#Azkaban baddie

[cookihearts]

[saintsenara]

What do you think of the trio's post-canon careers? Because recently, something that has really captured my imagination has been the idea of healer Ron.

The profession, of course, most often crops up in Dramione fic where Hermione has taken up at St. Mungo's (laughable-- this is a girl who needed Harry to unstopper the dittany because her hands were shaking so bad, and frankly, I shudder to think of her bedside manner) but it is predictably absent when veering off the canon course with Ron. This is such a shame because his willow wand is outright good for healing magic (and it is a fairly uncommon combination that he has! The only other person with a willow and unicorn wand, fascinatingly enough, is Lily Potter.)

Ron is also the only person who's canonically interested in healing as a profession (he's immersed in the leaflet for it at breakfast.) He remembers the spattergroit incident from OOTP and then uses it as a cover story in DH. In Half-blood Prince, he takes the exact same classes Harry does, which means he has the grades required to go into auror training, yes, but they are coincidentally the same requirements a student needs to meet in order to apply to be a healer. (On that note: Ron and Harry were clearly high academic achievers and the fanon assertion otherwise needs to be beat back with hammers.)

But the reason why I think healer ron would've been a cracker of a route to go down is just how refreshing it would've been. The Girl of the team, the gang, the trio, being the Healer and Caretaker is such a TRITE trope at this point. DADA Professor Harry is a classic, but this is my case for Healer Ron deserving to be up there. Send his ass back to Hogwarts again if you have to (Hermione will definitely be pleased). Have him intern with Madam Pomfrey for a year and then grumble behind Neville while he takes notes on medicinal herbs. Healer Weasley, who's a big hit in the paediatrics ward because he makes the kids laugh. Who flirts with the oldies and plays chess with the curmudgeons. Who just cares, more than anything, and will bring you a cup of tea no matter the hour, no questions asked. I really do think he's got the disposition for it. What do you reckon?

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i am immediately compelled by the concept of ron-versus-wizarding-medicine. because, certainly, i never see him as someone who stays in the auror office long-term - i think it makes sense for him immediately post-war, especially when he will undoubtedly just want to keep busy and hunt down baddies as a reaction to fred's death, but i think he only stays in the role after this initial burst of vengeance until he feels comfortable leaving harry in a high-risk situation on his own.

because, of course, ron's vibe with everything he touches in canon is influenced by the fact that he's someone predisposed to being caring [right down, as you say, to his wand]. the bit in prisoner of azkaban when he offers to make a cup of tea while hagrid's in hysterics about buckbeak's death sentence is something i find genuinely lovely, for example, and i do think - as you note - that there's something really striking about ron occupying that caring role within the trio which a fanon deviation to trite gender dynamics in which men are stupid and women are nurturing undermines in a supremely tedious way.

i'm not sure, though, that i would back ron in any specialism of healing that could be classed as emergency medicine - he has the vibe of, and i mean this with great affection, the sort of surgeon who habitually leaves sponges behind in patients - but i would back him in specialisms which need to be a bit more holistic or slower in pace. his chess skills - and his good intuition - suggest to me that he'd be a pretty effective diagnostician, and i obviously think he'd have a great bedside manner.

healer ron, then, is going to be at his best, absolutely, in something like paediatrics, which means that i'm going to take your suggestion about him interning with madam pomfrey and run with it to say that ron as hogwarts matron [or whatever the non-gendered version of that term would be] is his ideal career.

think about it! the work's varied and sometimes complicated, but it's not too high-pressure because really serious cases will be sent to st mungo's. the work will frequently relate to things that ron is interested in, like quidditch. and the work will frequently require ron's key talent - being sound - to shine. this is a man who would do an excellent job, i think, of handling mishaps caused by teenagers trying to hex their own acne off, or offering tea and sympathy to the homesick or the recently dumped. i think he'd do a great sex-ed presentation, would manage to charm honeydukes into giving the school its medicinal chocolate at a huge discount, and would be considered a huge legend by the student body for always being willing to certify to the teachers that someone who used a puking pastille to get out of class was actually sick.

as for the other two, i much prefer hermione as a barrister than as a civil-servant - not just because of her temperament but because i think the change she wants to bring to wizarding society is going to be won primarily by her slapping on a wig and gown and being condescending to witnesses.

as for harry, i like to stick to him as an auror. while i have some exceptions, i'm actually really not fond at all of professor potter as a trope - and, even more controversially, i really don't like the concept of professor riddle - largely because teaching is far too sedate for someone who runs on adrenaline as much as harry does.

and - i must be honest - i think the idea of harry as a teacher [or a healer or a quidditch player] often hangs on people feeling uncomfortable with the idea of him as, to all intents and purposes, a police officer. but i quite like taking that in the opposite direction, and playing with harry's canonically black-and-white morality and capacity for self-righteousness to have him - while not a corrupt or sadistic auror - a complacent one. i like the idea of him as someone who thinks that he always applies the law justly and so the law is therefore just, and so on - and the fact that this would allow him to overlook his own childhood lawbreaking is part of that...

[serpentsillusion]

⚜Jessica Garyn Burke⚜

Slytherin baddie breaking social standards since 1890

House: Slytherin

Birthday: October 16th 1875 (age 15)

Blood status: Half-Blood

Wand: Hawthorn wood, Dragon core, 12 ¾" and slightly yielding flexibility

Special abilities: Ancient Magic, Hand to hand combat, musically inclined, excellent cook.

Pets: Mackerel Tabby Cat with white paws (Oliver)

Favorite subject: DATDA, Potions, Beast class.

Amortentia: Sandalwood, Lemon Zest, Rosemary and Dragons Blood.

Enjoys: Slayin' Gobs, Punching Rookwood, hanging out with Sebastian and Ominis, practicing hand to hand combat with her father when she's home, dancing like a moron for her friends, making people laugh, teaching Sebastian secrets about cooking, throwing parties at her house with the crew, Making music with Ominis.

Dislikes: Imelda Reyes (doesn't like bullies) Sometimes Leander, unsolicited advances, Ranrok, getting rocks stuck in her boots, giant spiders.

Traits: Incredibly intelligent; but insanely goofy. Very outspoken, blunt, cheeky and opinionated. Hot-headed but sensitive around Sebastian. Actually is very friendly and kind hearted. Is really good with foreign languages, History and Science. She loves animals and healing.

Appearance: 5'2" and sassy. She has fair skin with a small amount of freckles speckled about her face. Chestnut/Ash brown hair, usually in a messy/twisted bun. Bright ocean blue eyes. Naturally wavy hair when she has it down. When she's not wearing her proper Hogwarts uniform, she likes to dress down and comfy, usually in edgy and alternative outfits.

Favorite colors: Green, Blue, Purple

Patronus: Husky

Family: Father (David Burke *brother of Caractacus Burke*) is a Pure blood Gryffindor but definitely also probably should have been sorted into Slytherin because his daughter is JUST like him. Her mother (Ramona) is muggle born. She has two slibings; An older estranged brother (Roderick) that served in Azkaban but was released later on, an Older sister (Seraphina) who works directly under the Minister of Magic at the Ministry. Jessica and her family are American but Moved to London after her Father was transferred because he worked in the Wizarding Military Force under the Ministry. She grew up in Georgia and has a slight southern accent. They were in London long enough for both of her older siblings to attend Hogwarts and also be sorted into Slytherin but Jess didn't have magic yet. Her brother is 9 years older than she is and her sister is 7 years older than her. They eventually were transferred BACK to the USA where Jessica continued to grow up and attend Ilvermorny for only a couple of months before they were ultimately transferred BACK AGAIN to London where she started 5th year at Hogwarts, which was her very first year of having magic (she's a late bloomer) *Hints* opening game where she doesn't have a wand of her own, and is incredibly surprised by the amount of magic she sees at Hogwarts where she obviously meets Sebastian and Ominis who become her (truely real) best friends.

Usually found: in the undercroft learning how to play gobstones with the 2 Slytherin boys, sneaking into the kitchens after hours cuz she internal chonk, sneaking into the restricted section with Sebastian, in the front garden at the summoners court or in the clock tower participating in crossed wands. Sometimes in Feldcroft with Ominis taking care of Sebastian after his uncle dies suddenly and mysteriously 👀 (Sebastian technically owns the property after that)

Future career: Ancient Artifact Collector, (claims ownership of Borgin and Burkes later on) and Healer of sorts.

Spouses: Sebastian Sallow (Married at 18 years, almost immediately after graduating Hogwarts)

Children: Samuel Johnathan Sallow and Abigail MaryAnne Sallow (Twins) *of course* 😉

Inspiration for post by: @quinnsallow 💝✨

Photo creds: Lensa AI, NightCafe, Google images, image creator.

[marylily-my-beloved]

Hi, I'm actually so nervous and unsure about interacting with anyone online so please forgive me if I sound too awkward.

I'd like to ask, what's your favorite ship and is there any specific reason why you love that ship? If you don't want to share the reason, it's alright. I'm curious and I'd love to talk about fanfics and everything related to anyone who doesn't judge.

My favourite ship..... Ok since I cannot pick one, I will pick a decent, good, normal human amount of like 3.... thanks for the ask btw

(these aren't in order at all sorry abt that :() (im also rlly sorry it took me soooooooo long to answer this :() (and sorry abt the typos I know there are a lot)

MARYLILY GRRRRR. I love marylily with my whole being, because #1 lily is such a baddie, I'm such a simp for her. I also really love Mary, but now on to the real stuff. I really love marylily because it was one of the first sapphic marauders ship I found (second to Dorlene), and I feel like it really resonates with me, especially in a canon sense. I really love it because they were like best friends in a way, and they definitly knew each other. I feel like it would start out with Mary being super jealous of everybody who got too close to Lily, thinking it just being her gut instinct to protect her friends, but eventually it devolps into something more. I also love unrequited marylily, especially from Lily's side at some point. I love the angst that comes with canon marylily, but I also love like non canon au marylily, like I love all MARYLILY. I also love them both, and the dynamic.

WOLFSTAR IDSHLFHISDFSDKLF. I love wolfstar with my whole heart and soul. It is the reason I got into the fandom, because I read ATYD, and then tcoptp and that is probably like my favourite wolfstar fic ever. I rlly like wolfstar bc to me I feel like its the og best friends to lovers and also like the mutual pining! the angst! Sirius in azkaban, the way they were in the first war? I eat up anything wolfstar, and personally I feel like romantically this is the ship I love the most with Remus and Sirius. I love the dynamic between them, like literally especially when Sirius like runs away from home and then like DLHDKLJFKLJLKFD.

Dorlily (bc I'm a sapphic lover FIRST AND FOREMOST) (and also I love almost any ship with lily... I'm a simp) I love dorlily because they are one of The Power Couples™ and they're both so powerful, in canon and fanon. I also really love it bc I feel like it would start with Academic rivals, and Dorcas staring to fall for Lily, and then Lily seeing one of the quidditch games and starting to fall for Dorcas? I personally hc Dorcas as one of the prefects in fifth (? or sixth?) year and they started dating during that time, when they had to patrol something together, and also like they would get together they would keep it a secret until they're friend groups kind of blended together (in fanon) and in canon honestly, when Dorcas joins TOFTP (the order of the phoenix?) and they would live together until they break up. I also love the angst that would come with unrequited dorlily, where when Dorcas dies, and Lily mourns her first love until she also dies.

sorry this took me forever @wolfstaranddrarry <3 thanks for the ask btw

[sophsicle]

What’s the one thing you find most frustrating about Marauders era canon? Not in a an oh it’s badly done way but in an wow this is so depressing and frustrating. For me it’s definitely Sirius never finding out about Regulus being the first to figure out the horcrux situation and how he turned and voldy and was a baddie in general

Hello lovely! Okay, writing this fic, I'm definitely with you that I find the relationship between Regulus and Sirius to be extremely frustrating (and limiting). Like I want so desperately for there to be some kind of resolution between those two but canonically that doesn't happen (and maybe that isn't realistic either, idk). I think generally tho, the thing I find most frustrating, is Sirius and Remus suspecting each other of being the spy. It's honestly the one plot hole that I find the most difficult to explain, because, however frustrated those two might get with one another, it is so hard to believe that either of them would think that about the other. I think the Prank™ is the closest thing to an explanation we have for that, but it's still such a brutal and awful fact. And I guess tacked onto that is the idea that Remus lets Sirius go to Azkaban, lets him sit there for twelve years and does nothing. Like those bits of canon just kill me and it's all plot devices and careless story telling but like it still exists and I hate it.

[mavkasilas]

What if we started a conversation about how Percy would say fuck you lot I’m gonna go and travel the world with my best friends and possibly lover Oliver

Like those fuckers would go everywhere to try new food, fashion styles, go and collect different types of books that would take them days to decipher bc it was a mishmash of languages. Buying and possibly stealing jewelry cursed or completely normal muggle jewelry.

(Btw Percy’s best friends are Cedric, Audrey, Penelope, and Marcus and those fuckers would always fight about who was Percy’s best friends and Oliver would be like

Oliver cackling: haha I already won this match, I’m his boyfriend!

Everyone collectively: shit up Oliver)

Oh hell nah cuz this will be extremely chaos and funny trip😂

Cedric must be the one who says, "It's illegal, we will end up in the muggle's jail or Azkaban!" but still cover them up. He's the one who in charge of driving and supplies bunch of snacks cuz obviously he's the sweetie Cedric.

Well, cuz I never read the original books so I'm not so familiar with Audrey, Penelope and Marcus but I'll still give a shot.

Probably Audrey and Marcus will be the one who makes everybody's eyes on them so that Percy and Penelope can steal or sneak into somewhere. They definitely fight a lot along the journey, sometimes Oliver fight with them too.

About Penelope, I'm a bit familiar with her it's because of fanfics. I thought she will be a person that's sassy and baddie but still elegant like a swan. She is slightly competitive with Percy, I mean a good intention way. Whenever Percy comes out a plan, she will comes out another plan to make Percy's perfect.

Then, move on to the fighting of who is Percy's best friends, the conversation in my mind is like:

Cedric: I think it's me, cuz I don't cause that much trouble for Percy to help us clean up. Obviously it should be me!

Audrey: Just shut up Cedric, shut the fuck up you shit. I can fly my broom better than your driving skills, what a shame isn't it? Call urself the MVP of Quidditch? Can't even remember the gas and the break.

Marcus: I think the one should shut up it's you. You can't even beat me down without using those shitty stratergies. Hit me with the bludgers? I don't think that's an "accident".

Percy: Guys-

*meanwhile, Oliver n Penelope fighting in another corner.*

Oliver: I'm definitely his best friend, just give up Penny.

Penelope: Being his boyfriend doesn't mean you two are best friend, Mr. Wood.

Oliver: Oh really? Guess someone is jealous then.

Penelope: You wanna be competitive right? I'M HIS FISRT DATE, BITCH! I'm his first love & crush!

Oliver: OH DO YOU WANT BETTER? I HAD FUCKED HIM IN EVERY PLACES WHERE YOU GUYS HAD A DATE!I'M THE ONE WHO HAD EXPLORED EVERY INCH OF HIS SKINS!

*silence*

Cedric, Audrey, Marcus: Oh...OH...That's intense.

Penelope: O..Ok. I didn't know you guys have such an interesting kin-

Percy: SHUT UP PENNY! AND YOU TOO, OLLIE. I'M DONE🤚🏻 I'M DONE🤚🏻 I QUIT THIS BABYSITTING JOB.

When i saw ur ask, the "Why is Gamora" scene just play in my head. They def got the Guardians of The Galaxy's vibe. Super chaos af.

[naturallyobsessed]

I posted 191 times in 2021

119 posts created (62%)

72 posts reblogged (38%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.6 posts.

I added 15 tags in 2021

#marvel cinematic universe - 2 posts

#jatp - 2 posts

#mcu - 2 posts

#marvel collage - 2 posts

#collage - 2 posts

#newyear 2021 resolutions newyearresolutions 2021resolutions - 1 posts

#gay men - 1 posts

#that's it - 1 posts

#all the music i listen to is sad - 1 posts

#gimme it - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 71 characters

#i want to but idk what you think and i want your opinion on it okay bye

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

fun thing

my favorite line from each hp movie, hsmtmts episode, and jatp episode.

HARRY POTTER

philosopher’s/sorcerer’s stone: NO YOU CAWNT! THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY! 

chamber of secrets: you’ll find I can be very, persuasive

prisoner of azkaban: shove off malfoy

goblet of fire: spectacular

order of the phoenix: I hope there’s pudding

half-blood prince: no. can you introduce me?

deathly hallows part 1: mooorning

deathly hallows part 2: not my daughter, you bitch!

HSMTMTS

the auditions: she thinks I’m a Chad?!

the read-through: did I just join a cult?

the wonder-studies: NOOOOOOO

blocking: I get it. friends.

homecoming: maybe people are allowed to go out with whoever they wanna go out with and be whoever they wanna be (which is what everyone really needs to hear this right now)

what team?: okay, but with boys.

thanksgiving: I just happen to be a long-time fan of the south side knights.

the tech rehearsal: it’s Lucas, Jennifer.

opening night: I’m not done with you yet, honey

act two: I’m not the Troy you want

JATP

wake up: I have been crying for 25 years? how is that possible?

bright: your tainted hot dog could be right around the corner

flying solo: but we’re not alone, ‘cause we always have each other.

I got the music: oh, it’s not for him bro. it’s for us.

the other side of Hollywood: what’s a jar jar?

finally free: making me blush.

edge of great: no ❤️

unsaid emily: this is an interesting little relationship you and I have.

stand tall:  no music is worth making, Julie, if we're not making it with you.

THIS TOOK FORVER SO PLEASE APPRECIATE IT

4 notes • Posted 2021-01-29 21:56:26 GMT

#4

lgbtqia+ hc for victorious characters : )

tori: lesbian

jade: bi

cat: omni

trina: pan

andre: gay

robbie: bi

beck: straight but very supportive

4 notes • Posted 2021-08-23 04:00:56 GMT

#3

the unholy trinity: y/n potter, y/n stark, y/n salvatore

4 notes • Posted 2021-10-23 17:12:36 GMT

#2

hear me out

bobby + arctic monkeys

6 notes • Posted 2021-06-17 22:53:25 GMT

#1

HELLO!!

Hi! I'm just a sensitive minor who's in a lot of fandoms even though I'm not that involved in them :)

Anyways, hi! I'm a Hufflepuff, isfp-t, scorpio, bi-curious, younger sibling with anger issues who uses she/her pronouns. I like to write and read fanfiction, but mostly ones with oc's. I like to make fun of Harry Potter TikTok povs with my brother because they're stupid and I hate them.

Now, here's some shows I want to watch because why not

I Am Not Okay With This

The End Of The F***ing World

The Vampire Diaries

The Originals

The Umbrella Academy

Love, Victor

Euphoria

Miraculous Ladybug (I've seen some episodes but I want to watch enough so that I can call myself a fan)

Outerbanks

So yeah, that's that. I do not support Steve Kloves, J.K. Rowling, Tom Felton, Robbie Coltrane, and all of the other problematic HP actors. I also do not support Chris Pratt, Robert Downy Jr., Mark Ruffalo, Jeremy Renner, Scarlett Johansson, and all the other problematic MCU actors.

As for fictional characters, the characters in my banner are my favorite from each fandom, but I'll list them anyways.

EJ Caswell from HSMTMTS

Remus Lupin from Harry Potter

Willie from Julie and the Phantoms

Miguel Diaz from Cobra Kai

My least favorites from each fandom are as follows;

Nini Salazar-Roberts from HSMTMTS

Draco Malfoy OR Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter

Caleb Covington from Julie and the Phantoms

John Kreese from Cobra Kai

I will now list my top three comfort songs from different genres (sad, happy, baddie)

SAD

Lovely by Billie Eilish

Another Love by Tom Odell

Till Forever Falls Apart by Ashe and Finneas

HAPPY

Locked Out of Heaven by Bruno Mars

Cruel Summer by Bananarama

What The Hell by Avril Lavigne

BADDIE

Streets by Doja Cat

Poker Face by Lady Gaga

Take a Hint by Victoria Justice and Elizabeth Gillies

Yeah, that's pretty much everything. Thanks for reading, and have a fun time on my page!

10 notes • Posted 2021-06-15 02:23:33 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[aion-rsa]

Harry Potter: What an HBO Max TV Series Could Be About

https://www.denofgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/harry-potter-movies.png?w=400&h=400&crop=1&resize=400%2C400

The only real magic left in this world is intellectual property and its nigh supernatural ability to print money. With media conglomerates prioritizing their streaming services, beloved IPs have never been more valuable in garnering interest, sign-ups, and subscriptions for streaming platforms like Netflix, Disney+, and HBO Max. WarnerMedia, the owner of the lattermost streaming service, also holds the rights to the Harry Potter IP, and of course they want to conjure up ideas to bring the world of The Boy Who Lived to television.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, a Harry Potter live-action TV series is in early development at HBO Max, with the streaming service having “early-stage exploratory meetings” with writers for potential ideas. “There are no Harry Potter series in development at the studio or on the streaming platform,” HBO Max and Warner Bros said in a statement, but once again, you’d have to be as thick as Cornelius Fudge to believe they aren’t doing their darndest to extend that Galleons-filled universe.

There are loads of avenues a potential Harry Potter TV series could go down. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them has proven that Harry Potter fans will embrace different characters and time-periods and there’s plenty of in-universe history to explore. With that in mind, here’s some ideas we’d love to see tackled by a Harry Potter television series.

Harry Potter: The Complete Story

This is probably the most controversial idea. To some, Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson are the definitive Harry, Ron, and Hermione and recasting their parts is considered sacrilege. However, Radcliffe seems to know that it’s an inevitability, telling IGN: “It will be interesting to see how long those films stay… it feels like there’s a sacredness around them at the moment, but that’ll go, the shine will wear off at some point. It’ll be interesting if they reboot them and just do the films again or do a series; I’m fascinated to watch.”

A series seems to be the only thing that could really capture all of the details found in the original seven book series. With 10 hour-long episodes a season, a TV series could be the most faithful adaptation of the books, covering everything that the films left out like S.P.E.W., Peeves, and lots and lots of Quidditch. Some may think it’s too soon to rehash the entire saga, while others would love to see nitty-gritty details get their shine.

The Marauders

A TV series following the exploits of James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew during their mischievous years at Hogwarts during the First Wizarding War seems like the idea most ripe for exploration. While the third book in the series, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, featured a lot of exposition about the old gang and their relationships with each other, the films left a lot of the Marauders story to be implied. There would be plenty of time to feature younger versions of fan-favorite characters like Severus Snape and under-explored heroes like the Longbottoms, and the series could roll right into their graduation, the Order of the Phoenix, and that fateful Halloween night in 1981.

Riddle (or the First Wizarding War)

Speaking of the First Wizarding War, a fully-fleshed out origin story for the most notorious wizard of all-time could be a gripping miniseries. While most of Tom Marvolo  Riddle’s transformation into Voldemort was explored in the Harry Potter book series and subsequent films, a TV series could dive deeper, showing his time at Hogwarts and his use of the Chamber of Secrets, the murder of Hepzibah Smith, the gathering of the Death Eaters, and his recruitment of the outcasted creatures like Giants. The series could also give POV to characters important to Voldemort’s story, like Regulus Black, Severus Snape, and Lucious Malfoy. 

House of Black

An anthology series could explore one of the Wizarding World’s most notable families, the Blacks. As one of the largest, oldest, and wealthiest pure-blooded wizarding families in Great Britain, there are countless stories that could be told about all of the powerful wizards, both good and bad, from the Black family. The potential to play in different time periods and countries is definitely a draw, and writers would have the ability to create their own stories. Each episode could feature a different story about a different Black family member, but why stop with just the Black family? Maybe there could be a series about the Sacred Twenty-Eight, the twenty-eight British families that were still “truly pure-blood” by the 1930s, and all of the ways that the families overlapped, fought, and loved.

Aurors

There’s a reason that Harry becomes an Auror when he’s older, and that’s because the idea of an Auror is extremely badass. In the Wizarding World, Aurors are highly trained law enforcement officials responsible for policing the magical and keeping the peace in the Wizarding World. In Britain, Aurors are trained to investigate crimes related to the Dark Art and are often called “Dark Wizard catchers.” A crime procedural set in the Harry Potter universe? Sign us up! 

Read more

Movies

Harry Potter Movie Streaming Guide: Where to Watch Online

By Kayti Burt

Movies

All Harry Potter Movies to Stream on Peacock This Fall

By Alec Bojalad

We know there have to be baddies other than Voldemort and Death Eaters up to no good, so a series could explore all of the nefarious things that people are using magic for and the folks tasked with stopping them. Training is supposedly rigorous, so maybe our story begins with a new recruit. Hell, maybe this series is just a magical version of Training Day. Wait, isn’t that what that horrible Netflix movie Bright was supposed to be about? Damn, well there’s still plenty of potential here for an action-packed TV series.

Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Let’s do an American coming-of-age high school series set in the Harry Potter universe! After spending so much time at Hogwarts, I’m sure fans would love to see what wizarding school is really like across the pond. Known for being the least elitist of all of the Wizarding Schools, an Ilvermorny-set series could expand on some of the class issues that the new Saved by the Bell reboot on Peacock is tackling. 

Ilvermorny also has a rich history and a series could highlight the story of founder Isolt Sayre, her “No-Maj” husband James Steward and their struggle against Isolt’s evil aunt Gormlaith Gaunt. With so much known about the Wizarding World in the U.K., perhaps a new Harry Potter property could flesh out the Wizarding World in North America.

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With so much lore and so many expanded-universe stories still left to tell on screen, the Wizarding World of Harry Potter is ripe for further expansion. Have an idea for a Wizarding series? Let us know in the comments!

The post Harry Potter: What an HBO Max TV Series Could Be About appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3a1tF66

[metvmorqhoses]

Lis I adore your Sugar Baddie Type analysis! But TOM RIDDLE?!

ok two more anons asked this and you are all really right, this indeed needs some explanations.

to put tom among the “sugar baddies” trope is the consequence of my *more mature* personal opinion about his character, therefore it is for you to decide how right i might be in the end. i was also specifically referring to his dynamic with bellatrix, which never stops to fascinate me. but again, since none or very little of this is clearly mentioned in the books, which are sadly not specifically about him, all this will always be up to interpretations.

tom riddle (and then voldemort consequentially) is one of the most ruthless, fascinating villains ever created, pure in his evil as much as in his ideology, extremely selfish and wicked, so full of hatred, fear, ambition and, yes, desperation as well. so purely evil, in fact, that people too many times tend to oversimplify his character and more importantly his behaviors. to most, voldemort is too evil to do anything else but evil; too evil to be anything else but a full-time fairytale-like villain. we can hardly picture him enjoying a quidditch game, or a pie, or reading a book about anything else but horcruxes-making; we don’t even dare to try to picture him having sex, if not in a degrading way towards his victim, ehrm, partner. and this is all absolutely true, but i love to think there is also… more.

to really strike me, a villain must still possess the shreds, the deformities of what once their humanity was. it’s what i love about ancient mythologies - even gods have human-shaped hearts. but those hearts in their chests are redder, have twisted forms, pulse with more insistence - and they are so much heavier.

i like to think voldemort falls in this category, even if it’s not always easy to come to realize this when you first read the books. after all, as any real myth, and i say this with a bit of pride, there is little or nothing left of the real person behind it, not in the minds of those who come after them, at least.

growing up with the hp books, i had this same idea of tom riddle as well and i think the novels are to some extent to blame for this, after all they are told from harry’s point of view and we can’t really blame him for falling for the fairytale-like monster trick, it’s obvious that tom himself wanted everyone to perceive him like that, to fear him like that, that’s, after all, the very reason he became voldemort in the first place, to get rid of his humanity - and i can’t honestly think of anything more painfully human than that.

yet, when i say “human” i’m not trying to belittle his demi-god aura, or his exceptionality, quite the opposite: i’m endlessly fascinated by his being a finer, higher, more sophisticated kind of human - with the horrors that came with it as well. even when harry tries to consider him as person, even while he watches him as a boy in the orphanage, harry is presented with an inhuman psychopath, but i don’t think it is necessary always the case. i like to think one as intelligent and exceptional (and damaged) as tom could easily go from pure evil to (potentially) pure love in a split second. and that’s absolutely disturbing in a person, and twisted, and really interesting. after all, there are many ways one can be unable to love: being conceived under a love potion doesn’t necessarily make you alien to love, but maybe simply unable to understand or trust it. i think this interpretation fits more tom’s character: he had ALL the capabilities others had, he actually had more than, even the one to love, but his past and choices and consequential fears made him the monster he became.

recently analyzing his character, i found myself intrigued to go past his evil-entity facade, looking at him in a more real person kind of way, trying to understand him more as a real-life dictator with supernatural powers. a man behind the monster, behind the endless power. and i like to think in the end he did enjoy quidditch games, and pies, and music, and literature, and art, and did care, in his twisted and dangerous way of course, about some people - bellatrix, most of all.

he screamed when she died. he tried to avenge her. he had a daughter with her. and in all honesty i can’t really see him having an aseptic one-night-stand sex for some heir-conceiving frenzy, it’s terribly out of character for someone who’s been planning to live forever and being the world’s eternal dictator since he was six years old. i’m sure delphini was a mistake and this means he was actively having sex with bellatrix, the said most loyal lieutenant, whom he tried to avenge, whom he screamed for, to whom he literally entrusted a piece of his own torn soul (how awfully romantic). bellatrix who was basically almost seen as a queen by everyone, incredibly feared and respected. bellatrix who was always behind him, and yet ahead of everyone else in every single battle/meeting/situation - and he let her. do you think someone like voldemort would have allowed anyone to be that annoying if he had not enjoyed it? anyone else would have been killed for much less. bellatrix who had talent, and courage, and the strength to never give up for all those years in azkaban, just to one day see him again. i think him intelligent and deep enough to be fascinated by that, especially if that beautiful mind was as twisted as his own. also i think him intelligent enough to value beauty: the beauty of magic, of nature, of her body. all those sentiments are linked and they absolutely don’t diminish the horrors in my mind, they just magnify them.

but i also think their relationship, as twisted and complicated and unhealthy as it might have been, wasn’t a degraded slave and master one. leaving aside the fact i don’t think he would have enjoyed to fuck a worthless worm at all and that bellatrix can be literally perceived as anything but that, i think he viewed sex as something deeply human, and therefore far beneath him. extremely good-looking as he was, i think he considered women something he would have never lessened himself with.

then why having sex with bellatrix and favor her, even publicly, even if in a really subtle way? the only possible answer is there were sentiments involved, admiration for her, trust in her, desire for her beyond reason, even. i also think he would have only ever allowed himself to appear that human with someone he literally trusted more than his very self. i don’t want to explore here all the possible implications and internal crisis this might have caused them both, but this is why they probably are my favorite fictional couple and that’s why i’m so fascinated by them both. they do fall in the trope, but not as the normal “pure girl saves villain” kind of way, but in a much higher one: what’s really perfect about them is they found each other in darkness, they are kindred spirits in power and terror, and yet this doesn’t mean they can’t love or care, but just that it’s a black kind of love they share. a terrible one.

i think bellatrix was the great woman behind the great man, whom he rewarded publicly, and dashingly and twistingly loved privately. and if we can’t really see him doing any of those things, it’s because he succeeded in making us just see the terrible mask of voldemort, finally becoming the hideous myth that could so safely protect and immortalize the broken, desperate and exceptionally talented tom riddle.

[vrenaewrites]

My Favorite Books Ever (2019).

In June 2018, I did a video about my all time favorite books. I included 13 books and only a couple were young adult, which is the genre I write in.

Boy how things change in a year. I’ve read probably 20 books since then which isn’t a lot compared to other people, but you’d be surprised how many of those were absolute knockouts for me, quickly moving into my hall of fame favorites. So let’s revisit my top 10 list.

10. TIE: TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD by Harper Lee and MATILDA by Roald Dahl.

[previously #5 and #10, respectively]

These books have to be included on the basis of how much they meant to me as a child and young teen who was bookish, compassionate, and open-minded in my rural (read: often racist) southern community. Scout Finch and Matilda Wormwood were little girls I needed as a little girl, and while I may not reach for these “favorites” too often anymore, they’ll be some of the first books I share with my kids of reading age. They made me who I am.

9. THE MERCILESS by Danielle Vega Rollins.

[new addition]

Boy, oh, boy. If you didn’t catch the pop culture influences on my new WIP, you don’t even know what kind of impact this book had on me. If The Exorcist and Mean Girls had a baby written by Stephen King, this would be it. Sofia Flores is welcomed by the popular, virtuous girls at the expense of outcast Brooklyn, and the price for inclusion is higher than anyone could have known. This is a brutal, BRUTAL book. Full of intrigue, pulpy dirty laundry, and tons of gore, it’s not for the faint of heart. But it is right up my alley.

8. SHARP OBJECTS by Gillian Flynn.

[previously #8]

This book messed me up so bad I had to let my little sister borrow it so I had someone to talk about it with. It worked. Journalist Camille Preaker returns to her small Midwest town to investigate the disappearance of little girls, she has to reconnect with her toxic, dysfunctional family I’ve mentioned it before: a fucked up family and a strong sister dynamic - good or bad - are two of my favorite elements to read about. SHARP OBJECTS comes through with that in spades, along with questionable allies, mental illness in the protagonist, twist after twist, and the classic Gillian Flynn style of stylistic, highly personal writing.

7. THE EXORCIST by William Peter Blatty.

[previously #6]

I am totally and utterly obsessed with this story. I did see the movie before I read the book because I’m a horror movie junkie and I saw this movie at like, ten years old. Twelve year old Regan MacNeil makes an imaginary friend through a ouija board and things...get...weird from there. But of course, the story isn’t really about Regan. It’s about Father Karras, the titular exorcist who wrestles with the imaginary friend within Regan - the demon Pazuzu - and his own personal demons. The vulgar violence Regan is subjected to during her possession will burn into your brain forever, and the exploration of the relationship between god and man and devil feeds my dogmatic interests like few things really can.

6. THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE by Shirley Jackson.

[previously #7]

I can’t overstate how much I love this book. From the queer coding of Theo and Nellie to the unsteady narration, Hill House has been ridiculously impactful on me since I read it almost two years ago. A parapsychologist invites people with paranormal experiences to spend time with him in the titular home, where he plans to prove the existence of paranormal activity. That’s right, this is the start of the ghost hunting trope, guys. Basically, these people get real fuckin’ haunted. As the sanity of each guest of Hill House is threatened and questioned, we as the reader start to wonder what the truth really is.

5. A HEAD FULL OF GHOSTS by Paul Tremblay.

[previously #4]

Paul Tremblay is a contemporary to Stephen King. I said what I said. The Barrett family is torn apart by the change in Marjorie, the oldest of their two daughters. As signs of acute schizophrenia become more prevalent, the father turns to religion and the mother turns to mental health professionals. As their resources deplete, they are forced to allow a reality tv show to document Marjorie’s affliction for the paycheck, where the reality and sanity of all involved comes unraveled. The narrators. The twists upon twists. The unrelenting tension as you become invested in finding out what is really wrong with Marjorie. It’s a book I wish I wrote.

4. THE FORBIDDEN GAME trilogy by LJ Smith.

[previously #3]

I just don’t know how to explain what this book did for me creatively. It’s 90s pulp horror and it made me realize that I kinda want to write 90s pulp horror...in 2019. It’s engaging, well written, interesting, unique, diverse, and quick. LJ Smith can do no wrong in my book.

3. HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN by JK Rowling.

[previously #2]

Do I have to get into this? The introduction of Remus Lupin, my literal father. The introduction of Sirius Black, my literal son. The introduction of not so annoying Hermione, literally me. The Draco punch. Buckbeak. Big baddies on the horizon. The first YA entry in the series. Chef’s kiss. Also the best film, I said what I said.

2. CARRIE by Stephen King.

[previously #1]

I know, I’m shook. Carrie has been dethroned. Don’t tell her though - we don’t want a prom repeat. Stephen King’s debut is ridiculously good - gritty, scary, brutal, sad, and believable despite being about a telekinetic teen who’s abused into massacring most of a town. Spoilers? The book is like 40 years old. Too bad.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Alice Hoffman’s PRACTICAL MAGIC [previously #9]

Grady Hendrix’s MY BEST FRIEND’S EXORCISM [new]

Dhonielle Clayton’s THE BELLES [new]

1. WE HAVE ALWAYS LIVED IN THE CASTLE by Shirley Jackson.

[new addition]

Oh my God, y’all. I read this book in one day while I was in upstate NY last month. I read it on a dock, on a lake, in 80 degree weather, and I had goosebumps by the end. Mary Katherine Blackwood and her sister Constance live alone in the Blackwood mansion, hated by the villagers, jeered at in the grocery store, and gossiped about - for good reason. Six years prior, their entire family was poisoned and the prime suspect, Constance, was acquitted to the disdain of the public. But when a long lost cousin hungry for the Blackwood fortune comes to visit, secret after secret is unearthed along with little Merricat’s various treasures of protection. Talk about twists. Jackson has a KNACK for the vicious town opinion - The Lottery, anyone? - and how it can ruin a family, a person, and how there can be no sole responsibility for mob mentality. I just cannot overstate how much I love this book.

[the13thsnatcher]

Headcanon

Jer hates Aurors, not solely because he’s a Snatcher, but because when Snatchers and Death Eaters killed his family, the Auror Office (in his eyes) did nothing. They couldn’t stop the Death Eaters from taking over and their comforts were shallow at best. They couldn’t bring his loved ones back and they weren’t there protecting Muggles who needed it while the Wizarding World was ripping Europe apart, concerning themselves only with the affairs of the Ministry and spread too thin with the looming threat.

He’s disgusted with how self-righteous they are about their jobs in the post-war, thinking they can make everything better by just rounding up the Bad People(tm) without concern to reparations or all the damage that’s been done. He sees how much was lost and what can so many can never get back no matter how many baddies get thrown in Azkaban and it’s never going to be enough.

[saintsenara]

waitt i need to know why you hc ludo bagman as a genuine death eater sympathiser omg. that sounds fascinating

thank you very much for the ask, pal!

that bagman was really a death eater sympathiser is something i've been committed to believing since i first read goblet of fire, but it's something i've been pondering particularly recently as part of writing subluxation, which is a big look at the set-up and function of the wizarding state during voldemort's takeover in 1997-1998 from the perspective of percy weasley.

which means - of course - that it requires a bit of grappling with percy's main man - and bagman's frenemy - barty crouch sr.

the way the canon narrative - not only harry's perspective but also characters harry implicitly trusts, like sirius and dumbledore - wants us to react to crouch sr. is something that really interests me. because i think it's reasonable to say that - while the series doesn't regard him as a villain villain, per se [as it does for characters such as umbridge] - it doesn't see him as someone we are supposed to regard in a particularly positive light either, even after the reveal that barty crouch jr. was a death eater and his father was justified in sending him to azkaban [even if he didn't keep him there...]

crouch - like cornelius fudge, rufus scrimgeour, and percy himself - is a victim of the narrative's general consensus that ministry workers who are not under the impression that the ministry cannot function admirably or efficiently without input from dumbledore are people we should have no real respect for. he is shown, in his canon appearances, to be something of a jobsworth - officious and dull and uncreative in his thinking, which serves both as a personification of what the series thinks about the civil service and as a narrative device to make the reveal that he broke his son out of prison and kept him, essentially, drugged at home all the more shocking.

but crouch is also interesting in another sense - in that he is not a villain, but that he does not fit into the way the series categorises the behaviour of its heroes surrounding mercy.

we are told in goblet of fire that crouch - as head of the department of magical law enforcement in the 1970s - was responsible for the escalating harshness of the government's response to voldemort. policies such as the instructions for aurors to shoot to kill if they encountered suspected death eaters and the use of internment without trial of those accused of collusion with voldemort [both of which, as i am always banging on about, are references to the actual behaviour of the british state in northern ireland during the same time period] emanate directly from him.

and this ties into a theme which is prominent in the run of books between prisoner of azkaban and half-blood prince: that the world is not split into good people and death eaters. the purpose of these central books in the series is to show that - once harry's worldview widens from the hogwarts-exclusive focus it has in the first two, more childlike, books - the rot in the wizarding world goes far beyond voldemort. the wizarding state is shown - time and time again - to be cruel, corrupt, prejudiced, and stagnant, and the ministry's most loyal bureaucrats and their unwillingness towards mercy are largely blamed for this situation.

because of course - as i have complained about before - the morality of the harry potter series is individualist. good and evil are located by the text within the individual, which means that states and their institutions are automatically less interesting to it than singular heroes and villains in an epic baddies-versus-goodies showdown.

but it's also true that - as a protagonist - harry's morality is extremely self-serving. by which i mean that he has a tendency to reach black-and-white judgements on people he encounters - they're good if they're nice to him, they're bad if they're cruel to him - and to never deviate from them.

and - indeed - to never have to deviate from them. it's worth saying that harry's conversion rate on being right about people is really high - his immediate dislike of characters such as draco malfoy, lockhart, and umbridge is entirely justified; his immediate trust of characters such as sirius is the same. his only misjudgments relate to characters who are crucial to the narrative outside of harry's feelings towards them - he's wrong to trust the teenage tom riddle in chamber of secrets, he's wrong to trust the fake "moody" in goblet of fire, he's wrong to trust "bathilda bagshot" in deathly hallows, and he is, of course, wrong about both snape and dumbledore.

but - outside of this - his judgements are usually proven to be right [and, indeed, his good instincts are lampshaded by the narrative in deathly hallows, when lupin literally says this]. and so we are supposed to assume, i think, that character judgements he makes which we see no broader resolution to are correct.

for example - harry's conviction that stan shunpike is under the imperius curse is never taken by the text as anything other than true. there is no suggestion whatsoever that harry is wrong and that stan - a young, working-class man with delusions of grandeur, who would presumably be reasonably easy to radicalise - might be a genuine supporter of voldemort, and harry's complete certainty that stan is falsely imprisoned [with the callbacks this gives to his feelings about sirius' treatment] isn't used by the narrative as an example of him being naive and self-righteous, but as an example of the fundamental goodness, sensibleness and mercifulness of his character which justifies his ascent to an allegory for christ in the latter stages of deathly hallows.

and the same applies to ludo bagman. when harry witnesses his trial, he finds the suggestion that he might have been a death eater absurd, clearly finds the jury's immediate dismissal of it amusing, and is unsympathetic to crouch when he is infuriated by bagman's acquittal. he takes dumbledore's assurance that bagman has never been accused of any nefarious activity since without question [something he does not do for snape] and his view throughout goblet of fire - much as it is for stan - is that bagman is seedy and not particularly clever, but that he is also such a transparently ridiculous person that to suspect him of being someone voldemort would care about is idiotic, and that crouch's inability to bang him up in azkaban on spurious charges can only - given what happened to sirius - be a good thing.

but the issue is that - notwithstanding his commitment to extrajudicial punishment - barty crouch sr. is... clearly right to investigate bagman thoroughly.

we are told in order of the phoenix that voldemort's power depends on a vast network of ministry informants. we are shown in deathly hallows that his coup is only successful because almost the entirety of the civil service remains in post. we are shown time and time again throughout canon that voldemort's views - on blood-supremacy and magic-supremacy, on the supposed value of maintaining the class system - are incredibly mainstream political opinions, and we can infer from this that a majority of the population of wizarding britain have the view sirius tells us his parents did: that, while they're uneasy with voldemort's violence and while they're certainly not paid-up death eaters, they think voldemort has the right idea.

dumbledore - and the order - are shown throughout canon to be preoccupied with the big fish. the death eaters they target are voldemort's inner circle - the marked loyalists he trusts as generals. we never see - outside of the snatchers - the lower-profile but infinitely more important cogs in voldemort's machine: the people who traffic stolen goods and lift ministry secrets from filing cabinets and observe potential recruits in pubs and pass gossip along whisper networks until it reaches the dark lord. the sort of people crouch clearly wanted to eradicate, but couldn't find the goodwill within the ministry to do so.

bagman can easily fit this profile - he's presumably a pureblood or a half-blood and raised in the wizarding world, since his parents canonically have at least one wizarding friend [augustus rookwood]; he is clearly relaxed about making use of the class system, since he expects to finesse a job out of rookwood when his professional quidditch career ends; and he is possessed of extremely dubious morals. we also know that pleading ignorance of who you were working for was a famously successful - and, presumably, voldemort-sanctioned - way of getting away with having colluded with the death eaters. it makes just as much sense - then - for bagman's "oh, i just thought i was chatting about state secrets with rookwood as a mate" act to be in the same vein as lucius malfoy pretending to be under the imperius curse as it does for him to actually have been that dumb, and so it makes sense for him to have gone actively looking for information he could pass to rookwood because of some sympathies [even if they were uneasy ones] with rookwood's cause.

do i think he was a marked death eater? no - i think voldemort couldn't pick him out of a line-up and he never achieved anything other than being an informant rookwood could tap for details and documents he could pass up to his master if they looked interesting.

but this would have been what voldemort's ministry infiltration actually looked like - and it is a much more insidious, and interesting, concept than loads of aristocrats fighting and being sexy, which i think is really worth exploring when we think about wizarding politics.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

So I saw someone on Facebook complaining about HP writers making Dumbledore manipulative. How they hate that Dumbledore always leaves Harry to be abused, is always keeping information to himself, and is always controlling everyone.

And I’m just like...

Because this isn’t fanon. This is actual canon shit! We aren’t making this attitude up!

Dumbledore left Harry with the Dursleys knowing full well they wouldn’t be suitable. He knew Harry wasn’t treated well but left him there to breed a martyr mentality so he’d let himself be murdered. 

Dumbledore knew Quirrell was possessed and did nothing about it, preferring to rely on a prophecy instead of taking matters into his own hands when he had the chance.

Dumbledore knew Lockhart was a fraud and did nothing about it. Two years in a row he allowed the education of 1,000 students to be compromised and let them all waste money on fake ass books.

Dumbledore refused to tell Harry anything and in the end Sirius paid the price because had Harry been up to date as he rightfully should have since Dumbles was expecting him to defeat Voldemort anyway, Sirius would be alive. He should have fucking said something. And didn’t.

Dumbledore has built a habit of doing what he thinks is best and ignoring everyone else’s feelings and opinions.

Dumbledore had Harry kidnapped from his legal guardian the night his parents were murdered. Sirius wasn’t sent to Azkaban - without a trial that Dumbledore never petitioned for btw even though he was Chief Warlock - until November 3rd, his birthday.

Dumbledore forced Sirius to stay in the very place he hated most of all.

Dumbledore left a magical mirror known to kill people by trapping them in visions of their heart’s desires, laying around in hopes that children would find it.

Dumbledore did nothing any of the times Harry became the school pariah. 

Dumbledore, for some reason, needed to borrow a fancy Invisibility Cloak that cannot be summoned by anyone, the very moment two of his warriors are targeted by the big baddie.

All of this is canon shit. Having him do this in fic isn’t fanon. How can people not get that?

[arcadian-time-lady]

Crimes of Grindewald Spoilers

Lots to unpack from seeing the movie last night. I want to see the movie again, and also read the script, because I think I missed some things, but here are some initial spoilery thoughts:

- I loved Leta, and I don’t accept that ending. That is all.

- But also, who the fuck are the Lestrange’s in the HP books if Leta and her brother were the last of their bloodline?

- Half-elves are a thing? Really? Wizards are pretty weird in their sex lives. I had a hard time getting my head around half-giants, but at least they are anthropomorphic and engorgment charms are a thing. Who the fuck looks at a house elf and wants to get down? I mean really?

- Why was McGonagall in this movie? As much as I loved her appearance, it made no sense. She looked thirty five in a flashback set in the 1910s. Amazing, considering she hadn’t been born yet. And no, it could not have been her aunt Minerva, as the McGonagall name was a muggle one.

- I weirdly hope Travers stays on the ministry’s side? I liked him as a Ministry hardliner.

- the opening scene was amazing. Grindewald is a monster, and manipulates people for his own ends.

- Theseus was boring. He could have made up for that by dying at the end, but no.

- Bunty was fun with her crush, and I loved the basement full of magical beasts.

- Jacob was right: Queenie is crazy. First she uses a love spell on Jacob, then she kidnaps him, and then abandons him in a foreign country. The she joins Grindewald and aides him in manipulating Creedence. She’s going to be a big baddie.

- I am glad the Jacob/Queenie romance is over. It never made sense to me, and I always hated it.

- Congrats to JKR for not shying away from how horrible Queenie’s use of the love spell was, and how it paralleled Lestrange’s abduction and rape of Leta’s mother.

- Newt and Jacob continue to be funny together, and I love their friendship.

- Again, Tina is mysterious and skulking around for no reason. Why is she searching for Creedence? Why doesn’t the French Ministry know she is there? Why does she not know the rumor that everyone else seems to know?

- I liked the hidden street in Paris, and the circus. The entrance to the French Ministry, and the Ministry itself were great.

- Creedence was fine, if one note. If you didn’t see the first movie, man you would be lost.

- I loved Nagini? I feel like I should apologize for that, but she was great. I’m interested to see where the story goes and how she permanently turns into a snake.

- I loved the casual use of magic and the new spells inthis one. It was really what was missing in the first Fantastic Beasts movie. This felt more like an actual magical world.

- I hope we get more on the henchmen in the next movie? They lack names at the moment. Rosier was good.

- I was bored by Yusuf Kama. He wasn’t Very sympathetic to me.

- Grindewald’s speech at the end was amazing.

- I’m glad Creedence wasn’t a Lestrange, but the actual reveal makes no fucking sense. How the hell is he Dumbledore’s brother?

- Creedence was like 18 in the first film? Pretty sure that Kendra was dead by 1908, which leaves Dumbledore’s father, who was locked up in Azkaban? They get conjugal visits, huh?

- I mean, I guess the phoenix confirms it. That was Fawkes, right? But it is really a reach. It actually bothers me more than the Nagini thing, because at least you get the sense that she is going to be a major character and developed as we go.

- and finally, Leta’s death. You know, I am not totally convinced she is dead due to the fact that she was in the Lestrange crypt at the time. Could there be some protection for her? Also, if Creedence could survive the first movie, I see no reason for her not to pop up again in the next one. Her story was just so tragic, and I want to see her again.

In General, I liked the movie and the story. Their were some abrupt cuts, and I dislike that they continue to show scenes in trailers that aren’t in the final movie. Hopefully, the next movie is the all out war.

[futuremysteryshack]

Hattress laughs, heading towards the door. “Only a few. But we’re enough that a bunch of super-baddies show. Gamemaster was one for a while.”

Gamemaster chuckles. “Yeah, but it wasn’t my gig, really.”

They head inside Azkaban, and start going through the security checkpoints. Hattress said, “Now Crossover is really the weakest of the lot. He’s a tech genius, but a very shy and nerdy man.”

It was finally the day of Lloyd’s birthday. Everyone was setting up the decorations and preparing for the party at the monastery.

The whole courtyard had been decked out for Lloyd’s birthday party. There was balloons, a gift table, a games area, streamers, and the whole party was Starfairer themed! The only thing missing were Dipper and the other fallers and the cake.

Lloyd and the others were waiting for Dipper and the others as they prepped everything.

“They should be here soon!” Kai smiled. “Are you excited Lloyd?”

“Yeah I am!” Lloyd grinned and nodded.

@futuremysteryshack

[anythingstephenking]

Tony! Toni! Toné! has done it again

Did you know that Tony! Toni! Toné! has over a million monthly listeners on Spotify? Not bad for a band that hasn’t put out an album since 1996. Can you name a Tony! Toni! Toné! song that isn’t “Feels Good”? I can’t. Can you think of another band with three exclamation points in their name? I can’t. Do you remember when Panic(!) at the Disco removed the exclamation point from their name? I do. Do you remember when Ke$ha removed the dollar sign from her name? I definitely do.

The tangent to end all tangents, but we’re back with Danny (or more matured “Dan”) Torrance and his pal Tony with Doctor Sleep! I was so excited when this novel was coming out I pre-ordered my copy when it was announced. Then never read it. Whoops.

Since I started my King journey, I haven’t let myself watch any new King adaptations of source material I haven’t read, so I got to watch the movie for the first time too! Someday I will finally get to watch The Outsider. I’m actually on a bit of a roll - 5 books in the last month or so.

I ONLY HAVE 12 BOOKS LEFT! PRAISE BE.

King said that a lot of folks would ask him at book signings “What happened to Danny Torrence”? If I was King I’d probably says “I dunno man, he’s not a real person” so I guess that’s why I have no imagination. Instead of sparking annoyance with the insatiable requests of his Constant Readers, it sparked creativity, and that’s why King is king.

Alright, lets actually talk about the book. We’re back with the Torrance family, and for an extremely traumatized family unit, they’re doing ok after Jack’s demise. I mean, the ghost lady from room 217 shows up in the bathtub every now and again, but that’s to be expected right?? The Torrances are living in Florida, stating that there’s no snow in Florida. But they know there’s like, a lot of resorts in Florida right? Presumably haunted by a lot of old biddies sending their food back to the kitchen and tipping their ghost waiters 2%.

There’s a little bit with Wendy, a young Danny and Dick, who’s still around and helping Danny manage his shine. Dick helps Danny lock away the lingering remnants of The Overlook by quite literally locking them in boxes in his mind. Ok sure, I guess?

But we’re not here to find out how Danny’s awkward middle school years were, and so we skip past the braces and straight into the alcoholism. Because of course. Like many flawed-but-heroic King characters, a grown up Dan Torrance has an alcohol problem. Given who his dad was, I can’t say I’m surprised. Dan says it’s a crutch to dim his shine. Genetics and quieting your clairvoyance - the top two causes of alcoholism in the United States.

Dan’s character isn’t any more interesting than the other alcoholics in King’s novels unfortunately. He’s fine; standard “I wanna get better” bullshit. To his credit, he does turn his life around, joining AA, getting a sponsor and settling down in one place for more than 10 minutes. He does shitty things but feels IMENSE guilt afterwards. I suppose remorse is a character strength.

Turns out Dan isn’t really the star of the show here, it’s Abra, a young gal with a very powerful shine who has never even had a sip of whiskey. We’re introduced to Abra as a baby in a terrifying passage about her abilities. As a baby, she starts crying and wakes both her parents from powerful nightmares that include the numbers 11 and 175. Her parents can’t soothe her and it gets so bad they take her to the hospital, where she wails until just shortly after 9:30am. It was September 11, 2001, and the numbers the family had nightmares about were the flight numbers of the terrorist planes. An infant, warning her parents through dreams. I mean, girl’s got it.

Abra grows up and does a bunch of other stuff that can mostly be considered fancy party tricks. She makes small connections with Dan’s mind here and there, but things heat up when we meet The True Knot.

So The True Knot are vampires that aren’t vampires. Because they don’t drink blood, they drink “steam” which is emitted from those that shine while they are tortured. Cool. It’s a new and refreshing take on typical vampire tropes, and they’re decent, other-worldly baddies.

Here’s where things go a little sideways for me. Abra manages to catch the interest of the True Knot’s leader Rose, and you can tell the remainder of the book will be a cat and mouse between the good guys and the bad. We learn that the True Knot has gathered much wealth and resources (as the undead tend to do with all the time in the universe) and they have footholds all throughout the US, including Jerusalem’s Lot and Sidewinder. Yes, the Sidewinder where the Overlook once stood. So how, in gods green earth, did these folks not latch onto a young Danny? His shine was powerful enough for a friggin’ building to attack him, but he somehow slipped past The True.  Someone asks this question in the book and I was not satisfied with the answer.

Plot holes aside, the relationship that Dan and Abra develop is quite charming, and because Dan’s a recovering alcoholic and Abra is 13, this is a romance free story. They team up, and the cat and mouse is amped up because we’re not just chasing The True through the streets but through their minds, with Abra and Rose popping in and out of each others brains like it’s nothing. It’s accelerated even further by the True catching measles from one of their victims. Now, I am looking at you, American Horror Story Season 5, for using this exact same plotline in Hotel two years later.

In the end, Dan gets his redemption arc, a new home, a career, 15 years of sobriety, a family. Abra gets… to live a normal life as a teen? I suppose this is the most important thing when you’re 13.

While a fun, page turning story (I think it took me 3 nights to plow through) there’s really not much to chew on here outside of the fast paced plot. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. It feels to me highly personal retelling of the recovering alcoholic, with Dan fully duking it out with his demons and coming through on the other side. I’d imagine that the parallels with King’s own demons is not all that dissimilar. At times it does feel like reading an advertisement for AA.

At the end of the day, The Shining was a story of alcohol and isolation; Doctor Sleep is a story of sobriety and companionship. One ends well; one does not.

6/10

First Line: On the second day of December in a year when a Georgia peanut farmer was doing business in the White House, one of Colorado’s great resort hotels burned to the ground.

Last Line: “Until you sleep”, he said.

Adaptations:

I feel more and more letdown with every modern King adaptation I’ve consumed recently.

The new Stand miniseries? Hated it.

1922? Hated it.

The new Pet Semetary? HATED IT.

Lisey’s Story? Currently watching and hating it.

Dark Tower? COME FREAKING ON.

I’m trying to remember the last King adaptation that didn’t make me go “meh”. I suppose IT: Chapter One? Gerald’s Game was good too I guess. I absolutely adore Castle Rock, but Hulu cancelled it because they’re stupid heads.

I actually miss the “so bad it’s good” movies of the early years - I’d rather watch Cat’s Eye 20 times than have to sit through 1922 again.

I was anxious for Doctor Sleep because I love love love Mike Flanagan movies and he did a decent job with Gerald’s Game. Oculus and Hush are two of my favorite modern horror movies, and if you ever want me to jabber on for hours on end, ask me about The Haunting Netflix series.

Unfortunately, I filed Doctor Sleep into the “meh” column. It’s a hard adaptation; remember that the Overlook exploded in the book, but was still standing at the end of the movie. Dick dies in the movie, but he’s still kicking it in the book. The list of inconsistencies go on and on.

It’s like how David Yates had to clean up the whole patronuses-are-actually-animals thing after Alfonso Cuaron’s creative decisions in Prisoner of Azkaban. If you get that reference, you win today’s nerd award (TM).

So Flanagan had his work cut out for him and he does well at marrying the two parallel universe storylines. The most infuriating plot-hole in the movie was the fact that they let The Overlook rot after the Torrance family left? I mean, Grady killed his wife, two girls and himself, and the owners decided to keep on keepin’ on, but sure, they decided to pack their money-filled suitcases and close up shop when Jack Torrance bites it by freezing to death in the hedge maze? Sure thing.

But it wasn’t bad. It was just fine. It’s ok.

Would I recommend this movie to someone? Sure?