#And then his Dad showed him how to make Pizza when he was older-

[whereismyhat5678]

Could Peppino give me some pasta? 🤌

Pasta!! Come get your Pasta!! Made by yours truly!! 🍝🍝

[realian]

my biggest hope for the new Devil May Cry anime is that it doesn't lose what makes DMC so cool, which is the sheer brazen uncoolness of its characters.

Dante is a middle-aged man who is semi-unemployed and constantly late on rent because his shop is in the middle of nowhere and nobody knows what he does. every time he gets a job he destroys two houses because he can't help showing off to absolutely no one. he loves his mom, pizza, and strawberry sundaes. he doesn't smoke. he doesn't drink. he doesn't curse. his place of business is decorated with posters of scantily-clad women but as far as we're aware, he has never had sex.

Vergil is Dante's older twin by a couple hours whose superiority complex originates in how he's Dante's older twin by a couple hours. he spent his childhood reading William Blake poetry but doesn't understand it. he runs around with just a katana because he considers guns to be "cowardly." he has only had sex once in his entire life. this resulted in him becoming a deadbeat dad, but not even the archetypical "cool" kind because he is somehow convinced that Nero is Dante's kid. we have actual in-canon confirmation that if he wasn't part demon, he would be a melodramatic pretentious poetry-obsessed twink. Vergil abandons his pursuit of power not jusf for the sake of Nero but because Nero is his power realized - his legacy - the ability to protect loved ones without killing them. he loves Nero but will never under any circumstances admit it because he has the emotional maturity of a 12-year-old. instead he throws a journal of William Blake poems at him and jumps off a cliff.

compared to the rest of his living family, Nero is thriving. he has a job, a house, a wife, and several foster kids. when a suspicious hobo shows up on his doorstep he invites him in for dinner. he thinks Dante is his dad. Dante knows Nero is his brother's kid because he has never had sex. Nero is viewed by Dante as an incompetent child who needs guidance and protection despite Nero being a grown adult and being more mature than Dante and Vergil in every way and yet neither of them will ever acknowledge this. when Nero hears about Dante and Vergil's battle-to-the-death rivalry he decides it's stupid and shoves them apart like they're two kids in a playground brawl. he's the dad now. fuck you.

[tinytennisskirt]

Sweetheart

girl dad!patrick x babysitter!reader

summary: the growth of a mutual ‘crush’ between babysitter!reaser and the father of the little girl she babysits. problem is, he’s about fifteen years older than her and they get along a little too well. he has to remember fucking a twenty-year-old is wrong, no matter how much he might want to. no matter what other feelings might be involved… he just knows what he wants and it’s hard to ignore it when she feels the same way.

warnings: unedited from the notes app and i accidentally switched tenses so ignore that!!! and SMUT. tension. flirting. age gap, obvi! sex. sex. sex. rough.

babysitting for DILF! Patrick, his house is a little cluttered and messy but it’s his. He’s fixing his screen door when you come by, he’s got a nail clenched between his teeth, he’s not worried.

he thought you’d be younger, sixteen, maybe, but you’re twenty and a half, he deducts from asking about your birthday. he still thinks you’re gorgeous before he does the math, he’s a bit of a dirtbag that way…

tells you all about his daughter and what she likes to watch, what she likes to eat, says you can order pizza if you want and as long as she’s asleep by midnight, he’s happy. he’s more carefree than other parents you babysit for. you find your eyes resting on the muscle of his upper arm as he shows you around the house just so you can find your way. part of his introduction is just flirting, his face getting a little close to yours with that smirk of his.

you’re standing your ground and he likes that. he’s only half-aware of his intentions. asks again what your hourly rate is and when you tell him, he tacks four dollars onto it. you’re saying thank you, but he says he’ll be back by 1:30 and he’s out the door.

his daughter, dark curls and freckles is standing on the steps. she’s a happy girl, she’s polite and she’s smart, like- gifted smart. she’s silly and has hobbies of building cubes out of paper. she teaches you how and soon you’re in a pile of paper cubes.

she’s in bed by ten just because you asked her to be and she’s not fussy at all, just silly when she brushes her teeth. she has a good sense of humour and makes good references. as you tuck her into her pretty pink room with lots of books, she tells you she has ice cream in the freezer and that you’re welcome to it because she only pretends to like the flavour her dad buys her- eating it would help her out. she’s only six but her brain is amazing. you hope you see her again.

she goes to sleep and you turn off her lamp and slip out of her room. the hallway is dimly lit and you find yourself looking at the pictures on the wall. patrick was or is a tennis player, there are trophies on top of cabinets and old player photos. old player IDs and he was… hot. not that he wasn’t now, he was, but he was your age in these photos no doubt… came naturally to find him attractive. you continue down the hall and his daughter starts appearing in photos and he looks a little older but you’re noticing that there’s not a single photo of her mother.

it’s just them, you deduct. she’s not in any picture so she must not be in the

picture. you get the small tub of ice cream from the freezer and eat it on the couch, finding a show you’re fond of and watching it, finishing the small bit left, twirling the spoon around in your mouth.

you get up and look around the house a bit more. observing the clutter of books where his daughter sits on the couch, walking to where there’s a bit of sports equipment, tennis rackets, a few looking a bit… broken. smashed. you wondered if he broke them himself. your fingers traced over the pictures on the kitchen wall. he looks good without facial hair, you note, but you prefer him with. he looks like a great dad, the various photos of him and his daughter in various places, the beach, outside of a restaurant, pictures of her holding up his trophy while sitting on his shoulders. a duo for sure.

you wash your dishes in the sink and decide to maybe tidy up a bit, cleaning a few other things. you wipe down the counters and make the clutter into piles. you busy yourself until you hear the key in the lock. you’ve made the living room neat and tidy and you don’t know what to do when he comes in and he looks over everything. you just stand in the centre of the living room.

“she was really good,” you say, hand on your stomach. “she really likes broccoli, which i didn’t expect, but she showed me how to make paper cubes and she was in bed around ten, so i cleaned a little bit.”

he looked a little rustled, his shirt a little more wrinkled and his curls a little more all over. you assumed he’d had a good night out. he looked good, though. lucky woman, you were thinking. “yeah, i see.” he chuckled, setting his jacket down on the back of the couch.

you’re young and you’re shy and he can tell you’re nervous, “it’s okay? you don’t mind, i hope you don’t mind.”

“i don’t mind,” he grinned, pulling out his wallet, “it looks good, i never would have done it.” he steps closer, close to you, just in front of you, looking down at you. you’re under his gaze and he keeps eye contact with you as he pulls out his wallet and you’re a little taken aback by how intense it is. “i owe you how much?”

you state your old rate and he just grins, dimples on his face. the ones you only saw in his photos with his daughter. he smells like cigarettes and cologne. something about the way he looks at you makes you feel a little weak. your eyes fall on his hand as he flicks through bills, handing you about $60 more than you were owed. his bonus and a second bonus for the cleaning. “you don’t have to… i usually tidy up where i babysit.”

“well, i didn’t ask you to, nor did i expect it.” he says, grinning down at you. it’s smug and he smells good and he’s looking at you like you’re a meal and you kind of like it but he’s… an older guy. he has a daughter and she’s asleep and he’s tall and you are staring. he’s hot. he’s really hot and he’s looking back at you, “thank you. i’ll probably need you again in a week, are you free?”

you blink, “i’m free.” you tell him. “thank you… again. i really should be going.”

“do you need a ride home? she’s okay to be alone for a few minutes.” he’s still close, he’s still standing over you.

“thank you, but i’m okay. i just walked over, i listen to music there and back.”

“you’re sure? it’s late.” his grin is all consuming. you’re sure it’s stealing your thoughts as you continue to blank.

“i’m sure. thank you again. for everything.” you step past him and he turns with you as you go and slip on your shoes.

“thank you,” he says, shoving his wallet back into his pocket. “have a good night, alright?”

“i’ll try. goodnight mr. zweig,” you smile as you pull open the front door.

“patrick.”

“hm?”

“call me patrick.” he repeats, nodding.

“goodnight, patrick.” your smile grows into a grin and you slip out the door. he hates how he feels about you. you’re cute, he notes, but you had something about you. something he observed when he was handing you your pay that told you there was something more to you. more than nervousness and doe eyes and mid-length skirts. maybe not. but you’d be back here next week.

he heard how much his daughter liked you the next day. she rambled on and on about how pretty you were and how sweet and nice you were, how good your food was. patrick found it good to hear, the other babysitters often couldn’t handle her, but you seemed to with ease.

the next babysitting gig you were wearing a baby tee. a short sleeved, almost cropped t-shirt and jeans and you greeted him as mr.zweig again and this time he didn’t correct you. he told you to help yourself to anything in the fridge and that he’d be back around 1:00 this time. your bright eyes lingered on his hands, his forearms as he spoke, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. you couldn’t help it, he was gorgeous. and tall. he was very tall and very strong looking and maybe, just maybe it couldn’t hurt to have a small crush on him. only natural right?

he wasn’t oblivious. he saw the way you nodded when he was speaking. the way you fidgeted with the ring around your pinkie finger. you were gorgeous and you were sweet but you were young. too young. and he was going out on a date with a woman who was in fact, age appropriate. he wasn’t opposed to watching the way your hips moved or the way your ass looked when you went upstairs to find his daughter, but he was opposed to doing anything about it. you were a good treat. that was about all he could let himself think.

you had a good time with his daughter and once again put her to bed just a little earlier. 9:30. she didn’t mind, you did so much with her that she was right out. you swept, did some dishes, nothing too noticeable. you’re sprawled out on his couch when he gets back, you don’t even hear him come in. he nods, watching you watch tv for a minute before he makes himself known. he doesn’t want to startle you, so he jiggles the doorknob and pretends to shut the door so you wouldn’t know he’d been watching for a moment. you turn your head and sit up. “no rush,” patrick says with a smile. “how was she?”

“excellent.” you reply, sliding your hands down your thighs and onto your knees. “she’s amazing, i’ve never met any little girl so well-behaved and so smart. she’s very well-rounded. you did a great job.”

you almost made a grown man bashful. he smiled, looked at the wall, “she doesn’t get any of it from me. it’s all her mom.”

“oh… how long has it just been the two of you? i assumed… from the pictures.”

“her mom left a year in,” patrick replied.

“so it is from you.” you answered. “must be, who else?”

“must be.” he said, a bigger smile creeping up his face. “so you come over, watch a kid and flatter the parents, hm?”

“yes but only when i feel like it.”

“does it work?”

“with you, yes.” you were more bold, he noted. last time he’d made you nervous but he was standing just far enough away where you could hold your own. he wondered, stepping closer, if he could change that. he did the same thing as last time and stood over you while he went though his wallet for his money.

he hands the money to you, “that’s enough?”

you look at him with those wide eyes again, “mhm. yes. more than. thank you.” he was right, all it took was the close proximity to make you nervous. “you know i wasn’t trying to flatter you?”

“i’d prefer you pretend you were so i can pretend to hate it.” he chuckled, “thank you.”

“for?”

“she really likes you. you’re good with her. i’ll need you again in two days, are you free?” he smiles down at you. his eyes linger on your lips, slightly open. he found himself thinking impure things as he stared. he wouldn’t stop himself. there was no reason to stop himself. what a treat you were to have around, he reminds himself. such a pretty thing.

you smile at his ask, “i can be. i’ll text?”

“sounds good.” he nods. “need a ride home?”

“i’ll be okay.” you nodback. “thank you though.” you pick up your sweater and get your shoes on. you’re sweet, patrick wonders why you’re so okay with walking. it would cut the time to get home in more than half. aside from time alone with you, he does have a daughter and he would like it if you got home safe. “goodnight, mr. zweig.”

“patrick,” he corrects you again with that gorgeous, sly grin of his “please.”

“patrick.” you say, locking it in. but it feels wrong. too personal. “goodnight.”

“goodnight, Y/N.” he answers. your name on his tongue feels so strange to hear. you’re pressing your back to the door. god, he’s fucking hot. the other parents you’ve babysat for are very much so married and both balding, the boys your age weren’t so charming. this might be a problem, you developing a small crush… earlier it seemed fine, but faced with him. dear god.

you were back there a few days later and was patrick mistaken or was your short a little shorter? a tank top, completely reasonable for the heat, but it hit just above your belly button, just under if you weren’t moving. it’s not like it was inappropriate, if anything what was a babysitter if not hot? patrick remembered his babysitters from back when he was a kid and yeah, they were always hot and older and just out of reach. you fit the genre today expect not the older part. you were younger- much younger. at least your skirt was mid-length.

he looked at you, “you know my rules. that i really don’t have any and i’ll be back at 1:00, 1:30 latest.”

“leaving some room for a kiss goodbye,” you said under your breath. he caught that.

“something like that,” he smiled. if he didn’t know better, it was a pass at him for going out with women. it made him grin, in fact. it had some affect on you and you’d only seen him how many times?

you wouldn’t do anything, you knew that, but he seemed to look better and better every time you saw him. at first it was black polo t-shirts and jeans and he’d moved to long sleeved shirts with the sleeves rolled up and he smelled so fucking good, it was hard to ignore. you looked another way at his response, knowing he’d heard you, but what did it matter. could have meant anything… he could fire you if he thought you were bitter or judgemental.

his daughter was so excited to see you, she practically leapt into your arms. she was a thin girl, short in stature, it was no big deal. the perfect saved by the bell moment. “y/n!” she exlaimed. she was so happy to see you, it made patrick chuckle a little. you held her to your hip and something in him shifted just a little, seeing her resting in the crook of your hip like that. it flashed through him like a blast of heat and then it was gone. “you have to come see what i made today. a big cube!” she was so excited.

patrick shook off whatever the hell he just felt, snapping back to reality. “alright, honey, i’m heading out.” he told his daughter. he advanced a step to ruffle her braided hair. you wondered if he braided it himself… the thought was interrupted by his hand sliding over your waist just for a split second, enough for the leverage to kiss his daughter on the forehead. before you could think, his hand was gone and he stepped toward the door, grin on his face. “have fun. if you end up eating the ice cream, save me the last few bites.”

“okay!” she called to her father as he opened both doors, waving enthusiastically at her as he shut them behind himself. the second he was gone, she turned to you, “you’re eating it, not me.”

“deal,” you nodded at her. and you went upstairs to go see her big paper cube. You had her in bed at 9:30 again. you went to lay on the couch, kicking your feet up, your eyes settling on the picture of patrick on the wall. he was a good looking guy at your age. freshly shaved, not exactly baby-faced but compared to now, entirely baby-faced. you wondered what his type was, his daughter was such a little copy of him. she was a pretty little girl, long eyelashes and pigmented lips. her nose wasn’t exactly a button nose, but it was only a little bigger and it was perfectly proportionate.

you got up, looking at the pictures on the walls again. him, clean shaven, holding his daughter as a baby, big smile on his face. you smiled just a little at it. and the one of him holding her up in the air like she was simba from the lion king. she said her father helped her with the big cube… he was a good father. and she was lucky to have him.

you went and you got the tiny ice cream tub from the kitchen along with a spoon and you followed the pictures down the hall again. the pictures turned more to tennis memorabilia as you got closer to the end of the hall, where his room was. you found it really admirable that he never brought a woman back to the house. you stared at the door, just a little curious, but you weren’t that kind of person, so you continued to eat the ice cream and sat down on the couch again, snooping through his DVDs instead.

you left him about a cup and a half serving in the tub and watched pineapple express and thirty minutes or less and he came home at 1:05am. you turned, eyes meeting his before any words were spoken. he smiled just a little, “how was she?”

“perfect. you’re raising an angel, did you know that?”

“news to me,” he said, dropping his wallet and keys on the table by the door, adjusting his belt just a little. your eyes lingered on his hands. “here i thought i just had a daughter.”

“well, your daughter is an angel. she showed me her big paper cube, she’s very proud but she made sure you got your credit.” you said, moving your feet to the floor.

“i just held it together while she taped, she’s very authoritative when she needs to be.” he headed more into the house and you rose to your feet. “but she’s good with you. she likes you a lot, she doesn’t let me go a day without hearing about something you said or something you like.“

“ooh, and what do i like?” you said, moving around the couch to meet him on the other side. his hand was in his pocket, he grinned a little, that dimple on his face on full display.

“she says iced tea and chinchillas.”

“ooh, i do like those things.” you smiled a little. “she knows me.”

you were so peppy, he wasn’t one to want to get rid of that, but he was looking forward to his favourite part of the nights with you. he stepped forward, the same fashion as always, close to you. grabbed his wallet again, went through his bills. pretended not to notice the way you instinctively pushed your hair behind your ears. you were met with the scent of his cologne again. “she really does like you, you know. do you watch kids during the day? i have something to attend to on wednesday and i need you friday night. you’re free then?”

“i think so.” you nodded. “and i do watch kids during the day, i would love to come by and watch her, how long were you thinking?” your sentences lost their pep and spice at his closeness.

“i’ll let you know,” he nodded, handing you the money and meeting your eyes, sly grin on his face still. you were so pretty, all doe-eyed. “i paid you until 1:30, by the way,” he said, watching you eye the money in your hands. “to spare the thirty minutes kissing goodbye before i came home.”

you pressed your hand to your head, “i am sorry i said that, it’s not my place.” you were more apologetic than you’d been when he was several feet away the first time you thought it him.

he just grinned, knowing he made you feel bad for something he didn’t take to heart. “you were right. no shame in it.” he said. “how are you getting home?”

you uncovered your face, “bus today.”

“you know who rides the bus at 1 am?”

“me?”

“not tonight.” he said. “i’ll drive you.” he didn’t even ask this time. “c’mon.” he tossed his keys up and snatched them out of the air and it was hot. he was too hot. too hot to be in a car with for the ten minute drive.

you swallowed hard, grabbing your jacket and slipping out the front door, patrick locking it behind him. he had a camera outside his door, she’d only be alone asleep a little while. “you don’t have to drive me home, mr. zweig,” you spoke up once you were more than a few feet away. “i usually make it just fine on my own.”

“i’d feel better seeing you get home safely.” he said, opening the passenger door for you. you hadn’t thought him the type to. “you live with your parents?”

“no,” you said, getting in. his car was a little messy but it was mostly papers and an empty cigarette carton or two. you moved them to the back seat. “i have an apartment off aberdeen street.”

“mmm, yeah i know where that is.” he nodded, starting the car. “just want to see to it you get home alright. i haven’t been the best with it, but you’re the best babysitter we’ve met and i can’t have you going missing or see you in the obits.”

“morbid,” you noted, smiling. “i’m that good? is that your thing, babysitter comes over, watches your kid, and then you flatter the baby sitter?”

patrick grinned wide as he reversed, which was hot, his arm on the back of his seat as he did. “yeah, but only when i feel like it.” he rebutted. you smiled.

“and does it work?”

“you tell me,” he answered, your heart skipped a beat. he was probably the hottest man you’d ever seen in your life and you had to come to terms with that. you swallowed hard. he was good with callbacks.

you couldn’t even answer his question. you had to straighten out, recalibrate. he understood your silence. maybe he’d overstepped with that last one. “does she like tennis?” you asked him.

his smile got humble, “i tried. she’s not a sports girl.”

“that’s fair. neither am i.” you nodded. “tried, couldn’t.”

“also fair.” he chuckled. “so what kind of girl were you?”

“were or am?” you asked. he hated that he wanted to know so badly… he hated wanting to know anything about you, but he wanted everything. the image of his daughter resting on your hip flashed in his mind again. “i think more… writing. reading”

“anything good?”

the conversation continued, going over books and ones he skipped reading in highschool. that and tennis, his career. you were impressed. and he pulled into the lot of your building, putting the car in park.

“thank you for the ride,” you said, just a little desperate to get away from him. all the closeness and the conversation god he was so fucking hot. the car smelled like him and the cigarettes and you were just a little bit dazed.

he chuckled, watching you undo your seatbelt, his eyes on the exposed skin of your waist. “i’ll see you wednesday?”

“i still need a time,” you nodded, “but i’ll stay flexible.” you said, opening the car door. you could smirk when he wasn’t so close to you. he smiled back. “see you then. thank you again for the ride home.”

“you’re welcome, sweetheart,” he grinned. and he was evil. he knew it. he watched your expression struggle to stay the same, those pretty eyes wide. you smiled a little nervously, shutting the door and fully reacting once he couldn’t see you. you tried to compose yourself, but your body felt like it had burst into flames. you waved, going into your building as fast as you could. the entire ride up the elevator, you were thinking about it. replaying it, repeating his sentence in your own voice just completely thrown. it was a lot. sweetheart.

fuck. you took a cold shower but it wasn’t enough to keep your hand from diving between your legs. back arched, sweetheart echoing around your head. imagining those hands of his on your throat, wide, strong. he probably tasted like cigarettes and god, the thought of it was more than enough. it was only the first time of a few that night that you did the same thing.

the next morning you woke up feeling just a little confused, but he was the first thought in your head. and what was two more times before breakfast?

you got up eventually, grabbing your phone off the counter where you’d left in such a haste last night. you looked over the new messages in your phone,

was thinking 3-7, that work for you?

with freshly washed hands, you typed back

sounds good.

so casual. and you got there at 2:55pm on wednesday. patrick was dressed for tennis, leaving with his rackets. “you still play.” you said, looking at his things. “game day?”

he let you in, smiling, “practice. hi.” he noted your skort and tank top. more skin. “have you had lunch?”

“no, actually, i was just going to wait until dinner-“

“there’s hot dogs on the stove,” he said. “help yourself.” he seemed like he was in a rush, grabbing his water bottle. “and iced tea in the fridge. yours.” he said, grabbing his keys. he stopped in front of you, close to you, smile on his face. it clouded your thoughts a moment. “see you at seven.”

“see you,” you replied warily, blinking hard. he looked you up and down before leaving. you slowly made your way up the steps. it was a good thing his daughter was so happy to see you, you would have read into that.

she talked to you all about her drawings, showing you one of yourself. she was so sweet. she talked to you all about her drawing of her dad, her tennis rackets oddly detailed in crayon. you spent the afternoon together, you helped yourself to one of the cans of iced tea in the fridge.

patrick was back by four, just a little sweaty. you hated that. after last night’s sex imagery, seeing him all sweaty was a horny girl’s nightmare.

“dad!” his daughter greeted him by jumping up on him. he dropped his bag to pick her up. “me and y/n made hot dog people. come eat, come eat.” she said. you pressed your lips together to stop from smiling when patrick shot you a semi-confused look. he carried her into the kitchen, you grabbing your purse, getting ready to go. you had just finished making dinner, which you didn’t have to do, turning the hot dogs from lunch into a topping for the macaroni and cheese you’d made. that and broccoli. simple, something little miss picky eater would have.

“wow,” patrick nodded, looking at the hot dogs that had been cut strategically in person. he looked at you, sitting in the chair at the table with her on his knee. “you did all this?”

“all this?” you chuckled, “of course not, i had help.”

“i stirred,” his daughter nodded.

“very good.” patrick nodded. “think you’re going to be a chef?”

“maybe,” she said, a little sing-songy. “i’m

good at stirring.”

“she’s so good at stirring,” you nodded. patrick chuckled, eyes set on you. “i’ll get going.” you said, checking your purse for your phone. “you guys enjoy. i’ll be back tomorrow, so no need to pay me.”

“n- why don’t you stay for dinner? i didn’t hire you to make us food and run.”

“please!” his daughter leapt off his lap and pulled you to the chair. “eat!”

you smiled, “thank you. i really can’t though, i have to run! i’m so sorry, baby.” you crouched down to her height. she pouted. “if i didn’t have to go meet my mom, i’d be here eating our food, i promise.”

“your mom?”

“my mom came to visit me today, she’s at my apartment waiting. i’m so sorry, baby.” you said, wrapping your arms around her. patrick watched the way her arms wrapped around you too. she really, really liked you. “i’ll see you tomorrow night though. i’ll be here early, we can make dinner again and everything. whatever you want.”

“can we make pizza?”

“it’s a friday night, why not?” you smiled. it was cute. “i’ll bring the ingredients tomorrow.”

“yay!”

“yay is right.” you kissed her cheek and cupped her face just a little before standing up again. “you enjoy your hot dog people.” you said. you looked at patrick, who hadn’t seen you in action with his daughter yet. he was a little bit in awe. she loved you. it was more than a like. the other babysitters were tantrum material but you were an angel just the same as his daughter. he hated how he was thinking about you after something so pure, thinking about you. eyes lingering on your thighs, your waist. thinking about you, something so fucking paternal in him wanting you. it was dark. “i’ll see you both tomorrow.” you said, giving him a little look. it was cheeky. like you knew something.

“thank you,” patrick nodded.

you nodded back, waving bye to his daughter before slipping out the door. patrick would be lying if he didn’t give into himself that night. his hand pressed to the shower wall, hand pumping as the water poured over his body. he hated himself for it, but it was your image that pushed him over the edge. his daughter fast asleep, his thoughts were disgusting. he felt disgusting, it’s why he chose the shower. you were too young. and well he was a bit of a dirtbag, the age gap was enough to even throw himself off.

you, your little shirts and little skirts, the way you looked in jeans, the pout to your lips, your eyelashes, your eyes that screamed innocence when he got too close. fuck, it was dirty the way he thought about you. he thought about fucking you on that couch you were always on. the extent to which his mind went was so fucking wrong, so wrong, he reminded himself. he went to bed guilty. a grown man turned guilty.

patrick was glad he had a date the next night. someone to fuck his age to get you out of his head. he was never more glad for a sad date. his eyes fixated on you. “gonna let me in?” you smiled. he realized he was just standing in the doorway after you knocked. a near-bashful grin spread up his face, turning sly. “you know, you’re paying me by the hour and it’s 5 right now. you’re paying me to stand outside your door.”

he smirked, moving out of the way to let you in. he smelled good, date night cologne. you almost rolled your eyes. “i pay you enough for it, don’t i?”

you giggled a little, “true! i’ll go back out there if you want.”

he chuckled, fixing the cuffs of his sleeves. “i wouldn’t hate to see it. if you didn’t make a promise for pizza to little miss upstairs. all she’s talked about.”

“oh i love that, i’m so excited,” you said, putting the bag of ingredients on the table. “i was thinking of making you one too, are you a fan of pepperoni?”

“big fan,” he nodded. “olives too.” he looked into the bag of ingredients, pulling them out.

“you don’t have somewhere to be?” you asked, coming to help pull things out of the bag with him. “hot date?”

“something like that,” he answered a little monotone. “i’ll be back at one.” he nodded, backing away. you nodded back, following him to the door. god, he needed to leave for his date before your eyes got to him. your hand trailed the back of the couch, walking with him. “that’s okay?”

“you’re asking me?”

“you look like you’re about to tell me my curfew,” he replied, grabbing his wallet and keys.

you smirked just a little. your mind wandered down to his hands, the hand that had your waist just days before. your eyes met his, “oh yeah. come home when the streetlights come on?” you joked, that gorgeous smile his main focus.

he grinned, “i’ll try,” you were so cheeky, god he wanted to fuck that grin off your face, he had better be gone before he did. “have fun with the pizza, help yourself to the drinks in the fridge. she’s in the backyard.” he held his keys a little too tight in his hand.

your smirk stayed. he’d never been more glad to be going out as he drove over with your voice in his head. he ordered a drink as soon as he could.

your pizza night went well. it was good, delicious, even. she was a good little helper, obsessed with getting everything perfect on her dad’s pizza. you smiled. she slept early again, tired from all the pizza and karaoke and dancing. you were a little bit tired too. you hopped on that couch and you were out like a light.

you woke to patrick’s hand gently on your shoulder. you blinked a few times, rubbing your eyes. “oh my god, i fell asleep.”

“you’re okay,” he chuckled. “it’s a good couch for it.”

“great for it, apparently.” you nodded, sitting up. “i’m so sorry, that’s so irresponsible of me.”

“it’s late, it’s understandable.” he replied. “i’ll drive you home.”

you tilted your head, with a smile, “kicked out so fast. i’m so sorry for falling asleep on your couch, if i’d known it would ruin the way you see me, i would have never even sat on it.”

he chuckled, “okay, c’mon. i’m not kicking you out, i’m getting you home in one piece.”

“i appreciate it,” you smiled genuinely. “but i’ll be okay.”

“you were asleep about two minutes ago,” he said. “you’re not going home alone.”

you really couldn’t handle another ten minutes alone with him in his car. your hand was still cramping from the other day. he gestured the way of his car. “you had fun?”

“so much,” you told him. “she insisted on making your pizza ‘happy’ which took her about thirty minutes because the smile didn’t look right. your pizza is resting on the stove. she devoured hers and probably half a bag of mozzarella cheese.”

“she loves cheese,” he chuckled. “i’ll need you again tomorrow, is that okay?”

“tomorrow night?” you asked. you stepped closer to him, a twist of fate he didn’t expect as he grabbed his wallet. it was that time of night, but it was you who moved forward on him.

“tomorrow night,” he said. you fought the urge to ask if it was the same woman. it wasn’t your place to ask. he looked at you, the way you were looking up at him, so fucking perfect and so fucking… he felt his pants tighten at his growing erection. fuck. he hated that you had him like this. such a fucking grip on his mind, his emotions. it was so frustrating, beyond frustrating. “that’s okay with you? short notice.”

“i wasn’t busy.”

“you’re never busy.” he smiled a little. “you know most girls your age go to the bar. flirt. drink.”

“i’m not legal drinking age,” you reminded him. fuck, that was too true. couldn’t be more fucking true. you were only twenty. “i’m well aware of what girls my age do. i find the time between, believe me.”

he chuckled, “yeah?”

“yes. i do all of those things you mentioned and more. i’m a riot. a party girl. you know this money pays for my coke addiction.”

he held the door for you, grinning, “glad to be of service. you know how obsessed little miss upstairs is with the snow queen from narnia.”

you laughed, hand on your stomach. he kept his smile smug. “that’s good!” you laughed, leaning against his car. he locked the door and walked down the few steps. he stepped close, your laugh faded away as he reached around you to open the door for you. you were trapped between him and his arm and the car. you blinked a few times and he smirked as he walked to his side of the car and got in.

you got in with him, buckling up. fuck. he was good. you almost recovered from the close contact, he put a cigarette between his teeth as he backed out of the driveway. you thought that was hot. “you smoke?” he asked, pulling onto the road, lighting his cigarette.

“no.”

“mmm, good girl.” he said, blowing smoke out the window. he grinned to himself. if you weren’t wet before, you were now. your breath caught in your throat and you felt your cheeks and ears burn. fuck. fuck. fuck. it was all you could think about. good girl, he knew exactly what you wanted to hear and it was a good thing it was exactly his vocabulary. if he gave in right now he’d pull over and fuck you to pieces and you know what, you’d take it. you almost veered the car off the road yourself.

your throat was dry. your brain was screaming to kiss him at every red light. fuck him here in his car in the middle of the road and get dragged away only by cops with tasers and guns and batons. your whole body was hot, white hot, burning.

he just smiled to himself as he drove. he didn’t mind the silence, it had a good reason. it had flustered you so badly, you couldn’t crack any witty little cheeky jokes. he said goodnight and watched your ass as you walked inside.

the desperate need to get off was so wild you almost called an ex. like you were drunk on some strong alcohol his words reverberated around your brain it called for bad decisions and a need to fuck SOMETHING. like you were a creature, you needed something, someone inside of you now. it couldn’t be him, he was gone.

no, he was too old, it wasn’t because he’d gone home to his perfect, lovely daughter because he was a grown man with a six year old daughter and he was technically your employer and fucking him would be wrong. but it would feel so good. you had to resort to your own hands, sliding down into your underwear on your couch in your apartment. fingers rubbing your clit vigorously. you breathed hard, thinking about him fucking you in his shitty car on top of all the papers and cigarette cartons. fucking you so hard your head hit the car door repeatedly. he could have. if he had done anything to you after saying those two words, you would have let him do anything he fucking wanted to you.

you slept like a baby, knocked out after several rounds, enough to dull the need to be fucked to a low hum. he messaged you. before you went, though.

3-8?

perfect.

you replied short and sweet before passing out.

the next day you were back at his. he was in the driveway, you were just a little late. it wasn’t a big deal. he said goodbye, very friendly, very normal. you went inside and did various crafts and activities with his daughter, letting the good girl thing slip your mind.

he was back by eight. eight on the dot. talking about his mom being in town. you didn’t inquire. you had to meet some friends for ‘drinks’ at her place. you said goodbye to his daughter, smiling and telling her you’d see her soon. patrick thanked you for making chicken, paid you extra plus bonus for the pizza ingredients the other day. he didn’t seem like he really had this kind of money to be giving you, but you took it.

in taking everything else, you said goodnight and headed over to your friends house. had a can or two of a pre-mixed margarita, talked about things with your friends. it wasn’t until the conversation turned to something you needed to show them a picture of when you realized you didn’t have your phone. you looked around everywhere- your phone was expensive, you didn’t have the money for a new one. you got up and looked around and then it hit you. your phone was probably at patrick’s.

you didn’t have his number memorized. “do you need it?” your friend asked. “can you get it tomorrow?”

“i guess i could, but that’s my uber home and all of my cards are in the back, i wouldn’t have bus fare, i wouldn’t have- fuck.”

“just go honey, we’re not going anywhere!” your other friend chimed in. “i literally only have enough for you to get one bus, but get a transfer to come back?” none of them could drive impaired. or would. you shut your eyes. you hated the idea of showing up unannounced. but you took that bus fare. and you got on a bus over to patrick’s. you walked down his street trying to rehearse what stupid thing you’d say about this. forgetting your phone- like an absolute idiot. you had no idea where it even was but you came straight from there to your friends so it could be three places and the bus was not an option you could seek out.

you walked up the front steps and quietly knocked. you tucked your hair behind your ears and folded your arms over your chest. the evening air was chilly for a tank top and a skirt. it was a moment before he answered the door, it was around midnight so you knew he’d be up. or you hoped. it was stupid to even have come, but the margs were hitting just enough to screw up your decision making.

he was surprised to see you at the door. opened the screen door. “hey,” you said. “i’m so sorry about this, i’m so sorry- i know it’s late-“

“yeah- are you okay?” he asked, looking to see how you got there.

“i’m fine, i just… i think i forgot my phone here.” you said. it wasn’t the smoothest delivery. your eyes wandered down his body, eyeing his true build, hidden underneath those other shirts. the one he was currently in was tight, a black t-shirt. and sweatpants. he was muscular but it was all soft, soft features. one of those dad bods that bad definition not to pass as a true dad bod, but one still. holy fuck, this was a terrible idea. he grinned, running a hand through his hair as he leaned against the doorframe. “it’s so stupid, i know.”

“happens,” he chuckled. “you want to come in and look for it?”

“could i? i would be so quick,”

“i’m not in any rush,” he replied. “c’mon.” he stepped out of your way, holding the door as you came into the house. most of the lights were off aside from the adjustable dim ones in the kitchen. he turned on the lamp in the corner. “she’s with her grandma at the hotel tonight.” patrick said, starting to look around. you looked over at him. “is your ringer on?”

“i have it off when i’m with her,” you replied. patrick smiled. it was sweet. “fuck, i really am so sorry about this mr. zweig, i-“

“how many times before you call me patrick?”

“hm?”

“patrick.” he restated. “i’m not calling you ‘miss y/l/n’.”

“very true, i’m sorry sir,” you said, leaning in a little as you passed him, looking up on the mantle of the fireplace.

“that’s worse,” he chuckled.

“i think you like it.”

oh, it kicked into existence. hard. that fire you’d felt before lit up in his body. you were so smug when you thought you could be. it was all witty and teasing and the need to fuck that teasing smile off your face was back. you were too young, he reminded himself, watching you bend to look under the couch cushions. fuck, why did you have to be so…

the margaritas maybe made you a little bold. not too much, you were still you. he checked the table, looking around more for your phone. “what does it look like?”

your laugh from the other room was so pretty. “red!” you called back. red phone… red phone… patrick was so glad to be separated from you by a wall. he was hard just thinking about you. having you here was dangerous, his daughter away, nobody could stop him from doing what he wanted but himself. his morals. you were twenty years old. barely fucking legal. he was almost 20 years older than you. but you followed him into the kitchen, pretty doe eyes and pouty lips and worried eyebrows and he could have fucked you on the table when you looked at him. “nothing? again, i’m so sorry for coming in like this.”

“it’s fine,” his words were a little more forced than natural. “bright red?”

“dark red,” you replied.

“flashy?” he meant if it had anything to make it stand out.

“no sir.” you put your hands on your hips and turned around, looking on top of the microwave, behind the stove. anything. you and that tiny skirt, what the fuck was he supposed to do with himself? twenty, in a little skirt on the tips of your toes looking in high up places. the skin of your waist showing as you stretched, finding nothing. “fuck, it’s really nowhere.” you turned to patrick again, pressing a hand to the side of your face. “tell me you hid it and this is funny and that i didn’t drop my phone with all my cards on the bus on the way to my friend’s. i’m begging you.”

he shook his head, grimacing a little. but you were standing just below him, close to him. you looked up at him, observing his expressions while thinking this all over. you’d been so stressed you forgot patrick was hot as fuck. and it almost took you by surprise to snap back to reality here, where he was looking at you like there was something he wanted from you. it was extremely flustering, you blinked it off and went back to the living room to check again. patrick went down the hall and checked the bathroom.

“found it,” he called from the bathroom. you were glad this was over, you needed to get out of this house before the idea of being home alone with him sunk in. him in his tight black undershirt… him in his sweatpants, you tried and tried to ignore the print. he handed you your phone and you slid it into your purse.

“thank you so much,” you nodded, eyes meeting his. his eyes were dark. “again, i’m so sorry to disturb you this late and without warning.”

“anytime,” he was so excited to have you get the fuck out of his house. he watched your hips move as you walked out of the bathroom and down the hall. “where are you off to now?”

“i’ve got to go meet my friends again. i’m probably going to get the bus back, i have a transfer.” you showed him the little white slip of paper, your back pressed to his wall by the door. you looked him over, trying not to think about his ‘sweetheart’ and the way his ‘good girl’ lingered in your brain. you felt that fire ignite in your lower stomach. you had to say goodbye. and fast.

“let me drive you?” he offered. he didn’t know why. he’d probably crash the car. something about the night, something about the way you looked in this lamp light, the idea of being alone.

“i’ll be okay,” you said, stepping just a little closer and it wasn’t even voluntary. “it’s a short trip. a few stops.”

“remember what i said about the obits?” he tsked. “i’d rather see you here at my house than in that section of the newspaper, thanks.”

“here at your house?” you smiled. “it’s either die or be here at your house, i love that.”

“what can i say? i like you here.” he shrugged. you tilted your head. he cleared his throat, “you’re good with her.”

“so you’ve said.” you nodded. “thank you.”

“no problem, sweetheart. and i’m driving you.”

“you’re not driving me,” you replied.

“but i am. c’mon.” he picked up his keys.

“mr zweig,” you reasoned, pressing your hand to his chest. your heart beat hard in your chest as his choice of words. “i’m fine.”

it was getting harder and harder to remember why fucking a twenty year old felt so wrong. he looked down at you, your hand on his chest. mr. zweig, like it was the worst thing on earth but the hottest fucking thing to come out of anyone’s mouth. he looked at you, his chest rising and falling like his restraint was an exercise, like it was a fight. it might have been the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. your magnetic force was pulling him in and soon he’d have to chain himself to something so he didn’t do anything that’d get him in trouble. you were too fucking young. too young. too young.

you stared back. and the moment felt like forever. you could make it back alone but you weren’t sure if you candle heading back to your friends when you felt like this. that ache was back, the one that felt like drugs, like alcohol, like gambling, like the edge of an addiction, knowing the hook, the high is right there. your restraint was prettier, just a reminder that he wouldn’t. you’d let him, but he wouldn’t. it was more cut and dry to believe it was a crush and as much as you wanted him, he wouldn’t. for his daughter, for the sake of the springs on his bed, you hoped. you let out a breath between perfectly parted lips, shrinking into it.

he couldn’t. he wouldn’t. the problem was that he would. he would. he wanted to. he needed to. the second you were gone he’d go feel disgusting about it as he fucked violently into his hand, crude imagery plastered on the inside of his eyelids and he’d go to bed guilty and vile and disturbed. but you were right here and you weren’t gone yet. it was the same feeling, knowing you’d probably take the bus home just to find peace with a showerhead or even the fucking doorman of your building. you’d take anything at this very moment. what patrick wouldn’t give to have some trashy woman in his bed right now. he could call one of his dates up to fuck- he would have given so much to have been with one of them right now. because looking at you, he couldn’t… you were too pretty to be fucked by him, he’d ruin you. you were too young for him. too young and too pretty and too perfect.

he wouldn’t. you were fantasizing just looking at him. your body in flames, burning in a pit of lava, absolutely rolling in hot coals. you needed to stop. you needed cold water. ice water. liquid nitrogen. cryogenic freezing.

“i think you should go,” patrick managed. his voice was cold but not cold enough to cool you down. but he was right. you should go. the idea you’d leave was the same as believing it was all over and a guard was let down. you had the same feeling, moving just slightly to put your shoes back on, but only getting so far as an inch.

it was spontaneous and it was harsh, but it was insanely mutual, the way you kissed. you’d believed you’d get peace and that you could leave, no, wrong move. very wrong move. he kissed you with a force that pinned you to the wall, lust masking the impact of your head against the wall. hungry, starved, violent, he kissed you, hands on your waist, gripping hard as they moved down to your ass, squeezing, grabbing. fast, messy, sinful, his hands under your ass, he lifted you up against the wall.

it would have taken more than the jaws of life to pull the two of you apart. it was fast paced, like the both of you were in some sort of vicious caged battle, your arms around his neck, fingers curled right into his hair. you’d never been kissed or touched like this before. you were moaning from just the kiss and he swore the god he’d never been harder in his life. neither of you could wait, there was no time to just kiss, you weren’t teenagers, you weren’t patient or naive or curious, you were demanding, grabbing at each other like a lifeline.

he stepped off the wall, carrying you the best he could, too distracted to actually know which way his room was. he could have you on the couch, he was impatient, so were you. he let your feet down, your hands desperately clutching his shirt, pulling him down the hall as you kissed nonstop, breaking only for small breaths and for your shirts being stripped as you walked backward. his big hands cupped your face, pressing you against both sides of the hallway while your hands fumbled with the drawstring of his sweats. there was no time for any of this.

it was animalistic. it was the basic need, it was desperate. you crashed into his closed door and patrick swore to god he’d destroy anything in the way of him fucking you right now. he would have either kicked his door in or fucked you against it, no problem, but you reached behind you and opened his door so he didn’t have to do either of those things. he was blinded by lust, your hand down the front of his boxers within seconds of being in his room. you crashed backward onto his bed, crawling over him in your skirt, your hand stroking him up and down, but he had no need for it.

in seconds you were flipped onto your back and you were working together to kick your skirt and underwear off, gone to the same abyss his pants and boxers went. you were too young, patrick reminded himself as your bra came off. too young for him, too young, to pretty, too perfect to be fucked so hard by him. but he had you and there was no stopping him. it was a mistake, it was wrong, but there was nothing in his way as your hand slid down over his chest, following the trail of hair. he kissed your neck enough to make you cry out as his teeth followed his lips, leaving what would be nasty marks by morning.

your legs open, ready for him, he didn’t waste a single fucking second more, grabbing your hips and fucking into you. you swore to god you felt stars with how hard his first thrust was. he filled you to the brim, you weren’t sure you had any more space of all of him inside of you. you felt him stretch you out from the inside and you had no time to adjust to just how huge he was as he was instantly pounding into you. “good girl, taking all of it so perfectly,” he groaned. your nails were already in his back, desperately grabbing for something. your moans were loud and fucking pornographic. he wouldn’t have thought something like that could come from your pretty mouth. he wasn’t very considerate for your young, tight pussy as he thrusted into it with a violence only seen in the most gruesome of acts. he’d wanted to fuck women before, but he’d never needed to fuck someone so badly in his entire life. and it showed with the sheer force of which he fucked you. “you feel so fucking good.” he assured you with a decency that was not genuine whatsoever. it came from a place that disgusted even himself. you were only twenty…

“oh my god!” you exclaimed. you were sure he was actively bruising your cervix. it hurt so fucking badly but it felt too good for you to care. you saw stars, they spun and danced as your pleasure took over your entire body, legs wrapped around him, shaking already from the impact. skin on skin, loud as you both were, groaning, moaning, dirty little strings of words slipping from his mouth as he fucked you. “fuck me, fuck me- fuck!” you couldn’t help the noises you made, pathetic, reduced to just a moaning mess and a puddle of a girl who had only thought this was a violent crush.

“so wet for me, you wanted this so fucking bad, hm?” he taunted, evil grin on his face.

“uh-huh,” you sighed, hardly able to say the words. “s-so-“ you knew you had something to say but it was gone, erased repeatedly with every thrust into you. you’d have a witty response if it wasn’t for how good and all-consuming this was. “god-“

he fucked you with all of his pent up frustration, his hand sliding up the soft skin of your neck, pressing just gently, but enough. you were moaning loudly, the headboard hit the wall hard, and that hand on your neck moved to shove his fingers in your mouth. it was enough to make you into something even less, taking them in your mouth like you should. “so good for me, so pretty- fuck-“ he groaned, strong thrusts not faltering for a second. “this what you wanted?”

“m-mhm,” you said, pretty lips closed around his fingers, struggling to feel so much at once.

“so fucking perfect, guys your age fuck you this good?”

“god- fuck- no,” you moaned. he took his fingers away. he lifted your leg up, fucking into you with a new angle that spread goosebumps all down your skin. you were being fucked dumb- you were sure that you were forgetting your own name actively. losing yourself in this. patrick had never fucked anyone so hard in his life, feeling himself reach the furthest point inside of you over and over and over. “patrick-“

his name moaned from you gave him new momentum and you couldn’t help the constant warm rushes that ran over your body like pulses, like waves on a shore. your body was a solar system of exploding stars. the hands that travelled your body were sure to leave bruises on you by later… harsh and strong and not letting go, fingers in your flesh. it was only fair, your nails dug into his back, he was probably bleeding. “gonna come for me, sweetheart?” he said, grinning over his own groans. if he’d been anyone else the question would have been stupid, sex is never that good, but this was. no clitoral stimulation needed he was hitting every right spot in the right way. you felt it like a knot coming undone, like all the stars that were exploding were both imploding and exploding rapidly, like a blinking threat for the collapse of a universe. dramatic, an imperfect display and an unfair comparison but so fucking needed. you nodded hard, mouth open, breathing hard, kissing him when you could. it was messy, uncalculated, but so fucking perfect.

out of desperation, you lifted your hips the best you could to meet his harsh thrusts. needing to finish, needing this more than you’ve ever needed anything. you couldn’t help the grin that spread up your face, even in the heat of things. you won. he caved, you won. and he couldn’t fuck this smile off your face. you only held it as long as you cut put off finishing, the friction, the feeling building up to crash around you. it was full-body, felt entirely. your nails dug into him harder and he waited just another moment to spill into you. you felt it hot between your legs as he continued to pump in and out of you, so much cum that it seeped out before he could pull out. he didn’t think about anything but you, how wrapped up he was in this, how fucked he was. he’d lost to a pretty twenty year old. as if this was some sick game. you’d both gotten what you wanted, but the cost was greater.

it was the hardest orgasm you both had ever felt, both of your ears ringing, breathing heavily, feeling all of it. to the greatest extent possible. he pulled out and collapsed beside you, his back stinging as it hit the bed. your smile returned as you tried to catch your breath, the stars dancing out of sight slowly. “oh, i’m fucked,” patrick breathed, hand falling onto his chest.

you laughed breathily, “other way around.”

he chuckled over his harsh breathing, chest rising and falling deeply. he rubbed his face, but it couldn’t erase the fact he had sex with a controversially young woman. what was worse? the fact he had needed to fuck her so badly or the fact he didn’t feel any better about it afterward? or the surprise third thing that was the urge to keep you close?

“okay, listen-“ he said, propping himself up on his elbow turning your way, but you grabbed him by the jaw and pulled him into another kiss. a second kiss, with a different meaning than the first one. it was still hard to breathe but he didn’t mind, grin spreading up his face, a little sly, dimple showing. he felt a little less ashamed with this kiss in the way. it was different. oh he was soooo much more than fucked now.

taglist: @kaaaiiaaa @swetearss @xoxog0ssipg1rl @lalalandofive

[ashwhowrites]

Older Eddie finding out you’re pregnant and has hard emotions over it. He’s excited but nervous because of his age and reader overhears him saying he doesn’t know if he can be a dad and you choose the ending

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Baby talk

Eddie had his dream of having a wife and kids, but it fizzled out the older he got. It never seemed to be in his cards and he found himself okay with that. He didn't feel like he was missing out on anything. He enjoyed his life the way it was.

He had been together with Y/N for about two years. He loved that she wasn't in a rush to be married. She was young and had many years before she felt like her time was cutting short.

Y/N knew Eddie didn't have a plan in mind for having kids, and it wasn't something they talked about too much. She knew at his age, that kids were the last thing on his mind. She'd be lucky to even get a ring on her finger.

As she looked at the five pregnancy tests on the bathroom counter, she feared to tell Eddie the news.

"BABE?"

She jumped into action as she heard his voice. Scrambling to throw the tests into the trash can. She washed off her hands by the time he made it into the doorway.

"Just using the bathroom, what's up?" She asked, a fake smile plastered on her face

"Home from work and was thinking about ordering pizza?"

"Sounds good,"

Eddie nodded and walked out of the room to call the pizza place. YN looked at herself in the mirror and wondered what the hell she was going to do.

~~~

It had been almost two months and she hadn't said a word. She dumped out the trash and tried to forget it.

But now she was sick every morning, and her emotions were all out of whack

She knew she needed to say something before she began to show. She was scared and she hated that it was her own secret. She had all this on her shoulders and needed to share the weight.

"You okay? You barely ate your dinner," Eddie said, he sat across her at the restaurant. Couples talking all around them but they sat in silence. He watched her as she slowly picked at her food. He knew something was going on. She always looked tired, he'd hear her cry all throughout the day and he spent every morning holding her hair back.

"Would you ever want kids?" She asked, finally looking up

Eddie coughed as he was caught off guard

"Um, I don't know. I guess if I'm being honest, I would live perfectly fine without them." He shrugged, "But if it was something you wanted, I'd make it work."

"Make it work?" Y/N scoffed, "What just suffer and stick around because you got trapped?"

Eddie blinked at her aggression

"I didn't say that" Eddie deflected, "I just think if it happened, it would take me a while to be good with that. I never saw myself as a dad and it would be a lot to learn."

"Would you be happy?" she asked, her stomach began to turn and she felt vomit in the back of her throat

"I don't know,"

"Well, figure it out within these next seven months." She said she watched as his eyes shot open and he looked down at her body and back up again

"You're pregnant?" He choked out

She bit her lip nervously as she nodded

"Dammit" Eddie whispered to himself as he sighed

"Dammit?" She snapped, "That is all you have to say!" She stood up and slammed down her napkin.

Eddie watched as she marched out of the restaurant. He quickly threw as much cash as he had on the table and followed after her.

~

The car ride was silent. Every word that left Eddie's lips was ignored. She had her arms crossed as hot anger tears rolled down her face.

Eddie pulled into his driveway and she was fast to get out of the car.

"Baby, can we please talk?" He asked once they made it through the front door

"Sleep on the couch, asshole." She spat as she yanked off her heels and walked down the hallway.

~

Y/N wasn't sure how long she stared at the wall in silence but she knew it had been a while

She closed her eyes when she heard the bedroom door open.

Eddie slowly lifted up the sheets and crawled into the bed

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you" he whispered, he wrapped his arms around her body and pressed her into his chest. "I was caught off guard and surprised. I thought we were always safe."

"Not safe enough," she snapped. She wanted to stay mad but his arms and lips kissing up and down her neck made her melt

"I'm going to be right here the whole time. You're not alone. We will do this together."

She rolled over, tears in her eyes as she tried to find his eyes in the dark

"Good because I am really scared," she cried

"It'll be okay." He soothed, leaned in, and pecked her lips

~~~

"Here is your beer, love," Y/N said as she placed the beer on the small table

It had been a crazy few months. She was now eight months and they were preparing for their baby to arrive.

"Thank you," he said as he pecked her cheek. Then turned his attention back to painting the wall

"I think this color looks great," Y/N smiled as she rubbed her bump. The light blue brightened up the nursery in the perfect way.

"I agree. The crib and changing table will be delivered tomorrow so Wayne will be over to help out. You just stay in bed and relax." Eddie said as he set down his paintbrush and grabbed his beer.

~

Y/N sat in her bed as she watched TV. Wayne and Eddie were down a few doors putting together the last few touches of the nursery.

She sighed as she grew restless, she needed to move. She climbed out of bed as fast as she could. Then walked out to the kitchen, she figured she could make lunch for the boys.

She finished the sandwiches and grabbed some beers. With her hands full, she walked to the room. But she stopped when she heard the two in a heated discussion.

"You are not walking out on her or that baby, Eddie," Wayne's voice was aggressive and stern. Y/N felt her heart drop at the thought.

"I didn't say that! I'm just fucking terrified. I'm too old to be starting over in my life. A newborn? That is a ton of work, and even more for someone who is as old as me." Eddie sighed

"I don't give a shit what age you are. Teenager, her age, or your age, doesn't matter, you are having a baby. I'm sure she's scared. And I'm sure she has been scared since she found out. She needs someone to count on, and you need to be that person. Having a kid will always be scary."

"I know! But what about when he starts school? I'm going to drop him off and be older than every dad there. I'll be a grandpa age by the time he gets into college. I don't know if I can be a dad."

"Edward quit making this about you! Who cares if you are older than the other dads. You've got an advantage. You've been working for years, probably a better income than they have. You have benefits that you can support her and your child with. You already made a fuss when she told you, don't make another scene." Wayne lectured

Eddie sat in silence and Y/N took the cue to walk in

"Lunch is served" she announced as she walked in. Acting like she didn't hear a single word.

"Thank you, dear," Wayne said as he pecked her head

"You didn't have to, you are supposed to be in bed," Eddie said as he pecked her cheek.

"I needed to move my legs," Y/N shrugged, "can I talk to you for a second?"

Eddie nodded and followed her into their bedroom

"Everything okay?" he asked as he softly touched her stomach

"Do you want to be a dad or not? Because it seemed like we figured it out and we were on the right track. And if you don't want him, you don't get me. I want this and I want us to be a family. But if you don't want that, be a man and tell me so I can figure out what I'm going to do for my child." She ranted, her arms crossed as she panted. She tried to keep her tears back.

Eddie sighed and sat on the bed. He grabbed her hand and moved her to stand between his legs. He released her hand to place both on her stomach and looked up at her

"He's our child. I am not walking away from you or him, and I never will. I know I'm all over the place, but I do want this. I'm worried about my age and how that might affect me being a good dad. I just don't want to let him down and I don't want you to regret having this magical moment with me and not someone who has a better grip on things." Eddie said

"Oh Eddie," she sighed then placed her hands on his cheeks. "You won't let him down. All you have to do is love and support him, which I know you can do. I don't want anyone else. I want this baby with you. I know you can do this. I believe in you." She leaned down and pecked his lips.

"I love you," he said against her lips

"I love you too"

And she was right. The second their baby was born, Eddie became the best dad she had ever seen. He adored Gavin, and Gavin was glued to his dad's hip. They were best friends and Y/N couldn't have been happier.

Eddie's fear never went away, but he treasured every moment he had with his family. He became a dad and he conquered it. Next, he was ready to conquer being a husband.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlx @ineedmentalhelp123

[reigningqueenofwords]

Pinky Promise

Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: 1,409

Read on AO3

“I have to go to my aunt’s wedding this weekend. So I won’t be able to play with you alllll weekend. I’m gonna be so bored.” You sighed, lying on the floor of the tree house your father built you a couple years prior. At 10, it was still your favorite place in the world. 

Dean made a face. “That sucks!” He was your best friend in the whole world, and you spent every weekend playing together. “What am I supposed to do? Play with Sammy?” 

You giggled at that. “Guess so.” You smiled at him. “What’re we gonna do when we grow up and get married?” You pouted. “We won’t be able to play every weekend together.” 

“Well, I just won’t get married if I can’t play with you.” He said easily. 

Sitting up, you had the look on your face that told him you had an idea. “What if we make a pinky swear?” You started. “If when we’re 25, we’re not married to other people… we get married.” Why wouldn’t you want to marry your best friend? 

He thought for a minute and held up his pinky. “Alright.” He grinned when you looped your pinky finger with his. 

It had been almost 15 years since that day. You hadn’t thought of that day in ages. Dean was still your best friend, too. That never changed, and neither of you let anyone get between the pair of you. Sure, there had been girls over the years that tried to get between you, but he swiftly dumped them. Chewing on your lip, you pulled up a text to Dean. Do you remember the pinky promise we made when we were 10? You sent. You and Dean shared a birthday, meaning both of you would be turning 25 in just over a month. 

After a few minutes, he replied. Sure do! 😉 He sent, making you chuckle and roll your eyes. Why, what’s up? Meet someone and need to back out? 

Your eyebrows shot up at that. Actually, I was just asking if you remembered. I mean, our birthdays are in a month. Don’t you think you should start looking at rings, mr? 😛 You sent, sitting up and looking around your room. It was December 20th, and you’d be driving home to your parents in a few days. You’d see Dean then, too. His parents lived a block over from yours. 

Who says I haven’t been doing that already? Hmmmm? He countered. 

You highly doubted that was the case. Are you trying to tell me that you, Dean Winchester, man who has never dated anyone for more than a year…has been looking at engagement rings and actually plans to make good on this 15 year old pinky promise? Getting up, you made your way to your kitchen. It was almost dinner time, but you didn’t know if you were actually hungry. Your mind was on overdrive. As you got older, you felt Dean would laugh off your pinky promise. He’d say you were just a couple of dumb kids. 

I take pinky promises extremely seriously. Especially ones with my best friend. He sent, making you smile softly at that. 

Please just don’t propose at Christmas in front of everyone lol That’s too much attention for my liking. You knew he’d understand. Small bits of attention were fine, but you liked blending into the background. He was the more outgoing of the two of you. 

I promise 😀 He assured you. What day are you getting here, anyway? 

The idea of dinner forgotten, you leaned against the counter. On the 23rd. You?  

You watched the little bubbles pop up on your phone, hoping he would get there early, too. Guess I’m getting there on the 23rd, too. Meet me in the tree house? I’ll bring the beer, you bring the pizza? 

Grinning, you giggled. Deal. Meet me there at about 4? 

It’s a date! 

The afternoon of the 23rd, you stepped into your parents house. “Dad!” You called out, dropping your bags. It was 2pm, so you had two hours before Dean showed up. 

“There’s my girl!” He grinned, pulling you into a hug. “How was your drive?”

“Good.” You told him. “We want to hang out in the tree house, but it’s cold. Help me hang up some blankets or something so we won’t freeze?” You asked, keeping your arms around him. 

He chuckled. “I did that yesterday. Dean called and tried to offer to pay for anything I need to make it a bit warmer out there. You could sleep out there. I made it so warm.” He said proudly. 

“Oh wow!” You chuckled. “Thank you! Where’s mom?” Although you’d seen them for Thanksgiving, you missed them a lot. 

“Getting ready for our date. I’m taking her out while you and Dean act like kids in the tree house again.” He kissed the top of your head. 

You laughed, looking forward to this time with your parents, and your best friend. As far as you knew, no one but the pair of you knew of your pact. You never mentioned it to your parents, or other friends. Dean never told you he’d told anyone, and he wasn’t one to be very open with many people. However, you also knew all parents involved would be excited. Your parents loved Dean, and his parents loved you. 

Dean hadn’t been lying. He had been looking at rings for you. He’d snuck into your childhood bedroom and borrowed a ring from your jewelry box when he was there for Thanksgiving. This way, he knew what size ring to get. He didn’t want to risk getting the wrong size. 

What you didn’t know was that part of the reason he never dated anyone for too long was because he kept this pact in mind. It had always been you. He crossed his fingers that you’d both reach 25, unmarried, and not in a serious relationship. 

He pulled into your parent’s driveway, grabbing the beer from the passenger’s seat. Part of him felt like he was coming home every time he got there. Smiling to himself, he made his way to the backyard. He could see some light from inside the tree house, and got excited. You were already in there. “Honey! I’m home!” He called, making his way up. It was a bit awkward with the bag with beer, but he managed. 

“Dean!” You beamed when you saw him. As soon as he was completely in the tree house, you all but tackled him. “I’ve missed you.” You pouted as you pulled away. 

He chuckled. “Well, here I am.” He swallowed. “I have something for you.” 

“Dean, Christmas is in two days. You can’t wait two days to give me my Christmas present?” You teased. 

“This isn’t your Christmas present. That’s in my trunk.” He told you, pulling out the small ring box. “I know we were just a couple silly kids when we made that pinky promise, but you’ve remained my best friend for all these years. You know just what to say on the days where everything has gone wrong. There’s no one else I could ever picture myself being with for the rest of my life. Will you make good on that pinky promise and marry me?” 

Your eyes were wide, and you felt a tear fall down your cheek. “Yes!” You grinned, watching him slip on the ring. “How long have you been planning this?” You giggled. 

“I borrowed an old ring of yours at Thanksgiving.” He admitted. “It’s on my nightstand. Kinda didn’t wanna give it back yet. And we spent a lot of time in this tree house, where else would I propose to you?” 

You couldn’t stop smiling. “Guess we should talk about moving closer together, huh? Or moving in together?”

“Actually…” 

Furrowing your brows, you weren’t sure what he was going to say. “What?” 

He looked proud. “I put a down payment on a house. Just a couple streets over.” He told you. “Your dad already has plans to buy a treehouse in that backyard.” 

“My dad knew about all this?” 

Dean shook his head. “He knows I’m buying that house, and that I’d like a treehouse like this one, but I didn’t tell him I was proposing.” While he knew your dad would approve, your dad might have let something slip. “So, looks like we have a wedding to plan, sweetheart.” 

“Damn right we do!” 

[girldriveroscar]

CRACKS KNUCKLES heres some parasocial nonsense. pls dont take too serious im just being silly.

insp by @inchidentally the 814 essay GOAT… Hi.

Okyeah analyzing this video and recent posts.

So Like. oscar piastri being the normalTm guy whos still w his hs sweetheart, wears graphic tees and beat up af1s and still vacations w the guys he grew up w, who was actually kinda socialized (as well as any other well-off posh kid who’s parents could afford the luxury of fucking them off to boarding school i digress).. but like, he played pranks w the Lads and got congratulatory slaps on the back, his first crushes wer probs navigated in small talk during class and walking together in the halls? generally just a guy who balanced his social life and Career to Some relatively healthy degree so it’s not like Completely foreign to him how to talk to girls and make friends. and so he gets that building an intimate relationship w someone is mostly just hanging out, experiencing new food tgthr, new movies, walking around a new city, he just gives such a NORMAL GUY answer of a perfect date, and i think part of being socialized the way he was gave him the understanding that grandiose gestures of love kinda just come off as disingenuous. oscar jus reads as a guy whos never resorted to showboating bc his introduction to romance was just like anyone else, awkward shuffling and bonding on the weekends over pizza and homework. and even as a formula 1 RACE WINNER GUY W MONEY hiiiiii, he still has such a cute simple recipe for a perf date bc hes been through it. he knows how to court someone bc it worked and its been working!!!

then on the flip u have THE peacock tm, shirt unbuttoned so low might as well forgo it atp, lando norris whos perfect date idea is hi, (wtf.) YACHT. and sex (exhibitionist freak. sorry who said that…) like boyyyy oh my god shakes him by the shoulders u are so not normal. lando norris, who’s always ben a little comfier than his peers growing up. always out of place bc his dads pockets were Open and Ready to ensure he never had to worry about pinching pennies in a spar for some chips after class Yeah and he doesnt even know it bc thats NEVER been his life? yeaaa and add in a dash of Always being on the race track, never rly socializing w. girls or boys who weren’t in direct competition w him, turning 19 and immediately being sized up to his older hyper-masculine charming And sexy teammate. (getting carried away mb)

lando himself explaining that having to grow up so fast and be a good boy (His words.) prevented him from finding his footing in social settings and only now being able to experience these things at 23/24?!

i digress now also factor in his (alleged…) favorite movie is a silly romcom?! (also maybe just peacocking tho bc “girls love a guy w a soft side” and lando wld know bc he watched one movie about it…. like srsly u want me to believe the hangover and stepbrothers belong in the same category as Romcom u dont rmbr the name of okk weirdo)

so yea of course a boy who’s never passed notes to his crush in class, never asked anyone to a dance, never pulled pranks w his schoolmates, Understands intimacy thru cheesy romcoms an weekends emptying his dads wallet on flights to wtv racing event. LIKE OF COURSE he thinks romance is wtv he can mimic from A. how his dad showed him love (…$$..) and B. what the movies r saying ! (thats socially repressed twin.) AND THE GAG OF IT ALL!!!! is he puts on this front, so suave so playboy, “i have sex and let me announce about it publicly in case u doubted it” when the reality of it is like? dude u are thirst-liking instagram models while oscar is Getting it every night ur such a loser omfg.

just Like. Ugh the contrast of oscar whos so secure in himself in his dad shorts and ANKLE socks and lando who just grew out of his awkwardness in his early 20s and now Needs to slut himself out to make up for lost time.

(AND. the double gag is landos still so obviously not secure abt the fact he Doesnt Really Know what hes doing that every one can see it ouhmygodd lando x chernobyl levels of imposter syndrome u are so complicated and angsty U TEENAGE GIRL. holds a can of diet coke to his lips. there there girl. there there.)

[oofthwoods]

'23 grid ── ˙ ̟ the echo !!

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 :: an overview of fem!driver relationship with a few drivers on the grid. just a bunch of cute headcanons that i can't get out of my head. i only added the ones i feel she would be closest with, but feel free to ask me about any other driver!

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 :: recommend reading the introduction for the backstory.

˒ ⌕ — MICK SCHUMACHER ( 47 )

more than mere teammates, mick and her have been glued to the hip ever since they met. with both of their parents being ex-formula one drivers for the same team, it was clear from the very start that they would see each other very often. as kids, wondering around the paddock, as teens, supporting each other on the track and now, as young adults, competing against each other on porsche and f1.

while mick is a sweet, introverted guy who tends to think about every word that leaves his miuth, she is the complete opposite — loud, bashful and someone who should have a bigger filter between your brain and mouth. is the epitome of orange cat × golden retriever, and fans eat it up.

while mick sometimes can calm her, it's more likely that she brings him into her shenanigans.

˒ ⌕ — MAX VERSTAPPEN ( 33 )

her and max couldn't have a more different upbringing. while he was roughly shaped into a champion by his father, she had been carefully brought into the motorsport world by yours.

they've met during her years as a red bull junior, and what started with max being a bit annoyed by her non-stop talking quickly turned into an honest friendship, where they both can say whatever they want.

it leads to max saying the most unhinged things and her being the only one who jokes along instead of feeling concerned.

˒ ⌕ — LEWIS HAMILTON ( 44 )

probably one of the cutest driver pairings in the grid. fans love to dig out old picture from the two and compare to it now.

lewis has always had a soft spot for her, ever since she was a kid roaming around in the paddock. he would show her his car, explaining all the things to her and claiming that his team was better than whatever team her dad was on.

once she came back to the paddock, now as a driver, he took one look at her and immediately took her under his wing. they both are, in their own ways, alone within the rest of the grid and he wouldn't let the media, or anyone for what matters, dim her light.

on the daily, he is always checking up on her, not in a overbearing fatherly way, but more as an older brother figure.

during her first months he managed to convince the media outlets to pair them both together for every interview, and he was always quick to shut down any stupid question sent her way.

if she annoys him for long enough, she manages to make him agree to coordinate his outfits with her.

˒ ⌕ — FERNANDO ALONSO ( 14 )

similar to lewis, she met alonso when she was very young. although he had a bad reputation during that time, she always loved to hang out with him, because she loved how cool he looked every time he won a race.

it took him some time to warm up to her, as he was never that great with kids when he was younger, but when she gifted him a drawing she had made of him winning a race, he was done for. yes, he was still seen as some sort of villain, but everyone agreed that he looked more human when she was on him arms.

he would grab her from her father's garage (with his permission, of course) and would take her to his, always waiting with her favorite flavor of pizza. it became a tradition for the both of them to eat it before a race, being his or hers.

whenever he could, he would watch her races from her garage, proudly wearing team merchandise with her name on it. when she won her f2 championship, he made sure to stand closely to the podium, and he would deny it, but he cried a bit when she raised her trophy.

such a cute duo because he tries to keep up with the things she likes, but still doesn't fully understand everything, so one day he would randomly say that her outfits is slaying and would leave with a polite smile while she stands there, confused, wondering where the hell did he learn that.

still tries to continue their pizza traditions <3

˒ ⌕ — LANDO NORRIS ( 04 )

they both barely knew each other before her debut in f1, but somehow clicked instantly. it might be because of their self depreciated tendencies, or their constant sarcasm. who knows? the only thing that matters is that when a reporter asks a stupid question, they can communicate with a single glance.

lando tries to get her intro photography but gives up once she couldn't fully understand how to correctly operate a camera. claims that she is a pretty good model to make up for it <3

somehow they know everything about everyone. it's a mix of lando knowing the drivers very well, and her knowing a lot of the mechanics of different teams. whenever something happens in the paddock, they both definitely know.

˒ ⌕ — GEORGE RUSSELL ( 63 )

met simply because she thought his pose was so funny that she had to ask him if he thought about it previously or decided to just wing it during filming. he was slightly confused that she seemed so friendly after they had just net, but quickly understood that was simply how she acted.

the most meme worthy duo. with his perfect timed actions and her dynamic facial expressions, their faces are always seen together plastered on twitter.

the butt of most of her jokes. she constantly sends him tiktoks and he claims that he is tired of it, but always sees each one and gives a little commentary.

if lewis is her caring older brother, george is her annoying one.

˒ ⌕ — OSCAR PIASTRI ( 81 )

the two of them have a long running joke because they don't know when they met. they've never competed against each other, as he was always one year above in the series, and never raced for the same team, but somehow, they feel like you've always been friends.

(they once actually sat down to try and trace back to their first meeting, but only got as far as to a gala in 2020, but they both remember already being friends during that.)

people thought they would never see them interact because of their distinct personalities and were very surprised when she pulled him into a hug after their race in bahrain.

always bantering and joking, oscar likes that she understand his sense of humor and don't take it too seriously.

˒ ⌕ — ALEX ALBON ( 23 )

met solely because she felt the need to tell him how pretty his girlfriend was. he was very confused but appreciated the compliment (even though it wasn't dedicated to him).

after that he kept getting drawn by her straight to the point comments, always failing to conceal his laughter after she says something, either during debriefing or interviews.

she pretty much became his and lily's daughter. they take her out to eat after races, lily tries to teach her how to golf and alex convinces her to die her hair if she scores at least 10 ponths.

[hailtothepumpkinqueen]

Headcanons for the Shane Stardew Valley that lives in my Switch because I wanted to put them down somewhere lol 💙🐔

•He's 35 years old. When Farmer tells him that's not old he replies "Old for a gridball player" and shrugs. (basing this on mid-30's apparently being old for a lot of sports lol)

•Definitely not as "weak" as he thinks he is either. The man helps Marnie around the farm, including hucking around heavy bags of animal feed and hay. And probably hauling heavy boxes around JojaMart. So great upper body strength, just gets tired and out of breath more easily than he used to.

•Strong arms and soft tummy 👍

•5'7" but wishes he was at least 6'1". A little insecure about it, especially since Farmer is taller than him.(she's 5'10")

•Favorite color is blue 💙

•His last name is Cooper. (Purely because I find it funny for him to have "coop" in his name. Like chicken coop lmao)

•Ears are pierced. I imagine 10mm gauges and two other piercings. Doesn't wear them super often, but enough so the holes don't close up.

•I think he'd be a Taurus. Stubborn but also down to earth.

•Started showing signs of depression as a teenager, but got dismissed as being "moody" and "lazy".

•Both parents had issues with alcohol and were distant/absent. His dad physically distant, as he was gone a lot and often came home drunk. His mom emotionally distant due to untreated depression.

•Leaving Shane to care for himself a majority of the time. So lots of microwaved pizza rolls and frozen dinners.

•Started drinking before the legal age because there was always alcohol in the house.

•Has not spoken to either parent since he moved out.

•Gridball was initially a good distraction for all the shit going on in his life and a way to get out of the house. Discovered he had a genuine love for the game and was really good at it. Good enough to play for the varsity team in college.

•Definitely a bit of a hot shot in college. Pretty popular for his goofy and easygoing personality and had a lot of friends(including Jas's parents). A few flings and serious relationships too.

•Ended up tearing his ACL, which put an end to his dream of going pro with his gridball career.

•Which exacerbated his depression and worsened his dependency on alcohol as a coping mechanism...which lead to a pretty bad breakup with his partner at the time. (This literally came to me in a dream lol)

•Light sleeper, particularly sensitive to noise. On top of having trouble sleeping a lot of nights because his brain won't shut off. Hence why he'll have a beer or two before bed, it helps him sleep.

•When that doesn't work he goes on walks. Nighttime is a preferable time to walk anyway because less chance to run into someone and have to make annoying small talk.

•Has dark circles under his eyes pretty much all the time due to lack of good sleep.

•Runs hot, basically a walking space heater. Which is great in the winter but MISERABLE in the summer.

•Was the best man at Jas's parents' wedding.

•And one of the first people to hold Jas after she was born. He was afraid he'd drop her or something and in awe of how tiny she was.

•Loves that little girl SO much, but when her parents died...he was in no position to be taking care of her. Not with his worsening depression and even worse alcohol dependency. So he signed over custody of her to Marnie, who was more of a mother figure to him than his own mom ever was(In my head, Marnie is Shane's mom's older sister).

•Used to spend summers on Marnie's farm as a kid. It was a nice break from his home life and gave him things to do.

•Was living with Marnie and Jas for about 6 months when Farmer moved to Pelican Town.

•It was his idea to pay rent, because he'd rather eat his shoe than feel like more of a burden than he already does.

•Listens to predominantly rock, but secretly knows the words to a lot of pop songs thanks to Jas.

•Lets Jas paint his nails or put makeup on him. Will wear the nail polish until it flakes off, no matter the color or glitter content.

•Has an armband tattoo of fairy roses around his bicep. For Jas, obviously.

•Definitely friends with Emily (they swap bird facts and just vibe) and and considers Sam a work friend(absolutely talk shit about Morris when not talking about music). He just seems to attract bright, friendly people lol

•Not a people pleaser by any stretch of the imagination (there's a reason he stocks shelves instead of being behind the counter at JojaMart), but loves making the people he cares about happy.

•Him being standoffish and prickly is definitely a defense mechanism. Can't get hurt again by losing someone if you never get close to them in the first place, right?

•Can tell when it's gonna rain because his bad knee starts hurting. When Emily teasingly calls him clairvoyant, he goes into a spiel about the scientific evidence that the drop in barometric pressure affects joints and it's not magic. It's basically an inside joke between them.

•Swears like a sailor but tries to censor himself around the children. So "sugar" and "fudge" and "son of a biscuit". Lot of food words lol

•Walks quietly. Accidentally scares people all the time because he just "appears out of nowhere".

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

you are keeping us well fed with the disabled!reader poolverine storyline tysm <3

The older boys, once fed and walked settled in with their devices. Content to play games with Wade and annoy you. The younger, Logan noted, velcroed himself to your side. Wanting to be held, wanting to be snuggled. And you were more than happy to do it.

He didn't want to rough house. When the livingroom devolved into a baby cage match, he brought you a book. Clamoring into your lap. And the two men traded a look.

You gathered him up, kissing the side of his head and just started reading. No questions or protests. And even the Older boys, drawn in by their own memories of story time made their way over with pillows to sprawl on. Settling in with their phones.

They felt a pang. You wouldn't get your own babies to cuddle, but it was pretty clear that the kids that you did get to love knew you were safe in your house. Making themselves at home. All day, they hadn't hesitated to get a snack or tease you. They never flinched at what Wade looked like or Logan's brooding. They knew your world was different even if they didn't know how exactly.

When Ronnie, the youngest dozed off you held him for a little bit before wiggling out and letting him lay on the couch and throwing a blanket over him. "Looks like I should start figuring out dinner, huh?"

"Pizza?" Zach, the oldest put in.

"You got, pizza money, homie?" you ask, leaning on the back of his chair, "Because I got 'works for the state' money and that will not order pizza for you three heathens."

"Aww man-"

"I do have mac and cheese stuff and some smoked susage and green beans, though," you muse.

"But is there extra cheese?" Zach asked.

"Do I look like your mother?"

He grinned and you ruffled his hair, heading to the kitchen to go start cooking and he followed you. Logan listened with half an ear, he knew a kid looking for a pep talk when he saw one.

And when he leaned against your shoulder and you rested your head on his for a second, Logan smiled a little. evidently you did too. "What's wrong, bug?"

"Nothing-"

"Uh-huh."

Zach huffed and you just waited, filling a pot with water and bustling around. "I just- mom's got me signed up for so much shit- and like, why?"

"Mostly because your grandma did it to us," you muse. "And also because she doesn't want you to turn out like us- mostly me."

Zach gave you a look and you smile a little. "I spent an absurd amount of time trying to be someone I wasn't baby. I just... Don't care about cars and having a big ass house. I don't WANT the life they mapped out for me. And even if I DID, I'm not sure I could even do it."

He watched you work for a second and looked at his brothers before looking back at you. "I used to try. And I'm not saying you shouldn't. But. Give yourself some grace... And as hard as it can be, give your mom some grace. She loves you."

He snorted and you crinkle your nose. "She does. Even if she doesn't show it like we want her to- Remember. She ALSO had to survive our parents and live to tell about it."

Zach shook his head, "Grandma is unhinged, dude."

"And she mellowed out once Dad started slipping her Klonopin. So. Imagine what she was like BEFORE that."

"Ugh." Zach shuddered and you nudged him out of your way handing him a soda with a laugh.

[fishfooddude]

Our Future

Age gaps can be difficult. Being at two different times in your life makes the idea of the future seem impossible.

The Bear MasterList

Directory

A/N: I've been workin' on this one for a couple weeks now and I finally finished omg

“I just don’t know if I want her to meet Eva.” Tiffany sighed, crossing her arms over her chest as she stood in the doorway, “Tiff, do you wanna meet her first or somethin’?” Richie asked, scratching the back of his head. “Richie, I’m sure she’s a lovely girl, but she’s like, what 23?” Richie sighed awkwardly. “Yea…” Tiffany shot him a look, “Look, Tiff, she’s really great-. I want Eva to meet her.” he looked down at her hopefully, Tiffany sighed. He’d been okay with Eva meeting her current boyfriend, so it would be hypocritical for her not to let Eva meet Richie’s girlfriend- you. Tiffany nodded. “Just promise you aren’t breakin’ up with her anytime soon. I don’t want Eva to also get her heart broken.”  

~

Over the summer, you worked as a waitress at The Bear. You thought Richie was handsome from the start. He was tall and rugged, and you couldn’t help but watch his hands as he did paperwork or signed for the liquor order. His hands were so big… you couldn’t help but imagine what they’d feel on your body. Manhandling your breasts, wrapped around your neck, pulling you over his knee to spank you… you dragged yourself out of a daydream when Carmy asked the wait staff a question. “I’m sorry my mind was elsewhere… what was the question?”

It went on like that for weeks, Richie being the focal point of your daydreams. Your friends slowly started noticing how you’d turn down guys when you’d go out. Your parents noticed you were taking your time to do your hair and makeup before work. They’d assumed you had a crush on another waitstaff member or, heaven forbid, a line cook; oh boy, did they not expect the man you’d been dolling yourself up for someone 20 years your senior. 

One night, you agreed to go out with some friends from high school. You weren’t looking for a hookup or anything, but when you saw Richie across the street from the club at some pizza place, you were glad you’d borrowed a short cheetah print dress from your friend Mandy. You snuck away from the rest of the group and ‘causually’ bumped into Richie. He’d always thought you were pretty and quick as a whip, but he was significantly older than you, and the idea of even hitting on you made him uneasy. But, when he bumped into you on that night out, he couldn’t get the idea of you out of his mind. “Yo, cousin. You good?” “Ugh yea… was just sayin' hey to y/n.” Carmy chuckled when he saw you walking away from Richie, “She’s into you.” Richie adamantly disagreed, “She’s a good kid, but I’m way too fuckin’ old for her Carm.” 

As the summer came to an end, you’d turned in your two-week notice. Leaving  Richie with a sense of urgency to at least follow you on Instagram. By your last day, he did manage to get your phone number, which, in turn, led to some late-night Instagram stalking from both of you. Richie didn’t expect anything to happen. You were three hours away from Chicago, back at school, surrounded by boys your age. There's no way a girl like you would ever want some 40-year-old divorced single Dad. At least, that was until you’d come home for your Mom’s birthday in mid-September. 

You needed a break from your family. You saw Richie was out with some of the guys from The Bear and decided to make a move. ‘Casually running into’ the group was more challenging than you thought, but when Sweeps noticed you enter the bar, he knew why you were there. “Richie, your girls here.” he laughed; Richie was confused but was happy to see you. You two spent the night talking, “So you got a little boyfriend at school or somethin’?” Richie had hoped the answer would be ‘no,’ and then he could swoop in and show you how a man should treat a woman of your caliber. “Depends on who’s askin’.” you teased, making Richie chuckle. He offered you a ride home.

As Richie pulled up to your parent’s apartment building, you said fuck it and swiftly moved to place a kiss against his lips, the tickle of his facial hair adding to the stimulation. Richie was taken aback; he’d wanted to kiss her for months but didn’t think it would be like this. He kissed you back as soon as he’d realized what was happening. What should have been the perfect first kiss was ruined when your Dad saw you get out of ‘some random old guy's car’ and told you to get your ass inside. 

Your parents scolded you, “Wasn’t he your boss!” “Y/N! We forbid this!”. You were mad at the pair and returned to school sooner than expected. You turned your phone off and stared at the ceiling for a few days; maybe they had a point. Was Richie too old for you? He disagreed; if two people like each other, what’s the big deal? It’s not like she was fresh out of high school- she was 22, and he’d just turned 42. 

A year later, you graduated college and moved back to Chicago to be with Richie and work at a tech start-up. It took a while, but your parents had warmed up to Richie. Granted, your Mom still hated him, but you took a win as a win when your Dad referred to him as an ‘okay guy.’ 

~

Tiffany was hesitant when Richie brought you around Eva at first. She liked you, but she knew Richie better than anyone and didn’t want you to get your heart broken. She didn’t bring anything up until Eva’s birthday party. You were watching the kids play in the backyard when Tiffany saw an opportunity to talk to you. “Hey, Y/N, thanks for comin’.” you smiled up at Tiffany as she sat beside you. “Of course, I couldn’t miss Eva’s Taylor Swift party.” Tiffany nodded before asking, “Can I talk to you about somethin’?” you nodded, “What’s up?” “Might be a little awkward, but um, you and Richie? How’s it goin’?”

You squinted in Tiffany’s direction, “Why do you wanna know?” “I don’t want him back, but you’re just in such a different-” you scoffed. “Tiffany, I don’t think your daughter’s birthday party is an appropriate place to bring this-” “Y/N. I know Richie better than anyone. You have so much life to live. Don’t you wanna travel or get married or have kids someday? I just want you to know what you’re getting yourself into before you’re too invested in this.” “Thanks, Tiffany.” 

Richie was talking to one of Eva’s friend’s Dads when he saw you walking toward the gate, “Sorry, I gotta check on somethin’...” he ducked out of the conversation to follow you out of the backyard. You wiped your eyes as you walked up the street. It was only a couple miles to the closest train stop, and you figured the walk would be a good way to clear your head. “Hey baby- you okay?” Richie called as he ran up behind you. You nodded, “Yeah, everything is fine… I just have to do some stuff…” “What about Eva’s party? Haven’t even had cake yet…” he noticed you’d been crying, “Did Tiff say somethin’ to you? I can-” “Richie- do you wanna get married again?” the question left him dumbfounded. “Maybe?” he shrugged, “Why are you askin about that?” 

You sighed, “Richie, I wanna get married and have kids someday.” you flexed your hand as you stared at the ground, “Okay, we can… we can talk about it later… come back to the party?” Richie said, trying to change the subject and cut the tension between you. “ Yes or no, Richie? Would you want to marry me and have a kid or two within the next three years?” “Baby,” Richie said softly as he touched your bicep, “Let’s talk about all of this later.” you shook your head. “Go back to the party. I have some thinking to do.” you calmly said as you looked up at him. “OK,” Richie nodded and kissed your forehead, “I’ll see you at home?” 

You haphazardly packed some clothes into a suitcase before grabbing your chargers and laptop from the bedside table. This wasn’t how you thought your day would end, but Richie’s answer- or lack thereof- was all you needed to know. Before leaving the apartment, you messily wrote Richie a note saying it was over and your Dad would come by to pick up the rest of your stuff later in the week. You felt your heart break as you locked the door behind you. It was over.

Part 2

[stinkfacestories]

The day you found out you had won Jason Kelces Beard Challenge was the best day of your life. The challenge was simple: put together a snap or tiktok video of how to get a beard as good as Jason and the top winner would win a day with Jason. Your video was a long shot: you made a tiktok showing how if you mixed essence of dwarf, with a bit of neanderthal, and just a splash of viking inside Abraham Lincoln's hat and applied it to your face, you'd look as good as Jason. It did t get very many views but Jason loved it. The next thing you knew you were in Philadelphia meeting the man himself at the airport.

The tour of Philadelphia through Jason Kelces eyes was a lot of stops at places he loved to eat. Steak sandwich, sausage, pizza, ice cream. The man just loved to eat. As the day dragged on just as Afternoon turned to evening he took you to Lincoln Field, his home turf. There was no game and the place was locked down, but that was nothing a few signed balls couldn't handle.

He took you to the locker room, the place where he told you he feels most free to be himself. You both sat down on the bench in front of his locker. He took out a case of bud light and cracked one open. The man drank so much bud lite you swore he was sponsored by them.

He told you to be quiet. To just listen to the sound of the room. To drink it in and become one with the soul of real American football.

The only thing you heard was the bench breaking as Kelce leaned forward and let out a fart with a satisfied grunt.

"Oh, sorry," he said, not sounding very sorry.

"Really? " you said. You looked at him, almost appalled that he would do that with you right next to him.

Jason turned and gave you a wink. "Dont tell me you don't find farts funny. Your a guy. All guys love farts." 

You rolled your eyes. "Not really."

"What about this one," he said and let loose a loud bassy fart.

"God stop it, it's so gross," you said as you slid away, but suddenly found yourself pressed against the wall of the locker room. "Seriously dude. What the fuck?"

"C'mon," Jason said as he moved over towards you. “I warned you. Remember when I ate that large sausage with pickled garlic ave said ‘were in trouble later’? What do you think I meant.” and placed a hand on your chest, giving you a bit of a push. "Don't be a prude."

You were caught between a wall, and a wall of beef holding you in place. "Seriously, stop it".

"Can't stop. Won't stop," he said still pressing you in the wall. His eyes were the kind of dull that only cheap low quality beer can make the."You know I bet you never had an older brother. Between me, my dad and Travis we learned to appreciate farts. My dad told me that the best cure is exposure. So to get you up to speed I think I need to gas you more"

He  pressed into you and lifted up his keg and let loose with a fart so powerful it echied through the empty locker room.. You struggled to get away from the horrible stench, but couldn't escape.

"No, don't do this," you said as it overwhelmed you.

He turned around and pressed his huge soft center lineman ass in your face, the soft fabric of his shorts spreading across your face like warm dough. It was too much, and you were powerless to stop it. His asshole flexed and relaxed as it sent out a long drawn out series of wet sounding farts. You gagged as the air around you filled with the horrid odor.

"Fuck that was a good one," he said, not budging an inch. “Three point stance just rips these farts out of me.”

"I think I'm going to puke," you said, trying not to vomit.

"If your gonna puke, aim that way, I like these shorts." he said pointing. "Do you think it's funny yet?"

"No!" You coughed.

"Alright you asked for it" he presses his ass harder, wedging your nose on his cheeks. He let loose with a rapid fire volley of farts that left you breathless and coughing. He backed away, chuckling at you.

"God, fuck, that's rank!" You coughed. You tried to breathe fresh air but the locker room had been total polluted by Kelces ass.

"Come on. You don't have to love them, but you gotta at least admit they are funny and manly now. How can you like football and not think farts are funny." he let you stew and come up with an answer.

"Fuck...no," you say.

He shrugged. "Ok. Your loss," he said and pressed his ass in your face again.

"No! Please. God. No. Fuck!"

"What's it going to take? Do I need to pull my shorts down and give you a bare ass stinkface?" He said, pressing even harder.

"No! No more. Fine. They're fucking funny," you cried.

"What?" He said. "I couldn't hear you"

"They're funny!"

"Now are you just saying that to make me stop?"

"No, I mean it. They are funny and they are manly."

"Well, if it's funny you won't have a problem asking me to do it a few more times so you can properly laugh. Right?"

"Uh...fine. Sure. Just, please, no more, I can't take it."

He turned and farted once. "Laugh. Laugh hard and long and deep." He was getting frustrated that you weren't laughing. "Seriously come on guy. This is just as bad for me as it is for you. It's hard to hold this position and if I keep farting I'm going to have to take a dump soon"

"Oh god no!"

"Laugh dammit!" He yelled.

"No, no, I can't."

"Fine then," he said. He pulled you down and set you face up on the bench. He loomed over you. "Ok big fucking guns time" he pulled down his shorts and hovered his raw hairy bear ass over your face.

"Oh shit, dude please don't!" His as was a beast. This close you could make out the rough skin. His ass had taken a pounding over the years and looked like a hefty bag overfilled with cottage cheese. The hair on his crack was dense and black. 

"Do you think this is funny?"

"Yes, yes, fuck, yes!" You were sobbing, your body convulsing.

“Good. Then you'll find this hilarious.” he sat down. He sat down hard. He rocked back and forth, the wiry hair of his ass crack scouring your face. He dug deep like he has an itch he was trying to scratch.

"Laugh. C'mon. Laugh, laugh like a big boy." He said, simultaneously belching and farting.

"Ahahaha!" You started crying and laughing.

"Oh fuck. What a fucking cry baby. Laughing at farts is supposed to be funny. Not sad."

"I'm sorry," you sobbed.

"Just...fucking stop," he said, standing and pulling up his shorts as he got off you. "Baby can't handle a grown man's ass. Jesus fuck"

He sat down next to you. You were still shaking a little, tears coming from your eyes. "I'm sorry," you said.

"It's fine, it's not the first time I've gassed someone like that," he said. "your not the only one who cried either "

You sniffed, still wiping tears away. "It was just so...overwhelming. The smell, and the sound, and the pressure..."

"It was a lot. It was," he said.

He drained his bud light and crushed the can. "Ok second chance to get it right." He leaves forward and farted, then looked to you to see your reaction.

You laughed. A genuine laugh. "Fuck, dude."

He smiled and farted again. You kept laughing. "It's funny, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It is," you said, laughing some more.

"Now you" he said 

You panicked. You didn't have to fart. You were to nervous.

"What the hell. Do it"

"I don't know if I can," you said.

"Come on. Do it. Do it" he chanted.

"I can't."

"You trying to make me mad? You're a guy. You should always be ready to let rip"

"But I'm not drunk like you are. And I'm not a fucking monster with an ass like yours."

"Fine, then, let's fix that." He reached down and ripped a huge one. He reached for his phone and placed a call "Trav. Yeah we got an emergency. Yeah get that chili defrosted and get some real cheap beer. Ooooh and some gas station food. Yeah he's a wimp. Didn't laugh. No he did. Fuck no she can't come to.  Alright. Love you. No homo" he hung up the phone.

"Your brother's coming over?"

"Yup. And he's gonna be pissed if you don't laugh when he cuts one. He loves farts. And he's got an ass that could kill a guy."

"Wait..."

"We're going to our man cave. It's a cabin in the woods. Just guys. Strict no pants policy. You better hope Trav remembered his boxers. You are gonna learn to love being a man like us and become the third Kelce brother, or you ain't leaving that shack."

"What's it going to be like," you said, afraid, but also excited.

"Oh, you're gonna hate every minute, and you're gonna love every minute."

"Fuck. I'm going to get wrecked, aren't I?"

"Oh definitely. We will probably fuck up your head so much. You're going to end up with a fetish for this."

You laughed.

All you could do was laugh.

[jazminrhode1]

heyyy, hope ur having a good day/night :) i was wondering if u could continue on with the triplets having an older sister. with like her in their videos and shit. or you could do them (including the parents) reacting to her having a boyfriend?

I Miss Them Too Sturniolo Triplets x Older Sister One Shot

Summary: The boys plan a family dinner over FaceTime.

Word Count: 1399 words

Author's Note: Apologies (1) that this took so long and, (2) if this isn't what you were after. I went on a tangent but, I hope it's OK ❤️

“Honey, come show me how to FaceTime the boys on the iPad” MaryLou called out to her daughter. She was back in Boston for a couple of days but the boys couldn’t make it home so they had planned a family dinner over FaceTime.

Nick had tried to call three or four times and was blowing up the family chat with some choice emojis. As she came into the kitchen, Jimmy and MaryLou were hunched over the iPad trying to figure it out. She pulled out her laptop and called Nick back. “What the fuck is going on?” was the first thing he said when he answered.

Matt, Nick and Chris FaceTimed their sister all the time. She was busy working interstate and couldn’t make it back home as often as she would have liked to. It wasn’t the same since they all moved out but, they tried to make the most of it.

“Get Justin on this thing,” she said as she grabbed her and her parents a glass of water. As they waited, Nick went on a rant about the neighbor that kept calling up with noise complaints. MaryLou tried to play devil’s advocate and Jimmy just rolled his eyes. He missed the chaos when they were gone, they both did.

“I ran into your old lacrosse coach at Target the other day,” she said as MaryLou served up the steak and potatoes she’d made. He had been keeping tabs on the boys YouTube channel since they graduated. His daughters were big fans and he was proud to see them doing something they loved.

“Do you remember when you taught me to drive in that Target parking lot?” Matt asked. They were some of his favorite memories he had with his sister and it made him sad to think that they’d probably never have times like that again.

The boys often spoke about their life back in Boston. They would reminisce on the years that they all lived under the same roof before their sister went off to college and before Justin moved out. It was never quite the same going home anymore.

Nick couldn’t list on one hand the number of good experiences he had at high school, Matt was barely there and Chris was too worried about his brothers to have had the chance to enjoy those moments. They were all focussed on graduating so they could leave for LA and ramp up their YouTube channel. As much as they loved LA, they missed their family a lot.

“You were always a pretty good driver,” she said. “You have to teach me to drive,” Nick begged.

“Absolutely fucking not,” she replied. Chris and Matt burst out laughing. “But, I need to learn” Nick argued. “I wanna live,” she replied, making herself laugh.

Justin joined with, “Are we talking about Nick’s driving again?”

“Hey baby,” MaryLou chimed in. “Hey Ma,” Justin replied taking a bite of his pizza.

“That’s on you, J” their sister said, “I taught Matt, the other two are your problem.”

Justin just laughed and shook his head. He was a man of few words just like his Dad.

“Do you know when I was teaching your sister to drive,” Jimmy stared. “Absoloutely not, Dad” she cut in.

“Oh you were bratty,” MaryLou said cupping her daughter's cheek in her hand. The boys started laughing, and Matt almost choked on his french fry.

“I’ve never heard this story,” Chris said.

“We were driving to Grandma’s house and she pulled into that intersection and almost got side swiped by a guy,” Jimmy continued. “Not true,” she contested.

“You did and then you turned off the car and walked all the way home,” Jimmy finished, rubbing her back comfortingly. She sat pouting as she took a bite of the potato. She knew he just wanted to make the boys laugh. She knew he was always laughing with her and not at her.

“Or the time when you drove the wrong way on that one way street up in New Hampshire?” MaryLou added. “I had been driving for 2 weeks at that point and there were no road signs,” she argued.

“None that you saw,” Justin interjected. “Shut up, Justin,” she said sending daggers through the screen.

“Oh she is gonna kill you,” Nick said. “Watch out,” Chris egged them on.

“Let’s talk about something else,” MaryLou suggested as they all fell silent.

As they ate in silence, her phone lit up with a message from “❤️”. She quickly flipped it over but, she wasn’t quick enough.

“What was that?” MaryLou asked, intrigued. Her daughter was never one to divulge information about who she was dating or even who she was talking to. She had dated some real douchebags in high school and so MaryLou was always a little concerned when she heard that her daughter was seeing someone.

“Nothing,” she replied and tried to change the conversation.

“What’s happening?” Justin asked, smirking. He knew what his Mom was talking about. He was closest to his sister and had met the guy she was seeing when he was last in Chicago. He always protective of her but, the new guy was nice. He had nice friends, he treated his Mom well, he had a great job and, most importantly, he made her happy.

“Move. On,” she said, glaring at Justin through the screen. 

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Matt teased. She rolled her eyes with an exasperated sigh. 

“You do, you have a boyfriend,” Matt exclaimed. “What?” Chris asked. “Since when?” Nick asked.

“Who is he?” Chris asked, “Do we know him?”

“Of course not,” she spat. 

“Do you really, sweetheart?” MaryLou asked. “Why didn’t you tell us?” Jimmy prompted.

“It’s new,” she lied. “6 months new,” Justin said throwing a spanner in the works.

Chris threw his hands in the air, Nick’s jaw dropped. “Why didn’t you tell us?” Matt asked.

“Justin, will you shut up or I will end this shit right now,” she said. She was a little pissed off but, mostly happy that she was forced to tell them otherwise she may have kept him a secret forever.

She wanted to tell her parents first. She knew how much her parents worried about her and how terrible her track record was. After she introduced him to Justin and he seemed to approve, she felt a little better about introducing him to her family.

She muted herself so the boys didn’t hear. “Maybe you can come to Chicago sometime?” she asked.

MaryLou smiled and Jimmy tried to keep his cool. “We would love that. You just let us know when, honey,” MaryLou said.

She hated living so far away. She hated that the distance distanced her from her relationships with her family. When they were all living at home, they were all in each other’s business and she hated to admit how much she loved that. 

She hated that she couldn’t curl up with her Mom after a hard day at work. She couldn’t go on midnight trips to get ice cream with her Dad when she had her heart broken. The triplets weren’t around to deliver a pathetic attempt at the “If you ever hurt my sister…” speech. And Justin wasn’t right down the hall when she needed to hear the honest truth. 

The honest truth was that she got to 25 and realised that things were just different now. They would never all live in the same house again. They would never wake up under the same roof again on Christmas morning. The silence in her apartment was deafening even with the city traffic down below.

She would never have to carry Matt around the house looking for a bandaid. She would never have to hold Chris’ hand so he didn’t run into traffic. Nick would never say, “Look at this,” as he attempted handstands in the pool. Justin wouldn't ever throw a punch for her again.

After she said goodbye to the boys and helped her parents with the dishes, she headed upstairs to get ready for bed. At the end of the hall, she saw Chris’ door cracked open and went to take a look. As she opened the door she saw Trevor laying at the end of his bed.

“Trev, what are you doing in here?” she asked as she knelt down in front of him and patted his little head. He looked up at her with his puppy dog eyes and her heart sank.

“I miss them too, buddy,” she said as she kissed the top of his head. “I miss them too.”

[lincolndjarin]

my sister lives in the attic.

main masterlist

joel miller x reader

warnings : angst, death, child loss, grieving, denial

a/n : i've never written something like this but i'm in a weird place and this idea has been following me for quite some time now so i decided to take a few minutes and write it, i'd love some feedback on it since this style is kinda new to me !!

He didn’t like to talk about his children. 

“Do you have kids?”

“Two daughters.” Was all he said.

That’s what he had told you on your first date. He was so abrupt about it that you didn’t ask about them again, instead opting to wait until he told you on his own terms. 

On your fifth date he told you that Ellie got in trouble for cursing in gym class that day. 

On your seventh date he told you Sarah was away at college, and that he missed her terribly and wished she would visit. 

On your eighth date he told you that Ellie made him a card for his birthday. He even brought it over to your house to show you. It was a drawing of the two of them floating through space. The inside said:

i love our family to the moon and back!

You didn’t ask why Sarah wasn’t included in the crayon family portrait. 

On your ninth date he showed you the photos in his wallet. A baby girl with her curly dark hair up in two little buns sitting in the sand. The one below it was a girl who looked to be about five, giving the camera a toothy grin, standing next to Joel in a courthouse, holding up her adoption papers. 

On your twelfth date he finally invited you over for dinner, you happily accepted. 

Joel introduced you to an extremely energetic seven year old. He gave you a tour of the house (only the first floor.) and you smiled at every family photo hung on the walls.

“I invited Sarah but she couldn’t make it, she’s got midterms but I’m sure you’ll meet her soon.” He tells you before leaving you with Ellie, going to pick up a pizza for the three of you. 

Ellie tells you about school, about her best friend Riley, and about playing soccer in the backyard with her father. 

And then she says the strangest thing. 

“My sister lives in the attic.”

“Excuse me?” You had given her a confused smile but she carried on as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

“My sister, Sarah, lives in the attic.” She said it so plainly. Taking your hand and dragging you up the stairs, pointing up at a staircase on the second story that led to a singular door, pink paint peeling from it with little wooden letters spelling out SARAH, the sight of it put you on edge. 

“We shouldn’t go up there honey, let’s wait until your father gets back.” You had put up a bit of resistance but she ran ahead of you, you watched helplessly from the bottom of the stairs as Ellie pushed open the door and ran inside. 

“It’s okay, dad says I can talk to Sarah whenever I want as long as I don’t touch her stuff.” She had shouted, already inside. Despite every nerve in your body singing for you to go back downstairs and wait, you knew better than to leave a child alone so you climbed the steps and entered the room. 

Nothing strange, nothing frightening, no secret nightmare. 

When you look around all you see is a room, albeit a child's room but a room nonetheless. 

Ellie sits in a love seat, suddenly repeating everything she told you about her day to seemingly no one as she stares at Sarah’s bookshelf. You walk around, trying to recall when Joel said she left for college. Everything is covered in a thick layer of dust but strangest of all this is clearly not a teenager's room. 

This is a childs room, for a girl about Ellie’s age. Every photo on her desk doesn’t show her older than what looks to be twelve. 

“Ellie, honey, when you said your sister lived in the atti-'' She doesn’t stop talking from behind you, ignoring you entirely but her words stop you dead in your tracks. 

“Dad keeps saying you’re coming home for Christmas but he also said you’d be home for his birthday, he keeps telling me how much we’re gonna get along but I just tell him we already get along fine.” 

It sends a chill up your spine, you aren’t superstitious but in a moment of weakness when you turn a part of you almost expects to see a ghost.

Of course that isn’t the case.  

When you look Ellie remains in the loveseat, seemingly the only thing that isn’t covered in dust up here. Her eyes trained on the highest shelf, when you follow her line of sight all of it starts to make sense. The shelf is covered in books and toys and trinkets, all of which are showing signs of age and disuse but the top shelf is neat and tidy, it even looks recently dusted. 

Only two things are on the top shelf. 

A beer bottle with the label ripped off, a lilac sits within it, a few stray petals lay in a halo around the makeshift vase. 

And a dark purple urn. 

You struggle to swallow the lump in your throat, unable to tear your eyes from it. 

“One time Uncle Tommy told me she was an angel.” She whispers when you stare in silence for far too long. “Dad got so mad we didn’t see Tommy for like a month after that and when we did see him again everything went back to normal.”

“What happened to her?” You can’t stop yourself from asking, she only shrugs in response.

“It was before I lived here, I never ask, I’m worried he’ll send me to live with Uncle Tommy if I do.” 

“Oh, honey.” You crouch down beside her, she hugs her knees to her chest. “He wouldn’t do that.” 

“I’m still not gonna ask. He doesn’t talk about her that much, only when someone else brings it up or if I ask to come up here to see her.” You nod slowly before holding your arms out to her, she wraps herself around you and you carry her to the door, eager to leave the tomb you’ve stumbled upon. “Bye Sarah.” She mumbled against your shoulder as you closed the door, the sentiment sent shivers down your spine. 

When Joel returns with the food it’s as if you never were in the attic at all.

Ellie runs to him, wrapping herself around his leg as he laughs, trying to kick her loose. 

When the three of you sit down for dinner she never says a thing to him about any of it. 

She asks if she can go to her friends house after dinner, their mom is going to take them to the arcade, Joel grins at you, asking if she was good while he was gone and you put on a smile, nodding. 

“Then you can go.” He ruffled her hair before she ran off to get her backpack. When it was just the two of you he took your hand, mentioning something about catching a movie while she’s gone, you nodded absentmindedly when he gave your hand a gentle squeeze you finally looked him in the eye. 

You’d never noticed it before but there is a permanent sorrow behind the dark expanse of his irises, as if he’s never really happy, he’s sometimes just less sad. “Everything okay?” He asked. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” 

You don’t bring up the attic at the dinner table.

Or in the car.

Or at the movies. 

He just needs time, you tell yourself. Maybe he’ll tell you on your thirteenth date, maybe it won’t be until your hundredth date. Until then you won’t tell him that you know who lives in the attic and you’ll nod with faux disappointment when he says that his eldest won’t be home for the holidays this year. 

And you’ll take extra care of him on days when he comes home with fresh lilacs.

a/n : yeah so uhhhhhhhhhh tell me how y'all liked this haha idk if i'll write anything like this again it was just sort of something for me to vent with, hope everyones having a good day and thank y'all for reading <3

[lazycats-stuff]

talia and bruce having a older son who “went missing ” but actually joined the court of owls . he’s become friends with a bunch of rouges and two face is like a dad to him. he lives with harley and ivy and sometimes selina and they just chaos. but he runs into batfam and damian just wants to kidnap him so he can have his brother back

Will do. Sorry for taking a while to write this. And sorry if this was too short, I tried to write more 😖 I'm thinking about a part 2, but I'm not sure. Should I?

Summary: Bruce and Talia had a son. But the problem is that he is missing and Talia and Bruce can't find him. That is, until one night that will change everything.

Warnings: Mentions of murder, but nothing explicit, the rouges being friends with (Y/N), Damian trying to kidnap (Y/N), Bruce being done with everything.

(Y/N) wiped his hands, opening the doors of the roof. He sighed as he watched over the city. He managed to kill his target, now it was time to call the cleaners up and he will be going to see Harvey. He didn't see the man in a while. The Court kept him busy. He made a quick call and off he went.

He ran from roof to roof, jumping and rolling. He was close to Harvey's place and he positioned himself to jumped trough the thankfully open window. He landed softly on the hard floor. He walked down the hall for a while before knocking on Harvey's door.

He entered the office, smiling at the man who smiled back.

" My boy, it's been a while! " Harvey said, bringing him into a hug.

" I know, the Court made me busy. " (Y/N) replied, releasing the man.

" How are you? Are you injured? " Harvey asked quickly.

" I'm not injured, I am way to talented to get injured. "

Harvey chuckled, knowing it was true. (Y/N) was a good assassin. Quick and fast on his feet.

" Are you here for long? "

" No, I made a promise to Harley and Ivy that we would have a sleepover. And they told me to get back as soon as possible. "

" Are you hungry? I can make you something quickly. "

" I am slightly, but like I said, I will sleep at Harley's. I'm sure she ordered some pizza. "

" You need something other than pizza. "

(Y/N) shrugged, brushing off the comment. Pizza is life.

" Okay, fine, pizza is enough. "

(Y/N) smiled at Harvey, approving of the comment.

Harvey gave him a hug, saying goodbye. The boy was like a son to him and he doesn't spend enough time with him. He needs to talk with Pamela and Harley about this.

" I will come to visit you in a few days. "

And after a quick hug, he jumped out the window office, managing to swing himself up to the roof. From there he ran once more. He sighed in relief when he go to the Botanical Gardens. He went to the building where Harley and Poison Ivy lived.

(Y/N) was finally happy for Harley. She left the Joker after being abused for so long. From what he has heard, she beat him so heard that he was out of action for a few months so to speak. And he was glad.

He climbed down from the roof through the window that was conveniently left open. He slid in the living room, where Harley was waiting on the couch.

" Hello my little owl! We had made some pizza for you and sit down, no wait, do you need to change? " She fired question after question, not letting him answer.

Pamela gave him a sympathetic smile, knowing that he just needed to crash.

" Hun, let him go to his room. We got you some clean clothes. Take a shower too if you want too. "

(Y/N) nodded, walking towards the room. He sometimes lived here, almost like a third roommate, but that 3rd roommate doesn't pay rent, shows up bloody from time to time and just tired in general. But that wasn't anything new in Gotham. Gotham people aren't even fazed at anything at this point.

He changed from his court of Owls suit. Once he took the the top off, he looked at his arms. No bruises tonight it seems. Good. He took everything off and went into the bathroom. They turned the heating on here. Aw. (Y/N) didn't like cold and he was generally cold most of the time.

He got into the shower and let the warm water. He sighed in pleasure as the warm water washed over his body. It felt heavenly. He quickly washed his hair and body and changed into fresh clothes. He took a towel to dry his hair and then threw it in the laundry bin. Pizza sounds great now. He didn't really eat anything before he left to kill his target.

" Here is your slice. Come on, sit here. Harley wants to watch movies." Pamela said, but something was off.

" Please tell me it isn't action. "

Pamela looked away for a moment and (Y/N) sighed. No. Everything in those movies was unreal and stupid. He always ends up criticizing the moves and unrealistic stuff.

Always.

" Harley, tell me why I have to watch this shit? " (Y/N) asked, huffing.

" Because your commentary is great. You can always shed a light on Hollywood stunts and what doesn't look real. I watched a lot of movies where people's mental health was misrepresented. " Harley said, smiling. But there was something else behind that smile.

" What did you do? " (Y/N) asked, moving closer to Pamela. Pamela raised her eyebrow, confused. What did her girlfriend do?

" Whatever do you mean? "

Pamela sighed. She did something.

" Shit. " (Y/N) muttered, rubbing his forehead. Oh no. The doorbell rang and (Y/N) tensed up. Harley jumped up from the couch and (Y/N) wanted to stop her. It's never a good idea to open the door like that. This is Gotham for the love of God.

" Selina! " Harley screamed and (Y/N) relaxed. Okay, it's Catwoman. Whew.

" (Y/N), my little owl! Harley didn't say you were going to be here! " Selina exclaimed happily, quickly bringing her favorite into a hug.

" I wanted to surprise you. " Harley said, moving to sit on Pamela's lap.

" Well, none the less, I brought some face masks. "

(Y/N) groaned as the girls laughed. Oh God.

Few days later, he went to Harvey. There was a problem while he was working, well killing. He got ambushed by familiar assassin. His mother's assassins. Did his mother found him? That can't be. He made sure that it looked liked like he went missing. Maybe it wasn't his mother, but his father?

(Y/N) shook his head. No... Bruce would go after him himself. What is he going to do now?

He rolled his shoulder that was probably dislocated or bruised. He can't do this. He can't go back to live with either of them. He can't. He just can't. There is a reason why (Y/N) joined the Court of Owls.

Talia cursed as she got a call from one of her assassins. (Y/N) escaped and even managed to evade her assassins. He was taught well after all. The limo that she was driving in stopped in front of the manor. She gave Bruce a call about (Y/N). Bruce was quickly outside waiting for her already. He was nervous, fearing the info.

" Hello beloved. I have news. " Talia said, moving past Bruce inside of the manor.

" You should call Damian too. "

Bruce didn't need to. The four boys showed up, and everyone was tense and on guard, but Damian. He knew that his mother wouldn't attack them.

" What is happening? " Jason asked.

" You know about Damian's brother (Y/N)? The one that went missing? " Bruce said, rubbing his forehead.

The boys nodded, confused. They knew the basics of (Y/N)'s story, but nothing in detail.

" Talia found him. Her assassins tried to get him, but he escaped and evaded them. "

" And that's not all. " Talia said, making everyone look at her.

" He joined the Court of Owls. I recognized the uniform he was wearing. "

Bruce was shocked to say the least. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. No. Oh no.

" So what do we do? " Jason asked.

" We find him and bring him here. " Damian said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

" Okay, we can't just kidnap him- " Dick started, trying to come up with a non violent solution.

" Well you can't, but I can. " Damian said.

" But you do need a plan. " Talia said.

Damian mumbled something beneath his breath. Bruce knew that it wasn't something good. But Talia was right. If they wanted to bring (Y/N) back, they would need to make a plan. A good one.

(Y/N) was paranoid. For the last couple of days, he was constantly watching his back. Maybe he needs to leave Gotham? But where? Mexico? Canada? Somewhere in Europe? Asia? Australia?

No, not Australia. Spiders and snakes.

" What am I going to do? " (Y/N) asked himself as he was standing on the roof. He couldn't stay with anybody tonight. He was going to crash with them during the day.

He just needs to survive the night. He needs to. He can do this.

" Hello brother. "

(Y/N) slowly turned around. Damian the rest of the family was there.

" Not happening. " (Y/N) said, before jumping off of the roof.

He heard footsteps behind him. He can't stop now, he needs to lose them now. He managed to throw Tim off. He could only hope to throw the rest off.

He was proven wrong when Damian threw them both down onto a random rooftop. They both groaned before managing to rise up to their feet.

" Why did you join the Court of Owls? " Damian asked, completely calm. (Y/N) glared at Damian, refusing to answer.

" You don't need to know that. "

(Y/N) looked back, seeing a building. It was still in construction, he could hide there. He managed to jumped there just in time. He landed softly before moving through the holes through the floor.

He listened to the possible noise that they could make. He held his breath as he managed to escape. He put a scarf over the bottom part of his face and the pulling a cap out of his pocket to put it on his head. He needs to get somewhere.

Somewhere away from here. He closed his eyes for a moment. No. No emotions tonight. Only pure logic.

[charliehoennam]

SFW Alphabet - Detective David Loki

This is kinda long, but i love him your honor s/o for the list template

SHARING IS CARING, SO PLEASE REBLOG

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

-  It would take a lot to get to that point since he’s mostly been a loner/outcast;

- There’s definitely a facet of him that craves affection since he’s been shown it so little growing up. He didn’t have much of it, so it’s rare and usually psychologically related to basic human needs like

- Making the most minimal noise when he has to get up earlier than you and you’re still asleep. Having been deprived of it in his tough childhood, he knows how sweet sleep can be and wants you to relish in it even though he can’t;

- Giving food is his love language

- He’ll surprise you by bringing home your favorite sweet from your favorite bakery if he knows you had a bad day

- He’ll be nonchalant about it too (even though you know for a fact he went out of his way to get it because it’s on the other side of town)

- “I was picking up some lab results and figured I’d stop by. It was on the way back”

- No, it was not, but that’s ok because you know he’s as lowkey like his name

- He’s not big on PDA, he’s just not wired that way

- Not because he hates it, more like because he’s insecure of it

- He didn’t have great examples of it growing up. His dad was abusive in the few years he lived with his family before he was sent to Huntington’s Boys Home after his teacher called CPS when he showed up at school with cigarette burns

- He’s naturally alert because of his job. It’s a sixth sense he’s developed overtime, so he’ll hold your hand when you’re crossing the street and brings you to the side where cars aren’t approaching from in case of accidents, keep you on the inside part of the sidewalk further from the road, maybe a hand around your waist or on the small of your back or on your thigh in the car

- it’s minimal but present in public (unless he’s jealous of someone)

- He’s very affectionate with you though in private

- He likes the closeness, even if it’s just sitting on the couch, going through his files or paperwork while you do your nails or something

B = Best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

- He’s not the most sociable person, so I wouldn’t expect him to show up to every party or get-together

- He meets up for a beer/coffee to keep in touch from time to time

- He’s a good friend, great to talk to and very understanding although his tick will sorta give him away when you��re oversharing

- He won’t admit it, he’ll let you go on because he knows you need it and he’s okay with that because you’re not just anyone

- He doesn’t have many friends after all

- He’s just not the best at giving advices so he feels uncomfortable knowing that he’s not much help

- You probably go way back because making new friends gets harder as you get older and he’s not very social

- You met at a pizza place where you worked at together back in high school

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle)

- He fucking loves them

- Will not admit it because he’s lived without them for a long time, but that’s also why he fucking loves them

- He hates how vulnerable they make him feel but enjoys that he can finally feel that

- He never had many chances to let himself be vulnerable

- He’s the protector and not usually the protected so it feels nice to let his guard down but it does scare him a bit

- Being the big spoon indulges his natural masculine instinct, but if you hold him (either being the big spoon for him or letting him rest his head on your chest with your arms around you) he will cry inside

- That will most likely happen when he’s had long days working on troubling cases

- They take a mental toll on him, especially child-related cases

- Also, I personally believe he’s got a couple mommy issues

- She left his dad when he was young

- As an adult, he can understand why she left but there’s definitely a longing for warmth (emotionally) that he forced himself to bury deep down

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Cleanliness

- His cleaning is on point

- He doesn’t have OCD, but he’s a bit of a neat freak

- He’s not anal about where the toothpaste is left, just as long as its’ cap is on if that makes sense?

- He doesn’t like leaving things to do later unless he absolute has to (thank you, traumatic childhood)

- He likes to do the dishes right after dinner

- His job doesn’t allow him a lot of time to clean his home, so he hires someone to clean like once every two weeks

- It’s a lot easier but he maintains the cleanliness quite well

- He’s really good at ironing in emergencies too

- He irons his uniforms for work but he hates it (and he hates wearing them so he’ll only wear them if he really has to)

- He barely has time and mental sanity to sleep, let alone iron clothes

- If he has to wear them for work, it’s hello dry-cleaning

- The neat freakiness doubles at work

- He does not like others rearranging his stuff, using his mug

-  “Hey, man. Sorry to sound like a dick, but that’s my mug. Y/N got me that ‘detective of the year’ mug for my birthday and it’s kinda special”

-He won’t be explosive if someone borrows a pen without asking, but don’t touch the man’s files. this is critical. He just likes to know where his shit is

- his time in the boy's home definitely disciplined him to always have his bed made, keep his things neat and minimal

- he probably has like one nice cologne, one deodorant and his usual hair gel on the sink of his bathroom

-  he doesn’t have much and he’s okay with that

- having too many options seemed a little extra to him, but as you gift him with bath sets and shaving kits, he starts to warm up to the “ treat yo self” idea a lil bit (he’s learning and it’s a process. he’s getting there ok)

Cooking

- He’s not the best at cooking

-He barely had food in his fridge when you’d met and he lived on take out

- He didn’t really care much about taste or nutrition, only that it made his stomach stop growling and eliminated the headache creeping in because that was the only time he actually remembered to eat

- Has the weirdest combinations of sandwiches like mayo with peanut butter and cheddar

- After he met you, he genuinely started giving it more effort

- Don’t expect anything fancy

- His dishes are comfort and casual, but overall tasty

- Pasta dishes are his best because they’re quick and easy to make

- He secretly wants to learn how to make homemade pasta but he gets overwhelmed just reading the recipes and happily settles for storebought

- He did try once to impress you on valentine’s day

-It was very romantic, you had wine and cooked together but the pasta was terrible so you happily resorted to pizza.

Does he want to settle down?

- uhm the idea scared him to death

- It reminds him of his own upbringing and he despised his dad

- He doesn’t want to become him but he also wants a chance to have a real family

- It’s an internal conflict

- If he does have a child, it’s certainly not planned

- He’s always envied other kids who had that traditional white Christmas and thanksgiving family dinners, so he does get excited about getting to have that

- He’s been so used to being on his own, it’s been his comfort zone and he didn’t mind it until the baby surprised everyone

- Scared shitless and contemplates disappearing, but he doesn’t wanna be a deadbeat like his dad

- Warms up to the idea that he has the opportunity to be different and everything his dad wasn’t

- Gets secretly excited about creating traditions

- He doesn’t hate the holidays as much as before and gets into the spirit a little

- Buys a garland for his door near Christmas, a couple fake pumpkins on Halloween for the porch

- The mini Christmas tree you put up and decorated together on your first Christmas together is a huge step up already

- After meeting you, he’s slowly warming up to the idea of settling down because he finally feels safe

- proud pushover dad

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

- His job means everything to him

- Being able to protect means being able to provide what he didn’t have as a child, so it’s very personal

- He hasn’t had many serious relationships; most were just flings with no strings attached to make things easy

- The first time you broke up was after a fight on his absence and priorities

- He can be very impatient when frustrated

- He brought it up first and very heatedly suggested to just end things to make easier on both of you

- But he felt your absence more than he expected to and regretted his words every time he’d come home and not find you there

- It made him realize that he was in deep shit and loved you more than he thought, so he came running back to you with flowers and the shyest but the sincerest apology

 - “I know I fucked up. What I said was stupid. I was stupid. It was in the heat of the moment and I’m sorry. It’s no excuse, but I need you to know that for the longest time, it’s been just me and that was what I knew. But I need you. I need you back. And it’s fine if you don’t want to, I can accept that. I just need you to know that I’m willing to change. I just need you to understand that this is new to me, having someone... I am trying. It might not happen overnight, but   I-I’ll get there”

- His eyes were blinking hard the whole time and he couldn’t barely look at you due to the guilt

- Homeboy was hurting but he’s a rock, or at least he feels he needs to pretend to be

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

- He has spent years running from it

- Flings were much easier because no attachment = no hurt

- You started off a fling, it was super casual just meeting for beers or coffee and always ending in sex

- There was a pull that kept leading him to your place after his shifts and it just kept going

- Being with you soon became the easiest and nicest part of his day

- It scared him so he distanced himself a bit

- It confused the fuck outta you so you confronted him about it since you’d felt like you’d done something wrong

- “You’re everything that’s right and I don’t know what to do. I never had someone so good and I’m scared you’ll realize you deserve better”

- It hurt to know that he didn’t think he was good enough for you, but you respected his timing and kept things casual until he was ready to take it to the next level and he couldn’t be more grateful to have some as patient and comprehensive as you

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

- I wouldn’t say he’s gentle, but he’s definitely a little soft-spoken and more attentive around you

- He does not want to disrespect you in the slightest

- He loved his mom more than anything

- He saw her suffer in his father’s hands and he never wants to make his partner fear him

- The first time you kissed, he asked for your permission. The first time he took your top off, he asked for permission.

- After you became more familiar, he didn’t ask for it verbally

- It would be in the form of him gently tugging on your top or pants or staring at your lips

- He definitely has game and was a huge flirt tho

- In arguments or stressful situations, he can be hot-headed due to his temper

- He’s not violent and you’ve never felt unsafe around him

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

- Physical affection is not his main love language

- The first would be quality time, the second is acts of service. Physical affection would probably be third

- He doesn’t hate hugs, he just doesn’t allow himself to be constantly emotionally vulnerable and won’t accept them from just anyone (only you)

- But when he’s had a long day or is working a disturbing case, he will seek you out and hug you in silence for a long moment

- He loves it when you notice he’s not ok and wrap your arms around him, cradling his head against your chest or your stomach

- A couple of very painful cases that he will carry with him for the rest of his life have broken him down to the point where just your warm hug made him cry

- It was silent for the rest of the night but you did not leave him

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

- Ohhhhhh you thought he’d never say it

- You’d said it before well into your relationship and said it was okay if he didn’t say it back

- You just wanted him to know that he was loved

- It took him forever to build the courage because he was so afraid getting comfortable and then not having you around anymore after that, so in his head, your absence wouldn’t hurt as much if he hadn’t said it

- His emotional guard was sky-high up

- He’d overheard you unintentionally on the phone talking to a close friend about it and how scared you were for maybe jumping the gun or scaring him off

- He hated that it made you self-conscious because he did love you

- Weeks after hearing your conversation, he crawled into bed after a long day unsure if you were asleep and he just whispered it, followed with a peck on the back of your head

- You wanted to squeal with happiness, but he was so subtle about it and you didn’t want to overwhelm him

- You smiled softly as you turned your head to look back at him and kissed him tenderly before snuggling up to rest

- Mad sex ensued the following morning

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

- It’s funny because he’s mature enough to understand that you are attractive and that means people will obviously look, but he will not, for the love of all that is sacred, admit that he’s jealous

- Expect snarky remarks

- “Maybe you should ask your new pal at work, I’m sure he’d know”

- If this person is nearby like the time the cashier at the local grocery store kept checking you out, he will scare stare them down – tick blinking in effect – and get instinctively defensive

- “Are you alright? Do you have a problem?”

- If it’s a co-worker, he will make the effort of picking you up some days of the weeks to make his presence known, even if he has to drop you off at home and go back to the station

- He will have his badge and gun exposed on his hip as he purposely waits for you outside the car

- It’s purely strategically to intimidate

- But if someone disrespects you, he will get physical (police brutality warning)

- Might arrest them for harassment

 K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) (WARNING: gets a lil hot here)

- Really depends on the moment

- If you’re going at it, he will kiss you hungrily and it’s why he loves missionary

- They’re not sloppy kisses, he’s really good at it and enjoys the feeling of his lips molding against yours

- If he’s working his pace up, they will be on your neck or shoulder

- Aside from that, they’re usually just small pecks

-Always before he leaves

- If you’re asleep in bed, it’s on your head

 - Getting dressed for work? Making breakfast? Walking to your car? There’s always a goodbye peck

- He will not leave without it and he will assume you’re mad at him about something if you leave him hanging

- He looooooves to be kissed on the forehead

- He's almost never been kissed there but they make him feel so safe, loved and appreciated and he tears up a little bit

- Rubs his eyes to hide it

- Chest kisses and back kisses are very appreciated too, especially if you’re cuddling

- He will melt like cotton candy in water

L = Little ones (How are they around children?

- He is adequately awkward around them lmao

- It’s not that he doesn’t like kids, he has not been around them enough to know how to act

- He gets self-conscious

- Treats them like they’re mini-adults when his co-workers bring their kids to work

- “Tough day, huh, kid? How about another round of Nesquik?”

- Teaches them how to identify a real or fake badge for future safety purposes

- Babies are his nightmare, but he learns how to deal with them quick when you teach him and that little human has him wrapped around their tiny fingers upon first sight

- Will absolutely teach his children how to use and shoot a gun

- He’ll be damned if his kids aren’t taught how to defend themselves

- “Ballet? No, let’s get her into Judo or Muay Thai”

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

- They are rare unfortunately

- Sometimes, he’s coming home in the morning when you’re getting ready for work

- It’s kinda good because you can at least have breakfast together before you leave and he crashes for sleep

- If his phone rings before he’s up, you already know he’s gotta go so you’ll get up to put on some coffee for him as he gets ready

- You wish he could have more opportunities to sleep in

- You appreciate every second of the morning when you do get to be together

- He’ll make jokes as he shaves and you brush your teeth

- His bathroom is not big enough for two people at the same time, but you both kinda like the lack of space

- He is not shy

- Will absolutely use the toilet even if you’re in the shower and does not mind if you do the same, although he will tease you for it

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

- They’re not much different from the mornings

- Sometimes, he’s leaving for work as you’re coming home

- But more often than not, he’s home at night and sometimes he’s late

- His favorite days are when he comes home early, in time for dinner or in time to actually help make dinner

- He kinda likes cooking now but doesn’t get too adventurous to avoid wasting food

- If you’re home together, it’s a pretty cozy night

- Watch some TV together, cuddle on the couch and talk about your days

- it's the simple small things that mean the most

Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

- This man makes peeling onions with a spoon look easy

- Layers upon layers upon layers

- He’s not used to opening up about anything

- He started slowly when he first realized how important you were to him

- Didn’t talk about his family until during your wedding planning inn the engagement phase and it still caused a fight

- You pressed him to do so and he got angry because he doesn’t like talking about his asshole of a father or his mom walking out

- It’s too emotional and he didn’t really work that shit out in him yet, just kinda put it in a locked box on a shelf and left it in the back of his mind

- It’s a lot to unpack and he hadn’t spoken  about it in decades

- He didn't just cry that night, he sobbed

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

- Are you serious? The man has resting bitch face syndrome

- His frown is his standard

- He kinda reminded you of the old man from Up

- He has patience, but nothing lasts forever and he’s only a man

- Before he met you, he didn’t have much of it

- After he met you, he’s learned to have a little more

- Just the fact that he acknowledges that he had so little of it is already a major step up

- He tries, ok?

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

- EVERY. SINGLE. DETAIL

- His memory is the fucking best

- Dates, habits, preferences

- It kinda gets on your nerves sometimes because he’ll also remember that you ate the last piece of his favorite cheesecake and tried to hide it

- Or that you already watched the new episode of the series you’re watching together on Netflix

- He’s not a child about it, but he likes to wait and see how long it’d take you to confess it just for fun, dropping hints here and there

- But you always get flowers sent to you on your birthday and on special holidays  and everyone at work envies you for it

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

- Oh he has quite a few

- But it’s probably the first getaway trip you had

- He’d finished the paperwork and bureaucratic process of court dates the Dover-Birch case and you suggested taking a weekend off to spend at a lakeside inn in the country

- The drive there was his favorite moment as you sang along to your favorite songs

- Despite mocking you for knowing all the words to “I Want It That Way” by Backstreet Boys, he joined in and surprised you by knowing all the words too

- You were so excited about it and the whole experience made his heart melt

- It was a really nice bonding moment that he’d never really had

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

- He knows you can take care of yourself, so he’s not obsessive about it. He’s just seen a lot of shit from his cases, so he does worry

- Asks you to call him when you get home just to make sure you’re safe and worries when you don’t

- He knows you well so he can easily pick up on when you’re uncomfortable

- Won’t make a huge scene, but he will remove you from the situation if you can’t like if you’re at a dinner party and someone’s annoying you but you don't wanna be impolite (yes, he keeps his eyes on you just to make sure you're safe)

- If it’s a physical situation, like you’re at a gas station and someone angrily or drunkenly starts squaring up at you, he stays calm but immediately goes into cop mode to handle the situation and puts himself in the middle to shield you

- “Call the station and ask for a patrol car. Stay in the car with the keys no matter what. Do not get out, and drive away if you have to.”

- His instinct is to be a first responder, so he’ll handle it accordingly with procedure

- Since he’s usually doing the protecting, there aren’t many opportunities for him to be protected

- What he does admire though is how you protectively reach out over him if you’re driving and have to slam on the brakes unexpectedly to hold him back

- Or when you speak up for him like that one time his dish came with a hair in it at a restaurant

- He’d eaten worse as a kid, so he would’ve just taken it out and eaten the food

- But you didn’t let him and said it was unacceptable and politely asked the waiter for another

- He loves that you don’t let people take advantage of him

- He also loves it when girls notice his badge and flirt with him

- Like him, you know that he’s attractive and you trust him

- He doesn’t let it go on and makes it obvious that he’s not interested, but he likes knowing that you want him for yourself

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

- Previous to your relationship, he didn’t try at all

- But now, he feels guilty that he can’t be home all the time and can’t make it to special events

- So he does his best to make for it

- If he couldn’t celebrate Valentine’s day with you, he’ll take you out to a nice place when he’s free

- He never forgets your anniversaries, but his job is demanding and you gotta understand that to be with him

- He’ll get you gifts and have flowers sent to make you know that he didn’t forget

- As soon as he gets the chance to be with you, he’ll make it up

- As for everyday tasks, he tries his best

- If you drink coffee, he’ll leave the pot on to keep it warm for you

- He’ll make dinner beforehand if he has night shifts and leave you a plate wrapped in cellophane to keep it fresh for you to heat up when you get home

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

- Everyone’s got theirs and David is no different

- His number one bad habit undereating or just not taking care of himself when stressed. That involves not getting enough food and rest

- It just makes him even more stressed and naturally more prone to anger, which means his patience wears thin and it sometimes leads to arguments

- He brings his work home and will get very upset if you touch or go through his files because he doesn’t want you to see the shit he has to see

- Procrastination because it usually will be left up to you to see to whether it’s mundane house chores or errands  (he tries so hard to hold up his end though)

- Listening to respond because his mind is on his case and sometimes, he doesn’t realize it. It’s automatic and can be frustrating when you realize he’s not listening, but he does his best to control it and immediately snap out of it.

- Doesn’t happen too often, just when he’s got a lot on his mind

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

- He thought he was kinda vain with his tattoos and hair style

- Everyone at the station calls him Pretty boy and he is lowkey proud of it

- Keeps his hair trimmed and goes to the barber at least three times a month

- He knows he’s a hairy fellow and likes to look well-kept although he kinda wants to grow out his beard

- is worried the captain will tell him to shave it

- As for clothes, he’s pretty average and likes to lounge in his white tanks and sweatpants

- He’s not gonna wear a suit unless he absolutely has to (he draws the line at the tie)

- But he doesn’t walk around like a mess either

- He’s happy if he doesn’t look homeless lol

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

- he fucking loves sweets, they’re his kryptonite

- he almost never had sweets or desserts growing up, so if you bake this man a cake for his birthday, he will cry in the shower

- he’s not a fitness freak, but he goes work out a lil bit like 3 times a week just to stay sane and in shape

- eats the leftovers of your dish if you can't finish it (it's either because he doesn't like wasting food or because his eating habits are wack)

- he's a stubborn little shit sometimes

- loves conspiracy theories

- strongly believes that Princess Diana's death was no accident and adores her

- believes in aliens and don't even get him started on the chemtrails theory

- history channel and animal planet are his favorite channels

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

- I don’t think incomplete is the correct word to put it, but your absence would definitely hurt him

- He’d try his best to avoid thinking about it

- Would probably sleep at the station to avoid going home to an empty house

- He would bury himself in work, no doubt about that

- Swears off relationships for the next 10 years

- It would take a lot to fill your shoes so he’d rather just not try

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

- He would not like high-maintenance or snobby people

- He grew up running around barefoot, so he’s happy to have shoes that fit. Being with someone who can’t wear shoes that are slightly dirty is just not possible to him

- Racist people are not welcomed at all. PERIOD. He wishes he could lock them up solely for that

- Disrespectful people who are rude to service people. HUGE turn-off for him

- Not understanding or accepting his job and the disadvantages that come along with it

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

- Sleep? What is sleep? lol

- If he’s sleeping  alone, he hugs his pillow

- If it’s with you, he hugs you

- He’s a light sleeper but he falls asleep so fucking fast like in record time

- He’d got very cold feet and he’s self-conscious about them because he’s been teased about them before by an ex, so he’ll sleep with socks on in the winter

- He snores

- Not enough to shake the house, but he does snore a bit and will deny it until he dies even if you record him

- “Nah, that’s not- that’s edited! You edited it in and I don’t snore. Period. Case closed.”

[amymbona]

Girl dad Patrick Zweig.

Someone give him a daughter.

That man deserves to have a daughter and dedicate his whole life to her.

She is the light of his life, the sun of his days. This man adores his daughter more than any other person in this world.

He is her protector, her prince, her knight in shining armour. Any kid being rude to his little girl? Patrick makes sure that kid is crying to his parents.

Someone said a bad thing about his daughter? That someone wakes up with all their teeth extracted, I'm not even joking.

He buys her sweets, chocolate, pizza, milkshakes, cotton candy, McDonald's, popcorn - anything she asks for! It's unhealthy? Oh, no worries, she will be eating a bowl of fruit after that.

He never lets her walk a longer distance. Always scoops her up in his arms and pretends to throw her in the air for some laughs.

Does his girl like a particular dress? A fluffy skirt? A little shirt printed unicorn? Socks with ruffles? It's in her wardrobe the next day.

Watching TV shows together. Introduces her to South park and teaches her curse words at an early age.

"Mister Zweig? Your daughter called her classmate an ugly ass horse."

No punishments. That man is proud of his little girl for standing up for herself.

Braiding her hair. He's been watching youtube tutorials on that.

Even learned how paint nails with perfectly chosen non-toxic nail polish.

Her room is her kingdom. A canopy bed, fluffy carpet, pushed scattered all over the room. Lego buildings by the wall. All book series neatly sorted in her bookshelf. Little fairy lights on the ceiling. Pictures of the two and posters of One direction on the walls.

Allows her to play the Sims and Minecraft on his computer.

Little tea parties each Sunday.

Lets her do his makeup with one of these shitty sets. There are glitters all over his face but he loves it.

His girl could actually be a makeup artist in the future.

"Did such a good job, sweetheart!"

Neat and thoughtful. His girl never catches a cold in winter, buys her little vitamin C gummies, tucks her shirt in her pants so she's all nice and warm.

Teacher his daughter tennis but never wants her to pursue the career professionally. Knows it could eventually ruin her.

Attends every single ballet performance. Always sits in the first row and records a video.

"That's my girl!"

When she's older, talks about boys follow. And Patrick gets so protective.

"Never let a boy treat you bad. If he's being rude, just kick him in the nuts. Yeah. Just like that."

When she gets a love letter from her classmate on Valentine's day, he calls the guy's mother to know everything about him. His daughter won't be dating some asshole.

Unconditional support. Whatever hobbies she pursues or clothes she wears (unless they at especially revealing), whoever she loves or however she feels, he always supports her.

Pep talks about mental health. Patrick knows how important it is to feel mentally comfortable.

Would do everything for daughter to smile and be happy.

A proud concert dad. Always accompanies his girl and records videos for her so she can enjoy the whole experience thoroughly.

Cries at her graduation.

"They grow up so fast, don't they?"

Forever the most important woman of his life.