#Another musician who can just take all of my money

[dnt-call-me-baby]

So this week I got to see Aesthetic Perfection for the American Psycho tour and there are truly no words to describe how great of an experience it was. I’m eternally grateful for Joe and Daniel taking time to talk with me and take some pictures. It truly was amazing, and if it came down to doing it all again? Between the show, the people I met in the venue, and the overall experience, I wouldn’t hesitate to do it all again if given the option.

My only regret being that the people I met and talked with- as I was so distracted before I left that I forgot to find out names or ways to keep in touch.

[gotham-daydreams]

i just had a thought

you know what would really fuck up the batfam in the "not tonight" series imagine the reader instead of leaving gets kidnnaped and when the batfam saves them reader breaks down into crying in relief because they genuenly believed the batfam would not bother to save them

Imagine the absolute horror the batman would feel

I know its a little farfetched but i live for the angst

No, no! I love that idea!!! And it isn't all that farfetched seeing as the reader is a well known musician on some level, and even if that wasn't the case- they're still the kid of Bruce Wayne. Which, honestly, is enough motivation for someone to kidnap them, I'd say. Especially if the reasoning is for money, revenge/jealousy, or both honestly.

Besides all that, though- oh my god that would be awful! I love it!

Because imagine things from the reader's perspective (which, there is implied violence inflicted on the reader, mentions a blood, and a gun is pointed towards them. So, if it isn't your cup of tea then that's fine!):

Your 'family' that barely acknowledges you enough as it is, and the only guy who ever seems to notice that you're around is the single butler that basically takes care of everyone and everything in the manor. Now, you're kidnapped because of your relation/connection to the family, and have no hope to do anything besides just pray.

Maybe you have tried to escape before a few times at this point, but the punishment for such attempts have now gotten to the point where if you try again and fail, you'd surely die. Maybe you've also been trying so hard to escape yourself because you're just that certain and sure that the Batfam won't save you. Since, up until this point, anything dealing with or connecting back to you in some way has been ignored or dismissed one way or another. Why would something like a kidnapping be any different? Especially when they also haven't noticed other events where you have gotten hurt before.

Right from the gate, you're already thinking that the Batfam won't save you. Not that they can't, but just like with everything else- something will come up and steal away their attention, and you'll be left by yourself, and to defend yourself as always. That's what always seems to happen, and so why would now be different? In your mind, it wouldn't. So that's why when your attempts to escape fail, and the punishments not only get worse, but begin to pile up and reach a point where you think you're going to die- the situation quickly becomes much scarier.

You don't hope that Batman will suddenly show up, and instead pray that your best friend will notice your missing somehow. You don't think that Nightwing, Red Robin, Spoiler, or Orphan will suddenly swoop in and save the day, but instead try and hope that your producer/boss notices that you haven't replied to his calls or texts and contacts someone. You don't even consider that Red Hood or Robin will come barreling in and quickly deal with your kidnappers before rescuing you — instead all of your thoughts are filled with silent whispers and desperate pleas that someone- anyone you know will notice that you're gone, or that something is wrong, and will contact somebody. With that 'somebody' being the police or anyone of help, but not the Batfam.

Maybe a small thought does slip by, but you can only internally laugh at yourself because you either think that you've already lost enough blood to actually try and believe that lie, or your just growing that desperate to have a little hope. To have something to cling onto in this moment, that you chose the one thing that you're so convinced will never be given to you. A thought that only further cements itself in your mind the more time passes. With hours turning into days, and days to weeks.

Perhaps that's why you try to escape again. Deciding that you had better odds of succeeding despite your injuries, than the Batfam ever coming to save you. Let alone even thinking about it, or even realizing that you were gone in the first place. Taking that risk of getting caught again, and potentially getting killed this time, because no matter how hopeless or unlikely it seems for you to escape and make it out- those chances will always be higher than any single person from the Batfam showing up, and even attempting to save you. Even on accident, or on a whim- that possibility is so unlikely in your mind, that it's basically nothing more than a made up scenario or daydream to you. It's not an 'if' or 'when', but a flat out 'won't'.

Maybe that's why when you fail you get so scared, but can't help but feel like this was inevitable somehow. Of course, you don't want to die- but you had tried your best. You fought until the very end, and it almost feels a little too fitting that things ended up this way. With your efforts ending in vain, and you having nothing to show for it. With your attempts futile, and almost seeming idiotic from an outsider's point of view, and maybe it was.

You never stood a chance. You were doomed for failure. Not even all the training and experience you had could save you- and only now could you see how truly worthless all your efforts had been. With a gun pointed to your head, and your own blood providing the only warmth you've felt in days.

There's an odd sense of comfort and familiarity in the chill that shoots down your spine, and the cold gaze that one of your kidnappers give you. They're carelessness and disregard for your health reminding you of something, with their rough attacks and harsh punches bringing back times where you really did need the Batfam, only for no one to show up. Your call dying down as fast as it had risen that day, and one you never even bothered to make again.

So maybe that was why you were so surprised when help arrived, and even more so when you saw who exactly it was.

Before you could even fully register anything, you began to cry. A wide smile full of disbelief grows on your face, and more tears begin to fall as the smallest of laughs escape you. 'Unbelievable' is the first word that comes to mind when describing what you felt, and thought when you saw Batman drop down from the ceiling and deal with the guy who was about to kill you, and heard some commotion just down the hall.

At first, your convinced it's all some silly dream, and that maybe during your final moments- your mind decided to give you something nice to send you off. Almost like a warm parting gift to distract you from the hopelessness, and reality of the situation. Though it's only when pain shoots through your entire body when you move a certain way, that the thought of all of this being some made up hallucination or delusion vanishes, and you can't help but cry harder.

You don't know if it's a good or bad thing that after all this time- the one time they actually notice that you're gone, is when you not only get kidnapped, but can't escape by yourself. That the one time they acknowledge you, you're almost dead, bleeding out, and the most messy and vulnerable you've ever been.

Maybe life really did have some grudge against you to go to such lengths to fuck you over, but right now you're too relieved to be saved to care at the moment.

Yet, to say the Batfam feels awful on a totally new level, is an understatement. They understand feeling relieved, but to this extent? It's like you never expected them to come and save you at all... and that little thought seems to be true when one of them tries to help you out, and you're still laughing weakly as you continue to cry. Asking through a broken, wavering voice if all of this is real, and isn't some fucked up hallucination your having to make passing on easier. That they really showed up, and as a last ditch effort to not make your death anymore painful then it has to be- this isn't just some... dream, to make you feel like you were actually cared for in your final moments.

It breaks their hearts, a lot.

Especially when you repeat questions, as if trying to really make sure that they're there, that they're real, and aren't just some figment of your imagination. That they actually came to save you, and weren't off saving Gotham or the world itself instead. Constantly trying to be sure, as if the moment you weren't- then you'd be convinced that you were slowly dying all alone, with no hope of help coming — not even thinking that the Batfam would come — and just have to sit with that fact as you take your final breaths.

The pain you feel is almost equal to their's, and what really worries and scares most of them is how sure and certain you are that they wouldn't show up. That either the thought would never cross their minds, or that something else would come up and they'd leave you for dead, or that they just wouldn't notice that you were kidnapped at all.

Which, said fright and worry is only amplified when you have to keep asking "Are you really here? Are you sure?" And the like, and they have to keep finding ways to prove to you that yes, they are here. They're helping you, and they're not leaving- they actually managed to save you, and that you're going be okay now. That they aren't going away, and are very, very real.

Each little, broken laugh chips away at the pieces of their hearts, and your own disbelief that they can't seem to get rid of no matter what they do or say, is just a punch to the gut. You didn't just think that they wouldn't show up, but were fully convinced that they wouldn't even bother with it. That own realization just... hurts more than anything.

Had they really been that awful to you? Had they really caused you so much pain and hurt that you'd not only think of such a thing, but fully believe it? They didn't remember doing anything in particular that would cause you to think that way... but maybe that wasn't the problem. It wasn't what they did to you, but rather what they didn't do, and that's when the pieces finally begin to click.

Of course some don't want to believe it, similar to how some of them in "Not Here" express a brief moment of denial and disbelief themself, but they don't get to experience such a luxury anymore. Not with you here- bleeding, hurt, and crying from both relief and disbelief, because you couldn't believe that they actually showed up.

Even when they do quickly take you to a hospital and get you treated, that image of you is still ingrained into their minds. They can't forget it- how you looked at them and spoke, and just how you treated the whole situation because of how convinced you were.

From here they'll try to rebuild what they can, and all definitely be 100% more protective then they've ever been. The moment you're able to come home (which, you ARE coming home. No if's or but's. You don't get a chance this time.), they're doing everything in their power to not only 'fix' everything, but make sure that you are safe at all possible moments of the day.

It's safe to say that the whole experience traumatized the whole family to a certain degree. Not only with you being kidnapped- but you trying to escape multiple times and almost dying, because you were so convinced that no one would show up to help. (Which, while it was also because you can genuinely handle yourself and did believe you could escape on your own, the Batfam doesn't entirely believe that (and you almost dying doesn't help with that) so they chalk it up to you being desperate, because you 'knew' that no one was coming to save you. Which also may or may not make certain people worse in the process.) So they're already leaning pretty heavy on the yandere tendencies. Which most likely develop over the time you're in the hospital, and into your first week or so staying in the Manor.

Which does lead us to your little addition:

Which, you are very correct!!!

Our boy Jason, put in very simple terms, doesn't take the situation well. At all.

Seeing you bloodied, bruised, abused, malnourished, and on the brink of death no less- definitely doesn't help with his reaction at all.

Don't get me wrong! All of them react pretty negatively to the situation, and many of them have very strong reactions- Jason in particular just has the worst and strongest one. :]

The moment he sees you, he's immediately reminded of his death. The urge to comfort you is strong, but he just doesn't know what to do- and so he ends up not doing anything until you're in the hospital. Which, leading up to that point, he's checking your pulse as often as he can.

He knows what it's like to be hopeless, and feel that helpless- but to know that you experienced that? To know that you almost died like he did? It ruins him. It fucks him up more than anything else.

From the way you looked at the Batfam- the way you looked at him, and just how utterly relieved you were, despite drowning in your own disbelief- it haunts him. The state they found you in messed him up enough, but all of your questions, and just how you were even trying to reassure yourself that them showing up and saving you was real, fucked him up big time.

Before he knows it, he's hunting down the people who kidnapped you, and wiping out whatever is left of their bloodlines. Not sparing a single person, as they didn't spare you- with their generations leading to your kidnappers being born.

He's making their final moments just as painful as yours would've been. Their agony almost matching his, as he couldn't forget the night they saved you. He refused to. That moment forever engraved into his mind, reminding him of what also was if they were a second too late, and how it made him realize just how much he's fucked up along with everyone else.

While Jason can't exactly just waltz into the Hospital to visit you, since he is still considered dead and everything, he sneaks into your room instead. Trying to give what comfort he can in his own silent, but close way. Holding your hand with a gentleness even foreign to himself, and saying how he's sorry and that he'll make it up to you. Promising every night that he'll make those that made you suffer pay with their lives, and then some. Saying how he won't leave your side ever again, only to be gone by the morning.

He brings what he can as well. Even if it isn't as showy or extravagant as any of the things that Bruce, Damian, Dick and so on are getting you, or as pretty and lively as the flowers that are placed by your bedside. It's just his own little way of trying to make it up to you.

The small, little gifts he gives you are indeed little, and he doesn't give much since he doesn't think that your forgiveness or love can be bought. But he still tries to give something. So he'll give things that can be as little as hair ties or bracelets, to earrings (that totally aren't matching) and a little music box that reminded him of the melodies you've made thus far. It's all just another way of saying that he cares about you, and not only wants to build your relationship but be connected to you somehow.

The earrings, even if you don't wear them but just have them, make him feel closer to you then he can. He hopes that in some little way, that whenever you wind and let that music box play its tune, that you are reminded of him or think of him in some way. That when you wear or even look at the few ties and bracelets he's given you, he comes to mind in some small way, and manages to bring the smallest of smiles on your face.

Jason doesn't yearn to be remembered or seen fondly, but he would like to and deeply appreciate it. Since when he looks at his earnings, he's reminded of you, and the pair he managed to give you. Leaving him unable to fight back the smile that grows on his face.

For the most part, he just generally tries to be more present, hardly leaving you alone unless he has to, and spending every moment he can by your side. Moments that begin to last longer once he finishes his buisness with your kidnappers, and their families. He doesn't push too hard or is super in your face and constantly invading your personal space. He just exists in your presence, and as long as you're around he's got no complaints.

Though he does get extremely protective and possessive. Especially if your sleeping or something, and someone walks in. God have mercy if they need to wake you up, and dare to try without saying anything to Jason first.

Which- all of this boils down to you getting scary dog privileges every night, which turns into an almost 24/7 type of deal when you get discharged from the hospital.

---

Sorry if this is a little all over the place. I wrote it all in one go for the most part and haven't really looked it over, so there's probably some mistakes I didn't catch and missed 😅

Still, I hope that's alright, and as you can see- i really enjoy this idea :]

[greynatomy]

where were you in the morning? - two

alessia russo x reader

previous - next

———

When Alessia woke up, she was cuddled into a body causing her to freeze. She remembers the night before very vividly. She loved it, but she’s never done something like it before. She freaks out, needing to get out of there.

Carefully getting out of your grasp, she dresses, making sure she doesn’t leave anything. She stares at your sleeping form for a bit, thinking if what she’s doing is the right choice. Your face looking very peaceful, a small smile can be seen. Biting on her bottom lip, she tiptoes out of the room, not looking back.

Arriving home, Alessia first hops into the shower, cleaning all last night off. She blanked out most of the shower, not really sure how to process what had happened. Alessia wasn’t one to have one night stands. Especially not with strangers, strangers who also happen to be as famous as you are.

A few days later, a couple people from the Arsenal team are gathered at Leah’s house. Everyone was gathered around the living room, a movie being drowned out in the background by all the chatter.

“Hey, what are you watching?” Beth asks, looking over Vic’s shoulder.

“My favorite musician. She posted a teaser for a new song.”

“Let me see.” This got peoples’ attention, wanting to watch too, gathering around Victoria.

liked by victoriapelova, harrystyles and 2,576,446 others

yourinstagram lil something i wrote

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user the lyrics-

↳ user who hurt her

user i need this released NOW

user 💳 take my money 💳

taylorswift can’t wait to hear this!

↳ yourinstagram i’ll text you!

victoriapelova so good!

—

Where were you in the morning, baby? You didn't leave your number for me Left me without a warning, baby Where were you in the morning, baby? How do you, how do you just walk away?

—

“Who hurt her?”

While everyone discussed the song, Alessia sat quietly. Was this about her? No, it couldn’t have been. Right? You were famous, could’ve been another girl in the span of… four days? Yes. No?

She was conflicted. She knew she shouldn’t have left you that morning. It was one of the best she’s ever felt, connecting to someone emotionally - and physically.

“Alessia?” She breaks out of her trance and faces Leah. “You Alright? Been spaced out for a bit.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry.”

“Nah, don’t be sorry. What’s on your mind?”

She’s debating whether she should tell them or not. They are her teammates and more importantly, also their friends.

“Okay. This stays here. Okay?” They all nod their heads. “Remember when we went out a few days ago? Well, uh, I met her there.”

“Met who?”

“Y/N Y/LN.”

“What?” “When?” “You’re joking.”

“Okay! Okay! Uh, and I’m pretty sure that song is about me.”

“Wait, wait. Back up for a minute. So, you’re saying you slept with Y/N Y/LN.”

“Yeah.”

“How was she?”

“Katie!”

“Does she know who you are?” Kyra asks, getting everyone back on track.

“She knows my name?”

“That’s all? What else did you talk about?”

Alessia goes into vague detail on what happened, making sure not to share anything very intimate.

“…and we talked about getting breakfast in the morning.”

“And you just left her?”

“I know!” Alessia’s voice raised, then softened. “I know. I regretted leaving the moment the door closed.”

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Musician Age Gap AU Pt 11

As soon as Alex and her family are safely in a car on the way to a hotel, Kara and Lena board Lena's jet back to the states. During the flight, Lena curls in on herself, picking nervously at her cuticles with a worried, guilty expression.

"Hey," Kara says, pulling Lena's gaze towards her. Her features remain heavy. "I'm not mad."

At that, Lena's face softens, but only enough to grimace with a soft huff. "You're not the one I'm worried about."

Kara must look confused, because Lena soon continues.

"As a rule, my mother knows who I spend my time with, and when." The guilt returns. "Except for you."

"So she didn't know I was in Capri with you..."

Lena confirms it with a shake of her head. "Nor why I went back to National City."

Well... this wouldn't be easy then. Dealing with a rabid press is one thing-- being at odds with one of the key players in keeping her family safe is another.

"I'm sorry," Lena murmurs. "I just... wanted to keep you mine. Just for a little while."

Kara shoots her a look. "I'm still not mad."

"You can be. If you want."

"I don't." She moves seats, switching to the bench Lena's on. She makes no attempt to still Lena's nervous picking, but simply spreads her legs enough for the outsides of their thighs to touch. Kara intends the physical contact to serve as reassurance, but she doesn't know if it works.

"I'm a big girl, Lena. I know I can back out whenever I want to. But I don't. Not yet."

A little bit of warmth cuts through Lena's anxious fog. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Kara's heart beats a little faster, when a small smile answers her. Impulsively, she leans over to kiss Lena's cheek. She feels... giddy? Far more exhilirated she has any right to feel at her age. "Bring it."

----

Lillian Luthor is a slender, austere woman. Kara clocks her the moment the plane lands on the tarmac, tall and styled in her designer clothes and looks that only money and astronomically good genes could provide.

Only Kara witnesses the short beat Lena takes before stepping out of the plane, bracing herself for whatever follows. Kara keeps pace with her once they descend the ladder in single file. She may not be driving this bus, but she is no shrinking flower. In this, she is Lena's equal.

Not that the look Lillian gives her would have anyone believe.

"In the car," the woman orders. "Now."

Lena obeys without a word. Kara is a little slower to fall in line, but ultimately follows Lena's lead. Lillian climbs in behind them, leaving Jess and a woman Kara doesn't recognize to scramble on board last.

"The family is checked into the Lariat. So far no indication that they've been identified, but its still early."

"What about Kara?"

"What about you??" Lillian demands, tone scathing in its heat. "What were you thinking?"

Kara sees Lena wilt, and anger bubbles up in her throat. "Don't talk to her like that--"

"You have zero business here," Lillian fires back with steel in her voice.

"Mom!" Lena exclaims in Kara's defense. "It's not that big a deal--"

Ice blue eyes turn on Lena, freezing her to the spot. "It's a big enough deal that you saw fit to sneak behind my back, with a woman twice your age no less--"

"Mom!"

"Timeline, now."

Lena's shoulders sag, but says nothing. Looking to divert some of Lillian's ire, Kara moves to speak up. "We--"

"She already knows," Lena rolls her eyes.

"I do," her mother confirms. "But I'll hear it from you nonetheless."

Lena huffs. "Night two of the National City stop. Her niece left her phone backstage, and we exhanged numbers."

"Then?"

"Texting."

The exhange sounds like a repeat of one they've had many times before. Neither Jess nor the other woman-- who Kara assumes is Lillian's own assistant-- look at all nervous at the rapidfire crossing of words.

"Texting?" Lillian demands. "Or sexting?"

Kara bristles. "I don't see how that's any of your--"

"*Texting*, Mom, god!" Lena seethes. Her cheeks are bright red, from anger or embarassment or both. "Will you just--"

"Just *what* Lena?"

Lillian's voice is so sharp Kara can see the moment it cuts Lena down. Her jaw tightens, and when Kara sublty shifts to take her hand, Lena shifts away.

Satisfied that her daughter is suitably in line, Lillian turns to her assistant. "Mercy, have PR prepare a statement. The photos were misconstrued, they simply capture a couple of friends taking in the sights."

"Mom, no," Lena croaks. "I don't want-- who cares if people know that I'm gay--?"

"You are not gay!"

Lena flinches, features blanching as though Lillian had landed a physical blow. Only then does Lillian seem to realize that she's talking to an actual person. Her tone doesn't soften, exactly, but it doesn't sharpen any further.

"Your *brand* isn't," she amends, likely the closest thing to thing to an apology Lena would get.

"I thought Lena is the brand," Kara interjects.

Lillian's frigid gaze snaps to her. "She is."

"Her fans are more open-minded than you think--"

"Her fans don't buy tickets," Lillian informs her coolly. "Their parents do. And *they* are far less forgiving."

Kara looks towards Lena, who meets her gaze with a helpless one of her own. It's not untrue-- Esme hadn't bought her tickets, after all.

"Then what do we do?" Kara allows finally.

"Cut ties. Immediately." Lillian looks down her nose at Kara, her regard as condescending as though she were speaking to a teenager, not a women merely ten years her junior.

"No."

To Kara's surprise, Lena's response is faster than her own, and carries only the barest of trembles.

"Don't be foolish..."

"I'm not--"

"Do you love her?"

Lena freezes. Her gaze flicks to Kara. "It's only been a few weeks..."

"Precisely. Cut ties now, before--"

"But I want to," Lena finishes. This time, her gaze lingers on Kara's, a small smile warming her eyes. "I want to love her."

Lillian scoffs low in her throat. "You're too old to be play the love sick teenager. Or have you forgotten what happened last time?"

Kara watches Lena hold her mother's gaze, something heavy passing between them, inscrutable to anyone else. But Lena holds her ground, and surprisingly, Lillian is the one to back down.

"Then what would you suggest?"

"Like you said-- we give them something else to talk about." Lena swallows, but forges ahead. "I have some new material, I can perform it live in Paris."

Lillian purses her lips, but doesn't smack down the idea. She considers it, her gaze calculating. "And you two?"

"We do what we want," Lena delivers firmly. "No statement, no confirmation or denial. Let people see interpret it however they want. However they need."

Kara thinks of the young fans, isolated in their orientations or identities, seeing themselves reflected in their favorite artist. The gift that would be, the vote of confidence needed to dream of a future where what Lena and Kara share might be theirs.

Lillian shoots Kara a hard glare. "And you? It's your family in the crossfire if this idea goes to shit."

"Then it goes to shit, and we deal with it."

It might be selfish of her, but in all of their conversations, neither Alex or Kelly have suggested backing off. They spoke only of adapting, of overcoming, and Kara knows she has their unspoken support. And even now, being talked down to and chided, she feels happier sitting next to Lena in this moment than she has in years.

Lillian barely contains her snort of derision.

"Very well," she concedes, with a sharp note of criticism. Then she turns from them entirely to speak with Mercy in low tones.

Kara takes advantage of the moment to lean closer to Lena, murmuring in her ear.

"I want to go to Paris with you."

Lena blinks at her. "You don't have to--"

"Would you feel better if I were there?" Kara asks bluntly. Lena deflates a little, but this time in relief rather than shame.

"Yeah."

"Then let me come." Kara gives Lena's hand a squeeze, and is rewarded with a tired smile. "You're not alone in this."

"Okay," Lena says, her smile deepening into a challenge. "Let's bring it."

[esoteriamaya]

ASTROLOGY QUESTIONS ? PT. 2

Hey guys, just wanted to make an open discussion of some placements that we're on my mind. If you wanna chime in, do it. Love to here your thoughts and we all converse about our astrology placements and what not! Lets go!

Pisces mercury - How does it feel to have very soothing voices? Do people ever tell you how your voice heals them? or puts them to sleep? Are you a singer/musician? Do you feel musically inclined? Are you very empathetic to the things other people say? When your out, are you able to feel certain shift and changes in the vibration around you? Have you ever thought of sound healing? Do you believe you are a star?

Libra suns - Do you consider yourself an individual who lives a double life, or someone who has to try more than one thing in your journey be it dating, home life, hobbies, etc? How often do you have to put up boundaries? & how often do you tend to lower does boundaries when it comes to people you love/are close to? Do you feel like a romantic? Are you really a flirt?

Capricorn suns - Why so serious? How do you handle your depressive episodes ? What is something you experienced that made you focus more on goals, financial stability, and anything of the mundane ESPECIALLY at a young age? What made you want more at such an early age? Do you believe you have the ability to make lots of money? Do people tell you that its hard to love you?

Mercury Conjunct Venus - How often do you use that pretty little voice of yours to get what you want? Do you consider yourself photogenic? Are you into taking pictures/being a photographer? Do you share your think pieces, poems, journals, anything related to writing? Do you write at all? Sing? Dance? Are you creative with your hands?

Jupiter in the tenth - How often do you fall into depressive episodes because you're not where you want to be? Do you know that you're well liked? Do you consider yourself popular? Do you feel as if you have imposter syndrome ?

Lilith/Mercury - How often do your thoughts bring people to a fool stop? Are you normally quiet on certain topics you're passionate about? Is there something you want to say but the reactions of others is a little unbearable? What is the MOST taboo thing you can tell me? Im all ears.

Moon/Pluto - How many emotional outbursts have changed the trajectory of where your life went? How has embracing your emotions helped you clear out the old? Is there anyone you can share a deep bond with? Was your mom (or another feminine figure) a good emotional support system for you growing up? How was the family life? Was it healing or traumatic ?

Lets discuss! Enjoy :)

[femsolid]

“We’re in 2019. Female hair is CENSORED everywhere. You don’t see it on TV. You don’t see it in magazines or adverts. There is an injunction of society for women to remain 'soft' and completely hairless. Just like a little girl. I don’t believe that’s a coincidence. Young, skinny, hairless girls have been very popular in the media for years and it makes me wonder. Who's behind it all? Who's perpetuating this message about women looking like adolescent girls? It sometimes feels rather paedophilic. It worries me.” – Camille Alexander. Musician (2019)

“Years ago I did think about getting laser hair removal for my navel hair, but then I realised I'd be paying a couple of hundred pounds just to conform to expectations that I don't even care about– I'd much rather use the money for a holiday or circus lessons! I think that's one of the things which annoys me so much about society and the media's expectation for women to be basically hairless– they're pressuring us to invest serious time and money and endure pain. It's a double standard and it's unfair. Being able to accept your body– hair, scars and all– is freeing. I remember seeing my Aunt Glynis dancing to reggae in the 90s with her armpit hair showing– she looked so confident, happy and free. As a child, I couldn't put my finger on 'why', but I can now. On a practical level, it feels pretty darn good when I consider how much time, money and pain I've saved by accepting my body as it is. I like to think that that memory of my aunt being free and totally comfortable in her own skin is one that I can emulate and pass onto other girls and women. It hasn't always been received well though. At Lambeth County Fair one year, a friend of a friend was seriously freaked out when he saw my armpits. He asked me "what's wrong with you? Why would you do that?!", which was pretty amusing but bewildering. It reminded me there will always be people out there who may react and judge me like that. Thankfully, the opinion of people who think like that means very little to me! For me having hair and not caring is a bit like being part of a secret club. When you notice someone else who is resisting society's expectations and staying hairy you feel solidarity and respect. It's nice to be part of that.” – Isabel (2019)

“As a teenager, I remember trying to stuff myself into a box of what a girl should be like. It always felt uncomfortable; padded bras, shoes that hurt and shaving rash. Running, swimming and climbing have helped me to see the strength and resilience in my body and to love it for what it is. Growing my armpit hair has been a recent experiment and the longer it gets, the more I like it! I like the way it looks & feels. It has given me a new respect for myself. So I say, embrace growth & if it pleases you, let it all grow!” – Jess (2018)

“Shaving, epilating or waxing hurts. I was tired of suffering, trying to adapt to the image of a ‘beautiful young woman’ society is selling us. Everybody told me to shave. As a teenager, it’s a huge subject among girls; where do you shave? What method are you using? It takes so much time and costs so much money (the majority of hair removal products are also not recyclable). All of these reasons coming one after another motivated me to stop shaving. I would often have irritated skin after shaving and being a very sporty person, the sweat and the friction of my clothes would cause pain.The worst thing was having sex on the second day after shaving my vulva. I didn't understand why women would suffer and waste so much time on hiding who they really are. By showing my body hair on stage, I would like to stimulate and change people’s point of view. I’d like to motivate women to make their own choices.”

– Darian Koszinski. Circus artist (2018)

“I stopped shaving completely when I was a teenager because of two instances. The first? I got tired of all the time wasted on maintenance and the discomfort that came with it. The second was when I went on a few multiple week-long backpacking trips; it would have been extremely inconvenient to spend hours ripping my hair out, so I let things grow. Being so close to nature let me dive deeper into and re-examine the relationship with myself and the world, acting as a mirror. In nature, there is wild; it is as beautiful as it is untamed. How could it be anything other than that? I felt so relieved and free when I let it grow out. It felt like being able to breathe. It was incredibly comfortable too. I felt a confidence and boldness returning, like I was replenishing some kind of primal power. I will say that a very pleasant side effect of having armpit hair is its ability to ward off rude people whom I wouldn’t care to interact or associate with anyway. Because the people that care about that sort of thing and make it a point to say how disgusted they are, are precisely the kind of people that I don’t want in my life.”

– Kyotocat (2017)

“At this point in life, I feel that the real question shouldn't be 'why did you let your armpit hair grow?' But actually, 'why did you shave in the first place?' Please celebrate your body! Own who you are and be that! Those who celebrate who and what they are, are creating a much open and safer space for those who are struggling to understand who and what they want to be in life. It might be easier said than done but give it a try. We'll then help create a healthier and understanding society with less bullshit than there already is...”

– Alex Wellburn (2017)

“I never stopped shaving because I never started. I do remember my mother shaving when I was younger and I thought that was pretty unnecessary since she was a strict muslim. I later realised it's a thing women do to look more desirable to men. It really irritated me that the people who reacted negatively to my natural armpit hair were men. Like it was the most disgusting thing in the world. It really gets on my tits. This is just one more reason that I don't shave it off. It belongs to me and I don't make noise about the "ugly"; hair on men which are sometimes pretty painful in the eye... But you've got to get over it and don't let these idiots get under it. I would recommend growing it to any women.”

– Ayan Mohamed. Graduate architecture student (2014)

Natural Beauty Photoshoot

[lastoneout]

It's also like super fucking infuriating to see people continue to argue that generative AI is the best way for disabled and/or poor people to make art because like, you know what helps make art more accessible? Giving poor and disabled people money.

Like take me for instance, I'm disabled. I get severe migraines and intense leg/back pain if I sit at my computer for too long, my hEDS makes holding pens and pencils hard, my ADHD makes it hard for me to start certain tasks and/or stop them before I potentially hurt myself, my neck also hurts if I look down too much, my dyslexia AND my ADHD both make it difficult to keep track of a story as I write and use correct spelling and grammar, plus, I need to prioritize taking care of myself and going to appointments and keeping my house clean and that takes up a lot of my free time. All of these things make creating the kind of art I want to create difficult if not occasionally impossible.

So what do you think would solve my problems better? Giving me money so that I can have a drawing tablet and desk chair that won't hurt my neck or back, another tablet + pen and a lap table and comfortable body pillows for drawing in bed, easier transportation to my doctors appointments, effective treatment for my chronic pain and migraines, the ability hire someone to help me keep my house clean, a spelling/grammar checker that isn't complete ass, and a therapist and psychatrist who can help me manage my ADHD better?

Or an AI program that takes my input and spits out a drawing or story made of stolen content glued together that, in the case of the art, I cannot meaningfully edit without starting over, which also destroys the environment in the process?

Seems pretty obvious to me. I don't need AI, I need help to manage the things that are actually stopping me from being able to write and draw.

Or take my mom. She's had severe rhumatoid arthritis since she was a small child, her hands are deformed and she relies on her wheelchair to get around. She doesn't need AI to help her paint, she needs special paint brushes she can actually hold, a table her wheelchair will fit at, and someone to help her with personal hygiene/keep her house clean/take her to doctors appointments so she actually has free time to paint.

Does that poor kid growing up in public housing with parents who are too poor to afford art classes or supplies or to send them to college really need a computer program to draw for them, or do they need support to help them take those classes, buy drawing supplies, and money so they can go to college.

Blind people can paint, deaf musicians exist, people with missing limbs find all sorts of ways to make art, people with parkinson's paint with typewriters, my mother can't hold a normal paintbrush and she makes some of the most beautiful watercolor paintings I've ever seen, Van Gogh had bipolar disorder and only sold like one painting when he was alive, I mean for real how many different artists have you heard of who's biographies start with them being born into poverty?

This is not meant to be inspiration porn, these people are just ones who were able to find ways to make art despite their struggles. They shouldn't have had to struggle at all, but god imagine how many more artisrs and writers we could have had if none of them had to overcome those struggles. It breaks my heart to think of all the wonderful art that never got to exist because no one helped the people who could have made it actually have the time, money, support, and safety they needed to make it. AI would not have saved them because making art isn't the problem, being disadvantaged is the problem. Living in a world that refuses to make room for you is the problem. Being fucking poor is the problem. Humans have always found ways to make art despite huge barriers, the solution isn't a computer that makes art for them, it's SUPPORT AND MONEY SO THEY CAN OVERCOME THOSE BARRIERS AND MAKE THEIR OWN ART.

As a last example: I love watching dancing and I would love to be able to dance, but I'm terrible at it(I got kicked off a dance team for not being able to learn the dance at all despite spending weeks on it, idk my brain wasn't made for dancing) and my disabled body makes it more pain than pleasure if not actively dangerous, anyway. Having a robot dressed to look like me dance next to me while I get to watch would not make me feel like I'm getting to dance. It would actually be extremely fucking demoralizing and frustrating. I would hate that!!

Having an AI spit out a painting or book would not make me feel like I got to paint or write a book. It's a fucking anamatronic doll running on stolen ideas and it will never be the same as getting to actually expirience the joy of creating art first hand. AI is not the solution. Helping people who need it is the solution. And I am CONSTANTLY pissed to think about all the time and money that goes into these fucking AI programs that would be better spent helping disabled and poor people get the help they need so they can make art themselves, all while the people running the nightmare plagiarism pollution machines pretend that their horrible inventions exist to help people like me.

[medusapelagia]

23 Meet me at Skull Rock

written for @steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Skull Rock) and @augustwritingchallenge (Prompt:Musician ), @aug-kissed (prompt: Using Tongue) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: no one Words: 1403

(Did Tumblr eat my fic... AGAIN?! Yes! It did! But now I'm smarter and I have copies! Lol XD)

The car is parked down the road, hidden behind a thick bush and a big tree, the same place Steve used every time he hung out at Skull Rock. Nobody could see it from the street and that gave him all the privacy he needed.

Steve has been to Skull Rock so many times by now, but every time was different from the time before.

There was a time when he was still King Steve and he used to come here with the girl of the week. There was a time when he was just Steve, and he drove Nancy here just to look at the stars and intertwine their fingers. There was a time when he was a warrior, ready to fight, and he came to save a friend.

But this time...

This time is different from all the other times.

This time is a goodbye.

Eddie hasn’t really told him, but when he asked him to meet at Skull Rock Steve immediately got it. The road is close enough to the highway. They can share a joint, drink a beer or two, and then Eddie will drive his car far away from Hawkins. From the place that was never home to him. And Steve will remain. Because his roots are deep and strong and he can’t move. Not when the boys are still there. Not when Robin has promised to take a year off to help him figure out what he wants to do with his life. Not when his parents finally came back to take care of him even if he doesn’t need it anymore.

“My liege! Come! Sit down! I already started a fire and brought some s’mores.”

Steve sits on the ratty blanket Eddie has laid down on the ground to protect his royal ass from the bumpy rocks, grabbing a marshmallow and stabbing it with a stick, roasting it on the flame.

Crackers and chocolate are waiting for him at Eddie’s side when he puts the hot candy out of the fire.

“So, you’re going to try?” Steve asks, squishing the marshmallow between the crackers and the chocolate.

“I have nothing to lose,” Eddie mumbles, his mouth full of crackers and some chocolate dripping down his fingers.

“Musician. That’s a cool career.”

“That’s the dream: playing my songs in an arena full of people who sing along with me. And there are other benefits. Like groupies, free stuff, and money. So much money.” Eddie adds in a dreamy tone.

“Yeah. It sounds, nice.”

“I know I’m dreaming big, but you should try it sometime. It really changes your day.  And even if I won’t make it, I will be far from this stupid town anyway, so that’s a plus. In a big town like Los Angeles, I could get lost in no time. No more angry parents threatening me or Wayne, no more slashed tires. No more spray paint on the trailer. Yeah. It sounds like Paradise.”

“The boys?”

“Jeff is coming with me, he is going to attend college in California anyway, And next year Gareth and Frank will graduate too so we’ll be reunited. And maybe we’ll finally make it big. If not, there are so many bars where we could play. I'm not worried at all.”

Steve nods quietly while inside him his feelings are bubbling like a hot soup. He reaches out to grab another marshmallow, and his hand bumps into Eddie’s. The metal head smiles brightly, “Didn’t know you had a sweet tooth,” he says, offering him the bag to grab another candy, but that seems to be Steve’s breaking point. He drops the bag of candies, not caring about ants or other insects, and pushes Eddie with his shoulders to the ground.

“Tell me to stop,” he whispers on Eddie’s lips, “tell me you don’t want this and I’ll leave.”

Eddie’s eyes have always been big, but right now they are huge pools of chocolate brown staring at him in astonishment.

He doesn’t ask Steve to stop, he doesn’t push him away or scream against him, he grabs the back of Steve’s head with one hand and drags him toward himself. Eddie tastes like chocolate and candies with a hint of cheap beer, that’s what Steve will remember about his first kiss with a man. His hands are strong and his long slim fingers are curling on Steve’s back, urging him closer, and closer. They’re chest to chest, Steve practically crushing Eddie with his body, and then Steve’s tongue pushes a little bit harder and Eddie grants him permission to kiss him deeply. Their tongue meets halfway, as if they couldn’t wait to finally touch each other. Steve’s tongue twirls and moves faster into Eddie’s mouth and Eddie follows his lead, obediently. It’s not so different from kissing a girl, the only difference is Eddie’s chapped lips and a hint of beard growth brushing against Steve’s chin, but Steve doesn’t startle at the realization that he’s kissing a man. He just makes himself softer and kinder, not wanting to leave Eddie with a bad memory of their first kiss.

Steve doesn’t know how long they keep kissing, he hasn’t made out for so long in months and he’s somehow surprised when he finds Eddie straddling him, their hard dicks brushing one against the other behind their jeans.

But then Eddie retreats, crawling backward on the blanket.

“What was that?” he asks, cleaning his mouth with the back of his hand, and Steve knows he fucked up, he really did.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Is that so? I don’t know what I was thinking?! You fucking kissed me, man!” Eddie yells, “You… you stole it from me!”

“I didn’t steal anything.” Steve replies tiredly, “I kissed you, I made a big mistake, and I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, you should have not!” Eddie insists, and now he’s standing, touching with his fingertips his plum lips, “Why did you do that?”

“I don’t know Eds. I wanted to, okay? You’re leaving anyway, why does it matter? It’s not like you have never been kissed before!” Steve sighs, brushing a hand through his hair, and then the realization hits him. “It wasn’t… it wasn’t your first kiss, right? You… you have all those dirty magazines you bought in Indy, you always talk about that stupid hanky code. You… you have never been kissed before.” Steve whispers, pinching his nose, “Listen, man, I’m sorry, ok? I didn’t mean it.”

“You didn’t mean it? Thank you, Steve! That makes things so much better!” Eddie complains, his arms crossed in front of him, “Hey Eddie, I stole your first kiss because I was drunk and sad. I don’t even like boys but you were here so I just did it. Sorry. But we’re fine right?” Eddie yells, mocking Steve’s voice.

“That’s not… It’s not like that, ok? It wasn’t…”

“It wasn’t what? An experiment? A test?”

“I do like you, moron!” Steve finally yells and his voice reverberates in the quiet of the woods, then he lowers his tone, “I do like you. I have liked you for quite a bit but I never gather the courage to say anything. And now you’re leaving and I won’t see you again, and maybe you’re right, I’m sad and drunk. But I did mean it, Eddie. It wasn��t an experiment. I swear.” Steve almost whispers, avoiding staring at Eddie in the eyes. 

The metalhead is still standing in front of the fire, his silhouette dark and ominous.

“You did? You really meant it?” Eddie asks, and this time it looks like his crossed arms are pulling him together instead of shielding him.

“I did. I do.”

Very slowly, Eddie sits back on the blanket, “I’m going to leave anyway,” Eddie reminds him.

“I know. It’s the right thing to do.” Steve agrees.

“But maybe… you and Buckley could think about joining me next year. Or the year after.”

Steve reaches out with one hand, caressing Eddie’s arm.

“I’d love to.”

“So… maybe we can try again? Practice makes perfect, you know?”

Steve chuckles, “Yes. Yes, we can. Come here, babe.”

They kiss until the sun rises and when they get back to their cars Eddie’s last promise is that he’ll call him as soon as he’ll find a place to stay. And if Steve is already waiting for Eddie's call, sitting next to the phone, is none‘s business.

[hazbin-a-helluvamagines]

Hello ! I have a request for you so I hope you can do it ! 🩷 (no rush obviously, take your time ☺️💓)

I wanted to request for Verosika mayday and (she's my favorite gal) with a cute idol reader (they're in a relationship)

example for idol reader: (basically They're cute as hell)

Can be any gender you want

Verosika Mayday With A Cute Idol S/O

Now, I'll start this off with the obvious: before you start dating, she sees you as competition. I mean, how dare you come onto her turf and steal her fans?!

However, it doesn't take long for her to meet you with intent of threatening you away, only for her to begin swooning over you soon after.

You're just?? So sweet??? Like??

She's enamored with you, but she thinks it's suspicious. Soon after, though, she learns that it's not an act, that you really ARE that sweet and that cute.

It isn't long until you two start dating, and she makes it VERY clear to her posse that you're off-limits because you're HER sweet little S/O.

She'll also actually refrain from fucking people, either on earth or in hell, as long as she has you. She adores you beyond belief, viewing you as just too sweet to do that to.

Now, she's got that pop star money. So anytime she sees anything that even SLIGHTLY reminds her of you, congratulations, you've got twelve.

You two would bond over music, definitely. No matter what kind of music you sing (I assume pop based on the term 'idol'), and she'll even suggest karaoke dates for the both of you.

Plus, she'll integrate herself into your professional life, too, with collabs! Interchanging, switching vocals, with one of you singing your part of the main chorus and the other doing the backing vocals, and vice versa.

Another thing: she'll have you help with writing songs and everything! It's nice dating another musician, because you both know how to support each other endlessly.

If you're a succubus and you're interested in seducing humans together, perfect, she'll do that with you! But if not, that's okay, she only needs you.

Because you're so sweet and cute, though, it'd be a long time before she opened up about her psst relationship with Blitzø and how he broke her heart.

That said, she'll write a diss track about him with lines along the lines of "fuck you, got my new boo". She's petty, even if you aren't, and unless you say you're uncomfortable, she isn't gonna stop putting you in her pettiness anytime soon.

She'll help you with outfit coordination and ask for the same in turn, figuring that if you're both coordinated, it's a sly way to show everyone that you're hers.

PDA is a must, but it'll be lower than if you weren't an idol, because she doesn't want to risk you being made upset if it's in the tabloids. Anything that can be construed as 'friendly', she'll do in public. The kissing and stuff is saved for later. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

That said, if anyone ever flirts with you in public, she has no shame in making out with you or grabbing your ass right there in public, just to show that person that you're hers and only hers.

And likewise, if anyone ever flirts with her, she'll grab your hand and offer a cruel smirk while she turns them down.

"Yeeeeeah, no. I already have a fucking amazing S/O, who's most definitely better in bed than a lame fuckstain like you ever would be."

She'll try harder to get through rehab entirely for you. She wants to see that sweet, adorable smile on your face when she tells you that she's done with the Beelzejuice...

Basically, contrary to what you'd think, your sweetness an innocence inspires her to be better.

Although...

There's always a small part of her that wants to corrupt you more than anything else.

"Aww, S/O, you look almost good enough to eat~."

"Are you saying I'm sweet? :D"

"...Yeah."

She would never do that of course, but the thought is kind of just... there. But she loves you too much to ever try to do that to you.

All in all, Verosika is a good girlfriend to you, and both your professional and personal lives are filled with love and laughter together.

And she'll be damned if she lets anyone keep you apart...

Ever.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Ask Me Again Tomorrow

Pairing: Rockstar!Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~3.1k

Warnings: angst, forgetting an anniversary, feeling like he found someone better than you, fluff at the end

Request by anon: Hey can i request a rockstar Dean where the reader is her girlfriend and he miss them anniversary for some reason and never called the reader to tell her and she go mad and stop talking to him? Happy ending

Summary: Dean is a world-famous musician/singer who is currently on tour. Your five-year anniversary is coming up on a day that he is scheduled to do a show in Japan. What happens when he forgets to call you on this most special day?

Square Filled: celebrity for @spnonewordbingo (deleted bingo)

Author’s Note: i appreciate any and all comments! <3

x

The concert isn’t for another hour but there are already so many fans in the stands and on the floor. One of your favorite things about being in a relationship with a famous musician/singer is to meet their fans. Everyone knows you and Dean Winchester are in a relationship since you’re all he talks about whenever he goes for interviews. They’ve seen plenty of videos of you two together, and both your Instagrams are filled with each other. Your lives are private but you love to share him on all of your social media. You’ve gained a lot of followers since announcing your relationship but you don’t mind.

None of the fans are expecting you to show up even though they’re secretly hoping you do. Not every seat on the floor is filled but a lot of them are. Fans from all over the country grab their seats and mingle with each other, gossiping about the latest news about you and Dean. One girl from a small group sees you and visibly freaks so now everyone is looking her way. Once they see you, they get so excited to meet the elusive Y/N.

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you guys!” you grin and give hugs to those who want them.

“Can I take a picture with you?” someone asks.

You pose with as many fans as you can, making friends and complimenting everyone on their outfits.

“I love your dress! You look so cute in it!” you gush to a fan.

“Oh, my God. Thank you! You look amazing!” she grins. “Would it be too much to ask if you can sign this?”

“Me? You want my signature?”

“Of course! You’re amazing!”

“Okay,” you smile and sign whatever she has for you.

You’re not used to people asking for pictures and signatures since you’re not the famous one, but it’s nice to be recognized. You’re with Dean all the time so all of his fans know who you are. Where he’s the breadwinner, you’re the stay-at-home girlfriend who takes care of the plants and pets. You don’t like working so this is a good setup for you two. You two talked over how this was going to work and both came to the compromise that he would make the money. It’s not like he minded. He loves touring, interviews, and making music with his band. Plus, with no job to hold you down, you get to go with him to different countries and see his shows.

Once you’re done on the floor, you head backstage where your boyfriend is. He’s sitting down on the couch tuning his guitar. The opening act is just about to go on stage so he has some time before he needs to go on stage.

“I found her!”

Dean looks up when he hears his brother from across the room.

“There’s my girl,” Dean smiles and puts his guitar down. “I wonder where you went off to.”

“You have the nicest fans,” you grin and sit next to him.

“They’re all women. Of course, they’re nice.”

Dean wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into his side.

“I don’t know, I know some women are monsters.” Dean only smiles at your comment and kisses you slowly. God, it feels so good to kiss him. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, Winchester.”

“You know me. Give me ten minutes and I’m golden.” He pulls away from you with a sly grin. “Are you staying for the whole show?”

“Of course.”

You two relax on the couch as he tunes his guitar. As soon as the opening act is finished, it’s Dean’s turn to get ready for the stage. He and his band make their way under the stage so they can be lifted up onto it. You walk back onto the floor and over to the VIP section where some other celebrities have come to see his show. It’s also amazing to be friends with actual celebrities. You never thought you’d get the chance t be friends with so many of them.

As soon as Dean and his band are lifted onto the stage, the crowd goes wild. Dean is so happy on stage playing his music for people who make what he does possible. The smile on his face says it all, and you scream along with the fans. The entire concert is about two hours including the opening act which is more than enough time for Dean to get through many of his new songs including a few older hits that are played on the radio. He also plays his version of “Simple Man” as an acoustic set which the fans adore.

When the concert is over, you make your way backstage where Dean is celebrating with his brother, his band, and his manager for yet another successful show. Dean sees you enter the room and his eyes light up. He runs over to you, picks you up, and spins you around.

“I’m so proud of you, baby!”

He sets you down and kisses you quickly.

“Let’s go back to the trailer.”

“You have things to do after every show.”

“Not tonight.” He turns to Sam who only nods. He already knows what he is going to ask. “Thanks, Sammy!”

Dean whisks you back to his trailer which is empty. He has his own that he shares with Sammy while there is another one for the rest of the band. It’s a plan they all came up with since you’re usually with Dean and they really don’t want to hear you two on the road. You two stay in for the rest of the night as Dean shows you just how good it feels to be with someone who is good with his hands.

In the morning, you’re the first one up. The curtains next to his bed don’t cover the entire window so the sunlight on your eyes is what woke you up. You turn to face Dean who is still naked from last night’s activities. His cheeks are naturally rosy, his freckles dance across his face, it seems like his long lashes are touching the top of his cheekbones, and his mouth is slightly parted where soft snores come out. You could stay like this forever but you know you have to get back home.

You’re so much in your own head that you don’t see Dean open his eyes to show you his bright green irises. It’s still early so there is no one asking Dean to do things or needing him. It’s just you and Dean and that’s all you ever want. Dean raises his hand to push back the hair that has fallen in front of your eyes, and you grab his hand to run your finger over his calluses. He’s gotten a lot of them from playing guitar but you don’t mind. You like the roughness of his hands against your soft skin.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks in his morning voice.

“How much I love you. How much I wish we could stay like this.”

You lean up and kiss him, not caring that you both have morning breath.

“But?” he chuckles.

“You know me so well,” you smile. “But I can’t stay. I have to get home. Molly and Amber must be missing me so much.”

“Yeah, I know. I can’t keep you all to myself. I’ll be thinking of you, though.”

“Same here. Don’t forget, our anniversary is in a month.”

It’s marked for a day that is the same day as one of his shows in Japan but you have that weekend to do whatever you want together.

“I have it marked in my calendar. I won’t forget.”

Your small bubble of paradise has to end sometime, and when it does, you pack up your things to head back home to Austin, Texas. The flight is long but you’re kind of glad to be back home. Your big protective dogs, Amber and Molly, are happy to see you once you’ve picked them up from your best friend’s house. She is eager to hear stories from your travels so you stay at her house for a couple of hours.

“How was his concerts?” she grins and gives you some coffee.

“Really good. I’ve met so many fans and hung out with so many celebrities. It was insane! I even met Ryan Reynolds and his wife. They were so nice.”

“You bitch. Take me next time,” she jokes, and you both laugh.

“I wish I could be with him every day but I have girlfriend-household duties to take care of. For instance, these two,” you grin and pet both your dogs.

“Your anniversary is coming up, right? Any big plans?” Winona asks.

“I’m planning on flying out to Japan to surprise him the weekend after the date. He’s going to be in concert on the actual date. I’m taking him to a Japanese restaurant we’ve both been wanting to try. He doesn’t know I’m doing this.”

“That’s so exciting! Think he’s gonna do it this year?”

“I don’t know. I hope so. It’s been five years. I know he wants to do it but he might not since he’s in the middle of a tour.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. He might surprise you,” she winks.

The house is a bit lonely without Dean there but you make do for the three weeks. Amber and Molly are certainly glad to be back in their home with you, and you keep the house looking clean and better than ever. You’ll bring the dogs back to Winona when you leave for Japan next week even though you want to bring them with you.

You wake up on the day of your anniversary with a smile on your face. Today marks five years you’ve been with Dean and you’re so excited to spend another year with him. He is two hours ahead of you so when you wake up at eight, you’re shocked you don’t see a message from him. Every time you have a birthday, he’s always messaging you at midnight so he can be the first one to celebrate with you. He’s done the same thing for anniversaries but you don’t have a message this time. He probably spent last night partying with his bandmates so you’re not too concerned about it.

You get up, make breakfast, enjoy it in the sunroom, and do the dishes afterward. It’s a good day to spend outside in the garden or to relax by the pool so you change into your swimsuit and throw a light sundress over it. The day is spent in the sun and tending to the garden with beautiful vegetables growing. You might pick what you can make a hearty dinner later.

However, as the day goes on without a message or call from Dean, you grow worried. He didn’t forget, did he? You debate on calling him or not to see if he’s okay. No, if he forgot then that’s on him. The day turns to night, and you’re scrolling through TikTok for lives from his concert. He seems so happy on stage without a care in the world. Yeah, he forgot about you. Even well after the concert, he still doesn’t text or call you.

You go to bed with tears stains on your cheeks and a heavy heart.

You wake up the next morning and remember why you feel so shitty. Dean never called or texted. He forgot about you. You’re not upset that he forgot to tell you “Happy Anniversary”. It’s the fact that he could forget you. He’s out in different countries with his bandmates and brother, meeting girls in bars and fans on the floor while you’re back at home taking care of the dogs. You’re not with him while he’s out living this fabulous life. You’re pissed that there is a possibility he found someone better than you. You’re pissed at the possibility that he doesn’t love you anymore.

Your last relationship ended horribly and stuck with you even years into your relationship with Dean. He knows your fear of abandonment and he still didn’t call you.

You decide to head over to Winona’s house and hang with her instead of letting the silence sink into your skin. She is more than happy to have you over, and there is already a pot of coffee going when you arrive. She has a bottle of Baileys on the counter that she’ll add to make the coffees more spicy.

You sit at her kitchen island and put your phone on the tabletop. Just as you let go, Dean’s name pops on the screen. You quickly deny the call because you don’t want to hear his voice right now. Winona sees you deny the call and decides to add a bit of extra Bailey’s to your cup.

“Wanna talk about it?” she asks.

“He forgot our anniversary. He didn’t call or text me. I don’t even want to go to Japan anymore.”

“Are you sure that’s all that’s bothering you?”

“I don’t care that he forgot. I’ve forgotten some pretty important dates. I’m scared he’s gonna leave me for someone else. He’s out there partying with girls from all over the world.”

“Y/N, that man loves you. So he forgot. Big deal.”

She won’t get it. She doesn’t know the details of your three-year relationship with your ex-boyfriend.

Dean calls you again and this time, you turn your phone off without answering him. Winona is a good friend and she helps you through a lot, but this is something you have to deal with on your own. She won’t understand how you’re feeling because she’s never had her heart broken. She never stays with someone long enough to get her heart broken, and she’s the one who breaks it off. She has flings, which is completely fine, but it doesn’t warrant advice about something she doesn’t know.

You keep your phone off for the rest of the day until you’re about to go to bed. You turn it on to see there are fifty missed calls, over a hundred missed texts, and twenty voicemails. All from Dean. You don’t check the messages or the voicemails but instead, call Sam. He picks up on the first ring and explodes in a panic.

“What the fuck, Y/N! Why haven’t you been answering the phone?”

“Is that Y/N? Let me talk to her,” you hear Dean in the background.

“Don’t put him on. I don’t want to talk to him.”

“Listen, Dean is freaking the fuck out. He’s threatening not to do the show until you call him back.”

“Well, that’s not gonna happen. Look, something came up and I won’t be able to make it to Japan.”

“What the hell happened between you two? He has no clue what’s going on.”

That breaks your heart a bit. If he doesn't know then you’re not going to be the one to tell him.

“Nothing. Tell Dean he’s being a fucking idiot and to do the damm show.”

You hang up on Sam and turn your phone off again. You won’t want to hear from either of them, not for a couple of days at least. Dean can party with his friends and fuck all the women he wants to over there. The next couple of days are like this. You only have your phone on when you wake up and go to sleep because you know Dean will try non-stop to call you. You’d rather get cut off from the rest of the world than take Dean’s calls.

Those few days are spent with Winona since being in that big house by yourself isn’t ideal. Everything reminds you of Dean and the memories of being happy. She allowed you to sleep in her guestroom even though you two stayed in her bedroom like you were kids again having a sleepover.

Eventually, you had to get home so you begrudgingly walk up the front porch steps. You unlock the door and step inside. There on the floor are dozens of rose petals all leading to the back bedroom you share with Dean. On both sides of the petals is a line of fake candles to show the path you need to take.

You walk carefully to the bedroom to see a dozen more fake candles and much more rose petals. Standing in the middle of the room wearing his best suit is Dean. He turns to face you with a single rose in his hands.

“What are you doing here?” you gasp and step inside the bedroom. “You’re supposed to be in Japan. You’re supposed to be in concert right now.”

“I am so sorry for forgetting our anniversary.” You look at the ground as the feelings you have come rushing to the surface. “I love you so much. There is no excuse I can give you as to why I didn’t call you that night.”

Before you can say anything, Dean kneels to the ground on one knee. He reaches into his jacket pocket and takes out a small velvet box big enough to fit a ring. He opens his mouth to say something but you hold your hands out to stop him.

“Wait, Dean, are you proposing because you’re sorry or because you want to?” He doesn’t say anything to that which tells you it’s the former. You chuckle and kneel down in front of him so you’re the same height. “Baby, the reason why I was so upset wasn’t because you forgot. We all forget. I was scared you found someone else while you were off being a famous rockstar. I was here and you were there and I thought you forgot because you didn’t love me anymore. I was pissed at you for that.”

Dean sets the rose and ring down to grab your hands.

“Sweetheart, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I wouldn’t be me without you. No one can ever replace you.”

“Are you sure?” you whisper.

“I wouldn’t cancel a show for just anyone,” Dean laughs.

“You canceled a show for me? What about your fans?”

“My fans wouldn’t be my fans without you by my side. You’re the one who pushed me into playing. I owe everything to you.” You lean in and kiss him on his full lips, enjoying that you can do this after so long of being apart. He pulls away and rests his forehead on yours. “So, that’s a no on the proposal?”

“Ask me again tomorrow,” you whisper and kiss him again.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[cpunkwitch]

Hey let's talk about the punk genre, what punk stands for, what the punk genre really is and what it actually means to be punk

Because so many people are completely misunderstanding the punk subcultures of to-yester-day that people are just simply considering them aesthetics and alternative life styles when it's so much more complicated then that and leads to people spreading misinformation like "cpunk is for ALL disabilities and not exclusive what so ever"

Note: I realize during my talk I mention punk subgenre when really I'm talking about punk subcultures, please keep this in mind while you read! Thank you!

For starters; the term punk, first used in the late 1500's at the earliest to refer to prostitutes, was popularized in the mid 1900's when in 1971 a rock journalist (Greg Shaw) used the term to describe The Guess Who's music.

What became as a synonym for "hoodlum" or "ruffian" got adopted in the 70's by rock bands like Sex Pistols as a form of rebelling against how "commercial" rock'n'roll music had become in the 60's and to continue the counterculture movements from that previous decade.

Overtime the word and therein punk culture gained the association of rebellion and community built on common ground against a certain thing or towards a common objective (such as being against record labels restricting musicians, wanting accessibility for certain people and fairness for people regardless of class and wealth status etc).

People who would attend the "punk rock" concerts would show up in the work out clothing they had and whatever they could afford at the time, second hand clothing, ripped jeans, worn out leather jackets, and thus earned themselves getting called "punks" or "punk rockers" for their "inappropriate/poor dress" and the controversial bands they would listen to

This carried over to that sort of dress becoming an alternative style commonly worn by those who liked rock and metal bands and this monopolized upon by capitalism (the exact thing punk rockers were against to begin with, as most rock bands at the time were literal garage bands)

And this evolved to the reason elderly would yell at teenagers calling them punks and what the punk genre has become today.

As for what it means to be punk, it can vary from person to person and subgenre to subgenre, more specifically it varies from person within subgenre to person within another subgenre.

Punk rockers might define being punk as in going against the dress codes and such that restrict you from self expression, allowing people to attend concerts without have to pay ridiculous amounts of money, being anti-capitalist etc

Whereas cpunk or as we call ourselves "cripple" punks (as is what the c in cpunk stands for) it is clearly defined by the coiner of our community who is no longer with us, taking back the slur cripple for ourselves, fighting for accessibility and having a sense of community at all for physically disabled folk. Some have even said the most punk thing we can do is survive the day living authentically in a world that's literally built against us deformed and physically disabled folk.

To be punk can mean plenty of different things but most commonly it's to fight for equality, to be ourselves, to be seen. It's to go against the rules and authority that want you to conform to their ideals, and plenty of other similar beliefs.

Punk folk have always been labeled as such because of how we are treated for how we look, act, what we listen to and believe, and in general for how we stand out.

Punk fashion started as a DIY, punk music was always about anti-authority and anti-capitalist views, punk as a genre has always been about individuality in community and things many corporations hated.

It's always been more complex than just wearing a leather jacket with an edgy patch and spiked or coloured hair while listening to a band with heavy guitar. It will always be more than an aesthetic or life style.

Why bring this up?

Because these past few years a lot of punk's history have gotten ignored, stepped under the rug and misunderstood.

There's been people forcing themselves into spaces like able bodied people trying to claim to be cpunk when the community isn't for them.

There's been people gatekeeping punk in completely misinformed ways, when to be punk is that you don't fit in a box at all (hence the non conformity)

And there's just been non stop misinformation all together.

Punk is pro-sex workers. Punk is anti conformity. Punk is pro equity. And punk is not for those who harass others and insult them for any reason, regardless of how much you disagree with them.

Regardless of how you define punk, the most important thing is that you listen to voices of others. Don't disregard them like people have done to us all this time.

Thank you so much for letting me ramble off I hope this post has been helpful!

I also apologize for the lack of ids.

[guppybibi]

hii !! can you do akito (shinonome) with a gf who’s OBSESSED with another group? i just thought of this and found it funny

he’s always like “why don’t we go to your place” and reader is like oh no it’s ok haha!! because it’s kind of embarrassing but there’s so much merch it’s impossible to take down

and one day he convinces you to let him stay over and boom. posters everywhere. cds everywhere. binders full of photocards. a whole shelf of albums just sitting there. don’t forget the dvds and polaroids! bonus points if you forgot to turn off your cd player when you answered the door so it’s blasting said group’s music as well 💀

( ++ doesn’t have to be any group in particular but i’m heavy in my enhypen phase right now, so maybe them? that’d make it even more nerdy but 😭 )

𖦹 pairing: Akito Shinonome x fem!reader

𖦹 content: Confused Akito, fluff, kpop stuff, idk..

𖦹 notes: aaaa i love this idea, tysm! for the group i chose enhypen as well but also stray kids because you can never stan too many groups ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ (i had the biggest stray kids phase lollzz, plus idk much abt enhypen:c sorrie) also wrote half of this at school wowie

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*⋆*･ﾟ⋆*･ﾟ

-Just..so confused?? He doesn't get the thing about collecting photo cards and the terms fans use so you have to explain it to him.

-Once he gets it though he's just mildly concerned, for your sanity and wallet. He does commend your dedication and loyalty to these groups though (silently hopes you do the same with him.) 

-Occasionally asks you if VBS had merch would you buy some, his reaction would vary on your answer. -

-If you say no he’ll just say ‘uh huh’ and walk away. (pancakes are the solution, TRUST.) + he's just playing around, he isn't mad. 

-If you say yes he’ll just smirk smugly and try to talk everyone into making merch. (he fails)

He’s so confused right now, he just doesn't get what's the big deal about it. The ginger knew you absolutely loved these so called K-POP groups and he didn't mind at all, not a tiny bit. To be fair, he was somewhat an idol as well. A street musician to be exact but that was close enough. 

And today was another added episode to the collection of you not letting him go to your home, what exactly were you hiding from him? He stood before you, in all his glory, a skeptical look on his face. “C'mon doll..is yer room messy or somethin’? I’m sure it can't be that bad, trust me–I’ve seen worse.” He said in an attempt to reassure you, intently watching how your lips pressed into a thin line and your eyes darted across the park you two were at. “L..-look! A bunch of people are doing cool skating tricks!” You exclaim, pointing to a bunch of randos doing flips or whatever. Distracting him was worth the shot, no guarantees it’ll work though. 

He almost facepalms himself when he hears your shitty attempt at diverting his attention elsewhere. “Doll I’m not the smartest but I'm not that dumb..” It was honestly offensive that you thought that would work..You couldn't keep hiding forever, you two wouldn't progress if you didn't allow him to do something so simple as coming into your home. And as he said, he's somewhat of an ‘idol’ as well so he probably wouldn't find it too weird. Yeah, think positive! He won't think you're some kind of koreaboo or anything!

“Right..I guess you could come over to my place. But on one condition..” She starts. “Don't find it weird..?” He chuckles in response, shaking his head. “No promises.” 

And that's how he ended up in this rather strange position, sitting on your cozy bed as the posters on your walls stared down at him. “Wow..this is um..a lot.” His mouth formed a crooked smile, glancing at the shelf filled with albums. Where you got the money for all of this was a mystery to him. “So..who are they?” He asks, flopping back onto your bed, full of a bunch of stuffed animals. Your eyes start to sparkle, this was your time to shine, well rather to rant about your unhealthy obsession with these KPOP groups but let's not talk about that right now. 

After your rather lengthy explanation about every basic thing he needs to know, the expression on his gruff face seems unreadable. Was he angry or somehow jealous about it? Or was he simply just not interested in it? That might've been the case, but not right now at least. “Mmh..alright.” He sounded way too casual about it for comfort if you’re being honest. But if he was held captive and needed to be honest, extra–I know, he found this..mildly concerning addiction of yours quite endearing. It’s not like it would cause problems along the way, unless you spent all of your money on merchandise and went broke but he has enough trust in you not to do that..don’t break that by buying some lightstick that costs more than your kidney. 

[knomis4u]

** Still adding things 🤣*

~ Music AU ~

Now wishing for a fanfic where Harry travels back in time and becomes a classical magic musician, having learned music after the war to cope with the trauma. He meets Tom in some gala, and Tom wants Harry to play music for him.

Tom most likely will hear him play at the Malfoy mansion. At an exclusive event. Malfoy trying to help his lord establish himself more or what have you.

More on this, the music that Harry learns is a combination of healing music and entertainment. Wanting to help himself and others over what happened after the 2nd world war. Help to try to live again. He learns a variety of instruments. In the new time he keeps to himself and composes and teaches children. Not wanting to be involved in any politics or conflicts. So his performances are hard to book and very exclusive just for the sole purpose of raising money for his orphan kids.

He would teach orphan children, muggles, and magical children. Also, he would help fund the orphan kids. Give them the needs that some never got. Damn it, he would build a place for them a home. So no one ever experiences the feeling of not belonging like he did when he was forced to go back to the Dursleys every summer. Magical kids who are rejected or abandoned would have somewhere to go. He would use all the money he would earn on his music records, private sessions, ect, to make this happen.

Also, he would hire elves to help take care of his orphan kids.

This is getting away from me. Harry turns the elder wand into a bow for violin. Also, with the amount of magic he has, he can play more than one instrument at once.

Harry would have a violin that Draco made for him as a thank you for helping him with his trauma. And once Tom finds out that Violin comes from another man, he will burn it. 😌 Petty Tom.

Oh my god, what if he uses the resurrection stone to ask spirits to play music with him?! 🥺 I wonder if he can do that? Though Harry asking a bunch of different musician ghosts to come and play with him from different countries who go about insulting the other musician ghosts would be hilarious.

Also, Tom has to fight a bunch of magical little orphans for Harry's attention.

Also, Harry whistling modern songs amuses me.

The electric guitar was invented in 1931. The world of possibilities 😍

I'm not saying Harry won't be playing the One-Winged Angel Advent Children version, but the possibility is high.

Also, the song "Epistle" from Yoko Kanno would be a high possibility of the music he would play to those fancy pure bloods. All the soft music would be for the kids. 🥹

*Heavily inspired by all the background music of the Escaflowne soundtrack, plus a million other background songs 🤣*

[iclarye]

#RECORD STORE+!

Alice in Borderland characters meeting you for the first time in a record store and both of you share the same taste (headcanons)

# — ARISU!

⇢ You noticed him choosing up a record from one of your favorite bands.

⇢ Probably isnt a famous band that everyone knows

⇢ When you called his attention, he became extremely nervous and couldn't form a coherent sentence.

⇢ He was overjoyed to see someone who appreciates the music he likes.

⇢ You told him how you discovered about the band.

⇢ He'd say it was Karube who introduced him, and then be mixed up since you have no idea who he is.

⇢ Likely would overshare that he plays his games while listening to the band music.

⇢ He would listen to you with a shy smile on his face

⇢ After a few minutes, you would split up to better explore the store.

⇢ Would cross paths on the way to the cash register and smile at each other.

⇢ He would ask the seller to give you a note that was handwritten by him.

⇢ “Hi, my name is Arisu, and I really enjoyed talking to you. Please give me a call at (xx) xxxx-xxxx (sorry I didn't know how to ask for your number)”

# — USAGI!

⇢ You caught her looking at one of your favorite albums, and she noticed.

⇢ She became concerned because she assumed you were familiar with her from her father's newspapers.

⇢ She relaxed and walked over to you as you smiled and pointed to the vinyl in her hand.

⇢ "This is her best album in my opinion! What’s yours?”

⇢ She confessed that she didn't have many friends with whom to discuss her musical tastes.

⇢ You two would walk throughout the store while conversing over the music.

⇢ When she realizes she may be talking too much, she blushes, but you can get her to talk again by asking what other artists she enjoys.

⇢ You’l probably lie and say you don't know who those artists are just to see her smile as she talks.

⇢ As you wait in line to pay, she lets you pass in front of her.

⇢ Together, you exit the store and follow one another down the sidewalk.

# — CHISHIYA!

⇢ He is so silent and unnoticeable that it is likely you were unaware of his presence.

⇢ He would have likely caught your attention while you were holding a record and searching for a particular album.

⇢ “You should probably buy the deluxe version of this record, I suggest.“

⇢ It'd get annoying because you'd know precisely why you're purchasing it, but you'd recognize that he doesn't.

⇢ You would answer in a passive aggressive tone that you are a collector, and he would be intrigued since you are one of the first people he has met who likes the unknown band.

⇢ You likely believe he didn't hear you and just doesn't have anything to do with you.

⇢ But he reacts by telling you his thoughts on the differences between the two editions of the albums and how satisfied he is that someone else gets to share having a good tastes.

⇢ Your conversation would be short and simple, and you would soon part ways.

⇢ You'd go to the register later and find out that he'd paid for your products (after all, he is a doctor and has a lot of money)

⇢ Plus, two weeks later, you'd cross paths on a busy street and look at each other.

# — ANN!

⇢ As soon as you enter the store, you'd be aware of this woman's presence.

⇢ You want to avoid showing up at the same session as her since she is so reserved and confident, but it's impossible because the vinyl you want is already there.

⇢ You would pick it up to look at another record by a musician you like only then to quickly realize that the item you were looking for was not there.

⇢ "You should take this one, just so you know, the cover on this one is damaged and scratched."

⇢ You would grab the item out of her hands and then explain that you already owned it and were seeking for another record by the performer to add to your collection.

⇢ She'd probably just say she collects as well, and you'd try to ask what her favorite songs are.

⇢ She would be closed off with precise and brief responses, never looking into your eyes and always focused on something else.

⇢ But when you happen to stumble over words, she would listen to you carefully and smile.

⇢ You would part ways without swapping names or any other information.

⇢ However, you'd meet again the very next week at the same store, and she'd hand you the vinyl you're seeking for.

# — KUINA!

⇢ Her familiarity with the location of the albums and others products comes from her regular visits to the business.

⇢ As a result, she helps you in searching for vinyl when you are having trouble finding a particular piece.

⇢ She became excited when she realized that it was the record of her favorite singer and she began talking to you.

⇢ She most likely talks a lot, and all you do is smile and nod in agreement.

⇢ However, if you spoke, she would listen attentively.

⇢ With your arms crossed, the two of you would circle the shop as she pointed out what was located where and which employees she personally prefer.

⇢ Because she asked, you likely would list the singer's top albums.

⇢ If you had a differing view, she would be horrified, but she would also laugh with you about it.

⇢ Surely, this girl will flirt to you.

⇢ She would most likely kindly ask your phone number in order to talk about the singer and your thoughts.

⇢ When you pick up the purchase and pay, she would request a special discount for you.

⇢ Message: Hello there, its Kuina from the store, are u free for a coffee tomorrow?

# — NIRAGI!

⇢ He likely became aware of your presence as you approached a vinyl display of the singer he enjoys that was displayed on the wall.

⇢ As soon as you picked up the album, he would laugh sarcastically.

⇢ "I don't think you're bright enough to understand a singer like him"

⇢ His rude statements to someone he has never met in person and his tone of voice would undoubtedly annoy you.

⇢ He would approach you only to pick up another Vinyl record and declare that it was greater, but you could never hear any of it.

⇢ You would become angry and start yelling at him about which Disc was the best and how you had the same interest in music.

⇢ Most likely, you two would be the center of attention for all of the other customers in the shop.

⇢ Within a few minutes, there would already be a lot of noise, and employees would be debating whether it was best to disrupt or ignore.

⇢ He would pause his speech to look at you coldly before smiling sarcastically and walking away.

⇢ And you would become even furious.

⇢ Weeks later, you would most likely meet up at another business.

⇢ "Look if it's not the one who has no taste for anything"

© HTTPSCLARYE, 2023

[thesensteawitch]

Pick A Pile Reading

A Message Meant To Reach You!🕊️

(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hey, Senstea Souls!

I am back with another collective reading. It's a general reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Feel free to DM me in case of any queries. Bookings are open!

Pile 1

Animal Spirit- Sea Serpent

Tarot Cards- The Chariot, Judgement, Queen of Wands, Seven of Swords, The World, Two of Wands

Did you take a wrong turn in life, pile 1? Or a dangerous road. A road that was all about our darkest of desires and you were meant to rescue something good that was stuck in a loophole. Your cards are very positive but I sense that someone stole something from you and it weakened your ability to communicate your truth. But the good thing is that the Universe wants you to know that soon you'll enter into the phase of rebirth. You'll be freed. I feel you have been planning something for a very long time. You developed this plan based on many experiences you have had. There's an assurance that your plan is going to work. What you want is coming. You are soon going to complete a full circle. I hear, “Some mistakes get made that's alright that's okay, in the end, it's better for me that's the moral of the story babe.” The color blue is prominent in your reading. You may be seeing a lot of butterflies. A huge change is coming into your life. Something is finally ending. Perhaps your old self. The moment you tell you truth and you say what's there in your mind you'll see a page turning in your life. You'll soon come face to face with a traitor. It can be a thought or a real person. Communicate and the fog will be cleared. You are divinely protected, pile 1. You just need to have your desires in control and let your creativity flow freely. Soon you'll free yourself of all the judgements. Make sure you do not take a wrong turn. Stay on your path. I hope this helped. See you soon! If you want more clarity regarding this situation or any other feel free to check out my rate card and book your reading.

Important chakras: Throat and Sacral.

Pile 2

Animal spirit- Raccoon

Cards- Temperance, Four of Pentacles, Queen of Swords, The Fool, Queen of Wands, Judgement

Pile 2, you are going to be blessed in such a way that you won't be able to grab everything at once. You'll receive so much praise and abundance that they will overflow and others will be picking them up for you. If something especially a relationship was going downhill then know that resolution is coming. Have faith but keep your balance. Don't cheat. Don't pretend to have faith. Have patience. Don't be a cat who cannot help but run after a rat as soon she lays eyes on him. Your words hold power currently. You may observe that whatever you say will manifest itself. So make sure you think twice before saying anything. But at the same time use it for the best. Manifest with good intentions. Your affirmations are working if you have been affirming. Whatever is changing know that it's all you. You are bringing a change in your life. Some of you may be writing or speaking a lot lately or have the urge to do so. Some of you may even be musicians. Just don't be too stubborn about your art. Art is flexible. It can move in any direction as it gives you uncountable perceptions. Some of you may still be struggling with money. The push and pull between you and your art is coming to an end. Soon you'll see a clear picture. Trust the process and more importantly trust yourself. You may feel overwhelmed currently or in the coming days. Keep your emotional meter in check. Don't get it cracked up. I also see movement. Some of you may be moving houses. Stay true to your words, pile 2, and own your true self. I hope this helped. See you soon! If you want more clarity regarding this situation or any other feel free to check out my rate card and book your reading.

Pile 3

Animal Spirit- Cosmic Egg

Cards- Queen of Swords, Queen of Cups, Nine of Pentacles, King of Wands, 5 of Swords, Ten of Wands

Words mean a lot to you, pile 2. You know it because all day you are somehow surrounded by them. You feel that your words hold power. And they definitely do. I see a group of friends. Though honest, your words sometimes make people upset. You need to be very careful. I see that some of you are working on a project and perhaps 3 people were involved in it. You very well know the plan of action. What to do and what not to do. Your commands may feel threatening to others. That's why some people do not want you to boss them. But clearly, you deserve to be in charge. You can work alone pretty well though, just like a magician. You have all the knowledge to work by yourself and ace it. But you are so deeply hurt that the work now seems like too much to handle. As soon as you let go of bitter emotions you will be able to create what you were supposed to since the beginning. This journey will be alone and slow but it'll definitely bear fruits. Nine months from now you'll be grateful that you did it alone. It's between you and the universe now. Universe will take care of the rest for you. It cares for you as much as it does for those who believe in it. Don't underestimate yourself pile 3. Within a few months, you are going to be blessed with abundance. You'll achieve your goals and it will all be self-made. Put your work aside for a while and take a break. Release the negative emotions or grudges you hold. And then begin again. You'll ace whatever you were working on. I sense strong air and fire sign energy. Don't unnecessarily make your working space crowded when you have the capability to make things work on your own. I hear, “I am not gonna make it alone.” You are not alone, pile 3. We meet so many people in this lifetime. You'll find the perfect match for you too. Till then know that you aren't alone. You never were. I read a quote, “We are carried. In bellies. In arms. In love. In hope. In caskets. In urns. In grief. In memories. Our whole lives and into the next. We are carried.” I hope this helped. See you soon! If you want more clarity regarding this situation or any other feel free to check out my rate card and book your reading.

[whoblewboobear]

In honor of iwtv!Rockstar Lestat I’m thinking about Rockstar Jace who takes a (honestly concerning) amount of interest in his new roadie/sound equipment manager Porter. After coming down from a month(s) long bender Jace is finally coherent enough to notice Porter during soundcheck. So he starts serenading him and getting super touchy feel-y. Porter kinda brushes it off, he’s toured with enough musicians to know they’re a special breed, ESPECIALLY the rockstars. But he’s a professional he would never-

That same night Jace is riding him in his dressing room and he does a bump of coke out of the dip of Porter’s clavicle and honestly? It shouldn’t be as hot as it is. Jace being this fucked up also shouldn’t be this hot either and Porter is spiraling a bit but Jace is so tight and so fucking batshit the entire night and Porter really cant resist fucking him 2(-4) more times that night. Next day, Jace goes on a little mission to bug Porter before his show and Porter is just so flustered. He’s trying so hard to do his job and make sure everything goes smoothly. He’s like “Mr. Stardiamond, we’re all working very hard to make sure you have a great show tonight so if you could just FUCK OFF for a moment that’d be great~” and Jace is like huh okay, no one but my manager Zara talks to me like this.. kinda a turn on. But he does as he’s told and fucks off until it’s time for the show. But he has plans for Porter. So many that involve throwing his money and drugs around and letting Porter put him in his place whenever he likes.

Once the tour wraps, he asks if Porter would like to help out while he records his album in his home studio because his last sound equipment manager didn’t make house calls (for reasons Jace doesn’t want to discuss. Maybe he’s done this before, no one needs to know he’s a walking HR nightmare, he’s a rockstar he can do what he wants.) Porter agrees because the pay is incredible and traveling is fun but it takes a lot out of him and honestly, the perks of him and a few of his industry friends helping Jace make another hit album seems like a fun gig. And maybe fucking Jace on every surface in his mansion is a very appealing idea. He can handle Stardiamond. He’s just like every other fucked up musician. But uh oh.. the more time he spends with Jace the more he realizes that he isn’t that bad. A fucking whirlwind, sure, but in the quiet moments when he’s writing songs at his piano or having a quiet smoke on the balcony or meticulously arranging audio and re-recording harmonies, Porter is so endeared with him. He didn’t start doing his job for nothing, he wanted to make music himself but never quite broke through. Jace is a wonder to him, he wanted to resent him for pissing away an opportunity.

But Jace cares about the music, he does. The drugs and the flashy clothes and the money are fun. Very fun, until they aren’t. When he’s not trying to numb himself to the fucking shithole the music industry is, he still has music to comfort him. He’s so meticulous and careful about what he puts out. Which his manager loves. She loves a lot about him but even Zara would admit there are days that she sees him and her heart just hurts because he’s so far from the Jace she grew up with and talked about their dreams with. All those late nights in college where they painstakingly put together his first ep going off nothing but Red Bull and sleep deprivation. She remembers the night they finally heard back from the label and she negotiated a contract that was less shitty and intrusive than what Jace would’ve signed had she not been there. She misses him and she does like how good of an influence Porter can be on him. She’s glad there’s someone else there that doesn’t enable him- not all the time anyway.

Porter’s glad Zara’s around when she can be because everyone else buzzing around Jace is a kiss up or an enabler, but not her. On the bad days, she’s the first one to show up for Jace when everyone else makes themselves scarce. Jace tries not to notice the minute people scatter when he’s not offering party favors or lavish nights out. When the dust settles it’s Zara and.. Porter. Much to his surprise. And he feels a little bad for how over the top he was with him. One night, Porter comes over when he’s putting the finishing touches on the melody of a song, really into it and lost in the way every key sounds together. When he finishes, Porter is clapping and maybe that’s the only applause he really cares about.