#BRING BACK ALFRED

[supermxnthathoe]

Sometimes I'm just sitting there happily and then I remember that DC killed Alfred off in the main continuity.

I keep waiting for a 'syke he's alive' moment -WHICH WE DID GET IN BATMAN versus ROBIN- but it turned out it was just a demon cosplaying Alfred to trick Batman for Damian's hot great granny.

DC keeps wounding me and then refusing to give me bandages.

Not only was the way he died absolutely tragic BUT THE SHIT BRUCE SAYS TO DAMIAN AFTERWARDS.

It wasn't cute. It wasn't funny. DC needs to take it back rn because my feelings can't handle this.

(if you're curious about when Alfred dies; it's Batman #77-- I'm not sure when it is that the demon pretends to be him but it's sometime in Batman Vs Robin.

Damian also briefly hallucinates Alfred in his solo Robin run, which is Robin Vol 5 which happens almost directly after the events of Batman #77 and that whole debacle and follows the Lazarus Tournament storyline- READ IT, IT's SO GOOD)

[the-exhausted-xexandaler]

So I hear that Bruce Wayne’s butler/guardian/body guard/surrogate father figure Alfred Pennyworth has been MIA for four years. Why? Is he on a vacation?

What I wanna see if Alfred return but he’a oddly you ger than he originally was. By like a generous age gap like 40-50 years younger. But still Batman’s butler inside and out. Just now with a much more limber back.

And it turns out the reason he vanished was because he got topes into some kinda experiment that would help him protect his charge Bruce, and the age reversion is just an added bonus to becoming stonger and faster.

Thank you all for coming to my Headcanon Tonight Show. Free conspiracy theories are underneath your chairs. Go ham kids.

[betterthanbatman1]

Instead of: Batman leaves Jason alone with Sheila in Bosnia

I give you: Batman leaves Jason alone at the checkout line to go grab the milk he forgot

[title]

Barbara Stanwyck as Lily Powers Baby Face (1933), directed by Alfred E. Green

[theerurishipper]

Honestly, I do love Dick as Nightwing and Bruce and Dick's complicated relationship, but sometimes I like the old days when things were sweet and simple you know? When it was just them and Alfred and they all had fun with each other. Like when they blew off boring parties to go on patrol by using Dick's bedtime as an excuse. When Bruce let Dick go off on his own and said he was allowed "a little escapade" and ruffled his hair. When Alfred always brought coffee and "turkey sandwiches with Swiss cheese" to the Batcave while Dick and Bruce happily talked about their nightlife escapades. When Dick would make Bruce laugh regularly.

When they discussed Hamlet while riding in the Batmobile. When Alfred picked Dick up from school and dropped him off on dates and helped him go behind Bruce's back on cases. When Dick and Bruce would play fight with each other. When Dick made Batman's meetings with Gordon "more optimistic." When Bruce was being a helicopter parent and wanting to know why Dick would want to go to a public school. When Dick would sneak off with Clark when Bruce wanted him to stay back to finish his homework, and Clark did it for him before Bruce noticed. When Bruce teased Dick about his failed date, and they talked about it and their love lives. When Bruce apparently told stories about Joker to Dick during rides in the Batmobile. When Dick was actually the one who named the aforementioned Batmobile. When they would banter even in between a serious case. When Dick would cling onto Bruce to annoy him. When Dick was contemplating how alone he felt, and Bruce just showed up to catch him and do a routine on the trapeze with him. When Bruce would call Dick "kiddo." When Dick even called him stuff like "Bruce-ter." When Bruce used to call Dick "chum." I miss those days.

Yeah a lot of these are from Robin: Year One but that's just because it's the one I remember most. But there's a lot of them just having a good time and it doesn't feel like we see a lot of that anymore.

[flamingpudding]

Nice Cosplay, dude!

It was supposed to be a simple mission. Just get in, beat the criminals, dismantle the bomb and get out again, preferably with no injuries so they all would get to enjoy Alfred's cookies at the end of the night.

But no. Of course things couldn't be simple. Not when Constantine suddenly enters their coms, screaming something about a multidimensional rip and then Jason shouting something about seeing a whirlpool of green that feels very very bad and then Dick started cursing at B being stubborn and....

Tim buried his face in his hands. At least thanks to Jason seeing that Lazarus Pit like Portal everyone believed him this time that Bruce was still alive but this time not lost in time but apparently thrown into another dimension. Though that wasn't making the situation any better. Because Tim was sure Alfred was the only reason the Manor was still standing otherwise his siblings and himself included would have destroyed it by now.

Damian's enraged shout echoed through the Cave, followed by another death threat made by Jason and then Dick's attempt at being the voice of reason. Dear god, they needed to figure out where B was or someone might die.... or at least get maimed by his siblings be it a criminal or one of them.

Hopefully Constantin or anyone else of the JL Dark will have figured out in which dimension B had gotten thrown into.

Meanwhile...

Batman was staring down at the white-haired kid with Lazarus green glowing eyes wearing a jumpsuit and still had green splatter on his cheeks. The kid was grinning at him with big round eyes that reminded him of Dick when he was younger.

He would have believed the kid innocent if it weren't for 1. The glowing green eyes that reminded him of his second oldest phases of pit madness and 2. The fact that he had just watched the kid beat up a ghost like being he, Batman, had not been able to land a single hit on before imprisoning that being into a thermos.

The kid clearly was a vigilante in the working and for a split second Bruce wondered how his children would react to an interdimensional sibling if he mentored the kid. First of all... the boy needed more protection. That flimsy suit was not offering enough of that. Second the kid should wear a mask. Running around with his face openly in view would only spell trouble for the boy and thitd training the kid needed to learn-

"Wow dude, that's an awesome cosplay of Batman! It looks like it's right out of the comics!"

Batmans thoughts on mentoring the kid came to a screeching halt as he stared at the kid. And gruffly repeated. "Comics?"

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 311

Alien biology is weird. Liminal biology? Even weirder. 

Ecto? Very much a wellspring for creation despite its association with death. Or rather undeath, but that’s a debate that many a realms denizen has tried to find the answer of. Usually there weren’t many liminals- ecto contaminated, yes, but enough to form Cores? No, only a few throughout history. Until the age of Heroes and Villains came about. But that’s a story for another time. 

See ectoplasm builds up over time in the human body, and even more so for those that have formed cores who create their own. And it’s not like it’s well studied, what with most not even being aware of the changes or the fact they aren’t fully human anymore. 

Why is this important? Well, what happens if two liminals (accidentally or not) mix their ecto together? Well, that depends on intentions, even if it’s just an impulsive thought at the time. Which in turns means that accidents? Yeah, accidents might’ve happened. Oops….

[thebabygronckle]

i need a geraskier fic entirely from cirilla's perspective thats just abt her discovering dadlore in the most nonchalant situations and losing her shit about it

[hood-ex]

"If DC keeps bringing people back from the dead then it lessens the impact of death in the first place" yeah yeah shut up for a minute, just tell me when Alfred is coming back.

[superbat-lmao]

Robin was standing on a roof a couple buildings over, following orders. Batman told him to wait while he dealt with the GCPD and that he would meet him at the car. So Robin was waiting.

He flicked his gaze around the accompanying roofs and tried to count his breaths. Anything but looking at the pavement below.

There was a flicker two buildings over and he turned his gaze absently, watching for shifting shades of black and grey that denoted movement. He waited.

There.

He moved quietly towards whatever was on the other roof and approached low and out of sight.

There was a series of clicks in the distance and short inhales of breath. He still didn’t have a clear sight line and shifted forward from behind some brickwork to get a better view.

It was a kid in a grey hoodie with some piece of metal in his hands. A camera.

The kid was moving down the fire escape and clicking the shutter when the opportunity presented itself. They were pretty high up, at least 7 stories. Robin snorted at the resilience of the kid, even in the alley he’d known better than to go more than 5 stories on a rickety fire escape if he could avoid it. But then, no kid in the alley would have been able to afford the equipment in the kid’s hands.

There was a sharp inhale next to him and a short shout. Robin sprung forward, realizing the kid must’ve heard him and looked down to see his eyes widen as the fire escape lurched. The kid over balanced, Robin was hurtling towards him, firing his grapple but it wouldn’t be enough. The kid started with a good 20 feet between them and Robin couldn’t overcome physics.

There was a wet crunch below him and then silence.

Someone was screaming.

Batman found Robin covered in blood with his arms wrapped around what looked to be a kid, eyes blank and busted camera lying near his feet.

He wasn’t screaming anymore, and Batman couldn’t keep up with all the words he was saying, but the tragedy was clear. He knew he would have to step forward and pry his son away from the fallen boy, there would be parents to inform but for a minute he just stood there.

First Garzonas and now this.

Two falls was enough for the night.

[talia-kane]

Alfred starts secretly dosing the manor with antidepressants and they stop wanting to fight crime

[notfeelingthyaster]

i think jason's probable death in gotham wars is going to either be a non-continuity death (like dick's deaths) or a "death" (like tim's deaths) in which he is not really dead, just like, in stasis or smh

(or they said we'll dig deeper this time so you can't dig out and offed him again)

[catastrophicalcat]

i love this season of WFA, don't get me wrong. but i do kind of wish it explored other conflicts than just Bat-fam members and Bruce. There are like 20 characters, it can't be that the only person with whom they have issues is Bruce!

[vettelsavatar]

my wife is dead guys this game is the worst

[engagetextposts]

part 2 to remaking old engage textposts, the textpostening

[duketectivecomics]

Did- did Doug ever get cured? I don't think he ever shows up in Duke's Urban Legend story, only Elaine.

DID DC FORGET ABOUT DUKES DAD???

Urban Legends absolutely DROPPED the ball when it came to even WHISPERING abt Doug Thomas, and the last mention of either Doug or Elaine was this year’s DC Power special, where it just RANDOMLY dropped that both Elaine & Doug are dead like???????????????????? (It was in one of those Character Bio pages and it was so fuckin disheartening to see like 😭 & like I get that most ppl hear ‘dukes parents were jokerized’ and automatically assume that means they were killed via joker venom/gas/etc but like… Licherally just picking up WAR or BatS you’ll see that they’re very much alive in both of those like????)

Only explanation is that (ALLEGEDLY) dc’s editors aren’t actually doing any kind of fact checking or collaborating with their writers. It’s (ALLEGEDLY) the wild fuckin west for them rn to just do whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ dc let me in and let me write a quick Duke mini pspspsps I promise I’ll be soooooo normal abt it pspspspsps