#Because I was constantly fidgeting and in Period 2 I was messing around with my hoodie & constantly putting my head down

[toastingpencils37]

Bruh, the ninja's aim with the cannon is fucking ass.

Every damn time.

Lowkey also going to vent in the tags for a minute

[iwoszareba]

If you're taking these asks for Avinsin:

23. How does your Tav act in situations of stress? In moments of peace?

29. What fears keep them up at night?

30. What does your Tav want more than anything?

23. How does your Tav act in situations of stress? In moments of peace?

They are funny in that regard because they seem way more nervous in mostly peaceful moments than in stressful ones.

In a normal setting they tend to fidget, rub their arms and look around constantly, but when there is actually something they can direct that nervous energy towards then they have that focused tension of a cat about to pounce. And they do have genuinely peaceful moments too, especially further into the story when being surrounded by people they now trust makes them feel safer (late act 2/act 3), it feels like taking a big breath and slowly releasing it. So they actually seem at ease.

29. What fears keep them up at night?

Outside of the normal tadpole and ‘we got ourselves into a real mess’ stresses of bg3… The fact they are still infected with the whole eldritch god essence is a big one. They know how to keep it in check for the most part but the fear of losing themselves again never truly goes away. Also they are mostly certain that Ghaunadaur is unaware of their existence... but what if that’s not true? What if it has been observing them without making itself known, what if one day that situation changes? It’s an unpleasant possibility to consider. They are also afraid of Lolth and her servants but less so when they are travelling on the surface. Tho initially (act 1) being on the surface was a source of fear for them, they were worried people will turn on them eventually because they are a drow, they felt out of their depth both when it comes to interacting with people as well as the environment. Also shout out to that period of time they were genuinely afraid they are going to lose Astarion to his questline (trying to phrase this non-spoilery).

30. What does your Tav want more than anything?

Oh man, they’ve spent a lot of time trying to purge themselves of wants because ambition was the downfall of their past self and then living on their own in the Underdark anything more than survival was already a luxury.  They eventually realise that actually they don’t want to be alone, that companionship is something they are allowed to want, something they can have. Sorry for quoting my own fic but: “I’ve been on the move and on my own ever since. [...] I took pride in it. Made an identity out of it. To be no one bound by nothing.” They want to be someone!! They want to connect!!

[justpottytime]

OK, I'm finally gonna do it! I'm using @omowritingprompts omo questionnaire - I'm sorry I can't link the actual post, I don't know how on mobile, but you'll find it on their blog! I'm answering the questions for my OC Kyder - she's a D&D high elf, and a guard captain working in a castle, so her time period is very much 'medieval but with magic', and a few things have been handwaved for convenience!

TW for several mentions of trauma and abuse!

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general / casual (regular everyday peeing behavior lol)

1. What’s their preferred place to pee? (bathroom, outside, container…etc.)

Wherever it would generally be considered 'socially acceptable', so most of the time for her, that would be a toilet or a chamber pot.

2. Do they prefer to pee standing up or sitting / squatting? At home or in public?

Sitting if possible, but if she has to do it outside, she hates the vulnerability of having to squat down - though as she's AFAB, she always assumed she had to. Her friend is currently trying to teach her how to pee standing up while they're outside, and while she's not very good at it yet, she definitely prefers it.

3. Can they aim well (or at all)? Which hand do they use? Both? None? 

She hasn't gotten that far yet in learning to go while standing up, so she usually ends up with a bit of a mess down her legs, which she definitely doesn't like. It's a work in progress!

4. Are they vocal or quiet? Do they get chatty if there are people around?

She's VERY quiet apart from the occasional sigh if she was holding a lot. If there are other people around then depending on who they are, forget chatty, she's not likely to be able to pee at all!

5. Do they have any unusual bathroom habits? (whistling, leaning against the wall, pants all the way down when standing, looking at memes on their phone, etc.)

She can get pee-shy when she's feeling anxious over something, and when that happens, she often needs to stim to make herself relax. She mostly does this by fidgeting with the hem of her clothes, either rubbing the material between her thumb and finger, or gently twisting and pulling at it. The repetitive motion of her hands gives her brain something else to focus on, and it will often prompt her muscles to relax because she isn't thinking about what she's trying to do anymore.

6. Do they take their time or do they try to get done as quickly as possible?

She always tries to be as quick as possible, especially while she's working, because she doesn't want anyone to come looking for her and find out where she was.

7. Are they pee-shy? Do they get embarrassed? If yes, in what situation and by what? (the sight? the noise? people knowing they have bodily functions?) In front of whom?

As mentioned above, she's definitely pee-shy, caused by traumatic memories from her childhood (I'll give more detail later in the questionnaire) and it's now very tightly tied to her anxiety. She HATES people knowing she has bodily functions and will constantly try to hide it, to the point that the people she's closest with often have to work with her on getting her to tell them when she needs to go, to prevent accidents or waiting longer than necessary. If she has to pee with someone else around, she can only do it if it's someone she feels safe with, and she still often gets embarrassed by the noise. Her partner often counteracted this by mumbling a lot of praise and sweet nothings whenever he had to help her, which both covered the sound and soothed a lot of her anxiety.

8. Do they prefer to go in groups or do they want to be alone / need privacy.

Around people she doesn't know or trust, she'd much rather be completely alone. Around someone that she trusts and feels safe with, she might actively ask them to stay with her and help, depending on how bad her anxiety is or what position she's in - she still needs help to balance if she's trying to pee standing up.

9. If they use the men’s room, stall or urinal? Do they stick to the unwritten bathroom etiquette? (no talking, no looking over, leaving a urinal gap, etc.)

Not applicable, she's cis AFAB and the bathrooms aren't separated by gender during this time period anyway. She only pees standing up when she's doing it outside.

10. Do they refuse to use certain bathrooms? (too dirty, too crowded, wrong type of toilets?)

She'll sometimes try to hold it if there are too many people around/near the bathroom and she doesn't think she'll be able to make herself relax. She tries not to appear bothered if the toilet is too dirty out of a fear of seeming stuck-up, but it bothers her more than she'll admit.

11. Have they ever peed in the pool (except as a baby)? On purpose or not?

No, though she doesn't get much chance to go swimming considering where she is, but she would never do it on purpose and do her best to avoid an accident.

12. Do they pee in the shower / bath and would they admit it if someone asked?

Again, she would try very hard not to do that, mostly just because she knows you're not 'supposed' to go there. If she somehow did end up peeing in the bath/shower and someone asked her about it though, she would deny it completely - not that she's a very good liar...

13. Have they ever locked someone out of a bathroom / kept them from going?

Not intentionally, but there's certainly been times where she was struggling to relax enough to let go, and it kept someone waiting uncomfortably.

14. Have they ever peed in the opposite gender bathroom? (if applicable) 

Again, bathrooms usually aren't separated by gender during this time period, most of the time it's just a single room. If they were though, she would utterly refuse to use the opposite gender's bathroom, and the suggestion would probably make her pretty anxious. The main reason for this is due to her being autistic, which obviously can't be diagnosed in her time period, and she was frequently scolded throughout her life for being unaware of unspoken social rules and inevitably breaking them by accident. As such, the idea of breaking the few social rules she DOES know would terrify her, as she still expects punishment for it.

15. Are they okay with or used to peeing outside? Do they do it often?

She doesn't exactly like it, but it's a necessity with her work. She usually needs a bit of help though, either with reassurance or to balance if she's trying to pee standing up. If she has to do it on her own, particularly around others, she'll often get rather upset.

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desperation / wetting (yk, the actual omo stuff)

16. How do they say “I have to pee”? Are they blunt? Do they use weird euphemisms? Do they get offended if someone uses certain terms around them?

She HATES having to say it, and will usually avoid it at all costs. It's normally easier to have someone just ask if she has to go, as embarrassing as that always is, but obviously she can't always rely on that. If she's with someone she trusts, she'll often have some kind of code word or phrase that they'll know means it's time to find a bathroom if possible, but no-one else will know the meaning of. It makes her feel slightly safer, just about enough to get the words out.

17. What are some “tells” that they have to go? Who can tell first if they don’t speak up?

She tends to fidget and squirm and look rather nervous, and she'll often seem distracted. Usually only her partner or closest friends know what her squirming looks like, and can often tell before it becomes obvious pee-squirming (if only because they've learned to pay attention and look for it).

18. If someone asks if they have to go and they do, do they admit or deny it? Do they play it down as much as they can or do they exaggerate on purpose?

If it's someone she's comfortable around and willing to accept help from, she'll usually admit it and try to be honest about how bad it is, if only to avoid an accident. The exception to this is if she knows she won't be able to go anytime soon, in which case she might deny it so as not to stress out whoever asked - she feels guilty enough about needing help like this, she doesn't want to make them panic if there's nothing that either of them can do about it.

19. How do they act when they’re desperate? Do they get angry? Do they squirm a lot or do they freeze up? Do they get quieter or do they talk more than usual?

As mentioned above, she gets squirmy, quiet and distracted, and it often makes her nervousness worse.

20. How do they act when someone else is desperate in their vicinity? Do they try to help them? Are they successful or do they accidentally make it worse?

Surprisingly, she's better at dealing with this with other people than with herself. She'll do her best to help and keep them both calm, and try to find them somewhere to go. While she won't suggest anything that might be 'inappropriate' to go in, she also won't stop the desperate person if they suggest it - unless there will be immediate negative consequences, like someone scolding them or the sound giving away where they are.

21. How do they like to be treated when they have to go? Do they want comfort / encouragement / coddling? Are they okay with light-hearted teasing or jokes?

Either ignore it if there's no chance of relief anytime soon, or occasional gentle encouragement if she just needs to hold it a bit longer - don't bring it up too much or she'll get embarrassed. Although, if the situation starts to get a bit dire, it might also be a good idea to quietly remind her that it won't be a disaster if she doesn't quite make it, and that she won't be in trouble...

22. The same as the three questions above but with accidents (bedwetting too).

1. How do they act when they have an accident/wet the bed? Do they get angry? Do they squirm a lot or do they freeze up? Do they get quieter or do they talk more than usual?

Accidents are SERIOUSLY bad for her because of her trauma, to the point that in extreme cases, they can cause dissociation and flashbacks to several VERY bad memories of her childhood. She'll usually freeze up and often start silently crying without noticing. If no-one intervenes, her fight-or-flight instincts will usually kick into overdrive and she'll try to hide until she can bring herself back to the present. Bedwetting is somewhat less severe, but she still ends up feeling pretty embarrassed and ashamed, especially if it happened around someone else.

2. How do they act when someone else has an accident/wets the bed in their vicinity? Do they try to help them? Are they successful or do they accidentally make it worse?

Again, she actually finds it easier when it's someone else going through this instead of her. She has a tendency to mother people slightly, so she'll usually try her best to console them and find them clean clothes, or at least something to cover the wet patch, and she'll want to take charge of cleaning up if she can. How much this helps depends on how much fussing the person in question can take - if they just want to be left alone, this may be more irritating than anything else!

3. How do they like to be treated when they have an accident/wake up wet? Do they want comfort / encouragement / coddling? Are they okay with light-hearted teasing or jokes?

As mentioned above, accidents can cause a pretty severe negative reaction, so anyone with her will definitely need to help. If it happened in public, best to get her away from everyone as quick as possible, and try to bring her back to the present if she's stuck in her own head - you can usually tell if she flinches away from being touched. Once she's 'back', she'll still be pretty upset, but not quite as terrified. She'll never admit it aloud, but she usually wants a lot of comfort and reassurance, and won't fight it if someone wants to help her get cleaned up or fusses over her a little. Physical affection is something she particularly craves, and while she often can't get the words out, she may cuddle into the person helping her's side or hold her arms out for a hug, if she's relatively certain she won't be pushed away. Bedwetting isn't quite as bad, though naturally she'll still be very upset and embarrassed - usually she just wants a little reassurance that it can happen to anyone, and maybe a hand changing the bedsheets.

23. Do they get upset or embarrassed over an accident or do they shrug it off? 

As mentioned above, very VERY upset and embarrassed. It'll probably leave her shaken for a good few hours, if not the rest of the day.

24. What���s the last time they had a genuine full-on accident? How old were they?

She was in her 400s, it happened fairly recently - she was with a friend and they attended a fancy event together, as said friend needed to keep an eye out for trouble. She drank a lot of tea and was too scared to tell him that she had to go for fear of interrupting his work, and ended up having an accident at the worst moment...

25. Have they ever wet themself deliberately? Would they consider doing it?

It's always been an accident so far, and it will almost certainly stay that way. It would take a pretty extreme circumstance for her to even consider wetting deliberately - like, she'd have to be in significant pain and with absolutely no hope of relieving herself anytime soon, and it would take a LOT of coaxing and reassurance from someone she trusts.

26. Do they tend to wait too long or do they go when they feel the urge for the first time?

She almost always waits too long because she's too embarrassed to let anyone find out she has to go. This leads to her either being reluctant to tell whoever she's with that she needs a potty break, or she'll hold it for much too long while she's working so that no-one sees her slipping away to the bathroom.

27. Do they have a weak / small or strong / big bladder?

She has a pretty big bladder after so many years of holding, though it's not the strongest for that same reason - never letting the muscles rest will eventually weaken them...

28. What helps them cope when they have to go but can’t? What makes it worse?

Distractions help a lot - if she has something interesting enough to focus on, she can almost forget her need completely. Conversely, being reminded of peeing will make it a lot worse, especially people talking or joking about it.

29. Is there any type of drink (or food) that goes right through them?

Just standard diuretics, the same way they would go through anyone.

30. Do they wake up to pee at night or do they sleep through? Do they ever wake up desperate or in the middle of an accident? Do they have pee dreams?

Kyder is a D&D elf, and the lore books say elves actually don't sleep, they 'trance' for 4 hours a night, which is like a state of semi-conscious meditation, so this doesn't really apply here... She does wake up desperate most mornings though, and will try to relieve herself first thing after getting out of bed.

31. Do they ever pee in odd places / in public? What’s the weirdest place they’ve ever peed in? Were they drunk / on meds, sleepwalking, super desperate, etc.?

She tries not to, but it's certainly come to that a few times - not really in public though, thankfully. But she has ducked into one of the guest rooms around the castle she works in to use the chamber pot if she was too embarrassed or nervous to use one of the bathrooms, which she would consider weird. The weirdest place by far though was when she and a friend were out and had to use a public bathroom that was literally just two toilets side by side, no privacy... And they were both too desperate to wait for the other to go first. She managed to use it though, and her friend said he was proud of her so she considers it a win!

32. What’s the most desperate they’ve ever gotten past childhood and did they make it?

Oh goodness... So many scenarios for this! But probably the time she put it off a little too long during work one day and ended up having an accident in front of one of the other guards... It could have ended in disaster, but she was VERY lucky that it happened to be in front of the only guard she's actually close with, and he managed to calm her down, though he ended up finding out about her past from it...

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medical / childhood stuff (feel free to skip this ofc)

33. At what age were they potty trained? Were they ever potty-trained? (lol, I hope)

I've never been entirely certain, but I'll say she was a little younger than 2 when the whole potty training process started - though she was absolutely not ready to be potty trained at the time and probably would have benefitted from slightly longer in diapers until she had a better grasp on her body, but her parents wanted her trained as soon as possible... The end result was that, although her potty training started when she was a little younger than 2, she couldn't actually reliably make it to the potty until she was about 3. It was... A long year for all involved...

34. Same question as above but with bedwetting. When did they stop? Do they have one-off accidents in specific situations? (alcohol, nightmares, deep sleep?)

Seeing as elves trance instead of sleep, this made bedwetting much more shameful, especially since it was a common occurrence for her as a child. Thankfully she learned how to change her own bedsheets at a very young age, and since they had maids to do all the washing, her parents were none the wiser when she was too tired to wake up at night and go to the bathroom. Thankfully she outgrew it once her bladder got a little bigger, and these days bedwetting is pretty uncommon - though not impossible. It's been known to happen if she repeatedly pushes her bladder to its limits during the day before, or if something particularly upsetting happened and the memory comes back to haunt her at night.

35. Were they accident-prone as a kid? Are they still like that or did it get better with age?

She was extremely accident-prone as a child, mostly because her parents often wouldn't let her go when she needed to, and she could never hold it for the unreasonable lengths of time that they expected. She's less accident-prone now, but only because she goes to extreme lengths to avoid them, even barely drinking anything throughout the day sometimes. It's a habit she's trying her best to break, as it often makes her sick...

36. Do they wear protection or did they wear it in the past? (past baby/toddler-age)

That's... A question that depends heavily on the AU and who I'm RPing her with. In her current world, it's a solid "no and never going to happen", but there have been a few AUs where she has, though I won't go into details here since I don't want to tag this.

37. Do they have any medical issues that make them have to pee more / have frequent accidents? If yes, how do they deal with them? Do they take meds?

Not really, though as mentioned above, her bladder isn't the strongest from too much holding over the years. This also leaves her more vulnerable to UTIs than most, but she has some basic healing magic that can clear them up before they cause too much trouble - though she'll sometimes suffer through them for a day if she's afraid of 'wasting' her magic on herself when she might need it for something else, in which case she'll wait to heal herself until night time when she can recharge her magic straight after using it.

38. Does anyone know about said issues? Do they talk about them openly or not? (out of embarrassment? fear of bad reactions? because no one ever asks?)

She almost never talks about this issue due to the obvious shame, and her partner is the only one who knows, because he's seen her healing herself from UTIs so often.

39. Do they have some trauma related to omo (being mocked / scolded / yelled at for an accident, bullying, weird / scary encounters in public bathrooms, etc.)

Ah, here we go - the epicentre of where this all started. As mentioned above, she was potty trained before she was fully ready and often wasn't allowed to go when she had to - this was mostly because her parents are rich nobles and completely obsessed with their own image. They never really wanted a child, they wanted a miniature adult that they could dress up and parade around and brag about. As you can imagine, this led to a lot of verbal and emotional abuse when she was obviously incapable of being what they wanted, and a fair amount of neglect too since they didn't want to actually take care of her, and she was mostly left for the maids to deal with unless they wanted to show her off to someone... And being shown off was the worst part. They would always drag her to fancy balls and events, and expect her to stand there quietly and only speak when spoken to, never move or ask for anything or need anything. This would have been an impossible ask for any small child, but a neurodivergent child who was sensitive to the sound of lots of overlapping chatter, AND already developing anxiety and a severe distrust of people? Forget it. Each time she got upset or 'acted out', the rules would become more and more strict, and she would be punished more and more severely until eventually she managed to stay completely silent and still... But this left another problem. She still didn't have the strongest control over her bladder, and a lot of the fancy parties they were attending could last almost all day. She would of course be scolded and silenced as soon as she tried to tell her mother or father that she had to go, they would insist it was impolite to say it aloud, especially around others. Squirming or fidgeting in place also resulted in anger and scolding, because apparently that was rude too. It would never take long before she had an accident, which would usually draw the attention of everyone else... Though the stuck-up nobles that her parents were friends with never spared her any sympathy when this happened. It almost always ended with her being physically punished in front of everyone - her father carried a cane and wasn't afraid to use it. There was nothing she could do to escape this fate for most of her childhood, until she eventually became capable of holding it until they went back home, but that took a long time and required her to dehydrate herself for most of the day. It took years for her to work through even some of the trauma and get past her fear of fancy events and balls, they only cause moderate anxiety these days... But as mentioned above, accidents can still send her back there in an instant.

40. Did they ever have an accident or extremely close call while sick?

She doesn't get sick very often, but when she does, it hits HARD. That probably makes close calls a common occurrence when she feels too sick to get out of bed, unless someone's there to lift her onto the chamber pot every few hours.

[artificialqueens]

Sweets and Tea, Chapter 2// Trixya //Lin

AN: Hi guys! Lin again! Here's part 2 of Sweets and Tea! I hope y'all enjoy this chapter, and I'll hopefully have an update soon!

Trigger Warnings: None for this chapter.

“Hm?” Trixie asked her, pulling her sleeves from her hoodie down over her hands. “W-what did you,” Trixie looked around to make sure her father was around, “fuck up?” She lowered her tone as she swore.

“You didn’t message me back last night, so I assumed I had said something wrong. You read my message, and then you never replied. Was it because I changed the tone of the conversation?”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I must’ve fallen asleep as I was responding or something.” It was a lame excuse, but she couldn’t tell her what actually happened.

“Oh, well, I’m glad I didn’t screw it up. Well, at least I haven’t screwed it up yet.” Katya said with a smirk. “Maybe you can reply to me sometime tonight?” She bravely asked Trixie.

Trixie felt her cheeks heat up and suspected they turned red. “Y-yeah. I have some homework to do after dance, but I should be able to reply when I finish.” Trixie fidgeted with her fingers as she looked back up at Katya. For some reason, she couldn’t help but wonder why Katya was trying to talk to her. Trixie didn’t think she was really Katya’s type, and she was straight-- at least that is what Trixie liked everyone to believe.

“You and your dedication to school,” Katya laughed. “I can wait, just text me whenever you have the time to talk. I never sleep before two a.m., so I’ll be awake. I’ll be waiting for your message Trixie.” Katya winked before turning and leaving her be.

Trixie watched as she walked out. She couldn’t help but think about messaging Katya later that night. She wanted to pull out her phone and message her right then, but she didn’t. She went about the rest of her duties: cleaning the bakery, storing the unbought pastries in the fridge, sweeping and mopping the floors, and wiping down the tables.

***

9:17pm: Hey, Katya. :) I tried not to make you wait too long, but school comes before play.

9:23pm: hi, of course youd say that. How was dance??

9:25pm: Awful! Absolutely a w f u l. We had conditioning today, and I can already tell I’m going to be sore in the morning. Anyway, how was your evening? I hope it was well.

9:27pm: barbie,, you text so proper, but i’m sorry to hear that. My night has been okay… my mom is still working but i spent time at alaska’s.

9:29pm: My dad told me that I shouldn’t use slang or improper language. He said I’d become too accustomed to it and it would cause me to use it in my day to day life. I suppose it’s just a habit now.

9:30pm: and do you listen to everything your dad tells you?

9:31pm: Yes, abide by thy father and thy mother.

9:33pm: omfg barbie, that’s from the bible!!!!

9:34pm: It is. I guess it’s the brainwashing clouding my mind.

9:35pm: is that a stab at when i voiced my opinion that religion is a form of brainwashing in chem last year?

9:36pm: It was… maybe you’re right though. Maybe it is a form of manipulation in a way. A way to get people to act the way they want them to act… do things that aren't Christian like but use the Bible to make the person feel as though they have to obey.

9:38pm: do you think you’re being manipulated

9;40pm: Oh, no. No, I don’t believe I am. I’m just saying maybe other people feel that way.

9:42pm: you sure? Im here to listen if you need it. Always

9:43pm: Why?

9:43pm: why what?

9:44pm: Why are you all of a sudden taking an interest in me?

9:45pm: because we’re friends

9:46pm: But we never texted before. I don’t want to sound rude, but I just don’t understand the want for interaction with me. When we were lab partners, you didn’t seem interested in developing a friendship with me throughout the year.

9:50pm: i dont know why. I spent a few minutes trying to figure it out, but idk… when i saw you again, I felt the need to reconnect… maybe on a more personal note? If you don’t want to have a friendship, I understand

9:52pm: I wouldn’t mind a new friend. You should text me at 802-###-####. I think it would be much easier than Instagram DM. Also, I’m going to turn my phone off now. I got in trouble last night for being on it after 10pm. Crazy how I’m 16 with a phone curfew, huh? Goodnight, Katya. :)

9:53pm: yes, it is very weird that you still have a phone curfew. I will text you in the morning and goodnight.

***

Trixie had been waiting on Katya’s message all morning. She was constantly checking her phone, causing her to get sadder and sadder every time she didn’t see a text from an unknown number.

“Beatrice, hurry up! I have a meeting for the bakery in an hour, so I need to drop you off at school early.” Her dad called from downstairs.

“I-I can walk.” She yelled. Trixie would rather walk than sit in the car with her dad. She used to love spending time with her dad, especially their car rides, but ever since her mom had passed away the car rides weren’t the same. Nothing was ever the same.

“Don’t wanna ride with me anymore?” She heard her dad’s voice get closer and turned to see him in the doorway of her bathroom. Trixie pulled her skirt down a bit more and buttoned her shirt up one more button. “You’re so beautiful, princess. You’ve grown up to be a beautiful young lady.”

“I just want to clear my head. I’m just nervous for my bible analyzation exam.” She made an excuse. “Thank you,” Trixie kept her voice low as she continued to curl her hair. “I’ll be fine, dad. I’ll send you a text message when I make it there safely.”

“Okay, princess. I’ll see you after school. Love you.” He walked over to kiss her forehead before turning away to leave.

Trixie flinched at the touch and affection before plastering on the fake smile that she always had. “Love you too.” She whispered back before sighing of relief when he exited the bathroom. A few months ago, Trixie would’ve done anything with her dad. They’d watch terrible tv shows, comedy movies, football, and dance competition shows. Now, Trixie was nervous to spend alone time with her father. He always seemed to get handsy with her if they spent more than twenty minutes together.

Trixie heard her phone ding on her countertop. She quickly picked it up and saw a message from an unknown number.

7:58am: morning trix.

7:59am: this is katya btw.

8:00am: Hi, Katya. Good morning to you as well. How are you this morning?

8:00am: tired… i just got up so that’s why i hasn’t texted earlier. what time do you have to be at school?

8:02am: My school starts at 8:00am, but I don’t have to be there until 9:00am. I don’t have a first period class. Does Riverside High still start at 9:00am?

8:03am: yes, wanna grab coffee with me? I mean i understand if you can’t or don’t want to..

8:04am: I’d love to! What time would you like to meet?

8:04am: 8:20 and at daily brew?if it isn’t close to your school, we can meet somewhere else.

8:06am: That works, it’s about a ten minute walk from my school.

8:07am: great, i’m gonna get ready and i’ll see you then

Trixie left her home at 8:10am to make her way to the coffee shop. She pulled the light pink sleeves from her crewneck over her hands in order to protect her from the air. It was only fifty degrees fahrenheit, but she didn’t like any sort of weather that is below seventy five degrees. She put her earphones in and played her current favorite songs. She softly sung along to the songs, smiling to herself as her mom’s all time favorite song began to play.

When Trixie arrived at the shop, she was starving and was also in need of caffeine. Her eyes traveled around the small shop, searching for Katya. She didn’t see anyone in the cafe except for the couple in the corner in an argument. She pulled her phone from her skirt pocket to check the time. 8:23am. She quietly sighed as she opened her text messages to text Katya. Trixie hoped she hadn’t been played or stood up by the other girl. Before she had the chance to send the message, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She quickly turned around and saw Katya. “Hi,” she smiled as she removed her earbuds.

“Hi, sorry I’m late. My shower took longer than I thought it would be.” Katya had practically ran to the coffee shop. Her hair was still drenched in water, causing the back of her shirt to become wet. Her mascara had smudged under her eyes from not being given enough time to dry. “I also probably look a mess, so once again I am sorry.”

“No, no, don’t feel bad. You look great and I just got here.” She was more concerned about Katya getting sick from the partially cold weather and wet hair. “Do you want to order and then we can sit and talk?” Trixie asked earning a nod from Katya.

[jamiebluewind]

My Sides

Note: I decided to make depression a disorder that impacts me and my sides to varying degrees depending on a variety of factors.

Apathy/Rue: Over sleep, disasociation (which can be handy during a crisis), laziness, relaxing, calming down, zoning out, and meh days. Favorite hobby is doing nothing. Doesn't care what pronouns you use for them. Depression causes them to be heightened to the point of causing emotional numbness and loss of all motivation.

Appearance: Perpetual bedhead. Short brown hair with two pale baby blue hair streaks due to fading. Wears an oversized baggy mens cotton tee with a few tiny holes in it and a chest pocket (for candy). They only wear pants when they have to. Otherwise, it's tiny cotton shorts that barely cover them. Owns one pair of flip flops (that they never wear). Fuck bras and shaving.

*

Restlessness/Max: Over obsessions, compulsions, anxiety, worry, fight/flight/friend/freeze, cognative distortions, and intrusive thoughts. Just a ball of nervousness and overthinking. Loves to research, fixate on topics, theorize, plan for "what if?" scenarios, and overshare about their latest thing. Bad with directions. Has a thing about symmetry. Constantly fidgeting or pacing. Does not do chill. The most likely to cause people to say "that's fucked up" when talking about something they thought of. Most likely to have a friend or freeze response in a dangerous situation. Will bolt when in danger if you trigger their flight response, even if where they end up puts them in more danger. Will act like a rabid animal and attack if you somehow trigger their fight response. They can make Logic harder to hear, but whatever gets through can help them balance out. Apathy can block their fight/flight/friend/freeze response. Depression causes their intrusive thoughts to become much darker.

Appearance: Somewhat messy short brown hair from constantly running their fingers through it. Glasses are a bright color (blue or purple?) so they are harder to misplacd and are either on their face or sitting on top of their head. Eyebags. Long soft scarf around their neck which provides comfort and something to mess with. Long sleeve shirt that's a solid muted or soft color as to not draw attention. A cami underneath just in case. Darker bluejeans (because they hide stains, are durable, and what if period!) with a small flashlight hooked on one of the loops. A hoodie tied around their waist. White sneakers. A wristlet purse with a few emergency items. A hidden necklace with emergency information.

*

Emotion/River: Over feelings, nostalgia, empathy, love, comforting others, gender identity, and sexuality. Aggressively cares about their friends. Would move heaven and earth to help others. Is a bit of a hoarder. Gender fluctuates between demigirl, bigender, and female. Loves art and fiction. Is both childish and profound. Loves moodrings. Depression either mutes all their emotions but sadness (and sometimes anger) or leaves her comatose.

Appearance: Short brown hair is soft and a little fluffy with two bright blue streaks at the front. Bright clothes with lots of colors. Jewelery that suits their mood. Has 2 colorful pronoun bracelets. Always wears at least one mood ring. Beautiful colorful tattoos without a unified theme (although many are cute or look like they came from a cartoon or comic). Several ear piercings and one sparkly nostril. Wears eyeliner and lip tint when she feels like dressing fem and occasionally uses eyeshadow. Clothes are usually androgynous. T-shirt has writing on it that made her smile. Shirt has a crew cut on "they days" and a v-neck on "she days". Reflective rainbow colored novelty purse. Sandals. Owns one floofy long skirt. The rest of their bottoms are shorts, capris, or pants. They usually wear capris.

*

Logic/Jo: Over intelligence, knowledge, curiosity, theorizing, the logical side of beliefs, and objectivity. Loves learning and reading non-fiction, but is fond of certain fictional works. Schedules, pay the bills, and self care. Open minded. Loves to research and has a massive library of knowledge, but due to the multi-dimensional nature of their room, information sometimes ends up stored in the wrong place. Fascinated by religions on an intellectual, historical, and cultural standpoint and uses what she learns to be mindful and respectful. Can counteract cognative distortions, but can also cause or amplify fixations on her quest for knowledge. Stubborn. Depression causes them to have difficulty functioning and sometimes become distorted until they find reasons to do dangerous or harmful things.

Appearance: Short brown hair is always professional. Simple glasses have dark blue, almost black frames. No piercings or tattoos. Cotton polo and slacks. Only jewelery is an elegant stirling necklace with a long chain and a large simple diamond shaped charm (one side says "She" while the other says "They"). Comfortable professional black loafers.

*

Creativity/Journey: Over inspiration, creativity, brainstorming, certain types of problem solving, ingenuity, out of the box thinking, writing, singing, photography, other creations, worldbuilding, jokes, puns, acting, and certain types of lying to others. Frequently goes on tangents. Run on sentences. Can be a little too energetic and random. Once inspired, they can't stop thinking about something until it's done or they run out of inspiration or drive. Has a wall of books for cataloguing ideas and unfinished projects (often taking from several old ones to build a new one), but the order has no rhythm or reason (even to them). Can be heightened or hindered by Restlessness. Apathy can help Creativity with daydreams and less fear, but make it difficult for them to take action. Depression makes them barely function, save acting and negative ideas.

Appearance: Dark purple hair with several bright blue hair steaks. Ear piercings and one sparkly dermal near their left eye. Purple eyeliner. Modified a pair of comfy overall shorts (aka shortalls) to be backless with a halter top fit (instead of the traditional tank top fit) so they would have lots of pockets to store stuff while having the most skin exposed to show off their extensive tattoos. Tends to wear a strapless binder or halter top underneath to avoid boob slips. Runs around in socks indoors, but has hiking boots for outside. Tattoos are artistic with heavy symbolism as well as quotes.

*

Ambiguity/Duo: Over morally gray areas, lying to others and oneself, telling the truth to others and oneself, spotting both deceit and honesty in others, superstitions, the illogical side of beliefs, seeing the good in the bad and visa versa, sarcasm, and occasional devil's advocate. Not quick to judge. Sees gender as a social construct, but also that some people require it. Sees religion as something that is not necessary for them to be happy, but knows it is important to others and will fight for those rights (as long as it doesn't hurt the individual, others, or society itself). Balances the line of what is and is not socially acceptable. Personal truths. Has a very "you do you" attatude. Probably enjoys yoga and certain fiction, especially ones that subvert expectations and/or tropes. Depression causes them to become skewed. Because of this, some things become amplified (lies to self and others, seeing the bad in good,...), some things become weakened (honesty, seeing the good in bad, spotting honesty,...), and some things become tainted (deceit is spotted when none is there, beliefs become tainted,...).

Appearance: Right half of face is white while the left half is black. A gray part in the middle where one color fades into the other that's about the width of their lips. Hair and clothing follow the same theme with the only color being their blue hazel eyes. Hair is held back with a metallic silver headband. Button up shirt with a sheer back (similar look to this). One glove on the left side. Bottoms are pinstripe palazzo pants or culottes. Ballet slippers. Has an ornimental tattoo on their back and one on each ankle.

----

Other facts...

My sides all have their individual jobs and functions, but they also work together on certain things.

My morality comes from Emotion, Logic, and Ambiguity. They work together despite their frequent disagreements.

Beliefs come from Logic and Ambiguity. Emotion can help by attaching a feeling to each belief.

If my ego is hurt, it effects Creativity, Emotions, and/or Logic depending on which was targeted. The same goes for the opposite (such as when praised).

Having my ego hurt make Restlessness freak out and overthink everything.

Despite Emotion having main control over gender identity (mine being femfluidflux), Logic has some input. Occasionally, Apathy or Ambiguity have a say.

Creativity literally created a new type of clothing for their needs. The halter shortalls currently do not exist to my knowledge.

All the sides have a varying level of fondness for cats. Apathy respects their chill. Restlessness finds them calming as well as a good way to release nervous energy. Emotion's heart just melt from the adorableness and wants all snuggles. Logic appreciates the proven medical benefits of having a pet. Creativity loves making cat toys, taking photos, and playing games with cats. Ambiguity admires their independence and controlled chaos. Their opinions on other animals varies.

None of my sides are entirely good or entirely bad. They also balance each other. (Apathy can help Emotion and Restlessness chill. Emotion can help Apathy when they get heightened. Restlessness can help spur the others into action as well as fixate to help Logic and Creativity. Emotion gives Logic and Creativity encouragement as well as helping make sure writing hits right in the feels. Logic helps the others with facts and helps break through negative thinking and spirals. Creativity helps connect thoughts in new and exciting ways and helps Restlessness find new ways to coop. Ambiguity helps the others make the hard decisions and keeps Logic from becoming too ridged.)

[tigerlily1615]

*gasps softly* ahaha... i do that?

ok here we go...

i bite my nails a LOT. it’s horrible afjdjfdsgj

especially when i’m trying to sleep, i have a very hard time relaxing completely. i have to focus on not moving or bouncing my feet, my thoughts run WILD, and usually breathing deeply a lot of the time doesn’t work because the slower i go, the more likely i am to break the deep breathing pattern and breath faster because i feel like i’m not getting enough oxygen. not very fun.

i can’t focus on things for a very long time. at all. even things that i usually enjoy doing (like playing video games [not social media tho, that i can do for hours], reading, sitting around in my backyard doing nothing) it’s hard for me to continue doing it for a very long time, usually i can go for 20 minutes or so and then i just lose interest (for reading i can go for longer usually but i periodically lose focus) and simply cannot do it anymore without going “this sucks :(”

i chew on pencils (i have an absolutely gnawed mechanical pencil that i use often), i have a spinny ring that i mess with if i have it on too. sometimes i mess with the little dangly things on hoodies and bite on the plastic parts

i talk...a lot..especially when people let me talk. same with texting. i send BRICKS of text. i tend to overshare w/ people which really sucks, especially online. 

sometimes i tense up my muscles without realizing it, but i don’t do it on purpose usually

when talking with people (ESPECIALLY new people or people i’m not familiar with), i will constantly fidget with my hair, clothing, hands, or fingers. This is not because i want to interrupt them, though, so I think it’s just me being anxious and needing to let out that nervous energy.

when messing around with friends (and my brothers), I tend to be very physical without even being aware of it, and i’ve been told that i’m a hard hitter. Sometimes i can control it, sometimes a just...do it. and it sucks because i don’t WANT to hurt my friends.

i tap my feet, bounce my legs, tap little beats onto the table/laptop CONSTANTLY! 

I actually have a fear of being restrained or restricted from movement. Usually when i get stuck it’s frustration that evolves into panic the longer I stay stuck. That’s why i never go in tubes, boxes, never use cuffs or restraints, and God forbid i use a too-tight sleeping back when camping. Even tight clothes bother me to all hell.

God i have the worst posture when i sit, and change it often. i go from tucking my knees to my chest, slouching with my feet resting on the chair opposite me, sitting up straight w/ good posture (this lasts for approximately 2 seconds lol), sitting criss cross, one leg up - one leg down, crossed legs (like a “lady” or whatever), crossed ankles, swinging legs, and squatting on the chair (lol). throughout the day, i switch through most of these

i doodle a lot, but i’m not sure if it helps me focus on people talking. it might, though, i’ve just never payed attention to it. it might actually distract me (but i really don’t know, because i’m bad at multitasking and usually will not process more than one thing at a time). i just get bored w/ my work and draw tiny things, usually circles and intricate patterns if i have graph paper, or zig-zags, or simply just little people. 

so anyways..not diagnosed, not even sure if i have adhd even (although i have a hunch...), but i thought i’d add my own experiences on it.

I used to think I can't have ADHD because I wasn't hyperactive.

Not everyone can allow themselves to act on their hyperactivity, so we find ways to redirect or hide the understimulation.

(Sneak introduction to the new inattentive Alien! A hommage to a collab I did with René ♥️)

If yo u’d like to support my work, check out my patreon :)

[browniefox]

Chills Running Down Your Spine

Pro No Evens of @trulymightypotato‘s Royal Expectations.

Gar, Snow, and cold.

Also known as four times Gar felt the cold and Snow didn’t, and one time that was swapped.

admittedly this was written pretty quickly but I still like it

+1

--o o- o-o

“Snow!”

Gar pressed his face up against the glass, breath fogging up the window as he stared at the fluffy of white just outside.

“The first one of the season.” His sister commented, also watching frozen water falling to the ground.

“Can we go out?” His sister couldn’t help but to smile fondly. Her brother was a teenager, but for a rare moment she could almost image he was a little kid again, not being trained for war. Not having too many responsibilities on his shoulders.

“Yeah, why not. Don’t forget to put on a cloak!” She called after him as he rushed off, but it was too late, Gar was already rushing out the closest door. Perhaps she should rush after him. It wouldn’t do for the prince to get a cold. But she had to let him have this. It would only be a matter of time before the harsh hands of death ripped the last of his childishness from him. So she had to let him have it, this moment.

Anyway, Gar ran back in on his own,.

“It’s too cold!” Gar shivered a bit, arms wrapped tightly around himself.

“That’s how you get snow.” His sister chuckled.

“I know.” Gar stared at the door, as if trying to decide whether or not to go right back out. “I just… you only get your first snow of the year once. I didn’t want to see it go by.”

He knew. She could hear it in those words. He knew that it wouldn’t be long until he’d have to leave everything behind, and he was trying to enjoy it.

“Let’s at least get something a bit warmer. The snow isn’t going anywhere.” The princess smiled at him. “It’s been ages since I last obliterated you in a snowball fight.”

“Hey! Now you’re not the only one who knows war tactics!” Gar shot back as they both went to grab their cloaks.

ooo -o --- o--

“Snow, you have to take off your cloak.”

Bluescale’s foot tapped the white-covered stones as she waited for the protector to leave the shadows. He had the thick fabric wrapped tightly around him as he left the relative warmth near the building and went farther out into the flurry of snow.

“I’m sure I can feel if I’m doing it from inside of my cloak.” Snow shot back, but his hands were already peeking out of the sleeves and fidgeting with the clasp.

“We already know you can do it against small bits of cold, this is the real trick!” Bluescale toed off her boot and very deliberately stuck her foot into a patch of snow.

“Okay okay.” The dragon watched as the magic cords in Snow seemed to brighten, coursing through him as he literally worked his magic. They’d been playing around with this for a while. Snow’s magic was so similar to Bluescale’s they just had to give it a try, see how similar they really were and what they could both do. Snow carried the cloak in his arms, face scrunched up in concentration. Bluescale waited a moment for a reaction.

“It’s… not too cold?” Snow offered. “Just a bit chilly.”

“I knew you could do it!” Bluescale wrapped him in a proud hug. “You’re growing up so fast!”

“Hey, I’m going to be bound soon! I’m not a kid!” And just like that Snow’s concentration broke, the cold hitting him like a hammer, and he immediately started shivering.

“Guess we’ll  have to work on it more.” Bluescale commented as Snow quickly put his cloak back on, snuggling up into it.

“Definitely. But hey, we’ve got it to work.” Snow gave her a smile.

“Just wait, before you’re out of here you’re going to be a pro at ice magic.” Bluescale promised as they walked inside.

+2

“Hey, this is no fair.”

“You’re just saying that because you keep losing.”

Which, well, that was true. But Gar wasn’t about to tell that to Snow. Snow swiftly put his sword back in its sheath as he put out a hand to help Gar up. Gar’s pride didn’t let him take it as he got to his feet on his own, internally at the amount of strength he needed. Technically, even losing was good practice still. He’d never practiced fighting in winter armor enough, and the weather definitely called for it. The winds blew chilling air, and the normal armor left him absolutely frozen.

Which was where Snow was cheating. Cheating by still wearing the lighter-weight, non-furred armor meant for warmer months. He wasn’t even shivering. Just standing straight, waiting for what Gar would do next. They may be bonded, but for whatever the reason the ice between them was still having a bit of a hard time breaking.

“I think we should take a break.” Gar sighed, feeling like by saying that he was losing even more.

“Okay.” Snow nodded, waiting for Gar to take the first step back in. Gar reluctantly headed back in, a bit too aware of the protector following close behind him. Yeah, having a personal guard was still taking a lot of getting used to. They both removed their armor, Gar taking much longer than Snow as he slowly worked through all of the layers. And with winter coming, it was only going to get worse. He could only hope that he wouldn’t be called out to where the real fighting was going on until it was at least Spring.

They reached for the door handle into the main halls of the castle at the same time, hands brushing, and Gar quickly jerked his hand back. He had just touched such a freezing object, one that had obviously been chilled by the winds for hours. The object was, of course, Snow’s hands. Snow, who wasn’t even wearing gloves in an effort to warm them up. In fact he still didn’t look affected in the slightest.

“Alright, fine, I give, I’ll bite.” Gar set his hand on the door, stopping Snow from leaving. Snow on his part just looked a bit confused. “How can you stand it?”

Snow raised an eyebrow, and he opened his mouth before closing it again. Gar had the distinct impression a snarky remark had almost left that mouth. And Gar knew the guy could be more than the smooth monolithe of perfect guard he seemed to determined to pretend to be. “Stand what?”

“The cold! You must’ve been freezing out there! Is this all just a part of your act to prove you were raised to be a better fighter than me? Like I can’t possibly take care of myself or survive this freaking war without somebody constantly watching my back? I was raised during a war period too, I think I can at least make my way around the castle without being attacked and killed thanks.” Frick. Yep. That just spilled out. Gar felt his cheeks heat up as he looked away. Frick. He had to spend the rest of his life with this guy. He shouldn’t be causing problems. Snow gave what sounded like a small cough, then a louder cough, and then Gar realized the guy was laughing. He looked back at his protector to find an actual smile on his face.

“And here I thought you hated me.” Gar started to say something to defend himself, but Snow just swung the door open. “You do know protecting you is literally my job. Like, the magic would kill me if I didn’t. I’m going to go sneak some food from the kitchens.”

“O… kay.” Gar watched as Snow started to walk down the hall before turning around for a moment.

“And Gar? It’s just a bit of magic.”

+3

“Snow. You should rest.”

Gar sat close to the fire, enjoying the warmth it offered. Snow didn’t move from his spot by the treeline.

“Somebody has to watch out for demons.” Snow answered back.

“We are in an entire camp of soldier who would be willing to take your spot for a while.” Gar tried to reason, but Snow still didn’t move.

“Gar. Let me do this. I can take the night chill.”

Gar stared at Snow’s back, at the tension in the shoulders, and sighed. He left the comfort of the flames to stand by his protector’s side. Yep. He was crying. Those were definitely tears running down his face.

“Snow...”

“HE DIDN’T DESERVE TO DIE!” Several of the other soldier posted nearby, also watching the woods, looked over at the shout, but quickly looked away. They all knew what that crack in a voice meant. They’d all had their fair share of agonized screams into the woods.

“I know.” Gar looked back out at the darkness deep into the woods.

“He didn’t deserve it.” Gar had done his grieving, and it was still a gaping wound in his heart, but… Snow always tried so hard to act the part of a Protector, a Royal Protector. A leader that the others could look to. He bottled things up too much.

Sometimes Gar wondered what Snow’s life would’ve been like if he hadn’t been born. Snow wouldn’t be a protector. He wouldn’t have the terrible weight.

“It’s cold.” Gar stepped closer to Snow.

“Go back to the fire Gar.”

“No.” Gar stubbornly stood his ground. “Your hair’s a mess.”

“It’s been hard to manage it. You know, rumor has it there’s a war going on.” Snow self consciously lifted a hand to his head. To say it was getting shaggy was somewhat of an understatement. Something stopped being shaggy when you can pull it back into a ponytail. “You look exhausted.”

“Likewise.”

+4

ooo -o --- o--

Snow stared at his hands.

He couldn’t feel them. Like they had been numbed.

“Why are you hands always cold?”

The small hand of Amarllys found it’s way onto his.

“I’ll tell you someday Ryl.” Snow closed his hand around hers. He ignored the pang it brought, like he was betraying Gar somehow by being able to spend time with the daughter he’d never even seen.

“Don’t you want to warm them up?” She put her other hand over his and rubbed his hand.

“It doesn’t bother me.” I don’t feel it. I’m dead. I’m not supposed to be alive.

“Why not?”

“It’s a magic I learned when I was young.” No. That wasn’t true. Not anymore. But he needed her not to freak out. To stay on this horse with him. She was a child, she wasn’t meant to go through this for so long. Such a long travel. Then again, the same could be said for most of the Protectors whisked away at a young age.

Not that there would be too many of those for while.

“Snow?”

“Yes Ryl?”

“Can you tell me about my daddy again? What was his favorite color? Did he like horses? What did he smell like?”

She was so curious about Gar. A man he would someday have to break to her she would have to hope never to see.

And so the Protector told the Princess about the Prince as he brought her to be locked away in a place guarded by dragons.

-1

ooo -o --- o--

The body was too exhausted to do much with.

The Body.

Much better than trying to figure out whether to refer to it as His Body or Gar’s Body.

And the exhaustion drained on Snow. It was taking every part of him just to stay alive. He couldn’t be bothered to even attempt to keep the cold off of him. It seeped down through the skin and into the bone, colder than he’d felt in a long time. Over a thousand years.

Breathing hurt. And while Snow knew - KNEW - it was because of what The Body had been through before he had been into it, he couldn’t help but to wonder if it was also just because he wasn’t used to doing it. Out of practice on how to use lungs.

“You should be asleep.” he said the words into the room. Molly had thought she was being quiet, perhaps thought that Snow as asleep, but he had heard her enter, tiptoeing to the bedside chair.

“S-sorry. I… I can’t sleep.”

“When this body is better, we’ll be leaving for the Guardians. And you’ll need to have enough energy to do it. Exhaustion will not help with that.”

“I know.”

“Is the necklace not helping?” The talking was already getting tiring.

“No, it is. That’s not why I couldn’t sleep.” Snow waited patiently. “I… Snow, I don’t know you.”

“Yes.” The guilt buried itself deeper. He wasn’t who she needed. He had failed to give her back that person.

“But you don’t deserve to be alone.”

Didn’t he? He had failed his royal so many times. He had taken things that weren’t his. A daughter, a body. A kind of fatherhood?

“I don’t matter.” He didn’t have the strength to stop the words from dropping from his mouth. He was a Protector. He was made to die, in a way.

Molly didn’t respond to that. Perhaps she knew she wasn’t one who could change his mind on that. Maybe she agreed. Or she was just too tired to argue this late into the night.

“Do you need anything?”

“... another blanket may be nice.”

--o o- o-o

It was his own face.

A stone statue with his curls and his eyes. A perfect replica.

Gar reached out as if to touch it, but his hand went right through the rock.

So he really was dead then.

Around his statue’s neck was his medallion, what he’d only had for such a short amount of time.

Gar had been in this building before. When he had first been in here, he had been so scared of having to go in a retrieve Snow’s medallion. To have that kind of life in his hands. What if he was never able to come back? Would Snow be stuck as a ghost? He’d never thought about the positions being somewhat reversed. Then again, why would a Royal think they’d be a Protector?

The halls had been so cold.

Gar couldn’t feel that unearthly chill anymore.

He couldn’t feel anything. It was almost like being in a dream, moving like he wasn’t really there. Everything around him seemed fake.

He hoped Molly would come and get him soon.

He couldn’t be trapped like this, just to his thoughts.

Thinking about all that he had done wrong in his life. How many people he’d killed and hurt. All of the terrible things he’d done.

How many people he had failed.

[lizzieraindrops]

intro

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts , @podcastmecaptain , and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are equally responsible for the hijinks found in this post.

click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!

point-of-exile, CO

modern day, 20[fuck]

bill donovan is the principal of the only high school around for miles

he's a dick

like a full on dick 

seniors: june, helen, anthony, sally

juniors: penny, esther, quentin, jack, bridget 

important relationships/friendships: june/helen, helen/anthony, june/quentin, esther/bridget, jack/penny, sally & anthony, esther & jack, sally & esther

june and helen are dating each other as well as their boyfriends, they and quentin and anthony have a poly arrangement that they're all really happy with 

also, sally and anthony are really Not dating, but also they're not exactly Not Dating, either. mostly, they're best friends. 

everyone at school is slightly bemused by the gang because so many of them are dating each other (in both assorted pairs AND poly chains) and those that aren't are often so close that it's hard to tell anyway

theatre kids: why the fuck is the science department queerer than we are

height order from shortest to tallest: esther, sally, jack, bridget, penny, quentin, helen, anthony, june

sally skipped a grade and is the same age as the juniors

esther and bridget are out to everyone in the science kid gang and esther’s sort of out at school 

sally's completely out to the gang and most of school by senior year. she’s ace as hell and definitely some kind of aromantic

sally had a really awkward coming out that probably involved terrible puns

june and quentin are both bi and out (june is out to everyone except her parents) 

quentin is a demiguy and mostly goes by he/him but sometimes uses they and ze

jack is trans

helen is trans (and loosely bi, if she had to pick a label for that aspect of her identity)

anthony’s pan 

penny is demiromantic and demisexual 

helen and june are the mom and dad friends

bridget actually calls them mom and dad 

the three of them go get sandwiches at the coffee shop where penny works

and the four of them have a “our dates are nerds and we’re suffering” bond

they call themselves “the girlfriend gang”

everyone agrees the following is true:

helen: god 

june: the devil

bridget: an angel

penny: a demigod

helen for student body president 

anthony works part time at the post office. he gets very bored. sometimes the gang goes to bother him and he makes faces at them through the slots when they open the mailboxes

june works in retail, even though her parents are kind of rich. they wanted her to get the life experience. if you’ve ever worked retail you understand why she’s always angry

bridget volunteers at the library

she’s friends with all of the old lady librarians

they give her advice when she wants to plan cute dates with esther

and they all share book recommendations

and geek out while they shelve  

sally works at the ice cream shop

always gets in trouble for trying to identify the flavor formulas

gives everyone discounts

most likely to get in trouble for her hair being uncontainable

lots more under the readmore!

fitness pacer test

esther gets out of it by faking an injury

bridget does the minimum +2 laps bc she's extra

june and quentin KICK ASS bc theyre on track and go running together

sally is sprawled across the finish line

anthony cuts in line for chicken nuggets

it's like the vine, he's like

so i’m sitting there

bbq sauce on my tiddies

sally’s on the floor, dying laughing

sally wears a onesie on pj day

senior prank, somehow engineered to mess with JUST THE JUNIORS

petra does backflips at pep rallies

quentin actually pays attention in class

bridget talks A LOT in english (to the point where she’s now trying not to talk for fear of taking over the conversation) and a little in history and that’s it

esther participates a lot in almost every class but she’s frankly frightening in the sciences

jack has trouble staying focused but he’s doing his best, usually he’s okay if he brings something to fidget with

anthony is A GOOF

however, he does get suspended

for cleaning principal donovan's clock if you catch my drift

he punched him. i mean he punched him.

in the throat.

he's grounded too and everyone can't write or text or communicate with him, so they refer to this period as his time in The Punishment Cube

sally finds a way to chat tho

because she's sally

donovan quits after this.

he cannot fucking handle these weirdos.

bye bitch

sally’s only talkative in her special interest classes, otherwise she’s pretty quiet 

ESTHER AND JACK BEING OBNOXIOUS IN SCIENCE CLASSES TOGETHER

they squabble constantly

the teachers spend a whole month figuring out how to make sure they don’t have classes together (oh, god, not Them)

but esther’s in the wrong math, has to get her schedule changed, ends up in ap physics 2 with jack

magic SCHOOL BUS

the gang meets up every now and then for magic school bus marathons

with breaks for watching cosmos or bill nye

anthony tried to play the theme on the tuba once

it went very badly

cards club

esther’s the president

jack’s the only other member

they meet once a week and just play dilemma together

if you get jack and esther to work together it’s fucking eerie 

they don’t need to ask each other for stuff they just know what the other one needs

the only thing more terrifying than the two of them going after each other is the two of them going after someone else

maggie the mouse girl let all of the lab rats out

somehow helen is in band, orchestra, and choir

she plays clarinet and string bass mostly, but it doesn’t take her long to pick up something new

one year they all did their arts cred at the same time

bridget on bassoon, and she’s damn good

sally was in percussion and had way too much fun with the cymbals

anthony should have been in percussion but he played TUBA

quentin did cello

june and esther play viola, they have an ongoing rivalry for the first chair (esther’s losing!)

carmen is absolutely the principal first violin and she’s a freshman and everyone is just resigned to the fact that she’s better than all of them

sally and anthony share an “i went to smart kid camp” shirt

it’s huge on sally, who is a twig. she wears it cinched with a hair tie

it’s slutty tight on anthony 

[squaredancing-weston]

F2F || Brobastrose : A Belligerent Condition, 1/03/2017

Tagging: @sebadasssmythe​ @wmhs-marleyrose and @squaredancing-weston

Time: Tuesday night, 3 January 2017

Setting: River of Stix parking lot, Marley’s House, Lima, OH

Summary:  After Marley finally finds a drunken Sebastian, she realizes she needs reinforcements to get him back home

Part 2 (Sequel to A Drunken Mess)

...Taking out her phone, she dials a familiar number. "Hey? Um.. I need help."

“Marley?  Where are you?  Where’s Sebastian?”

”River of Stix.  I'm the idiot trying to get another idiot in my car. Oh god he's taking off his shirt now muffled Sebastian it's cold. Put your shirt on”

"What the fuck is he-- okay...never mind.  I'll be there in ten.  Get his shirt back on before he gets hypothermia."  

 "I'm trying! He's making it hard. Jesus Christ he's like a three year old." And Bas is laughing because she said the word hard and he's all "that'd not the only thing hard", all while draping over her 

As Brody pulls into the lot, she's still trying to get his shirt on.   He's moving about too much for Marley to get his shirt on. Like as soon as she does, he just throws it off again.

Brody doesn't even turn off his car-- just literally puts it into park and hops out. walks over to Bas and picks him up, throwing him over his shoulder and carries him toward the truck.  He’s not putting up with this shit tonight.  He shouldn’t even be here.

"You are so fucking impossible Sebastian"

Bas is kicking and trying to wriggle out of his grasp "I'm fine - I still had some wine left, let me go!!"

Marley is following making sure he gets in the car. Probably sitting in the passenger seat with Bas in the middle so he won't try and get out.  Also someone has to put his seatbelt on, because Brody literally just threw him in the truck

 So she just leaves her car behind

Yeah, Brody hadn’t thought about that.  He just jerks the door shut, locks the doors, and kicks it into drive.  "Your place or his?" 

"Mine. He lives in an apartment. He can't make a big scene at my place.”

Meanwhile Bas starts trying to take his pants off - "Why is it so //hot//??"

Brody doesn’t know if Marley knows that Brody has been to Sebastian’s place, but now probably isn’t the time to delve into it. "Yeah, fine."  Glances over.  "Keep your goddam pants on"

Simultaneously Marley commands, “Put them back on”

Sebastian looks at both of them. "That's the first time either of you have said that" wink

Brody ignores the drunk, glances over at Marley, "I have some duct tape if you think gagging him will help"

Bas doesn’t miss that. "Kinky"

Marley smiles.  “I think I can tape his hands together too...”

Brody wants to smack Sebastian, instead just scolds him.  "Shut up Lush.”  Then looks back over at Marley, "How much has he had?"

Marley shakes her head. “I don't know.. He was pretty wasted when he started texting me”

"You weren't with him?"   Brody’s surprised-- he doesn’t know why.  Sebastian’s texts were pretty clear that Marley wasn’t there.  

“No. He texted me drunk...”

It’s just like Bas, really.  So determined to be right that he’d sabotage his own happiness.  Brody just sighs.  "Sorry-- it's fine.  It's fine-- let's just get him into bed."

The drive is pretty quick thanks to Brody’s lead foot.  He doesn’t think he should be here, honestly.  It’s too soon, and everyone’s still mad.  Well, Sebastian’s horny apparently, but he’ll be mad in the morning.

For now, Brody is quiet, and pulls into the driveway.  Literally scoops the younger man up and drags him out of his truck, throwing him back over his shoulder without room for negotiation and looks over to Marley for directions.

“Right. Put him in the guest room.”

And even without being able to see him, the older man can see Sebastian smirk. "Only if you both join me"

Brody ignores him and starts walking, because he's not putting up with this shit.

Marley, trailing behind them, however, reprimands, “You're getting a bottle of water and a bucket”

He turns slightly to look at her.  "I'll put him down-- you get the stuff?"

 "Bring condoms!"

“Yeah I'm get gatorade too.”  And Marley disappears into the kitchen.

Brody jostles Bas scoldingly, but doesn’t say anything until they get to the guest room.  He doesn’t want to make a mess out of Marley’s bed-- or have Bas do it.  So he bumps Bas on his shoulder, "Are you going to puke soon?"

Furrowing his brows. "No, I'm not that drunk, fucks sake Brodes.”  The words are totally slurred, but Brody believes him anyways-- it takes a lot to turn Bas’ stomach.

If things were different, the situation would be cute.  A small part of Brody thinks it’s cute anyways.  However, the larger, more realistic and one hundred percent sober part rolls his eyes, leaning over the mattress and carefully laying the drunkard down on the mattress.

Bas always seems so needy like this-- a little clingy, a little less pompous despite his increased bravado and suggestive nature.  Brody wishes he would just be with Marley and let himself be happy, because it’s hard to watch him like this and do nothing.  "You're being a moron."  He says it quietly, fingers combing his hair back a little

Marley comes back with everything. And bites her lip seeing that

Sebastian, meanwhile, hums and tugs his shirt "Plenty of room in this bed for two." Looks at Marley. "Or more."

Which draws Brody's eye behind him, so he quickly steps back, clearing his throat.

Marley deadpans, "You're drunk, Bas. Not happening."  Even though she'll totally fall asleep in the chair in the room to make sure he's okay.

Brody stares down at him like a stubborn puppy.  "Stay.  Sleep."

Bas is so far gone though. He's probably passed out by this point. 

Outside the room, Brody fidgets. "I should go."  He can’t stay, won’t stay, but he wishes they could talk.  Wishes she wanted to talk.

Marley wants to talk, but doesn’t know where to start.

"He's just being stubborn, you know."   Don’t give up on him, Brody thinks.  Bas needs Marley; tonight has made that much obvious, at least.

"I know.. thank you for helping.. I didn't want to bother you, but I didn't know who to call”

He shakes his head-- he’s a masochist, apparently.  "It's not a problem.  I'd rather both of you managed to keep from ending up passed out in a ditch somewhere if you can help it.  You can always call if you need it Marl-ey."  Like he was going to say Marls and decided that was a bad idea.

Marley notices how he used her full name and he never does. "I'm sober.. he is dead weight when he's drunk.. I was really impressed you could carry him like that.

Brody’s mind lingers on the memory of how many times he’s done it before-- carried Bas around like he was nothing.  Throwing him over his shoulder in order to set him just where he wants him.  It’s not really an appropriate memory for the situation.  "He's like a sack of potatoes.  With a bony ass.  But it's not so hard--I don't mind it"  Shrugs.  "And I meant in general.  You can call if you need help."

She hums when he mentions his ass because come on! "I can usually pull him but he's dead weight when he's drunk." She tucks her hair behind her ear, wanting to say more but biting back. "Thanks.."

"Yeah, that's why I didn't bother trying to get him to be in charge of his own mobility.  But if he hadn't been so far gone, I'm sure you would have had things handled."   He rubs the back of his neck.  "You're welcome.  And...look, I just.  I am sorry.  About the other day.  I mean, I know I kind of live with my foot in my mouth, but that was...well.  I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I would have done the same if I could." She shifts, smiling at his compliment, and nods. "I'm sorry too.. I completely over reacted, I should have kept my mouth shut." She bites her lip. "I hate this... we aren't talking... I know we've been talking for a short time, but.., I miss it I guess..

"I know."  He gives her a small smile.  He’s glad he got the chance to apologize-- he’d meant what he’d said, but he’d really done a crappy job saying it.  "It's fine, really.  And, I know, but...I'm...not ready.  Yet.  I think we still need some time to transition-- figure out what we are now."  He's shifting back and forth on his feet.  "What...everything is."  It’s too soon to be friends.  He knows he said that was what he wanted, and he does, but now is the wrong time.  Not when she still sounds like she wants to be with him and is still pretending that there’s nothing going on with her and Sebastian.  The two of them drive him crazy in general: trying to be the third wheel while they ignore this thing between them //will// kill him.

Marley would frown and press her lips together. "Transition? What is there to transition to? You made it clear.. what else is it?"

"Okay, fine.  No transitioning.  I just need time Marley.  Period."  Exhales.  "I should go-- make sure he doesn't choke on his own vomit."

"Time for what?" She'd ask before biting her lip. "Fine. I'll watch him. I know you care about him. I'll watch him for you..." Everything about this conversation just cements her thoughts that he has feelings for Bas not her.

"What?  Not for //me// Marley.  This isn't about //me//.  For him, for you; but it's got nothing to do with me."  How can she not see that?  He feels like ignoring what they have must, fighting against it constantly, must be exhausting for the two of them.  Shakes his head and gives a dry laugh.  "You two are so much alike, you know that?  Stubborn as hell when you want to be.  Good night Marley."

"I didn't mean anything by it." Though she totally did. "Bas is your friend. I just said I'd look after him... Are you serious right now? I'm not being stubborn. You can't do that, Brody. It isn't fair."

"Right.  Yeah."  Nods.  He doesn’t believe her for a second, but he’s already been at this for days with Sebastian; he needs a break.  "And yours.  Your //best// friend, right?"  He holds out his hands, because he didn't come her looking for a fight.  "Alright, you're right.  Look, you seem to have this covered, so I'll leave you two alone.  Good night Marley; take care."  It’s enough for tonight, so he gives an awkward wave and makes his way back out into the dark.

[allconditionsurvival-blog]

Best Turkey Hunting Chair - Full Review

If you have hunted much at all you have probably pertained to learn the value of remaining as still as possible when predator or turkey calling, being in a blind neglecting a deer route, or participating in any wildlife viewing or photography activity. In order to sit still for long periods, a hunter must be comfortable and I believe that numerous crucial elements must be considered. Having the right hunting chair for your hunt is a must.

If the ground is wet, cold, or laced with mess it is important to avoid direct contact. Back and leg support is likewise important for comfort. Any hunter who is uncomfortable will just have the ability to remain in place for a few minutes before it is needed to move. I have actually utilized some kind of chair or ground pad for blind searching and requiring over twenty years, since I learned long ago that success if typically directly connected to stealth and I can count on being the most uncomfortable when the quarry lastly appears.

I need some kind of back and leg assistance for 3 particular types of hunts. On the list is waiting in a ground blind throughout muzzleloader deer season. Kansas muzzleloader only deer season starts in mid-September. Summertime foliage is at its biggest, fall crops are not harvested and cross country whitetail environment presence is greatly impeded. When deer are flushed during a still hunt they are typically able to return to cover prior to the hunter has any type of reasonable shot. One of the most effective muzzleloader searching techniques at this time of year is to develop a ground blind near a game trail and wait for deer to pass in the really morning or just at the sundown hours. A tree stand will work however tree stands are often challenging to handle in my location because of the size and structure of the trees. Ground blinds can be developed really quickly as conditions differ and they are normally effective. At the least I will often sit for 2 hours during these critical passing durations. The more comfy I am the most likely that I can sit for those hours with a minimum of fidgeting.

The 2nd situation involves predator calling. A lot of experienced callers will advise that an optimal time limit of twenty minutes will be most likely to produce a reaction. Then it is typically more productive to move on and call from another site. As a general guideline this is true, however not constantly. Bobcat actions generally take longer. I frequently call for as long as an hour in areas where coyotes should take a trip a cross country or in areas where video game is travelling through. Even when calling for just twenty minutes, if it is unusually cold or damp, it is really challenging to remain comfortable without a device to keep your rear end off the ground.

I likewise sometimes set up over carcasses or other baiting sites and wait for predators to come in. Such waits, while frequently effective, can last for hours.

Another circumstance for me is the classic design of spring turkey searching. Turkeys can be exceptionally hesitant to come into weapon variety. Working a tom can typically take significant effort and time. In my location, particularly during the early part of the season, Rio Grandes will not respond to calls at all. It is even more reliable to know roosting locations and wait on flocks to come in at sundown. I often need to stay up amid little clusters of tall cottonwood trees surrounded by large open acreages of bare crop land. I have to enter into position around 4:00 p.m. and wait on as long as 4 hours. Frequently they will display on open ground for 2 or 3 hours before finally coming in to roost. If I try to sneak in to a website throughout that time they will typically see me and the entire effort is wasted. To be most effective, I need to get in early and wait, typically in nearly best stillness. I have had turkeys approach my position a couple of yards at a time over a duration of numerous hours, showing and grazing, showing and grazing, totally unconcerned to my decoys or my calling. Yet, they still be available in to roost in the last moments of shooting light. Nothing is more intense than being uneasy throughout that wait.

I was utilizing a turkey vest with a connected ground pad. It was one of those days when the flock showed for hours on freshly planted irrigated corn ground prior to moving into some cottonwood trees to roost. In the meantime, I sat on the ground in the middle of the trees themselves.

There are 3 design components of a classic turkey lounger that considerably increase comfort. The hunter sits much closer to the ground than with a conventional folding chair. Concealment is much better. Secondly, the chair is lower in the seat with firm back support to help convenience. It is like sitting in a Lazy Boy lounger. Last, because of the angle of the chair and its height, it is rather comfortable to sit with knees elevated so that a hunter can wait with gun butt to the shoulder, elbows braced on the knees, for the really minimum of motion before taking the shot. Long variety shots, even with a shotgun, are far more likely to be precise. This knee braced shot benefit works for deer, predator, and turkey shots. I shoot far more precisely from this position with a minimum of movement to obtain into position. These exact same features request the wildlife observer or photographer.

The only drawback to this style is that some folks may have some difficulty crawling out of one. The lesson rapidly discovered is not to try to leave it like would be the practice for a normal chair, but rather to slip off the side and after that stand.

In my viewpoint, the folding turkey lounger chair is among the most ingenious and helpful new searching products of the last decade. They increase comfort, concealment, and shooting accuracy. They can turn a possible searching ordeal into an extremely pleasant experience. It actually is like having a mini-recliner in the field.