#And people deny it because they don’t see this behaviour as abuse

[bisexualseraphim]

I’m not like an expert on childcare or anything but I am a human person who has been around for over two decades and I have made a couple of interesting observations about kids during my time on this Earth:

If you scream at a small child, they are probably going to either scream back in defiance or start crying out of fear.

If you get rough with a small child and try to physically drag them around, they are probably going to feel trapped (because they are) and instinctively try to escape.

Doing either of these things will scare the child and make them significantly less likely to do as you ask and stay by your side because they don’t want to get screamed at or hit.

Now, this all might seem like common sense to you; and it absolutely is!

SO WHY THE FUCK DO MOTHERS OF TODDLERS AT THE SUPERMARKET KEEP BEHAVING THIS WAY

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

Offering an NPD perspective on Ford Pines, because I feel the most common discussions surrounding his narcissistic traits tends to go in two ways — from what I’ve personally seen — and that’s defending him, and denying the mere possibility he may have NPD because it’s seen as a negative, or using NPD as a way to villainise him, and thus demonise NPD. Or, the alternative, this part of his character is completely overlooked.

That isn’t to say I haven’t seen some wonderful analyses on Ford and NPD, rather, I find it surprisingly lacking when his character might be some of the best representation of my own experience struggling with narcissism (alongside Bill).

I believe a lot of it stems from the misconception and stigma around NPD, and the fact Ford goes again common, typically incorrect, ideas, such as showing genuine care for other people, and accepting his failures and where he went wrong in the end, trying to repair his relationship with Stan, and realising that he doesn’t need to be recognised worldwide, as he’s found happiness with his family instead. All of these do not correlate with the media idea of a narcissist, but the fact is, narcissists are no different from any other disorder or mental health issue. We come in all different forms, and the idea we are inherently abusive or evil is such a widespread misconception that it becomes difficult getting help or support.

And that’s why I find Ford so important.

This alone, to me, describes in simple words how it feels to deal with NPD, and though you could argue Bill is projecting here, I think the point is they’re so similar, the lines blur. Both struggle with this same mentality, but Ford is able to reach out, and accept help, and Bill lets himself sink deeper and deeper into his own lies. Also, I’d argue it isn’t Bill projecting, because we sees evidence of this behaviour in Ford in the show and the journal.

He’s someone who believes himself destined for greatness, and won’t accept the bare minimum, such as when Fiddleford suggests he publish his research as is — No, he can’t have that. He has to be the one to uncover this grand theory. He has to have his name cemented amongst the greats. He believes himself to be special, different and more capable than other people, and yet he longs for the company of others all the same. He lives off of validation and praise, and strives for it, his own ego clashing against his lack of self-worth. Bill’s manipulations work on him because Ford eats up this sort of validation — it’s like one big high. It’s confirmation he is special. He is meant for greater things. He was right.

Ford notably struggles with empathy, which is likely both related to his autism, and also his narcissism. Other people simply don’t make sense to him. It takes effort for him to be able to understand people where they’re at, and he is willing to put in that effort notably, taking note of Fiddleford’s habits for example.

He also does struggle with manipulation and being deeply self-centred. A great example being Dipper’s apprenticeship. Ford is very subtly manipulating the situation here, and he doesn’t even notice, which is, in my own experience, common with NPD. He’s also unable to see Dipper and Mabel as, well, Dipper and Mabel, rather putting his own issues with Stan onto them, especially Dipper. He sees Dipper as a younger version of himself, and is trying to point him in that direction, never thinking whether it’s actually right for Dipper, or whether it’s for himself.

I could probably go on, like how he tends to have a black and white view of people, with his opinions on them easily flicking between extremes as a method of coping, or how he panics at the idea of his life’s work being destroyed, despite knowing the dangers.

Whether you agree he has NPD or not, Ford definitely has a lot of narcissistic traits, and yet, despite that, despite every mistake he’s made, everyone he’s pushed away, he gets a second chance. He gets to be loved and understood. He finds happiness. He gets to recover.

It’s very rare that characters with so many narcissistic traits get endings like that!

Ford is not a bad person because he’s a narcissist, he’s just a person, one who’s fucked up, and who’s still learning, and still healing, and that’s why he works. That’s why he’s such a comfort.

On a final note, If you are someone who’s going to argue vehemently against this idea, I kindly ask you simply scroll by!

[genderqueerdykes]

tired transmasc from earlier. My discomfort with those who believe in "transandrophobia" is not from self-hate nor from radfems. It’s from listening to transfems. And I don’t believe men or masculinity are bad at all!! I am in community with with men and mascs and with women + fems all the time. It’s just plain ignorant to say we don’t have male privilege and are actually oppressed for being men. We do have privilege. The whole "everyone is saying men are evil!!" thing sounds so much like incel behaviour it’s really off putting.

hello again! thanks for dropping by, let me see if i can help explain things better, and as to why it's not okay to put down other trans men and deny that they are experience oppression just because you, one person, believes they are not. dont take this personally, but much like gravity, you not believing in it doesn't mean it's not happening. it's happening, you're just refusing to acknowledge it. this is the equivalent of plugging one's ears and humming when someone else starts talking

i'm gonna call this behavior for what it is, because yourself & every other self-flagellating trans man & transmasc who says transandrophobia doesn't exist because it belittles trans women are just hurting people ON PURPOSE with a thin guise of saying "listen to trans women!!!!!" i really hope you understand that trans women can see through that. we can tell that you're doing this specifically to hurt people, not to give trans women a platform to stand on. you think you are telling people to listen to trans women, but what you are doing is SILENCING trans men & mascs in order to do that. you can't do that to your own gender. you're silencing yourself in the process. you're participating in transmasculine erasure and this is not a good thing. don't be proud of that. don't be proud of erasing the things your siblings go through.

I have to be really, really honest with you and tell you that this kissing up to trans women for brownie points stuff is really, really obvious and none of us like it. Like I'm not being mean. Please don't take this in a sarcastic tone. I am stock serious when I say that trans women & transfems can tell when you are doing things to pander to us to act like you care about transfems and transfemininity. We can tell this is desperate virtue signalling to not look transmisogynistic and nothing else. I'm serious. You are hating people on purpose with the guise of trying to help trans women. You do not have to silence someone else in order to let trans women talk and listen to them.

If you do not want transfems & trans women to be silenced: do not silence someone else. You do not solve this problem by silencing someone else. We solve the problem by listening to each other, not forcing the other to sit in silence while only one person talks. You don't solve the problem by doing that exact thing to someone else. You're creating a new problem.

privilege is a power structure, trans men do not suddenly shoot up from oppressed woman to neurotypical cishet white able bodied man in terms of status in society. i need people to get this into their heads that trans men do not and will not ever shoot directly up the privilege ladder and instantly become abusive and predator and holding power over all the other queers. like this is completely fabricated. you can stop believing that now, it's quite literally made up by trans/rad fems because they do not interact with trans men irl to see that they struggle.

trans men are not oppressed for being men: they're oppressed for being TRANS men. the trans part is what they're being oppressed for. do you not see transmascs and trans men as trans? because if so that is highly disturbing. and don't call that "regular transphobia" because that's not true and you know it isn't trans men and mascs are oppressed... for being TRANS men. seriously. you gotta stop focusing on "men bad" so hard that you literally forget that trans men are trans. back it up. like seriously i'm dead serious. back it up one step. before you focus on the "man" part, think about the "trans" part and how you're basically denying that trans men are trans because you are so wrapped up in radfem hate. TRANS men do not become cis men after they come out. they don't become cis men after transitioning. this, quite literally, is transandrophobia. what you said right there is an example of transandrophobia. sober up, you are not thinking clearly.

the thing is that we do not have male privilege wholesale as a group. that is a lie you have been told. you have to realize most trans men never gain any form of cishet male privilege. some trans men may pass well, but if the word gets out that they're trans, they are no longer respected or viewed as a man at all. especially if you're a man of color. trans men may have an amount of privilege depending on the situation, like being someone's manager, but it is not male privilege in every situation, nor is it anywhere near the privilege that cishet perisex white abled men have.

when we have this type of conversation, we are assuming that all trans men are 100% cis passing who will never be questioned. which happens, but that does not mean those trans men do not struggle. in fact, trans men like that suffer greatly in terms of reproductive care. cis passing trans men are often outright denied reproductive care, and some need that to live. some need to see a gynecologist for a variety of reasons, and being a cis passing man can shoot you in the foot. trans men struggle in health care almost universally. trans men are constantly misgendered in medical settings, and are very often treated as though they are cis women by medical staff no matter what. trans men and mascs are also very commonly assaulted by doctors and other medical professionals

most trans men do not get paid more at their jobs. trans men struggle to get promotions. trans men struggle to get employment in male dominated fields. most trans men still deal with homelessness, sexual assault, physical assault, domestic violence, addiction, misogyny and more. trans men deal with corrective rape. trans men deal with stalking. trans men do not magically have it better in society the second they come out. it creates a whole new host of problems

gaslighting strangers and telling them they're not being abused and oppressed isn't helping anyone. i'm serious. please stop this behavior because you are the one hurting people. care about trans men and mascs. you don't have to throw transmascs and trans men under the bus in order for trans women to be heard. we don't need to be pandered to like this. it's not flattering or helping anyone. you don't need to kiss up to people who literally hate your gender.

i need you to understand that people who talk like this hate transmascs and trans men. they don't like you. they don't care about you. leave those kinds of environments. you're going to regret it if you don't. if you're thinking about your oppression aaalllll day long its all you're ever gonna see and eventually, it's gonna crush you under its weight. be careful. that's dangerous thinking.

[extremely-judgemental]

Subtext is completely lost in this fandom. I partly blame SJM for it. This is a rant from both reading and writing standpoint and leans towards the characters since I like to psychoanalyse them.

The one thing that tired me the most in these books is the excessive narration. I don’t mean the wordy description to support world-building but the never-ending monologues. SJM takes ‘show, don’t tell’ advice literally with the visual cues when it should apply to the characters and their personalities as well. Where subtext usually exposes depth of these characters and lets you decide who they are, SJM strips away that chance by writing it down for you word by word. The reason so many are going with 'in the book' argument is exactly this.

Here’s what I mean.

In real life, people don’t think linearly. They have an idea about themselves as much as they have about everyone else around them. There are self-imposed restrictions on their thoughts based on who they believe to be and who they strive to be. And it shows in their interaction with outside world. Say, when someone is ashamed of their actions, they will deny it for as long as possible. Someone who regrets something, they will sugarcoat it.

But in her books, her characters think clearly—way too clearly so that you latch onto the ideas she perpetuates. You don’t get to know them based on their thoughts, words, and actions, and see how these three support each other. You don't get a chance to draw conclusions as to if they are the hero/villain and good/evil based on their actions. If their behaviours match their words or if their choices are acceptable. Because SJM sets it in words for you. The characters come with a label beforehand. (Feyre, Rhysand and Inner Circle are good guys. Tamlin, Eris and Nesta, sometimes Lucien are evil.) It's why so many toxic and abusive themes are dismissed because it’s the 'good guy' or the 'morally grey guy’ who does it.

And so, her lead or ‘good’ characters fall flat since they have everything figured out. They know themselves inside out. They are never wrong about themselves, there’s no part they hide from themselves or the others. There’s nothing for you to read and identify the beauty or ugliness in the character. There’s no depth in them because they don’t contradict themselves, they don’t struggle to be someone they always believed to be. They don’t have to prove anything to themselves or others. They say what they think and they do what they say. They are very aware of their shortcomings and they all seem to know the exact consequences of their decisions.

Feyre doesn’t change in the three books. Her ‘rags to riches’ story doesn’t lead to much character growth. She starts out as an adamant, reckless child and ends up being arrogant, reckless woman with a crown. She doesn’t undergo a shift in personality but climbs up the social hierarchy. And that’s considered character development. Rhysand remains the same throughout. He starts out as a villain but later revealed as a good guy playing bad. Instead of growing into a hero—given his crimes, his ill deeds are negated with sympathetic backstory. And from there, it’s a flat line. There’s no growth.

In the end how does the character change in the aftermath of the events? Which of their beliefs are shattered and rebuilt? What is the emotional impact on the other characters? SJM does offer some closure on these regards but they are solely focused on a list of traumas and specific reactions set by SJM herself. And so readers refuse to think for themselves how these scenarios may play out and take the words relayed through the unreliable narrators who are essentially preaching SJM’s biases. Also, when they are so explicitly written down, there’s not much room for subtext. After going through pages and pages of justification, it tires you from using reason.

Even if we get past this (writing) flaw, there are other major issues. Story telling is a way of experiencing life. It helps build empathy, compassion and understanding of the world. Even in a fantasy book, when that world doesn’t exist, when the characters aren’t real, their journey are drawn from real life experiences. Relating to these characters is subjective and solely depends on the reader, but determining the rightness of their actions is not. This too is warped as SJM dictates which behaviour is acceptable and how far through her lead characters(Feyre vs Nesta imprisonment). Instead of allowing you to judge the choices, the verdict is spoon-fed through the ‘hero’. If the characters are forgiven, it’s not abuse. It’s a simple mistake. (It’s a mistake if it happens once and if there’s a changed behaviour after the apology.) If the characters are happy in the end, their acts are admissible. Unless SJM stamps the word ‘abuser’ and ‘bad guy’ in block letters herself(Tamlin), it's not even considered a possibility.

In short, in this fandom, ‘reading between the lines’ is acceptable as long as it supports what the author preaches. When it contradicts ‘it’s in the books’. Logic is valid only if you use it to justify the fan favourites and applaud them. Empathy is conditional. Compassion is conditional. Critical thinking is so discouraged that it’s pitiful.

[ssnowjo]

I’m just venting here.

I first liked joe because he seemed normal, like genuinely average (which is not a bad thing) I think It was nice to see someone like him in the entertainment industry, not your typical pretty Hollywood boy and it was working no one can deny that, that’s what was appealing about him and I know many people found comfort on that and I don’t blame them.

The whole situation with DC did disappoint me but I wasn’t surprised, he’s a man after all and as I said before I took him out of the pedestal a long time ago.

But what it genuinely bothered me so much was the behaviour of the fandom, many people felt disappointed on him and expressed their opinions just to be harassed by others in the fandom, just because they want to defend a MAN.

Poc and black fans expressed their opinions,their concern and at least to me they expressed how they often feel left out of the conversation and what was the response…telling them that they’re making a big deal, you bullied a girl to deactivate and called her the N-word just because she was calling Joe out (and also DC). You called fans who question joe behaviour crazy and that have a parasocial relationship but it’s you who treat him like the f messiah, a 30 year old man that can do no wrong, he’s just uwu chocolate button eyes and everyone is mean to him, Joe CHOOSE to be with DC, real or pr, he wanted to be with her, it’s clear he wants the fame, the money I literally saw that when he choose to work with marvel so stop acting like he’s an innocent lamb.

With that being said, he can do whatever he wants that’s on him, I don’t pray on his downfall and I never will after all I had a great time while it lasted, I cracked some jokes, I had fun…but I’m not gonna be defending him he is responsible for his own actions and if he ruins his image, his career it’s on him.

To anyone who felt deeply affected by this whole situation, poc/black fans, victims of abuse, people who find comfort in being a fan, I just want to tell you that your feelings are valid and if you want to talk you’re very much welcome here. I hope you all find healing, I know sometimes being a fan brings happiness and comfort but It can also be mentally draining, so I hope this situation encourages you to take care of yourself, put yourself first not celebrities, take yourself on a date, go to a nice restaurant, spend your money on a face treatment or spa.

[animegirl3476]

Another day, another discourse comparing and contrasting Shoya and Shoko’s relationship in A Silent Voice with Katsuki and Izuku’s relationship in My Hero Academia.

At the end of the day, you’ll never get a 1:1 comparison with these two cases due to the fact that 1) They belong to vastly different genres, 2) One is far longer than the other and 3) One is a grounded character drama and coming of age tale.

But…

I think that A Silent Voice provides a fairly good basis for judging the way MHA handles the relationship development of two characters, where one used to bully the other and an arc of atonement occurs. More importantly, comparisons to A Silent Voice highlight the shortcomings of Katsuki and Izuku’s relationship development and allows me to understand and actually communicate what I don’t like about the way the story handles it.

In my opinion, what sets these two stories apart in the way they handle the atonement arcs of their respective bullies is the way they portray consequences. The big “C” word tends to elicit a hostile reaction from certain fans, who assume that your idea of consequences must necessarily involve the bully character being gratuitously punished and made to suffer as retribution for their past actions. But a consequence is just the “result or affect of an action or condition” and can range in severity, it can have many different effects.

A Silent Voice uses social consequences to prompt change from its main character. Shoya’s bullying results in him being shunned by his classmates and friends, and the story goes to great lengths to show how his actions not only hurt his victim, but that they also hurt people he cared about. His mom has to reimburse Shoko’s mom for the damaged hearing aids (when she is already short on money) for example. Furthermore, the knowledge of his past is something that impacts the way others perceive him, and that change in perception is essential to his arc.

More importantly, A Silent Voice makes it clear to the viewer/reader that despite Shoko generally being a kind and forgiving person, the bullying still hurt her deeply enough to leave a long lasting impression. Shoko is receptive to Shoya’s will to change, but the story doesn’t ignore that Shoko suffered greatly and that the bullying made her sad, frustrated and even angry. Her negative emotions are not overshadowed by her desire to see Shoya become a better person.

The thing that holds me back from enjoying Katsuki and Izuku’s relationship development is the lack of consequences Bakugou receives for his bullying (which is directly connected to the way the narrative denies Izuku both agency and introspection) The hard truth is that Bakugou faces little to no consequences for his past behaviour, and one would think that such a topic would have to be brought up at some point because, ya know…he goes to a hero school. A HERO school, a place where people train to be role models, help people on a large scale and protect those who cannot protect themselves.

The first scene we see with Bakugou depicts him as the opposite of a hero. A mean bully who beats up people weaker than him, and this is emphasized by the fact that he targets Izuku, who has no means of defending himself. Despite this, he gets into UA, which isn’t necessarily a problem because it communicates a major flaw in the system that cultivates heroes (Overlooking certain problematic traits in favour of innate talent and strength) BUT, the information that he used to be a bully never comes up among his classmates in any major or lasting way. We saw his classmates, and even his new friends discuss or think about how much they abhor bullying. The students of class 1A do not like it when people abuse their strength to pick on those weaker than them…yet that never seems to connect back to Bakugou’s past as a bully.

This issue is exacerbated by the lack of attention given to Izuku’s side of the story. In stories that involve the atonement or redemption of a bully, it is CRITICAL that the victim’s side of the story is treated as something equally important to the bully’s side. It’s not something that can just be overshadowed by the bully’s side, it must be focused on in order for the atonement arc to work.

It’s disappointing that Izuku lacks the introspection that Katsuki gets, and very unsatisfying that it effectively lets Katsuki off the hook for literally every bad thing he’s ever done. The ways the bullying might’ve impacted Izuku for the worst is hardly ever discussed because every time the narrative approaches the topic, it always pivots to Izuku praising Katsuki for the things he did right. This is a big problem, because it silences any discussion that focuses on Izuku’s feelings and shines the spotlight on Katsuki instead.

Before I end my little tangent, I also feel the need to say this: Pointing to any instance of Katsuki’s suffering throughout the series IS NOT EVIDENCE OF CONSEQUENCES! Any bad thing will happen to Katsuki and people will proceed to say: “SEE?! Did you see that?? Katsuki HAS faced consequences! How can you say that he never faced consequences for his actions? Why do you want him to suffer?” It’s so disingenuous and it’s a terrible argument that refuses to criticize the text.

[offtotheiceberg]

Chapter 431, what have u done? Part 4

Spoilers

4) I’m sorry for everything I’ve done up until now.

Okayyy let’s get started.

Katsuki x Izuku is one of the most popular ships in mha. Whether you like it, hate it, or reject shipping culture entirely, their relationship (however you see it) is one of the main pillars of the story. I will say that I like them together, I think they make sense and their history is compelling, and I love writing them, but pls don’t disregard everything I’m saying just because of that.

First of all, hot take, but bkdk would never EVER have been canon. Shonen (particularly popular shonen) doesn’t do queer couples, at least not obviously. Notice, that’s not what many fans are concerned about. I’m going to try and unpack it as best as I can.

Izuku attempting to save Katsuki from the sludge villain was the reason All Might gave him his power. You cannot spin this any other way. If Izuku hadn’t run into that fight, he would still be quirkless. One one end, I don’t think it mattered who was in that villain’s grasp - I think Izuku still would have gone if it was someone random from school, but on Katsuki’s end, it mattered that it was Deku. In some ways, they were both catalysts to the other’s Hero journey.

Second, Izuku progress and All Might’s downfall were two of the main influences that broke down Katsuki’s superiority complex (plus realising that he wasn’t the strongest in the class, and he too needed to be saved). This break down allowed to two of them to be “proper rivals” which is a direct quote from the manga. Win to save and save to win are two halves of All Might’s ideology, and that is NOT a coincidence. In many ways, they’re supposed to be foils that build each other up. Even if you hate it, you can’t deny that they’re significant influences on each other in their hero journey.

(tw here, brief discussion of suicide)

Now, the atonement. THIS is where the hypocrisy comes out to play. What Katsuki did to Izuku in middle school cannot and should not be taken lightly. Aside from the bullying, telling someone to kill themselves is not okay. But, and it’s a big but, YOU CAN AND SHOULD MAKE UP FOR YOUR MISTAKES. This is not systematic, malicious abuse, like we saw with Endeavour (who never gets to fully atone, rightfully so that is a different situation) these are the actions of a 14 year old kid. Katsuki was cruel to Izuku, I am not trying to deny that. HOWEVER, in real life, people are not held to the horrible shit they say when they’re 14. Come on, this is obvious. Atonement requires two things: an apology, and a change of behaviour. Katsuki does both of these things. However atonement in literature, or in “not real life” or whatever, is slightly different. It ALSO requires the relationship between those two characters to be affected in some way, and this relationship change is what clues us as the audience in to whether this atonement has been successful. Take Endeavour, for example the way we as the viewer see that he has not fully atoned is via Natsuo, the son who didn’t forgive, and Shoto’s hesitance to. We get taught this as writing students, I’m not pulling this out of my ass.

The bare minimum to fulfil the message that people can atone for their past mistakes is a resolution to Katsuki and Izuku’s relationship that fulfils the arcs set up for them. Just a reminder, these arcs are: twin stars, rivals, “win to save, save to win”, “I will surpass you” otherwise known as catching up to each other, and both of them wanting to be the best Heroes in the world.

The soundest, most logical way to finish these arcs is the two of them becoming a Hero Duo. The second most is them working together, which is what Katsuki offered Izuku in the last chapter. THIS IS NOT AN ADMISSION OF ROMANCE, FFS. It’s good character development!!! You can have Izuku working sith Katsuki AND have a satisfying Izuocha romance in the same universe, they are not mutually exclusive!!! I can’t believe I needed to say that???? Be an izuocha shipper and ACKNOWLEDGE THE FUCKING STORYLINE. Please don’t make this into a petty ‘them vs me’ narrative, there was already enough of that shit with the US election.

Them going their seperate ways might even have been a satisfying ending if it had been written better, but it wasn’t. There was no evidence of that for 430 chapters. Their growth, particularly Katsuki’s was irrevocably tied to the other. Again, some of the most nonsensical writing I’ve ever seen. What it implies, whether intended or not, is that atonement is a falsity and no matter what, Katsuki and Izuku’s relationship is forever scarred by what happened when they were kids, even though the final battles in the war have evidence to the contrary. This is NOT a positive message. For more analysis of Izuku’s decision to not be a Pro Hero, pls see part 1.

Come back for Part 5 (conclusion)

[lokisprettygirl]

Brokenhearted (Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon Modern AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 15 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 16

Summary : Daemon's love and care has made your life easier post accident, however you can't help but feel that he's not being entirely truthful to you.

Warning: 18+, Smut, violent thoughts, stalking, Discussion of mensuration and Pregnancy, bloodshed, kidnapping, Abusive relationship, mention of rape, ptsd, toxic masculinity, gender norms, sexual abuse, Samantha, traumatic distressing content, Daemon is a big time smoker so if it’s something triggering don’t read it, alcohol drinking, mention of past trauma and therapy, cigarette smoking, possessive behaviour, violence, baby needs therapy, baby is trying

It had been two weeks since you returned home from the hospital. Daemon had practically moved in with you, and it felt like he had always been there. There was no official discussion, no grand gesture. You just found a luggage full of his stuff in your room one morning and none of you said anything about it. He was taking such good care of you that this whole traumatic incident didn't feel like the worst thing that had ever happened, even though it actually was the worst experience you had ever been through in your life.

You still had the recurring nightmares and you used to see a therapist before for anxiety issues so Daemon got in touch with her and she was visiting you as well to help you deal with the aftermath of the trauma the accident had left behind.

There was just one problem, just one tiny problem, you had this ugly sinking feeling in your gut that he was hiding something from you.

Everytime he left the center, he came home almost an hour later, which didn't make sense to you because it was merely a twenty minute drive. Viserys had told you that maybe he was going to his condo but when you had asked him the same he had denied doing so. He had told you that Samantha was there and he didn't want to see her under any condition.

The next evening you had your friends over at your apartment so when Daemon came back from work, he was already a bit distracted and seeing a group of ladies just lounging in your apartment was a bit of a surprise for him. You knew you had to introduce them to each other at some point so that's what you did. Once they left he sat down on the couch next to you and kissed you softly before he slumped onto the couch.

"Tired?" You asked him softly as you raised your right hand to caress his scalp,

"No..but that feels good…keep going" you smiled as he said that. You couldn't understand how he wasn't tired, he trained himself and the new guys that turned up at the center and he was basically your caretaker for the rest of the day, taking care of your diet and medicines that you needed and were too careless to take on time.

"You had fun i see" he mumbled, making you smile, it was nice to see your friends. You always enjoyed gushing about the guys you were seeing with them but Daemon was not just some guy, he was the love of your life.

Next day as he came home he found you in the kitchen trying to do whatever you can with one capable hand and you felt his eyes on the nurse Sally who was also a bit worried about the whole situation but more than that she feared his wrath for allowing you to do this.

"Stop glaring at her, I insisted, I practically forced her to let me do this" you told him so he sighed and rubbed his forehead with his hand before he spoke.

"You can leave for the day" he told Sally so she immediately scurried off as soon as she could.

"You scare people, you know that?"

"Good. What are you doing hmm? You're supposed to be resting so you could heal" he stood behind you and hugged you like that with his arm secured around your waist and chin down on your shoulder "You're making Cheese Burger"

"Yeah well i was going to surprise you but you are early today"

He didn't say anything for a few seconds and then he just placed a soft kiss on your cheek. He was early because he had decided to not feed Samantha today, she was difficult to break but he wasn't going to give up. He had come so far to take a step back now. He had left a candy bar on the bed yesterday though, even though he wanted to be as cruel as possible he couldn't actually bring himself to be that way.

"You are magnificent darling, if i could.. I'd just fuck you right about now" he mumbled in your ears and it made you feel all tingly.

"Well you absolutely can, you choose not to"

"Husshh"

After eating while he was in the shower, you received a call from the owner of Cuisine waves telling you that they were hiring someone else in your place because they couldn't hold your job any longer. When Daemon stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and found you crying with your head smushed in the pillow he was immediately right next to you,

"What is it hmm?" He asked you firmly even though he was a bit terrified.

"I lost my job..they fired me" you mumbled between your sniffles and the sight made him tear up but there was also a small smile on his face

"That's it..that is what is making you bawl my silly girl?" He asked softly so you glared at him.

"I liked working there…I felt.. comfortable..i was there for four years for a reason" you sniffled again like a baby so he wiped your tears and kissed you.

"Yeah?? felt comfy there huh?" You nodded as he questioned you and then he pampered you all day long to comfort you.

Two days later you discovered that he had bought the diner and hired you back in your previous position. You didn't know whether to cry from the sweet sentimental gesture or be infuriated by his impulses. At the end you decided to cry indeed because you knew you'd never treat him the way Samantha did. He did something nice for you in the hope that it would make you happy and feel better so you weren't going to go all mommy on him and tell him that he needed to spend his money wisely. Also, he knew better about financial management than you did.

A week later while you were alone with Sally, she had received a call informing her about a family emergency and she asked you if she could leave so you didn't really think much of it and allowed her to go. When Daemon came home he was furious you could tell but he didn't really snap at you, no, he waited for a day, kept his anger bubbling until he saw Sally again and snapped at her instead.

However once he noticed the tears in her eyes he calmed down and strictly told her to not be so careless about your safety and inform him first if she had to go somewhere.

After she had left for the day, you were watching Daemon huffing and puffing still, cursing at every little inanimate object that seemed to have irked him somehow. He even had an argument with his hair brush for not being able to get rid of his tangles.

"Come here"

You mumbled softly so he grunted and then eventually walked towards you.

"What?" He asked you as he carefully got on top of you with one of his knees between your legs and the other on the left side of your thigh.

You curled your fingers around his neck and pulled him closer to kiss him, his body was stiff at first but soon he melted with your touch. As your hand wandered down he grabbed it swiftly and pulled away to look at you.

"What are you doing?"

"You know what I am doing"

You struggled against his hold so he allowed your hand to wander lower and you slipped it under the waistband of his trouser but he grabbed it again.

"Noo"

You halted in your tracks as he said that, you had to know what he was feeling, you had to be careful with him after everything he had been through.

"Is that a no in the sense that 'Stop it I'm uncomfortable' or no as in 'I want it but I'm scared I'm going to hurt you'

His brows crinkled as you said that and he placed his forehead down on yours,

"The latter ofcourse..I can't do this love..half of your limbs are broken and you know how I get when I'm fucking you" you bit on your lips as he said that. Your eyes were glittering with different emotions,

"When did you start to love me this much?" He narrowed his eyes at the question,

"Don't get too cocky"

"Okay but I never said anything about fucking now did i? Let me just.." You mumbled as you took his cock out and gave it a few strokes, he was already hard just from the close proximity and sexual whispering in his ear "You have been so grumpy.. let me fix that"

His breathing got heavier as you worked him up and down slowly.

"Look into my eyes" your tone was sharp so he glared at you and grabbed your chin with his fingers.

"Don't talk to me like that"

"Mmmm sorry..look at me dae pleaseee"

He kissed you deeply and passionately before he did what you had asked him to, his knee that was settled between your legs had inched closer to your heated core and as he pressed it right against your damp soaked clothed flesh you let out a loud gasp,

"You need this too don't you?" he snickered as your hips gyrated against his knee.

"Of Course i do ..it's been months, the last time I touched myself was night before the accident"

"And what were you thinking of when you pleasured yourself?"

"I thought about you and how good it would feel to have your fingers playing with me instead of mine"

His finger slipped under the waistband of your shorts and panties at once as he rubbed your wet dripping lips ,

"Mmm spread your leg darling, only one of them is broken..the other one works well" he commanded in an authoritative tone and the gravel in his voice made you moan,

"Gosh I miss this side of you Daemon "

"I know you do, pampering isn't enough for you is it? You need to be put in your place once in a while"

"Mmm yesss sir..I wish I could suck on your cock, drink all of the cum you're going to spill on me"

He moaned at your words and he really wanted to please you but the way you worked him up with your touch and your filthy words were making him lose all his inhibitions, he unbuttoned your shirt until your breasts were exposed and then his mouth sucked and nipped on the erect buds while his thumb rubbed in circles over your clit and middle finger curled inside your warmth.

You didn't really need much stimulation, you have been craving his touch for months now so when you came so suddenly he was only pleased with himself. His fingers were soaking wet as he pulled them out of you, looking right in your eyes he licked them all at once into his mouth, the way his full soft lips wrapped around his own digits was the most erotic sight you had ever witnessed in life.

The ecstatic look on his face gave you enough indication that he was close and you wanted to feel it all on you, you wanted to feel his warm cum on your skin.

"Cum all over me dae…please" your whiny begging voice pushed him over the edge and he aimed for your breasts as he let go, covering every inch of your tits in his glistening cum. The constant whisper of your name as he rode through his high was enough to turn you on again.

"Feeling better?" You asked him in a sheepish manner but he kissed you in response instead of answering and got off the bed to clean the mess he had made on you, once he was done he buttoned up your shirt.

"Was I too rough?" He asked you softly so you smiled,

"Noo come here" you opened your arms, well one arm to be precise, so he sighed before he leaned down and rested his head on your chest

"What's bothering you baby?"

"Nothing I'm just worried about you"

"I'm okay now..I'll be okay"

"I know I just…I'm being stupid'

"No you're not..you're adorable like this"

"Shut up"

"Mmmhhm'

When you woke up from the nap he wasn't there in the bed with you so you called out for him but when he didn't answer you picked up your phone and called him instead

"Darling you up?" He asked you

"Yess where are you?"

"At my condo..had to grab a few of my things" he said and you felt worried thinking about him being alone there with her.

"Ummmm okay..is she there?"

"Yeah" he mumbled as he looked at Samantha, all tied up in chains and bound on the bed still,

"Okay be careful baby and come back soon okay?"

Well he wasn't the one that had to be careful anymore.

"Will be there in a flash i promise"

"I love you" you mumbled softly so he smiled.

"I love you"

Once you hung up, he got up from the chair and walked towards Samantha to take the duct tape off her mouth and she immediately began to hurl verbal abuses towards him which didn't impress him at all, it's not that he hadn't heard her creative words before. He sat back down on the chair and glared at her for a moment before he spoke,

"All of this can end Samantha, you know that right? All you have to do is prove to me that you'd confess for your crime"

"I have given you my word you bastard" she yelled at him so he let out a sound of disapproval. He didn't trust her at all.

"But I don't believe you ..I don't trust you to not change your mind"

"Daemon if I die here you'd be in prison forever..is that what you want?"

"Well at least you'd be dead ey?" He smiled and her eyes welled up in tears of anger and hurt at the same time "Don't fret though, you think I'd let you get away so easily after what you have done to her? Just a slow torturous death? No no no no" He snickered as he leaned into his chair

"I want to watch you rot in prison sweetheart"

You were on the bed waiting for Daemon to come home, being almost bedridden wasn't fun to say the least, sure you were getting to spend plenty of time with him but when he wasn't there you felt absolutely alone.

"Where is the stuff?" You asked him as he entered the room all empty handed.

"In the car..ummm in the backseat of the car" he mumbled as he took his hoodie off and his shirt followed, you were only getting pudgier everyday while he only got hotter somehow. You wondered if Samantha said something to him but you decided to not bring her up.

"Once i recover I want you to train me back to shape"

He smiled as you said that and crawled into the bed to get on top of you, you could smell the cologne mixed with the aroma of freshly burnt cigarette on him.

"In shape you silly girl? You're all perfect but I'll help you get healthy if that's what you desire" he grabbed your chin and talked to you as if you were a petulant child.

"Yeahh ..that .."

"What do you want for dinner?"

"You"

"You had me ..no more exertion..what else?"

There was a smile on his face and it made you smile even wider.

"You seem..in a good mood"

"Yeah you put me there with your little stunt this afternoon" you couldn't help but giggle at his words but then your expressions turned somber.

"I'm bored Daemon..I'm losing my mind over here"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You're doing enough for me..I can't ask you to be here with me 24/7" he sighed before he got off the bed and quickly walked towards the closet to put his shirt on again.

"Let's go"

"What?"

"Come on …I want to show you something "

He picked you up as carefully as he could and made you sit down on the couch as he went back in the room to grab the car keys, then he picked you up again and took you downstairs.

"Where are we going?"

"Shhhh.."

You got quiet as he gave you the eyes, he really wanted to wait for your birthday but he figured this would brighten your mood. Halfway on the road he made you close your eyes and when you opened it you were right in front of the diner. From outside it looked different, he was getting the exteriors changed now that he owned it but that was not what took you by surprise, you gasped as you looked at the new name of the diner. It was no longer Cuisine waves.

"Silly's Cheeseburger" you read the name out loud so he looked at the diner,

"It's so fucking stupid I know..I just wanted you to have a place where you'd feel at home even when you're at work and perhaps think of me every time you see the name"

He chuckled as he looked your way and he was expecting you to laugh or give him eyes or something but he saw you sniffing and crying instead, those were the tears of happiness for a change. He immediately took his seat belt off and scooted closer to comfort you,

"Sentimental little thing aren't you?"

"Shut up ..this is ..the sweetest thing..i ..oh god"

"Hey hey hey okay no crying..no more yeah?" He cooed in your ears as he embraced you as tightly as he could without hurting you. Once you had calmed down a bit he stepped out and opened the door on your side to pick you up so he could take you inside, it was all empty in there due to the renovation. The diner was going through a complete transformation.

"Wait where are ..what about the other staff?"

"Don't worry, they're all off with pay..it will reopen a week later..on your birthday" you gasped again as he revealed that.

"Gosh Daemon i love this..i love you …but is this really the best use of your money? I don't want you to regret it in future"

He smiled as you said that and made you sit down on the bill counter, cupping your cheeks he made you look at him,

"This is not just a financial investment, this place is the reason why you were there in the alley that night, the reason why I met you..why I am no longer just living but alive. I'd never ever regret anything that involves you my love, now I'd shut up because you're going to cry again and I don't like little girls who cry all the time "

You bit on your cheeks as he said that and pulled him closer to kiss him as lovingly as you could.

"You know we are not far apart in age right?"

He chuckled as you said that.

"I'm jesting darling, you can cry all you want but –"

"You hate it I know" he nodded in affirmation.

"Want to see your favorite place?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

You giggled as he picked you up again and took you to the kitchen, it was newly furnished as well, you didn't even recognise it at first.

"New burners oh my gosh, we have been complaining for so long..wait a minute– " a look of realization flashed on your face so he raised his brows .

"Does that mean you're my boss now?"

"Technically yeah..don't look so shocked though ..you know I'm your boss any which ways"

"Haha funny..do you think people will hate me for fucking the boss?" He grimaced as you said that,

"You're so crude and no.. I think they'd suck up to you instead"

"I don't want that either"

"Are you happy?"

"I'm more than happy right now dae, you have no idea how amazing you are"

Only if you knew what he was capable of he thought.

While he was grabbing dinner you were in the car by yourself and something felt off but you couldn't put your finger on it, you had the same sinking feeling in your chest now but you didn't understand why. However as soon as you were back in your apartment suddenly it dawned on you.

You looked at him as he was taking the food out, contemplating whether to ask him the question or not. He seemed happy and relaxed for once and you didn't want to ruin that but then you didn't understand why he was lying to you.

There was nothing in the backseat of his car, none of his belongings, he went to his condo to bring his stuff but he came back empty handed and he told you that his things were in the backseat of his car but you had just been there and it was empty so why did he lie to you?

Where did he go? Was he still seeing Samantha or was he in some sort of trouble with her? Millions of questions bothered you and you knew you had to figure out the truth sooner than later.

☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

Taglist (please check your setting if I’m not able to tag you)

@simbaaas-stuff @ajthefujoshi @witchybitch2 @hypocritic-trash-baby @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @thefallenangel21n @kmc1989

@stupidthoughtsinwriting

[zykamiliah]

the moment shen jiu forgives yue qingyuan is the moment he stops being a hypocrite

With that, he came to the cheerful conclusion that Yue Qingyuan had truly done everything he could; he’d gone above and beyond to fulfill the calls of both kindness and duty. Regardless of how much guilt weighed down his heart, his debt had long since been repaid in full.

where before he was denying that luo binghe's revenge was due to his own actions and abuse, and refused to admit his owns wrongdoings in front of yue qingyuan, getting defensive at every question,

“Shidi,” he said, exhausted, “we’ve already come this far, so why do you still refuse to consider your wrongdoings?” Even if someone had knocked out his teeth, even if he was left swallowing his own blood, Shen Qingqiu had always stubbornly refused to admit his transgressions—especially in front of Yue Qingyuan, in front of whom you could absolutely forget about any confessions. “What ‘wrongdoings’?” Shen Qingqiu asked bitterly. “Zhangmen-shixiong, please tell me, what is Luo Binghe if not a bastard? You just wait. He won’t be satisfied only taking it out on me. If, in the future, some tumultuous storm upsets the cultivation world, then the only thing I will have done wrong was fail to cut him down at the start.”

after he forgives yue qingyuan, he starts speaking honestly, and confesses he did wrong, that he only has himself to blame for what happened. it's as if some part of him finally relaxes when he realizes that yue qingyuan truly does care about him. his dialogue becomes less defensive, he is absolutely frank about his own personality.

“I’ll tell you this: Even if all of this could be redone from the beginning, in the end, the conclusion would remain the same. My heart is full of malice, my insides hatred and resentment. Today, Luo Binghe wishes for me to die horribly, and I only have myself to blame.”

everything he says from this point on is what he truly feels about himself and the world.

“Do you still hold such hatred within yourself?” asked Yue Qingyuan. Shen Qingqiu laughed uproariously. “Only when I see other people unhappy can I be happy myself. What do you think?”

then, he absolves yue qingyuan in his own way

Shen Qingqiu scoffed. “You ask me to kill you here, Sect Leader Yue? Are you unsatisfied with the crimes Luo Binghe’s already charged me with? You think them too few? Besides, who do you think you are? My hatred will be resolved as long as I kill you? I’m far beyond cure; I hate everything. Don’t blame this humble Shen for any disrespect or mockery, but if Sect Leader Yue considers himself that very cure, he thinks too highly of himself!”

and this is true: shen jiu hates everything, he's said so before. and even when he and yue qi where in good terms, he still hated people. after he forgives yue qingyuan (in his mind) this doesn't change the fact that he hates the world, he hates people, he hates men, and that he hates himself. his self-worth is not restored because he realizes yue qingyuan loves him, but it does stop him from constantly trying to pretend he had no part in what befell him.

before, every time yue qingyuan asked him "why are you doing this", he'd blame others: luo binghe for being "who he is", liu qingge for provoking him (when it was exactly the opposite). before he'd try to pretend in front of others that he didn't hate everything and everyone,

Shen Jiu hated far too many people and far too many things. Obviously, people found it hard to say anything good about the character of someone who hated everything. So fortunately, by the time he became Shen Qingqiu, he understood he ought to at least keep that hatred from bubbling to the surface.

which made him an hypocrite. but now, finally, in this prison, with yue qingyuan baring his soul in front of him, literally putting his life in shen jiu's hands, he finally stops that behaviour. he acknowledges his own agency.

“Xiao-Jiu, I—” “Don’t call me that!” Shen Qingqiu snarled.

but he still wants to leave the past behind him, and thus his relationship to himself remains the same: he thinks lowly of himself, he sees himself as a "thing". he doesn't have self-esteem or self-love, and he'll keep rejecting the past, rejecting "Shen Jiu".

and he also wants to protect yue qingyuan from himself.

[makingspiritualityreal]

Benefics vs Malefics in Nakshatra

When you really understand the themes of Nakshatras, you see them play out in people's lives, and you can see how different planets operate in them. You notice the difference between malefics and benefics.

Benefics in a Nakshatra give you a free pass, and that is not always good. Essentially, you can get away with wrongdoing unchecked, because you're somehow spiritually "protected". In reality, your soul is in childlike stages of learning this energy so it is given room to gain experience. That can actually be really harmful in the long run. You will still face long term consequences of your behaviour, but you get a free pass so nothing will stop you until you stop yourself. Often, I've seen people be completely unaware that they messed up their whole lives because of abusing their benefics. That is especially prominent if a benefic planet is in a more severe Nakshatra, especially of a Rakshasa nature, because it leads to things like people abusing their anger or authority, and it takes ages for them to know they're paying the price for it.

On the other hand, malefics in the same Rakshasa Nakshatra delay results, will even subject the native to unfair treatment from others, but they show them perfectly how to toe the line of using destructive energies responsibly, for purification, not for an ego trip. I have seen a lot of refined, responsible leadership, that fell upon these natives even when they were hesitant to embrace it. However, the people who failed to grow in this area were as a result flat out denied access to the power of these Nakshatras. You will just not get any results, unless what you are doing is coming from the right place, which is a stark contrast to benefic planets, that don’t properly “discipline” the more fierce Nakshatra energy.

People with benefic planets in destructive Nakshatras, that go unchecked, ultimately destroy themselves, as over time no one wants to be around them and they live surrounded by the results of what they have done.

Fun fact, not all classical benefics suffer from this consequence. The more soft, kind and giving the planet is, the more it suffers in a Nakshatra with fierce qualities. Venus and Mercury have a certain element of spiritual duality about them, and with that comes neutrality, which can adapt to Nakshatras of either nature. Moon, Sun and Jupiter suffer the most in Rakshasa Nakshatra, as they are energetically the most susceptible.

[asakiyumemishiii]

The Steve Harrington to Jamie Tartt to Evan Buckey pipeline. The way they've all been my hyperfixation this year and we can clearly tell why.

Questionably shitty parents. Cannot maintain a relationship. Or at least tries and fails. Cocky to sweet character arc. Good with children. Steve is so good with the kids in the show. Jamie is good with Roy's niece. And Evan literally takes care of Eddie’s son so well that Eddie made him his son’s legal guardian should anything happen to him.

The way they just like are always saving the day, whether directly or indirectly- they always have a part in making a situation better. But it’s in the most reckless way that it’s like practically self-destructive or like kind of self-sabotaging. They're the Hero Character™️, even though they're not even the main character.

They all kind of have like gay best friends too! Or like they themself are super gay coded. Robin comes out to Steve. Colin comes out to the entire team and then everyone is like, “Oh I thought Jamie was the gay one!” And then Jamie doesn’t even deny it, which is crazy. And Buck literally kisses a man. AND both Buck and Steve have insane tension/chemistry with a dude named Eddie LIKE…

The way like people don't even like any of these three characters at the start of their shows. They’re annoying, arrogant, cocky, overconfident, etc… Despite having reason for being that way, like, yeah, they're overconfident but only because they do have the skills to back them up. Steve has charisma and is generally dorky/charming, even though he's like kind of an obnoxious idiot at the same time. Jamie is literally insanely good at football in season one, and he hasn’t even reached his full potential! Buck is also an idiot but he is admittedly still a good firefighter, just careless. And they all just progressively get better without losing their charm. If anything, Jamie becomes so puppy coded, but like in a good way. They all just go from being annoying (derogatory) to annoying (affectionate).

Steve projecting his implied negative family situation onto the kids that he continuously puts his life on the line to save and protect. Jamie having an abusive dad and finding his found family in the Richmond team and also doing his best to make sure they stay at the top of the ranks and don’t get relegated again. Buck having shit parents, but finding family and strength in the 118 firehouse. Steve Harrington, Jamie Tartt and Evan Buckley finding their found family in somewhere and someone that they would have never expected. All three of them learning from the people around them and just genuinely realising their flaws and then actively working to change themselves for the greater good.

Steve hanging around Robin and Dustin and slowly realising that they’re the kind of people who he should have surrounded himself with from the start. Because both of them didn’t cater to his fake King Steve persona but rather bantered with him and treated him for the Guy he is and saw him at his lowest and still stayed. Jamie spending time with the Richmond team and learning how fulfilling it feels to be a good team player, and letting himself be a real person around them and also being vulnerable with Roy because he gets over himself and his prince prick behaviour because he genuinely wants to form real connections with his team so he’ll stop feeling so isolated and then he just becomes so much better. Buck working on being less callous in both his words and actions with his team, realising that his impulsivity can affect other people and learning how to save others more carefully. Buck realising he uses sex to deflect his problems so he starts overcoming his fear of real intimacy by letting more people in.

Steve and Robin beefing at the start but they end up besties. It’s the same with Jamie and Sam, or Jamie and Roy, and again we see it between Buck and the 118 and Buck and Eddie.

The way like all these characters have depth, even if they’re all such a cliches. It's the way that they have so much to them, but the people around them often treat them like they're idiots. Like yes, there have been many, many times where they DO behave like total idiots thus it makes sense that their friends treat them as such, but like, they also have so many moments where they're genuinely smart.

Jamie is rude at the start and lacks tact, but he’s still super strategic both on and off the pitch. It irks me that it takes 3 seasons for him to realise that his team trusts his judgement but the sheer awe and disbelief on his face when he sees that his team is actually listening to him when he’s explaining the Total Football play is so heartwarming. He’s finally seeing that his team isn’t treating him like he’s being stupid on purpose and damn it, this should have happened sooner. Also the fact that Jamie was the only one who executed the play correctly? I love me a smart man.

Then there's Buck who has moments where he's suggesting new rescue tactics and everyone is like, ‘Oh wow Buck that's actually pretty smart!’ Which is so annoying sometimes that they treat him like he never has good ideas. Sure he’s a dork but it shouldn’t be so surprising that he can think on the spot like that. He’s a grown man who’s good at his job and has spent years working an insane variety of jobs which just gives him more experience in so many other things and not just firefighting. Also they keep saying ‘Buck you’re being too Buck’ and they mean it negatively like when he’s genuinely inquiring why people didn’t call Animal Control during that landslide/zoo episode but everyone brushes him off like he’s asking stupid questions? But then other times when he performs well, they say ‘Good job being Buck, Buck,’ like it’s suddenly a good thing. So which one is it? The team treats him like him being himself is a good or bad thing depending on the situation which is kind of fucked up because it shouldn’t be a conditional thing.

And then there’s Steve who often gets treated like he’s stupid by Dustin (which is crazy because they were super buddy-buddy in season 3) and the other kids and it’s like… He was the first one to notice the obvious clue in the the russian code. He’s the one who dove into the lake first because he knows he’s the strongest swimmer. He’s the one that saved Jonathan in season 1 because he had an instinct that something was wrong. People just look at him and think he’s a just some pretty boy with nice hair but he has always saved their asses. He’s selfless and thinks things through despite the others thinking otherwise and he actively wants to be helpful.

Something something people treating Steve, Jamie and Buck like they’re pretty accessories sometimes but they’re all smart and intuitive when need be.

OH! Steve Harrington falling down the popularity ranks when Billy Hargrove gets introduced. Steve realising that he’s not the hottest shit anymore but he doesn’t even care about that in the end. Jamie seeing Zava get integrated into the team and hating his fucking guts, not only because he’s upset about not being the best anymore, but because Zava is tearing up his team’s dynamic. Buck being the coolest guy in the 118 and then Eddie gets introduced so now he has to grapple with these changes that now there’s another cooler guy (but he learns to love him teehee). RAGH!

Their character development is so special to me! It's like their persona literally changes. Like Steve goes from being flirty, arrogant, to wanting a meaningful relationship in season four. His self-identity cracks. He makes up his King Steve persona and pretends to care about being prom king and hangs around Tommy H because he thought that kind of superficial shit mattered but he learns that it doesn’t. He just starts embracing being a babysitter and the more time he spends around real people who actually care about him, the more his old identity chips away and it’s so nice to witness.

Jamie literally goes from being an individual player to such a good team player. He even says it himself that he’s becoming the better kind of man that Keeley said he could be. He's so aware that he wasn't a good person and he actively seeks to build better bridges with everyone. The fact that he put himself out there to individually apologise to everyone in both words and actions because he’s so fucking serious about wanting to stop being a piece of shit and then it works!

And Buck literally calls himself versions Buck 1.0, 2.0 and 3.0 because he KNOWS that he's changing for the better. It happens so early in the show too. He’s learns that he can’t save everyone, learns to stop being afraid to let people see who he is, learns to stand up to his parents, fights to save Maddie and Eddie’s son; just altogether becoming a literal Hero. UGH! I can’t be coherent about Buck’s character journey because it’s so insane to me.

All of them… all of them are like the same! But even though they're same, they have their own individuality to them. BUT STILL! They're all literally the fucking same. It’s clear that I have a favourite and very definitive character archetype.

Anyway! I need a Steve Harrington, Jamie Tartt, Evan Buckley edit right now!

[incubationformadness]

I just finished the latest chapter and I’m absolutely obsessed with Effie and Corisande’s relationship. Her confession about what happened to her went so badly but I think I am becoming a Corisande defender because it’s clear she’s just as stunted by the trauma she endured as Effie is and while their experience is different they both firmly believe that the other is the one that got away/ had it easier and neither one of them is willing to let go of that perspective. Im very hopeful for a Trinket sister reunification in the future of this fic because it’s clear they’re not ready yet but maybe once they’ve had time to process what’s happened to them they will gain the mental capacity to feel empathy for the other. I don’t really know why, but Corisande is so fascinating to me, despite the fact that we only ever see her from Effie’s perspective so I was wondering if you have any headcanons about her character that you can disclose 🤍

Thank you so much!! Corisande (brief as her appearances have been) is such a polarising character because she's very much 'the abused becomes the abuser' while also being such a tortured soul under all that rage. I have a lot of empathy for her - for all that she wants to escape her childhood and remove herself from the past, she arguably clings to it even more than Effie. So, here are some thoughts I have about her:

•Corisande's occupation as a nurse comes from her desire to have complete control over other people. She probably would have become a doctor if the Trinkets had the money for the University - she's much smarter than Effie gives her credit for. I imagine that she abuses her power over patients who she takes a personal dislike to (i.e. denying them pain meds or pretending to be too busy for the call bell). Nonetheless, when dealing with a patient who she likes or feels neutrally about, she is genuinely good at what she does, and definitely has her softer moments. She specifically works with the elderly because she is less likely to face physical threats from them, and she is uncomfortable around children because they remind her of her younger, defenceless self.

•She is generally disliked by her co-workers - she's abrasive and domineering and does not like being told what to do.

•She has difficulties with impulse control - she has been a kleptomaniac from a young age (yes, she does steal from her patients and their families), and went through a period of fire-starting in early adolescence (aged about 13 or so). She received some psychiatric treatment for her self-harm as a teenager, which took the form of head-banging and burning herself, but she was combative with the doctors and so her behaviour was labelled as 'attention-seeking'. As an adult, she's mostly stopped her self-harm (she's still a kleptomaniac though).

•Unlike Effie, who was inclined towards promiscuity in her teenage years, Corisande is actually very sexually inexperienced. This comes from both her belief that she is fundamentally undesirable, and her dislike of the vulnerability which comes with sexual situations. She has instead hired sex workers in the past, which enables her to have control.

•I mention in the notes at the bottom of Chapter 14 that Corisande was subject to a grooming attempt by her father, Thyestes Trinket, which went extremely badly - I believe that due to Effie's confession, Corisande will begin re-evaluating that incident. Prior to Effie's revelation, Corisande simply saw it as an incident of love bombing. It will also help her pinpoint the onset of Effie's sexual abuse, seeing as Effie did not manage to tell her how old she was when it started.

•She does love Effie, in her own way, but she does not know how to deal with her. Her resentment of her younger sister has always overpowered their interactions in the past.

•Kind of random, but she likes to feed pigeons lol. She feels strongly about people giving them stuff that isn't bird food. She also likes raccoons. I think that she feels a certain comradeship with animals which her father would have considered 'vermin'.

•She's athletic and was a competitive speed climber when she was in high school. As an adult she still does climbing, and swims. She liked to draw when she was a teenager as a method of venting, but it was very dark stuff which she never showed to anyone.

•She was naturally a tomboy as a child, but I think that she has grown to dislike femininity as both her sister and mother are traditionally feminine and, in Corisande's view, 'allowed' Thyestes to dominate them (internalised misogyny is a helluva drug). In addition, Thyestes mocked Corisande for her interests, as he considered them 'unladylike'. For Corisande, whatever her father does not like is a win on her behalf.

I don't think that this will be the last we see of Corisande - there's too much emotion tangled up between her and Effie for them to just let go of each other after that. But you're right in saying that they're not ready to reunite just yet...both of them are stunted people, and they can't help but fall back into their childhood rivalry when they are around each other. I think that one of the biggest tragedies of their childhoods is that not only did Thyestes abuse them both, in different ways, but he also drove them apart from each other. Had they been given a healthy upbringing, Corisande would have probably just been the 'older-sister-who-is-sometimes-mean-but-looks-out-for-you', rather than the aggressive, vindictive character we know her as.

Corisande is a character I have considered for a POV chapter (her and Alseid are the biggest candidates)...I don't know if that will ever happen but the possibility is there.

[shihkas]

Like literally just say what you mean. Torture, abuse, conditioning, cults, etc. you don’t need the conspiracy to legitimize your pain or anyone else’s.

Cont'd:

I brought up project monarch because the conspiracy theorists who invented the term ramcoa were referring directly to it and this beta programming etc terminology is all straight up project monarch shit. It can’t be separated. Ramcoa = project monarch = violent antisemitic conspiracy.

This post contains graphic discussion of Nazism, the Holocaust, Nazi experiments, concentration camps, and antisemitism. I also directly address and refute your claim that "RAMCOA = Project Monarch = violent antisemitic conspiracy" in this post.

First of all do not assume I'm "(mis)using terms to legitimize my pain". You do not know me. You do not know anything about me. I used my family's experiences as an example. My family is not me.

Also love how I've been providing source after source after source and you can't even back up your claim that "ritual abuse is an antisemitic dog whistle." You didn't try to refute or deny any of my other claims, or admit that you were wrong in the slightest. And you're continuing to make arguments without any sources. I doubt you even read my post at all actually let alone any of the links.

Just say you don't care about child abuse survivors and leave. But clearly you want to die on this hill (under a read more because this got very long):

Let me first make it clear I do not take antisemitism lightly. Antisemitism is something that should not ever under any circumstance be taken lightly. Let me also make it clear the Holocaust was in and of itself a combination of ritual and organized abuses:

"Ritualized" in the sense that it was compound sadistic forms of abuse (sexual, physical, psychological, etc.) and justified in the name of the Nazis' institutionalized disregard of the humanity of the Jewish people

"Mind control" in reference to their many horrific so-called "experiments" they enacted (this is better described as interrogation techniques/behavioural modification through torture, mind control is a frustrating and inaccurate term)

"Organized" in the sense that... I really shouldn't have to explain this one, they were an entire government body

Nazis themselves conducted and documented their own "mind control experiments/research", as early as the 1920s (see 1.2 on pg2):

First let me clarify, again, mind control =/= the sci-fi depiction of it. It's literally just torturing an individual until they do something they're told without question. This really isn't that fucking hard to do unfortunately

In relation to the above article, "mind control techniques" can be much better described as "interrogation techniques" and that's why people very rarely find anything about "mind control abuse" when they google it, because they're not discussed through the same lens. "Mind control" in the context of the acronym "RAMCOA" is psychiatric terminology, not criminal terminology (not anymore at least)

Part of their "biomedical research" (torture) was testing "truth serums" (refers to mind-altering, aka. "mind-controlling", substances) on their victims. This led to the US recruiting these Nazi scientists and getting their help in the US' own "psychological control" projects, like MK Ultra (see previous link) and Operation/Project Paperclip

So to summarize I have explained how the Nazis' experiments actually laid the foundation of ritual and organized abuse, and how the Nazis heavily contributed to the research into "mind control" itself.

Despite the Nazi roots of ritual abuse, mind control, and organized abuse, people still love to use, uh, let me quote you exactly: "Ramcoa = project monarch = violent antisemitic conspiracy" as an excuse to discredit abuse survivors. Thanks for not citing Any proof of that.

You are quite literally trying to claim that organized abuse inherently equates to a "violent antisemitic conspiracy" which hilariously in and of itself loops back around to antisemitism. You are making assumptions that people calling something an "abusive institution" = "inherently refers to an organization comprised of specifically Jewish individuals" = "antisemitism".

The biggest reason people whine about how "RAMCOA is antisemitic" is because of blood libel:

The term blood libel refers to the false allegation that Jews used the blood of non-Jewish, usually Christian children, for ritual purposes. The Nazis made effective use of the blood libel to demonize Jews, with Julius Steicher's newspaper Der Stürmer making frequent use of ritual murder imagery in its antisemitic propaganda.

Hey isn't it interesting how the source of the word "ritual" in the context of antisemitism was first used by Nazis themselves? I wonder what kind of implications that has?

This relates to allegations of ritual abuse, mind control, and organized abuse because of the many claims that some individuals made during the 80s and 90s while the Satanic Panic was going on, some of which featured accounts of children witnessing/being involved in sacrificial rituals.

These specific accounts were unfounded. There were no convictions directly related to the Satanic Panic. Again, no, there are no documented worldwide satanic cults whose members regularly bathe in the blood of infants.

People also assume RAMCOA = antisemitism because:

Michelle Remembers. This was the real "start" of the Satanic Panic. By the way the psychologist who wrote it married his client (Michelle). Just to illustrate the inherently abusive power dynamic there. Michelle WAS a victim; of Pazder, who used her and overblew whatever experiences she had for profit.

Svali exists unfortunately. Svali is a self-proclaimed "Illuminati survivor" who is well-known because she's very graphic about her fake experiences, and the more graphic something is the more researchers are inclined to look at it, especially when what she writes about is underresearched. Here's an entire Wordpress blog about how much of a fraud she is.

Springmeier's Illuminati literature. Fritz Springmeier is an ACTUAL conspiracy theorist who purports Actual antisemitic conspiracy theories and blood libel. One of his books mentions DID, and an unfortunately popular (fake) DID YouTuber started using parts of his book to map their (fake) system.

The above is likely a big reason why the association with DID and the Illuminati (which should go without saying is inherently ACTUALLY antisemitic in nature) came to the spotlight, and thus DID's association with antisemitism, based on a few bad apples.

On Project Monarch:

Project Monarch as a term comes from ONE INDIVIDUAL. ONE. One singular individual who claimed to have experiences that are actually rooted in some reality because yes MK Ultra did happen and yes there are victims of it, very well known ones at that. Other people started talking about Project Monarch in name ONLY because of O'Brien.

Do I need to mention again that Nazis were involved in MK Ultra? I wonder if they, you know, THE NAZIS, incorporated their horrific antisemitic beliefs into their torture! :)

That's it. That's all that needs to be said about Project Monarch. MK Ultra happened. There were subsections of MK Ultra (Project Monarch was never named as one however, but also keep in mind documents were destroyed (see second paragraph) so).

This woman is claiming to be a survivor. It's not up to me to defend or deny her claims of abuse because I do not know her and also I don't give a shit because her claims are, as I have REPEATEDLY stated and cited, rooted in some proven reality.

You cannot insist that because of the term's "shaky roots" (which that claim literally has no basis, because all of the Satanic Panic allegations were proven to be false) we should no longer use the terminology.

If we are going to go with the argument that "terminology with so-called poisoned/negative roots should never be used": are you gonna go up to a 60 year old transgender man and tell him to stop calling himself "a transsexual" because "uwu that word is offensive now uwuwuw"? Goddamn I sure fucking hope not.

These words aren't For You to use. They are descriptors used either in scientific literature, or for individuals to identify their experience (to label), such as "CSA survivor", "CSEM survivor". You are obsessing over semantics.

The whole idea that RAMCOA = antisemitism is only something I've seen talked about in recent years. Prior to like, 2020 (you know, the year that everyone had to stay in their houses and a bunch of 11 year olds started pretending to have DID and claimed experiences that they simply did not have, thus bastardizing this disorder and ritual abuse in and of itself) I had Never heard of this claim because it is baseless bullshit used to deny the experiences of ritual abuse survivors because, truly, at the end of the day, people just don't want to believe children are being abused.

By the way my grandfather barely escaped Nazi Germany by the skin of his teeth. Just so you know who you're fucking talking to. :)

[gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot]

I have a request for a very general hc for Ghost. I wonder how he demonstrates his care for his subordinates. And I don’t mean Riot or Soap, because we see a lot of good examples of that on your blog) I’m speaking rather of just some unnamed fellow soldier, so no really close ties there. Would Ghost just keep a long polite distance and won’t communicate with them beyond commands? Or maybe he actually does a lot to make their lives just a bit easier, but doesn’t show, it was him, how helped them? Or maybe he even lets himself openly cheer them up and sometimes shares (not too personal) memories with them, just to make them smile? Thank you so much in advance and feel free to ignore this one, if you are comfortable to write only for Riot!

This is actually a really good question, because I myself just play it by ear or plainly assume, but I think writing it down would be nice.

I think Ghost's behaviour is determined by his experiences, both from his childhood and from the hell he's suffered after that.

Childhood - His father was abusive, like, very abusive, including very perverted views about masculinity and expressing feelings and what is and is not a man's job. So expressing feelings or worry about others would feel like a weakness, but on the other hand, he wants to be NOTHING like his father, and it's shown he has a caring nature. He got his adict brother off drugs, he loved his nephew dearly.

Adulthood - He was kidnapped and severely tortured in many ways, which would be enough to strip anyone of their humanity and sanity, but I feel that if he survived was because he is stubborn enough to not just give in. To not become what all those people (his father, Vernon, Roba, ...) wanted him to become or destroy.

In the games it's clear he is a stern, solitary, taciturn individual, but he cares enough to keep talking to Soap, distracting from his wound, guiding him and even cheering him on, so it's clear he cares, even if he's not very physical or vocal about it.

So, NOW ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION (geez I can't be brief it seems, ever)

I think he takes on his shoulders as much as he can, trying to relieve Price of some of his duties. I think that he might not be very vocal or praise the soldiers if they do a good job, instead giving them a simple nod while looking at them directly (which normally would make them piss themselves looking into those dark eyes and the skull mask) or maybe a little 'hmph' while doing so. I think after some time the soldiers under his command start learning the little gestures, the body language, because when someone wears a mask it's difficult to read, so they have to make do.

So a nod when he approves of them, a glare when they're being shits, a firm shake of his head saying NOPE. Or just a glare, I'm sure they freeze.

As for sharing, I think he only shares his awful jokes with them. I don't think he's one to lie about past experiences just to bond, and he's not about to tell anyone not REALLY close to him anything true, so, jokes. Anything to keep their minds off the shit they would be in, in that moment, or to make his soldiers relax.

Maybe from time to time there are mysterious bottles appearing in the common rooms that nobody knows where they came from, but nobody is complaining, and for sure Ghost would deny even knowing what you're talking about, doll.

[tumbleringismycopingmechanism]

(Question comes from this post by @pancake-breakfast . My other answers are linked in my pinned post.)

4. Use at least three of the characters listed below to discuss ways people try to attain comfortableness. Be sure to address the effectiveness of their technique. Characters: Ched, Comfortable Doug, Elk, Gebbrey, General, Glendale, Horse, Sunfish Merguy, Tree Shamans, Wamawink, Whale Shaman, Zulius

Ched:

When Ched was younger he wanted to become a tulip stepping champion. Despite him being actually pretty good at it, he gets rejected by the CentaursTM because he’s a Birdtaur (and then gets treated as a ball after). For the rest of the show we see him trying to heal from this trauma by hating all CentaursTM (and horses) and becoming hypermasculine. He tries to become comfortable two ways: 1) rejecting everyone who reminds him of the ones who treated him poorly (before they can reject him) and 2) leaving the person he was back then as far behind as possible and creating a new persona for himself.

The first point works to a default. It’s good that he removed himself from the toxic situation in which the CentaursTM abused and belittled him. He also doesn’t cut himself off from other people completely and he seems to be quite happy with the herd as his new friends. However, it is unjust of him to be so hostile towards Horse just because she reminds him of the CentaursTM. It’s not even because of her behaviour, it’s just because of looks and thus borderline racist. He invests a lot of time and energy into being mean towards Horse eversince she joins the group and I don’t think someone who spends this much time being angry can be truly comfortable and happy at the same time. If he instead made an effort to see that Horse is nothing like the CentaursTM in any way that matters, I think he might have spent the journey much happier.

Onto the second point: I don’t think changing everything about himself made Ched comfortable either. We see in the final battle that he’s still really fond of (and good at) tulip stepping, so denying himself the fun of doing it for years (possibly decades) must have been hard. While I don’t think he could have competed without going back to the toxic environment of the CentaursTM, he could have still done it in his freetime just for fun. He basically internalised the CentaursTM’s cruel judgement that he couldn’t do tulip stepping just because he was a Birdtaur and instead turned himself into a buff gym-dude. It’s not that this doesn’t seem to bring him some joy as well, but we never see him quite as happy as when he is tulip stepping.

I think to become truly comfortable, Ched would need to learn that what the CentaursTM did was cruel and unjust. He doesn’t have to accept their gatekeeping and can find friends without hiding who he is. In turn, he should try to do better than them and judge a person not by their species, but by who they are.

Comfortable Doug:

When we get introduced to Comfortable Doug he works as a nightguard in the Moletaur jail. At this point in his life he takes his job very serious (e.g. he doesn’t allow for parties in prison) to the point where he even does stuff that’s not in his job description (like acting as a bailiff) but also isn’t overly invested (e.g. doesn’t care in which order the herd goes inside the hole). The biggest comfort he seems to have at this point is that Mary always backs him up and that they „see eye to tiny eye on everything“.

His life changes when he wins Johnny Teatime’s Be Best Competition (hereafter referred to as JTBBC) on accident after getting food poisoning. In The Rift Part 1 he sings that this was when he realized he never did what he wanted or went to find something to make him happy. Winning the sash made him realize that that needed to change and that he didn’t wanna go back to his job as a nightguard in the Moletaur jail where he only ever lived for other people’s wishes.

He says that he has always been called comfortable (because it’s in his name) which could be interpreted as him just never questioning whether he was happy/comfortable or not because everyone else just assumed he was, so he did the same. But now he knows he wasn’t. He tries not to make the same mistake that was done to him – just assuming that everyone is comfortable – and starts asking people whether they are comfortable. However this attempt to do better than people did to him seems kinda superficial since he pretty much just ignores Gebbrey when he’s telling him that he is not actually comfortable. Similarly his final message to Horse in season 1 is to „be comfortable“ which is extremely vague and not really helpful.

In season 2 Doug’s attempt at comfortableness mostly consists of him only doing what he is comfortable doing and nothing beyond that. He seems to have enjoyed JTBBC enough to go back there (according tot he Birdtaurs in S2E2), but we don’t get to see that. What we do see is that he sometimes shows up to be helpful, but as I said never beyond his comfort level. He gives helpful tips about the Coldtaurs and points out the herd forgot Glendale but when asked to dig a tunnel to the Coldtaurs, he refuses. Similarly he is comfortable taking a message from Waterbaby to Rider and from Rider to Horse, but not with helping to free Waterbaby.

Throughout season 2 Comfortable Doug also seems to look for things that help him be more comfortable. For one, he takes a vacation to visit exotic jail cells, maybe to find inspiration or to reclaim some passion that he once might have felt towards his job. He also starts to define himself by being different from all the other Holetaurs; he says he’s the only one who’s curious, with a dynamic mind and refers to himself as beyond physical laws at least twice. With his new attitude seems to come a rise in popularity in the underground, seeing as there is a „Doug 4 Prez“ poster in the hallway when Durpleton looks for Stabby.

In the season finale, we see Comfortable Doug on the battlefield as Flat Dallas. This is interesting because he has spent this season not doing anything that makes him uncomfortable. Yet he claims that war is never comfortable, so here he is back to doing something that makes him uncomfortable. According to the song lyrics he’s „the champion of the little guys“, so he is also back to being the hero of someone else’s story.

While we don’t see what got him to this point, I think this might be him finding a balance between just living for others vs just living for his own comfort. If he was purely acting for comfort and thus avoid the battle, it may have terrible consequences. All the tiny versions would be without a leader in the battlefield and every soldier could make the difference between winning or losing the war. If the Nowhere King wins, then there’s nothing Comfortable Doug can do to ever become comfortable again. So he has to take on this duty, even if it might make him uncomfortable, to guarantee a better future.

Overall I think Comfortable Doug’s attempt at comfort works rather well. He figures out he isn’t comfortable with his life the way it is, tries to figure out ways to remedy that while also trying to learn not to assume other people are comfortable the same way it has been assumed about him all his life, learns to set healthy boundaries but in the end also realizes that sometimes there are things more important than your own comfort.

Elk:

With Elk we see several different attempts at comfort. In the time after his creation he tries to get comfortable just living his day to day life. Even as he reviews this time in his backstory, he remembers that he enjoyed the food. But this attempt is unsuccessful. He grows weary of the loneliness that comes with what he is, half a person and with noone like him. He still loves the Woman and begs his other half to go back to how things used to be.

This is followed by what is probably the most uncomfortable time in his life. After the General tries and fails to kill him, he is locked away in a dungeon cell for ten years, so small he could barely stand and he looks awful when he gets out. He still thinks that the Woman could be what will make him comfortable, mesmerised that she came for him and even willing to get captured again if that means he can stay with her. But she makes it clear that he has to leave and that he should not wait for her. I think it’s because of this moment that we later see him blame her for what he becomes hereafter.

His next attempt at comfortableness is creating the Minotaurs. They are meant as a found family, but this doesn’t work. The Elk creates more and more and more of them, seemingly unaware that he loses more and more of himself in the process. But no matter how many Minotaurs he creates, it does not fill the hole in his soul and slowly he turns into the Nowhere King.

As the Nowhere King, Elk has seemingly accepted that he will never be comfortable, that there is no happy ending for him. „And now, more suffering. It’s all that’s left for us“ he says in the final battle. None of his attempts at comfort have worked out and he is tired of trying. If he cannot be as comfortable as everyone else seemingly is, then at least he can make everyone else as miserable as he is.

His attempt at comfortableness fails, I think, because he never stops to do any introspection. Why does he see the Woman as his only way out of being lonely? Why do the Minotaurs not feel like family? What is the root cause of his unhappiness? Instead of putting in the work to answer these questions for himself, he gives up and takes his frustration out on the world. In his eyes, it has failed to provide him the comfort he asked for, the comfort he deserved. And if he doesn’t get it, then noone else will.

Gebbrey:

Gebbrey spends most of the show being cold. He is in constant discomfort and mentions it pretty much every chance he gets. Most of the time, his discomfort is not even the main point he brings up, but instead that he misses his jacket. To him, the jacket is the only solution to his discomfort. Yet when he gets it back from Glendale, it makes him too hot. So hot in fact that it sets him on fire. He says „Not again“ as this happens, meaning this has happened before. And yet, even as he’s on fire he does not get rid of the jacket. He has idealized this jacket as a solution to his problem to the point where he doesn’t care that it doesn’t work and that it’s actively harming him. Hell, even to a point where he ignored that it already didn’t work in the past. Yet he refuses to look for other options.

Finding another option that could actually satisfy his needs without hurting him would probably take time and effort. He may stumble accross a lot of other options that also don’t work. If you do that for long enough, chances are you start to get hopeless and frustrated. What Gebbrey does instead is pinning all his hopes on an unreachable object. He doesn’t wanna try other things that could warm him up, he wants his jacket specifically. He can ignore the fact that the jacket didn’t work out in the past. Maybe he tells himself it was the circumstances, or maybe he knows that yes, the jacket made him too warm, but being cold now is so much worse, so really, how bad could it be to going back to being too warm?

This mindset is not affective for Gebbrey getting comfortable. He spends all his time in misery being cold. Yes, trying anything but the jacket might take time, but would it really take more time than hoping for something he might never get back? Something that never really served his specific needs to begin with? With this specific jacket he will only ever have the choice between two uncomfortable extremes: too hot or too cold. Gebbrey should learn to let go of that jacket and start looking for something that actually meets his needs.

General:

The General is obsessed with being the ideal human man. As half of the Elktaur he spent a lot of his life being seen as lesser, and instead of realizing that the people who excluded him were cruel and unjust, he decided to turn himself into the perfect human. This includes marrying a Princess and becoming a war hero. But it’s all just an act.

When we first get introduced to the General, he’s making fun of Rider for being nervous. He leads her on for a bit before he reveals his identity to her. Under normal circumstances this would be perceived as being a fun and charasmatic guy, especially since he’s acting very cool about the stuff she said before she realized who he was. (On first watch of the series it even might seem this way to the viewer.) But if you think about it: They’re at war and this just costs valuable time, especially since he knows she’s there to speak to him on important matters.

He then lies not only about his past but about knowing Centaurworld in general. As we learn in later episodes, this is so that his cover won’t blow. Making sure that everyone thinks he’s human (and always has been) is one of the two things he holds onto for his comfort. The second one is making sure that everyone assumes he’s a hero and overall a good guy.

To secure this second one, he has become a general. Not only does he lead this war, he leads it in a way that makes sure he looks good, without actually doing the thing that would be best. He leads an attack at the Nowhere King’s castle – something that was predictably a bad idea – and loses an entire battalion. After that, he would of course look like a bad leader if he tried that again (with probably similar results), so he immediatly decides that the human army will go from offence to defense. Only when Waterbaby holds her speech and he sees his army cheer for her does he change his opinion again, likely to not fall into his men’s disgrace. If the concerns he listed to Rider to justify his decision on going into defense were genuine, he would stand by them and accept that this might make him unpopular. But his opinion swings with the masses.

His need to be seen as the hero is however still trumped by his need tob e seen as a „real human“. He risks being seen openly killing Rider on the battlefield (which would for sure make him look like a bad guy instead of a hero) to maintain his human cover. And he doesn’t end the war – which would most certainly be seen as heroic – because that would immediatly betray his none-humanness. He would need to either go back to being the Elktaur by reuniting himself with his other half or he would need to kill himself, knowing that the Nowhere King could not survive with his other half dead. But both of these would betray his connection, and reduce him back to the status of centaur, which he avoids at all costs.

Speaking of which: Despite having been a centaur and being on the receiving end of distrust and resentment, the General now perpetuates those things himself, claiming that he cannot trust the centaurs. He has rejected everything Centaurworld stands for so hard and for so long that he is completely devoid of empathy – not for his soldiers, not for Rider, not for his other half, not even for the Woman, seeing as he still tries to manipulate her after all that’s happened.

This attempt at comfortableness works for him. He enjoys his new life and what he has become, even if it hurts everyone else and he can’t be truely close with anyone. Not once do we see him doubt that he’s exactly where he wants to be, doing exactly what he wants to do. I doubt that he would realize that this is not a good way to find comfort even once he is revealed to be neither human nor a hero. He would just be angry that he lost everything he fought for. I think it would take him a lot of introspection (that he is unlikely to be willing to do) to figure out another way to become happy.

(Also, isn’t it fucked up that the only being in whose presence he seems to be genuinly happy is a horse that enjoys committing war crimes?)

Glendale:

Glendale (according to herself) steals to feel more comfortable. However, in her backstory she admits that stealing makes her feel both free and nervous. This means she is aware that stealing doesn’t actually help with her anxiety. In fact I think it adds to it because thanks to the stealing she’s constantly suspicious people might wanna take back what she stole and try to arrest her. I think the reason she still does it is that she would feel anxious regardless, but when she steals she also feels free in addition to that (which has to be better than feeling just anxious).

The reason she starts stealing is unclear but I think there are two possibilities based on what we learn in the backstory episode. For one, she claims that her tummy tells her to do it. This could mean a couple of things – Glendale might have an undiagnosed mental illness that manifests as the voice of her tummy. Or maybe the voice comes with the portal tummy magic and she’s the only one who hears / understands it (like Durpleton with his farts). Or maybe it’s not even meant literally and Glendale just has a gut feeling that tells her when / what to steal.

The other possible reason that Glendale starts stealing (and I think this one’s slightly more substancial) is that stolen objects can’t leave her. When she first meets Wammawink she tells her that she used to have parents (but doesn’t anymore) and that everyone just leaves her after a while. But stolen stuff (that she stores in her tummy no less, where it can’t really be taken back from unless she allows for it) can’t leave her.

The other thing we see her use to try and calm her anxiety is breathing in a bag. It’s something Wammawink introduced her to and that she in turn introduces to the Coldtaurs. What I find a bit odd about it is that it doesn’t really seem to help her. She never stops stealing throughout the entire series. I think maybe to completely feel comfortable she should have explored other safe methods that work against her anxiety and gradually understand that they are better for her than stealing. Also maybe she should have reflected on why she feels the need to steal in the first place and do something against the root problem.

Overall I don’t think Glendale’s attempt at comfortableness works very well, because the stealing just adds to her anxiety in the long run. I think she should instead follow her own advice that she gives the Coldtaurs and find healthy coping mechanisms that work for her and don’t hurt others.

Horse:

Horse’s sense of comfort is closely tied to her abilities as a soldier and her relationship with Rider. At the beginning of the show we see her very confident in the former, while the latter has been disturbed by her unwilling travel to Centaurworld. She aims to get back to what she thinks of as her personal comfort situation: fighting side by side with Rider in the human world.

At this point, Horse loves fighting, the „crushing of skulls beneath [her] hoves“, and she misses Rider „like a phantom limb“. Throughout her journey she learns she can be – is in fact – more than just a war horse. She gets more in touch with her emotional side, learns to defend herself with other strategies than just brute force and confrontation, discovers her magic and learns to joke and perform show-stopping musical numbers. These new parts of her however don’t add to her comfort (yet), but stress her out. She worries that with them, her two most defining characteristics are gone.

It’s only when she realizes that they’re not that she starts becoming more accepting of herslef as she is now. With The Rift Part 2 she has demonstrated both that she is still capable of fighting and that Rider still is her closest friend and loves her. Now that she knows her new parts don’t take away from that, she seems a lot more comfortable with them. Still, by the end of the episode she defines herself as „the horse who is going to build an army of Centaurs“. Her need to be seen as a good soldier still trumps her wish to be reunited with Rider.

I doubt that being comfortable has ever been on Horse’s priority list. In the world she lives in, having your comfortable dream life is just not a realistic option and so she never even allows herself to imagine it or strive for it, to the point that at the beginning of the series it seems like she doesn’t even know what she’s fighting for. She has convinced herself that killing is fun and that being a good war horse is what Rider expects of her.

In season 2 we see her struggle with this once again as she feels incapable when assembling an army. While she has accepted her new parts, she still needs to be a soldier so that she can hold onto her past identity. She has such a fixed mindset that being a good soldier would mean being the one who assembles the army on her own without any help that she can’t even register how well she works as a team with the herd and what she contributes, just because she isn’t doing it all by herself. For example, she is the one who strategically thinks of which centaurs would make good allies and which war strategies could prove effective. But her friends are the ones who are better at selling this idea to the specific centaur groups in a way that’ll make them actually agree.

What helps her become more comfortable here is seeing that she’s not the only one who struggles or who didn’t get what she was hoping for, by stepping through the herd’s backstories. But only when she jumps into the Nowhere King’s backstory in the final episode does she fully realize that she doesn’t need to be this old version of herself to be comfortable. For one, suddenly getting her old body back might have helped with this realization – she is horrified by it, not comforted as she might have expected before. But also the circumstances – namely that she thinks she will never be able to get back to her friends – give her a new perspective, and she realizes that living up to the exepectations that you and others may have for yourself isn’t a guarantee for happiness, but finding people who love you as you are might be.

After this realization we see that Horse doesn’t fight in the final battle. She instead stays with Rider. Being the perfect battle horse is no longer important, instead she’s comforting her best friend as she’s in pain. Not even when it’s down to just the Woman against the General and the Nowhere King does she leave Rider’s side now. And after the war is won, she decides her comfortable life is one surrounded by her friends, living together in Centaurworld.

Horse’s attempt at comfortableness is for the most part an unconcious one. She has never stopped to think what comfort would look like to her, let alone tried to persue it. (Unlike Rider, who in the Becky Apples episode remarks that she wishes she could just enjoy riding out with Horse „because we want to, not because we have to“.) She has internalized that she needs to be the perfect soldier and the show depicts her journey of unlearning that, of realizing she can be other things, that she can do things that bring her fun and joy and that she can spend time with loved ones even if it’s not for a battle mission. She only „attempts“ this life as the series‘ finale, so it’s hard to judge if it’s successfull in the long run. But it has a better chance at success than trying to be perfect at something that you only became out of neccessity.

Sunfish Merguy:

Sunfish Merguy’s attempt at comfortableness seems to be to just go with the flow / create as little conflict as possible. We see this right from his introduction, where he says he intentionally calls himself Sunfish Merguy because his real name is too hard to pronounce for others. He seems to have no problem with adapting his name, even prefering it to simply teaching people how to pronounce his name. He’s very friendly to the herd and invites them to play games and ride rides while they’re waiting. According to himself (saying so in Comfortable Doug’s song in S1E9) he is fairly comfortable with his way of living.

However, this chill, go-with-the-flow attitude is harmfull to the people around him. He doesn’t say what the Whaletaur will do, doesn’t try to prevent it once the Whaletaur shows up and can just casually ignore it once it’s happened. All this because it would make him uncomfortable (we see his discomfort as the Whaletaur shows up). And the herd is (understandably) disturbed by this attitude. For his own comfort’s sake he interupted Horse when she was trying to talk about her problems and thus made them worse.

His idea of helping others to become more comfortable is the arcade he’s built. There they can play silly games instead of adressing whatever problem the visitors may have. However, you can’t solve problems by ignoring them and even the most fun games will get dull after a while, if you’re even in a mood to test them to begin with. But talking about problems goes against his fun, relaxed attitude, so when the Whaletaur comes he just gives up and afterwise pretends like nothing happened.

I could also see this avoidant tendencies causing relationship problems for him in the future. We can see in S1E8 that he’s something between friendly and flirty with Wammawink, matching her energy. While I don’t think he’s actively trying to cheat on Jeffica (he is very casual when he mentions that he’s in a relationship in the end and never does anything with Wammawink), he also doesn’t stop Wammawink’s constant flirting. While I think it might be possible that he’s just very bad at reading social clues and thus doesn’t understand that Wammawink is flirting, I think it’s more likely that he just ignores it to not kill the flow. The fact that he doesn’t bring up that Wammawink’s objectification of Mertaurs disturbs him (despite his initial disgusted reaction to her magazine) speaks for this idea. Both Wammawink and Jeffica end up being hurt by this, and both of them „blame“ the other one instead of Sunfish Merguy.

Tree Shamans:

The Tree Shamans try to make people comfortable by giving them what they need, even if they themselves don’t know what that is yet. While I think this is a good approach, I also think it could be handled better.

What I like about the approach is going for needs instead of wants. For example, if someone came who wanted all the riches in the world and they’d just give that to them, eventually that person would just want more and more and more. However if they searched for the need that’s at the root of this want, they can figure out a more permanent solution. (It also prevents harm because many might come to them with a wish to hurt others but I doubt that anyone needs to hurt others.)

The first example I wanna use for this is Wammawink. She comes to the Tree Shamans after her village got destroyed and everyone she knew and loved died. I’m not sure they were actually right in saying that what Wammawink requested wasn’t what she needed. She was still really small and she clearly was in need of company, both to have someone to comfort her but also because meeting their social needs are really important for children (hell, even for adults). Wammawink didn’t just loose her parents, she lost everyone and everything. I doubt that the Tree Shamans could have brought her family back (I doubt anyone in Centaurworld has any ressurection magic), but she would have definitely needed adult guidance and friends (and probably therapy). And the Tree Shamans weren’t even all that compassionate in their refusal, which just makes this all the sadder.

The other example is Ched getting turned into a horse. Yes, he has horse-related trauma that he needed to work on. However, turning him into a horse without consent is not going to do that. For one it clearly gives him body dysmorphia. He struggles even with walking after he is turned. Then there’s also the fact that it changed absolutely nothing; Ched is no more compassionate with Horse after than he was before. He also never seems to understand why he was turned, which defeats the point. What he might have needed was something like therapy.

I think the major problem with the Tree Shamans attempt at helping people become more comfortable is that they may be able to tell what someone needs. But instead of telling the person and working out something together that helps with that, they simply decide that they know best and then don’t even ask for consent before magicking their solution.

Wammawink:

Wammawink suffered a great loss as a child. She loses not only her parents but her entire village in the Great War. As a result of that, her attempt at being comfortable is making sure she will never again lose her loved ones, her found family. Even when she is still a small child she becomes overprotective after her loss, trying to make sure that the Ladybugtaur doesn’t leave her and practicing her protective bubble magic. It’s the same magic she uses when we are first introduced to her, at that point used to keep everyone she loves under a huge protective dome.

This attempt to ensure her trauma doesn’t repeat itself works from her point of view. She is good enough at magic to protect her found family from most of the dangers in Centaurworld. She is under the impression that as long as they don’t fight, they are not in danger, and that their life together under the dome is a perfect paradise. In the backstory episode we see that she even encourages Glendale’s stealing as a (poor) coping mechanism if that means she will stay with her.

However, the herd sees this differently. They are bored with doing the same things every day and jump at the opportunity to be more adventurous when Horse suggests it. The Beartaur episode proves furthermore that Wammawink’s overprotectiveness has left the herd unable to survive on their own. With Wammawink out of the picture they don’t even know how to get food and are incapable of fighting the Beartaur, leading to them leaving Horse to fend for herself. This issue is unfortunately never brought up again in a meaningful way and we don’t see how the herd grows out of Wammawink’s infantilisation, they are just suddenly capable, seemingly out of nowhere.

Beyond her overprotectiveness, Wammawink also tries to make Horse her best friend, she even seems to not only want but need this to happen. She seems disappointed whenever Horse points out that she and Rider have been best friends her entire life and that Wammawink will not be able to take up that position.

Overall I think once again this is an attempt at comfortableness that works to a point. It’s good that Wammawink created her own found family instead of swearing off of love after her loss. I also think it’s positive that she learns to fight / defend so that she wouldn’t feel so helpless if anything bad happened again. But her need to mother everyone and protect them from everything is overbearing to a point where it might have easily cost her everything. Who knows how long the herd would have put up with living the boring life under the dome before they would have finally had enough and demanded to leave? Wammawink’s overprotectiveness also brought them in a situation where they were just as helpless as she used to be (if not more) and that might have cost them their lives one way or another if Wammawink had been knocked out for much longer. Lastly, it’s a surprise that her constant pushing at Horse to become best friends and to value her as much as if not more than Rider didn’t push Horse further away from her.

It seems as though by the end of the series Wammawink has found a more evenly balanced way to treat her found family. They are allowed lives outside of interacting with her and she trusts them to be able to fight for themselves should they need to.

Whale Shaman:

The Whale Shaman tries to give other people comfort by taking away their pain. In theory that sounds really good and very nice oft he Whaletaur to do, however it comes with a whole lot of problems.

For a start, the Whaletaur will only come to see you when your problems have become so severe that you basically sit at the bay crying. Anything that might have been an easy to solve problem is thereby getting worse and worse until you reach a point where you accept the idea of getting swallowed, having your pain absorbed and never returning to your life.

That leads to the next problem. While the Whale Shaman might take away the pain, it thereby also removes your memories and personality. You might forget all the bad stuff, but you also forget all the happy memories until your an empty, unfeeling shell of the person you used to be. And in the end you also die in there, with no chance to ever get your life back on track and possibly (from your loved ones‘ point of view) vanished without a trace and forever missed. Which also opens the possibility that the Whaletaur, by trying to take away the pain, actually creates new one. How many people might have gone there to be swallowed because they thought their loved ones were gone forever and they couldn’t deal with the grieve?

Lastly, the swallowing does not only bring the ones being swallowed just a very shallow, twisted kind of comfort, but it’s also bad for the Whaletaur herself. She has to feel the pain of all those people and is constantly crying because of it.

What the Whaletaur Shaman could do instead is encourage them / help them solve the problem. We see that she vaguely tries this with Horse, although just like the herd she doesn’t really find the right words. I think what the Whaletaur does could be interpreted as giving out very strong antidepressants in the wrong dosage without any additional help to deal with the depression (like therapy, support groups etc.), which is not a good way to actually help or give comfort. We see with Wammawink’s rescue mission that even just acknowledging the pain and the fact that it sucks could be a good first step to make someone feel heared. Brainstorming solutions together could be another great step. This way the Whaletaur could help others get more comfortable with their lives in a more productive way and without having to sacrifice her own peace of mind for it.

Zulius:

Zulius actually seems extremely comfortable in his skin most of the time. The only time he isn’t is in Cattaur Valley. I think that’s because he’s usually being himself, not over- or underperforming anything for the benefit of others, but in Cattaur Valley he suddenly feels the need to conform to their standards. He’s clearly upset the Cattaurs don’t value him as beautiful, that he never won the sash, that not even his efforts were valued and that he’s seen as old by Splendib and the Glitter Cats.

He then overcompensates by wearing an outfit that very much gives „What’s up fellow kids?“-vibes (given that we see in the Durpleton backstory that Zulius is at least a few years older than him and that Durpleton is about 47 at that point, Zulius would at least be in his 50s). For the rest of the episode he seems to both enjoy being Horse’s trainer for the competition but also overly stressed about it and projects the same ideals that hurt him on Horse way too hard (even going so far as to slap her when she doesn’t see the point). He seems to have internalized that just trying / having fun / being yourself isn’t good enough. However when Horse sings that she „just can’t even right now“ he snaps out of it and nods at her in support.

When Comfortable Doug gets awarded the sash he seems to actually get (instead of just trying to convonce himself before) that JTBBC is just arbitrary bullshit. For the rest of the series he goes back to just being himself. He has the most fun and seems the most comfortable when he gets to produce something (the show for the Birdtaurs, the hootenanny). It’s through being his authentic self that he then also gets (back?) together with Splendib.

[radfemverity]

Be very mindful of people who use unrelenting denialism to dismiss a very real pattern, cultural phenomena, or circumstance which you’re trying to point out to them. The chances are they just literally don’t want to know, because the truth of the matter either makes them feel uncomfortable, contradicts their flawed value system, or both.

The denier usually displays a sequence of behaviour that comes in four stages. When confronted with your observation, say, for example you are highlighting the risk that trans-identified men pose to women when placed in their prisons, they will respond in this order:

1. “Nope. That literally never happens. You’re a conspiracy nut/delusional/*insert buzzword here, most likely transphobia*.”

Then, when you present them with multiple clearcut examples, citing mainstream media sources that they cannot so easily discard they way they would with a smaller, alternative media source:

2. “But my point still stands, that this is uncommon. Why are you so focused in on this tiny thing? Your *insert buzzword here* is showing.”

Then, when the issue bubbles in prominence, leaves the niche corner of the internet from whence it came, and becomes more socially acceptable to publicly assert due to the overwhelming evidence:

3. “Okay but I don’t see why you have such a big issue with this? Why don’t you talk more about *insert totally separate issue here as a means to shift the goalpost*? Because by focusing so much on this specific thing, you’re just inciting hatred/promoting ignorance.”

This stage attempts to toe the line between not explicitly acknowledging the existence of the problem, but also not condoning it (because they quietly know that it does exist – that it is very real), instead choosing to insult the character and motivations of the claimant.

Many deniers will stop there, but the more spiteful and maliciously motivated among them will escalate to:

4. “Yeah well they brought it on themselves anyway. They fucking deserve it.”

I have noticed this across all sides of the political spectrum, both sexes, and all age groups, with so, so many different issues, including, but not limited to:

- TRAs denying TIMs’ abuse of women in women’s prisons, domestic abuse shelters and hospital wards

- TRAs denying how ‘gender identity’ has replaced biological sex in the practice of state institutions across the West (eg on passports)

- TRAs denying how self ID laws will be abused by ‘cis’men who do not sincerely consider themselves trans, but will claim to be to gain access to, and film women and girls in, changing rooms and toilets

- Catholics denying priests’ sexual abuse of children in the Church

- Conservative parents denying religiously influenced child abuse within their communities

- Healthcare practitioners and defenders of differing countries’ healthcare systems denying the prevalence of medical misogyny, the pathologising of women and girls, and the dismissal of their symptoms, which results in delayed diagnoses turning terminal and/or causing death

- The ‘progressive’ British left denying the targeted mass-grooming of working class white girls by Muslim, mostly Pakistani, men

- The ‘progressive’ British left denying that the government are buying out fancy private hotels to put up male illegal migrants in

- The political left across most of the Western world denying the recent demographic changes to its countries, and the cultural changes that come with that

- Men of all political orientations denying that women on porn sets are tricked with dodgy contracts, blackmailed, drugged, gangraped, and sex trafficked, and that this is the footage they see on PornHub and wank off to

- People across the world, of all nationalities, ages, sexes, socioeconomic statuses, and political orientations denying the larger-than-officially-acknowledged likelihood of suffering adverse side effects to the various Covid19 vaccinations, or the coercive policies of governments across the West to maximise the number of people who felt compelled to have it

The point of the diverse range of examples above is not to make a value judgement (you may not consider some of those things as ‘issues’, instead believing that they are good. That is your right), but rather 1. to point out just how bloody common this pattern of behaviour is, especially among those who consider themselves politically progressive, and 2. to potentially aid anyone who reads this in pointing it out in future discussions.

We do not live in a transparent political culture. People employ all sorts of backward mental gymnastics to justify their harmful beliefs, just because they make them feel better, and feel like they are supporting a good cause. That’s really all mainstream left wing progressivism is in the Global North: doing what feels good and makes you look good to your peers (this is why radical feminism is seen by the woke lot as right wing. We don’t operate off of that value system. We don’t do what feels nice in the moment, we want actual fucking results). So we need to be able to reply with: “If you are going to support [x] thing, bloody well be honest about the potential consequences that you have absolutely no problem with taking place.” We need to stop giving these people plausible deniability, and allowing them to fall back on “well I couldn’t have possibly known that [y] bad thing would happen if [x] thing was implemented.” Because yes you did.