#BUT FOR THE SAKE OF COMEDY LEMME HAVE THIS

[productofaritual]

Love how the scene during the Osiron planetoid when Ranboo and Tubbo are talking Ranboo literally fucking pulls out Tubbo's trauma after Tubbo asked him about school. Like that's the conversation equivalent of being poked with a butter knife and pulling out a shotgun

[flamesonmyface]

DBH: Truly for the gays...

lemme just ramble for a sec...

Madeline didn't lie when she said this show is for the gays.

The original film is iconic in its own light, and is already loved by like- every gay person to walk the earth. Its legendary leading ladies, the dark glamour aesthetic, the horror twist that remains comedic and catty; I could go on forever.

BUT THIS MUSICAL-

Like- just starting with the aesthetics, it is jaw-dropping. A stereotypically flamboyant display of feathers, sequins, rhinestones and beads; some of the best costuming I have ever seen. Then the sets- oh god the sets... Lit to absolute perfection; the space is transformed so amazingly behind that ostentatious purple curtain. And we cant forget the wigs. Ohhhh the wigs! Voluminous, bouncy, quaffed to absolute perfection. These women are in full drag from opening number to the curtain call. Its amazing. It is everything you could expect with the source material in mind, and then some.

But where it gets even better is the plot. I mean- its just a tad gayer... The original film is iconic and gay on its own, but not for the same reasons as the musical. The Broadway plot undeniably leans into romantic undertones between Helen and Madeline which level up the whole thing. It remains true to the reasons queer people resonated with the original horror-comedy, while leaving enough subtext for the audience members who resonate with WLW tropes to get something new from it as well. Nothing from the source material is lost, and it is just as funny, witty and charming as it started. It is just tweaked to be loved by all different types of people, all for the sake of laughter and a love for Broadway.

Its just really beautiful to me that it has become something meaningful to queer people far and wide. I am a gay guy, and I could go on about everything that this musical does for me, but the best part is that my reasons for loving it can be totally different than what does it for the next person, and so on. A movie that our community resonated with for reasons unintentional year after year, now has become something that so many find representative of their queer identity in endless ways.

Weather it inspires your inner diva, scratches the itch for fashion and glamour, or maybe you just find the pretty ladies hot, its a reminder that being gay can mean a lot of things, and all of them can find somewhere safe in Death Becomes Her.

Sorry I am really gay and love this show so fucking much. Probs will delete later cuz I cringed myself out reading this back.

[bewitched-forest]

(Sinners is to blame for this rant, I explain why at the end, that’s why I’m tagging the movie here. Also, spoiler warning.)

Is there anyone else out there who can’t help but feel like they’re missing out on something when they see others practicing ancient cultural traditions?

I’m speaking as a very white, american person here. I got one of those dna tests as a kid cause I wanted to and lemme tell you, you could throw a dart at the western part of a map of Europe and hit a country I have blood from.

But I grew up in SoCal, so I was very heavily exposed to other cultures and traditions. Every Chinese New Years you had the girls dressed in whatever cultural clothes were theirs, and every Halloween event was immediately followed by one for Dia De Los Muertos. And I just remember having the deeply seeded sense of longing everytime I watched those events play out.

Because I had nothing. The one “cultural tradition” I learned was a recipe for Æbleskiver, which are these Danish pancake balls. Which, by the way, come from my ADOPTED dad’s side of the family, and the dna test said I wasn’t even danish so… Hell, I don’t even remember the name of my great grandparents because that information just isn’t repeated nearly enough. I know factually I’m all these things but I couldn’t tell you jack shit about it. Not the same way people who’s families were immersed in their cultures could. Anything I learn about “my cultures” I learn on my own. Anything I learn, I’m the first person in my family to know these things, probably the first person to know them for generations.

And so going to see Sinners and encountering the character of Remmick was a slap in the face. Because he talked about it. The deletion of his culture in the face of being assimilated. Specifically in the scene where he finishes the prayer Sammy starts near the end of the movie. I don’t remember his exact words but he basically accuses the prayer of being shoved down his throat, of being forced to remember it, but also it brings him comfort because its at least something he knows. Something he does remember in the face of forgetting so much else.

The whole fucking reason he wants Sammy for fucks sake is to reconnect with his own fucking ancestors. His own family. His own culture.

(Don’t take this to mean I think Remmick is right. He’s not. He’s perpetuating the problem he hates. I’m just saying I resonated with his words.)

Anyways. Sinners was good fucking movie. It caused me to be smacked upside the head with some very old feelings of mine. Lowkey my favorite character was Stack, and I’d argue the movie qualifies as a horror comedy.

If anyone has good sources to learn about Irish culture, I’d love to have them.

[symphonic-scream]

More Inaba Wildcard Ryuji

Arcana reminder;

Fool Ryuji, Chariot Makoto (transmasc), Magician Ann, Priestess Haru, Emperor Goro

Just. The boys out jogging,

Ryuji: why do you wear a shirt for this? Like, you keep pulling at it like it's bothering you

Makoto: oh, I just... I don't like having my scars visible. I get enough stares as it is, since they all know about me, but it's worse when, they can see "what I've done to myself",

Ryuji: well, if those who are trying to bring you down are loud, guess we've gotta be louder

Makoto: what

Ryuji: us; me, Haru, and Ann-

Makoto, muttered: Haru, Ann and I-

Ryuji: we're trying to lift you up, so we gotta be louder so you don't hear the downers!

Makoto: dude,,

Ryuji: we can try doing it so early that no one's out yet-

Makoto: neither of us will wake up for that

Ryuji: okay, so we'll do it late at night! Or in the mountains, where no one can see you, until you feel like you can run without a shirt in town!

Ryuji, from the city, very socially "who gives a fuck let's ball"

Makoto, small town trans guy, doesn't wanna ruin his family's rep in town too much for his sister's sake

But man. Sae would see him return from a run with Ryuji in just track pants and greet him with a proud smile

Oh, and

Like. Ryuji comes to Yasogami and is like "when are track tryouts" and Makoto ahs to look at him and say they have two sports. Basketball or Soccer.

Ryuji: what do you play?

Makoto: oh, I don't. They've never let me on either team

Ryuji: then how are you so built, bro?

Makoto: I do martial arts from home, and I go for a run every day

Ryuji: RUNNING YES LEMME JOIN YOU

Ryuji is a track runner so he's completely unprepared for the cross country shit Makoto does as a wake up and it's comedy day one of the social link

Ryuji: WHAT *gasp* THE *gasp* EFF

Makoto: running uphill is hard to adjust to

Ryuji: WHY DO YOU DO IT

Makoto: great calves

City boy gets the "hills exist" treatment

Ryuji: we should have a bros night!

Makoto: as long as it's not Saturday, Haru and I have our own sleepovers every week

Ryuji: dude you two are adorable together, of course I'll pick another day! Uh, Tuesday?

Makoto: sure, yours or mine? My sister won't be home until late-

Ryuji: come over, it'll help prove to my Ma that I have friends

And now. MakoHaru content

The woes of a small town trans boy. Everyone has known him since he was born. The dichotomy of being so known but no one really knowing ***you***

And, well, he's always had his best friend at his side. And maybe he's been in love with her for years, and maybe she's had a thing for him for just as long. Maybe they have weekly sleepovers, with her wearing one of his crew necks, and it's the only time he doesn't feel self conscious about his chest scars, and maybe they've been sleeping in the same bed for years, curled together like they're the last two people on earth who understand,

And I like to think, that the night they rescue Haru from the TV world, he goes home with her. After her dad bear hugs her, and tugs him in as well, Makoto holds her close in her bed. His lip is wobbling, and she's very tired, but she knows him. Knows he's probably too in his head. She cups his face, gently, and kisses the edge of his lips, just a soft peck

Makoto: ...'Ru,

Haru: shhh, I'm sleepy. When we wake up,, make sure to kiss me, okay, silly boy?

Makoto: whatever you want, I'll do anything for you

Haru: then lie with me and sleep,

They kiss in the morning. They kiss, a lot. Haru is still feeling a bit tired, and Makoto takes the day off school without a second thought. They don't spend the *whole* day kissing, but Haru finds she loves how Makoto looks with wide, red eyes, a dopey lil smile, flushed down to his chest. Hair a lil rumpled,

Haru: you look really good when you're happy like this

Makoto: you- you're always so pretty,, gorgeous even!

Haru: oh, my Silly Boy,

Haru: my boyfriend is built like a Greek statue. He is the temple. And yet, he is still cuddly. He's a simp. He loves me like I created the universe just for him,, I might not want to immediately get married after graduation like my dad once wanted, but one day, I *will* be his wife. Gladly, happily, for eternity

Makoto: ...Haru,,, she's so,,, *goes red and hides his face and makes a loud whining noise*

IT meetings on the roof or in the cafeteria with Haru sitting on Makoto's lap, his arms around her middle as she plays with his hands, his chin on her shoulder, him paying more attention than her-

Makoto, softly: what do you think, Darling?

Haru: hm? About what?

Makoto: about the case

Haru: mm, I agree with whatever you're thinking, Love. You have a clever mind

Makoto: you weren't listening were you?

Haru: nope. Thinking about kissing you at our sleepover tonight, handsome

Makoto: skdbfkfbfkfnfjf

Goro: can we ban them from sitting together at meetings? I'm going to be sick.

Ryuji: bro, homophobia is never okay

Goro: IM GAY

Ann: HE'S DODGING THE QUESTION

And now, some Haru stuff

Haru's thing with her dad is he was basically pressuring her to try to get married after graduation, not to anyone in particular, but she really wanted to go to college (with Makoto) and they end up talking it out when she gets back from being in the TV

His reasoning? He's worried he'll die one day like her mother and leave her alone, and there won't be anyone to care for her. His whole reasoning is he wanted to make sure that no matter what, there would be someone to take care of her

Haru: have you ever considered, that I could care for myself?

Okumura: then I'd have to admit you've grown up from my precious little girl, and I guess I was still thinking of you as my baby girl

(yes he isn't completely evil here)

And. Finally. Goro and Makoto stuff

The whole camping thing. No one but Goro will share a tent with Makoto, and they're both lying there silently

Goro: they're all idiots for hating you for being a boy. You have much worse qualities.

Makoto: shut up, prick

They're both smiling, just a little

Makoto pushes him into the river the next day

Goro: YOU ASSHOLE

Makoto: wow, that was a weird gust of wind

Antagonistic friendship

But at the end of the day, it's clear they have the other's back.

Makoto arrives to school earlier than usual and notices Goro cleaning out Makoto's shoe locker silently. Cleaning off graffiti, throwing out trash and notes-

Makoto doesn't say a thing. He starts silently dropping spare food in Goro's bag before lunch.

---

Still haven't picked out where the others really fit in besides Star Joker. Still thinking of how to make those dynamics work, but I'm really open to opinions and suggestions cause I'm blanking

[salmonight]

Ra's vs. The Evil Overlord List

or AKA Ra's finding the Evil Overlord List and making use of it to become a better and more devious overlord

So in my random rant my mind came up with idea and latched onto it's absolute high comedy potential so lemme just stash out all the wonderful wonderful scenarios my mind managed to come up with for Ra's to drive the bats mad

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation. : The bats break into Ra 's throne room ready for a full fight, weapons ready, stances turned so they’re blocking each other's blind spots only... for Ra's to seem disgruntled instead of smug or outraged. They are only made aware of another presence when Ra's turns to the...playpen!?? next to his throne to address the toddler happily playing there by themselves "Tell me little one, were my plans and codes this terrible?" and they watch on with horrified fascination as the toddler goes on and points out the most ridiculous and childish points to be faulted with his plans that the bats made good use of to get here and to their stunned surprise Ra's doesn't go into a rage because his plans got ridiculed by a literal toddler but has a disgruntled but all the same pleased look on his face as if stunned his idea actually worked and addresses the child once again "Well done my little advisor, this great work calls for a reward of ice cream after dinner" as the toddler cheers joyfully swinging the toy held in their hands happily in the air, all the bats simultaneously check themselves for drugs finding no such a luck

142. If I have children and subsequently grandchildren, I will keep my three-year-old granddaughter near me at all times. When the hero enters to kill me, I will ask him to first explain to her why it is necessary to kill her beloved grandpa. When the hero launches  into an explanation of morality way over her head, that will be her cue to pull the lever and send him into the pit of crocodiles. After all, small children like crocodiles almost as much as Evil  Overlords and it's important to spend quality time with the grandkids: Bruce in his full Batman regalia breaks down Ra's bedroom door only to find him holding... a toddler once again. Only this time the toddler seems to resemble both of them a bit too much for it to be a coincidence. Bruce is even more stunned when Ra's looks at him, face not giving anything away all the while his eyes gleam mischievously. Before Bruce could prepare himself for anything Ra's would throw his way Ra's opens his mouth "Well not like it is an unpleasant turn of events but what do I owe the pleasure of the great detective coming to visit me in person?" Bruce manages to snap back into the situation and growls out with a low threatening voice "Don't play coy with me Ra's. You know well enough what you did. Now you can come with me peacefully or we can do this the hard way" he says while preparing for the imminent showdown not expecting the following words coming out of his opponent’s mouth "Well great detective while don't you explain to my darling grandson why you would want to hurt his poor poor fragile grandfather" the shock of the words make his eyes snap to the small child held loosely in the immortal's arms looking at him with their big green eyes. Body locked, mind frozen he tries to bluster up an answer for the tiny innocent child's sake only for them to pull a string Bruce never paid mind to. The floor opens under them, and they fall, not having time to jump out of the way, only barely stopping themselves from landing in the water full of...crocodiles!? with a batarang stabbed into the stone walls. And still in the room little Damian let out an utterly happy and mildly feral but all the while blinding smile seeing his scheme work. He bounced in Ra's lap happily while he looked down indulgently. After all, this was his grandson's first successful scheme against his father. This is in order of a celebration. Maybe he could get his grandson some more crocodiles; he seemed to adore them immensely with their deadly beauty and fierce disposition, Ra’s mused as he walked off with his grandson buzzing in excitement held in his arms not sparing a thought for the man stuck in the hole, in the middle of his room, with a bunch of hungry predators.

158. I will exchange the labels on my folder of top-secret plans and my folder of family recipes. Imagine the hero's surprise when he decodes the stolen plans and finds instructions for Grandma's Potato Salad: Tim steals a file labeled as one of Ra’s super-bad-if-it-actually-goes-trough plans only.. For it to be a copy of a hand written recipe of kabsa instead of the supposed plans of action. It’s a copy of Ra’s grandma’s  great recipe book. He watches in great enjoyment through the cameras as the realization sets in, saving the glorious moment with a well timed screenshot of the feed to be safely tucked away into his folder of epic bat fails.

[blistering-typhoons]

Okay, so I watched one or two Rathbone Holmes stories back in high school and decided I didn't like Nigel Bruce, but I've also seen you talking positively about the Rathbone Holmes movies/ episodes. If you're willing, can you say why you like them and/ or which you would recommend starting on? Is it a series to watch in broadcast order, or are they more stand-alone? Which ones are your favorite? I want to give it a second chance.

hiya, thanks for the ask :D adding a cut here cuz this post got realllyyy outta hand- so so sorry xD

I wanna preface by saying that I totally get the frustration of Nigel Bruce Watson- as much as I've come to care for this portrayal, there are still moments of disappointment? I feel? Mostly once you see all the potential in him before it gets unceremoniously dumbed down for the sake of comedy, and it can be trying sometimes, but I've learned to breeze past those moments and! There are definitely movies where he shines brighter than others! In the end, you may warm up to him or you may not, but I fully commend you on taking another chance :D

I did not really start off in broadcast order (my ass still hasn't seen rathbone and bruce's HOUN- bloody disgraceful lmao) and mostly watched in order of vibes, which seems to have worked out alright xD

I started off with Scarlet Claw, and after rewatching it this morning, I feel like it's an alright place to start! It's a good sort of mystery and there was enough element of equal partnership to get me invested in Holmes and Watson. But, I'd say it's still pretty lukewarm, enjoy it as I do, so to compound this long ass post lemme throw a list at you real quick of rathbone movies i strongly recommend-

The Pearl of Death:

Starting off with Pearl of Death not only for the 'Watson gathers the braincells' quality but because it's one of the genuine classics in the series- a brilliantly crafted movie from start to finish, and in my opinion, one of the better shot ones. This one is a good start, it's a bit slow in some places, but it's a good, neutral film that showcases I think some of the more concrete themes and brilliancy of the movies.

House of Fear:

I honestly dunno if I'm biased about this one, but it is genuinely one of my favourite movies of all time. It's the very second one I watched, and it's still in my nighttime viewing collection- I fall asleep watching this movie, which is a compliment I swear. Watson has a more active role, is genuinely trying his best for most of the runtime and falls more in line with 'genuine failure to succeed' more than just 'bungled it up for a gag'. It's a really, really excellent mystery and I adore Holmes and Watson's dynamic throughout- 10/10, freaking banger movie.

Pursuit to Algiers:

Then, of course, the Big Daddy herself- Pursuit to Algiers. This one falls less in line with a mystery (our baddies become pretty clear at one point) and more suspense, but man is that a good thing. The dang thing takes place on a boat for most of it, Holmes and Watson are attached to eachother like pairbonded shelter dogs and have the most balanced, affectionate of interactions, Watson gets to sing! And not to give away any spoilers (yeah shush, i know the movie's old) but a particular plot point happens in this movie and as a result, Nigel Bruce gets to do a genuinely heartbreaking piece of acting- seriously, there is a shot where he goes out onto the deck, completely silent of music and just looks out into the ocean that still has me unwell even after all this time. Goofy moments still happen in the movie, but they feel more organic, and overall there is a wonderfully grounded approach to Watson here- he's still silly, but it's a fun silly, and a silly that Holmes indulges in with him. The depth of affection between these two is ASTOUNDING in this movie, bloody unhinged behaviour. Great movie, do watch it :D

I'd say those three are, at least in my opinion, the best of the best! I do enjoy the others, but I think it best to venture into those once an affection has been developed, they do strain the patience a bit at times I'm afraid. (And it goes without saying, some of the movies have a definite propaganda vibe to them, which is charming sometimes and sometimes just grating, really depends on the day i think- none of the three movies listed above fall under this category though- and the of course, general warning for all the really poorly aged 1940s stuff, but you know that :>)

Except The Spider Woman. In really the bluntest of terms, fuck that movie, all my homies hate The Spider Woman, do NOT watch it (i'm only half joking, oh god its so bad)

Anyways, uh, sorry lmao-

I really must thank you for letting me put this incredibly useless knowledge to use, I'm so goddamn sorry it came out in this absolute massive scrawl- I wish you all the luck in your rathbone holmes adventure, and I hope you have an illuminating time either way it goes for you :D

[sobeksewerrat]

Mastermind live watch thoughts part 1 (spoilers ahead)

Okay so they're really going all out on Andrealaphus's whole winter shtick. Wonder how it'll take for it to get old ngl

Oh so we're FINALLY figuring out the consequences of using the grimoire illegally? I feel like it's a little late and there was almost no set up at all this season?? At least we're learning more about Hell's laws and judicial system. I really wanted to know more about that, even if it feels out of nowhere. I am a little concerned considering the run time is only 22 minutes, and as an ace attorney fan I do not think that is enough for a compelling legal procedure, there's a reason the courtroom scenes were the least compelling part of the Ace Attorney anime (despite my love for it, and to be fair they were still great they just lacked a lot of the details and mystery)

Andy (yes I'm calling him andy) and Stella have such chaotic sibling energy I love it (I am so gonna regret this later, aren't I?)

Andy is so elsa coded/j

.….did he just…call her hot??? Huh??? Viv what the fuck is your obsession with incest I need to know

MORE POTENTIAL I.M.P EMPLOYEES?? OOOOOOO

…okay if Hell's got law enforcement like THAT how the FUCK were I.M.P not arrested a long time ago?? Also…grim reaper demons?? Huh???

Gee viv way to undercut the conflict with humourIs that…a police brutality joke?? Why do they keep babying Moxxie and treating him like a joke??

The tension is literally nonexistent there is no threat what the fuck way to kill the mood dude and I was so fucking hyped too

OH NO THE INTERNS NO I LIKED THEM

Oh the muzzle on Loona is so cruel I wish the show explored the cruelty against Hellhounds more like wow they are genuinely treated like rabid animals instead of people and that could've been such a cool way to explore Hell's classism and racism amongst hellborn

OMG SATAN BBG YOUR VOICE IS SO HOT I CAN TELL HELL BE MY NEWEST BLORBO BY THE END OF THE EPISODE

Back to the ranting! Ohhhhh boy, okay why are the Sins here again? I can understand Satan, since imps are his rings’ native citizens, but the others? I can understand them being here if this was some major crime in Hell, but I.M.P has been running for A WHILE, and Asmodeus is aware of it and they're literally under his jurisdiction ACCORDING TO STOLAS! So, by all accounts, he might be the only other Sin relevant to this case. Moreover, we know the Sins hold somewhat equal power (save for Lucifer, maybe), and we know Succubi and Incubi work under Asmodeus and are legally allowed to traverse the human realm, correct? Therefore the I.M.P crew technically count as Ozz's employees, no? And due to his influence and the fact that his rings’ natives are allowed to travel wherever, this case should've been thrown out as Blitzø technically isn't breaking demon law, from my understanding. You could argue that this for when he was using the Grimoire, which is fair, however calling I.M.P an illegal business is a stretch. Besides, Asmodeus was aware of the Grimoire thing  and didn't do JACKSHIT! He didn't even have a reaction! That immediately undercuts any conflict regarding it as it implies that this is not that big of a deal, so the Sins being here genuinely just feels like conflict for the sake of conflict and to hype the episode as being the first appearance of all of them (minus Lucifer) together and showing off Leviathan and Belphegor.

Speaking of Levi and Belphie (look I used ro be an obey me fan alright? Lemme call them Belphie), I have…issues with their designs. I admit, they are a bit better than I initially judge them as but GOD what the fuck

Stealing??? STOLA GAVE IT TO HIM

Oh my god STOP WITH THE COMEDY AND THE INCEST FOR FUCKS SAKE WASNT ANDY A FUCKING GAY MAN ANYWAY??

No wait because the “forcing himself” allegation could hold some water (IN A COURTROOM I MEAN). Stolas is of much higher power, and in the eyes of a classist society like Hell's it wouldn't make sense for a Goetia to stoop down to such a level unless they were forced to or coerced in any way (this is using the logic the series presents us with! Remember that newspaper from Oops?). This could've been such a cool way to explore false allegations such as these and delve into the topic of Hell's classism and racism once more. Moreover, Blitzø is a somewhat typically masculine man, and he's known to be hypersexual, so it could highlight the bias when accusing him of such a thing. But, alas, this is Helluva Boss we're talking about here. 

EXACTLY. WHERE THE FUCK IS STALE ASS. THANK YOU VASAGO

Also, not to bring up Ace Attorney again, but this is the shittiest fictional court proceeding ever, and I played Turnabout Big Top. 

VASAGO BBG ILY

Also. Andy's point of not facing his aggressor could hold some water…IF HE WAS FILING THE CASE PRIVATELY. THIS IS A HIGHLY IMPORTANT AND PUBLIC COURT PROCEEDING. Even if you didn't want to traumatise poor baby Stalebitch by letting him face Blitzø, disclosing details of his assault, if it was real that is, without his consent is such a vile thing to do and would tank Andy's credibility within seconds. 

Why are they not allowing Blitzø to testify in a fucking court case. Like. Bro. I get imps are oppressed but this is a bit much don't you think.

STRIKER!!! Wait why isn't Striker arrested he tried to kill a royal, no? Why is he conspiring with blue bloods?? Didn't he hate the upper class??? Huh???? Oh wait immunity that answers the first question BUT STILL 

Wait aren't Bee and Ozz biased in this situation?? Shouldn't the jury or whatever be impartial?? WHY IS MAMMON HERE AS WELL HE SHOULD BE BIASED AGAINST BLITZØ TOO! I get that they're Sins, the highest authority in Hell, but WHAT THE FUCK.

Okay but saying an ace character is jealous no one is fucking them is weird, right?

…look Satan bestie I love you but FUCKKKKK WHYYYY. Why is viv so insistent on undercutting the most interesting plot line so far?? If ya hated court proceedings this much viv maybe you shouldn't have written this plot!

Don't get me wrong I love how stupid the Sins are and how they're just people, but I think the show forgets that they're thousands of years old and extremely fucking powerful sometimes.

Also I get that Lucifer isn't here for legal reasons, but couldn't ya have thrown in a line about his absence? Like I think if this was such an important case, and all of Hell's monarchs were involved, the King of Hell should AT LEAST have a reason for not being there (maybe I'm biased cos i hate Lucifer but still)

God I love Levi and Mammon's interaction. Ik it's prolly meant to be flirting, but my Greedyguitar and whatever Adam/Mammon/Eve is called loving ass cannot take it as anything but platonic. Wish Levi spoke tho

“Our power”?? But…you're a Sin? Not a Goetia? Maybe he means royalty in general but tbh this just feels like Viv trying and failing to tie in Hell politics 

No seriously why don't the Sins get a say in this?? Why is it only Satan? ASMODEUS HES UNDER YOUR JURISDICTION DO SOMETHING 

I am so confused about the world building in this show. The Sins have the ability to create life??

“Oh my Lucifer! What are they doing?” SO NOW TOU WANNA SHOW YOU YOU STINGY OWL BITCH?!?

Oh Vivziepop…how I hate your handling of oppression of the lower class and racism please learn a thing or two next time.

NO I GOT EXCITED WHY ISNT STOLAS DEAD

…okay fuck I'm not continuing this I'm finishing it later fuck you Stolas love ya Vasago 

Imma try to put my thoughts into words more coherently later 

[some-pers0n]

So about that ask game you reblogged abt an hour ago

Opinions on The Spy TF2?

Ah, lemme think.

Favourite thing

I am in love with how in-game his disguise is just a mask with the class he's disguised as. It's so stupid and dumb and funny. In the lore it's probably just him being disguised as the character regularly without any mask, but it's still so funny. I also adore every gag of him ever where he's disguised as an object and has the object on that mask. It's priceless.

Least favourite thing

I do wish we got more information about him. I get his whole appeal is that he's this mysterious guy and all, but I do wish we got to explore his past a little. I think there's a lot of potential for James Bond type stuff there.

Favourite line

"26 years ago, I dropped a 'sex bomb' on your mother." I love it both for the comedy of it and also because UAGHHUAHHH HE'S TELLING SCOUT HE'S HIS FATHERRRR WAILING

brOTP

I think Sniper and Spy are really great friends. They get along quite well, despite their occasional squabbles. I don't think of them in a romantic sense, even if they are quite intimate and close. Good friends. I also really like Spy and Pyro. They're cute buds.

OTP

Hm, it's a toss up between Freedom Fries (Soldier/Spy), Practical Espionage (Spy/Engie), and Spoovy (Spy/Heavy). I also like Spy/Sniper in a romantic sense, but personally I prefer it platonic. Spy is a very shipable character.

nOTP

Well there's the obvious forbidden ship, which is a clear and obvious pick-me answer. Normal people should hate that ship. Uhhh,,other than that? I dunno.

Random headcanon

Utter coffee snob. He's pretentious and has like $50,000 dollars worth of equipment to make his prissy little mocha fraps.

Unpopular opinion

Spy isn't a jerk. Snobby and pretentious? Absolutely. I wouldn't say he's particularly rude though. No more rude and antagonistic than the others during their voice lines. In fact, canon material goes against this. He tries to organize a little bucket list thing before they all die. He spends what he believes to be his last few days alive helping Scout try and get a date with Miss Pauling. He is willing to do a suicide pact with Pauling so that they get out of being tortured to death. He sticks around with Scout after they're all fired to keep him and his mother afloat. Hell, he gives Scout closure when he seems to be on the verge of death. I think people assume French = jackass which means he's constantly insulting people and rude. No, he's not.

Song I associate with them

OUghhHH,, that's a hard one to think. Something Stupid by Frank Sinatra. I associate a lot of 1950s songs with him, and Frank Sinatra is perfectly romantic for a guy like him. I also think that him and Scout's Ma hooking up came around from him developing feelings for somebody he shouldn't have, for their own sake. He loved her dearly. Still does even after all these years. But, he can't commit. He doesn't want to settle down. He wants that honeymoon phase to last forever.

Favourite picture

Something about this picture is just really sweet to me. I think a lot of people forget about this comic and how Spy interacts with the boy, which makes me sad since he's...not that bad with him, ya know?

[setaflow]

10 Characters, 10 Fandoms, 10 Tags

Good morning!

Tagged by @ghostoffuturespast on my main blog and both @seeker-of-truth and @ouroboros-hideout on my sideblog-- for the sake of keeping everything jointed I'll post this on my main lol.

Buckle in folks this one's a doozy.

Connor Kenway/Ratonhnhaké:ton (Assassin's Creed III)

Even as the years go by, Connor was the character I made a Tumblr account for and pretty much the only reason I bother still paying attention to Assassin's Creed as a franchise anymore. I was there, man. I was there when everyone in the fandom and their mothers hated this guy, but I will still defend him even with my goddamn life. Characters that go through intense tragedy after intense tragedy and still come out the other side gentle and optimistic are my lifeblood.

2. Johnny Silverhand (Cyberpunk 2077)

(People who follow me for my sideblog make a Surprised Pikachu Face at this placement) My gross rat bastard man I love you I hate you I love you. An intensely tortured character with arguably more negative personality traits than positive ones, but who he is and even why he is is so engaging and tragic that you almost forget he's supposed to be getting on your nerves for most of the game's runtime. Damn you Keanu Reeves and your effortless dorky charisma.

3. Arthur Morgan (Red Dead Redemption 2)

Arthur baby you deserved the world. An insanely complex character with gray morals and a jaded worldview who could never do right no matter how hard he tried until the one moment where it mattered most. I loved John in RDR1 and didn't really expect to get so attached to Arthur, but R* truly did grab me by the shoulders and said "Bet, bitch". To this day, the fact that I never finished that 200k+ word OC fic disguised as an Arthur character study still haunts me.

4. Korra (Avatar: The Legend of Korra)

As someone who'd watched the original Last Airbender series as it aired when I was a kid, I was super excited for a female Avatar when the series was announced back in...god, was I in high school? The point being-- when the show started really hitting it's stride with Korra's character in season 3 I was beyond hooked, and I loved season 4 probably a lot more than I think I should've, but MAN, was it a fun ride. Korra is a character and a show that both got severely panned and honestly I think once you get out of the mindset that you aren't watching Aang 2.0 you'll have a much funner time.

5. Steve Harrington (Stranger Things)

Maybe not as much in later seasons when they really leaned off his popularity + Joe Keery's charisma, but lemme tell y'all season 2 Steve had me in a bonafide stranglehold for two years. "Character stepping up to a leadership role and then getting forcibly adopted by the people they're leading" is one of my favorite tropes and the reason that it worked so well in S2 is partly because the concern of Steve still kinda/sorta had the potential to swing back towards being the bully archetype he showed shades of in S1, so you got to see his relationship with the kids start off as kinda selfish but grow into a genuine protectiveness. GOD this was a top tier man y'all! We had it so good!

6. Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn 99)

Maybe this is coming off the fact that my roommate and I literally just finished binge watching B99 for like the fifth time? But I forgot how much I actually really liked Rosa. One of the best sitcom deadpan snarkers of recent years and I personally liked that they affirmed that she didn't need to see herself settling down to be happy. I'm glad this role basically launched Stephanie Beatriz's career because she truly is the unsung hero of this show's comedy and heart and never really gets enough credit for it imho.

7. Melissa Schemmenti (Abbott Elementary)

Every single time I watch Abbott Elementary. Every. Single. Time. Someone looks at me when Schemmenti appears on screen and goes "Wow, she acts a lot like you do!". And I have to sigh and nod and pretend I don't see it lol. Though unfortunately our differing football opinions means we would probably end up in a fistfight.

8. Takashi "Shiro" Shirogane (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

I will never forgive the VLD showrunners for dropping a nuke on Shiro's character development. Seasons 1-2 Shiro was some of most fun I've ever had following a protagionist's journey to conquer his inner struggles and solely for that, I still have a massive soft spot for him. Dreamworks think about how you massacred my boy and feel bad for it.

9. Benjamin "Benji" Ovich (Beartown Series)

This gif is from the HBO Nordic series (haven't watched it, desperately still want to, don't know if I even can at this point lol), but I'm specifically talking about Benji from the Beartown book trilogy. He evolves into the series deuteragonist alongside Maya and god, he is just such a tragic character who deserves all the world and more. Go read Beartown and scream at me for it.

10. Joey Tribbiani (Friends)

"Characters I See a Lot of Myself In 2: Electric Boogaloo". Joey is the best friend in the entire cast there I said it. Honestly my ideal relationship is a funny overly-assured man who loves the New York Rangers, loves his friends intensely, and has dumb himbo energy. The loud Italian family is just an added bonus.

Uhhhhh who hasn't been tagged yet sorry guys I was late to the party on this one lmao.

[katsuflossy]

heyy! can you please do headcanons of kaminari, bakugou and shinso (sep.) dealing with a s/o with an attitude? like they have to put them in their place and the s/o just goes “🤐” afterwards. thank you! 💓

Dealing with a s/o with an attitude and putting them in place

Pairings: Kirishima Eijiro x reader, Shinsou Hitoshi x reader, Bakugo Katsuki x reader.

A/N: I’ve been waiting for this one! As a girl with tumultuous amounts of attitude lemme test my skill in this. I hope you liked it 😉

TW: Suggestive themes, obscenities

Taglist: @sunset-novice-writer @goatsenpaiultimate

⛑ Oh boy

⛑ Attitude with Kirishima? But he’s baby 🥺

⛑ Your attitude hardly phases him. He just teases you and calls you cute

⛑ Especially if you’re smaller than him, he just pats your head and coos at how adorably miserable you are.

⛑ “Aww (Y/n) you’re RBF is so cute!”

⛑ “I literally have the face of a sociopath ready to kill and you’re going to call me cute? Did you leave your brain in your dorm?”

⛑ It’ll have to build up for him to react.

⛑ He’s Bakugou best friend after all

⛑ So you’ve been throwing attitude all day. You just woke up in a bad mood that’s all.

⛑ At breakfast, he tried to hug you and you shove him off.

⛑ The whole day you’re sucking your teeth and rolling your eyes at everyone including him.

⛑ Then he said he was going to study with Bakugo today instead of you.

⛑ Gurl…

⛑ “Alright then, go off and study with your boyfriend.”

⛑ He turned his figure around to leave, shrugging at what you said. However, the next second your back is firmly against the wall. His left palm makes a large bang on the wall close to your ear. Meanwhile, his right hand on your hips pressed you back against the surface.

⛑ He brings his nose to your ear and whispers “I get it, baby, you’re upset but after studying I can spend all night with you. That good?”

⛑ Sir do you know what you’re doing to the poor reader?

⛑ The new name is Great Dam of Marib cause you’re whet.

⛑ He pulls away from your speechless figure with a little glint in his eye. But as you see it, it goes away and his smile is as innocent as a newborn.

⛑ “Well, I’ll see you later babe.” He goes off with a peck to your lips, like he didn’t do anything.

🎆 Knew you were sassy af

🎆 That’s what drew him to you.

🎆 You even sass Aizawa to the point where he just gave up trying to fix your attitude.

🎆 But it’s sometimes cute. He riles you up even more when you start acting up.

🎆 “Shinsou, for fuck sake can you move?”

🎆 “And if I don’t?”

🎆 “BRUH MOVE-”

🎆 But certain times it doesn’t work with Shinsou

🎆 Turns a black mother when your attitude is on a hundred.

🎆 How do you come into his own room to disrespect him?

🎆 You ain’t pay any bills in here (neither does he but whatever).

🎆 Come in rolling your eyes and grumbling after the music that he was playing before you even walked in.

🎆 “Ayo, turn that shit down. Why tf you always blaring that trash ass shit.”

🎆 “...excuse me?”

🎆 Mind you, he gave you a second chance to come correct… and you didn’t take it.

🎆 “Did I stutter? You-” Should’ve just said I’m sorry, now your ass is brainwashed.

🎆 “Stand up and come over here.”

🎆 The only thing in your mind is “oh fuck I’m about to get it now”

🎆 His smirk was so sinister yet so attractive but today’s punishment wasn’t the one you were expecting.

🎆 He put his lips to your ear only to whisper “Go to the bathroom and douse yourself in cold water.

🎆 As soon as you turned the shower knob, he removed his quirk effects from you, ensuring you feel and remember the chilling ice water run down from your neck to your heels. You’re so shocked and cold you can’t even curse him out

🎆 Even after he’s smirking in your face, faking concern as he asked “Did that cool you down enough?”

🎆 He cares for you after, drying you himself and wrapping the both of you in a large blanket as he puts on your favorite series.

💥 The epitome of attitude himself

💥 If there was a god of attitude and sass...he shall be that deity.

💥 Comebacks and sass are thrown around all day every day. It’s comedy and torture for the Bakusquad.

💥 “-And that’s why yall are extras and I’m going to be number one hero.”

💥 “Who the fuck asked bozo.”

💥 “Alright, blockhead because where tf you came into this!”

💥 “Blockhead?! Say the one with a forehead as textured as a brick!”

💥 On today’s show of “Why (Y/n) got an attitude?” we see Bakugo blowing off his s/o last minute because they challenged the blonde to a handstand competition… I repeat a handstand competition.

💥 Reader is big mad.

💥 He’s in your room as you’re doing your hair, talking about how they have the nerve to challenge him. Meanwhile, all you’re doing is rolling your eyes and looking in the mirror, focusing on your hair.

💥 To piss you off, even more, he pats your back and says “Well, I’m off.”

💥 You finally break.

💥 “Quit patting my back like I’m your homeboy. I’m not finding myself down there with y’all little sweaty boys.”

💥 As you turn around to focus on your task, he presses against you, whispering in your ear.

💥 “My sweaty ass will see you in my room after I blast all the dickheads into oblivion.”

💥 His palm crackled in warning as he smacks your ass with a ferocity that left you speechless.

💥 A little gasp makes him smirk as he put his hands in his pocket and left.

💥 Your face, as hot as pancakes off the grill, unable to make a comeback because you liked it.

[brokentoys]

I’ve talked about how villains are written. But upon watching someone talk about Batw0man. And thinking about how Ed is oftentimes portrayed in comics... the Rule of Funny is also a trope and inconsistent type of writing authors should also be very wary of. Y’all probs know what “Rule of Funny” is... because lemme just explain real quick; it’s basically when something is inconsistent just for the sake of a joke. Most commonly, a character may act... out of character in order to tell a joke. (Examples would be if a character like Eddie says/asks something stupid. The joke would be funny, but it wouldn’t be in character for Eddie to say something stupid, and thus discarding his character for the sake of Comedy.)

Whilst the Rule of Funny can work for sitcoms - because in the end, most sitcoms are just there to make you laugh and not much more. But however... when it does come to something like Dee Cee content where it does have humor - but also has serious scenes. In media like this, when you have a character do something inconsistent for the sake of comedy... it just feels like lazy and poor writing. And I can see why it would come off as annoying to viewers than it would funny. And I do agree. I think if you want to be funny with a scene, or character - a character’s portrayal shouldn’t be sacrificed for it. Jokes just have to be rewritten in order to better fit the character.

[sapphiretsuki]

Surprise! Gift Time!

This is something I wrote while sitting next to the intended receiver. I took incredible joy in answering her questions about what I was writing with a smug “None of your business” when it was in fact very much her business. I’m kinda proud of this beast. I got a little out of control with the word count but whatevers clever right? So, without further ado, @channiesmixtape​ , this is a gift for you. I’m SO proud of the leaps and bounds you make with your writing every day and with your undying belief that I’m some sort of incredible writer. It means so much to me. (Please don’t hate me if I didn’t do your baby justice, I TIRED!) It’s untitled as of this very second, because I’m just not witty enough at this hour, but I’ll add one later when the inspiration returns.

Pairing: Bang Chan x Y/N (neighbors, enemies to lovers)

Word count: 6511 (I swear I didn’t mean to!)

Smut, masturbation, oral (m/f), unprotected sex, talk of condoms, wine, comedy, sass. If I forgot anything particularly bothersome, lemme know and I’ll fix it. Cr. to google for the lovely pic also.

It had been such a bad day all you wanted to do was go home and curl up with some wine and pet your cat and not emerge from your comfort cocoon for days if you could help it. Your boss was a total thunder cunt. People apparently lacked any form of common sense. Basic decency was no where to be found from anyone at all today. You missed a package because the tracking info was incorrect, so now you were going to have to squeeze that into your Monday somehow. Great. Thank fuck it was Friday.

You unlocked the door to your apartment and chucked the keys in the general direction of the kitchen as you were slipping your black pumps off. Your cat, Whispurr, was doing his daily dance around your ankles now that you were home and could tend to his kingly nature. Oh you loved that little butthole. Even though he threw up on the floor and started your days spiral into the land of what in the actual fuck when you stepped in it. He was still basically all you had and asshole or not he was there for you in his weird catty way. "Hey buddy, I'll get you some food in just a sec. Lemme just slip out of these terrible hose and I'll be right back." You leaned down and gave him a little scratch under his chin for good measure before nodding and heading to your room.

Once in your room you wasted no time at all peeling the awful pantyhose from your legs. Somebody had decided that full on business attire was a must today for the outings to meet with clientele and so you were forced to leave the comfort of your pants and blazer for something 'more feminine' as your boss had put it. She had absolutely no idea and it killed you every time she opened her mouth. The amount of time you spent covering for her and cleaning up behind her with clients all day since she'd decided to leave the office and 'tag along' to 'express her thanks' was exhausting. In the midst of peeling off the hose you decided that a nice scalding shower would be the start of your fix-it list for the evening. You finished undressing and threw a robe on before tiptoeing back to the kitchen.

Cat and then clean. That was absolutely the correct order, because your cat would most certainly do something heinous in retaliation if you neglected to feed him in a timely manner. You're sure his level of sass would put actual royalty to shame. He showed up on your balcony one night a few years ago as a drowned puff that you were both unsure how he got there or if he was going to make it. A few vet visits and some paycheck to paycheck living for a bit and here he was. A permanent resident. The freeloading roommate as it were. You put his food in his bowl and added a little extra something just because. You had a feeling he was gonna need some buttering up to be your cuddle buddy while you downed wine and watched terrible Netflix.

You traipsed down the hallway and made your way into the bathroom, neglecting to grab anything to change into since you figured the robe was more than enough for a session on the couch with the remote and a glass. You cranked the shower to scalding and decided you were going to unwind in the tub after you scrubbed off. Bless the water heaters in your complex, you paid enough for the damn utilities, that knob also got turned to hot and you tossed in a bomb and some dry flower stuff your friend swore by. It smelled good and thats really all your tired body cared about in that moment. After stepping into the shower and relishing in the heat meant to melt the skin off lesser mortals, you lathered up your loofah and scrubbed like there was a fire in the building and you needed to get out. The same speed was applied to your hair, which left you free and clear to melt into the tub and not move until the water was cold if you chose.

Feeling moderately better than you did when you walked in the door, you decided music was an excellent companion for a good soak and set about cranking the volume on your phone and hitting the shuffle button before laying it on the counter. The tenor voice of the man singing that began pouring out of the phone speaker immediately had you feeling the pangs of need and you squeezed your legs together as you pursed your lips in thought. It had been quite some time since you'd had a casual lay. Partly because your last friend with benefits turned into some sort of possessive psycho and partly because your newish neighbor was insufferable and somehow always managed to ruin your recent date situations. You were convinced the universe had conspired against you and the root of it was your stupid and ridiculously hot neighbor, Christopher. He hated when you called him that and it served him right.

Resigning yourself to the fact that you were just going to have to be your own relief tonight, you sunk into the tub and let the silky water wash over your tired and needy body. One song melted into another and you couldn't resist the urge to reach down and take care of your sudden desire. You knew if you let it be you'd just be miserable later and the whole mission this evening was following the theme of fix it. Not one to be anything less than straightforward, you began to slip your fingers into your doubly slick folds and stroked a little before you felt entirely too impatient to drag the process out. You hooked your fingers into your warm channel and began to stroke and scissor your fingers while your thumb pressed firm circles on your clit. You hoped the music and sloshing sounds from the water were enough to cover the sounds of what it was you were doing since the walls weren't the greatest in the bathroom area in terms of thickness. Shared plumbing and all that. You were so close to completion, right on the precipice of sweet release when you heard a loud crash in your apartment the general direction of your living room.

You quickly wrap a towel around your body and then make your way as swiftly to the front of your apartment as wet feet would allow. You skipped flipping lights on in favor of the element of surprise. Heart just about thumping out of your chest, you round the corner and turn on a single light, but don't see anything apparently out of place. It dawns on you at that moment that you are still essentially dripping wet and flew to the scene of some nonexistent crime practically naked. What if someone had been standing there waiting? You heart rate spikes at the thought and you felt anxious again. So much for your relaxing bath. Deciding you'd investigate the cause of the sound more closely after you felt more secure, you turned to make your way back down the hallway to put some clothes on, there was no way you were just going to be lounging in only a robe after that ordeal. The idea crossed your mind that perhaps you should double check the lock on the door at the very least, and ever the indecisive individual, you turn again and head towards the door instead. As you near the door you hear something and stop dead in your tracks. It sounded like feet on the concrete and now your heart was ratcheting it's way into your throat.

Completely convinced now that someone had in fact been in your house, you began to hatch a wild plan. With a burst of courage that was probably completely unfounded, you grabbed a vase off the console table nearby and in a rush flung the door open with a shout. "Who the fuck are you and what were you doing in my home?!" You screeched as you made to throw the potentially deadly item at the perpetrator. Much to your dismay, you hadn't remembered your current state of mostly undress and as you went to throw the vase your towel decided it had had enough and fell. What happened next could only be something from a terrible comedy and as you attempted to snatch at the only barrier between you and semi public indecency you somehow got tangled up and not only failed to throw the vase you ended up on the floor sans towel and with your bare ass exposed to whoever was standing there, glass all around you.

"Woah sweetheart, woah!" You'd know that accent anywhere. Of all the people that could have been on the other side of your door, why him? Why the man that in equal measures infuriated you and was the star of many restless nights and wet dreams. Anger was at the forefront and as you scrambled to retrieve your cover you spat at him "Christopher you have less than five seconds to explain yourself, and for fucks sake quit gawking at me! What in the hell are you doing here? Were you in my apartment?"

"Slow down little lady, I was not in your apartment." He said while waving his hands in front of himself to signal that he wasn't a threat. Those same hands that you found your eyes fixated on on more than one occasion, including now. Shaking the thought away you asked "Then what the hell are you doing? And don't try to tell me you weren't outside my door, I heard you pacing." He had the decency to look a little sheepish at that, and while you secured the towel around yourself he said "Your lights were all off but I heard a loud crash and worried that something happened here." It made sense, but you were still angry. And embarrassed. Not only had he seen you completely naked,  he looked completely unbothered while you were still contemplating his long fingers and stupid beautiful face and body and damn it you were staring again. Of course he showed up in a pair of grey sweats that left you sweating yourself. And was he shirtless? Could this day get any worse? You just wanted to get to that bottle of wine and curl up into a ball and hope that the earth opened up and swallowed you whole. Shaking off the stupor once again you remembered your second problem, namely the glass that was now all around you from your valiant attempt at thief catching. You were going to have to ask for his help up.

Gritting your teeth you prepared yourself for the inevitable smug look you knew he was going to sport when you opened your mouth to ask him for something. "Christopher, would you mind helping me up, I'm kind of, uh, stuck here."  You knew it was coming, but nothing could ever prepare you for the damn dimple. Stupid attractive man. "Now sweetheart," he drawled, "Is that really any way to ask someone for help? And I believe I've told you many times to call me Chan."  Fine if he was going to be stubborn, you could also be stubborn. You looked up to him standing in your doorway and in the most saccharine voice you could muster, you cocked your head to the side and said "Channie, I really need help up. Can you help me please?" He audibly gulped and you counted that as two wins because finally the bastard was showing something other than a ridiculous level of cocky charm, and now he should have no qualms with helping you.

He took too long to move and you figured he was plotting again, so being the headstrong brat that you were you started to move yourself. As you were about to plant your palm on the ground next to you he suddenly snatched your arm with  warning, " That's dangerous, just let me help you foolish woman." It was your turn to flounder as the feeling of his palm wrapped around your slim arm felt like fire and suddenly there were no more smart comebacks because you felt breathless. In one swift motion he pulled you to your feet and and then swept you literally off your feet. He had you in a firemans hold and began to make his way into your apartment, carefully dodging the shards of glass. Was your heart going to catch a break tonight? What was with this turn of events. He must have noticed your shiver because he picked up the pace and set you down gently on the other side of the disaster zone. "Go put some clothes on you must be freezing, I'll sweep this up. Where do you keep your broom?"

You wanted to protest. You really wanted him far away because you were on fire and didn't think you could even begin to have a normal interaction in your current state without being a complete mess. Breathless is how you felt, and the only saving grace is that he thought you were cold, not terribly turned on. Hell, you were still trying to process the feel of being pressed against that body almost nude yourself. Instead fuckery appeared and logical words came out. Well you weren't stuttering at least. "It's in the kitchen in the closet. I really appreciate your help, I was going to have a glass of wine to take the edge off my bad day, would you like one also? As uh, thanks for your help?" You sounded meek and you wanted to kick yourself. All of the adrenaline was gone and you were left with a weird mixture of relief and panic for a completely different reason now. He must have misunderstood because all he said with his back to you, already on a mission to help you again, was "Y/N. Go put some clothes on." You must have sounded weak to him when you said okay because he turned and his features softened. "I'll still be here when you come out, it's okay now, you're safe."

You didn't feel safe though as you padded back to your room in search of clothes. You felt rattled and hot.Your own body was set to betray you. Did the air conditioner break or something? It was just your neighbor helping you out. Your gorgeous neighbor. With a voice that should have been relegated to hotlines. Neighbors were friendly, right? What were you expecting anyways, it's not like you guys were the nicest to each other regularly. That's right, he himself must revel in your pain since he constantly was the source of dates ending on your doorstep and never amounting to more. His timing was something else. You realized you'd been standing in the middle of your room for too long and moved to put clothes on. Digging through your drawers you grabbed a super lacy pair of panties along with some shorts and a large t-shirt. You weren't trying to impress anyone, but underwear should always be beautiful was your policy. there was nothing wrong with a little self indulgence.

Perhaps you could call it a new beginning of sorts with him tonight. The extension of an olive branch in the form of a friendly glass of wine should aid that. Yes, friendly. You needed to pull yourself together and get your head out of the gutter. It didn't matter how wet he made your panties since there was very obviously no way that was ever gonna go anywhere. Shaking all thoughts of risque situations away, you took a towel to your hair and gave it a quick rub down before grabbing your brush from the vanity and tackling your tangles. Feeling a little less hot and a little bit more brave you made your way back down the hallway toward the kitchen to assess the damage and test your newfound bravery with the man who starred in a lot of your fantasies. You weren't going there. Nope. Nuh-uh. Olive branches. That's what you would focus on.

You quietly approached the kitchen granting yourself one tiny moment to enjoy the view of Chan's back muscles as you saw him putting the broom back in the closet. He really should put a shirt on. "So, whats the damage?" You called out to get his attention. He spun on his heel and looked you up and down. You could swear you saw something in his eyes, but refusing to play into any delusions, you pressed onward, "everything okay in here? You didn't happen to see what the mysterious crash was all about did you?" He rubbed the back of his neck and dammit his abs, and that delicious v that trailed down into those wretched sweats he was wearing, and were you drooling? What the fuck. You quickly rubbed your mouth with the back of your hand and hoped he hadn't noticed. "Well a bit of bad news, sugar, your cat, quite charming little guy by the way, or maybe thats just his drunk showing?" He scratched his chin and made a face that reminded you of that stupid thinking emoji and you bit back a smile. "Well, your cat appears to have acquired a taste for the red, bit of a lush it seems. He either knocked your bottle down or it fell. Either way, he's been in the booze." Your eyes darted to where he was pointing and sure enough there was your little asshole sitting in the middle of the kitchen licking the purple off his white tipped paws. He had bits of purple around his mouth and was he swaying? "WHISPURR!" you shouted and the little jerk just gave you a look like he couldn't be bothered.

Totally frustrated now, you threw your arms in the air and let out a sound of pure exasperation. Chan must have found it funny because he let out a little chuckle before you shot him a glare that could freeze fire. "It is absolutely NOT funny. This day has been one bad thing on top of another and now my damn cat is even in on it. I was really looking forward to that damn glass of wine" You felt like you were genuinely on the verge of tears and Chan started to approach you. He put his hands on your shoulders and said, "Hey, hey. It'll be okay. I have an idea. While its probably not as nice as what your cat had a taste for, my little sister left a few bottles of wine over at my place the last time she was fighting with her boyfriend and took it upon herself to come crash there. How about I go grab one or two and we can watch something and you can forget all about your day?" You felt drained and could do nothing but nod. His body in proximity to yours was doing things to your sanity. Part of you thought this was a bad idea and you should just thank him and send him on his way, but there was another part of you that was excited at the prospect of spending some time with him without animosity involved. Hopefully the bastard put a shirt on before he came back.

You told him you'd just leave the door unlocked if he was going to be quick and set about making some popcorn. You were gonna coat it in butter and too bad if he didn't like it. If this night was going to be full of bad decisions the least you were going to allow yourself were the extra calories. You grabbed two glasses and the bowl of popcorn and set off for the living room to set up the streaming services while you awaited his return. After you got everything powered on you went to the linen closet to toss some fluffy blankets at the couches. As you made it back to the living room he had reappeared with a bottle in each hand. Much to your dismay he still lacked a shirt and now you began to wonder if you were going to be able to focus on whatever you decided to watch at all. Whatever, it's not like you were taking a test on the content. He had a bottle of red, and a bottle of white, so you took the white off his hands and headed to the kitchen. You threw the bottle in the fridge and grabbed the corkscrew before making your way back to the living room. You expertly popped the cork on the bottle and then turned to him and asked, "So any preference to what we watch? I realize I know very little about your likes." He seemed to get a kick out of that but answered anyway "Can we watch something action? I've kinda had a long day and don't want to fall asleep. Bonus points if it includes Chris Hemsworth, he's my mancrush." He threw a wink at you and that smile that made that cursed dimple pop and now you found yourself on autopilot and typing the franchise name into the search bar. Did he realize how dangerous his behavior was?

"Okay sit wherever, I threw tons of cushions and blankets and junk around, make yourself comfortable." He nodded and made to sit on the couch you were hoping he'd avoid. Like hell you were going to sit anywhere other than front and center though so your stubborn popped out again and as nonchalantly as you could, you plopped down next to him and covered your legs with one of the throw blankets you had laying around. Scooting your ass to the edge of the couch you leaned towards the coffee table and poured a glass for each of you. You turned to hand one to him and could have sworn he was staring at your ass. You disregarded the thought and raised your glass his direction to toast. "Thank you for all your help this evening." He raised his glass to meet yours and added on "It was really not a problem sugar." The way the word sugar rolled off his tongue. Sugah. You gulped and raised your cup. Clinking glasses you both took a swig and you snatched the remote up to hit play.

As the movie rolled you found yourself sneaking glances every so often, even though you swore that you were going to leave well enough alone. Maybe it was the wine finally letting the tension leave your body, but you didn't feel as on edge as you had and maybe thats where the bravery was coming from. Your best friend often told you you didn't think things through. You hadn't been paying attention to the movie and a loud blast made you jump and suddenly his attention was on you. Busted. "Baby girl, am I really so interesting? You've been looking at me an awful lot." And there was that smug look you were so accustomed to again. This man was so infuriating. It was your own fault though. As usual you couldn't leave well enough alone and found yourself in the spotlight. Self preservation attempted to kick in and you scoffed. "You're insane. Don't think so highly of yourself, I just wanted to make sure you weren't actually falling asleep since you said you were tired," you attempted feigning ignorance. "Well yeah, lets say I'm a little crazy. Sugar the fault is all your own though. I'm trying my very best to be a gentleman here and you're doing everything in your power to make that impossible."

Movie long forgotten you let your emotions get the better of you and out came the word vomit. "Look, I'm well aware that you hate me, but you don't get to come in here and be rude. I'm trying to patch whatever this THIS is between us," you say as you swing your hands between the two of you to convey the things words are failing to express. You continue, "Don't think that just because you're stupidly attractive with your stupid dimples and your stupid abs and your stupidly sexy voice that you can just oomf-" Suddenly his mouth was on yours swallowing the words you  were endlessly spewing and you froze as he wrapped his muscular arms around you body and pulled you closer. You gasped as you realized his mouth was actually on yours and he used the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Throwing all caution to the wind and keeping true to your typical do first ask later nature, you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back with all the passion you could muster. Long held frustrations coming out, you explored his mouth like it was an oasis in the desert and you were a weary traveller seeking respite.

Breathing heavily you broke away from the kiss in need of oxygen and searched his face for any sign of regret. Instead you were smacked with such a look of lust that the air in the room felt heavy again and before you could screw it up by opening your mouth you decided to put it to better use. You climbed on top of him straddling his lap and kissed him again. This time he froze, but undeterred you felt around for his arm without breaking the kiss and raised his hand to your chest. You felt relief when he squeezed your breast and he gasped. "You're not wearing a bra," he panted out. "Of course you're not wearing a bra. Are you literally trying to kill me Y/N? I already told you I was trying to be a gentleman, and look at what you're doing to me. Baby girl I'm not going to be able to stop if this goes any further." You were suddenly aware of just how rock hard he was as he shifted in discomfort and his cock grazed your clit though the layers of clothes between you. "So don't." you said, "Don't stop Chan. Show me just what I'm supposedly doing to you." He growled and flipped you off his lap and was on top of you in an instant caging you in between those gorgeous arms of his. He leaned in and his hot breath on your ear made your already ruined underwear feel like a dam about to burst. He whispered in your ear, "Baby girl, I'm gonna fuck you until you can't walk tomorrow, but you're far too dressed for that right now." He nipped at you ear before moving to take your shirt off.

You were in awe of his rippling abs as he pulled himself upright when your face reappeared from the inside of the gigantic shirt. Brushing his bangs out of his face he leaned down and began pressing open mouthed kisses from you hipbone up your stomach and to the valley between your breasts. He enclosed his lips around one of your nipples, sucking fiercely, and began to rub the other between his thumb and forefinger. You felt your nipples tighten to the point that it was almost painful and began to squirm with need. He reached down and stilled you with a hand on your hip, "Ah ah, we'll get there sugar, but I' gonna take my sweet time. I'm supposed to be showing you right? Where's the fun if it's over too fast?" He hooked his fingers in the waistband of your tiny shorts and in one swift motion slid them down your legs. Taking a moment to appreciate you in nothing but a pair of sinfully sexy panties you could swear he growled again as he roughly pulled the crotch of them aside and slid those illegal fingers of his through the incredibly wet folds hidden within. "Look at how wet you are. What exactly has you so drenched Y/N? Hmmm?" He made to wipe his fingers off on his sweats but you snatched his wrist and brought the digits to your mouth. Slowly swirling your tongue around them, the taste of yourself foreign, you watched his eyes widen and his incredible smile appeared again. He peeled the panties off you and took another moment to appreciate your fully nude body. You suddenly felt exposed since he still had clothes on and you were completely naked. "It's not fair if I'm the only one naked Chan," you pouted.

He let out a lighthearted laugh and stood up to take his pants off. He was smirking at you when he looked your direction, you must have been staring but the anticipation was killing you at this point and you didn't care. "You still have too much on." you stated matter-of-factly. His boxer briefs were barely containing the tent and you were pretty sure you could see a wet spot on the front of them. He gave a shrug and went to remove them and his cock sprang free of the confines. Okay now you were definitely salivating. Was it okay to call a cock pretty? His was beautiful and you found yourself wanting to devour it whole. You're sure he picked up on your increased desire but you were completely uninhibited and shameless now and the words were out before you could think twice. "Can I taste you?" He moved to stand in front of you and you sat up greedy and impatient. You wrapped your hand around the base of it and took a moment to appreciate the large vein running up the underside. It reminded you of the veins in his hands and arms and you licked your lips before wrapping your mouth around the head and sucking down the length of it. You could see his hands clench into fists as you began to bob your head up and down and hollow your cheeks as you swallowed around the girth of him. There was drool running down your chin and he was so big you couldn't take all of him so you gripped what you couldn't and stroked in time with the motion of your head. You could hear him panting and feel the twitching and pulsing as you picked up the pace. He pulled away and your lips left his cock with a pop. "As fantastic as your mouth feels wrapped around my cock, I have some other things in mind babe, I wanna cum buried inside that sweet pussy of yours"

You clamped your legs together tighter as the thought of his dick confined inside you had you feeling like you were a faucet. You were sure there was a large puddle on your couch you were going to have to deal with later but you couldn't be bothered to care just yet. Standing, you grabbed his hand and proceeded to move down the hallway towards your room. Once you cleared the doorway you spun on your heel and on tiptoe pressed your mouth and body to his. You were in need of friction and figured the best way to facilitate that would be to ruffle his feathers a little. "Christopher, I thought you were going to fuck me until I couldn't walk. I'm not a very patient woman." Before you could run your mouth anymore he marched you backwards towards your bed and when the back of your knees hit the mattress he lightly shoved you and you fell backward. The fluffy comforter cushioned your fall and he was there immediately sucking bruises into your neck, his hands wildly exploring your body. He began to stroke your folds and inserted one finger and then another easily due to the overwhelming amount of fluids you were producing. He hooked his fingers and brushed that spongy spot inside that made you tremble. As he continued his assault on your neck and pussy you could feel the burning tension begin to build up in your abdomen and knew you were finally, finally close to cumming. The walls of your pussy were clamping around the rhythmic thrusts of his fingers and he also knew you were close. He abruptly pulled his fingers out and the sense of emptiness and you moaning in frustration. "Please oh my god, I'm so close, please please." you whined.

He dropped to his knees and wrenched your legs wide apart and before you could question anything at all mis mouth was on your clit and your first instinct was to clamp your legs around his head. He kept your legs spread wide and continued fucking you with his mouth. He flattened his tongue and licked a few long stripes up your pussy "I'm going to let go of your legs, I need you to be a good girl and not thrash okay?" You were so desperate for release you would have agreed to anything. "I'm not hearing yes sugar, can you do that for me?" You mustered up your voice and choked out, "Y-yes Channie," and that was all it took. He wrapped his lips around your clit and began sucking on it again while simultaneously ramming his fingers back in your dripping channel. The tension was back and you were trembling from trying to keep your legs spread. Your orgasm washed over you in waves of white hot pleasure and you came all over his tongue and fingers. He worked you through it and when the overstimulation became too much you couldn't stay splayed out any longer and let your legs fall. He pulled back with a smirk and pressed a kiss to your temple before kissing you on the mouth. You really thought you could learn to love the taste of yourself if it came from a mind blowing orgasm like that every time.

"Do you have any condoms baby girl? I'd hate to have to go next door." he asked. Your head lolled to the side, still drunk off your post orgasm high and you said, "In the drawer beside the bed, theres a brand new box. I uh, haven't gotten to use any of them. I'm also clean and on the pill." He smirked at this and you were more alert than a moment ago as you wondered what that look was about. "I know," he said cockily. "I've seen how many dates left you wanting. Pathetic excuses and all that. I've also heard you take care of yourself in the bathroom Y/N. If you've wanted me for as long as you've been using me to get off, all you had to do was say so."

You were suddenly very aware of what had been going on and didn't know whether to feel angry or embarrassed or to just take what you were finally being gifted. You decided all three were appropriate. "You little shit! You sabotaged my dates on purpose! I knew your timing every. single. time. was just too coincidental! And so what if I used you to get off?! I can throw your words back at you, if you've wanted me for that damn long how come you never said anything?" He looked like he hadn't expected your outburst, but it was going to take more than a mind blowing orgasm to make you stupid enough to not address the elephant that was now sitting in the room. "You're you. That's what. You're so funny and attractive and sassy. So sassy. It's not like you've ever given me any reason to think you actually liked me. I finally figured you out a little better tonight though, your rough exterior is definitely hiding something incredibly sweet. You don't have to be embarrassed, or hide yourself from me. I'd already fallen your your stubborn ass a long time ago."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. How was this even possible? You were both idiots. Total fools. "You stupid man." You said and he looked like you'd kicked him. "No, no, you're not stupid. We're stupid," you sighed, "if we both weren't so stupid we could have been not dancing around each other a long time ago." He looked up again and had this stupidly endearing and hopeful look on his face. You decided to show him mercy and squash the awkward situation "If you don't get over here and keep your promise to fuck me until I can't stand, I might have to reconsider my stance on this." You smirked at him now and the look of challenge on your face had him covering you again in an instant. He kissed you deeply before lining his cock up with you entrance and dragging it through your pussy lips before he entered your slick heat. The feeling of being so full after so long left you breathless, but also oddly complete. He rocked into your core slowly at first and then picked up the pace as your moans became louder. The sounds of skin slapping against skin and moans echoed throughout the room and you could feel another orgasm building. "Feels so good Chan, mmmm right there," you breathed out as he shifted and this new angle had him brushing against your g-spot with every pass. He reached down to rub circles on your clit and you completely fell apart around his dick as you moaned his name. His strokes becoming sloppy with his own impending release his hips stuttered to a stop as your pussy milked him for every drop of cum he had and he painted your insides.

Breathing heavily you admired the strength he demonstrated in not collapsing on you and as you felt him soften and slip out you suggested you guys maybe get cleaned up a little. "Mmm I don't think I wanna" he said as he nuzzled into your neck affectionately. He was impossible, and adorable, and apparently maybe yours now. "Let's at least lay in the bed the right way then, yeah?" He appeared to think about that for a moment before he stood up and pulled you to your feet. He turned down the comforter and climbed into the bed and with his dimples on full display pat the spot next to him beckoning you to join him. You shook your head and laughed but climbed in beside him. He wrapped the blanket around you both before proceeding to wrap himself around you like a koala. You can take the man out of the land, but not the land out of the man you supposed. True to his word before the night was over you were thoroughly tended to. Several times. When morning came and you truly couldn't walk very well, he brought you breakfast in bed. It was definitely the perfect turn around for the travesty that yesterday was and you were looking forward to not hating your neighbor anymore.

[pudding-head-kenma]

bruh pls lemme know some good movies to watch :-: like what're your favs bby??

 IJASKGNBINHSOKGLASKMGAS OH MY GOD I’M SO EXCITED YES :D THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TRUSTING ME W THAT I’LL RECOMMEND SOME GOOD ONES + GIVE THEIR GENRE/SYNOPSIS . PROBABLY LONG LIST BELOW THE CUT !!: 

1. LET’S START WITH MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE MOVIE: mulholland drive - a drama, a mystery and lowkey a thriller - after a car crash, a woman loses her memory. she finds help from a young actress that just recently came to hollywood and together they try to get her memory back, and find out why the amnesiac woman has so much money on her. as they get involved in mysteries, schemes and the hidden parts of hollywood, they fall deeper into a world that they aren’t even sure is real.

2. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind - i would call this a romantic drama! - basically it’s about a couple whose relationship turns sour, and they decide to get a procedure that will delete their memories of each other. it’s honestly such an interesting movie and it’s really tense as you watch strangers, once lovers, dance around each other and systematically forget they have done it

3. magnolia - i would call this a drama - it’s basically a bunch of stories complied into a movie, with characters SEEMINGLY unrelated trying to learn about love, forgiveness, and the meaning of life, lives separated but much closer than they know

4. the music never stopped - drama! - it’s basically the story of a father trying to bond with his estranged son, who recently discovered he has a brain tumour that prevents him from forming new memories. his dad, left without a choice, tries to connect with him through music

5. american beauty - drama - it’s really hard to give this a synopsis, and the ones i see aren’t all that accurate. it’s true that a suburban dad has a lot of sexual frustration, but that’s not necessarily the essence of a movie - it’s a family with a lot of pent up feelings, frustrations, and others

6. gisaengchung (parasite) - drama, thriller(?) - i think everyone might know this movie already but it’s definitely worth mentioning! it’s hard to describe, but try to think of the differences between a high class family and a lower class one. what if hte lower class starts trying to profit from the others? that’s when greed comes into play

7. byōsoku go senchimētoru (5 centimeters per second) - i’d call this a romantic drama, but not with all the focus on romance. romance is the undertone for the drama - this is an animated movie told in 3 instances of someone’s life, when he fell in love as a child, when he lost that love as a teen, and when he’s trying to get over that love, surrounded by the cold world and adult obligations.

8. lost in translation - drama, comedy (i say comedy not bc it’s a comedy just because it’s light hearted yknow) - a washed out actor travels to tokyo for a commercial, where he meets a young woman. they form a bond and start an unlikely friendship. 

9. the night of the hunter - it’s a noir film, i’d say a bit more than thriller but not exactly HORROR, crime - a religious fanatic marries into the family of a gullible widow and her two kids. only the kids know their father hid $10,000 from a bank robbery, and there’s something strange about their step dad.

10. beasts of the southern wild - adventure, drama, fantasy (?) - this is a really good take on environmental issues in my opinion. a six year old has to learn courage and love as she deals with her father's fading health and melting ice-caps that are flooding her ramshackle bayou community

11. green room - horror, thriller - a punk rock band is forced to fight for survival after witnessing a murder at a bar. this movie is so nice to watch because it flows really well and you feel really tense

12.  inglourious basterds - war, drama, adventure - in france, during the second world war, a group of jewish u.s soldiers come up with a plan to take down nazi leaders, not knowing the owner of a theatre is planning something with the same objective

13. amour - drama, romance -  an octogenarian couple’s love is tested when the wife has a stroke, and the husband sees himself forced to change his whole life to take care of her. 

14. rosemary’s baby - thriller, horror(?) - a young couple trying to have a baby moves into a fancy apartment, surrounded by peculiar neighbours. once the wife gets pregnant, she becomes convinced that the neighbours are trying to steal her baby for a satantic cult

15. moonlight - drama - the struggles of childhood, adolescence and adulthood, as told by an african american man struggling with his identity and sexuality. 

16. el laberinto del fauno (pan’s labyrinth) - drama, war, i’d say thriller sometimes -  in the falangist spain in 1944, a bookish young stepdaughter of a sadistic army officer escapes into an eerie but captivating fantasy world

17. oldeuboi - action, mystery - a man is kidnapped and kept prisoner for 15 years. once he’s finally out, he discovers he has to find his captor in 5 days so he can find out why he was kidnapped. in the meantime, he starts a peculiar involvement with a much younger woman, and uncovers secrets he didn’t know he had kept

18. låt den rätte komma in (let the right one in) - crime, drama, fantasy(?) - an overlooked and peculiar boy finds love and revenge in an even more peculiar girl

19. birdman (or the unexpected virtue of ignorance) -  a washed-up superhero actor attempts to revive his fading career by writing, directing, and starring in a broadway production. this movie’s synopsis doesn’t give it the proper emphasis but it’s so good. it’s also all shot in the sequence of a day (obviously there’s cuts, but you can’t see them so it looks like only 1 shot and it becomes an amazing experience)

20. the blair witch project - horror -  three film students vanish after traveling into a Maryland forest to film a documentary on the local Blair Witch legend, leaving only their footage behind. this movie was one of the first ‘found footage’ films that really sent the genre flying, i would highly recommend

21. for the same reasons above, i recommend [REC] (the spanish one), as it also brought found footage films to the public in the beginning. it’s about a journalist who finds herself stuck on a building with the infected, since the police decided to sacrifice everyone inside for the sake of the virus not getting out.

22. salinui chueok (memories of murder) [trigger: mention of r*pe]  - action, crime, drama - in a small Korean province in 1986, two detectives struggle with the case of multiple young women being found raped and murdered by an unknown culprit

23. once - music, drama - a story about a pianist and a guitarist coming together and trying to live out their struggles through music. 

24. gokseong (the wailing) - mystery, horror, thriller - soon after a stranger arrives in a little village, a mysterious sickness starts spreading. a policeman, drawn into the incident, is forced to solve the mystery in order to save his daughter.

[otakween]

Flower Action 009-1 (1969) - Episode 1

Oh dear...the things I watch for the sake of completionism. This was hilariously bad but kind of in a “so bad it’s good” sort of way. I rarely venture into live action anime territory but when I do it’s always...interesting to say the least. This show actually has almost nothing to do with the 009-1 manga. I think they just took the name so that they could take advantage of an existing fanbase? It’s only 13 episodes so I’m committed. 

-OH OH NINE ONE! OH OH NINE ONE! That theme song is gonna be stuck in my head for weeks and it’s not even good...

-Somehow the aesthetic is the best and worst part of this show. So many questionable choices but also so much 1960s goodness. Something about old timey, retro-futuristic technology is really fun. (Also the ridiculous outfits)

-So the characters are named after cards: space, club, dia, heart but then there’s just one girl named...Monkey? For some reason?? I dunno. I think she’s the comic relief. 

-The episode immediately started with straight up West Side Story dance fighting which is pretty on-brand for an Ishinomori inspired show. 

-Very confused about the “Dark Syndicate.” Some of them look like proper soldiers and some are bumbling idiots (I guess it’s like team Rocket?) Also, they speak German because...??

-Like 1/8th of the show was inexplicably in black and white for no reason. I guess it was maybe a stylistic choice but it just felt so random...

-Lots of really awkward montages of slapstick comedy and sped up shots...not sure who they think they’re audience is with how over-the-top goofy the villains are.

-Okay, real talk: are there even any cyborgs in this show? I kinda think these are just normal spies but it wasn’t really made clear in this episode. It’s pretty baffling why they’d even call this 009-1 (aside from the reason mentioned above) since none of the characters even have number names.

-I think this is the most obscure thing I’ve ever watched. I’d be kind of surprised if anyone else on tumblr has seen it. If you have, lemme know. 

[gothita]

OH! It says match ups are open? If they aren’t, ignore this, but I’m gonna shoot! I’m Oliver, I’m gay as hell and I watch a lot of anime and comedy Youtubers. (Himbo? Perhaps.) I love listening to music and just being weird in general, goofing off and talking to myself or doing weird dances when alone. No idea how to Romance (tm) but I’m a very physical person. Hug me please!! All the time!! I also have no impulse control. I’ll stay up too late or eat too much etc. love your blog and writing!!

They are, yes!!! :D I am mostly posting my writing to my sideblog @ashenhawk recently bUT I’ll just do this one here :’) Do you have a specific fandom you’re wanting a matchup from? I’m gonna guess Obey Me since that’s what most of the ones I’ve done are for but if you wanted something else lemme know!!!

Im gonna match you up with Mammon!!

You sound like... Mammon but less stupid and while Mammon could do with someone mature and experienced, you also fit his ‘type’ because the two of you can just be big ol goofballs together.

Levi might be the anime fan in the family but I can absolutely see Mammon enjoying YouTubers! He’d bust a gut laughing at them with you, and if you teach him how to use the site on his own he’d probably end up liking unboxing and merch haul videos and would try to show them to you lmao

Mammon would think your weird lil dances and stuff are adorable! He’d catch you doing it once and then keep an eye out for it from then on because it makes his heart flutter to watch you.

But if you were to catch him staring at you secretly he’d blush and be like “I was NOT admiring you I just!!! happened to be walking by!!!”

Mammon would love your physical affection. He’d be out there dropping hints he wants you to cling to him and rely on him all the time, and any time you actually do it he turns red as a tomato because you’re the cutest person in the entire world in his eyes.

You got no impulse control? That’s great ‘cuz neither does Mammon! If you went shopping together he’d want to buy you all sorts of stuff, and try to talk you into buying everything you desire too.

He might actually be willing to work a steady job for the sake of being able to buy you your every whim to be honest.

Your himbo vibes would bring out that protective side in him too and you’ll get to see the surprisingly mature side Mammon can show at times.

[artificialqueens]

Not Today Satan: Airports Are A Drag (Biadore) - doctor bitchcraftt

A little airport innuendo and miscommunication. Special appearance of the other meaning of “drag” for the lovely jillybean2314.  From my “Not Today, Satan” collection of one-shots.

I know they seem to fly Delta most often, but the Virgin Atlantic Lounges I’ve been in are some of the most luxurious and actually have table service, etc. free of charge (mostly because the cost of the ticket itself is outrageous).  Also?  If you haven’t seen the video of Adore dragging Bianca, you’re missing comedy gold.  Xoxoxoxo, bitchcraftt

********

“Oh my- hee hehehe…lemme….lemme see our video!” Bianca curled on her side around the luggage cart, still snickering helplessly.  Adore wasn’t in much better shape, although she managed to stay upright and kept hold of her phone.  The jaded travelers at LAX didn’t even spare a passing glance for whatever chain of events had her on the floor, moving around the two of them to continue on.

Bianca’s wicked cackle and rough chuckle were familiar sounds to anyone who had seen her on stage or at a meet and greet, but the high pitched giggles were a rarer treat.  (Alaska commented once that she didn’t know how someone with a voice that low could spiral upwards into soprano territory so easily.)  The breathless, staccato gasps of laughter were usually reserved for moments of true hilarity or silliness, and Adore liked to think that the fact she heard them so often meant something significant.

“Where’re we going, anyway?  I’m hungry."  

"The loun…the lounge.  Hehehe hee hee-" Bianca, who was finally standing again and wiping tears from her eyes, trailed off again and clutched her stomach.

They headed down the concourse with occasional pauses for lingering giggle fits, finally reaching the Virgin Atlantic Club.  Adore made a show of looking around after their boarding passes were approved, taking in the softer lighting, abundant seating options, and overall isolation from the hustle and bustle going on outside the doors.

"Wow,” she whispered as they picked a pair of comfortable chairs in an isolated corner, “this is awesome!  You always get this?”

Bianca smiled indulgently.

“Yeah, it’s called flying first class queen.  Gotta have some perks to dragging my ass all over the world.  Why don’t you,” she gave Adore’s stomach a pointed look as it rumbled loudly and smiled at the staff member approaching, “take a look at the menu and decide on something to eat?”

After ordering cocktails and entrees, Bianca sat back and watched Adore with her nose buried in the menu, flipping pages in open-mouthed wonder.  Bianca privately thought she played up the slowness for comedic effect, but this time she seemed to be genuinely excited.

Years of traveling economy left Bianca with a great appreciation for lounges, even if she wasn’t always one hundred percent awake to enjoy them.  Mostly she was grateful to have a quiet place to sit with multiple power outlets, a chance to shower, and a decent selection of vegetarian options.

The young woman returned with their drinks and assured them that their meals wouldn’t take long.  Bianca was torn between sighing in long-suffering exasperation or being amused when Adore winked at her after accepting the glass.

“I don’t think she’s your type, Delano,” she murmured over the rim of her cocktail.  “Probably want to try flirting with the guy behind the desk instead.”

“Hey, I liked her energy,” Adore protested.  “She feels really calm.”

They fell back into comfortable silence until Adore’s oversized sandwich and Bianca’s flatbread platter arrived.

Once the plates were cleared (and a second set of drinks ordered), Adore started paging through the menu again.  She surfaced a few minutes later to nudge Bianca with her elbow.

“B?”

“Mmmm?"  Bianca didn’t look up from where she was composing a scathing, all-caps reply to an online troll.  "Find something else you’d like?”

“Wanna have a quickie?”

Vodka cranberry burned its way up Bianca’s sinuses as she sputtered, half sure she’d heard wrong.

“…what?”

Dabbing at her watering eyes with a napkin, Bianca shook her head to clear it.  

“I’m…say that again.”

Adore tilted her head in confusion but complied.  

“Do you want to have a quickie?"  She glanced at the time on her phone, handing Bianca another napkin for her sudden coughing fit.  "I think we have time before the flight?”

“Are you-” Bianca took a steadying breath and started again.  “Are you that hard up?”

“…uhhhh, for what?”

“Sex."  Adore’s puzzled frown was both infuriating and cute.  ”…SEX!“

"No…what’s that have to do with it?”

Bianca emptied her glass in one final gulp, trying to determine why Adore would sound so casual after propositioning her.

“You just asked for a quickie.”

“Yeah?”

“I - oh for fuck’s sake, here?  Now?  With me?”

“Uhhh,” Adore blinked slowly, “I don’t see anyone else I know in here.  And I’m still hungry.”

The table rattled a little as Bianca leaned forward on it until their faces were almost touching.

“Why. Would. You. Ask. Me. For. A. Quickie?”

Eyes widening, Adore turned the menu around to face her, pointing halfway down the page.

“Oh my god.  It’s spelled Q-U-I-C-H-E.  Quiche!"

tags: bianca del rio, adore delano, biadore, canon compliant, fluff, humor, doctor bitchcraftt, not today satan