#And who at the complex is going to complain?

[pathologicalreid]

blowing smoke | s.r.

in which Spencer asks you out on a date, but you know better

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst content warnings: maeve and that fucking book. mutual pining but with avoidant reader. this fic lowkey could've been titled waiting room because reader knows it's for the better. word count: 1.96k a/n: hey does this thing still work? hello?

The hand hovering over the small of your back didn’t go unnoticed. In fact, you were hyperaware of every movement that Spencer made. Every hitched breath, each time he shifted his weight, the way he guided you through the halls put you on edge. He herded you through your apartment complex as if it were a maze he’d scrawled on the back of his hand.

His apartment was in the opposite direction of yours, but he still offered to take the red line with you, citing a need to make sure you got home safely. “Did you have a good time tonight?” He asked, his voice breaching the painful silence that had coagulated between you, his hand remained above your back, skimming the fabric of your jean jacket as you stepped onto the elevator together, trapping you in a metal box together.

You nodded once, keeping your eyes focused on the muddled reflection of the two of you in the elevator door instead of looking back at him. “I can’t complain about good company,” you answered, curling your toes in your shoes, using the texture of your socks to stop yourself from abandoning your resolve.

Spencer hummed in response, “We should do it again sometime,” he told you, letting you get off of the elevator first before he trailed you to your front door.

“As long as Penelope’s around, I don’t think we’ll be in danger of losing team bonding nights.” Tonight had been dinner at a new restaurant in the district, a place that you’d never heard of but Garcia had found on social media. Of course, the restaurant served exclusively Italian cuisine, and Rossi—who you’d been sat next to—went around the table and explained what he’d change about everyone’s meals to make them more authentic.

He was quiet as you rummaged through your purse for your apartment key, zeroed in on the way you rifled through pens and chapsticks to find the right carabiner. “Oh,” he responded, following you into the apartment. “I meant maybe you and I could do something. Get dinner together sometime.”

You faltered, your hand resting on a hanger in your coat closet, “I think Penelope would take it personally if we started hanging out without her.”

“Bringing Penelope with us on a date might send people the wrong message,” Spencer countered, a soft chuckle carrying through his tone.

Closing the closet door, you waited until the latch clicked to turn around and face him, “Spencer,” you started, tilting your head to the side but refraining from moving any closer to him. “We can’t,” you stated plainly, shaking your head in disbelief—both at the fact that he was asking you out and at the fact that you were turning him down.

His golden-brown irises studied your face in abject disappointment; he searched your expression for the smallest sign that you were joking. Turning him down to mess with him only to quickly turn around and tell him you’d love to get dinner together. “Sure, we can, there’s no regulation that says two members of the BAU can’t be together. There won’t be as long as Rossi’s around.”

The corner of your mouth quirked up, “That’s not why.” You wracked your brain for a simple explanation. A little white lie would be easier than the messy truth, but every lie eventually circled back to the same thing—to the same person. You’d been so patient in waiting for this moment, living your life on the sidelines while you watched Spencer crush on coworkers and bartenders and waiting for the universe to put you on the same playing field.

Here he was, offering to pull you from the bench, but you weren’t interested. He shifted his weight from left to right, “Then why?”

Naming your issue would require bringing up a subject that had become taboo in the BAU. You found yourself wishing you still had your jean jacket on, the cold in your apartment brought on by freezing Spencer out, “Maeve.” Your one-word answer floated off of your tongue easily, a topic you had wanted to bring up since she died but had avoided for nearly a year now.

You found a spot on the floor and focused on it, desperately needing something to look at other than Spencer’s face as each stage of grief flashed across it. “I want to move on,” he assured you, “It’s time, don’t you think?”

A scoff escaped your throat before you had the chance to reel it in, “I don’t want to be a task to you. There’s no point in me being a checkbox on your therapist’s list.” It broke your heart to turn him down. It killed you to hurt him. It killed you to hurt the bright-eyed girl who fell in love with him on her first day on the job.

“You aren’t,” he insisted. “You wouldn’t be. I’m not doing this for anyone except for myself,” he took a determined step forward and you stumbled backward, and just like that, he had a final answer.

All of the words in the English language, and you couldn’t form a sentence that would concisely explain why you couldn’t go on a date with the love of your life. You shrugged helplessly, allowing yourself to look up at him, trying to unsee the haunted look in his eye that you’d grown accustomed to. It’d been there since the day she died, and you weren’t entirely sure he’d ever be rid of it. “You called her the most beautiful girl in the world,” you reminded him, unsure of why you chose this reason.

He frowned, the crease between his brows so endearing that you nearly forgot about the cracks forming around your heart. “What?”

Chewing on the inside of your lip, you considered your next words carefully, “That’s what you said to Blake, I heard you.”

Spencer looked pained, “She… I didn’t—”

“And you’d never seen her before,” you cut off his explanation. “You called her the most beautiful girl in the world without having any idea what she looked like,” you reminded him of the odd circumstances encircling his relationship with Maeve. Phone booth girl.

“She was my girlfriend,” he offered as if that was explanation enough. It wasn’t lost on you. People had a tendency to speak in hyperbole when they were in love, and despite his excessive rationality, Spencer was no exception.

Running your tongue over your molars, you hummed, “Look, all I know is that if you felt that way about someone you’d never laid eyes on, there’s no room for you to feel that way about me.” You weren’t trying to be brave or considerate, you were frantically trying to build a brick wall between you and Spencer that should’ve been erected years ago.

He shook his head, taking another step toward you, leaving you to back into the kitchen counter, “You don’t mean that.”

Tears started to line your eyes, silver wisps blurring the visage of everything you’ve ever wanted, “You have to understand, Spencer.” The determination in your voice slowly morphed into a plea. You found yourself begging him for mercy, “In my head, we’ve already dated, fallen in love, and broken up. I don’t need to relive that sequence of events.”

“You don’t think we even deserve a chance? Because of Maeve?” He continued to push, poking and prodding at you until you felt like you were going to break apart.

You couldn’t do it. You could no longer allow yourself the luxury of fantasizing about being with him while the skeleton in his closet was pushed up against the door, threatening to break it from its hinges. Your tears slipped down your cheeks, moving in a steady stream as your lips parted to respond, “Because you called her the most beautiful girl in the world, and I’ve been in front of you for eight years waiting for you to notice me.”

It wasn’t that you considered yourself a jealous person. At least, not in the sense that you were jealous of Maeve. You couldn’t be in a relationship where you were always cognizant of the fact that someone else always came first. In the past year, you’d seen the way her death followed Spencer’s every action firsthand, and you couldn’t let her haunt you too.

“Let’s say you mean this and want to be with me; I’ll never live up to her,” you explained yourself to him, hoping to fill the gaping wound in your chest with words that would never be able to repair the damage that was being done to you. “I will never be able to reach the standard that she set,” you told him.

Spencer held a hand up, trying to get you to stop speaking, “That’s not true.”

You waved it off, “Of course it is. Spencer, if not her, then someone else will always come first to you. I’d spend half of our relationship wondering if you’re being forthcoming in your feelings about me, and I refuse to use what’s left of my dignity to stand in front of you and beg for your love.”

“You won’t have to,” he insisted. “I have absolutely no intention of using you as some sort of placeholder.”

Spencer was always good with words. You’ve watched him bend truths and manipulate UnSubs into giving him exactly what he wants. That was what he was doing right now, as surely as you were holding a knife to your own throat, he was asking you to lay down your arms. He didn’t want to hear you out, everything you said to him went unprocessed by that beautiful brain of his, and a feeling of helplessness filled the void. “Do you still carry the book around with you?”

It was like you’d pressed a reset button, his demeanor completely changed when you brought up the book, “What?” He straightened up, pulling his shoulders back as he eyed you nervously.

“The Narrative of John Smith, is it in your bag right now?” You asked him. Spencer’s kinship with books was a trait that had previously fed your fantasy, but for the last year it had only ever been one book. You wanted to scream at him, to tell him off for having the audacity to ask you out while he had that book in his bag. As if the inscription didn’t imply that Spencer and Maeve were destined to be together.

Slowly, Spencer opened his bag, reaching in and pulling out the eerily familiar book. One-hundred and twenty pages of your precarious and unending heartbreak. There was a bookmark placed about halfway through, indicating he was in the middle of his umpteenth reread.

Something about it made you feel so pathetic that you weren’t sure if you wanted to laugh or cry. There was no escaping her, even now. You’d never be able to fully leave her in the past, there would always be the question of whether or not they’d be together had she not died.

Maybe he’d shelve the book someday. Maybe he’d read a book by your favorite author instead of clinging to Arthur Conan Doyle. Maybe he’d stop quoting E.E. Cummings on a daily basis. He just hadn’t reached that stage of grief yet, and part of you thought he’d remain in a permanent state of bargaining. You weren’t willing to be part of the bargain. You weren’t willing to be the one he defaults to just because you have a pulse.

Shaking your head, you walked around him and opened the front door, leaning against it and fidgeting with the deadbolt while you waited for him to get the message, “I can’t take being the last choice.”

"Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone; we find it with another." - Thomas Merton

[sarahcmarie]

The batboys are REALLY good at makeup due to the fact that they have to do things like cover bruises from patrol and undercover work and all the teams learn this at some point all in different ways but although their night jobs helped them hone their make up skills that doesn’t mean that’s where they learned it from

teen titans

Dick was in the circus he helped clowns and performers do their make up which lead to him being very good at make up at a very young age especially make up that looked good in bright unflattering light or in pictures

Dick was hanging out with everyone at titans tower and Wally and Roy get into an argument over who would be a prettier girl it gets to the point where they are ready to throw hands so dick just decides the best way to settle the argument is by TURNING them in to girls so he puts some of his super high quality wigs on them and does they’re makeup and everyone votes (i will let you decide who wins) but afterwards Donna asks where he got the stuff…. Dick is now the go to for all the girls when they need their makeup done

Young justice

Tim is a socialite He had to learn at a very young age how to use makeup and how to make it look natural for galas and such eventually he learned how to do very impressive and complex makeup looks although he never wore heavy makeup in public he did in private

The core four was chilling in the living room when Cassie says she want to do barts makeup but Kon said he wanted his makeup done too Cassie told him to wait until she Finished barts but Kon starts complaining and huffing after about 5 minutes while Tim was trying to get his report done but couldn’t focus with kons complaining so he walks up and grabs him by the ear and drags him to the couch and starts putting makeup on kon some time later when Tim is finished Cassie and Bart look over at Kon and gasp Kon thinks Tim did badly and is prepping to make fun of tim for it but looks into the mirror and realizes he looks Gorgeous (even more than usual) later when they start dating Tim does kons makeup before galas

The outlaws

Jason Todd loved his mom very much even with all her flaws that was his mom and his mother loved him too but do to her addiction she often looked sickly but after Jason’s dad died they needed to find a way to make money nobody hired Catherine because they only saw an addict Jason learned how to do makeup so that she would look presentable for interviews and it worked and so Jason did his mothers makeup every morning up until she died

Artemis Needed her makeup done for a undercover mission at a gala but she doesn’t wear makeup often especially not glam makeup so she wasn’t sure where to start Jason said he would do it and although Artemis was reluctant and insulted Jason many times she allowed him to as she didn’t have much of a choice due to her lack of experience in the makeup department after Jason was finished she found that Jason had made her gorgeous yet unrecognizable (which worked fine given it was an undercover mission)

The super sons

Damian was a child in the league more so he was the heir to the demons head so they trained him harder than most other league members as he needed to be the best if he was going to lead the league of assassins which ment training till his Knuckles were bleeding his bones were broken and he was passing out from exhaustion but fighting wasn’t the only thing they trained him in they taught him history and languages and and anything he could possibly need to know to one day succeed in his position as the demons head although he had many classes his favorite was learning how to use makeup both for disguise manipulation and distraction the reason it was his favorite was because his mother taught him personally Ra’s Al ghul although didnt approve of teaching him to use makeup allowed it because although he may have been a bad person he was not a bad grandfather and he saw how much Damian enjoyed it and Talia loved teaching Damian personally even if she didn’t have time to teach him all of his lessons she made Time to teach him this one

Jon noticed a boy in his class who wore makeup everyday and Jon thought it was sooo cool and told him all the time how awsome his makeup looked one day he found the same boy crying in the stairwell with his makeup smudged when Jon asked what was wrong the boy told Jon that kids were bullying him for his makeup that they said makeup was for girls and started calling him names which included multiple slurs Jon was livid Jon didnt get angry often but he was now how could anyone not see how complex and impressive the boys makeup was? After school Jon flew straight to Damian’s house because he was angry and really needed to tell someone about it after hearing what happened Damian who after seeing some pictures of the boys makeup was just as angry as Jon after all Damian saw how impressive the boys makeup was so they came up with a plan… the next day Jon had on a full face of makeup that included glitter and rhinestones and bright red lipstick courtesy of damian and his makeup skill Jon also got made fun of except Damian had already coached Jon on exactly what to say the bully’s ended up in tears Jon ended up in the principals office but both jon and Damian both believed it was worth it After hearing what happened although Lois and Clark lectured them on how to properly handle it next time they also got an extra scoop of ice cream at dessert  

[aurum-stultus]

!! Emergency Commissions Open !!

(Or you can check out my Etsy) !! Please share !! I have a long history on this account of me going back and forth with my awful workplace, from my old terrible manager who psuedo-fired me and then got fired himself, me getting "hired back" and then getting promoted to 2 positions, and now months later the same workplace demoted me from my supervisor position, for reasons I actively complained about and asked them for assistance over.

They kept my pay where it was since I had another promotion there (That I never actually got a pay raise for) but my other position as their mechanic was becoming super difficult because our building was just fundamentally broken and I was still in training and the guy training me only came in on Sundays so half of our building would be out of commission for an entire week.. and then when he tried to train me, 5 minute sessions would become 2 hour sessions because the building was so broken. I couldn't keep up with the maintenance and every time I came up with a solution, the mech team who didn't even work at my location and didn't see the issues, would tell me to fix it differently, then when I did what they told me to and it didn't work, they blamed me for their screw up.

My manager said I would get to keep my pay if I stepped down from my mech position, so I did. Everything was fine up until corporate realized our building was losing money and decided to cut my pay and said it was because I stepped down from mech. A job I still never got a pay raise for and constantly asked when I WOULD be getting a raise for. I fought this for weeks and even contacted HR.. only for the woman from HR to call me and put me on speaker with THE MAN WHO DEMOTED ME to figure out my problem. I chewed her out for this, told her I didn't trust her and that that was extremely inappropriate and unprofessional and her only response, with him still in the room, was "Well is he the problem? Do you want him to leave?" So right after he found out I went to HR to complain about him, bc of HR, he kept fighting even harder to cut my pay. I kept refusing to sign the wage decrease form until I had enough for rent, then put in my two weeks. They retaliated to my two weeks notice by only giving me two work days for my last two weeks, so my next paycheck will be maybe $50 at best. (I tried to ask for PTO for the hours they took from me, but my entire time working there, every time I asked about my PTO they would tell me they'd get back to me and then never did. For a year. Every single time I asked) I have an interview on the 29th and two other buildings on the strip from my old workplace want to hire me but I have to wait on both of them to get back to me and I have no idea how long that will be and need something to at least hold me over enough to pay for groceries or pay back the credit I use for gas before I get charged fees with money I don't have. Plus I only have money for this month's rent, so I'm really hoping someone gets back to me within February. Comm info:

Icons are $10, busts are $14, full-bodies are $30 <- may go up or down based complexity or whether or not I've drawn the subject before (like mechanical or furries) Prices go up by half the original price for extra characters ($5 for icon, $7 for bust, $15 for full-body) and I take PayPal, Venmo and Cashapp

WILLING TO DO ANYTHING EXCEPT PROSHIP OR FERAL !! Can do NSFW but only if I get confirmation that the buyer is over 18

[oculusxcaro]

Khare had not experienced fear like this since her time in the underground facility almost a year ago, her heart damn near stopping in terror at the sound of her door getting kicked in. She'd just gotten home from work not even an hour ago, getting ready to soak in the bath for a few hour's sleep when a pair of black-clad thugs with mean faces and even meaner eyes suddenly forced their way into her apartment, immediately grabbing and trashing every object within the vicinity. "Get out! Go on, all of you get out of here! Go!" Loud voices could be heard echoing throughout the complex amidst shouts, cries and yells as other tenants found themselves experiencing the same situation as Khare, looking on in horror as they were forcibly turfed out of the only place they could call home. Khare blinked slowly, struggling to comprehend exactly what was happening when one of the two men in her apartment growled, grabbing her by her good arm and dragging her out into the corridor. She thrashed, mind suddenly suddenly catching up to the very real awful situation she had suddenly found herself in but before she could bite the guy manhandling her, he had already gotten her to the stairs, pushing her down them without so much as a word. A 3DS soon followed after, her 3DS clattering wildly down the steps along with other objects and items of clothing, leaving Khare unable to do anything but whimper as she tried to grab what she could amidst the confusion. Other people's possessions soon joined the growing heap at the bottom of the stairs, tenants grabbing anything and everything they could even if it wasn't theirs, too afraid to stay even a minute longer as the thugs began screaming at them to get the fuck out now, or else bullets would start flying if any of them were so much as seen near the building. With shaking hands, Khare managed to grab her work uniform (still dirty from last night's shift), her broken 3DS, some odds and ends that weren't hers and a bag to put it all in. It was a miracle she'd even managed to grab that much, scrambling amidst a surge of grabbing hands fighting to grab whatever they could carry upon their impromptu eviction. "Now get the fuck out! This place is under new management and you lot ain't welcome!" One of the thugs sneered, kicking an old threadbare teddy down to the group. Khare recognized the bear - it was often carried around by the girl of the family living down from her, probably having already been kicked out. She went to pick it up, only just managing to grab it before a heavy boot stomped on where it had been just second agos. Narrowly dodging that same boot aiming a kick at her head, Khare quickly joined the throng, once again falling down the steps outside and getting tripped over a few times by other people. What the hell had just happened? Khare found she could breathe again, if somewhat raggedly from the stress of everything that had just happened and getting trod on once or twice. Shaken, battered and bruises, she scrambled to her feet, holding both bag and bear close while avoiding the glances of people at their windows watching the eviction go down. Khare couldn't see the nice family with the little girl anywhere, glancing back and forth at people, the people she'd once lived amongst until just yesterday hurrying to leave, now having to find somewhere else to live...

"Oh God..." Khare mumbled, feeling like she was about to pass out. Her initial fear had been that they'd found her, had come back to drag her back to the facility again but in another way this was almost worse, for she had found herself out on the streets once again with nowhere to go. Where was she going to go now?

[queenhawke]

"if grimpop was slash everyone would ship it" and if my grandmother had wheels she would've been a bike. like yeah dawg, it's almost as if there is a lot of cultural baggage that comes with older men/younger women ships that does not exist for gay relationships and that might be one of the reasons people aren't into it romantically

[crittertalez]

ik most of the wc fandom seems to hate how jayclaw talked to frostpaw/dawn while she was in her coma but honestly i just cant see it as anything but comforting or at the very least not as outrageous as others see it being. like im sorry but i cant look at this

and go auuuugghhh how dare jayclaw tell his dying daughter she doesnt need to live for other people and it should be her choice what she wants to do and she should choose what makes her happy. do i like the idea of frostdawn having given up and died? not exactly? but with how this scene transitions into tree busting in to be like NO YOU HAVE TO STAY ALIVE BECAUSE THE FATE OF YOUR COUNTRY LIES SOLELY ON YOU i honestly think jayclaw is being way kinder here by telling her no you deserve to be happy youre allowed to do whatever you want

the *best* option here is that jayclaw or someone else tells frostdawn that if she chooses to live it should be for herself and not for anyone else. but no one tells her that! no one! frostdawn is what, just over 1 year old? shes barely an adult (in cat ages, 1 year = 15 human years, ~18 months is when they get into their 20s and by 2 years theyre actually an adult and not a junior. at 15 months like frostdawn shes like a high school graduate) and yes she should get to live! but not because her country Needs her. and between the way shes treated by the other riverclan cats and how jayclaw treats her here ill take "father in the afterlife gently reassures his dying child that she'll be okay and deserves to choose what will make her happy and what will make sure she suffers the least" over "grown ass adults tell this teenager that she Needs to save her country and everyone she loves will die if she's not there to talk to God for them"

[tremendously-crazy]

"i'm sorry i committed the crime of being born this way," says michael, fourteen year old cisgender heterosexual male after a teenage girl says she'd pick the bear

[cartoonchaos]

“gee i wonder why there’s still so much more fanfiction about male characters” “we need more morally complex female characters” “i love relationships that are doomed by the narrative” “more stories need to treat mentally ill characters with compassion and respect” “all his problems could’ve been fixed if he only went to therapy” you fuckers can’t even handle the ending of fionna and cake

[hauntingblue]

Oden's prophecy of young pirates coming to save wano becoming yamato's hope for his freedom.... and him becoming oden because of it.... it's just so good... on the other side luffy taking ace's spot for liberating yamato... I think I hauve covid

[juniperhillpatient]

sometimes you just gotta stop reading the blocks of text on here & say like. I don’t care about or understand or believe in whatever the fuck you’re talking about & move on. & sometimes you gotta vague post about it to feel better

[kavehayati]

AAAH I have a mutual who’s 18 and he sorta kinda is flirting with this one guy who is a minor as a joke of course ( to which a concerned anon said that it’s weird ) but I can’t help but flashback to er*s

[bitegore]

baru cormorant seems to me to be a series that suffers miserably for me having read machineries of empire first. unfortunately everything BC is doing strikes me as something MoE did better and more believably and with much a greater and more grounded eye for how systems, complex system interaction, and oppression like. work

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Theyre going to think I like canon and purely canon if I keep going on like this

[aeide-thea]

like, someone posted an article recently that was like 'i didn't like these books because the main characters were women who slept with women but weren't sufficiently enlightened about it for me as a queer woman to feel Represented,' and i just felt like. i bet i wouldn't enjoy those books either, judging from the reviewer's description! but faced with a review that's like 'these characters had attitudes i found unpleasant'—iirc a tendency to ironic detachment and internalized fatphobia respectively, which, to be clear, i expect i would also find unpleasant! but those are attitudes that plenty of real young women do have; are we arguing it's only acceptable to tell stories about the sort of people we'd personally want to befriend?—'so i didn't find their stories nourishing,' it's hard for me not to think, okay, fair enough, but—should 'nourishing' really be the definitive metric for art? should 'savory'? an author's job is, after all, to make art, not food…

[tautozhone]

idk how to start this so this post is ab individual action, trying to motivate positive change in the world, etc etc

a lot of growing up in the US for me makes things feel more scary than they are. like it’s actually not that difficult to go out of your way to get a bottle of water or iced cup of water from some random drive through if you think you should do it. either fast food conglomerate or local actually, it’ll usually be cheaper than 5 dollars to get drinkable water. i try to have 5-10 dollars i can justify spending on water, and asking for change, because sometimes when i’m out driving i need to go grab water.

i do not do this for me as much as i try to do it specifically when i see someone who’s most likely homeless on a street corner. i’m sure one day i might do this and they might not be there when i come back, but what have i lost really? a bit of time and a bit of money that would’ve meant more to them, that i can hold onto until i see them next.

the pressure that a lot of people feel when they think “what can i do” comes from this grand narrative that the average citizen can singlehandedly fix the housing crisis. rich people? maybe. nonprofits? not in a day, not all one person still. what can i do is a question i ask a lot. what can i do, not just because it feels bad to move along like nothings wrong with the world, but what can i do that will do anything. what can i do that makes even the smallest change.

i feel like it took me too long to figure out a personal method to what i consider individual action. it’s taking time to get to my own financial stability to be able to do more. but for now it’s as simple as water and cash. not water and food, but water and cash.

individual action means a lot in small steps, go get a bottle of water bare minimum and the price of a meal if you can and then just give it to them. if it wasn’t such a miserably hot place where i live i would keep a pack of water in my car, which i still want to do for the sake of having immediate access to water to give someone who might need it- hot or cold sometimes won’t matter. but when it’s hot out, get cold water, if it’s cold out, a warm tea will hydrate more than coffee will as long as it’s not super caffeinated.

[khal-eventing]

Netflix ATLA has been renewed for season two and season three and I cannot be more excited! The way they're retelling the story is absolutely brilliant, and there's so much love being poured into the story.

Ofc it's also very satisfying seeing this happen despite all the hate from people- if you want to watch the original go fricken watch it. No one is forcing you to go watch the live action just so you can write a lengthy post about how it pales in comparison (when I honestly liked it better but comparing the two is like comparing apples and oranges, they're both spectacular in their own way).

Anyway thank god it got renewed and I am so excited to be in this world again and see how it's developed for a new generation.