#Basgiath War College

[justascrollingghost]

I just imagine Tairn and Sgaeyl narrating Xaden and Violet’s love life like they do on Big Brother -

Tairn: It’s 8:34 in the Basgiath murder college and the silver one is pretending she’s not about to mount the wingleader over her cereal

Sgaeyl: It’s 9:05 in the Basgiath murder college and the wingleader is pretending he’s not about to combust because the mind reader smiled at silver one

Andarna: IT’S 10AM IN THE BASGIATH MURDER COLLEGE AND IM STILL COOL AS FUCK

[saintsanddevils]

Unravel Me

Liam Mairi x Fem!Reader

Summary: Grief is your constant companion as you struggle to come to terms with losing Liam. You can’t handle the memories, so you ask Imogen to take them away.

Warnings: ‼️18+ (MDNI) explicit content‼️, smut, grief, death, blood, some violence, angst, ALL HURT/no comfort, first person reader pov

Author’s Note: This is probably my fav story I’ve written so far! Liam is my favorite of all of the Fourth Wing men & I’ve been dying to write this for so long. - also, every person who has checked in on me about burnout, thank you, you’re incredibly kind & I appreciate all the love!!

Word Count: 8.6K

AO3 link

Masterlist

• • • •

The stone archway is the only thing keeping me from collapsing to the ground. I lay my back against it, trying to keep myself standing. Breaths saw through my lungs in jagged, sharp inhales. A knife cutting through me from the inside out.

Storm clouds form in the sky above, ominous in the setting sun. The smell of wet stone and soil fills the air as I try to still my racing heart.

It’s been one month.

One month.

Four weeks.

Thirty days.

Seven hundred and twenty-two hours and counting since Liam has been gone.

Knees shaking, I close my eyes, breathing deeply. But the breaths come quicker and faster. The image of Liam’s broken, bloody face surfacing unbidden. The way his blue eyes frosted over before closing, his skin cracked and pale as he slumped against Deigh’s red scales.

Rough, uneven breaths escape me. Thunder rumbles the ground beneath my feet, the summer air chilled by the cool of rain. Each breath clouds around me as I stand beneath an arch, facing the open courtyard.

The very courtyard where I first met Liam.

I remember the way his eyes lit with a teasing gleam when they first met mine. He was playful, flirtatious, but his eyes captured me. Like crystal glass, filled with murky seawater shining in the sunlight. I’d never seen such a blue.

The memory stings, sharp and insistent with its presence. Since his death, I’ve been left with nothing but every memory I have of him. Each one imprinted upon me, unique and shining. How he smiled, fully and entirely intoxicating, when I entered the room. The way his skin glided against mine between sheets. The feel of his calloused hand gripping my own. His lips coasting mine, teasing, before claiming them for his own, stealing the breath in my lungs.

Every day since his death has been my own personal hell. Waking up, alone, forms a hollow ache within my chest that grows with every second. I never want to leave my bed.

For the first week, everyone grieved alongside me. But we’re in the middle of a war. We can’t waste any time.

Only the pestering of my squad mates and the force behind my dragon’s insistent encouragement force me out of my room now. Although they try to hide it, they’re concerned for me. I act like I can’t feel their penetrating gazes, but it’s suffocating.

Every day is suffocating.

Distantly, I hear someone call my name. With my eyes closed, I can pretend I’m not here. I can pretend he’s alive. I can pretend I will find him standing before me, smiling, when I open my eyes. That he’ll tell me I worry too much and he’ll kiss the rain from my cheeks and lips.

When I open my eyes, it’s not him standing there. It’s Imogen.

Concern lines her face as she stares at me. “I’m so sorry. I can’t.”

Tears burn my eyes as the rain begins to fall harder. Overcome by a heaviness crushing my ribs, my knees start to shake. I can’t tell if I’m holding on to the wall or if it’s the one keeping me up.

“Please,” I beg, voice cracking. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t wake up tomorrow with this pain,” I grip my chest, swallowing the grief threatening to choke me. “It’s like a living, breathing thing inside of me. It’s poisoning me. I…I can’t do it anymore.”

Sobs escape from my lips, gasping and heaving. I must sound like a tortured animal as I collapse to the ground, cracking my knees against the stone. The pain grounds me as I slump against the wall.

This pressure on my chest, the one that settled there as I watched Liam limp towards Deigh a month ago, is stifling me. It’s growing more and more, crushing my lungs, severing my breaths as I cling to the stone beneath my fingers.

I completely forget Imogen until she’s stepping towards me. She watches the tears fall from my eyes, shared sorrow evident in her posture. She, too, knew Liam well. They all did. It wasn’t just me who lost him.

But she knows what he was to me. What I was to him.

I don’t know what convinces her. Maybe it’s the tears. Maybe it’s my pathetic whimpers. Or maybe it’s the hollow look in my eyes as grief consumes me. All I know is she’s staring at me with concern and hesitant understanding. And I cling to that like a lifeline.

“Okay,” her voice sobers me from my tears.

A shaky breath. Another.

“Really?” My whisper is broken in the space between us.

She nods slowly. “I’ll do it. But you have to know what you’re asking me to do.”

I nod back, aware of her hands as they clench and unclench at her sides.

The idea came to me last week when a cadet mocked Violet about losing her “guard dog”. Violet flinched and, suddenly, there he was. Xaden was a feral, untamed thing as he hurled himself at the cadet.

It should’ve been me. I should’ve hurt that dumbass cadet. I wish it had been me as I watched Xaden deliver blow after blow on the cadet before being thrown back by Garrick. My knees and hands were shaking as I watched him be crowded against the wall, restrained as the injured cadet ran down the hall like a fucking coward.

Grief is something that’s different for everyone. I think the only person who knew an ounce of what I felt was Xaden. He lost not only a friend but a brother. He loved him.

And as I stood there, staring as Violet calmed Xaden, I had known this grief would pass for him. It would haunt him forever, but it would scar over. He would heal because he had Violet. He had Garrick and Imogen and Bodhi.

I had Liam.

A steadiness settles in me as I meet her gaze. “I know what I’m asking.”

She closes her eyes, briefly, as if debating if this is worth the risk, before raising her hands towards me.

“You need to stay perfectly still,” she instructs, kneeling before me. “I’m not going to lie to you. This will hurt like hell, but the pain won’t last long. It should fade, along with the memories you want me to erase.”

I nod as trepidation and nerves slowly creep up my spine, causing my hands to shake. I clench them, steeling myself. Forcing determination to settle on my shoulders.

Imogen settles herself before me, waiting for my signal before touching the skin of my temples. The pink of her hair is darker in the low lighting, thunder gradually fading in the distance as rain continues to fall.

“Are you sure?” She asks, voice hesitant.

A flash of Liam’s smile has my gut twisting. Liam used to say that love was something he never thought would happen to him. That love was a fairytale.

After almost a year of being together, he whispered with shaky breaths, “I’ve never loved someone like I love you. You’re the other half of something I didn’t know was missing. Something so tied within me, I feel you always.”

I’d gripped him tightly, clinging to him as I kissed his collarbone, neck, all the way up to his jaw. “I feel you, too.”

He shook his head, lips brushing my ear. “Don’t you think it’s terrifying that at any moment, it could be gone? I could lose you?”

I’d given him reassurances. False promises.

I didn’t know I’d lose him so soon. I didn’t know loving him would become a curse.

Wanting something I can’t ever have again will kill me. I can’t do it anymore.

“Yes,” I answer Imogen. “I’m sure.”

She hesitates, only for a moment, before closing her eyes. I close my own, letting the rain wash my doubts away.

Pressure builds behind my eyes, steady and gradual at her fingertips. I can feel her presence in my mind.

“Start from your most recent memory,” she says. “And slowly go further and further until you reach the oldest one.”

I pause, my heart racing frantically in my chest as I immediately recall the last time I saw Liam.

“No!” I scream, but it’s too late.

Deigh slumps to the ground, motionless.

Blood drips from my hands as I run towards Liam, whose eyes meet mine in wide panic. I watch him stagger forward, limping, before collapsing to the dirt.

I’m there, holding him up as his body begins to slump. Xaden appears, helping me, but I barely glance at him. My entire focus is on Liam’s shallow breathing.

“Take me to him,” he whispers roughly, chest rising and falling jaggedly.

We help bring Liam to Deigh. My shaking hands cling to him as we settle him against the red scales of his dragon. Xaden lingers beside me as we both kneel before Liam, whose gaze is fixed on his friend.

“You’re the brother I’ve always wanted,” he smiles. “Don’t forget where you came from. Who you are, and who you’ll become.”

Tears well in Xaden’s eyes as he nods.

I feel like I’m intruding on a moment between them, but I can’t bring myself to leave Liam’s side.

“I-“ he swallows, gaze fixated on Violet behind us. “I hope I did enough-“

“You did,” Xaden smiles, tears now falling down his cheeks. “You did everything you could and more.”

Liam nods, tears in his own eyes. Xaden leans forward to hold him, one last time.

Liam mumbles something to him I can’t hear before Xaden backs away, back towards Violet. I catch Xaden looking at me, guilt written across his features, but I don’t acknowledge it. I can’t waste any second we have left.

Liam finally, finally, meets my gaze. His jaw clenches as he watches the tears streaming down my skin. His fingers reach up, wiping them away. I lean into his hand on instinct, forcing myself to memorize the way his calloused skin feels against mine.

“I don’t know how to say goodbye,” I whisper.

Liam’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Then don’t.”

He pulls me forward, kissing me with his last breaths. I don’t hesitate. I kiss him with every fiber of my being, knowing I won’t have this for much longer. The feel of his lips will stay with me until I, too, meet Malek at the end of this life. Where I hope he waits for me.

When we part, I lean my forehead against his, breaths sawing through me like a serrated knife’s edge.

“I-I can’t lose you,” I gasp.

His skin is pale, almost gray-tinted, as his fingers softly touch my cheek. “You won’t lose me forever. I’ll see you again.”

A sob escapes my lips before I kiss him again. “I love you. Always.”

Liam’s smile is full of sorrow as he kisses me back. “I’ll love you beyond my last breath,” he whispers against my lips.

His fingers suddenly caress the back of my head, tilting my face to look up at him. There’s a severity in his eyes as he stares down at me. “Every moment we have had is something I’ll cherish long after I’m gone. I’ve never felt so lucky,” he kisses the tip of my nose, the top of my cheeks. “Whatever becomes of me, my soul,” a tear falls from his eye as his gaze holds me captive. “I’ll always be with you.”

I turn my head to kiss the palm of his hand. “I’ll always need you.”

“Not always,” he shakes his head. “I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“Live,” his smile is beaming as blood trickles down the side of his head from an open cut, staining his blonde hair. “Live and forget me.”

“But-“

“I want you to grow old, live a full life. Fight to live beyond whatever this war will bring.”

I shake my head. “How am I supposed to forget you? You’re all I have.”

“No, I’m not. You have so much to live for, don’t let me stand in the way of something greater ahead of you.” I try to refute, but Liam silences me with another kiss. “You’re the one thing in my life that’s made all of this worth it. For that, I’m grateful for the time I was given with you.”

A whimper escapes me and Liam holds me, breathing me in.

“I kept my promise.” He kisses me once, twice.

In the space between us, we breathe together. I hold my hand to his chest, feeling the rise and fall. One long, deep, shaky breath, a whisper of my name, and he stills.

Silence crowds around me, choking the air as I weep into the skin of his neck, holding him close. A scream builds in my throat as his body grows cold beneath me. Rage rises like a tidal wave within me, numbing the pain.

They’ll pay. Every last Venin will die for this. For what they took from me.

I’m covered in sweat, blood, and dried tears by the time the sun sets and the Venin are defeated in Athebyne. For now.

Flames reach towards the sky, flickering and grasping for the stars. I grip my sword, Liam’s sword, tightly in my hand. Blood trickles down my skin across the blade as I stare into the fire.

Liam’s body burns atop the pyre. Ashes scatter in the breeze as everyone stands to watch. We all lived, and it sickens me. We survived, and Liam, the best of us, didn’t.

Bitterness settles next to the grief. It burns like acid in my gut. The last thing I remember is Violet’s hand gripping my own in comfort.

“You’re not alone,” she whispers.

But I am. I’m entirely alone.

The memory is ripped from my grasp, leaving me gasping, heaving, as the ache in my chest burns.

Before I can steady myself, I’m thrown into another.

Arms wrap around my torso, pulling me close to a firm chest as dim light filters through the arched windows.

“Good morning to you, too,” I whisper, groggily.

A breathy chuckle against my spine has my skin prickling. “Morning, love.”

I bask in the warmth of his arms, the feel of his muscles flexing against my skin as he kisses my shoulder. He hums, continuing kissing up my shoulder to my neck, shifting my hair to kiss up my jaw. I shiver, as his fingers trail down my torso to my hips, pulling the hem of my nightdress up my thighs.

“Liam,” I breathe.

I feel him smile against my ear as he nips at it. “Yes, love? Need something?”

His fingers trail up my thighs, leaving goosebumps in their wake. When his calloused hand reaches the edge of my underwear, Liam’s lips caress my bottom lip.

I whisper against him, “I need you.”

“Whatever you want, I’ll give you,” he smirks before his lips collide with mine.

He kisses me with a lazy, unhurried pace. As if we have all the time in the world.

I shift in his arms, gaining better access to his mouth as I tangle my tongue with his. My fingers dive through his hair as his own slip beneath the lace of my underwear. His skin is warm and rough against me as the tips of his fingers glide across where I want him most.

“Already wet for me, darling?” He growls into my mouth.

I moan as his fingers sink inside me, pumping agonizingly slow. He continues to tease and caress as I melt in his arms. When his thumb rubs smooth circles around my clit, heat begins to prickle at the base of my core. I’m already climbing to my peak, heaving and gasping breaths as he pumps his long, thick fingers in and out, gaining speed the more I moan his name.

“You’re intoxicating,” he groans as he bites my lip. “I fucking love waking up to you like this. Soaked and ready for me.”

A gasp falls from my lips just before he pinches my clit. Light flashes beneath my lids as I cry out, fire blazing up my body as I fall into the rhythm of his fingers. I pulse and squeeze around him as my hands grip onto him tightly. When I come down from my climax, a pounding on the door has me jolting.

“Don’t make me break this fucking door down!” I hear Xaden’s voice yell.

Liam groans, slumping against me. “Shit.”

The bed shifts as he rolls off the bed, covering me with the blankets before throwing open the door.

“What?”

There’s a pause before I hear Xaden’s low chuckle. “Sorry to disrupt your morning, but we have to leave.”

Liam’s shoulders tense. “Now? What happened?”

People are running in the hall, shouts echoing off the walls that force me to sit up, staring in confusion at the chaos.

“Get dressed,” Xaden commands, all amusement gone.

“What’s going on?” Liam asks again.

I can see Xaden’s jaw clench as he stares at his foster brother. “They’re calling us down to the flight field. War Games.”

Liam’s grip on the doorframe whitens his knuckles. “How many minutes do we have?”

Xaden hesitates. “Less than ten, but you need-“

“We’ll meet you on the field.” Liam slams the door shut.

When he turns to me, his eyes are blazing like blue fire. He stalks forward, standing at the edge of our bed. His hands shoot out and drag me to the edge, making me squeal. His fingers tear the lace from me, leaving me bare before him before forcing my legs open. He’s kneeling as I sit up, watching him as he leans forward to lick up my slit in one swift, precise movement. I groan, head falling back as I buck against his unyielding grip.

“But we have to go,” I gasp when he does it once more.

His voice is rough and gravelly as his lips caress my heat. “Guess I have to make every second count.”

The memory fades, like the burning of paper. Ashes scattering in my mind as pain radiates up my spine, throbbing at my temples. I bite my lip to keep myself from screaming as the pressure builds.

My head pounds as I’m thrown further, another memory crashing over me.

“Fuck, baby, that’s it,” Liam groans against my ear, pumping deep into me. “You’re taking me so well.”

I whine, shifting my hips to meet him with every thrust. He hits inside of me deliciously, stars dancing across my vision as his hands hold my waist, pressing me into the sheets.

An urgency fills us as we stop pacing ourselves and chase that fire slowly burning beneath our skin. It races in our blood as our skin slicks with sweat, breaths gasping.

Liam shifts his hips upward on the next thrust, making me moan into his collarbone.

“Gods, do that again.”

Liam smirks, blue eyes glittering when they meet mine. “As you wish.”

The memory warps, lost to time, as I’m thrown further, again and again, into one memory after another and another.

The mat presses against my cheek as Liam holds me down. I can tell he’s holding back since his weight isn’t entirely crushing me.

That’s a mistake he’ll surely regret.

I twist my legs, elbowing him in the face as I throw my weight onto him. He rolls, falling to the mat as I climb atop him, my elbow pressing into his throat to cut off his air supply. My legs hold his arms down to keep him from moving.

He struggles for a moment, but the shining pride in his eyes is what causes butterflies to flutter in my stomach.

“I love it when you throw me around,” he chokes out. I raise my elbow slightly to lessen the pressure on his throat.

I chuckle, leaning forward until we’re inches apart. “You like it when I make you do what I want?”

He smiles. “Keep looking at me like that and I’ll beg for it.”

Paper crumples in his hand, frustration steeling his jaw as he throws it at the wall.

“Stop,” I say, reaching for his clenched fingers. “Stop blaming yourself. It won’t do anything good.”

His hard eyes meet mine, immediately softening. “I don’t know what to do,” his voice is broken, hushed. “I wish I could find her, hide her, take her as far from this as possible.” He shakes his head, closing his eyes. “Sloane doesn’t deserve this life.”

Bringing my hand to his cheek, I force him to open his eyes. “You can’t change the future just as you can’t change the past,” I give him a small smile. “She’ll be okay, Liam. She’ll have us.”

Liam’s gaze holds mine as he breathes deeply. We sit there, suspended in time, as he grips me with shaking hands. I know he’s fighting tears as much as he’s fighting the urge to throw a punch at the wall. But with me here, he slowly begins to calm.

When he grabs my hand laying on his cheek, he kisses it. “I guess I should be grateful she’ll finally meet you.”

I smile at the idea. “I hope she likes me.”

He grips me tighter. “She’ll love you. Besides,” he leans forward, inches from me. “She’ll have to since she’ll be putting up with you for a very, very long time.”

I raise a teasing brow. “How long will that be for?”

“If it’s up to me,” he breathes against my lips. “For the rest of our lives.”

The sunset flickers across the horizon over the distant mountains, casting the room in a dim, fading gold light. It refracts off Liam’s eyes, making the blue iridescent, as he smiles against my lips.

“Will you stay?”

I smile back, nipping his bottom lip. “Always.”

“I-I don’t want to wake up alone anymore.” He hesitates, swallowing. “Move in here with me. Share my bed and steal my blankets. Get dressed with me every morning. I don’t want to waste a moment without you next to me. Make this room both of ours.”

Tears gather in my eyes as warmth fills me, settling in my chest.

I kiss him recklessly, leaving us both breathless as I whisper, “Gods, I love you.”

He laughs, shaking his head. “You have no idea.”

Two cadets with fowl breath and malice in their eyes crowd around me. My heart beats wildly in my throat as I back away. Their hands sharp and insistent as they push me to the corner of the hall. Their hands locked on my wrists to keep me from running.

“Get. Your. Fucking. Hands. Off. Her.”

The words cut through the air like a knife laced with venom. It startles the men, who bolt upright to turn and see who spoke.

Liam’s face is a mask of fury as he strides down the hall. The second our gazes collide, he unleashes himself on them. He throws a punch at one of their faces, knocking them against the wall. The other, he tackles into the brick, cracking the back of the cadet’s skull. He groans as Liam throws punch after punch, blood spraying, before throwing the man to the ground. The other cadet is there, stumbling forward and hurling himself at Liam.

I scream when I see the flash of a dagger. Liam catches it within seconds. Being the best of our year has its benefits as he twists the blade out of the cadet’s grip and stabs it to the hilt into his arm. The cadet’s eyes widen, blood trickling from his mouth as he screams, falling to the ground.

The other cadet bleeds next to him, panting.

“What the fuck?” He groans.

Liam stands, blood soaking his clenched fists at his sides as he stares them down. “You touched her, tried to hurt her, you even scared her.” He shakes his head. “You don’t get to live after that.”

The cadet Liam punched over and over again is now trying to crawl away, but it’s too late. Liam is there, hauling him to his feet and holding him against the wall by his throat.

“Liam,” I whisper, fear rattling my voice.

He stops. Everything stops as he lets go of the cadet and turns to me. He’s there, holding me as he quickly examines every inch of exposed skin.

“Yes, love? Did they hurt you?”

I shake my head. “No, I’m f-fine,” I step closer to him, cradling his bleeding hands in mine. “Just please get me out of here.”

He nods, not even sparing them a second glance as he whisks me out of the corridor. We walk quickly until we’re outside in a courtyard. Under a stone arch he stops, pressing me against the wall as he holds me close.

“You looked so afraid,” he whispers in my hair. “I-I couldn’t handle it. Did-“ he hesitates. “Did I scare you?”

“You could never scare me,” I hold him tighter as the lingering fear begins to fade. A warmth settling in me from his close proximity. A sense of rightness at the feel of his arms around me.

He pulls back, looking me over once more. “If those fuckers laid a finger on you-“

I smile softly. “You stopped them before it got worse. I’m alright.”

He nods, forehead touching mine in defeat as his shoulders sag, releasing all the pent-up tension inside of him. “If I wasn’t there, if things were worse, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. Who I’d become.”

I burrow into him, letting his warmth chase every horrible thought away. “But you didn’t lose me. You won’t.”

Liam shakes his head. “I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“Promise me you’ll fight. You’ll fight till your last breath to stay alive, to see the next day. I can’t-“ he swallows. “I couldn’t live knowing I could’ve saved you. But I can’t always be there.”

“You don’t need to be, but I’m grateful you were there today,” I press closer. “I promise to fight and not give up.”

He nods, satisfied. Silence envelops us as the night breeze whistles through the courtyard.

The moon shines on his blue eyes, making them almost silver as he says, “And I promise to fight for you, too. To love you and keep you safe. Till my last breath. You can hold me to that.”

Music floats through the air as Liam holds me close, hands intertwining as he guides me to an alcove covered in shadows. I stifle a laugh as we race through the corridor. We ignore the shouting taunts from Ridoc and Sawyer down the hall as they head back to the party.

Once we’re out of earshot and covered by the dark, Liam presses me against the stone of the alcove. He doesn’t waste a second. His lips are on mine, holding me captive. He’s insistent and intoxicating as he consumes me with just a kiss. He smells of liquor and desire, making me feel lightheaded.

His rough fingers drag the fabric of my dress up as his lips begin to trail down my jaw, neck, and chest. Before I can protest, he’s kneeling, throwing the fabric up to expose my legs to the cool night air.

“Liam!” I whisper-shout. “Someone will see!”

Liam raises a brow. “Then you better keep quiet.”

He grips the back of my leg, tossing it over his shoulder as he disappears beneath my dress. His breath is hot against my skin as he licks up my inner thighs.

I bite back a squeal as he moves my underwear out of the way, fingers toying with my skin.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ve got you.”

“Liam-“ I’m cut off by the feel of his mouth kissing my heat. His tongue diving deep inside me, causing me to throw a hand over my mouth, stifling a moan. My knees begin to buckle but he holds me in his firm grip, keeping me standing as he continues to twist his tongue deep inside, feasting on me.

I’m delirious with want as he continues to eat me out, thumb caressing my clit lazily. Pleasure spreads up my body, curling around my spine. My hips rock against him, pressure building and building before-

“Liam,” I gasp against my hand as my climax hits me, hard and fast. His fingers and tongue prolong my pulsing as I come all over his mouth. It feels like an eternity before my body gives out, sliding against the stone.

“Gods, I love the way you say my name,” he groans against me. “Especially when I fuck you.”

Liam stands, shifting his hands as I hear the sound of a buckle. Before I can calm my racing heart, he grips my thighs and holds up my legs to wrap firmly around his waist. I obey and immediately suck in a breath. The head of his cock is poised at my soaked entrance.

He suddenly leans forward, surprising me with a kiss on the tip of my nose. My heart swells before he finds my lips, kissing me. It’s consuming, claiming. Leaving me breathless and wanting.

“I love you so much, baby,” he says before pushing into me, stretching me. We moan together, breaths intermixing, as he bottoms out.

Using the wall as leverage, Liam adjusts me so my hips are at the perfect angle, his hands holding my ass firmly before he begins to thrust. My nails dig into his shirt as he hits me just right. This angle allows him to sink deeper and deeper, causing gasps to fall from my lips like whispered secrets.

He stops the sound with his mouth on my own, swallowing my moans. I taste myself on his lips and tongue. It’s incredibly erotic and fills me with immense pleasure as he thrusts harder and harder. I bounce against the stone, clinging to him for dear life as he begins chasing his own pleasure. I’m already climbing with him, breaths sawing through my lungs as I feel myself chasing another orgasm.

“That’s it, baby,” he coos. “You’re incredible.” He hisses as his cock hits me just right. My inner walls fluttering around him as he pumps faster. “Fuck, that feels-“

He groans just as his hips piston into me, wild and untamed as he releases inside of me. I’m right there with him. Like a flower bursting open in the sun, warmth burns through my body at the sensation. I don’t even care if anyone hears us anymore, I’m moaning his name loud enough to echo off the walls as I gyrate against him.

When we both finally come down, we’re twitching and panting, giving one another tired, lazy smiles. Liam towers above me, breathing heavily as he kisses my forehead, my temple, the corner of my mouth.

“Gods, you’re insatiable.”

I laugh before wiggling in his arms, causing his still-hard cock to sink further into me. He moans at the sensation.

“Another round?”

He laughs with me. “You don’t have to ask me twice,” his hands are firm on my wrists as he holds them above my head, trapping them against the cool stone. “As you wish.”

The stars are bright above the flight field as Liam and I lay back in the grass. It prickles the skin of my hands as a breeze flutters over us. The distant sounds of crickets and a nearby river fill the quiet. Both of our dragons lie close by, their sulfuric breathing filling the silence. We’re far away enough from them to feel as though we’re entirely alone.

Liam’s arm is close to mine as we lay, looking up at the constellations.

“What did Ridoc say to you earlier when we were leaving the gym?” I ask quietly. “You seemed annoyed.”

Liam’s breath hitches, his chest stilling. I feel his arm tense as he tries to slowly breathe out, almost like he’s calming himself.

“He, uh, just wanted to know about something.”

That piques my interest. I raise a brow. “About?”

Liam is quiet for a moment. “He wanted to know if you were single.”

“Oh.”

The silence is suddenly suffocating. The presence of our dragons makes this feel incredibly awkward, as if we have an audience. I can feel the weight of my dragon peering at us, like the gossip she is. I ignore her.

I don’t turn to look at Liam as I bite my lower lip. It’s been months of this constant flirtation. Months of tension that’s been building and building but I can’t tell if he’s just incredibly friendly with everyone or actually wanting a relationship with me. It’s driving me crazy.

Liam’s the type of guy who anyone can love and I hate how I’m one of them. How I’ve completely fallen for someone who probably only views me as nothing more than a friend.

A shaky exhale escapes me as I try and compose myself. “What did you say?”

Liam scoffs. “I told him to go ahead and ask you out.”

I startle, eyes wide and heart beating out of my chest as I turn to look over at him only to find he’s already staring at me. There’s a gleam of satisfaction in his eye as he watches my reaction.

Anger rises, sudden and quick. “Did you just say that to see what I’d do?!”

Liam shrugs before winking. “Just making sure you’re not interested in him.”

The anger dies as quick as it arrived. But my heart continues to pound, nerves sparking in my gut. “Why?”

Liam is suddenly leaning close, breath fanning over my face. He smells of mint, earth, and something so familiar, I ache to be closer to him. “I told him to go fuck himself. That you’re mine and he’d end up with a broken nose on that pretty-boy face of his as soon as he even spoke to you.”

My breath catches in my throat, a squeak escaping my lips. Liam’s mouth twitches at the sound.

“Who said I’m yours?” I whisper, unsure and entirely too hopeful for my own good.

Liam’s smile is beaming and brilliant. “You were mine the second you punched Jack in the throat after parapet.”

A laugh bursts out of me, startling the quiet of the night. Liam joins in, but his gaze is heavy and insistent on me.

“He deserved it,” I huff.

“He did,” Liam’s smile is contagious as his fingers move a piece of hair behind my ear, lingering next to my cheek. “But I also knew when you told me I’m just another big asshole at Basgiath,” he winks.

I roll my eyes playfully. “You came on too strong from the second you met me.”

He shrugs. “Didn’t want anyone to steal you away from me before I got the chance to sweep you off your feet.”

I raise a brow. “And did you?”

He lays his hand against my cheek, no more hesitating. “Depends on if you’re truly mine or not.”

I lean into him, eyes closing. “I’ve been yours for a long time, Liam.”

The nighttime breeze wraps us tighter together as he leans in and kisses me. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt his lips on mine and it sends a spark of fire down my body, lighting every nerve like a firework. I’m electrified, lighting up the night sky as he kisses me like something fragile and precious. Something worth having.

“I love you,” I whisper against his lips.

He startles, pushing himself away before he’s suddenly hovering above me. A smile that rivals the brightness of the stars shines on me as he leans down, our noses touching.

“You love me?”

I nod, my nerves fluttering as he reaches out to caress my cheek. I’ve never seen him so soft, so gentle. No one would believe how trusting, caring, and loving he can be. But only I see it. Only with me does he let down his walls.

He’s kissing me again, but this time, he’s no longer holding back. He’s not gentle as he bites my bottom lip, sucking it between his teeth. I moan as his tongue surges into my mouth, claiming me. I’m lost to the feel of him as his hands tangle in my hair, pulling my head back to gain access to my throat.

Against my skin, he whispers. “Gods, I’ve been wanting to hear you say that for so long.” He licks a strip of my skin, biting my pulse, before sucking my clavicle. “Fuck, I love you so damn much, I’ve been going insane with wanting you.”

My breath hitches as his fingers trail beneath my leathers, finding the skin of my hip. He presses me into the grass as he finds his way back to my lips. Kissing me once more.

Time seems to hold its breath as we kiss under the stars, uncaring of what the next day may bring. All we have is this moment, clinging to one another and sighing with relief. I’ve never felt so happy in my entire life as Liam looks down on me with such adoration.

When he suddenly sits back on his knees, I pout up at him. He shakes his head, laughing as he holds his hand out.

“Come with me.”

He pulls me up with him off the grass and starts racing towards the school.

“Where are we going?” I huff, trying to keep up.

Liam’s grip is unwavering as he turns back to look at me. “We only have a few hours till sunrise and I need all the time I can get to show you just how much I love you,” he winks.

Warmth rises up my neck to my cheeks, making him smile wider as he pulls me after him towards Basgiath.

“Is something going on between you and Liam?” Violet asks.

I startle, choking on my drink. Rhiannon snickers as she pats my back, helping me. Once I can breathe, my eyes betray me. I automatically find Liam across the dining hall, talking with Xaden and Garrick. His face is tight with tension and concern as his hands clench beside his plate. When his eyes meet mine, as if he can sense me, the tension is immediately gone. He softens. A smile playing on his mouth as he nods to me, saying good morning.

I nod back, warmth filling my gut before I avoid Violet’s inquisitive stare and go back to eating. “Nothing’s going on.”

Rhiannon snorts. “Sure. And nothing is going on with Violet and Xaden.”

Violet stiffens next to me. “There’s nothing-“

Rhiannon holds up a hand, stopping her. “Don’t fight it, Violet. It’s way too obvious.”

Violet glares at her best friend, causing me to laugh. I catch Liam glancing at us from the sound.

“It’s just as obvious with you two,” Rhiannon presses.

I prickle at their interrogation. “What do you want me to say? We’re just friends.”

Violet shakes her head. “Friends don’t look at each other the way he looks at you.”

I stare at her, brows pinched. “What do you mean?”

Violet glances at Xaden’s table and smiles. “Like that.”

I whip my gaze back to Liam to find him staring. He doesn’t look away when I meet his blue eyes. There’s an underlying intensity in his stare, something heavy and wanting. It leaves me breathless and trapped, wanting more than anything for us to be alone. To finally tell him how I feel. To see if maybe, just maybe, the lingering stares and touches and late-night talks are more than just friendship.

I break away first, staring down at the broccoli on my plate with sorrow climbing its way up my sternum. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Violet throws her hands in the air, clearly exasperated. “Gods, can’t you guys just shut up and make-out already!”

Her voice echoes around the table and I freeze. Closing my eyes, I hope he didn’t just hear her. I hope to every god that can hear me that he isn’t the one whose chair screeched against the floor. That it’s not his booted feet coming towards our table.

“Ladies,” Liam’s deep octave vibrates against my already rattled nerves.

“Oh fuck,” I mumble. I open my eyes to find Liam hovering above me, leaning his hands on the table.

“Morning, gorgeous,” he winks.

I fight the blush rising to my cheeks by curving my nails into my palms. The pain is sharp and helps clear my head.

“Morning,” my voice catches, sounding winded. “Did, uh, you need something?”

I catch Rhiannon smiling at the exchange in my peripheral.

Liam’s hand reaches back to wrap around his neck, showing off the rippling muscles in his bicep as he shrugs. “I was about to head to Battle Brief and wanted to see if you would join me. I mean, since you’re already heading there anyway.”

I nod, butterflies threatening to rise from my gut and fall out of my mouth as I clench my fists beneath the table. His stupid biceps are all I can focus on as his bright blue eyes burn into me.

FOCUS!

I smile. “Yeah, sure,” I turn to Violet and Rhiannon, who are smiling so big and taunting, I want to throw them off the bench. “Are you guys done? Want to head over with us?”

Violet shakes her head. “Oh no, don’t wait up for us. As a matter of fact, I think you’re looking a little chilly though,” she raises a concerned brow. “Do you need my coat or-“

Liam is draping his jacket over my shoulders before she can finish her sentence. I’m startled and staring as his cheeks redden from the attention.

“Ok, we’ll see you guys there,” he holds a hand out to me, waiting.

I turn back to Violet to see a satisfied gleam in her eyes. I glare.

Rhiannon chokes on a laugh as I take his hand, quickly making our way out of the dining hall.

We shove our way through the crowded halls, Liam close by my side as I hold on to his jacket. It’s warm and smells so much like him that I try and resist burrowing my nose into it. Would he think it’s weird if I keep it?

I shrug out of it, not trusting myself or this sudden burst of kleptomania to keep from me stealing it. “Here, I’m not super cold. It’s okay.”

Liam stops me, shoving it back onto my shoulders. “No, I want you to. Besides,” he winks. “You look good in it.”

I hide my blush as we make our way through the crowd once more.

It’s only when we’re at the door to Battle Brief that I realize I’m still holding his hand and he never let go.

Like knotted string, Imogen unravels my mind. Every knot a memory. She pulls and yanks until I’m fraying at the edges. Pain shoots through my veins, burning me from the inside out. A scream slowly builds in my throat as the pain increases to an all-consuming fire.

Just as the pain rises, it falls, like a cresting wave crashing against the shore. And a strange numbing sensation takes over.

A strange hollow throbbing begins to pulse inside of my head. As if something, or many things, are missing. I can’t place it and as soon as I try to recall what’s gone, it whisks away like a leaf in the breeze.

Imogen’s hands are steady on me as another memory, this one golden and bright, surfaces.

“I could show you a thing or two with those pretty long legs of yours wrapped around my-“

A crunching sound echoes in the courtyard as my fist collides with Jack Barlowe’s nose. His head whips back, harsh and startling. I keep my stance, watching and waiting as he whips back around, fury lighting his eyes.

“You fucking bitch!”

My hand shoots out again, this time slamming into his larynx, cutting off the sound in his throat. He chokes, staggering backwards. He falls to the ground, heaving.

The son of a bitch deserves it for pinching my ass and asking me to meet him in the dorms tonight like I’m some sort of whore. I roll my eyes and walk away from him, ignoring the stares that follow in my wake. I didn’t survive the fucking parapet to be groped and manipulated by some jackass.

“Excuse me?”

I whip around, ready to take on another asshole when I hesitate. My eyes widen at the sight of the man before me. He’s incredibly tall and broad. Muscles line his arms, rippling across his skin as if he’s a statue at a gallery. He towers over me with an impish grin on his face. His golden blonde hair a beacon in the sunlight. My heart races in my ears as I stare up at his incredible handsome face.

“You’re in the Fourth Wing, right?” His voice is deep, hypnotic. I could lose myself to the rhythm of it.

I nod, dumbly. “Flame Section.”

He smiles and I feel a strange sense of gravity slipping from beneath my feet at the sight. Gods, he’s beautiful.

But beautiful men often tend to be assholes. Like Jack.

“Me too,” he shrugs. “What’s your name, gorgeous?”

My hackles rise at the compliment. “Why?”

He puts his hands up, showing he’s not a threat. “Hey, I’m just curious. I wanted to know the woman who beat the shit out the biggest asshole at Basgiath.”

I roll my eyes. “All men are assholes here. He just happens to be one of them.”

He cocks his head, leaning forward with a twinkle in his eye. “Am I one of them?”

I step close, glaring up at him. “Most likely, given how you seem to entirely depend on your good looks and charm to get you through your time here. Just like any asshole.”

“You think I’m good looking?” His smirk is intoxicating. “And charming?”

I shake my head. “And apparently brainless.”

He leans closer. “I’ll be whatever you want me to be as long as you keep talking to me.”

My heart gets caught in my throat as I try and swallow. He watches the movement with sharp, knowing eyes. That smirk stretching wider.

“What if I don’t ever speak to you again?”

“You want me to beg, is that it?” His voice is as soft as velvet and it slithers over my skin. “Should I get on my knees for you?”

The image of him on his knees, looking up at me through his lashes, has me jolting away from him. He laughs, which rings through the air like a forgotten melody I only just remembered. It’s frightening how familiar he feels to me.

Annoyance prickles my skin as he continues to laugh at my expense. “You’re just another pompous ass who gets off at the idea of taunting me.”

He shakes his head, his smile never wavering. “Oh gods, you’re entirely wrong. Trust me.” He raises a hand, holding it out to me. “How about we start over, yeah? I’m Liam Mairi and I promise I’m not an asshole. Or,” he shrugs. “Not as big of an asshole as Jack is, at least.”

I can’t help my smile at the words. My annoyance simmers, but something inside of me knows he won’t be like Jack at all. I’ve always been good at reading people and Liam seems like he might actually be the opposite of what I thought he was.

I whisper my name back at him in greeting before reaching out and shanking his hand.

Something golden, like a thread, weaves between us as our skin touches for the first time. Intertwining around the space between our rib cages that has me gasping. It’s familiar, yet frightening. It’s something fragile, but I know it’ll somehow be something glorious. If I let myself curl into it. If I trust it. Trust him.

As I appraise Liam Mairi, I know, deep in the marrow of my bones, that I can trust him. That maybe, just maybe, he’ll become something more. He might be my everything. If I let him.

And that’s the most terrifying thing of all.

As if I’m rising out of water, after drowning for so long and seeking oxygen, I surface from the memories. They fade away with the tide, blinking from existence, as I feel my breath steady me.

Blinking my eyes open, I find Imogen moving back from me. With a quirk of my brow, I stare up at her eyes now brimming with unshed tears.

Why is she crying?

“Imogen?” My voice cracks, roughly, as if I’ve been screaming for hours.

Glancing around, we’re sitting on the stone ground of the courtyard. An arch protects us from the rain. The clouds are dark and ominous above, but I don’t remember coming out here. Weren’t we just having dinner in the dining hall?

Furrowing my brows, I purse my lips. How did we end up here?

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

I whirl to look at Imogen. “What for?”

That’s when I notice the skin of my cheeks are damp. Touching them, I quickly wipe them with my sleeve. Must’ve been from the rain.

“Can we go back inside? It’s cold.”

Imogen is still staring at me as she helps me from the ground. My muscles ache and pinch as if I were sitting for a long time. Strange.

I stretch my limbs and stare up at the dark clouds. “Hopefully we didn’t miss dinner.”

The last thing I remember was heading to the dining hall with Violet. How did I get here without her?

Imogen is silent as she watches me.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

She hesitates. “Nothing. Let’s go back-“

“There you are!”

We both turn to find Violet and Xaden heading towards us. Concern is painted across their faces as they approach.

“Are you alright?” Violet asks, stepping towards me.

I tilt my head. “Yeah, I’m fine, why?”

Imogen flinches in my peripheral, catching Xaden’s eye. He narrows his gaze on her as Violet continues to fret over me.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve been there for you. I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone in this. You never will be.”

I furrow my brows, staring at her. “What are you talking about, Vi? Weren’t we heading to dinner?”

She freezes. Suddenly the quiet is stifling as everyone shifts their focus to Imogen.

“What did you do?” Violet asks, her voice piercing.

Imogen stares at the ground, her eyes brimming with tears again. She doesn’t respond.

Xaden’s dark eyes are heavy on me as he steps closer. He whispers my name like I’m a startled animal and it sets my nerves on edge.

Why is everyone being so cryptic and dramatic?

Violet is the one who steps in front of him, taking my hands in hers. “Do you know who Liam Mairi is?”

At the sound of the name, something strange happens. An echo of something deep inside of me leaves me aching and wanting. I search for what it is that has me feeling this way, but I’m left empty. As if a part of me is missing. As if I’ve been cut up and left to figure out how to pull myself back together again. All I can feel are the ashes of something that used to be there and I can’t understand what it was.

“Who’s Liam?”

Weaver of Fate

[illustratinghan]

are you ready to brave the dark?…because onyx storm is out TODAY! 🌩️⚡️🖤 @/rebeccayarros

time for me to slink off into the shadows and enjoy every second of this book!🙌 (and maybe get my heart broken, who knows…)

follow me on instagram! @/illustratinghan

[yelyahrodrigo]

happy valentine's day to the duke and duchess of tyrrendor

[darkempathgirls]

He is the Moment 🖤🖤🖤

[lighthousepigeons]

Bodhi: I sleep with a dagger under my pillow.

Garrick: Weak. I sleep with two swords under mine.

Xaden: You are both pathetic.

Garrick, sarcastically: What killer weapon do you sleep with, Xaden?

Xaden: Violet.

[aclawthorne22]

Xaden 🤝 Tairn

Making people apologize to Violet in the most humiliating way possible for almost killing her

[azrielsshadows42]

Violet: Tell me not to do something and I'll do it twice and take pictures.

---Later---

Mira: Stay. Away. From. Xaden.

Violet: ...

[lowytavis]

But you're not Xaden - Bodhi Durran x Reader

Warning - love confessions

____

"But you’re not Xaden, and I don’t want you to be fucking Xaden, Bodhi! Why don’t you get that?" she screamed, her voice raw with frustration.

Then, before I could even open my mouth to respond, she slammed the door in my face.

The sharp bang echoed down the empty hallway, leaving me standing there, fists clenched, jaw tight.

My arms were trembling—with anger, frustration, and grief.

“Please, open the door, Y/N,” I pleaded, my voice raw with emotion. But nothing.

No response.

I waited another ten minutes in front of her door, clinging to the desperate hope that she would change her mind.

But nothing happened. No footsteps, no muffled sobs—just silence.

“What are you doing here?” Xaden’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

He was walking down the hallway, Violet tucked securely in his arms.

The sight of them made my anger flare up instantly.

“Why the fuck do you care Xaden? Not everyone can be as fucking perfect as you are.” I snapped, my voice harsher than I intended.

Without wasting another second, I turned on my heel and stormed into my own room, slamming the door shut behind me.

____

(YN POV)

I muffled my own silent cries. Bodhi didn’t need to hear them, and I was certain—100% sure—that he was still outside my room.

A few minutes ago, I heard his desperate pleas, begging me to open the door.

But now? Silence.

Until suddenly, his voice erupted again—but not directed at me.

He was yelling at someone else. Xaden. Great.

Exactly the person who started this whole mess. Well, not on purpose, but still.

Bodhi just didn’t get it. He didn’t need to be like Xaden. Hell, I didn’t want him to be like Xaden.

But that didn’t stop him from trying.

Not once, since we started dating a few weeks ago, had he just been himself.

Before all of this, before us, he was Bodhi.

But now? Now, he wasn’t Bodhi Durran anymore. He was acting like a fucking Riorson.

And it was driving me insane.

From the other side of the door, I heard Bodhi’s voice, sharp with frustration. “Why the fuck do you care, Xaden? Not everyone can be as fucking perfect as you are!”

Then—frantic footsteps. Fading. Leaving.

I let out a sob, loud and unrestrained, no longer caring if anyone heard.

A soft knock followed.

I hesitated, then pulled the door open—only to be met with a confused-looking Xaden and a frowning Violet.

"Hi," I choked out, stepping aside to let both of them in.

Violet gave me a concerned look as she walked in, her voice soft.

"What’s going on, Y/N? I thought you and Bodhi were almost... boyfriend-girlfriend official?"

She muttered the last part hesitantly, like she wasn’t sure if she should say it out loud.

Xaden, on the other hand, just frowned in confusion, dropping into my armchair without a word.

"I thought so too," I sobbed, wiping at my face. My gaze flickered to Xaden. "But your cousin—he’s trying too hard to be a Riorson. To be you. When all I want is Bodhi."

Xaden let out a short, amused chuckle. "He what?"

I exhaled shakily, frustrated beyond words. "He tries to act like you. It’s our fifth date, and things were getting pretty serious, Xaden. But he keeps ruining it by doing shit you would do. Not what he would do. You and Bodhi are polar opposites, but he just—" My voice cracked, and I shook my head. "He doesn’t seem to understand that he is enough."

Another sob escaped my lips before I could stop it.

Violet wrapped her arms around me, holding me in a gentle embrace.

Her voice was soft, almost hesitant. "Is there anything we can do? Anything I can do?"

I shook my head, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"No... but thank you for stopping by."

I hesitated, my fingers gripping the hem of my sleeve.

"Also—please don’t tell Bodhi anything. I... we’ll see how—if—this turns out."

Violet exchanged a glance with Xaden, but she just nodded, squeezing my hand reassuringly.

____

Breakfast was awkward.

Uncomfortably so.

Usually, we all sat together—Xaden and Violet, Dain and Sloane, Ridoc with one of his flings, Sawyer third-wheeling him, Rhiannon and Tara.

And then there was always Bodhi and me. Snuggled up together, even before we were dating. Because we were best friends.

But now? The dynamic had shifted. Bodhi sat at another table with Garrick and Imogen, his back turned to me.

It felt wrong.

Like something had cracked in a place I didn’t know could break.

I must’ve looked lost because Sawyer tapped my side, snapping me out of it.

"Hey, Y/N, scoot down here," he said, smiling knowingly.

I swallowed hard and slid down next to him, murmuring a quiet "Thanks."

Tears pricked at my eyes, threatening to spill.

"Try to hold them in, love," Sawyer muttered, nudging me gently.

His voice was warm, kind. One of the kindest souls I knew—along with Bodhi. And that thought alone nearly broke me.

I stabbed my fork into my food, but I hadn’t taken a single bite. Hadn’t even tried. My stomach was in knots, and I knew—if I did eat—I wouldn’t be able to keep it down.

Bodhis POV

I felt her before I even saw her. The air shifted, thick with the weight of her presence, and it took me a long while to muster the courage to actually look at her.

She slumped in her seat. Not in her usual spot. But then again, neither was I. She sat next to Sawyer, who nudged her lightly. J

ealousy pricked at me, but I quickly reminded myself that she wasn’t mine. Sadly.

She slammed her fork into her food with a sharp *clink*, but didn’t take a single bite.

*Cuir,* I called through our bond, my voice low. *Tell Clover to tell Y/N she must eat.*

*Very well,* Cuir responded. His tone made my skin crawl with a mix of annoyance and something deeper I couldn’t place.

But I didn’t have time to argue with him as the rest of my table began standing up, preparing to leave.

I glanced at Y/N one last time, unable to stop myself.

Our eyes locked for a brief moment.

She held the fork in her hand, but then slowly, painfully, placed it in her mouth. She forced a smile, but the tears welling in her eyes—those were impossible to hide.

And it broke me. 

"Can we talk?" Y/N mumbled from behind me, her voice barely audible.

I was already preparing for the sparring match with Xaden, mentally focusing, tightening my grip on the moment.

''No,'' I said sternly, pulling my shirt off and stepping onto the mat. I didn't look back. I couldn't.

Xaden and I squared off, the fight beginning with each of us pushing and pulling, testing each other's limits.

My movements were sharp, but my mind kept drifting. Every punch, every block, felt empty—like I was trying to fight off something that wasn’t even in the ring with me. 

I could feel the adrenaline coursing through me as I squared off with Xaden.

The mat beneath my feet was slick with sweat, and my muscles were already burning from the intensity of the fight, but I refused to back down.

This wasn’t about winning; it was about control—something I had to find, especially with everything else falling apart.

Xaden moved first, a blur of motion. He swung high, testing my defense. I blocked, stepping back, trying to predict his next move. He was faster than I expected, more fluid than anyone I’d ever sparred with. But I wasn’t going to let him get the better of me.

I jabbed toward his ribs, but he anticipated it, dodging to the side with a grin that was almost too knowing. Damn him, I thought. He was always so composed, like he knew exactly how to push me without breaking a sweat.

I lunged again, this time more aggressively, swinging for his head. He blocked easily, the force of his arm knocking me off balance. My heart hammered in my chest as I stumbled back, trying to regain my footing.

"You need to focus, Bodhi," Xaden's voice came low, taunting. I gritted my teeth, anger flaring inside me.

He was right. My mind wasn’t on the fight. It was on everything else—the mess with Y/N, the tension building between us, the way I couldn’t seem to do anything right lately.

Xaden’s next strike came without warning—a quick jab to my stomach, knocking the air out of me.

I wheezed, vision blurring for a second as I gasped for breath. He pressed the advantage, stepping closer, pushing me into a corner. I tried to push back, but it felt like my body was betraying me. He was everywhere, his fists like lightning, his movements a step ahead of mine every time.

I barely saw it coming. A punch straight to my jaw, hard enough to snap my head back.

Everything around me spun, and before I could even react, I felt the world tilt. The impact from the punch rattled my skull, and in that split second, I was completely out of control. My knees buckled, and I felt the floor rush up to meet me. There was nothing I could do to stop it.

The last thing I saw was Xaden's face, a flicker of concern mixed with something else—something I couldn’t place—before everything went black.

(YN POV)

I saw Xaden’s punch coming before Bodhi even had time to react, and I swear, I could feel it in my own chest when it landed. Bodhi stumbled, took a step back, then another. And then, he fell.

I didn’t think. I just moved.

I jumped up from where I had been sitting on the nearby mat and rushed over to him, my heart pounding in my throat.

Dropping to my knees beside him, I gently lifted his face, my hands trembling.

“Bodhi... Bodhi, Bodhi...” I muttered, my voice breaking with every word.

His eyes were unfocused, and his breathing was shallow. Panic surged through me, my fingers brushing against his skin, searching for any sign of life.

Xaden's hands were suddenly on me, pulling me away. His grip was firm, but careful, as he lifted me up by my arm.

“He’ll be alright, Y/N,” Xaden said, his voice oddly calm in the chaos of the moment. “A concussion, maybe. Let’s get him to his room.”

But even as he said the words, I could feel the weight of the situation pressing down on me, the uncertainty clouding my mind.

____

I had been sitting beside Bodhi’s bed for what felt like hours. Two hours, to be exact.

The rain outside had started pouring, the sound of it slapping against the window oddly soothing, calming me down.

Sitting here, next to him, felt like the only thing that could ground me right now. No matter the circumstances, he always felt like home.

I gently swiped a damp cloth over his forehead, carefully wiping away the last traces of blood, my hand trembling slightly.

He stirred then, a soft groan escaping his lips.

“Bodhi, carefully,” I mumbled softly, pressing him back down into the pillow.

“Y/N…” His voice was low, raspy, like he was waking from a dream, eyes wide and unfocused.

“Careful, Bod. You’ve got a concussion. Xaden got you pretty good.” I chuckled lightly, wiping his cheeks gently with the cloth.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” he murmured, his voice still thick with exhaustion.

“Always will,” I whispered back, my fingers lingering on his skin.

“I’m sorry I’m not perfect—” I didn’t let him finish.

I leaned closer, cutting him off before the words could leave his mouth.

“Stop, Bodhi. Please.” I swallowed the lump in my throat, my voice shaking.

“You are perfect. You are all I want. And yes, you’re not like Xaden. You’ll never be Xaden, Bodhi. But you are Bodhi Durran. My best friend. The kind one. You’re one of the kindest souls I know, and—”

I took a shaky breath. “God, I love you so fucking much, Bodhi. It hurts me.” 

The words slipped out before I could stop them.

I had confessed my love.

We had never said those words before, never crossed that line, but in that moment, it felt right. It felt fitting.

Bodhi’s eyes widened in shock.

“Say that again.”

I hesitated, feeling the weight of my own confession settling in my chest. But there was no taking it back now.

“I love you, Bodhi Durran,” I choked out, my voice trembling.

Tears didn’t fall, but I could feel them swelling behind my eyes.

“I’ve loved you for years. I think I always will, Bodhi.”

His expression softened, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

“I love you too, Y/N. So much. So, so fucking much.”

My heart swelled at his words, a mixture of relief and joy flooding me.

Then, without warning, he pulled me in, his lips capturing mine in a soft, lingering kiss. The world seemed to fade around us, everything that had been heavy and painful just disappearing.

But then he pulled away, a low growl of pain escaping him.

I chuckled softly, pulling back just enough to smile at him.

“We better wait until you’re better to make out.”

“No fucking way.” Bodhi muttered, his eyes filled with mischief.

Before I could react, he pulled me back in, deepening the kiss immediately, ignoring the pain in favor of this moment we’d both been holding back for too long.

[stormcloudbringer]

[bookishlover23]

It is such a sibling thing to do!!!

[xadenxaddy]

Violet: I thought bonding with dragons would be this mystical, powerful experience...

Violet: Turns out, it's a lot of sass and eye-rolling

[saintsanddevils]

Never Alone - pt 5

Aaric Graycastle x Fem!Reader

Summary: Tension runs high with you and Aaric having to deal with mated dragons.

Warnings: ‼️18+ (MDNI) explicit content‼️, slight smut👀, angst, reader is in denial, Aaric is suffering, slow burn is finally burning

Word Count: 5.8K

Part Four | Part Six

Masterlist

————

-Bound-

(Aaric POV)

“Cam,” she moans against the skin of his collarbone.

Aaric thrusts forward, bottoming out inside of her. He throws his head back in rapture. She’s tight, so tight. It feels incredible. He needs more.

“Hold on, love.”

He pulls out only to slam back into her. She gasps, clawing at his back.

“Please,” she cries out as he does it again. And again. And again.

Aaric bends forward, nipping at her ear as he whispers, “Please, what? Tell me what to do, Y/N. I’ll do anything you want.”

Her breath hitches, as he pumps faster and faster, feeling how soaked she’s getting with each thrust.

His fingers find her clit, circling and teasing as her breaths pick up speed. He feels her racing pulse against his lips as he kisses down her sweat-slicked skin.

“Keep doing that,” she pants, her voice hoarse. “Keep touching me.”

Aaric smirks against her neck. “Anything for you, love.”

When he syncs his fingers with his thrusts, he feels her pussy beginning to tighten around his cock. He closes his eyes at the glorious feel of her coming close to the edge. With the mounting pressure at the base of his spine, he can tell he’s almost there, reaching his peak.

“Cam,” she gasps and moans, her eyes fluttering to meet his. Something shines in her eyes as she stares up at him.

A flood of adoration fills him as he gazes down at her. She’s so beautiful. And right now, she’s all his.

“Cam, I love—“

A loud crash has Aaric shooting up from his bed, panting. The darkness of his room greets him as his pulse races loudly in his ears. He looks around in a panic before he sees he’s entirely alone.

Y/N isn’t here.

It was a dream.

“Fuck,” Aaric groans, throwing himself back onto the mattress. His pillows had fallen off the bed while he tossed and turned. One of them colliding with the clock next to his bedside, causing it to crash to the floor.

Frustration and guilt gnaw at him as the dream still clings to his thoughts. The way she moaned and sighed his name. Her cheeks flushed. Her skin as soft as he imagines it to be.

The straining of his cock in his briefs has him shifting, adjusting to make it less uncomfortable. But the dream won’t let him go so easily. He’s incredibly hard, almost to the point of pain. He knows this will be a problem later on if he doesn’t deal with it soon.

Glancing at the darkened windows, he knows he has plenty of time before he’s expected to get up.

The whisper of Y/N’s moans echoes in his mind like a siren call as he slides his hand into his briefs. Gripping himself, he focuses on the dream, trying to imagine it’s real. The way her back arched. How her mouth gaped and widened. Her pupils dilating as he circled her clit. Her nipples turning into sharp peaks in the soft lighting of his dream.

Aaric groans, his hand sliding up and down his shaft, remembering how real it felt to be inside of her. How she fluttered around him, tightening and releasing him just so.

It’s agonizing remembering the dream so vividly and not feeling her this very moment. Not being able to kiss the skin of her collarbone before finding his way to her breasts. Sucking, licking, biting. His imagination of her body and what he would do to please her has run wild for so long, his hunger for her has become ravenous.

Aaric’s movements become frantic, chasing that high as a bead of precum spills from his tip. Her name chants in his mind as he imagines the feel of her lips against his. Would she be soft, like her skin? Or rough and passionate from wanting him for so long? He knows he’d take his time. He’d memorize every curve, dip, and valley of her body. Every sound she makes when she—

Her name flows from his lips like a prayer as he spills onto the sheets. Moans fill his room as he finishes.

When his cock softens and the throbbing dissipates, an ache settles in his chest. The familiar taste of guilt floods him as he slowly comes back to the present.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. And deep in his bones, he knows it won’t be the last. His body and mind both yearn for her. Being close to her, staying friends, it’s not enough for him.

Frustration racks up his spine as he shifts to stand, tearing the sheets from his bed as he goes. He’s folding the linens when that familiar, deep rumbling presence enters his mind.

Oh fuck. Not now.

“Will this be a common occurrence that will wake me from my slumber?” Molvic grumbles, his voice full of obvious annoyance. “I would prefer not to be present during such private…mortal weaknesses.”

Aaric winces, embarrassment flooding him. I didn’t mean to wake you—

“I know. That is obvious, Princeling.”

Aaric takes deep breaths as he throws the dirty sheets into a basket before grabbing new ones and making his bed.

As much as Aaric hopes he’ll sever their connection, Molvic stays.

“Your frustration with your mate is exhausting. If you wish to be with her, be with her. This is trivial.”

Aaric tenses. Like I’ve said before, she’s not my mate.

A pause. “Your emotions tell me otherwise.”

That doesn’t mean she’s my mate.

It’s as if he can feel the dragon roll his eyes while he quickly dresses into his loose training gear. There’s no way he’ll be able to sleep after that dream. Especially not after Molvic’s chastising.

If he can’t get any sleep, he’s going to take this time to burn off the excess energy in his body to forget everything that just happened.

If Molvic will even let him.

“Human mates are strange. You never communicate. It’s truly unnecessary.” A deep sigh rattles through his mind. “You make this more difficult for yourself.”

Irritation begins to bloom inside of Aaric as he bends to tie his boots. She is my friend, Molvic. Nothing more.

“Then move on.”

Aaric freezes, his laces gripped tightly in his fingers. A flash of her smile, her laughter, chokes him. He recalls the many times he watched her over the pages of a book while she thought he was busy reading. The way the sunlight would catch her skin, gilding her. How her eyes would sparkle as she absorbed whatever story she was consumed by. Her cheeks flushing as she bit her lip to stifle a laugh.

The ache in his chest is consuming now. An emptiness hollowing him at the thought of never being able to love her.

Because Aaric does. He loves her. He loves her with every breath of his lungs. Every fiber of his being, every beat of his heart, yearns for her to be his.

He’s never known when he fell for her, only that it was gradual and permanent. Something that settled in him like knowing the sky is blue and that she’s the epitome of love.

Aaric has always loved her and he always will.

With a sigh of defeat, he confesses, I can’t move on. I don’t think I ever will.

“Then stop denying yourself.” What sounds like a yawn fills his head as Molvic’s voice begins to slowly fade. “It only burdens you.”

Aaric stares at the wood of his door, his hand gripping the brass handle. This morning wasn’t the only time he’s thought of her in his bed, under his skin. The dreams have gotten worse since she forgave him for being overprotective months ago. Having her here, so close to him, makes it all the more painful to keep his feelings at bay.

So, he dreams. He hopes. He imagines what life would be like if they were together. If they weren’t thrown into the middle of a war. If they lived at the end of all this.

If she was mine.

It’s an intoxicating thought, but he can’t help himself. If she were his, he’d never let her go.

————

(Reader POV)

Where the hell is she?

My legs ache from pacing back and forth in the quadrant’s library. Violet is thirty minutes late, and I feel like I’m going to go crazy if she doesn’t show up any second.

Dim, morning light filters through the tall, arched windows, casting hazy shadows across the stone floor. The windows overlook the valley below Basgiath, where two weeks ago, I was fighting for my life to bond with a dragon. The branches are full of golden and red-hued leaves. This morning is beautiful, peaceful. Especially since a sudden frost settled over the valley during the night. It coats the windows, causing me to shiver, my skin prickling.

The beauty rivals my tempestuous emotions. It’s been over two weeks since Kesi and I bonded. The bond itself warms my being, but it’s the mating bond that has me pacing.

Two weeks ago, while everyone who bonded a dragon was celebrating after Threshing, I stole away to find Violet. Once I tracked her down, I found her talking with Rhiannon.

“Hey Vi,” I slipped into their conversation, not even caring I’d interrupted. “I need to talk to you.”

Concern etched itself across her features as she turned to me. “Is everything alright?” She lowered her voice, whispering, “Is it something to do with Aaric?”

“Yes and no,” I winced.

Understanding had lit her eyes as she turned to Rhiannon. “I promise I’ll find you later, okay?”

My squad leader nodded before disappearing down the hall.

Once she was out of sight, Violet stepped closer. “Did he find out how you feel about him? How you’re in lo—“

“No!” I rushed, terror striking me. “No, he doesn’t…” I breathed deeply as I tried to calm my racing heart. “It’s not about that.”

Violet’s brows furrowed as she shook her head. “I’m sorry for assuming. I just thought after all this time—“

“Our dragons are mates.”

Violet’s jaw dropped as silence encased our corner of the empty hall. Distantly, I could hear music and voices still celebrating.

”Holy shit,” Violet stared at me. “Mates?”

I nodded. “I need to know what to expect, Vi. I’ve heard it can be…difficult.”

Violet winced. “It can be, at least parts of it.” She sighed. “I can tell you what to expect, but I’m worried—“

Xaden Riorson appeared over her shoulder. As if sensing him, Violet turned around, her features softening.

“Excuse me,” Xaden spoke to me, but his eyes were on Violet. “But Violet, I need you to see this,” his face was grave as he quickly took Violet by the hand, guiding her down the hall.

She had turned back to me, an apology in her eyes as she followed. It wasn’t until later that she sent me a letter informing me she wanted to talk as soon as possible. Alone.

Well, the time finally came. It took weeks, but now, I’ll get my answers. If Violet ever shows up.

As if I summoned her with my thoughts, she appears, rounding the side of a bookcase.

“Y/N,” Violet rushes to hug me, slightly out of breath. “I’m sorry, life’s been so busy lately. I wanted to talk to you as soon as possible.”

Relief washes over me from the sight of her. I quickly motion for her to sit down at a table with me. “I get it, you’re a second year. You have better things to do than worry about a first-year problem.”

She shakes her head. “No, I’m happy to help. Especially when it comes to this.”

Violet throws her pack on the table, taking out a leather-bound tome that’s definitely from the archives.

“I grabbed this to help you with anything you don’t understand. It helped me a lot last year when I found out about Tairn and Sgaeyl.” She places the tome on the table before turning to me. “Have you talked to Kesi about it?”

A rumbling huff sounds in my mind, announcing Kesi’s presence.

“You need not worry about this.”

I clench my hands into fists. Nothing you’ve said has been reassuring.

“Molvic is my mate. This should not be a problem for you.”

Deflating, I soften my tone. It’s not a problem. I just want to understand how this affects me and Aaric. No one has told me what to expect.

“I have told you all I can.”

Ignoring her, I nod to Violet. “She’s not told me enough to reassure me.”

Violet grips my hand, her fingers soft and familiar. I smile at the gesture, missing having my friend around more often.

“I get it, trust me,” she huffs a laugh. Squeezing my hand, her hazel eyes meet mine. “First thing you need to know, the bond you have with Kesi? It now extends to Molvic and Aaric. You can communicate with them like you can communicate with Kesi. It’s…strange, at first,” a blush rises to her cheeks that has me raising a brow. “But you’ll adjust to it. You can easily shut them out the more you learn to shield.”

I nod, remembering all the lessons over the last two weeks on shielding. Picturing the library in the palace has helped me visualize my bond with Kesi. It’s the one place I’ve felt completely at home and comfortable, with Aaric at my side. The image of the marble pillars, towering white bookcases, the painted fresco of the gods and dragons decorating the ceiling, rows and rows of rare tomes— it settles the roaring thoughts of my racing mind.

I sit there, closing my eyes, and search my palace library, finding a solid door near Kesi’s. Hers is encased in light, warming me to the bone when I touch its surface. While this one is cold and burning, a blue haze covers the surface when I near it. This is definitely Molvic’s connection to me. I hope I never have to use it.

When I search my library again, I find another door. This one, unlike the dragon’s doors with obvious traces of imposing power, is simple, familiar. Its wooden frame is carved with images of a cabin and lake. It’s the one place Aaric and I would escape to during the winter to be away from court. This is definitely Aaric’s connection to me.

I open my eyes, finding Violet watching me with that scribe-like curiosity. “So, I can communicate with Aaric? Mind to mind?”

Violet nods. “It’s honestly more helpful than you think, but he won’t always be in your head.”

The thought of him even being there briefly has me slightly panicking. What if he sees or hears something he shouldn’t?

An even worse thought comes to me. What if he hears my unfiltered thoughts about my feelings for him? Would he hear every dirty thought I have when I watch him shirtless on the mat? How his straining, sweat-slicked muscles have me clenching my legs together, imagining him holding me down in his bed? Or how I wake most mornings, aching to be in his arms, wanting him inside of me?

A blush rises to my cheeks. Gods, this is awful.

“You’re being dramatic.”

I ignore Kesi, moving on. “Okay, so I can talk to him and Molvic. Got it. Is there anything else I should know or be aware of?”

Violet’s blush reaches up her neck, causing alarm to rise inside of me.

“Well, it can get…complicated,” she winces. “I mean, when Kesi and Molvic are together, it can lead you and Aaric to become…overwhelmed.”

I furrow my brows. “Overwhelmed?”

She slowly nods before scooting closer to whisper, “I know you care for him, but however you feel strongly for Cam, it’ll be incredibly heightened when Kesi and Molvic can’t shut you out during their own heightened emotions.”

I blanch. “You mean when they mate, I’ll want to jump Aaric’s bones?”

Violet squeezes my hand again, trying to reassure me. “I’ve known you for too long to lie to you. It’s going to be really hard to hide how you feel from him. I’m doing this to warn you of what will come.”

Truly, I appreciate what she’s doing. She went through it herself with Xaden, and now look at them, they’re inseparable and incredibly in love. I can picture them having a future together with how happy he makes her.

“Thanks, Vi,” I squeeze her hand. “You’d think after all these years, I’d let go of my feelings for him and move on,” I laugh bitterly.

Violet shakes her head. “Maybe this is a sign that you should tell him. Your dragons being mates feels like this was meant to be. Maybe it’ll work out.”

“And if I lose his friendship and he pushes me away? What then?” I stare out the frosted windows, an ache creeping up my limbs and burrowing in my chest. “I’d rather he be my friend than ruin anything between us.”

Burning fills my eyes as the overwhelming sense of loss fills me. If I can’t have Aaric for my own, I still want him in my life. No matter how much it hurts.

“Thanks for your help,” I try to smile, but the aching in my chest is hollowing me out. I’ll start crying if I don’t get out of here soon enough.

Violet stops me as I try to get up. “One more thing,” her face is gravely serious as she meets my eye. The soft encouragement from before is gone. “Did Kesi happen to tell you the consequences of a mating bond with two bonded riders?”

I slowly shake my head no.

She closes her eyes before breathing deeply. “I’m not going to sugarcoat this, but you and Aaric are bound now.”

“Bound?”

Her hazel eyes open, burning into mine. “If somehow, someway, he dies, then you die. If you die,” she swallows. “He dies, too.”

“Y/N!”

I shoot out of my chair, stumbling to my feet at the sound of Kesi’s ringing shout.

“Hey, you alright?” Violet reaches out, but my head is pounding hard, heart beating rapidly. I feel a surge of panic crash through me, and it’s startling.

What’s wrong?

“Get to the gymnasium. Now.”

The gym? What?

Did something—

“Your foolish prince is trying to get himself killed.”

————

I burst through the gym doors, breaths sawing through me from running down the many flights of stairs to get here. A crowd is gathered around the mats, sounds of yelling filling the cavernous hall. Violet sticks close behind me as I shove my way forward.

“If he dies, you die. If you die, he dies.”

Violet’s words vibrate through me as I move through the crowd.

Please be alive, please be alive, please—

When we finally reach the front, my stomach drops. Aaric is lying on the mat looking half dead. Blood drips down his face from a cut on his forehead. Sweat soaks his shirt as he stumbles to his feet.

Swaying, he stares down his opponent. I’ve never seen this guy before, but he’s huge. Larger than Aaric, and he looks incredibly pissed off. His knuckles are cracked and bleeding, his lip swollen as bruising lines his jaw.

But Aaric looks far worse. It’s this fact that has me panicking. Aaric’s losing this fight. He doesn’t lose unless he wants to.

“AARIC!”

My shout is lost in the commotion of the crowd as Aaric bounces on his toes, swinging at the other man. He easily evades it before punching Aaric in the stomach. The prince stumbles before spitting blood on the mat. His smile is all bloody teeth as he lunges forward.

Dain comes into view, his face pale as he watches with everyone else.

I run to him, panic lacing my voice as I shout, “Do something!”

Dain shakes his head. “I tried. I really did. He only tried to fight me, but I wouldn’t do it.” He turns his head and I can see slight bruising lining his cheekbone.

“Something’s very wrong,” I whisper, mostly to myself.

Dain nods. “He’s either drunk or super pissed off.”

I shake my head. No, Aaric isn’t like that. He’s logical, first and foremost. Everything he does is within reason. He’s calculated and cautious. He would never do this to bring attention to himself. He’s been trying to lay low for months.

So, what set him off?

My gaze returns to Aaric, who’s caught around his middle and thrown to the mat. His opponent straddles him and begins punching his face. Aaric doesn’t even protect himself. He just lays there…almost like he wants it to happen.

If he won’t end it, I will.

I clench my fists, grinding my teeth as I surge forward. Dain’s arm shoots out to grab me, but I step out of his reach.

Running onto the mat, I use all my strength as I collide with the brute on top of Aaric. The momentum throws him off of Aaric’s bruised and bleeding body, crashing to the mat with me on top of him. He looks up, stunned. When his eyes narrow, I roll off of him and stand with my feet apart and fists raised.

I hear Aaric cough my name, but I don’t turn around.

“He’s done,” I say, my voice lethal and cold. “You should be done, too.”

The guy hacks a wad of spit onto the mat inches from my boots. “He’s done when I say he’s done.”

Fury courses through my veins like a cold fire, an icy pull to kill, eliminate, and protect pulling me under. But I don’t give in. I can tell this is part of Kesi’s emotions bleeding into my own. But I tap into it, using it as a weapon.

“This is how this is going to go,” I growl. “You’re going to let me take him to a healer. And you’re going to stay the fuck away from him. Got it?”

His eyes furrow as he appraises me from head to toe. “I don’t need to take orders from his girlfriend.”

“I’m not asking.”

A strange surge of control comes over me. I’m highly aware of every part of my body, every movement of my chest as my breathing slows. I stare down at him, standing in front of Aaric.

It feels like lightning courses through my veins as I command, “Leave. Now.”

Without a second thought, he pulls himself to his feet, glancing at Aaric before turning around and forcing his way through the crowd.

The burning in my body fades just as soon as it arrives. My energy is draining as a pounding headache replaces that surge of calculated fury. I try to shake it off, turning to Aaric. He’s coughing and wheezing as I fall to my knees.

“Cam?” I whisper, my hand lightly touching his bruising cheek.

He turns into the touch, eyes closed as a groan escapes him. “Y/N?” His skin feels feverish and sticky as he moans into my hand, “I missed you.”

He’s delirious, that’s for certain, but his words set off butterflies in my stomach, warmth spreading through me. My eyes burn as I survey his swollen, bleeding face.

Violet is there, kneeling beside me. “We need to get him to a healer.”

I nod as Dain begins shouting to get everyone else to leave. He’s suddenly beside us, kneeling to pick up Aaric.

“Can you walk?” He asks.

Aaric’s head rolls as he looks up at him, blood dripping from his mouth onto the mat. “Oh hi, Dain.”

Dain swears under his breath before standing with Aaric. “I think he has a bad concussion.”

Aaric’s head swerves and finds me, a smile breaking out across his face. “Hey there, gorgeous.”

I would’ve laughed if his eyes didn’t immediately close after speaking. Dain slaps him across the face. It jolts him awake, his swollen eyes wide with alarm.

“What the fuck?!”

Dain huffs as he carries him from the gym. “You need to stay awake, you bastard, or I’m dropping you down the stairs. Gods, you’re heavy.”

Aaric glares at him before his eyes meet mine over Dain’s shoulder. Blood drips down the side of his head as he stares at me. I reach out and smooth back his hair before it gets more blood in it.

“You fucking idiot,” I whisper as tears threaten to fall. “We’re taking you to the healers. If you didn’t break anything, I’m breaking your jaw later for this.”

Aaric coughs a laugh before groaning as his body shifts in Dain’s arms once we’re in the hall.

“Don’t let my father find out,” he hisses to Dain.

He scoffs. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Cam.”

————

(Aaric POV)

When Aaric wakes, he finds Y/N sitting next to his bed, biting her lip as she grips his hand. Sheets tuck him into the bed as the sun sets, streaming fractures of light across the room through the arched windows.

A headache pounds against his head as he slowly shifts. On instinct, he tightens his fingers around hers, causing her to jump in her seat.

Her eyes whip to his, wide and tear-stained. “You’re awake.”

It must’ve been hours since Dain dragged Aaric into the healer’s room. Halfway up the stairs, he practically threw the prince to the stone before making him walk. Sienna had yelled at Dain for being a prick and at Aaric for being a moron for getting himself into this mess. They both hooked themselves beneath his shoulders and helped carry him the rest of the way up the stairs.

He barely remembers any of it. Only the feel of stiff sheets beneath him and the smell of something acidic and medicinal before blacking out.

“Hi,” he rasps, voice scratchy from disuse. Sharp pain lingers around his ribs, making him wince. “How long was I out?”

Y/N tightens her grip on his hand. “Almost ten hours, give or take?”

He huffs a laugh before immediately coughing. She’s there with water in her hands, helping him drink. The cool liquid wakes him further, clearing his mind.

“Fuck,” he winces as he tries to shift in bed to sit up. “Everything hurts.”

She rolls her eyes. “I wonder why.”

He scowls at the ceiling before attempting to raise himself again, breathing heavily from the movement.

“Stop that or you’ll make everything worse,” she scolds him, moving to stand.

Aaric rolls his eyes. “I’m fine. There’s enough drugs in my system to keep the pain at bay,” he hisses as sharp pain hits him again in the ribs. “Or at least I think so.”

She glowers down at him. “You’re such an idiot. What were you thinking earlier? Were you trying to get yourself killed?”

He tenses. That morning, after he tried to run off all the pent-up energy and desire he felt upon waking earlier, guilt still gnawed at him. He couldn’t believe how horrible of a friend he was for imagining her like that. She didn’t want that. She deserved better than that from such a close friend.

His head was so caught up in this that while he was swinging at a punching bag, he felt someone approach him from behind. They tried to taunt him, test him, get him riled up. Without thinking, with frustration rising inside of him, he turned and threw a punch at the guy. It quickly turned out to be a mistake, but when he got caught up in a fight with the brutish cadet, it felt liberating. Something he could control. And as each punch landed on his body, he knew he deserved it. He allowed it to happen.

Jaw clenched, Aaric doesn’t say anything as his best friend continues to fume. What can he say to her? “Hey, I’m sick and tired of being your friend and it’s slowly eating me alive?”

No. He couldn’t say that.

“Look,” Y/N sighs. “I know you. I know how you fight and what happened earlier was you punishing yourself for something.”

His fists clench, eyes trying not to meet hers as he feels her sympathetic gaze.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“What happened earlier is not nothing. You had broken ribs and a shattered cheekbone. Not even to mention your concussion! It took hours for them to heal you, and I never left, so don’t you get to say it’s nothing when it obviously wasn’t.”

Her voice breaks as she speaks, and Aaric finally looks at her. Tears brim her eyes. Fear and worry lining her features. His heart softens and aches at the sight.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “You’re right. It wasn’t nothing.” He sighs. “I…I was frustrated and angry. He just happened to be there. I needed to blow off some steam. That’s all.”

She doesn’t buy it, he can tell, but her shoulders loosen. “I’m getting real sick of these suicidal heroic tendencies of yours.”

He snorts. “Yeah, me too.”

This cracks her. She smiles gently. Aaric smiles back, only for his head to sting, causing him to wince.

She surges forward. “Shit, your stitches.”

She picks up a cloth lying on the bedside table before moving towards him. Her fingers are gentle, careful, as she smooths the cloth over his forehead. She’s close enough to breathe in the scent of her. Aaric can’t resist. He closes his eyes, breathing deeply. Lilac and citrus.

Memories of home rise to the forefront of his mind. Laughter ringing out over a pan of burned muffins. Shared smiles as his older brother, Halden, stomps off to sulk. Fingers tangled together as both Y/N and himself ready to jump into a pond brimming with water lilies and cattails.

Nostalgia grips him by the throat, and he tries to swallow it down. Everything about her, all that she is, is home for him.

Looking up at her, watching as she concentrates on her task, he feels a wave of affection crash over him.

Later, he’ll blame the drugs flowing through his system, numbing his usual restraint. But for now, he allows his hands to slide across her waist, pulling her closer.

Her breath catches, hand freezing on his forehead as her eyes meet his. He sees a question in her gaze, and something lighter. Something that must be reflected in his own as his fingers slowly pull up the material of her shirt. Just enough for his fingers to settle upon her skin, thumbs caressing her waist in slow circles.

Her pupils dilate as she holds his stare, breath increasing. He can feel her pulse through her skin, racing as fast as his own as he stares up at her through his lashes.

“Is this okay?” His voice is husky, full of need.

She swallows, his eyes tracking the movement, suddenly enraptured by the exposed skin of her neck.

“Y-yes,” she stammers. “It’s okay.”

He leans closer, her lips inches from his as he breathes her in. His fingers move to wrap around her back, caressing the base of her spine as he continues to draw slow, methodical circles into her skin.

“Is this?”

She nods, her eyes fluttering as his fingers softly trace the curves of her skin. Cloth forgotten, she allows it to fall to the bed, her hands tangling in his waves. The way she softly pulls on his hair has a moan rising from his mouth. The movement causes their lower lips to brush, lightning coursing through his veins at the sensation. A gasp falls from her mouth at the contact, her fingers pulling him closer.

“Cam,” she breathes, her voice full of want.

Flashes to this morning, to how he woke without her in his bed, makes him ache to take her there now. To show her exactly what he’s wanted to do to her for years.

Fuck, I want to kiss you so badly.

Y/N freezes. Her eyes widening before she pulls back from him. He starts to tug her back to him, not wanting to let her go, when she stops him with a hand on his bare chest.

“I heard you.”

Aaric furrows his brows, his entire being focused on the shape of her lips. “What?”

“Aaric,” she insists. She forces him to look at her, and her eyes soften for a moment. She sighs before closing her eyes, as if she’s concentrating.

“I want to kiss you, too.”

Her voice suddenly rings loud and clear in his head, startling him. His jaw hangs open as he stares.

Holy shit.

She smirks. “Violet told me about how the mating bond connects us. And I think because of your…lowered inhibitions,” her eyes sparkle as she leans closer. “Your shields let me in, allowing me to hear your thoughts just now.”

Well, fuck.

Y/N laughs, the sound lighting every nerve in his body. “It’s freaky, right?”

Aaric shakes his head. “What if I like hearing your voice in my head?”

She bites her lip, a flush rising to her cheeks. Gods, he wants her. He wants to kiss the hell out of that mouth, taste every bit of her. He wants to take his time before he moves his lips down her neck, taunting her, as he opens the buttons on her shirt, exposing her skin—

“Graycastle,” a voice startles them both, forcing Y/N to spring away from him. They both turn to find an aged healer standing there with a firm expression. “This is not the time or place for such fraternizing. Please refrain yourselves as you are not the only ones in the room.”

Aaric’s pulse races in his ears as he turns back to his best friend, whose face is bright red, eyes bulging as she stares at the floor, her mouth pinched to keep herself from smiling. He can’t help his own from spreading across his face. A strange giddiness fills him as her eyes slowly meet his.

She wants to kiss me.

The thought emboldens him, even as the healer shoos Y/N away from his cot. He catches her stare as she leaves.

Will you be back?

She tucks a piece of hair behind her ears before giving him a small smile at the doorway. “Is this a stupid question, or are you still concussed?”

Aaric’s smile is still wide even after Y/N disappears. Long after the healer checks his bandages and leaves. When the lights go out for curfew, he notices the lingering scent of her, clinging to the air around him. Lilac and citrus.

Just as he succumbs to sleep, he swears he overhears Molvic grumble in his mind. One word. “Finally.”

Part Six

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[illustratinghan]

one of the many perks of being a second year at basgiath war college - lazy sunday mornings with your best friend🌞☕️

vi and rhi’s friendship really is everything to me 🥹 @/rebeccayarros

follow me on instagram - @/illustratinghan

[visenyasdream]

After the Xaden POV chapter, I realized that the only person Xaden genuinely compliments besides Violet is Liam. He may have said nice things to the others sarcastically, but he directly tells Liam that the wooden figures in Monserrat are not as good as his, like a caring brother💔

[happyinternetcollector]

The Empyrean World By Rebecca Yarros