#BUT THE ALIENS ARE LITERALLY JUST TRYING TO DOMESTICATE YOU

[a-lewd-rat]

Terra Invicta, or, "What if that one 4X game from that one very specific hdg fanfic was a real game."

[thedragonboi]

Humans evolved to be friend!!!

Probably stupid but hear me out:

• We try to pet/make friend with everything

• several different species are documented to have raised abandoned/lost humans (famously wolves, but monkeys, parrots, cats and more have raised humans)

• animals that can harm/kill us typically leave us alone (cougars don’t tend to attack unless there’s kittens around, black bears are small but they can 100% kill you if they wanted but they just kinda go away, orcas are smart enough and big enough to hunt us if they wanted to but there’s 0 wild cases of death by orca)

• there are species that are so chill with humans they literally domesticated themselves

• humans get an oxytocin boost when we see cute things, we want to be friend!!!! (Cute is subjective, some people see bugs as creepy some see bugs as friend, there’s always someone who sees something as friend!!)

• we don’t have the best natural defence or offence meaning we ride a lot on “you don’t bother me I don’t bother you” cause idk about you but I got nothing if a horse decides it’s my time to go (yeah we can build armor and weapons but we have to actively make and use them, we don’t come ready made with a suit of metal armor)

In conclusion, I’m very convinced that if we find sentient alien life either they’d find us non threatening at worst, actively adorable and cuddly at best

[robbinghisdick]

"Good afternoon, baby boy!" Wade cheerily greets, swinging himself over the back of the couch and dropping himself hard into Logan's lap. The older man grunts slightly, but doesn't push Wade off as the man pulls up his mask just enough to plant an exaggerated kiss on his cheek. "Where have you been all day?"

Now that he had gotten a good look at Logan's face... something was off.

Logan was quiet for a moment, considering. "Well, you know how I've been feeling sick lately?" He asked. Pain was nothing new for him. The weight of his bones and poison from the adamantium made sure to keep his body in some level of pain. One thing his healing factor prevented was illness. If he managed to get sick, he didn't stay sick for very long.

"Yeah and I said, "you should get that checked out" and you grumbled and whined like a dog being taken to the vet?"

Logan rolled his eyes and continued, "Well, turns out I'm pregnant."

It was one of those rare times Wade was rendered silent. The mask also made it annoyingly impossible to get a good read on his face.

Wade, meanwhile, was trying to gauge whether or not this was a good thing. Logan didn't seem particularly happy.

"How the fuck did we manage that?" Wade asked. "I mean, it's not like my cancer ridden body makes healthy little swimmers and you said the adamantium poisoning rendered you infertile."

"According to the doc, unless I literally don't have a uterus, there's always a freak chance," Logan sighed, leaning heavily back into the couch and running his hands over his face. "It doesn't matter either way. We can't have a baby."

Logan waited to see if Wade would agree or disagree with him. He found himself half tempted to rip the mask off so he could get a better read on him.

Who's to say the baby would even make it to term, and what then if it did? Have two dads who's lives were marked by death and tragedy? Two guys with a list of enemies a mile long and would target a kid without thinking twice? Their lives were messy and dangerous, they couldn't bring a kid into that.

There were a million reasons why they shouldn't bring a baby into the world, but that was all too much weight for Wade. "I mean, you're right, but like, what if it develops the wolverine claws in the womb and bursts out of your stomach alien-style? That'd be kinda cool."

Logan's nose crinkled in disgust, nearly shuddering at that mental image. "That's horrific, thanks."

Wade just grinned, cupping Logan's face with both hands and kissing him.

"But seriously, whatever you think is best."

...

Later that night, Logan stared up at the ceiling fan, the blade whirling at full blast because Wade insisted on snuggling despite how hot both of them ran. He was splayed out like the world's most clingy starfish, head on Logan's chest. It was clear he was still awake too as one of his fingers idly tracing over Logan's arm. This quiet, domestic routine had become the norm.

When Logan thought about it, they were truly in a better place than they had ever been before. Logan had a home and family. The mansion was a home, but this one was his. One he chose to share with Wade. He had friends who loved him, a partner that stuck with him no matter how grumpy he got. Hell, he wasn't even drinking or smoking as much as he used to.

There were still battles and hardships, but never before had there been such a strong sense of support and community.

Logan was... happy.

"Wade?"

"Hm?"

"I..." he trailed off, unsure. "I think I actually want to have the baby." He couldn't particularly explain it. For years he fought against being put in a fatherly role when it came to all the young mutants he had met and looked after. Somehow, though, the thought of going on that journey of parenthood with Wade actually seemed kind of exciting. He loved that man more than he'd ever be able to put into words.

Wade sat up so fast it made Logan flinch.

"Oh thank FUCK!" He exclaimed, reaching over and turning on the bedside lamp while he straddled Logan's lap. His eyes pratically sparkled as he looked down at Logan. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," Logan stared back up, surprised. "Wait, you wanted to keep the baby?"

"Of COURSE I want to have a little baby wolverine with you!" Wade waved his hands as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Like, yeah I think we're probably not the best parent material in the world and Jesus the CHRIST is it terrifying, but I wanna be dad."

"Why the fuck did you not say anything earlier?!"

"I'm not the one carrying it!" Wade shot back. "Besides, I never thought I'd have kids anyways, so not exactly a deal breaker, sweetheart." He patted Logan on the cheek. "Also, you know how many orphaned and abandoned mutants we run into? We always had a chance. If only Laura were younger, coulda started there."

Laura was an adult by the time Wade came into Logan's as a romantic partner. She was still young, but not a kid that needed parents to look after her.

"So... we're gonna have a baby?" Wade asked, a grin on his face.

"We're gonna have a baby."

Wade surged forward to kiss Logan, enthusiasm rubbing off on him as he smiled against Wade's lips. His face was peppered with more kisses and whispered "God I love you so much."

When Wade calmed down a fraction, Logan had to bring him down a bit more. "I'm only a few months along, we don't know if the baby will even make it," he reminded him. So many things could go wrong it was terrifying.

"Nope! This little guy--gender neutral--is a little fighter!" Wade insisted, hand splaying over Logan's stomach. They're gonna make it and be beautiful, and then we get to name them something cool!"

Logan scoffed but couldn't keep the smile off his face. "We're not naming the baby after any of your cartoons."

"You are absolutely no fun," Wade pouted. "I'll sneak something by ya."

Logan just pulled Wade down into another kiss to shut him up.

...

((They name her Allura, from Voltron lmao.

Writing this has made me incredibly sad for reasons I'll say if asked, but decided not to say so y'all don't just get randomly sucker punched.

This is NOT movieverse, exactly, but just a vague timeline. Movieverse poolverine end up with the kid tho. Which you can read here.

ALSO YES I KNOW THIS IS THE 3RD BABY AU ON THIS ACCOUNT. I have problem. I don't even want kids 😭))

[eldritchamy]

What if a rebel spy was sent to infiltrate a hotel full of Affini and doped up florets and other Affini Compact members, only to run into someone she never thought she'd see again, and then she has to try to maintain her cover AS A FAKE FLORET HOTEL MAID while absolutely teetering on the edge of REAL domestication until there's an ELABORATE kink scenario where she gets hypnotized into being a mindlessly obedient free use maid doll in front of the entire hotel where it turns out literally everyone knew she was a spy the whole time and thinks it's hilarious how bad she is at NOT being a floret, and then she and her girlfriend erotically betray each other into domestication?

Wouldn't a story like that be WILD?

Like the SETTING of Human Domestication Guide is, at face value, a nonconsensual medical/drug play alien mind control scifi horror setting where the POV characters always "lose". Just, that's what the premise of the universe is.

You either find that concept hot or you don't.

But this story plays out like a dramatic spy thriller comedy romance (with traumatic backstory nightmares), and I LOVE that the setting makes wildly different genre stories like that possible.

Anyway the fic is called

The Grand Folia Hotel by keysmasht

Heed the trigger warnings for this one, the POV character has some religious trauma that is mostly explored through dream scenes.

[prying-pandora666]

Newer fandoms are so embarrassing in what bizarre, argumentative, pearl-clutching, inflexible black-and-white thinkers they can be. And it can be easy to slip into this culture and normalize it, until you go to older fandoms and realize just how much more CHILL fandom can be!

Like you go over to ATLA and people are like “Ew, you ship a traumatized and exploited teen soldier with the teen combatant from the opposite side!? What are you, a psychopath!?”

Meanwhile you go over to the LOTR/Silmarillion/Etc fandom and people are like “I ship literal Satan of this universe with his second in command lieutenant who has a history of being a shape shifting furry, and I hope they live a happy domestic life in hell where they torment the world together 💖” and everyone’s just like “yo drop a fic link!” or otherwise ignores it if it isn’t for them.

Then you go back to ATLA and it’s like “ACKSHULLY you shouldn’t feel bad for villain characters regardless of their circumstances otherwise you are an abuse apologist!”

Meanwhile LOTR is like “ACKSHULLY this accursed wretch of a creature corrupted beyond salvation is my baby and I cry for him nightly” and everyone’s like “love that horrible little bastard!”

Then you go back to ATLA and now the fandom is arguing over whether the genocide surviving 12 year old pacifist monk is the REAL villain here!?? For the crime of… having a crush? I guess? On a girl in his peer group who is shown to return his feelings???

Meanwhile LOTR fandom is like “Okay sure, he’s an incel who wanted to force his cousin into his bed and we all condemn that. But can we discuss the diaspora and alienation he must’ve felt as a half dark elf, different from others on sight, fed from an early age by his father that the Noldor were hypocrites and kinslayers, only for your father to come after you and your mother when you try to escape him, and he tries to KILL you, only for your mother to jump in the way and die, therefore proving your father right that the Noldor city is corrupting as he himself has now become a kinslayer! And now they’re both dead and you wonder every day if beneath his love for you, your uncle secretly resents what you are. How can he not? You are your mother’s son, but you are cursed to look like your father.”

ATLA fandom can’t even admit Iroh was once a war-mongering imperialist who believed in the war just as much as his forefathers.

Meanwhile LOTR fandom is out here writing essays about how the very same fluidity of our hearts that makes us easily corruptible also makes us capable of redemption, no matter how far gone.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Domestic Dream: Love Beyond the Shadows

Bayverse!Donatello x reader

My Domestic Dream with Raphael quickly became one of my top posts, so I thought why not make one for each of our favorite boys? So I now present to you; Domestic Dream Donatello Edition!💜

Warnings: Spelling.

—----------------------------------------------

The soft glow of city lights reflected off the damp walls of the sewers as Donatello made his way up the ladder towards the manhole cover leading to the surface. But tonight was different. Tonight, he would step out of the shadows and into the unfamiliar world above, a world that belonged to you and your family.

It had been planned for a long time now. Donatello was going to meet your family. Your mother had been asking you for months now; when were they going to meet this Donatello you had been speaking so much of?

At first Donnie was actually supposed to have met your family last week. The whole thing was planned. He would be there with you in your apartment when your family came over, and navigate through whatever reactions they would throw at him. But crime never slept, so when Leonardo called him an hour before your family was about to arrive, telling him that police chef Vincent had requested their service for an emergency, he had to leave. He had apologized to you several times, but you weren’t mad at him. You had been honest with our parents, and told them that he worked with the police and was called in for an emergency. You weren’t lying, that was literally what happened.

But your parents were now even more interested in meeting your mysterious cop boyfriend, pressing you even harder to find a date they could meet him. That would be exactly a week later at their place. Donatello couldn’t lie; it terrified him. He had already found the thought of meeting your family at your place scary enough, but the thought of going to their place was making him nauseous. At your place he at least felt a little comfortable. To him it was a second home, where he had spent several days and nights. Your parents' place was screaming danger at the poor tech genius.

Emerging from the manhole, Donatello found himself in a quiet alley where you stood, waiting patiently. The dim light revealed the warmth in your eyes as you smiled at him, reassuring the nervous turtle with just a glance. Donnie wasn’t sure if his knees felt weak because of the horrible feeling in his guts, or the fact that you were wearing his favorite dress. You greeted him with a warm smile, before standing on your toe tips to meet his lips in a small peck.

"Ready, Donnie?" you asked, reaching for his hand, feeling it shake ever so slightly in yours. He nodded, squeezing it gently, drawing strength from your touch. He couldn’t believe it. He had fought ninjas and aliens, yet the thought of meeting his girlfriend’s parents made him shake in terror.

Together, hand in hand, you made your way towards the fire escape that led to your family's apartment. As you approached the window to your parent’s living room, Donatello felt a mix of excitement and apprehension. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what lay ahead.

Upon entering through the window, your family was already gathered in the living room. The initial shock on their faces was evident, as Donnie followed you through the window, especially from your little sister who gasped and pointed.

"(Y/N), who... what is that?" she whispered to you. Donnie was trying hard to read her expression. Was she scared of him? No, it didn’t seem like it. She just looked, well, shocked.

"That's Donatello," you said, smiling at her, tugging Donnie’s hand closer to you. “My boyfriend. The one I told you about”.

“That is your cop boyfriend?”, your mother asked, looking cautiously at the purple clad turtle in her living room. At that moment Donnie wished he was smaller and didn’t take up so much space. His volume only made it easier to look at him.

“Well, he isn’t exactly a cop, but he does work with the NYPD”.

“Oh”, your father said, taken aback, positively? Donnie did not expect that. “Well, what do you do, Donatello?”

“W- well, me and my brothers provided the NYPD with help, t- typically in situations h- humans can’t handle t- themselves”. Fuck! Why did he stammer like that, and in front of (Y/N)’s parents of all?

“Wait! Were you part of that special task force that took care of the alien invasion?”, your father asked, lighting up like a Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.

“Uh, yeah. T- that was me and my brothers”. And with that the questions started flying from your mother, father and sister, all wanting to know the strangest of things, each with an interested smile on their faces.. Your big brother, however, had a scowl on his face, eyeing Donatello suspiciously. He still hasn't said a word to Donnie, causing the tall mutant turtle to wonder if he did something.

As the evening went on and the dinner was eaten, Donatello grew slightly more comfortable with your parents, enjoying a light conversation and small talk with them over the table. Your brother however, remained silent, watching Donnie with conscious eyes. Then finally, while you were talking with your parents about work, Donnie finally gathered up the courage to talk to your brother.

Donatello cleared his throat, stepping forward. "I understand I might look a bit... different, but I assure you, I mean no harm. I care about your sister a lot."

Your brother stared at him for a moment. “I’ll have to see that before I believe it”. And with that, your brother went to play with your sister on the carpet.

But over time, Donatello's genuine nature began to shine through. He helped your little sister with her homework, impressing her with his vast knowledge. Especially when it came to math. Your sister almost couldn’t believe that your boyfriend was a genius. Your heart felt warm as you watched the man you loved teach your little sister how to do her homework. And you also noticed how your brother would be standing in the doorway, watching the three of you.

Days turned into weeks, and Donatello became a regular part of your family's routine. Movie nights, dinners, and even the occasional game of charades—your family embraced him wholeheartedly. Love had triumphed over initial fear, and Donatello found himself not just a friend but an integral part of a human family who saw him for who he truly was. A kind hearted, smart guy that saw opportunities where most people didn’t. Even your brother couldn’t deny it. Not after he overheard the two of you talk about how your sister’s grades had gotten up, ever since Donnie started helping her. Neither did he miss the many times Donnie would help out your parents with various tech problems. Was their TV not working? He fixed it while your father brought in a six pack of beer for them to drink afterwards. Was your mother having trouble with her phone? He fixed that right after dinner, and even gave it the extra features she asked for. And your brother especially did not miss the time he saw Donnie stare at you instead of the movie the family had gathered to see. He did really care for you. Even your brother could see it. Donatello loved you. With that realization, your brother asked to talk to Donnie privately.

"I owe you an apology,  Donatello," your brother admitted, his gruff exterior softening. "I misjudged you, and I can see now that you genuinely care about my sister and the rest of us."

Donatello nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "I appreciate that. I really do. All I want is to protect and care for the people I love, and that includes your sister and all the people she love".

“I’m really glad to hear that”, your brother said. “I wanted to hear if you would watch the game with me this weekend. I think it is about time I get to know my sister’s boyfriend”.

“I would really like that”, Donnie said with a growing smile.

As the days turned into months, Donatello's bond with your family strengthened. Your big brother, once skeptical, became one of Donatello's closest allies. Game night became a regular thing between the two of them, and so did hours of video games online every so often. You’ll never forget the day Donnie came home from that first game night with the biggest smile on his face. He took your face in his and gave you a long deep kiss, before holding you close in a tight hug.

“Thank you”, he had told you. “I only thought these kinds of things happened in dreams”.

[xoxoemynn]

Fan Fic Friday!

I'm finally getting in the headspace to be able to read and enjoy fic and oh boy have I been enjoying it! Sharing a few that I've enjoyed reading this past week. For simplicity's sake I'm focusing just on completed works.

People Are Just People (Like You) by @trans-top-stede and @nonplayer-character (plus art!!) Holy shit. Holy shit. This story is stunning. This 24K fic (that also includes some wonderful art) shows Ed struggling to re-enter the world after the COVID lockdowns, all while drawing solace listening to a radio show for aliens. (Hmmm, wonder who could be hosting that?) There is pure, raw emotion baked into each and every word. The loneliness, the feeling of knowing it SHOULD be so easy to just do what you once did so easily but now it's HARD, the desperation, the hope, all while Ed just keeps trying. By the end I was weeping and just feeling in awe of all the little ways humans are simply there for each other, time and time again. I found this work deeply relatable, and I'm sure many others on here will as well. It's an absolute masterpiece and I can't stop thinking about it.

Red Skies at Night by @soupbtch Oh, this is a FUN one, even if I was literally screaming at my laptop for chapter upon chapter because OH MY GOD I KNOW I SAID I LOVE A SLOW BURN BUT WHY MUST THEY BURN SO SLOWLY WHY CAN'T THEY JUST KISS?!?!?! Anyway. Stede's a perfectly bitchy cruise critic, Ed's performing on said cruise ship, sparks fly. This 64K fic is the perfect blend of humor and tension and heartache and of course, a lot of romance. And some great sex. Danny did such a great job using beats from both S1 and S2 to tell a really beautiful story that had me grinning ear to ear nearly the entire time. (Again, nearly, because I also did a lot of screaming.) Absolutely fantastic.

True to Life by @ipomoea-batatas This summary ("Ed and Stede accidentally open an inn for ghosts") had me sold immediately. It's fluffy domestic fic. And a ghost. But not like a ghost that's going to be terrifying and murder you in your sleep, so don't worry if that's not your jam. Just a ghost with a backstory. This fic 28K is SO much fun, filled with impeccable banter that feels like Taika and Rhys just got set loose and were allowed to do whatever they wanted. A bit of a mystery, a bit of cozy domesticity, a lot of fun. Highly recommend.

Flotsam and Jetsam by @/anathxmadevice Looking for a quick read? This one's a little over 5K and is so absurdly lovely. Don't be fooled by the short word count; there are some Big Feels in this fic. Stede's a beachcomber, and Ed runs a pub, and naturally Ed is immediately charmed by Stede's excitement at finding some funky shells. I don't want to give away the ending, but suffice to say it basically left me the human embodiment of this emoji: 🥹. Just a beautiful little bite-sized fic. And there's also a podfic!

Pete & Prejudice by @shieldmaidenofmithrilhall Okay, here's something a little different! All of the above are Ed x Stede, but here's an absolutely charming 14K story about Lucius and Pete! (Although there are some truly adorable Ed x Stede moments in it as well.) Pete and Lucius are dating and everything is amazing, except once a year Pete disappears for "a thing," and now Lucius is determined to find out what it is. I can't say much more without spoiling it, but I will say I started smiling in the very first paragraph and by the time I was done my grin had basically reached my eyebrows. Absolutely perfect characterization, so sweet, so romantic, and some moments that literally made me laugh out loud. Be prepared to fall even more deeply in love with Pete.

[a-mint-bear]

I have some ideas for a fem yandere!!

Angel/Cupid female yandere who really does want the best for their darling but keeps the isolated due to them being jealous (they do feel really bad and apologizes repeatedly)

Pathetic Ceo female yandere who had feelings for darling ever since they were young and straight up head over heels for them. She’s cold to everyone else and harsh but as soon as darling comes into the room she’s the straight opposite

Monster/alien female yandere who just saw their first human ever and fell in love aka their darling

first off, thank you anon!!! im glad someone decided to suggest some ideas :3

these are neat! let's see...

1. with the angel/cupid yandere, i like the idea of a more ethereal yandere who is a creature usually associated with positivity having a jealous streak... might need to figure out which creature, tho. i like the idea of a literal angel tho, lots of ideas coming to mind there.

2. the ceo is an idea i played around with a little in the yandere girls post, but making her more cold/harsh with others but not her childhood sweetheart is appealing, trying to decide if the reader should be dating her or should thdy be her domestic partner, stay at home spouse kind of thing. more opportunities for yandere CEO lady to be possessive >:3c

3. the monster/alien one actually has me thinking of an oc i made YEARS ago , where it's a space marine-type who has an alien princess fall for them at first sight. she has a nasty streak when someone gets near her beloved "fiance". she floats, and her "hair" is actually more like a series of prehensile tendrils, she only looks like a pretty space elf of you're not paying attention lol

OLD art incoming:

i would also be into more monster yandere lady ideas, gotta do a vampire at the very least

thanks for all your suggestions! tons of ideas now :3 gotta start making a list

[meirimerens]

*runs up to you* thoughts on burakhovsky marriage? 🎤🎤🎤

Honey if you knew!!!! I'll try to make it quick because I'm making sims so typing over my laptop put on front of my keyboard (complicated). Actually let me do Wedding. Marriage is them exactly the same but post-that. And sleeping in the same bed under boddhos hospices but hopefully not her watchful eye.

Tldr yes. dankovsky has been 🙄🙄 about marriage his whole life out of the feeling of religious alienation for being gay + generally a contrarian + able to recognize the misogyny inherent to marriage as a religious institution which made him go [before he knew he was gay] well if I met a woman I wouldn't want to marry her that's cruel [literally doesn't matter he's gay]  + generally a liker of freedom inclined to dislike institutions. But also he never had an actual relationship before so his ass didn't care before. And also by virtue of being a marriage between two men, the religious (and tbf secular societal) misogyny of the woman being "passed down" from the father's to the husband's "property" to go from domestic labor in her parents house to domestic sexual and reproductive labor in her husbands Literally doesn't apply to them because gay wedding.

I think his mom is overjoyed at marrige she always wanted him to have a nice wedding so she's very happy. she's a bit nervous because he's marrying in a culture she doesn't know much about (and vice-versa for burakh tbf) and she's ankchus at how ceremony will go.

Dankovskys side of fhe family brings to the ceremony Armenian [mothers side] & Georgian [dads] traditions [not listing bc making it short so I can.go back to my sims] also dankovsky in chokha please. ooooh please. for his weddig day.

they need A Bunch of meetings with wardens and the brides (all that participate in the ceremony) to adjust the usual wedding traditions to like. two guys. esp. for the Kin traditions as motherhood - birth - rebirth are very important within that culture and like Not Happening Here Sorry. so a bunch of bits and pieces are rearranged, I'd imagine like blessings for the bride for beautiful children and safe childbirth are scraped and everyone is scratching their heads at what to replace them with [they end up finding its fine]. while it's not the first time the Kin has an out gay couple among them [duh] it's the first time its a Warden son of Menkhu and they have to make a big deal out of it. Methinks ceremony includes painting sigils on each others wrists and the herb brides bricker with Oyun like "oh my god you can keep that one it doubles as a potency charm" and burakh and dankovsky sitting there are just boiling inside [I drew an image of it once I did I did]

also dankovskys mom insists burakh and those who can stand in as family come drink the tea with them and share his intention to ask for her sons hand in marriage [even after having asked dankovsky + neither of them care about parents permission, it's exclusively to please dankovskys family esp his mam who's taking that from lhosk-arnel tradition]

Ceremony also includes stepping out to the steppe for private vows while the assembly turns around and coming back. then usually groom carries brides on a beautiful bull he'd have tame to the bridal house (typically honeymoon destination). dankovsky has to explain to his father who already struggled with him being gay earlier on in his life that "I'm not sitting on the bull because I'm the woman of the relationship, I'm sitting on the bull because I'm scared of it and it could crush my foot under its hoof" and his dad kind of looks at him a little fearful.

mom brings honeycakes. rubin burakhs best man/whatever they're called, peter is dankovsky, and he keeps making big wet eyes at rubin the whole ceremony (watch out)

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 29 - Roadside Picnic by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky

I very theoretically read a few of the Strugatsky Brothers’ short stories for a Soviet Lit class in school years ago, but this is actually the first one of their books I can say I actually read and, like, meaningfully paid attention to. I was likewise vaguely aware that this was a very influential book, but only in a kind of fuzzy ‘the STALKER games are based on it, right?’ sort of way.

All to say, I went in basically blind and was actually pretty pleasantly surprised. Both by the quality of the book and by the realization of how much more influential it has been than I had previously realized. The afterwards by one of the authors for the new edition with the tell-all rant about the publication process was also just fascinating in an entirely different way.

The story takes place in a world where at a certain point aliens made contact with earth – not with any sort of communication or even physical presence, but through some sort of process that left zones around the world warped and strange, full of physics-defying miracles and ten thousand different ways to die horribly or end up slowly mutated and wasting away. The story is set around a small town in probably-Canada that was one of the ground zeroes, and about Red, one of the freelance ‘stalkers’ who make a fortune evading the government quarantine and securing some of those physics-defying-miracles to sell to the highest bidder before the official scientists can slowly make their way to them.

Red does not have what you would call a happy life.

The story’s split into three sections, with significant time jumps between each one. Which I did rather like the effect of, seeing how the town changes from a half-abandoned ruin everyone thinks is a month away from demolition to a scientific boomtown and the long-term effects of exposure become more and more well known but don’t stop the rush to exploit the potential riches of the alien detritus one bit. It also allows for a better look at Red’s slow downward slide in both material circumstance and morality.

Red himself is interesting? He’s a very rough, brutish sort of man, the kind who jumps to threats of violence pretty easily when it comes to disputes where he thinks he’s in the right, who doesn’t have the temperament to hold down any sort of steady, boring job, and knows it, and who has a little bit of a complex about all those things. He tries to look out for his friends and comrades, and provide for his family, and that’s about the highest morality he aspires to. Hardly the most original archetype, but it’s very well-realized. No matter how viscerally unlikable he gets at points when you’re spending so long in the close confines of his head.

Speaking of complexes and guilt – one of his overriding motivations for the back 2/3 of the book is trying to provide for and cure his daughter who, almost certainly due to the weird alien radiation he’s saturated with, was born incredibly mutated (in a ‘has fur and is incapable of human speech’ sort of way). Which, again, kind of blunt instrument characterization but the book did do an excellent job getting across the constant low-level soul eating guilt and resentment that basically soaked through him about her and how that motivates just about every major choice he makes in the final act of the story.

And since I’m talking about characterization – look, I get that most of this is just the close POV to a guy whose a complete boor, but my god did the portrayal of women in this just make me roll my eyes. And I like to think I’ve usually got fairly thick skin for this sort of thing – but hard to ignore the fact that the literal only two women with recurring roles and more than a handful of lines are a) the loving, long-suffering but supportive wife who we basically only ever see in domestic scenes and b) the dissolute hot-but-dumb slutty daughter of the stalker equivalent of the local oligarch, y’know? And Red’s internal monologue and how they’re described did not exactly obscure the issue.

Tone-wise – I mean, look, this book is really not helping the stereotype about Russian novels. Which is not at all a problem for me personally, but there is as far as I can tell exactly one uncomplicated heroic devotee of truth and the common good. He dies at the end of part one, and the guilt over it is another load-bearing chunk of Red’s various complexes. It is overwhelmingly a book of flawed, broken, small-minded and selfish people, most of whom aren’t too found of each other. The very ending, with the wish for a better world quite literally hidden away behind a barrier that requires a human sacrifice to traverse, kind of emphasizes that.

The long timeskips and fairly compressed narration means that there’s only really a vague sketch of the wider world – of the corporations and conspiracies who buy what the stalkers sell, of the miracles that exploiting them has allowed, and of how things have improved and/or gone to shit generally – but it’s a really well done sketch. Then again, the ability to have the protagonist be a bit player in wider structures and to gesture at outside agencies with their own schemes that just don’t matter to the plot seems to have been a much more common skill among sci fi writers a couple generations ago. Still, the sort of retrofutristic noir world, powered by alien wonders that some technicians can use but absolutely no one can understand, is well done and appealing.

Speaking of – so this really is a cosmic horror story, and honestly a better one than most modern inheritors of Lovecraft. The universe is wondrous and deadly and strange, it will kill you or mutate you beyond recognition or make you richer than you’ve ever dreamed, but most of all it does not care. Everything from the title on down is used to reinforce that, and the trouble humanity has coming to terms with the idea that to the aliens who have so profoundly changed civilization, we’re literally irrelevant. The descriptions of the environment and the precautions taken to navigate it are – well, I don’t know if they’re just the oldest example of a preexisting body of tropes or the book actually came up with them, but if it’s the latter then I suddenly understand a lot of what influenced some of my favourite works of sci fi horror.

Not part of the story per se, but the copy my library had included both a forward by Le Guin (mostly a reprint of the review she wrote when it was first translated to English in the...70s, I think?) and an author afterwards written in the 2000s about the book’s publication history. Which were both just absolutely fascinating.

[istherewifiinhell]

b4 i get taken by POSTING urges. i gotta just say. 1. ignore the fucking weirdo shit i did. you really can just watch earthspark if ur a little interested in tf and a lot interested in good looking, well written shows with cute stuff in em. (its not flashing free in the way of a lot new animation. alas. probably about as bad as stylish action genre live action tends to be?)

ANYWAY. other than being about trans tfs, cute little babies, and hot robots, i think es is really about what people owe each other, what societies owe people, and they owe society. Like, yes obvious its, what do people owe children, cause theres lots of kids (so many kids, help). but leaders and followers, governments, people you've hurt, people who've hurt you. Its a very "family show" cause, the family, its so big, but i think you could be over literal and try and add EVERY character to the family. but its not that. Its just also about idenities, and culture, and kinships of that matter, and how people relate to each other, and treat each other, and shape each other. its Good As Hell.

And its about Giant Transforming Alien/Domestic Robots.

[l-ii-zz]

u are correct about the age thing. it depends which source(s) u use. I think the show bible calls him a kid (but iirc it also says Dib's exact age and last name should never be given and yet we have both in Enter the Florpus), but if u go by lost/unmade eps, iirc the Trial shows that irkens are smeets until they are 10 and then they are adults (and they aren't human so saying "but in human years!" is ridic imo. we don't say "but it human years that would be..." except for our domestic animals, and even then not every person does THAT). if u take Word of God, Jhonen has said Zim is an adult so many times idk why ppl think he's STILL just having a laugh. he's said it's bc he thinks it's funny that a grown ass man would count a Literal Child as his nemesis, and cites the Dennis the Menace comic series. but if u take ONLY what is on screen then it's a mystery and up to interpretation. it's just sort of *shrug emoji*.

The show bible (made by JV btw) calls him a kid, yeah. There's one section of an old magazine talking about the series and describing Zim as a kid too.

Honestly there are a bunch of things that have been told about the IZ universe that doesn't even make sense now. Like yeah, Dib's last name and age, another example would be about the Tallest and the cut thumbs and how this was entirely forgotten/discarded for their new design for the movie.

I also agree with you about the possibility that human and irken age concept could be different from one to the other. We're talking about aliens anyway. Alien society with alien customs and alien ideals and alien culture and alien environment etc etc etc. Who knows? maybe planet Irk rotates/revolves faster that Earth's and by that it would mean that an irken year is way shorter than an earthling year. Nothing in the series can confirm that, yeah, but you cannot either deny that it's a possibility. Hell, even irkens can have another extremely different perspective about maturity

Like, the show itself is so ambiguous about these themes that I don't even understand why people are so stubborn to gatekeep one single concept as the entire truth, even if the show is a whole pile of nonsense that doesn't even try to take itself seriously.

"But JV said this" yeah.... and? not everyone support the "Word of God" thingy. If the final product doesn't give you a clear answer then you are on your right to have different interpretations. Not to mention that the creator is not the only one developing the concepts of a show. There's a whole team behind the show, and behind the team there are different perspectives.

I'll give you one example with another fandom: Cuphead! when fans were speculating about the age of the cupbros (and this was looong before the dlc and animated show's announcement) they asked Studio MDHR (the creators) if the bros were kids or adults. They replied saying that they were "kidults" (adults with childish tastes). But then, another person asked the same question to the writer of Cuphead, and he answered that they were teens! So, in this case, is one answer more valid than the other? I don't think so, 'cause both parts worked for the final product. This is one of the reasons why I don't truly take "Word of God" seriously.

Also, and this is just my opinion btw, even if Zim is a straight up adult, he can still be interpreted as a kid. Because well... he dresses up as a kid, he goes to school, he interacts with other kids, his nemesis is another kid, he has robo parents, he's small like a kid, he behaves like a kid, he sounds like a kid... (WITH ALL THIS ONLY REFERRING TO IZ'S UNIVERSE, I'M NOT SAYING THIS ALSO APPEALS THE REAL WORLD)

"Yeah, but visualizing Zim as a kid triggers me" that's valid, but have you ever thought that other people can also feel triggered by visualizing Zim as adult? Because well.. some people can feel uncomfortable with the thought of a straight up adult fighting a kid and pretending to be one, even if it's just comedy.

Can't we all.. stop gatekeeping and let everyone interpret fiction however the heck we want without pointing each other and talking shit to each other? I know it's too much to ask, but wouldn't be nice to respect the fact that no one will think the same way you do? (NOT SPECICALLY TO YOU ANON, ALL QUESTIONS ARE RETORIC, LOL).

It's just so absurd to me, we're talking about fiction. Why are we fighting for the age of a character that doesn't even exist? We're going coconuts.

It's more fun to create headcanons and aus, I prefer doing that instead of fighting nonsense.

As you said, dear anon: *Shrug emoji*

[shejustcalledmeafish]

I’m going to make you share Ianto audio opinions now :D Sorry I know there’s like 9 million of those

Dhhdhdhd you’re all good, everyone needs to know my hot takes on their favorite blorbo that is just A Guy

Fall to Earth: Very good! The beginning of a long saga of Ianto having audios with women who are cooler than him, also he’s a dumbass and Myfanwy has insurance now

Broken: honestly, this one is overhyped in my opinion. It’s still very good, but people scream so much about it and I’m like “…poodle goo”. That said, it is a classic, content warnings for depression and suicide attempt, but it’s really doing its best to establish the janto dynamic behind s1

The Office of Never Was: this one features a darker side of Ianto which is very interesting, but also I barely remember any of the details due to me listening ages ago, but like yeah I think it’s good

The Last Beacon: PEAK GO LISTEN IMMEDIATELY, beloved romp and Ianto-Owen character dynamics

Serenity: definitely my preferred Janto audio, dumbasses in the suburbs, violence and swinging attempts and Ianto just slowly losing his mind (affectionate)

Expectant: okay so this isn’t good. I wouldn’t even necessarily say it’s fun. There’s not even that much Ianto in it. But goddamn there’s something about it, so many things that are mentioned and not explored and there are slippers and whale songs okay (also gross birth noises so be warned)

Dinner and a Show: yes very good! just a good fun romp at the opera with aliens and cheap knock-off Welsh Prosecco

Ex Machina: genuinely such an interesting concept, unreality warning heavy, but I really enjoyed it

Rhys and Ianto’s Execllent Barbecue: oh my god this is literally a masterpiece on grief and masculinity and also there’s a cool time bubble and a guinea pig, mandatory listening

Coffee: fun and painful and just like, a lot of it is kinda basic but when it hits it HITS

The Great Sontaran War: okay genuinely a pretty solid one, goss needs to stop trying to write marginalized people, but there’s a sontaran in a trailer park with a cat named Group Marshal Cat and Ianto is just trying his best, so

The Grey Mare: okay it’s not bad, but it is a pretty basic spooky tale, I heard someone describe it once as a plot that it didn’t have to be Ianto, and that’s pretty fair

Restricted Items Archive Entries 031-049: this is my personal favorite honestly, both for the almost anthology type vibe of all the entries, and because this author Gets Ianto and it’s just so fun and also a bit ouchy as it should be

SUV and The Lincolnshire Poacher: okay, haven’t heard these, but based on vibes poached from my friends, SUV is good, and Lincolnshire Poacher is slowburn Ianto whump and I mean slowburn because he doesn’t show up for a while, so don’t expect him right away, but I’m not gonna write it off

The Torchwood Archive: very good, domestic janto in the most weirdest and in character way honestly, lmao

Outbreak: YES SO GOOD, be warned for a virus plot and scratching noises, but like worth it for all of the vibes, who doesn’t want to have your boyfriend try to murder you because he loves you and your best friend mock you for your shit tie, so good

Believe: okay so his plot is probably the most interesting/best one, but overall it’s really just not that good, not really worth it

Torchwood One: god fuck you Alyssa I forgot about these, okay okay

Before the Fall: technically individual stories, but it’s really more like one big one, Rachel be girlbossing

Machines: Blind Summit is the one for Iantotent, man sorta gets supersoldiered and everyone forgets about it, I personally really like 9 to 5, the premise Bangs. Also the law machines is here, it’s okay I guess

Latter Days: Retirement Plan lets Ianto James Bond it up, Locker 15 is solid, the Rockery isn’t a Ianto story but it is my favorite from the set so 😤

Nightmares: honestly, the best set, both My Guest Tonight (not a Ianto story), and Lola are very solid, LESS MAJESTY IS FARCE AND FUCKING HILARIOUS

TLDR: honestly he doesn’t really have a Bad one, but some are better than others :3

[donnerpartyofone]

I'm morbidly fascinated by those "quotes" blogs. Whenever one of them makes it onto my dash I often compulsively hate-scroll through it for a couple of minutes, and I almost always find that while *some* of the blog is made up of vetted aphorisms and statements by identifiable people, a LOT of it is always some sort of extremely clumsy platitude attributed to "Unknown", as if it's a piece of ancient folk wisdom--but on closer inspection it's barely meaningful, like the one above. What does that say, "things that are hard to do are hard when you do them"? Yes, it is literally true that difficult doesn't mean impossible, is that really useful to point out? I would even get this more if the quote were something like "Impossible only means difficult"; there ya go, there's a little chicken soup for the teenage soul type of mindbender for ya. But what we have instead is just a definition of difficulty with a list of tags longer than the two sentences themselves. Thanks a lot, real inspiring. And then some of the quotes laid at the feet of poor old Unknown are just something like, "All I need is a cup of coffee, my favorite sweater, and a dog-eared book on a rainy day," and you're like Is this really a quote? Is the idea of "quotes" still worth something if we just mean "anything that could potentially come out of someone's mouth"? If you gave any of the people who run these blogs a copy of Bartlett's it would probably blow their brains out of their minds.

So because I get obsessed with things I don't understand, I start thinking about who it is that cooks these things up. There's someone, somewhere sitting at their computer trying to think of "deep" things to say, things that fit a certain tone and pattern that targets "your loneliest elderly relative on Facebook", and then they just write them down and slap "Unknown" on the end like it's some kind of profound secret that the reader is fortunate to stumble upon. To me, some of the results are just word salad. Like I think I know how this one is going to end, but then:

Ignoring the stray hyphen...my "pure soul"? I guess this is one way of saying "it's what's inside that counts", but seriously, what the fuck. What the hell are you talking about. But I have enough self-doubt in my constitution to wonder if I just don't get something here; I start to have a waking nightmare that this is actually an unattributed verse from Rumi or some shit that I'm just too primitive to recognize or understand. So I go Google this, and of course I find 15 or so versions of this:

And I'm back to trying to envision the culprit sitting at their computer trying to figure out how to sound like the oracle at Delphi real quick before their lunch break is over. What motivates someone to do this? Do they think they're going to get a book deal out of it? A lot of people will just do anything for attention; years ago I saw a post with this dry, formal caption about the domestic abuse incidents that led up to the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson along with regular pictures of her with VERY poorly photoshopped injuries. It was like...dude that is all a matter of public record, with real photos already in circulation, WHY ARE YOU FAKING THIS?? Maybe I'm just too much of an alien to understand why anyone does anything at all. But anyway, if this is too much negativity for you before 8am, try this version on for size, and have a terrific day.

[taylor-titmouse]

4 and 15 and 19 for brilliant please

4. What’s a hobby they used to have that they miss?

it's not a hobby so much as it was Her Literal Job but she would miss piloting. given she's living under 24/7 care and she's Way too precious of a thing to just let her do whatever she wants, she has not gotten to fly anything since the aliens found her in the wreck. she really wants to try flying one of their ships but obviously, the tech is completely different from what she knows. she'd have to learn all over again.

15. What’s the most obvious difference between their behavior at home, at work, at school, with friends, and when they’re alone?

for simplicity we'll say 'before the wormhole' and 'after the wormhole'. brilliant before the wormhole was actually pretty smart and competent in her field. you can't be a dope to be a pilot, and you especially can't be a dope if you're given the assignment to fly a new test engine. at the same time, she'd have been a big partier and slept around a lot. or at least tried to. given her biggest kink is pretty difficult to indulge without ruining your life in a society, she didn't have a lot of outlets for it.

and after the wormhole she's like. 24/7 lifestyle hedonist. she is effectively the pet of a bunch of aliens who fuck her and it's Great, she Loves it, and is happy enough to lean into it and play the part. she's probably bimbofied herself a bit in the process, much like domesticated animals are all a bit baby brained.

19. What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they’ve been avoiding?

the only people i can think of she might avoid is councilman somato and zeal-and-duty (they never appeared in the books, they were a sea slug in armor and a giant crab bodyguard) because somato is weird about wanting to Have her and zeal is just big and scary

but if she's stuck in a room with them she is probably being fucked by them

[transformers-bold-bright-brisk]

Prince’s First Day

Pt. 2 / Pt. 1: A Stern Talking To

Tagging @sonia-aquamarineson @asmito @novafire-is-thinking @bdwarrior1

Summary: Basically Prince and Predaking having an argument about Prince needing to attend RBA(Rescue Bots Academy).

Preview: Prince is what can be referred to as a “spoiled brat”. Of course they weren’t always like that. In fact, he used to be polite, just on the verge of well behaved… for a hyper newborn dragon, that is.

Apparently the all powerful Predaking didn’t know any better and never exactly said ‘no’ all that much when raising Prince. If you catch my drift? Not to mention letting them get away with pretty much anything—heck—he could probably get away with murder if they wanted to.

With Predaking having to deal with the backlash of his people not being all too happy with his protégé’s behavior; he decides to send them to RBA to where he has a trusted friend who’s teaching there. To help Prince take a break from the royal life and to realign their misguidedness.

May Primus help whose poor spark is entrusted with the feral beast.

— — —

Once upon a time…there was a young prince, who lived in a far far away kingdom. A land of Predacons. Voracious creatures who roamed an entire planet known as The Predacon Kingdom. The Predacon Kingdom is ruled by their terrifying yet benevolent king—Predaking. Also known as mentor to their majesty Prince, of The Predacon Kingdom. No, not as in a spawn of the king; their literal name is ‘Prince’.

Their relationship is not simply bound by the energon flowing through their veins. The bond between the two cannot be described as nothing more than an apprenticeship. At least, in the beginning it was…

CLATTER!

Now they have begun to have a closer bond…

SLAM!

Such as a bond between a parent and child…

CRASH!

Loud noises have disrupted the staff within the castle, with everyone turning their heads to triangulate where noise came from. Echoing off the walls and down the corridors, another loud tumbling of what seems to be a gargantuan sized chair. On top of the chair was a small two headed metallic dragon, with sharp yellow claws, a protoform as dark as graphite, and big orange wings emanating a neon glow. The little dragon suddenly had light shining through one head’s neck to its jaw, which immediately shot a large coordinated blast of fire at its target.

“I’m not going to some stupid school on some stupid planet- a billion lightyears away!” Prince shouted. “And you can’t make me!” The two headed dragon jumped into the air and perched himself on a jagged beam connected to the large dome ceiling.

“You will attend the academy, whether you like it or not—child!” Retorted the grand dragon Predaking. An enormous rough-scaled mechanical beast, with big sharp claws and armor dark as obsidian. His body is lined with alien magma shining through his seams and crevices. Most of all, his body takes up a majority of the room as he has been chasing his protege all over the castle. Trying his hardest to be reasonable, though it seems as if nothing would be able to get Prince to listen.

“Why are you trying to make this difficult for me? Attending the academy is your “punishment” for your recent inappropriate behavior!”

“Why? Why?! Are you kidding me?! You're sending me off to get—to get domesticated!”

“For the last time! Learning manners and proper discipline, for your sake and others, isn't as cruel as surrendering your free will! And it's not as if this was my only choice-”

Just as Predaking was about to finish his statement, Prince shot a stream of fire at their mentor’s face; and they took off thinking he was distracted. Leaping off the beam and heading down the nearest corridor. But he didn't have enough time to realize how unfazed Predaking was with his attack.

As Prince was in midair, giant talons suddenly wrapped around him—restraining the little dragon. “Let go, you jerk!” Exclaimed Prince, as he spat another blast of fire at Predaking’s muzzle.

Predaking shook off the flames and replied sternly, “No—I will not tolerate your immature behavior any longer. You’re going to do as I say, and you will do it even if I have to force you through that portal myself.” Prince still continued to struggle in his mentor’s grasp.

Whatever Predaking said went through one audial and out the other. They were putting up one heck of a fight against his opponent, even though he knew deep down it was pointless. But he wasn’t one to back down from a fight so easily.

— — —