#And the nature of the quests is such that it's not weird to have it be partial like.. again.there's no major plot. it's not like the quests

[heliomanteia]

I love VG because it discusses one of my favorite narrative themes: the making of a tyrant.

It’s a theme that has been built up since the Exalted Council of Trespasser, and since base game DA:I in practical terms.

Solas is the thin tightrope between what he wishes to be (a hero) and what he fears to become (a tyrant). This has also been built up at the very least since Trespasser. In my opinion, VG builds up on the making of the tyrant perfectly through the triangle of Elgar’nan/Solas/Rook, constant questioning of “what makes you the leader?” (continuing the Dragon Age tradition of challenging the logic of heroic stories), and other narrative means through the game.

For some reason calling Solas a tyrant in the making causes a weird wave of defensiveness across certain areas within the fandom but he is one. He’s one with a “motive”, sure, but he deluded himself into thinking the end justifies the means — which is a dangerous line of thought repeatedly discussed in the game. Solas is a step away from being a tyrant. He’s very well aware of it himself (“I won’t have you witness what I have become”) and he’s challenged over it by Rook (re: Elgar’nan comparison; “and I believe I had you [to keep me in check]”).

Solas as a character begs to be stopped before he (keeping in mind he’s a [former] spirit, not your usual elf) inevitably twists within the best parts of his nature. Varric is right, he aches for someone to sell him a better option than the one he’s mind locked in. He’s begging the player to show him an alternative before he becomes what he hates.

And I love VG for that (and many other) narratives that it consistently offers. “What makes a good leader?”, “How many excuses until tyranny?”, “Where is the line between a hero with an excuse and a tyrant?” are far from being the only questions the game asks. Some of them are literal (i. e. the question of abuse of power during lichdom quest) and some are more metaphorical (i. e. does doing the bidding of a god release you from responsibility? [no] during Bellara’s quest).

It’s a good game.

[felassan]

.

[spinnysocks]

vita shows me a stick :]

[lameow-l]

this was literally the only question i was curious about, thanks for asking that for me paimon

like fontainain people married other nationalities yeah?? how did they have kids if they were oceanids.. anddd umm if they could fuck normal humans wouldn’t that make the oceanid in springvale falling in love with a boy from mond a bit problematic lol especially since it’s no longer a fairytale but an actual thing that happened and we witnessed it last patch??

so it’s not the case and new oceanids are just turned into humans but wait!! so celestia allows that?? it keeps constantly happening but they’re not stopping it.. ok sure but also

i wonder how many generations of fontaine people will it take for them to realize that they have to sexually mate to create children now

[icewindandboringhorror]

Hrmm... Revising my game and I feel like there's still sooo much writing left to do, for something that probably won't even amount to much, so.. I do want to narrow my focus more (especially given my health problems seeming to get worse/less energy the past few years), but I'm not sure how would be best to...

I currently have 5 characters as the Main ones with full planned questlines and such, with each character having 6 quests you can do for them. But I haven't really started the writing for the 5th main character. So then I was thinking, if I were going to write 6 full quests worth of content anyway... is it better to allocate that time on just doing a Complete 6 Quests for ONE single character, OR would it be better to do something like.. choose THREE side characters and do 2 quests for each of them? So that people have a wider variety to interact with and sort of sample around (of course with the idea that, once the first version of the game is released, IF people actually care about it enough to make it worth the effort, I would then add additional content to complete those 3 characters stories as well)

-

SO... If you were playing an interactive fiction sort of game centered around talking to & doing quests for a cast of characters (like there's no larger plot, more it's just about interacting with people, every character kind of has a self contained story, the focus is just learning about them and the world and exploring the area) --- Which would you rather have?

(and of course it would be stated up front which characters have only partial questlines, so people don't expect them to have full quests like the others and then get disappointed, or etc. etc.)

Basically, is it better to just focus in specifically on having one fully complete questline? Or for there to be a few stories that are not complete yet, but have more initial options available?

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

Okay legit question: what is up with all the romance books that are just retellings of fairytales or classic myths?  Why is this specific trend so prominent?  It’s not inherently bad or anything I just don’t see enough of the appeal for it to be as popular as it is.

[hsslilly-blog]

i’m wondering how my other rewrites are going to go because the other quests are much longer than on the hunt. i don’t want to break them into parts because that’s lame and uncentralised things bother me, but i also don’t want it to be. like. 20k words long lmao.

[prokopetz]

Something I love about The Far Roofs is how much of a swerve its premise is if you're coming to it uninitiated.

Okay, so there's these talking rats with a culture of swashbuckling heroism – basic Redwall/Reepicheep stuff.

Also, there's a magical realm called the Far Roofs which exists above every human community, and that's where the rats go adventuring; a little weird, but you can see the precedents in popular fiction. It's like wainscot fantasy taken to its logical-yet-absurd conclusion.

By default, the game wants you to play as a fictionalised version of your (presumably human!) self and go up onto the Far Roofs to have adventures with the rats. All right, now it's coming together: it's like isekai fantasy meets The Muppet Show, with you as the obligatory human character, right?

Then we get to the nature of those adventures: the rats have this whole culture built around questing against beings they call "the Mysteries" – beasties with names like Harpy and Goblin and Unicorn. So basically it's a bunch of muppety rats on the roofs fighting Dungeons & Dragons monsters, and you go up and help them do it. Great.

And then you get to what the Mysteries are actually like, and... well, I'm going to let the following excerpt carry the weight here. (This particular bit of text also appears in a previously published work by the same author, so I'm not giving anything away that's still under wraps.)

Unicorn, which is named Numinous, dwells three steps away and beyond the world, but most often in the Farthest Roofs, where the Steppes of the Sky come down to touch the Vast and Earthen Court. There it is stepping upwards from the world, as it has always been stepping upwards from the world, caught in a moment of transcendent glory that does not complete. It simply is. Melanthios heard the footsteps of Unicorn. Melanthios heard the ringing of Unicorn’s bells. So Melanthios chased Unicorn off to the Farthest Roofs, and Melanthios did not return. Anton and Karel, who were his sons, were wiser than their father. They heard the bells but they did not follow. Instead, they memorized the scent. They gathered swords, and ropes, and nets, and they went out. They brought food and water and all manner of gear. They clung to the roofs with all four feet wheresoever after Unicorn they went. It proved no good. Anton looked up, and Karel to his brother. The world came down— That’s what Karel said. He had time to look away. He had time to bury his head in his paws. He did not see the fullness of Unicorn’s presence. He only saw Anton his brother become unreal. In the light of the moment of the Unicorn, Anton became as a paper figure in the fire. His reality burned out. His shadow seared into the roofs behind him. Where he’d stood, for just a moment, the Steppes of the Sky came down to touch the Vast and Earthen Court; and Anton was gone away. So Karel ran and Karel ran and Karel ran from the Unicorn; and all his life, he envied but was more fortunate than his brother.

These are gods. You're going up there to kill God.

Like, it's still silly wainscot fantasy with funny talking rats, but there's that tension. It's like if Fraggle Rock occasionally took a hard turn to serious cosmic horror – Lord Dunsany by way of Jim Henson – and that tonal juxtaposition was treated as something unremarkable.

Basically what I'm saying is go back The Far Roofs.

[cains-daughters]

hot summer days/nights with werewolf bf!

spending the day at the lake, river or beach, anywhere where he can cool off and obviously it’s a great excuse to get you a bikini. he loves how your body looks with little to no clothes and begs you to wear it.

would want to decapitate anyone that gives you any weird looks, even if it’s just to flirt but at the same time loves that he gets to show you off.

loves to rub sunscreen on you, specially on your legs and ass, he will spend a questionable amount of time while rubbing it on your booty. “just making sure it’s even” he says, you can clearly hear his little smirk.

spends more than 5 hours inside the water or goes on side quests without telling you and comes back with a collection of sea shells, rocks, sticks, bones, leafs or herbs he found for you, no in between

will like to stay till night comes, unless it’s a full moon, but will sit with you and tell you stories regarding his world, the moon and stories that his elders had taught him

will also stay to fuck you till he’s howling and you’re cumming under the stars <3

the nights will feel long because of how hot it is, so both of you just stay awake watching movies, talking in the porch or having friends over, specifically friends from his pack

when you go to bed, he’s always tossing and turning trying not to wake you up but to find a cooler spot.

will get sad if you find his body heat uncomfortable even if you’re already way too hot.

secretly loves when it’s too hot and your sweat mixes with his, the pheromonessssssss. will literally start sniffing you , licking your natural oils, and will obviously end up with his nose on your crotch and you’ll wake up by feeling his tongue licking and sucking on your underwear. “Shhh, just let me stay here, rest my precious one”

literally rotting in bed rn, it’s so hot and all I can think about is having a werewolf bf😿

[embrosegraves]

𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕊𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕫

Oscar Piastri x Horner!Reader Monaco, Canada and Spain oh my! Oscar decides to continue his quest for world domination (claiming home races) and prove that he's the best boyfriend his ex ever lost.

Warnings: my usual warnings apply :P (for the love Nicole Piastri, please pretend oscar's wearing an rbr suit. i beg)

⋆Ember's Notes⋆ I will try my best to get each chapter out on the weekend of the last race mentioned in the chapter. For example, this is being posted in time for the Spanish GP, and the next should be out in time for Silverstone as that will be the last GP mentioned in the next chapter.

series masterlist | previous part | next part

MonacoGP

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yn.horner He may be a silly goofy guy, but he's OUR silly goofy guy

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user5987 he? HE?

user4351 she gets one dog and somehow also brings home a whole ass MAN -> misshoney.lemon uhhhh Mum says I'm much more than JUST a dog. -> user4351 misshoney.lemon you're so right, that's mb

user2457 mum? w-what happened to dad? -> yn.horner yeah so turns out I can't physically date/marry Javi Gutierrez -> pascalispunk not with that attitude😉

danielricciardo right. what's all this then -> yn.horner yeah nah nah yeah. Nah nah but yeah y'know yeah nah. -> danielricciardo 😨 -> yn.horner two can play that game mf

oscarpiastri how much did you freak out when Pedro commented -> yn.horner freak out? me? i didn't freak out. -> pascalispunk not even a lil bit? 😓😓 -> yn.horner skhdajdag okay maybe i DID freak out -> pascalispunk yay 😁 -> oscarpiastri 😆😆

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redbullracing Picture this: 1. admin's new fit (shoutout to thatcrochetgirl 😘) 2. oscar laid eyes on his one true love 3. max doesn't know how to look naturally cool 4. the hairpin of all hairpins 5. car. 6. that moment when u share a podium w/ ur new dad and his weird spanish sidechick (shoutout to scuderiaferrari for the pic, rbr admin didn't get any 😓)

tagged: oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari

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user5598 Admin really said "yeah oscar got 2nd at monaco, but look at my clothes" -> yn.horner the girlies that get, get it

scuderiaferrari We got you girl 😘🫶 -> redbullracing actually the loml -> scuderiaferrari 🤭🤭 -> oscarpiastri ayo? 🤔 -> maxverstappen1 ayo? 🤔 (x2) -> charles_leclerc ayo? 🤔 (x3) -> carlossainz55 ayo? 🤔 (x4) -> redbullracing look away

user5487 not the redbull and ferrari admins falling in love while their drivers are at each others throats -> redbullracing don't let your drivers stop you from finding the love of your life -> user6842 redbullracing periodt 💅💅

CanadaGP

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oscarpiastri In between races 🤟

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user5827 Oscar soft launching before the mid season hit was definitely NOT on my bingo card -> user7593 but after the mid season was??? -> user5827 user7593 I had hope

yn.horner please tell me you're better at tennis than you were last year -> oscarpiastri yn.horner I'll have you know that my tennis skills have vastly improved 🙄🙄

danielricciardo her shoes look so painful 😬😬 -> oscarpiastri she has assured me they're a lot comfier than they look -> heidiberger where did she get them?? I need a pair rn -> oscarpiastri "I have an extra pair if she wants them." heidiberger -> heidiberger i love her

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SpainGP

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redbullracing is RBR making an instagram post of a twitter post? yes.

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oscarpisatri peak content really

user5987 RBR admin is iconic for this

maxverstappen1 "Flex on you with my youthful stride" 🤣🤣

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putting the taglist back on the main posts lmao

TAGLIST (closed)((i really hope everyone actually gets tagged, i'm this 🤏close to just getting rid of the taglist all together 🙃🙃))

@barnestatic @fionaschicken @fanficweasley @sltwins @storminacloud @halleest @formulaal @ems-alexandra @iloveyou3000morgan @christianpulisic10 @fangirl-dot-com @nikfigueiredo @yourbane @purplephantomwolf @eternalharry @cherry-piee @starssfall @33-81 @jpg3 @marie0v @d3kstar @applopie @aquangxl @eugene-emt-roe @woozarts @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @1-800-simpingcowbaby @marshmummy @landossainz @alwaysboredsworld @mellowarcadefun @dannyleclerc @lozzamez3 @spookystitchery @scarletwidow3000 @moldyshorts1997 @hiireadstuff @bearyyyy @evie-119 @hwalllllllelujah @nixily @generalnav @hdigditditdjgd @kqliie @lokideservesahug @littlegrapejuice @halfdeadsage @zzzhealy

[angrykittybarbarian]

A list of things that bother me about Dragon Age: The Veilguard Part 2

I already touched on a few things that caught my attention and personally irked me about the game. After getting through some more of it naturally a few more points have come up. Though I think they are not really new aspects but more concrete examples of what I had touched on last time.

Without further ado, let's get into it.

!Spoilers below the cut!

The dialogue is repetetive and at times contradictory

Like I already discussed last time the dialogue is bad, to express it in the simplest of terms. As I progressed through the game I stumbled upon a glaring example for what I mean.

In the questline where you infiltrate a Venatori meeting there is a part where Neve in disguise and in company of Rook and another companion gets a Venatori to admit that Elgar'nan was present but not Ghilan'nain. For some inexplicable reason Neve turns around and repeats this twice as if Rook wasn't present.

I stated in my last post that the game feels the need to state the obvious. This is what I mean. It makes the dialogue feel like a rough draft that was incorporated into the game without further polish.

As of its contradictory nature two examples come to mind.

In Harding's companion quest you meet this dwarf of Kal Sharok. His dialogue is stoic, no bullshit straight to the point and passionless. Which was fine. But after several minutes of him being that way they get to stone statue Valta who speaks in these misteryous riddles and suddenly he switches to this unserious tone of "Oh that weird statue, we never know what she's saying, ain't she funny." (I'm paraphrasing here). I was confused for half a minute because of his sudden change in attitude and left wondering what his characterization is supposed to be now: serious or quirky?

Same thing with Taash's whole story. This is especially upsetting because I feel like they could have done such great work with it.

Instead it suffers so much from several inconsistencies that I felt sorry for the VA because they actually did a great acting job.

Taash has a coming out scene with their mother where they reveal they're non-binary. Ignoring the usage of modern terms in a medieval-ish setting, the conflict about their gender makes no sense.

The writing wants you to believe Shathann is not okay with her child being non-binary but she never actually expresses such a thing. Actually Shathann sort of had an inkling that Taash was no ordinary woman ("Behaves more like a man...") and she never passed any negative judgement on it. When Taash told her this she even tried to understand by categorizing their identity into qunari vocabulary she knew (remember the term aqun-athlok?).

I get how hard it is to have an overly critical mother and the feeling of not being good enough but that was not what Shathann was about in that scene and it did Taash so dirty because they looked more like an entitled teenager than someone suffering from trauma and perfectionism.

But moving on.

Some old characters are mischaracterized

It's Scout Harding. I mean Harding.

I was really excited to have her as a companion in the new installment but they sort of butchered her character that I found myself annoyed everytime she opened her mouth.

And this is because they make her sound so immature. Really think about it. DATV somehow makes Scout Harding sound younger and more childish than she was in DAI despite the fact that she is supposed to be a whole decade older in DATV than in DAI.

I don't know what direction her VA recieved while recording but everything was pronounced so slowly and extra clear that it seemed at times that Harding was either talking to a confused elderly person or a child.

She herself uses expressions not fit for her age. The most jarring moment was when she called the Blight in D'meta's Crossing 'weird' and sounded like a teenager who has stumbled upon furry art for the first time on deviantArt. This pattern pretty much continues throughout the game. And it hurts so much.

Also Morrigan. She at least still uses her even for DA setting standards antiquated vocabulary but she is too happy and cheery and friendly.

Morrigan is not a nice person to those she does not know and like personally. But to Rook she was so nice despite having met them for the first time.

The Morrigan we have come to know love/hate should have been more snarky or at least more neutral in her demeanor.

The Venatori

I don't know why they are still a thing honestly. I was under the impression they have lost all footing after the death of Corypheus. Why would they follow the Gods of the people their country systemically abuses anyway?

Bonus: Why would the Antaam for that matter, as the qunari are so notoriously arcanophobic that they leash their mages, sew their mouths shut and literally call them "dangerous thing"?

Solas' spy network and agents

What happened to them? Where are they? Shouldn't he have a small army? Why weren't they used as the gods' agents instead of the Venatori? Surely, Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain would have an easier time simply controlling Fen'Harels elven army after imprisoning him in the fade.

The Chantry

It is just not present. Sure there are some Chantry buildings but there is no discussion of faith. In all previous DA games the Chantry has had a constant influence that could be felt everywhere. Faith was discussed and explored from various angles and perspectives, ranging from ultra conservative to progressive. But in Veilguard it's not there.

Why are we not exploring the Tevinter Chantry more? Why doesn't Emmrich discuss the nevarran Chantry, who follows the Sunburst Throne in Orlais, in regards to the Mournwatch, their necromancy practices and magic? Why was he not affected by the mage uprising that started in Kirkwall? How does he deal with faith and the Chantry? It is simply never mentioned.

By all accounts, this game avoids delving into the world like the plague.

Part 3

[embarrassingmf]

₊˚ෆ | old wishes | S.B (3)

SUMMARY: Ben decides to look some stuff up on Hughie’s laptop, finding how different certain videos are nowadays.

WORD COUNT: 900.

WARNINGS: not proofread, suggestive / 18+, mention of porn bc its ben and someone suggested this idea, use of Y/N, swearing.

A/N: SORRY FOR NOT POSTING, I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL OVER THE WEEKEND N I’VE BEEN SUPER BUSY W COLLEGE😣 new theme so that means new text color!

part one! | part two! | part four!

After wrapping up a mission with Butcher and everyone else, you tiredly trudged into the little office hideout.

You made a beeline for the worn out couch sitting by a big window overviewing the city, plopping down onto it with a weary sigh.

Leaning your head back and closing your eyes, it didn’t even take a minute until someone ran up to you.

“Y/N! You gotta help me-“ Hughie said in a worried tone.

You lifted your head to meet his gaze, and he must’ve seen your annoyance because he mumbled an apology.

“What is it?” You questioned with a grumble.

“It’s Ben.” Hughie said simply. “He stole my computer to uh, ‘research some stuff’ as he said.”

You scoffed, waving a hand dimissively to brush him off. “He’s probably tryin’ to figure out how your laptop works more.”

“I would think that too!” He quickly defended.

“If I didn’t hear noises coming from his room later…” Hughie added as an afterthought.

That got your attention, and you immediately shot up.

“What?! He stole your laptop to look that shit up?!” You exclaimed, immediately knowing what Ben was talking about.

Hughie nodded, “yeah. So I was wondering if you could get my—“

He didn’t even have time to finish his sentence before you got up from the couch and stormed off to Ben’s room.

—————————————————————————

You prepared yourself for the sight of Ben possibly getting himself off while watching some porn video he had found on the web when you barged into his room.

…but you didn’t find that.

You found Ben leaned back against the headboard of his rather tiny twin size bed that barely fit him, an irritated expression on his face.

“Ben. What are you doing?” He immediately perked up hearing your voice at his doorway, his eyebrows raising.

“Oh thank fuck you’re here. I need someone to complain to. C’mere.” Ben motioned to the side of the bed, and you reluctantly walked over to be greeted by the sight of two people going at it like animals.

“I mean, I knew porn changed over the years, but I didn’t think it changed this much.” Ben complained with a groan, gesturing to the screen.

You uncomfortably nodded, looking back at Ben.

“Why don’t you give this back to Hughie? He needs it.” You reached out for the laptop, but Ben snatched it away.

“Hell no. Not ‘till I’m done complaining.”

You sighed, shoulders sagging as you knew you wouldn’t be able to convince him. You snapped a hand in his direction in gesture for him to go on with his ranting.

“First off, this girl is moaning so fuckin’ loud. Back then, the moans were natural, y’know what I’m saying?” Ben flashed you a cheek smirk.

“And these things they’re doing are weird as hell. I’ve seen this one guy spit into the other girls mouth.” Ben huffed.

“It was kinda hot,” He added. “But still weird as hell!”

You shook your head, rolling your eyes. “Okay I get it, now can I bring Hughie his laptop back?”

“Nope! Not until I find a good one.” Ben chuckled as he returned to the homepage of the site and started scrolling.

“Ben—“ You tried to protest, but Ben held up a finger to shut you up; which worked, pathetic as it sounds.

—————————————————————————

You awkwardly sat in some chair you pulled up next to Ben while he watched a few videos before making a comment about how bad or weird they were before continuing on his quest for a good video.

Within those minutes, you tried to convince Ben to give you the laptop so you could return it to its rightful owner; all which fell on deaf ears.

It wasn’t until you got an idea — a slightly evil idea — that you started to lose hope.

Said idea was to lie to Ben and tell him that if he continued to use that site, that he’d give Hughie’s laptop a virus and it wouldn’t be able to be used anymore.

“Hey, Ben.” You said, easily getting his attention.

“I think you should really get off that site, you might give his laptop a virus.”

“A virus?” Ben tilted his head to the side like some cat or dog. “Like it’ll get sick?”

“No, Ben.” You sighed at his obliviousness. “Like Hughie won’t be able to use it anymore.”

Ben’s face fell.

“You mean I won’t be able to look stuff up on that bitch’s computer?” He asked incredulously.

You shook your head, holding back a laugh at his shock.

“Nope. You can’t use Hughie’s computer anymore if that happens.”

Ben scoffed, as if the idea was stupid, and closed the tab before handing the laptop to you.

You grabbed the laptop and watched him cross his arms, chuckling under your breath.

“Well I’m gonna go give this back to Hughie, okay?” Ben nodded.

You quickly walked out and located Hughie, holding out the laptop for him.

“Thanks, Y/N! but how did you get him to give it up?” Hughie couldn’t help but be curious.

“I may or may not have told a little white lie about how you’d get a virus on your computer and it’d be unuseable in the future.” You explained with a grin.

Hughie let out a laugh, shaking his head. “And I’m guessing he didn’t even get suspicious about it?”

“Nope.”

—————————————————————————

feedback n reblogs r appreciated! :3

[dreamdragonkadia]

Christmas in New York, Christmas in ne- p. jackson x reader

Had this been your goal? No. But were you complaining? Absolutely not.

There was something undeniably magical about celebrating Christmas in New York—especially with Percy and his family. The city was always alive this time of year, its chaotic energy softened by snow-covered streets and glittering lights. Even the subway, usually filled with cranky commuters, seemed to carry a little extra cheer, or maybe that was just the hot chocolate in your hands and Percy’s arm around your shoulders.

Of course, your own mortal family hadn’t been thrilled when you told them you wouldn’t be home for Christmas again this year. Disappointed? Yes. But you’d made a deal with them years ago: Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July were theirs, and Christmas and New Year’s belonged to Percy and his family. Honestly, it was a pretty fair arrangement considering how hectic things could get in the demigod world. The monsters never took holidays off, after all, and neither did you or Percy.

Still, you felt a little guilty about missing the classic chaos of your family Christmas—your little cousins screaming about Santa’s arrival, your grandmother burning something in the oven while swearing under her breath, and your mom insisting you take enough leftovers to feed an army. That guilt had been softened somewhat, though, when Sally and Paul dropped their bombshell:

“We’ve been thinking about moving to the West Coast,” Sally had announced over dinner one night, smiling like she knew exactly how much drama she was about to cause.

The words had hung in the air for a moment, heavy with implications. You and Percy had frozen mid-bite, twin forks hovering like awkward statues.

“Wait, what?” Percy had spluttered.

“To be closer to you two,” Paul explained calmly, like it was the most natural thing in the world. “It just makes sense, especially after the engagement.”

You still got butterflies thinking about it—the engagement. Even the word felt surreal. It hadn’t been that long ago that you’d been fighting for your lives on quests together, and now you were planning forever. Sally had cried when Percy told her, wrapping you both in hugs so tight you thought you’d never escape.

Now, here you were, bundled up against the cold as you stood with Percy on the balcony of his mom’s apartment. The skyline stretched before you, lights twinkling like little frozen stars. Somewhere down the street, someone was playing a slightly off-key version of “Jingle Bells” on a trumpet, and Percy was grinning like he could feel the joy in the air.

“The only negative to it would be no more this,” you said softly, blowing out a long breath just to watch it turn to mist in the cold air.

Percy turned to look at you, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie. “No more what?”

You gestured vaguely toward the city, your face half-hidden behind your scarf. “The noise. The lights. The people yelling at cab drivers. It’s kind of our thing, you know? New York at Christmas.”

He chuckled, stepping closer until he could press a kiss to your temple. “I’m pretty sure cab drivers yell year-round. Not just at Christmas.”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at your lips. “You know what I mean.”

He nodded, gaze flicking out to the skyline. “Yeah, I do. It’s weird to think about Mom and Paul moving out there. Feels like the end of an era or something.”

“Almost,” you teased. “But hey, they’d be close enough for both families to celebrate together. Think about it—my mom’s turkey and your mom’s blue cookies in one place. Worlds colliding.”

Percy laughed, the sound warming you more than any amount of layers could. “You mean my mom would finally have an excuse to out-bake your mom. She’s been planning that showdown for years.”

“That’s just because you hype her up too much,” you said, nudging his shoulder playfully.

“It’s not hype if it’s true.”

You rolled your eyes again, but this time Percy caught your hand, tugging you closer until you could feel the rise and fall of his chest against your back. You leaned into him instinctively, savoring the quiet moment between the two of you. The city was loud, but somehow it always felt quieter when you were with him.

“You know,” Percy murmured after a beat, his voice soft, “it wouldn’t really matter where we were. Whether it’s New York or the West Coast or—who knows—Mount Olympus someday, as long as you’re there…”

You tilted your head back to look at him, brow raised. “Mount Olympus? Really?”

He grinned, sheepish. “Okay, maybe not Olympus. But you get what I mean.”

And you did. Because no matter where you ended up—whether surrounded by skyscrapers or staring out at the Pacific Ocean—you’d be home, as long as Percy was by your side.

You squeezed his hand in yours and looked back out at the city. Somewhere below, a group of kids was laughing and chasing each other, their shouts echoing up to you. Snow had started to fall again, tiny flecks catching in Percy’s hair, and you couldn’t resist reaching up to brush a few away.

“Let’s make the most of it while we’re here, then,” you said softly. “One more New York Christmas, just in case.”

Percy smiled, leaning down to kiss you gently. “Deal.”

Everything was perfect—the snow, the city, the warmth of Percy’s arms around you. Maybe you hadn’t planned for any of this, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

[autumnbrambleagain]

everyone jokes about how they'd be different if they were a vampire wizard immortal they wouldn't lose track of mortal life they'd be So Normal About It but in playing a single morrowind save for like a year now with a ton of mods im experiencing the strange growth of my characterization in it from powerless outsider with no home to wizard to becoming increasingly strange to maintain power and like

okay see i can just. you can't teleport infinitely but my alteration and vampire Jumps are so good i can just literally launch off and land anywhere in the world. space no longer matters to me. a 10 minute walk is now a 10 second jump.

vampirism means i'm immune to normal weapons and my stats are so dang high i can just stand there and even with MDMD and the 4nm PVP mod most things can't really hit me or hurt me and i have 100 ways to kill anything at will. i have so many limiting mods on to keep me from going Broken but i still have destruction 130 strength 140 stealth 150 and like it took me like a real life year of playing on and off to get that far so it feels Earned and there was a real sense of progression (excluding the vampire boost jump) but it's made me Strange power makes you Weird

and having such absolutely drunken insane power over mortal life really fucks with me doing the main quest for the first time in a decade where like

the erabenimsum are like "you'll... have to kill the warlike leaders of our tribe. we warn you they are very powerful" and i'm just like. what. you guys were my neighbors for a year at this point i could have just killed a bunch of you and changed your society in 30 seconds and you'd have let me yeah ok. hold on. brb. and i just kind of pop in and explode everyone and come back like yeah that was easy no worries.

and like i started this game deeply immersed, like taking everything slow eating different foods every day to satisfy my ashfall meters doing paintings of places i liked hanging out fishing and now i'm just this vampire Force of Will teleporting and flying and destroying things with a black-eyed glance and i'm playing with doors of oblivion and finding there is such a Bigger World out there like

i think the actual natural progression of this character is complete disassociation with the world and graduation from like ALL of this this fucker is piercing the Aurbis and just Leaving which you know is like

a distressingly resonant thematic with my own experiences and that i am playing this character as my 1:1 self insert like haha yeahthat. that. that hits a lot closer to home than i wanted it to. as above so below no matter how many onion layers huh.

[herdarkestnightelegance]

"Careful, I Bite"

My First - Part 1/3

Pairing: Astarion/ AFAB!Tav (you)

Warnings/tags: 18+, virginity, vulnerability, sexual tension, mature conversations and flirting, vaginal masturbation, explicit sexual fantasies (PiV), Act 1 spoilers

Length: ~ 5.5k words (they just keep getting longer, don’t they?)

Summary: Unable to resist his charms, you grow close with your handome, vampiric travel companion. Very close. The thing is just ... you've never been with anyone before ...

A/N: It's happening! My first venture into 🌶️ territory! Please know: No PHD thesis ever had this much lively back and forth and discussion as this fic! Thank you @nyx-knox for being the GOAT of beta-readers on what is basically group-project at his point and for your constant support and reassurance 🩷

Taglist: @wilteddreamsofbaldursgate , @littlelovelore, @onlyancunin @chaoticbardlady99 @ancuninfiles

:::::::

You have never felt this weird kind of nervousness before. 

It’s not the kind of suspense you feel before entering a dungeon full of goblins. It’s not the kind of pressure you feel when the eyes of your companions turn to you, awaiting a decision. No. This is a different, unfamiliar kind of stimulation to your nerves. It’s warm, yet tingly, it’s at the back of your mind constantly, making you smile one moment, then shake your head the next trying to escape the feeling. You find it increasingly difficult to think of anything else, even now while you are sitting on a log, warming yourself on your camp’s little fire. This has been going on for a few days now. And it’s entirely Astarion’s fault.

Astarion. The charming, flirty and admirably witty Vampire you’ve found yourself increasingly drawn to more and more with each passing day.

If you’re being honest … you kinda hated him when you first met. Headbutting him in the face was less than what he deserved for putting a knife to your throat! But you quickly understood that he was simply being cautious, scared, just as you’ve all been.

Everyone had been on edge the entire time as you tackled a whole cascade of challenges on your ongoing quest to find a cure: stopping druid rituals, fighting hags and harpies, vanquishing a whole camp of goblins. But throughout all of those adventures, you had noticed Astarion slowly gravitating towards you, closer and closer. And you found that you, too, were gravitating towards him. Which scared the absolute shit out of you.

When you woke up with his handsome face so close to yours that one night, you almost jumped out of your skin. His cool body hovering over yours, his breath on your neck … it immediately sent your mind - and your body - into overdrive.

Honestly? When you learned he was a vampire and that he was simply trying to drink your blood, you were almost relieved. Or … were you disappointed? You couldn’t tell. Because what you thought was going on for a split second was that Astarion - strange, intriguing Astarion - was actually trying to kiss you. And you didn’t entirely hate that thought? Right on the contrary! 

The thing was just that, well, you have never actually been kissed by anyone before.

While you were no stranger to pleasure, knowing full well how to take excellent care of yourself, you have never been in this position. With another person this close to you while you lay on your back. So many things raced through your mind when that admittedly devastatingly beautiful man knelt so close to you. You wanted to slide out from under him as quickly as you could. You wanted to slap him for not asking to kiss you first. And you also wanted him to pin you down on your bedroll and succeed in stealing that kiss from you. So badly. 

That thought was pushed to the side, though, when he revealed his vampiric nature to you. For the first time since you met on that beach, you felt like you were glimpsing a bit of him, the real him beneath that debonair facade. And you liked that he was confiding in you specifically. Those ruby eyes pleading for your help, his urgent voice trying to explain his situation, and his disarming charm, asking if you could trust him just a little further. Even though you were angry that he didn’t ask before he tried biting you, you knew you would have said yes if he had. And then …

“Let’s make ourselves comfortable, shall we?”

Your heart was racing a thousand beats an hour when you laid down back on your bedroll. You felt your cheeks flush, mixed with a tingling, cool nervous sensation on your skin. When Astarion leaned over you once more, one arm on each side of your head, you caught your breath. This felt so intimidating … so intimate. You felt exposed, excited, nervous, scared. And you wanted this. This was so unlike you. It was far more usual for you to be refusing the physical advances of others. But you didn’t want to refuse him. In fact, for the first time, you felt the exact opposite of your usual inclination. You wanted to allow him closer.

Astarion took up your entire field of vision, or at least it felt like all you could see was him. The way he held your gaze steadily made it impossible to look anywhere else. He had a soft, reassuring and thankful smile on his lips … and next thing you knew his fangs were piercing your skin. 

It hurt. At least for a moment. Your mind was racing, trying to take all of this in, all these new sensations: The ice-cold feeling of his fangs inside you, his body on top of yours, his cool lips touching and sucking on your warm skin, his increasingly heavy breathing so close to your ear, the pain … and the pleasure. 

When you felt him gently cupping the back of your head, you were about ready to actually kiss him. Feeling pressure building in your core, your legs began pressing together of their own volition, causing little jolts of lust to course through you as you felt a familiar heat rising between your thighs. You desperately wanted to wrap your arms around him, to sink your fingers into those beautiful white curls of his, give in to that delicious pain, wanting him to do more, to go further.

But instead you felt your head go woozy, snapping you out of your thoughts. No, this was too much. So you told him to stop, pushed him away gently yet firmly. You were panting, and so was he. He looked so radiant at that moment, so strong. It made you forget the pain in your neck, the way the world spun around you. He looked so happy, and you did that for him.

When Astarion turned around to leave, he stopped and thanked you, telling you he wouldn’t forget this gift you have given him. And you knew, neither would you. How in the Hells were you supposed to sleep now? After that? After you felt the weight of his body on yours, felt his soft lips on your skin, after being so close you smelled the slight perfume of … something herbal and citrusy? Gods!

You laid back down on your bedroll and for at least an hour you couldn’t sleep, your companions breathing calmly around you, unaware of what had happened. All you could think about was the image of Astarion, that little smile right before he bit into your neck, his hand caressing the back of your hair ever so slightly… 

You let out a sharp breath, feeling the slickness between your thighs. Might as well ... 

You unlaced the front of your trousers, looking around to your sleeping companions, who mercifully had either their backs turned or at least their heads facing away from you. You would just have to get this over with quickly. Biting your lips, you made yourself comfortable once more. 

Practiced fingers slid below the fabric and to the folds between your legs, finding them already wet and ready for some much-needed attention. You closed your eyes and sighed as you began touching yourself, massaging your clit as you had done many times before. The thing that was new, though, was the image in your mind: 

Ruby eyes piercing into yours with a desire so fierce it almost takes your breath away. You're lying naked next to the fire, a pale, equally naked, slender body between your open legs. And then the feeling of fangs penetrating your skin as Astarion’s cock penetrates you. A delighted smile flickered across your lips, both in your dream and in real life. “Look at you, my sweet Darling.” Astarion’s voice purrs into your ear, as he thrusts himself all the way into you, stretching you deliciously. “You are taking me so well.” Slowly he begins to roll his hips, knowing how to move just the way you want it, his thrusts quickly growing faster.

The pace of your own fingers grew faster alongside your fantasies, as you imagined what it would be like having him inside you, fucking you, filling you completely. A little whimper escaped your lips, it was hard to stay silent with your imagination running wild. 

“Gods, you’re so tight, my love,” he says as he spreads your legs even further, exposing you, watching your juices run down the inside of your thighs, angling himself perfectly to be able to fuck you even deeper, harder, more. He wants you, just as you want him. It’s almost too much, your inexperienced body barely able to handle his expert movements. And you feel the familiar coil tightening inside you. “Astarion …” you whisper, desperately holding on to his soft white curls.

“Yes, my love?”, he asks, kissing the small wounds he’s made on your neck.

“Cum … cum inside me ... please,” you beg between his hard thrusts, as you feel yourself edging towards your climax. And just as the both of you come undone in unison, and you feel him unloading his thick seed inside of you, he bites down on your neck once more, causing you to moan out his name - and it’s music to the pale Elf’s pointy ears.

Unable to stop it, a little moan escaped you in the real world as well. Slapping your free hand over your mouth, you are pretty sure it really was his name that escaped your lips into the silent night around you. But the surprise at your own sound was swept away by the waves of your orgasm as it rolled through you, causing your hips to quiver a few times, before your breath began to calm, and you fell into relaxed bliss. 

You pulled your hand free from your pants and wiped it on the grass next to your bedroll, feeling a lot more relaxed. Wouldn’t that be something, you thought as you lay down on your side. Actually getting closer to the mysterious vampire, getting to know the person you glimpsed a bit of today. Closing your eyes, you thought that, yes, you would really like that. 

Oh no. You felt your stomach drop in surprise and your eyes shot open in realization. You wanted to get to know the real him? You wanted to get closer to him? You wanted to be more… intimate with him? It was then that it dawned on you… you were slowly but surely starting to fall for the disarming vampire. 

Fuck.

:::::::

His blood was just starting to slow from his hunt, but his vampiric senses were still alert, sharper than usual. So Astarion’s pointed ears heard it before he even reached the camp. The rustling of the bedroll, the rapid breathing, the suppressed whimpers. Somebody was having a bit of fun.

Making sure to stay concealed by the darkness of the treeline, he looked towards the figures lying by the fire. Oh? Not wanting to disturb the vision before him, he stopped moving. Had anyone looked in his direction, they would have seen his eyes reflecting the soft light of the camp-fire like two tiny round mirrors. What do we have here? His ruby eyes locked onto Tav as they tried to keep their pleasured movement on the bedroll to a minimum. What a delicious sight that was. 

Astarion had known Tav had gotten quite attached to him, most likely falling for his wit and charm - and obviously his looks - as most did. Otherwise, why would they have allowed him to drink from them? And it was amazing, drinking from them, too. Astarion licked his lips at the memory. Tasting the blood of a thinking being, tasting them. It had been … so intimate. Better than he had ever imagined. He usually only pretended to enjoy the closeness of other people. But not Tav. He couldn’t have picked a better person to be his first.

Frankly, he even enjoyed their company, such as it was. And he knew they enjoyed his company as well. But this? This was a display he hadn’t anticipated. At least not yet.

Shaking his head ever so slightly in disbelief, Astarion was almost impressed by the bold endeavor: Tav, pleasuring themselves out in the open by the campfire? Sure, everyone was asleep, but anyone could awaken any moment from their little moans and catch those fingers dancing amongst their folds. If Tav was this desperate to release their need for him after he’d fed from them earlier in the night, they must desperately want him. A scheming grin grew on his face as he realized… This could work.

He was sure the others in the camp would know about his condition by morning. And knowing full well that people don’t trust vampires - perhaps understandably - he needed to be sure Tav was on his side. Tav was their fearless leader and fierce protector. They may have unwillingly slipped into that role, but they had sway with and the trust of everyone in camp, including him if he was being honest. If Tav kept him under their wing… he wouldn’t get flocked or kicked out. He’d be the first one protected, heard out in every conversation, involved in every plan the group made, and therefore… powerful by association. Safe.

All it would take would be what he had done for 200 years already: some casual seduction and an offer for one night of mind-blowing ecstasy to lock himself into that kind of ideal position. 

Tav’s breathing grew faster then, the smell of their arousal and pumping blood slowly beginning to fill Astarion’s head, breaking his concentration for a moment, his attention now fully on the show in front of him. It was then, as Tav climaxed, trying to suppress a moan, that Astarion heard it. Clear as day. Between the whimpering and exhalation: His name, cried from their lips.

And just like that… Astarion had laid out his nice, simple plan. Oh this would be easy.

:::::::

The next morning you could barely bring yourself to look him in the eye. He was your - almost - innocent traveling companion, and you had thought of him for your dirty little fantasy. You knew this was going to drive you crazy! So you promised yourself you would stop this, trying to cushion the fall as you were definitely falling for him. But when Astarion asked you how you’ve been feeling after the bite, with his trademark smile and his charming words, your nice, simple plan fell apart instantly when you heard yourself offer your neck to him again for tonight. As he happily accepted, your heart leapt in your chest.

Things only progressed from there. Between your party’s adventures, the fighting, tending to each other's wounds, laughing with (and sometimes about) Gale, and watching Shadowheart and Lae’zel bickering with each other, you and Astarion … connected. As you began to share your stories, laugh more at each other’s quippy jokes, indulge in witty banter with every conversation that sparked between you two, you started to see more of that man that you had glimpsed that night he first bit you. Beneath the well-crafted, snarky, and charismatic facade was someone who had endured horrors you couldn’t even imagine. Beneath his undeniably stunning looks, you saw the whole picture - the flawed, broken, resilient, complex person that he was. You began caring for him so deeply, more and more each day. You were falling for him… oh, you were falling for him hard.

Many nights you spent taking care of the desire that Astarion had been fueling inside of you. It was almost embarrassing how much you were pining for him, each night in your bedroll by the fire or in your tent, where you so often wound up with shaky legs and wet fingers. You imagined his hands were the ones roaming over your body, knowing every sensitive spot, his fingers sliding inside you, curling just right, making you gasp and shiver with pleasure. And his voice in your ear, whispering all the filthy things he wants to do to you, will do to you. He was inside your head, and you truly began to yearn for him to be inside your body, too.

Oh, how your body reacted to him whenever he was close and Gods, you really hoped he could not sense it. When he chose to sit next to you by the fire, even though there was plenty of space elsewhere, you imagined his hand sliding around your neck to pull you into a deep, passionate kiss. When he would pick pieces of foliage - or goblin guts - from your hair or stand so very close to you while helping you into your armor, you imagined him pulling you behind the closest tree and taking you right there and then. And the fact that he was so openly, outrageously flirtatious with you, and only you, saying all the right things at the right time, didn’t help either. It drove you crazy with confusion, with adoration and with desire.

So when a celebration was in order after your party had succeeded in vanquishing the entirety of the goblin camp and its leaders, you found yourself sauntering over to Astarion’s tent. You were nervous, more so than ever, but there was a strange confidence roaring within you. With spirits so high, the blood still running hot from today’s victory, you felt this might be the night. You wanted it to be. And you wanted it to be with Astarion.

You were sipping from his wine bottle to calm your nerves, when he actually, finally, suggested that the two of you could make your own entertainment. It was like the surrounding music faded away, replaced by the sound of your blood pumping in your ears. The honeyed words from Astarion’s beautiful lips promised you things that made your knees weak.This was what you wanted, what you had been waiting for.

So … you agreed. 

Part of you even appreciated that he made it clear where the both of you stood at all times. He told you that he liked you, that he came to enjoy the whole package, assured you that if you wanted to - and you did - the two of you could lose yourself in your own little piece of nowhere. But he never promised it would be a committed arrangement. And honestly, with the tadpole inside your head, the descent into the Underdark before you and with the whole party looking to you as their leader, you kind of appreciated that there were no strings attached.

When you found yourself walking through the trees and brush towards the clearing after everyone had gone to bed, you felt equal parts excited and nervous. Yes, you wanted to do this, you wanted for your first time to be with Astarion, but that didn’t mean you weren’t scared as all Hells. From everything he’d told you, from the way he came on to you, there was no question as to how experienced he was and what he expected to happen tonight. “And I do mean sex, to be clear. We’ve waited long enough.” And that you had indeed. You’d waited long to find a man you felt this good with, this close and attracted to. 

So when you stepped into the clearing and Astarion came out from behind the tree trunk bare chested in only his breeches, your mouth ran dry at the sight of him. Gods, he was the most beautiful person you have ever seen.

“There you are…”, he said, and your whole body trembled at the sultry sound of his voice. You could see it already - lying on the soft grass beneath him, under the stars, allowing him to kiss you, touch you, trusting him to take you places you’ve only ever been in your wildest fantasies. “I’ve been waiting…”, he continued. “...Waiting, since the moment I set eyes on you. Waiting to have you.” 

His voice was so deep and sensual - but suddenly the nervousness in the back of your mind began to overwhelm you. Had he? Had he really been waiting for you? Your already pounding heart began skipping a few beats at a time, fluttering at the thought. What if … you disappointed him? What if he left this clearing tonight feeling as though the wait hadn’t been worth it?

And just like that, you were not so sure about this anymore. Oh no.

You couldn’t do this, could you? Look at him! He’s beautiful! Were you beautiful enough for him? Why was he even looking into your direction with Shadowheart and Wyll around? You’re absolutely no match for them. And he clearly knows what he’s doing and what he’s expecting is likely far more than you can give. What in the Hells could you possibly offer him? What if he didn’t like being with a novice like you? What if he didn’t like what he saw when you lay naked in front of him? Gods, you wanted him! But how much fun and pleasure would you be able to realistically provide for him, really? After all, you had no idea what to do, you have never even kissed anyone before!

You looked up into those ruby eyes, looking for reassurance, for safety, and found them… painfully devoid of that spark you came to love. You froze. His beautiful words suddenly felt so flat, calculated, and practiced. You didn’t know if it was your sudden wave of nerves preventing you from going through with this, but you knew then at that moment… this wasn’t right. No, he didn’t truly want this.

“Hold on - I’m not sure about this,” you quickly said. That seemed to bring Astarion back to you - but not in the way you would have liked.

“Then what are you doing here?” Astarion’s surprising shift in demeanor caught you off guard. You took a step back, not expecting him to talk to you in that tone. His voice almost sounded condescending, indignant. Just like that, your walls that the vampire had managed to take down brick by brick over the past weeks began rising back up again. “I thought we had an … understanding.” You took another step back when Astarion’s whole posture changed, going from seductive to dismissive. As if, now that he couldn’t have you, he had no use for you anymore and by doing so he tapped straight into your biggest worry with pinpoint precision. You felt the impossible urge to explain, to salvage whatever tonight would have been.

 “I-I know, I’m sorry …”, you stammered helplessly. “It’s just… Do you really want to do this?” Astarion tilted his head, his frown deepening. 

“Now why would you think I didn’t, after all this?” He sounded irritated as he flung his arms wide, gesturing to nothing in particular.

“I don’t know. Maybe you feel like you have to do this? Like - as payback for me letting you drink from me? Because I promise, you don’t have to, I don’t need anything in return.” 

Astarion crossed his arms and cocked his hip, sneering down at you.

“Listen, just say the word and we can call it a night.” You were desperately looking for the right words, only for Astarion to speak before you could say anything. “But if you want to back out, don’t use me as an excuse for it. You’ve wasted enough of my time already.” 

His words felt like a slap in the face.

“I’m just not sure if I can give you what you are expecting, what you want.” Gods, you hated how desperate your voice sounded.

“But why? What exactly is your problem?”Astarion kept pushing and something inside you snapped.

“Because I’ve never DONE any of this before, alright?!”

The words exploded right out of you. The amount of emotions you were feeling at that moment was overwhelming: anger at him, disappointment in yourself, sadness about how this night suddenly took such a turn. You stared at him, breathing hard, your cheeks flushing. Neither of you spoke, Astarion only looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face. 

“I… I am going back to camp,” you eventually said before finally forcing yourself to turn and leave. 

Gods.

This had been a disaster. This was not how this should have gone! This should have been a night - your first night - of passion, exploration and fun with this Elf you truly cared for - and who now was most certainly angry and annoyed with you for ruining his night. Did you overthink it? Should you have just gone through with it? What if whatever you and Astarion had built over the course of these last few weeks was now shattered beyond repair? How could you have pushed him away in a moment that should have been so pleasurable, so intimate? 

Getting sleep was not easy that night. And the next day, you and Astarion didn’t exchange a single word. You knew your companions noticed. They knew something was going on between the two of you - but they were kind enough to let the matter rest and not ask you about it as you packed up your belongings and headed towards the empty Goblin Camp to enter the Underdark. With all enemies already vanquished, the day was uneventful, which made the silence between you and the vampire seem even more deafening.

:::::::

How, how could he have missed that? Astarion couldn’t get that question out of his head.

It was the one question that had been whirling around in his head all day while the party had continued towards the Underdark, tensely ignoring the silence between him and Tav, who usually were bantering lightheartedly all the time. 

Astarion watched them as they suggested setting up the camp for the night, the last night under the open sky for who knew how long.

How had he not picked up on Tav’s inexperience? He normally could smell a virgin from miles away! He knew the shy looks, the aversion to touch and his advances. But Tav? They threw him for such a loop! They gravitated towards him. And honestly … he liked that.

Besides, he figured virgins didn’t understand pleasure, didn’t know how to pleasure themselves. But Tav obviously did! He had heard them moan his name, seen proof of their knowledge of their own body with his own eye. But most importantly: proof of their desire for him.

Astarion’s mind whirled as he paced in his tent. Why did they have to tell him that? 

It should have been so easy. It should have been a plain-and-simple, routine night of sex and pleasure for Tav. But now they had to throw him that little piece of information about themselves and… Astarion stopped pacing. He’d sworn off virgins long ago. That kind of innocence, it was too rare in the world. And after stealing it once from that sweet, darling boy… he’d sworn he’d never steal it from anyone else ever again. So he had learned to recognize and avoid virgins. His meager, unnoticeable act of disobedience to his former Master. It was the only thing he was proud of - if he could even call it that. 

And, gods, the things he threw in Tav’s face? Shaming them for hesitating? What the fuck was he thinking? Their fierce leader, who stormed into a hag’s swamp with no hesitation, had hesitated before him. And instead of guiding them … he had scolded them, even humiliated them. Astarion felt ashamed of himself - something he had never wanted to feel again, now that he was free. But he felt it nonetheless. He had to apologize. It didn’t matter that he snapped at them in frustration because he saw his plan crumble, because he was scared, because he was … disappointed. If he was honest with himself.

Because he was. He was disappointed that Tav wanted to back out. The realization hit him with a force he did not see coming. Yes, seducing them was part of his plan. Yes, he had used all his favorite lines at them. And also … yes, he would have liked to sleep with them. A feeling he had not felt in … gods know how long.

Tav had been so nervous, their heart beating so quickly and loudly Astarion had heard it before they had stepped onto the clearing. They were opening up to him. Trusting him. And he? He would have taken that trust and used it. He truly was a monster. Tav didn’t deserve this. Despite how last night went … he cared for them. His eyebrows flew up as he realized just how true that thought was.

He cared for them.

Shit.

:::::::

You sit by the fire, pondering last night’s fiasco and today’s unpleasant silence. Seeing how you’ve got the second watch, you should probably be more vigilant, but your thoughts keep going back to last night. Which is probably why you don’t hear Astarion approach.

“Hello, my dear.”, he says in a low, almost careful tone, pulling you from your thoughts. You look up at him, not sure what to expect. “Do you mind if I sit?” He motions towards the log you are sitting on, toward the place beside you that he took many nights. Always choosing to be close to you instead of choosing any of the free logs. You shift to the side, making room for him. Again, feeling him so close to you, his arm brushing yours, it sets your whole body on high alert. You still want him - but you aren’t so sure he really wants you anymore, or if you’re ready to forget the way he spoke to you. But regardless of the horrid tone he had taken you still feel that guilt and shame for letting him down.

“I’m… sorry about last night.”, you eventually say, even though part of you wants to wait for him to apologize first. He turns to face you.

“Whatever are you sorry for?” he asks, a bit surprised.

“For backing out last night. I know we had an agreement and it’s not that I didn’t want to, you know? It’s just … ” with a deep sigh you turn your eyes towards him, and you are glad to see that spark in them once again, that spark that was missing last night. “I’ll be honest, ok? I like you. I like you a lot, and … I would have loved to have spent last night with you. But … I also know I don't have much to offer you, in terms of sex. We’ve all been under a lot of stress lately, so I understand you probably wanted to let off some steam … and I’m sorry I messed that up for you.” Cheeks burning with embarrassment, you turn your gaze back to the fire. You sit in silence for a moment before Astarion speaks. 

“No. You have no reason to apologize for anything, my dear. I was quite out of line, inexcusably so. I should have relented the moment you had any doubt. I… apologize.” His words make you look towards him once more. Never had you heard Astarion apologize before, to anyone at camp, for that matter. “And I will do my best to refrain from feeding into this … thing between us, if it truly makes you uncomfortable. I will cease my flirtations, I promise.”

“What? No, please don’t?” you say quickly, unable to stop a shy smile from appearing on your face. “I … quite like your flirtations. And I wanted to spend the night with you, you know. I still do. But … let me ask you … ” The pale Elf patiently waits for you to find the right words. “Do you really want to sleep with me?” Astarion’s eyebrows go up, that surprised expression returning to his exquisite face. 

“Darling,” Astarion’s tone is affectionate, reassuring, and hearing him call you this pet name with that sweet voice of his makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. “Are you really asking me that, after all I did? All I’ve said to you?” There is a slight edge to his voice now, though you can’t pinpoint what it is. He smiles at you with one corner of his mouth raised slightly and you half expect him to laugh, but Astarion falls uncharacteristically quiet, so you speak.

“Answer the question.” The amused smile on Astarion’s immaculate face disappears and gives way to a look of seriousness, of sincerity.

“Yes. I do,” he says in a low but firm voice. “Very much so.”

Relief floods your entire body, the tension you felt all day melting from you.

“Then … may we start over?”, you ask timidly with a smile on your face. Astarion answers with a gentle smile of his own.

“My dear. There is nothing I’d like more.”

[txttletale]

what are some things you like about fnv?

so much! i like the character writing, i think every companion is well-written and compelling--i like the extremely tight and overarching but (mostly) unforced focus on theme. 'let go, begin again' gets said verbatim maybe a bit too much in dead money but it's also the theme of all the other DLC and every individual companion quest and the most popular of the four main story paths and i think that kind of broad coherence really shines. i love the quest and world design, i love how many different skills will pop up in conversation because it lets you genuinely roleplay, getting the option to e.g. tell dog the cage must be locked from the inside or bypass difficult combat encounters because you have a high lockpicking skill makes you feel like your character is an expert lockpicker in a way that just being able to get optional loot sometimes just doesn't--i love how you will be directed to important or interesting locations from multiple quests, how all these places interconnect.

and i also deeply love how fnv's world is a world of history and people, not of facts and lore. you can kill caesar and kimball and their factions don't just explode without them--and you will hear multiple, contradictory takes from people in the world about how those deaths will impact those factions. if you kill caesar, house says it won't matter at all, boone says he has successors, ulysses and some NCR guys say it'll collapse the legion, and you never really get to know for sure. and so much about the world is like this, stuff you can get endless perspectives on and no single authoritative 'neutral' information. and in that line i love how the world is more than those people! how the world is much more than you., as impactful as the courier can be, the world reacting and moving and changing is prioritized over absolute player freedom to Experience Content--i love that, for instance, if you're vilified by the NCR before House gives you the quest to protect kimball, he just says "they're not going to let you get close to them, we'll just have to let him die" and then you can't do that quest and kimball dies! little shit like that makes new vegas' world feel real instead of warping around wikis and lore bibles and the protagonist.

so yeah i like a lot about fnv! i am a bit more vocal about my criticisms just bc quite frankly i think all of the things i like are things most people like and i see people saying basically all of this every time the game is brought up while i don't see people talk about the stuff i think is weird/bad as much. and i'm naturally inclinced to like, say whatever i think my more original trhoughts are so i'm not just adding to a chorus. but i do love fnv a lot