutting into shopping time."