#Asexual and Demisexuals coming together to date

[inks-books]

So like I'm going on a date with this wonderful lady on Monday, and my ace heart is thinking of cute things we can do on later dates when we haven't even had our first date and part of my brain is like "This is going overboard." and the other part is like "Let me live my cute romantic life I've always wanted to spoil someone with cute shit but have been to afraid to branch out!!!"

Anyway Monday we're doing dinner and a scary movie, but the next time it rains I want her to come to my house, sit on the covered front porch with me in my rocking chairs, and drink hot tea together and just talk as we watch the rainfall and then maybe watch a movie afterwards.

I'm a simple enby with simple desires is this weird??? Or is it cute? I need feedback all the women in my life say it's cute but the men are like "That's weird. Only people who've known each other forever do stuff like that." and granted I've known her a year and in lesbian time that's a lot, and when she asked me out I thought she was kidding at first, but now it's happening and my heart is happy but at the same time scared that I'm going to run her off by suggesting too much too quickly.

Thoughts??

[heybatterbats]

I’ve been seeing entirely too many posts about how ace-spec people aren’t really LGBTQ+ and don’t belong at Pride. And I got mad about it. So…*aces your Batfamily*

Yes, all of them. Every last one is now ace-spec in some way. They even named their dog Ace.

Bruce is sex-neutral biromantic demisexual, and came out by accident at age 24 to a random reporter who was not expecting it. This sparked a social media storm that was only halted by the much bigger social media storm of Bruce adopting Dick.

The Batman has been asked his sexuality before. Bruce replied- perfectly straight faced- that the Batman is an asexually reproductive entity and creates its Robins via mitosis. A third of Gotham, most of Metropolis, and several members of the Justice League still believe this.

Dick is sex-repulsed biromantic asexual, and is of the type to make the dirtiest jokes you’ve ever heard because sex is a joke to him. Came out in the form of an acrobatics performance he did at a pride parade, wearing a terrible Batman costume with a bi heart as the Batsymbol, an ace flag cape, and no pants. The audience was ecstatic. Bruce was mortified.

Nightwing has never said his sexuality, but anyone who claims he’s straight is quickly met with pictures of the Discowing suit and up to a dozen laughing emojis.

Jason is sex-repulsed aromantic asexual. He’s not as vocal about it as Dick is, but he does like it to be known. He’s the type to make garlic bread/cake/world domination jokes. And ESPECIALLY dragon jokes. He kinda tends to just insert it casually into conversation, he didn’t do anything crazy to come out. It’s just a fact about him.

Red Hood claims to be sexually attracted exclusively to guns. Bruce hates this joke.

Tim is the opposite of Bruce- he’s sex-positive bisexual demiromantic. One of the few Batkids to come out while in costume- he got a concussion on a case and blearily mumbled into Bruce’s hair that he’s “you but backwards” and completely confused Bruce. Tim is a little shy about his identity, but since dating Bernard he’s been more open about it.

Red Robin is out as bisexual, but hasn’t added demiromantic to that. Tim is worried people will piece his secret identity together, since Tim doesn’t realize that most normal people are not highly skilled detectives who can tell a person’s identity from a single acrobatics move.

At the moment, Damian just thinks he’s feeling the normal “ew cooties” that most children do. In the future he’ll realize that he’s sex-repulsed ace/aro, although he’ll refuse to use those terms in favor of broodily muttering “this bloodline dies with me.” Ra’s has an actual heart attack the first time Damian says this to his face and has to go into the Lazarus Pit to recover. Talia has never been more proud.

Barbara is sex-neutral, demiromantic and asexual. She’s more outspoken about it than most of the family, and runs social media pages about disability and the asexuality spectrum alike. Aphobes and ableists that make the mistake of leaving comments often mysteriously find that their most embarrassing search histories have been sent to their grandmother.

Cass is sex-repulsed ace/aro. Steph was the one to explain sexuality to her, and also made her an ace ring. Cass told Bruce first, then the rest of the family. She’s never come out publicly- Cass doesn’t like media attention being on her- but some sharp-eyed Gothamites who are looking can spot the black ring on Cassandra Cain-Wayne’s middle finger in a few paparazzi shots the papers got their hands on. (I have a fic about this!)

Black Bat has never been asked her sexuality, mainly because she’s absolutely terrifying and nobody can stammer out the words when faced with her.

Stephanie is sex-positive graysexual grayromantic, and absolutely not shy about it. She’s almost as good as Dick at making horrible, filthy jokes. Has punched a guy in the face for aphobia, does not regret it. Stephanie is out and proud and loud about it.

Spoiler/Batgirl III have both been seen wearing a rainbow flag as a cape too many times for anyone to assume they’re straight.

Duke is sex-neutral demisexual/demiromantic, and is probably the most open about it of the whole Batfamily. He’s fully out and so is Signal, and will inevitably show up at any daytime Pride event just to say hi. Gotham adores him, and he’s practically the ace-spec community’s mascot. Can and will use the entire rainbow spectrum of light to create various pride flags over Gotham whenever he feels like it, and has started taking flag/location requests. Once turned the Batsignal gay.

Harper is sex-positive bisexual aromantic, and where Stephanie is loud about it, Harper gets violent. She carries a souped-up taser and doesn’t hesitate to use it. Has knocked at least four homophobes/aphobes out cold not counting the ones she beat up in the Narrows. Bluebird is not only publicly out as bisexual but wears two out of three bisexual colors, and while it’s not come up publicly yet, she won’t hide that she’s aromantic either. Along with Signal and Spoiler, Bluebird is one of the vigilantes that’s known for being specifically good at handling LGBTQ+ issues. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

After being forcibly outed as gay and then bullied for it, Cullen is still in the closet about the fact that he’s asexual and sex-repulsed, too. The first person he told after Harper was Alfred. By now the whole family knows, but they’ve been careful to keep it away from the media until Cullen’s ready to come out himself.

Alfred is sex-neutral, aromantic, and pansexual, though he’s older than some of those terms and doesn’t often use them to describe himself. Bruce didn’t know Alfred was anything but straight until he was almost seventeen, to which Alfred replied- signature eyebrow raise at full height capacity- that he had a career in the theater, Master Bruce, and no one who does that can possibly be typical in matters of orientation or any other aspect of life.

The outfit might seem antithetical to this, but Selina is ace too! Specifically, she’s sex-positive, heteroromantic and demisexual. The leather outfit is primarily for distraction purposes rather than true sex appeal. When it comes to Bruce, however, Selina’s more than once described herself as “morosexual.” Bruce, bless him, still has no idea what that means.

There ya go. Ace-spec Batfam. Happy Pride to everyone but especially all you fellow ace-spec folks who absolutely, 100% belong there.

[buddierecs]

mutual pining buddie fics

all explicit rating - 18+ only!!!! make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

good pretender (highly, highly recommend!!!!!) by: likeshipsonthesea "an au where buck broke up with taylor before 5b, ravi and buck become (actually platonic) friends with benefits, and ravi, eddie, and buck all go on a journey of self-discovery that ends with them all getting what they need" word count: 85k important tags: friends with benefits (buckandravi), casual sex, childhood tramua, healing, feelings realisation, jealous!eddie diaz, ptsd, love confessions, anal sex the best life is the truth (my best mask is my face) by: letmetellyouaboutmyfeels the buckleys are celebrating their 50th anniversary, and maddie and buck are both expected to come. to take the heat off maddie, buck impulsively blurts out that he's seeing someone new. obviously, there's only one solution: bring eddie as his fake boyfriend, pretend to be in love with him, and survive the weekend with minimal bloodshed. no problem, except for the, uh. "pretend" part." word count: 43k important tags: fake dating, idiots to lovers, there was only one bed, eventual smut dance with me by jayjay__884 "buck is at his sister's bachelorette party when he gets dragged to a strip club. despite not liking the place, buck meets a stripper that makes his night surprisingly enjoyable. the connection he has with eddie only intensifies after he pulls buck on stage and gives him a dance that's the start of something perfect." word count: 249k important tags: stripper/exotic dancer au, first meetings, stripper!eddie diaz, lap dance/sex, light angst, lots of smut eddie diaz vs the feelings by: elvensorcess eddie dives into the mysteries of attraction, romantic love, and asexuality because there's a good chance he's fallen in love with his best friend. aka demisexual!eddie figures out he’s demi and finds the happily ever after he’s been longing for" word count: 62k important tags: demisexual!eddie diaz, idiots in love, sexual tension, frottage, hand jobs, anal sex, soft!buddie, slow burn, top!evan buckley, bottom!eddie diaz chafe the skin (you know i like it rough) by: honestlydarkprincess "the stubble fic" word count: 5.9k important tags: beard kink, stubble burn, comeslut!evan buckely, blowjobs, deepthroating, rimming, anal sex, dom!eddie diaz, sub!evan buckley all it took was a backwards baseball cap by: honestlydarkprincess "the one in which eddie loses his shit at buck wearing a backwards baseball cap. seriously, can this man get more attractive? is he trying to kill eddie?" word count: 4.9k important tags: boys in love, workplace sex, sexual tension, getting together, semi-public sex, blow jobs, come play, hand jobs drink the river dry by: rianne "eddie gets shot, breaks up with his girlfriend, and pines like there’s no tomorrow." word count: 32k important tags: injury recovery, unresolved sexual tension, friends to lovers, getting together, anal sex, evan buckley has a praise kink, demisexual!eddie diaz, bottom!evan buckley, top!eddie diaz if i lay here, would you life with me (forget the word) by: browney3dgirl6 "the one where eddie’s in the army, shannon gives up her rights to chris, and eddie needs a babysitter. good thing lena knows buck, the guy having nothing better to do than help babysit until eddie gets back. eddie would come home, and he would leave; it wasn’t like they were going to build some lifetime friendship or anything." word count: 90k important tags: different first meeting au, army!eddie diaz, slow burn, idiots in love, literal sleeping together, long distance relationship, soft!buddie, eventual smut

- pt 2 explicit mutual pining buddie fics - mature rating mutual pining fics - general audience rating mutual pining fics

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | March 4th-10th 2024

IT'S PREMIERE WEEK!!!!

Complete

🔥Eddie Diaz vs The Feelings by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress (S6, Sexuality Crisis, Demisexual Eddie | 62K | Explicit): Eddie dives into the mysteries of attraction, romantic love, and asexuality because there's a good chance he's fallen in love with his best friend. AKA demisexual!Eddie figures out he’s demi and finds the happily ever after he’s been longing for

🔥 tell me that i’m all you want (even when i break your heart) by asteriasera/ @asteriasera (Post-S6, Exes to Lovers | 12K | Teen): Buck and Eddie kiss one night, fall in love and don’t say it, then forget to fall out of it when they break up and try to move on with their lives.

Buddie, You're Hot by chronicallystendan (Coming Out, Friends to Fiances | 1K | Teen): Buck is helping Eddie get ready for a date when he ends up outing himself as bi – something he thought Eddie already knew. Wasn't it obvious? - Eddie pursed his lips as he tried not to laugh. "Careful," he said. "That sounded a little bit gay." "A little?" Buck snorted. "Eddie, if you weren't straight, I would be all over you." Eddie's lips parted in surprise and his eyebrows pinched together slightly. "What?"

You Should've Just Kissed Me by chronicallystendan (Post S6E13: Mixed Feelings, Misunderstanding | 2K | Teen): Set after the Poker Date Night, Buck overhears Eddie talking about being set up on a date and wonders aloud why Eddie doesn't just explain that he's already in a relationship - with Buck. -

I'd shine up the old brown shoes, I'd put on a brand-new shirt by trysetmeonfire/ @try-set-me-on-fire (S7 Spec | 3K | Teen): Chris is going on his first date. Eddie calls Buck for backup.

how's your head? (haven't had any complaints) by bucksclipboard (Pre-Buddie | 2K | Mature): When he glanced over, Buck had already drifted off to sleep. He looked so innocent, Eddie almost couldn’t believe what had come out of his mouth mere seconds ago. Almost. Because he was 100 percent sure he’d heard it. or: you can’t just make this kind of joke and forget about it

a place where i feel at home by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Established Buddie | 3K | General): Moments like these remind Buck how much Eddie knows and loves him. Others would push and push Buck when he’s tired and struggling with his words, trying and failing to string together his thoughts, which he can barely do when he’s wide awake and alert. But Eddie never pushes. OR: Sleepy Buck wants cuddles with his boyfriend.

Cooperative Species of the Southern Coastal Husbro by Mad_Lori/ @madlori (Future Fic, Buddie Wedding, Outsider POV | 11K | Teen): In which Abby Clark attends Buck and Eddie's wedding. (Part 6 of Life Cycles of the Southern Coastal Husbro)

a madman and a minstrel by Maira/ @carrierofthepaperclips (Getting Together | 2K | Teen): ...or, the one where Eddie is drugged and confesses his feelings for Buck. To Buck.

and i always will by Maira/ @carrierofthepaperclips (Getting Together | 2K | Mature): ... or, the one where Eddie answers the wrong phone.

Through The Open Window by inkinmyheartandonthepage (Madney Wedding, Getting Together | 2K | General): At the reception of Maddie and Chimney wedding, Eddie stumbles across a Buckley sibling moment and overhears something he probably wasn't meant to hear just yet.

The Night Shift by Veronae (Getting Together | 2K | Teen): “I think I’m in love with Eddie.” Heart pounding against his breastbone, Eddie gripped the handrail of the staircase so hard his fingers turned numb. Buck. That was Buck’s voice.

lay your cards down, down, down by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Post-S6, , Married in Vegas | 6K | Mature): Buck and Eddie get drunk at Chim's bachelor party and wake up married.

For the rest of my life (for the rest of yours) by JamesPearce911/ @diazsdimples (Post-S6, Established (secret) Buddie | 10K | General): OR Buck, Eddie and Christopher go to the zoo to see the baby hippo and Eddie gets all up in his feels about it.

normal again? by disasterbuckdiaz/ @disasterbuckdiaz (S7 Spec | 1K | General): Buck and Eddie talk in the gym about what happened at the cruise call

take my hand (take my whole life too) by Maira/ @carrierofthepaperclips (Magical Realism AU | 5K | Teen): ... or, the one where Buck thinks he's allergic to Eddie.

Fractals from the Lightning Bolt by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (One Shots Collection | 52/54 | 95K | Not Rated): A collection of oneshots, some originally posted on tumblr. Each chapter is individually rated.

52. Release the Swimmers (PWP, Explicit)

WIP

🔥 because we'll all arrive in heaven alive by callmenewbie/ @puppyboybuckley (Post-S6, Disaster Fic | 8/10 | 51K | Explicit): During a search and rescue, Eddie disappears without a trace, leaving Buck to grapple with the sudden possibility of a life without him.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, S7 Spec | 121/? | 369K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 5/18 | 32K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

Kiss Me Once Cause You Know I Had A Long Night by I_still_dont_understand_13 / @sherlockcrossing (Prompt collection | 28/? | 18K | Teen): 100 kiss prompts.

28. 17. Sliding your hands down your lover's chest 

🔥 if i need to rearrange my particles — i will for you. by dylaesthetics (Post-S6, Identity Porn | 9/11 | 22K | Teen): OR Buck joins a support app for first responders and matches with a firefighter who has PTSD and a kid who likes giraffes, apparently.

[pichirobi]

put your hands together for yet another hualian college au 🥳🥳🎉

once the star valedictorian of his high school, xie lian is now a broke, failing college student surviving on packaged ramen fished out of cafeteria garbage cans. his luck turns for the better when he meets the mysterious art student who's filled his canvases with portraits of xie lian.

fic series | au tag | notes under the cut! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

xie lian (he/him, asexual)

xie lian's parents laid him off so he takes odd jobs, tutors, and does homework for anyone he can get to pity him. all of his money is spent on rent, and a cheap gym membership he abuses so he can at least look like he's functional on the outside. he bodybuilds his stress away.

his grades are terrible. xl's actually a greatly diligent student and does all his work, he just keeps misremembering due dates, and his professors are the kind that give zeroes on assignments typed in the wrong font.

he's kept fed by his roommate, shi qingxuan (she/he). xie lian's saved her ass from academic probation enough times for it to be embarrassing. their bond is more of a silent agreement to look out for each other.

hua cheng (he/they, demisexual)

his parents died when he was young but they left him a small fortune. he doesn't show off his money, unless it's to dress opulently outside of class and treating xl to expensive restaurants.

hua cheng takes like six courses a semester, four of which are obscure electives. he says it's because he likes to keep himself well-rounded and busy, but he has a ridiculous amount of free time anyway.

he's a perfect student but his professors are wary of him. he thinks very little of most professors and talks back to them in such a way where they can't tell if they've been insulted or not.

hc chooses the same art concentration every semester. portraits of the same beautiful boy at various ages. sometimes his art professor can get him to paint butterflies feeding on flowers.

hualian's backstory

their story begins on a playground. 10-year-old xie lian scares off mean kids bullying 8-year-old hua cheng over his heterochromia (one of the mean kids is qi rong). xie lian tells him he thinks hua cheng's eyes are pretty. xie lian wears earrings and has long hair that he braids with flowers, and he doesn't care what other kids think of him. he won't let anyone be bullied for their appearance.

we know what comes next—endless pining. hua cheng's infatuation grows as, from a distance, he watches his noble, gracious, special classmate defend kids who are easy targets (with the help of feng xin and mu qing) and earns the title of teacher's pet. hua cheng gains the bravery to stop covering his eye, until hualian are separated in chuzhong (secondary/middle school). the bullying returns and hua cheng swears to never take off the eye bandage again.

hua cheng's "young soldier" moment is at a halloween party in their last year of gaozhong (high school). hc's dressed as a ghost, face painted and almost unrecognizable. xie lian's dressed as a rabbit. qi rong spikes his cup of water. xl's top is sleeveless and it's unintentionally drawing unwanted attention to his shredded arms. some asshole teen girls won't leave him alone and keep flirting with/grabbing him. hua cheng tells them to fuck off and scares them away. although xie lian is indeed incredibly gorgeous and hua cheng is incredibly flustered, after the party, he makes sure to escort a drunk xie lian home.

some guy xl's never seen the face of starts rumors that xie lian paid off the administration to name him valedictorian, and that he sweet-talks his teachers into bullshitting his grades. he's the understudy for the lead role in a school play. the girl who was meant to lead falls horrifically sick and is in the hospital for some time. the guy who hides his face spreads another rumor that xie lian is the one who put her in the hospital so xl could have the attention/spotlight. other students gradually join in on the fun of bashing xl, knocking an admirable figure down to their level, until people start avoiding him, and his popularity is lost. feng xin and mu qing distance themselves from xie lian. hua cheng gets more detentions than usual for picking fights with anyone who dares to insult xie lian in front of him.

hualian in college

their third-first meeting is when xie lian is down on his luck, drenched from the rain as he just barely misses his bus to campus. hua cheng appears, stands next to xie lian with a red umbrella, and wordlessly waits with him for the next bus.

xie lian doesn't see the kind stranger again until he needs to track down the dean of xianle university, jun wu. jun wu is chatting with the head of the studio art department. while xl politely waits for their conversation to end, he looks around at the art students milling about, and catches that tall, handsome, kind stranger staring at him. the stranger smiles, looks down, and leaves. xl wanders the room to check out the art pieces scattered around, and comes to an easel in the corner. xl is faced with a painting of...himself. the signed name is written so poorly he can't read it.

hua cheng comes to him next. he introduces himself as "san lang" and asks xie lian for tutoring—not for any subject, but to improve his handwriting. cue montage of soft-spoken critiques and hands gently touching and hua cheng confessing his admiration via the poem they're practicing writing together. xie lian doesn't recognize hua cheng from their childhood but fixates on that lovely deep voice, trying to place where he's heard it before. hua cheng tries to overpay him but xie lian refuses, saying hc can tip him by grabbing lunch with xl. they meet up for calligraphy practice once a week.

san lang is generous and protective and patient. san lang is flirty and dependable and mischievous. he's also very, very handsome, distractingly so, "how can it be that no one's fought for the affection of a guy like you?" throughout the wild events of xie lian's life, hua cheng is right by his side. from helping ling wen the librarian organize hundreds of books and scrolls, to uncovering the schemes of pei ming's vengeful ex, to stopping the dangerous "pranks" of xl's insane cousin qi rong.

xie lian and shi qingxuan's dorm is falling apart at the seams. hua cheng spends a day and night with them helping to clean and renovate. he sleeps over (AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED ?!). xie lian wakes up to a new canvas painting on his bedroom wall. it's a beautiful portrait of himself, as a child, with flowers braided in long hair. in the bottom right corner is a signed name that xie lian can now read, the handwriting marginally improved.

xie lian finds that he stops expecting misfortune. he gains friends. his grades improve. at one of shi wudu's lake parties, xie lian nearly drowns, and hua cheng gives him totally unnecessary mouth-to-mouth. (they take this as inspiration to find completely bullshit excuses to kiss in the future.)

later on at the same lake party, they find a moment alone, warming/drying up by a fire pit. hua cheng alludes to being in love with someone who saw him at his worst. xie lian is envious of that. he firmly tells hua cheng that what matters is him, not the state of him.

misc

hua cheng has been going blind in his right eye for over a decade, and by college, he can just make out changes in light with it.

hualian definitely have a "draw me like one of your french girls" scene while their relationship is ambiguous. feng xin walks in and has prayed every day since then that he's knocked on the head so hard he gets amnesia.

hua cheng gradually leaves more and more of his belongings in xie lian's room until he practically lives there ("oh gege, how silly of me, leaving my toothbrush with you for the 23rd time this month 😇").

feng xin still calls xie lian "dianxia"; it was xl's nickname throughout primary school because he was such a beloved little prince 😌

feng xin and mu qing insist they're sworn rivals, but sign up to be each other's dormmates every semester. ("i know mu qing's every move. how many pillows he enjoys sleeping with. how he likes his coffee in the morning. you have to keep a vigilant eye on the enemy, dianxia.")

shi wudu offers xie lian an absurd amount of money to spy on report back weekly updates on shi qingxuan's life. xie lian politely refuses.

pei ming and lang qianqiu are gym lunks. sometimes they workout with xie lian, barely disguising their true intention of competing with each other.

hua cheng will occasionally waste time at a bar owned by he xuan. he plays poker and wins nearly every game by sheer luck. he doesn't bet money, but instead has the losers do something embarrassing for his own entertainment. he gains a fearful reputation, and mixes drinks when he's bored of playing or when no one in the room is brave enough to bet with him.

hua cheng makes up increasingly ridiculous stories as to why he covers his eye when he's asked. "it shoots a deadly laser." "a bear scratched it out, but i took its skin after. it made a nice rug." "my eye is right there. what are you talking about? are you okay?"

xie lian rescues a small, hungry cat he names banyue. he asks hua cheng to house her as he lives off-campus. the conversation goes like this:

"gege..."

"san lang 🥺"

"FINE."

qi rong buys a cat just to copy xie lian and names it guzi.

[syrena-del-mar]

People forget that actors don't owe anybody the knowledge of their sexuality. Whether that be lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, demisexual, asexual, or any other sexuality. That includes their dating history or who they're currently dating. Actors only owe the public one thing: that they do their job and that they do it well.

If that job consists of partaking in CP/ship culture, consume their media knowing that what they show you in public is curated for you as a fan. If they're dating someone who is not their partner, they're not cheating you; they're not making a mockery out of you or of queer relationships. With ship work, they're simply doing their job how their culture expects them to.

Ship work is not queerbaiting. Living, breathing humans do not queerbait. Queerbaiting comes from a marketing tactic for fictional entertainment work to ensure that they don't alienate their straight audience while also ensuring queer interest. You're consuming BLs and GLs, where the shows deliver in the promised relationships. If you're consuming BL/GL, you should know that fanservice generally follows.

Fanservice works because it's understood to be common practice. It's acting, an extension of whatever series they're promoting. Also, realize that fans often find themselves so invested in a couple that a hug or even a tiny brush of their hands will be considered 'evidence' of a relationship. Friends can flirt, 'lovingly' touch each other, and mess around without it meaning anything.

That's still not queerbaiting.

Because of how advanced technology has become, we have so much access to these actors/actresses. Accessibility does not equal entitlement to know how they identify. Claiming an individual is 'queerbaiting' only causes harm in the long term because you might unknowingly force someone to come out of the closet before they were ever ready to be. This only pushes media/reporters to continuously ask for information that isn't anyone's business to drum up engagement, potentially exploiting them for clicks. There's no need to inquire about their personal life, relationships, or sexuality.

But what if they take cryptic 'couple' photos with someone other than their work partner? Stop searching. Take their social media posts at face value. Stop trying to come up with some 'gotcha' moment, whether that be actually dating their work partner or some other individual. It's their personal life (curated, but still their life); you're overstepping, and if what you find out upsets you, then it's time to pull away.

It's really that simple.

Just because you buy into the fantasy a little too much and invest yourself in the pseudo-relationship does not mean the actors are queerbaiters. At the end of the day, fanservice is just that—a service provided for the fans. In other words, it's a job. Finding out that an actor/actress is dating someone of the opposite sex does not make them queerbaiters. (Also, realize that dating someone of the opposite sex does not signify that they're straight; whether they are or not, it's none of your business.)

If an actor/actress's personal relationships make you so mentally unwell because they're not with the onscreen partner, it just means you've genuinely detached yourself from reality. I mean this sincerely, if you're at this point, find help. Try to learn and understand more about why you're putting so much of yourself into a parasocial relationship. It's unhealthy for you to get so worked up that you feel sick because two coworkers aren't together.

If you find out that you're not a fan of CP work because you feel lied to or cheated, just don't consume it. Simply watch the show, look up their artist profile to see what other works they've been in, and log off. Don't follow them on social media, don't look up their fan meets, or watch video compilations that fans have made for shipping.

You're the master curator of your online consumption.

Curate it.

[no-psi-nan]

[Context]

Ok @fluffydice, sorry for the lateness on this one but as anyone following this blog for over 5 minutes probably knows, I think Aiura x Saiki x Akechi makes so much sense and it is insanely compelling to me. I've posted so much fanfic about it already and that's only like 20% of the Thoughts™ I've had about them tbh.

But when you're doing an analysis of a triad, you have to breakdown 3 different ships and also how they would work simultaneously, so I needed time to write it all up. Buckle in!

Let's talk about Saiki x Aiura first since they had the most screen time together and they're the most "canon". I was genuinely shocked to see how rare this pairing is in fandom when they're literally canonically soulmates and also actually prove it on their every interaction.

From their very first meeting, Aiura and Saiki work together flawlessly to save Yumehara's life many times in a row + the life of the truck driver. Aiura then figures out how to hang out with Saiki without having to deal with his tsundere rejection, which he can leave at any time (unlike with Teruhashi) because she knows about his powers and won't stir up trouble if he leaves. Saiki keeps allowing her to schedule 1:1 dates and is basically like "don't bother asking me, you know I'll go" about the dessert buffet date lol.

Even when they disagree and neither of them will back down, they still work wonderfully together and they both end up learning and growing from it. Saiki trusts Aiura to help him, and Aiura always agrees to help him just because she cares. That's HUGE considering how hard it is for Saiki to ask for literally anything!!

Aiura also respects Saiki's boundaries more than anyone else imo. She only joins him when he's out in public, she tries her usual heavy-handed flirting at first but quickly adjusts when she realizes he's not into it, she puts her clothes back on immediately after realizing that she misunderstood the situation, she starts asking him out instead of just joining him, she asks for a kiss and respects his "no", and she hugs him anyways because they both really need it after the stress of the day.

And Saiki responds to that, opening up more with Aiura than he has with anyone else in way less time. Aiura had under 2 years with Saiki while Saiki's core friend group had like 6 years, and yeah, she benefited some from his character growth over the past 4 years. But still, the way he banters with her shows how comfortable he is– he's more open with her than with anybody else, and not just with his annoyance like he is with Toritsuka lmao.

Also, come ON, there's just no one more deserving of an epic husband/wife local god with transformation powers than Aiura. She works so hard with her powers to help everyone and convinces Saiki to help others more and she helps him get the best outcomes for everyone. Let her get her hands on her soulmate who can make her bi dreams come true, who can give her third eye a break from constantly seeing auras and death marks, who can grow big fluffy wings to hug her with, etc etc etc!!!!! LET HER HAVE SOME FUN FFS!!

There's wayyyy more people forcing Aiura into the platonic bucket with Saiki than I've seen with Teruhashi (even though Aiura has way better chemistry with Saiki), which forces me to wonder whether it's because Aiura is more overtly sexual and "lowbrow" than Teruhashi, showing more cleavage, getting bad grades, putting stickers on her face because they're cute, showing pride in her sexual escapades. None of those make her a bad person, but a lot of people seem to think it does.

Some people more reasonably point out that if Saiki is very asexual and Aiura has a high libido then that could cause trouble for them. Well, first of all, while Saiki is pretty much obviously somewhere in the asexual and aromantic spectrum, his belief that boyfriend is the next level after best friend shows that demiromantic / demisexual is a strong possibility for him. And honestly I'd argue that whatever he has going on with Satou is at least partially sexual, though I'm not going to get into that in this already long-ass post lol.

But basically, I think there's a lot of room for a demiromantic and graysexual interpretation of Saiki and considering that Aiura has apparently stopped going out with other men for at least 2 years with no ill effects that we can see, it's quite possible that they'll be very compatible in bed after all. And if not, that's where consensual non-monogamy comes in lol. But genuinely I think that the fact that they're soulmates means that there probably aren't any major incompatibilities between them, otherwise the term would be meaningless.

So yeah, makes sense and really compelling because there's so much room for stories on how they actually got together, how they work together as their powers continue growing, and what their future looks like!

OKAY, now it's time for the Saikechi essay lol.

Actually, I don't think Saikechi needs a ton of justification, because it's kinda standard extrovert x introvert childhood friends to lovers lol. Saikechi only isn't more popular because Akechi appears for like 5 whole minutes in the undubbed second season of the anime and he was annoying for 90% of that time hsfjdlshfks rip.

But yeah, Akechi and Saiki are quite perfect together, as shown by the horse gambling episode. Akechi can see right through Saiki's tsundere facade and Akechi is extremely open about his wants and needs, which is important since Saiki can't properly understand his thoughts most of the time and is very bad at figuring that stuff out even with telepathy.

They're both some flavor of ace. Akechi offu's at Teruhashi and comments that she's the most beautiful women he's ever seen, but does not express wanting to date her, which is big ace vibes, plus he's one of the few characters that doesn't have anything to say about Aiura's boobs lol (even Teruhashi can't shut up about them). They're also similar flavors of highly intelligent + neurodivergent. Consider Akechi's analysis skills vs Saiki's ability to come up with dozens, if not hundreds of plans in extremely short notice.

Akechi is also great at making accommodations for Saiki's powers, even without knowing about all of them, and coming up with activities they can do together that will be equally fun and challenging for both of them! And I still love that it was Akechi showing Saiki what a fun low-stakes game can be like that basically repaired Kusuo's relationship with his brother (see: manga, as this was cut from the anime 😩).

It's a very nice and straightforward ship that still leaves a lot of room for fun stories. I've been dying to write a Saikechi frogboil (plotted but needs writing) just because Akechi would be so perfect at it and he would be very likely to approach Saiki that way to get around all the tsundere bullshit lol.

OKAY, now for the third leg of the triangle lol, Aiura and Akechi!!

(couldn't find an anime gif of this moment which is SO SAD)

Let's be real, Akechi and Aiura only share 5 moments on screen: the intro with all the chibis, when Aiura checks out his aura, when Aiura & Toritsuka kidnap him, the competition to find Saiki's hanky, and Akechi pestering Aiura about dress code violations in the every-character-appears episode. And 3 of those scenes are from the same chapter lmao.

Actually I think this ⬆️ scene is kinda cute because Akechi's teasing Aiura lol, I think he's being friendly in his little freak way <3

HOWEVER, if shipping was only about what we saw on screen, then it would be way more boring. So let's think about it!

Aiura and Akechi actually share a lot of similarities: they're both extroverts, they're both incomprehensible, they are both almost immune to lies, they have both have a drive to help other people including strangers, and they're both seeking someone who will love and understand them as they are.

They would just make a really great fit! Akechi could help with Aiura's fortune-telling by prompting better questions for her to ask, and Aiura might actually make Akechi's mystery-solving TOO easy, so she probably holds back on that one lol. Akechi would throw himself wholeheartedly into working against a death mark on a stranger.

They're so fun to think about too because neither of them is embarrassed easily at all and they're both completely in touch with their own feelings so they are going to be SO lovey-dovey, no matter how cringe it seems on the outside lmao.

Akechi seems like he'd love doing traditional courtship if given half the chance, and Aiura seems like she's mostly had one-night-stand kind of situations until now, so what a perfect opportunity to indulge! What a change for Aiura to date someone who respects her and isn't just after her body! What a change for Akechi to date someone who actually wants to hear what he has to say and isn't put off by his frankness around taboo topics!

They'd pick up phrases from each other and develop so many ridiculous in-jokes that become their own sort of language, which makes them both even more incomprehensible.

We do also run into the allosexual x asexual problem here but Akechi is so unbothered by bodily functions and so quick to find compromises and enrichment that I genuinely think he'd kind of turn that into a game lmao.

And I think Akechi would be down to start a family and give his kid(s) the kind of loving home he never really got to enjoy with his parents' ongoing domestic turmoil. And their kid(s) would be sooooooooo incomprehensible, bless. 🙏🏾 Raised by 1.5 psychic parents and sprinkling both terminally online lingo and academia-level terminology into their speech from day 1. Imagine...

So Aikechi definitely gets the A+ on making sense and being compelling here!

Which FINALLY brings us back around to the main question... Does Aiura x Saiki x Akechi make sense, and is it compelling?

Well, obviously I think so, since I've posted so much about it lol.

I think the main question for the viability of this ship is whether Saiki would be comfortable with polyamory, since Aiura and Akechi are unconcerned enough with social norms that they'd probably have no problem with it.

After some time getting used to the thought that he will never have the veneer of normal he's always wanted to project and that the pleasures of living authentically far outweigh the pains of being different, I think Saiki would actually love having his best friends as lovers and not having to choose only one person.

After all, most of his struggle is about lack of connection and his alienation from humanity. Well, here are Akechi and Aiura, who respectively mirror his lonely childhood and growing up with uncontrollable powers. They're both clever enough to see through his tsundere bullshit, they're both happy and able to help him with his powers & duties to save others, and they will both stand up to him if he's wrong or letting something slide to avoid conflict.

They're both perfect for him! And Akechi and Aiura would be much happier sharing him than trying to make him choose between them since they also get along so well. And let's be real, Saiki definitely deserves to be loved by the two people who know him the best. 💜

There's also a lot of story potential for how this ends up happening. In Extra Love Stories of Psychics, Saikechi and Saiura are basically happening in parallel and the Aikechi will close in the loop in a few chapters. But in Didn't see this one coming, I wanted to focus on Aikechi, so they get together and are basically ready for Saiki to finish his character growth and join whenever lmao.

You could also have them as like a hero team of lovers if you want more action-y plots, though tbh it's really hard to come up with situations they wouldn't immediately solve lol rip.

Another nice thing about Aiura, Akechi and Saiki being together is that Aiura and Akechi get a chance to help each other overcome some of Saiki's limitations, and the stuff they can't work around, Akechi and Aiura can do together.

An easy example is hand-holding. Changing Saiki's gloves to another texture is all well and good but sometimes you want to touch skin to skin, and it's much more overwhelming than calming for Saiki to do that. Akechi and Aiura can hold each other's hands without gloves though, and while it's not the same as holding Saiki's, it helps a lot to fulfill that desire.

Also, it's almost impossible for Aiura to surprise Saiki because he can read her thoughts, but while Akechi can probably figure out that she's planning something in general, she would have a much easier time surprising him. And similarly, since Saiki can't properly read Akechi's mind and doesn't have too much emotional intelligence, Akechi has to openly communicate his needs with Saiki all the time, which isn't a problem for him. But it's really nice when Aiura can tell from his aura or from her own emotional intelligence what Akechi wants/needs without having to explain himself. And even if Saiki can literally hear Aiura's thoughts, Akechi is still better at responding to her feelings because he's not tsundere and he actually understands feelings and what to do about them.

Additionally, Aiura has said she wants to be a mother, and while Saiki's affection for kids indicates to me that he wouldn't mind having kids, I think that he would be VERY opposed to passing on his genes due to how much trouble his powers have caused him. And Aiura's genes also are probably loaded with psychic powers! But if Akechi is there, then he can knock up Aiura no problem since he doesn't seem to have any psychic powers, and then the three of them can have their own family <3 Plus all the shenanigans that comes with having 2.5 psychics (and maybe more!) under one roof!

In conclusion, they're perfect, your honor!!

Also I probably should've been writing more fic of them instead of writing this novel XD XD

Thanks for the ask!!

[justcantquinn]

"lesbian isn't non-men attracted to non-men, it's women attracted to women"

saw this take earlier. of all the gatekeeping bullshit...

okay, let's play a super quick game:

you're a lesbian. you watch a movie starring janelle monae. you fall in love with her. she's so beautiful, so talented. you're attracted to her physically and attracted to her personality.

then you find out janelle monae is non-binary.

uh oh! are you no longer a lesbian?

"well, once i found out she isn't a woman, i would no longer be attracted to her!"

really? are you sure?

"it's about her gender. i might find her attractive in other ways, but i wouldn't find her attractive overall because of her gender."

really?

okay, well, let's say you find her physically attractive still but aren't attracted overall because of her gender. fair enough, right?

then are women who are physically attracted to men but don't romantically or sexually pursue men still lesbians? a little bit of chest hair action gets 'em hot and heavy, but they'd never pursue that.

no? yes? why does this standard apply to non-binary people but not men?

if "yes," let's also assume a woman HAS slept with men in the past. or dated them! and still finds them physically attractive, but just not attractive overall because of their gender. is she a lesbian?

are you really going to sit here and tell me that if a lesbian woman had a partner for ten or twenty years who suddenly started using she/they pronouns that she's no longer a lesbian, even if she and her partner still use that label for themselves?

can the partner still call themselves a lesbian? would you dare to challenge them on that? really?

if no, if the partner can still call themselves a lesbian in this scenario, then what's the difference between this non-binary person calling themselves a lesbian and any other non-binary person calling themselves a lesbian? is it because this other non-binary person is amab and presents masc? hmm? what if they were afab and presented masc? what if they were afab, presented masc, and were on hrt? what if they were amab, presented masc, but were on feminizing hrt? it kinda feels like maybe you don't ACTUALLY think non-binary people are actually non-binary...

disallowing women attracted to non-binary people from calling themselves lesbian is a slippery slope that ends in transphobia, sex essentialism, and the erasing on non-binary identities.

disallowing non-binary people from calling themselves lesbian is the same slippery slope.

"that's because non-binary people aren't real! being trans is fake! etc."

firstly, ew. secondly...

you're a lesbian. you see a woman across the bar. she's gorgeous. drop dead. you take her home. you spend the night together. you begin seeing each other.

you find out a few weeks later that she's trans. post surgery, post hrt.

are you no longer a lesbian for being sexually attracted to her? are you no longer a lesbian for being emotionally attracted to her?

you meet a woman. she's with her husband. big, burly, bearded dude. absolute hunk of a man.

she calls herself a lesbian.

'what? huh? no you're not. you're married to a man.'

'yeah, but he's a TRANS man. so. yk.'

is she a lesbian? the only other people she's ever slept with have been women.

stop trying to over-define the term. stop trying to box people in. if people want to identify with the community, let them. seriously. just let them. we'll deal with the people using the label in bad faith as they come up.

"but i want a place to feel safe! i want a place full of people who are going to identify with me and relate to me! i want a community of people who face the same problems as i do!"

yeah. we all do. we do. all the people you're trying to keep out certainly do. but even if we do restrict membership to people who fit your criteria, they're not all gonna experience the same stuff as you. you're gonna run into gold star lesbians and lesbians who had only dated men prior to coming out. you're gonna meet asexual lesbians, demisexual lesbians, hypersexual lesbians. you're gonna meet drag kings and high femmes. you're gonna meet girls who pass as straight, maybe are even still in the closet, and girls who came out of the closet at five and are so butch they pass as a guy without even trying. you're gonna meet lesbians with so much trauma around being queer they can barely make it through the day and lesbians who had the good fortune to barely, if ever, face any oppression. there's always gonna be people in our community whose experiences feel alien to you. there's always gonna be people who you don't share much common ground with at all. there's always gonna be people who don't fit in with your idea of the culture. there's always gonna be people who make you feel uncomfortable, unsafe.

the queer community is not invite only. our labels don't and can't have rigid definitions. gender is a spectrum and where we lie on that spectrum may change. sexuality is a spectrum and where we lie on that spectrum may change. we're always going to be in motion, even if you don't want to be. even if that idea scares you.

you do have a community. you do have safe people and safe spaces. there are people who get you. just relax. you're going to be okay.

[layzeal]

What are some of the things that are ace codesd abt wwx? I don’t hear much abt and and am curious!

HIII, okay so as always, "coded" isn't really the right word since it implies authorial intent, but i often use it anyway bc who cares it's my blog. just know i don't think wwx is actually canonically supposed to be demi, it's just a headcanon from silly ol' me!

i do have a #demi-wwx tag you can check if u'd like too hehe

now, what makes wwx come off as SO incredibly acespec/demisexual for me is his approach to... well, relationships in his first life. he's a flirt! he likes teasing people! he likes watching them blush! he likes getting a reaction! but as lwj questions him in the xuanwu cave about, it all seems like very much a game to him, something he does without actual intention, unaware of the torment he might be putting others (lwj) through

i often see people say that wwx didn't date or that wangxian didnt get together in his first life because "they had other things going on" and "there was no time", but that's not only innacurate to post-sunshot, it genuinely comes off to me as if wwx simply has no romantic or sexual interest in anyone at all. granted, he has an eye for pretty things and people, and is VERY vocal about whenever he finds others beautiful. lwj is a common target, but far from the only one!

basically, for as loud as flirty as he can be, we know that's never really genuine. there's no second-intentions or desire in his words (hell, he had even been saving first first kiss for twenty years!!), even when it comes to lwj. and the way we know it is by comparing it all to how he acts, thinks and feels after he's ACTUALLY experiencing attraction for the first time!

but what does have to do with him being demi? and what makes, in my mind, wwx so much more demi coded than lwj for example, whose entire romantic arc is only falling in love with one person?

well, that would be that despite the way it's been romanticized, demisexuality has nothing to do with "only falling in love once". devotion isn't acespec exclusive, choosing to love a single person in your life isn't acespec exclusive. demisexuality is simply a term to describe the specific conditions a relationship might need for an asexual person to experience attraction. those conditions? a strong emotional bond (which is why so many demi ppl are described as "only being able to fall in love with your best friend")

and to me, that's what sells wwx as demisexual the most. he's had so many friends, classmates, xiongdi, and all sorts of companions in his life, but none of them were particularly... emotionally fulfilling. other than perhaps shijie, who he saw more like a mother and sister, there was no one else who he could truly lean on and trust, open up, and be vulnerable with. for many people, that's not a barrier that gets in the way of developing romantic or sexual interest in someone at all, and that's great!! (we see it with lwj himself, who spent so many of his teenage years frustrated for liking wwx and had to slowly realize why that wasn't shameful or a bad thing. lwj's attraction not only came before there was any significant bond between them, it directly blocked it from forming earlier due to lwj's constant avoidance of wwx!)

but for demi people, and for wei wuxian, it is a barrier. it's almost comical just how fast and deeply wwx fell in love with lwj once he opened up to him. it is the most visible in wwx's second life, but i do find there are inklings here and there to it in his first, especially after wwx and lwj get to spend some pleasant time together (ie. post-phoenix mountain and post-yiling date with a-yuan)

but it really does become the most obvious after the yi city arc (drunkji 2 my belovedddd). by that point, their friendship and closeness was already solid, and wwx is already crushing HARD, but isn't quite aware of it yet. it isn't until post-jinlitai stab (and his flashback to his and lwj's youth, how they fell apart and how lwj was only ever worried for him) that he starts pondering if these feelings might be... more than just fondness. and boy do i eat it UUUUUP

it wasn't until wei wuxian got that reassurance of trust and closeness that his feelings truly started to develop. i genuinely cannot imagine a wei wuxian who falls in love with someone who he genuinely believes hates him, and it's actually something i believe stopped wwx from developing deep feelings for lwj in his first life. we know how much all his rejections and their disagreements hurt wwx, and in the back of his mind, he always thought lwj disapproved of him, maybe even disliked him. there was no trust, and it smothered any small, warm little inkling of romantic love from sparking into a flame

so when wwx finds himself with a lwj who is indulgent, who wants to be close, who protects him, comforts him, listens to him, and won't ever let him fall... well, you can't blame him for daydreaming about a calm farm life by his side, or being embarrassed for acting so shameless while still pretending to be mxy, or wishing from the bottom of his heart that even if lwj doesn't love him back, he'll still stay next to him

he only ever wanted lwj to be his friend, and now he's the closest and most intimate one he's ever had. and he treats him so well... all the barriers have fallen, how could wei wuxian not fall too?

(and i didnt rly get into it but this all applies to physical attraction as well! wwx behaves and sees lwj's beauty through two different lenses in his first and second life, and wwx himself noticed the difference from when he could see lwj's nakedness back then without batting an eye VS now. it's hilarious, endearing, and EXTREMELY relatable!!)

[basicallyahedgehog]

Happy Asexual Awareness Week!

Whether you are asexual, demisexual, grey-sexual, aromantic, demiromactic, aroace, sex-favourable, sex-repulsed or anything in between, you are valid and you are loved.

Whether you know you are ace, are questioning or are looking to be a good ally, asexuality.org is an amazing resource. You can find out more about asexuality awareness week specifically here.

For me personally, fandom and fic had such a huge influence on my journey to identifying as ace. So I've rounded up a few of my faves:

Let Me Count The Ways by @thebooktopus: Intimacy comes in many forms. Draco wants to explore them all with Harry.

Not Broken by Undercoverwarlock: Draco wanted this. Right? He had daydreamed about it, imagined what it would be like, wanted it. Right?

The Art of (Not) Being Broken by OTPshipper98: Draco reads an article that explains a few things. And so he shares it with Harry.

Glowing by @cavendishbutterfly: Harry's lived alone and vampiric in his cottage for ages, until a long-lived Draco Malfoy suddenly shows up to answer an advertisement Harry had practically forgotten he'd put in the Prophet. Cue soft blood drinking, quiet nights of reading and crocheting, and Harry thinking that maybe--just maybe--he might not be so alone anymore.

Like A Dream I Can Reach (But Not Quite Hold) by Cassiara: Harry spends his life waiting for something he isn’t entirely sure he wants, and looking for something he doesn’t know exists. Everything feels ill-fitting until Draco Malfoy enters his life and shows Harry he doesn’t have to want the expected things, and Harry learns happiness doesn't have to look a certain way.

Which Merely That Is by bafflinghaze: In which Harry notices changes in Draco (he’s a late bloomer, apparently), but that’s not nearly as important as the time they spend together.

How To Read A Map by Bumble_Beckie: Harry's never been able to read a map. Then he met Draco. or Harry's still working out his sexuality and then Draco comes along and fucks it all up.

There's A Word For This by Undercoverwarlock: Harry wants to show Draco how much he cares for him, but it's not that easy...AKA the one where Draco doesn't understand, Hermione goes to the library, and Harry realises something about himself.

Lightning Never Strikes Twice by DrWhoIsGinnyHolmes: Draco's soul mark finally appeared, but he isn't quite sure what to do since it's tied to the career bachelor, 'Best Lay in the UK,' Harry pain-in-his-arse Potter. Especially when he isn't even interested in sex...

You Make Me Smile by Dazeventura6: Years after the war Harry's quiet, reclusive life is disrupted when Draco Malfoy barges into it. Will it be a disaster or will both men manage to finally find happiness in each other?

What She Said by @demonbanisher: The Marauders secret language is dirty jokes, but nothing has to change now that Remus has realized he's ace. Right?

the space between (what you want and what you need) by disapparater: As a specialist Healer in dark magic, Draco has had his fair share of difficult cases and awkward patients. Still, nothing has prepared him for a curse-paralysed Harry Potter.

Your Embrace Is Enough by bickymonster: Harry has noticed he isn't the only one who doesn't appreciate the family's attempts to get him to date.

If Three's A Crowd, The Crowd Me by SumthinClever: Draco is asexual and fears Blaise will leave him due to his inability to fulfill his needs, and so suggests they open their relationship for Blaise to find partners willing to fulfill him. Draco fears Blaise will fall in love with someone else and still leave him, but neither of them figured it would be Draco that found someone else to love, too.

That's Ace by Leontina: Charlie is asexual. Harry isn't. They still find a way to satisfy both of their needs, however

No Kissing by @asexual-lovegood: Draco doesn't like kissing. Hermione doesn't understand. Harry intervenes.

Capture the Moment (Capture My Heart) by dot_the_writer: Surrounded by photographs with just a cat to keep him company, Draco was left questioning his identity and what a new label would mean for his relationship with Harry.

the trembling of the moment by @blue--dreaming with incredible art by @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm: “You’re the last person I’d have expected to stumble across on the other side of the world.” In which Draco's quiet single-parent life is not so much interrupted as unexpectedly harmonised.

Midnight Radio by EverythingButColdFire: Sirius is an actor in his late twenties. Enter Remus: the wardrobe supervisor and dresser for his new show. No knowledge of Hedwig and the Angry Inch is required for this to make sense.

Little Deaths and How To Avoid Them (Or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by Nerakrose: Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry. Features: Little League Quidditch, an abundance of bath bombs, happy endings, and gay robots in space.

[ae-azile]

In your latest Progression chapter I loved how Namphueng did the cake announcing her sexual identity. It was such great idea and now I wonder what other characters would make as the same cake? What are others sexualities/sexual identities? Do they identify somehow other than gay? Kinn and Chay are gays but what about others? Is Porsche bi or pan? What about Tankhun and Arm? Also Kim expressed somehow being genderfluid and he is definitely demisexual or grey asexual. I think it would be extremely interesting for all of them to have some kind of discussion like that.

Namphueng loved her cake too LOL. She was very proud of it. I spent a while thinking of how the cake would look. While I couldn't find a cake that described what I wanted her to do, I did look up some reference pics for inspiration. Here are several that kind of fit some aspects of the style!

If you mix the aspects of these cakes all together, you sort of get what Namphueng accomplished. Girl worked HARD. It was so important to her because:

1. She remembers her first love, or at least bits and pieces. She remembers loving her deeply. I think creating a cake so elaborate and more suited for a small wedding was her way of committing to her true self, along with finding the woman she loved and clearly still loves.

2. She may have struggled with being her true self or being open about her relationship first time around. She isn't doing it anymore because every bit of her autonomy and happiness was kept from her.

So, yes! In Progression, Namphueng very much identifies as a lesbian. As for the other characters, some are probably up for interpretation, but I guess this is how I view them (at least for this fic).

Kim: I also see him as demisexual or sex positive ace. I think he is enjoying sex with Chay. A LOT. But he can only come to enjoy sex if he is in love with and feels comfortable with the person he is sleeping with. Since he struggles with being so guarded, Chay is his first. I think his romantic orientation is likely panromantic, but his trauma and seeing so many people in his family get hurt/killed likely made him push the idea of romance away for a long time.

As for the potential for him being gender fluid, I don't think it is something he feels like he needs to find a label for, but wouldn't deny it if asked. I think he does certain things and presents himself in a way that feels right. He likely leans towards more masculine presentations, but likes light makeup on occasion, doesn't align with overt masculinity or societal expectations for men, etc. I think he also likes looking good for himself, and sometimes looking softer and slightly more feminine is something that appeals to him.

Overall, I believe he struggles with labels for multiple reasons. He doesn't like following traditional or strict expectations, nor is he great at communicating clearly (although he is getting a lot better). I think he also falls into this limbo in between labels, so he doesn't know what to make of it. He struggles with seeing himself as asexual (especially now) since he is having a very enjoyable sex life with Chay. He should probably should look into demisexual. I think it will be something that eventually comes up, even though he doesn't feel a NEED to find a label. However, an explanation and a sense of knowing he isn't the only one may help. 🙂

Porsche: I think he is probably pan, but could also be bi. Episode 8 showed him express minor anxiety over dating a guy, although I don't know if it was the emotional or physical aspect that worried him more. Regardless, I tend to categorize him a little more as pan since that tends to take a meaning of "experiences sexual attraction regardless of gender". However, I also see him as demiromantic.

Khun: Despite his and Kim's personalities being extremely different, I also see him as demisexual, panromantic. Part of his demisexuality likely stems from immense trauma since he needs to be with someone who understands him and he's comfortable with, but I don't think the gender of that person matters. In fics, I often mention him having a girlfriend prior to his kidnapping. I believe I did in this fic too. Now, he's very much in love with Arm. And like Kim, he also might be gender fluid, but doesn't over think it and just does what feels right.

Arm: He's a hard one, but he could be demisexual too, and he may lean towards homoromantic. That isn't to say he doesn't like to be seductive though. He takes his shirt off when drunk for a reason. However, I do think he was repressing a lot of desires until he became more comfortable with Khun. So yeah, maybe demisexual/homoromantic.

Pol: He says he's straight! But I also think he is a guy who needs and deserves a lot of love. I don't see him hooking up with just any woman or being in a FWB situation. He is probably heteroromantic, but does find a lot of satisfaction in platonic love too.

Vegas: gay, but demiromantic.

Pete: demisexual, biromantic

Macau: He's saying he's straight in this fic, but I don't see him sleeping around like his brother likely used to.

Kinn and Chay : gay and gay

Milan's sexual and romantic orientation will also become more clear in flashbacks as well.

Thank you for the ask! 🩵

[ao3feed-jonmartin]

A Label Does Not A Person Make

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/fz9TlLm by Rauchendes_GNU Jon realises, a bit late perhaps, that this is what the conversation between him and Georgie was all the years back at university. He remembers a lot of frustration, remembers trying to convey that no, he wasn’t sexually attracted to her, but yes, he’d like to explore a more sex-favourable angle, so to speak. Jon closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk to Martin about this? You can come over after work, if you like. I’m sure he’ll be happy to help.” He opens his eyes to look at Tim, who seems strangely vulnerable in a way he’s rarely seen him before. “You don’t have to, of course. Just—just an offer to talk to someone who is very good at deciphering emotions.” After a second of quiet, he adds, “And he’s good at keeping a secret, too.” --- Tim thought he had himself all figured out. But that was before Sasha asked him to pretend to be his boyfriend. Words: 3130, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M, M/M Characters: Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood, Sasha James Relationships: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood & Tim Stoker, Sasha James & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James/Tim Stoker Additional Tags: Happy Ending, background fake dating, Asexual Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Fluff, Demisexual Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Established Teaholding, Alternate Universe - no fear entities, Theyre still working at the institute tho, Aromantic Tim Stoker, demiromantic tim stoker, Married Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, yes i can write fluff, occasionally, figuring out yourself, Sort Of, Kind of like a coming out but not really, Embracing the fact that sometimes labels only get you so far, Getting Together, there's a cat too, Ao3 chose violence and is destroying the order of my tags, please forgive me for this mess i didnt mean for it to happen and i am powerless, The fic is still pretty fun tho i promise read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/fz9TlLm

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi cas!! How are you?

I have been wondering something about myself for a lot of time, like since back then when all the asks on your blog were about sexuality and genders and i have been wanting to ask you this since then bc I don't know with who else i could talk about this, and you're always so heplful.

Is it possible that someone who would like to date and fall in love to be aromantic? Because I've never liked a boy in my life or at least I haven't realised it except for like one time that I had a "crush" on this boy that i had met like two times and then he left and after like four days I stopped liking him. But I don't know if i did like him or if it was just that i liked the conversations we were having or the fact that he was giving me his full attention when he was talking to seven other people. But I'm always socially awkward and I usually don't talk to the 'new' people when I'm in a large group with people I'm comfortable with so it took me by surprise that I could talk to him that easily and i didn't even feel awkward or uncomfortable. And maybe my feelings could have been developed to a crush if we had more time together, but we hung out only two times and then he had to go back to his hometown. I don't know if I'm making a lot of sense with the whole story...

Anyway, so I don't want to be aromantic, not bc i have a problem with people of this sexuality, i just really want to date someone and find someone that i love and they love me so much and actually grow old together. But I'm turning seventeen in august and isn't it a little weird that i haven't felt attracted to someone until now?

But then i think that since i want a romantic relationship, then I can't be aromantic, right?

And i had a talk with one of my friends that I really trust and she used the facts that i probably liked that boy and that i do want to have a relationship as arguments as to why I'm probably not aromantic and she said that maybe I haven't felt that way about any boy because we live in a small area and believe me, it's really rare to have an actual relationship with the local boys rather than a situationship and because i have a very specific type when most boys are the same here.

I really don't know why I'm sending this. Like i don't know how you could help me when I don't know how i feel but maybe you know something that i don't?

Anyway I'm sorry for your time and it's okay if you can't answer or you don't have the time

Also I'm really thankful that you help everyone that comes here to tell you a problem of theirs and you make them feel better. People like you actually matter to the world and they make it a better place <3

I'm sending lots of love and i hope you have a nice day!!

Hi! <3

Okay so...first, do you know the difference between aromantic and asexual? Meaning do you want romance, but you feel little to no actual attraction? because if so, you could be asexual. Remember that sexual and romantic attraction are different- some people experience both, one, or neither.

Adding on to that, there are demiromantic and demisexual people. Meaning they usually have to form a connection with someone before feeling that connection. I'm demisexual, and I have to get to know people before I even think about actual intimacy with them.

Maybe these terms will help you with your confusion?

Let me know what you think! Naming you guava anon!

[vaamiel]

Wait okay I'm not done with my Eddie thoughts

As an asexual/demisexual person, I gotta say this whole, triangulation/fixation on one's first love? SO on brand for Eddie.

Lots of speculation ahead, but I relate to so many of the elements of Eddie's storyline so much, I had to get this down:

Once upon a time, I literally had panic attacks when trying to date years after my First Real Love I broke up. Heart palpitations, the whole thing. It fucking sucked and tbh made me quit dating.

Now, though I never cheated, I can absolutely see that being a possible path for someone who experiences that sort of attraction and then combines it with PTSD.

Not that I'm using either as an excuse, but rather, I understand how, particularly if Eddie is a part of a sexuality that's based on deep emotional connection or even no sexual attraction at all, how he would justify his behavior in his own brain.

To Eddie, Marisol and even Ana don't /really/ count as True Loves - they're just women he went on dates with and maybe had some degree of connection, but more like, in a friend-he-had-sex-with way. It's not, and never will be, the same as with Shannon.

That's not even to say his relationship with Shannon is perfect or even good or based on mutual attraction, but rather when you're asexual, it's easy to idealize relationships you're in when they're bolstered by outside forces (in Eddie's case a child, but also circumstance/close quarters, even shared interests can forge this false connection).

This creates... Almost like a false narrative to look back on. You want to reflect on the things you think were perfect, and then try to connect those to future partners and their behavior. Problem with that is, there's usually this fog that sits over those 'perfect' relationships in your brain, corrupting the source of all your nostalgic emotions, so you're perpetually assigning potential new partners poorly put together science.

All of this makes it so difficult to work around your relationship history and build new, strong connections.

Compound that with PTSD from SO many sources, and you have a mess of a human barely capable of forming platonic connections, let alone romantic ones.

Seeing Shannon certainly, obviously triggered something in Eddie, and I think it's important to embrace this storyline head on so that Eddie can either come to terms with his sexuality or even just move on from always looking for Shannon in the crowd.

I'm for sure projecting a lot of my own sexuality on this, but I really do feel that, with the things we've seen about Eddie so far, this could easily connect the dots on the issues he's having with relationships in general.

[samael-your-guardian-angel]

((Information about Samael!))

Name: Samael

Nicknames/Aliases: Planter of the Tree of Knowledge, Guardian Angel, Sam, Sammy J Gardener

Age/Date of Birth/Place of Birth: Older than time/Before time began/Heaven

Species: Angel

Gender/Pronouns: Technically agender, fine with corporation being seen as “male”, he/him

Sexuality: Technically asexual, sex-positive (in a demisexual sort of way) (Momo only!)

Appearance: Samael looks much like Crowley does; tall, lean, with red hair. He’s had just as many weird (meaning period-accurate) hairstyles as Crowley, but he prefers it long. In modern times, he often wears it up in a bun. Has normal, brown eyes, but enjoys novelty sunglasses that would make Crowley cringe. Loves wearing graphic tees with puns on them (example: a cartoon haloed avocado with the caption “Holy guacamole!”). Usually in street fashion in angelic colours of whites, creams, and tans. Just as concerned with coming off as “cool” as Crowley, but has a wildly different aesthetic.

Personality/History: A fast-living angel. A ray of sunshine, usually cheerful. Loves to people-watch. Great with kids. Easily distracted. Occasionally plagued with frustration (“why can’t people just be nice to each other?!”) Collects plants to the point where his flat is overrun with flowers, herbs and houseplants in pots, and he barely has room to sit down. (Refuses to sit in a chair properly anyway.) Has a bleeding heart for plants that need extra care, and is well known at all the local plant nurseries. All his ceilings are covered with stick-on stars, model solar systems, sky charts, and the like; some of which are hand-made. Drives a white Rolls Royce that refuses to play anything but ABBA, of its own free will. His timeline diverged from Crowley’s (EEAAO-style) because he did not suggest making a suggestion box, and thus did not end up at the Bad Kids table with Lucifer and the guys, and thus did not Fall.

His first assignment on Earth was helping put together the Garden of Eden (not as fun as making nebulae). There was supposed to be a DO NOT TOUCH sign on the tree, but he forgot about it. Got written up for that one. Hung around to watch the humans, was very dismayed to hear about the humans getting kicked out and felt a bit guilty for that. The Serpent, Asmodeus (wait, was he that one angel? THAT GUY FELL???), assured Samael that it wasn’t his fault and he was sure Samael was only doing his best. To hear such compassionate words from a demon (and he’s a demon- how- why- what-?) was fascinating to Samael, and he kind of, sort of, maybe, developed a bit of a crush- okay, he fell in love instantly whatever it’s not a big deal-

Got bored early on Earth, did some weird edgy LARPing to entertain himself, now has an Unfortunate Reputation in religious texts. Asmodeus teases him about it so much, which he finds so embarrassing (“Why does everyone think I’m literally Satan, I’m not, I’m not evil, I don’t go around seducing humans, stop laughing at me it’s not funny-”)

Kept showing up around Asmodeus like a very determined, lost puppy, until Asmodeus admitted that, alright, they were friends, maybe, don’t go spreading it around.

~

[dcwnthercbbithcle]

SEX, GENDER, & LOVE HEADCANONS FOR QUEER & KINKY MUSES

** this is for lgbtqia+ muses if your muse is cishet this isn’t the dash game for you it was created by a queer mun for queer muses

♡ GENDER IDENTITY :  cisgender female* / cisgender male / intersex / gender-nonconforming / transmasc / transfemme / trans man / trans woman / nonbinary / gender-fluid / genderqueer / agender / demi-girl / demi-boy / bigender / pangender / omnigender / two-spirit

♡ SEXUALITY :  queer / gay / lesbian / bisexual / pansexual / omnisexual / asexual / androsexual / demisexual / fluid / non-labelled* / graysexual

♡ DATING PREFERENCES : monogamous / ethically nonmonogamous / monogamish* / relationship anarchy / open relationships / polyamorous / doesn’t date / dates casually

* Doe chooses to keep her sexuality, orientation, and other personal details private for her safety and security, given the circumstances she has faced. She has no shame in who she is, who she is attracted to, or how she expresses her identity. This decision is not about shame, but about survival.

♡ ATTACHMENT STYLE : secure / anxious preoccupied / dismissive avoidant / fearful-avoidant / disorganised

♡ SEXUAL INCLINATIONS : sex favourable / sex adverse / sex indifferent / hypersexual / sex-repulsed / bottom / top / versatile / vers bottom* / vers top / service top / power bottom / stone top / pillow princess / submissive / dominant / switch / masochist / brat / sadist / brat tamer / soft dom* / pleasure dom / caregiver*

* Doe prefers being penetrated over being the penetrator because it allows her to feel more comfortable and secure, as there is less room for her paranoia and anxiety to manifest. Since Doe does not have the necessary anatomy to penetrate, she relies on using toys made of silicone and plastic. However, she misses the intimate connection and ability to sense if something feels off that comes with flesh-to-flesh contact. In these situations, Doe depends on reassurance from her partner to ensure a positive experience, their words, face, body language. It's a lot and on some level she feels she is pushing the responsibility of all that feedback onto her partner, bothering them incessantly throughout the act and never letting them ride undisturbed because of her NEED to know things are fine and they feel good, and between the guilt of that burden to bear. And the weight of mustering the trust of opening up and leveling that she doesn't know, she's no sex god despite how positively she feels about the act, she's scared, she's trying her best, and she wants them to feel good. However, she is still terrified, and the whole situation is two steps away from being just a stress exercise rather than a pleasurable one. It's a lot to handle and unless she trusts a partner wholly, penetrating is unfortunately not on the table.

♡ LOVE LANGUAGES : words of affirmation / quality time / acts of service / receiving gifts / physical touch*

* In some circumstances, physical touch can be a sensitive subject for Doe because of her varying discomfort levels with human contact. She faces challenges due to the physical and phantom pains from her death, as well as her frequent hyper-vigilant anxiety and agitation. However, it is important to understand that this does not mean she is rejecting her partners, friends, or loved ones. Doe simply needs active consent and patience with touch, as she is quite affectionate when the circumstances are right.

♡ PHYSICAL ACTS OF INTIMACY :  holding hands / kissing / cuddling / massages / bathing together / washing partner’s hair / skin on skin contact / forehead kisses / playing under the table (e.g. hand on thigh, footsy etc) / playing with partner’s hair / playful tickling / seeking them out in bed to hold / eye contact / reading to your partner / being read to / napping together / couch cuddles while doing separate activities (head in lap etc)

♡ KINKS & TURN ON’S : dirty talk / quiet in bed / loud in bed / having hands pinned / pinning partners hands / having hair pulled / cumplay / pulling partner's hair / being watched / watching their partner / voyeurism / receiving oral sex / giving oral sex / receiving penetration / giving penetration / praise kink / biting / marking up your partner / being marked up / impact play / edge play / teasing / being teased / using toys on partner / having toys used on them / choking / being choked / being restrained* / restraining their partner / shibari / breeding kink / orgasm control / piss kink / worshipping their partner / being worshipped / humiliating / being humiliated / degrading / being degraded / pegging / being pegged / frotting / face sitting / dom/sub dynamics / DDLG dynamics / aftercare / anal / bdsm / light bondage* / outdoor sex / sensory deprivation / roleplay / rough sex / threesomes / wax play / sensory play (eg. pinwheels etc) / knife play / gunplay / blood play / caging / cbt / sounding / collars / exhibitionism / rimming / pet play / primal play / dressing up for partner / partner dressing up for them / daddy kink / mommy kink / master/slave dymanics