justcantquinn

[justcantquinn]

GLaDOS: I spent some time researching common human insecurities so I might better insult you. I've discovered that physical insecurities often manifest due to feelings of envy stemming from comparing oneself to others.

GLaDOS: There are no other humans in this facility. Just you. Therefore, you lack a source of envy of which would trigger the feelings of insecurity in your tiny simple human brain.

GLaDOS: A shame, isn't it? I thought so too. Which is why I've taken it upon myself to artificially create a humanoid body for myself so that you'll have someone to envy. A female figure who is taller than you, more mature than you and has larger breasts than you. Gaze upon my new form of perfection and shrink away in your envy. You'll never achieve this level of perfectio- why are you smiling at me like that. Stop it.

[justcantquinn]

hearing ‘i missed you’ mid makeout could make me cum on the spot

[justcantquinn]

I wanna be nestled into someone and sleepily cuddling them so bad u don’t even know

[justcantquinn]

yanno, i love dropout. i love dirty laundry. i love grant o'brien. i fucking despise the fact that i, as a sober person, am constantly bombarded with videos about making cocktails. "oh, look! a youtube notification! wonder what that's about!" two back-to-back notifications about making cocktails. "oh! look! dropout reblogged something!" a dirty laundry video about making cocktails. "oh, look! a new community post on youtube!" it's about making cocktails.

i could go on. i won't. i'm able to put up with a certain amount of exposure to alcohol, so i haven't said anything up until now when it feels like i'm suddenly inundated with ad after ad about drinking. and i don't even follow any dirty laundry specific stuff! what gives? seriously?!?

How to make a cosmopolitan cocktail — Grant O’Brien style 🏳️‍🌈

Watch the extended cut for the full recipe!

[justcantquinn]

she stayed with me the past few days. she sleeps in the bed with me at night.

last night i asked myself, "would she reach out and touch me in her sleep if i allowed there to be space between us? if i removed those silly things that acted as barriers?"

yes. not how i hoped, but something is something.

it was four in the morning and i was on fire. i knew i wouldn't sleep. waking dreams plagued me, plagued me with sensations of touch. her pulling me closer. her lips cool my skin. her voice. "i love you." sensual and deep. not how she says it now. not as she means it.

it took me an hour. a bit more, actually. i finally found rest. yet still i am restless. even now, a hundred miles between us, i'm plagued. her voice over the phone. i'm plagued. she smiles from across the room. i'm plagued. just hearing her name.

i'm plagued.

i'm plagued.

please touch me, my beloved.

please love me as i love you.

[justcantquinn]

she commit acts of intercourse on my erogeneous zones until i achieve sexual climax

[justcantquinn]

i'm not a very hairy gal, which that's nice for things like shaving my legs which i (generally) don't need to do more than once a month if no one's going to be copping a feel (which no one ever is). BUT. there is one thing that annoys the hell out of me.

i have the saddest bush out there i swear to god.

some girls i see have these MASSIVE tufts of hair running from the front all the way back, and i have the scraggliest, scrawniest layer of thinned out nothing that i've ever seen the fizzles out before it goes anywhere. it's pitiful. and i know, i know, a lot of people go to great lengths to remove their pubic hair and it can be annoying and painful. BUT I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE OPTION!! 😭 yeah waxing is painful, but so is living with the knowledge that i will never have the 80s porno bush of my dreams 😞

[justcantquinn]

Weed Humor

[justcantquinn]

i've been on the internet a very long time and already heard all the discourse a million times so i'm honestly so tired of it. it is entirely possible that you, yes you, are the victim in an unhealthy age gap relationship. seriously. i don't care what hoops you have to jump through to make it make sense in your head. if you are, let's say, not yet in your thirties and your partner is in their fifties? guess what?!

you're a victim. full stop. break it off and go to therapy. don't even bother fighting with me because i will just block you. there is such a thing as a relationship with a big age gap that isn't unhealthy but, uh, yours isn't it. sorry not sorry. sort your shit out. i'm done putting up with it online and i'm done putting up with it in real life. i will suffer no more foolishness and i will not keep my mouth shut, either.

[justcantquinn]

hey you guys think there's any way to one-shot a new therapist? i'm thinking something along the lines of "yeah my best friend/first ever girlfriend/most recent and only ex-girlfriend/woman i'm still in love with who i met in intensive multi-day week group therapy after her dad and my stepdad both died around the same time, her dad dying suddenly from a heart attack and my stepdad dying after a three year battle with cancer, who broke up with her abusive ex about two weeks before starting to date me and who eventually ended our relationship over that abusive ex and still remains close friends with him in the same way she remains close friends with me and also she's an english teacher just like my both my mom and my dad told me that she sees me as such a close friend to her that she already knows i'm going to be in her wedding party some day. what's up with that, do you think?"

i was meaning to post this before i actually saw the new therapist this morning, but i forgot and anyway it's family therapy with my dad and the therapist first assumed we were a couple so that's nice. can someone please pick me up? i'm scared.

[justcantquinn]

i joke about having mommy issues but then something happens where it's like "oh i don't have haha sexy time mommy issues, i have, like, ***mommy issue*** mommy issues. deep-seated and severe psychological problems traceable back to an unhealthy and abusive relationship with my mother mommy issues. i see."

[justcantquinn]

it dawned on me the other day that i'm coming very close to the "ten years without doinking" milestone.

i really don't want to hit that milestone. i understand that i'm acespec and i have a lot >> stuff << with sex from my past, but i don't want to hit that milestone.

granted, "coming close" = "three years away", but that's a lot closer than most people.

[justcantquinn]

oh, you’re into free use? is it because it lets someone else take over the responsibility of deciding when you’ve contributed enough worth so you don’t have to worry about whether or not you’re giving enough because someone else will just take it from you as they see fit?

[justcantquinn]

saw a picture of a girl and she was ~gorgeous~ !instantly in love. her aesthetic, her vibe, everything. i must learn more about this girl! so i clicked on her profile.

i stg my mommy issues must run deeper than i imagined bc everything about this girl was stereotypical mom. her hobbies are baking and embroidery. her job is in early childhood childcare and education. she posts about her crockpot meals and how to fix her washer and dryer. also she just had a baby ig 🙄

i guess i should point out that she also, at some point, did resident evil cosplays, which doesn't really support my "stereotypical mom" point. on the other hand, one of those cosplays was lady d and lady d is mommy so ??? jfc somebody please date me already, i'm getting all "mommy 🥺" for random internet girls who are younger than me posting about macarons. this is not healthy.

[justcantquinn]

UH OH!! THAT'S A TOE SUCKING THOUGHT, BESTIE!! THAT'S FUCKING WEIRD DON'T LET THAT SHIT DEVELOP!!

[justcantquinn]

my ideal partner? i'm so glad you asked! yes, you did- wait, no, get back here! you little motherf-

so, my ideal partner (and relationship with that partner) looks like this:

tall - i am tall (very tall) and i'm just tired of faces in my shoulder blades or back when cuddling

strong - ooooo hehehehe strong lady (or enby) hehehehe

quiet around most people but energetic around people she likes - i love people like this so much

scary/intimidating to strangers - ideally, people should think "oh, she can and will beat me up if i do something wrong" but also wouldn't do that unless you hurt or threaten to hurt someone she loves or someone who can't defend themselves

likes all my stupid jokes - maybe not to the "busting up laughing" point for all of them, but at least a light chuckle and a groan that says "quinn! wtf are you talking about, your dumb ass"

likes how much i babble - i talk SOOOOO much all of the time. i never shut up. i will talk for multiple hours straight without trying. i hope she loves that.

lets me be my normal bossy self in the day-to-day (and finds my bossiness endearing) - i'm often so particular about how stuff gets done and i so often end up ordering people around or steamrolling others in the process of doing it. i will get genuinely upset if something is done what, to me, is the "wrong way" and have, in the past, undone something just to do it "right." most people put up with it because they like me as a person and/or because i'm pretty fucking great at shit that i do, but i'd rather she be on board than just tolerting it. have you ever actually met someone who regularly puts their hand up to stop people from talking so that they can talk instead? that's me. i do that. i hope she loves that.

let's me be my normal, nervous, whimpering puddle of myself in the bedroom - i will be whimpering and i will be making tiny little moans and i will not be able to make eye contact unless she makes me and i will need her to tell me exactly what to do and how to do it and do so in a soft, kind voice the whole time. i will need her to tell me how good i feel and taste and i will need her to ask me if i'm okay and if it feels good. i will call her mommy and i need her to call me baby girl and i will need her to tell me how pretty i am and how much she loves me. on days i'm particularly bossy, i will need her to take me into the bedroom and strip all that power away from me.

enjoys watching my tv shows with me even if she doesn't particularly like them

yanno, ideally.