#& only ever simps over male characters

[juniperhillpatient]

sometimes you just gotta stop reading the blocks of text on here & say like. I don’t care about or understand or believe in whatever the fuck you’re talking about & move on. & sometimes you gotta vague post about it to feel better

[princessefemmelesbian]

Just saw this on Quora and wtf:

I may not like Madoka Magica(and in fact anyone who follows me for long enough will know that I hate that anime with a burning passion), but even so that still doesn't make comments like this okay.

I am so tired of people acting like lesbianism(and non-straight identities in general but in this case we're talking about lesbians) is inherently sexual, deviant, and inappropriate. These are the same type of people who think that kids can't be gay or even be told about the possibility of homosexuality because it will groom their young minds or something, as if being gay is something you're groomed into being. And I am sick of people acting like a character can't be gay/lesbian because it doesn't fit their personality or because they're a child or because they're "innocent" or some stupid-ass shit like you're just reinforcing the idea that straight is the default and that straight is morally more pure and "normal" and acceptable than being gay. I bet Larry Koopa doesn't care if a kid the same age as or younger than Madoka(who is 14) is portrayed as straight, because to them that's not inherently sexual the way that being gay is. But a kid being gay? Now don't you think that's going a little bit too far?

This person definitely thinks that all lesbians are mean and hateful and bitter, probably because they measure a woman's level of decency in accordance to how attracted to men they are(which is how we got that ugly fucking "mean bisexual, even meaner lesbian" joke in the first place).

I agree with Peyton Peyons. Madoka is a lesbian, end of story, and nobody gives a shit whether you want to call her your waifu or not, because she doesn't even know you exist. Get out of her, dawg.

[tra1nchi]

🌙anon!!

Ur sweet boyfriend gets jealous after you simp over a game character. He later fucks u silly out of jealousy <3 he's very harsh and rough but acts like it's not much and just keeps giving u more and more (rough, overstim. Degradation, pet names with a sprinkle of praise)

Do it if u want I don't mind if u don't <3 love u and take care!!!

🌙<33

Luv u kitten <3 MINORS DNI!! Bttm male reader,,Rough s3x,,Overstimulation,,Degradation(?)

Jealousy was putting it lightly,,he should have never introduced you to that stupid game,,now it seems like your whole life revolves around a mash up of pixels instead of him!! You had all of the characters merch and even got a body pillow,,he didn't even get to cuddle with you!!

He was forced to lay against your back as you held the pillow tighter then you ever did him,,the charming smile that was plastered over your body pillow felt like it was mocking him!!

He couldn't help himself as his hands started to wander up your body!! Slippimg under your loose t shirt and subtly going down your shorts trying his hardest not to disturb your sleep!!

When you eventually stirred from feeling his erection press up against your ass,,he only let out a soft coo pressing his hand against your mouth,, "Shh, go make to sleep..I'll just be a minute." He mutters in your neck,,nipping at it to leave his own mark on you!!

noticing that you weren't falling back asleep he took it as an offer to satisfy himself even more,,discarding your body pillow with a disgusted face,,grabbing your waist tightly to flip you over to your tummy!!

"You did this on purpose didn’t you? Using a mash up of pixels to make me jealous, brat." His voice was low in your ear,,his body basically crushing yours,,his breath hot against your neck,,one of his hands holding your waist while the other digs down in your hair,,

"I'll call you in sick tomorrow." He muses,,his hand leaving your shoulder to trail down your spine,,lifting your shirt slowly,,pressing his lips down until he reaches the small of your back!!

"There you go, not thinking about him anymore are you?" Finally hearing his name slip from your sweet lips turned him on more then he could imagine,,he couldn't help himself when he roughly pulled down your pajamas,,he practically nearly ripped it on the way down!!

You knew he had alot of stamina but not this much!! He wouldn't stop even when you lost count of how many orgasms you had!! Holding your wrists up above your head,,his thrusts felt like they could snap the headboard!!! :'p

[queer-n-here]

Making Poe/Sigma ride a dildo PLS.

Also you're a great writer

Hey, thanks! Hope you like this one, too.

Also, I fucking love Sigma. I fucking love him. Him and Tanizaki are the two characters that I simp so hard for I would do anything to have them.

Contents: Making Sigma ride a dildo cuz you had a wet dream about it

Warnings: Smut, top male reader, masturbation, sex toys, nipple play.

It had been on your mind for a while now. More accurately, ever since you'd had that dream about Sigma riding a dildo like a bitch in heat, eyes glued to yours and hands bracing against the floor.

You wondered now, stepping into your shared room at the Sky Casino with a bag in your hand, if Sigma would agree to your little request.

You found him sitting at his desk the way you always did. Him, hunched over numerous sheets of paper spread out so he could see all of them at once. You walked over to him, wrapping an arm around Sigma's shoulder and placing a kiss on his temple.

He barely even looked up, murmuring a, "Welcome back," half-heartedly. You didn't mind, ruffling his hair gently and putting down the bag in your hands on the bedside table to go freshen up. When you emerged from the shower, hair dripping water onto the fabric of your T-shirt, neither Sigma nor the bag had moved. You plopped down on the bed, grabbing your phone to pass time.

"Say, baby," You said casually, and Sigma hummed to show that he was listening. "I went down today for an emergency supply run."

'Down' meant back to the surface of earth.

"Mm-hmm," Sigma's eyes were still glued to his paperwork. "See anything interesting?"

You couldn't help but smirk at his words. "Why, I did actually."

"Hmm," Was his only reply, attention stolen completely by his work.

You didn't mind; being in a relationship with someone with the personality of Sigma had that requirement of patience. His work could wrap him around him like deadly vines sometimes. Only when it started suffocating him could you step in, beating back its branches and freeing your boyfriend from them.

And Sigma himself had agreed to your suggestion that after 10 o'clock, he should forget work and just be your boyfriend. So you waited.

The very second the clock in your room struck ten, you threw your phone down and left the bed, going to stand over Sigma instead. You bent down, and picked Sigma up from his chair, making him yelp in surprise and latch onto your neck for balance.

"[Name], what-" He began, but you cut him off.

"It's ten," You jutted your head towards the clock.

Sigma glanced at it, sighed, and then wrapped his arms more firmly around your neck, his expression resigned. "Fine."

You grinned unapologetically, and carried him to the bed, setting him down on the soft mattress and laying down beside him on your side, an elbow propped up against the bed to support your head up with your hand.

"So," You said, looking down at Sigma with a mischievous combination of a smile and smirk plastered on your face. "Did you hear what I said earlier about going down for an emergency run?"

He racked his brains. "Oh, yeah, you said you saw something interesting. What was it?"

Your smile-smirk-combination turned into a full smirk, and you reached over to the bedside table to grab the bag you'd brought with you, depositing it on Sigma's chest carefully.

"Is it a present?" His face lit up, eyes shining as he scrambled to sit up to open the bag.

"Mn," You nodded, eyes glued to that expression of his. "Two, actually. One of them is for you, and the other one might be for me."

Sigma frowned. "But if you brought it for yourself then-"

"Just open it," You raised your head to kiss his lips gently. "Either way you're gonna use it."

He shrugged, "Okay," and reached into the bag. The first thing he pulled out was a small jewellery box made of oak wood, its surface shiny and well-polished. His face lit up again, throwing you an excited glance before opening it, making you smile at him fondly.

It was a silver bracelet, somehow sturdy and delicate at the same time, which was why it had reminded you of Sigma when you'd seen it in the glass case of a jewellery shop you'd been passing.

"It's beautiful," Sigma said, looking up at you with that ecstatic expression on his pretty face.

"You like it?" You asked, and he nodded earnestly. "That's good, then."

You sat up to place a soft kiss on his forehead, and he turned to hug you tightly.

"Thank you," He whispered against your chest as you stroked the back of his head. "I'll cherish it."

You smiled. It felt so good to be able to make him smile, it was surreal.

Sigma got up from the bed to carefully put the bracelet in a drawer, face all split from that wide smile on it. He returned for the second gift, the one you had deliberately placed lower in the bag so he would see it later.

Sitting down next to you again, he took up the bag and reached into it for a second time. When he pulled his hand out, sitting on his hand, all innocent looking and perfectly stationary, was a bright purple dildo.

His eyes widened, and a heavy blush rose up to his cheeks. He dropped it back into the bag, turning to you accusingly as his face burned with shame.

You met his gaze with a calm one of yours, smirking. "How d'you like it?"

Ten minutes later, you received the answer to your question.

You had somehow managed to convince a very flustered Sigma into cooperating with your plans. Now, he was on the floor next to you, hole tight and pathetic around the dildo that you'd stuck to the floor.

You sat close to him, letting him clutch your shirt in his hands as he huffed and panted, eyes wet and shoulders shaking.

"I think you're ready to move now, right, baby?" You asked, supporting most of his weight as he leaned against you.

Sigma nodded, and slowly began moving. He raised his hips till only the tip of the dildo was in him, before engulfing the entire thing again. His thighs shook, and moans spilled from his pretty mouth as he began riding it. You let him bury his head into your chest, knowing full well the shame that made him red now would be gone soon.

Sigma began gaining a rhythm slowly, his hips speeding up as your hand reached for your own waistband. Supporting him with one hand, you used the other to pull your cock free from its retraints. You began stroking just as Sigma's moans grew louder, each thrust of the dildo against his gummy walls making him more breathless than before.

"Look at me, baby," You said, hands fast on your cock.

He did, fingers of both his hands clenching you so tight you wondered if he'd be able to tear your skin through the shirt. His eyes were leaking tears down either side of his red face, and his sweat-soaked and messy hair was sticking to his forehead. His eyes were wide, pupils all blown out and blurred up. You leaned down and kissed him, swallowing each of his moans as he bounced on the dildo.

You continued jerking off to the sight of your boyfriend riding that dildo, knowing full well it could have been your cock if you'd asked for that instead.

"Move faster, baby," You told him, and with tears streaming down his face, he did as he was told.

As Sigma bounced wildly, your eyes glued themselves to the point where the dildo plunged in and out of his already swollen hole. He bit his lips, throwing his head back and letting you lower your head to bite at his pale flesh and kiss his nipples. His shame, as you had predicted, had already vaporized into thin air, and he made eye contact with you as he rode the dildo, mouth open and spilling lewd sounds. You licked and bit and kissed and teased to your heart's content as Sigma's body moved beneath your lips.

Soon, his moans turned into cries, and his movements grew sloppily and wilder, arms wrapping around your neck desperately and pulling you closer. Your hand sped up around your cock, knowing from his mannerisms that Sigma was close to his orgasm.

"Let's finish together, hmm?" You said, and Sigma nodded, leaning up to catch your lips in a kiss.

You reached over with your free hand to stroke his length, making him gasp and try to pull away, but you held on firm. You stroked both cocks in rhythm till he was crying, burying his face into your chest and just sobbing, his orgasm strong and unavoidable as it washed over him.

Ropes of cum shot out of your cock as Sigma collapsed onto you, breathless and tired. You reached forwards to pull him up and away from the dildo and onto you, wrapping both your arms around his shaking frame.

You let him calm down and come down from his high, stroking his back and pressing kisses into his temple. Soon, he pulled away to look at you, tears dried on his cheeks.

"Was that good?" He asked.

You nodded, smiling. "So good, baby. Now that you've had practice, d'you wanna try the real thing?"

Sigma's eyes widened, and he flushed impossibly darker.

[sooniebby]

Hi, were you accepting request? if so, could i request a nsfw fiction? where m!reader is having an intimate night with his soft boyfriend (any male character you're simping for) who's happy to pop m!reader's virginity and bottomed him out with lots of cum!

“would you look at this? there's a bulge inside you, so adorable just like you..”

ఌ 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐈

❝ 𝙔𝙤𝙪’𝙫𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙭 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚?! ❞

꧁ 𝘿𝙚𝙣𝙟𝙞 𝙭 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ꧂

Word count › 1.9k

Rating › NSFW

Warnings › cringy idiots having sex

Kinks › creampie

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈─➤ ＢＥＧＩＮＮＩＮＧ

Denji was ready. He prepared everything in advance—something he rarely does which told Aki and Power that he indeed was serious. The small apartment they shared was empty with just Denji and his boyfriend, (Name). They had been dating for almost six months which was honestly a record for Denji. 

He was honestly not sure what shocked him the most: that he was dating a man or that their relationship lasted more than a week. 

But he had gotten over that. Denji silently smirked to himself, not noticing the raised eyebrows he got from (Name). 

Honestly, (Name) should’ve been used to Denji’s strange quirks by now. 

(Name) was only an inch taller than Denji and had more muscle on him compared to his previously malnourished boyfriend. Maybe that’s why Denji thought (Name) was supposed to take the lead in the relationship. 

That’s what the comics showed. 

“Denji, if you’re done smiling to yourself, can you pass me the remote?” (Name) asked, holding his hand out. Denji bristled but handed him the remote, eyeing the other beside him. 

Okay, maybe he was just stupid, but wasn’t something supposed to happen by now? 

(Name) changed the channels until it was on some random action movie. He hummed as he moved to rest his head on Denji’s lap, getting himself comfortable. Denji couldn’t help his urge to tangle his hand in (Name)’s hair, doing some little braids that would be a pain to undo later. 

It stayed like that for a moment—just the two enjoying each other’s company. 

“Something wrong?” (Name) asked. 

Denji hummed. “No. Why?” That was one of the weird things about (Name). It was like he was able to feel whenever Denji was overthinking something. 

“You’ve been on edge ever since I got here.” (Name) moved to sit up to look at Denji. “Was it…?” He trailed off to let Denji get the idea. (Name) hated Makima and really any one that took advantage of Denji’s naivety but he knew not to state it outloud. 

Who knew if she could hear their every move? 

Denji frowned. Damn, did he really suck at hiding his emotions? “Uh, well, it’s really just I thought you’d do something by now.” 

“Do what?” 

“Sex.” 

(Name) blushed. If this was any other situation, Denji would’ve began celebrating since it was practically impossible to get (Name) to blush. But right now, he was worried his boyfriend would faint from overheating. 

Was he embarrassed by sex? 

“Do you not want to have sex? You’ve dated before.” Denji said. 

“But….” (Name) looked away. “I’ve never had sex before.” 

Denji blinked. 

No way. 

No fucking way! 

“Huh?!” He yelled, a bit too loud for (Name) who suddenly turned back to stare at him with a scowl on his face. 

“What?! Why’s that so hard to believe?” 

“How can you date other people but not have sex?” 

“I was scared…” (Name) muttered. 

Denji was so confused. How could (Name) fight devils with no issue but he somehow had a problem with having sex? Denji stared at him with a confused look that only embarrassed (Name) even more. They stayed like that for a moment while the movie continued on in the background. 

“Was this why you wanted to have this sleepover?” (Name) asked, his cheeks finally returning to back to normal. 

Denji shrugged. “Half of it. I also just wanted to spend time with you.” 

(Name) bit his lip. “We can have sex but I might be a bit bad…” 

“It’s not like I’ve ever had sex ,” Denji stated. 

“I should get ready then,” (Name) said, standing up. 

“Ready for what?” 

“….for you to fuck me, did you forget already?” (Name) asked, his usual snappiness coming back. 

Denji paused. “You…. You’ll take my dick inside you?!” He asked, shocked at the new development. 

(Name) stared at him as if he was crazy. “Yeah, I don’t want to top. Besides, I doubt you know how to open yourself.” 

“Open myself?!” 

“Do you even know what has to happen for us to have sex?! Neither of us have a vagina!” 

“I thought the person who had the biggest dick tops.” 

(Name) frowned. “Where did you learn all of this?” 

“Manga….” 

“Just ask me next time. But you have the bigger dick anyway.” (Name) said, walking away to the bathroom. 

Denji blinked. 

Wait how did he know that? 

ꕤ

(Name) was scared. Yeah, sure, he had been wanting to have sex with Denji but he was also terrified. A dick was supposed to go inside his asshole. That’s scary! What if it tears him open?! 

He sighed, looking around in the bathroom for any type of lube. Much to his surprise, he did. He tried not to imagine who this belonged to. (Name) walked over to the small bedroom that Denji was already in, pacing around. 

“You okay?” 

Denji nodded, stopping in his tracks. “I quickly read one of Aki’s hidden porn mag and saw what I have to do.” 

“Uh, okay. Do you mind getting out so I prepare?” 

“No. I wanna see.” Denji said before quickly realising how harsh he sounded. “If you don’t mind…” 

(Name) controlled his urge to pout. “Sure, fine. Just don’t look at me weird.” He slipped off his pyjamas and laid down on the bed. It was a bit odd to be fully naked in front of Denji but he tried to ignore it as he slipped off his boxers. 

With shaky hands, he grabbed the lube to squeeze out a generous amount and went straight to his ass. (Name) moved himself to where his legs was pulled closer to his chest as he easily slipped in a finger inside himself. 

“So easily?” Denji asked, not noticing the look of embarrassment on (Name)’s face. 

“I masturbated this morning…” He whispered, slipping in another finger with ease. It was somehow making him horny to masturbate in front of his boyfriend. Maybe he was a pervert.

Soft moans left (Name)’s lips as he tried to open himself up as much as possible. His face was dusted pink, feeling the watchful eyes of Denji. He wondered what he was thinking. 

Did he think he was sexy? 

“(Name)…” 

“Mmh?” 

Denji was way closer than he was earlier. He stared at (Name) as he gently reached over and parted his legs even further to get a better look. 

“Your legs are in the way.” Denji said, grinning at the whine of embarrassment he got from (Name). “Are you ready?” 

(Name) glanced down at the bulge in Denji’s pants and gulped. He was ready physically but mentally? 

“Yeah. Just don’t go so hard…” 

Denji simply grinned and motioned for (Name) to lay down. He pulled down his pants, not having worn boxers, and grabbed some lube to spread on his cock. It was a bit cold… 

This certainly wasn’t his own lube. 

Oh. 

He shuddered at the thought of either Power or Aki using it. (Name) was too busy counting cats in his head to notice Denji’s panicked thinking. A laugh caught his attention as (Name) looked down to see Denji in between his legs. 

“What are you laughing at?” 

“Nothing…. It’s just I thought since you were bigger than me that you’d have a bigger dick,” Denji said, staring at down at (Name)’s 4 inch dick that seemed to twitch under his gaze. (Name) glared at him, sitting up to get a glance at Denji’s cock when his skin turned pale. 

“What the fuck…?” 

“What? Is it ugly?” 

“No… Are you a grower?!” 

The one time (Name) had saw Denji’s cock, it was large but not as big as it is now. It had to be close to eight inches than the five that he last saw. Denji blushed while a confident smile grew on his lips. 

(Name) rolled his eyes but laid back down. Denji took that as a sign to go ahead. He inched in closer and pressed his dick right at (Name)’s hole that was dripping with the copious amount of lube he had used earlier. It was a bit scary for (Name) but Denji was excited. 

This was way better than what he imagined. 

He was going to give his boyfriend the best night of his life. 

With one swift movement, he easily pushed inside. (Name)’s breathing hitched, a soft whine leaving his lips. He gripped the bed sheets beneath him as Denji continued to push his entire length inside. It should’ve embarrassed him at how easily he took him in but he was sort of proud of his body. 

Once Denji was fully inside, their skin touching, he finally looked down at (Name)’s stomach. It was a bit toned from the work they did but still had a softness that he loved to play with. But there was something causing (Name)’s stomach to bulge. 

Was it his dick? 

“(Name).” 

Only a pitiful whimper left (Name)’s lips. 

“There’s a bulge inside of you from me.” 

(Name) let out a gasp of concern as he glanced down to see it was indeed true. He was shocked. And horny as his lower region tightened around Denji’s dick. Denji groaned and a playful smirk appeared on his lips. 

Denji trailed a hand on (Name)’s stomach and lightly touched the bulge. He leaned down to press a kiss on his lips. 

“It’s cute, like you.” 

With that, he began to slowly pull out and slam back inside. (Name) mouth opened in a silent scream as Denji used most of his strength to keep up the harsh motion. (Name) wanted to kill Denji for not going slow like he wanted but he couldn’t deny that it felt so good. 

There was a constant pressure on something inside of him. Whenever Denji so much as brushed it—(Name)’s body jerked upwards as he moaned. Their neighbors were going to kill them in the morning. 

(Name) reached over to wrap his arms around Denji’s neck, bringing him close to kiss him once more. This only seemed to make Denji gain more energy as he reached down and grasped (Name)’s right leg, pulling it up more to gain more space to move faster. 

The position for (Name) was a bit uncomfortable but he had no time to complain. 

Denji pulled away from the kiss and groaned. “I see why you wanted to bottom. I feel like I’m going to pass out already.” He said, his thrusts getting considerably inconsistent. 

(Name) smirked, “aw, you can’t handle it?” Denji simply stared at him as if he shouldn’t have said that.

Maybe he shouldn’t have because obviously the guy with a devil living inside of him has more power than the average human. 

It could’ve been, maybe almost ten minutes, of Denji’s inhumane thrusts. (Name)’s stomach was covered in his own cum that had began to be more watery after the third time. His throat was sore and honestly he wished he kept his damn mouth shut. 

“Denji…” he whined. 

Denji simply hummed, nipping at (Name)’s neck as he slowed down his thrusts. 

“Finish already. I’m so tired…” 

“Fine, fine. I’m close anyway,” Denji grunted, easily flipping over (Name) to lay on his knees and face away from him. It took only a few more harsh thrusts that deliberately touched the magic spot inside of (Name) as they both cummed with the other’s name on their lips. 

(Name) groaned, wanting to sleep. He could feel the hot cum inside of him that felt like an amount no normal human could realistically make but Denji wasn’t exactly human anymore. With his head on the pillow, he was about to fall asleep as Denji pulled out only to feel him push the cum dripping out back inside of him. 

“Denji!” 

“What? Don’t want it to spill.” 

(Name) headed chuckling before feeling Denji push his cock back inside. 

And it was still hard. 

“Do you mind going for a few more rounds? I still have stamina in me!” 

(Name) was done for. 

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈─➤ ＥＮＤ

First ever request!! Thank you so much for idea! I choose Denji so hopefully you know him or at the very least enjoy the story!

Requests are open so if you got any ideas, feel free to send me them!

Feedback greatly appreciated too! Thanks for reading

[madamefeu]

Hi! Here’s what your favorite Hazbin Hotel ship says about you!

Radiodust: You're an old-timer who's been around since the pilot. One off-handed joke about Angel Dust wanting to suck Alastor's dick was all it took for you to start shipping them. You always ship the two most attractive male characters together in your fandoms, even if they have no real connection

Huskerdust: I’m not going to touch this one because I’ll probably get death threats if I don’t tell the Huskerdust fandom exactly what they want to hear

Radiorose: Hello, aro-ace community! You love this because they're the closet thing to a canon queerplatonic couple that currently exists in mainstream media, and as a fellow aro-ace, I’m in the exact same boat

Chaggie: You like the idea of forbidden love, but you're not interested in handling all of the social/political ramifications of it, and would prefer to conveniently gloss over both of those things just like in the show. This ship has the flavor profile of vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips, and so does your personality

Lucifer/Lilith: You only want one thing in this life, and that is for a powerful woman to step on your neck. You are a bottom to end all bottoms

Radioapple: Daddy kink, but in a voyeuristic way. You like watching two dads doing each other, but there is no way you’d ever let them touch you, no, all you want is to watch them go at it

Rosiemilla: Mommy kink, but in a voyeuristic way

Radiohusk: Oh, you would let a man do unspeakable things to you if he was hot enough. You read dark romances and you want a dark romance to happen to you in real life

Cherrisnake: You are absolutely terrible at handling your feelings for everyone you've ever crushed on, and will try to convince yourself that you hate the object of your affections because you lack the courage needed to make a move on them. It would take a life or death situation for you to tell your crush how you really feel about them, and even then you'd be more afraid of telling them than of dying

Guitarspear: Hello, Adam simps! You binge-read workplace romances and you fantasise about dating your boss even though he's a dick 90% of the time. Strangely, the fact that he's a dick makes you even more attracted to him

Staticmoth: Your ideal ship is two horrible people who deserve each other. You want what they have, but at the same time you don't

Zestmilla: Your preferred aesthetic is old married couple core, and I respect that. You binge-read found family fics on AO3, and your favorite tag is hurt/comfort

Radiostatic: You love the idea of someone being obsessed with you when you have no interest in them. You like to laugh at their, quite frankly, pathetic attempts to get you to notice them, and you're waiting for the day when the penny will drop and they'll realise that they are nothing to you, and never will be

Arackpentious: You have never cared about canon, and you don't intend to start now. You probably simp for Sir Pentious and use Arackniss as a self-insert. We know barely any canon information about him, so it's easy for you to project yourself onto him so that you can get doubly-dicked down by the Victorian snake man

Charlastor: You're all about the aesthetic. You got into this ship because there's an abundance of gorgeous fanart for it, even if there's no chance of them being together in canon. You don't care about that, however, because they look beautiful together and that's all that matters to you

Radiomimzy: You wish that the old canon of Mimzy being Alastor's girlfriend was still canon

Royalhalo: You hate Vaggie and you think that Charlie deserves better than her, and who better than the sugary sweet angel who was the first to hear Charlie out and argue in her favor when she found out the truth about the exterminations?

Cherridust: You are aggressively heterosexual and you believe that it is impossible for a man and a woman to be friends without one or both secretly harboring feelings for the other. You binge-read friends to lovers fics on Wattpad, and if a man so much as says hi to a woman, you will ship them

Cherrimoth: You like enemies to lovers, but in a bitch eating crackers kind of way. You either have a crush on someone that you love to hate from afar, or you want to fall in love with someone who hates you from afar

[thepunkranger]

Resident Evil Characters - A Summary

Note: This is entirely my own opinion and said with a heavy dose of humor

Please enjoy

Chris Redfield

OG

Started as a twunk

Became an angry gorilla man???

Alpha Male™️

Punches boulders

Wants you to marry his sister

Smoker

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife

Rude to wait staff

2/10 - Just a guy. Hit him with your car

-

Jill Valentine

Other OG

Arguably better main of RE1

Master of Unlocking

Bisexual Bob™️

Butch

Supercop

Once got mind-controlled into going blonde

Rocket Launcher babe

PTSD

Big Strap Energy

Giant anime gun

10/10

-

Albert Wesker

OG Baddy

Sunglasses

Thinks he’s cool

A little too into Chris

“What are we going to do this game, Albert?”

“What we do every game, Alex: try to take over the world”

Matrix jacket

Maybe a vampire?

Looks like my uncle (derogatory)

4/10

-

Barry Burton

Bear

A+ line delivery

Just happy to be a part of things

Wishes his daughter would talk to him

Comes through in a pinch

Got lost on his way to The Last of Us

Father figure

Not dead out of sheer dumb luck

8/10

-

Rebecca Chambers

Baby butch

Sees the best in everyone

Autism be damned, my girl can work a shotgun

Sporty

Mommy Domme/Babygirl switch vibes

Sweet coffee addict

Doing fine, thanks for asking

Awkward thumbs up

9/10

-

Billy Coen

Bad Boy™️

Never bothered to take off his handcuffs

Tattoos

Mullet???

Moral standards

Strong silent type

Whole situation could’ve been avoided by just talking about his issues but no

Queen fan

7/10

-

Leon S. Kennedy

If a golden retriever became a human and then got kicked every day of its life

Having a really bad first day

Into dominant women

Dumb 90s haircut

Uses comedy as a coping mechanism

Hair grows in direct correlation to his level of angst

“Hey demons, it’s me, ya boi”

Sexy

Dog lover

Certified Good Boy™️

Fucked up a perfectly good rookie is what you did. Look at it, it’s got depression

15/10

-

Claire Redfield

College student stuck in the zombie apocalypse

Soft butch

Humanitarian

Forced her brother to teach her how to knife fight

Really into motorcycles

Leather jacket

Rocket Launcher babe #2

Always has at least one adopted child with her

10/10 would ask to babysit

-

Ada Wong

Mommy. Sorry. Mommy- sorry. Mommy-

Grappling hook

Badass spy

Emotionally distant

Soft spot for cute cuddly things (Leon)

Femme fatale

Book lover

Chaotic neutral

Crossbow 😍

Could step on me and I’d say thank you

Rocket launcher babe #3

10/10

-

Sherry Birkin

Goosebumps protagonist

Worst parents ever tbh

Surprisingly good under pressure

Please someone get this girl some therapy

Supergirl

Smartest person here

One hell of a shot

The trauma is immeasurable

Somehow still doing fine

Loves her weird adopted family

8/10

-

Carlos Oliviera

Himbo

First POC main?

Went from three polygons and a white boy haircut in the original to actual gorgeous South American hunk in the remake

Lost his accent along the way for some reason

#1 Jill simp

If Dug from Up was a guy

Only trustworthy person in the whole series

Just wants to help

Gorgeous gorgeous hair

Loves strong women

Hakuna matata

Touch-starved

10/10 would peg

-

Steve Burnside

Twink

Who is this sassy lost child?

Hot Topic employee

Into Claire (she’s too old for you bud)

Choker

Thinks he’s edgy

Whiny

Daddy issues

1/10

-

Luis Serra Navaro

If Puss in Boots was a human

The Most Extra™️

Luscious flowing locks

Definitely into bondage

Used to work for Umbrella

Trying to make up for it

Don Quixote references

Bisexual

Good with his hands

Praying for a threesome with Leon and Ada

10/10

-

Ashley Graham

Basic white girl

Always getting kidnapped

Master of Unlocking #2

Razor flip phone

Ada Wong bisexual awakening (same)

Good with a wrecking ball

Makes Leon catch her every time she has to jump a ledge (also same)

Would like to go to Hot Topic, please

7/10

-

Sheva Alomar

Player 2

Second POC main

Bad AI

Too good for her game

Willing to go on a suicide mission with a guy she just met

Left handed

Deserves a better stylist

Only good part of RE5

Literally my girl got done so dirty just give her another chance please

10/5

-

Moira Burton

“It’s not a phase, dad!”

Probably gay

Weak arms

Skillz

Box dyed her hair at least once

Simple Plan playing in the background

Childhood trauma

7/10

-

Piers Nivans

Trying his best

Appreciates a good steak

Sick of Chris’ bullshit

Good with a rifle

Just a good man

German Shepherd boy

Self-sacrificing

8/10

-

Jake Muller

Wesker’s son

Daddy issues

Who invited Ronan Lynch here?

Quips for days

Bad boy

Loves the type of woman who can kick his ass

The Most Edgy™️

9/10

-

Ethan Winters

Husband of the year

Trusting

Surprisingly chill

The most basic white man in all of RE

Hands? What hands?

Functionally a lizard

Would still love you if you were a worm

Just casually knows how to craft bullets

Moldy

8/10

-

Mia Winters

Toxic girlfriend energy

Literally possessed

Dark sense of humor

Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

Casually working for a bioterrorism organization

Does actually care about her family

Definitely doesn’t have a penicillin allergy

If you can’t be the girl of his dreams, you can at least be the feral swamp witch of his nightmares

2/10

-

Zoe Baker

Lesbian

Mold intolerance

Southern accent thicker than grandma’s gravy

Picked last on the playground

Somehow okay despite her brother being Like That

Joe’s favorite

Science skills

8/10

-

Lucas Baker

Jigsaw

Didn’t even need the mold

Probably got at least one true crime documentary made about him

Working for Mia’s bioterrorism organization

Left his classmate rotting in the attic

Just the worst

0/10

-

Alcina Dimetrescu

Mommy

Please step on me

Elizabeth Bathory vibes

Just fucking huge

Can turn into a dragon

Lesbian

9/10

-

Karl Heisenberg

Grimy

Tumblr Sexyman

When robotics majors get weird

Fights with his siblings

Doesn’t actually care at all about Miranda

In cahoots with the lycans

7/10

-

Rosemary Winters

Mommy and Daddy issues

YA protagonist

Badass

Childhood trauma

Into the Mold-verse

Alternate universe Sherry Birkin

8/10

[just-ornstein]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE BEAKER CASTLE EVEN - A SimPE Deep Dive

Alright, so after stumbling upon some of the Beta pics on the Russian TheSims.cc site and this analysis post about the Beaker mansion, I became deeply curious if some of this would be reflected in the lot relationships. After all, some characters like Viola, Kelly, on top of several others could be found when digging through the raw and somewhat encrypted code of lots.

By now it's pretty clear that the Beaker home once belonged to this dude and his army of girlfriends (definitely check out the post I mentioned earlier). On top of that Loki (and possibly Circe) seems to have gone through at least two iterations before eventually settling on their final forms.

And on top of that whenever you scan the mansion in a completely new game, you will find fingerprints of primarily deceased Sims everywhere!

Now to get to the Sim relationships on the lot...

712 freaking Sim Relationships, all of which are unknown. Some of which still have stats set such as married, friends, relationship scores, etc. I tried comparing this to other lots in their neighborhood and NONE even come close. Both Olive and the Smiths have around 400. The other lots have below. And the only lots that are even a tad higher in this number are the Capps and the Summerdreams which makes sense when you realise that hood went through at least one other iteration before turning into Veronaville.

Now I wondered if the encrypted code (despite being very hard to read due to being partially encrypted) had any old Sim remnants left in there. And yep, several even. Many of which even have information such as their gender, hair, clothes and age in there. So lemme go over some of them:

1. First one, a guy who's name is partially encrypted so it will never fully be visible. It's not Johnny cause Johnny also has his character file on this lot.

A male teen with brown hair who used to wear the "tmbodyhoodedsweatshirtboardshorts" + the "tmhairhatcap" hairstyle.

2. Second is another teen, this time by the name of Zeeshan. He had black hair, the bucket hat hairstyle and wore the hooded sweatshirt, except with pants this time around (and grey apparently?).

3. The third was an adult male Sim by the name of Kenneth with black hair. Based on his info he was likely meant to be a Gardener Sim.

4. The fourth was one named Kana... Possibly a longer name cause once again the code becomes a bit shambled here. She too was meant to be a Gardener as seen by her outfit and hair data. Her hair would have been brown.

5. Elle, another female Gardener Sim, this one having red hair.

6. Vasyl, an adult male Sim who wore the busdriver outfit. Sadly his hair data seems to be blocked behind the code. For funsies I like to give the name to Bald Beta Loki, since he gives off that vibe. BUT, I think this was an NPC busdriver due to the outfit.

7. Joanne, an adult female Sim with an unknown hair colour in corn rows style and the classy afbodyjacketturtlesweaterdressboots. Sadly her ID is hidden behind the encrypted code, so it's hard to fully make out.

All of these Sims appear to be NPC/Townie Sims. None of them match ANYONE in the Beta pictures. And the current Townies/NPCs seem to have replaced them. Interestingly enough, those that were NPCs are still NPCs and those that were Townies are still Townies. Making me wonder if this is a thing that translates to other Sim IDs too. That Sims that were Townies in earlier iterations are still Townies in their new form. Same for NPCs and yep, Playables. This is merely an assumption I'm making on what I'm finding here, but if anyone can help research this further, that would be greatly appreciated, especially as this could mean the Viola ID may not belong to Viola Monty.

Viola is an odd case cause no outfit, hair or other data can be found in the lot file and she's only ever mentioned once in the context of lines filled with "sleep in pyjamas". But for now I cannot say anything with certainty unless more remnants of these old Sims could be found somewhere. OR, if these files could be read in its entirety which is quite difficult.

It's very hard to get a Sim ID attached to a lot (believe me I tried) and often times seems to rather happen accidentally than intentionally. Moving a Sim out or having a Sim die usually removes the data they once held to that lot. Good example is Loki in my current Strangetown who lived on this lot all of his life and when he died he had no remnants left on this lot.

REGARDLESS! The Beaker lot is ancient and seems to have been ground for a ton of testing, Sims and many more things. No wonder the Beakers got this home with its incredibly shady history. Half of the beta town was partying here!

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Lord Dimitrescu Headcanons (Genderbent Lady Dimitrescu) (Resident Evil Village)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! Welcome back to another chapter! In this chapter it is Lord Daddy Dimitrescu as a yandere, he is the genderbent of Lady Dimitrescu. The Artwork I have for this is on Tumblr, wattpad, youtube, etc. I own it as I commissioned it. I hope you all enjoy this chapter here!]

(Disclaimer: Lord Daddy Dimitrescu is the genderbent version of Lady Dimitrescu, and he is not yandere in canon as her. This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all. Simping for fictional characters is fine, just do not be gross or illegal about it. Also, rule 63 is if there is a female character on the internet it has a male version and vice versa. Also, Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life. NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY ARE MOMMIES AND DADDIES AND OR HOT LOL)

But let's be honest if Daddy D was yandere for me I would DROP EVERYTHING For this man!

Still, yanderes are not ideal… poo…

(Once Again, Enjoy this!)

-Base Yandere Lord Dimitrescu Headcanons-

.Lord Daddy D (yes that is what I am going to call him in this and you cannot stop me XD) is one of the four lords.

.You are the child of the local tavern owner in the village.

.You were to take Lord Dimitrescu's wine from him to transport out of town, this is how you met the lord.

.Instantly he wanted you, and he would have you.

.You would be a good partner and parent to his daughters.

.He wanted to keep you and he will.

.He now would come down to the tavern very often. Where he would see you working as a waiter at your father's tavern.

.You were a dutiful child and he could not wait to have you. To taste you in more than one way~

.He obviously has an excitement for how large he is compared to you.

.His sheer size, he could use you like a toy on his manhood.

.The idea alone excites him.

.Also he could make love to you standing up lifting you up and down on him.

.Almost wrapping a hand around half of your waist.

. Your size to him is something he likes very much.

.It makes him the more dominant one and is able to make you his easily.

.As a yandere he is very possessive and controlling and demanding.

.You belong to him and you should do as he says when he says it.

.You will be his nice little spouse for him.

.He has a daddy kink

.So he would be fatherly to you and guide you as a caretaker a lot of the time.

.He is also the type of yandere that will love to worship your body over and over making love to you until you pass out.

.To make you feel like you might shatter upon him.

.He is also very rough with you in the bedroom.

.able to make you cry out in delight and come undone upon him.

.He can be also a bit of a jealous yandere.

.He wants to be your one and only.

.If any other man or woman defiled you then they will be killed.

.If you were with anyone else besides him he would punish you.

.You should have none better and been a good future spouse and waited for him. Even though you did not know he would want you.

.Once he does punish you and kills all that have been with you.

.He will claim you, marking you as his and his alone, so no one will ever be able to have a claim on you again.

.He will most likely brand you with his house crest and carve his name into your collarbone.

.So everyone knows that you are his and belong to him and him alone.

.You will be moved to the castle to be his bed warmer and future spouse.

.Only his daughters and him could speak to you.

.If you tried to run the villagers are more than willing to capture you again and to bring you back to him.

.Where you would be punished by him for daring to leave then he will make love with you for days on end until you know your place with your future husband.

.He deals with rivals by torturing them and throwing them into the dungeon.

.You will be a good partner for him, he will make sure of it.

.He confesses to you by having a candlelit dinner.

.It is beyond romantic, if you say yes, you will be expected to marry him in post haste.

.If you say no, well he will threaten your family.

.He was a lord, what would your father do if he tavern was closed.

.If you still say no he will just have your father give him your hand that way you cannot say no.

.In the end you will marry him, it is just better for you if you are willing.

.He will hold your family over your head and you will be forced to marry him.

.To become his spouse and to warm his bed. If possible to carry his seed and give him more children.

.He will not stop until you are his mark his words.

.You belong to house Dimitrescu, you belong to Lord Daddy D.

(Now should there a mini-series of Vampire lord Daddy D >:3

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I hope that you all enjoyed this and stay sexy all of my sexy muffins!]

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

What is your opinion on the „aang idealized katara take“

I personally find it very ridiculous that people assume that he idealized katara because he showed disconcern over her bevaiour in the southern raiders.

He literally asks her „what do you think will this accomplish“ because indeed what would accomplish and he had her happiness in priority.

https://www.tumblr.com/araeph/160425658850/also-if-you-wrote-out-everything-katara-has-ever

Zutarians say Aang idealized Katara because, despite their claim that they are her "real" fans", they cannot understand, let alone appreciate, her character at all.

They see Aang acknowledging her qualities and are confused because they see nothing worth admiring in her. They see Aang being worried when she's doing things that are out of character or a sign that she's not doing well mentally and think he just "can't handle the real her" because they think Katara is nothing EXCEPT her worst traits and actions.

Objective truth is always going to look like idealization to people that are only interested in the dark, ugly and unlikeable because they think it's "edgy" and "mature."

Plus zutarians are wanna-be feminists and they'll latch onto any pseudo-feminist lingo. That's why they'll ramble about Male Gaze, idealization, manic-pixie-dream-girl and what not. They think Zuko and Katara look good together while Aang and Katara don't, and instead of just owning that they want to pretend their preference is objective instead of subjective, so just use whatever buzz word they read on buzzfeed five years ago and slap it on Aang to make him look bad.

No kind deed can be genuine, no compliment isn't manipulation, no disagreement isn't abuse and control. He's guilty until proven innocent, always.

If he thinks she's attractive, he's a misogynist sexualizing her. But if sex isn't on his mind, he's not "mature" enough for her. If he agrees with her he's a pathetic simp, if he disagrees he's oppressing her. If he spends his time with her he's codependent and a burden, if he spends it elsewhere/with someone else he's uncaring, selfish and unreliable. If he helps her he has a savior complex and doesn't trust her abilities, if he lets her do her thing he's not supportive of her like she is of him. If he needs her help he is a toddler, if he doesn't he is "too perfect" and "boring" and "typical male wish fullfilment"

Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't. Always.

[darlingsaturn]

Idk if it’s just me, but i have no problem thirsting over men (fictional characters specifically). I drool over them, left deprived comments, read smuts, just full on simping for them. I feel okay being horny over them.

I’am okay slutting and whoring male characters. They are fictional characters, so i can hc them however i see fits.

(The ones in legal age ofc)

But when it’s women (fictional characters specifically), i feel SO guilty! Especially those characters for the male gaze (yknow what i’m talking about), i would just close my phone and think of what i have done. I don’t even have to thirst over them or read smut of them. I feel so bad for ever think that they’re sexy. (They are sexy and hot, BUT I FEEL BAD FOR EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT!!!)

My train of thought is like : “oh, she’s fine as hell~” *realizing it afterwards* “WHY AM I ACTING LIKE THIS??!!?!!!”

I know the characters are beautiful and easy on the eyes to attract more people to the fandom, like, it’s ON PURPOSE. But i feel so guilty when i’m horny over female characters😭

Pls tell me i’m not the only one😭😭

[roadkillxd]

i fucking love your blog sm man 😩🤌🏽 i’d found it when i was going through my stranger things simp phase but i just saw your recent ghost post and saw you’re asking for mw requests so could i request some power bottom male reader with a sub top konig? reader just going to town riding his dick and keeping könig bound to the bed frame so he can’t touch him? that’s really all i’m looking for pls 🥹🙏🏽 creative freedom to you otherwise and if you’re not feeling this i totally understand :)

Writing for König's a bit hard since he's not a full campaign character, but I think this came out good. The hood stays on during sex ♡

König x M!Reader ↪ 920 words — 18+ / SMUT.

Content tags — cis male power bottom reader, cis male service top König, reader knows just enough German to be a tease, bondage, minor stomach bulge, unsafe sex, three years of high school level German, established relationship, bondage, size kink, rope play, begging, and pet names.  

You gasp, bracing your legs as König instinctively bucks his hips up, fucking up into you. One of your hands shoots behind you to grip his leg tight, the other rubbing at his bulging arm muscles straining against the ropes holding him in place. 

“Still—” you hiss out, sinking down to take his whole length, bottom lip pulled between your teeth. As you move your hand to his throat, the words and movement effectively get him to freeze, though not without complaint.

“Bitte, mein hase–I—God, erlauben Sie mir—”

You huff a laugh, gently grinding back onto his pulsing cock, pushing his hood up just enough to get at his lips, kissing him deep and wet as he moans high and throaty.

“Words, König,” you murmur, lovingly kissing his face through the cloth, “sing for me.”

“I have,” he whines, rolling his head back against his shoulder, “nichtmuttersprachler…”

You grin, sucking dark hickeys into his strong shoulders causing him to whine out. You can feel how desperately his thigh muscles twitch, longing to move, to please you.

“Be my good boy, love, mein guter Junge—braver Junge. Ich kann es sprechen."

König groans at your words, a moan ripping from him as you start a slow and steady pace on his cock, feeling how he stretches you out—fills you up. You can’t help the little ‘ah, ah, ah’’s that poor from your lips, feeling his spongey cockhead pressing against your sweet spot. 

Your cock kicks and dribbles precum, König whining at the site, veins bulging in his arms as he struggles again. His brain feels hazy, drunk from the feeling of being used like a toy—something to only pleasure yourself with. He wants to be good, wants to make you feel good. Anything you could want to make you feel good. 

“Feel so full,” you hum, hips speeding up until you’re bouncing on him fast and hard, “so big, baby.”

He’s heard it so many times before in his life, but hearing it from you makes him gasp wetly, a strangled moan high and reedy escaping from him. You laugh, pulling his hood up again to nibble at his lips, and the pink tip of his tongue when it peeks out searching for permission.

“Are you close?” You smile against his lips, razor sharp. He shivers.

“Yes, yes, hase—bitte, please, please,” he begs, nails digging into his palms. You reach out to rub your hands over his bunched fists, soothing him from cutting into his own skin.

“Can feel it. Can feel you pulsing in me, love,” you whisper.

“Oh fuck—!” König cries out, eyes slamming shut.

“That’s it, mein Spielzeug. Go ‘head and move, make me feel good. Fill me up, you’ve been so patient.”

König growls. You can just see how his brow furrows under the hood as he braces his feet against the bed. There’s the slightest second of stillness. The calm before the storm, his heartbeat strong against your palm as you grope at his chest.

You lift onto your knees ever so slightly, moving up and off of him just for him to growl out a desperate, scratchy “no!”

You cry out as his hips launch up, sheathing his cock into you once again. There’s no pause, no adjustment period (though by God, are you stretched enough) as König fucked up into you like a crazed man, the both of your moans mixing together, almost drowned out by the wet slap of skin against skin—the squelch of your lube slick hole adjusting to his girth over and over. 

He doesn’t falter in his movements, and you can feel that heavy weight in your tummy where he pounds into you. You know if you pressed down on the fat there you could feel his cock moving inside of you—pummeling your tight little hole. 

And that’s exactly what you do.

Pushing down on your stomach you cry out as the head of his cock rubs past your fingertips through the layers of skin and fat and muscle. And König, fuck, König can feel it. Feel the faintest sensation of touch, of your fingers brushing over the bulge of his cock inside of you. 

It has the both of you tumbling over the edge, König thrusting up so hard and holding there that he’s essentially supporting your entire weight on just his hips and lap alone. Your spend splatters across his torso, wet and hot as his own cum fills your hole, deep and heavy. 

He all but collapses back onto the bed, taking you with him for the most part. When his cock slips out you nearly choke at the sudden feeling of emptiness and the hot mess of his cum leaking out of you. 

“Hase…” König grumbles, voice gravelly.

“Yes, love?” You whisper back, your head resting on his pec turning to peer up at him.

He pauses for a long moment. You can see how the cloth shifts over his mouth. He frowns.

“Did I hurt you?” he asks, tone laced with worry. With regret. You chuckle and his eyes flutter shut in abject relief.

“You could never hurt me, braver Junge. My sweet darling,” you caress his cheek through the cloth and he nuzzles into it like a touch-starved feline, turning to press a kiss to your palm past the mask, “do you want to be untied?”

König shakes his head, his eyes remaining shut as his breathing finally returns to a steady, slow rattle.

“A little longer…” he quietly requests. You nod, settling against him.

[epickiya722]

"She's not really #1 Pro material, she's bloodthirsty, people just voting for her because she's attractive".

YOU BET NOT BE STANNING ANY VILLAIN, OTHER HERO OR WHO THE FUCK EVER BECAUSE ALMOST EVERYONE IN THIS DAMN SERIES IS READY FOR THE SMOKE!!

I'm sorry, but Miruko is one of the few Pro Heroes who remembers that being a Hero is a JOB and not some game for fame and she didn't need character development.

She went from delinquent to someone who took something they loved doing and used it to help people.

Is she a little wild? Yes, but look at the fucking villains?! What? She supposed to take it easy on villains who get more aggressive over time?!

Didn't Katsuki almost die in the beginning of the series because of the Sludge Villain?! A WHOLE CHILD COULD HAVE DIED WHILE THE PRO HEROES WERE STANDING THERE!!

Had Miruko been there, she would have hopped to it and saved his ass!!

THIS WOMAN IS TINY WITH RABBIT EARS AND A TAIL!! SHE ACTUALLY PUTS HER BODY ON THE LINE!! SHE HAS SUFFERED A LOT MORE PHYSICALLY THAN SOME OF THE OTHER PRO HEROES IN THE TOP TEN!!

And it's not like she's always wants to fight anybody or she's going around hitting people for no reason. Calling her "mean" feels like when people call Rock Lock "mean" and it rubs me the wrong way, always.

I'm sorry, but those two seem to be the only heroes most of the time to have sense.

"You're just horny, that's just it".

If you're someone who says this, you better not be simping over any of the male characters because they have a shirtless scene like "Oh, daddy 🥵".

Like anytime someone brings up people being horny for Miruko and hating people on it, it's like "why do you care", just block it out. And she is attractive! Oh, what? What's something about this dark skinned, muscled woman that makes her not attractive, hm?

I don't see anyone having a problem with people being horny over Lady Nagant, so why complain about people being horny over Miruko?

I have seen so much horny Dabi and Hawks art and yet no complaints?

I understand if someone complains about Miruko having too much of a snatched waist, way too big breasts and her skin being as light as paper in fanart. Come on now, she is not built like that and she is darker than me. And I have brown skin!!

But you cannot be the same person who whines about people having their horny Miruko art (when you can block them) and turn around and reblog horny art of other characters.

In my honest opinion, if not her, someone like Ryukyu or Wash deserves the top spots. And Crust deserves a fucking statue or something because that guy DIED saving Aizawa and went out with a smile. That is a guy that you can rely on!

Like if in canon someone like Endeavor can be #1 (mind you, the PUBLIC has influence on this, too, not just the fucking commission) and Hawks who has fucking fans horny for him in canon, then why the fuck can't Miruko?

Why can't someone like her be #1?

"She's aggressive."

ENDEAVOR IS IN THE TOP SPOT BECAUSE? HE WAS #2 WHY?! WHEN THE PUBLIC IS WELL AWARE OF HIS ATTITUDE?!

SOME OF Y'ALL WHO BE COMPLAINING ABOUT MIRUKO WAS GETTING WET WHEN DABI WAS STEPPING ON HAWKS' FACE!

SO HER BEING "AggRessIVE" IS AN ISSUE BUT NOT WHEN SOMEONE ELSE DOES IT?!

THE DOUBLE STANDARDS IS REEEEEAL!!

[j2x3e]

Louanna is the strongest character in the world of Re: Zero.

Title.

No, this isn't a crack theory. Let me cook.

For some context, let me reintroduce who Louanna is because no one read side stories.

Louanna Astrea, mother of Reinhard van Astrea and wife to Heinkel Astrea. Her only role in the story so far is to make the family drama worse by sleeping. She got this Sleepy Beauty condition which is NOT the same thing as being Gluttony'd. She has been sleeping for 18 years since Reinhard was 2 (as of arc 8).

As we all know, Reinhard is stated to be the strongest character by Tappei Nagatsuki in a Q&A (I use his full name here so it's more intimidating). And we all know how reliable the Q&A are with the existence of arc 7+1.

Tappei might not be lying straight up, but he could have been easily saying a half-truth because he is Echidna. (the only way to write a manipulative character is to be manipulative yourself)

Reinhard IS the strongest character, but only among the ones who are awake.

Reinhard's secret to his power has never been explained in the series other than Od Laguna simping over his rizz. We are supposed to take that as face value and believe it.

This is a trap set by Tappei. He wants all of you to think this way. Wakey wakey.

Reinhard is strong because Louanna is strong, this is all genetic. Have you ever wondered how this pathetically weak drunkard has a son this strong? Louanna is strong, that's why.

Tappei has been hiding her lores in the side stories because she is going to be as important as Clind, the holder of the Melocholy WF.

In fact, judging from how much Tappei is holding up her lores, it is not a far stretch to say that she have a bigger reveal. Which is that she is stronger than Reinhard, a character we all already knew to be the most powerful.

Q: "But dude, if this rando plot device vegetable is really the strongest, how did she even get the coma sickness?"

Reinhard has been stated to be a monster in the series for multiple times, it is often to describe his monstrous strength to be inhumane.

But what if it was to taken literally?

Reinhard isn't actually a human, because he IS a monster. Well, half-monster to be precise.

While Heinkel is a pathetic weak normie human, Louanna is an actual monster. She has even been alive to witness the Witch of Envy devour half of the world, in fact, she is Flugel. (But that's another post for another day.)

Louanna is at least 400yo, so her flow of time is different from normal humans. That's right, her 18 years of slumber is not a condition or anything, she was merely napping. So stop trying to cure her, stupid Heinkel, she is fine.

Still in doubt? Look at Heinkel. He's so durable in the story. He has survived too many blunt attacks to still be living. Do you know why? Louanna trained Heinkel well during the three years she was married to him and awake.

She constantly beat up Heinkel, hence strengthening his durability. Yes, I believe that Louanna is a husband-beater, judging by the personality of Flugel according to Shaula.

We all know that Heinkel is Isekai Subaru, and we all know how affectionate Subaru becomes with his abusers. That's why Heinkel still loves Louanna and tries to 'cure' her. He loves being beat up.

From a bad master to a bad mother. Flugel is male, you say? She can shapeshift, she is the strongest after all. In fact, she is Pandora. Have we seen Pandora and Louanna in the same room before? No, we haven't. Louanna=Flugel=Pandora.

TL;DR: Stop claiming Reinhard or Satella or Regulus or Subaru or Petra to be the strongest, Louanna is. Stop coping. See the truth, dude.

Source: trust me bro

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

One of my favourite twst fanfics has the premise of the dorm leaders competing for the affections of an oblivious Yuu. In Leona’s chapter, Leona kept bringing fresh meat (as in live animals lol) for food to Yuu as a part of his courting ritual. (He gave her a rabbit once and she made it a pet called Mr. Rabbit Rosetarts after Riddle)

Ruggie was the one who pointed out to him that Yuu wouldn’t understand what beastman rituals were. Now, Leona’s mad that Simba and Nala have been giving him the wrong advice. Also, could you imagine that Leona was also bringing meat to a vegetarian Mc (that wouldn’t fly with my mc).

YES! YES! YES!

Yuu has been through hell and back in this world so she deserves to have handsome boys simping over her and having every single Disney animated character adopt her as a daughter/sister/niece.

When I was first brainstorming this AU I had this scene in my head where Ruggie and Jack were visiting her at her job and she notes to them how strange Leona is acting recently. When asked to elaborate she basically lists every single way male lions court females (at least the ones that would make sense. Let me make it clear that in no way, shape or form does Leona ever urinate on anything that isn't a commode) and Ruggie, Jack and practically every single animal is incredibly amused at how oblivious she is. I mean, practically all big cats have similar mating rituals like head rubbing/nuzzling so I can imagine Bagheera and Shere Khan just shaking their heads and chuckling at how adorably confused Yuu is when Ruggie just starts hyena cackling.

(why can't other cats nuzzle heads to show affection. The only time my cat comes near my head it's to eat my hair and yes she does it often)

Yuu is getting concerned with how hard Ruggie's laughing that she doesn't even catch his "holy seven, he's scenting her - he's shishi trying shi to shi cour-court shishishi" in between laughs as Jack can't tell whether to smile or also be concerned because Ruggie has been laughing really hard for a really long time, doesn't he need oxygen?

Yuu's just confused like 'why are you laughing? do you understand what's happening? is it a lion thing?'

Jack is like 'well-' before Ruggie covers his mouth and says 'yeah it's a lion thing' before offering no other explanation even when Yuu begs him to tell her because what if he's like sick.

He is sick, Yuu. He's incredibly love sick. He's also got a case of basorexia if you catch my drift.

Ruggie's just like 'when you get it, you get it' and so she just continues on with her work.

Don't think Simba and Nala are the only lions in the club giving bad advice. The OG LeonaYuu shipper, the icon himself, Scar is there plotting ways to get Leona together with Yuu. Only his strategic prowess usually leans more towards fratricide than it does romance.

In my head, I don't think Leona thinks Simba and Nala's advice was bad because he was raised to believe that lion courting rituals are the way to woo any female since it works for everyone in his family. He just thinks Yuu is too dense to understand what he's doing (I mean, she is)

I don't think Leona would give Yuu meat if she's a vegetarian whether he's romantically interested in her or not. It has nothing to do with respecting women - it's just a decent thing to do. He's very intelligent so he'd definitely know for sure that she doesn't eat meat even if she doesn't tell him. So we don't have to worry about that happening.

I also had this in mind from Yuu misunderstanding a blatant flirting attempt from Leona before she gets called away to another room:

"Of all the herbivores I had to fall for, it had to be her," Leona groaned, lifting his head from his crossed arms on the table to glare at the way Ruggie, Shenzi, Banzai and Ed were outright cackling at his frustration, "why can't she get it through her thick skull that I'm trying to court her?"

"Maybe because you're trying to attract her like she's a lioness," Ruggie stated, wiping a tear from his eye, "In case you didn't notice, boss, she isn't one."

"I know that," Leona griped, "she's nothing like the lionesses in my pride. She's ten times the lion I've ever met. I just don't get how she can be so-so-"

"Dumb?" Ruggie offered.

"Hey," Jack frowned at his upperclassman along with several other patrons who felt displeasure at the insult towards their beloved waitress, "she's a top student."

"You can get 100 percent in an exam and still be dumb."

"Well Yuu isn't," Jack crossed his arms, "she's one of the smartest people I know."

"I know, Wolfie," Ruggie smirked at his underclassmen's protectiveness, " I respect her as well but you gotta admit that even someone smart enough to defeat overblots without magic has got to be pretty blind to not see how everyone falls over their feet for her."

I forgot what would happen next which sucks because I actually really liked that one storyline I wrote in my head when I was tryingto fall asleep.

There was this other scene where Leona and Cheka are in the club and Cheka confused that Yuu doesn't get that she's being courted and Leona is the one explaining that humans and lionesses are different that I want to write out but I have a few WIPs that I feel really guilty not completing so I'll probably finish those first.

[bibimbinge]

10 BL boys I want carnally <3

Much much love to @ayansbff for tagging me!! I hope you know what you’re in for cause tagging me in a post to simp?? ok! I have a reason to SCREAM about these men who made me question my asexuality.

Mantrisanu - Jeng (Step by Step)

nobody but my acemate (@mooniyuta) knows just how obsessed I was with Mantrisanu during the Step by Step era. When I tell ya I forgot I was ace as soon as I saw his giant 1.90m ass on screen.. I forgot I was even a person. I am a squirrel needing to climb a tree. WOW! just WOW!! Step by Step? No! Step On Me.

Jam Rachata - Tinn/Jiu (Laws Of Attaction/To Sir With Love)

just Jam Rachata in general. He’s just a few years older than me but I will call him Daddy. When I saw him in Laws of Attraction I was intrigued then I stayed for the plot then I got hooked with their chemistry. Lucky for me I’ve never watched To Sir With Love before, so I did… and I can hear the wedding bells ringing as soon as I saw how his hunky meaty goodness handle that rusted half scissors turned murder weapon.

First Kanaphan - Alan/Sand (Moonlight Chicken/Only Friends)

I’ve been salivating for this man since Not Me. I suffered through The Shipper for this man. It’s not just his beautiful handsome gorgeous self that does it for me, its also his charm. Like he’s so charming and has this aura about him that’s just warm and homey. His smile is like the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. His eyes are just so sparkly and beautiful, if I ever meet him irl I’d probably trip over myself getting lost in them. I understand Khaotung not wanting to share him with anyone because I would do the same.

Bright - Yai (I Feel You Linger In The Air)

He’s so handsome I can cry. This man is like Jam x2. Like he has such a perfect face for male lead in romance genre. Where has he been all my life?? Maybe its Yai the character that feeds my deluluism, but when General Yai popped up in ifylita with a freakin porn stache and I wasn’t immidiately appalled, I knew I was a goner.

Neo - Boston (Only Friends)

Neo has always been cute to me. Catches my eye in every series he’s in but then Only Friends happened AND I WAS FLOORED!!! It was like ya know when you enter your teen years and that cute person you’ve grown up with had a growth spurt and you’re like daaaang when did you get hot 👀 Yeah that’s me with Neo.

Ohm Pawat - Pat (Bad Buddy)

specifically Ohm as Pat cause he was chunky and meaty and oof his arms were distracting as fuck. Anytime he showed up with that damn tank top I was like pls may I bite. He’s just so *feral animalistic growling* I personally love a man whos chunky meaty mucles and looks like they can lift me. AND HIS SMILE??? HIS TWINKLING EYED SMILE?!?!?!?! I’m gone. what a baaaabe!!!

Try imagining? alrighty if you say so 😚

Keita Machida - Kurosawa (Cherry Magic)

I remember watching cherry magic for the first time in 2020 and I was in awe. He is so dreamy and handsome. I hate to say it again guys but.. his smile!! Like I’m obsessed with him!! Both me and bestie screamed when we saw him in Alice In Borderland (overgrown blondie with roots showing and he is messy and he smokes and I was barely breathing) and then scream cried when his head EXPLODED!?!?!?!) Anyway, I’d marry this guy. like legit.

Earth Pirapat - Jim (Moonlight Chicken)

I am not done with the young dilfs. I have no other words other than !! HIM !! like I would need to make a seperate Earth appreciation post to start talking about him. This post is getting too long anyway so I’m gonna not say much here but.. just know I would drop everything for him.

Papang - Gumpa (Not Me)

my need for Papang to suffocate me in his tiddies arms is like my human need to eat to keep myself sustained. He just looks like the best recharging station. That doesn’t make sense but it makes sense.

Even going through the gif list to choose a Papang gif gave my tummy flips

Bosston Suphadach - Pruk (Between Us)

THERE’S A NEWBIE ON MY LIST WOO!!! I feel like because he hasnt been here long and has only played sub-minor parts, people forgot about him .. BUT I. DID. NOT. <3 Did you see him in between us alongside Sammy?? Yes. I too would be purposefully tripping in front of him so that he can hold me in his big strong arms. Also him and the doctor in Be My Favourite?? SIIIIICKKK!!!! Let’s just say I’m excited to watch their spinoff next year ✨

I’ve got a few more but these men are mainly the ones that I need to have. In conclusion, Big Guy, Big Arms, Big Smiles. Love them, Love Him.

thank you lovely gif makers @zhivchik @mushiemadarame @rayandgay @wanderlust-in-my-soul @kiyosuku @warmday @sunsetandthemoon @bunnakit @daikunart and lovely moots @dramalets @drama-nonsense @mooniyuta @mooninagust @these-emo-thoughts @sparklyeyedhimbo @khaotungsfirst @blue-grama @absolutebl @troubled-mind who enable this obsession.