#Batman is having an aneurysm

[skylersprompts]

DC x DP Prompt *24*

Something has changed. Everyone in the hero community could feel it, even the ones outside of the Justice League.

Over night it seemed like all of them got stronger, faster and more resilient when they were trying to protect someone.

On the other hand, if one of them tried to use their skills to do something unheroic, it was harder to use them and other heros seemed to be able to sense their betrayal easier.

It took some time for Zatanna and the rest of the Justice League Dark to figure out what was going on. Mostly because they didn't think of this specific thing.

A new god had ascended. Something that happened rarely, especially nowadays. But the magic users were sure. Every hero they had checked, had a divine blessing from a new patron god. And every former hero who had fallen to villainy in the last few month had a curse put on them.

The god of super heros had ascended and was watching over them. While some heros got paranoid, others felt some sense of pride and relief.

And maybe it wasn't a bad thing, if something else was making sure that evil wouldn't take hold of them. As soon as they knew their name, they could properly worship them.

[dclovesdanny]

Anger Management

2/2

The Justice League was having a diplomatic mission with the Ghost King, which was going fairly well, until he saw Red Hood’s soulmate fact.

Everyone tensed when he grabbed Red Hood’s arm, before looking him up and down.

“Well, you are her type.” Is all he says before fishing out a whistle from his bag. It makes a horrible shrieking noise, and a portal rips open. In it, the Justice League can see the Ghost Kin’s court meeting, and a Red Haired Lady approaches. She looks more human than anyone else there, but all the magic users can tell she is part of the realms.

“Jazz,” The king gestures to Red Hood, whose arm is out. The words ‘I was possessed by my first boyfriend’s ex.’ Stand out starkly on his skin.

“I found your soulmate.”

[somepinkthing]

tim and damian are the exact same level of annoying-know-it-all.

Tim is definitely an 🤓umactually type BUT he can concede a point once proven wrong.

Damian is far less likely to 🤓👆 BUT he has a big ol' superiority complex and would rather start a physical fight than concede a point.

Together, they r a whole menace. The most annoying entity in your college class. Truly powerful stuff. They can clear a room just by holding a civil (well they think it's civil) conversation.

[numei-num]

I just watched Batman: Under the Red Hood.

I need to hug Jason.

[der-schweizer]

There's my portal

As i said on @bet-on-me-13 'Where is my portal' post, here is my short about their idea. please enjoy.

Danny sipped his coffee, slowly shuffling towards his lab. It had been a long time since he had a ‘run on two coffees and some ecto’ weekend but here he was, Monday morning, on his way to work.

He really wanted to be in bed but he had bills to pay.

Quietly he shuffled into his lab, which he found oddly drafty and oddly bright, considering he hadn’t turned on the lights yet. After flicking them on he moved on towards his desk, passing a big gaping hole in the wall and—

Danny paused, shuffled backwards a bit and then looked at the place where his portal used to be. For a long moment he just looked, then did a slow blink and took another sip of coffee.

After making sure that his portal, including parts of the wall, were really gone, he let out a sigh and held his face. “Who the fuck stole my door?”

With a sigh he pushed his bangs out of his face and walked to his PC, to check the security footage of his Cameras. For once it wasn’t Vlad who stole his shit, Vlad at least had the courtesy to leave a note that he ‘borrowed’ something. It was safe to say that he was surprised to find the footage gone. There weren't many people that could hack through Tucker's programing.

Danny sat there, looking at the black screen of his PC for a long moment before thinking aloud. “Okay, we have one or more people who can; One, break through Tuckers firewalls. Two, physically move a portal weighing around ten tons and, Three, knows their way around Arcane Runes so as to not cause a mass ghost invasion.”

He thought about it for a minute before throwing his hands up. “Fuck this, I’m just going to use the other side to find it.” He got out of his chair before transforming. 

Danny focused his power into one of his fingers before poking the air in front of him, the tip of it pierced the fabric of space which he then used to rip it open. He quickly flew through the tear before it sealed again. Despite Wulf teaching him how to do it he still sucked at it, which was the main reason he built his portal.

Once in the Zone he looked around for it. He found it after over two hours of searching, which only served to piss him off to the point where he began muttering curses under his breath.

Standing in front of it, he gave it a quick inspection. After inspecting the Runes, Danny had to admit that, whoever had stolen it, knew his way around them. They pretty much locked out anyone not authorized and or approved by the Caster. Too bad for them, Danny had the ‘Masterkey’ and went through anyway.

John Constantine was holding his face, quietly counting to ten. Neither smoking nor drinking would help in this situation. After reaching fifty he ran his hands over his head, looking at the assembled brigade of idiots in front of him.

“Okay, let me get this straight.” He started, “You,” he pointed at Batman, “found an ‘unknown energy signature’ and went to investigate. Then you found a high security lab with had an active portal to ‘who knows where’ and your first decision was to fucking steal it?!?!”

Superman moved forward, opening his mouth to counter but Constantine didn't let him. “AND you moron helped him steal it, not to mention you!” he pointed at flash, “Help install it here, in the watchtower, without telling anyone from JLD about it?”

Flash looked a bit sheepish at him. “Well, in my defense I didn’t know it was stolen.”

Constantine wanted to bash his head against the next closest bulkhead, maybe that would help.

“Okay, okay.” Constantine facepalmed, trying to stop the aneurysm from building up more.

A deep chill suddenly filled the air and sent goosebumps all over his back, “Oh this is just getting better and better.” Constantine reached into his pocket for a warding charm, before turning around and swearing. He stopped swearing when he saw who had come through. “Oh, hey Phantom.”

“Constantine, why the fuck did you steal my portal?” Danny wasn’t even pissed anymore. He knew the English drunktard too well to blame him. Granted he was obnoxious, didn’t pay back his debt and came whenever it suited him, but Danny liked the man. He didn’t exasperate problems and always did what was necessary.

“Look, I didn’t.” He then threw a thumb over his shoulder, “Those morons did.”

“Constantine, do you know this entity?” Batman already looked on high alert.

“Excuse you! I have a name. And that is my Portal. Explain why it isn't where it is supposed to be.”

“The sensors of the Watchtower found an unknown energy signature, upon investigation we found an unsecured pathway to a different dimension, so we secured it.”

Danny stared at Batman for a solid minute, then simply said, “Oh I'm going to sue your ass so hard your grandkids will feel it.”

[aziraphale-is-a-cat]

DPXDC Spooky Scary Scrub Down

Gotham's ability to attract problems isn't coincidence, but it's not quite a curse either- it's just poor maintenance.

Every large settlement of living beings in the world forms a collective soul commonly known as a city ghost. It's the job of that ghost to clean the negative emotional energy from the area, like a civil servant power washing gum off the sidewalk. But Gotham's ghost just couldn't keep up.

It's not that her citizens produce an excess of negativity like Atlanta, or that her buildings and roads just sucked it in and wouldn't let go like Nashville, no it was something far worse. As the court of owls chipped away at her lifeblood in the stone, her powers dwindled. Their insatiable quest for immortality drained centuries off her existence as they mined the 'Dionesium' out from beneath the city.

In her weakness Gotham had been unable to purify her city, until now.

-

Bruce Wayne was about to have an aneurysm. Some preternatural cloud of fog had been enveloping city blocks in Gotham one after the other heralded by some kid with white hair. The cloud had no discernable effect on the city, but residents reported a 'lighter feeling in the air', so obviously it's evil.

-

Danny's clean up operation was going well, Gotham needed her help and he offered it. The only problem was her little knights, it seems they didn't get the memo on his cleansing operation and were determined to figure out why he was here.

-

Batman: what are you doing to this city.

Danny: cleaning. *walks away through a wall.

-

Red Hood: who are you and what the fuck are you doing to my territory?!

Danny: *pulling a colony of blob ghosts out of a dumpster like a clown car* don't mind me, just passing by.

-

Cass:...

Danny: ...

Cass: okay.

Danny: thanks.

[sanguineterrain]

for the dc prompts you reblogged:

can i request jason todd x reader "someone likes being pinned down" + A flirting with B while sparring to throw them off their tracks

where reader is also a vigilante??

thank you so much 🩷

very sexy prompts thank u 😌

jason todd x gn!reader. r and robin!jay were friends, r doesn't know jason is alive/red hood but jason knows r is a vigilante. r's alias is 'nocturne' (if that's already in use oh well lmao). fighting/sparring, jason is mega in love with you as usual!!

all fics at @sanguinelibrary

****

"Still blindly following the Bat, huh?"

You land in a crouch on the rooftop, just like how Nightwing taught you. The Red Hood doesn't look at you, digging through two duffel bags. He doesn't even draw his gun, like you've seen him do with virtually every other vigilante in Gotham.

You wait, ready to spring into action. But Hood doesn't stop what he's doing. Slowly, you rise.

"What... do you mean?" you ask.

"I mean, why are you traipsing around Gotham as a bat-adjacent? Who are you s'posed to be anyway? Goth Bat? Alternative Scene Bat?"

"I'm Nocturne," you say, shoulders rising to your ears. Rude. You thought the chunky boots and star over your suit's eye mask were inspired.

Red Hood lifts a hand. "Don't get me wrong, I dig the threads. I'm just surprised B didn't have an aneurysm over the sequins. Then again, Discowing did do it first..."

Your first two meetings with the infamous Red Hood have been similar in that he's never very concerned about you stopping him (ouch), but he also isn't callous or cruel with you like he is with the other vigilantes.

Case in point: the last person who cornered Hood on a roof was Red Robin. Hood shot him in the shoulder before he could land.

In short, he's perplexing as hell.

Batman's forbidden the rest of the team to confront Hood without backup. And you're technically not supposed to be on patrol tonight. But if you can intercept Hood, that'll be a huge win.

Hood keeps on packing the duffels. You hesitate, then step forward.

"Get away from the bags," you say. "I won't ask twice."

Hood looks at you. "Nocturne's a pretty cool name, I'll admit. And I like the boots. But I still think you oughta call it quits."

He zips up the bags, stands, and kicks them to the corner of the roof.

"Because you're just that unstoppable?" you ask, hands curling into fists.

"Yeah. But mostly 'cause I know you're made for so much more than this, sweetheart."

And that is the third and perhaps most bewildering thing about your encounters with Red Hood: you've gotten the creeping feeling that he... likes you.

Which is ridiculous, and if you ever breathed a word of that to anybody, Batman would probably check you into Arkham.

You take another careful step forward. Hood leans against the railing and folds his arms.

"This the part where you apprehend and hogtie me for innocently packing a duffel bag?" he asks.

You glare. "Innocent? I know you're making a weapons delivery because I know you've been waiting for Batman to be off-planet to make it."

"Clever. Told ya you're too good for this," Hood says. "Should be in college with those smarts, not playing maid for Batman."

"Are you lecturing me?"

"I'm advising you as your friendly neighborhood drug lord. Lecturing makes me sound like a guy who's got too much money and too big of a savior complex to understand that the way he fights injustice is fundamentally flawed."

"Sounds personal."

Hood laughs. "Honey, you have no idea."

You strike.

Hood parries your first attack easily, which you expect. The truth is that whoever trained Hood cut no corners and you're still relatively new at vigilantism. It's only by the grace of God that Hood hasn't left you to bleed out on a roof.

You kick his shin, but Hood turns on the instep and blocks. You go for his shoulder, where his armor separates to give him more movement. But Hood's ready for that too, and he catches your arm.

"Gotta keep that right arm up," he says. "Surprised no one's trained that outta you yet."

You elbow Hood in the throat. He coughs and lets go.

"Like that?" you ask, muscles tense with adrenaline.

Hood makes a sound that might be a laugh, still choked from your hit. "Just like that, honeylove. Good job."

"I don't need feedback," you snap, immediately going back in for another hit.

"Sorry. I'll make this quick then. I do have a delivery."

On the next strike, you advance, using a technique Nightwing drilled into your head for bigger opponents. Hood goes down and you land atop him.

"Oh, that's a Nightwing takedown if I've ever seen one," Hood says beneath you.

You're close enough that you can hear his breathing through the decoder. Pride swells in you at taking him down. Not even Batman has managed such a thing.

Hood is warm and big. His shoulder span alone dwarfs you. When you'd seen him from afar, fighting Batman or Nightwing, you'd been terrified.

But now, perhaps stupidly, you feel comfortable. Annoyed, but safe. Something about him reminds you of home. Makes your stomach flip in a good way.

Which is terrifying.

"You're coming with me," you say, reaching for your cuffs.

"If only. Unfortunately, you've forgotten a teensy weensy detail, dearest."

Hood bucks you off, legs first. Your feet fly into the air, which allows him to flip your positions. You wince, preparing for a concussion upon impact as you go down. But Hood cushions your fall and neatly rolls you over. Your back is pressed into the concrete, hands locked over your head. Hood's weight holds down your hips and legs.

He looms over you, easily holding you down. Your face grows hot.

"How did—" You squirm in his grip. "I had you!"

"Weight distribution, sweets. Tell Al—one of the Bats to add weight to your boots. They keep you light on your feet, but you were depending on them too much to hold me down, and we ain't evenly matched there."

You thrash in his grip. "Hood, I swear to fucking—"

"Easy. Don't sweat it, sweetheart. You haven't been doing this for very long. That was a good takedown, regardless. I'm impressed."

"Screw you."

He hums. You can tell he's smiling under the helmet. "Sorry, I forgot. You don't like feedback."

Hood strokes the inside of your wrist. You aren't sure he's aware he's doing it. His grip is firm but light. He's not trying to hurt you. Your pulse is in your throat.

For a moment, you're both still. Hood seems caught in a trance, like even Superman couldn't tear him away from this moment. From you. And it's not that you're afraid, you're just... you're...

"How do you know so much about me?" you blurt, because it's puzzled the whole team. "You been spying on me?"

"'Course not. Unlike your boss, I respect privacy. No, I did research. I recognized you from when you'd hang around that second Robin. Shrimpy little guy. What'd ya even see in him?"

The grief overtakes you before you can control your mouth.

"You don't know anything about me or him," you spit. "Don't fucking talk about him. He had more skill and goodness in his pinkie than you'll have in a lifetime. And you could learn a thing from him about changing a city. He'd tell you that fear alone never works."

Hood is quiet for a long moment. Then he speaks.

"Where's your distress signal?"

"Why would I tell—"

Hood shifts over you, cutting off your reply. He pulls a ziptie around your wrists. They're not even a little tight. You could probably slip out of them if you had five minutes.

"I know you're not s'posed to be out tonight," he whispers in your ear. "'S not your patrol night. Good thing you're my favorite."

You nearly swallow your tongue. "How do you—I don't—"

"Uh-huh. So you be good from now on, yeah? Wouldn't wanna have to keep tying you up like this."

You lift your chin. "We'll switch positions soon enough."

Hood snorts. "Okay, I know you heard how that soun—"

"I heard it," you say grumpily. "Just get on with it. Jerk."

"As you wish. Distress signal?"

"Collar."

Hood presses the button under your collar. Your breath hitches as his gloved fingers graze your neck.

"Oh? Does somebody like getting pinned down?"

"In your dreams."

Hood laughs. He zipties your ankles last, then sits you upright against the railing.

"Not too tight, are they?" he asks. "I know you've got a circulation problem."

You squint. "You seem to know a lot about me. Not fair that I don't know much about you, Hood."

"'S just business, honeylove," he says, scooping up his duffel. "Now I don't wanna see you in a suit anymore, comprende?"

"Or you'll what? Shoot me?"

Hood pauses, eerily still. He turns those glowing white eyes upon you. Your heart picks up.

"No," he says, so serious it startles you. "But someone else might. And I don't want you to face the same fate as your good friend Robin."

He vaults over the railing before you can respond. Your head thunks lightly as you lean back and wonder if you're really just business to the Red Hood.

(pt 2)

[purefrickingspite]

There's finally a threat that the justice league can't handle themselves, and Danny's grown pretty attached to this world so he's not gonna let them get hurt, even if it means revealing himself a bit more.

He ends up going full eldritch like one moment there's a shitty superman cosplayer the next there's just eyes and mouths and it's growing bigger. The Justice League is horrified. Whatever they were fighting is horrified. It tries to run and Danny just straight up eats it.

And then suddenly the shitty cosplayer is back, just standing there pretending that was normal.

The Justice League was trying to track him down because the costumes were endearing and they wanted to make him and official member. Now they're tracking him down to figure out what the fuck that was.

Danny arrives in the DC universe and, for one reason or another, decides to help fight some bad guys. But he doesn't do it as Phantom or Fenton, oh no. He doesn't want either of his identities to get mixed up in all this nonsense and get traced back to him. So what does he do?

Crappy cosplay.

He's in Metropolis and Superman needs a little help? He's showing up in a blue tee with a paper superman symbol visibly tapped on the front. He's wearing blue jeans with red boxers over them. He's wearing a cheap mask of Supe's face that was clearly bought from the dollar store.

He's in Gotham? His cape and cowl is a curtain duck-taped into a barely passable hood with paper for the mask and toilet paper rolls for the ears.

Wonder woman? It's some kind of swim suit, put over his clothes mind you, and he has a wig that is clearly made of a mop.

He's showing up in bootleg merchandise, clothes that are the wrong color, accents that are made of paper and visibly taped on, armor that is made of cardboard and tinfoil, literal undergarments on the outside of his clothes, symbols put backwards or upside-down, costumes that generally look like he put them together in five minutes.

At some point, it becomes some sort of game amongst the Justice League to see who the cosplayer will dress up as next. They have a betting pool to see who's the next one to be cosplayed.

[geraldmariaivo]

What if we combine the concept of Danny being Bruce’s bio kid, and the concept that Danny can’t be the ghost king just yet, so he’s the prince and someone else has to be the official regent? Because that then opens up the possibility of Bruce randomly being summoned every time someone tries to summon the Ghost King because as far as the realm is concerned he is Danny’s parent, and they’re asking for the ghost King, not the ghost Queen.

This could lead to scenarios like:

-Cultists trying to summon the ghost king only to summon Batman.

-Cultists trying to summon the ghost king only to summon Adoptions Georg Himbo Bruce Wayne

-Batman being in the middle of a meeting at the watchtower only to suddenly be whisked away to a slumber party full of teenagers who didn’t expect this to work, and are 100% sure they didn’t do it right because how the fuck else would they get Batman?.

-Bruce Wayne getting yoinked all magic-like in the middle of his own gala, only to show up two days later with torn clothes somewhere wildly far away.

-Ra’s and Talia fairly reasonably assuming that Damian is the prince of the afterlife because Talia fucked the ghost king, and Ra’s being mad that he had no idea about any of this. -Bruce having a fucking aneurysm because he can’t figure out why the fuck all these attempts to summon the ghost king end up summoning him, because he can’t remember doing a single thing that would earn him such a title.

-The rest of the batfamily desperately trying to figure out when the hell Bruce became the ghost king.

-Alfred preparing a post-summoning kit/routine because sometimes Bruce gets sent back, and is both very disoriented and definitely not allowed to go on/finish patrol afterward.

-Finding out he has a son he didn’t know about because a ghost came up to him and told him to get his feral child under control.

[rhiaemrys]

All of those Batfamily de-aged fics, but like, they’re all in their "Trouble-Maker Era". This is primarily to create as much chaos as physically possible, and potentially cause Batman a stress aneurysm.

Like, Dick Grayson, going from a relatively well adjusted (for a vigilante which isn’t saying much) to a tiny crazed 8 year old Robin who is ready to Fight God or die trying. He keeps perching on chandeliers, throwing stuff at people and hitting Damian over the head every time Damian mentions hes Robin.

Jason Todd, who was a well settled Red Hood. Little murder, but mostly having fun with the outlaws and saving the world. Now is an angry recently resurrected 19 year old bent on beating the Bat up. Currently he's gone to the wind. No one knows where he's at, but once something blows up they'll use that as a triangulator.

Cassandra Cain, who already is a stubborn shit at the best of times but has learned to compromise more and more over the years, is back to the homeless child that Bruce found during No Mans Land. She only trusts Bruce and Duke and is utterly willing to wreck anyone else who gets close to them.

Tim Drake, who has found his calling as whatever call sign he chooses, is now launched back to “All my friends and family are dead or think I’m in desperate need of therapy (which I am but god forbid I admit that), I think I’m a little insane with grief so let me traverse the entire world and work with one of my adoptive fathers greatest enemies to find him” Red Robin era. He's been holed up in his room running the calculations that this is a doomsday scenario since he got back from being de-aged.

Stephanie Brown (who, unlike the rest was smart enough to run for the hills when the magic user appeared, yelling out that this one is for the idiot boys, but unfortunately got waylaid by Cass), is now a new Spoiler who is spoiling to fight Batman barehanded because he said that she should go home.

Duke is back to the Robin War gang era and along with Dick, ready to Fight God. Hes got like, fifty makeshift weapons at one time and ends up teaming up with Cass.

Damian, currently Robin and doing very well in the role, is now back to the newly acquired child stage where he’s attempting to prove himself to both sides of his heritage. He ends up being terribly endearing to Bruce solely because, even if it's only partial, at least Damian sticks around for the whole lecture when the crew gets in trouble (he's only doing that so he can find loopholes).

It concerns Bruce how many of these literal children are either down to murder or take out their siblings should said sibling Attempt To Murder.

[brucewaynehater101]

the empire starts noticing that their baby emperor will often be more than a little banged up when he comes to see them in person and they are very worried for their baby, competition to be the imperial physician is fierce but also very stressful for the ones with the position because humans aren't exactly new in space anymore but they're not precisely common either. The position of imperial chef and other positions that concern taking care of the emperor and the imperial consorts is even fiercer.

Previously the empire more or less figured that this mysterious "earth" where their baby emperor makes his primary residence is fairly peaceful and a safe place for him to grow. However, stories finally reach the empire, which started very far from earth and very out of the way of any earth related gossip, about constant invasions that target earth and the general chaos that earth faces on a day to day basis. In hindsight for the empire it makes sense that their baby emperor is from such a dangerous world since he himself is very dangerous despite being so young and adorable. No wonder he's been able to handle their own broken infrastructure and the increasingly large responsibilities that they've put on his little shoulders. There is guilt and there is horror that babies are facing this and, again given their relative condition when they visit the empire in person, obviously they are not being properly cared for.

Finally a delegation from the great Red Bird Empire (robins are an earth species with no equivalent in the empire but there are lots of birds and the color red is known) goes to earth, they arrive in their finest discowing formal fashion to petition the protectors of earth to allow a small group of them to make a base on earth to assist their royal family who has taken refuge on the jl protected planet. They are not there to battle anyone or anything. They are there to make sure their emperor and his consorts are fed, have proper medical attention, and access to an appropriate wardrobe as befits their stations. They might also try to persuade their emperor and his consorts to visit the empire in person more often. While he does a fantastic job of governing from a distance (and at this point Tim has arranged things so he really barely does anything except when a new planet joins and each planet is basically self governing) they miss C4 actually being there.

JL internally freaking out a little because apparently they've had an alien prince? princess? king? goddess? emperor? a royal alien family? somewhere on earth for ages and there could have been a huge diplomatic incident if anything had happen to this royal family, like the family being crushed by a falling building during one of superman's fights, or hit by a tsunami, or earthquake, or even just a stupid speeding car. JL is under the impression that the imperial family on earth fled this empire at some point because of political upheaval and this is a group of imperial loyalists that's only just now gotten enough power to come keep a proper eye on the hidden royals. JL is now worried about alien assassins after the hidden imperial family. At least some part of the JL would like this imperial family to leave earth please.

Based on the delegations costumes, at least one member of the league suspects that the hidden prince of the empire is Dick. This is further supported when the imperial keeper of the wardrobe somehow finds out about Discowing and fawns over Nightwing and goes on about their impeccable fashion sense and how they are revolutionary in the field of haute couture.

Batman may have a small aneurysm when he learns that the alien delegation first thinks to set up in his city. Tim might also panic a little because no, that's too dangerous for them! And instead the Kents suddenly have new neighbors on the farm next door. The Kents are also now on the list of suspected royal family of alien empire even though Ma and Pa are definitely human. Somehow the JL absolutely misses Tim and his life partners visiting the alien delegation and none of the C4 is going to actually admit to anything if they can help it. The delegation is also perfectly happy to keep their mouths shut about the identity of their emperor because it amuses their emperor and also admittedly amuses them. The delegates are frequently rotated with other people who fill their various positions, they set up a schedule, so they can return to the empire and compete to maintain their position as imperial caretaker or end up losing their position to someone else or so they can renew their credentials or even just spend time with their families back in the empire.

Fudge. The choas, miscommunication, and both the delegation and C4 being on board with messing with the JL are precious. Essentially, it turns into various members pointing at each other in suspicion. "Are you the hidden royal family?"

In particular, what do Arthur, Diana, J'onn, and Starfire think about all of this?

I'm also glad the delegation decided to rotate the position on earth. It's like a seasonal job.

I wonder how Ma and Pa Kent feel about their new neighbors. Can they even eat pie?

I'm curious what type of systems Tim sets up for the worlds. It's groovy that he's set the worlds up to be essentially self-sufficient. He probably helps them establish connections, rules, trade routes, etc. for interplanetary trade outside of his empire, but otherwise has set up free healthcare, housing for all, welfare systems, etc.

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

The safety on his gun was turned back on with an inaudible click as Jason let the tension leak out of his body.

It wasn't often that someone broke into one of his safe houses, especially one that he hadn't used in a while, so seeing as some of his silent alarms went off he raced over ready to put a bullet in some wannabe robber or maybe a goon sent by another crime lord trying to start something.

Instead he found a prime bat adoption bait sitting in the living room floor, bare stomach pressed to the side of a ginormous egg. It didn't look like any egg hed ever seen either with midnight blue fuzz covering the whole thing. "Hey kid."

The kids head whipped around, startled by a strangers voice. "Who are you?" He asked incredulously, hugging the monster egg closer to himself, "How did you get in here? This place has some serious security."

Jason gave a short laugh, "Yeah, I know. I'm the one who put it there." He watched with mild amusement as the color drained from the kids face.

"You're the apartment owner? I thought he was supposed to be some big scary crime lord!"

"I'm not scary to you?" It wasn't uncommon for people to be intimidated by him. He was, as Steph put it, 'built like a fridge'.

The adoption bait stared into his eyes for a few torturously long seconds before simply saying, "No."

Huh.

"So, whats up with the egg?" He asked, trying to change the subject.

"Thats my line, Todd." A voice said from across the room. Both him and the little intruder snapped there attention to the window where Robin was perched. Jason fought back the urge to chastise the little bat for using his real name seeing as he was out of costume at the moment. After all he was here as Jason Todd, normalish civilian man who came to see why his house was broken into, not Red Hood. Jason almost wished with was some goon working for a big bad even if it would have meant his secret identity was busted, he would have been at least dealing with that instead of Damians inevitable animal custody battle with the kid. Speaking of which.

"Hey kid, whats your name?"

"Danny Fenton." The kid-Danny, tilted his head. "I think."

Robin raised an eyebrow, causing his mask to sift with it, "You think?"

Danny nodded, "Yeah. Got blasted with something a few weeks ago and I don't remember much before that." His grip on the egg had loosened a bit and Robin chose this as he time to strike. Bird boy tried to lift the egg up out of the intruders impromptu blanket nest, but seemed to have misjudged the weight of the egg that was as big as both children's torsos and Danny was swift to take back his egg.

"What do you think you're doing?! Thats mine!" Egg dad hissed.

"Tt. I will be better able to care for the creature. You should just hand it over now. Do you even know whats in there?"

"No! Neither do you!"

Jason knew Robin couldn't refute that so he chose now to step in, "Where did that thing even come from?

He watched as Dannys scowl turned into a beaming smile as he told them about how he was hiding behind a dumpster for warmth when this egg just fell out of the sky and with quick thinking, managed to catch it with a bed of ruined pillows from a recent villian attack. "So you can't take my dragon egg away. I'm the only reason it didn't become a failed street omelet." Danny held his hands on his hips while giving Robin a smug look.

Before the demon brat could say anything or, more likely, try to wipe that smirk off the other kids face, a new person swooped in through the window. "You think its a dragon egg?"

The kid seemed unbothered by the Batman questioning him and just replied with, "Yeah! Look how big it is! Its gotta be a dragon!"

Bruce looked like he was about to have an aneurysm, "You found a large egg of an unknown, potentially supernatural creature and decided to incubate it?"

"Yeah!"

Jason decided he liked this kid.

[batarella]

Bruce's Bathtime - Batfamily Sitcom

Bruce's mistake was thinking he could have a peaceful night in the bath on his day off when his manor is full of kids who share one brain.

A/N: HELLO EVERYONE I LOVE YOU AND IM SORRY I DISAPPEARED BUT I WANTED TO WRITE SOMETHING SWEET FOR YOU TO ENJOY. THIS IS HEAVILY INSPIRED BY "BATH" BY SAM AND MICKEY ON YOUTUBE.

WORDS: 1.7K

WARNINGS: NONE. IT'S WHOLESOME AND SWEET.

MASTERLIST

——-

Crime rates were always at an all-time low in time for the Superbowl.

Which meant Batman gets a day off. Duke was the only one on patrol that night. Alfred spent half an hour convincing him not to spend the night at the cave.

“Master Bruce, the bath has been drawn and I’ve taken the liberty of using the expensive lavender bath salts so you would not like to waste it.”

“You’re right, Alfred. I’m a billionaire and I find the fifty-dollar lavender salts a waste to not use.”

“Just get in the bath, Master Wayne. Just thirty minutes of quiet shall do you good. I’ve set an alarm.”

Since when did Bruce start working for him?

He did as told anyway. Bruce closed the bathroom door and stripped off his clothes to get in the tub. There were so many callouses in his body, he barely felt just how burning the temperature was.

It was just a minute in there when the first knock woke him from drifting off.

“Bruce?”

What the hell is Dick doing out of Bludhaven? “What?”

“Is the music room haunted?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“I heard something inside.”

“Instruments tend to do that.”

“I did a headcount of everyone in the manor and everyone is accounted for except Duke who you sent out for patrol so I doubt it’s anyone but a ghost,” Dick said.

“Get out.”

“But I’m not even inside the bathroom.”

“Go away.”

“What if it’s not a ghost? What if it’s a spy?”

“The manor has more advanced security systems than the Pentagon, Dick.”

“That’s not a good point of comparison.”

Bruce closed his eyes and let the steam slow his rising blood pleasure.

“Just check the room. Could have been the wind.”

“I’m too scared.”

This man was almost thirty and was still giving Bruce the same amount of aneurysms as when he was eight.

“Ask Alfred to check for you.”

“Okay.”

He heard fading footsteps and let them lull him into sleep. He set his large arms onto the sides of the tub, sinking his mouth under the water.

“Father,” a voice said from out the door followed by three soft knocks by a small hand.

“What, Damian?”

“I need you to sign this letter from the school headmaster.”

“What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.”

He doubted that.

“It’s for a parent-teacher conference.”

Bruce let the silence answer for him until Damian gave in.

“Someone attacked me in class.”

“Damian-“

“Okay, I threw the first punch but he taunted me first about how I was small for my age but I said that I’m of perfect size for my age and that I’m simply too smart to be crowded into elementary school children when my intellect belongs to that of a senior and then he asked what I was doing here and not in 5th grade and I said what was he doing here and not in 5th grade and he spat at me and now his nose is broken and they want you to cover the medical bills.”

Christ.

“Maybe you don’t have to pay it. You can call them yourself. You’re Bruce Wayne. You can get away with anything.”

“I can, but you’re not Bruce Wayne, so you have to deal with it.”

“Can you just sign this, Father?”

“Fine.”

Damian walked in, fanning the steam off his face and covering his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see his own father naked, then handed him the letter to sign it.

“Make sure your handwriting is the same as when I forged it.”

His eyes could not have rolled further back into his skull.

The boy walked out, just two seconds before the next set of voices made him wish the gunman shot him in the head four decades ago and not just his parents.

“Bruce, could you tell Jason he’s not the only one who died and come back to life and that his robin costume doesn’t deserve to have to top display in the Batcave anymore especially since he’s here?” Tim said.

Jason’s voice was even more obnoxious. “I died first, asshole and no one else would have died if it weren’t for me so clearly, you should thank me. And my rebranding was better. You’re still technically a robin since, you know, it’s the other half of your name, so you don’t deserve to be memorialized.”

“You don’t deserve to be memorialized at all when you’re alive and not a memory. You’re not even the first robin.”

“You’re not the first anything.”

“I’m the first at a lot of things.”

“Replacement.”

“Glorified zombie.”

Bruce grabbed the cucumbers Alfred had laid out on the table next to him just so his eyes wouldn’t burst out in blood at how much he wanted to scream.

“Ask Alfred what to do,” Bruce said.

“Alfred is with Dick in the music room to look for ghosts. We need an answer now.”

“What do you even want me to do?”

“Tim threw my robin costume piled up with all their robin costumes when clearly, it should be in the display case,” Jason said. “And Tim wants to move my motorbike out of the cave.”

“You have so many motorbikes, would it hurt you to move just one?”

“No.”

“Bruce!”

Bruce counted to ten. “No.”

“No to what?”

“Everything.”

“You don’t even know what you’re saying no to.”

“I could not care any less.”

“Can we please come in?”

“No, I’m naked.”

“We’ve seen you naked.”

“Not on purpose.”

Jesus fucking Christ. “Fine. Fine. We’ll get glass cases for both of you and we’ll pretend it’s a shrine as if you’re still dead. Happy?”

“Not from dying but sure,” said Tim.

“What about the motorbikes?”

“Put it outside,” said Bruce.

“Are you sure? What if someone sees?”

“Do whatever. Throw out the T-Rex in the cave for all I care.”

“Also, I need access to the batcomputers,” Jason said.

“For what?”

“Everyone else has access except me.”

“That’s for a reason, Jason.”

“Pretty please.”

“Get out.”

It took another five minutes of the two yapping at the other side of the door before it finally quieted down.

Then his phone started ringing. Duke.

That was when his blood pressure really started to spike.

“Duke? Is everything alright? What’s wrong?” he said to the phone.

“Me?” said Duke. “Oh yeah everything’s great! Not much crime when everyone’s watching the halftime show.”

“Then why’d you call?”

“Can I use the batmobile?”

Fuck a duck. “For what?”

“The streets are empty and you said I could drive it when there isn’t traffic.”

He hung up and threw the phone into the water before Duke could say anything else.

He had five minutes of quiet this time. Then Steph was at the door. “Bruce!”

An aneurysm. One of these days, he might actually have one.

“What now?”

“Can I change rooms?”

“Why?”

“Dick said there’s a ghost in the music room and my room is like five feet away and I don’t think I can sleep there anymore.”

“You slept there last night and everything is fine.”

“Ghosts can be quiet, Bruce, it doesn’t mean they’re not there. And you’ve made a lot of enemies, so I won’t be surprised if anyone’s settled in to haunt you.”

You’d think he wasn’t in a house full of vigilantes who fight the city’s most dangerous criminals.

“I haven’t killed anyone, Stephanie. I keep all my enemies alive.”

“What if it’s not your enemy? They don’t have to hate you to haunt you. Can I please just change rooms?”

“Move wherever you want. I don’t care.”

“Can I move to the bedroom at the west wing?”

“That’s mine,” Bruce said.

“You have a bedroom? I thought you never slept.”

“Fine. Take it. Just get out.”

“Really?” Steph squealed. “The master bedroom. Sweet!”

It took less than five seconds before the next reason for his headache started pounding at the door.

“Bruce! Jason is trying to hack into the batcomputer!”

“I did not!”

“He did!”

“The World’s Greatest Detective is just mad I guessed his password on the second try.”

Bruce sank into the water, drowning their yapping until it had blurred out. He held his breath for seven minutes straight. He could die. That wouldn’t be the worst thing. Just when it was finally quiet, again, Bruce rose up and found Damian sitting on the toilet.

He continued to look unbothered even when he looked at Bruce straight in the eye.

“Do you mind?”

“I’d like to use this toilet.”

“There’s fifteen bathrooms in the manor, Damian.”

“I like this one.”

“I understand I have not spent as much time with you, but this is not what your tutors mean by father-son bonding.”

“Oh no, don’t worry. I don’t mean to bond with you. I just like this toilet.”

“Fine. Please. Take your time.”

He did take his time. Damian sat there for a whole five minutes and pulled out a book.

“I wasn’t being serious. Get out of here.”

“Relax, father. It’s your day off.”

Bruce eyelids fluttered closed and he refused to open them until his son left the bathroom.

The next knock made a blood vessel pop. “Bruce. It’s me Barb. So sorry to bother you but I found another group of conspiracy theorists on the TikTok who made a list of billionaires who have never been seen in the same room as Batman and you’re the front liner of that list. I know you told me to never engage with these things but it’s at fifty million views right now and they’re making edits of you as Batman.”

“Make more bot accounts and pin it on Elon.”

“On it,” said Barbara. “So sorry to have disturbed you!”

He’s going to have a talk with Alfred to block off the whole floor the next time he draws these baths.

“Bruce?” It was Cass. “I hope it’s alright if I take Steph’s room. I took the liberty of putting a speaker in the music room so Dick would tell everyone there was a ghost in the manor and Steph would move out.”

The alarm went off. His thirty minutes were up.

 One of these days, Bruce might finally break his no-kill rule, and it won’t be for the Joker.

---

A/N: I MISSED ALL OF YOU ASSHOLES AND I HOPE THIS WON'T BE THE LAST

TAGLIST

@karurururu​  @trixie-bb @childofposeidonforlife​ @fantasticwizardnerd @iibonniee @queenoftodd​ @foenixphire​ @omgtheywereroommates98​ @spooklies​ @nyja-ls​ @jason-todd-is-my-husband @pieanq​ @spookyfrances​ @tacticaldivine​ @bathroom-sand​ @vicomtess​ @willieoo @consultingkilljoywinchester​ @elsenthal​ @willowoo​ @massiveathletefanauthor @chemicalpapercuts​ @the-abyss-of-fandoms​ @pparkeramorr​ @pricetagofficial​ @traceymoyashi​ @seutarose @littleredwing89​ @astrids-pandora @nomalu1​ @knightfall05x​ @lovelyartemisa​ @fourteengemstones @acookiesnmilkuniverse​ @24-7-multifandomsimp​ @xemiefx​ @cherry-glade​​ @ @lilith1717​ @yujikuna​​ @dwboutit17​​ @ouflater​​ @satan-s-ass​​ @indigowcrds​​ @little-prying-pandora​​ @butwhyduh​​ @killersandmonkeys​​ @kierdlt​​ @illzarr​​ @ramdomtails @probsjosh​​ @angel-lover-alice​​ @evalynanne​​ @adazzlingsakura​​ @offendedfishnoises​​ @lupinslibraries @comic-cat83​​ @jason-todd-is-my-husband @estrela-rogers​​ @jadesublime​​ @tedii-bear00​​ @andieperrie18​​ @willieoo @insanebatty​​ @queennightsetz​​ @mkknrd22robinlover​​ @she-sees-fire @quintessences0posts @spideypoolfeelz​​ @batgalsblog​​ @mello-d​​ @https-101iamtheredhood101 @offendedfishnoises

[kaidatheghostdragon]

Starefire is liminal

Correct me if im wrong, but she got her starbolts from unethical alien experimentation, right? What if the experiment was exploring ectoplasm and liminality? Ergo, starfire's starbolts are actually ectorays.

There are so many possibilities to explore. Does she know she's liminal or the nature of her starbolts? Do the GIW clock her as a ghost instead of an alien? Do they hunt her down or monitor from a distance because she's too high profile?

Does the justice league learn about the giw through their interactions with starfire, and only discover phantom as a side effect? Here we can run the full gamut of possibilities, from phantom just starting out, or phantom successfully protecting an entire off-the-radar city (not something ive seen very often), to phantom post-capture, or bad reveal and in hiding.

Also, when i first thought of this idea, i immediately considered the similarities between starfire and jazz, especially if jazz is a fire core liminal with flight and ectoblasts. I was kind of considering a plot where a video of the giw hunting jazz is released on the web, but the video goes viral with the title of "fashion police attack starfire" or something. Jazz deliberately played up the similarities she has to starfire (makeup, costume, and everything) and tucker deliberately released the video in a way that would get past the censors and catch the justice league's attention. It was a desperate ploy that the entirety of team phantom was in on to get help when the giw escalated to hurting civilians, or captured phantom, or some other emergency.

Then, as the league investigate the starfire impersonator, they discover all the monitoring the giw have done on the real starfire (that team phantom might or might not know about) to confirm that she's liminal, and the plans theyre devoloping to quietly capture her.

It would be equal parts angsty and hilarious if the Justice League destroyed the GIW without ever identifying the impersonator or discovering amity park and phantom. Maybe batman only discovered them months later while trying to close up loose ends? Idk, its an idea. (I kinda wanna avoid the whole "summon the ghost king" subplot, if for no other reason than the fact that its been overdone?)

OTOH, the league could be doing a very thorough internal investigation to figure out how many of their members are "ecto-contaminated" according to the giw's tech, and the magic users would have to step in and explain things if batman tries to take the "contamination" at face value and try to purge it. Once they explain the concept of liminality and how they can sense it from most members, batman is simultaneously unsurprised that most of the league is "death-touched" and nearly having an aneurysm because they never thought to explain this sooner.

To add a bit of crack at the end, after the justice league has thoroughly destroyed the giw and figured out all their own existential crises (and still havent discovered who the imposter was), THAT'S when "perpetual pot-stirrer" Phantom shows up on the watchtower all like, "yes, you have passed all of my tests and reacted appropriately to the information of liminality. I will now deign you with my presence and give you many blessings of the ghost king. You are also now allowed to visit amity park. Treat these privileges with wisdom and temperance." (As if he's NOT a superpowered teen desperately looking for like-minded peers and unconditional acceptance.)

[docgold13]

Heroes & Villains The DC Animated Universe - Paper Cut-Out Portraits and Profiles

The Royal Flush Gang

There have several different iterations of the criminal outfit known as the Royal Flush Gang.  The gang was originally formed by The Joker after he recruited a group of five young adults possessing metahuman powers.  These individuals had been experimented on by a shadowy facet of the United States military and the experience left them each traumatized, angry and easily manipulated by The Joker.  

Fashioning them with costumes evocative of playing cards, The Joker dubbed the quintet his ‘Royal Flush Gang.’  He then organized a complex attack on Las Vegas that was meant to draw out and engage The Justice League.  Following a tremendous battle, The Justice League managed to defeat most of the gang yet the whole ordeal was revealed to be a ruse orchestrated by The Joker to garner a huge television audience.  With so many people watching, The Joker then unleashed the most powerful member of The Royal Flush Gang: Ace.

Young Ace possessed reality-altering powers and her hypnotic gaze could induce vivid hallucinations, ultimately lead to irreversible madness.  The Joker hoped that scores of people watching on would be driven hopelessly insane.

Fortunately, Batman was able to demonstrate to Ace that The Joker was manipulating her; that he was no better than the governmental agents who had made her childhood so unbearable.  Ace turned on The Joker, rendering the Clown Prince of Crime into near catatonia. Ace then left and released the audience from her influence.  

The youngster returned some time later.  With her powers evolved to the point where she could warp and reshape reality, Ace recruited a second Royal Flush Gang armed with powers she bestowed unto them. And yet her new gang proved no fun so she sent them to battle the Justice League and the foes were soundly defeated. 

Ace’s powers continued to mount and she came to realize that it would all result in her experiencing a fatal cerebral aneurysm.  Batman comfortable the frighten youth as her final moments came and Ace passed away peacefully in the Dark Knight’s arms.   With her death, reality was restored and the rest of the gang reverted to their natural forms.  

The title of the Royal Flush Gang would later be taken up by new criminals who maintained successive iterations of the gang far into the future.  

In a wink to the broader fanbase, The Royal Flush Gang were each voiced by the cast of the Teen Titans animated series. With Khary Payton voicing Ten; Greg Cipes as Jack; Hynden Walch as Queen; Scott Menville as King; and Tara Strong providing the voice for the tragic Ace.  

The Royal Flush Gang first appeared in the twenty-eighth episode of the second season of Justice Leagues, ‘Wild Cards Part I.’  

[sapphic-agent]

I go on Twitter and I feel insane.

You can tell which MHA have never read a superhero comic book in their life or have no media literacy. Ah, yes. Midoriya, who's CLEAR inspirations for his character, is fucking BATMAN. BATMAN, who is really compassionate and one of his flaws is caring too much, Batman who still considers Harvey Dent/Two-Face to be his best friend, and who out of all people had compassion for the fucking JOKER, in The Killing Joke, one of the best Batman comics out there and MHA fans are like "Whooo! Go Midoriya on killing Tenko!" I need MHA hero stans to watch Batman: The Animated Series and read The Killing Joke and an essay that's 51 pages long as to why they are wrong. As Midoriya says, killing Shigaraki doesn't fucking solve ANYTHING. If you just kill him, then there's just gonna be another Shigaraki who was groomed into the symbol of fear. That doesn't mean he shouldn't get consequences, good Lord, but y'all are missing the point. But apparently so does Horikoshi.

Always avoid Twitter and Reddit, no matter the fandom. At least here you can a) filter out the content you don't want to see and b) expect some people to have media literacy since it's, y'know, a blog site. But I'm so glad you brought up Bruce, especially his DCAU iteration.

Any fans of Justice League and Justice League Unlimited have seen the episode Epilogue. And in it, there's actually a flashback of how the interactions between Izuku and Shigaraki should have hit.

Ace was a girl born with meta powers taken by an early incarnation of Cadmus. She could drive anyone to insanity just by looking at them. They kept her prisoner and used a collar to make her docile and weak. She was part of the Royal Flush Gang and in her second appearance, her powers were going to give her an aneurysm and kill her, which her powers could have responded to, killing everybody.

Amanda Waller sent Bruce in to use a collar that would kill her before it happened. Bruce went in, but never intended to use it on her (which she knew because of her powers). Instead of taking the easy option of killing a little girl who had been used and abused all her life, Bruce sat with her and kept her company until her death.

(I'm crying just remembering this scene btw)

That's how you write meaningful hero and villain interactions. The DCAU is especially good at doing this, from Batman: The Animated Series to Justice League Unlimited (GO WATCH IT PEOPLE).

Explicitly making it legal for heroes to kill villains was such an awful choice on Horikoshi's part. The heroes in MHA are already glorified celebrities with no sense of justice or honor. And they can't make arrests.

If they can't make arrests and it's legal for them to kill, it just pushes them towards violence and brutality instead of apprehension. The MHA system is so fucked in so many different ways and it was never addressed. MHA should have been a dystopian story, but that would have required a competent writer