#BUT ITS SO FUNNY LIKE OH MY GOD BROTHER THEY ARE BOTH DOING THE MOST MY BOYS MY BOYS MY BOYS

[boxwinebaddie]

because i wrote insane jerseykyleyb dialogue in that long ass ask answer i just wrote ( which, holy shit guys, a mildly in character nina post? naaah ur tripping; un hasn't answered an ask in months skdks )

you can have some of this VERY CURSED ( i'm sorry, he's so fucking funny he is my hero, seriously ) in the heat ( wheW! bc he's BAD) of the very fucked up ravesey breakup/divorce and ( sigh ) a very frightening manic bipolar episode/bender ( manz bad in both ;) & :( ways ) rockstar ravenstan of crimson dawn on stage at his show

BEIN THE FUNNIEST MAN ONCE DEAD & NOW ALIVE,

and the only context is that it's a divorce era para ( the worst kind, like bruh, uncle neen! can we pls have something hap--shhhh~ don't worry about that, baby! just eat your delicious dinner, sweetheart! xx <3 )

ravenstan has manic panic pixie dream boy box-dyed red hair, ( i am barking ) it's a crimson dawn concert, and...jersey is in the audience in...( sigh again ) the worst FUCKING DISGUISE i've even SEEN!!!!

anyways...

ROOOOLL CLIP!

( edit: no one clap me for my bad eStañol; i haven’t taken it or anythin seriously since universidad ( bad ), babEy! )

please note that after this…he quite literally just started basically making an online dating profile and was listing off his interests ( idk if it’s gonna stay but it was hella funny and he is so cute to me; it just got too long ) but this is my favorite part — BEAUTIFUL DORK TTRPG RAVENSTAN IS LIKE NERVOUS FLUSTERED SIMP JERSEY TO ME; IT IS MY FAVORITE CONTENT —

rock and body ROOOOLL

BONUS TRACK:

my hand is over my EYES…btw, the people booing?

That’s ME.

i’M BOOOOOOOING!!!!

gET OFF THE STAGE, STANNIE DORKOOO!!!!

[talaok]

i loved the hickey fic🥵

can i request a role reversal fic?

reader marks up joel and is unashamed about it

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

a/n: thank you love, hope you'll like this although its been so long you probably forgot about this. and if you're interested, this is the fic they were referring to

It was just you and Ellie in the kitchen this morning. You were laughing about another funny dream she had last night, this one involving Joel trying to tame a gigantic sheep so he could ride it or something, she didn't quite remember the purpose, not that it mattered.

But as you both quite literally felt on the verge of tears from the image the dream was painting in your minds, the main character of said dream, appeared in the doorway, throwing you both a dirty look as if watching two of the three people he loved the most in this entire world didn't fill his old heart with pure joy.

"It's too early to be this chipper" he grumbled, walking to you to leave a quick kiss on your cheek as he reached for the coffee pot behind you.

A gasp sounded from the other sound of the counter

"oh my god what happened to your neck?!" 

And it was then, that Joel Miller, the unafraid, stone-cold killer of a man that he was, turned red from hairline to neck.

"O-Oh fuck I-" His eyes widened, his hand going to cover your work on his neck, but it was all useless, because the second Ellie's eyes landed on the smirk plastered on your face, she knew.

"oh my god ew" she groaned, rolling her eyes, her focus going back to the eggs on her plate.

"You remember Janine, that woman I told you about?" you explained, talking to her

She laughed at that, remembering your conversation about that woman who's always flirting with Joel.

"you filled Joel's neck with hickeys because of her?"

Joel wasn't even red anymore, he was turning purple, his eyes were wider than a deer's caught in the headlights, and you suspected he hadn't taken a breath since he first entered the kitchen.

"this..." you smiled, trailing your fingers on Joel's neck "is my own little way of telling her to keep her hands off my man"

Joel choked, he literally choked on his own saliva and just then, just when he was about to have a heart attack, Tommy entered the house, his eyes immediately going to the image before him with more than a little amusement.

"What have I walked into?" he grinned, walking over to the kitchen "And why does my brother look a breath away from exploding?" he laughed, his hands gesturing to Joel.

"y/n here was giving me way too much information that I certainly didn't want to know" Ellie explained, looking at you pointedly for the last part of her sentence, making you chuckle.

"About what?" Tommy asked

"About the work of art I left on your brother's neck"

"wha-Ohhh" he breathed, smiling like a smug bastard as he understood what you were talking about "Janine tried something again I presume?" 

"You presume right" you smiled, giving Joel a little kiss on the cheek and stifling a smile at how terrified he seemed "for the last time"

"You ok baby?" you asked, stroking his cheek

His gaze was on Ellie, his mouth parted in shock.

"You still with us man?" she asked, giggling softly, making him shake his head to try and get his mind to start working again.

And then, then the words came tumbling off his tongue, filled with what sounded like pure panic

"S-since when do you know what a hickey is!?"

Everyone in the room except him laughed, but when the shock on his features persisted, and Ellie regained her composure, she answered.

"I'm not a kid Joel, I know what sex is"

Another pang to his poor heart, 

he felt all the organs inside him twist into a knot

what the fuck was happening?

Did she just say-

"sex!?" he cried, looking a second away from having a mental breakdown "I-I never said sex- H-how do you even know- I- You- You're too young- I-I"

"ok ok ok" you tried your best not to chuckle, intervening before his heart really decided to stop "How 'bout we go outside for a moment huh? Take a few deep breaths? How about that?" you murmured, soothingly drawing circles on his back 

He looked at you then, looking every bit as disheveled as he sounded 

"y-yeah" he swallowed thickly, "I-I think that's a good idea"

He looked back at Ellie for a moment to make sure this wasn't a nightmare and he didn't just make that up, before you both left the room.

And as if on cue, the second you did, Tommy and Ellie started laughing like maniacs.

"I don't think I've ever seen him so scared" Ellie laughed, as Tommy sat next to her, patting her back

"Neither have I" he chuckled, none of them saying anything before an idea came to his mind.

a hell of a funny one

"ten bucks if you tell him you know what porn is"

[luffyvace]

helooo can i request saiki x reader bf texts please? thank you so much !! anything is fine honestly as long as its saiki content i miss him 😭😭😭😭

ooooou I haven’t got a request like this yet and it seems very fun!! No problem hun <3

IKR after you finish the anime it feels like such limited content is left for the saiki k fandom!! 😭😭

💓💗 Saiki and his boyfriend~ 💗💓

“Wanna go get some coffee jelly”

“This is oddly specific but can you tell the magician outside to leave please?”

”can you keep aiura and torisuka distracted so I can leave school?”

”thanks I’ll pay you back in (favorite thing)”

”let’s meet at the arcade”

”I’m annoyed my mom is forcing me to go outside but I know I’m gonna run into kaido”

”please come with me to make this more bearable”

”don’t forget to study for that test”

convos :3

”how do I make friends with that average guy from the other class without seeming weird”

”Kusuo idk just go up to him and talk to him 😭”

”yeah but if I don’t have something to talk about it’ll be awkward and my likeability meter will go down”

”can you figure out his interests for me so I can talk to him?”

”what? YOU do it 🤦”

”no i can’t the nuisances will find me”

convo 2 ;P

“Do you wanna come shopping with me?”

”your not gonna invite the nuisances too are you?”

”no kusuo 😭”

”oh okay well no”

“I'm NOT!”

“I know but nuisance number 4 just showed up”

”at your house?”

”no at the mall”

”ohh well fine 🤦”

convo 3

”can I borrow your bike nendo broke mine”

”HOW?”

”idk he sat on it”

”WHAT LOLL”

”I need it so I don’t have to go shopping with my dad”

”why is that so bad?? 😭”

”because he starts begging for things at the store”

”??”

“Isn’t he a grown man?”

”yeah I know that’s why I need to borrow your bike”

”sure babe..😭🤦”

convo 4

”my mom wants you to come over for dinner”

”oh alright!”

”no”

“??”

”say your sick”

”kuu why? 😭😭”

”can’t I come over??”

”no my parents are embarrassing”

”LOL”

”but I’ve come over plenty of times before tho”

”I know but, please just don’t come over”

”what’s happening??”

”fine. My dad wants to play a prank on someone because when he try to scare me it didn’t work. So I need you to come over and pretend to be scared so my mom doesn’t kill me”

”what?? So now I’m supposed to come over?”

”let’s just get it over with”

”you go through so much I swear 😭💗”

convo 5

”when you come over and my mom asks if you wanna meet my brother say no”

”whaaat but I kinda wanna meet him”

”say no”

”for both of our sakes”

”if you don’t go I won’t have to either”

”fine 😒”

convo 6

”goodnight kuu”

”goodnight m/n”

convo 7

“I hear nuisance number 4 isn’t showing up to school today”

”no she isn’t”

”rejoice. God is real.”

”KUSUO 😭😭”

convo 8

“your driving home today right? Can I hitch a ride? Nuisance number 1 is here”

”wait which nuisance is that again?”

”how can you forget? It’s the second most terrible one. Nuisance 1 is nendo”

”OHH YEAHH”

”hurry he’s coming”

”YEAH MEET ME AT THE CAR LOL”

convo 9

”come with me to nuisance number 2’s house so I don’t have to go alone”

”kaido right? he’s not so bad right? I can’t I have homework”

”no he’s just really weird and cringe and awkward”

“I’ll wait”

”okay 😭”

convo 10

“can I come over and we can watch that show you recommended me?”

”yeah sure any time kuu”

”you really don’t have to ask, I could get you a spare key if you want”

”yes an emergency escape route in case of nuisance surprises”

”WOW OK”

”and you ig”

convo 11

”that was sweet. what you did for them”

“Yeah I guess they’re not so bad for now”

”for now Kusuo?”

”you sound like my mom”

”actually, that’s not an insult I love your mom”

”I know”

”WYM 😭”

”you hug her more than I do”

”well that proves smth 🤨🤨”

”eh. I’ll get her a gift”

”good cuz she’s awesome 😙”

convo 12

“let’s finish playing that game you have”

”NO”

”WHY IT WAS SO FUNNY”

”you have never even played it he’s so annoying”

”LOLL YOU DIDNT HAVE TO TELL HIM TO DIE THO”

”you wouldn’t even think it’s funny if I hadn’t have told you”

”come on at least least me see the chapter you said you hated”

”you just wanna see me suffer”

”If I did I wouldn’t have distracted hairo for you earlier”

”FINE”

”LOL YIPPIE I’m coming over as soon as I’m done with my homework 🙂”

”😒”

convo 13

“How do I transfer to class 2”

”you just wanna be with satou don’t you”

”you don’t know how?”

”no kuu, I don’t 🤦”

convo 14

“I have to go visit my grandparents and my granddad is really awkward come with me”

“I’D LOVE TO MEET THEM”

”why do you love my family so much?”

”they’re strange”

”I love YOU 😒”

”are you calling me weird”

”in what way are you normal mister magic powers with weird friends and family who also has to stop a volcano from erupting yearly”

”those are just ordinary daily tasks”

”now your coming right?”

”I should leave you”

”you wish you were normal so bad”

”when are we going”

”on second thought you can stay here”

”STOP BEING SALTY IM COMING”

”NOW TELL ME WHEN”

convo 15

”let’s reschedule the coffee jelly date for Sunday”

”it’s too chaotic”

”it’s Friday”

”I know I’m dreading the weekend”

”my poor kuu 😭”

”stop”

”you sound like my mom again”

*read* 1:39pm

LOL I LOVE CONVO 10-15 😊😈 (it got more chaotic as it went on- 😭)

muahahahahhaha hope you enjoyed! these were quite fun :3

[armageddon-generation]

The Bear Season 3 is a bridge season that feels weird on purpose, but also has some big problems: A review/ramble

Season 3 is clearly a bridge season, and suffers from having been written & shot alongside season 4. As a result, unlike the seasons 1 & 2, it doesn’t feel like a distinctive or complete chapter of the restaurant’s life. Just half of one.

This is partly because there’s no ‘end-goal’ like in S2, or clear progression/visible improvement to the restaraunt like in S1. Season 3 is about stagnation. Most of its storylines are left unresolved- the review, Sydney’s job offer, Tiff & Frank’s wedding, Marcus being inspired by his mother’s death, Tina and the dying farmer’s market, Carmy’s conflicts with both Claire and Ritchie. All these threads will roll into Season 4, and Season 3 suffers from that.

PACING, FLASHBACKS AND TONE: FORM REFLECTING FUNCTION

HOWEVER. This being a ‘bridge’, character-focused season isn’t inherently bad. Individual episodes of The Bear still tear when they want to. Episodes 1, 2, & 3 are a very strong setup for the season and establish good momentum. Episodes 6 & 8 are fantastic character pieces, and 8 in particular made me bawl. Even the finale, though bogged down by masturbatory celebrity chef cameos, was a strong episode.

The problem is all the stuff in-between. The actual day-to-day running of the restaurant feels hollow and empty now. There’s a distance between the characters and it feels like they don’t interact as a group anywhere near as much.

Part of this is absolutely deliberate. People joke about S3 'method acting' its way into bad reviews to reflect the restaraunt, but losing steam and the connections between characters is genuinely a formal reflection of the kitchen crew's moods, as the day-to-day grind of running the restaurant wears them down.

The use of flashbacks in 3x1 is excellent, but Season 3 quickly becomes way over-reliant on them (episode 9 especially, oh my god). Again, this feels like a conscious choice to reflect Carmy’s state of inertia/the fact he’s perpetually trapped in the past. It makes sense, but that doesn’t give the show a pass for being boring, and 3x9 was the first time I’ve ever felt genuinely bored by this show.  

FUCK THE FAKS & NEGLECTING POC CHARACTERS

My other problems are much more clearly the fault of the show; I do not give a flying fuck about the Faks. Neil is cute in small doses. The brothers are great as soundboards for other characters; Theo getting Sweeps to talk about his backstory in baseball, the brothers comforting Donna at the end of 3x8 Ice Chips, or the haunting argument finally forcing Carmy to talk about Claire.

But on their own? When they’re just bouncing off each-other? These guys aren't half as funny as the show seems to think they are. And their scenes drag on so long. For example, the B-plot of 3x5 Computer wastes half of an otherwise strong episode with pointless fucking around, propped up by a pointless celebrity cameo. I do not Give. A. Fuck about haunting, Mr. Cena, why the fuck are you here.

The aggravating time-wasting is made worse by The Bear continuing to neglect and underuse its POC characters. This is the second season in a row where I’ve felt Syd only got the bullet-points of an arc. She is the LEADING LADY. Ayo is now the show’s biggest breakout star. USE HER.

I really enjoyed Tina's focus episode, but unlike Forks and Honeydew last season it doesn't move the plot forward, and unlike Fishes the flashbacks don't contextualize Tina''s actions in the present because she's barely doing anything in the present, despite the show setting up her struggles in the kitchen early in the season.

Meanwhile, Ebra got crumbs again and Sweeps got a single scene, which is tragically at least better than he had last year.

Marcus’ arc this year is a fascinating microcosm for the show’s themes, but it barely gets a second to breathe because we have to cram in another five minutes of the Fak brothers arguing about that time Neil got taped into a cardboard box. It’s ridiculous. And then they showcase Nat being all protective of Marcus in an episode he’s barely in, when she barely interacts with him. It feels unearned & disingenuous, using Marcus as a prop for a Hell Yeah gotcha moment.

I liked Josh Harnett though, that casting had purpose, and both Chef Terry and Luca were used excellently.

CAMEOS

The surprise celebrity cameos this year felt distracting and indulgent in a way last year’s didn’t. In Fishes the slew of cameos were a dramatic tool meant to disorient the viewer. This year, John Cena is here to distract you from how pointless this B-plot is, and we've brought in a bunch of famous chefs to tell you direct-to-camera why cooking and the service industry are so important.

The chefs in particular are bizzare after season 1 spent most of its time telling us how evil and toxic the fine dining industry is. But now it's actually just the fault of a few bad apples, and these guys are really rad actually?

CLAIRE

Much has been said about how Claire was an underwritten archetype for Carmy to project onto. Now, I don’t much give a fuck about shipping in this show, but it’s clear Claire & Carmy’s romance didn’t connect with most people. It felt hollow. At the time, I thought this was deliberate, like the tone and flashbacks this season; Claire’s writing reflected Carmy’s perception of her as a saintlike childhood daydream who could deliver him from all the stresses of his life.

But this season, not only does the show refuse to let Claire go, it doubles down on objectifying her as a prop for Carmy’s self-loathing, trapped in his memory.

Again, this might work thematically if I knew Claire as a person, or was at all invested in their romance, but I don't and I’m not. As it stands, the multiple extended flashbacks with Claire feel like futile attempts to plug the holes in Season 2's weakest storyline, and drag their episodes down. If we’re supposed to root for Carmy to find happiness outside the kitchen, this is having the opposite effect, and it’s made worse by it all being left unresolved by the finale.

Either do something with this character or move on, because right now every time Claire appears I clock out emotionally, and that’s not her fault, it’s the way the show treats her.

CARMY THE ASSHOLE

All this contributes to an overriding problem that I again think is deliberate, but risky; Carmy isn’t likeable this season. He causes his conflicts with Ritchie and Syd, to whom he has passed down his generational trauma. Carmy's menu is the biggest thing dragging the Bear into bankruptcy. Carmy has stopped working to resolve his familial trauma like in seasons 1 & 2, just as Nat starts making headway. He functionally doesn’t exist outside the kitchen, entirely preoccupied with the past & a girl the audience doesn’t care about.

Unlike previous seasons, the few times Carmy is called out for his bad behaviour he doesn’t make much effort to listen or improve. Again, I get that this is the point. Carmy is on a low, self-destructive ebb, and hopefully when things start resolving in season 4 he’ll snap out of it. But him dragging the show down with him has consequences.

EPISODE COUNT & FINAL THOUGHTS

A lot of people are saying that S3 only had enough plot for 2-3 episodes, and while I think that’s disingenuous- The Bear has always been a character-focused, vibes-first show- I do think it should've returned to the 8-episode count of season 1. You can consolidate the same amount of ‘plot development’ into fewer episodes while maintaining the deliberate sense of inertia. Cut back on the Faks and flashbacks to give more time to the kitchen crew, and many of the complaints would disappear.

Anyway, all this to say that The Bear season 3 is not Bad like some are saying, but it is a step down from its first two seasons. It feels like it’s got lost in its own head and lost a part of itself along the way, and while a lot of that is deliberate- formally reflecting Carmy’s internal conflict- it exacerbates existing problems (underwritten POC, Claire) and creates several new ones (celeb cameos, overusing flashbacks, unresolved plotlines) previous seasons were able to sidestep.

[pigfacedbitch]

Dating Hort of Bloodbrook

summary : general headcanons of dating Hort while being the princess of Camelot.

word count : 0.7k

type : headcanons

pairing/s involved : Hort x Reader, Sibling! Tedros x Reader

warning/s : discrimination against Nevers and Evers.

here is my masterlist!

Note : I know this is late but this has been on my unfinished works since the movie came out. I fell in love with Hort, he is so cute and loyal to Sophie 🥹. I haven't read the books but I might soon when I need to escape reality again.

You will likely be a year younger than Tedros.

Because of the heir and the spare™.

I know it sounds bad but some rulers actually do those.

Tedros is extremely overprotective over you, especially when Queen Guinevere ran away with Lancelot and King Arthur died.

He's like the typical older brother you see in movies; handsome, buff, (kind off) a meathead, and annoys you to know end.

Will also be the first one to come to your defense.

When you got to the School of Good, you were determined to destroy the image of being Tedros' little sister.

Which results to you preferring to be a hero in your own story than being a queen in someone else's.

As expected, you quickly became friends with Agatha.

Not afraid to stand up to those who think girls are inferior to boys.

While the other Evers found the Nevers horrible for being future villains, you have a neutral perspective towards them.

After all, the School of Good has many stuck up and vain students.

Meeting Hort was definitely a memory to remember. It was when Professor Dovey took the first years to the Wish Fish (Let's pretend Agatha didn't free them).

When you put your hand on the water and begin to think of a wish, you didn't feel the water swirling like Agatha told you she experienced,

Instead, it was hand that intertwines its finger with yours.

And it harshly pulled you down the water.

The girls' screams and the professor calling out your name in panic caught the boys and Tedros' attention, running to the 'rescue'.

Under the water, you see someone smiling at you, or at least that's what you hopes he's doing.

A Never named Hort, son of Captain Hook.

Tedros immediately pulled you out of the water, with Hort in tow.

The angry professor commands the nearby guards to bring him back to the School of Evil and how Lady Lesso will surely punish him.

"It seems like I'm your wish, my lady."

He expects you to be disgusted like the other Evers. To his surprise, you give him the sweetest smile he has ever seen in his life.

"That you are, Hort of Bloodbrook."

To say Hort is surprised was an understatement.

You didn't only smile at him but also knew his name.

Cupid's arrow struck him at that moment. His villainous smirk drops, staring at you with wide eyes as much as he could before they were out of sight.

Tedros, who saw the whole thing, was not pleased and gave you a warning on how Nevers can't be trusted.

After your encounter, Hort seeks you out more.

You didn't mind, he is an odd yet funny companion.

He also doesn't care for one's physical appearance like the girls do or how you're nothing but a pretty face with a royal title like most guys think.

He encourages you to be yourself, like Agatha does.

You two would get judgmental looks from both sides.

Sophie was pissed, not only because Hort was losing interest in her but being the princess of Camelot is everything she wants to be.

So is Tedros. And everyone else who sees you together.

Agatha is just worried and would remind you to keep your guard up.

But you enjoy each other's company, that's what matters.

Hort was in love with you the moment you met but it took you a longer time to realize your feelings for him.

You only told Agatha about it but Tedros overheard.

Believe me when I say that Tedros will demand you to be examined.

"She's not under any spells, my prince."

"Are you certain?"

"Oh my God, I love Hort and there's nothing you can do about it!"

Everyone in the hall heard you.

Silence before a giddy howl ensues.

Hort runs to you and gives the biggest hug you could ever receive.

Despite being initially embarrassed, you returned it.

Before he could kiss you like he always dreamed of, Tedros stops him.

He pulls out Excalibur and points its tip on Hort's neck. Your brother will mercilessly give the poor boy threats if he broke your heart or hurt you in any way. Agatha joined in without words, just sending a warning glare on his way.

Hort would be lowkey terrified but so happy at the same time.

I mean you love him back. He could take a fucking army if you command him to.

Lady Lesso and Professor Dovey would only look at each other in disbelief, worried for what happens next.

[proxablemente]

the way the people who hate what the writers have done to alicent are being called butthurt by other fans is so funny. let's not even talk about what they've done to rhaenyra, i mean the whole point of the show has been trashed this way.

this "feminist" show has repetedly tried to make its female characters the most simpathetic they could, at the cost of butchering these characters and trash their motives, because a complex angry woman CANNOT be liked. oh and while alicent gets an "humbling" arc, blood-thirsty abusive men are getting a REDEMPTION arc! and are never expected to apologize for their crimes (like beheading a child, killing innocents, gr00ming), while alicent has to be humiliated for...being bitter and resentful??

with rhaenyra they're taking the dragon jesus lane, so i guess she might get brutal?? but who knows, they've made her so sensible all season because god forbid she actually wants war😝. women are peaceful! women cannot do war! alicent is no good for regent 'cause WOMAN 'cause EMOTIONAL. rhaenyra is always undermined at the council 'cause WOMAN 'cause REASONABLE.

the only people i'm seeing enjoying this sh1t leaked finale are rhaenicents and indifferents.

i want you to understand that just because rhaenyra and alicent are in the same room it does not mean the writing is good, making alicent oh so stupid! silly alicent keeps humiliating herself, she doesn't know better! is a disgusting character assassination. alicent has become NOTHING: they absolutley could have given her a deeper realization arc, but that was definitively not supposed to happen now nor the AWFUL way they wrote it. they made alicent AN IDIOT. she just knows how to cause herself humiliation, and if you're okay with this as long as rhaenicent happens you clearly don't give a damn about what those sh1t ass writers are doing to my girl.

the writing is BAD. oh SO BAD. it's BAD BAD BAD. please see it!! it's fanfiction level!

and rhaenicent has literally been butchered as well, since the very start of the season! i myself enjoyed rhaenicent prior to season 2, but it just sucks now. they've made alicent a little lost puppy that seeks rhaenyra's approval. last season rhaenicent for them was a memory of better times, when alicent was naive and free of the feeling of fear and remorse that haunts her, and rhaenyra was free of responsabilities and consequences, of the weight of the crown that she will one day wear: it was a pure relationship where they could just be happy with eachother, when none of their lives had been ruined. thinking about it made them nostalgic in s1's later episodes.

now rhaenyra is as stiff as a board with alicent and talks to her coldly, while alicent is mostly listening to her with puppy eyes?? this is what you like???

i am mainly an alicole (and seen the spoilers it looks like it has been butchered too so... bye bye to them too i guess) but even if criston and alicent didn't happen it wouldn't have changed much for me. i have always been interested in ALICENT THE CHARACTER first of all, not her relationship with her children or criston or rhaenyra. what pissed me off about the finale is not what she did to her children, but the fact that it was A STUPID DECISION. THE WRITING AND THE WRITING CHOICES SUCK. THEY SUCK ADMIT IT STOP DEFENDING EVERYTHING THEY CHOOSE TO DO. and it was probably made to be a stupid decision just to make alicent look even more stupid so😂whatever. i'm saying this because a lot of people on twitter are now saying "now they see you alicels as you are, you only care about her because of her relationship with her children :D" MY BROTHER IN CHRIST I DON'T I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THEM. plus these are the same people that threw tantrums and unstanned her when the alicole scenes leaked 🙃. THEY are true alicels.

people need to stop consuming material for the sole sake of shipping. if you're in it for that, at least have the decency to care about both the components of the ship separately PLEASE.

man i just hate this season, i needed to get this off my chest.

(i also tried really badly to like everything they've done up until now, so if i'm just exploding now there is a reason)

[abbysdruidess]

˜”°•.˜”°• headcanons about you and abby's wedding - modern au •°”˜.•°”˜

wc: 1.1k

warnings: wedding w modern au(obvs), crying, tooth rotting fluff, allusions to sex, no use of y/n

a/n: lmk what you guys think of this one and whether you'd like more of reader and Abby in this universe! don't hesitate to send any requests<33

this is sort of on theme with a previous fic where abby proposes to you, this one can be read as a standalone though:))

❦ after the proposal, you guys hurrying too much to get the wedding off the road and on the rails- you're still extremely proud and giddy to call each other your fianceé, and you've sent about 100 pictures of your wedding ring to everyone.

❦ it isn't until one night where you're having dinner over at jerry's that he brings up the wedding preparations and you're like oh shit, you two kinda need to haul ass and start sending invites.

❦ you decided on a small affair, only your immediate families and close friends over. I imagine that in the insistence of your future brother in law Lev you sent out RSVP invitations that were ocean themed with cute little sharkies on the front that say in a vast ocean of people we found each other(💀). A lot of people found them pretty funny though, and Lev was pretty excited about them.

❦ on par with the beach theme of your engagement, you decided to have the wedding on a beautiful beach resort in the beginning of June-not too hot, not too cold;)-with the ceremony and the reception on the shore.

❦ of course, you couldn't leave out the bachelorette party! You and Abby travel to Vegas with your respective friend groups for a weekend of clubbing and partying in general. And lets be fr, someone from either of two groups ends up getting lost and you have to recover him Hangover style. Thank God you didn't arrange for it the day before the wedding.

❦ the days before the upcoming event are mostly a blur, both of you making last minute arrangements about the food, the flowers, the music. Your gown with the final adjustments is delivered and you have to hide it in a fridge box in the basement so Abby won't take a peek.

❦ "But baaabe, I just wanna see what it looks like! You know this stuff about bad luck isn't actually legit." "I know, but it will be more exciting to see the final look at the wedding. I promise you."

❦ finally the big day is here! And let me just say, as a very emotionally constipated person, you'd probably be a little teary eyed all day long. When you put on your gown and look at yourself in the mirror and realise that holy shit, I'm about to marry the love of my life, my Abigail, she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. And this just hits you all at once and a few tears run down your chin.

❦ if you have any wedding traditions from your culture that you'd like to honour, Abby would be 100% down for it. It makes her feel closer to you, and part of the new family she's going to be in. She also really likes listening to its origins and what it's supposed to represent. In my country, we do this thing where the wedding squad writes all their names down in the couples' shoes and by the end of the night whoever's name is the most smudged is the one who's going to get married first. Let's be real, if they did this, it'd probably Manny whose name had almost disappeared and he'd freak the fuck out.

❦ once you're ready to walk down the aisle, and you glance at Abby you let out a small ᵍᵃˢᵖ at the sight, with Abby dressed to the nines and a glowing expression on her beautiful face. Her mouth also formed a little O at the sight of you, ready to become her wife, looking so so happy and a slightly teary eyed.

❦ during the actual ceremony, you two keep stealing glances at each other, smiling kinda goofily like :]. You two are goobers fr.

❦ for the vows, I think the game establishes that Abby is a big bookworm, so she chooses something perhaps from Emily Bronte or Jane Austen. Of course this isn't the entirety of what she wrote, she just finds it more accurate to express her love for you through someone's else perfectly adept words.

❦ once the reception kicks in, you're carefully wiping tears from your eyes so you don't smudge your makeup, and take some photos with the wedding party on the beach. You're accepting everyone's congratulations for your newlywed status, and settling down to prepare for your first dance.

❦ you had decided on dancing to Por Una Gabeza, and had actually rehearsed the slow tango a couple times so your movements are synchronised. By the end of the dance, you're in each other's arms, cheek to cheek simply enjoying the moment.

❦ by the time you've finished you meal, the party is in full swing, and you join in for a few dances until you decide on a cake break and allow Yara to be Abby's dancing partner. By the way, your wedding cake? Exquisite, chocolate ice cream with strawberry.

❦ I also imagine you guys doing the whole tossing the bouquet thing and -surprise surprise!-it ends up on Manny's lap on accident. He almost leaves.

❦ by the night, you're both clinging to each other, ready to resume your lives as Mrs and Mrs, and also ready to break into the bridal bed. Seriously, you can feel Abby's fingers feeling up your thigh and she's been whispering the things she wants to do to you all night. By 2 in the morning you're home, very much exhausted by the preparations and the emotional high, but also very ready to let Abby peak what's under your bridal gown.

❦ for wedding gifts to each other? She hands you two tickets for some exotic island you guys always talked about going, and make it your honeymoon. You get her an antique vinyl record player, because she had always been going about getting something to listen music to while cooking. Needless to say you both love each other's gifts:D

❦ a week or so after the ceremony you receive the photographs, and Abby makes it her duty to hand them on every corner of the house. Seriously, at some point, you could see a photo of you two in your field of vision pretty much about everywhere.

❦ her favourite one remains in her desk, one where you two are about to leave, sweaty and drunk, the camera capturing your musky faces as you sit on her lap clinging for dear life. It's so sweet and endearing, and it reminds her why she married you in the first place.

[babalonthegreat]

“Sis? What-what’re you doing?”

You knew she wasn’t asleep. When she’s awake he’s so much stiffer, like she’s waiting for something to happen. Asleep she seems much more at peace. You’re not sure which suits her better.

“Nothing, nothing. I just wanna cuddle. Shut up.”

The room is spinning slightly and it feels like there’s a candle burning inside your skull and you were just stumbling and trying to step over the mess that wasn’t on the floor of the (remarkably clean) room. You’re drunk and in your little brother’s bed. Well, brother is what you consider her; she thinks she’s a girl and you humor her because it’s funny and adorable in a pathetic kinda way, but you know the truth. 

You snuggle up against her, chest against her back, and wrap your arms around her. Her skinny legs are just barely curled up towards her chest and stacked on top of one another. One of your hands slides over them, petting her over the fuzzy pajama pants she’s wearing. It lingers, fingers tapping on her calves, before heading back to its position on her waist and even higher. Slipping your hand beneath her shirt and resting it on her belly, you test the waters. She squirms and whines with her stupidly high pitched voice. Annoyingly, a point in her favor on the girl thing.

“Shhh, shhh,” you shift your whole body so your mouth is right above her ear. “I’m just cold. I just wanna warm my hands up. God, you’re so soft, baby.”

It feels like hours go by; you try as hard as you can to do it slowly, moving your hand up her chest. You stop at where her tits would be. A point in your favor. You grope regardless and are met with more bitching.

“What’re you doing? I just wanna sleep.”

“Shut up, oh my god. I already told you I’m not doing anything. I won’t be long, you’ll barely feel it.”

You stay like that for a minute, hand cupped hard over her chest, until she stops his squirming. Then, you go back down, letting your hand find its way into her pants. You stick your thumb beneath the hem of her underwear. I’ve wanted this for soooo long, you think to yourself.

“Huh?”

Or you said it outloud. Oops. You slowly get each finger under both layers and your little brother squirms more and more with each one. Her thighs are so smooth and warm. You feel around for a bit until…

“Sis, what-what-what-stop!” She writhes and complains but you don’t care. She probably wanted this just as much as you did. “What are you doing? This isn’t right.”

“Shhh, shhh, shut up, it’s okay.” She’s already hard - she was before you even started to touch her - but it’s like she’s barely there. “We're just cuddling, okay?” You start to stroke, slowly, savoring the feeling of her little body trying to get away. “Just enjoy it, baby, we’re just cuddling, okay?”

“But, you’re my-my sister, you-”

“That’s right, I’m your sister. You wanna be mine, right? Girls do stuff like this all the time, calm down.”

You start to speed up and her whiny voice gets louder and louder.

“Please, just-just stop, please. I don’t like this, it’s weird, please…”

“Oh my god, will you just fucking shut up? You’re such a loser,” you giggle as you pull your hand up to her face. “Spit on my hand”

“Wha-”

“Just fucking do it.”

“Why?”

“It’ll feel better, I promise, now just spit.” You ram your knee between her legs and, with a little yelp, she does as she’s told. You slam your saliva-coated palm into her face and rub it in, laughing into her ear as you do it. You pull it away, glistening streams of spit between your hand and her face. Her whines are replaced by quiet sniffles. Pathetic, honestly. Hand in front of her mouth, you tell her to do it again, but she’s too busy sobbing over nothing. You knew she was fragile, but this was truly pitiful. You’ve barely done anything. 

You take matters into your own hands and shove two of your fingers into her open mouth as far back as they can go, forcing a gag and covering your hand with slobber. Her sobs get louder and you can’t quite tell if it's annoying you or turning you on more; most things she does are like that. You start stroking her stupid little dick again with your newly-lubed hand, using even more pressure. You can tell she’s close; her hips are bucking into your hand, her crying is veering on moaning, her tiny body is squirming more than ever.

“It isn’t that hard to spit, you know,” you snarl. “I’ll show you, baby.” You do just that and spit on her dumb, adorable face. “I need to fuck you so bad. You have no idea. You’re all I can think about at work.” Her cock throbs, she squeals, her legs spasm, and your hand is now covered in her gross clear cum. You put your hand over her mouth and let her taste the mess she made.

“You’re fucking disgusting, baby. You just came to your own fucking sister. You’re such a little pervert. If you had friends I’d tell them all about this.”

[izunias-meme-hole]

Since you've been rebloging this clown like crazy, who are your favorite Jokers?

Oh no... how could I ever choose?

Anyway.

Number 10. Brave And The Bold - A Silver Age inspired Joker with the Golden Age design and genuine menace. A pretty good combo if you ask me!

Number 9. 1966/Caesar Romero - He's the most iconic of the purely campy Jokers, and honestly he's just fun. I know that's not a heavy reason to like this iteration of the character, but it's true.

Number 8. Gotham - The Valeska Twins share a spot, purely because Cameron Monaghan's performance as them was so great. First there was Jerome, who was originally supposed to be a one-off possible Joker, and remained that way throughout the entire show even as he became somewhat of a Proto-Joker that was simultaneously heinous and fun. Though near the end of the show's 4th season, Jerome dies, but his twin brother Jeremiah ends up getting infected with an insanity gas that his brother cooked up, turning Jeremiah into a Golden Age inspired Proto-Joker who slowly evolves into the clown that we're more familiar with.

Number 7. The Batman 2004 - This clown offers almost everything you'd want, but they're all packed within an extremely different exterior! His bare feet, dreads that resemble a jesters hat, Kevin Michael Richardson voicing him, and just how athletic and animalistic he is make this Joker unique, even if what he brings to the table is still pure fun mixed with genuine heinousness and a bat obsession.

Number 6. Arkhamverse - Despite having that shit final boss and his bad habit of constantly overshadowing other villains, Joker in these games is an absolute blast to see and hear. Doesn't matter that he's a big bad, a secondary antagonist, or just "flirting with Batsy", he's great. It also helps that both Mark Hamill and Troy Baker do a phenomenal job at bringing him to life.

Number 5. Golden Age - Ah, Original!Joker my beloved. A scary as shit cunning sociopath with a haunting grin, clownish exterior, and a nice purple suit who just came outta nowhere. Plain, simple, yet very effective at the time.

Number 4. Nolanverse/Heath Ledger - I swear to god Heath Ledger's take on Joker is the definition of "don't judge a book by its cover" because while he kinda spawned more cringeworthy and edgier Jokers (Lookin' at the New 52 & Leto), he also manages to distill the essence of the character perfectly. He's colorful yet subtle, funny yet terrifying, arrogant yet self-deprecating, brilliant yet insane, motivated to cause chaos yet feeling the need to justify that chaos to the rest of the world, hates Batman yet loves him, and he just simply exists.

Number 3. Batman 1989/Jack Nicholson - Perfect casting, perfect costume, feels like he leapt straight outta the comics and onto the big screen, and he has a near perfect origin. If only he wasn't responsible for the death of the Waynes. Still he's a phenomenal elseworlds Joker and an ICON.

Number 2. BTAS/DCAU - Forever the definitive Joker adaptation. Mark Hamill's voice was perfect for the clown, his designs are iconic, his origin being a perfect blend between "we know what he's about" and "we don't know shit," he's still funny yet terrifying, he's a chaotic artist, his toxic dynamic with Harley Quinn was perfect (which is funny since Quinn was invented FOR BTAS), his death and actual defeat were cathartic, and overall this was the Definitive Joker.

Number 1. Post-Crisis Comics - We got Joker's Five-Way Revenge, Laughing Fish, Dreadful Birthday Joker, The Killing Joke, and A Death In The Family out of this iteration of the character, all of which pretty much came to define The Joker in one way or another, for better or worse. Out of all of the reboots of DC's universe, Post-Crisis had the best Comic!Joker, and in all honestly just the best Joker in general.

[analogwriting]

Childhood Crush

Chapter 4: Copper

Killer x gn!reader

word count: 3.7k next

“Ah, I see they’ve upgraded to a scrapyard, hm?” You looked around, stepping over bodies. You assumed this was the first gang that your brother and his friends took care of. You examined them as you walked, noticing none of them were dead, just knocked out. Good. Sometimes your brother could get hot headed - you didn’t want him to kill anyone. Especially if this was just some kind of weird test of strength.

You noticed your brother and Killer on the ground in the middle of a clearing. Oh, this was most definitely a trap. However, you didn’t care as you rushed forward. “Tungsten! Killer!” You looked over the both of them, untying them and checking their vitals. Both of them were fine for the most part, just beat up real good.

“You shouldn’t…have come,” you heard Killer say. You rolled your eyes. “You should know by now I can’t just stand idly by.”

“He’s…right. They wanted to bring you here,” Eustass said, slowly sitting up. “Ah, don’t strain yourselves.” You sighed, looking at Heat and Wire. You handed them your bag. “You two work on patching them up for the time being, I’ll take care of everything else.”

“Having someone fight your battles again, Kid?” You heard a familiar voice. It was a couple octaves deeper since it had been a couple of years, but it was still recognizable. You felt your blood boil as you stood, gripping your bat tightly as you turned to glare at him.

Nathan and his friends all seemed much larger than before. Seemed everyone around you was growing while you seemed to stop doing so. You watched as Nathan walked over to you, easily towering you. Shit, he even seemed taller than your brother. Great. Awesome. This was gonna be fantastic.

“Long time, no see, y/n,” he said and you made a face. “Gross. I don’t like it when you say my name.” He just laughed, throwing his head back and making a spectacle of it. Your deadpan expression didn’t change. Was he always this annoying? You felt like he was more irritating than before. Maybe it was because you were in a sour mood.

Though, when it came to these things, you were always in a sour mood.

“You’re funny, you know that? I’ve waited for this moment a long time. You humiliated me last time and it seems that the gods have taken pity on me. Given me a chance for revenge by bringing you to me.” A smirk spread across his face and you just blinked.

“The gods did not bring me here. You beat up my brother and his friends more than likely knowing that’s how you’d be able to drag me out.” You twirled your bat in your hand and rested it on your shoulder as you looked up at him, absolutely bored of this conversation.

Nathan’s eye twitched. “You dare mock the gods?” A dark look spread across his face. “No wonder they brought you to me. You must be punished.”

You blinked. What the hell was he going on about? You shook your head, knowing there was no point in arguing with a madman. He was blind with revenge and you just needed to put him in his place again. Easy. 

From the corner of your eye, you noticed his cronies stepping closer to the two of you. You were currently running a million different plans through your mind. They were all much larger than you and had been fighting all these years. Sure, you sparred with the boys, but that was different. That wasn’t genuine fighting. They were all bigger too, but you could use that to your advantage. As long as you were quick enough on your feet…

You heard someone step from behind you, and you turned, swinging without hesitation. They stopped short, but you still clipped them in the jaw. They reeled back, holding it. “Fuck,” they grumbled and you gave a sheepish grin. “Don’t scare me like that.” Upon further inspection, you realized that it was the Nathan guy’s brother. You remember him trying to make a big stink about whomever their father was.

Two different people lunged at you from opposite directions with swords and you felt your body move on its own and that familiar feel of excitement. One backflip later and you had dodged their attack. 

“Still as nimble as ever, I see,” Nathan commented from his position. He hadn’t moved from his spot, more than likely enjoying the show. 

You heard a cry, looking over to see one of the sword wielders lunging at you. You turned out of the way, ending up right next to them as you swung your bat at the same time. Unfortunately for them, they turned to move but caught your weapon to their face, sending them flying. You flinched. “Whoops,” you said, still lack of emotion on your face. You walked over to them noticing they were bleeding, but breathing. “Oh good.”

You didn’t come here to kill anyone.

“I’d get them to a doctor soon. They have a skull fracture and probably internal blee-”

“Yeah, because of you, you bastard,” you heard someone ground out. You looked over, ducking as they swung a two by four at you.

You stood back up only to have your feet knocked out from under you by another person. You crashed to the ground backwards, but were able to bring your bat up in time to stop the barrage of fists from connecting with you. 

They grabbed at your bat, trying to rip it away from you, but you held onto it. With a burst of strength, you pushed forward, pinning them to the ground this time. You let go of your bat, confusing them in the process. This gave you enough time to punch them square in the face without issue. Twice. Then you stood up, ripping your bat out of their hands as they covered their face and curled up in pain.

“Broken nose, fractured jaw. Probably a couple missing teeth,” you said. 

Two down, three to go. They might have all been bigger, but they didn’t seem to be all that much tougher. You heard a battle cry, once again coming from above. “This again?” You stepped out of the way, letting them land on the ground before bringing your bat down on their back and knocking the wind out of them. They moved their arm, swiping their sword at you as a last ditch attempt and you jumped back, swinging your weapon and knocking their sword from their hand. The clattering echoed in the scrapyard.

You heard a cry, but this one wasn’t a battle one. And it was your brother. You whipped around, seeing the Delmark brother holding your brother by the hair with a blade pressed to his neck. “Eustass!” You stepped towards him. “Ah, ah,” his captor said, pressing the blade further into his neck and drawing a bit of blood.

You stopped cold. “Bigs, don’t worry about me, I’m fine,” your brother ground out, but it was obvious that was a lie. They had already been pretty banged up, so they couldn’t fight back very well. 

“Drop your weapon if you want him to live.” With no hesitation, your weapon dropped to the ground, the sound of steel on the concrete echoing all around. Your mind raced with what you should do now. There were two left. The brothers. If you could just get the one off yours-

Then you felt something metal press against your head and the click of a barrel. A gun? Were they fucking serious right now? Bringing a gun to a gang fight was against the unspoken rules but…you guessed this wasn’t the normal gang fight. They didn’t plan on letting you live this whole time. Fuck.

Your own eyes were wide and so were Eustass’. “Bigs…” Even the other boys were staring at you, frozen. With their own leader being held at knife point and you with a gun against your head, they couldn’t do much without someone ending up dead. You had to think fast.

Then your brother started squirming. You saw as the blade dug further into his skin. “Eustass, stop!” You stepped forward, stopping as you felt the gun press further into your head as Nathan’s voice boomed. “You want me to kill them?” Eustass immediately froze, obviously not wanting you to be hurt in any way.

“That’s better. Be a good boy and sit there, this is between me and y/n.” 

His attention turned back to you. “Now, simple question. Whose life are we sparing? Your life or th-”

“Theirs.”

“Bigs!” You shot a glare at your brother and he just looked at you. It was filled with all kinds of emotion. Hurt, worry, sadness, anger, panic, just about all of them were going through his face right now. As well as the others. 

You looked at Eustass. “Do you trust me?” He blinked, but nodded. 

“What the hell do you think you’re gonna be able to do in your situation,” Nathan cackled. “There’s nothing you can do!”

You heard the gun click as he readied it once more and you ducked right before he pulled the trigger. The bullet missed you and flew right for Nathan’s own brother, hitting him between the eyes - killing him instantly. You heard the gun drop to the ground as well as Nathan dropping to his knees. “No…” 

You didn’t want there to be a death today, but you didn’t have a choice.

You stood up, picking up your bat in the process. “Maybe you shouldn’t play around with guns if you’re not prepared for the consequences,” you said, your voice hollow. You stood above Nathan as he looked at you. With one quick movement, you used the butt of your baseball bat, bringing it down on his head to strike him down.

You thought you could stop there, but the anger and rage was slowly consuming you and you wanted nothing more than this man to be dead. This was twice he had brought harm to your brother. The first time was just because your brother was hot headed, but this time was for some petty revenge for a children’s scuffle. You were all young back then but he had kept ahold of that? 

You held your bat over your head, ready to bring it down on his skull in one, killing blow. “This won’t happen again.” You brought your bat down, only for you to feel it be yanked out of your hands. You turned, swinging your fist on whomever was going to fuck with you this time only for them to catch your fist and spin you around to pin your arm against your back. “Fuckin-” You squirmed against them.

“Let go!”

You brought your head up to try to headbutt whomever it was, only to meet solid chest. Of course you weren’t tall enough. You tried to solidify your stance to try and throw them over you but they dropped to their knee, causing you to fall on your own ass, but still being restrained. You continued to struggle before a voice finally broke through all the blind rage.

“Y/n, please calm down.” Killer? You immediately stopped. You supposed that made sense. Whomever had a hold on you hadn’t tried harming you in any way. Wait, but wasn’t he injured? How the hell was he able to hold you down so well? Were you that tapped out without realizing it?

Now that you were calming down, all the energy was leaving your body. However, you knew that you needed to properly patch everyone up, so you couldn’t collapse now. “You can let me go now,” you said, feeling irritation settling in. He did, standing up and helping you do the same.

You dusted yourself off. “Why did you do that? He doesn’t deserve to live after all he’s done,” you grumbled, glaring at Nathan who was curled up on the ground. Whether or not he was conscious, you had no idea. You reached for your bat only for Killer to kick it away. You glared at him.

“What’s the fucking problem?” 

“You need to calm down,” he said, an expression on his face that you couldn’t quite read.

“I am calm!” 

“Clearly.” He folded his arms across his chest and you glared at him.

Your brother picked up your bat, looking at it before he looked at you. You held your hand out for it and he shook his head, stepping back with it. “Eu-”

“With that look in your eye that you had as you swung at Killer, I don’t think you would’ve stopped at Nathan.” You noticed him clench his jaw and worry seemed to outline his features.

“What are you going on about?” You groaned, putting your hands on your hips. You were beyond irritated now.

“You looked damn near ready to kill him.”

“Yeah with what he-”

“Not Nathan.” 

You stopped, blinking. Your brother looked at you. “I think if we hadn’t stopped you when we did, you would’ve taken all of us out. Even when you did see it was Killer that had taken the bat, you proceeded to swing anyway. The bloodthirsty look didn’t leave your eyes.” He clicked his tongue, placing your bat over his shoulder.

You looked between them before you scoffed, rolling your eyes. “You two are dramatic.” You turned on your heel to head out of the scrapyard. “I wouldn’t hurt you guys.” You placed your hands behind your head as you walked. “Let’s go, I need to patch you up.”

“Where the hell are you going?” You turned to look at Nathan on the ground. He looked at you, grief and anger in his eyes. “Finish me off.”

You knew he was going to be torn up over his brother. The merciful thing would be to end him now, but…

“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes,” you said, walking away. He needed to suffer to atone for what he’d done. He broke the rules for fighting and brought a gun. This was his own fault. He pulled the trigger without thinking of all the possibilities that could happen.

--

Back at home, you started patching everyone up properly. You were quiet for the most part, mulling over what had happened. Were you really that bad? Would you have harmed your brother and his friends had they not stepped in when they did? 

You pushed those thoughts away. There was no point in worrying right now. What’s done is done and you had a job to do. Your brother was in the worst condition out of everyone. He had a broken arm and a broken leg, so you set him up in bed before you started to patch him up. Your salve could heal up cuts and scrapes pretty quickly, but not broken bones.

Maybe that would be what you worked on next. Something to speed up the process of healing bones.

Heat and Wire were pretty straight forward. They had cuts and scrapes, but nothing your medicine couldn’t heal up quickly. You also made a mental note to run to the store later. You still hadn’t been able to scale back the side effects for how hungry it made everyone. And with the five of you, you knew you’d be going through a lot of food the next week or so.

“Y/n.” You were brought back to reality as Killer sat in front of you. “Ya seem spaced out. You alright?” You looked at him and nodded, offering a small smile. “Yeah. Just thinking about what to get from the store later. We’re all going to be quite famished once the salve kicks in.”

Killer chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re too good to us.” You just scoffed, rolling your eyes as you looked him over. After your assessment, you came to the conclusion that he had a nasty gash in his head that needed to be stitched up and a sprained ankle. Nothing you couldn’t take care of quick.

“Now, I’m going to need to stitch up your head.” You moved to clip his hair out of the way so you had better access to the wound. “It’s gonna hurt, especially since it’s on your head.”

The man before you just scoffed and shrugged. “I’ll be fine. Nothing I can’t handle.” You prepared your things and looked at him from your peripherals. “Uh huh. You keep that spirit when you start raw dogging these stitches.” A small grin spread across your face and he chuckled.

You stood in between his legs so you could look over his head better. “We’re gonna have to get real close and personal here,” you mumbled, trying to still your racing heart. You could feel your down face warming up, but you knew he wouldn’t be able to see you since he had to keep looking down so you could see what you were doing.

“Fine by me.” You heard him say. You took a deep breath. “Here we go…”

The moment you pierced his skin, he hissed in pain. His hands found their way to your hips and gripped them tightly. Your body immediately reacted, heating up and your eyes widened in surprise. You bit back any kind of noise that was currently trying to escape your mouth. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You cleared your throat, trying so fucking hard to concentrate on your task at hand. It was damn near impossible because every time he let up, he’d squeeze again when you had to pierce his skin once more. Why the fuck hadn’t you developed some kind of numbing cream yet? That was your next project, for sure.

Once finished, you took the clip out of his hair and he seemed to realize that his hands were on your hips. “Oh…uh…” You looked down at him as his face seemed to turn red. A fever? “So-” He pulled his hand away and you noticed blood.

“Where did that come from?” You looked at his hand, looking for some kind of cut when he pulled his hand away, pulling you closer. Your face went red. “Kill-”

“It’s coming from you.” He lifted your shirt partly and you looked down, noticing a big gash in your torso that went from your side over and down to the front of your hip, near your pelvis. “Oh, would you look at that…”

“It’s coming from here too,” he mumbled, holding up your arm, revealing another cut down the underside. “Huh…I didn’t even notice…”

Though, now that your adrenaline was finally dying down, fatigue was catching up to you and you felt yourself sway a bit. Just how much blood have you lost?

Killer quickly stood up, sitting you down instead. “What do I need to do?” he asked and you shook your head, grabbing your utensils. “‘S fine. I’ll do it,” you mumbled, feeling your head start to spin. You closed your eyes for a moment to regain your composure.

“Like hell you’re fine,” he mumbled, swatting your hands away from your equipment. You opened your eyes and frowned. “You all are really bad at stitches,” you whined softly. You were on a rapid decline.

“We don’t have a choice now, do we? Start instructing me before you pass out and then you’re really fucked.” 

You made a face and sighed. You moved to sit in the chair sideways, leaning on the back so that Killer had more access to the wound. “Holy shit,” he mumbled. “That bad, huh?” You snorted.

You heard fabric tearing and it seemed to sober you up momentarily. “What the fuck?” You looked down, noticing he had torn away parts of your shirt to access the wound better. 

He looked at you with a raised brow. “How else am I supposed to be able to see properly with all this fabric in the way?” You just rolled your eyes. He looked at you for a moment. “What?”

“I’m trying to think of the best way to position myself…” You blinked slowly before looking down. Yeah, it was at a weird angle. He knelt down next to the chair. “This’ll have to do,” he mumbled. You nodded, resting your elbow back on the table to try and keep your arm out of the way while Killer worked under your instruction.

After a few minutes of guiding Killer through it, he seemed to get it. While his stitches were uneven and not perfect, they weren’t that bad either. “Bigs, what the fuck?” You looked over, seeing your brother being supported by Heat as they entered the kitchen with Wire in tow. “The fuck are you doing out of bed?” you demanded.

He completely ignored you. “Did that happen during the fight?”

“No, I just did this right now for fun.” You rolled your eyes. 

“Why the hell didn’t you say anything?”

“Probably because I didn’t notice?” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “I swear, tungsten, don’t pick a-” Killer hit a particularly tender spot and you hissed, not having the most control of your movements as you suddenly grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged on it rather roughly. 

He let out a low groan in response, his own movements stopping. You were just lucky his injury had been on the other side of his head. “Are you okay?” you heard your brother ask. “The fuck do you think? I’m getting fucking stitches.” That’s when you noticed Killer’s hair still balled in your fist and you immediately let go.

“Shit, sorry,” you grumbled. He didn’t say anything as he took a moment before starting once more. You noticed his face growing more red. Maybe he had an infection? You made a mental note to check for a fever when he was done.

Once he finished up, he quickly excused himself. You assumed he might be salty at you for tugging on his hair. You had just patched up a wound on his head, probably hurt him. Shit. You sighed, shifting yourself to sit in the chair correctly. 

“How about we order pizza tonight?” Your brother’s face lit up along with the others’. “Fuck yeah.” You slowly stood up, heading towards the drawer to grab a menu.

There was no way in hell you were going to be able to cook tonight. 

[manwiththemagic]

spn s1 ep1 "pilot"

REWATCH TIMEEEE!!! I literally just finished the show but uh, I'm so hype I'm just going straight back in :9

So uhhhh, random things from me while I watch the episode because I'm bored, and stuck at my dads place 😔

Also whenever I'm mean to Dean and Sam ITS WITH LOVE!! not John though. Glad that MF is dead.

Crazy how John See's the blood next to Sam and doesn't immediately check for wounds.., or when the blood drops on him his neck doesn't immediately snap towards the ceiling. I get he doesn't know shit about the supernatural but like c'mon man.. (I'm allowed to be mean, it's John freaking Winchester. I hate him)

Love the picture on Sam's dresser being of his parents. I know it's mostly cinematography in like showing that this is Sam, but likeeeee idk. It's funny that deans all like "you abandoned us.(Me. IDC about you leaving dad, you left me. What the freak man!?)" But like, clearly Sam still loves them all?? Idk

AAAAAA HALLOWEEN MENTIONED!! crazy how for most of the show it's assumed he doesn't like Halloween because he hunts monsters, but no, it's because he threw up on some girl in 6th grade at a party😭

Deans first shown crime, breaking and entering.

Why didn't he just knock😭 it wouldn't have made a difference??? 💀💀

FIGHT‼️ FIGHT‼️

God they looked like such babies back thennnnnnnnuuuuhhhhh!!!

Dean already being kinda shady.

no seriously they look like babies..

“𝑖 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑟𝑓𝑠😏” okay lil bro chill out. That's your brothers girlfriend..

I forgot how pervy early seasons Dean was LMAO it's not funny..

Funny how Sam's all like "ermm.. no why would I leave with you in the middle of the night??" And tbh he is valid for that. It's probably wayyy to soon of their dad being missing for it to be Sam's problem, but Dean? Lil bro doesn't careeeeeee. I think he just was super anxious and like, we already know how co-dependent the lil shits are. Bro didn't wanna be alone.

“do you think mom would have wanted us to be raised this way?” OH YOU HAVE NOOOOO IDEA LIL BRO..

Also it's funny (after seeing s15) that he is getting kinda what he thought was an dramatic anxiety of his of Sam saying "no dude wtf?". Like Dean waited hours stalking Sam out because he was to scared to talk to him, and like... real? But he thought Sam would be more "I hate you KYS" when Sam in reality is just "let me live my life." and both are equally as bad to dean💀💀

“ "I can't do this alone." "Yea you can." "Well.. I don't want to." ”EXHIBIT A. him saying this after being mad at Sam like "YOU ran away" like bro.. your acting mad crazy girlfriend rn. Pushing and pulling. "I hate you sm you bitch GAHD. anyways... (*Twirls hair*) I missed you... Run away with me??" LIKE BRO.

Crazy how it's always said that Sam has the puppy dog eyes but like... Dean is literally puppy dog eyeing Sam to come back. And Sam falls for it.. dumbass.

Dean lil smirk when Sam asks a question. “Just like riding a bike, isn't it Sammy?” Dawg maybe use a better metaphor. When did you guys have time to ride bikes?? Also that reminds me of that one ep with Gabriel aka the trickster who put them in a sitcom. With the two seater bike? Anyways...

Dean back at his guilt tripping and gaslighting!! You go queen!! “You know.. I've never bothered you in almost two years..” right.... Cause that's so hard. (It definitely was. Lil bro is super clingy in early s1)

The way he immediately tells Sam to skip the interview. He basically says "Interview?? Uh? Who cares about a job?? We're about to go work a job?? Sure it doesn't pay, and it's dangerous, and you hate it—" like bro😭

Dead cheater with a squeaky ahh car.

Dean Winchester crime number 2, credit card scams, and pride him them. (Literally not shocked people peg him for a criminal mastermind. He legit is..)

sams first "it's Sam. Not Sammy" time!! I forgot he used to do that. Cause in the late seasons, like bro just gave up. Like Lucifer calls him Sammy, GOD calls him Sammy, but not as much. Mostly because he isn't *as* mocking as Lucy boy.

God do I love baby. First time watching it i didn't care about the car. My thoughts were "damn. Cool ass car. Anyways—" BUT NO. baby is so much more than that.

Deans third crime, impersonating an officer.

Ahh good ol fake id's. Sam looks SOOOOO anxious about it.. lil baby's first time lying 😔 LMAO JK but it probably is one of his first times doing this as an adult. Like he ran off at 18, Dean has 8 years of adult-lying-experience. Sam has none

AHH ONE OF MY FAVORITE LINES!! “you're awfully young to be federal Marshalls.” “why thanks, that's awfully kind of ya!” I loved deans lil accent ☹️. ESPECIALLY LATER ON IN JAIL OR WTV. “you son of a bitch, we don' swing that way!” I LOVE HIM.

my sons chat.

Why do the police believe them?? They pull up in the funkiest of outfits, baby faces, the most FAKE id's ever and people are just like. "Ahh yes... Marshalls!!" LIKE NO??

sassy Dean!! “well that's just the type of crap police work I'd expect out of you guys.” LIKE BRO.. I don't like the cops either but damn 😭

Sam's lil foot stomp💀💀

DEANS SMACK..

“why'd you do that??” “why'd you have to stomp on my foot? 😡” “why'd you have to talk to police that way??” LMAOOO also Dean def wanted to look cool Infront of sam. "Sam look how much of a cool bad boy I am😎" bc like Sam def thought teen "bad boy" Dean was superrrr cool, but like Dean doesn't know how to make Sam look up to him again 🦹

Seriously guys?? You? This random dead guys UNCLES?? YOU LOOK THE SAME AGE AS HIM. also Dean if your trying to pass your baby face brother as an adult man, maybe don't call him Sammy to the people your trying to convince??

AHH MORE IN SYNC TALKING!!! I love it when they do that.

Dean is so CLINGY. "heard she got murdered or smth idk. And they say she kills others blah blah blah case stuff—" and Dean just stares at Sam like "you hearing this?" OF COURSE HE IS. dawg he's right next to you chill out 😭

Gosh Dean is SUCH a meddler. He's bugging Sam talkin about "you think your gonna become a lawyer? Marry your girl" and Sam's obviously like "yes?? Duh" then Dean gets MAD like bro😭 bro is so mad Sam has a life, and I remember that from the future ep with Sam collage friends and the shifter. Dean just refuses to see Sam as an adult, and just drags him everywhere😭

Deans the definition of those like boy moms, but with sam. "Hiya sammy!! Is this your girlfriend..? She's uh.. awful and I hate her. HAH. demon bitch!!" like in s4/5 with ruby, he's not mad Sam is with a demon, he's mad Sam is "abandoning him" bc he has abandonment issues. Also he infantalizes Sam sm bc like he raised Sam, he still has the little kid Sammy version of Sam stuck in his head. And that's why he continues to lie to Sam for 15 FUCKING SEASONS. anyways..

Deans 10 baginllionth crime, breaking and entering (into his dad's abandoned motel room)

SO MANY ICONIC LINES!!! “no chick flick moments.” “pff. Alright, jerk.” “bitch.” I LOVE THEM.

finally daytime.. I mean don't get me wrong, I LOVE the dark grimey aesthetic of the early seasons but woooff finally I can see. Also I miss baby Sam's haircut. Like it was fire?? ALSO THE LEATHER JACKET?? YIPPE!! and the samulet!! Gosh I missed it.

Sam calling Jess!!! AUSGHSBS

Deans first time getting arrested in the series!! Crazy how it goes from this to being in worse than federal prison (a place that "legally/technically/on the books" doesn't exist) because of a assassination attempt on the president..

“fake U.S. Marshall, Fake credit cards. You got anything that real?” “uhh yeah. My boobs. :)” HES SO SASSY!!! I miss happy(ish) Dean!!

The police have such valid reason to question dean. Like bro strolls into town, fake id's, digging around, then you find him staying in a room with 10 missing persons all over, a bunch of "satanic mumbo jumbo" as the cop says it, and a level of sass so high a heroin junkie would O.D.

Dean (rightfully) pulling the "how is it me? The first guy went missing when I was 3, pal." And cops like "erm. I know your working with that old guy."

AH THE JOURNAL!! they treated that shit like it was the Bible in early seasons. Kinda fun. Also I bet this is where the cult idea started.. like in the FBI eps where everyone's like "yeah we know your dad was crazy, boy. That's why you—"

And honestly? I LIVE FOR THE FBI PLOT LINES!!

“so you had a happy marriage?” “.... definitely” OKAY BRO... RIGHTTTTT YEAH TOTALLY. lying lil bitch.

sam was really just yapping about the supernatural to anyone in early seasons... Like bro you ain't gotta tell this random man about women in white lore😭 same thing in the wendigo ep

Also Sam's puppy dog eyes!! “you tell me..🥺” (which reminds me of late season when chuck takes away their main character luck and Sam is like ‘so tell me, please🥺’ and the people are like 'puppy dog eyes? Are you fr? Does that always work for you?' LMAOO. But also I don't think Sam is realizing he's doing it. I think he just really had that kicked puppy look.)

Dean crimes yet again, breaking out of holding. Also “fake 911 call? Pretty illegal Sammy! :)” LIKE YOU CAN TALK. LMAOO I love how sassy he was.

fucking John and his dumbass orders with coordinates. Why was he even sending Sam in this goose chase? Why not just act like everything's normal to dean? He won't know what your doing, and Sam would still be in school.

oh great the fucking women in white. I HATE THAT BITCH!! I HATE THAT FUCKING BITCH!!/ref.

First time of many where Sam gets assaulted. no because why do the writers always have Sam get sexually assaulted.. ITS THE FIRST EP BRO.. and like later it happens with so many others, and demons, and old women, and LUCIFER. God he was the WORST.

Ghost? GONE!! who ya gonna call?

“you found her weak spot, nic work Sammy!” he's so proud of him omg. If it was late seasons Dean, and early seasons Sam you know Dean would be the type of dad ("big brother" stfu. Dad.) who would take cheesey selfies with an unwilling Sam, and post them on Facebook (bc old) and go "look at my sammy!! First hunt back and he's already killin'!! #proud" OR WTV

“wish I could say the same for you. What'd you think shooting Casper in the face, you freak?” LMAOOO

Deans so disappointed that Sam wants to go home LMAO. like yeah he told you from the start lil bro, but I can't blame you. 🤷

Dean is trying EVERYTHING to get Sam to stick around omg 😭 he's like a desperate ex, or a divorced dad trying to win his sons favor. “we made one hell of a team back there..” Jesus Christ Dean, pick yourself up dude. It's kinda sad😭

NOOOO JESSS!!! breaks my heart everytime.. she haunts the narrative :(.

Dean immediately busy in.. was he just waiting around? Like stop stalking your little brother man 😭 anyways glad he was there!! Saved Sam from burning up bc of Jess..

Gosh thats.. :(

Iconic trunk slam!! They use that shot a couple times in the end seasons to show how much time has passed. AND IT EATS EVERY TIME HEYOO!!

“we got work to do.” GAHHHHDD!! chills!! Literal chills! I love this show! :}

[youtube-arc]

What made you love smg3? :p

And how are u today? ^^

Oh, hi anon, I'm fine! Today is being a slow and lazy day, which is good after a train wreck of a week I had lmao

About 3...well, SMG3 wasnt my favorite character at first, I enjoyed him, he was goofy, silly and funny, basically a Team Rocket-esque villain, a trope I always liked; but he was not my favorite

(Also, he is my brother's favorite, so he made me watch all eps 3 appeared lmao)

Well, when the Classic Era ended, 3 started to appear less, but his schemes were more...evil, I would say, things like Mad Mario non ironically took me off guard and all, and I was intrigued: the series was getting more serious, and now it had the arcs..I wondered if he was also getting serious

Well, when I watched Mario's Spicy Day for the first time, I was 100% sure: the team was taking this cartoony ass villain seriously...and they just gave him the most intersting backstory possible

3's backstory is probably what made me put him as my favorite in the first moment; is so intersting to rethink every single interaction he and 4 with the fact that 3 always envied 4, since they were in college

Literally everything made sense now that we knew that...and the way he told all of it...god, its amazing, Mario's Spicy Day changed the way I see the series forever

As my url implies, I LOVE The Youtube Arc, and 3 is probably the main reason why; his presence, his lines, his plans, everything about him is perfect...and I couldnt bring myself to hate or cheer against him...he wsd an amazing villain, and you could see that he could do better, he WANTED to do better; even if his actions were kinda drastic and targeted, I thought he was more like Waluigi and Bob than Francis, you know what I mean?

And he came back as the Dead Meme Lord and we saw his relationship with 4 and Mario evolve, and his connections with both of them be explored and stabilished as fate...gosh, I started to like him even more, and wanted to see more of him

As part of those cool things, I really love how grumpy, moody, silly, and smart and gay he is...and hes also a tsundere, I have always liked tsunderes

He is funny and cool as hell, I like how contradictory and yet cohesive his character has being, and I love studing him and thinking about his personality and stuff..Did you know that he always putted fancy hats in creatures he wanted to keep as a pet? isnt this guy a delight?

Anyway, I hope you can understand it aisduhuiasdh I just wrote with my heart and all

I love this gay guy I hope he explodes /pos

[pansy-picnics]

how did unknighted dream react to varian coming out/bringing home hugo lol

LMAOOO OK so this is one of my favorite things ever solely bc theres SO MANY different ways it can go and literally all of them are fucking gold

i feel like they always knew varian was Not Straight. im a big fan of the idea that varian transitions after qfad and has a big mental breakdown haircut when his dad gets trapped and considering his feelings towards both eugene and cass i think it was always this unspoken thing all of them knew about. rapunzel and eugene however were obviously Not expecting him to bring home a whole ass boyfriend

of course varian wrote tons of letters home so they both heard everything about the new friends he was making, but varian was insistent on not telling them ANYTHING about his crush because god knows how rapunzel would react if she found out about That. she was suspicious when he came back for the light trial but decided to keep her mouth shut until they were all finished with their work there

i love rapunzel and eugene being super supportive but also a Little protective. and its not really anything to do with anything hugo’s done, they’re all about second chances after all but they’re obviously not ready to see their baby brother grow up so fast. ive seen a lot of fics where one or both of them are very defensive and suspicious towards hugo and it ends with a VERY yummy confrontation from varian where he tells them they need to learn that he’s an adult now and is able to make his own choices and they have to be okay with that. but the route of them being so excited and supportive that it ends up being overbearing is also super funny and in character

i think rapunzel at first would be super excited varian is finding love, and very welcoming towards hugo on a surface level- but as time goes on the tiniest things start to make her paranoid, and she worries a lot about varian getting hurt in some way. cue her snooping around a lot just to make sure he’s okay, varian eventually confronting her about it and her apologizing and promising to recognize varian’s maturity and be more accepting of his choices.

when rapunzel actually starts to see hugo on a deeper level she starts to recognize a lot of his similarities to varian, eugene, and especially herself, and she’s now basically like “oh ok!!! new baby brother!! :)”

she then tries to be a lot more welcoming towards hugo, trying to help him settle into the castle without being too overbearing. of course from hugo’s perspective her seemingly constant mood swings make him very hesitant to trust her, but eventually through varian the two are able to bond and find a lot of common ground

eugene on the other hand is fun bc he’s way more versatile and it can go a LOT of different ways depending on how they’re introduced or how their past together is established. i love the idea of him basically becoming Cass 2.0 and being super overprotective of varian but i also like to imagine he’s mostly just so hostile towards hugo bc he recognizes so much of his younger self and is Cringing about it (he would literally NEVER admit it though). like he’s like “i cannot STAND that kid he always acts so cocky and like he’s sooo much better than me” and cass is like “lmao yeah right? he’s exactly like you when you first came here” and eugene’s just “😐”

anyways they’re best friends (they literally cant stand each other)

no they do start to get along eventually though and i have so many thoughts about the potential friendship between the former thieves, lance hugo and eugene would be SUCH a dynamic and this fandom is sleeping on it fr

and then theres cass. GOD cass is my favorite in this situation by far bc shes way more logical and is like the only grounding force between rapunzel and eugene. new dream are the overemotional parents/older siblings in this situation and cass is like. the wine aunt.

bc see cass already ran into varian at some point during his journey and has already processed most of these changes ahead of time. she already recognized how much varian had matured and how much this trip had changed him. and most importantly she recognized what was going on between him and hugo a Long time ago and literally Did Not Care

in fact cass’s main concern is literally just that she thinks hugo is annoying. its not like she’s suspicious of him at all bc she fully trusts varians judgement and also knows varian is capable of handling himself. she’s aware that varian clearly saw something in hugo and chose him for a reason. she just doesn’t like him solely out of personal bias

cass doesn’t straight up tell raps and eugene what the problem is because she knows they need to hear it from varian more than anything but she does try to kind of push them in that direction. she reminds them like “hey maybe you should try to give the kid more credit. i think he knows what he’s doing” yk that kind of thing.

ironically enough though hugo is WAY more scared of her than he is of anyone else. shes like on the same level as quirin on his list of threats which is hilarious because they are the main 2 people who have like, basically nothing against him

hugo: so is this the part where you tell me you’ll kill me if i hurt varian

cass: ? what?? oh no that bitch is fully capable of killing you himself if he wanted to

hugo: …….yeah thats fair actually.

[beetlebug-bii]

What if mc accidentally sneezed into the characters mouth when they yawned? Any assortment of character(s). I just am curious bc shits and giggles.

Authors Note: Pfft oh my stars this is my favorite one I've gotten so far! Short but silly, enjoy!

Requests Open! Send in your sillies! Dont be shy!

Content Warning: silly goofy time

TLDR: why is everyone just so dramatic

Asmo, Belphie, and Diavolo react to MC accidentally sneezing in their mouth

Asmo

Screaming

Crying

Throwing up

He is writhing on the floor

ALL HE DID WAS YAWN

YOU NASTY. NASTY HUMAN

he's screeching and wailing and rapidly scrubbing his tongue with a toothbrush and-

wait a second

THIS ISNT EVEN HIS TOOTHBRUSH

ITS MAMMONS

by this point he is practically deceased

He's given up

Sobbing on the floor

Crying about how unfair life is

How he will never be the same

I think this experience genuinely changed Asmo

He will be grief ridden for days

If not weeks!

He literally cried so hard it formed a small puddle

Which made him cry more because the salt in the tears was totally going to dry out his skin

He was so dramatic about the whole situation

He wore

A mask around you

For a month

You can kiss him THROUGH THE MASK

offered to help you with a nice mucus cleansing routine

You know what the worst part is?

This all happened on livestream

His fanbase is so split between thinking it was hilarious and mourning alongside him

You are a supervillain now I'm so sorry

Watch where you sneeze next time love

Belphie

Uhm hello?

Who do you think you are??

Offended to the max

(He secretly thought it was so funny dont worry)

But he is a little shit first and foremost

He made the most offended and flabbergasted sounds at you without even saying a word for like 3 straight minutes

He sounded like a literal keyboard smash, you didnt know that was a sound people were capable of making but you were so wrong

How could you do this to him

SNEEZING

IN HIS PRESENCE

IN HIS MOUTH

YOU RUDE FUCKER

and so he had to pull out the pro gamer moves he learned from big brother Mammon

You owe him 200% interest and a down payment for emotional damages

Yes this is necessary

What do you mean you dont have the grimm

Well guess you gotta work to pay off your nasty debt then huh

You owe him like

Forever

Of cuddles

Like forever and ever

No you dont get a choice

Get under the covers before he uses your mouth like a tissue

he will do it

Dont test him.

Diavolo

He was so confused

He yawned

You sneezed

Now he isnt stupid

But he thought it would be so funny to tease you

"Is this a human sign of affection?"

He sneezed on you like 12 times

He kept hinting that he was gonna blow his nose on you

This did end with both of you sprinting around the castle

For like an hour

You were sprinting up and down the halls as he chased after you gleefully

For you it was like an intense horror movie chase scene

And for him he was happily frolicking and teasing his romcom bestie

You ran and ran, and hid time and time again

You were hidden in a closet

A closet in a small corridor hardly ever used

The closet was pitch black, and pretty warm, but you didnt mind

You just had to catch your breath

You were like wow he will never find me here, I lost him

No.

You're wrong.

Turn around real slow

Hes there

So is Barbados for some reason

They are both standing behind you

Smirking

The door is locked

I'd say let god help you but...

Not even god can find you here...

All 3 of you ended up sick the next day

Whoopsies

[honeynclove]

It’s your turn pookie 🫵 tell me about your favorite ships for each character 😍😍😍😍

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED TEEHEHEHEHEH (ships underneath the read more bc lord can i blabber) also the formatting of this one turned out odd for some reason random letters r bold n I am too lazy to fix it so

heartslabyul riddle - azurid‼️‼️‼️ GUYS THEYRE SO CUTE IDK their moments in book 6 were everything to me n also this fic sold me on them they’re so cutie rahhh. special shout out to the oc I ship him with ace - adeuce r my annoying little brothers however I want the best for them n think their relationship is funny deuce - ^^^^ and also epeldeuce bc ain’t no way they went on a beach side date and thought I wouldn’t call their gay asses out 🙄🙄🙄 trey - auhmm. hhhrmmmm. well. I do like riddle cater n trey as poly but I wldnt say it’s my favorite 🥱 cater - IDEKEI 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 chronically introvert online discord mod x chronically online extrovert instagram user ITS SO GOOD GUYS (for fic recs strongly recommend anything Adverb_Slut on ao3 writes) special shout out to the oc I ship him with savanaclaw leona - malleona is funny to me but like. I don’t ship it idk. same w/ leovil they’re just comedic to me. LEONA X ROOK THO IDK I REALLY LIKE IT IDK WHY ruggie - rugs too busy getting cash to be in love /j 🙄🙄 idk I do find kalim x ruggie and ruggie x silver to both be cute jack - epeljack is rlly cute to me but other then that I’m not a fan of any other jack ships. I LOVE LOVE LOVE him and vil PLATONICALLY tho <333 oh and ig someones yuusona w him is cool or whateverzzzzz octavinelle azul - besides azurid, which I adore, I alsoooo love love love idiazul smth about those two LOSERRRSSS in love makes me happy 💕💕💕 I also enjoy him with rielle but like… my very specific interpretation of rielle that’s basically an oc 😭 jade - will y’all kill me if I just say myself bc that’s the truth. like I’m sorry guys me n Jade r so madly in love it’s actually wildly insane and crazy and we will have joint tombstones 😁💕💕😍😍😍🏳️‍🌈🙄🏳️‍🌈 we r madly in love and also both on the spectrum (which one? all) I also like siljade bc I think it’s silly floyd - FLOJAMIIIIIIIIIII 💞💞💞💞 GOD. that ship is so silly I wanna shake it like a snow globe rhhhhahahahahha. i also love FLONEI bc it’s SILLY N IDK 😭😭😭 I just like it guys. also myself sorry I’m sorry scarabia jamil - ^^^^ n I also enjoy azujami in a comedic sense but outside of that I lowkey dislike it lmao. WAIT AS IM WRITING THIS I AN REMINDED OF JAMIL X RUGGIE WHICH I HIGHKEY ENJOY TBH kalim - Again don’t have any specific ships for him, but Silver x Kalim is v v cute I would squish them my cuties pomefiore vil - alr mentioned leovil but I am also casual rookvil enjoyer I just think they’re silly. shout out to the oc I ship w him tho rook - mentioning rookvil n rook x leona again just bc they’re silly ‼️‼️ honestly love rooks lil freak self epel - epeldeuce epeljack and uhhhh SEBEPEL ignihyde idia - I think I’m running out of idia ships to mention tbh. I DO LOVE IDIASIL AUGHHH. Idk his chronically online ass is so good w so many different ppl it’s crazy diasomnia malleus - I ship him w myself duh 🙄🙄🙄 malleyuu specifically I love seeing everyone w him it’s so cute. ALSO I find mallerollo rlly funny n interesting tbh silver - silidia n siljade &lt;3 sebek - just sebepel rlly tbh lilia - LILIBAUL😍😍😍😍🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈‼️‼️ I LOVE OLD MAN YAOI GUYS /j n I also rlly enjoy him x levan n meleanor the angst is crazy and insane and I love it RAHHH. I also ship him w my oc Fleur who’s based on Flora from sleeping beauty. Also most ppl who make Lilia a bf get my support I love that old man staff trein - him x his wife ig crowley - him x meleanor x lilia only in the crowley = levan theory vargas - I ship him w an oc based on lefou from beauty and the beast ‼️‼️ sam, crewel - no ships for them :(( other neige - FLONEI ‼️‼️‼️ I just wanted to mention them again tbh. I’ve also seen cheneige which is v cute chenya - kinda fond of him poly w/ Trey n Riddle ☹️☹️ I think it’s cute rollo - ROLLO X AUGUST (vice president npc) FOR THE WIN GUYS I COULD TALK AB THEM FOR DAYS. YEARS EVEN. fellow honest - more weird silly ships I’m the second fellow x aces big brother shipper literally ever

OKKK I think that’s everyone 😍😍 feel free to leave opinions on my opinions idk

[imkazz]

things i will PAY for to have in tsats

1. nico to make a bones joke

2. will to wear cargo pants to tartarus

3. apollo to give them a ride somewhere

4. them to say goodbye to some people

5. wear the ‘tartarus club’ shirt

6. will to critisize the river phleglon (river of fire)

7. nicos big sacrifice to be some super rare mythomagic card he brought

8. them to stop next to elysium to say goodbye to some dead people (jason) edit yk what that would alert hades who expressed that nico dont go back to tartarus

9. bob. please, bob be real.

10. solangelo to meet akhyles (goddess of misery)

11. will to use his glow in tartarus

12. them to hug as they fall down

13. please show meg somewhere i love nico and megs dynamic

14. will to be completely shook that nobody ever brings med kits on quests

15. meet with cupid/eros and will goes completely ballistic

16. apollo cabin to solely refer to nico as ‘brother in law’

17. yk i dont think plauge powers really would fit canon will but its a cool idea to think about @iwnut 

18. the brochure from when percabeth talked to nyx. yes @mistresscitrusslice . let them give their brochure to solangelo. “ok so in about 15 minutes and past the empousi cave, hellhound pack, and plauge spirit home should be the hermes temple” “oh thank the gods”

19. mr d to say goodbye to his favourite demigod and his boyfriend and hand will a rifle/ak47 and go “youre shit with any other weapon. the bullets are already in the bag.”

20. hunters of artemis. just. nico acting uncomfortable and will knowing part of the story so he shields nico away from most of them

21. shelper shelper shelper

22. this ones a bit far but please get married? and will to make a joke about ‘secret jedi wedding’ and for piper to officiate it and leo as the witness because he also made the rings and theyre trying not to rope that many people in

23. will to just say ‘there is a disturbance in the force’ in tartarus

24. nico to still hate pomogranites

25. please let us see nicos zombie chauffur jules-albert somewhere. 

26. mr d to force nico and will to watch something that looks like the orientation film but when they play it its percy and annabeth telling the dos and donts of a quest and percy is such a bad actor that theres so many cuts of percy saying ‘line?’  or ‘whats next’

27. and at the end percy goes ‘well what did you learn about going on your quest?’ dora the explorer style ‘great!’

28. trogs to go ‘ah its the son of hades and his bioluminecient boyfriend’ and will to just give a small sigh

29. mr d to talk to will in private and just: ‘wheel’ ‘thats still not my name’ ‘thats how nico says your name’ ‘well its just his accent’

30. please let there be an oath to styx. just not one as stupid as apollo because nico and will are smarter than that but yk what swearing to an immortal river who will get revenge on you if you break that promise doesnt sound that smart

31. solangelo to run into lukes shoes. we were robbed of this from percy and annabeth. imagine how funny itd be if they just ran into some winged shoes.

32. yk i want nico and thalia to meditate together and when asked what they were doing thalia to just respond ‘photosynthesizing’

33. orpheus and eurydice reference (this actually can become canon because on the cover it shows them holding hands with nico slightly more forward than will and pointing to the doors so nicorpheus and willdice)

34. will backstory will backstory will backstory will backstory will backstory will backstory will backstory will backstory will backstory will backstory will backstory will backst-

35. some memories of nicos for jason to show how much he misses his friend

36. just a fleeting mention of bianca from either of them

37. if theres a will pov make him hate percy. mans was partially responsible for both his older brothers deaths. he did shit to his boyfriend which include strangling him at godsdamned twelve years old. will shouldnt exactly adore percy is more what i mean.

38. solangelo smooch.

39. nico is the new percy of chb. think of it, big 3 kid, very powerful, hero, lives at chb, close to percy, knows a lot of people. nico is just the go-to now that percy is at college and nico is a permanent resident. 

40. nico fan club. made of new younger campers, reyna, will, percy, annabeth, meg, apollo, hades, and a whole bunch of long-time campers.

41. just to have some new campers act like ttc!nico and follow nico around like he did with percy just asking questions and instead of finding them annoying like percy did nico would answer their questions truthfully like how apollo actually did for nico

these arent in order. id die to see the ‘tartarus club’ shirt to be worn by percy annabeth or nico though or at the end of the book for will to be gifted one though and more to be added