#Avocado baby

[thominyourside]

I feel like I’m the host of a terrible gameshow

And the guests on today’s quiz are celebrities

Won’t respond to any clues, they’re just cracking jokes for views

but the answers to these questions mean everything

I had a friend who had made a flag day,

blood on their hands from shards of a heartbreak

I have known friends to crack from love’s weight,

blossom in ribcage until their backs break

Oh it won’t get better, that doesn’t mean it’s gonna get any worse

You’re final draft of life-long love letter, signed to the man who will be driving your hearse

[quaintpanic]

oooOOOOOOooooo im CRAZY. im INSNANE

[paintpanic]

draw uhhh an avocado baby with gooey

true and real avocado baby and slightly off-model gooey

[thatonecode]

when los campesinos! said “And when the third world war comes it will not be fought on race, we will line up here in two rows, betrayers versus betrayed” and “I assembled former ghosts at a seance. Said I missed ‘em you only have to say it once. What i truly fear, maybe selfishly, when i finally rest someone will summon me” and “We tread it carefully, we feel around in kid gloves. What death will leave behind, death will leave behind love. We will flower again i have surely seen it, we will flower again” and “Two wrists, two wrist watches. Tick-tick-tocking, second hand slightly out of time. A constant subtle reminder, one of us will be gone before bells of the other chime.” and “And I feel like I'm the host of a terrible game show and the guests on today's quiz are celebrities. Wont respond to any clues theyre just cracking jokes for views, but the answers to these questions mean everything.” and “I ask before I go, for you to drop a match down my throat, and smoke the bastard out, or burn him to a crisp. Cause i'm already carrion, been eaten from inside for too long” and “There was more life in the weeds than in the few hundred seats, in rows from transcept to chancel to nave. And when their anger had paused i turned and answered their calls with youre just audience I’m the applause” and “We burnt all the skin from the palms of my hands, with an old zippo lighter and deodorant can. I went to the palmist and asked her to read, no heart line no sun line no life line no need” and “If you were given the option of dying painlessly in peace at 45, but with a lover at your side, after a full and happy life. Is this something that would interest you? Would this interest you at all?” and “In a note I read: “if you should go blind and deaf I’ll cleanse and I’ll cook for you daily, I will take a dry ballpoint pen and trace on your chest all of the conversations that we now have in bed” i dont mean to be selfish, but i think i’d sooner just be dead" and “But if this changed your life did you have one before?” and “We learn over time, that tolerance is more appealing in theory than in practice. I identify my star sign by asking which is least compatible with yours” and “I cannot emphasize enough that my body, is a badly designed poorly put together vessel harbouring these diminishing so called vital organs, i hope my heart goes first I HOPE MY HEART GOES FIRST” and “On your request I compiled a list of my top five resolutions for this year (1!) I declined, cause Ive decided that I (2!) do not believe in the new year anymore (3!) and you must confess that at times like these hopefulness is tantamount hopelessness (4!) and i accept that its time for a change but not in places (5!) like this (5!) with people (5!) like these (5!)” and “And no more conversations about which breakfast club character you'd be. I’d be the one that dies. (no one dies) Well then what’s the point?” and “Doe eyes, you’re kidding yourself” and-

[nyxtalksmusic]

Oh, it won't get better That doesn't mean it's gonna get any worse

[mdidesign]

("Mamacado Avocado" Laptop Sleeve for Sale by FARAYDESIGN gönderdi)

[ilonacho]

got him eggnant lol

[eupheme]

idk if you’re taking requests if not please feel free to ignore this, friend!! 🩷 but… wade inviting you over for a movie night just to stick on a horror flick, because he knows you’ll get scared and want to cuddle up against him for safety? :3c

ahh avocado, I love this! 👀💖 Wade would be such a good movie buddy, I love a good trivia fact/IMDb check and I know he would know it all. Thanks so much for sending this in! And hope you like it.

wade wilson x reader | 350 words

Wade thumb taps on the remote, switching back and forth between the choices. The thumbnails flicker - a black and red forest, the faces of a woman and daughter, a girl crawling out of a television.

"Your pick, peanut. What's your poison?"

He likes the way your shoulder brushes his, as you shift on the couch. The way your teeth sink into your lip as you try to choose, indecisive little squirrel that you were.

"I've seen Blair Witch," You hum, "It wasn't that scary."

Wade had stayed up all night after watching it for the first time. Weasel kept facing the corner in the bar all weekend, and he'd been ready to kill him.

"Okay, main-character-in-the-movie-Brave. What about this one?"

He flicks to another, the trailer starting to roll behind the title.

"Merida." You shrug, "And sure, sounds good."

Gotcha.

"Are you sure?" He needles, drawing the syllables out, "Scarier than Blair Witch. Might not be able to handle it."

You frown, "That's the one with the kids, right? Can't be that bad, they never get hurt in movies. They're just creepy."

Wade gives an aside glance.

A slow press of his thumb as he queues up Hereditary. Slumping down into the couch, as you follow suit.

"Well, if I get scared," He offers, "You'd better hold my hand."

“Deal.”

He doesn't miss the way you try to suppress a smile. Lips pressing together, the little glance you send his way.

This might be one of his best ideas yet.

The movie starts - the camera panning across a room, slowly zooming in on the model house.

34 minutes in, and you're practically in his lap. A leg thrown over his thigh, your face buried against his shoulder.

"You want me to pause it, pookie?"

"No," It's muffled, "I can do it.”

A beat, before you add, "Can I just stay like this until it's over?"

He likes how you soften, as his arm wraps around you. The scene is already over, but he's absolutely going to drag this out for at least another minute.

Suck it, Trebek. And Logan.

He totally knows how to make a plan.

thanks again!! 💖

[roennq]

NELSON AND MURDOCK Avocados Attorneys at Law (Winging it since 2015)

[stworzonka]

CREATURE BITE ATTACK

[shadowisabean]

Avocado? More like Avoca-don't! 🥑

*Edit: this was just a silly video and I knew he wouldn't eat the avocado. Please don't give your dog avocado as it's really bad for them. 🚫🥑🐶

[quaintpanic]

This happened to me in real life.

[m4movies]

Good Morning Friends

[littletealseal]

I was feeling really awful earlier so I did some vent agere doodles, and then made these

[mdidesign]

("Mamacado Avocado" Classic T-Shirt for Sale by FARAYDESIGN gönderdi)

[ilonacho]

Avo's turn