#And whether or not they all get happy meal toys to play with so Nightmare can have peace for an hour

[somegrumpynerd]

Do you think it bothers Dust that Killer doesn't seem to have any remorse for doing the same things that haunt him in a very literal way? Do you think it bothers Killer that Dust pretends not to feel anything when he's lost the luxury of feeling? Do you think it bothers Horror to hear that Cross was raised with his Alphys like a sister when his betrayed him? Do you think it bothers Cross that Horror is part of the gang when he still has an au and people to go back to, where Cross feels like he'll never have his again? Do you think Nightmare gets them all happy meals when they've been good?

[fantasy2739]

Could you write a fic with baby Douxie and Merlin??? Like it just seems like a cute idea!

She’s back!!! I hope this works for your request, can always do Merlin finding Douxie as a baby if you like.

Also some of you may have seen that I’ve posted my works onto ao3 so people can find them easily!

The baby garbled at him. Merlin stared at it with something between disdain and concern. He didn’t know what Hisirdoux had done. Whether it was a potion, magical accident, or one of Morgana’s pranks, he didn’t know. And he didn’t want to know. Well he did, so he could reverse it. And have his normal, gangly, bumbling apprentice back. He didn’t seem to be having much luck. The baby made another noise. Merlin sighed and picked the... thing up. How did one even hold a baby? They seemed so fragile. What if he dropped him? Would it leave permanent damage? Would Hisirdoux be okay when he went back to normal? What about food? Did babies eat normal food? Merlin tried to hide the resounding panic. He considered if babies were like dogs and horses. Could they sense fear? Would this small form of Hisirdoux know he was absolutely terrified? Merlin tried his best to hold the baby close. He remembered how he’d seen some mothers hold their children and attempted to duplicate it. Luckily Hisirdoux seemed to be an intuitive child and wrapped pudgy arms around his neck, snuggling into his shoulder. Merlin patted his back a little in what was meant to be a soothing gesture. Fortunately Hisirdoux seemed to like that and let out a noise that could be considered happy. Maybe content. Oh who was Merlin kidding he didn’t know anything about children. He’d have to go commandeer a wet nurse or someone like that. Was there even a wet nurse around? He couldn’t recall seeing many children in the castle so maybe he would have to go to town. There was a scuffle and Archie came in to view.

“Oh my, what’s happened to Douxie?” The cat asked. Merlin almost rolled his eyes, but Hisirdoux had heard Archie and was now flailing small arms at him with excited noises. Perfect.

“Watch him.” Merlin ordered, settling Hisirdoux on the ground. The baby immediately started scrambling towards Archie. He clearly couldn’t walk yet. “I’m going to find a wet nurse.” Before Archie could protest, Merlin swept out the room.

He returned an hour later, wet nurse less and unamused to one of the most adorable things he’d ever seen. Not that he’d ever admit it. Hisirdoux was curled sweetly into Archie, big eyes following the cats tail as it whipped back and forth. Pudgy hands would occasionally dart out to try and catch it. Accompanied by a giggle. Merlin smiled before smothering it.

“I take it you couldn’t find anyone to help?” Archie said, batting his tail out of Hisirdoux’s reach. Merlin gave the cat a deadpan look, he was awfully sarcastic without Hisirdoux to mind him.

“I spoke to one who found this funny.” Merlin grumbled. Actually she’d laughed in his face and mumbled something about karma. “She told me how to handle this so you can shoo.” He reached down to pick up the baby. Hisirdoux started crying the moment he was pulled from Archie’s cosy embrace. Merlin’s eyes widened as the sobs grew louder. He tried pulling Hisirdoux close. Patting his back. Rubbing it. Nothing seemed to be working until Archie hopped onto his other shoulder. He batted his tail around and Hisirdoux began to giggle again. Small hands grabbed the appendage and rubbed it happily. Archie suppressed a hiss. Merlin rubbed Hisirdoux’s back.

“You clearly know exactly what you’re doing.” Archie quipped. Merlin rolled his eyes.

“I consulted with a wet nurse and she told me what to feed him and how to get him to sleep. The back rubbing should have worked.” Merlin said pointedly.

“What did she say about taking away his favourite toy?” Archie asked, eyeing the baby now gnawing on his tail. “Or did you leave before she could tell you?” Merlin puffed up his chest.

“I’m a Master sorcerer. I can manage a baby.” He said haughtily.

“So you left.” Archie confirmed. Merlin sighed.

“I left.”

It took a while but Merlin managed to extract Hisirdoux from Archie’s tail by tempting him with some milk. Hisirdoux guzzled it.

“Slow down Hisirdoux, you’ll get sick.” He chastised, tugging the milk cup back. Hisirdoux’s eyes began to well up with tears. Merlin sighed and gave in, letting Hisirdoux guzzle away. Now if he could put him down for a nap, Merlin could get some work down. After Hisirdoux finished his milk Merlin tried his best to soothe him. It took a while and lots of rubs, but Hisirdoux fell asleep clutching at Merlin’s hair. Gently, Merlin lowered him into a make shift cot with a baby blue blanket and tucked him in. He shuffled off to get back to work. Not a few minutes had passed when.

“Waaahhh. Waaaaaahhhhh!” Came from the crib. Merlin hurried over. Hisirdoux’s face was scrunched up like he was in pain. Merlin checked him over for injury and couldn’t find any. The wailing was louder and louder. Merlin was beginning to panic. What could be wrong? He searched the brief conversation he’d had with the wet nurse.

“Sometimes if babies consume too quickly or they swallow air with their meals they need to be burped. If they aren’t it can be quite uncomfortable for them.” She had said, still snickering. Maybe Hisirdoux needed that. He lifted the small thing up and began patting his back. The first hit was clearly too hard and Hisirdoux cried louder. Merlin reminded himself that this was a baby and he needed to be gentle.

“There, there.” He mumbled as he lightly patted Hisirdoux’s back. “Let it out.” It took a minute but eventually Hisirdoux let out a little burp. What Merlin wasn’t expecting was the spit that also came up. It dribbled off his shoulder, sticking to the armour. Merlin pulled a face of disgust. Still Hisirdoux couldn’t help it. He tried to put him back into the cot but Hisirdoux was having none of it. After tussling with the child Merlin realised he wasn’t going to win.

“I hope you realise this is a big compromise.” Merlin said sternly to the baby now settled in his lap. Hisirdoux looked up at him with big eyes and smiled. “Don’t give me that look. This won’t keep happening.” Hisirdoux giggled. “Just sleep would you.” Hisirdoux snuggled closer and quietly napped while Merlin got some work done. A few hours in and Hisirdoux started to get restless. Merlin paused his workings and began to rub his back. Maybe it was a nightmare. Did babies get nightmares? Could they comprehend fear? Or did they just want something? Was it the lack of contact? Merlin pondered all this as Hisirdoux settled down again.

“Heh, you’re almost cute when you’re sleeping.” Merlin muttered at the slumbering bundle. This wasn’t so bad. Of course right at this moment he was painfully reminded that Hisirdoux was a baby. And babies couldn’t control. Well anything. Now dripping, and smelling slightly, Merlin used magic to clean them both off. Hisirdoux woke up to giggle at the green magic wrapping around him. He tried to catch the strands.

“Oh like that do you.” Merlin cooed. “Well then.” He floated some objects in front of Hisirdoux and the baby clapped wildly.

“Aah aaaah.” Hisirdoux babbled. He reached up and captured one of the objects in his own sky blue. It floated and Hisirdoux cheered. Merlin was so surprised that the others things clattered to the ground. The object dropped and Hisirdoux looked at it with a big pout. Merlin picked it up and placed it on the table. He poked Hisirdoux’s check, distracting him.

“Aren’t you full of surprises my little apprentice?” He said. Hisirdoux gave him a warm smile. He made a grabbing motion towards Merlin, who obliged. Lifting him to his chest. “It would almost be a shame to have you turn back.” Merlin sighed. He did miss his apprentice. He missed the stumbling, grumbling, and even the lute playing. The baby was cute but his apprentice was special to him. He sighed again. Hisirdoux looked at him curiously. He reached one tiny hand out and patted Merlin’s cheek.

“Aagghh aggooo.” Hisirdoux babbled. Merlin smiled. He was sure it made sense to Hisirdoux; and it was sweet that the baby tried to comfort him. He cooed at the baby.

“Changing you back can wait a bit longer.” He mumbled as he rocked his charge.

[bunnylouisegrimes]

Unusual Thanksgiving (NOS4A2 Longish-Drabble Fic)

(A/N: As of writing this, it’s the weekend. I’ve noticed at least every weekend for a few weeks now I post some short little Drabble to help let out my emotions. Here’s another one that’s a little bit longer. With Thanksgiving coming up and my ass having little time to think of something and cook it up (pun intended), I thought I’d take the approach of having whatever come to my mind and writing it out. It’s a unique one, as you don’t usually associate horror and angst alongside the family fluffiness of Thanksgiving, but... here we are! I remember a while back I wrote how Rose’s parents would react to her having a relationship with Charlie, and that was one of my inspirations, alongside how rough things are this year. I’d like to wish you all Happy Thanksgiving ahead of time. Stay safe and enjoy a good ass feast. It’s been tough, and it’s had some highlights, but now’s the time we can all put aside our differences and whatever else bullshit and be thankful about what we do have this year; whether it be supplies or each other, we’ll get through this. 🧡🍂🍁🦃)

(Apologize for no Read More, posting this from mobile, and I found the image randomly, so if you want credit, let me know).

November is a beautiful and calming time of the year, but under certain circumstances, it can be oddly scary. This is most likely due to how dead the world is. There’s usually no snow, and what leaves remain are brown, have decayed from the trees, and collapsed to the ground to crumble and rot. I noticed this when I was younger, and part of me thought November was spookier than Halloween in some cases.

Of course, to me, any time of the year could be scary. Horror doesn’t stop and end at one point; it is an infinite occurrence that follows humanity wherever we go.

From the time I was a little kid, I would find horror in the most obscure of places. Scary movies never bothered me, and in fact, I was always excited when I watched them. What should’ve terrified me brought me nothing but adrenaline and fascination. Instead, odd things scared me, things most people would poke fun at if they saw my reaction to them, things most would shrug off. Call me Freudian, but perhaps my fears, just as yours are, are based in our differing subconscious minds, so there is no true definition of “stupid” horror.

The one thing that I know for certain that’s frightened me since I was younger are bees, wasps, yellow jackets, and hornets. Why these little yellow and black bugs terrify me, I will never truly know the answer as to why. Is it because they’re so small, yet they can hurt you so badly? Is it because of their appearance? I don’t want bees to die out, as I know of their importance, and bumbles don’t bother me because they usually leave you alone (and they’re oddly cute), but any other bee or wasp can stay away from me. I’ve never even been stung by one, yet one buzz or sight of one near me makes my body react instantaneously. I get away as much as I can and even scream sometimes. Not wise to scream or move a lot when you’re in their presence, I know. But when your body reacts the way it does, what are you to do?

When I was a little bit older, I would say roughly 8 or 9 years old, a new type of fear spawned its way into my mind: the fear of shadow people.

I don’t know what it is about those things either that scare me so much. When I first discovered I had this fear, I believe I was watching an episode of Ghost Adventures, and I saw them capture a really clear shadow figure on camera. It chilled me to the bone, and from then on, just the thought of one creeped me out. One particular episode where the crew went to an old, abandoned and haunted Tuberculosis sanitarium got to me because shadow figures were prominent there, and they actually captured two on camera going down a long hallway.

Shadow people, from what I’ve seen online, are very mysterious. They could come from another dimension, they could be demonic; some are harmless, others are harmful, and it’s all dependent on what experience you have with them. Zak Bagans and his crew have come across quite a few demonic ones, and their guests have usually described them as tall, thin, 6-7 foot tall entities that are dark both in physicality and energy. They look like an individual spray painted with pitch black aerosol, and darker than a room if it were void of all light. Sometimes they have red or white eyes, and sometimes they can have differing appearances that are just as terrifying as the blank appearances they often have. They can stand there and look over you while you’re sleeping at night, they can stand in a corner and stare at you, maybe rocking a bit, they could dart down a hallway, hiding from you, they can crawl on the floor, they can crawl on the ceiling... whatever it is they do, it’s all bone chilling to me, and I hate it all with a burning passion. I don’t care even if they were harmless: If I were to ever see one in real life, I would have a heart attack.

That is why I am thankful I’ve only seen them either when I’m paranoid for whatever reason before I go to sleep (but they’re not really there, my mind’s just playing tricks on me), or if I have a nightmare and they’re present. This story will focus on the latter.

*************************************************

Halloween, Charlie’s birthday on November 1st, the Election... it all came and left sooner than expected, and we needed to plan what we were doing about Thanksgiving. I know, a vampire who’s all about Christmas celebrating other holidays. It seems unreal, but I assure you, he has respect for other holidays as well. Christmas just happens to be his favorite and one that brings him and the kids lots of comfort and joy. They say Christmas is a state of mind and is never truly over, so... I suppose Charlie is just a living embodiment of that saying.

With COVID still in full swing, and cases breaking records everyday, people were stocking up on supplies yet again alongside their Turkey Day feasts. We knew we had to hurry up and order stuff the week before Thanksgiving at most.

Living in Gunbarrel, Colorado, away from everyone except for each other and the kids when we spent quite a few days in Christmasland each week, it was relieving to know we weren’t around tons of people. The virus wouldn’t affect Charlie or the kids, but me being the only human, and one with asthma, it would, so it was calming to not have to worry as much as many other folks about exposure. Not to mention, the town was small, and everybody knew everybody. Whenever we did enter town, which took 10 minutes to get to, we would see everyone keeping their distance and respecting each other. It was nice to see our small and (just about) off-the-grid community helping each other during these times.

The only two local stores were an Acme that everyone went to, and the Gunbarrel General Store, owned by a kindly old man who looked like Santa Clause named Sam. Before everyone rushed to Acme, we decided on doing a curbside pickup order, and picking up anything else that was not available at Sam’s, as he was sure to provide lots of Thanksgiving food.

It was going to certainly be an interesting Thanksgiving without my usual family, and not being back home, but I was going to call them on that fateful Thursday and talk to them for a few hours. Charlie and I would have a small dinner together, and we would spend most of the day in Christmasland with our children, dining on delicious food and laughing together. The thought warmed my heart and made me feel better about this Thanksgiving. We would be okay, and everything would be fine, despite my horrible dreams...

For whatever reason, over these past few weeks, my dreams were plagued with shadow people haunting me. No explanation was given, and no explanation would need to be given for it to still occur and damn near break me. Maybe it was some sort of unresolved issue going through the back of my mind, maybe it was fueled by my stresses of being busy lately, but regardless of whatever the issue was, I was haunted by them. The day after Charlie’s birthday, we watched the original Nosferatu together, and I fell asleep near the end, experiencing the first of these dreams.

I was walking down a dark and cold hallway. I was 8 years old again. I don’t know how I knew this, but it was one of those instances where you know a random piece of information in a dream. I was holding two small plastic My Little Pony figurines I got from Happy Meals at that time, a small Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash. I hadn’t seen those toys in years, yet there they were in my hands. When I looked up, a shadow person was standing near the end of the pathway. It stood tall and authoritative, looming over me as if it wanted to grab me and drag me down the corridor straight into Hell, or wherever it came from.

I took off running, and it crawled on all fours after me. I screamed and kept running until I came across a goofy, tall, and lanky figure: Count Orlock, or the actual Nosferatu himself, was standing there. I hid behind him and begged him to protect me. He smiled his stupid smile and looked down at the shadowy behemoth. It seemed to back down a bit once he snarled at it. It backed up behind a corner, peaking at us once before vanishing.

My relief was short lived for only a few moments because Orlock wandered off into the darkness.

“Where are you going? Come back here!” I tried to call after him, but I was cut off by the shadow figure crawling on the ceiling and grabbing me. I gave a scream and found myself awake on the couch, springing to life and hearing the opening music to Downton Abbey greeting me. Charlie had tuned in after the movie. He looked at me with a confused and concerned look. I explained everything to him and he comforted me, laughing at the thought of the original Nosferatu visiting me.

The dreams afterward were more terrifying than the first. One dream featured a shadow person staring over me as I slept, another featured one standing in the corner of the room twisting and contorting its head violently. The third had a shadow figure hunched over near a window within an abandoned building. I was walking through the woods in another nightmare when a whole group of them were peaking at me through the trees. I ran down another hallway and one was behind me. I was in an unknown house and down the hall near the steps, one was charging towards me. Each time, I would wake up and feel unsettled. Charlie would comfort me, but it was always hard to fall back asleep, for I feared I’d be terrorized by the evil onyx creatures wanting nothing more than to consume me in their shadowy force and make my soul rot.

Despite all of my terror and the tiredness that accompanied my days, the focus for today would have to be Thanksgiving dinner.

“My mom mailed me the recipe to her sweet potatoes last week, and let me tell you, they are actually sweet and delicious,” I told Charlie. “So you can put down all the ingredients for that. We already got turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes written down... Oh! Green bean casserole, put that down... and we need apple and pumpkin pie. We already have whip cream and gravy in the fridge, and cider is in the cabinet. I think that’s everything.”

Charlie nodded and wrote these things down. Once he was done, he looked over the list and showed me.

“Yup, that’s everything! Alright, let’s look up to see what Acme has.”

As I pulled up the site on my phone, he spoke up.

“Rosie, are you bothered by not seeing your family? If so, we can visit them on Thanksgiving Day or I could go the extra mile and bring them here if you’d like.”

I sighed and rubbed my temple. “I’m alright, baby. I know they’ll be alright too. Things seem to be... okay between us, even if we did get into arguments since last we spoke in person.”

He looked down and felt guilty.

“Hey, don’t you feel guilty,” I reassured him. “It’s their fault, not yours. They see you in whatever light they want to, but I know who you really are, and I love you. I don’t care what they say or think about you, hence why I’m sticking by you and left with you to come here.”

He nodded and pulled me close to him, resting his chin on my head. “I admit, my darling, I am constantly bothered by this thought that I have destroyed the relationship you have with your family.”

“Like I said, they’re the ones that can’t accept that you and I truly love each other. I’ve been patient and offered them every chance to accept you. I’ve explained and talked to them, but they don’t want to listen to my reasoning. I don’t know what else to do.”

He kissed me on the cheek and said, “I’m glad that you at least still talk to each other.”

“Me too. At least we have that... but let’s not worry about that. We got food to focus on.”

We ordered everything that we could (the only things not available until the week of Thanksgiving were the two pies, but we knew Sam would have them). When the time came, we loaded into the Wraith and the trunk was packed with our dinner. We stopped by the General Store and Sam happily gave “Father Christmas” (as Charlie was known as) the pies. Since it was still light out, we decided to go for a drive to enjoy the autumn weather. As I mentioned before, November is usually dead and brown, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t peaceful and calm. We observed the soothing and cold weather as Fleetwood Mac and The Doors sang along on the old radio.

While gazing at the brown leaves and bare trees rocking their branches above us, I drifted off to sleep without even thinking about it. Stevie Nicks and Jim Morrison’s voices melted into oblivion as I found myself walking through a tranquil forest of dead trees. Cold, I wrapped my arms around myself until I felt a bit warmer, and I saw a grove of orange trees. It was as if I teleported back in time to October, and the trees were still alive with vibrant color.

I ran over to them, taken aback by their beauty. The leaves that were on the ground were still orange, and I tossed them up into the air with childish carelessness. At last! For once, I was having a good dream!

However, that enjoyment would be cut short when I looked into the distance in between the trees. The world and my joy winded down like a dying record player.

From somewhere beyond the misty horizon, a pair of white eyes were watching me.

Dread hit me and I ran away. The trees began to rot again, and the orange faded into brown. The sunlight morphed into fog, and the warmth dissipated from my body. I fell to the ground, tripping over my own clumsy feet.

Now I was somewhere entirely different. I was in a dark, unfamiliar bedroom. I couldn’t move except for my eyes, like I was suffering from sleep paralysis. I looked up to see the shadow figure that was hiding behind the trees. Its white eyes were dimmer than before, and its solid black body cast lighter shadows behind it. I tried to scream, but I could only choke out vocalizations as it covered my mouth.

It lifted its ice cold hand from my mouth and pointed to the left. My eyes glanced in that direction and a scream broke from my throat.

A pointy eared demon with beady eyes, a close together face, and a sickening smile was on top of my chest. Its body was too dark to make out any notable features, but it was lighter than the shadow next to me. The pressure on top of me crushed the life from my lungs. It continued to smile, as if nothing in the world bothered it at all.

Before my scream ran out of air, it wrapped its cold hands around my neck and tightened to the point it was strangling me. The rest of my scream died out, my eye sight was fading until it was only a pinhole...

Air rushed into my lungs as I jolted into a conscience state once again. My eyes darted rapidly and my body clung to the leather seat of the Wraith. We were no longer driving, and instead parked in the garage. A wave of nausea flooded my head and stomach, and I pressed my hand to my eyes. My mind finally registered Charlie’s soft voice.

“Rose! My sweet Rose! Whatever is the matter?”

“I... Jesus Christ... I... had another nightmare... this was... Good God, how else could I describe it?!”

While we gathered the groceries into the house, I detailed my horrifying dream to him. He was immensely disturbed and decided enough was enough.

“I know you believe in ghosts and demons and the sort,” said he, “and I know such things exist, since I’ve seen spirits and souls before. Because of this, you and I can pray before you go to sleep tonight. Unlike other vampires, holy things do not bother me, unless I were to drink or touch holy salt or holy water, in which case I would feel some discomfort thanks to the darker side of my being. I have an old angel doll that my daughters used to play with and hold whenever they felt uncomfortable or scared. That could help you too. I will hypnotize you and make you have sweet dreams. If any dark entity is going to mess with you, I will protect you. I don’t think you have an attachment, but these dreams are certainly unusual.”

I agreed to all of this. That night, we said a prayer together, I snuggled with the angel doll, and he hypnotized me to sleep. I had a dream I couldn’t remember, but it was certainly the most peaceful I had in a while, and it was even better then the beginning of that nightmare I had that evening.

A sense of purity filled my heart, and I knew nothing dark would ever hurt me or anyone I loved, as whatever God that may be out there as my witness.

*************************************************

Thanksgiving arrived at an unbelievably fast rate. No other bad dreams tormented me, and I couldn’t have felt more happy. Charlie and I worked together to prep dinner. When I finished making sure the turkey was good and putting it in the oven, Charlie presented me with a package.

“It’s from your home,” he observed.

I opened it up at the dining room table and I couldn’t believe my eyes.

It was the Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash figurines from my childhood. Underneath them, was a heartfelt letter from my family, detailing how they had recently found these toys and thought of me. They missed me, and they even apologized for all of their harsh words against me and Charlie. They gave it some thought, and they came to the conclusion that as long as I was happy and in love, and as long as Charlie truly loved me and treated me well, then all was perfectly fine. They wished us a very happy Thanksgiving from 2 hours ahead and many miles away.

Tears fell from my cheeks. I was crying of joy for more than the obvious reason being that my family and I were rekindling together.

I realized now why I had such horrible dreams. It was either my worries and fears of my family not being together haunting me, or maybe even some dark force, but Twily and Dashie here weren’t random parts of that first dream at all; they served as symbolism. They represented hope and familial innocence long lost, now brought back to light. Maybe they sent a message out in the universe to my family that Charlie was a good man. That could also be why Orlock was protecting me in that same dream, but him leaving symbolized my family keeping Charlie away from me, therefore causing bad things to happen to me. And perhaps when Charlie helped me and cleansed all darkness (regardless of it being real or not), those ponies knew ahead of time he was going to do that, and reassured my family he was always going to protect me. It sounded bizarre, but it was the best reasoning I could come up with to explain these odd coincidences.

I immediately called my family afterwards and told them everything. They were chilled themselves because my mother had a dream the night before about Charlie bringing forth bouts of light to protect me from a wave of darkness, and she thought it was her brain processing her acceptance of him, but now that my story was told, it made things even clearer.

We concluded talking by coming up with a date to have dinner together and to see each other again back home. We exchanged I love yous and Happy Thanksgivings, and I hung up feeling thankful. As Charlie and I ate a bit of dinner, as we went to Christmasland, and as we ate lots of food with our children, warmth and light abundant, I was grateful that I had the family I did, the boyfriend and children that I did, and the light that still shined in the universe, even on the most darkest of days. This year has been hard, but gratitude for all the good, hope, and love, even when we’re distant figuratively, literally, or both, makes this holiday season a brighter one.

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

Secret baby ch 16

Kiyoko wakes Dabi up before he can shut his alarm off, a soft whimper that drags him up from sleep softly. Kiyoko whimpers a little more and he throws off his covers quickly climbing out of his sloppy nest to pull her out of her crib.

“You’re okay, Kiyo.” He soothes her with his broken purring, as he checks her diaper and the time. He still has 2 hours before his alarm would have gone off. They are both getting better at sleeping through the night, the sleeping medication has helped Dabi sleep deeper and helps him get back to sleep after a nightmare. Kiyoko ends up needing a diaper change and at this point in the morning it's easier for Dabi to shower with her and get them both ready for the day. The water immediately distracts Kiyoko from being fussy. She loves shower time, slapping at the water droplets with her hands and wings as much as she can. She’s a happy baby who rarely fusses for Dabi and is such a joy for him. He dresses her in a shirt that mimics a strawberry with a green ruffle on the bottom and leggings with more small strawberries decorating it, finishing her outfit off with a matching headband. She giggles and blows raspberry kisses at him the whole time he gets her changed.

Clean and dressed Dabi starts breakfast and checks his schedule. There are a couple appointments already and a new client is begging him to come and help him clean up his apartment as soon as possible. There are a few texts that follow mentioning something about a girlfriend with some crude language sprinkled in asking Dabi to help him get laid. He checks the next free day he has and sends the customer 2 prices. One for today and one for next week, both are increased from his normal baseline for having to deal with the language. In the past he would have accepted it and taken the client as soon as he could, now he can afford to put it off or even refuse him. While he waits for a response he sits Kiyoko up in her high chair. It’s a new one with the money bought from his first job, it has a shelf that rotates so on one side is some toys for her and on the other side there is a small tray for finger food and an indent for her bottle to sit.

Kiyoko babbles as she shoves pieces of egg into her mouth, occasionally offering a piece up to Dabi , then takes tiny chubby hands and pushes the rest off onto the floor when she is full. Dabi will clean it up in a few minutes, he almost wishe he had a dog right about now. He has to lay out her blanket and toys for her first. At 7 months along she can already army crawl around on her belly, she moves fast and takes off whenever she is set down. No destination that Dabi can figure out, only forward until a toy catches her eye and she zooms over. He slowly finishes his breakfast and takes his scent blocker as he watches her make her way around the living room.

He glances at the time and scoops her and the toy she is currently playing with up off the floor, slipping her wings through the carrier and settling her in before grabbing her diaper bag and heading out the door, locking it behind himself.

In the month since his first mission Dabi has done 5 more messenger missions for Giran. None have been urgent like the last one and all of them have gone off with relatively little trouble, there had been one guy who had needed a personal space reminder. He had taken a look at Dabi’s slim build and gotten handsy but with a raising of his quirk he had left a large burn scar on him. Giran had been furious when he heard and told him that he would get it taken care of, at first Dabi had apologized but Giran had shut it down, emphasizing that he would be taken care of and thanking Dabi for bringing it to his attention. He had gotten his whole pay amount for that mission, Giran not taking the 15% back like he usually did for Dabi’s original loan.

On the bus to his first client’s residence, he and Kiyoko get a lot of stares and a couple small children try to grab onto Kiyoko’s wings fluttering in the air. He keeps her carrier raised out of the reach of curious fingers and glares daggers at the parents who giggle at their kids' actions, thinking him overprotective when kids are trying to tug on his daughters delicate still filling in limbs. Kiyoko stares up at him and blows spit bubbles and baby talks up at him, babbling increasing excitedly when his earrings catch the light and sparkle, she’s not in the least bit put off by her dad’s crabby face.

After the clients home is done and Dabi has thanked them for their business he treats Kiyoko and himself to lunch at a fast food place. The employee smiles at him when he asks for a cup of hot water to heat Kiyoko’s formula and offers to microwave it in the back for him instead. He gets himself a meal, a treat he couldn’t do before, and when his meal is brought out Kiyoko’s bottle is on the tray. The fast food joint tends to be one of his favorite places to eat, no one coming over and bugging him and his daughter or making small talk. He helps Kiyoko stand on the seat beside him when she finishes her bottle and she bangs on the table with her fists, making as much noise as possible. He takes the time to check his messages again, the client starts cursing at him for his raised rates so he blocks the number. It feels good to be able to do that now. When she’s tired herself out a little Dabi calls the bus and changes her in the restroom. By the time he’s eaten Kiyoko is starting to drift off for a nap and the bus is here to take them to Dabi’s next appointment. This time it’s mostly helping out with yard work and helping the ederly man do basic chores such as vacuuming or meal prepping to make cooking easier for him. The man is kind and jokes around with him, occasionally telling stories about his wife and when Dabi goes to leave he shakes Kiyoko’s little hand as well as his own. Dabi nods off on the way home, exhausted and taking a seat with Kiyoko’s carrier balanced on his lap, he wakes himself up as he gets off the bus and starts mentally preparing dinner. He settles on mac and cheese with hotdogs. Easy enough to make and something Kiyoko can try little bits of. 

Dabi flops down and turns on the tv for background noise as he eats. He stretches his legs out so the rest on his coffee table and stands Kiyoko up in between them, legs hooked under her armpits. The news starts playing and he sits up straighter as a blur of red comes on the screen. It’s Hawks, he looks different somehow on the news, all flashy heroic smiles. He’s talking to the reporter on the scene, a woman in the back struggling as she is put in a car by police. The top story title scrolls along the bottom of the screen,’Newbie Hero Hawks takes down a smuggling ring with minimal casualties’. So Hawks had been his hero name after all, watching the alpha smile so fakely and charm the reporter he’s glad he left. Hawks is just like all the other heros, he’s just a better liar than most.

Dabi scoops Kiyoko up and holds her close, purring and scent marking the top of her head. Kiyoko begins crying as she smells how distressed her dad is and drops her toy on the floor. Bouncing her and pacing around his small living room. He stands up to sway her and for something to do with his nervous energy as he watches Hawks finish up the interview and flutter his wings in preparation for take off. Kiyoko happens to turn around and see the TV as her other father unfurls his wings and shoots off into the sky. Dabi is still pacing and swaying with her, more to keep himself calm than her. She flops herself over his shoulder and unfurls her wings, letting out a loud shriek as she reaches with both hands out for the man with red wings on TV. Dabi winces and almost drops her in shock, that had been right in his ear. His daughter flaps her wings hard,smacking him in the face and managing to get herself airborne for a small moment. Dabi grabs her around her middle and doesn't know whether to laugh or cry, single parenting has already been hard enough and now his daughter has started trying to fly.

[dumplingsspookysweeties]

Merskeleton bitty information

Here is the information for our merskeleton (fish) bitties!

cut below for length

Blue tang (tale!sans mer bitty):

 though not exactly like the fish, this merskele loves to doze on rocks either above or below the surface!

 Keep him happy with any food you find tasty or let him experiment!

 does well alone or with companions, though his personality tends to clash with the more belligerent bitties of all types.

 Goldfish (tale!Papyrus mer bitty):

 Much more energetic, intelligent, and loving than his namesake!

 Loves cuddles and will happily swim in your pool with you, but keep him away from running filters! He’ll get stuck and very unhappy until he is removed from the machinery.

 Loves fresh fruit! He’ll eat most anything, but giving him fruit makes him happiest.

 Does best with friends, either other mer bitties or land dwellers!

  Hammer (fell!Sans mer bitty):

 Make sure his tank has a large structure or plant for him to sulk in.

 Tends to be grouchy but will enjoy cuddles despite this behavior.

 Big appetite and loves meat

 does best on his own, or with a calm and resolute companion

  Emperor (fell!Papyrus mer bitty):

 likes to collect things (try using tiny sculptures or other objects of beauty) and decorate his tank with his collection

 will be very tsundere; give him time alone with you and he’ll warm up

 Barely eats, but enjoys fish

 does best alone, but will also thrive as a leader in a community

  Parrot (swap!Sans mer bitty):

 will help other bitties, especially if they’re nervous around water.

 energetic, compassionate, and talkative

 likes crunchy things, and sugar

 does best with friends! lots of friends or just one, either way, he’s happy

 Garibaldi (swap!Papyrus mer bitty):

 will snooze in the sunny side of the tank or watch TV from a comfy spot

 calm, patient, and kind

 enjoys sweets and gooey things to eat (honey, gummies, smores etc)

 can do well alone or in a group, but doesn’t like confrontation

  Lion (fellswap!Sans mer bitty)

 wants to smash stuff! give him toothpick sailboats and popsicle stick galleons to destory

 tends toward mischief, but is a protective bitty once trust is earned

 enjoys meat and fish

 best on his own or with one other bitty. not a social butterfly.

 Wright (fellswap!Papyrus mer bitty)

 very large when having lived with a loving owner, so he may need to be moved to a tub or pond after a year or so.

 gentle, thoughtful, and calm

 prefers shrimp, or other small, easily chewable things.

 best on his own or with one other bitty. tends to be shy.

 Scorpion (swapfell!Sans mer bitty):

 likes action! Needs toys and lots of play.

 bright, bouncy, and impulsive

 he’ll try anything once, so let him feel out his favorite foods for himself

 does best with lots of friends! especially responsible and level headed ones.

  Indigo (swapfell!Papyrus mer bitty):

 likes to collect shiny things and either decorate his home or his body with them.

 fast talker, flirty, and a trickster

 likes pizza, if you let him have some. otherwise, shrimp and fish are a good idea

 does best alone or with people who won’t fall for his tricks

 Fisher (Horror!sans merbitty):

 These mers are meat eaters, and they prefer to hunt but in absence of live prey will eat raw meat. Your other bitties are safe since there isn’t any meat in a monster. House them in a tank with others, but make sure they know to give  him his space for a while and not to mess with his food. He may also try to take the meat from other carnivorous mers, but won’t waste the energy to fight for it. Feed everyone as usual and if he steals some, gently scold him and give another piece to the bitty he stole from.

He’ll be snarky and sarcastic, tending toward dark humor and morbid puns, but otherwise a fun personality to talk with. He should get along well with Hammers and Garibaldis and other jokester types, though he’ll rub the kinder ones the wrong way with how casually he talks about death and injury. They’ll likely have a tentative, tense friendship or tolerance.

 Gulper (horror!Papyrus merbitty):

 These gangly, long tailed mer bitties swallow their meals whole and enjoy resting afterward, so having a safe, secluded place in the tank for him is recommended. When not resting, he’ll be very energetic and playful, even, especially if he has a Fisher to bond with. they prefer whole fish, so sardines are a good idea for feeding, but only one or two. He may ask for more, but you’ll know he’s had enough when his tail turns from translucent to opaque. Otherwise, he’ll eat himself sick.

 He’ll lean into your attentions, and enjoy time being pet and loved on. He’ll get along with most any bitty, mer or otherwise, but is wary of more aggressive housemates. His body may be long and flexible, but it’s also delicate, so fights aren’t a good idea.

 Frills (horrorswap!Papyrus merbitty)

 Another carnivore, he likes smaller chunks of raw meat. As a shark-ish mer bitty, he’ll move around a lot, but after a few circles of his tank, chatting with other bitties as he goes, he’ll settle down and nap for a while. Don’t hand feed until he’s adjusted to your home, because his teeth are very very painful if they bite you.

 He’ll let you pet and love on him, but be respectful of his wishes. He most likely won’t want you anywhere near the opening in his skull. Just let him place your fingers at first when offering affection, and soon you’ll learn your individual Frills’ favorite places for pets and rubs.

 Leafy (horrorswap!Sans merbitty)

 One of the only seahorse type bitties, Leafies enjoy hiding in plant material inside the tank. They’re not big eaters, only needing one or two fresh shrimp or bits of fish a day, but they do need some special care thanks to their open ribcage. All Leafies are born with complete skeletons, but as they grow, pieces of their ribs break away naturally until they’re open as a Crinkle bitty would be. It makes them just as nervous, thus they always come with some rib shields in their starter kits.

 They’ll be more energetic if in the presence of a Frills, or another swap!papyrus type merbitty. Even alone, they’ll still enjoy play and very gentle petting. Be sure to pay him lots of attention and remind him you love him often.

 Tendril (Horrorfell!Papyrus merbitty)

 These bitties have long floating tentacles and tend to enjoy a darker tank than most bitties. He’ll need lots of room to spread out.

 He’s pretty even tempered, and will eat any sort of fish or shrimp you offer. Does best if he’s either alone, or with a very small number of other bitties.

 Scales (horrorfell!Sans merbitty)

 Nervous and leaning toward violence to defend himself, these bitties need solitude or the company of calm bitties to feel safe. He eats meat of any kind, though obviously, being aquatic, he prefers fish or crustaceans. (he looks adorable crunching on crab legs)

 He tends to stick close to a leader, whether the person in charge of the group of bitties he’s in or his owner, or more likely a Tendril or other Papyrus type.

Vision and Mirage - (dream and nightmare)

these lovely fishies like shellfish, and they will help with fears. Visions specialize in giving positive energy so you can face your fears, while Mirages help you understand where your fear comes from and remind you that bravery is not having no fear, but continuing in spite of it. They’ll happily swim with you in any pool, pond, or lake, but will be happy to come back home to their tank and the little hiding places they call their beds. Place these hiding places close together, though, since they will want to quickly be in contact with their brother on waking for any reason.

Dark Mirages:

 will turn from a black and white clownfish tail to a vampire squid body. There will be spines inside his tentacles and they will be incredibly painful if latched onto you. He will also cause an instant panic attack if touched skin to skin or with very thin gloves. He will try to damage your fingers by squeezing them, so keep your fingers together when handling him. It will take time, but Mirages are (marginally) easier to make Safe.

Pastel (ink sans) -

His colorful magic makes him stand out in the tank, and he tends to occasionally cough up ink balls when overexcited. Prefers lots of space and things to engage his mind in his tank. Prefers vegetables but will take anything. His bones are textured like a scrimshaw etching and he likes to color them with different dyes.

Bluebell (error sans)- 

merbitties similar to the Man-o-war jellyfish, they have to have antivenom in their starter kits in case of accidents. Their tendrils are beautiful, but painful to encounter, and it takes them quite a while to get used to their new owners. They’re generally quiet, and prefer to eat fish.

Fanmouth (underworld mer Sans)

 - will need careful cleaning of his mouth fans once a month

 - enjoys shrimp and small fish

 - only one fanmouth per tank, or fighting will happen.

 - heavy for his size

 - will happily lay on your chest for his out-tank time

 - won’t speak, but can emote well and learn sign

 Stickies (underworld mer Papyrus)

 - will stick to the side of a tank

 - filter feeder when without a host

 - will cuddle, but may attempt to latch onto your arm or chest.

 - if he does, let him do his business (it won’t hurt) and then put him back when he detaches himself. treat the abrasion with disinfectant and a bandage, and it should fade in a day or two. may itch a bit.

 Conesnail (underworld swap mer Papyrus)

 -venomous if mishandled, use caution and gentleness

 - feed on small fish or shrimp

 - can survive longer out of water thanks to his shell

 - does have a pelvis tucked up in his shell

 - will sign for things he wants if you don’t understand his gestures

 Ring (underworld swap mer Sans)

 - tank cleaner

 - feeds on the algae and debris in the tank naturally but needs supplemental bits of fish about twice a week

 - will use his broken ribs as spears to prevent someone from harming him; these spears are coated in neurotoxin.

 - if treated gently, is completely safe and actually enjoys cuddles from his owners

 -gets their type name from the little sticky magic ring on their bellies that lets them stay in place

Frogfish (undertomb sans)

·         Had tiny little fin-feet that he walks around on the tank floor with

·         Big bulky body

·         Larger than average for a mer, and heavier, too.

·         Uses suction to get his food in his mouth

 Ribbon (undertomb papyrus)

·         Long squiggly body, delicate

·         Curious and energetic

·         Likes a well decorated tank with many plants and caves he can hide in

·         Will try to sing to you, use earphones as needed

[amazingmsme]

A Loyal Companion Part 2

For once, Klaus woke up well rested. His circles weren't as bad, and he was in a decent mood from his good night's sleep. He shook Ben excitedly, "Hey dude, guess what!"

Ben tiredly swatted at his hand, mumbling, "What?"

"I actually got to sleep! Without nightmares or screams!" Ben woke up a little more hearing this. He sat up, "Wait really? That's great," he said smiling, rubbing his eyes. Ghosts didn't have to sleep, but he preferred to. It was better than staying up constantly. Jasper was already awake and pawing at some of his toys. Klaus frowned seeing how he phased through them. It seemed he could only play with them when he was summoned... He figured he needed to fix that seeing that he couldn't summon him every time he wanted to play. He thought for a moment before getting an idea.

"Be right back buddy!" He snuck into Diego's room and nabbed one of his knives before rushing back. Jasper barked at him as he gathered all the toys, leaving not even a single one. He sat at his desk and began stabbing and shredding all of the toys.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ben asked. 

"Killing these toys. Not sure if it'll work, but maybe if I destroy them he can play with them without needing me. I mean if a cracked phone can have a ghost why can't a toy? You saw Toy Story, they're technically sentient."

"You do know those movies aren't real, right?"

"Of course I do! But maybe toys can die," he said trailing off.

"Great now I'm thinking about when all the toys thought they were gonna get burned alive," Ben said with a pout. Klaus giggled, "You we're crying in the theater," he reminisced.

"Hey!" Ben cried indignantly, pointing a finger at his brother, "So were you!"

"Yeah, but I don't deny it. Tears were streaming down your face and you were like "I got some salt in my eye!"" he teased. Ben sank deeper into the bed, trying to hide his blush with his hoodie.

"I had popcorn butter on my hands and tried to rub my eye," he defended himself in a small voice. Klaus snickered, "Only because you were wiping away your tears."

Ben frowned and narrowed his eyes. He lifted his hoodie, and a few tentacles snaked out. Klaus sat oblivious at his desk, stabbing the dog toys repeatedly. Suddenly the knife was yanked from his hand and held several feet above his head wrapped in the horror's grasp. Klaus shot his brother an annoyed look. Ben smiled and shrugged, shaking the knife tauntingly above his head. He jumped up, reaching in vain for the tool that was far out of reach.

"Real mature," he mused.

"Coming from you that means a lot."

"Can it," Klaus said. He walked over closer to Ben and jumped onto the tentacle that was wielding the knife. Ben sat back and watched as he tried to get it back.

"Ew I didn't know they were slimy!" he exclaimed wiping his hand off on his shirt. He slipped off and landed on the floor with a thud. Just then his door opened.

"Hey have you seen my pocket knife? I asked Five and he said he didn't-" Diego froze upon seeing his brother laying on the ground and his knife hovering in the air. It immediately fell and landed on Klaus.

"Ow," Klaus muttered and looked at his arm. There was a small cut from where the blade sliced him. Jasper came over and licked his wound. He glared at Ben, "You cut me." Diego watched as he hissed at the spot where he must be.

"Do I even want to know?" he asked. Klaus rolled over and stood, narrowing his eyes after seeing who stood in his doorway. "Probably not. But I'm borrowing your knife for a hot sec, I'll bring it down at breakfast."

"Oh," Diego said. He lingered, not sure what he should do or say. He watched as Klaus sat back down and violently stabbed a pile of dog toys. Fabric and fluff littered the desk and flew in the air. He cleared his throat, "Uh, how did you sleep?" he dared to ask. Jasper walked along the wall farthest from Diego before curling beneath Klaus' chair. He reached down to pat his head.

"For once, not like shit." He looked up and met his brother's eyes. They were full of worry and concern and damnit, it made it hard for Klaus to stay mad at him. "Thank you for checking up on me," he said.

"No problem." He took a step forward, "Do you, uh, want to talk about it?" He didn't know the terrors that Klaus had to live through on a daily basis, what he saw in the war, but he wanted to reach out.

"Nope," Klaus said, popping the p. "Jasper scared most of the ghosts away, cause he's a good boy! Yes he is!" he praised and rubbed his face. He barked happily, his tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth. He waved a hand at Diego, "You can go, I'll meet you downstairs."

He was hesitant to leave, but turned around and shut the door. Ben crossed the room, standing behind his chair. "You're still mad at him." It wasn't a question, but a fact.

"Of course, he's still an asshole who doesn't believe me. But he's an asshole who cares, so I'll give him that." A calm silence fell over them, the only sound coming from the knife shredding the toys. Finally, Klaus began to watch his vision change. While he could still see the remains of what was once dog toys, new pristine plushes laid atop the mess, slightly transparent.

"It worked! I'm a genius!" He pumped his fist in the air and tossed a few of the dead toys on the ground. Jasper immediately pounced on them. He bit them over and over, enjoying the squeaking sound it made.

"Aw look how happy you are! Who's a good boy? It's you!" he praised. Ben watched the scene fondly.

"You're gonna spoil the shit out of this dog, aren't you?"

"Yes I am because he deserves it! I mean he looks like he lived a rough life. It's my personal duty to give him the best afterlife as possible," he said, tenderly stroking his head. As if in understanding, Jasper sat right in front of him, resting his head in the crook of Klaus' neck. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a tight but comfortable hug. His tail wagged happily and he started bathing his face in kisses.

"Ohokay ohokahay," Klaus giggled, trying to move his head away, but no inch of his face was safe from Jasper's affection. He sniffed and licked his cheeks, making Klaus squeal when he licked his ear. His neck scrunched up to protect himself from the slobbery tongue, his nose crinkling as he laughed loudly. The wrinkles by his eyes displayed his joy to the world, and Ben smiled. It had been far too long since his brother had been so happy. In fact, it was the happiest he'd seen him in a long time. Whether or not the others believed him didn't matter, because Klaus needed this.

"Wanna head downstairs? I'm starving."

"I do believe I smell waffles," Ben said with a grin.

"Last one there's a fuckin' doofus!" Klaus said, bolting from the room, slamming the door in his face to create an obstacle. Ben was able to phase through it, but it did buy Klaus a few extra seconds. Jasper ran along side him and when he got too far ahead, he would stop and wait for his master to catch up before continuing. He looked over his shoulders and saw Ben gaining on his heels fast. "Shit," he muttered to himself. He jumped up on the banister and slid down quickly. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he made a beeline for the kitchen. He almost slid right into Luther thanks to his soft fuzzy socks.

Luther reached out to steady him, but he batted his hands away, "Let go of me I'm gonna lose!" he exclaimed. He gave no further explanation before he made a mad dash for the table. That was always their base when racing to the kitchen. He slammed his hand down triumphantly on the table, not minding at all that he disrupted everyone's breakfast. "I win."

Five grabbed his napkin and dabbed his cheek where some of his coffee splashed on his face. Allison smiled at Klaus who was still panting slightly from his run.

"You seem to be in a good mood," she said, happy to see the tension from the previous night didn't follow them into the morning. Klaus nodded, "Yeah for once I wasn't plagued by never ending nightmares," he said, barely loud enough for her to hear. None of them really knew about his problem with sleep, and he didn't want to dive into it right now. His face lit up when Ben entered the kitchen.

"Look who finally graced us with his ghostly presence! Mr. Slow Poke himself!" he boasted. Ben mock glared at him as he walked by and scrubbed his head, thoroughly messing up his hair. The rest of the Hargreeves just saw Klaus' hair shoot straight up out of nowhere, the sight making Diego snort into his glass of chocolate milk. That drew Klaus' attention and he dropped the knife in front of him, "Oh yeah here's your knife."

"Thanks," Diego said, picking it up and sliding it into his pocket. Klaus continued to sit away from his brothers, taking the seat across from Vanya yet again. His plate was stacked high with waffles and diced fruit. After drowning them in syrup, he grabbed the bowl of Grace's homemade whipped cream and spooned out a heaping dollop on the top. He grabbed a cherry and placed it in the center, kissing his fingers in the cliché chef gesture.

"Perfecto," he said before digging in. Jasper pawed at his leg and whined. Klaus scratched his head with one hand and gave him a piece of cantaloupe. Jasper happily took it, but spat it right back out, staring down at it in disappointment. "Why don't you like it?" He asked, bending down to pick it back up. The other siblings exchanged a look as he tossed it into the trash can. When he turned back around they all went back to their meals. He had a feeling something was off, but couldn't place his finger on it. Maybe his family still thought he was full of bull. Maybe it was how the ghosts lingered at the edges of the room, daring to get closer, all the while moaning and screaming. Or perhaps it was the fact that Klaus didn't know how to cope with the energy that came with a good night's rest. Whatever the reason, he chose to ignore it. Luther said something that grabbed Five's attention, and in a flash, Klaus reached over Ben's spot and nabbed a few pieces of bacon and sausage, hiding them in his lap under a napkin. He had enough to share; no one that small needed that much on his plate. He went back to eating his own food just as Five turned back to his plate. He stared down at his food before glaring around the table.

"Alright who took my food?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean who took my food? I know I had more on my plate than this," he fixed Allison with a hard stare, but ultimately decided she wouldn't have taken it. Plus he would've seen her out of his peripheral vision.

Vanya silently sipped her tea, hiding the slight upturn of her lips. She winked at Klaus who winked back, just out of sight from the others. He patted his thigh under the table, getting Jasper's attention. He placed his head on his knee, sniffing the air. He licked his lips, the wonderful aroma filling his nose. He fed him the pieces of meat with one hand while the other cut up the waffles with his fork. Five was in the midst of a stare down with Diego, who finally broke.

"Fine, it was Klaus."

"Aha I KNEW it!" he accused, whipping around and pointing a finger at him. Klaus acted oblivious and took a bite of his breakfast, slowly turning. "Huh?" he spoke with a mouth full of food.

"Don't play dumb, I know you're hiding my bacon and sausage under that napkin." Klaus smirked and stood, grabbing the napkin and holding it up for all to see.

"You mean this napkin? The one that's not hiding anything?" He waved it in front of his brother's face. Five ducked under the table to see if any of the food had fallen, but he was met with a clean floor. He huffed in frustration, "I know you took it Klaus."

"But I was too busy eating my delicious waffles, so where do you suppose it went?" he questioned, placing his hands on his hips to mock Five's own stance.

He immediately crossed his arms, "I don't know, maybe you fed it to your fake dog."

Klaus wagged his finger at him, "Ah ah ah, if he was fake your food would still be here." He sat back down, taking a drink. "Man, orange juice isn't as good without vodka," he said in disappointment.

"You're insufferable," he said. Klaus beamed, "You know it." Ben sat back in his chair, laughing loudly. Klaus smiled at him and offered a fist bump, which he gladly accepted. The rest of breakfast went without any other hiccups.

Klaus stood and grabbed his empty plate. "Hey guys, watch this," he said, balancing it on his head. He turned to Vanya, "Go on, stack yours." She giggled and shook her head, but he insisted. She gently placed her plate atop his own and he walked over to the sink where Grace was already washing dishes.

He bent down quickly and caught the China in his hands, kneeling down to present them to her. "Here you go Mom."

She smiled sweetly and patted his cheek, "Thank you Klaus, dear."

When he walked back by the table, Luther chuckled. "Did you join a circus or something after you left?"

Klaus twirled around to face him and shook his hips, "You'd be surprised at what all you can learn on the street brother." Vanya stood and pushed in her chair. "Where're you going?" he asked.

"To the library. I was gonna read something."

"Cool, can I come?"

"Sure."

"Good luck trying to read anything with him around," Diego said, pulling out one of his knives to polish.

"Shut up dude," Klaus said, sticking out his tongue. Diego stuck his out right back.

Vanya started to leave and Klaus followed. He stopped in the doorway, giving a low whistle.  "Jasper leave him alone, he doesn't have anymore food." Jasper froze where he stood on his hind legs, his front paws propped up on the table. His tongue lapped the edges of Five's plate, but he stopped once Klaus called him. He hopped down and jogged over. Five looked skeptically at his empty plate that seemed to move on its own, but when it didn't move again, he figured his eyes were just playing tricks on him.

Klaus skipped after his sister, leaving the rest of them at the table. Allison watched them go and smiled to herself, "He seems really happy."

"Yeah but is it... natural?"

Allison narrowed her eyes at Luther, "What do you mean natural? What, you think he's still on drugs?" she asked in dismay. Luther's mouth opened and closed as he tried to think of something to say.

"I'm just concerned for him." She rolled her eyes.

"Just because he's happy doesn't mean he's on drugs Luther."

"The only time he's this joyful is when he's high! I mean think about it, has he ever smiled that much while sober?"

"Yes, when we were kids! You seem to forget he wasn't always like this," she spat. She used to be so close with Klaus, but they drifted apart over the years. Still, that didn't mean she wouldn't go to the ends of the earth to defend him. "It's easy for us to be sober because we've never been addicted! Klaus has, and he's been through withdrawal, and he's still recovering. We need to support him."

"You heard all the stuff he says! He keeps going on about some dead dog he thinks he found; that can't be healthy for him," he tried to justify. She scoffed and folded her arms over her chest.

"It's better than him shooting up."

"She has a point," Diego chimed in. "And I was there when he supposedly found Jasper. He seemed to think it was pretty real."

"And don't forget he can see the dead," she said pointedly.

"Yeah well, it wouldn't be the first time Klaus has made something up for attention," Five said. She threw her hands up in annoyance, "Can we not do this right now? And you have got to stop instigating fights because all you're doing is making things worse, and one of these days, we won't help you control the situation."

"Please, this is Klaus we're talking about. He won't do anything too drastic, maybe scream and insult me, give me the silent treatment for a few days, and then he'll forget all about it."

"You know, you're being a real ass."

Five smiled sarcastically and held his hands out to the side, "What else is new?"

"If he is doing this for attention then what does that say about us, huh?" Allison asked. None of the men around her looked up, so she continued. "You can't deny we've been neglectful to him in the past. If he's this desperate for our attention then we need to reach out to him, see what's wrong."

"Allison's right," Diego spoke up. Allison tossed her hands up, "Thank you!"

"I don't think he's really been okay ever since he got kidnapped by Hazel and Cha Cha. And we've been so focused on trying to help Vanya, we've kinda forgot about his problems," he said, his words heavy with guilt.

"But he seemed like he was okay," Luther said, ever so oblivious. Diego fixed him with a look, "Can you stop being stupid for just one second? People pretend to be fine when that couldn't be farther from the truth! Klaus has always hid his problems with jokes and sarcasm, that's just how he copes. Last night when I was getting a drink I heard him screaming, so I went in to check on him. He had woken up from a nightmare, but wouldn't talk about it," he confessed. This seemed to shock the others at the table.

"Was he okay?" Allison asked. He shrugged, "He seemed like he was calming down and asked me to leave."

"We have to be better," she said. They all nodded in agreement before heading their separate ways.

Meanwhile, Klaus scanned the shelves in the library as Vanya sat on the couch reading. He pulled out a copy of Moby Dick and held it up to Ben, placing his hand over the word "Moby," giggling madly. Ben couldn't help but chuckle, "You're so immature."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said sliding the book back onto the shelf. He went farther back into the library, browsing the many children's books from when they were kids. Grace would read to them before bed every night, and Klaus smiled at one of the only good memories from his childhood. In the farthest corner tucked away from everything else was a box on the bottom shelf caked in dust. He slid it onto the floor and Jasper sniffed it, sneezing loudly once the dust entered his nose. Klaus blew on the lid and wiped it off with his hand, grimacing in disgust at the brownish grey powder covering his skin. He looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching and rubbed it off on the carpet. Ben kicked him lightly in reprimand.

"Hey!" Klaus cried and grabbed his ankle, trying to tug him down to the floor as revenge. He managed to keep his balance and flicked Klaus's ear. He huffed in annoyance, dropping it. He opened the box, and Jasper shoved his large head under his arm so he could get a good look inside. He leaned in, inspecting the old children's chapter books. Many were old copies of Junie B. Jones and The Magic Treehouse. Grace had insisted for Reginald to let them to read fiction instead of only historic facts, and he only allowed it because it successfully kept them out of his hair when he was too busy.

He pulled out a few copies but eventually settled with Monster Under My Bed; he remembered it was one of his favorites. He slid down against the wall, Jasper immediately curling up on his lap. He was too big to fit, so he settled with the front of his body atop Klaus' legs. He was sure that if he was still alive Jasper would crush him due to his size alone, but his apparition was lightweight and caused no discomfort.

You'd expect for him to be slightly cool to the touch, and perhaps he was to other people, but to Klaus he was almost as warm as a living creature. Klaus stroked his back, mindful of his adorning scars.

He patted the space next to him with his other hand, motioning for Ben to sit next to him. He did, making himself comfortable by resting his head on his brother's shoulder. He tried to pet Jasper too, but everywhere his hand moved, Jasper followed and practically bathed his hand in slobber.

"Thanks for that," he said dryly, but gazed down at the dog lovingly. Klaus cleared his throat before reading, trying to do his best impression of a little girl.

"My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice, but I don't like Beatrice, I just like B and that's all," he started. These books all had the same opening line, and he felt a warm wave of nostalgia wash over him. "Wait a minute," he said to himself. He stood up, grabbing the book and heading over to the couch. Vanya was curled up into the arm of the sofa. Whatever book she was reading held her full attention until Klaus stuck his arm out from behind a shelf and waved the thin paperback copy, "Look what I found!"

She looked up and smiled, recognizing the familiar colorful cover. "I had forgotten about those," she said. He stepped out and made his way over, "So had I." Ben and Jasper had followed him and now they all sat on the couch. He was sure that for Vanya it didn't seem crowded, but for him the fit was a bit snug, but in a cozy way. He nestled deeper into the cushions, "Mind if I read out loud? I thought it might be kinda fun."

She shook her head with a smile, "Go right ahead." Klaus started reading and they all listened, laughing at the kindergartener's antics. It was nice for them to picture a normal childhood, seeing as they had been deprived of that. The illustrations were cute and the jokes were funny and simple, and sometimes, those were the best kinds.

They were a giggling pile on the couch while he read the part where Junie B.'s classmate told her how the monster under her bed would drool on her pillow and bite her toes. Klaus even went as far as to pinch Vanya's foot, making her squeak and put her feet down on the floor, out of her brother's reach. Jasper wagged along to their laughter.

They finished the book fairly quickly and sat in a comfortable silence. Jasper yawned and rested his read on Vanya's thigh but elicited no reaction from the woman. Still, Klaus smiled at the sight. It made him feel good to know that his dog was warming up to his siblings, even if they couldn't see or interact with him. Vanya noticed him staring, "What?"

"Huh?"

"You we're giving me a funny look. What for?"

"Just- thank you, for everything."

"You're welcome Klaus."

"I mean, you didn't have to believe me about Jasper, no one else does, and it just means a lot to me."

She tilted her head, "Why wouldn't I believe you?"

Klaus barked out a humorless laugh, "Oh I don't know, I'm untrustworthy, I lie too much, I'm an attention whore-"

"Klaus," she said, cutting him off. "You're my brother. And even if you're not telling the truth I'll still listen."

"You we're always good at that." He paused for a beat, "You know, I think Jasper likes you."

"Really? What gave you that idea?"

"Well for starters, his head's in your lap."

Vanya made a small noise of surprise, staring at her empty lap. "You said he had been in a dog fight?" her face showed sadness and concern. Klaus nodded.

"That's what I think, yeah. There's scars all over his back and a pretty big slash across his throat. Not to mention half his ear's gone."

"Poor thing," Vanya said. She reached out her hand to where she assumed he was. She was only a little bit off, and Klaus grabbed her wrists, guiding her to the right spot. Jasper sighed contentedly.

"So uh... why don't you just conjure him? That way they'll believe you," she said. He sighed.

"Well for starters, Ben told me it can feel kinda weird when I conjure him, kinda like a numb, static-y feeling. I'm not sure if it's the same for Jasper, but I can't ask him if it's uncomfortable for him. He's already been through a lot, and I don't want to do anything that might hurt him," he admitted. Vanya nodded in understanding and placed a hand on his shoulder, "You don't have to prove anything Klaus."

"Thanks Vanya. I just wish they all knew that."

"They love you, they're just worried. Trust me, I know how wrong they can be when they get like that, but it doesn't mean they don't care." She offered a hug which he gladly accepted, and they ended up taking a nap on the couch.

When Klaus woke, Vanya was gone. He considered her words and exhaled deeply through his nose. She was right: they were just concerned about him and honestly, who could blame them? He knew he could be a hot mess, but he was starting to feel more like a functional mess with each day.

[suckitsurveys]

a rare saturday survey!

Let’s start with you. How are you? Shitty because I am at work and my co worker is blasting his shitty music What motivates you to get up every day? My need for money. Do you have a true best friend? Yes. Sarah, Mark, Randal, Ellen. Do you see yourself as a sensitive person? Yeah. Have you been upset recently? Yeah

Do you still leave/receive voicemails? Yeah. Do you live in your hometown? Yes I do. Are you a festive person? Do you enjoy holidays? Yessssssssssssssss. Did you/Will you attend college? I did. How many alarm clocks do you use? I have several set on my phone. Do you consider yourself to be an open-minded person? Yeah, with some things. Do you eat fruit? Yes, of course. What is your favorite subject to learn about? Sociology. Pop culture. Architecture. How many meals a day do you typically eat? 3.

Music, eh? Have you seen any live shows? Oh yes. Name three of your favorite bands/artists… Vampire Weekend, Lana Del Rey, Lorde. How big of a role does music play in your life? I love music, but it’ not a HUGE part of my life. I’d be sad if we didn’t have it, but I’d get over it. And I’m not particular about what I listen to. As in, I don’t care about time changes and the instruments used and all the specifics. If I like how it sounds, I’ll listen to it. Can you play any instruments? Nope. You’re feeling down - do you listen to sad music or happy? I don’t really listen to music when I’m sad honestly. If you’ve ever been to a concert, how old were you and who did you see? I’ve been to sooo many. My first was when I was like 3 and we saw Bob Dylan. My last concert was Vampire Weekend in May. And my next concert is also Vampire Weekend in October in Utah!!!! Unless of course someone wants to buy me $200 Lizzo tickets which would be great thanks. Do you prefer music to be meaningful and deep, or purely for dancing/fun? I like both. Is there a song or artist that you secretly enjoy, but don’t want to enjoy? No. I like what I like, I don’t care. If you could only listen to music from one decade, which would you choose? No thanks. How boring. Has your parents taste in music in any way affected what you like? For sure. My dad as amazing taste in music. My mom did, too. You’re looking for some new music - what’s your preferred way to discover? Spotify. Do you still own any CD’s/records/tapes? My collection is still at my dad’s. Do you download music for free or pay for it? I have Spotify Premium. Do you ever hear a new song on tv that you like and find it? Yup.

Speaking of television… (look at that smooth transition!) Do you watch a lot of television? Whether that be shows, news, movies etc. I loooooooooooooooooooove TV, Do you watch the news? Not so much. I follow Chicago news sources on FB. What about the weather channel? No. I just use the app on my phone. What’s your favorite holiday movie? Hocus Pocus!!!!! What hooks you to a television show? Drama, suspense, comedy etc. If I feel a connection to the characters. How do you feel about adult cartoons? Love em. BoJack Horseman and Bobs Burgers are a couple of my all time favorite shows.

Talk shows - boring or entertaining? They can be entertaining but I don’t follow them unless they have a guest I like. Do you prefer cable, satellite or streaming? Streaming. Have you come across any new shows you like this year? YES. Bonding, Tuca and Bertie, Undone, Shrill, Russian Doll. And some older ones I just now got into like Great News and Jane the Virgin. Do you still watch shows that you grew up watching? Not super often, but yeah. What about movies that you grew up with? Lion King and Toy Story are mine! Yeah. Are you subscribed to any streaming services? Netflix and Hulu and Prime. Reality shows - entertaining or horrifying? Eh. What is the first movie you ever saw in a cinema? The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Let’s talk about what you don’t discuss at Sunday brunch… Do you identify with any organized religion? Not now not ever. If so - is it how you were raised, or have you found your own? I wasn’t raised with any religion. Do you think that marijuana should be legalized? Yes. If so, would that be for medical use only, or recreational? Both. Pro-life or pro-choice? EVERYONE should fucking be pro-choice. Have you ever protested or been on strike? Yes. Is gun control necessary or no? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fucking yes it is. Are you happy with the political state where you reside? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Why do you feel that way? Because America is bullshit. Have you read the book 13 Reasons Why or watched the show? Fuck that show watch BoJack or Undone instead. The tv show brings teenage suicide to light in a graphic manner. Should shows like this be available to everyone or could it be a trigger? Yeah except again don’t watch that shit there are better shows that depict mental illness.

Okay, let’s simmer down. Back to happy things. Do you like animals? Of course I do. If so, do you have any pets? 3 kitty babies, What is your favorite day of the week and why? Friday. Do you have a favorite season? Summer. How do you enjoy nice scents? Candles, wax melts, incense, oils etc. I do. Do you live in a large city or small town? 3rd largest city in the US. Are you happy with that or would you like to change it? I have a love/hate relationship with it. Do you have any children? Nooo. Are there any colors that you think compliment you? Purple. Black. Grey. Do you enjoy cleaning or find it to be a chore? It can be relaxing in a way honestly. What is your absolute favorite food? Crab legs and sushi.  If you were any color, what would you be? Purple. Do you spend a lot of time on social networks? Yeah. Books or movies? Movies.

[thevillagehidden-inthevoid]

Character Development Questions: Hard Mode(Credit to: @i-see-light-blog )

Q: Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

*A: Yes to family members, just Itachi is all I can think of because he plays a very important role in Hitomi's life. They have been close since they're birth.

Q: What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

*A: With her she has a very strong bond, she was sorta a stay at home mom. With the occatilnal baby sit with Uncle Jaraiya, Uncle Orochimaru, and Aunt Tsunade.

As for her father, he is non existent since he became a rogue ninja shortly after Hitomi was born.

Q: Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them?

*A: later on in life yes, they entered a war at the young age 18, they kinda weren't the same after that.

Q: If so, does anyone else know?

*A: everyone can see the personality change in her, but they don't know how deep the damage goes.

Q: On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

*A: Younger, she would use scrolls to carry stuff like weapons, but usually would have brushes and paper on hand for drawing/writing.

When she got older though, around 15-18, you would find similar things just expanded on. So training scrolls, practice weapons, drawing utensils, Somme 'special' type books, and bandages.

Q: Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

*A: Being home on the back porch, they're sitting their with someone, drinking tea in silence. It's peaceful, silent, the only thing she can hear is the light sound of dripping water. When she notices it and turns to ask the person next to her if they hear it, she wakes up immediatly. She still doesnt know what it means.

Q: Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

*A: Yes, shes on a batle field fighting what seems like an endless wave of enemies, trying to protect whats most precious for her and all that shes worked for. By the end though she gets stabbed in the back by an unknown person and wakes up.

Q: Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

*A: for most around her, it's change drastically. While for some(cough*elders*cough) it has remained the same.

Q: Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

*A: Less clothing/PJs when they're alone. More clothing when they're in public.

Q:In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

*A: On the battlefield when they were one of the last soldiers standing, then rest of their platoon had died or retreated, they were protecting Mirai who had joined her on the field for a mission but got hit. She didn't know if her sister was dead or not, but she wasn't gonna leave her there.

Q: In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

*A: Prisoner of war for about a year.

Q: Is your character bothered by the sight of blood?

*A: Not really.

Q: Does your character remember names or faces easier?

*A: Faces.

Q: Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession?

*A: Material I guess? A lot of gifts given to her were very special ones from Jiraiya, Tsuna, Orochimaru, and her Mother.

Q: Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

*A: Happiness, because you can't succeed without it(and hard work.)

Q: What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

*A: A paint brush and ink from Jiraiya(to bring out her creativity and not be bored,) a board game from Orochimaru(to keep her mind together and actively thinking,) and a card deck from Tsunade(She would teach her to gamble with it.)

Q: Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

*A: Both? They kinda admire any unique quality about a person. They also understand how hard it is to become efficient/consistent in both.

Q: What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw?

*A: Not being open about their feelings for others and certain situations about them.

Q:Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

*A: Yes, but overall it's mostly just kept relationships/friendships from going further.

Q: In what ways does your character compare themselves to others?

*A: Beauty and strength wise, because for a long time she struggled to be those things.

Q: Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

*A: It's more of just self loathing and past experiences.

Q: If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

*A: They blame themselves 80% percent of the time. Especially if they thought they had any amount of control in the situation.

Q: What does your character like to other people?

*A: She's has a bright aura to her, kinda a turn off to traditional Uchiha's, but a welcoming person to the Senju. Ambitious and hard working over all.

Q: What does your character dislike in other people?

*A: Prejudice or unreasonable disbelief in others for no reason.

Q: How quick is your character to trust someone else?

*A: Instantly, always make friends on every side.

Q: How quick is your character to suspect someone else?

*A: Instantly, always gotta be on your toes, everyone has a motive.

Q: Does this change if they are close with that person?

*A: Yes, if the person doesn't give any more reason to trust they will always suspect them of something, or keep them in the suspect box if something goes wrong. If the person makes an effort to find and gain trust with them, then they're relationship will flourish.

Q: How does your character behave around children?

*A: They get really happy and gushy around babies and little kids. With older kids they're more chill or kinda awkward.

Q: How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

*A: Calmly and stone faced, but if they can avoid it they will.

Q: How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

*A: Depends how big of a push you give them, or which one of they're loved ones you push first.

Q: What did your character dream of being or doing as a child?

*A: A powerful Ninja and Uchiha Clan Leader.

Q: Did that dream come true?

*A: Spoilers...

Q: What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

*A: Hospital medicine, and unwanted attention.

Q: Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

*A: A familiar place, hanging out with friends or alone. Drinking or having a meal.

Q: Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

*A: Unfamiliar place, no one familiar around.

Q: In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

*A: Willing to improve if they trust the person.

Q: Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

*A: Immediately move on and try something different.

Q: How does your character behave around people they like?

*A: Bubbly, open, talking about life and deep conversation.

Q: How does your character behave around people they dislike?

*A: they're nice to them, but subtle body language will change.

Q: Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

*A: Both since they go hand in hand.

Q: Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

*A: if it seems like problems that will still effect the surrounding people/area, even if they leave. They will remove it.

Q: How does your character treat people in service jobs?

*A: Kindly.

Q: Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

*A: They must earn it.

Q: Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

*A: Yes, Jiraiya, Tsunade, Their older sister.

Q: Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

*A: to their knowledge they're not sure, but if I had to really sift through, I'd say Sasuke 75%(like an older sister or second mother,) with Naruto mostly like that cool mom that lets you learn from your mistakes by making them, and with Sakura more of a sisterly vibe.

Q: How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

*A: if your death would greatly affect them, they can say I love you as easy as pie. It's very hard though to say it seriously with romantic meaning.

Q: What does your character believe will happen to them after they die?

*A: they're not 100% sure, they just hope to their loved ones again(or get reincarnated.)

Q: Does this belief scare them?

*A: The thought of leaving their family behind? Yes?

[themomsandthecity]

6 Mom Truths I've Learned in Almost 5 Years of Parenting

I'm four and a half years into this parenting thing, and while I certainly don't have all the answers (except if you're looking for your lost lovey, then I'm your girl), I have learned a few things while keeping my 4- and 2-year-old sons alive up to this point. And the impending arrival of their baby sister has me thinking (read: freaking out) about starting all over again and somehow sticking to my guns with three little ones in the house. So I figure I'd better write down some of my personal "wisdom" as an easy reference for when I'm knee-deep in diapers and ready to relinquish all parenting responsibility to Netflix. Maybe these wise words can help you, too, if, like me, you're in the parenting preschoolers and toddlers phase of your journey as an underpaid referee who moonlights as a housekeeper. Related: I Never Knew How Much I Wanted a Girl - Until I Finally Got One 1. Never turn down a free meal It doesn't matter if you have a newborn or your kid is 5, if someone - anyone - offers to bring you food at any time, accept. Don't hesitate, don't question it, don't wonder whether the person offering really has the time. There's nothing better than not having to think about what you or your family will put in their mouth for any one of the thousands of meals you are constantly eating. So when someone offers, just say yes. People want to help, and food really is the easiest way for friends and family to do that. So let them! Enjoy that meal that you didn't have to think about, shop for, or prepare. And allow this exercise to make it even easier for you to accept other offers of assistance (laundry, anyone?!), too. Then pay it forward when you're out of the weeds yourself. 2. Sleep is a nonnegotiable Once you're out of the newborn phase, it's time to get real about sleep. However you make it happen (cry it out or whatever method you choose), make it your first priority to get your kids to fall asleep on their own and stay asleep all night without your help. And then keep reinforcing it when they inevitably regress, or grow molars, or have nightmares. You're already stretched thin enough during the day as a parent, you can't afford to not sleep at night! Honestly, I don't even like myself when I'm sleep-deprived, so I can't imagine I'm a great wife or mom either. This is even more important if you have any chance of surviving more than one child. 3. Once you figure it out, it changes This is especially true in the first year of life when you're dealing with constant transitions like naps, solid foods, and developmental milestones, but it also continues into the toddler and preschool years (and I can only assume beyond that as well). Just when you think you're in a good spot with your 2-year-old, they start having epic meltdowns about the color of their sippy cup. A few weeks after you've figured out how to manage your 4-year-old's attitude, they come up with a new method of getting under your skin. Hang in there, because it won't last. Just telling myself this helped get me through the "grunting because they can't yet talk" phase and the "screaming at the top of their lungs when you cut the apple wrong" phase. It's also a good reminder to savor the smooth times. You know, those weeks when your family seems to be in a nice rhythm with more harmony and calm than chaos? Enjoy that, because it also won't last. Related: 12 Things No One Tells You About Having a Second Baby 4. Don't poke the bear Of course you're curious about what they're up to and you want to see what they're playing with. You want to give them praise for figuring out how to build the Lego set themselves or ask them questions about the kind of doctor their stuffed bunny is visiting. But if your kid(s) are playing quietly by themselves, resist the urge to get involved. Savor the sweet silence or imaginary talk from afar and do not, I repeat, do not walk into the room, pass the doorway, or go remotely close enough that they might possibly hear you moving. And definitely do not comment. Let them be for as long as they'll keep it up and enjoy those precious minutes to yourself. 5. Stop talking so much This goes hand in hand with the above, but sometimes the best thing you can do as a parent is to talk less. They're eating their vegetables without being coerced by dessert? Don't say a word. They won't stop asking the same question that you've already answered three times? Stay silent. They're not complaining about the jeans that are usually "too itchy"? Don't ask. They're fighting with their sibling? Give them a chance to work it out before jumping in. Less really can be more, especially when you're fed up and prone to start spewing ridiculous threats that you'll never follow through on. Related: WTF 3-Year-Olds?! 6. Saying yes is fun Kids ask for a lot of things - mostly hideous plastic toys you don't want in your house and treats with too much sugar - but sometimes they make a simple request to push the button for the automatic door at Nordstrom or to stop and see if there are coins in a fountain. The knee-jerk response to these random asks is often "no" because, obviously, you have somewhere to be or you're already halfway into the store, and why the hell does it matter?! But, ask yourself, why the hell does it matter?! When you can, say yes because first of all, it makes them disproportionately happy. Second, if you say yes to that request, they'll maybe be a little less pissed when you say no to everything else they want to do that day. http://bit.ly/2MdgceE

[hibernianbok]

Papa Nordics hcs? Individually, not together!

I’ve been waiting for this

Denmark:

He is child in an adults body. Raising his own children would be a walk in the park! He’s always up for playing pretend or dress up with them and you better believe he will get them a mountain of Lego to play with!

Protect of his child, very. He’s one of those dads that will give his children alot of freedom but as soon as they’re going out with someone he wants to know who they are with and where. No harm shall come to them.

Dad jokes are extremely common, in fact he probably tells his child to call him ‘dadmark’! Every time he makes his child sigh or ugh he laughs and gives them a hair ruffle.

Sometimes it will feel like his child is looking after him, especially when he take them to the toy shop. On many occasions he will be the one buying the toys for his own entertainment. 

Pushes his children to their absolute limits and cheering them on every step of the way. If he knows that his child can do something he will bribe them, cheer them and whatever else to help them achieve their goals!

To annoy his child he does many things. His personal favorite being to tickling their hips till they’re crying with laughter and putting them on his shoulders (Still laughing) and running around the house!

He adores it when his child lets him do their hair, no matter the length or texture. If it’s short he gives them a quiff, if it’s long he’ll give them a danish braid! if it’s mid-way he’ll do plaited pigtails! 

Sometimes when he’s bored and his child is nearby, he’ll make a game out of trying to put his tiny hat on their head without them noticing. If he achieves it he’ll take a picture and posted it on Snap chat.

Trips to the shops to get ingredients is pretty common, he loves to bake with his child! Only the best danish pastries recipes will be taught and anyone who even smells them will being to drool!

When nobody is around or is coming over he will turn the living room into a giant pillow fort! He loves to see the look on his child’s face as they dive into the fort of pillows and blankets he’s made.

Dad rating: Everything is awesome 

Finland:

He is a very caring and fathering man, he is always doing everything he can for his children; the cooking, cleaning, general family bonding, anything to keep them happy!

Strictness wise he is rather flexible. MOST of the time he will brush of misbehavior and give his child a quick scold. Just, don’t make him angry. For the love of everything holy and your safety don’t!

The amount of worrying he does over his children is almost enough to worry about him. He is always on edge when his child is staying at a friends, you better believe he has the friends parents phone number!

You know when your mum/dad/guardian see a friend outside the shop and starts to talk for them for about fifty years? Yeah… he’s that dad. Best bring something to entertain yourself with!

He is very relaxed when it comes to emotional issues, if his children have any problems at all he’ll talk them through it and then give them words of encouragement and enthusiasm!

Also that dad that takes his children to the park and has a flock of mothers surrounding him. All of them are very kind and such, but can he please watch his baby whilst they’re swinging on the monkey bars?

One of the Parent Council dads, he is very involved in his children’s education. Plus he can prove that he’s the best at making cookies! No one can beat Santa’s cookies after all~

Speaking of being Santa, he’s children always get the best presents! But they do have to stay over at uncle Estonia’s house for Christmas eve. Only because he needs to do his job though.

Sauna days with his kids! He loves to just sit back and let the steam engulf him. If the steam is too intense for his child, they can always go for a nice swim in the pool!

He is always giving his children hugs. He will find any excuse to give his kiddo a tight snuggle, good moments and bad! Unless of course they don’t like hugs in which case, hair ruffles are good too! 

Dad rating: Baby in a box (If you don’t get that click: here)

Iceland:

At first, he has no idea what on earth he is doing. For those who are friends/family of Iceland will likely receive 3am phone calls with the topic; ‘What do I do when my child cries?’ 

He is probably that dad that is completely awkward dad that makes jokes at the wrong time, Denmark does that right? Denmark raised him so jokes are a thing that good dads do right? (Send the lad some help please)

Mr.Puffin is the official “HELP ME PARENT PLEASE!” bird, as much as it may annoy the poor puffin it will keep him busy. Family chill time is probably everyone’s favorite time.

Saying all of this, he does try his best. He tries to show his children the wonders of his land and others, as odd as it may seem he knows that the world is very large and he hopes they will see it all!

He enjoys telling them old folktales for bedtime stories! Sometimes he’ll go on for long after his child has fell asleep, so many tales that have been passed on to tell from the people lost in time.

They’re raised to be able to speak more than one language, He can get pretty embarrassed speaking his own language (Source: X (Trivia point!)). He wants his children to be able to wonder the world understand others!

School wise is eeh… He believes that education is the way too success but coming to him with homework or school drama is not the best idea. He either doesn’t know or doesn’t really care.

Discipline wise, he’s got it down to a T, he knows that as soon as the Wifi password is changed and the remotes have been hidden his child is all of a sudden going to be rather nice to him~

To add to the point above, he cannot stand bratty children. From day one he will tell them “You respect me, I respect you” and if they follow that rule then they will be very close!

He can be pretty clingy to his child, he doesn’t like to be surround by people but he’s not a big fan of being all by himself. His child will probably be around him alot to stop him from being too lonely.

Dad rating: How to be a good papa?

Norway:

The chill parent™ literally. He is very tolerant and patient with his children. He will let them do as they please as long as they stay within their boundaries. So long as they do it’s chill™

He will probably put his children on a pedestal like he does Iceland. He’s always going on about how his children are amazing and how cute they look in that outfit he bought them(like Maes from FMA? please tell me if i’m wrong)

To any out lookers, they would say that he’s got a good hand on raising his children. They would be right! Besides the mental screaming and the worrying coffee intake from lack of sleep due to worrying about them, he’s fine! 

Dad jokes are a thing, but in a weird way. His child can say anything and he would pause, stare and murmur a really bad pun under his breath. I.e. ‘Whoa, papa! Look at this!’ ‘……I can’t believe it’s not butter...’ 

He spoils his children more than he is willing to admit, they could see something on TV and he would surprise them with it the next day. He can’t really help it, he doesn’t want them to live like he used to.

Emotional stuff he’s pretty good at! He is able to sit there and listen to any problems his children are facing for hours if he must. He is also willing to hug them and sooth their worries with comforting songs!

Adores telling his children myths and folklore! Sometimes he’ll even take them on drives to the places and introduce them to the creatures that the stories are based around!

Whenever the midnight sun or the Nordic lights are on show he’ll let his children stay up to see them. Joined with the forces of caffeine and warm blankets he’ll sit outside with them all night if they want.

To him, his children are a blessing and something to live for. If he is ever lacking motivation or inspiration he’ll think about his children and BAM! You’ve got one very determined Norwegian.

He takes alot of time off work to spend with his children. He wants to be apart of their lives and for them to always know that he loves them, for him nothing is more important than his family.

Dad rating: Butter hurry up with that homework

Sweden:

This man is a papa and a half! He is already raising two kids (Sealand & Ladonia!) so the man knows what he’s doing. He is always alot more relaxed when with kids and is happy to care for them!

He is very good at keeping his children in line, how exactly? Star charts. He knows that losing a gold star is everyone’s worse nightmare and he will use this to his advantage. Gold stars are given to good kiddos only!

Want a tree house? Because his children are getting a tree mansion! Nearly all of their room’s furniture and toys are made by him, but don’t worry they’re made entirely out of love!

Super protective of his little ones! He would never let any harm come to them whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. If anyone dares to hurt them he will be knocking on the culprits door at 3am!

Sometimes he’ll take his kids with him for a small fishing trip if the weather is right. Sure camping may be a little boring but it’s the bonding that counts! Plus fishing can be rather relaxing~

He is always willing to participate in games with his little ones, even pretend and sports! If it means that they’re gaining an interest in a possible future career or dream then he will do his best to guide them.

To his children he can seem like a rag doll at certain times, he doesn’t mind them climbing onto his shoulders or letting them borrow his glasses. If it keeps them happy and they’re safe then it’s fine.

Education wise he is the man when his children need help with homework. He will talk them through the problem and give them as much motivation as they need, sometimes in the form of pastries! 

All drawings and school achievements will have a special spot on the fridge for all to see. Any of his little ones achievements will be rewarded with a meal out wherever they want!

His absolute favorite thing in the world is to wake up with his little family all fallen asleep on the sofa with him, he thinks it’s so cute seeing them all snuggled up on top of him with a blanket covering them all~

Dad rating: Swedad

[aion-rsa]

Ratched Ending Explained

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Netflix’s Ratched, a Ryan Murphy series inspired by the iconic character Nurse Ratched from the film adaptation of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, is full of twists and turns. In the final two episodes of the first season (season 2 has already been announced), just about every dynamic on screen changes, leaving the audience with a few cliffhangers, a lot of questions, and a dream sequence for good measure. Let’s dive into what really happened and what it all means for the future of Ratched.

Saving the Hospital

Thanks to an assist from Louise, who works the front desk at the motel, Betsy Bucket gets her hands on the recording of Mildred and the one priest who survived Edmund’s murder spree. She learns Mildred’s secret that Edmund is her brother, and creepily identifies a lobotomy by sound alone. Nurse Bucket suspected Mildred was lying about her qualifications and called the military but was surprised to learn Mildred really did serve as a nurse during the war.

Here’s where it gets interesting, as Mildred swerves toward candor and tells Bucket that while she did serve, she in fact has zero qualifications as a nurse. Mildred also confirms what was previously foreshadowed, that she mercy killed an alarming number of soldiers. It’s still unclear whether they actually needed to be mercy killed, but Mildred was found out and sent home rather than court-martialed, which would have caused embarrassment for all involved.

Mildred and Bucket team up to save the hospital from the governor, who they know (presumably thanks to Gwendolyn) plans to kill their funding, and from Dr. Hanover, who’s becoming more of a liability. (In a flashback, his wife is shown taking him to court for divorce, citing neglect, and taking full custody of their daughter.) The formidable pair got to their heretofore unmentioned wealthy donor with a list of grievances that doesn’t make much of an impression until Mildred pulls out the story of the Osborne amputation mess in the Philippines. Smelling a scandal and a PR nightmare, the donor sides with the women and Mildred suggests that Nurse Bucket serve as interim head of the facility.

Recalling an earlier conversation where Huck sweetly and respectfully asked Mildred out and shared a desire for a greater purpose in life, Mildred insists that Bucket make Huck the head nurse. She points out he lacks the qualifications (he’s not actually a nurse), but as Mildred counters, so does she. It’s worth noting that when Mildred turned down Huck’s offer, she came out to him, a first for her.

Hanover doesn’t take the news well, but belatedly admits to Bucket that he treated her poorly and she didn’t deserve it. He decides that curing the patient Charlotte Wells in Canada, where a friend of his has a practice, will be the key to clearing his good name, so he tries to escape with her, which Mildred allows.

Dr. Hanover’s Demise

Unfortunately, their escape doesn’t last long. As a mixed race couple, the two face increased scrutiny on the road. Hanover hides Charlotte in a closet when police come knocking at his door, and the time trapped in a small, dark space sets off her psychosis. While the police only wanted something minor and quickly leave, Charlotte shifts into her Apollo persona, seeing Hanover as Hitler. She kills him, leaving Charlotte to wake up covered in blood.

Mildred comes to Charlotte’s rescue, putting the shaken woman on a bus and taking care of Hanover. Mildred gives her some money and tells her in a few weeks she might have more to send her. Mildred doesn’t seem concerned with the obvious mental health concerns at play, which one might assume have only been exacerbated by waking up covered in the blood of a person she murdered.

Mildred brings his head, not quite on a platter, to Lenore Osgood, who paid her. She pays Mildred and brings the grotesque trophy to her son, who says this changes nothing. He tells his mother she’ll pay for what she’s done to him, and then a young man, a member of the staff, stabs her through the chest with a pitchfork and then he cries over his mother’s twitching dead body. This makes little sense, but Hanover was right – her son wasn’t cured. Apparently he still likes having someone else live out his fetish with stabbing people, which has clearly only escalated. The joke’s on him, though, because his mother gave half her money to a museum and half to her monkey. He is to be sent to a psychiatric facility. If you’re expecting him and Mildred to end up at the same one, you’ll have to wait for next season to see if we’re stuck with this twerp again.

Trevor Briggs, the lovely gentleman who has served as Gwendolyn’s beard, apologizes for the negative reaction he previously had when Gwendolyn said she wanted to end their relationship. He has since met a guy and he credits her with the courage he now has to be with another man so publicly. She plans to move east, where the governor can’t hurt her reputation, since politics is such a small world and there’s still so much stigma associate with being gay. He tells Gwendolyn he’ll always love her and they part on good terms, perhaps the only pure part of this entire show. 

Edmund Faces the Death Penalty

The final episode picks up a month later, with Louise serving a candy striper who is dressed suspiciously like a nurse, making creepy dolls, and generally terrorizing patients. To Bucket’s credit, she tells her to cut it out. Are there any doctors at this hospital? As Bucket said, “Honestly? Who needs ‘em?”

Gwendolyn and Mildred have spent the previous month playing house and generally having a lovely time, in spite of the fact that Gwendolyn is dying of cancer. Mildred wants to pursue experimental treatments, but Gwendolyn is happy to die in a hacienda with Mildred by her side (Mildred’s a millionaire now, remember?) Neither seems to be working.

Strangely enough, and contrary to her singular driving force for the entire show thus far, Mildred had accepted that Edmund would be put to death. However, the governor suddenly switched California from lethal injection back to the far more barbaric electric chair. He even flipped the switch himself and wouldn’t let anyone intervene when the dying man caught on fire, in a rather ridiculous turn of events that’s meant to help him secure the election.

Gwendolyne and Mildred make a last-ditch effort to plead with the governor for a more humane method of execution, which does not go well. It provides an opportunity for him to figure out that they’re gay and to say a bunch of idiotic things about that fact.

When that plan fails, Gwendolyn and Mildred go to Bucket. With the three women finally all in the know and on the same page, they go with Mildred’s plan to mercy-kill her brother with a lethal dose of sedatives so he won’t have to suffer in the electric chair. Mildred will do it with Huck’s help while Edmund’s out in that ridiculous barn Hanover wanted, since it’s finally finished and Bucket has been allowing Edmund to go for an hour a day; she seems to genuinely think he’s insane and deserves more humane treatment than what the state has in mind for him.

Mildred goes to see Edmund for the last time before the barn. He’s immediately suspicious of the nice meal and asks if it’s laced with poison, which isn’t far off. Mildred gets in some last words, asking her brother why he had to ruin her earlier plan. He tells her he did it for love, meaning Dolly.

One of the nurses lets Bucket know that Charlotte Wells is waiting for her in the lobby. Making matters far more grave, Charlotte thinks she’s Dr. Hanover. Is this how it happens? Does she acquire her new personalities by murdering them? Has she done it before? Does Charlotte truly not know? Does this mean she killed a small child, baby taffy? None of these questions are answered or even really hinted at.

Charlotte demands to see Edmund, his star patient, and when Bucket gets Huck to help sedate her rather than complying, Charlotte shoots Huck in the head, killing him. Charlotte then takes Bucket hostage and beats or kills her way toward Edmund, who locks Bucket in his cell. Confused by Mildred’s earlier actions and someone trying to bust him out and unaware of their newfound friendship, Edmund demands that Bucket tell him Mildred’s real plan, at gunpoint, and she does. He fails to see the merciful angle. Edmund and “Dr Hanover” leave together, with Charlotte telling Edmund about the money she came into thanks to Nurse Ratched, surely another frustration for him. They pass Mildred on the road as they leave.

Mildred Tries to Move On

Flash forward to Mexico in 1950 for what turns out to be a dream sequence, which looks an awful lot like Mildred and Gwendolyn’s daydream from the previous episode. Bucket comes to visit them and they lounge by the pool where she congratulates Gwendolyn on her excellent health (thanks to mistletoe, of all things) and Betsy expresses disbelief and regret about some of the treatments she used to administer, especially the hot and cold baths. When Bucket talks about how wonderful it is in Mexico and that the three of them are having such a good time with no men, Mildred can’t shake that her brother is still out there and won’t be satisfied until he comes after her. She goes back to her room for a book and is surprised by Charlotte and Edmund, who toy with her before Edmund stabs her and then she wakes up screaming in bed next to Gwendolyn, in the same hacienda from the dream.

In the real version of events, much is the same as mistletoe healed Gwendolyn and Bucket visits them but she comes early, makes no mention of regretting treatments, and there’s no women’s empowerment speech on the pool deck. Instead, Gwendolyn reads the paper while they eat, making note of a massacre of seven nurses. Just then, someone on staff brings a phone over with a call for Mildred, which she answers by correctly predicting it’s Edmund, who was sending a message with those murders.

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Edmund doesn’t much react to Mildred taking all the wind out of his sails for this creepy call, but she continues to turn it around on him, not only predicting much of what he might say but telling him that he should be afraid of her, that she’s coming after him. On the other end of the line, Edmund hangs up, leaves a gas station, and gets in a car with not only Charlotte, but also Louise from the motel/creepy dolls, and they head out on the open road.

The post Ratched Ending Explained appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[lavender-lotion]

WYIB Chp. Seven - Come To Bed | 3,519k

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Dinner, cuddling, nightmares oh my! Basically, domestic!pack fluff!

Warning: Mention of rape, vague description and slight flashback.

As it turned out, seven frozen pizzas were not enough food to feed a pack of Alphas, two Betas, and a powerful Spark.

Deucalion had walked into the kitchen, firmly told Stiles that there was no way there’d be enough food at the house to feed them all, and then proceeded to order pizza. A lot of pizza. It hadn’t taken long to get there - surprising, given the size of their order - but Deucalion had kept him pleasant company in the kitchen, leaning against the island with his folded cane in his hand.

As it turned out, Deucalion was kind of funny. He certainly had a dry wit that Stiles adored, and his accent just made everything sound better. And alright, Stiles could admit that the man's jaw - dusted with stubble as it was - plus that accent was an intriguing combination. He wasn’t, like, attracted, but Stiles did find himself staring a little more than he maybe should have. And alright, maybe he was a little attracted. Only a little.

But.

Stiles wasn’t often one to deny himself things he enjoyed, and he enjoyed looking at Deucalion. He did try not to think about it too much, though, not sure what his scent might be giving away. That could be entirely too embarrassing, and it wasn’t like it was his fault he was a teenage boy with teenage-boy-level hormones. He was attracted to what he was attracted to - and apparently middle-aged, British Alphas with homicidal tendencies did it for him.

Whatever. Luckily he was saved from further thought when the doorbell rang, and the rest of his new pack piled into the kitchen to eat. The Alphas remained standing, though Deucalion took a seat beside him at the table, joined by Peter and Cora. The other four still seemed tense, especially Kali where she stood straight-backed. Ennis seemed more relaxed since he had spoken to Stiles and said his peace. It was something appreciated, and it felt nice when Deucalion had repeated the sentiment. It felt good, like he was providing for his pack.

Stiles hadn’t realized how hungry he was until the Alpha set a large pizza down in front of him and he dug in, tucking away slices quicker than he knew he was capable of. The oven pizzas had all gone to Ennis, who didn’t enjoy all the grease that pizzaria pies often had. The boy was glad, since letting that much food go to waste would have been horrible.

Most of the meal was quiet, and clean up was quick. The pizza company had sent a ridiculous amount of paper plates with all their pizzas, so Stiles just gathered them up. There was no way he would be able to keep with the amount of dishes they would be generating, so if he could reuse them he would. He piled up the pop cans they had all ordered, too.

Afterward, he directed everyone into the living room, his pack sprawling out along the furniture after Peter and Cora had made themselves comfortable. It was probably obvious just how much time Peter had been spending there recently, the way his scent must be ingrained in the room. And by the way Cora was smirking, Stiles could guess the man would be getting teased in the near future.

They hardly had enough furniture for everyone. The twins took up the love seat, Cora sitting in the lap of the same one who haed mentioned his affection for stoves at the bank. Ennis was sitting in the sheriff's armchair, looking entirely comfortable. His eyes were half-lidded as he leaned back and pulled up the foot rest, settling in. Kali was still standing, leaning against the entryway to the living room, and Stiles could see the tense lines of her shoulders across the room. Peter and Deucalion both sat  on opposite ends of the couch and Stiles found himself between them, the warm line of Deucalion’s body close enough for him to feel.

The TV was playing, though he wasn’t sure if anyone other than Peter and Kali were watching it. Cora and the twins were having their own soft conversation, and Ennis still appeared to be - well, Stiles was pretty sure the man was actually asleep.  As for himself, he focused inside his chest, looking at his newly acquired pack bonds and poking them with glee. He was having entirely too much fun doing so, and since Deucalion wasn’t saying anything, he didn’t stop.

It was strong, the bond he shared with his Alpha. He could so clearly feel what the other man did, and Stiles was sure that with practice they could send thoughts along the line. He’d never expected a pack bond to feel like this; there were so many different layers to it, beautiful in their complexity. It was large and bright inside of Stiles’ chest, the bond connecting an Alpha to an Emissary, and it thrummed with a power of its own, a separate thing from either man. It was gorgeous, the combination of both their power.

Something on the TV exploded, and Stiles slumped a little more to the side. He wasn’t so much cuddling as sucking heat from the man’s body, but it felt good either way. When Deucalion lifted his arm to settle it over Stiles’ shoulders and pull the boy closer - confident and sure in his welcome - Stiles went with it, let himself be pulled and turned his torso to cuddle closer, wrapping an arm around the man’s waist.

It was warm, incredibly so, but Stiles wasn’t complaining. Deucalion smelled like pine, fresh and crisp where Stiles’ face was pressed into his shoulder. The whole scene reminded him of past Christmases, curling up against his father on the couch, half asleep as holiday movies played on the TV. They always got the biggest tree his mother could find and spent days decorating it before even thinking about declaring it done.

He felt much like he had then, safe and content and warm. He curled up closer, face heating in a blush when the man holding him brushed a kiss against his forehead. He wasn’t sure what he was projecting along the bond, but Deucalion felt settled. Happy, content, and just a little smug when Stiles rubbed his face into the man's’ chest, leaving his scent in Deucalion's shirt.

He heard Peter chuckle behind him but ignored the man's ridicule, instead letting his eyes drop closed.

Stiles never quite fell asleep, but he toyed with the line of consciousness for a while. It was nice to just drift that way, unbelievably comfortable. He was aware of the passing time, knew that eventually he would have to move, but the man he was basically laying on was warm; hard muscles proving to be a far better pillow that he would’ve thought. He wondered what it would be like to lay himself over the man, settling his body atop the Alpha’s completely.

Deucalion hummed and tightened his hold, his lips once again brushing Stiles’ hairline, further pulling Stiles into wakefulness. He whined softly in protest, comfortable where he was, but the man's answering chuckle vibrated through his head and he finished waking, rolling to his other side to get to Peter. The other wolf let him cuddle close and rub his face all over his neck, leaving behind his scent and feeling his spark settle a little at the action.

He knew his magic didn’t get anything from the action, that something like scent was entirely irrelevant to him. It still made him feel lighter knowing that other supernaturals would be able to smell Stiles on the man, that their bond would be obvious. He’s already started to think of Peter as a father figure, and he thought he might have eventually come to the same conclusion even if the wolf hadn’t been dating his dad.

With a sigh he flopped back, starfishing himself on the couch and hitting both men beside him with his limbs. He grinned when they mock-growled at the same time, the two turning to face each other. Peter’s brows were high, but then he laughed, Deucalion following suit. It seemed to drain any tension that had been in the room. Even Kali relaxed further against the wall, and Stiles was beyond glad.

“Alright, so we have a guest bedroom upstairs, that Kali and Ennis can have? And there’s a really comfortable couch in the basement, if someone wants that. The couch up here has a fold-out mattress, too,” Stiles informed them, watching as Cora grinned wickedly at the twin whose lap she had her feet in. The boy just sighed and shoved her feet off, rolling his eyes as his brother smirked at him.

“I’ll take the couch, those two can have the bed,” he said, though he didn’t feel seriously upset over the bond, and Stiles was beginning to think this sort of teasing between the three of them was normal.

“Okay, I think that settles it?” he said, and ignored the way Peter was smirking at him - because how did he even know?!

He stood then, ignoring the wolf and instead pulling Deucalion up with him, blinking shyly when the man stood. It was - easier, in the dark. Now he had no idea how to bring it up, but he knew what he wanted. And he just wanted to be close. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was feeling for the man - whether it was a reaction to their newly formed bond or what - but he knew Deucalion was feeling it too, both of them itching to remain close.

It was with that thought that he continued to pull the man up the stairs, leading him with a hand on his wrist. Peter followed behind them without saying a word.

There was a brief flicker of worry along the bond when he reached the last step, and he smiled to himself, sending reassurance along the bond he shared with his Beta. Thankfully Peter let it go after that, only sending Stiles one final look before he stepped into his dad’s room.

Stiles walked into his own, the Alpha now dutifully trailing behind him, the man's hand settled on the low of Stiles’ back - really right above the swell of his ass - as he let Stiles continue to lead him. The soft click of the door shutting behind them sounded entirely too loud, and Stiles had never been good with silence.

“I figured we could share? It’s a queen, so there's plenty of space?” Not a lie, and Stiles was pleased to note that his heart didn’t stumble and his voice sounded far more convincing that he felt.

“Sounds amenable,” Deucalion said just as softly, though his voice was nowhere as sure as Stiles would’ve expected. The man was just standing there, his back a stiff line, unmoving. Stiles wasn’t even convinced Deucalion was breathing, but he moved further into his room anyway, not quite sure how to handle the situation

“So, I’m going to get undressed?” He said it like a question, in case that’s what was making the man feel so uncomfortable.

He could be reading it wrong, but he knew the man was attracted to him; he felt it when he was looking through their bond. It was also decidedly mutual, but wasn’t not as though Stiles was going to act on it after the few hours they’d been bonded. They weren’t going to do anything other than sleeping, that much was obvious to him, and he wasn’t sure why the man would be hesitant to share the bed.

Stiles tugged out of his clothes, not worrying about putting on a show since the man couldn’t see it anyway, though it didn’t mean he was any less calm. Stiles was still grateful that Deucalion kept his face turned away, though the man's shoulders were still a sharp line. It worried Stiles, and made him nervous to feel around their bond. There weren’t any emotions being emitted strong enough for him to feel outright, but he knew it would only take a little effort to know what the man was thinking.

“I - I’m undressed now,” he said into the silence, because he didn’t know what else to do, how else to get the man to move.

He wished he could say otherwise, but he watched as Deucalion stripped out of his slacks, his shirt soon following. In just a pair of briefs the man was stunning, and it was enough to make Stiles’ heart double in speed. It only quickened when the Alpha held out the shirt he’d just taken off, though the slight shake of his hand belied his faux confidence. Stiles did take it and quickly put it on, twisting his torso and moving his arms slightly, liking how loosely it laid on him.

He settled himself on the edge of his bed and waited. Deucalion was still standing stiffly, though he had a faint smile on his face as he scented the air, obviously pleased. It was an adorable sight, and one Stiles hoped he never forgot - Deucalion standing there, head cocked slightly to the side as he sniffed at the air, smiling softly to himself.

He - he couldn’t help but be distracted, though. There was so much skin, and Stiles wanted to look everywhere, but the man still hadn’t moved, hands still clenched into tight fists at his side. Their bond was screaming at him, uglyworhtlessnotenough, and he stepped towards Deucalion slowly, gently letting his hands trail from the man's shoulders to his face, where he grabbed at the dark glasses. It was entirely more intimate than Stiles intended, though he didn’t feel uncomfortable.

So far Deucalion had felt nothing less than safe, and that hadn’t changed even now. He rubbed gentle thumbs along the bottom of the man's glasses, smiling softly at the soft inhale the man made. It was … it was - fuck if Stiles knew. All he knew was that their bond was screaming with potential, and he knew so much could happen.

But he pulled himself back, and instead let the other man make the decision. He didn’t want the bond to be the only reason something happened - and Stiles wasn’t even entirely sure if what he was feeling was being reciprocated.

“It’s - it’s far from pretty,” Deucalion said, lips twisted upward, though the look was more a grimace than a smile.

“I - it’s okay. I don’t care,” Stiles said just as softly, finally taking the glasses off the man's face and settling them onto his bedside table. They were - they were bad. Dark red and painful looking, pulling tight at the surrounding skin. They covered a fair portion of the man's face, but they really didn’t bother Stiles. He ran the tip of his finger over a long one, not stopping even as Deucalion sucked in a sharp breath of air.

“Come to bed,” he whispered, and stepped back, the man following behind him.

Stiles woke up too warm, squirming and kicking at his covers to try and cool down. His foot hit flesh and he struggled harder, the arm wrapped around his waist tightening as he was pulled tighter against someone's body. Stiles fought, lashing out as he tried to get free. No - no. He had said no, he had said no, and Gerard didn’t care, didn’t - he didn’t care. Stiles tried to wiggle free, but the grip Gerard had on him was too tight, and he couldn't move, couldn’t get out.

He - he knew the cement had been cold, hard against his cheek as he was held down. It didn't feel like cement now, but that didn’t matter, Gerard was there holding tight and - and -. He sucked in a sharp breath to try and relieve the burning of his chest, and fought harder, kicking out a leg behind him and throwing out his elbow.

Gerard grunted behind him - his voice sounded off, different than his moaning had been, at least. Stiles pushed again, trying to scramble away, and - falling? The weight around him was gone and he lost his balance, falling to the floor and hitting it hard. He crawled away, awaygetawayyouhavetogetaway! He pulled himself into the corner, wrapping his arms tight around himself. Gerard was saying his name, but his voice, his voice, his -

Peter.

His eyes flew open, staring straight into the electric blue eyes of his Beta, and he launched himself forward, burying himself in the man's chest. He breathed deeply, not daring to close his eyes even though the only thing he could see was the pink of Peter’s nipple right next to his face. He let himself calm, trying to will away the too-vivid flashback. He’d never - he had never had a nightmare that bad before, never woken up so disorientated and confused.

Usually, he screamed himself into consciousness, his father only holding him close once Stiles became aware of where he was - that he wasn’t still in his dream. This time had been different, drifting into consciousness already being held, his body already pressed tight to his Alpha. He heard a loud groan from across the room, and his head snapped up. Deucalion.

The man was crumpled against the floor, plaster covering his body from where Stiles had thrown him into the wall. The man blinked his eyes open,his mess of scars clear now without his glasses, and he felt more than heard Peter’s heartbeat tick at the sight. The man looked towards Stiles, and the boy felt his bond hum loudly, apology and regret heavy between them.

Stiles stood shakily, pushing up against Peter’s shoulders to help himself stand, and made his way over. His knees still shaky as the adrenaline fled his body, leaving him feeling too weak, too fragile. He dropped onto his knees in front of Deucalion, discomfort, concern, and remorse heavy in his chest. It was such a contrast to what Stiles had felt the night before, the heady feeling of acceptance and affection, even the soft attraction as they had cuddled on the couch.

He pulled Deucalion close, tucking himself into the man's chest much the same he had with Peter, and pulling the man's arms around himself when Deucalion didn’t initially move. The man was - well, not staring, but his face was tilted towards Stiles’, his lips pulled down in a frown and brow bone drawn downwards. The boy just sighed, all but climbing into Deucalion's lap and poking him in the side until he gave in, hugging Stiles tight.

He wanted to make sure Deucalion knew that it wasn’t his fault, that it wasn’t something that the man had done. He just wanted Deuc to smile again, for the imsorrystoplookingatmeuncomfortableworhtless that was repeating through their bond to stop. It had been so different the night before, when he had slowly climbed in beside Stiles, as though doubtful of the entry Stiles was gladly granting him, but not daring to let it slip away.

He sighed against the man's neck, breathing in deeply. Now that he was out of the nightmare, he just wanted to be close, didn’t care about the other energies he could feel in the room - though he did send a hefty amount of reassurance down the bond at Peter. He really was okay - shaken, sure, and feeling infinitely safer with someone holding him - but he was okay. It wasn’t even the worst nightmare he’d had, just the worst reaction to one.

But the Alpha was holding on tight as well, and hopefully - hopefully he got it. Stiles had never thought he would see such a vulnerable side to the man, be allowed to. But he had, right before he’d taken off the man's glasses, and he was thankful for it. It felt - it felt like forgiveness, for looking into the man's mind earlier, like the man was showing Stiles a hidden part of himself voluntarily.

Stiles appreciated that, far more than he knew how to express so he sent his gratitude down their bond, smiling into the man's skin when he was hugged tighter.

“Stiles, why is the grown man you’re sitting on not wearing any clothing?” his dad asked, voice firm. He chanced a glance at the man, breathing out a little sigh when his dad didn’t appear to be too mad, mostly concerned.

He raised a brow at his father and looked unimpressed at the man's neck. “Ya know, I’m not sure your uniform is going to cover all those - bruises.”

He smirked while his dad stood there, mouth gaping open even as one hand raised to cover his neck. The man turned his glare to Peter, and all the other man did was smirk as well, flashing his eyes bright blue. Stiles giggled at the exchange, settling firmer against his Alpha. The man’s emotions were calmer, hesitantly accepting Stiles’ weight and holding the boy close.

It was nice to be so close to his Alpha. Their bond was still shining bright and new between them, and Stiles knew he would do whatever it took to keep it strong.

[aiimaginesbts]

Cursed Child: Chapter 1

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Clairvoyant/supernatural being AU, angst, darkfic, a little fluff

Word count: 2,935 words

Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 (Final)

Disclaimer/Copyright

As the only child of one of the oldest and richest noble families in the county, you had always lived a charmed life. You would always remember your early childhood as a time in your life that was filled with happy memories of your parents, relatives and servants who doted upon the delightful heir of the Darlington family. You were indulged, but your parents were strict enough that you didn’t become spoiled, proper etiquette and lessons on behaviour taught you to treat others with kindness and respect regardless of their station. Perhaps this was the reason your family was held in such high regard.

Even though you were the only child in residence, you hardly wanted for company. The house was always full of people, always bustling with activity. Other than your parents and the help, members of the extended family and important noblemen visited often to discuss matters with your father, and the parties your parents threw kept the mansion alive and eventful.

But most of all, your days weren’t lonely because of Yoongi. He kept you company often, and even though he hardly talked, he always went along with everything you wanted to do. He rarely said anything, but when he did, it never failed to make you smile. More than anything else in the world, in your short but blissful life, nothing made you happier than the words of the sullen, quiet boy with skin almost as pale as a ghost, but with small, charming smiles meant for you that lighted up your world.

Most of your childhood days were spent with Yoongi, whether it was playing games, or exploring the grounds, or just talking about the nonsensical, curious things that a child would talk about, listening to his soft words spoken to you in return. You’d always thought of him as a shy boy, and perhaps the fact was known to the inhabitants of the estate, as you were usually left alone when you were in his company. Your selfish side was secretly glad for that; for reasons you didn’t know yourself, Yoongi was someone you were reluctant to share with anyone. He was your friend, and you wanted him to play with only you. The more considerate side that your parents have instilled in you wanted him to be liked by others too, so you constantly asked him to join your family for meals, outings, and parties, but he refused and managed to disappear every time, even though you had asked your mother if Yoongi could join and she had smiled at you indulgently and said that she would love to meet your best friend.

Yes, Yoongi was your best friend, and as you grew a little older, he became your confidant. Although your parents never discouraged you from telling them anything, you felt most comfortable sharing your private thoughts and feelings with Yoongi. He would never judge you, or say that you were wrong, or try to change your opinion on something, or say that someone of your status should act a certain way. He was a very good listener, and shared the same view as you had on most things, and his feedback, short and concise as they were, were valuable to you.

However, the one thing that he refused to comment upon was your frequent sense of déjà vu. On various occasions, you experienced or heard of situations and events that you knew had happened before, and it confused you to no end. Naturally, you talked to Yoongi about this, but his reaction to this was always the same: he would gift you with one of his smiles, but these would be different somehow, these were teasing, and secretive, like he knew something about it but thought that keeping it from you was fun, even though you’d begged him to talk about it, he refused to say anything beyond “This is our secret.” You agreed and kept it that way, because at seven, there were not many secrets that you could have had, so having this one with Yoongi made you feel bold and excited.

He was also there with you at your favourite uncle’s funeral. Your father took it really hard; his youngest brother was very close to him, they weren’t just business partners with a cold relationship as ties with siblings usually were among the noble families, they were friends, they were real brothers, and your father loved him very much. Your mother was too absorbed in consoling him as his brother’s casket was lowered into the ground that she didn’t notice that you were distressed too. Unlike your other uncle, who was distant and unfriendly with your family, and acted like you did not exist, this uncle was warm and happy, putting aside some time every visit to drop by the nursery to see how you were doing, a new toy in hand every single time. You missed him already, watching the scene in front of you unfold, your tiny hands balled into fists and your lower lip trembling from holding back tears.

Yoongi was there though. He would always be there in times of need, he would always be your strength. Coaxing your right hand to uncurl and relax, he laced his fingers with yours and gripped it firmly, and you felt a strong energy coursing through your entire being. This could only mean one thing: this moment would repeat itself. Each time Yoongi was around and you had this tingling feeling, when his touch or even just his eyes on you made your heart beat erratically, when a sense of a deep, undeniable connection with him that your seven-year-old mind could not comprehend but surged inside every inch of you, you knew that the scenario would play itself again, one more time. Usually this sign threw you into confusion even as it made you happy to feel him so close to your being, your soul, but this time it just broke your heart, and a tear you had been trying so hard to hold back rolled down your cheek. This was a moment that you never wanted to relive.

A week after the incident had you jittery and on edge. Never had a moment that you knew was going to repeat itself waited so long to come by again. It normally took a few days at most, or even just a few hours at times. Were you wrong this time? Was it just a mistake, has the moment passed and will not come again? The thought made you feel relieved, yet the uncertainty kept you nervous. Not only that, your parents’ behaviour was simply baffling. You spent hours crying after the funeral with only Yoongi to keep you company, having shooed your concerned nurse away, but no one else seemed to share your grief. Your parents went about their daily activities, talking, having discussions, laughing like nothing happened. Was this their way of coping? This was the first time in your life dealing with a loss. Maybe this was how you were supposed to behave afterwards. Yoongi had shrugged when you asked him, having no idea either, and you were afraid to ask your parents in case it was a sensitive subject.

The uncertainty and anguish was eating you up inside, so you got the surprise of your life when you sat down at a dinner your mother insisted you attend and who should turn up at the table, all smiles and hearty chuckles but your uncle. Your deceased uncle. Eyes wide and unbelieving, your mouth agape, you stared at him as he sat down beside your father after kissing your mother’s hand. He turned to flash you his signature grin but stopped upon seeing your awestruck face.

“What is the matter, sweetheart?” he said to you kindly. “Do I look such a fright? Ah, I knew I should have ridden in the coach instead of on horseback, but the weather was so pleasant today I couldn’t help myself.”

Your mother chastised you for making such an unladylike face but you couldn’t help yourself. Finally finding your tongue and locating your voice, you opened your mouth to ask, “Uncle, why are you here?”

“Didn’t your father tell you that I would be coming?” He turned to give your father a playfully stern look that made your father chortle.

“No, I mean, yes, he did, but, no… aren’t you… dead?” You sputtered. At your words, the merry chatter at the table stopped as everyone turned to look at you in surprise, and you knew you’ve made a mistake, but you didn’t know what it was. Your father frowned and you were quickly scolded for speaking of awfully morbid things at the dining table, but your uncle laughed it off, saying that it was probably just a nightmare.

Later, he knocked softly on your bedroom door, startling Yoongi who had covered himself under the sheets next to you as was his custom every night when you went to sleep. You turned your head to face the silhouette of your uncle as he opened the door and replied the affirmative to his request to enter your room. He seemed a little tired, but kept his cheerful vibe as he asked if you were alright. A reply was beyond you so you climbed into his lap and let him rub your back as you sobbed into his cotton shirt. His assurances that it was a nightmare did not quite convince you, but it calmed you down enough for you to fall into slumber.

The week dragged on, with you being more quiet than before, attempting to convince yourself that it was a bad dream. It was no use trying to get a confirmation out of Yoongi; his response would be that small smile, a little sadder this time around, or just a hug, which managed to pacify you somewhat. No matter how hard you pressed him, he would not answer your burning question: was it just a dream or did it really happen?

The answer presented itself to you just short of a week after that dinner. The cause of your uncle’s death was not revealed to you, nor did it cross your mind to ask; you were too young to fully understand the mechanisms of dying. All that mattered to you was that he was really gone, the funeral went on as it had before, Yoongi’s hand holding yours tightly proved that you were right all along, that it did happen, and it was happening again now, just as you knew it would.

After having almost a fortnight to deal with his death, as confusing as it was, the pain had become dull to you. But the sorrow was there. Your father took it hard this time, shutting himself off in his room, and your mother had her hands full rescheduling his appointments and cancelling events that she hardly had time to look on how her daughter was doing. You allowed your parents their period of grief, but you were not oblivious to the stares and whispers of the servants of your household. The contents of their murmurs were a mystery to you, but you were aware that their eyes were not kind. Some even started avoiding you.

It was a difficult time for you, just as it was for your parents, but it was about to take a turn for the worse. Unlike long scenes playing out with you participating in them, a fateful night brought you a short but clear vision of your mother collapsed in the garden. It was quick, almost a flash, and you were not in control, not if control meant screaming at the sight of her body immobile on the ground among the beautiful flowers. The next thing you remembered was sitting up on your bed, screaming still, and Yoongi’s efforts to grasp you and stop you from fleeing the bed was futile. He did not join your race towards your parents’ bedroom a few doors down from yours, your screams waking up the entire wing, but you couldn’t care less.

Relief flooded you when you wrenched open the door to find both your parents in bed, both alive, if not startled and displeased with you for waking them up in such a fashion. Missing your father’s frown when you described to them what you saw, you let your mother hold you in her arms, promising you that it was just a horrible dream, and your sobs died down when he pulled both of you in his embrace. For the first time in years, you slept with your parents that night.

The company of your parents that night did not prevent your heart from sinking the next morning when your mother asked you to join her for a morning stroll. You ignored the warning signals that crept up in your mind because you knew that your mother wanted to make up for her lack of attention towards you after the death of your uncle. The shadows under her eyes were evident, her steps slow and heavy, but her lips were carved into her normal, angelic smile.You tilted up your chin to look at her gazing down at you lovingly before you looked at the garden that was vividly shown to you last night. The sight of the bright chrysanthemums did not ease your worries, nor did the view of her unconscious form on the ground among them a few moments later as you screamed.

Your high pitched howl brought people running towards you in no time, and everything was a blur after that. The bedroom door was locked behind you after you were ushered in, something that had never happened before. Confused and upset, you were about to bang on the door when you saw Yoongi perched on the edge of your bed, motioning for you to come over. His hands immediately reached for you when you got close enough, but you could not stop bawling your eyes out while he stroked your hair gently.

Hours passed, night fell and the door finally opened to find you still wetting the front of Yoongi’s shirt with your tears. Without any explanation, you were wrenched out of his arms by two grown men and were pulled towards the door despite your objections. You tried to reach for Yoongi but it was useless, their pull was so ruthless that your arms were almost yanked out of their sockets. The last view you saw before you were hauled out into the hall was of Yoongi, standing by your bed, his own hand outstretched in a fruitless attempt to reach for yours, agony clear in his tear-filled eyes as he watched you being dragged away from him.

Stumbling, your little feet struggled to keep up with the grown men’s wider strides. You expected to be brought to your parents’ room, but they did not stop there. The kind, comforting face of your father was nowhere to be seen as you were dragged through the mansion towards the west wing, but the servants looked on at the spectacle, and no one bothered to hide their whispers this time.

“She killed her own mother.”

“Did her uncle die because of her, too?”

“She is an abomination.”

“Two people are dead because of her, how many more do you think will die if she is not stopped?”

“I always thought she is a pleasant child, but evil always knows how to hide itself well.”

“Do you think she will kill one of us next?”

“Maybe we shouldn’t look, one of us might end up dead tomorrow morning!”

“Her mother and uncle were good people.”

“What did they do to her for her to kill them?”

“She is a cursed child.”

These words and more would be etched into your brain forever, although you could not believe your ears. You did not do anything. You did not kill anyone. You loved your mother and uncle. She couldn’t be dead. She couldn’t be!

Soon you reached the far side of the mansion, and you were shoved into a large room you have never been in. The heavy oak door was swiftly shut behind you.

This was the room you were meant to spend the next decade of your life in.

Alone.

After so long, you made your peace with it. Ten years in the darkness without so much as an explanation convinced you that were a cursed child. Memories of your childhood slowly faded away, too painful for you to remember when this existence was all you knew now. Your tormented brain did its best to erase the faces that used to be familiar and loving to you, scrubbing out all that it could so that you became numb.

Ten years.

Deep in a dark abyss in a dimension unknown to man, a figure was just visible, hunched in a fetal position. Looking at him, it was impossible to tell if he was suspended in the air or sitting on something, the darkness was so absolute except for this young man, who glowed with ethereal light from a source that seemed to radiate from inside himself. He was still, unmoving, and one would wonder if he was dead, no one would be able to stay frozen for so long like that otherwise. And he might have been dead all this time for all we knew.

However, upon closer inspection, if one were to look closely, with eyes narrowed, one might be able to see.

His fingers moved.

[smartmcuth-blog]

All the character development questions!!

@nodebt | character development meme | not accepting !! (duh)

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

alex’s siblings were considerably younger than him, as none of them were any semblance of planned. he is estranged from the rest of his family —— partially because his mother had no siblings, partially because his father alienated all relatives on his side. aaron is closest in age to him, but he served more as a parent than a brother. he’s probably closest to amber because although he protected both of them with all he had, amber was the one whose hair he braided in the morning, the one whose bed he fell asleep in while reading her stories, the ones who sat on his lap when they were watching television. that isn’t to say that he wasn’t close to aaron; he just had a particular bond with amber.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

unfulfilled. even before her illness took hold, helen was fairly aloof —— both her & his father spent more time nursing a beer than they did taking care of him. still, she loved him; that was what mattered. she’d brush his hair before bed and pray for him to saint jude and bandage him up when he fell and she’d make him lasagna when they had the money because she knew it was his favorite. still, it was obvious that she had never intended to be a mother. she never gave up the lounge lizard lifestyle that she and jimmy had developed, even for him.

then she developed schizophrenia, and without the funds for proper medication, she spent more time in psychotic episodes than out of them. gone was the mother he knew & what was left were the hopes she would someday be herself again. he didn’t have enough time with her; she didn’t have the chance to really be his mom. all he had were the little snippets of memories with her, which was what he clung to when she became burdensome. they could have been so much more if they had the chance.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

warring. as with alex’s mother, jimmy was distant and aloof before he took to heroin, obviously never planned to be a father, but he took him to the fair sometimes and let him sip beer when no one was looking and taught him how to play the guitar.

that meant almost nothing to him when jimmy started using. they were just memories that hurt him more than they comforted him. at least his mother couldn’t help her fits of rage. she was sick; but jimmy? jimmy was just a son of a bitch who abandoned his family long before he actually left them. he had a heavy hand, and alex dealt with it almost nightly. the two were always butting heads, not only because  alex purposely pissed him off when he started going after amber or aaron so the bruises painted his skin instead, but because alex truly resented and hated jimmy for the way he treated his family. it was around the time that this started that alex realized family wasn’t always those you were related to. 

and that broke his heart. he wanted a dad. he wanted jimmy to get clean and tap alex out and take care of his family. he wanted playing catch in the yard and hugs after won matches and barbecuing together. he wanted to love jimmy, and that’s why what jimmy did hurt so much.

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

not necessarily witnessed something, but lived through something. his parents changed him. he wasn’t always gruff, callous, defensive. he was a lot more like aaron when he was a kid —— but a childhood of bruises and thievery and taking care of everything and constant survival mode changed him. the persona he put on to protect his family from questioning gaze, the persona he put on to stand up to jimmy, it was what he became. it was what he had to do to survive. amber and aaron obviously know about this, and a few others he’s gotten close enough do too.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

half-eaten granola bars can definitely be found in his scrubs, possibly a scrub cap, maybe a toy car or barbie doll in the pockets of his lab coat, his pager.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

alex rarely dreams because he gets so little sleep —— and if he does dream, he doesn’t remember it. on the rare occasion he does remember his dreams, they’re centered around his day or they’re completely outlandish and he can only remember little bits and pieces that don’t really make sense.

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

slightly more frequent than his dreams are his nightmares (still very infrequent), which are usually intense & vivid. as mentioned in a previous sleep headcanon, they’re usually about him not being able to protect his siblings from helen/jimmy or him screwing up and losing a patient or when he got shot. 

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

never; he hated them before he got shot & even more afterward.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

absolutely. he’s considerably more well off now than he was as a child. he doesn’t worry about whether or not the heat/lights/water will still be on when he gets home from school —— except on the rare occasions he forgets because he’s so busy at the hospital. he doesn’t worry about whether or not he’ll have a meal on the table or if he’ll get caught stealing it. he lives comfortable now, without fear of going without.

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

i’m gonna say ?? less. he isn’t ashamed of his body & he often sleeps either fully naked or in boxers. but it’s not like he cares about having to wear extra layers?

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

it’s a tie.

when he got shot, he was fearing for his own life. dragging himself into that elevator, losing the feeling in his extremities. unsure of whether or not anyone would find him, unsure of whether or not anyone would save him, unsure of whether or not his last moments would be spent staring at the ceiling of an elevator, a lifesaver unable to save his own life —— it was the most scared he has ever been for his own life. no confrontation with jimmy ever came close to the way he felt in that moment.

when his mother went after aaron with a steak knife, he was fearing for aaron’s life. he had never seen her move so fast. she lunged across the room like an animal, metal glinting in his hand before he even realized she had grabbed the knife off the table. (he couldn’t believe he left it there.) she was moving so fast, but everything around him was going in slow motion —— and it was a good thing too. it’s the only reason he was able to grab her and yank her back in time; but any longer & his brother would have been stabbed, possibly to death. 

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

alex is always, always the calmest in the o.r.; he is always the most comfortable when his hands are inside a body, when his scalpel is moving. even when he’s in a panic over what his next course of action should be, the o.r. is his happy place. it’s has chance to escape from everything happening in his life. he has to be calm, level-headed, steady-handed. the o.r. is where atlas no longer feels his burden, even as it suffocates him.

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

lmfao y’all

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

alex remembers faces much easier than names, which was an issue when he first started out. he could rarely remember the name of his patients —— both because he was so callous and because it was truly difficult for him. however, it has become easier the longer he has been a surgeon.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

no, not really. going without for so long hasn’t made him money-hungry. it’s more of a byproduct of his profession than something he actively pursued. if anything, he’s grateful to have money, but he isn’t greedy.

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

alex idealizes happiness. he thinks people who have it are lucky, but there are some people —— like him —— who are just dealt an unlucky hand. success, meanwhile, he has. he’s made something of himself. he’s come so far, and he’s proud. he used to idealize success, but now he has it, so now he wants and idealizes happiness. happiness is something he does have, but he wants a family on top of being a surgeon . that’s the ideal version of happiness for him now.

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

he had a teddy bear that his dad won for him at a fair. he brought it everywhere, even to the bar when his dad was playing and his mom was drinking. he couldn’t sleep without it. he eventually forgot about it as his relationship with his father deteriorated. it fell underneath his bed & when he found it years later, he did not hesitate before throwing it away.

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

alex absolutely admires ambition more. he admires those who go after what they want, those who persevere and persist because he feels a kinship with them. they’re someone who he can relate to & he will have more respect for those with that trait.

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

alex is terrified of dependency and furthermore being left by those he is dependent on because those he has depended on have always left/disappointed him, and those wounds are the ones that hurt that most. he’s incredibly afraid of loving someone, needing them, opening himself up and them walking out. because of this, he tends to lash out and be self-destructive whenever he feels himself getting too close or feels the other person pulling away. (@ him cheating on izzie, @ him fighting w those he cares about to keep them at arm’s length) this has definitely (and intentionally) destroyed relationships for him before, which he later beats himself up for.

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

the only time alex compares himself to others is during competitions, which almost everything was as a surgical intern. he looked to the progress of others to see where he stood, more so to criticize himself, push himself to be better. especially as an intern, he put on airs that he thought he was better, faster, superior —— but really, alex was worried that he wasn’t good enough to be a surgeon. he was worried he would fail at his one success in life; and so he took his cues from others, looking to them to see if he had to push himself.

during his residency and his current years as an attending, if he compares himself to others it is usually for self-validation; a reminder that he is the best. usually it isn’t to be cocky (though it comes off that way.) rather, it’s to reassure himself & he often compares himself preparing to be disappointed and instead being pleasantly surprised —— like when arizona was interviewing for the fellowship position & he spent the entire day worrying that he was not good enough, comparing himself to the competition. personally, he felt less than, and it wasn’t until he overheard the phone call where the woman admitted that all arizona did was gush about him that he felt validated.

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

alex almost always blames himself for what happens to him, but he lashes out at others whenever he feels this way. his internalized anger spills over and he uses it towards anyone within spitting distance, though it’s really meant for himself.

What does your character like in other people?

he likes ambition, drive, a sharp tongue, loyalty —— someone who is there for the long haul & who won’t bail at the first sign of trouble. he likes those with depth. he likes those who surprise him. he likes those who don’t take his shit & have no problem throwing it back at him, because those are the people worth getting to know.

What does your character dislike in other people?

overly chipper demeanors, condescension, ignorance, unwillingness to compromise when the situation calls for it, passive aggressiveness.

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

it takes him a while to get comfortable enough with someone else to trust them. trust has to be earned. he has to know that they’re worth trusting.

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

alex is extremely loyal, but if he suspects foul play, he’s going to confront the person —— regardless of how close he is to them. where he takes his suspicions from there, however, do depend on how close he is to the person. if he suspects meredith of slowcoding a patient, he’s not going to run to bailey and tell her. if it was nathan, however, he certainly wouldn’t have a problem.

How does your character behave around children?

!!!!! alex’s blunt, callous, aggressive demeanor melts away around children. he is all smiles and inside jokes and nicknames. comforting, kind, very in tune with how to approach/deal with kids of every age to keep them happy and calm. he’s not above singing their favorite song to calm them down, talking about their favorite superhero, or playing video games with them. as a matter of fact, he enjoys it. every social grace he lacks with adults he makes up for when around children.

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

a fight is not something alex is known to stand down from. it doesn’t matter if the altercation is verbal or physical; he stands his ground. on multiple occasions has meredith had to physical hold him back from going after someone. he does have a pretty bad temper & he gives into it without much hesitation.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

like,,,, i said, alex has no problem getting a good punch or two in. he would never lay hands on a woman, but he has no qualms decking a guy. this is a trait he developed as a teenager. people backed off after he kicked their ass —— left him alone, left his family alone. he never really grew out of it, but it’s not like he goes straight to punching right off the bat unless provoked. usually what sets him off is something bad said about someone he loves, something really bad said about him, a personal betrayal, or situations in which he feels he is protecting someone he cares about.

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

alex dreamt of getting out of burlington, iowa first and foremost, becoming a surgeon a very close second. ever since he was a kid, he excelled in sciences. there was never another option for him. obv his dream came true

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

drug use, for sure. other than that, poor hygiene generally repulses him

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

see “In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?”

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

u m honestly? 

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

it depends on who the criticism is coming from, how much he values their opinion, & whether or not he agrees with their opinion. when he gets reamed out by arizona or meredith, you can be damn sure that he’s going to listen & do his best to never make that mistake again. he takes that to heart & it usually takes someone calling him out on his bullshit like that for him to make reparations. however, if it comes from someone he doesn’t respect & is more of an attack on his character than anything he can actually improve upon, he’s more likely to be defensive and lash out against that person. but again, it really comes down to who the person is.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

as a surgeon, he has to know when to keep trying and when to give up. this is the fine line that he walks almost daily. does he keep at this approach and risk losing the patient, or does he switch to another and risk losing the patient? there is no definite answer to this question because it always depends on the case he is dealing with. different patients, different illnesses, different surgeries get different methods.

How does your character behave around people they like?

alex is very relaxed and open with those he likes. he’ll sit back with a beer and throw around some jokes, laughing, smiling. when not hanging out, he usually shit talks to them. “that guy’s an ass” and the like. that’s how to know you’re in with alex —— he’ll strike up conversation with you that doesn’t automatically involve him insulting/dismissing you.

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

he’s very cold. usually he’ll completely ignore their existence until they say something that he can use to insult them with/can laugh or scoff at. confrontational, rude, insulting —— they can all be used to describe alex when he doesn’t like someone. there are lots of smarmy comments and dirty looks. honestly, he’s kind of a bully.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

honor?? i guess. he doesn’t really care too much about what people think of him, but he knows he’s a good doctor & he won’t stand for being disparaged when it comes to that.

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

shit ma n….. again, i’m gonna have to say it depends on the situation. when it comes to protecting others, like his siblings, he’s more likely to remove the problem/threat, i.e. kicking jimmy out, than he is to run away from it. even when he can’t remove the threat, when he’s in it for someone else, he doesn’t run. (i.e. when izzie cut the lvad wire & he wanted to clean his hands of the situation immediately, but he stuck it out and didn’t give her up because that’s His Team. those are his people, even if they’re constantly at odds.) however, when it comes to protecting himself, he usually backs away from the situation. this is only when there’s no other way to deal with the situation.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

nothing more than being nipped by a few dogs, which didn’t make any lasting impression

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

he gives what he’s dealt; if the person across the counter is rude, short, and snippy, then he’s going to give that same attitude back. he doesn’t make scenes, however. if his order is wrong, he asks them to fix it without any fuss, and he thanks them when it’s fixed. half the time he just eats it anyway because it’s food and he isn’t picky.

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

he feels as though things need to be earned. if he gets something undeserved, he feels as though he has failed in some way. he’s spent his entire life fighting and surviving. he worked tirelessly to get to where he is today. he has earned what he wants, so he feels he deserves it.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

i guess bailey? he sees her as a kind of parental figure. (even tho imo she treats him like shit b ut)

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

ava? he took care of her the best he knew how & she was pretty dependent on him. mer’s kids as well; he definitely takes on his uncle role wholeheartedly. he picks them up from daycare when she can’t, he gets them dinner when she can’t, he gets them to bed when she can’t. when meredith was attacked, he was the one who watched them during her stay in the hospital.

and ik helen was related to him but she was his mom & she was much more dependent on him than he was ever able to be on her.

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

alex doesn’t just throw “i love you” around without meaning it. especially as an intern, he was very guarded, had never had a Real Relationship before. being in love scared him so much??? so he really couldn’t bring himself to say it to izzie when he did feel that way, but when he finally did, it was For Sure. it still takes him a while to say “i love you,” but when he says it, he means it —— and it’s deep-seated & genuine. honestly sometimes he doesn’t even realize that he has to say it because he assumes the other knows how he feels.

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

he doesn’t know honestly. he doesn’t really have a belief system, but growing up in a catholic household & christian society, part of him wonders if Maybe god and heaven and hell are real. usually he considers religion to be an excuse for mankind doing shitty things. if they can blame it on a higher power, they don’t need to feel guilty. personally, he’s okay with there not being anything after death. he doesn’t dwell on it too much.

[themomsandthecity]

6 Mom Truths I've Learned in Almost 5 Years of Parenting

I'm four and a half years into this parenting thing, and while I certainly don't have all the answers (except if you're looking for your lost lovey, then I'm your girl), I have learned a few things while keeping my 4- and 2-year-old sons alive up to this point. And the impending arrival of their baby sister has me thinking (read: freaking out) about starting all over again and somehow sticking to my guns with three little ones in the house. So I figure I'd better write down some of my personal "wisdom" as an easy reference for when I'm knee-deep in diapers and ready to relinquish all parenting responsibility to Netflix. Maybe these wise words can help you, too, if, like me, you're in the parenting preschoolers and toddlers phase of your journey as an underpaid referee who moonlights as a housekeeper. Related I Never Knew How Much I Wanted a Girl - Until I Finally Got One 1. Never turn down a free meal It doesn't matter if you have a newborn or your kid is 5, if someone - anyone - offers to bring you food at any time, accept. Don't hesitate, don't question it, don't wonder whether the person offering really has the time. There's nothing better than not having to think about what you or your family will put in their mouth for any one of the thousands of meals you are constantly eating. So when someone offers, just say yes. People want to help, and food really is the easiest way for friends and family to do that. So let them! Enjoy that meal that you didn't have to think about, shop for, or prepare. And allow this exercise to make it even easier for you to accept other offers of assistance (laundry, anyone?!), too. Then pay it forward when you're out of the weeds yourself. 2. Sleep is a nonnegotiable Once you're out of the newborn phase, it's time to get real about sleep. However you make it happen (cry it out or whatever method you choose), make it your first priority to get your kids to fall asleep on their own and stay asleep all night without your help. And then keep reinforcing it when they inevitably regress, or grow molars, or have nightmares. You're already stretched thin enough during the day as a parent, you can't afford to not sleep at night! Honestly, I don't even like myself when I'm sleep-deprived, so I can't imagine I'm a great wife or mom either. This is even more important if you have any chance of surviving more than one child. 3. Once you figure it out, it changes This is especially true in the first year of life when you're dealing with constant transitions like naps, solid foods, and developmental milestones, but it also continues into the toddler and preschool years (and I can only assume beyond that as well). Just when you think you're in a good spot with your 2-year-old, they start having epic meltdowns about the color of their sippy cup. A few weeks after you've figured out how to manage your 4-year-old's attitude, they come up with a new method of getting under your skin. Hang in there, because it won't last. Just telling myself this helped get me through the "grunting because they can't yet talk" phase and the "screaming at the top of their lungs when you cut the apple wrong" phase. It's also a good reminder to savor the smooth times. You know, those weeks when your family seems to be in a nice rhythm with more harmony and calm than chaos? Enjoy that, because it also won't last. Related 12 Things No One Tells You About Having a Second Baby 4. Don't poke the bear Of course you're curious about what they're up to and you want to see what they're playing with. You want to give them praise for figuring out how to build the Lego set themselves or ask them questions about the kind of doctor their stuffed bunny is visiting. But if your kid(s) are playing quietly by themselves, resist the urge to get involved. Savor the sweet silence or imaginary talk from afar and do not, I repeat, do not walk into the room, pass the doorway, or go remotely close enough that they might possibly hear you moving. And definitely do not comment. Let them be for as long as they'll keep it up and enjoy those precious minutes to yourself. 5. Stop talking so much This goes hand in hand with the above, but sometimes the best thing you can do as a parent is to talk less. They're eating their vegetables without being coerced by dessert? Don't say a word. They won't stop asking the same question that you've already answered three times? Stay silent. They're not complaining about the jeans that are usually "too itchy"? Don't ask. They're fighting with their sibling? Give them a chance to work it out before jumping in. Less really can be more, especially when you're fed up and prone to start spewing ridiculous threats that you'll never follow through on. Related WTF 3-Year-Olds?! 6. Saying yes (sometimes) is fun Kids ask for a lot of things - mostly hideous plastic toys you don't want in your house and treats with too much sugar - but sometimes they make a simple request to push the button for the automatic door at Nordstrom or to stop and see if there are coins in a fountain. The knee-jerk response to these random asks is often "no" because, obviously, you have somewhere to be or you're already halfway into the store, and why the hell does it matter?! But, ask yourself, why the hell does it matter?! When you can, say yes because first of all, it makes them disproportionately happy. Second, if you say yes to that request, they'll maybe be a little less pissed when you say no to everything else they want to do that day. http://bit.ly/2i68atE

[jeharvill]

Oliver 4, More

Member of the Family

At four years old Oliver is feeling like a “kid” in a new way. He’s a member of our family with much more ability to help out, influence choices, and be independent. I like this picture of him by the tree because he looks so big, just casually leaning there, chatting with me. 

Piggy Bank

How he got a piggy bank: We currently have assigned meals for the seven nights of the week, and Wednesday night is our restaurant night. We go to a sushi restaurant where we sit at the bar and choose dishes off boats. The owner is very nice and one day she brought Hazel over to the register and showed her a pink porcelain piggy bank and a beaded necklace. Hazel got to choose one gift to take home and she was delighted. She chose the necklace. Oliver then excitedly asked if he could have the piggy bank and the owner looked confused and said “No, no, it’s pink, it’s for girls.” Oliver was very sad and confused, but said “Okay” and returned to our seat. A few moments later the owner returned and said “Actually, if you want it, it’s okay, you can have it.” Hazel never particularly cared about her necklace, but the piggy bank has become a treasure to Oliver.

Oliver is thrilled whenever he finds a coin on the floor and he races upstairs to put it in his piggy bank. Hazel actually also loves to put coins in Oliver’s piggy bank. On one occasion Oliver asked to do chores to get money for the piggy bank and he did a very good job unloading the dishwasher. It was interesting to see him strategize about how to get all the dishes onto the counter and then get himself high enough to put them into the cabinets (picture above). Sometimes he put one dish up, climbed the tower, and put the dish away. Sometimes he worked in stacks. Sometimes he got distracted by arranging the dishes on the counter.

He loves to help with everything. In the morning at breakfast time Oliver and Hazel are both very eager to be given “jobs” such as “get the spoons”, “wash the berries” or “pour the milk”. Oliver wants to be the one to “get the blubes” (blueberries). He frequently says to me “I’m so hungry! It must be a growth spurt!” Then he says in a forced casual voice “I think I’ll look and see what to eat in the refrigerator”. He really wants to be allowed to casually choose things to eat. He’ll say “Hmm, I think I’m hungry for ... maybe ice cream.” All casual. This tactic has not been successful so now he says “Mama, I’m going to open the refrigerator to see what I want to eat, and then I’ll ask you before I eat it.” 

He also wants to choose his own way of doing things in general. He wants to take 20 minutes figuring out new and cool ways to climb the stairs at bedtime. He wants to climb through the passenger door or the trunk to get to his car seat. He ponders the variety of choices he has for how to wash his hands: plug the sink or no? Water first or soap first? Sit on sink, stand on tub edge, stand on stepping stool? Ten squirts of soap or just one? Hot water or cold? He’s really into the idea that he has his own way of doing things. 

Bedtime

Right now Oliver’s favorite books are Pippi Longstocking, Stewart Little, My Father’s Drag and BFG. Sometimes he laughs so much about what’s happening in his bedtime story that it’s hard to settle him down for sleep. I always love to hear him laugh.

I try to save time to talk with him about his day at bedtime. He says interesting things. One time he told me that he didn’t like going to school because he would find himself playing with people he didn’t like. He explained that his mind would not want to play with certain people, but his body would not listen and take him over there anyways.

This is a picture of him happy at school, showing that he’s traded shoes with his friend for the day. They decided to wear each others’ shoes home that night as well. I took out my phone to take a photo of Oliver and Hazel casually stepped into the picture. I have no idea who’s shoes she’s wearing. 

I’ve been doing a basic body-scan relaxation with him at bedtime to help him settle down. We started off doing a deep breath and saying “goodnight” to each body part, such as his toes and knees. I started noticing that he was less engaged with this routine after a week so now I use it as a chance to learn new anatomy. Instead of “goodnight knees” or “Goodnight arms” we say “Goodnight patella” and “Goodnight humerus”.

He’s asking me the names of his finger bones. He asks great questions like:

What’s in the middle part of my arm?

How does my arm move?

How do my muscles move my arm?

How are my muscles connected to my bones?

What color are my bones?

What’s on the inside of my bones?

He’s always had a lot of interest in anatomy. Recently he asked me “Do babies know if they’re girls or boys?” And we talked about what it means to be a girl or boy and what a baby could know. We talked about how babies need to learn to categorize things in general. And he surprised me by saying “Women have breasts, vulva, and uterus and men have just nipples, penis and no uterus. (pause) And testicles.” I was really surprised that he thought about internal anatomy. 

Anyhow, back to bedtime. After body relaxation I sing him “Goodnight Bon Oui” and “This Pretty Planet”. Oliver and I have collaborated to rewrite some of the words and add a verse. This is our version:

This pretty planet Floating through space Your garden, your forrest, your sleeping place Golden sun shining down Gentle blue planet, spin us around All through the day, Turn towards the milky way

This blue green planet Floating in space Your school, your playground, your sleeping place Silver moon shining bright Glow in the sky, give us the light All through the night Turn towards the morning light

The line about “give us the light” was a contribution of Oliver’s that he felt especially proud of.

Oliver and I continue to both sincerely believe that we only have nightmares when we are too hot or we have to pee.

Naps and Tantrums

Stormier tantrums have been a part of life with Oliver for the last few months. For good reason, there are no photos or videos of this side of him. We’ve dramatically cut back on sugar and we’re seeing a noticeable positive shift in mood swings. 

Oliver is transitioning away from naps right now and his behavior is pretty different depending upon whether he’s had a nap. Some evenings when he has not had a nap he’s sweet and cheerful, but he has no control over his impulses. He might do something like grab a glass of water and pour it on the floor and then look at me with genuine bewilderment and say “I’m sorry, I just .. uh, did that.”

Sometimes he comes up with interesting rationalizations for why he did things, as in one instance I recorded where we were on the sidewalk and he rode is scooter way ahead of me. I yelled out “Stop! Oliver, Stop!” and chased him. When I caught up to him zooming along and stopped him he explained that he hadn’t stopped when asked because he thought I was yelling “Shock! Oliver, Shock!”

One thing I see a lot from Oliver right now is extreme emotions. If he says something like “I want you to play trains with me” and I can’t at that moment he immediately adopts an exaggerated sad posture with his head hanging very low, his lower lip stuck way out, his arms slack by his side.

He morphs from casual posture to despondent posture in a flash when Hazel refuses some request for a toy or to play. When she grabs toys away from him he is old enough to usually control the impulse to grab it right back. He might instead kick the air and say in a stern voice “I was using that, give it back!” and if Hazel says no he falls apart.

Here’s an example, very typical right now: One evening we made popsicles. Oliver made one with pineapple juice, and two that were a mix of pineapple and apple juice. Hazel got to choose the recipes for her popsicles. The next morning when it was time to eat them Hazel looked at Oliver and said “You can’t have pineapple” and he collapsed in tears on the floor. After he explained to her that his feelings were hurt, I explained to him that she didn’t actually get to choose if he could have pineapple.

One kind of behavior which is new is rants about how unfair things are. He might say “I wish you weren’t my parents and I lived in a different house because you guys never let me have any fun!” One time when he didn’t want to leave a play date with Micah he said “I wish Micah’s family had three kids and I was one of them because you guys never let me play!”

As I said, I don’t have photos of him when he’s in a tantrum, so I’ll use this photo where he’s pretending to be a fierce fighter with a stick:

Responsibility

Oliver is really stepping into much greater responsibility in his daily routines. He still would rather that I put his clothes on for him, but he now consistently (and grudgingly) does it himself. When Oliver makes a mess he doesn’t especially like being the one to clean up, but he understands that it’s something he has to do. He remembers to lock and close his car door. He likes to buckle his own carseat. He likes to help pack his lunch. He cleans up the toys in his bedroom before bed. And right now we’re practicing getting out of bed, walking to the hall bathroom, peeing, washing hands, and getting back in bed by himself at night. We also practice a lot of sidewalk safety such as pausing at driveways and looking for cars.