#BATTLING WITH LIFE

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[christadeguchi]

"we know how to move our bodies, but i didn't know how to manage my heart, so you need help for this"

hi we need to talk more about judo gold medallist christa deguchi.

[whenstarsignite]

do it for her!!

[bleekay]

doodles from today cause i had a thought: water tribe dragon-blood boy who despite every attempt could not hide his true nature, and fire nation dragon-blood boy who despite every attempt could never take full dragon form

sokka maims himself in an attempt to look more human, breaking off his own horns, cutting his ears, picking at his scales, but everyone sees what he really is. the dragons were responsible for so much death and destruction and he hates being their kind, and so he runs. meanwhile, being able to embrace the dragon in him is all zuko ever wanted, his royal bloodline expecting it of him, but he fails and he fails and is humiliated, tortured, and cast out for his weakness.

on the shores they meet.

or something! :)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

put me back in the oven i am NOT done baking

[bioluminesced]

Il mare eterno nella mia anima

[daz4i]

mori bro now's your chance. his other ex-husband died man he has no one else to go to you should shoot your shot again come on bro

[inkskinned]

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

[axoqiii]

another p5r art dump hiiiiieii 😢😢😢

[leafyisgreennotblue]

Forgot I had tumblr for a quick second there

[hitwiththetmnt]

Spitfire AU info dump!

So I finally got around to drawing my rottmnt au idea more, so here’s some details behind the dragons♡

The dragons are manifestations of “living ninpo” and act as an extension of the turtles.

For example the dragons are in tune with each of the guys emotions/ thoughts/ instincts/ and powers but can act independently as well

They can technically choose what size they want to be, but each has a natural size that feels comfortable to them (ex: Mikey’s dragon likes to be smaller while Raph’s prefer to be bulkier)

If the guys aren’t in tune with their ninpo or are still developing it, the connection to the dragon can be a little unsteady like dealing with a big cat.

Sometimes a dragon knows better about something or makes their own decisions/ has its own opinion/ takes its own actions.

Even though the dragons can be independent, they prefer to stick close to their turtle and remain near by.

The dragons are technically first connected to the boys through their mystic weapons, but as they all bond the dragons don’t need the weapons to be in use to stick around.

The dragons can make noise♪ little chirp and squeaks. But there isn’t really “spoken communication” between dragon and turtle. Conversations are made through sharing emotions/abstract colors+shapes/ images/ and expressions to mimic talking. So to a turtle it feels like a regular conversation but observers would understand nothing

The dragons can technically eat regular food even though they don’t need to. It would only really fizzle and dissolve once it is swallowed and quickly disappear.

Dragons can interact with physical objects (including people) when they wish to. It takes a little bit of concentration if a turtle is willing it, but with practice each of them can work on it

Opposite of holing stuff, the dragons can phase through things (and people) at will! They are naturally transparent and give off a little bit of a spirit vibe so it’s sort of natural they possess this ghostly ability. They naturally phase through objects so there might be a little bit of a learning curve for the concept of doors and privacy (^^;)

That’s all I have for my info dump! Thank you @paintedkinzy-88 for kicking me back into the dragon frenzy so I could actually get some work done for my au!

[egophiliac]

I got a really tough question.

What’s your favorite Twst event of ALL TIME?

I like Harveston

this truly is the hardest question. :( but after much consideration, I think Endless Halloween Night wins out for me, because it's nonstop Characters Being Silly the whole way through. the whole thing is just lots of these little dorks having the most ridiculous interactions, which is always my favorite! and of course the big twist is SO delightfully stupid and doubles down SO hard that it becomes AMAZING and I 100% unironically adore it. AND it's Halloween! everyone is in their cute little costumes and having a spooky adventure! it's great!

however, I am ALSO a big fan of the Harveston event! how can I not be! everyone is wearing comfy winter outfits and getting along really weirdly well with Epel's grandma and he's getting a little worried about that! my terrible loud son sews a plush squirrel and then gives it a silly little nickname and refuses to leave it behind when it breaks! the ending shot with the sled! I LOVE IT.

obviously we need the best of both worlds now

[rontra]

its called FUN-Y because she's a funny silly girl

[demigods-posts]

i was sitting in my room thinking of how convenient it is that the books in the pjo series takes places before or after the school year. then i remembered that ttc happened during winter break. and that percy and annabeth likely returned for their second semester after that quest. what a tragedy.

[collophora]

"Let's fix this drawing" *redraw the whole thing*

[quotelr]

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.

James Baldwin