#BUT LIKE WHAT'S THE OTHER OPTION HERE. A SCHEDULE??? GOD FORBID.

[aropride]

hate having adhd bc i cant talk abt the problems my neurodevelopmental disorder causes without people going "oh adhd i know about that from Annoying Twitter Users. you people cant do anything"

[embe95]

A Momentous Break

Lee Felix drabble <3 The MAXIDENT trailer made me do it. They all looked so beautiful so I just wanted to write a very low key, calm oneshot for the universe I imagined that particular gang to be in. I imagine Felix would remain his soft, kind self, just clad in leather and maybe with some vices that aren't permitted to an idol.

I listened to Sunshine, My Universe, Streetlight, you know, chill vibes, lovely vibes.

”Hey. You look like you could use this.”

The first thing that comes to her view is a lit cigarette. The smoke dances upward delicately before vanishing into the cool city wind.

The hand holding the cancer stick, as Y/N’s father had called it, is slender and pale, the skin contrasted beautifully by the black leather sleeve that clad the following arm.

”Hi Felix.”

”Woah, that bad?”

She can’t help the small chuckle that bubbles out at his words.

”Yeah. Boss is on my ass as if I’m the root of every problem.”

”Is Lee Know being difficult again?”

Y/N swats at the smoke to signal what Felix already knows; she hates the stuff. Well, when she’s sober.

”Nah. He’s cool.”

”So the bother-brother isn't working tonight?”

”Right again,” she smiles, leaning back against the concrete stairs, elbows holding her up.

Felix licks his lips, staring at her. The black t-shirt with the bar logo stretches deliciously, showing off her chest and muscled shoulders, her forehead and slender neck are coated with shimmering sweat.

”Bet he’s at the bodega right now.”

”Probably.”

”So, why aren’t you?”

Y/N fixes her tired eyes up to Felix, and his tall, fit frame paired with the freckles and black hair makes her mouth dry. Nothing new there. Better not smoke, it makes the drought in her mouth even worse.

As he leans on the familiar metal railing, Felix feels her gaze and can’t help but move his own around the alley. He wonders if those dumpsters are ever actually emptied, because they’re always bursting with black plastic bags so the lids don’t even close. The familiar graffiti behind the hideous yellow-black wasteland is almost fluorescent as the neon signs and streetlights shine on them.

There are a few ideas in his head about what to answer. Ways to go about it. He could be honest, he could make it cute, make it funny. Attempting a joke wasn’t an option, maybe if he could ask Jisung. Maybe he should say it’s because he wants to spend time with her. That this seems to be the only time the two can be alone without her brother and the rest of the gang. That this is what he looks forward to whenever she has a shift at the bar. Which in turn is the reason he’s always excited when she has to work. Just in case she’d have noticed it when she’d told them her schedule. He had a hard time hiding it.

He could say it right now.

Instead he shrugs.

”Just thought you might like some company.”

Always the cool guy.

”I don’t mind it,” she answers with a soft smile, eyes traveling to the cloudy, dark sky. She needs something to say, quick, before she admits how much she enjoys having him here.

”So much light pollution, I can’t stand it sometimes. I wanna see some stars!”

The pout is adorable.

”We could go on a roadtrip or something, get out of the city,” Felix speaks quickly, barely registering the fact that this could be perceived as asking her out.

But he doesn’t need to worry about that. Y/N’s brain isn’t wired to detect such things from people she’s interested in herself, because God forbid any crush could ever be reciprocated.

”We should!”

Felix’s heart leaps upward and freezes there. But then Y/N's excitement suddenly deflates.

”But with all of us it's such a fuss, you know? Two cars and all…”

Right.

”Oh yeah, right… big fuss.”

There was always some combo of the nine of them wherever they went; six, four, eight, three. Pairs were a thing. There were of course certain people who hung out more than others, or rather it just happened more naturally.

Bangchan, Jisung and Changbin live together so they were often joined at the hip. Seungmin and Jeongin basically run the bodega now that Seungmin’s grandfather was getting too old to look after everything. Lee Know and Y/N are siblings. Hyunjin and Felix and Lee Know hang out a lot. All nine of them dance together, but it’s not uncommon for at least one of them to miss practice.

Felix and Y/N are almost never alone.

Felix sits down with a sigh, back against one of the vertical metal bars. The leather jacket was a good choice, he briefly thinks as the September winds whisk his hair around.

”Big fuss,” his low voice repeats, the ’s’ sizzling in Y/N’s ears.

They really should spend more time like this.

”Maybe…” she mumbles softly while picking herself up to lean on her knees. The stretchy black fabric feels sticky under her elbows because she’d had to crawl under a few tables to help a customer find their wallet. Not her finest moment. ”Maybe we could just go by ourselves?”

It really is more of a question, seeing as she doesn’t know whether Felix would want that or not. Raising the intonation is also a way to mask the vibe as calm and collected, though his answer to what she was suggesting has the potential to make or break the moment and perhaps her whole outlook on their relationship.

But no pressure or anything.

Felix’s breath hitches. Actually no, he inhales the last puffs from his smoke, which get stuck in his throat, which in turn cause him to start coughing like a dying man.

"Hey, hey, breathe!" 

Y/N's open palm collides with Felix's back firmly. 

"Here."

A water bottle is offered and gladly accepted.

The open palm remains, now absentmindedly drawing rivers on the black leather.

"Didn't mean to shock you."

"You didn't," the man croaks, voice as low as ever. "I'd love that."

Could it really be this easy?

They could just go alone because they both want to? Apparently they both want to. They could swipe Lee Know's car and just drive off together, leaving the city only to return with the memory of having seen stars together. Could it really, truly be this easy? To go on a date with one of your best friends?

"I'm free tomorrow," Y/N smiles, cheeks high, the corners of her eyes crinkle.

Before Felix has a chance to answer, the heavy metal door behind them opens as the bottom scratches the concrete that the steps lead up to. Felix keeps his dark-brown eyes on her and half listens as she's commanded back inside by the shrill voice of her boss. Her soft aura captures him, so much so that he doesn't even register the words leaving those beautiful, mesmerizing lips in front of him after the door is closed once again. She smiles, shoulders rising and falling from the small chuckle. All still inaudible to him. 

"Duty calls."

Suddenly they're on his. The lips. It's quick, easy, so familiar. And yet it's completely new. Like a seal on the date they'd just calmly agreed on. The only woman Felix has thought of romantically in years just gave him a kiss. It's an agreement. 

Okay, we're trying this thing together now. Just the two of us.

It felt easy, just like everything else with her does.

Y/N wonders why she's waited so long.

Felix does too. And regrets not being the one to initiate it.

"Okay," Y/N breathes out and locks eyes with the man she just kissed, irises scanning him to look for signs that what she did was not okay. 

There are none.

Instead, as if to check that what just happened actually happened, Felix leans back in, cold hands flying to cradle her head, and she copies his movements. They deepen the agreement as the kiss turns into a more PG13 version of its predecessor.

The street lights from both ends of the alley colour the scene a deep okra, and passing headlights make Felix's freckles bounce in and out of view. 

Y/N can't wait to see everyone's faces when they walk into the bodega together after her shift.

About time. About fucking time. Their voices ring in her head. Felix can see the grins on all seven of those stupid, beloved faces.

"Wanna come in for a drink?" The question is breathless, excited, hopeful.

"I have to tell your brother later. So yeah, I could really use it."

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Satisfied, Part 8

First

Previous

Next

Updating tonight because I have a test at my normal update time tomorrow and I’m a grandma who doesn’t understand how the schedule option works <3

~~~

Marinette stared at her blank paper. She’d taken too much time to get her drink and sit down, and now all she had was the vague idea of ‘flowers’. Not particularly helpful.

She drummed her fingers against the side of her cup absently, squinting out the window.

The stranger looked up after a while and rested his head on his hand, definitely annoyed by her incessant tapping. “You’re new here?”

She pulled her glare away, that poor building hadn’t done anything to deserve that. Her eyes found their way to the stranger. They had a very unhealthy look to them. Dark eyebags were prominent against nearly transparent skin. His hair had the look of someone who hadn’t properly washed it in ages, hanging limply around his face and ears.

“Do you come here that often? Know all the regulars?” She teased.

“Not how I knew,” he said. No denial of going often, though. “No one orders that size unless it’s their first time.”

She raised her eyebrows and looked down at her drink. It was a big cup, yes, but she drinks about that amount consistently anyways, just in different cups to make it feel less awful.

“I think I can handle it,” she said calmly, bringing the straw to her lips and beginning to drink.

He looked vaguely amused, rolling his eyes. “Sure. Can I have the rest when you’re done?”

She narrowed her eyes. The poor guy had no idea how big a mistake he’d made.

Marinette stared him down, removing the lid from her cup and starting to chug. The stranger seemed amused for the first few seconds, but his expression began to morph into fear the redder her face got. It was becoming more and more apparent that she wasn’t going to stop until she drowned, threw up, and/or choked.

And, the way things were going, none of those ideas would have been all that far-fetched.

“H-hey!” He sputtered. “I was kidding! You can stop now!”

She did stop, but not of her own volition.

He lunged across the table and yanked her hand away from her face. Coffee splattered everywhere, coating her skin and clothes.

His eyes widened as he stared at the mess he’d made. There was a beat where no one said anything. She could vaguely feel the other café-goers staring at them. The barista looked like she was about to commit a murder.

Then, the stranger seemed to finally process it. His face, somehow, went paler. “Oh! Sh-crap! I’ll get some napkins! And a new drink!”

He ran to the front and reordered her drink and then started trying to pull out napkins from the box they’d been tightly packed in.

She sipped at the remains of her drink, looking outside while she waited. Her eyes found their way back to the flowered ivy stretching up the walls, smiling to herself, when her brain finally managed to click back to her original train of thought.

She wiped her hands on the little dry area of her clothes (they were already ruined, it was a good thing they weren’t expensive or, god forbid, originals) and picked up her pencil and sketchbook.

She started with a vague outline of the dress: a simple, 50s circle dress. From there she started adding details, little, black, embroidered flowers that encircled the bottom and then converged. They climbed up the front, up to the waist, where she started to mold them together into a black stripe that encircled the stomach like a belt. In the center, where a buckle would have been, a red flower would be attached. From there up, the black embroidery would morph into tiny, red flowers that would extend from the dress, coating the upper half with the red.

Not her most complicated design, but she liked it.

It was just as she was finishing with the last flower that she realized she was being watched.

She whipped around, her hand swinging around, only for the person to dodge.

Oh. The guy was back with napkins. And her drink. For once, she was glad she had missed. She didn’t want to get coffee spilled on her for the second time that day.

“Sorry!” She cried.

The man shook his head quickly, holding up his hands placatingly. “No, no, it’s my fault for just standing there. That was creepy.”

She didn’t answer, and he carefully handed over the napkins, clearly wary of her after that. She didn’t blame him.

She began drying herself off. He set her drink down and sat back down.

She saw his eyes find their way to her design. She didn’t mind, he clearly wasn’t from the industry (it’s just something you can tell), and he seemed to like it, so that was good. At least her design held up, even if it was to the untrained eye.

She finished cleaning herself off and took her seat again, sipping at her drink as she looked at her design. She was mostly done, but she still needed to think on accessories...

“Is that your job?”

She looked up, surprised he had said anything. The first time he’d spoken up it was clearly just to get her to stop tapping, but this time she hadn’t been doing anything. He just wanted conversation.

She nodded. “Yep. I’m the new hire, so this dress is really important.”

“Well, if it means anything, I think it’s pretty good.”

Marinette shrugged. “Not really, but thank you.” She glanced at his computer. “Why are you here instead of at your... office.”

He grimaced. “I got banned.”

“From the office? But you still work there?”

“No, from the coffee machine.”

She gasped. “That’s horrible! How’re you supposed to live?”

“That’s what I said!” His lips twitched into a grin. “Jokes on them, though, I’m drinking more coffee here than I did there.”

“That’s good, at least.”

She smiled to herself as they fell into a comfortable silence, save for the clicking of his keyboard and the occasional scratch of her pencil. They felt like old friends, not like people who didn’t even know each other’s name. But, time went by, and eventually she had to start patrol soon.

She gathered her things and gave one last wave before turning around--.

“Wait!” She whipped back around and the stranger pushed themselves out of their chair. “Are you coming back?”

Marinette smiled, tipping her head to the side. “Don’t know, it’s kind of expensive here...”

He gave a shrug. “I’ll pay again. That’s why you did the whole coffee stunt in the first place, wasn’t it? So you could get extra?”

The way her eyes went wide gave her away.

He chuckled. “I knew, I just don’t mind.”

She opened her mind to protest. A one-time thing was one thing, but multiple times...

“Don’t worry, I can afford it.” He held out a hand to shake.

She smiled as she gripped his hand in hers. Her first handshake! Wait, what was she supposed to do now?

“I’m Tim, by the way.”

Ah. Introductions. Her head tipped to the side. “And I’m Marinette.”

With that, she left, with a promise that she’d be back sometime soon.

The barista looked like she wanted to cry.

~~~

Taglist~

@comet-kun @thatonecroc @trippingovermyfeet @swiftie-miraculer13 @nickristus-dreamer @moongoddesskiana @i-am-ironic @indecisive-mess-named-me @thebooki3h @insane-fangirl-of-everything @deepestobservationwombat @theymakeupfairies @fatimaabbasrizvi

[xxx-cat-xxx]

heaven forbid (you end up alone)

Two years on and I'm still not over Endgame. But at least I finally finished this fic!

A word of warning; this one is Endgame-compliant and centred around the topic of grief and Pepper’s and Happy’s friendship in the aftermath of Tony’s death.

Major thanks to @twentyghosts​ for beta reading.

*

Throughout her life, Pepper has always divided her days into small pieces, regulated by meticulous plans. She can’t remember ever waking up without a mental―or written―to-do list and a clear idea in which order to tackle it. It’s her way of managing a multinational company. Of managing Tony, which was arguably more challenging than SI’s 300,000 other employees combined. Of managing her own alien-invaded, super power-sprinkled, increasingly absurd life. 

And whenever things get overwhelming and she feels like she’s falling into a bottomless, desperate pit, that’s what she does: plans the next 30 minutes, and then the 30 minutes after that, and so on until it’s one thirty am and she is tired enough to fall into bed without having to think about anything except what’s ticked off on the list and what’s left for tomorrow. 

That’s what she does now, seven weeks after her husband’s death. 

This Saturday is booked for tidying up the closets. There is no need to keep Tony’s clothes, other than a few special ones for memory’s sake, the band shirts and the ones with the science puns she still likes to sleep in. And it would be a waste to wait any longer to donate them: even two months on, there is more than enough need out in the streets due to the chaos that came on after the reverse. 

Homeless people wearing 5000 dollar suits, that would have been to Tony’s taste. 

Pepper has cleared her schedule well in advance, picked a weekend Morgan can stay with Rhodey, already ordered the Dress for Success pick-up for the next morning. Made a plan of action, starting with the top floor. 

All that’s left now is to do it.

“Okay, Virginia,” she tells herself. The name feels unfamiliar on her tongue, but maybe she needs this, needs the reminder that she had a life before Tony Stark and, as horrible as it sounds, will have one after him. “Get up. Drink some water. Go through the closets.” 

It’s just that she can’t. 

She enters the bedroom, their bedroom, her bedroom, opens the cupboard. And then she stands in front of it for almost twenty minutes, unable to bring herself to move. 

Finally, her legs grow a bit weak under her and she has to sit down on the floor, less and less successfully fighting the feeling that the air around her is completely devoid of oxygen. She can’t breathe. She can’t get up. She can’t walk over to the closet and get started with the next item on her list―it’s as if there’s an invisible barrier between her and the task. She just can’t. 

It takes her almost 45 minutes before she finally calls Happy.

*

Much like Tony, Pepper is someone who distracts herself with work, and looking after Morgan, organising the funeral and getting the Stark Foundation into motion to set up shelters for four million Returned without a place to go have been tasks so time-consuming that she didn’t have any other option than just to function, and function well. Almost well enough to trick herself into believing that she’ll be fine.

Sometimes she wonders whether she has become so good at perfecting the image she shows to the public that she doesn’t even know anymore who she actually is. 

“Hey.” 

She hadn't noticed Happy’s presence until he is standing in the doorframe. 

“Happy,” she greets, her voice sounding foreign to her own ears. 

“Oh, Pepper.” He looks her up and down, his expression equal parts sad and kind. “Come on. Let’s get you up from the floor.” 

She pushes away his hands helping her up, she doesn’t need them, doesn’t need any help, but then the world blurs suddenly and she kind of does. Happy steadies her when she sways, alarmed but not as surprised as she’d want him to be. It would irritate her, on normal days, because she can take care of herself, doesn’t need anyone to hold her, thank you very much. But today she is just a bit too tired to pretend. 

"Have you eaten?" he asks, voice still too warm when he guides her over to the bed and sits her down. 

“I had...tea this morning.”

“And last night?” 

She is silent. He sighs, and she deflects, “Haven’t had much of an appetite lately.”

“Alright, I’ll go find us some food. Just stay here.”

“Thanks, Happy,” she says quietly. 

He sighs again. “It’s alright. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. I’m just glad I’m here.” 

She nods. She knew it too, that she wouldn’t be able to distract herself forever, even if she wouldn’t admit it to herself. But that’s the thing. She wasn’t afraid of it happening, only of the After―of things calming down and her having to deal with the lonely, horrible, rest of her life. Of realising that the inevitable breakdown doesn’t help a single bit. That picking up the pieces is not in the least easier than keeping them together.

*

Happy returns 15 minutes later with a big bag of cavity-inducing gas station doughnuts, sprinkles and all. The mere thought of biting into one makes Pepper’s stomach roll. 

“I’m not sure I can eat those,” she tells him when he sits next to her on the bed and leans against the headboard. 

“Just try.” 

She does, fighting down the looming nausea, and, surprisingly, the sweetness helps. She breathes out, one and a half doughnuts and a small bottle of orange juice later, and finds that her head feels clearer. 

“Morgan would love this,” she observes, nodding at the rest of the treats. “She’s been trying to bully me into making her waffles for breakfast every single morning of the last whole month.” 

“So, did she succeed?”

Pepper shakes her head. “It’s bad for her health. But she keeps throwing tantrums. I know it’s because of what happened, but god, she's been so difficult. The way she shouts at me, sometimes I think she hates me.”

Happy sets down his reusable coffee cup and looks straight at her. “She doesn't, Pepper." 

She can’t stop herself from snorting. “How would you possibly know?”

“I can see the way she looks at you. Looks up to you. She adores you.”

“I…” Pepper bites her lip, unable to decide whether that’s something she wants to share. Life has taught her that it’s usually better to keep your weaknesses to yourself if you want to stay on top. But then, it’s not like there is any competition of people wanting to parent her daughter. “I don’t know about that. I know she misses Tony, but I also feel that she misses...a parent who knows how to handle her. I’m not―sometimes I’m afraid I’m not a very good mother.”

“That’s not true, Pep, and you know it.”

She takes a deep breath. “I never wanted to have children, Happy. I mean, it’s not that I didn’t want Morgan, once we decided in favour of me getting pregnant. And I never regretted having her. But it was mostly Tony who pushed for this, who needed this. He has - had - a way with kids...you know, I can be strict, but he can―could―get her to do what is necessary without even having to raise his voice. And sometimes I just wonder―what if I ruin it, Happy? She only has me.”

“Firstly, that’s not true. Rhodey and I are here for you too. You got your sister, and I’m sure Peter would be more than happy to babysit as well. There’s more than biological parents for a kid, you know that better than anyone, right?” 

She nods, hesitantly.

“And secondly,” he continues, “You are doing great under the circumstances. Nobody is born a parent. But if you’re good at anything, then it is to adapt to difficult situations. You can do this, Pepper.”

“Yeah, I know… I know I can.”

And that’s exactly the point. Pepper has always pulled through. Everyone expects her to keep functioning, and she isn’t one to miss people’s expectations. But sometimes she wonders if she’s still alive in there.

*

They finish up the doughnuts and start tackling the clothes. It goes surprisingly smoothly, and Happy even coaxes a few hesitant chuckles out of her when he fishes a gold-glittery mankini and a few other special-occasion items out of the far corner of Tony’s wardrobe. They are three boxes in and have moved one floor down when Pepper takes a break to pee and wash the dust off her face in the guest bathroom.

Tony’s shaver is lying on the edge of the sink. He must have been shaving here the day he left for the compound, likely because Pepper or Morgan were using the upstairs bathroom, and left it there. She always tells him to put it back in the cupboard and he always forgets―forgot. She picks it up, ready to put it where it belongs, when it hits her. 

It’s futile. It’s a personal shaver of a man who’s never going to need one again. Nobody’s ever going to use this particular shaver again. She could just as well throw it away. 

Pepper feels anger burn hot and fierce in her chest. She opens her mouth, to scream, maybe, but all that comes out is a broken sob. 

Happy must have been listening for her from the other room, because he is there in an instant. She turns away, reflexively hiding the tears on her face, but he stops her.

“Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay to cry.”

“I need to―I don’t have time―”

“I think we can clear fifteen minutes in your schedule for a breakdown, right?” Happy teases, the smallest of smiles on his face although he looks close to tears himself.

A memory strikes, and she chuckles through the sobs, then cries harder. 

“What’s it?”

“That’s just the kind of thing he would have said.”

“Oh, Tony,” Happy smiles sadly.

“I just―I miss him so much, Happy. It’s―It’s all the small things―his shaver―the tinkering and the empty pizza boxes everywhere and the never-ending cups of coffee and the way he just keeps on talking, to his bots and to me and Morgan―and―” she runs out of breath. 

“I know. I miss him too.”

“You know, the way he used to stick his tongue between his teeth when he was concentrating and not realising anyone was around? Morgan did the same recently while drawing, and I just―sometimes I just can’t―”

“You can do it, Pepper. If there’s anyone who can do it, it’s you. You are strong.”

Pepper laughs, but it sounds shrill and false in her ears. 

“People say that all the time, you know? And the worst thing―you know what the worst thing is?”

Happy shakes his head.

“The worst thing is, it’s true. You know, early into the relationship I was thinking that I can’t live without him. I was so, so scared something would happen to him, so I tried to stop him from being Iron Man… And then we took a break, and he ended up half-dead in Siberia, and at that time I realised that yes, I can live without him. It just wasn’t a life I wanted to live. And now―thinking that I have to do this every day, it’s just―it’s like someone is sitting on my chest and strangling me, over and over again.”

She hears Happy swallow hard, then he shuffles closer and wraps his arms around her, pulling her close. One of the bear hugs that got her through the time when Tony was in Afghanistan and both of her parents died in the span of three months, that got Tony through his panic attacks, and Morgan through some of her nightmares. 

She feels water drop onto her neck, and she knows Happy is crying too. 

*

They do finish the clothes before nightfall, because Pepper has always been awfully good at ticking off to-do lists, even on the worst days. When they are done, they get a bottle of red wine from the cellar and empty it in Tony’s honour, sitting near the lake where Pepper and Tony once spent a whole night just after they bought the house getting eaten by mosquitos, when they decided to turn it from a temporary recovery getaway into a home for as long as time would grant them. 

Morgan took her first steps here, had her first fall, cried buckets in Pepper’s arms while Tony put a band-aid on the scratch on her elbow, and Pepper remembers thinking how little children know of pain. A few steps below Pepper laid the arc reactor to water, holding the hand of the girl who now knew so, so much of it; and sometimes she doesn’t know if she wants to preserve the place forever or burn it all down. 

They sit and drink and at some point Pepper closes her eyes, and through the buzz of alcohol she can almost imagine that Tony is in the garage, finishing up a project before joining them for the night. 

She thinks of him with love, with tenderness, with unforgiving pain.

She wonders if it will ever get easier. She wonders if she even wants it to be.

*

They go to bed at two. Happy takes the guest room where Tony’s shaver is now lying at the bottom of a dust bin. Pepper lies wide awake, her window open, listening to the familiar sounds of life far away from the city. 

She will fall asleep eventually, facing away from the empty side of the bed. She will wake up at six, a little hungover, force herself to start the day with yoga and a run. Will call Dress for Success to make sure they get to the house on time, will oversee the pick-up. Will have breakfast with Happy so he doesn’t have to worry about her passing out when he gets on his way. Will sit through an SI video conference until it’s time to pick up Morgan, maybe take her to the mall or to see a movie on the way back home from Rhodey’s. Will make her dinner, give her a bath, put her to bed on time, if possible without a tantrum. Will tackle her email inbox until a headache will force her to bed. Will make a plan for Monday, another Monday without Tony, before falling asleep. Will wake up and face that one too.

Rinse and repeat, one day at a time.

*

All my fics

All my Pepperony fics

[mollymauk-teafleak]

Green

My first attempt at a modern au! Based off a fantastic idea by @minky-for-short where Stephen and Lucien's relationship starts off as a sugar daddy arrangement!

Please consider leaving a comment over on Ao3

-----------

If anyone had asked- God forbid, he’d rather die- Stephen would have rushed to his own defence. He’d probably have done it while turning bright red and spluttering but he’d have insisted it was just a matter of timing.

It wasn’t a lie. He’d have to work right up until he went to meet Lucien if he wanted to get the reports on his last few cases submitted in time. Lucien had meetings early in the morning, Stephen didn’t want to ask him to push their date back any further than he already had and the thought of cancelling...well that wasn’t an option. Not because of Lucien, who was extremely flexible and understanding as far as people in this kind of arrangement went. He just couldn’t and he wasn’t going to give it any more thought than that.

But it was just because of the timing. Stephen wasn’t getting off on this or anything. There just wasn’t going to be time to change into it between the end of his overly long day at the justiciary and the start of his date so wearing it all under his work clothes was the only option. He’d have insisted that until he ran out of air, if anyone had asked, probably before jumping out of the nearest window.

But this, Stephen did have to admit to himself, was entirely indefensible. This was just because he was a hopeless degenerate.

“Just going to the bathroom,” he announced in what he hoped was a casual tone, dropping his pen down with a thunk on the blanket of newspapers spread out on his desk, ones he’d been scouring for signs of magical miscreancy. More than half of their cases came from just noticing something odd in those tiny stories crushed up into the margins of local papers.

From the desk that joined onto his, though much neater and better organised and with less coffee cup rings etched permanently onto it, Esther looked up with a frown.

“I’m not your teacher, Steph. But okay, good for you,” she muttered before turning back to her computer. She’d lost their game of rock paper scissors that morning so it was her turn to deal with all of the emails that were inevitably sent to the justiciary every day, majority of which were complete nonsense and all of which were painful to read.

Stephen winced, snatching up his phone and making a quick exit before he could make it any more obvious that he was hiding something. Getting to the bathroom was harder that it really should have been, given how close the desks were shoved together, how many stacks of papers sat precariously on desk edges, how many odd trinkets and artefacts humming with magic were left to scatter across the faded carpet. But Stephen had worked there amongst the justiciary’s chaos for long enough that he made it to the other side of the cramped office without causing a disaster, only needing to nudge a few things back into place with his power as he went. Thankfully at this hour there was no one else still here to express their irritation.

The bathrooms in the Council Building were a microcosm of the rest of the place- too small, poorly maintained, outdated and a decent place to cry when overstressed, overworked and overwhelming. But for once, Stephen was rather grateful for that fact because it meant the bathroom was only built for one person at a time, meaning he could lock the door and be confident that no one was going to walk in on him doing what he was about to do.

Stephen pushed back his hair and gave a long, steady exhale. Since he’d entered into this arrangement with Lucien Vaudrey he’d been doing a lot of thinking with cock rather than his brain and, honestly, he’d had no reason to regret it yet. Save a few mornings where walking wasn’t as easy as it might have been.

So his brain didn’t get a look in, he put his back to the door and quickly yanked open the first few buttons of his shirt, just enough that he could pull his collar aside and show a little of what was underneath. Not too much, just the start of the lacy paneling that made up the band that circled his upper chest, the edge of one of the black straps that zig zagged across his body in an array that had taken longer to work out than he was willing to admit.

Stephen ran his thumb along the black lace, shivering a little. He’d been so wrapped up in his work since walking into the office that he’d mostly forgotten it was there but every so often he’d shift in his chair or he’d stand too quickly and he’d feel the feathery touch of all that silk slip between his skin and his clothes like a caress. He’d had to shove the awareness away very quickly before it could send any more than a quick jolt to his groin and was just thankful that today had been one spent entirely at his desk.

But he was only wearing it because of the timing. He was on a tight schedule. Of course.

Now, as he flicked his phone camera open with a thumb and held it at a slightly raised angle like he’d seen people do when they knew far more about taking selfies than he did, he couldn’t help but be aware of it all. The way it snaked around his body and held him tight, branching out like roots hidden in the ground, putting the barest pressure on his hips and chest and the curve of his arse like the ghost of Lucien’s hands. Invisible under his deliberate choice of a dark blue shirt and his usual shabby suit, except for the barest glimpse he was allowing. Only known to him.

And now to Lucien.

Stephen took a quick photo of himself, holding his shirt open with one hand, using a little of his power to brighten his eyes. Of course he didn’t find the picture particularly impressive, all he saw when he looked it back over were the hollowness of his cheeks, the jut of his overly large nose and the immense bags under his eyes. How his hair needed brushing and the out of place tooth that showed in the slight part of his lips. But he’d learned to trust Lucien’s opinion on these things, his blindness to all the flaws that jumped out to his own eyes, and his lover’s response to this picture was too good to pass up for the sake of insecurity.

So he opened up the many texts he’d been exchanging lately with the contact in his phone that was nothing but an emoji of a feather. He typed out a quick message before attaching the photo and sending it on it’s way.

Got your present this morning. What do you think?

Stephen gathered himself together quickly, buttoning his shirt again and checking swiftly in the mirror that nothing was showing through. He wasn’t sure what someone looked like when they were wearing lingerie under their clothes but he tried to make his whatever the opposite of that was. With a thought, he set off the old, roaring hand dryer so it would sound like he’d been doing something people were supposed to do in bathrooms. When dealing with Esther, there was no such thing as overcovering his tracks.

He navigated his way back through the obstacle course of office equipment and magical paraphernalia to where Esther was scowling at her computer screen and stabbing the keys as she typed.

“I swear, if we get one more sodding email about UFOs I’m going to throw this thing out of the window,” she declared, viciously deleting like each one had offended her personally.

“Y’know there are days I wish practitioners actually were secretly working for a cabal of interdimensional aliens,” Stephen hummed, sliding back into his chair, “We’d probably have more funding if we were.”

Esther gave a mirthless snort of laughter, the text on her screen reflecting in her glasses, not even glancing from it as she took a swig of coffee. A mug had appeared on his desk too, freshly steaming.

Stephen was about to thank her when his phone buzzed in his hand, making him jump. He scrambled to check it, feeling his heart thud when he saw it was from Lucien. Two messages, short and sharp and impossible not to read in his cool tones.

Beautiful witch

You are in so much trouble

The handful of hours between those messages and half past ten had felt like an eternity. Enough that Stephen couldn’t hide his haste as he nearly sprinted from the Council Building to the Underground. He spent the long ride from the shabby borough the justiciary called home to Knightsbridge staring at his phone, rereading that message over and over again, his mind running away with all that so much trouble implied. He knew fine well he was going to arrive flushed, already half hard and salivating, ready to do whatever Lucien asked of him.

He wove his way through the evening crowds, stumbling into the bar they always came into. It was a sleek, expensive looking place, the kind of bar he’d never set foot in if he hadn’t been beckoned by Lucien. He felt every penny in his meagre paycheck when he walked through the door but he did like the warmth, the rich leather, the fact that nearly all of the other couples there were pairs of men too. He liked how Lucien would put his arm around him as they sat in their usual booth and he’d feel that flicker of belonging, in spite of everything else.

Stephen’s eyes, betraying his excitement more than anything else by being a sparking gold, tracked over the room until he spotted him. Lucien, having far more control over his working hours, often arrived well before Stephen and sat with his laptop or a book or a newspaper, a glass of whiskey at his elbow. But today the table before him was clear of distractions, he simply sat with his fingers steepled at his lips, his fine features set into an expression of patience. The kind of face a hunting cat would wear, knowing their prey would be along in due course.

And when his clear, grey eyes locked on Stephen, he simply smiled.

Swallowing hard, the younger man leapt to attention, clearing the bar and sliding into the booth with his lover.

“Evening,” he tried, casually, though his heart was hammering and his cock was aching.

“Just what did you think you were playing at, sweet boy?”

Lucien dispensed with the pleasantries, his voice already dropped into the low, rolling tones he used when Stephen was about to lose his clothes. He spoke softly so their conversation didn’t carry past the oak panelled confines of their booth but not enough that Stephen missed the heat in his tone. He tried to get a grip on himself, he had a feeling he’d need to walk across the room before too long.

“I thought you’d want to see,” he shivered as his tone slipped almost unconsciously into something playful, something teasing and faux innocent, an affectation that would have made a past version of himself gape in disbelief, “It looked so pretty and the note said you wanted me to wear it tonight…”

Lucien’s eyes flashed, “Did the note say to be a little prick tease and send filthy pictures to me while I was infuriatingly far away and couldn’t get my hands on you?”

Under the table, Stephen felt Lucien’s far longer, wiry muscled legs slide over his own. After waiting all day even that bare contact, through two layers of clothing, had him swallowing back a whimper.

"No...” Stephen dropped his chin, seeming to bow under the intensity until he let his eyes flicker up and catch Lucien’s, “My lord.”

He watched as the hard line of his lover’s jaw tightened. They’d been in this arrangement for a couple of months now and one thing Stephen had learned, amongst a host of new desires he’d never suspected he owned, was those words. Those words, referencing the titles that Lucien actually did own but denied in his everyday life, were essentially a crooked finger. They were Stephen essentially pinning a badge to himself that read ‘complete and unapologetic brat’, carte blanche for Lucien to master him however he saw fit. To break him, if required.

“Then you deserve everything you’re getting, don’t you?” Lucien shifted into something not unlike a lion winding back to pounce, “Because if you’re going to act like a slut, that’s exactly how I’m going to treat you.”

Stephen felt those words grip him by the nerve endings and he knew fine well he was fidgeting but didn’t know how to stop. He just looked at Lucien with mute, pleading surrender.

“I am going to get up and go into the men’s bathroom,’ Lucien gave the low command, “In five minutes, when you’ve got some kind of control over yourself, you’re going to join me. And I am going to show you what happens when you think you can make me wait. Colour?”

That last word was ever so slightly softer, offered rather than dictated. Lucien never failed to check in with Stephen whenever they were playing. It was in their agreement, of course, but Stephen had the strong sense this was just how the man would be with all his partners, for all his domineering tendencies.

Stephen swallowed and glanced around. There weren’t many people in at this late hour, this bar was more of a sophisticated runway for a night out and most of the crowds had moved to somewhere louder and more raucous. Just a few couples, like them, more wrapped up in each other than anyone else, not quite ready to let their dates end. He did some nervous mathematics on how likely they were to get caught, balancing the number of other customers with his ability to double lock the door with magic, dividing in the failsafe that he could always use a little bit of fluence in a real emergency…

Hopeless degenerate, Day, his brain sighed.

“Green,” he murmured and he couldn’t help the grin that flickered to life on his face, just for a moment.

Lucien clearly forgave the break in character, answering with one of his own before composing himself and smoothly rising, looking effortlessly in control as he loped casually towards the gent’s. Stephen stared at his arse the entire time without much remorse. He’d already made his bed, after all.

He timed the five minutes on his phone, drinking the remainder of Lucien’s whiskey in the meantime, giving the heady, smoky taste of it every scrap of his attention in an attempt to redirect some blood flow. It took the full time before he judged himself ready to walk across the room, before he could scramble up and follow like a dog at his master’s call.

Twice in one day, Stephen found himself endlessly thankful for single-person bathrooms, as he was yanked into one by the front of his shirt and the door slammed behind him with the very reassuring click of a lock. He double secured it with a little magic, all the same, as Lucien kissed him fiercely.

“There you are,” Lucien purred once he was done bruising their lips, not letting go of Stephen’s lapels and keeping him awkwardly standing on his tiptoes, “Surprised you managed to wait the full five.”

“You told me too,” Stephen gasped, aware that Lucien’s eyes were looking into his shirt, hungrily tracing the lines of lace that were now visible.

Lucien chuckled, “Too late to try and be a good boy now, darling. Shirt open. Trousers down.”

Stephen willed the ether into work, knowing it always impressed Lucien just a little to see the buttons and zips and buckles falling away with apparently no effort at all. It was quicker too, only a few moments before he was as instructed, all of the lingerie now visible to Lucien’s searching gaze. He seemed to drink in the sight, his gaze ravenous as those grey eyes slid up and down the length of him.

“Didn’t I tell you that you’d look divine?” Lucien groaned appreciatively, running a finger under the lace trim below his chest, raising goosebumps as he went.

“Uh huh,” Stephen gasped, unable to be more articulate than that, his need drowning everything else, “My lord…”

“Against the sink, sweet boy,” those strong, slightly calloused hands took his shoulders and guided him until he was bracing himself on the edges of the sink, Lucien’s chest pressed against his back, “I want you to see yourself.”

So Stephen watched this other version of himself in the mirror, bathed in harsh light from overhead. He watched as his pupils blew wide, as his slightly swollen lips parted in a gasp when he felt Lucien shift to pull a bottle of something out of his jacket pocket. He watched this ethereal, high contrast version of himself flush as one large hand caressed the curve of his ass through the lace before hooking it to one side. He watched his eyelids flutter and his head tilt back when a slick finger teased him open, and saw his lace wreathed chest heave when it breached him. Stephen watched this man who was somehow him be opened and readied with care and attention, felt every moan reverberate in his own chest, felt his own nerves pulse and thrum with pleasure. And he found himself thinking, as much as he’d been unable to say it before, Lucien had been right.

He’d told him he’d look divine and he did. He’d told him he was beautiful and he was. Maybe he always had been.

“Ready?” Lucien murmured, grazing his earlobe with his teeth, “Give me a colour, sweet boy.”

“Green,” Stephen gasped, voice raw and ready to snap, “So green, my lord, please…”

He felt Lucien’s laugh echo through him, his arms coming around to press them close, “You need to be quieter, darling, or we’ll need to find a new date night place.”

“Well get on with fucking me then,” Stephen grumbled, forgetting himself in his desperation.

“Ah ah ah,” Lucien let his voice grow dangerous again, one hand snaking down to squeeze his aching cock through the lace panties, none too gently, “What kind of tone is that, sweet boy?”

Stephen whined, biting his lip and shuddering, “Sorry, my lord.”

“Better,” Lucien pulled his hand back, using it to unzip himself, “Don’t I always give you what you need?”

He proved his point as he moved the panties aside again, pressing into Stephen, now giving him everything he needed with no hesitation, right up to the hilt. Stephen had to fight to stay quiet, gripping the sink with white knuckles, planting his feet as far apart as he could to try and make room. Lucien paused, kissing the crown of his head, before finding a steady, natural rhythm with his hips, aware they didn’t exactly have a lot of time.

Stephen melted into it, gasps and grunts as soft as he could make them wrenching from his chest, shuddering as Lucien’s hands began roving again. Between the hand working him through the fabric and the cock pounding into him, the tension climbed punishingly fast, until he was scrabbling for balance, heart pounding, breath coming in desperate pants.

“I...fuck, Lucien, I’m there, I...oh god,” he gasped incoherently, arching back against his lover.

“I’ve got you,” Lucien groaned, shifting to work at a deeper angle, “Come for me, sweet boy.”

Stephen did, with a strangled moan, all of the waiting and teasing and tension unravelling in one blissful moment that turned his vision white. A heartbeat later he felt Lucien empty into him, heat pooling low in his stomach which then ignited into the familiar rush of power their lovemaking always gave him. He went rigid, feeling that rush that was so, so close to too much, but he knew it would ebb and leave him boneless and trembling in Lucien’s arms.

“We...may not have thought this through,” Lucien panted, steadying him gently.

“Because I’ve ruined the lovely underwear you got me?” Stephen murmured, closing his eyes a moment, “Because we’ve somehow got to clean ourselves up and walk out of here with some dignity? Because you might have to carry me because I’m not sure I can actually walk?”

Lucien chuckled, “All of that. But also…”

He held out his arms, showing the patches of tan skin where the magpies should be. They were off again, animated by Stephen’s magic, a few already exploring under the lace, pecking curiously.

“I really should have worn long sleeves,” Lucien admitted.

Stephen couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing, both hands flying to his mouth to try and muffle the sound. Lucien dissolved too, burying his face in Stephen’s curls as he shook with wracking laughter.

Stephen knew, with his trousers around his ankles and shirt slipping over one shoulder, standing in a public bathroom freshly fucked and wearing lace lingerie, he should be feeling like a hopeless degenerate. And he did, pleasantly so. But that wasn’t the only thing.

If anyone had asked him he would have denied it. But in that moment, Stephen felt loved.

[fortunately-bi]

Time for another help post. Help me get a car and get the fuck out.

Hopefully this one works this time now that I have cashapp. Anyway.

My name is Avery and things aren't going so hot right now. In my last help post I mentioned I live out in the middle of nowhere in Kentucky and I was doing my best to get out of here, but pay is shit and my dad makes me buy him expensive liquor and doesn't pay me back. I work in a liquor store where I'm treated like shit and can't plan my life with the way the schedule us and the job is starting to physically break me. At best my paychecks reach $550 which I don't see very often making an average paycheck of $470 biweekly. I don't have a good enough car to drive out to better jobs every day from my tiny town. I have $1700 in cash saved up that I'm possibly about to lose all of paying off a debt collector after negotiations didn't go in a position direction. There's so much other stuff going on that I just don't have the energy to put in this right now.

I never leave this town, I have no friends here and occasionally I have feared for my life with some people around here. I get stalkers, people threatening me for my looks, and unfortunately even Nazis get the guts to puff their chests out to me. I can't stay here another year gods forbid longer. I'm losing my mind, my mental health is plunging.

So what's my goal currently? Same as before, get a better car so I can get a better paying job. There's nothing for me in Kentucky, there's nothing worth it. I've looked at schools, I've looked at moving I've looked at my options. I don't care if I live in my car for a few months up north working better paying jobs, I just can't stay here any longer then I have to.

I know times are hard for everyone, I know everyone is struggling, I know I'm just another person on a long list of people going through it, but anything helps. I want to get out there and start making a difference in the world and helping people, I cant do that living here in suffering and never making any progress. Even a little bit will help me. Thank you.💜

Cashapp: https://cash.app/$SpicyTheArts

[anemonenemerosa]

The Spare - Chapter 4

Hello fellow people, here comes the fourth chapter of my fic. As always, this is a spinn-off of @lumosinlove Sweater-Weather, so the universe belongs to her, while the Harry Potter characters beling to JKR.

Please be careful if you feel triggered by past abuse topics.

Chapter 4

With an exasperated huff, Regulus chucked The Hobbit into a corner of his room.

After realising that no one even seemed to know of the existence of the light fiction in the library, he began to keep all relevant books he found in his room. By now, the stack on the floor was reaching his hip. But whatever he did, he could not distract himself from the impending game against the Lions this evening. He had neither seen nor heard from Sirius since the draft, he did not expect a call, and was rather indecisive on how to react to his brother.

It was the first time the brothers played against each other in an actual game, in the NHL no less. Of course, everyone supplied their unrequested suggestions, or rather demands. The Death Eaters wanted him to rile Sirius up, taking his focus off the game. His parents insisted that he had to outshine his brother, presenting himself as the genuine heir of Orion Black.

God forbid anyone considering to ask me about that, Regulus mused.

It was not his very first game in the NHL but surely the most sensational so far. The media was all but hyped about the game but the 'Brother Rivalry' overshadowed by the 'Captain Rivalry' and Sirius' broken ankle. He was relieved that Severus took up so much media presence but he did not fool himself. A lot of eyes were going to be on him. Hence his indetermination.

Following the Death Eaters lead to distract Sirius with chirping and slurs was not a viable option. He would probably rise in their graces but also draw public attention for gamesmanship, without doubt overshadowing his actual hockey performance, which he wanted to be noticed for. Of course, his parents would not appreciate Regulus taunting Sirius either. They wanted him put Sirius to shame by performance, not immature behaviour.

They expected Regulus to outrank the Captain of the rivalling team with six years of NHL experience is his sixth-ever game. Personal relations be damned, this is a hideous demand, Regulus scoffed, finally giving up on distracting himself from his brother and stepping into the shower.

Regardless of how hard he tried, he would always be seen in relation to Sirius. Thank you, brother. You just have to fart to overshadow my life. Merde... connard stupide!

  _________________________________________________________

It hadn’t always been like that, Regulus had to acknowledge. As small boy he looked up to his bigger brother. He cared for him in a different way than their parents. While they clothed, fed and trained him, Sirius was the one who hugged and comforted Regulus when their father scolded him for being shy and introverted.

“A hockey player does not hide in corners!”, Orion used to spit, his patience always on the meagre side.

Sirius loved him in a different way than Walburga and Orion, cheering him up instead of punishing him when he messed up.

“You need to toughen up, boy” his father explained one day, “You have been pampered too much. Crying and asking for cuddles is for girls.”  

But his older brother would hear nothing of it. Sirius instructed Regulus to sneak into Sirius' bed after nightmares and during stormy nights. Thinking of it now, Regulus realised that he must have been as much of a comfort for Sirius as the other way around.

From the beginning of Regulus life, Sirius was famous for his talent but it did not affect their relationship until he was getting prepared for a professional career as soon as he turned twelve; spending the summers in training camps and receiving additional private lessons at the rink in their basement. They saw each other infrequently and Sirius was mostly too tired for playing with Regulus if he got a bit of spare time. That did not stop them from secretly snuggling up in bed.

However, their dynamics began to shift as the rising success of his brother took up all attention from their parents. Whatever concerned Sirius was more important and Regulus began to feel a constant sting of jealousy souring his mood. Then puberty hit Sirius hard, causing him to rebel against his tight schedule. Regulus was eight when he began asking Sirius to obey just to make their parents stop beating him and nine when Sirius gave in.

Daft fool, Regulus thought while scrubbing his hair with a bar of soap. If he had just kept his head down... but that wasn't Sirius.

Well, Regulus was able to learn from other people’s mistakes, kept quiet and secured himself a comparingly unbothered time. At least for a while.

Sirius draft to no other team than the Gryffindor Lions had had a severe impact, not only on Sirius' life. He remembers his brothers’ conflict after the call: The excitement from being picked first over all from a strong team mingled with the dread from their parent’s wrath concerning the particular team. Back then, Regulus did not understand the uproar. He was twelve, hadn't learned about the end of his father’s career and wanted his brother to be happy for living his dream. God, he even sneaked in a Lions hat for Sirius. Mrs. Kreacher, albeit reluctantly, bought the item during her weekly errands. Their ancient house-maid always had a soft spot for calm little Regulus that did not extend to his boisterous older brother, but making Regulus happy seemed to outweigh her reservations.

Once Sirius had left to live with the Dumais family, Regulus suddenly became the sole focus of their parent’s energy. As he was twelve, he was subjected to the same extensive training as Sirius and while he was absolutely able to hold a candle to his older brother, it was nothing to knock their parents' socks off. Sirius had already been there and Regulus keeping up was just expected, business as usual, not a big deal.

Eventually, learned what ended Orion’s hockey career. A centre of the Lions had sent him crashing into the boards, causing irreparable damage to his father’s spine. And while his father had to leave the rink forever, the other player wasn't even penalised. This put the drama about Sirius draft into perspective. Still, Regulus missed his brother immensely but after two years of dwindling visits, he got annoyed. Sirius rare calls more and more turned into chorus of praise for his team and especially the Dumais'. He was more and more badmouthing their upbringing and telling Regulus off for defending their parents. "Tu ne comprends pas, Reg." You don't understand. Of course, he never understood, did he? Little naive Reg did not just see how his brother went and found himself a better family, preferring to spend his time with them instead of his actual family, with him. No, Reg was not left-behind, he did just not understand!

_____________________________________________________________

“Je serai toujours ton frère, Reg!” Oh, fuck you!

It has been several weeks since he allowed all the memories and feelings concerning his brother to surface and it always hurt him but for now, he would channel the feelings of abandonment, anger and disappointment into determination. He would at least try and make his parents proud, would treat Sirius as much as any other player as he could, brother or not.

“Hockey is about winning, not fun, not comradery!”, his father used to stress constantly.

Regulus took that to heart. He stepped out of the shower, very wrinkly but ready to let his performance speak for him.

Soo that was chapter 4 for you, I hope you enjoyed it. Stay save and channel your inner Hufflepuff

[secret-ssociety]

Soulmate

Pairing: college!Peter Parker x Reader Warnings: Harassment, cursing, a little angst, a liiiittle violence, fluff Summary: Girl meets boy. Girl goes on a date with boy. Girl tells boy to be just friends at the end of the date. Boy spreads rumors about girl. Girl gets harassed in campus. Girl has a conversation with best friend about dating and soulmates. Fluff follows. A/N: not like a trigger warning but there is a some God-related talk in the following lines and if that makes you uncomfortable don’t bother reading because I don’t want complaints

Masterlist

When Peter graduated high school he made a vow to himself to no more silent crushes. His days of stealing glances and staring in awe from across the hall were over. Of course he hadn’t met you yet.

Right into his first day in his dorm, his roommates had started ranting about a girl, a freshman like himself, that was absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. She came from California, they only knew that much about her, even her name was a mystery.

The next day, at his first class, he saw you enter to his same class room and instantly knew you were her. He didn’t even need you to introduce yourself, you were exactly what everyone had described and he immediately understood why everyone was head over heels for you.

You were shyly looking for a place to seat before the class started and Peter didn’t know what had taken over himself when he pointed to the sit next to him and said “this seat is empty” but you looked at him with the most beautiful smile he had ever seen and he didn’t regretted it.

One could say things moved on pretty fast from that moment on between the two of you, you gave him your number at the end of the class and had lunch together the next day, started studying together which led to you meeting his roommates (and befriending them easily now that you were more comfortable in college) and basically spending any free moment together. He even adjusted Spider-Man’s schedule to be able to hang out with you. 

In no time, you were best friends and he knew from good source (Aunt May) that college friendships were known to be more lasting, which would’ve been great if a friendship was all he wanted with you. To say that he liked you was an understatement, he loved you, he wanted to marry you and be the father of your children. Not that he was going to say anything any time soon, though.

You were at the beginning of fifth semester and he still hadn’t said anything.

Silent crush.

But now it was march and the new year was just picking up. That particular day was sunny, the air smelled like spring, classes had ended early and it was the easiest part of the semester anyway. Everything was great, right?

Wrong.

Because you were at a date with some frat douche at that very moment. Therefore Peter was laying face down on his bed, windows closed, lights shut and not making the slightest human interaction. His roommates had been trying to get him out of bed for the past hour and, seeing that none of their efforts paid off, they decided a more intense approach was needed.

They turned him around violently, two grabbed his legs, one grabbed his arms and he was dragged (thrown) to the shower under the threat that they wouldn’t let him get out of the bathroom until he got his shit together. By that moment, he already knew his friends pretty well and he knew they were absolutely capable of starving him and using the bathroom of a gas station if they had to, so cooperating was his best option.

Once he was clean and dressed, he was dragged to a party he didn’t even know was happening. None of his friends left his side, which he deep down appreciated, and tried vigorously to cheer him up, trying to tell him that you were not the only girl out there and pointing at many others present at the party. But none of them were his Y/N.

It was probably eleven o’clock when he was able to go back to the apartment he shared with his three friends. He threw the keys over the coffee table and made his way towards his room, where he plopped on his bed sticking his face between his hands.

A slight knock on his window startled him and when he turned around he saw you standing on the fire exit with half a smile, he quickly opened the window and greeted you, instantly noticing that you weren’t as happy and cheerful as you usually were.

“How was your date?” he risked to ask, feeling his heart clench, you just shrugged sitting on his bed, your back turned to him “not that great, I don’t think there will be another one” you answered playing with your fingers. Don’t smile don’t smile don’t smile he thought. You had picked your hair in a ponytail and were wearing a short pink dress, you were looking so cute it almost hurt. 

He opened his mouth to ask but you talked first “I really don’t want to talk about it. I came here as soon as he dropped me off, I hope you don’t mind” he quickly shook his head no and you sighed, facing him for the first time “can I stay over? The girls will want to interrogate me and I don’t feel like it,” Peter nodded with a sweet smile caressing your cheek.

A small smile cracked in your lips, just to fade when you turned around to take off your shoes and free your hair from the hair tie, you had already wiped your make up off with some baby wipes you kept at your purse so you just proceeded to lay on the bed, your head finding your rightful place in Peter’s chest.

“Were you drinking? You smell like rum” you said after a few seconds and felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled.

“Well, I had to do something while you ditched me” he joked, feeling your smile before falling sleep.

Peter caressed your hair absently, making you crack a small smile in your sleep. You had already slept together, no big deal, specially at finals each semester where you took any moment you could and napped together, but his heart still fluttered when you cuddled against him. It was beating so fast, he couldn’t understand how it hadn’t woken you up.

He knew very little about your date, he only knew he was an economics major, his name was Michael and how did he land a spot at the MIT remained a mystery. If he had landed a spot in the University of Arizona, it would remain a mystery. How he graduated high school remained a mystery.

... okay, maybe he didn’t know that much.

But he hated that guy’s guts for the only reason of having the courage to ask you on a date and the luck to have you say yes. When you told him, he couldn’t believe it. In your three years of college you had never went on a date and not for lack of suitors. Eventually your singleness prompted dozens of myths among freshmen.

You were a lesbian. You were asexual. You were a virgin with vaginismus. You were an alien and whoever attempted to get you laid would see the tentacles you tried so hard to hide. You were part of a cult that forbid you from fancying anyone. You were part of a cult that encouraged you to fancy people and lure them into a cave where you had to sacrifice them to pagan gods, but you didn’t since your affiliation to said cult came only from your parents being founders of it so it was easier to not see anyone.

Freshmen’s creativity could be terrifying.

But somehow this asshole, with nothing that made him somehow more special than any of the dozens of idiots that had asked you out before, had landed a date.

Lucky for Peter, you didn’t want to got on a second date with the lucky bastard and now he could go right back into silently planning the rest of your lives together in peace. Or so he thought.

It was about two in the morning when you slowly started to get up form the bed, trying not to wake Peter up. “Where’re you going?” you heard his sleepy voice when you were slowly opening the door, you turned “I have a two hour lecture in half an hour” you replied vaguely, your cold tone almost hurt but Peter understood that you weren’t in a good mode, “why?” was all he could manage to say.

You smiled fondly looking at Peter’s sleepy and confused self, you walked over him and laid him down gently, running your fingers through his hair “I arrived to inscription late” you explained making Peter laugh “idiot” he mumbled and you rolled your eyes “good night, loser.”

You were at the door when, again, his voice stopped you, “you sure you’re okay?” he asked shyly and you smiled at him “yeah, I mean it’s over.”

Little did you know it was still far from over.

Apparently Michael didn’t like being rejected and within twelve hours he managed to have the whole campus talking about how you were ungrateful, a tease and a prude, among other things. Turn the other cheek you kept telling to yourself, but it continued getting harder and harder.

Guys walked next to you with a mocking smirk, subtly mumbling something about you being a bitch that thought she was better than them and leading poor Michael on when finding out he had a massive crush on you. Girls gave you the side eye while, not so subtly, calling you a slutty prude —if that makes any sense— and how Michael was so handsome they would have “finished what you started.”

Now, Peter had never been one to start a fight, he was rather pacific, but when a group of you date’s classmates whispered the words “fucking tease” when passing you through the hall, he snapped. His sight blurred and suddenly everything he could see was red. He had been hearing comments about you all the fucking day and just couldn’t take him anymore.

He wasn’t very tall or overly muscly, but he pushed that guy with an unreasonable amount of strength. Everyone stood there in absolute shock, even the guy, who was obviously a jock, but as soon as Peter took another step towards him you grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to his apartment before he caused more of a scene.

“What the fuck is wrong with everyone today?” he asked as soon as the entered the living room, you sat on the couch, clearly tired, and he sat down in front of you on the coffee table grabbing your hands tenderly, the softness of his touch almost made you cry after the day you’d had, “what happened on that date?”

You sighed “I just told him I wanted to be friends” you whispered glancing at the floor “I never knew how curious people could be about me not wanting to go on dates. Michael asked and I wasn’t sure how to explain him that when he asked me it felt different.

“Different?” he asked.

“It felt right” you answered and couldn’t ignore the way his jaw clenched.

“I don’t want to be like the people here, Peter” you explained quietly “people like to just see people to keep themselves entertained, that’s not what I want. What do you want?” you asked him. “I guess...” he started thinking “I want someone who’s going to make me feel that I have everything in the world, who sets a before and after in my life.”

You crossed your legs in butterfly, leaning a little into him and not letting go of his hands “I know what everyone says about not overthinking the future and living in the moment, but I feel like if you’re not dating for marriage, you’re dating for heartbreak. Maybe not even marriage, but a lifetime commitment” you explained gently playing with his fingers, he decided to return the touch “you want to get married?” he asked cautiously.

“Yeah. Someday” you replied.

The Sun had started to fall pretty quickly, leaving you in darkness except for the soft light of the lamp pole outside the window, since neither of you had turned the lights on on your way in.

“And you want that to be with the one” he continued. He didn’t know what he was doing. Maybe he was doing what he thought he was doing. Maybe he was doing something completely different.

“I know it sounds dumb, childish” you sighed “but I believe that God created each and one of us for someone else, that there is a particular person out there that is meant to fit us. I know that’s part of the plan He has for every one of us.”

Until this day, Peter had never really heard you talk about God, conversations simply never led to that topic, but know he just couldn’t take his eyes off of you, he couldn’t stop dreaming about what you were saying. You were practically whispering, so he leaned into your voice.

“And when I pray for love” you proceeded “I don’t pray for Him to send me someone. Michael is someone, the guys on the hall were someone, Mark, John and Carlos are someone. I don’t want someone. I want not a boyfriend but a life-mate. I want the love of my life.”

The two had, unconsciously, leaned into each other, your faces inches away, your slow breathing hitting each other’s face.

“How will you know when you find the right person?” you were still playing with each other’s fingers.

“Maybe I won’t right away” you said after a couple seconds, looking at the mess of your fingers in his while his eyes lingered on your face “that happens to a lot of people, but I don’t know if it will be the same for me. I don’t expect to be love at first sight, but maybe familiarity. One day looking into their eyes and seeing everything you want in life, feeling the hand your meant to hold the rest of your days” slowly, you intertwined his fingers with yours.

You looked at him, despite the darkness in the room, gazing into his lips, his jaw, his nose, his cheeks, his eyes... You thought about him in the last couple of years, how he had cared for you, opened you to his life, how you almost looked for him after a test, a hard lecture or simply a bad day, longing for his embrace, how you had went to his place as soon as your date was over, the way you always seemed to gravitate towards him...

Haltingly you leaned into each other, almost as if physically pulled. Your lips where slightly parted as his own brushed the tip of them softly, your own breath got stucked in your chest at the feeling of his touch but that didn’t stop you from ending the gap and meeting his kiss.

It was slow, caring, even careful, completely unhurried as you felt a complete fulfillness wash over you, fitting perfectly on his soft lips and feeling something similar to when you’re putting together a puzzle and one of the pieces falls right into place. His hand found a place in the back of your neck to sweetly pull you closer, if possible, and your hand cupped his cheek.

“I think it’s you, Peter Parker” you whispered “It’s going to be you.”

[natasha-romanoff-deserved-better]

Children of Yesterday- Chapter Five

Summary:

Standing in front of him, are two more children, only slightly older than the one he had found. The blonde child was freakishly skinny with dark bags under his eyes, and was standing with another black-haired slightly taller child who had a bony arm wrapped around him.

The blonde was wearing an over-sized Captain America costume that drowned him, and the other only wearing a leather jacket with sleeves that covered his hands and fell to his knees.

Tony almost chokes.

The blonde in the Captain America costume. The black-haired child standing over him. The scared, timid kid on his hip with glasses and bruises.

He knows who these kids are.

.

After an accident with Hydra and the time stone, Tony and Rhodey are left with six of their teammates turned into young children. Trying to keep the six young, traumatized and rambunctious children safe all while finding a cure and attempting to give them a taste of a real childhood might be their biggest mission yet.

Continue reading below or click here to read on AO3! 

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The car ride goes as well as any of them expected, with the six kids arguing over who got to sit where; who got the window seats, who got to choose what radio station they listened too, how hot or cold the car should be, and even who had the “best” seatbelt, whatever the hell that meant. Thankfully, they reached the tower within fifteen minutes, and the sight of it stunned all six into total silence.

“Whoa,” Clint breathes out, after several seconds of awe. “Coolest foster home ever!”

Tony doesn’t bother to correct him.

Tony and Pepper leave the car out front, Friday taking over control to direct it into the garage. Rhodey meets them inside, having flown his suit back.

“I confiscated all the weapons in the common areas. Or…. All the weapons I could find. You never know with…” He stops himself from saying Clint and Natasha’s names, realizing how much confusion it would create. “With those two.”  

“Rhodey, you are an absolutely savior.” Tony praises.

“I’ll go find everyone some pajamas from their rooms,” Pepper tells, frowning at the hospital clothing the kids were still wearing. “At least some old T-shirts would be better to sleep in, I’m sure.”

Tony stares at the kids. They stare back.

“Who’s tired?” They say nothing. “Right…well. You’re all going to sleep anyways. Because I know none of you got much before you Houdini-ed your way out of SHIELD.”

It had already been decided, wordlessly, that none of them would be spending the nights in their original adult rooms. The main worry had been Clint and Natasha and the sheer number of weapons they had hidden all over their quarters, but it would also be much easier to keep an eye on all of them if they were all on the same floor.

The tower had a floor consisting all of guest rooms- It had been a joke at first, mainly from his wild playboy days. Now, it was used for guests staying overnight, be it for parties, galas, or several day long conferences. It was usually the safest option for many, eliminating the need for hotels and allowing the meetings to take place with much more secrecy. Tony loaded them all into elevator and brought to them to the guest room floor.

Whether they were willing to admit it or not, it was obvious they were all tired. For one, Bruce couldn’t stop yawning every other minute or so, which would set off a chain reaction through all the kids. Sam and Clint were both rubbing their eyes, Steve and Bucky looked like they were about to drop dead. Even Natasha was showing signs of tiredness, her eyes drooping closed for split second before jerking back up.

Pepper meets them on the floor, holding old shirts that she passes out to each respective owner. After everyone has their shirts, Tony randomly assigns each their own room. Steve and Bucky completely ignore him and enter the same room.

After everyone is all settled into their rooms, Tony is headed towards the end of the hallway to the suite room when Natasha pokes her head out her door.

“You forgot about me.”

“What?” Tony’s brows furrow, trying to think what she could possibly mean. She simply holds out her wrist to him, an expectant look on her face. “Sorry, kiddo, but you’re gunna have to help me out here a bit more. What’s wrong?”

Natasha drops her arm in annoyance at his ignorance. “Handcuff?”

“Oh. No, Nat, god. No, no handcuffs.” Tony crouches to her level, hoping to get his point across. “You’re free to move around as you wish here. Got that?”

If the look on her face is anything to go off of, Natasha does not got it. Her nose is scrunched up and forehead creased slightly in confusion, but she still nods.

“Alright, good. I’m just going to be down in that room over there, so you can call me if you need anything at all, yeah?”

Natasha nods again, whispers a quiet “thank you, sir” and steps back into her room, leaving Tony dumbfounded in the hallway.

---------------

Tony closes the door, leaning his back against it. “Oh, god.” His hands come up to rub at his face.

From her side on their bed, Pepper lowers her book and raises an eyebrow at him.

“What the hell did I do, Pepper? What the fuck was I thinking?”

“You were thinking about their best interests—”

“Best interests,” He scoffs. “I’m me, Pep. I can’t take care of six kids! Hell, I can’t even take care of myself!” He runs his hands through his hair, grabbing tufts and pulling slighting. “Oh, god.”

“Tony- just breathe for a minute,”

“Fucking hell. What if something happens to them? It will be all my fault. What if they run away from me as well? Or if I crash the car while driving them somewhere? What if,- I don’t give them enough food and they starve and.. Oh god, I don’t even know if any of them have any food allergies or not? There’s no way Steve isn’t allergic to something. And these kids are way too smart for their age. You should have seen them on those tapes. Jesus Christ, I’m going to get them killed. There’s no doubt about it.”

“Tony.” Pepper demands. He looks up at her, panic written all over his face. She pulls back the silk sheets covering her and opens an arm in invitation. “Come here.”

Tony scrambles over to her, climbing up onto the bed and then her, resting his head on her chest. She pulls the covers back up over them, hugs him close. “I can’t do this, Pepper. I don’t know how to take care or interact with kids. Especially not kids with their backgrounds…. I don’t want to ruin them even more. That’s what I do. I ruin people.”

The last sentence, she knows, is a reference to his weapon making past, but also to Peter. She chooses to ignore it- they don’t need to go down that rabbit hole tonight- and keeps the focus on the team.

“The kids are going to be fine. They’re tough. And if god forbid anything does happen, we’ll get through it. The same as we do everything else. You have me. And Rhodey… And Happy, if Peter hasn’t given him one too many heart attacks yet.”

Tony snorts out a laugh at the mention of Happy and nuzzles deeper into his partner.

---------------

“I’m not sure that’s a great idea, Tony,” Pepper says, eyeing the children who are sitting at the table, happily munching on their breakfast of pancakes. It’s a stark difference from one hour prior, when Steve and Bucky had woken everyone up with their screaming after FRIDAY had said something to them.

(In retrospect, he probably should have mentioned the ceiling will talk back to you last night, but oh well.)

“We can just order clothes and whatever we need from online.”

She’s right- they could. It would be the easiest thing to do.

But Tony remembers his clothes as a kid. Always too itchy or rough or too soft, never the fun colors or designs like the other kids got to wear, never what he actually wanted. There had never been anyone around who could be bothered enough to take him to a store, to wait while he picked out his own things.

“I’m taking them.”

Pepper sighs. “Well just know you two are on your own.” She checks the time on her watch, a habit. “I have all kinds of things I need to settle, since it seems as if you’re going to be out of commission for a while.”

He knew she was right, even though he was tempted to beg her to come with. He and Rhodey only knew so much about kids, but she had seemed to have some kind of natural maternal instinct with them. He would be willing to bet his whole company that she would have no problem controlling the kids. But there were meetings, galas, conferences, so many things in his schedule that Pepper now that to cancel or reschedule or do herself.

---------------------

The kids pour out of the cars as Tony stands aimlessly, staring at the building of the mall.

“Which stores even have kids clothing? I don’t know any of these names.”

Rhodey has beaten him to it, again, pulling out a google list on his phone. “Let’s start with… uh, that place.” He points some doors to his left, double checking the name of the store. “I don’t know. It’s a kid store and has five stars, so...”

“Good enough for me.”

They herd the kids the best they can towards the store, not wanting to lose anyone before the first ten minutes. Tony was about to just open the doors and turn the kids buck wild, but Rhodey stopped them all before entering.

“Okay, guys. Here’s the rules. You be nice to the employees, and don’t be disruptive. That means no screaming, yelling, fighting. None of that. And no leaving the store. You can go off by yourself within the store but don’t go out. Got it?” They all nod.

Tony adds on. “Yeah, what he said. But other then that just grab whatever you like and that fits. Price doesn’t matter, yeah?”

The kids run off in all different directions, each going towards whichever section caught their eye the most. He gives some time to run around by themselves, before going to check on them.

Bruce has stuck to mostly neutral colors, gray and brown sweaters hanging off his arms with the same pair of jeans hanging over his arm. Sam has gone ambitious, picking out shirts with the most obnoxious patterns and designs Tony has seen.

Steve and Bucky have each picked out a few things, but glancing at them, Tony can tell the clothes the two boys are holding are not their correct size.

“Those are way too big, you two. Do you know how to check sizes?”

“No, we know how.” Steve tells him, going red slightly. “It’s just that…it’s good to get bigger clothes. So you have room to grow.”

Realization dawns on Tony as he recalls this is most likely a symptom of being depression era kids.

“Steve, Bucky. Get your correct size. I promise I have more than enough money to buy more clothes the second either of you two grow an inch, okay?”

“How do you have so much money?” Bucky asks, but Steve shoves at his arm.

“Don’t be rude, Buck!”

“It’s not rude, I’m just asking!”

“Guys, it’s okay. Just trust me on this. Money won’t ever be an issue while you’re with me, alright? I want you to have things that fit you.” Deciding quickly to make it less about them and more himself, he adds, “It would really make me feel a lot better if you did that.”

That does it for them, and the pair returns the wrong sizing before moving to a completely different section to find the correct ones.

Checking in on Clint, he finds Natasha trailing after him several feet away, her arms empty. Tony frowns.

“Not finding anything you like, Nat?”

She shrugs.  

“Well. Why don’t you let me know what you like, and I can help you look?” She shrugs again. Wrapping her arms around her torso, she whispers something, too quiet for Tony to hear. “What?”

“I don’t know what I like. We do not choose clothes in Russia.”

“Oh. Right.” Of course she was confused. She had most likely never been given a choice of clothes before in her life. He racks his brain to try and think of what she might like. Black. Black was a safe option. He glances around himself for a few seconds before finding a plain black tank top and pulling it off the hanger. “What about this? It’s soft- here, feel it.”

Natasha tentatively reaches out a hand to run a small finger over the fabric, lips quirking up slightly at the smooth texture. Tony figures that’s the best he’s going to get from her and places the top into her hands.

He helps her pick out several other things. He tries other colors, but she seems to actively hate almost everything else. At one point, he pulls out a purple shirt, and she doesn’t sneer at the color like she has all the others, so he counts it as good enough and begins loading her up with purple things as well.

To the side, he can hear Rhodey speaking with Clint, suggesting Clint get some shirts other than graphic tees, and Clint’s flabbergasted “why would I do that?”

Once all the kids have each gathered a decent number of tops and bottoms, Tony and Rhodey gather them all up to pay for all the new clothing. Sam and Clint are both bouncing on the heels of their feet, trying and failing to contain their excitement at getting so many new clothes. Rhodey has the brilliant thought to distract Steve and Bucky when the cashier tells him the price for all the items, as to avoid a freak out from the two.

One store down, Tony and Rhodes steer the group into another child clothing store, hoping to load up on as much as possible in one trip. Tony prayed they were just being overly cautious, and his teammates would be back to normal before they had a chance to wear all their new outfits.

It’s going well, Tony assures himself- Steve and Bucky have gotten more confident after the first store and have amassed a good amount of clothes between the two of them, Bruce has decided to go a little more adventurous this time and pick a green long sleeved. Natasha only has one thing, but she picked it out all on her own. Sam and Clint are-

Not there.

Tony whips around, eyes scanning the store frantically for the two boys. He had just seen them, not even five minutes ago. They’re not on the floor. Not in the dressing rooms.

“Rhodey!” Tony calls loudly, ignoring the ugly look sent at him from a middle-aged woman. “Have you seen Clint and Sam? Please tell me you’ve seen them.”

Rhodey copies the same move Tony had done just seconds earlier, twists around to sweep the store, as if Tony just hadn’t looked hard enough.

“I knew I’d lose them eventually. Fuck.”

His glasses-FRIDAY- sensing his stress levels, points him to the east, signaling to him she had picked up the two’s heat signatures in that direction. Tony and Rhodey take off, the other four kids following closely at their heels.

FRIDAY directs them, and they end up in the Disney store, surrounded by bright lights and colors and children’s music blasting from the ceiling speakers. “Sam! Clint!” He calls out loudly, ignoring the stink eye he gets from a mother holding a snotty nosed sleeping baby in her arms. The two boys pop out from between some aisles, each holding several toys in their arms.

“Tony! Look what we found! Look how cool!” Sam runs up to show him the toys they had found. Clint hangs back slightly, eyeing Tony for a second before dejectedly placing the toys onto a rack near him. Tony watches this, feels a slight tug on his heart strings.

“Clint,” Clint’s eye shot back up to his, a trace of guilt in his face. “Pick them back up. You’re not in trouble.” Tony turns to the other four, who Rhodey is standing behind. “Why don’t you all go pick out some toys or stuffed animals you like, yeah?”

Steve and Bucky link hands and hurry over to the aisle with the dress up solider uniforms, while Natasha hesitates but makes her way over near Clint, who points out a Simba lion stuffie to her. She rolls the fluffy ears between her fingers, before smiling slightly and pulling it into her arms.

By the time they’re all finished, the pile of stuffed animals and toys on the cash register is absurd, but the beaming faces of his teammates make it worth it. Over the pile, the girl working the register flicks her eyes between Tony and Rhodey and the kids.

“They’re adorable,” she says, smiling at them. “Must be quite the handful with so many. Are they all yours?”

Tony snorts. “You’re telling me. And, uh, yeah. Mostly. Something like that,” He says, not quite sure exactly how to answer.

She nods, looking between the two adults again and smile growing bigger. “Well, I think it’s wonderful. I can’t believe there are some groups out there that would try and stop you two from adopting,”

“Hm?” Tony says, reaching into his wallet to pull out his black card, only half heartedly listening. “Oh yeah, for sure. We- wait, what?”

“Oh, I’m just saying, clearly you two are very loving dads.”

“Oh! Um,” Tony splutters, completely caught off guard. This is not what he was expecting to have to deal with today. Natasha trying to stab someone, sure. Steve somehow ending up in a hospital from a freak medical illness, fine. Clint climbing up a clothing rack, whatever. But not being mistaken for a gay couple with six children with his best friend.

Next to him, Rhodey is laughing. The bastard. Rhodey throws an arm around Tony’s shoulders and pulls him in, playing it up, and plants a sloppy kiss onto his cheek.

Thankfully, before Rhodey could pull anything else, the cashier scans the last stuffed animal and lets him know the final price. Tony happily pays it and hurries the kids out of the store, bags upon bags of new clothes and toys.

[ootori-sibs]

Kyoya's second shot

Chapter seven: Big brother to the rescue!

It's unlikely that two days are just perfect as each other, you cannot simply have the best day of your life, then have the same day tomorrow. And unfortunately common occurrence is for one day to be wonderful, simply the best, then the next day to be empty and hollow- even if nothing bad happens; the lack of the joy makes a normal day seem even worse. That was how Sunday went for Kyoya; he couldn't even talk to Tamaki over text, as he was spending the day with Haruhi.

He had woken up in Tamaki's bed, alone. Tamaki had already left to go and spend time with Haruhi, having left a note and some of Kyoya's favourite foods for breakfast. Kyoya had barely picked at it, not feeling all too hungry, but he didn't want to upset Tamaki, so he finished the food before leaving. The ride home was silent, Kyoya simply read through Arai's report of the day spent with Haruhi. Apparently they'd spent the day reading and sitting in the local park, nothing really romantic in the slightest- Kyoya had to wonder if Arai had even tried.

The moment he'd gotten home, he stumbled upstairs, completely ignoring his brother who was visiting for the day, he made a b-line for his bedroom, crawling under the covers and just hiding. He had lain like this for the entire summer holiday, so what was one day more? He wasn't being selfish, he was just tired, a whole day outside had taken a lot out of him. He barely glanced up to read the shadow council group chat, oh… they were calling him slurs again. Maybe he should just sleep.

But Eclair reminded him that he'd scheduled a meeting with the council today, so he took about an hour to compose himself enough to at least sit up, the many blankets still wrapped around his head and body- if they wanted to judge him he couldn't care less, he felt as if he could cry without the soft pressure from his blankets. His maids had brought him lunch, along with a note from his brother, asking if he wanted to talk or hang out… Kyoya sighed at that, Yuuichi was always trying to bond with him, it was strange; why would he want to spend time with Kyoya when he could spend that time working? If Kyoya had a job he'd do absolutely nothing else, how dare his brother spend so much time doing nothing at all yet still be the favourite.

Kyoya had turned his laptop on, setting up the meeting before inviting all his council, they did have work to do after all. "Good afternoon everyone."

Eclair was simply sat on a chaise lounge, drinking wine and smoking, clearly just showing off that she could do that kind of thing. Nekozawa was sat in a dark room, lit only by candles, he was missing both his wig and cloak, and sat there with his regal features- if he wasn't such a creepy guy, maybe Kyoya would be attracted to him. Akira was hunched over his desk, looking incredibly stressed to be in this call, good. Seika was laying on her bed, legs in the air like she was in an American movie about teens, it was uncanny. Chika was sitting in a quiet corner of a garden, there were a couple of baby ducks in the background, just chirping about. Arai, ever the lovely commoner, was simply in his kitchen, making his lunch as they spoke.

Kyoya sighed, adjusting his glasses, "first thing I have to address; Arai, how did yesterday go?"

The commoner boy barely glanced at him, busy making food, "well it was alright I suppose, I sent a message about it didn't I?"

"You did, but I'd like you to make a formal report for the rest of the council."

"Alright then," Arai nods, chopping some tomatoes, "we went to the park and read books together, I bought her a milkshake with ice-cream. She complained about school, I let her-" he clearly pause, putting the knife down for a moment, "she complained about you at one point actually."

Kyoya froze, Haruhi was complaining about him? What did he do? Did she know? If she was complaining to Arai, imagine what she could be saying to Tamaki at that very moment… Kyoya's hands were already shaking as he wrapped his blankets around himself even more, "what did she say?"

"Oh she just said some stuff about how you've been really pushy and snappy lately, also like- totally going through someone but kind of being a dick about it." Like all commoners, Arai spoke bluntly, but there was something in his tone, in the way he paused when he saw Kyoya's expression, his gaze softening… "hey, those aren't her exact words, just a bit of paraphrasing. Don't worry about it, she doesn't suspect a thing, also I mean; she's not wrong, you're clearly going through someone, and you're clearly lashing out- forgive me for getting too personal." He had smiled, before turning to continue making his lunch.

Kyoya didn't know how to respond to that, how dare that commoner see straight through him- but he wasn't cruel about it… like anyone else in existence would be, Kyoya felt himself bristle nonetheless, his pride forbidding him from accepting any care. "Oh look, the basket case is about to start crying and we've barely started the meeting." Ayanokoji had made a cruel comment, one that people laughed at, Arai was ignoring the meeting now, clearly he was only going to speak when asked to. Kyoya's fists clenched, he felt like he was about to put a hole through his laptop… he'd done that before, he remembered his father's reaction, he'd been grounded for two weeks after that. He hated to imagine what would happen the second time. So he took a deep breath, glaring down the camera.

"I'm sorry, Ayanokoji, why don't you tell us any new ideas you've had?" His tone was clear; she'd already been reprimanded for the graffiti, so any inappropriate idea would be criticised heavily- especially by a shadow king in a foul mood. Her eyes had gone wide, and she lay flat, glancing about a little nervously.

"Oh, well…" it was clear she hadn't thought of a single thing, "well I was thinking… oh! Maybe I could drug her coffee? Or ruin her work for classes? Or spread a nasty rumour..?" Kyoya thought about these options, letting the other council members speak first however, as he already knew his opinion.

Chika was the first to speak, "you're gonna poison the crossdresser??" His words got the attention of the other people in the call who weren't paying attention, such as Arai and Eclair; one of whom seemed a lot less onboard than the other.

Kyoya shook his head, "we will not be drugging her, as easy as it would be for me to get my hands on a harmless dose of something, we are better than that- we are smarter than that. Your other two ideas however, are fine. However; only ruin her schoolwork once, as we don't want to get her expelled."

"I thought we were trying to ruin her life?" Akira spoke up, why was he even still allowed to speak? Kyoya respected the commoner more than he could ever respect this newsboy.

So he rolls his eyes, adjusting how he's sat, "don't be foolish, we're just trying to drive her away from Tamaki, I harbour no real ill will towards the commoner- she is simply in the way. Now," he looks down at where Akira was on the screen, before his eyes filter back up to the webcam, staring straight into the lense, "I suggest you bite your tongue, Komatsuzawa, you're on thin ice here as it is." It seemed to work, the boy glanced away from the screen, biting his thumb and going silent.

Seika laughed, "god, what a baby. Sucking his thumb cause he got told off, how absolutely pathetic." Her words clearly annoyed Akira, but he was notably silent and the call was quiet for a second until Tonnerre spoke up.

"Ootori isn't much better," she addressed Seika, ignoring the other folks in the call as she lifted a glass of red to her lips, "he's all bundled in blankets like a baby, you can see his lunch behind him; there's even milk." She doesn't laugh, she doesn't even smile, but there's an airy huff that tells Kyoya she finds herself quite amusing, Seika's chuckling doesn't make it feel any better.

But she's not the only one laughing, Chika, the little brat, seems to find this oh so funny. "He's more of a baby then some of the people in my class! No wonder my brother hangs out with him!" Such childish laughter, and yet Kyoya feels more obliged to defend Honey with that insult then to defend himself… though he knew how it felt to be a younger brother, he found himself unable to sympathise with Chika at all in this regard.

He just stayed silent, not wanting to speak and incriminate himself for anything, he knew he could move his blankets but he felt if he did so he might just cry. So he stayed completely still, staring at the screen. Luckily the sound of cruel laughter was silenced by Nekozawa speaking up, "Ootori-san may have some clear issues, but it's not as if he embarrassed himself to the degree you did Ayanokoji-chan," he was smiling at her, expression and words completely harmless, though of course dear Seika took great offence, gasping at the very idea of her being worse than Kyoya.

The meeting delved into insults and jokes, slurs being thrown around as if it were middleschool again… Kyoya just sat there, hands shaking, as he watched Arai's screen. Arai wasn't partaking in the jokes of the rest of the council, he had finished making his lunch and had just sat down to eat it, watching the show with concern. Kyoya watched him take out his phone, typing something slowly, then… oh, Kyoya's own phone had pinged. He picked it up from his bedside table, reading the text.

Peasant: hey, are you doing ok?

you can talk to me if you want

I'm always willing to listen if you need it

even if we aren't friends

Kyoya had saved them all on his phone with the same nicknames they had in the group chat, with Nekozawa as an exception obviously. So he instantly realised that the text he'd just saw Arai type was this one he was reading now… or four texts he supposed, one after the other. He was caught off guard by them, the idea of someone he's barely spoken to, caring about him, seeking him out to make sure he's alright, offering to be a willing ear, using a gentle tone with him… it was all entirely new to Kyoya- and he didn't trust it one bit.

Kyoya Ootori: Don't take me for a fool, there is no viable reason for me to trust you.

He watched Arai receive the text, and noticed how he sighed lightly- Kyoya was right! Arai had been planning to dig into Kyoya's secrets! And pry at his weaknesses! Kyoya had won, he had been so smart to not open up to the common boy! He had to congratulate himself on that at least, he had one talent, if nothing else. He sighed slightly at that, realising his conclusion meant that no one on the council was even genuinely nice. So he sat there, eyes just focusing on whoever was speaking at the time, whoever was calling him a slur at any given moment… oh, his door had opened.

He glanced over to the entrance to his room, noticing Yuuichi standing there, looking entirely concerned. His brother glanced at his laptop, his frown deepening, "who just called you that?" Uh oh.

Everyone in the meeting had heard it, and most knew Yuuichi by his voice, and knew to be afraid- even the few that didn't, had enough sense to stay silent. Yuuichi walked over, taking the laptop from Kyoya's bed, looking at the screen. Kyoya silently watched in horror as his brother slowly looked at the members of his council, recognising them one by one- he looked extremely surprised to see… Eclair, Kyoya had to assume. Then Yuuichi's eyes landed on Arai, and he spoke his first words since entering the room, "what the… is that a commoner?" Kyoya nodded when Yuuichi glanced at him, staying completely silent as he processed this fact.

"What kind of strange gathering is happening here?" Yuuichi didn't seem to understand what was going on in the slightest, Kyoya was glad of that. But as Yuuichi sat down on the bed next to Kyoya, the laptop on his lap, the council began to speak.

Eclair spoke first, with a polite but clearly forced chuckle, "bonjour monsieur Ootori, I don't believe we've spoken properly yet?"

"Please," Yuuichi's smile was also faked, "call me Yuuichi."

She nodded, "Yuuichi, I don't believe you need to worry about this little meeting, your baby brother is awfully good at arranging things isn't he?" God, she was hiding her insults in complements now, as if Kyoya couldn't hate this woman anymore then she already did.

Yuuichi's face lit up at that, pulling Kyoya close to him, "oh you're right! He is so good at planning and organising, you should've seen the rigorous routines he used to map out when he was younger, he had a schedule for playtime!" He laughed, not realising how humiliating this would be for Kyoya, "he'll always be my sweet little baby brother, even if he's grown up a lot since then."

Chika let out a snort at that, causing Yuuichi to frown again, "why is there a toddler in this call?" It was incredibly rewarding to watch Chika splutter and explain that he's a middle schooler, as if Yuuichi wasn't fully aware exactly who he was. But the boy's laughter had reminded Yuuichi of what he'd heard, "so, which one of you did I hear call my brother a slur?" There was complete silence on the other end of the line.

Kyoya looked up at Yuuichi, frowning, he gently pinched his brother's arm, not wanting to draw attention to himself but also really wanting Yuuichi to stop it. Yuuichi glanced at him the moment he felt the pinch, smiling softly, he let Kyoya take the laptop from him, though frowned at that. "Alright everyone," Kyoya made sure to keep his voice level, smiling politely to the council, "I apologize for the interruption and I'm afraid we'll have to cut our meeting a little short, please ruminate on what we've discussed today and I hope to speak with you again soon, that will be all," and without letting anyone else get a word in edgeways, he ended the call, slamming his laptop shut and headbutting his brother in the chest fairly hard, just resting their for a moment.

"Kyoya…" Yuuichi had uttered softly, placing a gentle hand on Kyoya's head, playing with his hair, "why did you do that? You know I'd have stood up for you."

"Humiliate me is what you did." Kyoya's words were spat out, quite aggressively, but Kyoya only got so aggressive when he was close to tears, and Yuuichi knew this, and Kyoya knew that he knew, "you always fucking show me up, I don't need you to come to my rescue…"

These words must hurt his brother deeply, Kyoya knew that, but frankly, he didn't care, not right now at least. He had his own feelings, ones that were hurt a hell of a lot more than his silly little words could ever harm his brother, tears filled his eyes, already dangerously close to spilling over. Yuuichi didn't respond, at least not verbally- he gently picked Kyoya up, still swaddled in all those blankets, and he cradled him on his knee, just like he did when Kyoya was a baby…

Kyoya hated to admit it, but this did genuinely make him feel better- he felt so, so stupid for it, but being held by his older brother like that was actually so comforting, and Kyoya wasn't exactly sure why. Yuuichi gently shushed him, even though Kyoya hadn't made any noise, and just began to rock him gently. It wasn't as effective as when Kyoya was tiny, but it was still oddly comforting… like laying on a pool floaty and taking a nap.

After a while, Yuuichi gently put Kyoya down, frowning slightly, "can you tell me why you were talking with those people? I know you've been more social in highschool, but you actively hate some of those people."

Kyoya had sighed, really not wanting to have to admit to anything, so he attempted to lie his way through it. "Well I… it's a mutually beneficial alliance, personal opinions aren't a part of the equation. You of all people should know not to involve emotions in business."

"Kyoya, you're seventeen, you don't have any business to attend to," Yuuichi sighed, before reaching out and ruffling Kyoya's hair, "you should be paying attention to your feelings, you're at the age where you need to be fighting for your happiness." He smiled a little, that friendly, overly soft smile, that Kyoya knew meant he was about to get nosey, "I heard you had a day out yesterday, did you have fun?"

Now, Kyoya usually hated it when his siblings tried to pry into his private life, but Yuuichi was giving him a chance to talk about the wonderful day he'd had yesterday, and Kyoya couldn't help but to smile. "Well myself and Tamaki went to a little commoner-ran store to order custom food platter, because Tamaki wanted to do a theme based on commoner foods, and then-"

"Do you enjoy regular food then?"

"Huh?" Kyoya paused, looking up at Yuuichi in confusion, "what do you mean? We aren't talking about regular food, we're talking about commoner food?"

His brother had laughed at him, and Kyoya didn't quite understand why, "come on Kyoya, you're smarter than that- think about it for like, two seconds." But Kyoya still didn't understand, why would regular food be- oh.

"Oh. Oh dear, it seems I spend too much time around the others." He glances down in shame, having just embarrassed himself in front of his brother like that, he was just glad it was Yuuichi and not Akito- Akito would have just laughed.

Yuuichi, however, only chuckled a little, pulling Kyoya in and ruffling his hair even further, "Nothing wrong with having friends, even if you do pick up strange habits from them. Either way, do you like regular food then?"

Kyoya just hesitantly nodded, remembering yesterday's lunch, and that one time Haruhi bought him a burger. He wasn't sure why Yuuichi had asked him that, what use could that information be to him? His brother had smiled at him, clearly liking that reacting, then he glanced down at the untouched tray of food.

"How about we go grab some fast food for dinner? You don't seem too keen on lunch so we'll go early, how about five?" Kyoya was caught off guard by this- Yuuichi actively wanted to spend time with him? He hadn't just written the note to be nice? He was silent, just staring up at Yuuichi in silence. "What'd you say, Kyo? Wanna hang out with your big bro?"

Kyoya just quietly nodded, not smiling or even speaking, he was just- he didn't even know why Yuuichi wanted to hang out with him, didn't his brother have more important things to do? It seemed that Yuuichi had noticed his confusion, putting a gentle hand on Kyoya's shoulder.

"Kyoya, you're my baby brother and you're clearly going through something right now… Fiyumi told me there are fresh scars, please understand that I care about you, people care about you."

Oh. He'd been told about the scars, of course he had, why else would he be here? Kyoya had genuinely felt hope, that- for just a second, he thought his big brother actually wanted to hang out with him… he felt even worse then he had before. He hated being pitied, more than anything. But he couldn't tell Yuuichi how he felt, he knew his brother would never admit the pity. So he just smiled, nodding, making sure to appear to be the innocent child he knew his brother saw him as. Yuuichi seemed satisfied by this, smiling back and ruffling Kyoya's hair one last time before leaving the room, leaving Kyoya in an uncomfortable silence.

His phone was buzzing, he didn't need to check it to know it was the council, likely mocking him further. He just grabbed his blankets, wrapping them around himself again and flopping down on the bed, face in his pillow for a moment before he sighed and rested the side of his head on the pillow, looking over across the room and out the window. Kyoya hated the silence, he used silence to study, he used silence to cry, he only sat in silence when he was in pain- so he hated it. So he reached over to his phone, planning to just put some quiet music on- but he saw the notification sitting on his lockscreen, and he froze.

Woman: Yes of course, and he needs to hide behind his family all the time, he's barely a person without his name.

They were still talking about him, it hurt more that they were right; he did hide behind his surname too much, but it was all he had. He thought about how Fiyumi had helped him yesterday, how, even today, Yuuichi had come to his defence even without being asked, and had proceeded to promise to spend time with him… even Akito had been calling and texting him lately. It all felt so wrong, it was like he was a toddler again, he felt so babies, so protected. Eclair was right, he didn't exist without them right behind him- he certainly wouldn't be alive… if Fiyumi hadn't helped him with all those scars, even finding him after the first time it happened… he assumed he'd have gotten much worse, much sooner.

When he spent time with his siblings, it often made the bad thought disappear- so was that all he was without them? Was that who Kyoya was? Just an unstable bundle of bad thoughts? His fingers found his scars again, and he slowly traced over them, not daring to look… he was going to spend time with Yuuichi soon, he couldn't do that… but he wanted to, oh he was so tempted. He opened up the group chat, he could hurt himself in easier, less evident ways.

Child: He's a fucking wierdo, all those idiots my brother hangs out with are.

Woman#2: It's like, the only reason anyone even listens to, or pretends to care about him is because of who his father is.

Woman: Oh you don't know the half of it, he literally shows off his father's police force at any chance he gets.

He thinks being powerful is a personality trait.

Woman#2: I don't even know why they let him stay in the club, he doesn't even do any actual hosting.

Sorcerer: It's because Souh-san can't do maths.

Child: Lmao the guy he loves is using him, fucking ironic

Peasant: i think its sad��

Woman: Sad? It's fucking pathetic is what it is.

Kyoya promptly closed the group chat, feeling tears biting his eyes. He really, truly, desperately wanted to text Tamaki- to just ask if that was true. He knew it wasn't, he knew it, made no sense for it to be true… but that didn't stop it from hurting. His phone buzzed again, and Kyoya reacted with rage, tossing the thing across his bedroom, and curling up into a ball. Sure, he hated himself, and reason didn't really come into the equation at this point- but logic was Kyoya's best… and only quality, so he had to reason that bothering Tamaki, or anyone for that matter, would only serve to make himself look stupid, or crazy, or something to that degree.

He was still sitting in silence, and he didn't really want to get up in order to grab his phone. He wished he had one of those smart home things like the twins had, but his father considered them spyware- even if the house was already covered in cameras and microphones. Kyoya just lay there, maybe it wouldn't be silent if he was crying, but he couldn't cry… at least not like normal people. He was always silent in his sadness, tears running down his cheeks, he hated crying… it just reminded him how he wasn't normal, how he was broken- unemotional. He used to be proud of his silence when he was younger, he wasn't loud nor a bother like other children, he didn't scream or throw tantrums, he just sat quietly, getting on with his studies.

He had trained himself to be silent, thinking he'd be loved more, if he was quieter, more productive. Now that was all he was worth, it seemed he'd dug his own grave… he wasn't sure if he wanted to lay in it- death sounded wonderful, but he was terrified of leaving the people he cares about. He just lay there, he lay there… he stayed there for hours, just quietly crying- but then he got too tired to cry, and he felt quite thirsty, but he didn't want to move, so he lay there uncomfortably, staring into the middle distance.

[oliviastan17]

Just a dream (4/7)

Warnings: 18+, fluff, shit ton of angst (it’s no fun when everything goes smoothly), smut, language, 

Length: 3.4k

A/N: This starts off when you get back from being in New York with Seb in Part 3. Two dreams combined into one story because I’m not mean and didn’t want to leave you with a cliff hanger. You’re welcome. DO NOT POST ON ANY OTHER WEBSITE! Feel free to reblog.

“Hey!” Chris said as you walked into the office building of the company producing his next project.

“Woah, what happened to you?” he asked after taking in your appearance. You were wearing black leggings with a baggy sweatshirt and running shoes. Your hair was up in a pony tail on top of your head and there were bags under your eyes.

“Long night. Can we make this quick?” you asked as you rubbed your temple with your hand.

He nodded looking concerned. He walked you down the hall and into a room with large rectangle table and 15 or so people looking through piles of paper.

Production meetings are the worst. This was the one thing you hated about your job. Why can’t you just be given a script so you can start ordering and searching for props? If you have questions, you’ll call and ask. Instead you are going to be stuck in this room with these people for hours going on almost no sleep.

You start mindlessly reading through the script as you drown out the voices in the room. After making small notations in the script whenever you did hear anything of value, which was few and far between, you checked the time and quietly cursed to yourself. It’s only been 30 minutes. Shit.

“Y/n?” Chris’s voice broke you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah, I…uh…I should have everything ready in about 2 weeks,” you offered. You had no idea what the question was but everyone seemed pleased with your answer so that was lucky.

Two hours later and you were finally free. You snuck out while Chris was busy talking with the director. All you wanted to do was just go home.

When you walked into your house you dropped your bag and binder with the script down on the floor, kicked your shoes off and shuffled into your bedroom. You crawled into bed so grateful you were able to finally close your eyes.

Your doorbell rings 10 minutes later. Who the fuck is at my door? I’m not answering. Whatever it is it can wait.

A minute goes by and the bell rings again. Nope. I’m not home.

Then you heard the loud knocking that didn’t seem like it would go away on its own so you begrudgingly got up to answer it.

Before you even got to the door you heard Chris say “Come on Y/n. I know you’re in there.”

“Why are you always trying to ruin my life?” were the first words he heard when you opened the door. You tilted your head back and turned around walking over to your couch.

“Um…hi?” Chris responded as he closed your front door. “What did I do now?”

“I came home 2 weeks ago from New York so I could come here and work on your movie and then you kept pushing the meeting back a couple of days. And then another couple of days. And then another couple of days!”

“It wasn’t my fault Y/n! I tried…”

“Oh I’m not done!” you interrupted him. “Then you post some pictures of when we went out to dinner with Morgan and now Seb is acting like a complete moron. Has been for 2 days.”

“What’s his problem?”

“Our problem…” you corrected, “is this long distance thing. It’s been 2 weeks and we’re falling apart.” You collapsed on your couch and leaned your head back.

“I’m gonna need the whole story,” he said as he sat down with you resting his arm on the back of the couch and facing you. So you told him. You had talked to Sebastian 3 nights ago telling him that you just got back from dinner with Chris, Morgan and a few other friends. The next day he had happened upon Chris’s pictures. One where your friend Morgan had his arm around you. Sebastian somehow thought since you didn’t mention that Morgan was a man that you were being a little shady.

“Oh I see where this is going.”

“Yeah, so when he asked how I knew Morgan I said we dated for in high school but that we stayed in touch and he helped get me my first job because his dad is a set designer. Blah, blah, blah. God, should I have left out the dating part? It’s been 10 fucking years! I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“Don’t tell him I said this but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

“I don’t know. I thought he was overreacting so I said if I was going to cheat I would be smart enough to make damn sure you didn’t take any pictures. He didn’t appreciate that answer. And he wasn’t listening to anything I said so I hung up on him. It’s just been angry texts and one long ass phone call all last night.”

“Man Y/n. I’m sorry. How did you leave things?”

“I said I had to go to work and I would call him later.”

“So what are you going to say?”

“I’m honestly too tired to even think about it right now.”

“You really do look like shit.”

 “Thanks so much. I’ve been awake for over 24 hours. What’s your excuse?”

“Alright, I’m going. I just wanted to check on you. Let me know if you need anything.”

______

 After he left you finally collapse in your bed and get some much needed sleep. You wake up at 6pm, take a shower and make some dinner. You call Sebastian but it goes straight to voicemail. That’s not reassuring. You turn the tv on for some background noise and start to go through the script making a list of items you need to order, find, or somehow build.  An hour and a half goes by and then there’s a knock at your door. You look through the peephole to see Sebastian is at your door.

“Hey,” you said when you opened the door. He pulls you in for a hug. “I called you.”

“I was on the plane.” You pulled away and he kisses you. “I needed to see you. We need to talk.”

You gestured for him to come in and you both sat on the couch.

“Listen, I overreacted and I know that. I’m sorry. I went a little crazy at the thought of being without you. It’s just…I let my mind wander and all these negative thoughts came in and I couldn’t stop them fast enough. Then you hung up and I…I just…I love you and I had temporary insanity or something. I’m so sorry. But I need to know if you meant what you said.”

“Meant what?”

“That you couldn’t handle doing long distance for a while.”

“Oh…I mean I guess it kind of depends on your definition of a while.”

He was picking at his fingernails and looked down when he replied, “3 months?”

“You got the part.”

“Yeah.” He took a deep breath before meeting your eyes.

You scooted over to be sitting closer to him and grabbed his face as you said, “I’m really happy for you.” 

You leaned in to kiss his lips so he’d know you meant it. He had been talking about this story he fell in love with since you first got together. But you also knew the filming was in Paris. It would be an intense shoot. He could probably only make it back to you 2-3 times a month if that. One day off wasn’t enough time to fly here and back.

He didn’t say anything. He just searched your eyes looking for your answer.

“Well, we didn’t handle being apart for 2 weeks very well, did we?”

He dropped his head and nodded slowly.

“So maybe we can learn from our mistakes,” you offered. “I’m sorry too. I could have handled things better.”

He felt relief at your answer.

“When do you have to be there?”

“My flight back to New York leaves in 2 days. I have a day to pack and then I leave for Paris.”

“Okay, we have 2 days to figure our shit out,” you said as you stood up, grabbed his hand and led him into your bedroom where you spent hours trying to make up for the time you were about to spend apart.

 ______

That time had come. You were taking him to the airport. You weren’t sure when you would see him again.  He would let you know the schedule when he figured out what it was. So this was goodbye for right now.

Standing on the curb you had your arms over his shoulders and around his neck while you stood on your tip toes. You were trying to commit to memory how it felt to have his stubble against your cheek. As you loosened your grip you let out an unsteady breath. He took your face in his hands and kissed you as you brought your hands up around his wrists to keep them there.

“Love you,” you said barely breaking the kiss.

“I love you. We can do this,” he said doing the same.

When the kiss ended for real you looked up into his furiously gorgeous eyes and nodded. “We can do this,” you agreed.

Several kisses later he finally had to force himself to step away.

“Call me when you land.”

“I will,” he said as he kissed your cheek, turned and walked into the airport. You watched him walk away until you couldn’t see him anymore and then you turned around, got in your car and let the tears fall.

 ______

Things were good for the first 2 visits. He flew home once for a grand total of 18 hours. You flew out there once for 36 hours. It was better than nothing right?

Then there was the 6 hour time difference. Calls went missed due to work or need to sleep.

Then the assistant you hired to help with Chris’s movie stopped showing up. You hired another one but truth be told she wasn’t all that bright. You were single handedly doing the work of 2 people. You were doing your best to not let Chris down. He had vouched for you so you felt like you owed him something. You saw that you could have 3 days off (thanks to finally hiring an assistant you trusted to fill in for you for one day) and so you booked the first flight out.

Then the jet lag hit. And it hit hard.

You weren’t getting a lot of sleep at home because you were so busy. Flying out there meant losing 6 hours and you underestimated how exhausted you actually were. Jet lag always made Sebastian loopy, almost drunk. It made you mean.

“It’s like you’re not even trying!” His voice was raised in frustration.

“What do you mean I’m not trying? I’m here aren’t I?”

“And you started picking fights as soon as you got here!”

“That’s not true. You’re just mad because I don’t want to go out with your friends.”

“No, I said it was an option. God forbid they want to meet the ‘wonderful woman’ I’ve been talking about. Do you know when she’s going to make an appearance?”

Twenty four hours later you both reached your limit.

“We said we would do this until it stopped working. It’s not working anymore Seb.”

He didn’t say anything. He just stared at you for a minute. He didn’t agree, but he didn’t ask you to stay either. So you left.

That was 2 months ago. Chris had told you that Sebastian was back in New York as of a week ago. He gently suggested you call him to which you replied, “Stay the fuck out of it Chris.” You were serious and he could tell by the look of your face.

You had finished working with Chris and the wrap party was the next day. You were obviously going to go but you couldn’t bring yourself to ask him if he invited Sebastian or not. You’d be a nervous wreck if you knew he was coming and disappointed if you found out he wasn’t. It might as well be a surprise.

You were meeting your Mom for dinner and she could tell something was bothering you.

“There may be a possibility that I might see Seb tomorrow night,” you awkwardly said.

“You might?”

“Chris might have invited him to the wrap party. I feel like it’s best if I don’t know until I get there.”

“Honey you never told me exactly what happened with you two.”

“I don’t know…we…we lived in 2 different states. The distance thing wasn’t working.”

“So he couldn’t live here because…”

“Most of his work, auditions, interviews or whatever were in New York. That’s where he has the best opportunity to work. I wasn’t going to ask him to give that up.”

“And you couldn’t move to New York because…”

“Because your dumbass son can’t take care of his kids without me!”

“What?”

“He calls me at least 3 times a week asking for help. The kids stay with me at least once a week. He’s been completely lost since Jen left.”

She had a shocked look on her face.

“I had no idea he was that bad. Why doesn’t he call me?”

“He always makes some excuse that you live too far away.”

“Oh please! Fourty five minutes is not that far! Was that the only thing keeping you from moving?”

“Basically yes. It is the main reason. I know I could find work in New York so yeah.”

“Honey, when are you going to realize that you deserve to be happy? You need to start living your life for you, not for what other people want you for.”

You took a minute to think about what she just said.

“Holy shit,” you exclaimed. “Why the hell couldn’t you tell me that months ago?”

“Well I didn’t think it was something you needed to be told! Looks like I may have 2 dumbass kids!”

“Oh my god.”

“You let me deal with your brother. Just figure out what you want.”

 ___________

The next day you did your best to keep busy. You even cleaned your house which is way out of character because someone comes once a week to do that for you. You only clean when something is wrong.

You got ready for the party and tried to take deep breaths to calm your anxiety on the drive there. You spent two hours at the party not because it was fun but because you were hoping Sebastian would come. Your anxiety started getting the best of you though so you decided you just needed to leave. He probably wasn’t coming anyway.

Once you got home you searched for your vaping pen for 30 minutes. You had gotten a medical marijuana card a while ago to see if it helped with migraines. It didn’t but you thought maybe it would help your anxiety. You couldn’t find it so you settled for a cigarette and sat outside on a bench near your front door lost in your thoughts. You watched as a car pulled up in your driveway and then Sebastian stepped out. You were relieved and terrified at the same time.

 “That’s a bad habit,” he said walking up your walkway.

“I’m aware,” you said as you offered it to him. He sat down next to you and took a drag.

“I saw your car leaving as I was walking in.”

“Oh. You didn’t stay long.”

He shook his head and shrugged.

“Uh…how was Paris?” you asked awkwardly.

“Uh, it was good. Glad to be home though, you know?”

“You want to come in?”

He nodded and you walked in your house. You grabbed a couple of waters out of your fridge and brought one to him.

“Seb, I’m…”

“I shouldn’t have let you leave Y/n.”

His words shocked you. You had shown him and side of yourself that was normally hidden and not attractive. You wouldn’t have blamed him for wanting you to leave.

“No, it was my fault. I shouldn’t have been such a bitch. I’m so sorry I fucked everything up.”

“Not you. We fucked everything up,” he said looking at the ground.

“I guess it’s too late for me to decide I want to move to New York isn’t it.”

His head shot up. He didn’t expect those words to ever come out of your mouth. He knew how much you helped with your niece and nephew. Without thinking he closed the distance between you in two steps, brought his hand up to the back of your neck and kissed you. It wasn’t a soft kiss. It was kiss he had been wanting for 2 months. He was hungry for it and so were you.

As he came up for air he asked, “What changed?”

“My mom helped me realize some things. I’m so sorry it took me so long.”

“Remind me to buy her a car or something.”

It was so good to feel his beard on your skin again. It was a little longer than what he normally wears but you didn’t mind. You both stumbled your way into your bedroom. Between him taking your shirt off as he was kicking off his shoes while your hands were undoing his belt you almost fell. He caught you and walked you forward until your back was against the wall. As he buried his face in your neck he smelt your perfume. He had missed it so much. He could smell it on his sheets for a week after you left.

His hands trailed down the sides of your body until he had picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist. With his lips never leaving yours he shuffled over to the bed and fell on top of you. He stepped out of his jeans as he was undoing yours and slid yours off.  It felt so amazing to have you lying naked under him again. He missed your hands on his body but he missed touching you even more.

You knew he liked to be in control and would rather give pleasure than receive so you let him. He brought his hand between your legs checking to see how ready you were. You were more than ready and he decided not to tease you so he slipped two fingers inside you and started making a ‘come here’ motion. You broke the kiss to take in a deep breath as your neck arched your head back. He brought his lips to your ear and told you he loved you.

“Oh shit,” you moaned as you took his face in your hands and brought his lips to yours. He massaged your tongue with his in a deep kiss while his hand continued to do magical things to your body. Without removing his fingers he kissed his way down your body until he was gently sucking on your clit.

“Oh god, Seb” you cried as your back arched and you came. He was used to hearing you pant and moan to let him know you liked what he was doing but tonight was just a series of expletives you cried out when he did something you liked. Hearing you made him need to be in you right now.

He started to slowly move in and out of you knowing you were probably still sensitive from his previous act. Your bodies were made for each other. You fit together so perfectly. You held on to him so tightly because you needed to make sure this was real. You needed to make sure you weren’t dreaming.

You were both breathing hard as he was thrusting himself deep in you. He grabbed your leg and brought it up so that the back of your knee was over his shoulder which put him at the perfect angle to hit every spot he needed to. As he sped up he felt you tighten around him as your back arched again and the sound you made had him coming right after you.

He brought his face to yours and kissed you so sweetly you wished it would never end. When it did and he slid out of you he collapsed on the bed next to you. You rolled on your side to face him as he turned his head to smile at you.

“I can’t lose you again,” he spoke softly.

“I’m afraid I’m going to wake up any time now,” you said as your hand graced his beard.

“I’m here. And I’m not leaving. I love you.”

“Love you back,” you smiled.

Next Chapter

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[caffineaddictedmoron]

The Ending We Deserve Pt.2

So many things happened at once.

Marinette ran toward Hawkmoth.

Hawkmoth drew his weapon.

Chat took the opening Marinette provided him, and launched himself at Hawkmoth.

Hawkmoth easily sidestepped Marinette’s attack and slashed his sword, but not at Marinette. 

No, he completely ignored Marinette and anticipated the attack from behind, dealing Chat Noir a deep cut that went from his left shoulder to his stomach. 

“NO!” Marinette screamed, running back toward her fallen partner. She dropped to her knees, assessing the damage. The cut was deep, way too deep for him to survive unless he got immediate medical attention or the miraculous ladybugs cured him. And one of those options wouldn’t work because Tikki was too weak, and the other wouldn’t work because she was too weak to carry him, AND Hawkmoth would strike her down before she made it two steps. 

But none of that stopped her from pressing her hands to the wound, trying to slow the bleeding. 

Chat was sputtering and gasping for air. “No, no, no.” His eyes were fluttering, open and shut, like he was struggling to stay awake. “Chat, you have to stay with me! Please don’t leave.”

Chat weakly moved his hand and placed it over Marinette’s. “Take him out, Mari.” he whispered as he took in a deep shuddering breath, “Do whatever needs to be done.”

“No, Chat.” Tears were running down her face in rivers. “I’m not doing this without you.”

“You have to, Milady.” He looked into her eyes. “I believe in you.” He pressed a chaste kiss to the back of her hand. Chat placed his hand on her cheek and met her eyes. “Do whatever needs to be done,” he repeated, before taking another deep breath. “I’m sorry, Marinette.” Another breath. 

He took a long, sorrowful look at his ring, hoping that his lady caught on to what he was thinking. “Plagg, claws out.”

“NO!” Marinette screamed. She knew without the magic of the miraculous that his wounds would be fatal. Plagg was the only thing that was keeping him alive, and he gave him up. She squeezed his hand, drawing his attention back to her. “Why? Why would you do that?”

He gave her a small smile. “You’re Ladybug. Figure it out.” He closed his eyes and whispered one last time. “I believe in you.”

“Chat?” She shook his shoulders. 

No response. 

“Adrien!” She shook him again, “C’mon! You have to help me! I can’t do this without you I can’t. I can’t.” She sobbed on his still chest. 

She turned towards Hawkmoth, tears running down her face. “You monster!” She sneered, “How could you do this to your own son? He loved you! No matter what crap you put him through, he loved you! Even when you forbid him from going out with friends or when you would schedule photoshoots everyday, he would still try to be his best. And he did it for you! God knows he could’ve slacked off and quit, but he tried his best to make sure you were proud of him. And this-” she gestured at Adrien, “is how you repay him. He was nothing but an amazing son for you and you ki-” she choked on the word. “You killed him.”

She looked at Adrien’s limp body, at their intertwined hands. She thought of the time they wouldn’t have with each other. The days that are lost. She could imagine it now, the life she would have with him.

Adrien would ask her to be his girlfriend and those would be the happiest years of her life. They would both go to the same college in Paris, she would pursue her career in fashion and he would work to get a teaching degree, all while still fighting crime as Ladybug and Chat Noir. Right after graduation, he would drop on one knee and propose. While planning their wedding, Mari accepted an internship for the Elite Model Management Co. designing clothes, while Adrien applied to teach 3rd grade at the local elementary school. The happy couple would decide to get married in August. It would be the most perfect day, when she walked down the aisle, Adrien burst into tears. He was blubbering so much he could barely say his vows. The newlyweds decided they could go on a honeymoon because they knew their team could handle them being gone for a few days. They went to New York and saw the skyscrapers, Broadway shows, and baseball games. (Apparently, the Americans really loved baseball.) Soon after their honeymoon, they would adopt a hamster. They would live just a few blocks from her parents, so when they eventually had kids (3 adorable children: Emma, Louis, and Hugo.) her parents could come visit them whenever and vise versa. They would be a family. They would be happy. 

And now, that won’t happen. 

Hawkmoth had destroyed every possibility for that to happen.

Marinette looked back down at the boy who she loved, at her hand which was still grasping his, even though he no longer squeezed back. His ring had a glare shining off of it. She closed her eyes unable to look at it from the light and the memories that surrounded it. 

Wait. 

Her eyes flung open. 

His ring would still work. Plagg was still somewhere around here. A plan started formulating in her head. She looked back down at her kitty. I hope you knew what you were doing, she thought. 

She slid the ring off of Adrien’s hand and onto her own slim finger as she stood. “I am going to make you pay for what you did to him,” She growled. “I will tear down your empire, brick by brick. I will destroy everything you have ever stood for.” Hawkmoth backed up slowly, showing the slightest sign of fear in his eyes. 

“Plagg,” Marinette whispered, “Claws out!”

The transformation overtook her as she charged toward Hawkmoth. She stumbled at first, but the magic of the miraculous helped contain the pain in her leg. Lord knows she would need all the extra strength available to defeat this villian.

It was a strenuous fight. Whenever Ladynoir would land a punch, Hawkmoth would land two. For every strike she would dodge, he would pull a sneakier move. While she would land a good hit every once and awhile, she knew she would not win this fight hand-to-hand. Even with the suit dulling her injuries, Marinette’s energy was fading fast. 

Soon, she found herself backed up against the Eiffel Tower, in a similar position Chat was in not even thirty minutes ago. She was running out of ideas. She was running out of hope. But most importantly, she was running out of time. 

“Well, well, well,” Hawkmoth gave her the cliche slow-villain-clap. “How the tables have turned, huh? Today is the day that I will finally have my victory. I will finally have my life, my family back.”

“Your family?” Ladynoir scoffed, “YOU JUST KILLED ADRIEN! You will never have your family back! The wish only allows ONE wish. You can’t bring both back.”

Hawkmoth laughed. “Ladybug, er, Ladynoir, whatever ridiculous name you want to call yourself, it doesn’t matter.” The villain tapped his cane on the ground, in a chiding manner. “Do you really think I wouldn’t have a contingency plan in place? I knew it was likely that he wouldn’t make it out of this duel alive. Why do you think I haven’t taken your kwami from her hiding spot? Shut your mouth and don’t look so shocked. I spotted her while you were busy mourning over my son.” He clicked his tongue. “Not to worry though. He will be alright soon enough. Once you use the Miraculous Ladybug’s he will be healed. But I want you to be the one who gets the kwami. I just feel like then your surrender would be complete. Then, after you heal my son, you will of course hand your miraculous over to me.” He slammed a hand into the Eiffel Tower, just to the left of Marinette’s head. “I will finally get what I deserve. And after I get them back, I will reveal your identity and take  your miraculous to make sure you can never try to take away what I have rightfully earned. I will ruin your chances at ever making a career in fashion. I will leave horrible reviews at your family bakery. I will make it so you never have a chance with Adrien. I will make your life a living hell, just as mine has been since I lost my Emilie. You will feel my every pain and heartbreak. You will wish you never crossed me, Marinette Dupian-

Cheng.” 

Marinette smiled, channelling every bit of Chat Noir she could muster. “That was quite the speech. Did you write that beforehand? Practice in the mirror a bit?” When Hawkmoth didn’t respond, she just shrugged. “Well, at least you were right about one thing.” She looked at the man who killed her partner and first love, who manipulated hundreds of citizens, who never truly cared about Adrien, right in the eye. “You will get what you deserve.” 

Hawkmoth didn’t register what she meant until she already whispered the only word that could defeat him now. “Cataclysm!”

As much as she would have liked to, she didn’t go for the kill. Her hand shot straight for the butterfly brooch that was pinned to his chest. It was the only way for her to truly end the horrors he had wrought upon her city for years. When her fingertips brushed the miraculous, it immediately turned black and started to crumble. 

Hawkmoth recoiled in horror. “No, no, NO! What have you done!” He tried grabbing at the ashes of the broken miraculous to no avail. His transformation let go; Gabriel Agreste sat there, hugging his knees, cursing Ladybug and everything she stood for. 

“Plagg, claws in.” Marinette dropped to her knees, exhaustion hitting her like a train.

 Marinette called for the police. They came quickly and arrested Gabriel, or did they? It was a blur for Marinette. She couldn’t remember how much time had passed. All she could think about was the loss of her partner. She couldn’t just believe he was gone. She wouldn’t accept it. An idea hit her like a train. She already had the black cat miraculous, if she could just find Tikki and complete the merge— No. She shut down that thought before it went any further. That would make her just as bad as Hawkmoth, worse even. 

But, Hawkmoth did mention something about the ladybug miraculous healing Adrien. She didn’t know if it would truly work, but it was worth a shot.

She ran to where Adrien’s body was laying placed a quick kiss on his forehead and the ring back on his finger. “I hope this works.” 

And she took off to find her missing kwami.

[rainandhotchocolate]

About Last Night - P2

A/N So i know I have a million other requests but I’m a sucker for this story sooooo here’s part 2222 lel enjoy!!

Mon 12:00pm

Sirius ~ So before I read the weekend news, should I be worried about seeing any murders I was supposed to be involved in? ~

Y/N ~ Don’t worry I planted your fingertips everywhere so they’ll know you were involved as well ~

Sirius ~ Oh thank god, I needed something to destroy my reputation ~

Y/N ~ And what reputation is that? ~

Sirius ~ Oh you know, cool edgy creative writing major with a soft side ™ ~

Y/N ~ Dear god you’re one of them :O ~

Sirius ~ Ur DiffEReNT thAN OthER giRlS ~

Y/N ~ **Blocked**

Sirius ~ I sincerely hope you know I was joking ~

Y/N ~ I guess I’ll have to find out :P What are you up to today? ~

Sirius ~ Well apart from giving my alibi to police, I have about 3 hours of classes today and an essay due ~

Y/N ~ Wow, that sounds like a super fun day – any good classes? ~

Sirius ~ Yeah I’m enjoying my lit class at the moment, we are doing genre fiction at the moment so looking into how writers create worlds, even within our own world, and why genre fiction is so looked down upon in literature society ~

~ and now that I’ve typed that out I am realising that it probably doesn’t sound wildly interesting ~

Y/N ~ Hahaha nah it does! That would be cool to learn about, I’m a sucker for genre fiction tbh, could never read the classics ~

Sirius ~ That just means you never found a good classic 😉 – What kinda stuff do you read? ~

Y/N ~ look I want no judgement here… I honestly mostly read fantasy/ sci-fi ~

Sirius ~ Have you read Dune?? ~

Y/N ~ Yes !!! Holy shit such a good series !! ~

Sirius ~ I’ve been trying to get my mates to read it for a LIFETIME its so good ~

Y/N ~ I would have thought Remus would have read them? He’s always got a new book with him ~

Sirius ~ I didn’t know you knew Remus as well? But yeah, he in theory would but he also has a long list of to reads and wants to go through them one after another ~

Y/N ~ Yeah, he studies with Lily a lot and I sometimes join them 😊. Also jesus that’s commitment, I’m usually picking up another book whilst I’m halfway through another ~

Sirius ~ I have no idea how he does it, if I’m being honest, if I hate a book I just don’t finish it (please don’t tell my literary friends I told you that, I would be killed in my sleep) ~

Y/N ~ Haha your secret is safe with me – imo I reckon that’s the best way to read, like why force yourself through something just because it’s a classic or whatever, I feel like that’s why so many people don’t read a lot you know? ~

Sirius ~ Completely! I actually just realised I have no idea what you study? ~

Y/N ~ Ahh that’s because I’ve been avoiding the question ~

Sirius ~ It can’t be worse than creative writing – I won’t even get a job after uni ~

Y/N ~ Oh believe me, it is. I study communications ~

Sirius ~ Oh dear lord you are every white girl who ever existed ~

Y/N ~ I know, I’m perpetuating the stereotype its very disappointing tbh ~

Sirius ~ So is that where you work then? ~

Y/N ~ Wow you remember a lot haha yeah, I’m doing an internship in social media management, it’s surprisingly soul-sucking ~

Sirius ~ Is that surprising… 😉 ~

Y/N ~ I mean, that was thinly veiled sarcasm haha but it’s actually not all bad, the strategy behind content etc is actually pretty interesting, and I’m working for an eco-friendly company so at least I get to come up with cool environmental memes ~

Sirius ~ Ahh yes, hit the youth with the memes ~

Y/N ~ See, you’re learning the comms ways already ~

 Thurs 11:28pm

Y/N ~ Whats ya facebook? ~

Sirius ~ Uhhh… Sirius Black? It’s not wildly hard to find, why? ~

Y/N ~ I’m gonna be real, I would like to stalk you ~

Sirius ~ Is this Y/N? ~

Y/N ~ :O ok you’ve known Y/N like 2 days how did you guess that ~

Sirius ~ Cause this message felt like one of those old school msn ‘my friend hacked me !!!’ ~

Y/N ~ You’re a smart boi, Black ~

Sirius ~ thank you kindly stranger ~

 Fri 6:45 am

Y/N ~ I AM SO SORRY ~

~ MARLENE STOLE MY PHONE ~

~ I PROMISE I’M NOT A STALKER ~

Sirius ~ Why on earth are you awake right now ~

Y/N ~ Because my body never allows me to sleep in ~

Sirius ~ how rude, also don’t worry I accepted your Facebook request so you can stalk all you want 😉 ~

Y/N ~ Literally am going to stab Marlene ~

Sirius ~ At least she’s up front ~

Y/N ~ Wait why are you awake rn? ~

Sirius ~ James wants to make the firsts soccer team at uni and has decided I must train with him ~

Y/N ~ Well that’s gross ~

Sirius ~ Couldn’t have said that better myself ~

Y/N ~ so what does this training consist of ~

Sirius ~ Mainly James trying to shoot balls at my head as I attempt to goal keep ~

Y/N ~ Can’t see that ending well ~

Sirius ~ Excuse you, I happen to be VERY athletic. I am a multisided human being thanks ~

Y/N ~ I am so sorry to have placed my predisposed ideas on you ☹ pls forgive ~

Sirius ~ I will have to think about it – right now James wanted me to do suicides and I must go into hiding ~

Y/N ~ Godspeed ~

Sun 2:58pm

Y/N ~ Ok I know I promised not to stalk, but what the fuck is going on in this picture ~

~ file ~

Sirius ~ oh no no no no no no no no ~

Y/N ~ ehheheheheheheheh ~

Sirius ~ I really thought my privacy settings were better than this ~

Y/N ~ Yeah this was very easy to find ~

Sirius ~ I’m going to kill James ~

Y/N ~ You can’t blame james for this beauty ~

Sirius ~ Oh I really can, he decided it would be hilarious for us to have a photoshoot when I was completely trashed one night. And then proceeded to post everything and tag me ~

Y/N ~ James sounds like a fun night out ~

Sirius ~ I wouldn’t say that to lily ~

Y/N ~ What she doesn’t know won’t kill her 😉 ~

Sirius ~ You are slyer than I thought ~

Y/N ~ I think I’m going to frame this photo and place it all over your uni ~

Sirius ~ You wouldn’t ~

Y/N ~ You may need to convince me otherwise ~

Sirius ~ Anything to avoid that embarrassment in my life ~

Y/N ~ Perhaps you’ll just have to owe me for sparing you ~

Sirius ~ I think that’s a fair deal – what about a coffee? ~

Y/N ~ I think a coffee or two would be a fair trade off :P ~

Sirius ~ Well I have the most disgusting week of midterms but perhaps on the weekend? ~

Y/N ~ Sounds LIT ~

Sirius ~ You’ve just made me regret inviting you anywhere ~

Y/N ~ That’s what I’m here for 😉 ~

 Wed 3:07pm

Sirius ~ Bit of a creepy question, but did I see you at uni today? Navy Skirt, Black Jumper, & tights?

Y/N ~ Wow you really observe an outfit don’t you ~

Sirius ~ I mean I noticed the outfit cause I thought it looked good and then I realised it was you and so it stuck in my head ~

~ in a less creepy way ~

~ in fact let me just completely start over – were you at uni today? I think I saw you! ~

Y/N ~ Maybe, what was I wearing? ~

Sirius ~ I hate you ~

Y/N ~ 😉 Well to answer your question, yes I was at uni – it was Lily and I’s weekly cheap lunch date ~

Sirius ~ Classy ladies you two are ~

Y/N ~ Couldn’t describe us better myself ~

Sirius ~ Oh by the way, are you going to Remus’ party this Friday? ~

Y/N ~ Mmmm I was thinking about it, why? ~

Sirius ~ No reason, I just knew Lily was invited and he mentioned inviting some of her friends ~

Y/N ~ Mmmm, yeah he told Lily to bring Marlene and me along, unsure though as Lily is particularly annoyed at James this week and he will of course be there and be annoying ~

Sirius ~ What if I can promise he won’t annoy her? ~

Y/N ~ I really don’t think you should make a promise you can’t keep :P ~

Sirius ~ Ah, you underestimate me! James has to go home this weekend to see his parents so he won’t actually be there ~

Y/N ~ This is a very interesting development – we may reconsider ~

Sirius ~ Well Remus does throw a great party ~

Y/N ~ DO you actually know what James did anyway? She usually likes to rant about it but she’s been shut in her room the past 2 days ~

Sirius ~ Honestly I’m not sure, James has been unprecedently quiet as well ~

Y/N ~ Hmmm how odd ~

Sirius ~ Indeed it is ~

 Friday 4:42pm

Y/N ~ What are you guys wearing tonight? ~

Marlene ~ Not sure, I’m torn between a velour tracksuit or the classic Canadian tuxedo ~

Lily ~ Both very classy options ~

Marlene ~ You know me, go hard or go hard ~

Y/N ~ You’re both incredibly unhelpful ~

Marlene ~ Worried about meeting a certain dark haired texter? ~

Y/N ~ Am I not allowed to want my best friends’ help on my outfits?? ~

Marlene ~ I mean I can’t help you look hot if I don’t know who its for 😉 ~

Lily ~ God forbid she looks hot for herself ~

Marlene ~ Hey, you’ve gotta play to your audience ~

Y/N ~ How would you even know what he likes ~

Lily ~ She stalked him around campus yesterday ~

Y/N ~ um MARLENE ~

Marlene ~ I just wanted to know his style, habits, if he was a psycho killer ~

Lily ~ She has a point, if he’s as annoying as James we have to protect you at all costs ~

Marlene ~ We need to make sure she isn’t sucked in by his serial killer prowess ~

Y/N ~ You’re making me sound like prey ~

Marlene ~ 😉 ~

Y/N ~ How did you even stalk him, Lily has no classes with him ~

Marlene ~ I have my ways ~

Lily ~ She flirted with the office assistant until she gave her Sirius’ schedule ~

Y/N ~ You minx ~

Marlene ~ No one can resist my charms ~

Lily ~ That is yet to be determined actually ~

Y/N ~ very true Lils, we’ve never met anyone you’ve dated yet ~

Marlene ~ Sooooo not the point, and we’ve gone off topic! How are you going to wow Mr Black ~

Y/N ~ That is 100% not what I asked ~

Lily ~ you may as well have ~

Y/N ~ You both suck ~

Lily ~ Wear that flowy black dress you refuse to ever wear!! ~

Marlene ~ YES YOU LOOK BANGING IN THAT ~

Y/N ~ ugh but it’s a casual party ~

Marlene ~ Who gives a shit, stand out ~

Lily ~ He’ll be drooling ~

Y/N ~ I don’t need him to drool I just want to make a good first impression ~

Marlene ~ Aha the truth finally comes out ~

Y/N ~ if you were actually in your dorm I’d be hitting the roof with a broomstick rn ~

Lily ~ Where are you?? ~

Marlene ~ Where do you think 😉 ~

Lily ~ Not the office assistant ~

Marlene ~ 😉 ~

Lily ~ How!? I was with you the whole time, you never exchanged numbers ~

Marlene ~ Exchanging numbers doesn’t have to be an oral task… unlike other things 😉 ~

Y/N ~ We get it, your sexual prowess is above all of us ~

Lily ~ I’m honestly impressed, she was cute ~

Marlene ~ I’m offended you’d be impressed tbh ~

Y/N ~ Ok so you are both coming over to my house in an hour to dress and intoxicate me ~

Lily ~ Deal ~

Marlene ~ Maybe give me an extra 30 mins 😊 ~

Taglist:  @averytruerayofsunshine @siriuslyjanhvi @blushingskywalker @blackpinkdolan @thebabblingbookworm @cherrie511 @imlukesnirvana @avengersassemblee @maraudersandco @sly-vixen-up2nogood @katbernoulli @sirius-lysad @evyiione @minerva26love @aikeia @gollyderek @greatwombatblaze  @songforhema  @your-typical-giggle

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 49: Atrévete a soñar

Harry hadn’t anticipated that his girlfriend pregnancy would be hard for him as well. He didn’t want to use this card as he knew that a million thoughts were crossing Carol’s mind, and she might or might not have had the time to go over them and come to terms herself of this big life changing moment of their lives due to her completely packed work schedule... and she was the one growing a tiny human from scratch. It was her body handling all the changes that came with it.

He had made a promise that he’d do everything he possibly could to make everything as comfortable as possible for her. She wouldn’t be in need of anything on his watch; he made sure to keep her refrigerator full of healthy food and lots of snacks that she could pack and take to the office with her – sometimes going to the store himself -, he had asked one of his drivers to be alert to any calls or texts from Carol, as he was now on duty to use Harry’s private car to take her to and from work. She was getting nauseous when using the tube and he promptly suggested this new arrangement – which surprisingly, she had accepted without a fight.

He also made sure he was present on her daily life. Calling every day that they were apart and stopping by her place every other day. Sometimes she’d ask him to stay and sometimes she didn’t. Harry didn’t mind all the work to keep the ball rolling on his duty and job and to take care of his girlfriend and baby, nothing was as hard as to deal with Carol nowadays.

She was picking fights on the silliest stuff and that was driving him completely bonkers. He didn’t seem to win no matter what he tried and that besides being frustrating as fuck, also was tiring and annoying. He had to remember that she wasn’t like this all the time nor she would be after the baby was out, but the Prince was seriously considering that this baby would be their one and only child.

For the time being, he had nothing to do but get used to Carol’s mood swings by each passing day. Every day was a surprise where he didn’t know which Carol he’d get. The sweet one, the teary-eyed one, the bitch one or the wicked witch of the west one. He couldn’t deny that sometimes it was difficult as fuck to keep up with her snappy and bitchy attitude for no reason whatsoever.

The cycle seemed to be: she’d bitch him and then start crying because she didn’t really mean it. Or whenever he did something good for her (God forbid he sent flowers to her office just because!), she’d say that he was way too overbearing and fussy.

“Women get pregnant every day and everywhere in the world without your suffocating habits and they end up just fine without your overwhelming concern and need to keep me under your watch all the time.” she had said once.

Just to start crying right after and say that lots of women also yearned for their partner’s support and most didn’t have it at all during the pregnancy. And that he was just by her side, by choice, taking care of them. Loving and cherishing them, regardless of this being an unplanned pregnancy and that she was a heartless and mean bitch while he had all the best intentions on his heart.

Needless to say the couple were arguing more now than ever and most of the time Harry would take the blame or excuse himself out of the room to take a deep breath and to remember that his Carol wasn’t like this.

It also felt very weird to argue with an overly emotional pregnant lady.

He tried to remember that this was just a very hormonal version of the woman he loved. Also a test to see if what he felt for her would come out stronger after this trying time. It’s easy to love someone when everything is fine, but true love is proved when the wind is blowing hard and you have not choice but hold onto each other to make sure you (and her) are safe.

He knew that she was stressed with her Masters degree, still keeping top grades whilst having a full time job and working a scary amount of hours every week (which he had already asked her to take it a little bit slow) and also travelling with her project.

He did want her to take a break and take it easy. If it was up to him, Carol would spend her days resting and sleeping to her heart’s content – as she always complained about how sleepy and tired she felt – but wouldn’t dare to even think about suggesting about quitting her job. She’d throw a massive fit and say that she would keep earning her own money as she didn’t need or want his thank you very much.

Some days, and those were rare, Harry was lucky enough to get glimpses of his girlfriend – and that’s what helped to take a relieved breath: knowing somewhere deep down that ugly surface was his sweet and loving girlfriend.

She usually would ask for very weird combinations of food – which he’d always go fetch for her; and have an insatiable sex drive — that he’d be more than happy oblige; and apologize non-stop for being a bitch on steroids to him.

He would forgive her – of course, as there wasn’t anything to really forgive her for - and they would get to chat and try to plan their future as her bump would only grow from now on and they needed to strengthen their relationship and become a real team to face, first and foremost, their parents and then the Institution Harry belonged to.

“What do you want to do?” Harry asked in one of the few blissful nights where they hadn’t argued over meaningless things. They were relaxing on his bed, after an afternoon full of amazing sex that left both of them exhausted. He was lying on his back and had his hands leisurely caressing her thighs.

“Obviously I want you around and to keep the baby.” she was eating ice cream straight from the box. “The big question is: what can we do?”

“Well… I don’t even know what our options really are. Everything I think I know is just wishful thinking. We would need to face a meeting with the Firm and its minions to know for sure. I know that my father and grandmother will demand a wedding.” he side-looked at her, half expecting to have a flying spoon over his head.

“I really don’t want to get married on these circumstances.” she replied and he waited for her to finish. “I do want to get married someday but not just because you knocked me up. It’s the 21st century after all.”

“Although I am part of and represent an Institution that is stuck ten centuries behind. But never mind.”

They both laughed at that.

“I will ask permission for you to move in with me. Don’t think gran will oppose much to that as Kate and Will did it. Before you start your feminist rant...” he laughingly cut her speech, knowing that she’d come up with something to refute. “I know that you love your flat and that it is comfortable enough for the two of you and that you can pay all the bills with money to spare but...” he pecked her lips, to distract her – lest she started to yell at him after a perfect day - and stole some of her vanilla ice cream, making sure to avoid the weird toppings she added in there. “It’s not safe. For any of us. And if we would try and make it safe, it’d cost way more than renting a moving truck and a storage unit for your things as obviously we don’t need new furniture here, except for baby things.”

He could actually hear her mind running wild with thoughts and ways to refuse his offer.

“At Kensington we already have the privacy, the security system, bullet-proof windows, armored cars and 24/7 people on call whenever he or she starts screaming in the middle of the night and we need a rest.”

She smacked his shoulder playfully.

“But…” he continued. “If Gran says we can’t stay here, then I would gladly buy us a house. And pay for the security system and features.”

“You’re insane.” she stated.

“Why you say that?” he was confused.

“Buying a house just for this...”

“”This” Carolina” - he pointed his finger between them to emphasize his point - “is my family and I very much intend to be close by even though you seem to not stand to look at me for more than a few seconds these days. You would help me choose somewhere suitable for us, that has everything we need, and then we would move in together and not marry right away as it seems to be your desire.”

“Why do I sense there are other options that you’re hiding from me?”

“Well… The options of what we will be advised to do are endless. If we start playing “what ifs” and imagining scenarios that might be presented to us, we’d be here all night. There are, though, some options that stand out from these possibilities… For example: I might have to renounce my title.”

She had a shocked expression on her face.

“Says that Pa and Gran demand a wedding and we say that we don’t want to marry under pressure. We might be denied the request of you moving in. So then I’d need to move out and with that – no wedding, kicked out – the press will have a field day, change the public’s view on me and as I’d just be the prince who tarnished the name of the family, again mind you…” he laughed and continued. “Thank heavens Will and Kate have already two children to claim the throne and out goes Harry.” he joked.

“I’m sorry.” she said, already drying the tears after what he said.

He talked about it as if it was a joke but being part of royalty were what made Harry who he was. Give up on it because of her wishes was a very hard thing to do. She considered in that moment if she shouldn’t let go of her stubbornness and just get married so he’d get to keep everything that was rightfully his.

“In that scenario our child wouldn’t have a place in the succession line. We would have more freedom. This part is what I like the most of this option.”

“What do you want to do?” she asked him sincerely.

“Honestly I’d like to marry you. Pressure or not, if you were up to it we would go to the town hall tomorrow.” he waited until the shocked expression on her face faded. “We could live somewhere else than Kensington – don’t care much for that part. I don’t want our children to have titles. it’s a fucking burden to bear, but he or she will be upgraded to prince or princess whenever father is King anyway.”

“Do you think our marriage would work? I personally don’t think I’d be able to face a divorce. I want all of ‘until death us do part’.” she finished the ice cream and left the empty box on Harry’s bedside table and turned to look at him.

“Of course it would…” she looked at him pointedly and asked him to think with his mind and not heart. “Ok… thank you for the reality check. I think that we are very good to and for each other. Relationship is something you build and take care of each day. As long as we’re both committed to our success, I do believe we could go forever. We’re both children from divorced parents and I think we agree that we wouldn’t want that for our children. But also we wouldn’t want an unhealthy environment for them to grow up at, just like we did. So if it came to a point where our relationship became toxic, we would need to separate our ways.”

“That’s a more sensible response Mr. Wales.” she pecked his lips again.

“I don’t think it’s healthy for us to keep guessing what might happen. It’s way too many options. It’ll drive us crazy... I would rather think and chose something that is actually given to us to think about.”

“Do you think you can have an appointment with The Queen after my 12th week milestone?” she was biting her lips as a nervous trait.

“I shall see to it.” he answered.

“Then we will be presented with options and decide what’s best for our family.”

“Ok...” he helped her to lie down. She was wearing one of his pajamas shirts and her ten-week bump showing. He caressed it and then placed a soft kiss on it.

“I do want to tell my mom first. Can we?”

“We can do whatever you want, darling.”

“So after we pass that milestone, I will call her and then we will sit with The Queen to discuss.”

“In the meantime I will do my best to keep you hidden.” he said.

“Which won’t work as we have Tommy’s Christening to attend.” she laughed.

“And are you OK with that?” he was still caressing her bump. “I know that you want to go, but don’t you think it’d be better if you stayed home? Or maybe just attended the reception afterwards? There’s a great chance of being spotted. Are you ready for it? Your life as you know it will be forever changed… and for that I am deeply sorry.”

“Well… I don’t want to miss it and sooner or later I will be spotted. We won’t arrive together or sit together during the service. But I do think the press will put 1+1 together and link me to all other photos… As I will be the only unknown person there. And I know what I’ve signed up for upon agreeing to be your girlfriend and carrying your child. No one will ever be ready for that. And I will need to rely on you a lot.” she sighed.

(…)

Carol had asked Hailey to design something for as she had no idea what to wear on a Christening. She had been flattered when Lara had sent an invitation that said “Honorary godmother” for her, she truly wasn’t expecting an invitation to such an intimate and formal event. 

She was at her sister’s studio – which was a spare room at her house – surrounded by lots of fabrics, sketches, pictures and at least three sewing machines. This was the last fitting of the pink dress Hailey had said would work for a morning event.

“You really should stop eating junk food Carolina.” Hailey said when noticed that the dress wasn’t closing as smoothly as it was three weeks before. “You’re getting chubby.”

Concentrating on not laughing or spilling the beans, she simply nodded.

“Thank goodness the Christening is in two days or I’d have to loosen up this dress, again.” Hailey said clearly irritated. “Never show up on time on fitting days and when you do show up, you’ve gained weight. Good Lord.” she mumbled to herself and when finished, she let Carol look at herself in the mirror.

She was in awe. Even barefoot, without her hair done and make up-free she was feeling pretty. Which was a first ever since she learned she was carrying her bundle of joy. The dress had 7/8 sleeves, the front had a draped finish and the skirt that ended just above her knees was made of feathers in the same colour.

“It’s amazing, Hailey. Thank you” Carol said turning around to see. “I think I want you designing my whole wardrobe.”

“Let’s not get carried away, shall we?” Hailey joked. “Now you just need shoes and accessories. Please don’t ruin my creation.” 

“I might stop by at Harrod’s later and see if I can find anything.”

“Maybe go with a big hat to cover your face?” her sister offered knowing that Carol would have her life turned upside down any moment now.

“That’s exactly what I am going for.”

(…)

Carol had asked for a day off on Friday before the christening and packed everything she was going to need for the weekend affair. All godparents (Harry, Skippy’s sister Victoria, Lara’s brother Henry, Eugenie and Jake Warren) were to check in at the luxurious Luton Hoo Hotel for a welcome luncheon and to rehearse (Carol didn’t understand why a Christening would need a rehearsal but didn’t comment on it). Then the other guests would arrive on Saturday at noon for the Service and then attend a brunch afterwards. The godparents were expected to stay at the hotel and enjoy it’s spa, checking out only on Sunday evening after a thank you dinner.

Carol had to pack way too many outfits and right now she was fitting well into only half of her clothes because of her bump. She was accompanying Harry for the three day stay as per Lara’s request. The brunette had bought a small golden bracelet with Tommy’s name engraved as a gift and hoped his parents would like it.

Harry asked Bill to carry Carol’s luggage to the waiting car while he kissed his girlfriend and – when he checked they were truly alone - her bump.

“You both ready to go?” he asked.

“Yes! I need to see that little red headed cherub!” she said happily.

They went to the car, both sitting on the back seats, buckling up and talking animatedly about the party and Harry explaining what was expected of her. This was Carol’s first formal encounter with people he had known his whole life. Most of them were daughters and sons of his parents’ friends and they all have been a tight knit group ever since they were born. 

Skippy and Lara had opted for a small gathering of closest family members and a few selected friends – Carol was so relieved about it, she didn’t think she’d be able to face a big gathering right now. Thankfully she knew some of the guests that would likely attend as she didn’t want to be left alone while Harry was on godfather duty.

“So Eugenie is coming?” she asked.

“Yes… She’s also a godmother, remember?” he replied.

“Oh thank God. I think I only know her and Jack and Jake and Zoe. Are you sure Arthur and Alessandra are not attending?”

“Yes. Alessandra had to do something in California and Arthur went with her.” he traced the worry lines on her forehead. “Don’t stress too much, Carol. I will be by your side most of the time.”

“I know… it’s just…” she started and he waited. “Nevermind.”

“What is it darling?” Harry said holding her hand.

“I can’t help but feel inadequate to attend such an event.”

“It’s the Christening of your friends’ kid. How on earth can you be inadequate?” he was confused.

“Said friends are aristocrats, barons and baronesses... Close enough to the monarchy… and I’m… I’m just… me.” she said, not looking at him.

“Carol, trust me. Your accomplishments are way greater than what any of us will ever have. You fought your way through life to get to where you are now. We all just had it all handed to us on silver spoons, quite literally. If not actually handed, doors were opened because of connections and surnames.” he kissed her temple. “Also, if anyone think any less of you, it’s their loss. You did point out a few days ago that we’re on the 21st century after all.”

“Hopefully I won’t embarrass you. I don’t know a single thing about etiquette.” she said, biting her lower lip.

“I’ve done my share of embarrassment enough. Nothing you do will ever beat my Vegas trip. Don’t worry. If anyone treats you badly, let me know. Or just go find a familiar face to chat, Ok?”

“Ok. Thank you.”

“You’ve got it. Just keep your charming self and you’ll be fine.” he added kissing her knuckles.

She admired the change in the scenery as they left busy central London to the countryside on their way to Luton. Carol was still feeling uneasy, but decided to have some water to try and calm her stomach. Being driven on the “wrong” side of the road still scared her and she was trying to believe in what Harry had said and not what her mind was shouting at her.

The hotel was a newly renewed manor and it’s perfect tended lawn and lakes were quite imposing. Harry offered his hand to help her out of the car and they went to the lobby to check-in. He usually asked Bill to do it, but wanted to give some sense of normalcy to his girlfriend, so decided to do it himself. He obviously understood that Carol knew who he was and knew that he had some privileges and hadn’t to bother with some tasks as everything he could possible need would’ve been taken care of in a matter of seconds.

He also didn’t want to scare her away – or let her think that he was incapable of doing things for himself. He wanted to tone it down a bit, and let her see that they could mix her humble upbringing with his luxurious and privileged one. He was set to make an effort and be more hands-on on tasks that the rest of the world did on a daily basis.

“The rest of the world don’t go to a 5 start hotel for the weekend.” he thought to himself, shaking his head, while signing the paper the receptionist gave to him.

She couldn’t help but notice the clear shift on the staff behaviour when they spotted Harry. They all bowed or curtsied to him, all of them curious – but obviously not asking – as to who she was. Harry intertwined their fingers while he spoke to the attendant at the lobby, to reassure her. Bill and the other bodyguards appearing just seconds later with their luggage and attentively looking around the seemingly empty lobby.

Apparently they had a paparazzi free travel and he was thankful for that. Harry had booked the mansion state suite for them, which was bigger than her whole apartment. Their California king bed was so inviting and she wanted to take a nap so badly but knew that she couldn’t. As she was travelling comfortable – another reason to have been looked upon by the staff -, she knew that she’d have to change for the luncheon.

Soon, some of the hotel staff was unpacking their luggage and organizing everything in the walk in closet in full speed. She didn’t even have the time to ask them to leave it – as fast as they came, they were gone.

Harry was on his phone and she didn’t want to listen to his conversation, opting to go to the bathroom for a quick shower to help her to stay awake. It might have been the car movement that had her so sleepy. The bath robe available was so soft and slightly warmed that it almost made the somewhat “wake up” cold shower ineffective. She styled her hair in a sleek ponytail and opted to wear one of the dresses that concealed her growing belly. She applied make up – making it simple – and went to the bedroom to fetch both Tommy’s gift and her heels.

“You look amazing darling.” Harry said when he spotted her yawning. “Tired, huh?”

“So much...” she whispered.

“I will try to find an excuse for you, and then you both can rest a bit.” He said, kissing her neck while resting his hands on her belly.

“Good luck with that.” she laughed.

He helped her with her shoes and changed clothes as fast as he could to go to one of the banquet halls where the invitation said the luncheon would be held. He had one hand on Carol’s lower back, protectively and also to guide her through the doors. He could hear the footsteps of his bodyguards behind them and made a mental note to ask Bill to increase the distance between them a little bit. This was going to be a stressful event for Carol and he didn’t want her feeling suffocated.

Their heard Tommy crying before they arrived at the hall. Exchanging a concerned look, they hushed to the Victorian styled room. Lara was holding her cherub, pacing the room, making soothing noises while Skippy was searching for something inside the diaper bag until he retrieved a pacifier. Carol went directly to Lara.

“Carol! I’m glad you came.” Lara said, side hugging her friend while rocking the little boy and looking for her husband. “I’m sorry. He’s fussy today.”

“Is he okay?” Harry asked concerned.

“Don’t mention it! Hi Tommy.” Carol said in a sing-song voice, caressing his red locks. “Auntie Carol is here.”

“He’s fine mate. Have just woken up.” Skippy replied when arriving with the pacifier, giving it to his son who stopped crying immediately. He greeted his best friend and Carol, asking them to make themselves comfortable while they waited for some people to arrive to start serving the food.

“Carol” Lara asked after a few pleasantries were exchanged. “Do you mind coming with me?”

“Sure.” Carol handed her clutch to Harry to hold, grabbed Tommy’s diaper bag and followed Lara to the nearest bathroom that smelled like lavender which immediately made her head hurt and her stomach to turn, even before pregnancy she hated the scent to lavender. 

Thankfully she hadn’t eaten much until now. The room was large – like everything in this hotel it seemed -, with marble sinks and stalls, gold details, everything screaming “tastefully luxurious”, it also had two deep burgundy upholstered chairs

“It’s my turn to change this little man’s nappy and I think he’s getting hungry.” Lara said happily undoing his onesie buttons, while Carol handed her the wipes and a clean nappy. “I’m glad you came. We won’t have much time to catch up this weekend, though. But we should go out sometime. Maybe lunch?”

“We’ve been busy, haven’t we?” Tommy smiled melting both women’s hearts. “I wish I was busy with this little man… Office work is so boring.”

Carol disposed of the used diaper and arranged everything back into the bag while Lara sat on one of upholstered chairs and got ready to feed her baby, Carol sat across from her friend. She watched at how lovingly she talked to and looked at her son and how happy the infant latched on.

She noticed in that moment that she wanted that so badly. Her love for her child was already one of the strongest feeling she ever felt. She knew that her baby was her reason to believe in a better tomorrow and to fight for it. She knew she’d move heavens and earth to make this child protected. Her mama bear instinct kicked right in at full force.

Her hand unconsciously went to her bump caressing it. She wanted to be a mum and in that moment she finally figured out that she was going to be a mother in a few months’ time. She wanted to feel the first kicks, she wanted to hold her baby close to her and get to know everything about her little bundle of joy: his or her preferences, mannerisms, personality, dreams...

“Why are you crying?” Lara asked after she looked up at her friend and saw the brunette with tears on her eyes.

“It’s nothing...” Carol said drying her tears.

“Carol… Is anything the matter?” Lara was preoccupied.

Carol got up to fetch a tissue and dry her tears. She took a deep breath and smiled at Lara.

“I’m pregnant.” Carol blurted.

“Beg your pardon?” Lara looked at her with a shocked expression on her face.

“I’m pregnant.” Carol repeated slowly this time.

“What is it with us and bathrooms when it comes announcing pregnancies?” Lara laughed. “How far along? You weren’t planning to tell me, were you?”

“I’m ten weeks along, we found out a couple of weeks ago. And no, no one was supposed to know before the twelve week mark… but seeing you with him, I just realized that I want this so badly and these damn hormones made my mouth talk faster than my brain could think.”

“Don’t worry, your secret is well kept. I’d hug you but master here is hungry.” they smiled and Carol sat down again. “How are you feeling?”

“I didn’t have many symptoms before I found out, but then, I became tired, breasts sore, sleepy and snappy.” they laughed and Lara commented it was very normal.

“And how’s Harry?”

“Over the moon. I think he wants to spread the word like wildfire… He’s wanted this for so long.” Carol smiled caressing her bump. “But he’s into an overprotective mode that is annoying.”

“Expected. He will be like this for the rest of your lives… Stop fighting it and get used to it, Carol. After everything that has happened to his family, it’s quite obvious that he won’t let anything of the sort happen again.” Lara said. “I’m glad for you. They will be close in age!”

“Thank you for not pointing out the out of wedlock implicit in this news.” Carol said when Tommy unlatched and smiled at his mum.

“Well… you’re welcome? What are you guys going to do about it?” she gave the baby to Carol, together with a burp cloth while she clasped her nursing bra and adjusted the dress again. Carol was gently burping the baby.

“We will know for sure in two weeks. I’m trying not to think about it just yet.” she sighed.

“Do try to enjoy the peace while it lasts. We are definitely scheduling a lunch date after you have “The talk” and I will be all ears for you.” she kissed her friend’s temple.

After the baby was properly burped, the ladies made their way back to the hall where Harry had a glass of scotch on one hand, talking to Jake, Skippy and Jack, probably about football. Carol and Lara took their turns to greet the new comers, with Zoe and Eugenie cooing over the baby on Carol’s arms. Harry’s eye twinkled admiring his girlfriend thinking that soon, it’d be their baby on her arms.

Carol stood beside Harry, playing with Tommy only half listening to what people were saying around her.

“I see that Tommy’s stolen my girl.” Harry joked, caressing Carol’s lower back.

“I think it’s the ginger hair.” Eugenie joked.

“Of course it’s the ginger hair – and the cute face. It’s nice to look at one for a change.” Carol joked.

“Ok, gotta keep you too separated. You girls teaming up will be the death of me.” Harry joked.

Reluctantly Carol gave Tommy to his father while Harry introduced her to the people he knew. Basically everyone in the room was a Lord/Lady or Baron and she felt a little intimidated but didn’t let it show. Carol first met Skippy’s parents and his stepmother, she knew his father was one of Prince Charles’ best friend – and he was studying her. Clearly his friend would know that his younger son had a new girlfriend by this evening. She was polite but let Harry do the small talk. Then it was Lara’s side of the family, she was introduced to her father and brother. Skippy’s sister  was the easiest to get along with… she shared the same sense of humor as her brother’s.

Carol was relieved when she found her assigned place at one of the round tables spread against the hall. It had a round floral vase in the centre, cutlery (lots of it) were made of silver and the glasses were crystal. Harry was sitting at her left and Jack at her right, followed by Eugenie, Jake and Zoe. Knowing everyone made things easier for her and Eugenie kindly asked her boyfriend to exchange places so she could sit by Carol’s side. Both of them engaged on a conversation during the first course. Eugenie was discreetly pointing to the right cutlery without anyone noticing and Carol gave her a polite smile as a thank you.

“Don’t need to be nervous, Carol.” Eugenie said at some point. “You’ll get used to it. And thankfully the only members of the Royal family here will be Harry and I. You’ll do just fine.”

(…)

Carol excused herself from the rehearsal. She wouldn’t play an important part during the ceremony anyway and she wanted a nap. Lara, now being even more empathetic with her friend, didn’t fuss about it and Carol went to their luxurious suite and straight to the bed, not even bothering in changing clothes or removing her make up.

She woke up later with feather-like kisses on her face and slowly opened her eyes to a very handsome Harry.

“Hi.” he said smiling to her.

“Hi” she answered back.

“I’ve missed you” he said nuzzling his nose on her neck, giving her the now familiar goosebumps.

“It’s been only a couple of hours.” she caressed his beard.

“It looks like an eternity for me.” he was laying on the bed beside her. “Did you get the rest that you need?”

“I did, yes.” she yawned and stretched. “Fully charged now.”

They shared a laugh and Carol positioned her head on his chest and one of her legs between his. He instantly held her, playing with her hair.

“I’ve asked Lara for you to enter through the back door tomorrow. I think I’m not ready to share you with the world just yet.”

“Thank you.” she whispered.

“My heart almost skipped a beat when I saw you with Tommy today.” he said and she could hear the smile on his voice. “My girl with a ginger baby on her arms… If you weren’t pregnant already you’d be getting tonight.”

They both laughed hard at that.

“Don’t be so cocky.”

“It’s just… you know that you’re giving me something I’ve wanted for a long time. Don’t you?” he said after a while. “A family of my own to protect, to take care of and provide for. A child to teach lots of things – someone to be a better version of myself. Thank you, Carol. I know this is hard for you. But I promise to be there every step of the way.”

She was crying after he finished his speech and he knew it. He didn’t mention or made fun of her because of that, but he only held her tighter and kissed her temple.

(…)

Carol woke up early on Saturday morning. It took her a while to untangle herself from Harry’s arms but she managed it. Putting on the robe to cover her now naked body, she went to the living room space of their suite and asked for breakfast to be delivered for them. She took a quick shower and started setting up her make up and hairdresser station on the bathroom vanity when Harry woke up and went to her, hugging her from behind.

“Morning.” he said trying to open her robe and receiving a playful slap afterwards.

“Morning!” she replied.

“Do you have time for a quickie before you start making yourself even more beautiful?” he asked seductively.

“Now now Mr. Wales… we did have four very “longies” last night. You can’t possibly be still horny.” she said looking at him through the mirror.

“Well… your bigger breasts make me hard. I can’t help it.” he said circling her nipples with his thumb.

“If we start, we are going to be late. So, your Royal Horniness, keep yourself together and we shall deal with it afterwards.” she fastened the robe belt again while he pouted and sat on the counter.

“Why do you need all of this?” he asked pointing to all of the make up she brought, changing the subject and concentrating hard on other things so he’d get rid of the boner he was sporting at the moment.

“It’s not even enough and I want to look nice today.”

“You look nice every day.” he said while watching her washing her face and applying some lotions.

“Thank you.” she said looking at him and pecking his lips.

She started to apply her make up and he didn’t even wanted to ask what all of those things would do, deciding to take a shower before breakfast. She finished faster than he thought, given the amount of things she applied and they enjoyed the perfectly cooked breakfast before changing clothes. 

Harry wanted a picture of Carol wearing that pink dress and noticed that if she placed her hand on her belly, they could see her small bump that seemed to grow by the second. He smiled when mentioned it to her and she said that she would likely have a very big bump.

“You will be a very sexy momma.” he commented while holding her clutch and the present that they had forgotten to give on the day before and went to their friend’s suite.

Skippy opened the door to their suite and informed Carol that Lara was in the bedroom nursing. He and Harry stayed on the living room while Carol went on the search of the baby.

“Morning sunshine.” Lara said when Carol opened the door.

“Good morning!”

Tommy looked around and smiled at Carol before turning and latching once again.

“As soon as he finishes, can you dress him for me, please?” Lara asked and Carol agreed.

“We forgot to give you his present yesterday” Carol gave the small package to her friend. “I hope you like it.”

Lara opened it and thanked her friend for the bracelet. It was very delicate and simple, one that she’d buy herself for her son if she had thought of that and clearly a very well thought present for him.

“I loved it, Carol. Thank you so much.”

After the baby was well fed and burped, Carol dressed him carefully and combed his hair to the side. She then fastened the bracelet on his arms and left Lara alone so she could finish getting ready for them to leave. Upon entering the living room again, with Tommy smiling and happy, Harry’s heart filled with emotion.

“You’re going to kill me.” he whispered to her.

“Why?”

“You with him on your arms, you being so lovely to him and carrying our baby… I can’t wait until it’s our turn.”

(…)

Harry and Carol rode together with Eugenie and Jack to the St. Albans Cathedral. The car stopped first at the back entrance where Carol jumped off and quickly entered the church, finding her assigned place. And then stopped at the front of the church and sure enough, lots of photographers were waiting for them there. Harry and Eugenie waved and entered the church, waiting for Skippy and Lara to arrive. Harry was shifting his weight and looking where Carol was sitting still alone.

“Calm down, Harry. She’s just fine.” Eugenie mentioned.

“I don’t think having her here is a good idea.” He replied.

“Why not?”

“I don’t think she’s ready for what’s to come from the media once they realize who she is.” he sighed.

“It’s not going to be easy, we know that. But you love her and she loves you… and I think she’s a very strong woman. With our support she’ll do just fine.” Eugenie side hugged her cousin.

“Thank you for “our support” part. It means a lot.”

“I really like her…”

“So do I…. Jack, would you mind?” Harry asked.

“Right on it...” he pecked Eugenie’s lips and went to sit beside Carol. It was pretty obvious how she had relaxed after seeing a friendly face and they both started chatting right away.

(…)

The Service was very right to the point but beautiful and moving.

Lara had asked someone to decorate the church with lots of flower arrangements in a mixture of white Casablanca lilies, tulips and Lily of the valley. Tommy was as happy as he could be, trying the eat the program on his mum’s hand and smiling, up until the water touched his head but his daddy soon made him stop crying and cheery again.

Carol was paying attention and making sure she held the best posture as possible, as she knew that some of these people had Prince Charles on speed dial and she wanted to make a good impression.

Even though when you meet him you’re going to announce you’re pregnant… Not the greatest first impression will come out of that.

She shook her head to clear off these thoughts and smiled at her friends when Skippy waved at her from the altar. She was really fighting the urge of placing her hands on her bump and making a mental note of asking Harry how christenings were done in his family. She knew what they shared with the press, but didn’t know how the ceremony was held.

Lara requested everyone present to take a group picture, together with the priest before they left the church. Although Harry had tried to have her beside him, Carol ended up beside Jack on the far right of where he was. After the pictures were taken, Bill appeared signalling it was time to go and Carol left through the back entrance going straight to the waiting car.

At moment, as they had rehearsed, Harry and Eugenie left the church through the front door together with the other attendants and stopped to take a few pictures with his godson as Lara wanted.

Everyone else started to get into their cars to head to the reception whilst Harry, Eugenie and Jack  conveniently stayed behind to stop and wave to the press – just to make sure that Carol’s car would be long gone without anyone following.

Jack was the one driving this car and he could see that the Prince was nervous and he could relate to that… He was the one arriving at the family and even then it was very difficult. As soon as they entered the Hotel’s grounds – out of sight of the paps that began following them - Harry got out of the car before it even fully stopped moving and bolted straight through the corridors until he found the reception room. Carol was there, sipping on some water and he immediately hugged her.

“Are you alright, darling?” he was carefully checking her to make sure she wasn’t going to hide anything.

“Yes, just fine… I think I’m still undercover.” she said. “Bill is a great security man, Harry. Don’t worry.”

“I don’t like the idea of you getting discovered while pregnant...” he confessed.

“I know. I don’t either.” she chastely pecked his lips. “Let’s just not think about it, ok? Everything went fine and the other guests are arriving and you have more pictures to pose for.”

Harry went on godfather mode, still making sure Carol was within his eyesight.

The photographer Lara hired was good, getting all the “must have’ shots as quickly as possible and Harry wanted to have one of him, Carol and Tommy. When he saw the picture on the camera’s display, he knew that it was going straight to the mantle of his fireplace.

________________________________________________

A/N: I hope all of you are keeping safe and sane on this quarantine mode.

Thank you for your continued support! I love to read all of the messages you send me and hopefully you’ll enjoy this quit long chapter.

Xoxo

[mieczyhale]

a messy explanation of things and unnecessary information about life lately

soooo... right. i’m sorry i haven’t really been around aside from popping in here and there, and that i’ve been taking longer than usual to reply to things / not replying to things at all. it’s NOT that i’m upset with anyone or trying to ignore / avoid anyone, and it’s not that i don’t care / don’t love talking to you (whomstever you may be) i love chatting with y’all and wish i could get myself to reply to things quicker but i do not control the me lmfao honestly my sleep has never had a schedule but in recent weeks it’s kinda been operating like there’s a lil gremlin in my head who spins a wheel and picks my sleeping times at random - and it’s either like.. two hours or most of a day. there hasn’t been a lot of in between so that’s a thing!!

also in a fun added mix of maybe sleep?, missing meds, being stuck in the house more often than not, and the FUCKING EVERYTHING happening in the world right now my mental health is... probably run by the same goblin that runs my sleep schedule lmao consistency whomst?? since the lockdown started the depression has of course been around more but actually, worse than that, is how my anxiety - and by extension: my ocd - have really amped up and i need y’all to know that the struggle is painfully real (and another thing that affects shit like my replies and writing. reading as well. fics have been kinda stressful and that should be illegal. who authorized this?) i don’t hate talking about it but i don’t really like it either?? especially like.. in depth. but i will say there has been crying, screaming, pain!, and i’ve acquired a few physical injuries.

so

yeah

on a personal level - a ‘just me’ level - shit is an even bigger mess than usual lmao but all these things will get better eventually - they always do. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

NOW

ON A PERSONAL LEVEL - THE FULL LEVEL - THINGS.... are pretty great actually! i mean aside from the state of my fucking house e__e but Josh has been working from home for two (2) months now and it’s been really nice - people complaining about their partners being home?? can’t relate. yknow what?? i just might love that tall bastard even more from all this.fuck all y’all miserable fucks

we’ve been going out for drives and we’ve gone fishing and the only place i’ve gone too that’s re-opened is goodwill. because i require.. the shop. they do have a masks required rule! (at least at the one here) and, alongside that, the places we’ve gone that never closed (like grocery stores and the gas station and the hardware store) have social distancing rules and stuff in place which i love. can we keep social distancing after this is all over?? more things here in wisconsin are opening up and we might go to some. idk though. we also might not. either way its still a weird kind of exciting to see things opening back up?? even though i do think we’re not totally in the clear because most of our gov. sucks (our mayor tried to extend our stay-at-home order - keyword there is TRIED. we are the land of cheese, cows, and no fucking braincells for anyone) 

having pets is obviously not a new thing for me but it’s still a thing. so it takes time and effort and energy and patience and love and a certain disregard for your own safety (claws. they really be as sharp as you think) so... it can be stressful, especially cuz we’ve had to keep them inside more as it gets hot out and something keeps breaking our porch screens (our cats are allowed onto our screened in porch or they can go out in a harness but we will never let them run free outside. fuck that noise)  my bbies are all so cute and their personalities and idiosyncrasies are just... *chefs kiss* i love em and they’re definitely a part of what has made quarantine better

i’ve seen my mom a few times, like for my birthday and when she needed help moving Isaiah from one dorm to another and such, but that’s primarily been an option because she has become anti-mask and anti-stay-at-home-order. initially she wasn’t - she gave Isaiah and i fun lil masks since at that time trying to buy them would be impossible and she thought nothing of staying home - but i guess either as its dragged on or as she’s consumed her middle-right wing news that changed s o. she does take social distancing in public very seriously though, so at least there’s that. our favorite coffee shop, where we - pre-lockdown - always went one (1) or two (2) times a week to do art for hours re-opens on monday and that’s one of the few things i’ve truly missed.

josh’s camping trip for this weekend with his friends had to be cancelled because the parks weren’t going to open in time. so today they’re going somewhere to do at least some of the things they would have done if they had gone camping. bikes, bonfires, and cigars. i’m kinda jealous negl but he was really excited about it so mostly i’m happy

trying to figure out how human services was running things during lockdown was rough but thankfully it didn’t take much to get it sorted. mostly because my mom made the phone call i was supposed to lol (the phone anxiety is on its own level) so wednesday afternoon my mom sat with me while i had the appointment with my psychiatrist over speakerphone (which was.. an experience)

ummm.....

OH YEAH! Probably absolutely my favorite thing that’s happened is: WE’RE STARTING THE SEARCH FOR A NEW HOUSE!!!! it doesn’t mean we’re gonna be moving soon or anything, we don’t want to make the same mistake twice (buying the first house you tour that you love) because while it is a great house ultimately it is way too small for us. i mean there’s me and josh, all six cats, and ALL OUR SHIT. listen: i have an entire room dedicated to my various hobbies. and a walk in closet that isn’t big enough. and we both have collections we love and want to display (right now upstairs its hello kitty and downstairs its astronomy and the titanic. and then there’s pop figures, mtg, collectibles, our bottle collection and various knickknacks, etc.) plus all our books! then furniture and cat furniture (i.e towers) and all their shit because they are spoiled babies. and god forbid we ever have a human kid?? yeah. it’s just not big enough. 

so we’re gonna take more time with this choice but what we do know is:: we wanna live out in the country (i’m paranoid and don’t like to be looked at and he loves the outdoors, lived on a farm for awhile. i also enjoy the outdoors but mostly since we moved into this house i’ve struggled with doing anything outside... while we only have one neighbor on our road. but there’s one across the road and one at the other side of our backyard and that’s just too much lol) 

lets see.. um.... my birthday was may 2nd and that was pretty nice, for a pandemic birthday. there’s been a lot of stuff happening involving josh’s family but that’s not something i really wanna get into on here, tho i will say things have been better in recent weeks and it’s been... really nice. josh and i went to his mom’s house the other night and got drunk with her for fun and i actually had a really good time?? and didn’t complain about going?? that’s kinda unheard of.

i don’t have a job anymore - haven’t since early march-ish - and it kinda sucks but also the universe really did me a solid because my choices were either allow myself to work until i have a mental break again or quit. and i was leaning towards quitting (things had been going down hill with the owner and other employees and just the business as a whole for awhile and there’s a limit to the amount of bullshit i can take thanks) but now it doesn’t seem i have to. why do i think i’m jobless? i was barely working anyway, bc of the snow business was slow, and in march i got really sick and stayed home for a week. the day i was supposed to go back i was still sick, and covid19 was starting to become more of a serious situation everywhere, so josh called in for me and explained that between still being sick and my anxiety over covid (asthma + a not so great immune system) i wasn’t going in that day. i never heard from them again. so. 

but it’s all good - there are some options but i’m not looking into them seriously until it’s safe to.

SO

THAT’S ALL OF FUCKING THAT ON THAT

i felt it wouldn’t be a bad idea to come on here and explain A. what’s been going on and B. where i’ve been and C. that if i haven’t responded to you or acknowledged something you sent me / tagged me in it’s literally just because i either forgot to (for all reasons and none) or i don’t have the mental space / energy to. but that doesn’t mean you have to stop talking to me! even if i don’t respond or respond immediately i do read everything and i would die for any one of you fuckers (especially my clowns and the tom hardy movie) 

oh! and just btw - sometimes i don’t get notifications (quelle surprise) tumblr and skype should really pair up and talk about their truly great systems that function so well /s 8| ANYWAY: the best and most reliable ways to get my attention are twitter ( @/mieczyhale) and discord (same name) because i have yet to see their notifications fail. ahem.

i feel like i’m missing things / forgetting things but honestly this post is long enough and also enough of a rambley mess that i’m just gonna try and ignore that feeling and carry on with my goddamn day so i might actually accomplish something. sorry if there’s spelling off or missing words. i’m not taking the time to re-read this and might even delete it bc it’s already giving me anxiety bUT WE’LL SEE ALRIGHT HI AND BYE I LOVE YOU GUYS <3

[beautcous]

Thread 03 (Car Troubles)

It was a bit surreal the sheer amount of times she had ran into Ezra, and each time she did a sense of guilt accompanied her. Why? Because every time she did it was as if someone powerful force was keeping her glued in his presence, what that the force was she did not know. Every time she ran into him, Sydney couldn’t deny she wanted his attention, couldn’t deny how much he intrigued her. God, she was dating someone and here she was acting like a school girl over a guy who so out of her league. To make matters worse, somehow, he had persuaded her into giving him her number when he’d kept her company in place of Lucia at dinner one night. So, against her better judgement, a few days later, Sydney had then attended a party Ezra had invited her to go, and as thought back to way she had danced and flirted with, she flinched. That sense of betrayal coursing through her when she thought of her girlfriend. Luck was not her side today either, as Sydney’s car broke down and she was currently in the midst of calling roadside assistance when a sleek Porsche rolled up in front of her. Her brows rose as she waited for the owner to roll down the window.

Despite his busy shooting schedule, Ezra was actually have a pretty good day. The brunette who had captured his attention kept creeping into the forefront of his mind. He knew it was crazy of him to have pursued her after finding out that she had a girlfriend, but he couldn’t stop himself. He was drawn to her, and a part of him still wondered if maybe it might have a lot to do with her possibly being his soulmate. That had to be the case. His gut was telling him so. The question now was; how was he going to find out? It wasn’t like he could just lay one on her, that might earn him a slap. As he was driving towards his house the object of his musing appeared before him. Sydney was standing on the side of the road, it looked like she might be having car troubles. A smile spread across his features as he slowed his Porsche to a stop and rolled down his window. “We really have to stop meeting like this. It’s starting to get creepy.” He said with a chuckle before he nodded to the passenger side of his car and went on to say, “You need a ride? Hop on. I’ll take you home.” He simply couldn’t believe his luck. It seemed like Destiny was trying to tell him something with his constant accidental meetings with Sydney.

Of course it was Ezra who had rolled up in front of her, really, Sydney knew she shouldn’t be so surprised. And yet, here she was unable to keep the shock off her features as she watched him roll down his windows and poke his head out. As was the norm, once more, her heart skipped a beat as flashed her his signature charming smile that may or may not have made her weak in the knees. And once more she felt the delight of seeing Ezra wash over her yet again even though it had only been about two weeks since she last saw him. How pathetic was it that she was still counting their time a part? Extremely pathetic she would argue. It wasn’t that Sydney wasn’t relieved that someone she knew came to her rescue, the problem was she was afraid of being alone with him a confined space be it a short drive to her home. Still, it was getting late and standing outside alone was not a practical option. At his words, Sydney schooled her features and snorted softly, “Say’s the guy who always finds me first. I’m starting to think you are stalking me, Ezra.” She responded then hesitated for a few seconds before climbing inside the passenger seat. But as she buckled herself, she couldn’t deny the thrill that came with knowing that Ezra always seem to want to seek her out be it by accident. Sydney faced him once she was settled inside, “Thank you, I appreciate this.” She told him sincerely, between saving her from a drunken asshole and now finding her deserted, she was beginning to think he was her knight in shinning armor as cheesy as it was. “You sure have an uncanny ability to show up right when I need you.”

Ezra didn’t want to act smug, but he couldn’t stop himself from grinning from ear to ear even if he tried to. It was as if Lady Luck was beaming down on him. Sure, he would be the first to admit that he held some really strong feelings for the brunette. There was more to it than mere attraction however, and he was more than sure that it was because she was his. To anyone who didn’t believe in soulmates, they would probably think that he was full of shit and maybe he was, and yet he couldn’t give a crap about other people’s opinions when he was certain about his theory. He still had to come up with a way to prove it though, that was going to be his toughest challenge yet, only because she already had a girlfriend. He wasn’t an asshole and wouldn’t kiss someone who was taken; that would make him lower than scum, but…if the opportunity presented itself, if she were to kiss him first, that would be what he called ‘fair game’. He wasn’t stupid after all… His gaze lingered outside where she stood, probably wondering if she should even accept his invitation to drive her home. Luckily for him, she climbed inside, but not before throwing a retort of her own. He waited until she was safely inside before responding to her, “I don’t see the need to stalk you, Syd, you keep being thrown in my path. What am I supposed to do? Not help?” A brow rose, although he kept a smile on his face just for her. For a short time, he simply looked back at her before finally driving off. “I guess I must be your hero then. Fortunately for you, I’m also very good to look at.” The remark came out so easily; for some reason that was still a mystery to him, he was only able to be this free with Sydney. He wasn’t cocky by nature, oddly however, he always sounded that way whenever he was around her.

Sydney watched his wide grin with slightly narrowed and suspicious eyes and it was also what had her hesitating before she finally made her up to climb inside his car. As she had asked prior, Ezra did keep his flirty comments to a minimum and his hands to himself but somehow she still got the feeling that he was only doing so to placate for the time being. Maybe it was the smug and cocky air he had about him every time they were around that led Sydney to believe Ezra was just biding his time. Why that had her intrigued, Sydney had no idea all she knew was that she could not allow herself to be swept up in this man. Ezra had only been a temporary crush and desire and while she was more than grateful that she had the chance to meet him, It didn’t mean she was going to get caught up. If only she could tell her heart that, convince that side that also yearned for him that she didn’t want him. When Syd was inside, she could feel his gaze on her, once more the prickly sense of awareness went down her spine at the way his hot gaze lingered on her. Somehow, he had also made her look back at him finding her own eyes glued to his face until he began driving. She then turned to look ahead, giving him directions in between, “And I told you I don’t believe in destiny, real life doesn’t work like that.” She told him matter-of-factly, before her lips twitched, “I’ve come to the conclusion you definitely are a hero, not only mine, but for many others I’m sure.” Her tone a bit gentler but when he said he was her hero, her heart thumped harder against her chest. God, why did she want that so much? Why did it delight her so when he said he might just be her hero? It was his final cocky remark that had her look over him, a brow raised, “There’s the infamous arrogance, and if said I don’t agree with that statement?”

Despite her friendly nature, Ezra could still sense the hesitancy in her. He couldn’t blame her for reacting as such, he wasn’t exactly always so easy to get along with. Although he wasn’t rude by nature, he knew that he rubbed her the wrong way with how easily he had flirted with her at the beginning. But to his defense, when he did those things, he didn’t know that she had a girlfriend. Once he did, not once did he try anything untoward with her. He still believed that he was here for a reason, and that reason might be strongly related to her being his soulmate; there really was no other way to describe it. He’d never been this persistent with any other woman in his life. There had to be a reason why he was reacting this way towards her. “If you say so, Syd. I’m not going to keep arguing with you on the matter.” He told her, shrugging his shoulders and then turning to focus on the road. A chuckle was pulled from his diaphragm when he heard her next remark. “That’s sweet, but I only want to be your hero…” Since he was driving, he kept his eyes on the road and only stopped when they were at a red light. “Was I being cocky? Oh, I’m terribly sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I’d say you’re a liar if you don’t think that I’m good looking.” Sitting here, watching her even in the dim light, he could see that she wasn’t repulsed by him. Couple that with her confession to having a crush on him, all that spoke volumes; she did find him attractive. “By the way, I don’t know where you live. You might want to tell me where I’m going or we might end up in Las Vegas before long.” Since he didn’t want to make things weird, or God forbid, creep her out, he figured that a change of topic was in order. Besides, he did promise to take her home. How could he do that if he didn’t know where she lived?

Perhaps Sydney was so bothered by his flirting was because of how easily it affected her. Other good-looking men have tried to flirt with her but she had never been effect in this way with them, she had only eyes for Lucia. No man or woman had been able to tempt her from her girlfriend, that is until she came face to face to Ezra. It was unnerving, yes, but it was also a bit alarming that he had this sort of effect on her. Sydney supposed it was because of her crush but also because of who he was, someone untouchable in her eyes but then he’d showed her another side completely. While he was still a bit arrogant and cocky, he was also very much down to earth, the way he carried himself was almost as if he were just an ordinary man rather than a celebrity. Perhaps that’s what attracted her to him the most, his charm aside, Ezra was still humble and more importantly he was kind and genuine. Sydney was not blind to those good qualities of his, he had made her notice him due those exact traits he exhibited to her. At his words, Sydney sighed softly knowing he wad conceding on that. Truth was, she still wondered how the hell did they keep crossing paths and why now out all the this time? Her heart still racing as she heard his next words, but she smiled nonetheless, “Don’t let this go to your head, but yeah, you just might be my hero.” She gave him that one because it was the truth, she still thought of him as that given the way he seemed to pop right when she needed him. Was this the destiny that Ezra always spoke about? A laugh left her lips, “You’re impossible, Ezra Meyers and you’re never sorry for being cocky. So, why start now?” She felt her eyes on him and this time Sydney looked back at him before turning back to the road as well. “Keep going and you’re going to make a right one the second signal.” Curiosity got the best of her which prompted to ask, “How come you’re out so late? Late night scene shooting or a late night date?”

Ezra really didn’t expect anything to come out of his day; he’d had a really productive one, his shoot had gone on rather easily and he was even able to go home a little earlier than he normally did. What would have topped things off was a hot shower and then going to bed at a decent time. Most people would’ve called him boring, but he really didn’t mind his mundane schedule, it gave him time to rest; something that he didn’t normally get. He was in a good mood when he drove home, what made it even better was seeing Sydney’s beautiful face. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, no matter how hard he tried. Some might say that it was pathetic, but if it made him look that way, he didn’t care because at least for now, he was getting to spend some time with her. He was greedy when it came to having time with her. What with her having a girlfriend, he knew that he couldn’t see her as much, and yet, Destiny had a way of bringing them together; even if she kept denying the fact. It didn’t bother him however–her denial–all he needed was the chance to prove her wrong. If only he could do that and prove to her that she was his other half; that would top off his…well, his existence really…

A laugh spilled free when he heard her remark. “That must’ve been hard for you to admit, but thank you, I’m glad you could admit that I’m your hero.” Of course it was too late, he’d allowed her compliment to inflate his ego. Why should he not feel that way when he was so enamored by her? “Me? I think I’m adorable and I know you think so too. I can’t be impossible and your hero at the same time, that’s confusing.” It was easier for him to respond to her once he heard her laughter. It almost felt like it was the fuel he needed to simply let go and be a little more of himself. There was always a limit to what he could do, obviously. She was after all someone’s girlfriend, but just because she belonged to another, it didn’t mean that he couldn’t flirt with her a little. His attention was still on the road while they chatted however, and when he heard her directions, he followed it. “This is not all that late, really. I had an early night, we were done shooting earlier than expected. Otherwise, I would’ve been there until two in the morning.” He answered her question, while turning into the street that she directed him towards.

While Sydney would never admit it to Ezra, since that day at the beach festivities on Halloween, she hadn’t stopped thinking about him. The moment she  alone with her thoughts, he would appear in the forefront of her mind without any sort of warning.  It was frustrating to say the least because all she ever did was replay every interaction she had with him. It was becoming a bit pathetic by now and even more so that despite having a girlfriend she was noticing Ezra. The problem was, how was she not supposed to notice him? With those piercing eyes, those almost poetic comments he made about her, and then the best part, his kind nature. Every time he stared at her with those piercing eyes, it was as if her own hues were being pulled towards him, as if she were drowning in that intense hot gaze of his. Whatever it was, Sydney had to get a grip on herself she had asked to keep boundaries between them and she intended to make sure they remained.

Sydney rolled her eyes playfully, no doubt that somehow her words had definitely gone to his head. But she quite liked the laugh he released the sound making her smile because it was so pleasing to her ears. “It actually was, I’ve learned that I have to watch what I say around you.” She joked back at him, partially serious too because she did carefully chose her words lest she give him an opening. “Oh, no? But it’s fitting for you, don’t you think so? You are a contraction after all. You’re kind but also cocky and annoyingly smug.” The brunette nodded as Ezra explained what he’d done during his day, but she was extremely curious to see what it was he was shooting as often as she was about his latest projects. She was wanting to ask what it was but just then Ezra pulled up into her drive way and dare she say she was disappointed that she would have to leave his company. The mere thought left her stunned for a moment, and she chalked it up to the fact that his energy was just contagious. Once Ezra placed the car in the parking gear, she unbuckled her seat belt before turning to him, “Thank you for dropping me home.” She murmured to him and she didn’t know what it was that had her suddenly lean over the console until her lips hovered by his cheek. Maybe it was a dumb decision but she did want to thank him in some way to show her appreciation and her gratitude.  She could feel her heart thudding as her lips made contact to his cheek.

“You never have to do that, Syd. Not with me at least, I always want you to be completely honest with me.” It was good to know that the brunette beauty at least found it easy to compliment him. Could that be another sign that they were made for each other? A friend of his told him once that he could never lie to his soulmate, what if this was another indication? Ezra couldn’t be sure of the fact of course, for all he knew his friend could’ve been full of shit. Still, whatever the truth was, he liked hearing her compliments, even if she tried to downplay the fact. “Ah, maybe so, but you still find me adorable.” He countered, and turned so he could face her for a moment; where he then batted his lashes before his laughter bubbled over. God, the lengths he went through just to impress her was ridiculous, and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to stop either. No matter how hard he tried,–not that he tried very hard–he felt as though he would always be a fool for her. The drive to her place was over before he knew it and it took everything in his being not to let out a sigh once they were parked outside her home.

There was a part of him that wanted to tell her to stay, so they could talk for a while, but that would mean that he would have to beg for her time; something he swore he wouldn’t do, simply because he knew that she had a girlfriend and he didn’t want to make things difficult. Ezra knew however, that he would want to see her again and maybe if he got really lucky, he would cross paths with Sydney before too long. After all, he did keep on bumping into her when he least expected it to happen; like tonight. With no other reason to keep her with him, he was going to respond to her gratitude and tell her goodnight before heading on home, but as he shifted to look at her, he felt her lips on his cheek and by pure accident, his lips grazed hers. That was when it happened; his soulmark tingled. He had been right all along, she was his other half! As if that was all he needed to react, he reached for her, pulling her until she was settled on his lap before he attacked her lips again. His heart thudded loudly behind his chest as his tongue dueled with hers in a dance filled with passion. This couldn’t be real, this incredible woman couldn’t be his soulmate; and yet, the continuous buzzing he felt as his mouth assaulted hers told him that it was all true. His prediction had been right all along, she was born to complete him.

“I should have no problem with the honesty.” She reassured him, the amusement still gleaming in her eyes and when Ezra turned to bat his eyes lashes at her, laughter bubbled from her throat once more. Ezra was correct, however, she did find him adorable and that was yet another thing she didn’t need to be thinking of. t was then Sydney realized she could get used to this, his cocky comments which at first annoyed her but now she was beginning to like a bit too much. Or perhaps she always liked them but could never bring herself to admit them, namely because it was scary how easily Ezra affected her. Whereas she was able to shake their first encounter off and shake off the delight that coursed through when he called her beautiful and expressed such interest in her now it was becoming harder to ignore all of his attention. It was attention Sydney shouldn’t want but she did, a small part of her could admit she liked the interested he expressed in her. Why he was so interested in her, she still didn’t know and it wasn’t because Sydney didn’t believe she attractive or a decent person but she never believed herself to be able to hold Ezra’s attention. A man whom perhaps had been with his fair share of interesting people, far more interesting than her. There was also a greater part of her that wanted to ask him why out of all people he was trying to gain her favor.

Much to her shocking disappointment, Ezra had pulled up to her home and Sydney found herself not wanting to leave. It was like this inexplicable sort of ache that had settled in the pit of her stomach, this yearning to stay here and bask in his presence and the way he was making her feel as if the heavens themselves descended upon her. Still, without thinking Sydney leaned in to kiss his cheek as a sign of gratitude or may she just wanted to feel his skin under her lips if only briefly. Expect just before her lips could make contact with his cheek, Ezra turned to face her and their lips brushed together. A delicious spark went down her spin and she swore felt a tingle right where her soulmark was. Her emerald hues widened and before she could pull away, the actor grabbed her and hauled her onto his lap. Their lips now molding together and a sharp left her lips which gave him the perfect chance to slip his tongue inside of her mouth. A soft moan left her lips, but shocked still coursed through her as the burning sensation on her soulmark only deepened. This couldn’t be it….there was no way Ezra was her soulmate, there had to be a mistake. Still, her mind raced as well as her heart and she found herself kissing him back with the same passion he exhibited. Her legs hugging his hips and her hands twined around his neck and she moaned into his mouth. Sydney knew she should stop this, she should pull away and get out of his car and far far away from him but both the pleasure of his kiss and the shock of her new discovery left her in place. God, the way he was kissing her it was as if he was trying to devour her and her body ached to give in ache for more. “Ezra” she gasped trying to pull away once her brain caught up to her, and her hands tugging on his hair.

Everything made sense now. The ache, the longing, the sleepless nights, it all came to him clearly now. Ezra had never felt such clarity. All along, he’d suspected that she might be his soulmate; his other half, but he didn’t dare to try anything with her, simply because she wasn’t free, she had a girlfriend. In a way, he did feel guilty for doing this. While he’d found the woman who was born to complete him, the woman that Sydney was in a relationship with had inadvertently lost her. He was more than sure that it sucked being in her shoes; it had to, and yet, as he held the beautiful brunette in his arms, their lips moving together in a sensual kiss, he couldn’t bring himself to give into his guilt. For now, this was more important. He’d hungered for her and he was going to use this moment to his advantage. His hands wandered about her back before it found a resting spot on the curve of her ass where he then palmed the meaty flesh as his tongue plundered about her sweet mouth. Fuck, if kissing her was this good, he wondered what it would be like to really have her; to experience unbridled pleasure within her body.

Would she moan under his touch? While his mouth, teeth, and tongue explored every soft curve of her body? It had been over a year since he’d been with someone sexually. With work being in the way, he hadn’t made it a priority to get laid. Not that he would be without choices if he chose to go down that route. It just wasn’t him. He was more of a relationship guy. Unfortunately for him, it wasn’t easy for a famous Actor to be in one when his schedule was so hectic; it also was partly because he hadn’t met his soulmate yet. But now that he had; he was bound and determined to prove to her that she belonged with him. The thought lit a fire within him; the desire he felt for his Sydney heightening. Their kisses grew hot and he shifted a little; allowing her sex to bear down on his erection. His head tilted to give him more access to her sweet mouth, meanwhile his heart hammered in his chest. He didn’t know if he could bring himself to stop, not when it felt this good to have her near. Eventually, he relented when he heard his name falling from Sydney as she grasped at his hair. “You’re mine…” He rasped, swallowing loudly while he rested his forehead against hers; their lips still mere inches apart. “I knew that you had to be mine, Syd.”

Sydney still found it difficult to wrap her mind around the fact that he was her soulmate. How was this even possible? Was this the reason why she’d been so drawn to him since she’d first laid eyes on him? But she supposed a lot of the things she had experienced before meeting him made a lot more sense. It was the only way she could explain her draw to him, how since upon meeting him, Ezra was all she thought about despite her attempts not to. This was why she was always yearning for him, why despite her insistence that she didn’t want him, she still ached for him. However, with that revelation also came panic. But as his mouth claim hers, Sydney could feel herself get lost in the kiss and feel herself respond as passionately. The butterflies fluttering in her stomach as did desire to get even closer to him. Nothing seemed to exist but each other and she moaned as she felt his strong hands roam her back before settling on her ass and he squeezed it. The brunette shifted closer, suddenly feeling as if she wasn’t close enough to him while his mouth left wracked havoc on her body. Every nerve and fiber coming alive at his kisses and his touch and a sharp gasp left her lips when Ezra shift and she felt his arousal poking right at her center. Sydney swore she could feeling herself getting wet at the feel of his rather impressive arousal against her.God, what was she doing? This should not be happening, regardless of whether he was her soulmate or not. But as he continued to kiss her the urge to let him continue was so overpowering she had to put an end to it. It was then she remembered Lucia and guilt came crashing down on her as she tugged on his hair a bit harshly and thankfully he pulled away. However, Ezra still kept her there as their heavy breathing filled the car and when his forehead came to press against hers, her eyes widened following his words. That was enough to snap her out of her lust-filled haze and she pulled away from him, “Don’t say that!” She snapped, finally pulling herself together, ignoring her beating heart as his words of being his echoed in her mind. But why did those send a fresh wave of pain through her? Sydney then scrambled off his lap, “You should not have kissed me, what the hell is wrong with you?” She demanded, her eyes now hard as ice chips. “I’m not yours, so don’t ever say that to me again. Let me out.”

Ezra had kissed a lot of beautiful women in the past, whether it be a staged kiss or the ones he shared with his ex-girlfriends, they had all been good, but never had he felt this complete over one kiss. He’d heard that things would be different once you kissed your soulmate, and he’d always believed that. It was after all something that you would share with your other half. That should be a feeling that was special and when he kissed Sydney, he felt that down to the depths of his soul. This feeling he felt for her would not be so easily erased; it would take an absolute hurricane for him to want to walk away, and even then, he didn’t know if he could ever let her go. The only question left was Sydney going to give him that chance? By the aggressive way she’d pushed him away, he knew that he had an uphill battle. Anger and possessiveness immediately sat within him. How dare she tried to push him away? Didn’t she feel what he felt too? Logic stopped him from acting rashly however. As much as he wanted to force her into accepting what they shared, he wasn’t going to coerce her into that. If she was going to accept him, she would have to do it out of her own free will. A heavy sigh left him and he watched as she tried to distance herself from him. His heart ached having to see her like this.He wasn’t a monster and knew that this must be hard on her. With his brows furrowed together, he spoke to her, though he was careful to keep his words from coming out harshly. “I understand that all this doesn’t make sense to you right now, but have you forgotten that you kissed me too?” He allowed a pause to settle between them before continuing with his line of thought. “Listen, Sydney, I know that this is a lot to process and I’m going to give you time to deal with everything. I will not force you to be with me because I’m beyond sure that you’ve taken the time to understand what you want, you’ll come to me and be all mine someday.” A huge part of him wanted to reach out to her, to hold her hand and tell her that everything would be fine in the end, but he knew that she would just push him away, so instead, he unlocked the doors for her. “Think about what I’ve told you. I will talk to you soon.”

Sydney too had her fair share of pleasurable kisses but this was one kiss that she felt as if she lacked the vocabulary to properly describe how all-consuming it was. She couldn’t ever remember a kiss effecting her to this extent nor did she ever experience these fireworks that went off inside of her. It was once cliche she never fully believed in but perhaps because she had no felt them until the very very moment her lips touched Ezra’s. That’s what terrified her the most, she was not supposed to be feeling anything for this man not when she had feelings for her girlfriend. Sydney had never felt so awful in her life and to feel it after she enjoyed just a consuming kiss shocked her. She’d heard all kinds of things that occurred when you kissed your soulmate or when you were simply just around the but she never thought it was things that could change the very alchemy of her soul. Even as she pushed him away and hurled harsh words in his direction, the yearning never stopped even as the guilt surfaced. Guilt of cheating on her girlfriend by kissing this man and the guilt of hurting Ezra because she hadn’t missed the look that crossed his features the hurt but the anger as well. She never wanted to hurt anyone not him and not Lucia but she supposed she’d end up doing both. She wouldn’t keep this from Lucia but she couldn’t give Ezra what they both wanted. More importantly, she refused to let this soulmate business affect her she wanted no part of it after watching her father completely break.

SIlence filled the car as Sydney waited for him to let her go, she needed to be alone and far, far away from this man who easily clouded her better judgement. Oh, if Ezra only knew how easily he had her melting into him and she wondered if he knew that but with the passion she’d poured into his kiss was perhaps telling enough. For a moment she worried he wouldn’t let her just yet, but just as she opened her mouth to demand he let her out yet again but stopped when he spoke up. She didn’t meet his gaze and looked ahead as Ezra spoke, his every word piercing her for reasons she didn’t quite understand. However, his words that he wouldn’t force her into anything did relieve her but that was also shorted lived until he spoke the very last few words. She whipped her head around and narrowed her eyes at him, her heating still hard in her chest. How was he this arrogant? Who the hell did he think he was? Talk to her soon? Not on her watched, Sydney had ever intention of keeping far away from Ezra. “Oh, how considerate of you. Doesn’t sound like your giving me time at all, you still expect me to come running to you. What makes you sure I will?” She countered a bit furiously, just as she heard the looks click undone but before she stepped out she turned him, “I won’t be kissing you again nor will we ever be speaking. Goodbye, Ezra.” With that she climbed out and shut the door behind her and all but ran inside of her home. Tears pooling in her eyes both at parting with him and what she’d do have to do the very next day.

COMPLETE.