#Batman Speaks

[the-next-right-thing]

If Riddler can reform and be rehabilitated so can the rest of you villains

[imthegdbatman]

Can you finish this lyric? Tobey Maguire got bit by a spider

But see, me, it was a Bat

[flyrobinflyy]

NOBODY FUCKING MOVE.

[allthegothihopgirls]

i think this is the most normal brother moment they've ever had

[sasstrash]

Yeah

[imma-dragon53]

You’ve heard of “justice league doesn’t know Batman has kids”

Now prepare for “the Team doesn’t know Batman is Robins dad”

[oifaaa]

It's funny how opinions can change over time for instance I used to want Bruce to be a good parent but then I realised how fucking boring that is to read at the end of the day comics are soap operas and I'm here for the drama

[stealingyourbones]

This is definitely a miscolor by the colorist but why is Bruce buttass naked studying the xenomorphs

[versasfanficwastedump]

more Dad Things that Bruce Wayne definitely does:

makes the kids hold the flashlight when he’s working on the Batmobile and yells at them when they don’t do it right

makes lots of weird gross dad noises (groaning, hacking, etc)

snores like a fucking freight train. like seriously, there should be a noise warning on his bedroom door

snack tax in the car!!! reaches his hand back and does the little grabby thing

“when was the last time you changed your oil”

gives the worst directions

“so you’ll pull out of here and go north about three miles—“ “what the hell are you saying to me”

gets to the airport five hours before the plane takes off (it’s a private plane, it’s not leaving without him)

this is more of a mom thing, but he gasps like he’s just been stabbed when someone wakes him up

*whispering* “B…B…Bruce” “HEUEUH. What.”

Texts “Call me now.” and when the kids do, assuming something horrible has happened, he’s like “what should we eat for dinner tonight.”

on the other hand, he also forgets to tell the kids very important information

“how’s it going, B?” “not much just recovering from my wrist surgery last week” “your WHAT?!”

(that just happened to me. thanks dad)

[tiger-grace]

Wayne Gala Event in which Jason is still publically deceased:

Journalist: Would you say you’ve been trying to fill the void that grieving your second son left with all of the new children you’ve adopted over the years?

Bruce, staring at Jason “legally dead” Todd, inching away from the snack table with half of its contents: uh. I would definitely say there is a void being filled.

[not-timdrake]

love nightwings late night tweets

[rewrittenwrongs]

Tim starts a Tumblr account and posts ‘incorrect quotes’ for all the bats, only they’re not incorrect they’re all actual conversations/sentences they’ve had, and he gains a huge following super quick because every line is pure gold. Barbara is the first to find out and agrees to help keep the secret, then it’s Stephanie who either gains access to the account or starts writing fanfic abt the batfam that includes all these details that line up a bit too perfectly with the truth because it’s hilarious, then Duke who thinks it’s genius and either still makes them buy his silence or starts drafting posts for Tim that he said with/to civilians and/or alone on patrol. Then Dick finds out because one of the Titans shows him this funny blog they found and he recognises almost every post, so he starts looking into it just as Tim starts posting Young Justice and Teen Titans ‘incorrect’ quotes too, and they have to blackmail him into silence.

When Bruce finds out he demands Tim delete the account, and instead Tim posts the entire conversation.

[imthegdbatman]

did you leave again?

PC was broke for a couple of weeks, and I don't really use the mobile app.

[everwalldigan]

Ok but Bruce’s “batglare” except it has specific stages that mean you’re in varying degrees of trouble. Allow me to elaborate:

Level 1: isn’t even really considered a glare in Bruce-speak, more of a suspicious squinting

Level 2: standard Disappointed Dad look, the most you’re gonna get is a reprimand

Level 3: resting Bitch face. Less of a glare and more of a sharp look that WILL follow you around and creep you out

Level 4: worried batglare, features aren’t as sharp as with the standard batglare. Usually smooths out when his kids/teammates stop being idiots and putting themselves in danger

Level 5: standard batglare, regular criminals are usually at the end of it, most of the kids have gotten pretty used to it

Level 6: You’ve Fucked Up. Expect a screaming match or a lecture of at least 30 minutes. Also you’re grounded

Level 7: full batglare on steroids, makes grown men piss their pants, usually reserved for the joker. Most of the kids have received it only once and that was MORE than enough for them to never want to receive it again

Level 8: Alfred.

[allthegothihopgirls]

bruce is so flabberghasted because he hasn't gotten this much attitude and talk-back since dick was robin

[1seaweedbrain1]

seeing posts about batfamily characterization and why one way is wrong or another is and im just like. can we just say we have favorites? bc most of these guys are built from decades of different writers and different ways of existing so fucking obviously theres gonna be different versions of the same character.

"bruce is a bad father" yes he is he found out red hood was jason and tried to lock him up, he made dick fake his death, he was neglectful of tim

"bruce is a good father" yes he is he gives jason chance after chance, he hugs dick when hes overwhelmed, he took tim in as his own

"jason hates tim" "tim hates damian" "dick is a bad sibling" yeah but also no, depends on what youre reading and what you want to see

the thing is with old ass characters and so many series and universes you arent going to be able to get one solid version of any of them. canon accurate characterization with comics is mostly what you make of it so can we all chill the fuck out about whos an asshole and who isnt bc i promise you at some point both have been true

im not saying that you cant be upset at the characterization, personally dicks gets on my nerves sometimes, but i am saying that ive seen 6 posts that all start the same way and make good points but they all contradict themselves. have your opinions but stop saying that yours is right and true when it is not the only true.