#BUT that is not what i was going to embarrass myself about lol dont get it twisted

[skunkes]

i dont like when character being blunt/having no filter = character just being Mean, and im trying to find a good balance with that for Talon. I guess it's not that hard since he's not an (active) overthinker and I have drawn him saying things he considers neutral that seem rude to others...I guess I have to find a way to show the opposite, too

[nevalizona]

I was starting to feel kinda crazy today! Like I was gonna embarrass myself! But then I got distracted by B*rry posts and I feel better :) the firm reset I needed to stay strong and be brave and don't let this brain rot go any further than it needs LOL

[honeytonedhottie]

what i learned during my reflection period⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧖🏽‍♀️🎀

as you may or may not have noticed, i've been hiatus for most of the month now. and i disappeared because of personal reasons, and one of those reasons being that i felt i needed to reflect. here are some things that i've learned and realized during my reflection time.

this is quite personal to me, but i wanted to kind of have a heart to heart with you guys and im sure that someone is probably struggling with what i mention in this post so i hope this is comforting...💬🎀

WHY I FELT STUCK IN MY LOA JOURNEY ;

i was literally doing the most and it felt like such a chore at the time. i would force myself to affirm in ways that felt unnatural, i was letting myself get bullied by the 3D, even though i KNOW i dont have to do a thing. i was putting way too much effort in the wrong way.

WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;

i took a step back and RELAXED. i did what felt natural again and enjoyed manifesting again and because of that i've had success story after success story...💬🎀

DOING A SELF AUDIT ;

i wanted to take a second and expose toxic behaviors and patterns that i noticed i exhibit and that have started to affect not only my physical but my mental in a very very negative way.

i'd been struggling with regulating my emotions and managing them so i was a walking ball of stress 💀. a beautiful ball of stress but stress nonetheless. i just felt so stuck.

WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;

i went through the motions and after having a total meltdown and doing a bit of journalling i released everything, giving myself a completely clean slate once more.

i did a bit of a refresh and did miscellaneous things to make myself feel like im starting again. things like self concept work, changing the theme of my phone, taking an everything shower + bubble bath, having a pinterest makeover and getting a trim on my hair.

i forced myself to drink more water, and go for long walks not only to get some sunlight but to get my heart pumping and push myself out of the depressive rot that i had been in for months internally, but had pushed itself out as soon as summer started.

THE DEATH OF A SITUATIONSHIP ;

i got really attached to this boy 😭 but he was such a piece of work. like he did that hot and cold shit, but i rly rly liked him so i ignored the obvious red flags. but i got to a point where i just felt used and embarrassed. upon further reflection i think i didn't wanna let him go because he was so fine 💀, like 6'5 muscular kind of fine.

no matter how handsome a guy is if he has an ugly personality or if he just treats u badly then hes not fine at all...💬🎀

WHAT'D I DO ABOUT IT ;

i went no contact. thats like the easiest way to get over someone i think lol. i went no contact and i just manifested better things for myself. like being asked out by a bunch of guys and wingstop to comfort myself 🧋

also i focused on what i got out of the whole thing. i got the redirection that i wanted, PLUS i was filled with inspiration for my song writing.

SONG RECOMMENDATIONS ;

i want war (BUT I NEED PEACE) - kali uchis

eternal sunshine - jhene aiko

let you go - clara la san

needy - ariana grande

AT THE END OF THE DAY ;

i wanted to include this section as a reminder that everyone goes through shit. things happen. its okay to be affected by it and its okay to be sad. the most important thing is to not dwell on it too long. remember that you are not a victim and remember how amazing you are BECAUSE YOU ARE. you are amazing and no matter what happens, regardless of anything your gonna be okay and your gonna be in a much better place, it starts with putting one foot in front of the other...💬🎀 (love honey)

[harrysgal]

I DIG YOUR CINEMA (5)

harry styles x yn aspiring filmmaker — social media AU

About the smau: yn starts posting videos on youtube and is trying to build a career as a filmmaker. Things are going pretty well for her and she starts getting more attention when she creates content about shows she goes to. She’s also a fan of Harry’s music and some of his fans start getting suspicious when his team starts interacting with her.

Disclaimer: The story it’s set in 2021 and it will follow their relationship through the LOT leg in the US. Since this is nothing but fiction, I will be following some of the real timeline but also adding my own stuff. On top of that, I won’t be basing myself on Harry’s actual posts.

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PART 4 — THE VIDEO // MASTERLIST

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I DIG YOUR CINEMA (PART 5) — FROM SAN ANTONIO TO DALLAS

liked by bestfriend, sisterinlaw, cuteguy and 63,157 others 

yourinstagram sightseeing tonight 😍 getting to know these cities only gets better and better guys 

view all 9,105 comments

harryfan7 was this before or after dinner with harry? 😏

↳ harryfan3 stoppp. my heart cant take it ↳ harryfan11 no bc the idea of them walking together and stopping to take pictures it’s just so 🤏

lookitsnyoh 🦭 pillowpersonpp 🦥 anthonypham 🧸

↳ harryfan not the teddy bear!!! 

harryfan117 MISS SARAH JONES IS HERE user8 whats with all the emojis guys!! let me innnnn  user1 YOU’RE BACK 🥰 bestfriend its not the city its all you baby bc you light up the world like nobody else

↳ harryfan that was just… ↳ harryfan5 HEJAHDH NO YOU DIDNR ↳ yourinstagram ….  ↳ yourinstagram i dont even know how to react  ↳ bestfriend wish i could say im sorry or embarrassed but im actually not 

cuteguy Looks amazing!

Sep 10, 2021 •

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liked by user1, user4 and 517 others

cuteguy congrats darling ＠yourinstagram 

view all 75 comments 

harryfan60 see?? she isn’t dating Harry

↳ harryfan58 I fucking knew it  ↳ harryfan62 hope this pr nonsense stops 

user14 little sus but alright ig  randomguy cool bro  user44 dude there’s no way she hasn’t cheated on you lol user3 you guys are so fucking disrespectful can you pls leave this man alone???

↳ user26 I mean he’s the one who decided to go public so… 🤷‍♀️ ↳ user3 his ig being public doesn’t automatically mean you’re supposed to be rude tho. 

user36 Am I the only one who finds this picture adorable?

↳ user38 me too!! i was looking for a nice comment about it lol thanks! ↳ user36 I mean they definitely look like a couple and idk it’s a cute pic :( ❤️ liked by author 

Sep 10, 2021 •

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liked by annetwist, bestfriend, cuteguy and 63,879 others 

yourinstagram update time: went out for a run and my lungs got on fire. view was great though. zero complaints. also the show last night was INCREDIBLE. 

view all 13,719 comments

bestfriend shut up you actually went for a run?? 

↳ harrystyles I wouldn’t call that going for a “run”.  ↳ bestfriend okay that actually makes more sense now ↳ yourinstagram excuse me????? 

harryfan OMFG harry interacting with yourbff??? 

↳ harryfan5 I KNOW! where are you ＠bestfriend are you still alive???  ↳ bestfriend no  ↳ bestfriend but im pretending to be cool about it so 🤫 ↳ harryfan OMFHAJDHPAHDJ ILY

cuteguy 😍 user7 yessss! two days in a row!!!! thank you!!! user1 looks so prettyyyyyy! hope you’re doing okay <33

↳ yourinstagram i am!! thank you love <333 

yourbrother Won’t believe you’ve moved your ass to be healthy until I see it.  

↳ yourinstagram the fact that you dont believe me wont change the fact that it happened :D

harryfan15 harry is such a stalker. interacting with her posts when he doesn’t even follow her lol harryfan25 Anne started following her!!!  user10 Not to rush you, but are we getting more videos anytime soon? I was so used to getting one every week… :( user25 So… She’s officially dating that cuteguy, isn’t she? 

↳ user17 What? Who said that?  ↳ user25 TMZ updated that article of her and Harry having dinner with this picture of them ↳ user17 Oh… Where can I see this picture? ↳ user25 She’s tagged on it. ＠cuteguy posted it  ↳ user13 i wouldn’t believe (or read) TMZ guys ↳ harryfan68 funny how you won’t believe TMZ when it’s about this guy but you’ll believe them when it’s about harry ↳ user13 lmao I’m not in that fandom so I couldn’t care less about her dating harry or not. 

harryfan13 SO WE ARE ALL GOING TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT HARRY AND YN WENT OUT FOR A RUN TOGETHER?????

↳ harryfan60 Yes bc no one actually believes they did. Next. ↳ harryfan68 hahaha you ate this one 

Sep 10, 2021 •

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liked by harryfan, harryfan2, harryfan3 and 4,375 others 

harryupdates A fan met Harry in San Antonio today! 

According to the fan, Harry said he was on a tight schedule so couldn’t stay for a chat, but agreed to take a quick picture and thanked her for going to the show. 

view all 675 comments

fanwhometharry “Thank you so much I hope you enjoyed it”, those were his words exactly :’)

↳ harryfan27 OMG IT WAS YOU?? YOU’RE SO LUCKY ↳ fanwhometharry I know!! Thank you!!! ↳ harryfan24 was he alone??  ↳ fanwhometharry No, he was walking with his personal trainer and Yn ↳ harryfan52 his personal trainer also has a name btw and it’s Brad  ↳ fanwhometharry Sorry, I don’t keep up with his personal trainer 🤷 I only know Yn bc I watch her youtube videos ↳ harryfan9 don’t apologize they’re always finding something to complain about lol happy for you!!

harryfan72 How convenient… He always agrees to take pictures when Yn is around 🙄 

↳ harryfan68 right??? almost as if he WANTS people to spread the word… 

harryfan13 I KNEW I WAS RIGHT AND THEY WERE TOGETHER

Sep 10, 2021 •

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liked by annetwist, bestfriend, cuteguy and 61,574 others 

yourinstagram DALLAS! you are sooooo so pretty <3 we arrived yesterday and im already in love. it was a sunny afternoon so i went out for a walk, and as i was on my way to buy some flowers to myself (bc i wanted some so i got some) i had one of those surreal moments thinking about how lucky i am to be where i am right now. im always waiting for this feeling to eventually go away so i can come back to my “old life” and my “old self”, but now im kinda considering that as time goes by and i get to know more and more places, it will actually only grow bigger and bigger, right? :’) 

(in that case, feel free to unfollow me now bc the annoyance will only grow bigger and bigger as well — consider yourself warned.)

view all 14,102 comments

sisterinlaw The summer vibes are gorgeous! harryfan42 WAS HARRY WITH YOU????  user1 another post??? feels like going back to the old times im so happy!!! harryfan64 this girl won’t even post her face and she got like 4k new followers in one day 

↳ harrystyles82 It’s the Harry Styles effect  ↳ harryfan64 glad im not the only one who sees it 🤡

harryfan YN? DID YOU ACTUALLY JUST SAY I WANTED SOME SO I GOT SOME??? 

↳ harryfan5 i saw that too i was like… okay 😂 ↳ harryfan9 hahaha I hope she actually did get some tbh  ↳ harryfan13 ME TOO!! ↳ bestfriend yes. she 100% did ↳ harryfan9 😲 ↳ harryfan lmaoshuahsjbjh  ↳ harryfan17 wait ＠bestfriend she 100% say “i wanted some so i got some” or she 100% got some?  ↳ harryfan23 oh god i cant believe this is a real conversation you guys are having HAHAHA

user17 please keep feeding us with your random cute posts!! <3 i love them!! bestfriend fgs ＠yourinstagram have some manners  bestfriend i thought you didnt like exposing yourself like this  bestfriend also… your mom is on instagram so…  bestfriend PLEASE 

↳ yourinstagram omfg shut upppp ahusdhjahj ↳ yourinstagram stop encouraging the nonsense behavior??? ↳ yourinstagram you KNOW i meant the flowers ↳ yourinstagram i wanted some FLOWERS so i got some FLOWERS ↳ bestfriend yeah i know 💐 ↳ bestfriend sorry its just too funny sometimes 💋

loveynrry did anyone else notice yn hasn’t liked THAT picture yet? 👀

↳ user4 which one? ↳ loveynrry the one @/cuteguy posted ↳ user4 ohhhhhh 👀 ↳ user4 also did you notice yourbff doesn’t follow him ↳ user9 shit ＠user4 i hadn’t noticed that  ↳ loveynrry i did, yeah… thats why im sus about him ↳ user4 I mean, I trust yourbff judgement soooooo…… 

Sep 11, 2021  •

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— — — — — 

PART 6: PHILLY AND DC

— — — — — 

[opiopal]

a fic requested by anon and also my very first request!! and also a very silly request that makes me giggle, does this count as a crack fic? probably! (gn Mc as always ofc!) the idea was a demon rapper/singer constantly throwing shade at mc, why? cause they exist lol. (this does not properly fit into the timeline of the second session of the first OM game,)

.

after coming back to the devildom, Mc of course had plenty of catching up to do! they were gone for oh so long so of course all their attention was on their friends(and also their classes), so they were pretty occupied and whenever they were alone they were most likely just napping or doing homework. so they weren't aware of any new music or trends on the internet.

but, one afternoon they had gone out for some much needed alone time, just browsing shops and thinking about what to get for lunch or if it was even worth eating at the moment at all. eventually they decided to take a small break on a bench and pull out their phone to start playing one of the many mobile games levi suggested to them, though their focus was suddenly interrupted by a hand on their shoulder. which causes them to yell and nearly drop their phone as they whip their head around and see.. solomons stupidly happy face.

"STOP. sneaking up on me. you're going to give me a heart attack."

"ah, but i didn't!"

despite feeling a little annoyed by his giggles, mc of course invited him to sit with them and catch up, since they hadn't talked much since he had suddenly teleported them back to the devildom. after what feels like a very short thirty minute chat, he suddenly turns to completely face Mc.

"you know.. I'm surprised that you're so unbothered by the recent drama,"

"... huh?? what drama?"

his eyebrows raise in amusement,

"you really dont know? With the brothers I figured that you would have heard! here, pull out your D.D.D and go to deviltube"

"ok??"

doing what he intructed, Mc ends up finding themself on a profile for a singer they hadn't heard of before, though recognized a song title or two from internet trends and character edits. solomon instructs them to listen to a song and so they do.

"I mean- it sounds good- 'seven dicked sheep bitch' is kind of a weird lyriaaAAAAAA- WAIT."

they turn to look at him

"IS- IS THIS- ABOUT ME?? WHAT??"

they take at least a good hour listening to song after song, this guy even joked about mc being related to lilith! when did that even become public information?! by the end of it they felt so angry that they were certain satan would have been able to sense it. I mean- what did they ever do to this person??

"so what do you want to do about this? I've been keeping myself from sending a few curses their way before I got your opinion on it"

"NO. no. I mean- I appreciate it but- if I just let someone else deal with it then that would just prove points.."

it was silent for a good while before an idea dawned on them.

"I could write something back,"

"how so?"

"you know, make something and put it out, its not unheard of- ugh nevermind its a stupid idea- I dont even know anything about this guy-"

the sound of a loud 'aheam' cuts mc off and spooks them, they turn their head quickly to see- mephisto??

"WHY- are people just sneaking around today?! hi hello- do you need something?"

Mephisto clears his throat, glancing around for a moment before speaking,

"well. I couldn't help but overhear your conversation-

"you mean eavesdropping for the newspaper club?"

he stops and glares at solomon for both the interruption and the completely untrue accusation!

"I overheared. and I would like to offer my assistance."

silence falls over the two humans before Mc suddenly smiles brightly

"seriously?! i would love your help with this!! I knew you secretly liked me!!"

mephisto's face reddens slightly, probably both from embarrassment and Mc's excitement.

"NO. I- simply think this sort of drama would do well for the newspaper club. I have no interest in helping your pride recover in the slightest."

"mhm, okay, sure."

later on Mc ended up texting the HOL group chat to say that they were staying over at purgatory hall for dinner, though made sure to leave out the fact that mephisto and solomon were there to keep any of the brothers from showing up. unsurprisingly, Mephisto already knew a lot about the guy, and hardly even had to search far to find any more dirt on him. though solomon didn't have a clue on the technology, he surprisingly had some skill in the poetry department, probably due to his old age, so it went smoothly. and the last time mc had sang anything was in elementary school chior, so they surprised themself. all in all it was actually kind of fun, despite the fact that all they did was spend hours on end insulting and airing out a demons dirty laundry.

eventually Mc pointed out how late it was, and that they would sneak back into the HOL and post the music under a new account. but of course they didn't leave before Mephisto made both humans swear to never mention he had anything to do with this. ever. which they agree while giggling, and they all head out and Mc does exactly what they said they would.

and just like in most tv shows written by boomers who dont know how the internet works, it gained attention FAST. mainly because a lot of nocturnal demons had found it and spread it around like crazy.

out of everyone Levi was the very first to hear about it, since he was up into the late hours of the night, and had been tagged by one of his online friends asking "hey isnt this YOUR human lolol?" and he lost his mind, of course the moment he heard about it he was vibrating with amazement and excitement until breakfast, once he knew everyone was downstairs he rushed into the dining room- only to bump into asmo, who was also going to tell everyone the same thing. asmo had been tagged by one of his followers who realized the human artist that popped out of nowhere with ten distracks in one night was also the same human Asmo posted selfies with. once the two composed themselves they told the other five as Mc sat at their chair awkardly trying to eat their breakfast as they feel the brothers eyes slowly land on them one by one. lucifer, on the outside, seemed to be disappointed that mc didn't bring this issue up with them, but on the inside was proud of them for doing something that would surely embarrass the artist. mammon, after getting over the wave of pride he felt for his human, immediately turned and brought up how much money Mc could make off of this! but it was shut down by lucifer the moment it left his mouth. satan and beel both felt angry for a moment at how someone could just insult mc so carelessly, satan calmed down once he thought about how embarrassing it must feel for the artist to not only get such a harsh response, but also to get publicly shamed by other demons. beel only calmed down after Mc told him it was ok, but he was still bummed that someone could ever say anything nasty about Mc. Belphie simply chuckled, referred to the artist as an idiot, and laid his head back down on the table, though on the inside he thought the entire thing was hilarious.

once at RAD it was apparent that it was all that everyone was talking about, and unfortunately for the teachers it was all they would focus on as well. the first to approach mc about it during RAD was Simeon and Luke, Simeon was almost giggling as he asks "so is this what you three were up to last night? I just heard Asmodeus talking about it," which Mc explains that they just didn't want anyone else to handle it with violence or even the death of this demon. Luke, his little speciest self(/j), made it known how proud he was of them for standing up to a demon. Dia of course figures out whats happening as soon as possible once he realizes the entirety of RAD is out of focus, and laughs his ass off over it, of course Mc would do something so silly! humans are so odd!! barbatos of course also finds it funny, but not as much as Dia does. mephisto is questioned by other students on it at some point once they hear he's going to put it in the school news paper, the only thing he says is that mc must have gotten their information from a very reliable source. 13 also thought it was funny, and gloated to other demons about the fact that Mc did such a thing, though later on asked Mc why they would leave her out of something this fun!

at the end of the day multiple students were given detention for being focused on the situation, and the artist was fighting for their LIFE online trying to debunk or defend everything that was mentioned in Mc's tracks, though it didn't help.

(sorry abt the lack of Raphael, I wasn't sure of how to write him- also mb for this taking me so long lol, life got in the way and I got busy) ((and also my apologies if this seems out of character for anyone at all, the emperor's groove got thrown off:[ ))

[lil-binuu]

𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘀

based on an ask from @peppymintdreams for a shirtless reader

570 words

WARNING: SPICE ‼️ so if you’re a youngster to read at ur own risk

sorry peppy for taking so long with this request 😔 i kinda went off plot (as you can tell lol) and then had to rewrite part of it

[gender neutral reader]

[reader wearing a see through shirt]

It was safe to say Elias had a passion for you. Being around you, he couldn't help but want to show you some love - especially if you were dressed up nice for him... but what about not dressing up enough?

You can probably imagine Elias's reaction to seeing you like that.

When you walked downstairs, Elias was caught in surprise, his eyes wide and a soft smirk creeping up the corner of his lips. 

And he wasn’t shy about staring. This man’s eyes were glued to you. As hard as you tried to pretend you didn’t notice, it was difficult when he made it so obvious. 

Oh well, he’ll just have to watch. You didn’t mind.

You started with the dishes, turning the tap on high, ‘unintentionally’ letting the water splash on you as you rinsed dishes under. 

Elias couldn’t help but lean forward from on the couch, curious as to what you were doing. 

“Baby?” 

Elias came up from behind you, swooping his arms around you, almost trapping you against the sink. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Hm? The dishes?” 

He chuckled. 

“I can see that, but that's not what I meant.” 

You continued to pick up dishes from next to the sink, squeezing out soap and scrubbing them with the water splashing onto your chest. 

“Well what did you mean?” 

Elias leaned closer into your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. 

“I wanna know why all of a sudden you’re doing dishes-“

“Trying to be helpful.” You cut in, playfully.

“- and you’re getting water all over yourself.” 

“I can’t help it if I’m messy…” 

You trailed off as you watched his arm reach forward to turn the tap on full. 

You felt your face heat up. 

“Go on.” Elias urged, testing how far you were willing to go.

You continued what you were doing, taking a plate, using soap, giving it a scrub and rinsing it under the tap. 

You couldn’t help but gasp when the icy cold water splashed against your skin. 

Elias tutted, moving away to pick up a kitchen towel. 

He turned the tap off, guiding you to turn around and face him. 

He took the towel over your arms and across your now transparent shirt, drenched from the water, purposefully paying attention to your chest area. 

“What were you trying to achieve with that, huh baby?”

You bit the inside of your lip. 

“Nothing.” You said innocently. 

“'Nothing'?” Elias echoed, stroking a finger all the way from your waist up, up, up.

“What’s this then?” He whispered. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You teased, smiling to yourself. 

"mm.. I think you do, baby."

You shook your head, feeling the butterflies in your stomach grow. 

“Then how about I show you?” 

Elias kissed from behind your neck, down to your collarbone. His hands stopped at the hem of your shirt, pulling his face away to quickly pull it over your head. 

His lips attached back onto your damp skin. 

You gasped out at the feeling, your hands falling onto his head, tugging gently at his hair. 

His lips were hot on your skin, sucking purple and red marks all over. 

He groaned softly at the tugs on his hair, running his hands up and down your body.

“You were trying to tease me, weren’t you?”

He whispered, looking into your eyes. 

You nodded, slightly embarrassed.

He smirked. “It worked.”

YALL I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT DEMON POSSED ME TO WRITE THIS 🫢

not even joking if someone finds this i will drown myself in that sink water.

[whirlwindimagines]

Hi how are you? I hope youre ok. i love youre blog and wanted to ask if you could write nightmare comfort because i have them like every night and they end in really bad panic attacks i just need comfort 🥲

With wolfwood and vash and if you want to million knives

you dont have to.

have a nice day <3

btw sorry for my bad englisch 😅

Hi! I’m doing well, just trying to get through the week lol I’m sorry for your nightmares! That’s no fun, I hope this is nice and comforting. And I low key been wanting to write for Million Knives because he’s usually my type lol pretty, psycho, mass murderer ya know the usual type! I'm not kidding I'm a Dabi apologist; don't think I won't turn into a Knives’ one. Man, I really do be exposing myself on this blog. Also, this is my first time writing for Knives so apologies, also of course his part was the longest. 

'Sweet dreams are made of this'

Vash, Nichalous D Wolfwood, and Million Knives (separate) comforting you after a nightmare.

Vash: 

You awoke with a silent scream, for a second you didn't recognize where you were your heart still racing. Then it was slowly coming back to you, looking around you noticed you were in a hotel room, that’s right the group had stopped at the little motel for the night. You glanced over beside you, and let out a sigh of relief.

And Vash was right there, sound asleep, his back facing you. Placing a hand over your heart, you were glad you didn't wake him God knew he needed his sleep, the man was usually a light sleeper, but he admitted one night that when he slept in a bed with you, he was more content. It was sweet and definitely didn't make your heart race. 

You lay back down, everything is fine, you are safe, Vash is safe and you are sure the others are fine in their own rooms. Okay back to bed, you don't know how long you lay there staring up at the ceiling. With a sigh you turn towards Vash, you don't really want to wake him for such a silly reason.

Reaching your hand out slowly you grip the back of his shirt between his shoulder blades. You call his name; your heart skips a beat as he stirs. “What is it?” he says with a yawn, your voice catching in your throat embarrassed. “Nothing sorry just go back to sleep.” You say quickly, dropping your hand. “Hey wait.” he shuffles around to face you; he looks tired but his gaze is focused on you. You blush, “I had a nightmare.” You admitted shyly, Vash reaches out a hand and rest it against your cheek. “Come here.” you don't need to be told twice, you moved forward wrapping your arms around Vash as his own arms settle around you. You could hear his heartbeat from where your head lay on his chest, slow, steady, safe. 

Vash ran his fingers through your hair, and you were glad he wasn’t asking any questions you didn’t want to talk about it anyway. Feeling safe and protected, you relaxed even more into his hold. You knew sleep would come much easier now, you smiled when you felt Vash press a gentle kiss to the top of your head. Everything would be fine now.

Wolfwood:

“Fuck!” You awoke sharply, your hands going to your head. You forced yourself to breathe, the night air was cool against your skin and it felt good. You settled back on your back looking up at the stars.

You were shaking, placing your hands on your face you tried to control your breathing. You sigh your probably not going to get any more sleep. Placing your hands at your side you watch the sky, glancing over at your companion you are surprised to see Wolfwood awake and watching the stars. 

“You good?” His voice startles you, at first you are speechless, but he turns to look at you with a raised brow. You sigh, “it’s stupid, just go back to sleep.” You say your tone was dismissive, it was silly. The nightmares were annoying at this point. “Sorry I woke you.” Turning on your side in the sleeping bag, you force your eyes close. 

Wolfwood scoffs at you, hearing him shuffle around a bit. “You didn’t wake me, get up.” He shoves your shoulder; you roll your eyes sitting up and turning to him. Your face flushed he’s way too close, and you lean back a bit. “Seriously Nico it was nothing.” You don’t want to talk about this, you watch him light a smoke. He passes you one, and with a sigh you take it. He offers you a light, but you don’t take it just holding the unlit cigarette between your fingers.

The two of sitting in silence, honestly you're glad for this. He doesn’t ask you any questions, “thanks.” You whisper, too shy to look at him. He chuckles, “for what?” your gaze softens as you look at him, you rest your arms over your knees and let out a light laugh.

“For being here.” You smirk, when he looks away stubbing out the cigarette in the sand. You watch the tips of his ears turn red; Nicholas was always nervous when you went soft on him. But you loved making him blush, he flustered you so much it was only fair to return the favor.

Scooting closer to the man, you lean your head on his shoulder. Sitting right beside him now, Wolfwood doesn’t say anything. He also doesn’t look at you as he lifts an arm to wrap around your shoulders to bring you to his side. You close your eyes smiling contently, there is no place you’d rather be. 

Million Knives:

The screaming you realize is your own voice, you slap your hands over your mouth to cut the sound your heart racing it feels like it's going to burst from your chest. The silence in your room is loud, only your rapid heartbeat and harsh breaths fill the space. Fuck you briefly wonder if you woke anyone up, you hope not… some of the others had quite the temper. 

With a sigh, you force yourself out of the bed, and out of your room it's too suffocating. With no real destination in mind, you let your hand trail on the wall as you walk down the pristine hallway. As you continue to walk that’s when you hear the first sounds of a piano. The song is familiar of course, and you know who is playing. 

You wonder if you should continue, interrupting Knives could be a death sentence for some. But the thought of going back to bed, to sleep, makes your stomach twist painfully. So, you continue trying not to think too hard when you step into the grand room. The music is louder here of course, now that you’ve reached its source. 

Standing there watching, you’re sure he already knows you are there. But you don't speak out of turn, “What.” his voice is curt, but not angry you take it as a sign to continue. “I had a nightmare, and I heard you playing.” you found being honest, and blunt with Knives’ was easier. He hated when people skirt around their words, you’re a little embarrassed about what you admitted to, but your heart skips a beat when he gestures you over with a wave of his hand. 

Approaching carefully, you stand off to the side he removes his hood your blood runs cold when he looks at you with a sly grin, “A nightmare?” he coos it at you mockingly, this was a bad idea you should have turned around, the moment you heard the keys of the piano. You nod, watching as he pats the bench, you know he's telling you to sit not asking. 

You do, trying not to show any emotion, you couldn't ever get a read on him, A part of you knew you should be afraid, and maybe the rational side of you was, but right now? You were tired. He looks at you expecting an answer, “Yes, I get them often.” you meet his gaze shyly, and he lets out a ‘hum’ turning back to the keys and resting his hands on them not playing. “You humans fear so easily, even in sleep you can't escape it.” 

Your hands clench in your lap, Knives begin to play now a softer melody one you haven't heard, you look at him in surprise but his face gives nothing away. The tune is comforting, and you can feel it lulling you to sleep. “Go ahead sleep, nothing will harm you here.” Not thinking of the consequences, you lean your head on Knives shoulder, he continues playing as the song lulls you to sleep.

[lostiolite]

Hello! Can i please request a oneshot of jealous hyun cha, where he sees you talking to another survivor and wishes that were him making you laugh?

He becomes clammy at the idea of conversing with you. He stops in place when he notices you laughing with Jay. For some reason, theres a weird feeling in his gut. Jay wasn’t a bad guy, but there was no doubt that he was attractive. Even with the current lack of recourses, his skin was relatively clear, and his hair visibly soft, while hyuns hair was scruffy and greasy from his lack of care and styling; Something he didn’t care about until now. Jay was tall and his physique was much more toned than Hyuns. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like seeing you laughing with jay, he wasn’t even that funny or was he? Did you like him because he was hot? You didn’t seem the type to be shallow like that. He thinks about his old neighbor, the aspiring actor, shit, he wasn’t any better. He stands there, thinking, thinking too much about Jay, you, and himself.

“You good?”, He snaps his head up, eyes meeting with your concerned ones. He suddenly feels overwhelmed with shame, obviously you would like Jay over him. He stays silent for a moment. Staring at you, god your so-

“Yeah.” He pauses again, debating on whether or not to make conversation. his mind is going a thousand miles per hour. “Uh- Uh- I saw you talking to Jay! What was that about?” He says hastily, the second sentence notably quieter.

“Ohh, we were talking about what we were doing before, you know- the monsters. He was into beauty and stuff, not surprised. He was telling me about some silly stories in the beauty industry”.

“Ohh… uhm, Hyuk- he wants me to give this to you” He hands you the papers looking down.

“Oh yeah, thanks! I’ll make sure to get back to him” Just as you reach for the papers, hyun speaks up.

“Uhh…” he trails off, trying to give himself courage. “Whats your opinion of him?” He asks innocently.

“Hyuk?”

“No- Jay.”

“Hes nice” You take notice of his unusual demeanor. “Why?”

“Nothing.”

He wishes he could make you laugh. He’s seen you engage with hyuk in laughter, but that made sense because you and hyuk were on good terms. He doesn’t think hes ever seen you talk to Jay before. Why haven’t you laughed like that with him. Was he not funny? No- he didn’t even try to make you laugh. God, he cant even speak normally to you. He wants to make you laugh but hes too awkward.

It seems that he wears his emotions on his sleeve (we already know). Because, Jisu takes note of his visible annoyance afterward, she knows his feelings for you, even if he doesn’t even really comprehend them. She was in the same room as you and Jay, she saw Hyun awkwardly speaking to you, she put 2 and 2 together.

“are you… jealous” She comes up to him, teasingly.

“No!?” He says defensively

“What were you gonna say to ‘em? You looked like you were gonna say something but you stopped.” she inquiries further.

“its not important”. He looks away, growingly flustered.

“You could be the one making them laugh, did you hear them laughing earlier, it was so cute/silly!”

“i… cant” he looks at her, his expression falling, and he sighs, “I just, cant bring myself to… talk to them.”

“Aww! Cmon, I’ll set you up with them! I dont think im a bad wingwoman myself!” She playfully jabs him. He smiles in return.

“Thanks, hopefully I dont embarrass myself.”

—

Hyuk watches their interaction with extreme amusement, hes going to use this against him. lol

[woofwoofwolf]

Go home, Hobie Brown

Hobie brown x reader

Part 2:

Notes: Alt reader, Aro Ace spec reader but this fic is still romantic in nature (bc im aro ace and this is wish fulfilment, so dont come for me if this doesnt line up with your lived experience), fluff, reader has anxiety over liking Hobie and he teases reader for it a lil, reader remains GN but might have a writing bias towards fem, nicknames: babe and sweetheart, Hobie and reader are adults, use of (y/n), no phonetic spelling of Hobies accent, brit wtitten by a European sue me

The type of alt space the reader belongs to is up to you. Alt meaning alternative, as in subculture spaces. I'm alt myself so this comes from experience. Get stared at a lot lol

Pls dont repost anywhere thx ✨️

There was a rush to the exit of the classroom. You were always slow packing your intricately decorated book-bag and were one of the last to leave.

"Thank you professor, have a nice rest of your day."

"See you on monday, (y/n)." The professors always knew your name, despite having so many students. Another curse or blessing (depending on the situation or your point of view) of dressing alternatively - people never seem to forget you.

You opened the door but immediately slammed it shut again, causing the professor to look back up at you.

"Oh. Hehe... sorry..." you turned back to the classroom. No other exits. Maybe you could jump out of the window?

But before you could reconsider your escape plan, the originator - or should I say instigator - of your panic and embarrassment entered the room with the heavy steps of his well-worn boots.

"Hey there," said Hobie Brown, as confident as always. "What are you up to,"

You felt an unwanted warmth crawl up your neck. You had always told your friends that romance wasn't for you and that you weren't going to date anyone just to 'find out.' You weren't ever ashamed of not ever having been attracted to someone before, but man, were you ever unprepared to have a crush as an adult.

You met Hobie through Gwen. From the moment he met you, it was as if a switch flipped inside of him. He decided that he liked you and that he wanted you. He had told you so right away.

"You single?" You were sure he didn't even know your name at that point. He liked the way you expressed yourself, and although you usually hated how people would pretend to know what you were about only from the way you dressed, it was like Hobie actually understood you in just a glance.

You felt it right to tell him that you didn't do dating, but it wouldn't leave your throat. Never had you been confessed to before, and you didn't know what to even say.

He started showing up places, more and more, he became an unpredictable part of your circle. You didn't know how to process him.

"Let's match pace together. You feel me?" He'd say.

"No, I don't, actually,"

But slowly, you did. It felt as if your slow and monotone life started to pick up some speed, all the while you felt more in tune than ever. You wondered if the pace of his life had slowed down a bit in return, but you were too scared to consider what he might specifically be feeling for you and why. You doubted he wasn't being genuine, but you had no idea why he insisted on you.

You'd bicker with him (oh. It was so fun to bicker with him- wait were you flirting with him?), but when Gwen asked if you wanted her to tell him to leave you alone, you told her not to. Which only further fanned the flames of Pav's incessant 'shipping' of the both of you.

And so, you realised that for the first time in your life, you felt something for someone. And you were completely unprepared to tackle it.

"I can't believe it, coming to see me while I'm at uni."

Your eyes shot back and forth from Hobie and the professor who looked at the both of you with sparkling curiosity. Even the small remainder of the otherwise consistently disinterested students were all looking at you. Dressing alternatively, you were used to people staring, but now you just felt embarrassed, as if even talking to him was the equivalent of making out in the middle of the room.

"You told me when your classes were yourself," Hobie reminded you with a little smirk, picking up on your embarrassment.

"No but-" you huffed. "this is harassment-"

"You know, I'll leave if you tell me to?" He teased, back straight, hands in his pockets. "You can say it, sweetheart. I believe in you. Say 'Go home, Hobie Brown'!"

You glared at him, yet no sound dared to leave your throat.

"C'mon babe, say it," he leaned forward challenging your gaze.

Both of you held it there for a couple of seconds. A pin could drop in that classroom and everybody would hear it.

Finally, after that afore-mentioned warmth reached your cheeks and had become visible to all, you broke.

"You like dunkin'?" You muttered, walking towards the door. You swore you could hear some students chuckle or gasp, and you wanted to get out as quickly as possible.

Hobie whistled and followed, just a few steps behind you, never actually invading your personal space until you were ready, "Asking me on a date? Now, that's bold,"

"It's not a date. But you ARE buying. I want a smoothie. And a donut, of course."

"Taking advantage of me now babe?"

"And why shouldn't I? If you're going to cling to me like a magnet, I might as well make use of you." You briefly stopped, and Hobie nearly walked into you. You peered up at him, batting your lashes. "You know I really don't know what you see in me. Maybe you better run home while you're ahead."

"Depends," Hobie said, ecstatic every time you took his bait. "Will you be going with me?"

-----------

Two fics in one day??? What is going on. Anyways hope you enjoyed, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK, don't be shy to talk to me lol

You know as someone who's aro ace spec, I find an escape in fictional characters and the idea that they could be the ones to finally sweep me off my feet and get me to feel some type of attraction. It sounds cringy and emberassing, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it. If you're like me then I hope this scratched some kind of itch for you lol.

[yuukei-yikes]

Hey vinnie! Really love your comics! I was wondering, what's your process when it comes to drawing them? Do you come up with dialogue first or draw the figures and piece together the dialogue, and how do you go about doing layouts?

this ask reminded me i have a whole ass "process vid" of THIS COMIC from over a year ago where u can see exactly what i do to plan that comic lol this is embarrassing i never thought id share it so do NOT be mean

i was curious myself how it looked which is why i made it heh this is 50 min of footage in almost 2 mins and idk why my superhero movie is the song of choice this is from a while ago OK... u can see i literally have no idea what im doing i just DOODLE i just go for it

i talk some more under the cut i <3 art but i am a serial doodler

i use the power of imagination a whole lot bc i have a pretty busy life so when i get an idea im like working it out in my mind as i live my normal ass life. when i actually do sit down to make it, first i sketch it all and will usually write certain bits in each "page"

its pretty similar. but as u can see i tend to skip some dialogues that im like. meh ill figure it out later. i just write what i know i wanted to add. and then i figure out the rest when i get to it, or i even change up what i already got, which results in it not being super planned. for example here i made ayano repeat "this is something..." in both her dialogues and i didnt realize until i finished and read the whole thing over but i was lazy to change it heh... but that was bc i write as i go and u can tell in mistakes like that.

as for layouts... erm i barely make actual layouts. this is kind of the same process for everything LOL except sometimes i feel like making actual boxes to put the characters in, but otherwise u can see that the majority of my comics are just all over the place like this. during the sketch i do separate it but then i try to divide it with only the speach bubbles. the layout where i put little boxes is when i dont mind making many pages, bc it fits less stuff.

otherwose i tend to do stuff like this:

which looks a lot more crowded. the reason is, i post here and on twitter (more amphibia on twitter) and since u have a limited amount of pics u can post (here in tumblr it used to be 10 pics), i wanted to fit as much as possible in only 1 page so it wouldnt be too many pics, and it morphed into this sort of layout that i became used to.

im a Go For It kinda guy when it comes to drawing. i like doodling and sketching and going with whatever i got first. the only reason i dont start the comic right away and even do the sketching first is bc i want to figure out where ill put everything, not so much bc im worried abt the art looking better in one or the other. as u can see the art is very similar in both cases

[presidentkamala]

New Year's resolutions blogging

POSITIVE GOALS: Trying to make these more measured & achievable in a chill way. Like my marker for "achievement" in the new year is below the earth's surface lmao. Im trying not to be too ambitious with most goals but still feel like im making progress, and im specifically trying for goals that will get me offline and that are abt improving my focus and spending time doing deep work

practice and improve my cursive by the end of 2025: create a writing sample on jan 1st, target regular practice for at least 30 minutes 4 times a week, and then recreate the writing sample quarterly

Journal weekly. Goal is 52 entries minimum by the end of the year

Learn to draw a bird (lol). Either take a (free!!) class or check out an audobon to practice. Pick a bird and draw it in the start of the year, and quarterly. Be able to draw one from a few different angles. Bonus points for color

Exercise: this ones tricky because i either go super hard or do nothing and now im too OLD to treat my joints this way. I guess the idea is to get SOME form of physical activity every day for 30 minutes that ISNT walking bc i already average abt 4 miles a day all told and i could just walk forever once i get started. At first I was like. Ok maybe i should commit to the bar method or lifting or doing a c25k program, but honestly thee minute i lock in for more than a week i start getting frustrated & bored lmao. Classpass?? But that means WAY too much active management & planning on my end. Maybe 75 soft???? Except i would definitely tweak it if i do it.

Complete a single, long term volunteering project. More to come on this im thinking less of organizing and more of like a more engaged involvement with a local initiative or something. Either Immigration or Reproductive Health (por que no los dos but im trying to goal set REALISTICALLY lmaoo)

NEGATIVE GOALS: so I have 5 goals i want to dedicate my time to which means that time is going to have to come from somewhere. These are things i have GOTT to stop doing:

SCREENTIME SCREENTIME SCREENTIME.....its embarrassing. Its atrocious. My daily screentime is nearly all the time im awake, bc i keep putting on youtube vids to keep me company or using youtube to listen to music or im at work or im watching tv. Im not even really on any other socials im literally just.....trying to stay distracted so i dont have to be with my own thoughts for any amt of time bc (tmi incoming) if i spend more than 5 minutes in silence i burst into tears lol. Anyway the goal here is to give myself a 3 hr limit for youtube and tv per weekday (i know i know but i have a 2 hr round trip commute to work and a lunch hr thrown in there). This doesnt include audiobooks, workout vids, or music/podcasts

NO MORE APPS. I have moved past the need for apps. NO more doordash, no more Uber. Im going to just freaking call ahead to the taxi company if i need to get to the airport. When i travel for work im good w a rented car and when i travel for fun i am RARELY doing anything that isnt available via public transit/walking. This just for moral and financial reasons has to be cold turkey. Im doordashing like an insane person recently and even though i always tip generously i just need to refocus on my intake.

NEWS: this ones tricky bc i keep going back and forth w myself. Do I risk being less informed if Im not keeping tabs on what are sure to be pretty horrific and impactful headlines? But then its like, unless im actively involved with a group or org that's gearing to take a certain policy on, do i NEED to hear about every unhinged tweet or intention from trump??? Could I be better served paying more attention to how my state & local gov are impacted, or on the nature of the actual legislation that passes??? If Trump DOES gut the civil service, do EYE, an 8 year federal worker with a pretty good understanding about the various agencies and departments, need to hear exactly about how bad things will be? Like i guess its like. Is looking away a capitulation? Is forcing myself to take in this stuff and re-open the wounds of horribleness count as bearing witness in a meaningful way. Im reading abt the german resistance and even without top of the minute instantaneous posts abt every fresh demonic as hell genocidal thing hitler was doing they were able to organize and plan a response different place and time but like????? I just need a plan for how to interact w media moving forward.

SODA. Goodbye, forever. Its such a bad habit but i AM. A beverage drinker if nothing else but im getting OFF this year on GOD. except for olipop/poppi which eye knowwww isnt that much better but they DO have fiber at least so theres that. No soda but yes to occasional juices coconut water herbal teas and ofc flavored carbonated water.

HERMITIZING. i caNNOT keep not seeing any friends or ppl not blood related to me for days and days. No spending 7 days straight or more without seeing or hanging out irl with a friend or friends. No matter what. Its making me too WEIRD and FRAGILE.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being upset with my mother for making me change my clothes before my little sister's birthday party?

I (15f) own two tank top dresses that I got from Old Navy. One is like a blue tie-dye watercolor, and the other is a camo one. Now I rarely wear dresses because I like pants and shorts better, but I thought it'd be nice to "dress up" for my little sister's 10th birthday party. So, I decided to wear my camo one because I was told green is "my color" by multiple people, and the blue one reminds me too much of the 4th of July.

(Both of them are decent modest dresses, the length of the skirt goes below my knees, and the straps are at least two fingers wide. So it's nothing inappropriate for kids party or something like that)

So, I throw on the dress and a pair of jean shorts underneath so I can put my phone in my back pocket during the party, and go about my day.

(Now, before the story continues, it is important to note that I usually use my two dresses as nightgowns,

1. Because they're comfy

And 2. Because, again, I don't normally wear dresses during the day, preferring pants/shorts with a shirt instead.)

As the day goes on, my mother keeps saying I need to change out of my pj's and into something different, and I keep trying to tell her that I'm not wearing as a nightgown today but as a dress, but she keeps walking away before I can properly expain. This happens a few times throughout the morning, going into the afternoon. Until I'm helping out in the kitchen to help make food before all of the guests arrive.

And my mother asks "is that what you're wearing?" I answered "yes" and she just kind of looks me up and down and says something along the lines of " mmkay! I guess it just looks weird to me because Im used to you using it as a nightgown." Which I completely understand because I usually do, I just decided not to today.

I think the matter of my dress has been dropped and get back to cooking. While waiting for a pot of water boil, I stand next to a counter in the kitchen listening to my mom and a friend of hers who showed up early talk. But when my mom's friend turns away for second, my mom turns to me and says, "i really think you should go change before the other guests arrive. You look like you're wearing a nightgown" with a slightly disappointed look in her eye (which translates to 'you should be embarrassed of yourself, and I look kind of sloppy' in mom-speak).

And I'm a little taken a back by this and whisper "no it doesn't" feeling a but hurt, because I thought I actually looked kind of nice, and I usually dont thinnk that about myself. Plus, no one else had said anything, so I thought I looked fine to everyone else too, but apparently not?

My mom just kind of says, "mmkay" with the same disappointed look on her face and goes back to cooking. I just kind of stand there for a second, trying to figure out whether I should go change or not. And I being the people pleaser that I am obviously chooses the former, and goes to change asking my grandmother to watch the boiling water while I do so. Then I come back and get back to cooking.

While changing, I kind of teared up a bit and went on a mini rant in my head. My hurt morphing into anger at my mom, and her statement. And I'm not entirely sure why? And now I feel super guilty about being angry at her at all.

But, idk? I'm probably being over dramatic! Honestly, I think I just needed to get this out there since I obviously can't tell anyone. They'll just think it's stupid! (Which it is, lol)

So, AITA for feeling the way I did?

What are these acronyms?

[themolldollincident]

intoxication/public play fantasy

ugh when i get high it takes absolutely nothing to make me so horny i can't control myself. like it's straight up dangerous lol. if i get too high at a party, and my partner just teasingly brushes her fingers along my thigh, i go from zero to 100 so fast. i fantasize about her giving me a really strong edible and taking me to a party, and when she sees my eyes start to get red and notices me laughing louder and more, she just gently brushes her hand across my pussy over my clothes. my clit starts throbbing immediately, and before i can even realize what's happening im soaking wet and almost shaking from desire. she leans over and whispers that if im a good little slut i'll stand up and take off my clothes for her. i realize what's going on, and i try to protest. i whisper back (way louder than i think i'm being because i can't control the volume of my voice when im high) and i beg her not to do this now because im high and i dont know what i'll do. she's making me so horny and i dont want to do something humiliating because im horny and stupid. she whispers back that she can't believe im such a slut i can't take a little teasing without stripping naked and begging to be fucked. she says if i want more i'll do whatever she says. i know i shouldnt because there are all these people here, but im so high that i can't control myself and i stand up and start to strip for her. everyone's staring at me and can't fucking believe what's happening, and i know i'll die of embarrassment remembering this later, but right now i just desperately need her to fuck me, i'll do anything for it. before i know it im standing in the middle of the party naked and so fucking high and so fucking horny, and everyone is just staring in shock. she tells me to straddle her and i do. she pulls me in, grabbing my ass and shoving her tongue down my throat. she flips me over so i'm laying on the couch, legs spread and already shaking. she traces her finger against my clit and i tremble, unable to contain my moans even though i can feel everyone's eyes on me. i can't help but thrust my clit into her hand, desperate for more, but she pulls her hand away, always keeping it just barely on my pussy. she makes fun of me for how horny and pathetic i am, and i feel so unbearably humiliated but that only turns me on more, and i can't stop it. everyone is just staring in shock as i get more and more horny until ive turned into a dumb slut who can't think of anything but being pleasured, thrusting against her hand and begging for more in front of everyone. i could just push her away and get up and put my clothes back on and leave, but when im so horny i can't do anything until she lets me cum. i beg her to let me cum so the humiliation can end, but she doesn't want that. she keeps me soaking wet and pathetic, squirming and moaning on the couch for hours, and then she finally tells me ive been a good slut and she thinks i deserve to cum. at first im so grateful, but then i realize the only thing that could humiliate me more than this is being forced to cum in front of all these people, moaning and screaming and twitching with pleasure. I beg her not to make me cum in front of all these people, but she wont stop and the pleasure is just rolling over me in waves, making me feel more drunk and high than i already am. i weakly try to push her hand away, but she grabs my wrists and shoves them against the couch, and im helpless as she pumps my swollen clit in and out of her fingers. the orgasm overwhelms me, and im screaming and writhing against her hand, my clit twitching with oversensitivity as she continues to pump my clit. i know i'll regret all of this later, but the weed and the alcohol makes me so horny that i'm already needing more even though my clit is so sensitive from the first orgasm. i know i'll be pinned here begging to be fucked and doing whatever she tells me all night. and now everyone else at the party is also getting ideas about what they might want me to do on this second round...

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

4/8/2024 eclipse notes

Overall it was a hopeful day for me despite the ever-looming sense of mourning. but the eclipse made it feel special. this eclipse was so mathematically rare because of the exact EXACT chiron conjunction. down to the minute. never experienced something so precise in my 15 yrs observing astrology.. i lit a candle for sammy & spent a while praying then did yoga n journalled outside as the eclipse waned. u couldnt see the full thing here but i saw a little ^.^

i've talked about chiron on the blog b4 but if ur not sure basically it's a major asteroid named after chiron the centaur, "The Wounded Healer". i feel that nickname sums up wat chiron's about, it's your deepest pain, isolation, rejection, & it's where your greatest potential to heal others (+yourself) can be brought forth. so chiron was turbo-activated today. it's digging up a lot of sh** for me truly. like this is rly crazy. but what i realized today is that i'm in the best place i've ever been to grieve, that was my eclipse revelation i spose.

and this is the most painful loss i have experienced in a loooong long time bcus this was someone i spoke to basically every day for the past year. but even then, i feel sm more equipped to get thru it , even if i feel rly quiet rn & not like myself, i kno it'll pass & i'll feel like i can be normal again. dnt feel much like posting rn but i'll get back to it eventually cus sammy rly loved my blog like sincerely i never felt embarrassed that he read my posts. although i do feel this is causing me another minor crisis over internet usage & how to exist online, i know i have to keep posting for sammy P..

yeah ahh the sadness comes in waves but im really glad i am where i am rn to process it all. it's weird to know this will impact my whole life going forward. it makes me think back to sain;t's death and how that changed the course of everything. except back then i was in the WORST environment to cope with it. it's so different now. saint's full name was saint chiron too !! so i always think of them when new chiron sky theatrics are happening. i'm like Awww Saint Wouldve loved writing a 10 paragraph introspective post about this ...They trained me in this manner :>

couldnt resist a late night ramble as i am ever so restless. tomorrow i have therapy for the first time since the day before denji ate a ziploc bag and got emergency surgery. i think that was like 3? weeks ago?? so basically i'm convinced time isnt real anymore because there's no way it hasn't been 3 months. rapid fire trauma lol o_o like please wonderful lord in heaven can we just pick, a struggle , one single struggle is enough. tysm. thats all for now.. trying not to scroll the dash because everything make me feel too crazy rn so pls dont think im ignoring u everyone Ok ilu.. gn

[mysteryanimator]

Watch it here :D

(heads up for any odd grammar, Grammarly cannot save me from my dyslexia)

I was originally not going to do a breakdown of this because a lot of my breakdowns and thought processes were getting really repetitive (also i was getting embarrassed by them HAHSDASHBDS). BUT boy oh boy this time around I can actually go "wait i can yap without being repetitive here, maybe, idk, we never know until i write it out."

STORYBOARD/ANIMATIC:

It was really fun to adapt AquliaofArkham's fic into a visual format! This is the specific section I had set out to visualize!

(Yes I only did thumbs for that section and freeballed the rest whoops, y'all do not follow by example, i didn't think i was getting this far tbh)

When translating this from written to visual, there were some key points I wanted down:

They are really really close to each other and the barrier between each other is SO thin, but the air is still super thick

visual eye breathing room compressed???

Is having stillness a way to convey that ???

We are following Mizrak's POV, ergo focus on what Mizrak is focusing on, where is his mind going

hold shots for longer???

limited movement due to Mizrak's hyperfocus???

Make shots intentionally heavily detailed ???

Zoom into details???

As much as I am passionate about storyboards, I do tend to get ahead of myself and end up locking myself into lots of close ups HAHAH. I like having each shot matter to me a lottttt so i end up reverting to reusing a lot of super common shot archetypes due to their attached meanings (I'd love to attend/watch some workshops on this, but uni ;-; i'll be free soon dwdw).

By the way, you will notice the animation is longer then the timed storyboard/animatic. This is because I retimed to placeholder dialogue (which y'all will NOT HEAR THATS EMBARRASSING, i dont need ppl to hear me yell clatter lol). Fun fact I originally had it in the first storyboard to help me with timing and then removed it half way through? Not sure why I did that, but regardless I came back around and retimed it so that the length of each shot feels believable enough to hold dialogue and has enough time to be visually digested by you guys.

ANIMATION:

This was a doozy, not because I found the animation hard, this time I actually was satisfied-ish with most of the end result and started implementing different approaches to the animation from all kinds of media; which was my issue LOL. My understanding of animation changed midway through. I can super distinctly see two different approaches, probably because I slipped into that naturally while having animated shows/movies while doing this and I can probably pin point to you which shots was influenced by what show.

First all dialogue and walking forward: rewatched TLOVM b4 season 3 dropped, which by this point is already out, (uh also Nocturne. again HAHAH)

WHICH, you'll see here, two different set ups were taken LOL (also oof you're seeing my setup). Personally, I like keeping my animation folders to the utmost minimum (so like the right! Olrox's folder is a whole character, separate moving bits like lips or even earrings will be in that one folder) because scrolling through can get a tad overwhelming and daunting, BUT, Olrox walking forward had so many small moving pieces with different timings that multiple animation folders was the best way to handle itttttt.

I feel like I only really care abt this BUT FILE MANAGEMENT IS IMPORTANT AAA. You should've seen my file management this time last year, actually horrific, but I'm so glad I figured out how to be cleaner, in turn speeding up my process. (which honestly was just thanks to being thrown into a studio environment and going "Oh my god so that's what I should be doing" and picking up things I noticed from other animators, which genuinely my learning comes from picking me up and throwing me into the deep end)

Secondly, Olrox arm and a scrapped walking scene: I was watching Prince of Egypt (literally that whole week, planning to rewatch again lmao), Sinbad, Road to El Dorado, and then work from Modernday James, Toniko Pantoja, Edward Kurchevsky

Fun fact, the very first walking was intended to be animated, and i redid it about four times before scrapping it completely. The first three iterations i didn't save because they were sooo clunky . It made me realize I gotta revisit my principles again I'm rusty (and i do LOLOLOL). I scrapped the anim because it did not flow into the next shot nicely but, It was good practice regardless HAHA

While mentally I feel like none of the shots match each other, they still do have some cohesion to one another

COMPOSITING:

The new thing, finally manually did the edge shadows in CSP HAHAH.

I will say this too, I got really nervous atp about the overall "quality" of the anim + the backgrounds. I was getting super hung up over it because I was alr worried abt the animation due to the safer choices I made (but also, I don't have to reinvent the wheel LMAO). SO, when I got to comping it was like "oh actually its actually fine LOL".

i stayed pretty sketchy with these since i was getting way too worried about it and wanted this to stay as a fun side project, also these are without comping- they become way more purple with compositing LOL

I feel like here too I ended up doing less then what I normally do, which I think mighttt be on part to finding more efficient ways to go about compositing things together (and faster too).

Also, I definitely got pushed into trying to lower the layer amount when I saw a tweet about layer efficiency/layer stacks and them mentioning applying Mattes and CC Composite. Actually a godsend, I didn't realize I could combine my effects like that to lower the amount.

Also, I swear no amount of precomping can save me from this. There's probably a better way to go abt this um LOL, everyone is getting a peep at my file management.

Also, I'm realizing I could've done a tad more with the actual composition itself, like the placement and movement of Olrox in the scene where he's walking forward. For now I have to leave it, because also, the intent for this one was to have fun rather then making every anim an exercise or else I'd burn out so fast LOL

Side tangent but, I've been digging my heels into the animation school club workshops on youtube rn due to having a moment with the scrapped Olrox side walk. Which holy shit, things have clicked for me, so I'm going to try and do more rough exercises b4 i do another finished anim again. It turned a light bulb in my head LMAO, and it pushed me to do the recent maria anim and mizrak and olrox kiss which has a massively greater understanding of timing and confidence LMAO

Ok now this is To Love a God finished! Another animation done :DDDDDD I'm super happy to be adapting a fanwork, it's always really fun and super exciting to bring other people's stuff to life, which what made this more enjoyable then anything else.

Will I do another polished anim before next year/before s2? Time will tell but for now i rest and speed to finish another semester of uni (there is a high chance for another anim because of a joke tweet i did not expect to get traction lol)

Thank youuu if you stayed this far, this was really lengthy and i think i went into different unrelated tangents, so i hope you enjoyed me pulling you into different directions HAHAHA

p.s i uploaded this to youtube and theres an age restriction BECAUSE OF THE FEET. Not because Olrox tells Mizrak he would fuck him, no it's his FEET. I've tried to appeal it but cant do much LOLOLOL

[ttaibhse]

i need to start up running again i haven't been in ages and i feel shitty about it but i still just don't really want to. especially now it's getting colder lol i like running in cool weather but when it's actually cold not as much. i was getting so bored of it idrk why i guess because i was running out of new routes to do... i hate running along the road and the thought of adding more distance which basically would mean adding more time on the road or just mindless loops of the parks wasn't really motivating lol. and i felt like i stopped making progress. and then i got sick and the pain in my back/hips came back for a while. and to be honest i was/am just disappointed that i wasn't losing any weight at least not perceptibly and obviously i was lying when i said the goal of it wasn't to lose weight lol. like not the only goal i did/do also want to just be a fitter and more active person and not let my bones crumble into dust by middle age whatever but ultimately i want to lose weight and it just wasn't happening. even though i wasn't intentionally eating much more to make up for the extra activity but i probably was doing it without meaning to. like admittedly there were definitely times i would be like oh i can have a bit more i did a big run today. not all the time but enough i guess. i feel like shit i hate being this size & shape i miss being skinny and the more time passes with me not being skinny it gets harder to remember the negatives that came with it. like i look back now and i know i was always cold and exhausted and obsessed with food and my whole life revolved around it like i know all that but i looked so much better -_- my clothes looked nicer. if someone took a photo of me i only had to worry about hating my face not my body as well. or not as much at least lol i always hated it i guess. but omfg my face even looks worse now because its just doughy. i cant stand it. i cant believe how fucked up i look lol

i hate writing posts like this i sound so cookie cutter stereotypical ED girl. it's so so embarrassing i can't stop feeling like this at nearly 28. im 28 in like 10 days and the first time i remember consciously deciding to stop eating to lose weight i was 10 or 11. my mum still seems to have genuinely blocked out the memories of it like any of it even though we talked about it at several different points in time when i was a teenager and i said to her what was going on and she was so angry with me like furious with me. and then again when i was an adult and just said outright because i knew i had put on weight over lockdown and i knew she thought i had just lost control of myself because she said so to my sister

so i said to her like look i was only really thin in uni because i was in like a 1.5k calorie deficit every single day. there were days i would stand up at the end of a lecture and almost black out lol so i said all that maybe 3 or 4 years ago was the last time i brought it up icr but still if the topic of eating disorders or similar comes up she will say things like "i hope youve never felt that way" LMFAO like full sincerity i swear to fucking god i dont understand. but anyway its not a great feeling knowing she thinks im fat because i just dont take care of myself. even though it is true i suppose. and every time i see my granny she comments on my weight. so anyway all that to say that's how i know it's true and it's not just in my head

like i can acknowledge that back in the day when i was something like 55kg and still thought i was huge that was some kind of dysmorphia involved. but not any more and it's just kind of a blow because i had finally started accepting this idea that i wasn't as big as i thought and now i am it's like i don't know like going backwards. like a nightmare come true or something it's literally all the bad thoughts i would have about myself are true now. i am that fat or even worse because i think i've been deluding myself i think i'm actually now bigger than i think i am. and i am lazy and eat badly and it still feels like my options are total lack of control or the tightest rein possible. theres no good middle ground i dont know how people find a middle ground. how do you eat normally lol. ive only ever been thin when i was barely eating + walking miles and miles every day AND on testosterone. i tried to do eating normally and now im so huge and i dont know what to do like logically i know there are people out there who have got it right so why cant i get it right