#And now the other shit featured that ISN'T Star Wars

[blueberrybanee]

Welcome back to another 1 am (and later than that) post

Today's bullshit;.....Gartic Phone with the boys (We are all really bad at this game)

Please ignore how terrible these drawings are, drawing on a time crunch and from memory is really hard lmfao

@linminty @twixedworlds @white-knight7255 Thanks guys for goofing around with me💙

I need to go to bed and drink water, my throat hurts from laughing non-stop for like 3 hours on a call

[cringecompanionapologist]

In Which I Do an Obviously Bad Idea

So, back in the day, the day being one in 2006, there was a LiveJournal post called Doctor/Turlough: The Shipper's Manifesto, or something like that, going over the appeal of Five and Turlough as characters and as a slash pairing, while also recommending which TV episodes, BF audios, and novels were good for shipping. Since this was 2006, a lot of stuff that I'd recommend is left out, due to not existing at the time. But, by this point, the VMA and PDA ranges of novels had wrapped up, so all the Turlough novels that exist now existed in 2006. They are described in the post thusly:

The novel Imperial Moon is missing, but it's not very slashy either. The slash fandom of the era considered most of the books unremarkable, provided the standard warning for The King of Terror, and said to avoid Turlough and the Earthlink Dilemma.

Notice how despite the standard warning for The King of Terror, the manifesto doesn't warn you not to read it. The only book that they straight up Do Not Recommend is Earthlink Dilemma. This was the first place I ever saw it discussed at all.

So, either this book is really bad or really pisses off Five/Turlough shippers specifically. Or both. I'm guessing both. But, one of the best ways to get someone to do a thing is to tell them NOT to do the thing. So I wanna what the fuck is going on.

To start out with, let's talk about why Earthlink Dilemma is a thing in the first place. Unlike basically every other Doctor Who novel that isn't a novelization of a TV story, Turlough and the Earthlink Dilemma is not a product of the Wilderness Years. In 1994, the Virgin Missing Adventures launched as a line of books telling new stories about Doctors 1-6 (7 was considered the current Doctor at the time). Earthlink Dilemma came out in 1986.

There as been Doctor Who EU material for almost as long as there has been Doctor Who, with the TV comics starting up in 1964. Other than those, there were the annuals containing more comics and short stories. Most of these had very little to do with the actual show. They were cash-ins.

The first Doctor Who Novella, Doctor Who and the Invasion from Space, was released in 1966. It also had very little to do with the show. There were already novelizations of a handful of serials out by this point and there would be many more, but outside of those, the idea of Doctor Who in novel form was pretty much abandoned.

The big change began in 1980, with John Nathan Turner becoming producer for Doctor Who. He proceeded to fuck a lot of shit up and one of the ways he fucked shit up was by pandering to the fanbase, treating them as the primary audience of the show. But, this had some positives. The TV Comic stories died out around the same time fanzines starting doing their own comics. One of these, Doctor Who Weekly, which became Doctor Who Monthly, which became Doctor Who Magazine, was given a sort of official status. JNT gave them a lot of interviews. But the important thing to this story is that we got better comics done by people familiar with the actual show.

Through this process, the BBC started to get more control of the Doctor Who EU and now they wanted to cash-in. Sort of. Target, the company that released the novelizations, was down to do original Doctor Who novels, but not ones featuring the actual Doctor. Instead, spin-off novels starring companions would be a thing. Thus, in 1986, The Companions of Doctor Who series began. And the very first one was Turlough and the Earthlink Dilemma.

Now, the Companions line didn't last very long. The fandom didn't seem too into it, so it ended up being only three books, all following the continuing adventures of companions after leaving the TARDIS. Here's a list of literally all of them:

The series only lasted a little over a year.

Take note of the authors of these stories. Harry Sullivan's War was written by Ian Marter AKA The Guy Who Played Harry Sullivan. K9 and Company was supposed to be a TV series but it never got past the pilot. What we've got here is a novelization of said pilot. Terence Dudley wrote several Doctor Who serials, so, like Ian Marter, he had experience with the show. Ian Marter, along with playing Harry, wrote a few of the Target novelizations. Basically, both of them were experienced Doctor Who writers.

K9 and Company is basically never talked about as a novel. I can't find much commentary on Harry Sullivan's War either. In general, all three of these books are mostly forgotten. But, Harry Sullivan's War and K9 and Company have the advantage of being written by people who at least somewhat knew what they were doing.

But then there's Tony Attwood. It was hard to find anything on this guy. His page on TARDIS wiki just says he wrote Earthlink Dilemma. He has no Wikipedia page, though there is a Tony Attwood that does. It's not the same Tony Attwood. The most I could dig up for Tony Attwood as a writer of fiction was Earthlink Dilemma and something for Blake's 7. So, not an established Doctor Who writer, nor even really an established writer. It's hard to say how this guy even ended up writing this novel. So, I think a portions of Earthlink Dilemma's failure was a tragic case of No One Knows What They're Doing.

According to the introduction at the beginning of the book, Mark Strickson himself seemed to like it. He was consulted for the book. However, Peter Grimwade, the writer who basically created Turlough was not. I can't find a source for this, so it might just be bullshit gossip, but apparently Grimwade was actually kinda pissed about this. He felt like Turlough was his creation. Considering that he wrote the novelizations for the Turlough serials he wrote, one wonders why he wasn't given the project of writing The Turlough Novel. Mark Strickson found the character pretty vague and JNT's idea for the character was pretty vague, so Grimwade seems to be the only person involved in Turlough's creation who really knew the character at this point.

From the few people who've read Earthlink Dilemma, Turlough's characterization is criticized, usually considered to be out-of-character. But it doesn't seem like Attwood believed there was a character to get wrong, because Strickson was frustrated with being given nothing to do. So Turlough's characterization was probably considered something that could be created for the novel. To be fair, the show did, in fact, fail to give Turlough much to do, so whatever personality he was given was rarely on display. Later novelists and BF writers actually managed to expand on the vague, small amount of characterization in the show.

Anyway, I'ma do a stupid and read Earthlink Dilemma. I intend to blog about it here, both to motivate myself to keep going, and to make sure that someone talks about the book in enough detail that reading it for oneself will no longer be necessary. If the book really is a trainwreck, I can save people from it.

For now, to start out with, I'll talk about the introduction. Mark Strickson left a note for the readers at the beginning of the book and he says some interesting things.

Of course, if you ask Turlough's fandom, the various states of bondage are often one of the things we like about the character, but it probably wasn't as interesting to play as it is to watch.

Two things stand out here:

The first is the sense of humor. Big Finish tends to give Turlough a lot of funny lines, so that's an aspect of the character that continued to be expanded upon, though most of the humor is based on Turlough being various levels of Done with everything.

The second thing that jumps out is the romantic side. This implies that Turlough's gonna get a girlfriend. In was 1986, so an explicit gay romance would've been considered subversive enough that he'd explicitly reference it if there was one. So, Strickson is actually all for Turlough being straight.

Note: I don't intend this as an insult. He perceives Turlough as straight when a large audience perceives him as gay, but saying "I didn't intend for this to be gay and thought my character was straight." isn't a rejection of gay characters existing or condemning the fandom interpretation. I will continue to say Turlough Gay because that's the vibe I get from him, but as far as I can tell, all the queer-coding around Turlough was unintentional. This makes sense with the philosophy of the showrunners at the time. They didn't want to do anything controversial and the didn't want romance or, even worse, sexuality, to factor into the show at all. This means that no matter how easy it is to see the entire Fifth Doctor Era as full of queer-coding, the writers absolutely did not have the guts to do it on purpose.

As for how the queer-coding got there, I have a theory. Peter Grimwade was gay and he based Brendon School on some of his one public school experiences. Since we mostly see Brendon through Turlough's eyes, he might've accidentally taken on the traits of a teenaged Grimwade. Turlough Gay because the primary influence on the character was gay and being autobiographical at that moment. Later writers, not knowing what to do with the character, carried on projecting that vibe.

Of course, this is speculating on the psyches of real people, so I can't say that for certain. I don't know these people.

I do get this amusing vibe that Strickson wanted Turlough to be a romantic lead when the companions were never the lead during this era and romance wasn't allowed at all. So, we know that something usually considered out-of-character for Turlough will be present in this novel.

Lastly, there's this:

Mark Strickson draws a little tie for his signature and I love it.

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "The Wynkahthu Job"

The space = ocean metaphor really getting stretched here.

Hoo boy, here we go.

Hondo's converted the Imperial shuttle he stole into his new pirate ship. Mostly by way of strapping cargo crates to the top like it's a minivan lol.

Love how literally no one but Ezra is happy to see Hondo.

"But it all worked out in the end right?" It in fact did not work out in the end my love, you lost the Phantom and nearly fell to your death in a gas cloud.

Azmorigan wiping his earwax off onto the door panel, gross.

Yeah no I'm with Hera on this one I wouldn't want to work with him either.

I SHOULDN'T LAUGH BUT HONDO'S BLIND JOKES ARE ACTUALLY KIND OF HILARIOUS.

Right so, Rebels kind of leans into this whole aesthetic of depicting space with ocean and seafaring metaphors, which I guess ties back into the whole idea that Star Wars is Space Fantasy, not science-fiction, imbued with the romanticism and swashbuckling adventure of weekly serials. We have knights and princesses and pirates, the most iconic weapon is a sword (Ezra's first lightsaber in particular is kind of akin to a rapier, and his fighting style evokes fencing), we have ancient wayfinders (bo-rifles and Lasat culture) and migrating pods of whales. And now we have a shipwreck being slowly drawn in by a whirlpool.

It's a pretty cool reoccurring element.

Ezra still looks a bit uncomfortable with Hondo's affectionate shoulder wraps.

I love that they brought AP for this mission, he's always hilarious.

Oh good we're at scene the first of my least favorite part of this episode, Ezra randomly being an ass for no real reason. It's especially jarring and grating after the maturity he showed last episode so frankly I'm just kind of going to wander away from that plot thread and ignore it whenever it happens, it's dumb and I refuse to entertain it.

There isn't even any real lesson learned??? Ezra never apologizes for being a shit and Hondo proves he is actually a good and loyal friend by coming back for the finale so what was even the point of this contrived piece of conflict? Nglh.

"This is your plan!" "I have factored that in. Without me your chances would be almost zero." <33333 I love him.

Hondo and Azmorigan play off each other hilariously.

Keen-eyed can spot Melch running around the corridors in the background.

I'm remembering why I tend not to like stories centered around or heavily featuring Chaotic Neutral characters, all the times Hondo's double-crossed someone gets very tiring and hard to keep up with.

"You attacked an Imperial ship." "We do it all the time." "Exac--Really?" I DIED. I LOL-ED AND I DIED.

That sighing eyeroll from Ezra in the background there ha ha.

I really am going to have to refrain from quoting Hondo every single time he makes me laugh, but this line about how they used to get none of the truth is hitting me right in the funnybone.

The gag with the door is great too.

Oh! The whole nautical swashbuckling adventure vibe I mentioned? Yeah, now they're gonna fight enchanted skeletons. In the form of the sentry droids.

The cable ziplines make this feel a little like a heist movie.

Ignoring this whole exchange...

Oohhh they are taller than Zeb, that's scary.

AP-5 FORGOT TO INCLUDE THE SENTRY DROIDS IN HIS SCENARIO CALCULATING LOL.

Hello Darktrooper precursor.

AP-5's sullen disappointment when Ezra tells them the first sentry droid got blasted lolol. AP you could have saved everyone a LOT of headache by just forewarning them about the droids.

This whole exchange. <333

Ezra that "I'll catch up." was dangerously close to "I'm right behind you." and also the last time you used that phrase you found Maul lurking in a pit. Do not tempt karma like that.

The sentry droids show a remarkable amount of strategic intelligence shooting the cable out rather than continuing to fire at Zeb and Ezra.

Worried Sabine be worried. :)

"It's okay! Zeb's got him! [Ezra]"

*raises eyebrow*

Interesting specification, Sabine.

This bit is pretty awesome.

And wow that was a quick climax.

Eyyyyy Melch is fine! And taught Hondo a lesson hopefully, lol.

This episode frustrates me because on the one hand it is HILARIOUS and I love the spacemariner and swashbuckling aesthetics of it but on the other hand *gestures to all of that*. With some tweaking this could have been the funniest episode of the series but as it is it just winds up landing as a mixed bag.

We're back to form next time, though, and we really don't stumble again for a good long streak. We're also going to start running into more and more episodes I've already liveblogged through. As I said previously those recaps will likely be shorter, unless I find something I really want to ramble about.

[ooops-i-arted]

idk if this is an unwelcome rant or anything but I saw your anti ahs0ka posts from july and I’m just….so frustrated. I don’t want to sound like a dudebro but as someone whose favorite SW character is Luke I just can’t stand Star Wars anymore. I personally didn’t like him in tlj, but I could accept it—but then they just sort of kept chipping at him through every new piece of media. He’s strange in mando/tbobf, no one will join his temple despite apparently all of these older force sensitives surviving rotj, even obi-wan is retconned to know leia more. now this shit w this show, where #she is the self-insert in thrawn stuff. also you don’t even have to be FS anymore, etc etc. the “important Jedi lineage” is now obi-wan-anakin-ahs0ka, bc who even cares about luke amirite. it just sucks because I did genuinely used to like her, but with every new thing it could not be more clear that narratively she should have died bc now the whole gffa’s story is hers

I'd love to say I'm above petty rant but I am SO not, your rant is most welcome. If you don't have anything nice to say about Ahsoka, come sit by me. 😉 (Honestly I'm just happy to see other people acknowledging what a poorly written character she is when I've been saying this since the Rebels season 2 finale. I definitely felt like the only one back then.)

More seriously.... yeah, I do get the feeling of everything you loved about Star Wars being chipped away. I hope those who do enjoy it have fun and all, I don't begrudge anyone that, but I can't lie, I do kinda feel the same way. Like it's all being rewritten Filoni-style. And George Lucas he is not, no matter how much he thinks he is. Also I don't presume to know Timothy Zahn's feelings but I still think it's shitty and disrespectful as hell to carve a big hole out of the wonderful, iconic Thrawn trilogy and plop Ahsoka in. It's becoming REAL obvious that Filoni isn't the creative genius he's hailed as, he strip mines Legends for ideas and then gets the credit.

At this point I almost rather they leave Luke alone. Han is my BOY and they already did him so dirty (left Leia, returned to smuggling invalidating all his character development in the OT, gets a crappy death from his shitty incel son - I did like Solo but it was too little to late) so I 100% get your feelings there. It's like Disney doesn't even care how important these characters are so many people in their rush to replace them with their new, safely copyrighted and controlled characters. And ofc Filoni props his TCW OCs over all. Just look at how Mando S3 had Din and Grogu's story trashed so Girlboss Barbie Bo could feature instead. I'm not sure why they're so resistant to paying writers, they clearly need some new ones.

[xombiriot]

TOP 3 Metal Albums I Enjoyed from 2023

A lot of great metal came out this year and it was hard to narrow it down to my Top 3. There were some great EPs released this year— Spiritbox’s The Fear of Fear, Brand of Sacrifice’s Between Death and Dreams and Knosis’s The Eternal Doom among them. Singles I enjoyed include: "On the Verge" by thrown, “Masterpiece” by The Anchor, “Enemy” by The Gentle Men (ft. Andy Cizek), “Weight of the World” by Harper (ft. We Came as Romans and Brand of Sacrifice), “Viking” by Slaughter To Prevail, "III" by DEATHPHONK (Nik Nocturnal's weird project); and Knocked Loose had the double, “Deep In the Willow”/“Everything is Quiet Now”.

My Top 5 honourable mentions: 5. [m]other by Veil of Maya, their newest does everything I want it to do, good riffs, cool effects, great vocals; 4. Soul Elegy by Termina, Nik Nocturna, Andy Cizek and friends deliver an awesome metal album; 3. Chaos Horrific by Cannibal Corpse is a strong entry and shows why they're still so loved after so long; 2. The Fox and the Bird by Ok Goodnight mixes folk, rock, metal and whatever else they want to create this really entrancing album; and 1. Take Me Back to Eden by Sleep Token is one of the albums I listened to the most because it's easy to put on when you're tired of being relentlessly pummelled by deathcore, but though its highs are super high, it just misses out landing on my top 3 because there are a few spots it lags

3. ...And Everything In Between - Unprocessed

Manuel Gardner Fernandes has quickly become one of my favourite guitarists between this release and Unprocessed's previous album Gold. The combination of styles on this album exemplify modern metal: bludgeoning heaviness, thumpy prog riffing (à la Animals As Leaders or Polyphia) and a mix of harsh and clean vocals. Despite the polish of these 9 tracks, some express such raw emotion and a ferocity that they really get me hyped up. The variety of tones and vocals kept me engaged throughout, and they blend and balance heaviness and melody so well. The guitar sounds so angry sometimes–especially the part of "Thrash" where Manuel beats the shit outta his guitar after screaming, "But you're just a fucking lie!" I love that. Other songs like "Blackbone" and "Die on the Cross of the Martyr" continue the trend of excellent instrumentation, the latter featuring guest solos by Polyphia's Tim Henson and Scottie Lepage. It's so well done and so engaging. In the short time I've had this album, it's become one of my favourites of 2023.

2. Periphery V: Djent Is Not A Genre - Periphery

When Periphery released "Wildfire" as a single I immediately bought into what they were selling. The way they transition through the various parts is seamless, the mix of vocal techniques and the jazzy interlude are all fantastic. It really captures the spirit of the whole record. Songs like "Dying Star" and "Zagreus" are also so hard. Periphery continues to show off their musical dexterity, and the band members prove once again they're not only some of the best musicians djenting their way through the world but as a collective they add up to more than the sum of their parts. My hottest take when it comes to this album is that I love "Silhouette" — it's like if you ran 80s soft rock and 90s/00s boy bands through a progressive music filter. I think they wrote this song and put it on the album just to prove they can do anything. And if Periphery is Djent, and Djent isn't a genre then why shouldn't they go in every genre direction they want to explore?

1. War of Being - TesseracT

In other years this top 3 could have been entirely deathcore or melodeath or metalcore, but this year it was djenty prog metal through and through. It's the music I gravitated to the most this year and nobody did it better than TesseracT. Daniel Tompkins vocals are incredible throughout, his cleans sounding particularly great on "Echoes" – giving us one of the best choruses before following it up with another great one on "The Grey". The album offers engaging lyricism throughout and the instrumentation is at a pedigree one would expect for a band in the vanguard of this genre. The album gives us atmospheric moments, synths, meditative passages before blasting us with metal. In many ways the whole album does what the best tracks on Sleep Token's Take Me Back To Eden do. Each song and the album as a whole provide an expansive experience. And that's why it's my number one. More than any other album released this year, TesseracT's War of Being makes me want to sit down and listen to it from beginning to end.

Other great albums: SUPERBLOOM by Silent Planet; Fatalism by Polaris; Feral by Left To Suffer; Foregone by In Flames; Ashen by Humanity's Last Breath; The Sin of Human Frailty by END; Symptoms of Survival by Dying Wish; and The Death We Seek by Currents.

[silvyavan]

It's 2 am, time to unleash Theory Bullshit

Topic of shithousery: Astaroth's Big Dick Energy pulled 1000 IQ ideas out of his ass in true trickster god nature.

Or, how Astaroth is one suicidal bitch, making a whole ass war for the funnies, 1200+ years in the making.

What we DONT talk about is how Astaroth is old as fuck if we go by his roots and how his connection to Christianity (which Lucius is trying to gentrify) are a lot closer getting to home than one thinks.

Now, there's lots of shit concerning Astaroth that is both "lore connections that is TOO damn important to the series to ignore" and "shit that feels like a loose end waiting to be connected to the web". My previous theory here had a few to name but those were mostly "namedrop" connections.

Right off the bat, we gotta talk how Lucius' plan is, technically going smoothly. Except its clearly shown to be going TOO smoothly.

Lucius' plan claims to be based off many futures, but his power is very, VERY limited in terms of being only able to see the futures of those WITH mana and that he can, very likely, only see that which he wants, similar to how Lolopechka can't see specific information of the past until she finds out about it and Ryuuya's clairvoyance is very much ridding him of his mana and giving him a shortterm preparation period.

It's likely Lolopechka's boon was directly given to the first Queen of heart, prior to Qlipoth. Then there was likely a period after the Yami Clan Massacre where Ryuuya found a way to obtain Clairvoyance, likely through an artifact because at that point, Astaroth was already MIA.

We have 3 people in positions of power with 3 coaligning powers connected to Astaroth's own lore equivalent powers of having Knowledge of past, present and future. In addition, ALL OF THESE PEOPLE have SIMILAR NAMES/1ST VOWELS.

LU-cius - future focused, likely stolen, became Ruler by taking/planting an alter in a foreign country.

RU-ya - present focused, likely traded for mana/eye (Basing off the fact that the Japanese language doesn't have a distinction between Ls and Rs and that some cases yu are more similar sounding to just U sounds.), chosen to be a Ruler by The People (assuming he was elected as per Ichika as a source).

LO-lopechka - past focused, likely given as a boon/gift, chosen to be a Ruler by a Spirit.

Considering Asta has one half of the name and NO mana whatsoever, we can assume he'll be necessary in the oncoming Demonic Shoe Drop. The other half of the name, follows the pattern and completes the primary vowels having RO-th, but since its the "first" vowel of the "latter" half, this will likely be used to define ASTAROTH as a whole and the defining feature being "born with", both with time related abilities and status as a Duke of The Underworld.

And we all know Tabata loves his plays on names, with Liebe being named after Licita through her first vowel, and Asta being named after Astaroths first half of the name. So these connections are, in fact VALUABLE.

Ryuuya and Lolopechka both may be involved in the Judgement Day battle, with Lolopechka likely trying to regain her past Knowledge and Ryuuya trying to stop Lucius to protect the Land of the Sun.

Like trying to get back stolen past and the present trying to save the future. Connections are Massive.

But now to the more important part: how the fuck has Lucius, Christian Airfrier 9000, managed to have a massive 20 year apocalypse plan perfectly executed when he clearly was asleep for at LEAST 18 years? How did he even manage to get Astaroths power, considering Astaroth is actually described as VERY STUBBORN, to the point where if you summon him WRONG he won't obey shit?

Adrammelech and Beelzebub.

Adrammelech, in just the Ars Goetia, isn't really found. Rather, the closest equivalent would be Andrealphus.

Andrealphus, menstruation and fertility connections aside, is in the category of Astronomy, which connects to Lucius and Julius having Sun and Star markings, leading to believe that Lucius originally had a contract with Adrammelech.

But Adrammelech has roots in the same pantheon that ASTAROTH originated from: Ancient Semitic Religion and by connection, Babylonian Religion of Mesopotamia.

Astaroth is based off the ancient goddess Ishtar, goddes of Love and War, as well as Fertility and Political Power, and patron diety of Nineveh, which was considered the LARGEST city of its time and the OLDEST in antiquity. Ishtar herself was based off of Inanna and known as "the Queen of Heaven", prominent symbols being an 8 pointed star. (In contrast, Asta's main symbol is a 4 pointed star, which could lead to him only being half of Astaroth). Her Greek equivalent was Aphrodite, Roman being Venus and Canaanite Astarte.

Adrammelech is part of the same religion, but more vaguely. He's briefly described as the god of "duality" or Sepharvaim. The name itself means "Adar is Prince", Adar being derived from Akkadian A-tar: meaning father of decision. Likewise decision, destiny and also having the name of the plague God. Adrammelech is worshipped through child sacrifice. The name could also mean "to carry a king".

Adrammelech is often pair with the god Anammelech, even to the point they both resided over the same twin cities. Twins in Black Clover are usually a death flag, and with child sacrifices involved, much is to be feared.

But Adrammelech himself is rumored (I say rumored because I can't find a lot of credible sources for this) to be the god of the sun, which I think comes from Andrealphus.

This, connected with Beelzebub being a Canaanite and Phillistine god, translating to "Lord of heavenly dwelling", we're getting the impression for the earth, the sky and the sun all being in kahoots.

With Adrammelech having duality connections and Beelzebub having "traitor theory" Zenon as his main contractor, it's not far off to assume that Astaroth's "death" was planned and Adrammelech was the one who organised it. Beelzebub likely agreed to it, so you've got 2 inside men - one is watching to make sure the humans are falling into place, the other is working to make sure the devils are moving appropriately and likely teleporting them into the human realm.

With Astaroth having split his power and likely letting Adrammelech watch over Lucius to make sure he doesn't step out of line, we're given the possible assumption that, if Lucifero was going 1 step ahead with the Qlipoth, Lucius was going 5 steps, Adrammelech was going 7, and Astaroth, who's technically dead, was going 10.

The current arc already parallels a LOT with Elf Reincarnation arc (in a good way), so a demonic plot twist in the end is to be expected, if not feared.

So.

How does Asta tie into this? By being connected to Jesus more than Lucius.

Lucius' godlike powers come as a reference to the gospels of John.

But Asta's mercy, kindness and forgiveness comes from Jesus personally.

Asta himself is actually performing Easter as Jesus.

Easter was originally based off the celebration of Ishtar (note the phonetic likeness). While there is no direct connection, the use of eggs and rabbits as sec and fertility symbols go hand in hand, thus connecting to Astaroth.

Asta, in this sense, is acting out Jesus' rebirth - he is supposedly "trapped" in a cave for 3 days (3 days before judgement day) by authorities who hated him (Lucius lmao) and on the 3rd day when they checked, the body was nowhere to be found (no proof of death). Instead, there are news of Jesus having come back to life (future prediction of Asta returning to Clover.)

In that's sense, if we connect Asta and Astaroth, it begs the question on which one of them will actually be rising from the dead. Likely both, as Asta was only dead symbolically, while Astaroth was death physically.

In a way, it ties to the idea of bringing the hearts of devils into the human realm for "perfect manifestation". If Lucius is defeated or loses control of the hearts, that can be possible or the devils take over the hosts they were put into. Remember, if Lucius can make bodies out of his siblings' magic, this could have been the way to make perfect vessels for them. Also ties into the fact that Demons in the bible aren't manifestations of sin, rather being hated for being traitors. So sudden bout of paladins getting their forms taken over by devils? Very possible.

[lexreadsdiversely]

Asian Readathon 2024

[ID: A black cat laying on purple patterned sheets in front of a stack of four books: Bliss Montage by Ling Ma, This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone, Light from Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki, and The Night Parade: A Speculative Memoir by Jami Nakamura Lin. End ID.]

Even if I wanted to be an aesthetic blogger I couldn't. Not with my baby boy, Lito, taking every opportunity to lay on me.

It's AAPI month and I'm participating in the Asian Readathon! (See withcindy on YouTube for more details). I wanted to share some of the books I'm reading and talk briefly about my thoughts so far.

Sidenote: You should be reading Asian authors year round. If you aren't already, I recommend checking out Cindy's blog, looking at the kickass spreadsheet of books, and expanding your horizons.

Bliss Montage, Ling Ma

Features eight reality-bending stories about relationships with oneself and other people. Character-driven. Less than 250 pages. Check trigger warnings.

I chose this one to fit the prompt of a book that feels timeless based on the vibes of Ling Ma's first book, Severance (a personal favorite). She goes back and forth between past and present often, at times seamlessly between mere paragraphs, and it gives the feeling of time being stretched and almost uncertain. I greatly enjoyed it in Severance and suspected similar vibes in this book, and I'm not disappointed! I'm wondering if this is autobiographical fiction (it isn't advertised as such, but I can spot some of the shared events of Ma's actual life and the MC). This book is deeply intimate and, at times, very heavy. I'm only halfway through, and I already know it's going to be another favorite.

This is How You Lose the Time War, Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Adult Sapphic science fantasy about two rival agents on opposing sides of a war. Less than 200 pages (can you tell I like novellas?)

I've started this twice now, once on audiobook and once on ebook, before realizing neither format worked for me and buying a physical copy. I'm only two chapters in, but wow, if you enjoy competitive flirting, these two are incredible at it! I'll say more when I'm further along, but this is some quality writing.

Light from Uncommon Stars, Ryka Aoki

Sapphic science fantasy. A woman makes a deal with a demon to sell her soul for fame in the violin world and must convince seven other violin prodigies to sell theirs in order to get hers back. She finds number seven in a trans girl who runs away from home, and unexpected love with an alien woman who comes to Earth to escape a galactic Endplague. Check the trigger warnings!

I'm 300 pages in (out of almost 400) and this book makes me fucking feral. Apart from the main three characters stories, there are so many side characters with their own stories, and every single one weaves together in some way and packs a punch. I was sold on this book the moment I heard Queen of Hell, and it's just sucked me deeper and deeper. There are so many unexpected events in this book, so many moments that make me go "holy fucking shit?" You think you know what kind of book it is, then some off the wall shit happens and you have to reassess. This is such a deeply trans narrative (written by a trans woman), and as soon as I finish it I'm never going to shut up about it. Probably one of the best books I've ever read and I'm not done yet.

Once more, check the trigger warnings! Aoki is very good at making it super clear what's happening, while also not doing too much on-page (usually by either going light with the details, or fading the scene). But of all the talk about this book I've encountered, no one ever mentioned triggers and I foolishly assumed that meant that there weren't any major ones. There very much are. I'll start you off: transphobia, internalized transphobia, racism, sexual assault, self-harm, parental abuse (the book opens with this one, so mentally prepare yourself).

The Night Parade: A Speculative Memoir, Jami Nakamura Lin

A memoir that users the yōkai and various other figures from Japanese, Taiwanese, and Okinawan folktales to talk about grief in the face of the author's father's cancer and her struggles with Bipolar Disorder. Features amazing illustrations by her sister, Cori Nakamura Lin.

This sentence from the blurb took me out at the knees: "...Jami Nakamura Lin shines a light into dark corners, driven by a question: How do we learn to live with the things that haunt us?"

This is just fucking cool. It's a memoir that basically ripped up the rule book and does it so well. You're never certain if what you're reading really happened (and this is intentional). Stories that show the complexity and humanity of people with Bipolar Disorder are few and far between, so this book has a special place in my heart. It challenges the current narrative of mental health recovery in a way I've yet to see.

Other things I'll be reading:

The Garden of Delights by Amal Singh - Doesn't come out until mid-May, so I'll be waiting impatiently to enjoy it.

Let me know if you have any questions or thoughts. If you've read any of these books, come scream at me!

~ Lex

[sapphosewrites]

The game in this post is such a fun idea I decided to test it out as a "what would have happened if" outline game on one of my fics that feels like an episode, Necessary Storms

1.) The first chapter serves as the pilot, so it's unchanged. Julian is on the ship and they get a distress call.

2.) At the end of last chapter, I rolled a 3, which is "Fan favorite. Your most recently mentioned character (or named object) is now beloved by the audience. You must give it a bigger part in the story, a special destiny, or an important new romance or friendship. If you get this twice for the same character or object, the adoration cools and you must go back to treating the character or object normally." The most recently mentioned character was Julian, notably already beloved by the audience, but the last named object was the Qushji ship, so now I guess it has to be special and important. People want to know more about the ship! So now chapter 2, originally just a quick bridge scene and some garashir domesticity, now features a really long montage like in the first Star Trek movie of people walking around the corridors and slow motion glamor shots from the outside. And the bridge conversation has forced exposition about how the ship faced the Borg in the Battle of Wolf 359 and the Battle of Sector 001.

3.) I rolled a 12: "The most recently mentioned character's actor has decided to leave the show. You must write them out in the next chapter." This is a major problem since the most recently mentioned character at the end of the last chapter was Garak! Shit! So Chapter 3, the plot suddenly changes so that Garak has gone missing too (except he's not being kept with Julian, and he'll get found in the end by the crew... off-screen).

4.) I rolled a 7: "Audiences are craving more action. The next chapter needs to involve at least one extended fight scene, and the weapons must be the last three objects mentioned." This is the one where Julian and Ezri reunite in the caves, so they have to have an extended fight scene against Ryzen's guards. I guess they're escaping a chapter early! The weapons are the medkit, which I guess you could probably bludgeon someone with pretty effectively, and the tricorder. Could you stab someone with a tricorder?

5.) I rolled a 5: "Audiences are craving more coziness. The next chapter must be completely low stakes and set you at ease." This was originally the escape chapter, but since now they escaped in the fight scene I guess we can... pause and do nothing? Huddling for warmth? Maybe we go back to the ship and have a weird, out of place slice of life time with the original crew characters. We learn about Ensign Lopez, maybe. And have more glamour shots of the ship. Did you know it also fought in the Chin'toka System and every other major battle of the Dominion War, simultaneously?

6.) I rolled a 6: "Audiences are craving more suspense. The next chapter must take place entirely in a single location, ideally just a single room, and build tension with every exchange of dialog." Audiences should let me do my own pacing, dang. Well, chapter 6 was originally flipping back and forth between the ship and the caves, but we could keep it in just the caves and build the tension with drawing out the search for the guardians, building to a climactic realization when they aren't there.

7.) I rolled a 2: "Product placement! The next chapter must center (and subtly promote the features of) a product belonging to the most recent brand you've seen." Cameras are key in this chapter, so I think that's where the product placement will come in, although it's tricky that we're in future science fiction and so it's ~future technology~. I guess it's holorecorders with really conspicuous brand names- or a really obvious modern device as the prop that we haven't bothered doing much work to transform. (Although I guess we'd have to come up with a new plan, since Garak isn't here!)

8.) Last chapter! I rolled another 3: "Fan favorite. Your most recently mentioned character (or named object) is now beloved by the audience. You must give it a bigger part in the story, a special destiny, or an important new romance or friendship. If you get this twice for the same character or object, the adoration cools and you must go back to treating the character or object normally." The last mentioned character was Garak, who's left the show, and other than that it was.... Perra Ryzen, the villain entering custody and exiting the fic. So I guess now Chapter 8 has to follow up on her, her sentencing and what other people make of her and what she does next.

This is a fun thought experiment- if I had the energy, I'd do it with a new idea, but as it is I'll be glad that actors can't leave partway through a fic!

[alligatorjesie]

Well that's a take.

wha- @watchingtheearthrise

Are you… defending Antis, as the name implies people who are negatively against a thing, because they’re ‘not as privileged’ as... reylos?

For fucking real?

Do you think reylos are born with silver spoons in their mouths? Do you think we have some kind of societal leg up because we like a fucking ship?

It's not because we're overwhelmingly white that's for fucking sure, because I already covered that conversation

Twice now

with charts and everything

since some people here can't fucking read.

How, God fucking bless us all, do you type all that out with zero awareness?

Can you not put 2 and 2 together to figure out why people who passionately love things have more love in their lives as a whole? Is that wisdom lost to you?

Fortune and privilege have Absofuckinglutly Nothing to do with fandom and how passionately you as a individual interact with it.

You're so fucking close, I swear to fucking God. If I had a soul you'd be crushing it.

Here you are, taking Your sweet precious time, time You'll never get back in your life, time You'll look back on unfondly because you're about to get your ass chewed straight fucking through, time out of Your day to make this post defending people who passionately hate things and how they might have it worse than someone else, unaware the reason that group might have things worse is because they Actively Choose To Hate Things And Make It Other People's Problem.

Well I don't fucking know brah, maybe when you're not a fucking needless cockwaffle to people good things are more likely to happen to you?

And you know what? Yeah. Bad things do happen to good people. But shitty things happen to shitty people more. You can live your life being a fucking asshole because you'd mad about X or Y or whatever the fuck, or you can take all that energy you were going to spend on hating something and instead pick literally anything else to put it into. You seem like you like Finnrey? Have you perhaps considered taking all that time you spent being an anti reyo and instead putting it back into your own fandom? I assure you with every ounce of blood running through my slow beating reptilian heart,

The reylos will not fucking stop you.

If you’re disadvantaged because you hate a fucking ship, that’s on you mate.

Last time I checked it takes zero effort to not be a prick to people minding their own goddamn shit in their own fucking spaces and it’s you taking time out of your day to be mindless cunt to those people who had the misfortune of noticing a canon ship as loudly broadcasted as REYLO was in the new Star Wars movies as if The Last Jedi which might as well be called ‘Reylo, the goddamn movie’ isn't a whole ass movie in this trilogy.

Rey and Ben sit in a hut and talk about their feelings in front of each other then hold hands. Did she do that with Finn? No?

Well that sucks. Go draw some fanart and fix it. Go write some fanfiction where Kylo Ren's asshole explodes through his mouth and Rey and Finn fuck on his bloodied corpse. Whatever makes you fucking happy man. Why the fuck are you in the anti reylo tag about it? The antis ain't gonna help you with this problem that's for fucking sure. We get it. You don't like Ben, but you know something? If I had any anti-Finn content- Not that I do because I'm not a fucking asshole and actually like Finn as a character quite a bit, most reylos do or else he wouldn't so regularly be featured as a predominate character in most reylo fanfictions -I wouldn't post it to the anti-Finnrey tag. You know... I'll be honest I don't see reylos posting in anti-finnrey spaces, isn't that fucking weird to you? Is that even a thing? Gimme a second.

Uhh no in fact all of the top posts are in fact anti reylos, the few reylos who do show up in the listing is me talking about how finnreys sure like to harass reylos and one other person who posted twice to the tag to comment on how they get harassed by finnreys a lot. Guys I'm fuckin' buggin' here.

No. I’m not going to consider the feelings of the group of people who this this kind of harassment is allfuckingright:

All of these posts were gathered in only 2 days after that ghost guy dropped that bombshell that he *gasps!* liked reylo.

Not to mention that absolute plethora of antis who have been harassing members of this fandom constantly and consistently for the past 7 years.

I don't know much but I feel like that takes a lot of time and effort.

Like this one who has been at it since 2016.

Or this one who has been harassing members of this fandom since 2018.

Or this one who has an alarming 260 posts dedicated to being an anti reylo, someone who I can only assume has way more fucking time on their hands than I or you or anyone else in this fandom does that's for fucking sure and has been doing this horseshit since 20motherfucking17.

Or this sock filled with crusted jizz who has been at it since 2018 and thinks it's alright to mock artist and likes to send death threats.

Real fuckin' classy.

Speaking of death threats!

I've never told anyone to go fucking die because they like a fictional ship.

That's very fucked up.

If anyone here has more time than they know what to fucking do it with it's antis who not only think it's perfectly normal to spend this amount of time and effort on something they hate but can't fucking help but insert themselves into a space they don't fucking belong in to start with.

And were the fuck do you get off?

Bitch, do you fucking think I sit on my ass 24/7 and dedicate all my increasingly little spare time to a fucking fandom? Do you think I have literally nothing better to do in my day than to dedicate it fandom shit? Goddamn do I fucking wish. Honestly in the making of this post I came to realize how little time I’m actually able to set aside for this one guilty pleasure but I can’t scroll through my own fucking tag for one single day without seeing one or two of you chucklefucks posting in a tag you don’t belong or even want to be in to ‘own the libs’ or whatever the fuck your aim here is.

Reylos come in all shapes and sizes and ages, most of us being around 20 which means the vast majority are in school AND working jobs WHILE ALSO writing fanfiction so fucking steamy it’d make a sailor blush on top of working their asses off to stay afloat in this capitalistic hellscape we all live in.

Antis who go to school and work jobs ain't fucking special mate. Do you think reylos don't do anything else all day but daydream about Ben Solo banging Rey? Bitch, we go to school just like everyone else. We got jobs like everyone else. We have families we spend our time with. We live our lives as completely and happily as we can just enjoying a ship/fandom and astoundingly we do it without being a hateful fuck to people in other fandoms, ain't that fuckin' wild?

All it takes is not interacting with the fandom you don't like.

It ain't that fucking hard.

My heart don’t fucking bleed over the anti who’s on hard times. You don’t have my fucking sympathy when you made the decision to be an asshole.

I know a lot of real people who have it a lot worse then the antis who are just mad their ship isn't fucking canon and those real people bitch a lot less.

Do you think the reylos were immune to the pandemic? Do you think we live on a fucking island far away from all the regular troubles of a normal world? We were affected by this shit too. Antis ain’t singularly suffering do to pandemic issues, we all are you daffy fuck.

Aww, you had to work during the pandemic? Well bitch, so did I. I've been working since I was 16. Some jobs I fucking hated and I left them for jobs I didn't hate so much.

Motherfucker, I work for a Dildo Company. Do you even fully understand just how busy shit got for us when lockdown started? All these horny people who were banging lots of people every week were suddenly Not and I can tell you right now they filled that void with dildos.

You've been busy the past 2 years? Congrats.

So has everyone else. The world is melting around us. Eggs cost 10 dollars a dozen. Rent in most places in the US is 1,000 dollars a month. Everything sucks and, you know, we try to make it suck a little less by not actively being assholes to strangers on the internet.

I know at least five reylos in my personal bubble who are married with children. How much goddamn time do you think they have to set aside for the hobby they love between raising kids during a pandemic while also working a full time job because we live in a world where a single person working can't afford rent, much less a house?

And wouldn't you fucking know it? They manage all of that without being absolute douche canoes to people in fandom because instead of hating shit they choose to love things.

Reylos out here doing God’s fucking work and dedicating what I can only assume is also minimal time into what is probably only one of their many hobbies while also managing to put their whole fucking pussies into the fandom they choose. These artists out here making fanfiction, fanart, metas, being betas for fic writers, commenting on fics they like, affirming fellow content creators, podcasts, merch, or doing as little as just talking about the fandom they love here on dumblr dot com in the fucking tag they belong in.

You don't need to spend money to enjoy fandom, you do understand that right? There is a plethora of way to enjoy fandom without spending a dime. You know what?

I'll show you real quick just how easy it is to be a active member of a fandom with minimal time and zero money.

This is a reylo fic by the writer secretreylotrash called 'The Trail Bride' It's a western/Oregon trail AU and the smut in it is just Top Fucking Tier.

God Fucking Bless This Author.

It's actually on my re-read list after I clear out a few other fics with shorter chapter counts.

There. Took me 2 minutes, didn't cost a fucking thing, and I've already done more good for my fandom than you being an anti has ever fucking accomplished in the past 7 years of your life.

I am hardly fucking privileged. I work hard at my job to afford the thing I have and what I have is by no fucking means ‘nice and new’. Making dicks is fulfilling work (huehue) but not the highest paying work.

I am not a stranger to flee markets and secondhand stores.

I’ve never owned a new couch.

I grow a garden in the summer to keep food costs down. I forage around my neighborhood for free food (chickweed is fucking delicious. Last year we found a puffball growing in a neighbor’s yard and made puffball parmesan with it. Ate off that for 3 days.) and free shit in people’s trashcans.

The flooring in my house is currently wood particle board because we haven't been able to afford new flooring since we moved in 2 years ago. When shit breaks around here, I fucking fix it because I can’t afford to pay someone else to do it that’s for goddamn sure. I learned from youtube how to do plumbing because when we first moved into our house there was a horrible leak the last owner just never fucking bothered to fix so now I’m also going to have to learn a little carpentry to fix the damage it did. I have 2 cars and both of them are over 20 years old and I’m the person who keeps them running because I’ve been ripped off by different mechanics in this town one too many times and now I just don’t trust anyone but myself to work on them.

I work a full time job five days a week.

Not even 9 to 5, more often 9 to 6:30/7 if your time management is shit (mine is) as once you get a pour going you’re at the whims of the Silicone Gods because fun fact about silicone; The moment you add part B into liquid silicone you got about an hour to get that shit mixed, degassed, and poured into whatever dick shaped object you got planned or else you’re going to end up with 230 ounces of quickly hardening product that will soon become so unworkable you’ll have no choice but to throw it out, and platinum grade silicone ain’t fucking cheap. Once silicone is cured, that’s it. You can’t uncure it and start again. It can get nerve racking and it takes months to figure out how to pour it right, years to learn how to pour it well.

Some of the toys we offer, just the one dildo, is 8 pounds of material or more. Wet silicone has the consistency of room temp honey, it's not easy to mix and you have to mix it fully or it won't cure correctly.

And don't get me started on that math! We offer 3 types of firmness and all three requires a different math formula, not to mention the pigment math which is entirely different and very small and precise.

You need to understand at least basic color theory to do the pigments correctly in this job. It is a physically and mentally demanding job.

Another fun fact about silicone, it will destroy your clothes. If you get so much as a drop on clothing you can just enjoy your forever stain now because that shit ain’t ever coming out. You don’t know how many shirts and pants I’ve lost to the Silicone Gods.

Clothing I have to pay for.

But despite all that, I am very dedicated to my job. If I removed all my other numerous hobbies and just focused on the job that pays for my food, house, and transportation you would be fucking shocked by how much XP I’ve banked into it.

Here, lemme show you something I’m really proud of. Now I did have to crop it because I’m not going to lie, it’s a dick, but this is my job and this is what I do. And I’m fucking good at it.

This was a commission by a customer based on this piece of delftware:

This motherfucker took me Two Whole Goddamn Days to finish. And not regular 9 to 6:30 days either, I had to stay late to finish this beautiful little fuck so in reality those two days were more like 9 to 8.

Another fun fact, the mold I was painting into was almost this same exact shade of blue. This was a very hard project but goddamnit if the work don’t speak for itself. And this toy wouldn’t look this fucking good if it wasn’t for the incredible amount of time and effort I’ve put into learning how to do this shit.

Painting silicone is hard, so hard there isn’t many other creators out there who do it because your odds of fuckups (air bubbles, delamination, whatever you painted simply not curing, etc) is astronomically high Unless you know what you’re doing.

I’ve painted so many toys. One time I painted a double ended horse dick up with galaxies all over it, it was fucking stunning. I’ve done the Arizona tea can a few times now. Some years ago I did a ‘fruit set’ where I hand painted a bunch of different toys up like pineapples, kiwi, dragon fruit, watermelons, stawberries, just a whole bunch of them and they sold out instantly. These days every orca coming out of our shop is hand painted by me personally.

And that isn’t even to fucking say shit about my other hobbies.

My first love; art. I love to draw. I’ll draw anything that involves an alligator, memes, or reylo. I’ve been drawing since I was a child and while I’m by no means the best at it, I ain’t half bad. You can tell what I’m drawing is and that’s all we can ask for. Honestly being in the reylo community has helped my art out a ton. I mean look at this improvement from just 2018 to 2022!

I know you don’t give a single fuck about reylo but this is a marked improvement over such a short period of time and I have this fandom to thank for that.

I will carry this improvement to other arts. Everything I learn at this cornerstone informs every single other skill I learn. If I didn't care about it so much I wouldn't work so hard to do better at it. Who the fuck are you to judge the media I choose to get there?

Now onto my second love; carving. I can carve anything. Bone, horn, wood, stone, glass, terricatta, ceramic, fuckit man you name it I can carve it. I’ve been doing this since I was a teenager using just the most absolute shit quality 50 dollar harbor freight flexshaft dremel that would get so fucking hot after an hour of use I had to wear mechanic gloves just to hold the hand bit. And that’s what I learned on, sitting out in a freezing garage in the dead of winter while my toes froze off and my hand burns to numb because I just wanted to put a few more hours into that fucking sweet raccoon skull I’ve been working on for the past 3 years.

And my third passion; plants.

I have so many fucking plants that most of my evenings after work are spent dealing with all these verdant assholes. Allow me to show you just the very few I have in my collection:

And this ain’t all of them. I have more outside and yet still more at work. My summer is so full of just taking care of plants that honestly it’s shocking I even find time for fandom. These adorable little fucks bring me so much joy though and the effort shows. They’re all so productive I’ve been able to make a little side money by buying cheapo bowls and pots from Goodwill, popping a few weep holes into them with the dremel, and selling them at the local farmer’s market. They’re cute as fuck yo.

I’m an avid knitter. I regularly knit on the way to and from work and give the hats and gloves away to family and friends as I finish them.

I love to braid these little glass vases that you can put a plant into and hang from your window, they’re a ton of fun to make, they reuse jars that would otherwise get thrown away, and they’re beautiful to boot.

I can sew and regularly mend mine and other people’s clothing on my machine which was a hand-me-down from my mother. She kept the nice one.

I love to cook and bake treats for everyone at work to enjoy.

I can do embroidery, needle felting, woodworking, car maintenance, house maintenance, sculpting, fictional writing, and wouldn't you fucking know it?

I can do all of these things without being a heartless fuck to other people in fandoms.

And on top of all this shit that keeps my life so full, I have a loving partner who cares about all of these interests to the point he happily feeds into them. He genuinely loves me and I genuinely love him. I spend probably the most time out of my day with him since we work and live together. Either we’re hanging out at work or on the couch after we’ve finished dinner to watch a movie or youtube or chilling in the bedroom while he reads to me as I draw on him or we have sex sex.

Mmm, the sex.

He is patient and kind and I couldn’t ask for a better person to spend my days with and I hope beyond hope I'm able to spend many more with him.

And after that, only after all of that other shit along with a few extra hobbies I just didn't feel the need to add to this already lengthy post, does reylo take a priority in my life. So little of my time and effort is even spent on this one thing that brings me such intense joy that it makes me kinda sad I don’t have more free time to dedicate to it.

I am going to judge antis and do so very openly because if you feel like antis, people who harass and threaten other people for just being in a fucking fandom, have it tough?

I fucking hope they do.

I hope their lives are long and filled to the fucking brim with distress and heartache. I have so many hobbies and interests and loves in my life that someone dedicating the fleeting time they have in this wonderful world filled with things begging to be explored and loved chooses instead to make people feel bad for enjoying romance and community and art can just go live the worst fucking lives for all the fucks I don’t give.

Maybe if they spent a little less time being hateful fucks they wouldn’t have it so tough.

Karma is a bitch you know.

Cheers.

Now get the fuck outta the tag.

[vilixpran]

my shadow and bone s2 running thoughts

"there's only one bed!" speedrun

sometimes hot people can't act

this is actually.... not good

wow being incognito lasted three minutes

no hesitation to blow your cover

what a kind northern Irish village gentleman

the bitch is back, long live the bitch

show me a 40 year old! not every person alive is 25 and hot

genya's wig... ain't it

all he is is dumb and hot

let the fake Scandinavians mispronounce jail, show me realism

ah yes, we do cool nods at the wall of weapons

the ears are the sign of a good tracker, and mal sure does have two ears

Sea Whip, That Was Easy™️

all tell, no show, that's the way that we go

god inej is fit

total stranger, for now xx

they're just putting their faces close together on purpose

daaaamn these bitches dead and deading others

ah yes, ignite the bombs while you're in the room

pirate ship cult

Nikolai is a dork

how small is this ocean....

kazs PTSD, a running gag

baby girl, you won't "finally eradicate it for good" right now, it's episode three

aah so they fucked

TINY ROLLINS WEE SCOTTISH BAB

"hey babe, expose your knife wound while i trauma dump plot info"

god inej is fit

nina knows

god nina is fit too

*saoirse ronan* "women"

how many times can this man get stabbed in the shoulder? we're up to three

murder is good, murder is chill, i've got no qualms with murder

too many characters, too many plots, disproportionate amount of time spent on the crows and god bless them for that

"hey bro can i propose to your girlfriend bro"

the mood lighting in this plague cemetery, vibes

HORRIBLE FAKE SCANDINAVIAN LANGUAGE, HORRIBLE -10000/10

girlie pop, youve got to lose the signature fancy hat, you are the most recognisable

dat ass

my man is here to be petty and he's bringing friends along for the ride

no plot! only flirting! as we deserve

let them all be lesbians

SPEEDRUN WESPER

episode four and they're already fucking thank Christ

good good wylan and Jesper are off shagging, I can brood in peace

"no"

time isn't real! geography is a myth! our boats will get there when it's convenient for the plot!

we are criminals, rats of the barrel, and occasionally help foreign royals when they ask nicely

"warm, and wet" the crows in Shu han, the gift that keeps on giving

can't believe I have to watch some reylo shit all over again

Dominik Dominik I sense an ex friend with benefits with our man Nikolai

good let the twink talk to butterflies and ignore the suffering of his friends

deforest station

happy to have a himbo in tolya

not so much a slow death by poisoning as a chance for nice life affirming trips to remotivate our heroes in the ninth hour

"throwing up or hallucinations" the only two possible outcomes of poisoning

she's the avatar!

one night stand to soulmates pipeline

ah yes, continue to make out in the background for everyones big character revelations

"you're a part of me mal, I can't loose you" well murder him and eat his bones and he'll be with you forever

boyfriend to organ donor pipeline

star wars levels of hand amputation, now featuring Mother's Good Finger Bones

"and there was only one set!"

yeah like, they definitely used to fuck, surely

twenty minutes of this episode and no crows, for shame

the crows aka Deus ex machina but make it fun flirty and bisexual

more finger amputations, moooooreeeeee

woohoo C plot lesbians

queue the fire benders

little viking boy, drawing crosses in the sand

Matthias villian origin story set up for season three

fun fact, I don't actually want to see another finger amputation

blue skies and sunny yet these bitches can't see a thing

the location scout must have been so proud of themselves for finding this fort, so proud that they spent two episodes having two identical groups chasing each other around three walls

you know what this big battle scene needs? some music

unecessarily squishy icicle stab sound effects

FIVE MORE FINGERS CUT OFF JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

oh damn she actually did it

slaaaayyyy

"series regular" shows up every two episodes for a single scene unrelated to the main plot

why aren't they lighting the kindling from multiple places and especially from lower down?

good for inej

again with the tiny ocean and instantly finding exactly what you were looking for, ofmd logic

uh oh hehe

gross

[thevindicativevordan]

Comics this week ?

rezonan asked: What did you think about Ultimate Invasion #1? I thought it was pretty good and just barely justified the 9 dollars. 6160 man so excited

A great week all around for comic books! How nice to read good stories featuring both of my two favorite guys, Superman and Hulk.

Superman #5 - Another great issue, particularly for Jimmy who came off cool and competent, loved the shot of him donning his own jet pack and flying off with Superman to save the day, that's my pal! Williamson managed to win me over on a Silver Banshee who isn't a villain (for now). I've been leery about "redeeming" villains lately. Don't really see the point since all it does is further cut down on Superman's Rogues Gallery when he desperately needs for them to get used more not less. Banshee and Jimmy are cute enough together, and Marilyn Moonlight seems cool enough to stick around and take Banshee's place, that I've decided to get on board. Really it was seeing Banshee wear a bow tie on a date night with Jimmy that did it, who can resist the bow ties?

World's Finest #16 - Enjoyed this issue more than the rest of the arc, the Green Arrow/Batman banter was funny.

Nightwing #105 - A fantastic art showcase for Redondo. Oh hey and Heartless does actually show up again finally, so credit to Taylor for showing he isn't just sitting around doing nothing.

Wonder Woman #800 - Picked this up just for King's story and I'm on board for his WW run. First WW issue I've read in ages that left me eager to get my hands on the next issue. Nice feeling to have with regards to WW, haven't felt that way since Rucka.

Superboy #3 - Interesting twist to have the Cosmoteers potentially be new villains for Conner rather than friends. Forcing Conner to fight an evil/amoral version of the archetypes he was teammates with on YJ is a cool creative decision.

Vigil #2 - Another great issue even if it leaves me with more questions than answers. Love getting details on Indian conspiracy theories, that's an aspect of other cultures that you don't get in Western textbooks.

Cyborg #2 - Dropped. Take a look at the list, at this point I need a book to either be great or have a personal investment in the character to justify the cost, and Cyborg doesn't check either box.

Black Adam #12 - What an odd, odd book this ended up being. A story all about how there is no redemption for Black Adam, greenlit for synergy with The Rock's movie which starred an Adam who could barely be called a "villain", now ends long after the Adam movie flopped and killed the DCEU. The Adam parts I liked a lot, the Malik parts I didn't enjoy anywhere near as much. Much like the movie, I don't see this book leaving much of a legacy, but Priest did at least write a believable way for Adam to transition out of his anti-hero era and back to being a villain. Will the next writers to tackle Adam acknowledge what Priest did? Maybe Waid will.

Ultimate Invasion #1 -

This was the good shit my fellow Hickmaniacs. Not HoX/PoX tier but absolutely reminding me of Hickman's Avengers and Ultimates. Of course I grinned at seeing "Earth 6160", perfect number designation, if that's the Earth which will be the one Hickman is using for the relaunch then this is indeed a proper reboot for the Ultimate line. Theory time: Maker chose this Earth because this is a world that doesn't have a Reed Richards. Hickman might even make it the Earth that Doom got his Sue from in Secret Wars, their origin had Dr. Franklin Storm in Reed's place, and I could see Maker wanting this Earth partly to spite 616 Reed for crying over that Sue on Battleworld. Maker's already prevented 6160 from having a Spider-Man, and it looks like he's going to prevent the other heroes from forming too. I'm dying to know what he's going to do to the Sue, Johnny, and Ben of this world if my theory is correct.

I predict that the ending of Ultimate Invasion will be 6160 getting rebooted to undo Maker's changes, and 616 Reed is going to fold Maker into this Earth's history somehow, rebooting him back to being Mr. Fantastic. The problem the Illuminati have with Maker is that they can't kill him and they can't keep him locked up, meaning they have to find another way to deal with him. Given this was kicked off in part by 616 Reed admitting he would like to erase Maker, I think the ending will be 616 Reed realizing that's the wrong approach and instead opts to try and redeem Maker. That would also explain rumors that there's going to be a lot more interaction between 616 and 6160 than there was with 1610. 6160 becomes Maker's prison, and the 616 Illuminati keep watch to ensure he doesn't fall back into being a villain again.

Incredible Hulk #1 - Shocker I know but I liked this. Great Southern Gothic atmosphere thanks to Klein's art, and PKJ is directly following up on Ewing while also taking advantage of the Banner/Hulk reset that Cates did. Seeing Betty under Eldest's control was surprising, I did not expect her to be in the first issue but I'm happy she's back. Eager to dive into this monster mythos surrounding the Mother of Horrors that PKJ is creating, Hulk vs. Man-Thing is a fantastic matchup that I don't think has ever been done before.

Scarlet Witch Annual - Orlando handled the MCU synergy very well. Agatha is straight up MCU-ified now, no real way to avoid that after the popularity of Wandavision, but he did a good job acknowledging Agatha's previous history with Wanda and at least tried to reconcile the differences between the two takes.

Avengers #2 - Plotwise this remains great, characterwise it's clear McKay is still finding his footing in terms of juggling the cast. Writes a great Black Panther though, so at least T'Challa is finally getting treated with respect. Too bad that only happens outside his solo.

[turtlemagnum]

figured i should make a revised version of my pin (holy shit was it long(to be fair it still is(shut up!)))

facts about me for REAL GAMEWAD's:

the name's turtle. it's not my legal name, it's better!

my interests include writing, music, video games, animals, history, obscure political philosophy (and philosophy in general), making fun of virtually everyone who's ever been considered a philosopher, weeb shit, guns and occasionally other varieties of weaponry (usually the kind that individual people can effectively use), linguistics, and misanthropy. and also probably some other things i'm forgetting.

in terms of specifics, my biggest writing project/interest at the moment is this fantasy setting i've been developing for years now and marginally more recently, a game to go along with it and hopefully become successful enough to turn it into a series.

my musical tastes generally require some degree of complexity often not found in things like pop music. my fallback genre tends to be progressive rock, with some of my favorite artists in that group being yes, king crimson, jethro tull, jimi hendrix (best guitarist of all time i will FIGHT YOU), emerson lake and palmer, and while i'm not quite as experienced in terms of foreign prog i've really liked what i've heard from midas and (i think?) masayoshi takanaka. i think the most mainstream artist i like is bowie, which to be fair he's pretty weird for a really popular artist. i also like two (2!) whole metal groups, those being dio and symphony x. i think the main thing that really sets them apart from most other metal is that the singer actually sings rather than the generic metal screaming (which, to be fair, i think screaming can be done well, but we'll get to that later). nothing quite helps me think about writing as listening to really good metal, a lot of my setting has actually been heavily inspired by listening to dio (which, to be fair, his subject matter tends to have heavy fantasy elements, so it makes sense). i also like tally hall and most of its splitoffs (e.g. miracle musical and some of bora's stuff), and also lemon demon/neil cicierega, though to be fair i'm not hard into them like i used to be. very occasionally, i'll listen to old school funk/soul and the things it inspired like a good chunk of classic rap (like nwa). not sure if i'd consider death grips to be "rap", but that's probably the closest descriptor i'm aware of and either way, i do quite like death grippin'. a few other artists i like include oingo boingo/danny elfman's stuff, marty robbins (honest to jod the only country i actively enjoy), a bit of aphex twin and his infinite niche side projects, pilotredsun/pilotredsky, molchat doma, and queen.

i like a lot of different game series, but some of my favorites include UT/DR, zelda, mario, pre gen 5 pokemon (i know i'm a boomer but i was literally like 10 when gen 5 first came out and even back then i didn't like the look of it, and i've just sorta lost interest in pokemon games post that point), i'm a self loathing elder scrolls and fallout fan (the best idea bethesda ever had was letting obsidian develop new vegas), and i hate myself even more for becoming an unironic star wars fan after being recommended the KOTOR games as being some of the best RPGs of all time (KOTOR 2 is, and KOTOR 1 is enjoyable enough), being a sane PC gamer i love pretty much everything valve has ever touched e.g. half life and portal (with the exception of the CS games, they strive enough for realism that they're not fun mechanically but they're not realistic enough to be fun in terms of being a simulator)(also TF2 devoured my life during middle school and most of high school, but i've fallen out of love with it at this point), i fucking love the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. games, GTA is mostly a driving simulator for me where you can also just shoot anybody who cuts you off (which, to be honest should be a feature in literally every open world driving game, but i digress (isn't this whole thing an exercise in digression? (fuck you! shut up!!! bitch.))), and also i fucking love emulation and piracy sooooo so so soso much. sometimes i actively pirate things i already own just because i can. also i cheat in gtav online purely to get free money to buy all of the exorbitantly expensive shit and also not get griefed by the other cheaters. i like fast cars in video game!!! im not giving rockstar real money so i can buy the back to the future car!!!!!

i'm definitely a dog person, though i also very much love cats, and also i love pretty much all varieties of animal (though to be fair, i don't really like animals bred to be "cute" since they just kinda look like monstrosities to me. which to be clear, isn't their fault, and if i met one in person i'd be nice to it because it's still a little animal, but i just kinda feel bad for em y'know. not a fan of the dog eugenics to be perfectly honest. also, fuck invasive species, i'm not really into hunting but given the impact they tend to have on the native environment of the US, i definitely plan on hunting hogs, and also i like bacon/ribs/pork chops)

huge history nerd. most of my knowledge is from ww2 and onwards, but i do know a fair bit about general history. i'm definitely an amateur and by no means anything resembling an expert, but in my experience i tend to know a fair bit more about history than most normal people (i don't think there are many people under 30 these days who know what the hell a rhodesia was, for example)

in terms of philosophy, i don't really like to ascribe labels to myself and prefer to simply state my beliefs and opinions, mostly because in my experience people will generally mostly agree with what i have to say so long as i don't call myself the label that arguably most accurately describes them. if you think i'm a communist, i'm not gonna refute you, but i'm not gonna actively choose to call myself a communist. same goes with terms like "liberal", "libertarian", "anarchist", or "socialist", since literally all of these terms are deeply politically loaded and tend to mean different things to different people, i could very well describe the same positions i hold to two very different people, and they'd each very likely come away with a different label that probably says more about them than it would about me. i, of course, have my own opinions on what these words mean, but they're generally unpopular ones that will undoubtedly make someone angry. thus, i consider the only winning move to be simply not playing. to be frank, if you're at all curious about my beliefs, just read through enough of my posts as i tend to be pretty open about what i'm thinking. also, if you know who my pfp is, you probably have a pretty good starting point to make sense of my views from.

in terms of making fun of philosophers, i'd like to propose a hypothetical. let's assume that the afterlife is real. personally, i don't think marx would be in a hell at the behest of a higher being. i do, however, think that he'd be forever condemned to be surrounded by the countless generations of insufferable marxists incessantly arguing in typical leftist infighting fashion, which i'd argue may as well be hell

in terms of weeb shit, i mostly mean anime, which is to say the few anime i've historically had the attention span to watch and the rare manga i've had the attention span to read. during the wait for part 5 of jjba to be animated, i read through part 5-7 and i still haven't caught up with the part 6 anime. i fucking love what i've seen from cowboy bebop and honestly i need to pick it back up, i've more recently watched a decent chunk of fist of the north star, and the most recent manga i've read was a compilation of the yugioh manga (which i honestly didn't expect to be as good as it was). i forget if it was this year or last year, but i watched fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood all the way through and fucking loved it (not sure if i'd call it the best anime of all time, but moreso out of a lack of broad experience and a hate for sweeping generalizations rather than thinking it's overhyped). and also i grew up on youtube abridged bullshit like dbza and ygotas (and also like 2 VHS's of the gen 1 pokemon anime)

oh boy!! guns!!! so yeah i'm like, extremely autistic, and modern(ish) small arms are one of my biggest special interests. if you want me to explain basically anything about how guns work, ask me! please. i need to gun rant....! babey..!! (if you don't wanna hear about guns, probably don't follow me)

i like linguistics in much the same way that i like history, insofar as how i really like it and think it's so fucking cool and try to learn as much as i can about it but i'm also really stupid and have a hard time understanding the extremely complex bits (moreso with linguistics on that last part, i wish i knew how to read that thing where there's a specific character for literally every sound ever to make pronunciation guides completely unambiguous). also i really like the intersection of culture, linguistics and history and the like, i love how interconnected the fields are (though to be fair, basically everything is interconnected if you learn hard enough)

he/they/it pronouns because i don't really care how people refer to me as long as it's not femininely or neopronouns (nothing against either of those, just don't personally vibe with them). also, i like "it" because my grandparents would jokingly call me "it" a lot, and eventually it felt very much like a term of endearment (so weirdly enough, it doesn't feel dehumanizing to me despite that being The Point for most it/its users i've seen). my gender is just some guy, maan. or in other words, i'm an amab person who's more or less "gender confirming" with my biological sex, but also i reject a lot of the bullshit with "normal" masculinity so in essence: i'm a man when it's convenient, and genderless when it's not. sexuality is a bit weird, i can absolutely develop romantic feelings for people regardless of gender but in terms of sexual attraction, it's pretty much just women and people of other genders who present femininely/androgynously (though with women specifically, i also really like masc women, which Sucks for me because in my experience most of them are exclusively into other women)

fuckin uhh tags. vent tag is #turtlevent, gun tag is #turtlegunrant, will add as necessary

[ooops-i-arted]

renewing my "anti ahsoka" club membership on a monthly basis now because i'm beyond done with her stans getting pandered to especially at the expense of other jedi. and i'm one of those people that didn't mind her much in tcw even though i really think she maybe should have been the apprentice of plo koon or literally anyone else instead of anakin. but it's apparent to many people that she's outlived her narrative purpose and is there just so filoni can make live action fanfic.

like i was watching the disney gallery episodes for Both bobf and mando and everytime filoni feels the need to go into his "isn't ahsoka so amazing and powerful, she trained under anakin" spiel i fast forward through that shit, like we Get It filoni you want to worship your precious darling! he even describes working on her show as a "religious experience" and wants her to be this enlightened force goddess, aka the Daughter reincarnated. if he's already like this when she's a mostly redundant cameo, can you imagine how insufferable he is going to be in the behind the scenes episodes for her own show?

just scenes of badly recreated togruta cosplay with mediocre acting, parodying better made samurai films. maybe a trapper wolf cameo thrown in somewhere. who wants to sit through episodes of that shit? not me.

I am so glad you pointed out the TCW thing because I've often thought the show would be MUCH stronger with a tighter focus on Ahsoka as another Jedi's apprentice and just occasional cameos or episodes featuring the Main Characters like Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padme, Mace, Yoda, etc. More like Rebels. It could've been really cool to see the Clone Wars through a young apprentice's perspective since the main films we usually see it through the eyes of the higher ups. (That's what I liked about Rebels the most - it's not just Leia and Luke and Han who deal with the big picture, but we got a tighter focus on fighters on the front line, and new characters to fall in love with.) (Also one of the biggest reasons I hate TCW is how they warped Anakin especially but also Obi-Wan ooc, those are NOT my boys, and a focus on Ahsoka would've mitigated that and kept Filoni away from them.)

I don't begrudge any fan their love for a character, and Ahsoka has undeniably widened the playing field for female characters in Star Wars, but Filoni, please: variety!! She doesn't have to be in everything!! I'm tired of watching a show for something else and then suddenly it's TCW 2.0 Featuring The Super Specialist Jedi-But-Not-A-Jedi-Because-She's-BETTER Ahsoka. Mandalorian S2 E5 spent more time on her than Din and Grogu!! She completely took over the Rebels season 2 finale!! Filoni invented time travel in the Star Wars universe to save her from Vader and had Ezra save her over his father figure. What the fuck??? I mean, I can write endless fanfic about Cara Dune bc no one is paying me for it and I owe no one anything. He's helping lead an entire franchise and for god's sake can we PLEASE have something besides Ahsoka, Order 66, and Man Adopts Child? (And stop acting like Ahsoka is the third member of the prequel trio. IT'S PADME.)

I'm not gonna lie, I hope the show flops hard. I'm not proud of that, I'm still torn because don't want that to affect Rebels characters, and I do hope the Ahsoka fans like it, but I wish Filoni would get a reality check as vengeance for ripping apart Zahn's Trilogy for pieces and rebuilding it around Ahsoka and for handing Din's set up arc in The Mandalorian to Yet Another Fucking TCW Character. Or at least that Lucasfilm stops licking his butthole and lets him greenlight what's basically his own fanfiction.

Don't even get me fucking started on the Daughter and the Mortis arc. That was when I quit TCW when I tried to watch it all. THAT'S NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS. (Also doesn't Anakin like resurrect her with the Force or something? The power he was trying to get in RotS when it's pretty explicit it isn't a thing and Palpatine was lying to him to mainpulate him? Filoni broke canon just so precious widdle Ahsoka won't die? Are you shitting me???)

[bruhbrosworld]

Enemies To Lovers

Allison Hargreeves x GN! Reader

this was a request from @emobensgf2

TW: Mentions of knives and violence

-oh boy.

-it all starts in the acting industry, as most hateful relationships between people do

-you're vibrant, a titan in the celebrity life, and so broadly strung out for your talent

-and allison coincidentally is too

-she's new, she's drop dead gorgeous, and everything comes easily to her

-you can't help but feel a little jealous

-but when you meet her at an audition, which admittedly isn't the best place to meet, you hope the interaction clears the air in your mind

-after all, even if she is everything you wish you could be, she also seems kind and lovely to all around her

-and she is! when you meet you can't possibly imagine a more perfect person, which is albeit a little frustrating, but also incredibly relieving at the same time

-she compliments your looks, praises your previous work, and you do the same

-but it was premature

-one night, at an award ceremony, it all goes to shit

-you're sitting at a table with other people like you, glamorous and enviable stars, and allison is at the same table, which you feel a little excited by

-a beautiful, statuesque woman sitting beside you is always a gift

-it's fun, it's light, you all get drunk and playfully and familiarly jest at one another, happy for the reprieve from the perfected projection of each of your lives

-she touches your arm once while she laughs at your joke and your heart jumps through your ribcage

-but somehow, one wise-crack became too many, and someone dangerously wondered who was more deserving of the role

-you or allison?

-it's awkward, and while it begins jokingly as each of you tries to brush it off, allison slips up by saying that while she could see your prowess and talent, she believed she could embody the role better

-it takes you aback, but you try to remain cordial

-yet as you make way to defend your claim to the role, all of it falls apart

-what started off playful becomes something childish and petty as each of you swiftly and rampantly list reasons why you should have the role, and eventually why the other shouldn't

-it gets viciously personal as the rounds go on, and by the time it ends, neither one of you can remember who made it that way, and how it began

- it ends, believe it or not, with a foodfight

-she says something about you not being talented enough for the role, and you bite back

-you make mistake of making a jab a little too personal, something about her past or her powers

-allison throws her drink in your face

-you can feel the humiliation paint your features, and some part of you wonders if you deserved it if someone as nice as allison took the time to do something like this to you

-but another part of you boils, rages

-there is another, more puzzling thought that comes to mind

-you somewhat enjoyed her being mean to you, but the thought is abruptly devoured by the rest

-she then, of course, sharply wonders if you had enjoyed bed-hopping throughout hollywood to could climb your way to the top

-you end up throwing mashed potatoes at her face, which now you can see was not a very adult reaction, but it's almost completely instinctual as it happens

-you're both escorted out with various consumables dripping and hanging from your bodies soon after

-and there's no need to wonder, it's def in the tabloids and a story in every news outlet the next day

-it's war from then on.

-neither one of you are outright rude. no, that would be unbecoming.

-when reporters and paparrazi bombard both of you with questions about the incident, it goes with no comment from either of you.

-honestly, you both have regret and want to quickly, and quietly forget the whole scene, but another part then remembers what the other said and you can't push down the despise that bubbles up

-the role goes to allison, which angers you so much you're sure there's steam coming out of your ears

-but there are other battles, and when you're invited on talk shows and podcasts, you politely, and subtly, backhandedly congratulate and comment on her work

-she does the same, saying this movie was good but not to her taste, or your outfit did wonders for your face

-she's spreads rumors throughout the acting underground, and so do you

-and every time you both show up to an audition, the room falls deathly silent and the tension thickens to a crescendo

-but, by some sickening miracle, you both are signed on for the same project as romantic interests for one another's characters

-ultimately, a terrible decision by everyone involved but work is work and you won't miss out on a incredible, blockbuster project just because of her

-it's a disaster from day one, she's making sly comments on how unprofessional you are, and you're making polite but pointed remarks on how fake she's coming across

-the romance scenes are awful, practically deathly, because no matter how much you hate her, your heart jumps like the first time when she touches you

-your body alights with something when you have to kiss, and something about the way she tugs your hair and grips your arm feels a little too real for comfort

-when she pulls away, there's something white hot tingling between your bodies as her eyes brandish you with her own bewildered questions

-if you could physically beat yourself up for how your being reacts around her, you would

--there's no food fights like before, but it's a cycle of competition and hate that never ends

-everyday, both of you wake up with the one objective of tearing the other down to be the best

-tbh, you wonder how someone who seems so lovely and kind is the devil incarnate hellbent on ruining your reputation for one drunk night

-and why, why out of everyone, you had decided she was worth all of your time and energy to hate

-why were you so obsessed with her?

-you can't figure it out, you can't let it go

-until one day, you catch her crying in the restroom

-you walk in, jokingly excusing yourself from a conversation into the sounds of muffled cries from a stall in the corner

-you obviously feel horrible for whoever's in there, but you figure they'd rather be left alone than have to endure being asked by someone who probably couldn't understand

-you do your business a few stalls down, and as you bend down to pick up a dropped earring, you look over and everything inside you deflates

-you'd know those exceptionally fashionable heels anywhere

-allison hargreeves is crying a few stalls away from you

-and she more than definitely knows you're a few stalls away from her, too

-you were talking when you walked in, after all

-you expect to feel some sort of cruel pride in the revelation, that she is just as human and messy as you are, that she's not as perfect as she desires to be

-but instead, you just feel a reluctant sympathy for her.

-it's the absolute worst as you feel like your world turns on it's head as you quietly gather your things and step out, more than sure that she didn't want comfort, and that she definitely didn't want comfort from you

-when you do, however, you hear two assistants talking shit about her by a catered table

-any other day, you'd probably smile a little, but today something about you is different

-you walk up, and you watch that sparkle in their eyes brighten, the worshipping sparkle that came to everyone who saw you

-and then, you stomp it out in two seconds

-you scold them openly for talking badly about the crew and the actors, heatedly explaining that actors were people with problems too, and even threatening to have them fired for slanderous rumors

-they apologize profusely, one of them possibly on the verge of tears as they stumble away

-and as you whirl around, feeling somewhat satisfied with your work, you find allison watching, head tilted, eyes rimmed vaguely with red

-it jerks you to a stop

-her eyes bore into yours with a question why, with a fear of you holding this over her head, and you feel the tension and mortification rear it's head back, ready to defend and strike

-but instead of rising to the occasion, you give the most genuine shrug you can manage, one that says "i have no clue what you're talking about"

-something between you diminishes, the reared head seems to put itself to bed for good

-she gives you an puzzled, but somewhat appreciative look, a hesitant thank you

-as she turns on her heel and strides away

-you feel a door unlock between you both, an entirely new feeling

-a begrudging respect blooms, and suddenly, the world around you both shifts

-sure, you still don't like each other, but now there's civility and everybody else feels it

-you let her figure out her acting style without remark, and she doesn't jab at your personality or work

--the crew even watches on in wide-eyed shock when you both eat lunch close to one another once, silent and uncaring, one of you reading a book and the other texting

-the romance scenes go with unsaid words, you both seem to make the same silent agreement to not speak of it

-somewhere in the back of your mind, you can feel that open door between you creaking, the invitation to walk in

-you stay at the threshold

-all of the rumors, all of the nasty jabs die down, and the rest of the project goes out with a smooth finish

-you part ways but not before she can take you aside and genuinely thank you

-both of you are alone in your trailer, and the white hot stinging begins slithering throughout your limbs and stomach as she stiffly sits

-it's weirdly formal as she expresses her strained gratitude, quietly adding that she had been having a tough time

-and, with a final sigh, she relents and admits you're not as bad as she thought you were

-you gape like a suffocating fish, barely managing a "thank you" and a "you, too" as she gives you a small, but true smile

-with that particular and perfect flourish, she's gone

-on the plane ride home, you silently wonder why she was having a hard time in the first place

-three weeks after everything wraps up, you hear word that allison and her husband split

-which is horrible, terrible, awful

-but

-you have to stamp out a strange hopeful flicker inside of you

-but it doesn't ebb away, it stays like an apparent thumbtack in your side as you lie awake at night and dream of her

-you catch yourself looking off into space thinking of her lips, and her style, and everything that has anything to do with her

-it only quiets when you finally see her again at a party

-you don't speak for hours as everyone jokes and drinks, spinning around one another like opposed magnets

-but your eyes are glued to her, and you catch her staring at you more than a few times

-you walk out for some fresh air before everyone eats and when you walk back in, you find her

-unusually, she sits somberly by herself on the stairs as the rest mingle around dinner when you enter

-she watches as you breeze past her, head on her hand and sure you're pouncing on your chance to fill her spot

-but instead, you come back with two drinks and an offer

-it all begins and ends on a porch swing, both of you awkward with your words and unsure of the other's thoughts

-you offer some condolences regarding her split, she congratulates you on a nomination, you ask about her stylist and she compliments your organization

-it's an impasse

-so you decide honesty is best in this situation

-you decide it's your turn to relent

-you say you're sorry for how you've acted

-you explain yourself, but you also admit that there aren't any excuses for how you held yourself

-you tell her you've always envied her, always liked her, always wanted...

-you trail off there

-what did you want?

-the sun has gone down past the horizon and a few stars undress themselves against the dark sky, the wind breathes against your bare legs, and you look up from your thought to meet her melted gaze

-she's looking at you, and this time it looks as though she's truly seeing you

-and she grins, a full-fledge sparkly grin, picture perfect in every way

-you're a goner

-nothing had made sense before, but as your heart leaps into your throat and a throng of butterflies bursts inside of you, you realize a skewed truth

-you wanted her

-the night goes easier with a more subtle heat, as she also apologizes and explains that she had oddly felt the same about you

-she says that she had never wanted to dislike you, never wanted to keep that nasty feud between you going

-she even opens up a little about her marriage, about her life and always feeling insecure about how she made her way into her job

-you're both have somehow seen the worst of one another before anything else, and you find that all that you didn't know ironically is on the same wavelength as the other

-after that, she invites you out to various places, dress shopping, bar-hopping, all and in-between

-you're besties by like the third time you're out together

-literally glamour incarnate when you walk into any place together, style dripping on the floor as she clings to your arm, laughing at your jokes and listening to your interests with genuine intrigue

-you talk for hours as you get your nails done

-she tells you tidbits about her past, divulges her fears about her ex and daughter while you comfort her with a soft hand on her arm

-you've always wondered about the academy and her powers, but you never venture to ask

-besides, you're sure she'll tell you when she's ready

-one night a friend asks if you're dating, and you break out in a sweat at the thought

-oh god, were you dating? was all that hanging out brought with romantic subtext?

-you havent't been acting like it, there hasn't been anything explicitly said, why would people think that?

-no, it couldn't be

-but it lingers again, a thumbtack in your skin, fading but emerging again when she introduces you to her daughter, and then later, the rest of her family

-her daughter, claire, is the sweetest, and she babbles to you for hours about her favorite ice cream and her new toys

-allison catches you coloring with claire once, playfully arguing with her about why dolphins were superior to sharks

-allison never says anything, but she feels something inside of her bloom for you

-her family, on the other hand, is a grab bag of oddities

-it goes well, surprisingly, besides a few intense questions from two of her brothers as one hulks over you with massive height and the other looms with various sharp objects strapped to his body

-there's also a thirteen year old boy with the dialect of a fifty year old history teacher, an eccentric man in a skirt who you find pleasantly delightful despite him for sure being on something, and a short, shy, but lovely woman who greets you with a polite warmth

-they all ask allison if you're dating when you leave, and while she denies it, she wonders herself if what you were doing together was, in fact, dating

-but the moment never comes for either of you to ask, so you continue dancing around one another with unspoken reverence

-but a time comes for everything, and it comes one night not long after

-she's been gone for weeks, on some project in the UK and the thumbtack nags at your side every time you think of her

-it comes late at night while you walk towards your car away from a meet with some friends, deep in thought as you unlock the car

-typically, there would be a broad man in black beside of you, a bodyguard, protecting your every move, but you had sent him away for the night

-sometimes it's nice to go out with supervision, honestly

-but it was evidently a horrible night to choose to be without him, as two hooded men approach you with obviously bad intentions

-soon, you're pinned against your car as they dig through your belongings, talking all the while if you're worth the money

-you'd like to think you are, but you're too frozen with fear to joke about something like that

-when the guy pinning you pulls out a switch blade and slices a threat into your cheek, you tremble

-then, suddenly, his entire weight disappears from your back with one fluid movement

-when you whirl to get your bearings, you stare, wide-eyed as allison, strong and capable, disarms him and throws him against his friend

-you'd always assumed at the back of your mind that she surely had to know some form of martial art due to her being raised in the academy, but getting to see her in action brings the reality into double vision

-then, you watch on, shaking, as she bends down to their hunched and huddled forms, and you hear it

-"i heard a rumor..." slips her teeth, and the rest is a blur

-you watch as the men's eyes glaze over, and they stand sure but lethargically

-they walk away, slow and certain, and allison watches them go with a heaving chest and bloody knuckles

-she's so powerful, perfect in every way even if she can't see it and you burn for her

-you feel that white hot feeling surface and bleed from your skin, desire clutching your every move, and you can lock it inside of yourself no longer

-you claw your way through the wide open door

-you stumble toward her before she can even blink, hands clasping her face with every unsaid ache you hid, and you smash your lips to hers

-you can feel her fumble backwards a bit, but then her arms encircle you with fierce abandon as she moves her tongue in tandem with yours

-it's a need at this point as you make out in the middle of an alley, her grasping you as if you're about to run away from her, and you pressing yourself back with a promise in your bones

-she is not gentle with you, however you would never want her to be. she plants herself on you like an accidental bruise, paints you with her spit and desire in blood and gentleness

-you're afraid and hungry, starving for her but also wary of what may come next

-she may decide this was a mistake, it may just be for the heat of the moment, but you don't care. you can't care when she's holding you like this

-after, when your lips are swollen and she's clinging to you, she leans in with a softer, relenting kiss

-a thank you for the one before, and an oath for more to come after

-her wild glint in her eye simmers still, screaming with a thousand "i love you's" but never saying just that

-and when she asks if you're alright, when she fusses over your cut and the tremor in your frame, you'll know

-whatever comes after, the sleepless nights and delicate balance, you're ready for it all

-there you stand, body knitted against body, in the middle of a dark street

-you finally ask her if you were dating

-and she finally says yes

[gloriouswhispers]

the rapid retort, and correction, from felix pulls an immediate groan from leo, his head tilting as if the smart-assery pains him. 'ack, jesus. take a day off.' he gripes before a laugh escapes harshly, leo waving his hand in mock encouragement for felix's continued story. 'that'll hold up in court. your honor, i got dibs.' he mutters disparagingly but swept within enough amusement to keep his good mood unbreakable. a mischievous grin winds itself over leo's lips, and the sinclair gives the moody ranstromen a flash of a smile. 'okay, great. love that. now we just need to solve the mystery about why you were reading apple juice for kids.'

amusement remains as leo watches felix and henrik, hovering by the entry of the living room with a smirk. 'i didn't.' he interjects simply as felix mentions the breakage of the lego. in his own defense, leo didn't have the faintest clue that they would be so fragile. he fails to see why the millennium falcon, which is a space ship, can't be thrown to simulate flight. a design flaw, truly. 'the wall broke it.' because technicalities matter, and always will. but it suddenly becomes evident that the entire moment is too much for young henrik, and despite amusement crossing leo's features as his nephew turns on the other uncle, the erupting tears are like a little ptsd alarm. 'oh shit...' leo's expression drops as the boy is yet again, inconsolable and he glances to felix with a quick yikes. 'my bad.' he mutters, stepping closer to try and console henrik...again. 'i told you not to show him it.' he adds with a shot glare to felix.

'hey, it's all good buddy.' leo says, patting the boys head as he crouches to henrik's level. albeit, the broken pieces are in the trash and the salvaged ones are in a bag. 'it's just got...something wrong with the CEC YT-1300.' yes, he watched star wars and felix isn't the only one who memorizes things, which is why leo gives the ranstromen a raised brow momentarily. 'so this one is just until the other one gets fixed up. and what's cool is we get to make it all over again, but with felix this time. and then han solo will drop off your one again...in a few weeks.' oh shit...did leo just create a demand for another replacement?

"I hate you." Felix muttered under his breath before a quick scoff of a laugh followed as Leo mentioned the tape. "As opposed to...me stealing from metaphorical kids?" he twisted the words with a self-pleased grin. "Anyways, I didn't steal from anyone. I touched the box first before those tiny gremlins got anywhere near it. And the mother. She was a tiny gremlin too." he recounted the events with a hint of bitterness yet amusement. "Wouldn't do all these rumors any good if you managed to get a tape from a store without true permission." Felix reminded Leo, a smug smirk replacing the grin on his face. Which dropped away instantly as he rolled his eyes. "Oh, here we go." he groaned at yet another conversation about parenthood with one of the Sinclairs. "I read things, Leo. And I retain the information because my brain works the way it's supposed to."

Another scoff followed from Felix at the Sinclair's feigned innocence but he was more focused on spending time with Henrik. Thanks to Leo's quip over their texts that planted a little seed of guilt in the back of his brain. Felix lowered into a sit on the couch, perching at the edge so he could be at a far less intimidating height for the young witch. The new lego set in his hands for Henrik to look over...which didn't quite go to plan. "That's because Leo broke it, right?" Felix answered Henrik's curiosity. "Which is rude..." his words trailed off as his nephew clearly was showing both Sinclair and Ranstromen particularity. "Well, they're the same...they're made in a factory, Henrik. Probably by machines your mom designs too." Felix tried to placate, before Leo managed to twist the situation and Henrik was staring at him with hurt behind his eyes. "I didn't think it was bad, I didn't even see it." why didn't you see it!? "...Leo broke it, Henrik. I just...I just got here." but it was too late. The young witch was in tears, with bold claims about needing his lego set back and how his Uncle Fe hated it. Felix blinked, his gaze sliding to Leo with an unimpressed glare. "Why the hell did you do that?"

[space-blue]

Oh man, what a tumultuous time to contract Star Wars brainrot! After recovering from a major case of Arcane addiction, BoBF seemed like a good time after how much I had enjoyed The Mandalorian. Now I'm in this surreal situation where the past two weeks have been The Mandalorian Season 2.5 with enough cameos to make a fanfic author blush. To the credit of this week's episode though, I have FALLEN for Cad Bane and must do myself the justice of experiencing him properly in The Clone Wars!

My god I wrote you a super long, super detailed answer with tons of links and gifs and shit and then firefox just hiccuped and I lost everything, including my will to live.

Siiiigh.

Anyway, the short of it is: if you fell for Bane as he is in Bobf, looking like a putty model of an overly flossed fucked up child of the Mouth of Mordor and Nosferatu, then you're in big trouble, because his Clone Wars and Bad Batch appearances are SO fucking good.

King is not even the same character. Ahem, I mean, he actually has a personality in those, he's not a cameo. Since he's not one of the mainline villains, he's also allowed to succeed, making him one of the most efficient baddies in the series. He's a fun loving guy too, even if his definition of fun is to commit crimes and earn good credits... He's genuinely living his best life, smiles and laughs often, acts like a grumpy blue Clint Eastwood... I love him.

And wait until you meet Todo 360, his sassy little short king of a droid, totally not a buttler droid!

Anyway, this wasn't Bane... I refuse. I close my eyes. Where's his hat? Is the hat safe? Is the hat OK? You know, the large hat he literally kills someone for? Where's his toothpick? Where's his attitude? Why is he acting like he's some feather ruffled Pyke? Why is he walking out of the desert? Why is the most expensive bounty hunter in the galaxy being paid to intimidate a bunch of miners in a settlement that isn't even on planetary maps, on a shit-hole planet, where no one even recognises him? Why??

Well, once you're done getting in touch with your inner alien-lover, let me offer you these recs :

This fic by @ashcroft-writes is a Bane/Kenobi fic, but don't run away, it's actually a true galaxy brain pairing. The writing is fantastic, the smut is stellar, but the characterisation, the plot? The worldbuilding???

You come in for Bane smut and snaz, you stay for the incredible story. Like, this fic will cleanse your skin and water your crops. I can't stress this enough. It's something else. It has politics, banter, inner turmoil, action... Did I mention the smut?? Urghhm

This link goes to all 7 of my fics featuring Cad Bane. I had made you little summaries with hyperlinks in them for all of them, to explain better but... I don't have the energy to go over this again and risk getting shafted by the evil gods of technology once more.

In I'll make It Worth Your While (which you can read fandom blind) Cad adopts a kid. She features as an adult in a lot of later stories, either a side character (Cross Over My Heart, A Single Slice of Lemon Cake, and I'll Give You A Reward) or as a main PoV character (In Odd Company).

@spicedrobot also recently tripped and fell face first into the Cad Bane mania, and I totally didn't have my foot out. Very much looking forward to what arises from that tumble ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

Whatever you do, don't miss out on reading the Darth maul comics (and DM me if you want them for zero credits). They're an excellent self contained story, and feature a ton of Cad Bane being... Cad Bane and like

you know

Parting thoughts : I can't believe you claim to have recovered from Arcane addiction. Seriously, what's the trick? I'm still crying in my corner trying to think of other things and getting whipped by my Muse. It's Silco or die in here. You're probably healthier than I am I guess lol