#And it's like yeah you shouldn't be dating anyone
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chaostudee Β· 2 days ago
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afterglow, oscar piastri
summary : y/n and oscar are childhood bestfriends and y/n tries to be supportive as she can by coming to his races and cheering him on. oscar enjoys y/n's company but sometimes he wishes that he could have you all to himself. in truth you are both just to stubborn to admit that you like each other, a little more than just friends. faceclaim : julia hatch a/n : i'm so obsessed with this acc <3
y/nusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, sabrinacarpenter, and 456,618 others.
user627 oml
username_11 the prettiest redhead
user9_782 oh girl we need the workout routine asap
sabrinacarpenter literally the most perfect ever πŸ’‹
y/nusername all you babes
username1415 to look like y/n 😫
f1fan the prettiest non-wag
user771 in my eyes she's a wag idc
y/nusername love supporting you bestie <3
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》 girl u literally travel the whole world supporting him.....it's giving girlfriend
》 there is nooooo way they are just friends
》 my fav bestiessss
》 she's so supportive eeek i love her !!
》 our mclaren queen
oscarpiastri great weekend with a good haul of points !!
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liked by y/nusername, landonorris, carlossainz and 4,618,929 others.
y/nusername so so proud of you !!
oscarpiastri ❀️
user728 my fav driver forever
f1fan how can u hate on this cutie
username661 great drive oscar !!
user992 i will always be a mclaren girl idc
user290 oscar pastry
oscarpiastri y/n forced me to post these pictures.
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liked by y/nusername, landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux and 2,729,562 others.
y/nusername okay but FORCED is such a strong word....i encouraged you
user728 omgg y/n is so gorge
f1fan okay but appreciation for oscar's photography skills because wowww
user910 love them sm acc
username_56 oh how i love summer break content
user72 oscar pls lemme steal your bsf
f1lover proof the boys and girls can just be friends
landonorris
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》 IS THAT Y/N?!?!
》 LANDO WTHHH OMGGG
》 oscar is defo going to be mad
》 um what in the world
》 posting this on your public story is crazyyy
》 i don't want to hear anyone start saying that they are dating istggg
ΰΌ˜Λšβ‹†π™šο½‘β‹†π–¦Ή.✧˚
texts between y/n and oscar
were you with lando today?? oscar
yeah y/n
oh i didn't know you guys were close oscar
we're just hanging out y/n
yeah right, i know lando oscar
omg stop oscar i can do what i want y/n
ik ik that y/n i'm just warning you oscar
okay well i rly don't care about what you think y/n
fine oscar
fine y/n
ΰΌ˜Λšβ‹†π™šο½‘β‹†π–¦Ή.✧˚
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y/nusername now my life is sweet like cinnamon
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liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux, charlesleclerc and 1,772,929 others.
user728 oh !
username_89 she's really just that girl
f1fan not seeing oscar in the likes hurts
user627 imagine your teammate and bsf dating bleh
f1lover living for this drama idc
alexandrasaintmleux obssessed with the dress you look so gorge <3
y/nusername omgg tysmm it's from meskhi
user56 lando and oscar i fear i get it
username72 body is teaaa
f1_672 appreciation for the car 🫠
landonorris amazing weekend great to be back on the podium :)
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liked by y/nusername, charlesleclerc, maxverstappen and 3,618,701 others.
maxverstappen great drive mate and a well deserved win
user that's my goat 🐐
username617 ugh his smile i cant
f1lover omgg best race of the season
user55 so ready for a drive to survive episode on this madness
user728 that podium is literally my dream blunt rotation
f1fan YES U GET IT user756 like carlos, lando and oscar omll i was dying username_55 it was all good until we got no landoscar interaction user617 stopp don't remind me 😭😭
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ΰΌ˜Λšβ‹†π™šο½‘β‹†π–¦Ή.✧˚
texts between y/n and oscar
hey.... y/n
oh wow you're talking to me again oscar
well i figured u needed space y/n
i never wanted space y/n i was just angry oscar
oh okay y/n
so did u want something or...?? oscar
well yk halloween is coming up y/n
oh you still want to do the costume oscar
well i mean we do it every year osc y/n
yeah true, well i guess we shouldn't break tradition oscar
oh yayyy great i'll send you the details :) y/n
ΰΌ˜Λšβ‹†π™šο½‘β‹†π–¦Ή.✧˚
*written*
you stood adjusting your dress as excited chatter filled the room. the party was now in full swing and oscar had still not shown up. sure you had your doubts that he wouldn't but you had known oscar all your life, he wouldn't do that to you.
as if on cue the front door swings open and none other than the man himself steps inside before scanning the room. it's not long before his eyes latch onto yours and it feels as though your heart stops. you can't remember the last time you had seen him and the last time you weren't having an argument over something. oscar smiles and your heart begins to thump in your chest as you see him making his way over to you.
"hey" a familair voice beckons your attention.
you look up at him and smile when you notice that he wore the costume." nice costume" you say giggling as you tuck your hair behind your ear.
"oh yeah my best friend got it for me"
you nod smiling back at him. "so how have you been?"
you roll your eyes before drawing your attention back to him. "is this your subtle way of asking if me and lando are still together"
"i don't care about that" he blatantly lies, scrunching his nose.
"well if you must know we are taking a break right now he said he was too busy for a serious relationship".
oscar scoffs. "what an asshole".
"he's your bestfriend" you say confusingly as you believed that lando and oscar were close.
"yeah but so are you".
your heart warms when you hear that and you feel as though in that moment your friendship has been mended through unspoken words. yet you still wished that he would notice, notice how obviously and madly in love with him you are. you watched as he looked into the distance and there you sat admiring something from afar and out of reach.
y/nusername halloween ;)
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, maxverstappen and 11,772,929 others.
user HUH
user728 i'm so confused
f1fan u and me both girl
user61 if i was lando i would be so pissed BECAUSE WDYM THEY DID A COUPLES COSTUME TOGETHER
f1lover the real ogs know that they do a couples costume every year
user919 ya'll are hating but I LOVE
justaninchident oh how i missed them
user671 lando be tweaking rn
username717 the fits are on point
f1_55 blink twice oscar if u need help
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mclaren lando and oscar youtube video up now !
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, user782 and 554,818 others.
user728 OMG THEY MADE UP
username LANDOSCAR YES YES
anon defo just pr
f1fan not lando calling oscar out for getting flustered over y/n πŸ’€
justaninchident okay but the way oscar and lando are looking at eachother omg i acc can't
ΰΌ˜Λšβ‹†π™šο½‘β‹†π–¦Ή.✧˚
texts between lando and y/n
you like him don't you lando
what makes u think that ?? y/n
are u fr y/n lando
the fact that you never stop talking about him and that everytime we are in the garage you can't keep your eyes off him lando
what do you even want me to say?! y/n
i want you to admit it lando
okay fine i like oscar y/n
for how long lando
lando pls y/n
y/n just tell me lando
i mean i've always loved him i just i don't know if he feels the same y/n
oh god you are both so so stupid lando
ΰΌ˜Λšβ‹†π™šο½‘β‹†π–¦Ή.✧˚
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ΰΌ˜Λšβ‹†π™šο½‘β‹†π–¦Ή.✧˚
texts between y/n and oscar
how come u and lando don't hang out as much oscar
wow straight to the point y/n
well why oscar
because y/n
because why oscar
because he's not you y/n
wdym oscar
omg you are so clueless , i never liked lando silly he was just a distraction a way to trick my mind into liking someone else y/n
oh well who do u like oscar
do i actually have to say y/n
yes i want to hear you say it oscar
you y/n
ΰΌ˜Λšβ‹†π™šο½‘β‹†π–¦Ή.✧˚
y/nusername my boy πŸ’ž
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liked by oscarpiastri, charlesleclerc, alexandrasaintmleux and 14,717,896 others.
user828 EEEEEEEEEKKKKK
username728 YES FINALLY
user734 STOP THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME
alexandrasaintmleux so so happy for you, you deserve this sm <3
landonorris happy for you's
user561 awww username717 and this is why i love lando
user727 the hard launch is launching
f1fan omgggg im cryinggg
username_62 they are so perfect for each other
taglist β­‘.ᐟ
@lottalove4evelyn
@sweetestgirlintown111
@mxryxmfooty
@hadidsworld
@llando4norris
@heavy-vettel
@janeh22
@love2readd
@depressedriches
@seonghwaexile
@nichmeddar
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animalcuckllective Β· 9 months ago
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The yandere femcel group should really change their name since everyone in the group seems to be polyamorous sex workers. Not the kind of people I think of when I think yandere femcel.
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gender-critical-analytical Β· 5 months ago
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the way some of you clearly think bisexuals don't experience actual attraction and feelings for people, but rather decide ahead of time if they want a man or a woman this time and then just go and pick whoever comes into their line of sight next is so obvious and definitely makes me think you all don't need to speak on things you don't know about
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letbuckfuck Β· 10 days ago
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i think maybe it's not such a good thing that i've just totally shut myself off from the idea of dating at all because i thought it wasn't my thing. like maybe i should just be trying
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maliciousmalfeasance Β· 21 days ago
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can't believe i have to wait til jan at the earliest to find out if i have the scary disease that causes silent heart attacks that i tick almost every symptom of..... if i die between now and then im going to haunt my doctors so hard
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beeseverywhen Β· 1 year ago
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god the duality between 'I don't want someone in my house' and 'yeah I'd like my own kids and no way I'm doing that alone'
#like ppl who don't want kids should be free to live their lives without ppl being like 'watch out! your biological clock is ticking!'#that's bullshit ppl shouldn't say that. but also. i would like kids and#after so many years trying not to get pregnant and that seeming like a worst case scenario. so desperately wanting to not become my parents#now i am an age where I'd happily have a kid if i were in the right life situation & i don't feel I've got all the time in the world anymore#lol like. the space in between 'too young to have a baby' and 'old enough that i risk more health issues/ will be an older parent'#feels way way narrower than i ever would have assumed lol. esp. because all the parents in my family are so young. the idea of being an#older parent is so strange to me. I'm so aware of the things you can't do when you're older and how it's harder work to run after them#and like my body is already wearing out way faster than anyone elses. my health's only gonna get worse so.#being an older parent just doesn't seem an option. not to mention like. the older i am the less generations I'll get to see.#i want to be a great grandmother damnit. lol.#like I'm on a clock. to get over my commitment issues or it legit won't happen. but yeah. can't think of anything worse than having#to have someone in my house. if i was rich enough to have lots of space that's one thing but. I'm not lol.#and rich ppl rub me up the wrong way whenever they try and chat me up so doubt I'm gonna marry in to money looool#like i have come to terms with the fact that. if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. id rather not get to be a mother than to settle#like that whole 'looking for a partner' dating life is not for me i can't think of anything worse. if it happens it happens#I'll either meet the right person who im willing to give up an empty house for or i won't looool#and it's not like im giving up the whole raising kids thing completely.#like I've got to play a significant hand in raising my siblings even if i didn't ask for that. I've got to see them grow and#help them reach those milestones. and whatever the circumstances I'm blessed to have had them in my life#even if i don't have my own kids I'm always gonna have kids in my life even if I'm an aunt rather than grandmother you know#I'm lucky to be in a family where raising kids is a communal thing. but yeah id love to have my own kids & have someone that looks like me#but I'm not willing to bring someone in to the world in non opportune circumstances deliberately.#like if it's up to me i want them to have 2 parents to look out for them and 2 parents that at least stand a chance of liking each other lol
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mxgyver Β· 2 years ago
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deathlygristly Β· 9 months ago
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Having the vapors about "dark" fiction strikes me as a very upper middle class way of looking at things. Most kids are not protected and constantly watched over and they don’t have have families with easy access to the best health care and they aren’t seen as high status when they are out in society.
Most kids learn that life isn’t babies laughing in the sun pretty early. Like my father died suddenly of a heart attack a month after I turned seven, so it’s really alienating when people online say that just reading a book where a character dies was so terrible for them as a child.
My husband’s mother suddenly died when he was 17. He’s the oldest of five. The youngest was 5. Their father was severely bipolar, as in he spent the years before their mother died lying in bed to the point that he made a deep depression in the bed, and once during a manic phase it took four firefighters to hold him down. I'd imagine the stress of dealing with him and working two jobs and raising five kids on her own contributed to their mother's death.
And we’re white, although working class. Kids who aren’t white don’t get to be protected from prejudice and hate and gently introduced to it in a book at an β€œappropriate” age with adults around them being super precious and cosseting about it when they read it. They have to learn things like being wary around police officers as soon as they're able to grasp the concept.
I don’t know. I just think it takes a lot of privilege to be "traumatized" by encountering things in books that are just basic every day life stuff to the majority of people.
I’m not sure exactly how to articulate it butβ€”there is this bizarre base assumption i see from people discoursing about children’s media, and that’s the assumption that children are somehow unfamiliar with negative emotions. Like, maybe you’ve managed to completely forget your entire life before you turned eighteen, but kids spend a lot of time being hurt, and scared, and angry. A lot of people had terrible fucking childhoods, and a lot of kids are having terrible fucking childhoods right now. When i was a child, and i read books where bad things happened to kids, that was in no way shocking to me, i already knew bad things happened to children. It made me feel more connected to those stories, not less, and it made it more impactful when those child characters overcame it all in the end. That’s important for children. A lot of them are in desperate need of a little hope, and they aren’t going to get it from nothing stories with no conflict. They put conflict in children’s media for a reason
Also i see some of you handwringing over child protagonists going through, like, the most basic hero’s journey. Please, for the love of god, realize that you as an adult are going to understand children’s media differently than the actual kids it’s intended for. Because you’re all grown up now, you aren’t going to be able to relate to a child protagonist. You’re going to see a child in danger. The children the story is meant for are going to see a kid like them who is able to face hardship and triumph
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unproduciblesmackdown Β· 9 months ago
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some threads woven together flawlessly. or fumbled with intently until it's like Look [holds out a cat's cradle] but no. it's good & real
smthing "i can't believe it's this Telling!" about Romance(tm) being multiple times hearing this sentiment like. "okay talking about relationships right. dating has always come easily to me / i've been lucky / i'm Good At romance: i was not single for more than 5 consecutive days from the autumn of '34 to Now. but it wasn't until my late twenties 90 yrs & dozens of Romantic partners into it that, for the first time ever: one of those relationships was actually like, good." and it's like damn i can't believe it's that Telling. that the remarks have this would be twist / punchline (not actually delivered as such. it's not unexpected to them?) that still gets framed thusly as being Successful in dating. spending eons with a bunch of people involved in bad relationships, but you weren't Not dating
also reminded in terms of [i don't really have any podcasts i'm listening to] like one i was like "hm i've heard some episodes. i'll put this one on in the background" then dropkicking it out the window like 10 min in b/c irrelevantly this Guest was like "real talk. ugh it's sooo cool to be poly nowadays 9_9 everyone has to be poly but i'm Naught into it!!! i guess i Feel too much. i want PASSION and DRAMA!!! this is just like how pop in the late '00s / '10s was all 'feminist' telling you to be independent sluts well i care about true LOVE" and like. i don't remember but i don't think they were a man, i'm quite surer they were queer, it was just so fucking lmfao like would you get thee fuck out of here. we actually don't live in "it's like it's illegal to be monogamous :(" world you're not Edgy now b/c you're insecure about what you see as "trendy" but don't Get / don't want in on. you're not going against the grain for being like "maybe i Do want to settle down with my soulmate" like great news that's normative. pick another queer group to Project on b/c they'd rupture your idea of the Bounds of queerness where you're like "ugh they're so mainstream & ruining it for us True queers disrupting the cishet agenda (arguing for queerness to be on The Terms Of said cishet agenda)" e.g. ohh the cishet agenda is pro asexuality!!! (it is not. even if it was? is the Queer Agenda for some people to have to deny their own sexuality & "have" to have sex a certain kind of way with certain people? up next "bi women: gender traitors, why not Choose to (have to) have only certain kinds of sex w/certain people :)" trans people gender traitors We decide what everyone's gender is, bit fucked up of you to be deciding your own huh, what Assumptions are you making you sicko?? you Have to identify / present xyz certain ways or you're failing to be the gender vanguard like we are) like what if the queer agenda was about everything we Can do. we Can have this sex w/these people sure, & we Can: Not do that w/them. like oh no what if cishet men were able to get their hands on the gay resources only when we recognize Aro/Ace identities can ppl Say "yeah i'm....hehe....Not cishet"? legitimate question Yeah What Then. oh no. god's wounds What If you can just say you're trans now & change your pronouns every day. like yeah let's let everyone do that. what if we all did. oh no lol. oh my god more people are talking about polyamory like they're allowed to talk about polyamory & if my monogamy isn't Assumed ""normal"" & i might feel like it's thus more in question?? well don't mind me as i get defensive by way of Derisive & start scoffing & spitting at the queers making the rest of us look bad but we're Really fighting the fight out here (doing what we were already doing but now feeling extra smug & self satisfied about it?)
like "ohh i have too much Emotion for that" like who said you didn't. why do you think polyamory involves less emotion or passion or desire or commitment or whatever. it sure doesn't posit it necessarily requires More either. it posits that it is not monogamy. & like christ Congratulations then. congratulations on having too much of a heart. that is then used to sneer & backbite like i forgot that this person on this damn podcast also brought this up b/c a friend or acquaintance who was poly made whatever kind of proposition & here they are on some podcast going Ugh & talking about how they have too much passion, despite years of top40 telling them, according to them, that feminism is sluttiness now (again this is. according to them. Groundbreaking circling back to bog standard misogyny) & isn't it so groundbreaking in turn if a woman were to sing love songs? imagine. you can have emotions & passion & drama taking the parking spot a stranger wanted. You could've brought the monogamy with a poly partner, when the Agenda for it is always distilled to Exclusivity, like, bring your own, huh? like your own Feelings & Passions & Commitment. but obviously it is the assumption that the poly partner is the Inadequate one there who would be causing any relationship to be Lacking. b/c they sure didn't frame it as some matter of fact Mismatch or else try to start being outright about how poly people are, like the bisexuals, these sluts (feminists!!) who are only giving you Part of themselves when you deserve All Access to your exclusive, locked in partner!!! & like good lord do you ever? with your Reliable kinsey endzones binary gender soulmate for life, do you?? locking them in what, why. excluding what, why. accessing all of what, why.
Romance(tm) being defined by Exclusivity defined by entitlement to as much of this other person as you want, to ensure that exclusivity: compare w/the boundless potential Threats or already Violations to thee proper romantic relationship. spending too much time with other people, sharing too much with them, getting too much support, feeling too much towards them, valuing them too much, to say nothing of what could be considered "intimacy," which then yeah sure includes "well no kissing or sex" but yknow again that does need to be a bound you even accept, monogamy style, & even if you do, that All Thee Rest of it can be attributed to "well you shouldn't be talking to them / having these friends / doing these other things b/c that's a slippery slope to Romance (kissing, sex)." that the exclusivity is so often inevitably defined by, when pushed to it, Exclusion, e.g. like if everyone i loved was held at gunpoint & it's like only One of them could be Not Shot baby it'd be you like tf is this scenario?? gee it'd suck if everyone else died but baby as long as it's not you like The Hell. that it's about Everyone Else being shut out & Less & Lacking & deprioritized thusly in specificass hypothetical winner take all tournaments of disposing of loved ones like what in the christ. & this being an Isolating logic like well that soulmate should be Enough. & the instruction like, yeah any & all feelings passions desires wishes wants needs hopes dreams? file that away under "to be fulfilled by the One True Romance." it'll fulfill Everything in your life!! if it doesn't umm cough must've been doing it wrong. turn your discontent into Passion. philosophically muse on how Fulfillment may have eluded you but maybe just maybe we all still come closest in struggling through a marriage for a few dozens of years & also perhaps parenthood! surely. and don't even think of considering if this cosmos of the nuclear household is not in fact the distilled essence of all that one's life can possibly contain
of course two people can have a long term intimate relationship w/each other exclusively & it not all necessarily play into some nuclear family cisheteropatriarchy agenda moment lmao, but this is just the same as like. yeah people Can exist in ways that some rando today could look at & deem "are they not cishet" but where this is also not of the cishet agenda(tm). b/c ppl Have to be cishet(tm). & Have to be finding their monogamous cishet lifelong spouse. & sure Have to Not do otherwise, so why Wouldn't there be the narrative that all passions & emotions & desires & wants & needs & chance of fulfillment is a matter of the domain of Romance(tm)? the idea like oh you enjoy talking with someone? Love. you're excited / interested / affectionate? Love. you're dtf? either Love or else held to be the other side of the same coin: marked Lack of love(tm). wild that Stimming in enthusiasm is used in this Romance framework lmao as like a recognized Normal nd moment. love the enthusiasm. you could be stimming even more, about more. you could be enthused even more, about more. you Could. you don't Have to, But You Could. you don't Have to be involved in a way you consider some degree of intimate enough to have a particular classification on that basis, but you Could. you don't want to? alright awesome how many versions of a person there can be on this earth. why would one want to define it as "having" to be monogamous though b/c you're Too Legit to be poly. Too Legit queer to respect asexuality. Too Legit trans to respect someone's gender expression/identity being a casual, dynamic, easy experience.
also always noticing like "oh right, another day's work giving Others' feelings legitimacy & priority, & not my own" back in college times when like a couple of times having to outright or gradually* deflect acquaintances whom i'd interacted with trying to go for the dating route. & then nominally having to presume that they are the uniquely burdened one here like oh way to go (did not do fuckall), what is more Legitimate than disappointment re: Romance right. except it's like now hang on i'm also the one going "i thought someone was interacting with me trying to be friendly :/" like lol, no. & as though then taking on this impossible unilateral responsibility to demur from seeming [i want to hang out & interact] interest now on the terms of both neurotypicality (also normative) & amatonormativity. & being like "??" like what would someone even have particularly strong feelings about when i prommy i did not yet feel comfortable bringing even like most of the range of my personality, or comfortable in general w/what i Did bring, what's the basis of this lol. making up a guy. & like we are all performing we are all perceiving & interpreting without a direct channel into someone else's interiority. but like where's Any genuine intimacy leading into this lol? like still a No even if so but at least it'd be less perplexing. & if there isn't even expected to be any then also still No. tf was this one guy trying to start shit over buying textbooks & by start shit i mean keep trying to talk to me when crossing paths on (community college!) campus until i'm like no i don't wanna go to a movie b/c i don't really know you from adam, & he's like "well isn't that the point of dating, to get to know each other" like No this isn't cishet amatonormative marriage speedrun "i'm so good at dating i wasn't single for 93 years! each relationship was shit btw!" central get out of here. luckily he did. rando guys in public & semi public barely count yet also fully count
another thing that's different but the same is it's kind of jarring like another thing you Can do but it rankles within me like i hope to just like. someone being like framed as Superlative Exceptional....like great lmao such a broad thing & common thing & i am fully aware like "Uh Oh Eesh when i am imagining it applied to Me. i do not like it" like how we are [it takes all kinds]ing and [no accounting for taste]ing & all these things we sure Can do. but i do tie it to just like. arguing for people's worth as A Thing on this bitch of an earth where some people get to see others' lives as less than theirs & the supposed cure for this appealing on Merit. where even the Personal, Individual protection against this is "well, just find the one person who is like 'you're Everything & btw i'd drop dead without you like what would be the point of Anything'" like now what tf is reassuring about that lmao....this Other audio experience i forgot where i was already just not that interested but it grated hearing someone assure us that like oh this person's webpage is so Intriguing i Have to talk to this person. another thing much more formal & established being this ode to someone being like So undeniably extraordinary & incredible & superlative etc, like, lovely ode to someone, but i do reflect like eesh i just really do not want that. no ironic "xyz would've hated this!!" like just do not. i'm so Not about merit(tm). i'm so not about anyone Needing to be considered superlative or extraordinary by even One other person. so not about rising Above anyone else as the evidence of worth. so not about praising anyone by assuring people they're Not "Just" [another xyz. a victim. passive. content to abc.]....so not about being stuck in isolation with the immediate Family as one's only support (against The Family: as like. a political deal) until the only other way to exist is to escape, &/or be pushed into, the marriage, aka thee romance (against Romance: also a political deal)
where in romance(tm) is there Not this narrative about how you'd better find all the support & fulfillment you need in your whole self & life & being in This. where is there not "ideally" isolation. where is there not exclusivity as the definition. with this also ofc assuming the "correct" monogamous approach. & the cisheteropatriarchy. like yeah sure people Can do xyz that would resemble like ah the cishet lifelong monogamous partnership, & Not be of that agenda. like there Can be ppl who would be perceived cishet by someone to whom "cishet" has any meaning but like, without that agenda. we had & can have all our phenotypes without the concepts of white supremacy / antiblackness around which to categorize "race," we have all our bodies w/o there necessarily, inevitably being ableism. & in the meantime against the [we Have to xyz] & the Normative & the assertion of "merited" deservingness & the isolating & authoritarian & controlling & extractive & prescriptive & limiting, & plenty of other things....polyamory like supposed "opposite" of aromanticism but it's peak harmonious when like, it is also very much outside how romance is "supposed" to be, to the extent of like ohh it doesn't count b/c it is so uncontained by any Definitions. ohh i could never be polyamorous b/c they're Diluting themselves (there's the Isolating & Exclusivity definitions....the Most romantic relationship? baby idgaf if everyone else in my life died. you wouldn't either re: all your loved ones, right. why are you talking to them again. or hanging out with them again. or saying Love to them again or changing your plans for them or listening to them or etc etc. & of course you couldn't kiss anyone else, why Wouldn't this relationship crumble away if that weren't the case??? lol) like okay you're not polyamorous, that others Are is good for you. ppl being trans is good for cis people; no genders as constraining classes. ppl being ace is good for allo people; no compulsory sexuality. people being bi is good for everyone; same. etc etc etc. that They can exist as themselves unhindered = you can; that they can't, you can't. you're not Too Good to be them; acting/doing Better than someone else is acting/doing is like, about choices lol. versus [oh it's not even a choice i Couldn't be poly....b/c i'm too good for that] like. now what does this do for anyone exactly. but make you feel more secure through feeling superior b/c you're hearing more often more casually more proximately about different choices people are making for themselves
anyways surfacing from [my god. writing a post now] & i would like to emphasize "aromantic sure but & also anti-romance i mean it. like politically" & "lovelessness let's gooo. politically as well like can we Not with the affective-centric"
#long post qpqp like middlingly but i'm not reading all that; i only wrote it#remembering i could've touched on [o7 tales of like ppl who Would want to date but know they can't count on it b/c of societal/cultural/#structural obstacles / isolating factors] relevant...why exactly should it be miserable meaningless kys territory to be single for anyone#again truly amazed like no Lol XD from ppl going ''my very successful love life. i was in bad relationships nonstop for 19 yrs'' WHA? HUH?#also it's a Zzz for ppl who Supposedly are like ''ohh if you're not happy single you'll never be happy in a relationship''#like...vaguely in theory but this is just invoked to place individual blame & still say You Gotta Get That Relationship Though Still#dipping sliiightly outside amatonormativity to still bolster it ''if you're not finding Success(tm) in Love: idk it's your fault ig?''#like saying ''ooo ppl don't love/respect you if you don't love/respect yourself'' (a) why not? (b) yeah ofc ppl Should be able to be happy#w/o a partner they Should be able to appreciate themselves w/o anyone else's judgment & approval. but they shouldn't (i) have to assume#they'll be otherwise unsupported in this? do it All Yourself (ii) shouldn't be blamed(tm) for the lack of support they already have#& then that these sentiments Are then like ''haha but find that partner though. don't be Too happy single lol'' & ''hey don't be That self#confident no wait stop Get Approval'' like ohh Now people will like you :) you're still supposed to theoretically care about Needing that#you just need to also be blaming yourself if it doesn't happen! b/c Good People are guaranteed being personally liked & loved to the max#& the max might be 1 person of a particular gender agrees to fuck around w/only you. maybe some cazsh friends from work/school exist. whew
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shares-a-vest Β· 6 days ago
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'Steve Harrington – Actual Babysitter?' (Drabble Prompt: Fluff)
Eddie walks into Family Video expecting to find Steve lolling on his swivel chair behind the counter and flipping through a magazine instead of doing... Well, whatever actually is written on that clipboard Robin is typically flapping about for fear of the wrath of Keith.
But Robin isn't in today and the store is quiet. Aka, it's the perfect opportunity for Eddie to come in with Steve's lunch, where they sit together and chat. No, he doesn't bring it every Wednesday like clockwork. And no, he isn't bringing along his own lunch so he can pretend it's a date or anything.
No – definitely nothing like that.
Even if there is some banter that some people (Robin) might describe as flirting.
It's just that he has to take what he can get lately when it comes to his kinda-sorta big, fat, dumb crush on Steve. Especially now that the guy is disappointingly incommunicado on their no-longer Sunday Night pizzas.
Steve insists he isn't dating anyone – and he sure is complaining about that fact enough. But, well...
Eddie does worry.
And he damn near panics at the sight of an empty Family Video. The store is eerily silent too as he steps inside and looks around.
"St – "
"– Oovie!"
Eddie jolts with a yelp as the babbling yell of what could only be the shrill tones of a whole-ass human child reverberates around him.
"Yes, buddy," comes Steve's voice from behind the counter, "Oh – well, maybe not Rambo."
Eddie tip-toes forward and places his hands on the counter before he peers over the edge, where he finds Steve surrounded by the parts of a dismantled VCR. In his lap is indeed a human child, a boy with chestnut brown hair who couldn't be more than two.
He doesn't know all that much about kids, really, but Eddie is pretty certain the little squirt shouldn't be waving around a videotape with such force Steve might get clomped in the head at any moment.
The boy yell-babbles again and Steve swerves away from a side swipe to his beautiful noggin.
"Okay, maybe we shouldn't play with this one," Steve says, gently placing his hand on the tape and giving it a light tug.
The boy squirms, and in doing so makes direct eye contact with Eddie. They both startle, and Eddie thinks if anyone was watching, they might say his eyes look as wide as the kid's staring up at him.
The boy points at Eddie and coos with a big, toothy grin.
"Stee!"
"Can you stop –" Steve grumbles, cutting himself off as the boy begins to tilt them sideways. He looks up and gasps, "Oh!"
Steve scrambles upright with the boy, who makes an (admittedly, adorable) wooshing sound as he is swooped up and bundled into a pair of burly arms that today appear to be bursting out of the confines of a navy blue polo shirt.
Eddie blushes, looking back at the boy in an attempt to regulate his heart rate.
"What's with the baby, Steve?" he says, trying to sound biting rather than flustered as Steve props the kid on his hip like it's second nature.
Steve takes the boy's hand and bounces him a little as he tries to encourage a wave, "You know Angie, my mom's best friend? This is her kid, George."
George finally waves and Steve grins, all proud in a way that makes Eddie's cheeks blush. Shit, he really wasn't prepared for something like this to happen today.
Or maybe like ever, really.
"George," he nods, offering a two-finger salute.
"Angie stopped by and realised she forgot something over at Melvad's," Steve explains,Β swaying now as George looks around the store, "So I'm taking care of little Georgie for a minute."
Georgie?
Eddie scrubs a hand over his face.
"I s-see," he splutters as he comes up for air.
"And we are fixing VCRs today, aren't we, Georgie?" Georgie tee-hees at that and oh goddamn it, now the little gremlin is trying to get his tiny, pudgy arms around Steve for a hug, "Then we're gonna pick a movie for Sunday Funday."
"Oovie!" Georgie cheers.
Wait.
"You're babysitting on Sundays?"
"Yeah," Steve shrugs before looking down at George with a fond smile, "I kinda like it, y'know?"
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belovedcloud Β· 6 months ago
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Boxes
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pairing: older! neighbour! leon kennedy x fem! reader
✎ notes: older leon has been rotting my brain recently, especially DI leon ugh. i'm making another fic with him but I honestly might do vendetta leon. i just know this man would help you out with moving in.
➀ WC: 3K
➀ CW: strangers to lovers? pet names: sweetheart, love, baby, darling, good girl. reader is seen to be in their low 20s whilst leon being 38. leon feeling ashamed of himself for liking you, mentions of ada, helena, claire. leon has a fleshlight. touch starved Leon. both you and Leon are a bit tipsy. tit play, leon eating you out, p in v (unprotected sex), aftercare.
MINORS DNI!
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Carrying boxes was strenuous. You moved in a few weeks ago from your parents house, it was time for a new start. Although, your arms seem to regret the decision as you lift up the remainder of your boxes to the 12th floor. But it wasn't as bad when you had a certain man by your side. Leon was lucky enough to see you struggle your way up the apartment complex. Your first meeting with him had a slight tinge of embarrassment but soon died down as you got to know each other soon enough. With Leon carrying all of your heavy belongings such as your disheveled chairs and whatnot - you could see the strain on his muscles, it was attractive without a doubt. Despite the fact that he was older than you, the way he carried himself with looks and personality made him extremely enchanting. He was a man of charisma.
Today was like no other, however, it was the last lot of boxes you had stored in your parents house. Therefore, it shouldn't be that hard right? Leon was coming to help you out anyways, he insisted.
A few minutes passed, your back towards your car as you wait for Leon to come out of the complex. A similar silhouette appeared, Leon closed the door behind him - approaching you with a small smile. "Last set today then?" He spoke out to you as he opened the trunk of the car. "Yeah, good for you right? Your old back won't be cracking every 5 minutes" You teased leading to Leon giving a low chuckle as he looked at you. "Old? You wound me." He laughed out as he took an airy box. "I don't look that old do I?" He passed the package to you, taking a hefty one for himself. "No... no, you look good." You mumbled out, hoping he didn't take the compliment in a different way. "Good? I'll take it." Leon gave you a smirk as he shifted the box, walking towards the door. You hurried up behind him, ensuring you didn't make yourself look weird. Entering into the complex with a nervous look on your face. Even though moving in was arduous, the thoughts of not speaking to Leon daily made you feel quite upset. How would you even make up an excuse to see him? Knowing him for a few weeks was short but the way you linked with each other was different. It was like you were friends for years, comfort was found within you when you spoke to Leon. If only you knew how he felt about you.
Leon felt bad. He felt ashamed that he found you so attractive. The way your shirt hugged your body and your jeans show the curvature of your ass and your thighs strained. You were so much younger than him - he couldn't help his mind wandering to images of you whilst he laid in his own bed. Wishing it was yours. He built your bedframe, he helped you place the soft clean mattress on top. Yet he felt pure filth in his self as he thought of your body on his. His hands intertwined with yours as ideas of fucking you flooded his brain. Night after night it would be the same for him, his cock thrusting into his hand or fleshlight. He tried to think of anyone else but you. Ada, Claire, Helena could only stay in his mind for a mere 20 seconds before his brain cogged back to you. You. It wouldn't help hearing you over the thins walls as you touched yourself. The softest but most pornographic moans leaving your lips. Leon only wished that it was him making you sound that way, but it was wrong. What would his friends think if he dated you? He believed he was out of your league - if only he knew about the sinful thoughts you had about him too when you indulged in your own pleasure. Two fingers thrusting into your cunt wishing it was his, gushing all over your thighs as images of him engulfed your brain.
"Stay here, I'll get the last few boxes for you." Leon maintained a steady voice shaking out the immoral ideas in his head. Keeping a level-headed smile he gave you a small wave before you could argue back. Seeing his back turned towards you, your eyes subconsciously wandered on it. Soon landing onto his biceps, subtle veins leading to his hands as he went stood in front of the elevator. Snapping yourself out of your trance, you unpacked the two boxes you and Leon took up. Placing the glasses into the kitchen cabinet and hanging up clothes was therapeutic in some way. Helping you calm yourself from your thoughts on Leon as you felt a wet patch on your panties. Pouring out a glass of wine for two as you waited for Leon to come back.
"I think that's it.. unless you have some hidden ones in your car?" He joked as he placed down the final box to the side, looking up to see you with two glasses of wine in your hand. "Oh?" He smiled, stretching his back before walking to you. "Seems like you need this then." You giggled passing him the glass, Leon rolling his eyes as he took it. "Thank you for the past few weeks helping me move in... I was wondering if you wanted to relax for a bit?" You murmured, sitting down on your couch. Leon soon accompanying you. "How can I say no?" He gave you a slight smirk as the rim of the wine glass pressed against his lips, the alcoholic liquid sliding down his throat.
A bottle or two of wine later caused the both of you to erupt into laughter and giggles - getting to know each other quite well. You learned that Leon worked for the government, although not being able to go into grave detail, he was an important figure for the USA. It wasn't long until you also explained what your job was, explaining in why you chose your path. However, you felt hot. Way too hot as you sensed his eyes gaze all over you. Lingering onto your lips and eyes as he looked at you with such awe and fascination. Leon felt warm within himself, you were like a new light that he had been longing for. You spoke without care, refreshing for him as his job withheld such secrecy. An urge secreted in him as your soft lips moved with grace. He yearned for you, and it was becoming evident from the pained strain in his jeans.
Taking another sip from your drink, you spoke without thinking. "How's your love life?" Shit. Was that too personal? Hoping for the best outcome you fiddled with your glass as your eyes wandered to his face, trying to decipher what expression he had. "Boring. If I'm being honest with you, I haven't dated anyone for years." A deep chuckle elicited out of his throat. The rasp laced in his tone giving you a shiver. "Seriously? You're joking." A giggle came out of you. Was he actually single? "Nope. But I'm surprised you don't have a certain someone here. You've got a boyfriend haven't you?" Leon hiccupped out, the alcohol making him feel fuzzy. To his surprise, your head shook side to side. "No, I'm single alright." You said with a soft smile plastered on your face. Leon genuinely couldn't believe it. A woman like you single? "Now that's a surprise." Leon grinned as he finished his 4th glass of wine. "Well, I'm sure you'll be able to find a man of your age. Although most of them are probably a pain in your ass." He laid back onto the couch, his arm behind his head. Again, your eyes couldn't help but avert to the flex of his bicep. This time, it didn't go unnoticed.
"You're right." A sigh came from your lips, "Which is why I don't usually go for guys my age." You admitted, making Leon confused. So who did you go for? "Hm? So you like younger men?" He asked, staring into your eyes with his own lustful ones. Praying that what you were looking for was the opposite of young. A mellow giggle followed out of your mouth as you shook your head once more. "No, I like older men." Leon's smirk became wider as those words left your mouth. Maybe he had a chance after all. Perhaps his wrongful thoughts were okay with you - that you wouldn't mind a man near twice your age to fuck you. "Really sweetheart?" A low groan drawn out his throat, his eyes basically fucking you. That same heat returned to you, just much more insatiable.
It was like a flip in you switched, your body longing for touch as so for Leon. Sloppy kisses shared between you two as Leon's hands gripped the fat on your hips. Subconsciously grinding himself into you as he felt your clit throb on his crotch. Your quiet whimpers muffled by the crashing of yours and Leon's lips unmethodical rhythms as saliva was shared. "F-Fuck.." A moan left Leon's lips, his head clouded by lust as he tapped your legs. "Wrap 'em around me darling." He demanded as he held you up, your legs squeezed tight around his waist - your irregular breathing echoing in his mind. Leon wasn't going to just fuck you on the couch, he wanted to show you his love. Heavy footsteps followed behind him as he nudged your bedroom door open, placing you gently on your newly built bed. "Let's see how well I built this frame, yeah?" Leon joked as he littered your neck with butterfly kisses. Pinning you down, stopping your squirming beneath him. "L-Leon..." That was enough to get him going, the pornographic moan after the lustful mumble of his name had his cock throbbing for more. He wanted you, he needed you.
Leon's hands slowly crept under your shirt, caressing your chest as he kneaded your tits. Pinching at your nipples to elicit another whine out of you. Your soft, mellow skin opposed his calloused hands. The hands that killed bioweapons were fondling with your tits, shakily taking off your shirt to show them in true beauty. "So fucking gorgeous." Leon groaned out, without a doubt in his mind he shoved his head in between your breasts. Your whimpers echoed throughout your bedroom, just to be stopped as you gasped when you felt his knee part your legs. Rubbing your clothed clit as he sucked on the plush parts of your tits. His hands methodically unbuttoned your jeans, slowly pulling them off you as he saw your pretty laced panties. They would've looked so innocent if it wasn't for the soaked wet patch in the middle of them. "All this for me baby?" He murmured, enchanted by how wet you were. You could couldn't help but frantically nod your head, needing to feel his touch somewhere else. "P-Please Leon.. need you to touch me." You moaned gently, your hips bucking for any type of touch. Who was he to say no to such a polite question? "Alright sweetheart.. C'mon spread your legs f'me." He ordered and you obeyed, feeling like mush in his hands.
The pads of his fingers played with the lace and the little bow at the top. Cute. Slowly, he slid your panties to the side, your slick leaving a small strand attached to the material. Leon was mesmerized by the sight, yet you felt embarrassed. Trying to close your legs failed as his strong hands pried you open. "Don't close 'em love, you're so beautiful. Let me appreciate you, yeah?" He groaned, feeling himself rut into your fresh linen sheets. Leon positioned himself in front of your clit, feeling his mouth water as he looked at it. His eyes flickering to you before asking "Do you want me to carry on darling?" His hot breath tickling you, a soft moan squeezed out your throat. "Yes.. Please Leon.. Want your tongue on my clit." Leon gave you a deep chuckle in response, his eyes flickering back to your clit. "'Atta girl.. Didn't know you were so dirty." He whispered before licking your slit, slowly capturing you in his mouth.
This was pure filth. Your moans alongside the wet sounds your pussy was making as Leon's pistoned two fingers in and out of you. His tongue skillfully flicking over your clit as his baby blue eyes watched your reactions. Your fingers felt themselves entangled in Leon's hair, pulling at his strands as choked moans fell out of your mouth. Chasing for that sweet release, you subconsciously bucked your hips, allowing for Leon's nose to press up against your clit. Deep, shallow moans trembled into your clit as Leon was determined to make you cum. He wanted all of you, he needed you to be ready for his cock. "C'mon, give it to me baby." He pressed his tongue against you, curving his fingers in you in the right spot. "L-Leon... I'm gonna.." Your sentence was soon cut off by the shaking of your body as the coil in you snapped. The orgasm took over your body, your lips chanting his name as you pulled on his hair. Granting you a groan from Leon as he swallowed your cum. "So sweet." He chuckled, pulling himself off you. Before pulling your face close to his, allowing you to taste yourself as he kissed you.
Leon felt a hand tug on his shirt, your pleading eyes staring into his blue ones. A smirk tugged his face as he took off his shirt. Slowly unbuckling his belt, removing his jeans alongside it too. Your cunt ached to be fucked, your mind telling you that only Leon could satisfy your needs.
He pulled down his boxers, a pretty dark red tip beamed at you. Glistening with pre-cum smeared all of it. You couldn't help but stare as Leon's face flushed a light pink. "Fuck.. Don't look at it like that sweetheart." He moaned softly, positioning himself right up against your entrance. "You ready?" His hand slowly caressed your face, a nod coming from you as he intertwined his hand with yours. He was big. Real fucking big as you felt yourself stretch open, your eyes rolling back in pain mixed with pleasure. Fuck. Leon could've came right there as he saw your expression change. You were so attractive. He slowly rutted himself into you, moaning your name as his hips sputtered. "Y-You alright?" He stuttered out, you were so tight. "Yeah.. I'm okay. You can move Leon." A soft smile appeared on your face, he couldn't help but reciprocate it back. He moved his hips, his thrusts soft - but it was hard to keep it that way after a minute. His thighs started to slap against yours as his dick pistoned into you. Leon threw his head back in otherworldly pleasure, moaning sweet nothings as he felt himself lose himself inside of you. You were no different. Your moans and screams increased in volume and pitch as you felt him pound into you. Your legs shaking in pleasure as you felt that same coil tighten in you again. "My good girl.. f-fuck so fucking good f'me." Leon growled, feeling his body become weak to your pheromones. He buried his head into your neck, marking you with lovebites. He felt his dick throb as his hips moved without thought.
"Leon.. I'm gonna cum again.. Feels too good." Mewls escaped from your throat as your hands scrapped at his back. Scratching him. The pain mixed with pleasure was enough for Leon to start panting as he felt himself get close. "Cum for me, please cum for me baby.." He whined as he thrusted into your sweet little pussy. You were so pretty for him, his good girl. The marks on your neck slowly started to become more evident, a smirk appeared on his face as he saw you scrunch up your face. His hand snaked down to your clit, slowly rubbing it. Giving you a whole new sensation as you felt his dick pulsate inside you. "I.. I.. Leon!" The coil in you snapped again, twice as hard as you creamed all over his cock. He didn't stop smacking himself into you, a white ring forming at the base. Leon started to chase his own high. "Take it, take it, take it." He chanted as he felt his hips stammer. The clapping of your skin quickly died down as Leon jerked himself out of you, rubbing his dick as his cum splattered all over your stomach. You couldn't help but think how handsome he looked as he threw his head back, moaning your name.
After both of your highs, Leon practically collapsed on top of you. "G-Get off.. You're so heavy." You tried to push him off, a laugh escaping Leon's lips as he pulled himself off of you. Pressing a soft kiss against your lips. He climbed out of your bed, pulling up his boxers and walked out of your bedroom. Soon, he returned with a damp cloth in his hand with two bottles of water in the other. Whilst wiping you down, Leon flashed you a quick smile and passed you the cold bottle. Your lips pursed the top as you gulped down the liquid. "C'mon... Let's shower." He took his hand into yours, lifting you up from your bed and carrying you to your bathroom. Your hot thighs pressed against the cold counter as he flipped the shower on. "Hey guess what." Leon couldn't help but giggle out the sentence. Your eyebrow cocked up as you looked over to him. "What?" You asked him with a smile on your face.
"At least we know I built the frame right." He laughed out, finding himself hilarious. "Oh shut up." Your laughter soon followed along.
likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! thank u for reading :)
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satorusugurugurl Β· 8 months ago
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My Wedding Date is an Escort!
Summary: When invited to your best friend's wedding, you panic. One of the groomsmen, Toji Fushiguro, is your ex-fiancΓ¨. Not wanting to deal with probing questions and the embarrassment of being single, your friend Haibara recommends using an Escort! Taking a leap of faith, you book one, the hottest one. Gojo Satoru is hot, sweet, and funny! The package deal! Men and Women pay thousands to go on a date with him (even more, which he doesn't do often). So when your request comes in, the desperation and pleading tone of your voice. Gojo’s heartthrobs, even more so when you tell him you don't want to have sex.
Pairing: Escort!Gojo x FAB Reader
Word Count: 3,882
Warning: Mentions of depression, anxiety, language, steamy kisses, pillow walls
A/N: Ah yes, trauma dumping before things get super spicy!!! Love the communication, it’s giving this could be a great relationship but it’s complicated. If you want to be included in the tag list, you MUST have your age in your bio PLEASE!!! Thank you!!
Part One Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight
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Your breathless words had the world crashing down around Satoru as he stared at your flushed face. His eyes widened as he released you, his own heart hammering in his chest. He had never lost control like that before! But there was this pull in his chest, one that screamed that he needed to protect you from the walking douchebag with black hair away from his; no, what the fuck? Not his girl, his client!Β 
β€œHoly fuck, I'm sorry! Shit, uhm, I shouldn't have done that.” Satoru grumbled, scrubbing his hands down his face. β€œI’m sorry.”
Your fingers trailed slowly over your lips. They were still tingling. β€œNo, it's okay. I almost blew our cover.” Satoru slowly dragged his hands down his face, his eyes transfixed on you as you spoke. β€œThat was all part of the act. If you didn't do that, it wouldn't have looked as convincing.”  Satoru visibly seemed to relax, shoulders slumping as he sighed.
β€œThank fuck.” 
β€œIt was just weird.” 
β€œI'm sorry?”A white eyebrow cocked up at your words. β€œMe kissing you was weird? Was it bad?” 
Your face flushed more, the heat spreading across your cheeks before setting over your chest. β€œOh god, that came out wrong!” Your hands shot up in defense. β€œI-I didn't mean like that, Satoru! I justβ€”I haven't kissed anyone in over a year and a half. So I guess I justβ€”yeah, I’m rusty.”
β€œNo,” you jerked your head up, β€œno, it was nice.” Stunning blue eyes softened, making you swallow hard. He thought it was nice. He is the hottest man on the planet, and ESCORT thought kissing you was nice.
What the fuck was this life?
Snapping out of the trance Satoru had you in; you cleared your throat. β€œI-I think I’m gonna take a s-shower!” You tossed the extra pillow to the futon on the floor. β€œOh, and uhm, that kiss was nice for me too.” You turned, bolting for the bathroom before slamming the door.Β 
You slowly slid down it, sitting on the ground as you touched your lips. Satoru had such soft lips. It felt really good being kissed like you were wanted. No, no, it was an act! It's all an act. An act that had Satoru pacing the floor as he ran his hand through his hair.
It was only once he heard the shower running that he sat on the ground. What the fuck was that?! His pale skin was almost red as he tugged at white tufts of hair. He never got flustered with clients before! Maybe he was going insane. He must be because his mind keeps replaying the kiss repeatedly.Β 
The way you stiffened, how your hands gripped him so tight as he kissed you like he had never kissed a client before. Satoru slapped both his cheeks before shaking his head. That breathtaking kiss was nothing more than him doing his job. He was looking out for you as a client. Yeah, that was it. That asshole of a guy was the reason his heart was still racing as he thought of you and your lips.
By some miracle, both of you managed to pull your thoughts away from the kiss. You showered before switching with Satoru. He finally came out ten minutes later, grinning as he witnessed you placing the four extra pillows down the middle of the futon. You fluffed, pushed, and sat back to assess your constriction before repeating the process repeatedly until Satoru barked out a laugh from behind.
β€œQuit the impressive wall you’ve built.” Looking over your shoulder, you watched Satoru pull a tank top over his head. He slowly pulled it down over chiseled abs that had to have been crafted by a Renaissance artisan. Because there was no way those were real. β€œI’ve never had a client do that before.”
”Please don’t take it personally.” You whispered under your breath before fluffing another pillow. β€œIt makes me feel a bit better; I haven’t shared a bed with anyone in a while.”
β€œHey, no worries, whatever makes you feel comfortable, you keep doing it.”
God, why was he so nice? Sure, you paid him the big bucks to pretend to be your boyfriend. But that didn’t mean he had to be so understanding and kind regarding your antics. If anything, you would have assumed your pillow wall would have irritated anyone. You know for a fact that Toji would have hated it.
His kind, understanding patience had you transfixed on his movements as you both settled into bed. You were on your side, facing him as he stared at the ceiling, his hands resting behind his head. The silence wasn’t at all awkward. It was comforting in a way. You didn’t have to force yourselves to make dreadful small talk; you could enjoy the silence.Β 
The silence, however, had questions eating away at your insides. β€œSatoru?” Your voice mingled with chirping crickets and the warm spring breeze outside. You waited until his head turned in your direction before you continued. β€œWould it be okay if I asked you a question?” His face softened as he nodded his head.
”Of course.” 
β€œWhy did you become an escort?”
Satoru chuckled, rolling onto his side so you both faced each other. β€œI think I’ve answered that question about a million times, so it’s easy.” His arm snaked around one of the pillows between you, hugging it to his chest. β€œI come from a pretty influential clan. It’s all about power, money, and success with them, and being an only child, they expected a lot from me.” His eyes rolled. β€œThe old geezers kept going about when I would get married and have my own kids. And I didn't want anyone else feeling that way.” A cunning smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. β€œSo, I became an escort to help people.” He snickered, hugging the pillow tighter. β€œPlus, I get to annoy those controlling old farts. So it’s a win-win for me. But I still handle my family affairs; being an escort is like my second job.” His words were genuine, and they had you smiling.
”That’s actually really sweet.” You shifted, inching just a bit closer to him. β€œYou seem like a genuinely nice guy, doing stuff like this for strangers.” You giggled nervously, shaking your head. β€œThat speaks volumes; I know you’re a nice guy, but I don’t know a thing about you.”
”I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Honestly.”
β€œReally?”
β€œReally.” 
β€œOkay, so do you like sleeping with your clients? Or has sex lost its spark?” You watched him curiously.
He shrugged a shoulder, smirking. β€œSex is still good when it's with a good partner. But I honestly don't sleep with a majority of my clients. One because, well, let's be honest, they can't afford it. I charge double the price of a single day for sex. So that's Β₯240,000.” 
β€œFor sex?!” 
β€œYep! So people can't afford it, especially when I do family events like this. But I usually refuse; I don't particularly like sleeping with someone unless I know them. You know?” 
You hummed, and Satoru grinned, inching himself closer. Another one of your constructed pillows shifted out of the way. β€œI understand. I'm glad you have the right to refuse.” He nodded, blue eyes almost sparkling in the light of the moon flooding the room. β€œHave you ever been in love?” 
β€œPuppy love, nothing more than that.” Satoru pursed his lips in thought. β€œBut I'm not opposed to falling in love someday.”
β€œGod,” you groaned, rolling into your back, β€œlook at me, asking you stupid questions like I’m in high school.”
Satoru sat up, laying on his elbow as he looked down at you with a pout. β€œNo! No, I don't mind! I like talking to you.” He was leaning over you, smiling wide, white strands of hair falling in his face.
β€œI like talking to you too, Satoru.”
Satoru wanted to reach out and move Y/H/C strands out of your face. To see if your skin felt as soft as it looked, to feel your warmth. His hand moved, and just before it touched you, he dropped it, clenching it in the pillow
β€œY/N, could I ask you something?” 
β€œSeeing as I asked you something, it's only fair.” You smiled, and it was so fucking cute Satoru wanted to bury his face in the pillow and kick his feet. Restraining his urge, he cleared his throat.Β 
β€œYou mentioned your ex in passing. I'm assuming it was that asshole from earlier?” You frowned, nodding. β€œI don't like to pry or push my clients, but I keep thinking about what you said. What did you mean by β€˜why didn't he?’ when I asked why he broke up with you.”
Sitting up, you sighed, eyes slowly shutting. Remembering that night was something you desperately tried to avoid. Satoru, however, had opened up to you, and he was helping you. Plus, he'd already caught a glimpse of Toji, so you might as well bite the bullet and tell him.Β 
Sucking in a deep breath, you exhaled slowly, bringing your knees to your chest, hugging them. β€œToji Zen’in and I were high school sweethearts. He was my first for everything, so of course, I fell hard. We moved in together when we graduated high school into a small apartment in Kyoto. We got engaged at nineteen, and things went downhill.” Your grip tightened around yourself. β€œTo make a painfully long story short, Toji developed a gambling habit, burning through his savings while I was in college.” The sheets shifted as Satoru sat up, turning to watch you with narrowed eyes.
β€œSo, as a novice baker working at my parent's inn at twenty-one, I faced a dilemma. My fiancΓ¨ was jobless, nonetheless, and behind on our rent.” The inside of your nose began to burn as tears threatened to escape. β€œI could leave him and focus on me and my career. I'd be losing my home and the supposed love of my life. Or I could use the money I saved up for pastry school to cover the rent we were behind on.” 
Sheets shifted, and a large hand gently grabbed your chin, forcing you to look into Satoru’s eyes. β€œYou didn’t.” The tears streaming down your cheeks answered his question. β€œY/N—” A sad, broken laugh sounded in your chest.Β 
β€œI did. Used everything I saved up to keep us in our apartment for four years.” Nausea churned in your stomach as you laughed a little louder. β€œAfter all of that, everything I did, he broke off our engagement. He said he didn't love me, that he couldn't see himself with me five years down the road.” More tears fell down your cheeks, landing on the sheets. β€œToji said I was too focused on my career, my dreams, that I was eating too many sweets. That I wasn't as exciting as I used to be.” Satoru’s gaze darkened as you spoke, watching you wipe uselessly at your eyes. β€œThat devastated me, so I packed up, moved to Tokyo, and got pastry training. I haven't been back since.” 
β€œThat fuckin’ dick!” Satoru looked obviously upset over everything coming out of your mouth. β€œSeriously, you're beautiful, god I hate people like that!” No one should ever be treated the way you have been. To take care of a partner, give up on a dream for someone who you were supposed to marry, to have them pull shit like that. It made Satoru sick to his stomach.Β 
β€œYeah, I'm still trying to get over it. In a way, I guess I'm happy it happened because I feel like I wouldn't have gotten as far in my career as I have. But the scars are still there, along with the trust issues. I can't bring myself to date anyone, let alone have sex.” 
Oh. Satoru perked up at you mentioning sex. You had told him you didn't need sex. The reasoning behind that was like an itch he couldn't scratch. You brought it up, so he might as well take the opportunity to ask while he had that.
β€œWhy is that? The sex part, I mean, you deserve your needs to be taken care of as much as the next person.”
β€œThat my friend is because he broke up with me right after we had sex. Imagine just having an orgasm, and your boyfriend gets off of you and tells you he wants to break up before listing everything wrong with you.”
β€œFuckin’ shithead.” Satoru wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into his chest and hugging you as tightly as possible. β€œI'm so sorry you went through that. He's an asshole for doing that to you.” Satoru’s hand gently stroked your head as your face rested in the crook of his neck. β€œI hope you recover soon because you deserve to feel loved and happy.” His hand paused as he snickered. β€œAnd have mind-blowing sex that makes you forget all about those bullshit excuses he gave you.” 
Gojo Satoru’s words and tone were so genuine you found yourself smiling into his neck. Your arms wrapped around him as you lay down. β€œI hope so, too. Thank you, Satoru.” 
β€œNo, thank you for sharing that with me; it means a lot.” 
The two of you stayed like that, his hand stroking your hair while you rested on his chest. Your pillow wall lasted thirty minutes and was never constructed again that night or the following one because there was a comfort you and Satoru found in each other.
The two of you had so much fun during the day. Laughing and talking as you would hang around with your family and friends. You told stories and jokes and went to dinners with the wedding party together. He got along well with everyone, and your friends liked him and his looks. At the same time, your parents admired him for helping around the inn, delivering towels to guests, and cleaning up with you. They saw him as a perfect partner, just like you had paid him to do it.
But you were beginning to wonder if it was just his job or just him being Gojo Satoru. The amount of laughing and talking you did in front and behind closed doors didn't feel like he was doing another job. He seemed to be enjoying himself truly. The days seemed to fly by, and it was hard to believe it was Wednesday night. Satoru walked you to the bar your friends were at for the bachelorette party. If it was Wednesday, you only had four days left with him.Β 
β€œAre you planning on getting drunk, like super drunk?” Satoru asked, looking at you from over his sunglasses. β€œBecause that's a sight I would pay money to see.”
β€œNah, I'll have a few drinks, but I don't like getting hammered drunk.” You gently bumped your shoulder into his side. β€œYou sure you don't want to join us? The girls said they’re okay if you join.”
β€œEh, I don't like drinking. I'm a lightweight, and it never appealed to me. If Suguru were here, oh, he'd be down.” You beamed up at him as he mentioned his one and only best friend. β€œSeriously, he'd love this shit. Being surrounded by girls, drinking with them.” Satoru shoved his hands in his pockets. β€œSeriously though, he'd love you. You two would get along great. I’ll have to introduce you to him when we get back to Tokyo.” 
His words struck you like a hot iron. He was pulling out his phone and checking the time, oblivious to what he had just said. The man you were paying to be your boyfriend for a week wanted to introduce you to his friend? His best friend!Β 
It had your heart fluttering as butterflies swarmed in your stomach. Satoru hadn't even corrected himself as he peered down at you, returning the warm and happy smile you were positive was tugging at your lips. God, you hadn't been this happy in so long.
β€œYeah, I’d like that a lot.” 
β€œCool! We should set something up. Maybe we could get din—”
The door to the bar flew open, and your friends, all looking intoxicated, spotted you. β€œThere she is! Hurry up, Y/N, you need to catch up!” the bride-to-be slurred as she reached for you.Β 
β€œWaaait!! Mina, let her say bye to Satoru!!” another bridesmaid said, smacking her arm.Β 
β€œRight! Right, sorry!”
You giggled, looking into Satoru’s cerulean eyes. β€œI'm being summoned. I should get going.” Gojo snorted, leaning down and kissing you on the lips. β€œI'll see you later.”
β€œUhm, excuse me.” Mina had a disgusted look on her face. β€œWhat the fuck was that lame-ass kiss?” Your other friends nodded in agreement. β€œSatoru, what the fuck? Don't you like Y/N?” 
β€œOf course, I like my girlfriend Mina.” 
β€œThen kiss her like you mean it!!” 
You turned, giving Mina a look that could curdle dairy. β€œMina, stop.” She flipped you off, her attention never leaving Satoru’s face.
β€œIf I don't get to go to a strip club, I wanna see a steamy kiss!” The other girls whistled and cheered. β€œI want it steamy! I'm talking smutty romance-level shit!” 
β€œMina!” 
β€œWhat you both are hot as fuck! Consider it a wedding gift!!”
β€œKiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!!” 
Oh great, now your drunken friends were chanting, and bystanders were watching. With a grimace, you turned to the very amused Satoru, who stared down at the drunken girls before his gaze fixed on you.Β  He shrugged a shoulder as if saying, sure, why not? But he left the decision up to you.
While you were tempted not to make your poor pretend boyfriend a walking spectacle for a group of drunk women. The thought of having to listen to them bitch and moan about you being a party pooper was way worse. So you sighed before turning to face Satoru with a smile.Β 
β€œYou heard them. If we do this, I can return the dish set we bought.” 
β€œYou don't have to tell me twice.” 
Satoru grabbed you by the throat, pinning you against the wall of the bar. His lips slammed against yours in a heated kiss you'd only seen in movies. His tongue was licking your bottom lip, and you so willingly obliged, opening your mouth, allowing his tongue entrance. Satoru trailed the hand that was around your throat down your curves. His large hand gripped your hips as he growled. Fuck he tasted so good, like cola and vanilla candy. Your tongue moved against his, trying to taste more of him.Β 
While you tasted like strawberries and chocolate to him, it was like a symphony of tastes between your tongues. One that he didn't want to end, his knee pushed its way between your legs, pressing firmly over your clothes core, making you gasp into his mouth, eyes going wide as the intimate touch. Your moan only made Satoru kiss you harder, desperate to feel the vibrations from the desperate sounds escaping your mouth.
β€œWhoa! Okay! Okay!” Mina shouted, her wine spilling as she hurried forward. β€œI said kiss her! Not fuck her in public.” Your best friend playfully swatted at his arm.
When Satoru broke the kiss, a string of saliva connected your bottom lips as you both gasped for air. The sheer intensity of the kiss rendered you speechless as he allowed his eyes to trail over your face. Taking in the flush tint of your cheeks, the way your body trembled under his hand, and the subtle way your hips rocked forward against his thigh. It looked like the kiss had as much of an effect on you as it did on him.
He pressed a soft kiss against your slightly swollen lips. β€œYou did ask for a smutty book kiss.” Satoru sighed as he pulled away. β€œI just delivered what you asked for.” Mina said something along the lines of β€˜smutty kiss without the smut, please’ as she headed back into the bar. β€œWell, she might not have enjoyed it, but at least you seemed like you did.” His teasing tone slowly brought you back to reality.
”Y-Yeah, it was lovely.” You fanned yourself before heading to follow after your friends. β€œI’ll see you later tonight.” You breathed out, but just before you could make it inside the door, Satoru grabbed your wrist, pulling you in for a hug.
”Call me when you’re done, and I’ll come get you, okay?”
”Okay.”
His lips were against yours again before he released you. β€œOkay.” He repeated your word back to you before waving you off as he headed back in the direction of the inn.
His kiss, the tone of voice, and the mere conversation of introducing him to his best friend whirled around your mind as you guzzled down a shot of sake, which had to have been the fifth one in the last forty minutes. While the other bridal party members were laughing and talking, you stared at the table. The kiss and Satoru’s words replayed over and over again in your head, like old sitcom reruns.Β 
Was it normal for an escort to tell a client they wanted to introduce them to their friends? Was he just being friendly or taking pity on you? Then there was that kiss outside of the bar! He didn’t have to put his knee between your legs, but he did! Now your panties were wet, and the more you thought about the kiss, about him, the wetter they seemed to get.
Holy shit, what was wrong with you!?Β 
Just three days ago, you told the guy you didn’t have sex; you didn’t need it. But the more you got to know him, the more times he kissed you, the more your icy resolve began to melt. Gojo Satoru was lighting a fire within you. One that you were very cautious of because you didn’t want to be burned again.
You got up from the table, swaying as you headed for the bathroom. Was Satoru just being nice? Or did he feel the same way you did? There was some sort of connection between the two of you. One that you might want to explore if he wants to as well. Why else would he talk to you the way that he did?
Entering the bathroom, you sighed, staring at your reflection in the mirror. Your fingers trailed over your still-swollen lip. Toji had never kissed you like that in the past. Staring in the mirror, you groaned. An image of Toji stood behind you, haunting you like he had done for the last year and a half.Β 
β€œUgh, just get the fuck out of my head and let me heal already.” You scolded the image of him in the mirror, flipping it off.
”I’m in your head?”
Your heart stopped, and your hand dropped to your side. Toji’s image smirked as he tilted his head. You were getting ready to ask yourself how drunk you were when Toji moved. His hands landed on the sink, caging you in while the smell of cedarwood engulfed you like a cloud of smoke.
”Tojiβ€”!”
β€œShut up, we need to talk.”
(TBC)
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nana-gumi Β· 7 months ago
Text
my heart belongs to.. who? g.satoru
pairings: gojo satoru x fem! reader
cw: heavy angst, mentions of death, mentions of cremation, depression, starvation, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of self-harming, please read at your own risk!! NOT PROOFREAD AGAIN HELP (i'm sleepy alr but i want to update TvT)
a/n: here's the part two of the 'anyway, don't be a stranger.' yes the title has changed. also based from a song a piece of you by nathaniel constantin. that's all, enjoy reading ;) PLS NOTIFY ME IF YOU HAPPEN TO SEE TYPOGRAPHICAL ERRORS!! THANK YOU <3
now that you had lost your only strength to continue living, what should you do now?
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satoru doesn't know why something in him ached when he randomly spotted his best friend, his dear best friend, suguru with you, on a random place and at a random time.
your backs were turned to him but he surely didn't like the way you cling to his best friend, it hurts him in many ways he couldn't explain but, satoru knew too well that he doesn't have the rights to feel that way, that's because every pain and sorrow that has happened to his life would be different if he didn't do that one big mistake.
ever since the divorce, satoru never saw you again. you left and none of the people you knew where you've gone to. satoru thought it was for the best that you should be away from him because the moment he feels vulnerable again, he would look for your presence, even though you weren't together anymore.
although sometimes, satoru do hope that you didn't run away from him. he wanted to fix everything, to apologize, to try things with you again. he never wanted anyone other than you. you were the only person that could see his other sides, the only person who knew him very very well, the only person he wanted to grow old with but everything was too late already.
he shouldn't have listened to you when you pushed him away and there, he would've never saw the pain look in your face when both of you separated your ways, he would've never saw the way you tried to stop yourself from crying infront of him, and he would've never saw the way you accepted to keep your wedding rings so desperately as if he would still be around you if you keep it.
satoru regretted every decision he made up until now, it was all of his fault, it was his fault why you had to leave, everything was his fault, you didn't have a choice because of him and he hoped that you've already forgave him for that. he really hoped so.
because of the heavy thoughts, satoru didn't know why his feet brought him to his best friend's apartment. maybe to ask how you were doing? are you still single? do you have a new lover now? was it suguru? are you both dating? oh gosh, he hoped not. it could be anyone but his best friend.
"(name) trusted you with it suguru, you shouldn't break your promise." satoru suddenly stopped on his tracks. that was shoko's voice, he was sure of it.
"but, don't you think he still has the right to know? satoru's the father after all."
"you're right though butβ€”"
"what did you just say?" both eyes were widened at the sudden appearance as satoru revealed himself from hiding as he went closer to his best friends.
"when did youβ€”"
"i'm the father? what do you mean?" satoru asked as he furrowed his eyebrows and suguru looked away from him. satoru could recognize the worried look of his best friend's face. "shoko?"
"well.." she mumbled, looking at suguru.
"are you hiding something from me?" satoru asked.
"it's not like thatβ€”" shoko said.
"then why do you both look nervous?"
"satoru." suguru called as he felt shoko's hand stop him and she shake her head left to right. "i'm sorry, but he needs to know."
"needs to know what? come on."
"satoru, you had a child, with (name)." and he couldn't be more surprised as he looked at suguru, lost and confused.
"what?"
"yeah, unfortunately, sanyu isβ€”"
"stop." satoru said as he placed a hand on his temples. "is this some kind of prank? therefore, it's not funny."
"satoru, i'm not lying." suguru said, his expression blank.
"no. that'sβ€” that would be impossible.."
"go talk with her, satoru. heh, in the end, i couldn't keep my promise to her, huh?" suguru said as he placed a hand on his nape. "i'll send you the address, go." and satoru didn't waste any more time as he walked towards the front door but suguru stopped him again. "satoru." he called and suguru almost laughed at the worried and somehow excited look on his best friend's face. it's been a while since he saw that.
"what?" satoru said, cleary annoyed and impatient as suguru lightly smiled at him.
"be gentle with her, she's still vulnerable." satoru didn't get what suguru meant by that as he finally left, following the map where suguru had sent him.
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you knew this day would've eventually come as you stand face to face with your ex-husband, he was panting and you were just about to go back home from the convenience store.
"(name).." he whispered your name as he took a step close to you, another one, and then another one as he started sprinting, embracing you in his arms and no one knew how much he missed feeling you around his arms. you let him embrace you but you stopped yourself from doing the same thing, you just stood there.
"why are you here?" you asked as satoru pulled away, his sleeve flying on his eyes as he slightly rubbed it. he was about to tear up.
"is it true?" satoru asked and he hoped you get what he meant with the question as you slowly nod your head.
"let's go inside my home first. it's getting cold here. i'll tell you everything there."
and there both of you ended up inside your home as satoru quietly inspected the surroundings. there was your picture and his son hanging on the wall.
"here." you said, handing him a glass of water. "i'm guessing suguru told you?"
"no. i actually overheard them."
"i see."
"so, where's.. umβ€” can i see our child?" he asked and your heart ached at his question. you thought suguru told him already?
satoru didn't know what to do you when you started sobbing as you covered your face with your palms.
"you can't." you mumbled, wiping your tears as you look down on your lap.
"i understand.. but if you'reβ€”"
"you can't, satoru. we can'tβ€”"
"i know. i know you still don't trust me but i promise i willβ€”"
"he's gone, satoru! don't you understand it? he's gone, he's dead, we can't see him anymore!" you exclaimed. everything was just overwhelming and you didn't mean to yell at him. "i'm sorry." you mumbled, once again, covering your face with your hands as you cry.
you felt his presence beside you as he wrapped his arms around you. he didn't know what else to do and satoru thought being close to you will help, being close to you will maybe help his almost shattering soul.
"i'm sorry." satoru said as he felt your arms around him. was this suguru meant when you were still vulnerable. he should've asked suguru to be more clear so there, satoru would know how to comfort you very well.
"i'm sorry, satoru. i kept him away from you when he wanted to see you. i should've pushed aside my own feelings and let sanyu meet you but i just couldn't, and now guilt is eating me up. it's my fault he couldn't see his papa on his last days. it was his last wishes butβ€”"
"shh, stop it already. it's okay. don't blame yourself."
"i'm really sorry." no. satoru told himself he doesn't deserve your apologies and thinks everything was his fault to begin with.
"it was my fault that i couldn't be there for you. for our son. i deserve all the blame." satoru said as you slightly pulled away from him as you wiped your tears.
"it's not your fault either. sanyu was born with a weak heart. i couldn't protect him with that, no?" you said as you placed your hands on your lap.
"when we met at the parking lot, was that?.." you nodded your head in response as you recalled that day.
"that was the day after sanyu died." you mumbled and satoru couldn't help but clench his jaw. if only he knew.
satoru snapped out of his thoughts when he felt you sit up from the couch as you kneeled infront of the small table, taking something beneath it as you went back beside him.
"come, i'll show you his pictures." you said as you smiled at him and satoru couldn't help but mirror you. just for now, maybe you both could be happy, even just for now.
-
"he even cut his own hair, look!" you exclaimed, pointing a certain picture as satoru laughed with you.
he missed a lot things. when you were carrying his child, when his son was born, when his son was growing up. he wasn't there to witness everything and he almost– no, he regrets it so so much.
"i almost dyed his hair black 'cause he reminds me of you so much." you sighed as you closed the album, finally reaching its end as you place it on the table.
"we really do look like each other." satoru said as you lightly smile at him.
"you're not wrong." you responded and suddenly, it became silent.
"i'm sorry (name)." he started as you stayed still in your position. "i tried looking for you." he continued as he held your hand on his with you still avoiding to look at him. "why didn't you tell me before?" he said and that's what made you look at him. is he seriously asking you that?
"i don't know, satoru. do you?" you asked and he was completely taken aback.
"you should definitely go home now, someone might be waiting for you.." you said as you stand up from the couch, only for him to stop you by your wrist.
you looked at him for a moment and he did too. he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out as your hand slowly slipped out of his grasp and you turned your back at him.
"if you want to know more about sanyu, just ask."
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it's been a week since you and satoru talked things out. it felt good to be able to talk everything with him. you thought at some point that satoru will hate you even more for not informing him about his son's existence but it was the opposite.
and maybe, you shouldn't have stalked his social and there you wouldn't stumble on his ex' account, because you never knew that it would hurt you this much, that it would hurt your already, broken heart.
you felt some type of jealousy seeing his family be happy in those pictures. they even went on a trip, on different places and many more. satoru looked happy. maybe if those mistakes were prevented back then, it would be you, him and sanyu.
there were missed calls and unread messages from suguru and shoko but you didn't have the energy to reply to each of them.
you just wanted to lay in your bed all day, almost wishing that sanyu would knock at your door asking for a help with his assignment, but no, it wouldn't happen anymore. you were all alone now, you'll never be able to feel happiness again, everything felt too empty for you to feel any type of emotions except for sorrow.
-
your eyes slowly opened when you felt something cold in your forehead.
"you're finally awake."
"what happened?" you asked as you tried to sit up from the bed, only for satoru to push you back.
"don't stand up yet. you passed out on the living room. you've been sleeping for a day already. are you eating? don't starve yourself." he talks too fast that you almost didn't catch his words.
"why are you here?" you asked.
"well.. i guess i want to know more about sanyu." he said as he hesitantly looked at you. "i'm sorry for walking around your house without your permission but, i saw a small shrine on the room beside here. is that sanyu's?" satoru asked as you nod at him.
"i forgot to tell you but i had sanyu cremated."
"okay, i understand."
"you can visit him anytime if you want."
"that would be great. thank you."
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satoru did visit once a week. you noted that it was always on thursdays, just like suguru had told you that satoru's always available on thursdays.
your house would be messy if satoru wasn't around but if you knew that he'll be visiting, you'll force yourself to clean the house. you didn't want him to see you in worst state again, not anymore. he didn't have to know that you were starving yourself, that you would only eat when he brings you food.
he doesn't need to know. not that he would care, right? satoru is not in the position to care for you after all. he only visits for his son, it's wasn't because of you. maybe you should stop being delusional and face the reality that satoru and you couldn't work together anymore. he already has a family on his own. he has nothing to do with you anymore. a part of you is still hoping though but then again, he doesn't need to know.
there was a time where satoru visited you on tuesday. it was unexpected that he caught you almost hurting yourself. house and room messy.
it hurts him to see you like this. he couldn't help but to compare the old you to the you now. a big difference. he doesn't see you smile anymore. he doesn't hear your laugh anymore.
"you needn't to hurt yourself, okay? tell me if i can help in any way." he said as you sit on the couch, knees close to your chest as you stare at nothing.
your thoughts was playing with you because all of the sudden, you recalled everything that has happened between you and satoru. his mistakes, his wrongdoings, his happy family. your blood started to boil and you couldn't help but blame him in your mind. that it was his fault why sanyu have to suffer.
"hey, i know it still hurting you butβ€”"
"you know nothing!" you exclaimed which took him off guard. he was unfamiliar with that look in your face.
"(name), calm down." he said as he tried to reach for you, only for you to slap his hand away.
"shut up! don't order me around! can you just leave my house?" you yelled. "this is all your fault." you mumbled and satoru heard it loud and clear. you weren't wrong though. "leave! i don't want to see you anymore. i hate you."
-
and even if you push him as many times as you want, satoru would not lose hope. he still visits you and sanyu. though he took note of the changes in your mood sometimes.
satoru visited late than usual. you already fell asleep on the couch. you swore you weren't waiting for him or something. it just happened that you got tired from the cleaning the house.
after the usual visit of you and satoru in your child's room both decided to eat the food he brought.
"sorry i was late. i had a hard time choosing a ringβ€”" he cuts off himself with a fake cough as he looked away from you. "anyway, sorry for making you wait."
"it's fine. thank you for bringing me food."
"of course."
today, you seemed a lot more good now. satoru can notice you smile everytime. he didn't want to assume that you're smiling because of him though.
"is there something wrong?" he asked when he noticed you staring at him.
"i'm fine. thank you for visiting." you said as you walked satoru at the front door. "oh wait." you said, walking back to your room as satoru stood still on the front door and you went back after a minute.
"take this." you said, handing him a certain necklace.
"for me?" satoru said, taking the necklace in your hand.
"i asked them to put a little bit of sanyu ashes inside. you can't open that anymore since they locked it." satoru's eyes widened at your words.
"thank you." he said as you smiled at him.
"here, let me help." you said, as you wear the necklace on him. "sanyu will always be by your side, wherever you are." you said as you smiled and suddenly, satoru turned around, his face was too close to you and you think he could almost hear on how loud your beating heart is.
you awkwardly took a step back as you cleared your throat to ease the awkward tension.
"thank you (name), really. i will treasure this." he said as you smiled at him, for the last time.
"sorry for yelling at you sometimes, satoru."
"don't worry, i understand. just let me know if you want to release some stress. i'll try my best to help." he said and despite of answering, you only smiled, again.
"thank you, satoru. sanyu was the best son i could ever have." you said and he suddenly placed a hand on your head. like how he always does before as he leaned to your level.
"thank you for raising our child." he said as you look at him with widened eyes and you couldn't help but frown as you place a hand close to your chest.
stop giving me false hope, satoru.
"take care." you couldn't help but tear up as you whispered those words as satoru left. be happy, always. even if it's without me.
"i had a hard time choosing a ring." you mumbled, mimicking his words.
you smiled but what you were feeling inside was opposite. maybe you shouldn't expect too much because in the end, if reality didn't reach your expectations, it'll just hurt you more.
it really hurts to think that you made a man for another woman but, it is what it is. you're just glad that satoru seemed to cherish his new family now.
he did changed a lot, huh.
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"satoru."
"be quick, suguru. i'm a bit busy right now." satoru said as he heard his best friend sigh at the other line.
"did (name) said something to you?" satoru immediately sat properly on his office chair when he heard your name.
"nothing much. she gave me a necklace though, why?"
"i see. look, if you have time today come in her house."
"why? what happened?"
"do you have a time today, at least?"
"i guess i could try." satoru said. "is there something wrong with (name)." satoru asked and there was a long pause from suguru's end before he answered.
-
satoru went back from what it seemed like a long trip as he sat on his office chair.
he stared at a certain velvet box on his table. his black glasses was discarded as he lightly move the office chair left to right.
he did had a hard time choosing a ring. he doesn't know of you still like the same design. did you change your preferences?he doesn't know that's why satoru bought a limited edition ring for you. he was told that the ring brings luck and now he just wanted to throw the ring in the middle of an ocean.
"brings luck my ass." he muttered. he was too tired to think. he refused to believe suguru's words because he just saw you 2 days ago. was suguru playing pranks on him again?
"she's been found in her room. unalive." suguru's words kept repeating inside his head like a broken radio as he clutched the necklace on his hand.
he was supposed to ask you to start over again, to try things out again, from there, he swore that he wouldn't do the same mistake again but it was all too late now.
maybe the universe didn't want you and him to be together again that's why they took you away from him, his son too. he knew he did mistakes back then but was it too much that they have to take his family away forever?
yeah, this must be his punishment for doing those unforgiving things to you.
-
"suguru, do you think (name) would agree if i ask her to start over again?"
"there's nothing wrong with trying, satoru, but know that people tend to change. don't be surprised when she doesn't want you in her life anymore." suguru said as his best friend kept quiet. "but what about them?"
"who?"
"your ex and your son."
"i couldn't care less about her, but i still cherish sanyu since he grew up with me, even if he's not my legal child."
"you don't really want to tell (name) about it?" suguru suggested and satoru couldn't help but think if he could do what his best friend is suggesting.
"what's the point? will it change everything?" satoru mumble, an ache going straight to his chest. "it hurts for me to say this but i only accepted to raise sanyu because i couldn't stop thinking of (name), of having a family with her. i forced myself to believe that he's our son. i didn't even know that (name) is actually carrying our child."
"why don't you just sue your ex for paternity fraud?"
"there's no point in it. she's still sanyu's mother."
"you're too nice, satoru."
no, he wasn't. in fact, he almost sent his ex to prison but he couldn't stop thinking of how sanyu will react if he found out that his mother was sent to jail by his father. he was too young for those things.
but satoru asks himself, why? why does he have to do these things? why does he have to think of how sanyu would feel? they weren't relatives anyway. he could take everything he spent for raising sanyu, he could just leave them to live their own life, but he just couldn't do it.
"if only i could go back in time." satoru mumbled and suguru didn't know what do respond to that anymore. if only.
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tags: @skylarlyn823 @mo0nforme @mor-pheus @he4rts444mi @bubblysunwoosworld @arieltate @imaniitheoneee @kaiiriiis @ichikanu @witchbybirth @yoimiya-m @hojoslutoru @itsvalomfg I COULDN'T TAG THE OTHERS SORRY TvT
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velvetvexations Β· 4 months ago
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I'm a trans woman. You need to stop being weird about men.
The idea that trans women should be allowed in single sex spaces for cis women is completely contradicted by the man vs. bear discourse. Ignore that I keep going back to the meme - maybe it's still doing numbers, I don't know, but it's good shorthand either way. If you think men are inherently suspicious and dangerous, ask yourself: why does that not apply to trans women?
What, exactly, does a trans woman do to make herself different from cis men? How are you not advocating a belief in people being tainted by the way they were raised* which can only logically apply to trans women as much as it does cis men? It boggles the mind how, if that's a true concept, one could simply self-identify out it. Yet, the way transradfems talk, literally the only thing that distinguishes an AMAB better-than-bear from an AMAB worse-than-bear is that the former says they're totally better than a bear and you should take their word for it, which if men are really Like That should be of little comfort or security.
Some, even, will make impassioned defenses of butch trans women, which as a butch trans woman is great. But then they'll go on about how evil men are, and how innocent and victimized trans women are, and I wonder, what, exactly, differs an especially butch trans woman from a man to them? If, like me, a trans butch woman doesn't always wear clearly feminine clothes, has body hair, maybe even a shade of facial hair, and doesn't at all try to train her voice, are you going to be uncomfortable with her right up until she realizes she forgot to put their pin on and you see the she/her? Apparently that flips the switch from someone you desperately don't want to be alone with to someone you're totally fine undressing in front of?
All that sounds like TERFism, which is exactly the problem. The transradfem version of reality is one where TERF talking points are completely logical, because they're both based in the same radfem reality. That's not my reality, YOU have constructed a system perfect for them to operate in, that their ideology is fantastic for pointing out errors of reasoning in, as if it was deliberately crafted by them to be deconstructed. I would not at all be surprised if that's the origin of a lot of trans radical feminism, a psyop to make the trans community weaker with logic twists that TERFism can swing through like the Gordian Knot.
If you accept man vs. bear, TERFism is the only logical conclusion. If you don't, as I don't, then it isn't.
The only alternative is that you think being a woman is the only thing anyone should be and "choosing" to be a man is morally inferior. Which I shouldn't have to tell you is horrifying. It's also again incongruous with at least your defense of butch trans women - what exactly defines a "man" and a "woman" when a butch trans woman doesn't have to try to pass at all? You are literally saying all of this, gender, transmisogyny, misogyny, hinges entirely on pronouns and a difference of two letters in the name of what they call themselves, someone is dangerous or not depending on if they go by he/him.
TERFs will see this and be like "yeah! exactly!" BUT MY POINT IS USING THAT TO SHOW YOU SHARE THE SAME FOUNDATIONAL LOGIC AS THEM. If you don't want TERFs to have a point then you can stop accepting their worldview any day now! Come join me and frolic freely where we think TERFs are wrong!
*socialization is real and the idea pre-dates TERFs who incorrectly use the idea that to say that because a trans woman may or may not** have been pressured by external forces to play sportsball she must be hardcoded to be a sex offender, which is completely ridiculous
**no one can be said to have the same experiences, it's a generalization
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kamiversee Β· 8 months ago
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➢-Ν™Λš ༘✢ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*π˜Ύπ™† π™‡π™„π™Žπ™
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✧.* CHAPTER 13 || The Unexpected
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[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➀ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?
[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➀ language, sexual tension, & smut.
[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➀ 5.5k
[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➀ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.
[ [ chapters mlist } ]
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β€”β€”YOU RUSH OUT OF THE building completely flustered with an embarrassed expression written all over your face.
Perhaps after dealing with men who so easily compliment you and fell for your flirtatious traps you'd grown accustomed to not being turned down. Getting dismissed by a man like Toji Fushiguro isn't exactly something you planned for.
It won't stop you from showing up next week and trying again but it will leave you embarrassed and shamefully horny.
You strolled down the campus pathway, heading toward where your car was with your head stuck on what had just happened. The man seriously just told you to get out. You thought you had managed to seduce him at least a little but now you guess you were wrong.
So distracted with your thoughts of what just happened, you nearly miss as a familiar voice calls your name. Your lashes flutter as you blink a few times and look around the area to spot the man who'd called your name.
Your brows push together when you don't see anyone. Okay, now you're hearing things-
"Right here, gorgeous." Geto suddenly whispers into your left ear.
The sudden sound makes you jump and you move your hand to smack his chest for scaring you. He chuckles at your reaction and you give him an annoyed scowl.
"Suguru, don't scare me like that!" You huff.
Geto snickers at you, "Sorry."
A pout takes over your expression and the sight furthers his amusement.
"You're so cute," He hums, raising a hand to pinch your cheek. You immediately smack him off. "Oh c'mon, don't be like that. You didn't even send me a text after our date... How do you think that makes me feel?" He says with a sudden frown.
You blink. "Uh..."
"That's not nice, y'know. Leaving me all high and dry." Geto continues as he shakes his head at you.
"I just thought..." You trail off for a second and the man leans toward your face suddenly.
The words you were going to say fall off your tongue completely as Geto abruptly begins to study your facial expression.
"You alright?" He asks.
You try leaning away, "Yes, why?"
"You look..." His eyes narrow, "I dunno, horny?"
"H-Huh?" Your heartbeat spikes in alarm. If he can tell, does that mean Mr. Fushiguro was able to see that as well? "How the hell can you notice something like that?!" You question the man.
"Darling, I spent an entire night seeing you with that exact same facial expression. I don't think I'll be forgetting it anytime soon." Geto reminds you.
You grit your teeth slightly, "Is it... Is it that obvious?" You mumble.
The man in front of you grows surprised, eyebrows raising and a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. "I mean, to me, yes. Though, I wasn't expecting you to admit it so truthfully."
You freeze. Shit, you just told on yourself. "Uh.."
"No need to try lying about it now." Get said with a shrug. He then stands straight up, "What-, actually, who got you all worked up?"
"Uhm..." Your eyes dart off to the side. Why the hell would you tell him anything-
"Was it Mr. Fushiguro?" Geto guesses. He was going based on the building you just left and who was likely to be in there.
Your eyes fly right back over to the man, "How the fuck-"
"Did you forget that I know about the list...?" He reminds you with a slight chuckle.
"You..." A sudden thought rushes to your mind. "Holy shit, you do, don't you?"
"Yeah, so-"
"Shouldn't I be pissed with you right now?" You ask as you remember that Gojo said Geto had videoed you the night of your date.
He scoffs. "What for?"
"Didn't you record me??" You question.
For a moment, Geto stares at you as if he's contemplating something. Then he swallows, "Uh, no."
"No?? But Gojo said-"
"He lied."
"He..." Your head cocks back in surprise, "He what?"
"He lied. I never recorded you." Geto says honestly.
You scowl at the male, "Bullshit."
"When would I have had time to do that?" He scoffs, "I could hardly think straight with the way you were sucking my-"
You move a hand over his mouth and look to your left and right. "Shut up," You snap at the man. "No need to put our business out there like that..."
Geto chuckles beneath your palm before lightly taking hold of your wrist and pulling your hand away. "My bad. But seriously, when would I have recorded you? And if you want," He moves to pull his phone out, "You can check my phone."
You stare up at him, glance down at his phone for a second, then look back up at him. "You could've sent it to Gojo and then deleted it from your phone." You point out.
"True but, I didn't," Geto says.
You fold your arms, "And how am I supposed to believe you?"
"What reason would I have to lie?"
"I don't know."
"And what good would blackmailing you do me? I'm not Satoru." Geto tells you.
He has a point, but you're still unsure if you want to trust him. "You're his best friend though."
"We're two different people. Completely opposite of each other." He hums.
"Okay..." You say, batting your eyelashes at him. "That doesn't prove anything or make me want to believe you any more."
"Alright," Geto sighs, "What if I offer you comfort?"
"Comfort...?"
"I can only imagine how alone you feel in your situation."
Fuck, he's right. You swallow, "I..."
"You can't tell Shoko because you feel embarrassed, can't talk to Satoru because you 'hate' him, and I'm not sure if you know anyone else that you'd comfortably want to talk to about this." Geto points out flawlessly.
You simply stare at the man with hardly any response to that. He's right, after all, you have been feeling ridiculously alone in your predicament.
"I obviously can't make you believe me about not recording you but, you can trust me." He claims.
You remain unconvinced, "How do I know you're not trying to manipulate me like Gojo?"
"Because if I was trying to manipulate you, I would've done it already."
"Uhuh, sure you would've."
"I'm serious. I only approached you today because I wanted to talk to you about this."
"Yeah right."
"I don't know what Satoru has going on in that head of his but even a blind man could see that what he's doing isn't right."
Your eyes suddenly light up, "Are you saying you're going to help me out of this?"
"No."
"But... you could if you wanted to," You say as you raise a brow, "Couldn't you?"
Of course he could. All Geto has to do is tell you the truth about the situation. "What makes you think that?" He asks.
"Suguru..." Your eyes narrow and you lean closer to him accusingly, "You know something that could get me out of this, don't you?"
"N-No." Geto stammers.
"Liar."
"Alright, let's say hypothetically I did... I wouldn't be able to help you out without fucking myself over."
You blink. "Huh, how?"
"Do you really think Satoru is going to be happy with me ruining his fucked up little plan?"
"Well, probably not... But you're his best friend!" You emphasize, "He'll forgive you."
"Perhaps." Geto hums, "But I don't think you realize, you're not the only one Satoru's willing to blackmail."
"...He'd blackmail you too?"
"Maybe. And if not, he'd probably go out and tell people things about me I never intended on sharing..."
"Kinda like how you're a dirty little pervert?" You blurt out teasingly.
The man halts for a second, then he snickers. "Yes... Like that."
"Speaking of which... Do you still have my panties?"
"I do," He smirks and moves as if he were about to pull something out of his pocket, "Want em' back?"
"Y-You don't just walk around with them, do you?"
He laughs at your facial expression, "No."
You sigh, "Thank god. A-And yes I want them back."
"Come over one day and take em' from me." Geto taunts.
"Not happening."
"That's what I thought," He chuckles. "Anyways, back to what I was saying, you can trust me. I can't help you out of your situation directly but maybe I can help you through it."
"Really? You'd do that?" You ask, smiling at him slightly.
He stares at your expression, "Sure."
"Wait... in exchange for what?"
"Nothing."
"Liar."
"I'm not lying." Geto sighs, "Here, I can even suggest something for you."
"What?"
"Satoru's paying you right?"
"...Yeah?"
"Ask him if he'll pay you for each time you sleep with someone," Geto suggests.
"You mean like," An eyebrow raises, "If I sleep with someone more than once?"
"Mhm." He hums.
"But why would I sleep with someone twice...?"
He shrugs innocently, "I mean, right now you're horny and I'm standing right here..."
"I..." You blink, "Suguru do you want to have sex again? Is that why you're trying to help me?"
"Okay, no. That's not why I want to help you, though the sex would be a nice bonus... I've been thinking about how you probably feel." Geto says. You can feel the genuine care in his voice but you're still wary of trusting him.
"So, what, you wanna be my therapist?" You reply with a playful scoff.
He chuckles, "You sound just like him, y'know."
"Don't compare me to that asshole."
"Sorry. But if that's what you wanna call me, sure. I can be your therapist." He shrugs. "Now," Geto moves to toss an arm over your shoulder and pull you close to his side. He then tips his head down to your ear, "Tell me what has you so aroused right now?"
Steadily, the two of you begin walking together.
You swallow, "You want the details...?"
"Sure, why not?" He responds rhetorically.
"Pervert."
"C'mon, what happened in that classroom?"
With a roll of your eyes, you give in, "The professor is fucking hot, that's what."
Geto scoffs, "Yet I'm the perv."
"You are."
"But... you're the one fantasizing about a teacher fucking you..."
"I-I wasn't..."
"Really?" He smirks, "You weren't thinking about getting on your knees and being like 'please sir, just the ti-"
Heat rushes to your face, "Stop it."
Geto starts laughing at you, "Shit, I'm right aren't I? That's one of your dirty little fantasies, isn't it?"
"It's not."
"You can be honest with me, I won't judge."
"...Okay, so what if it is..."
He pauses his words for a second. The man's eyes are all over the side of your face as you keep your gaze forward. "I personally think that's hot," Geto tells you.
"Of course you do." You chuckle.
"What do you mean of course??"
"Slut."
He frowns, "That's your second time calling me that."
"You like it."
He falls silent.
"See? Can't even say you don't."
Geto abruptly whispers your name into the crown of your ear, his voice lower than you expected it to be. "Careful now, darling."
You scoff, "Why?"
"Cause, you're turning me on."
You swallow. Your lower lip gets caught between your teeth at his sudden claim and you can't ignore the fact that your arousal has yet to go away.
"You uh... Do you think Gojo will actually pay me for sleeping with someone twice?" You question, slowly turning your head to look at the man.
Geto meets your eyes and both of you have the same exact thing in mind. The tension was so very obvious.
He didn't need to say anything and neither did you.
.γ€€ . β€’ β˜† . Β° .β€’ Β°:. *β‚Š Β° . β˜† .γ€€ . β€’ β˜† . Β° .β€’ Β°:. *β‚Š Β° . β˜†
This was unexpected. You have no idea how you let yourself get in this position. Damn Geto and his way of convincing you to trust him.
Well, it's not a bad thing that you're trusting him. He made some very valid points, especially the one about him being the only one who knows about your situation and won't judge you for it.
Yet, none of that would've made you think you'd end up in the back seat of his car with his head in between your legs and his tongue deep in your cunt. Good god, the man eats you out like he'd be waiting to do so.
"Fuck Sugu," You breathed out.
The loud sounds of him sucking and slurping on your folds filled the car air. His tongue moved so sloppily over you, lapping up every drop of your wetness like there's no tomorrow.
It was all too much and too little at the same time.
"Tastes so fuckin' good," Geto groans, his voice vibrating against your clit and making your back arch off the seat slightly.
You've got your fingers tangled in that beautiful head of hair of his, unconsciously tugging at it every now and then. The way he'd wrap his lips around your sensitive bud has your lip quivering with moans pouring from your mouth.
Geto flicked his tongue over it and then shifted slightly to swirl the tip of his tongue around your clit. Those large hands over his were tightly gripping onto the underside of your thighs, keeping your legs spread no matter how much you squirmed beneath him.
He pulled his jaw back slightly and peeked up at you for a second before sticking his tongue out and pressing it flat against your wet cunt. Geto slides one of his hands up along your thigh while slurping your taste into his mouth.
Pulling away from your pussy with a loud pop, you hear him swallow. "You've gotta let me get these off you," Geto pleads, referring to the pretty lace stockings you had on.
"W-Why," You stammer as he moves to kiss over your sex.
"Mgh," He moans into you. "I n-need em'" Geto tells you, his voice desperate.
You were unaware but the man's cock was bulging against his pants and he'd been dry humping his car seat to get some kind of friction as he ate you out. You gasp as he moved to rub his thumb over your clit and his mouth focuses on your insides.
A breathy chuckle leaves you, "Need em' f-for what...?" You voice out in between a moan.
The man couldn't even respond to you as he needily worked to please you. Geto's tongue was buried so deep inside your pussy that you think you were starting to see stars. Along with his thumb, you felt his nose brush up against your clit as he pressed his face into your sex.
An arm draped over your mouth, "Y-You're makin' a mess... ngh, Sugu... hah..." You moaned out to the man.
You could feel the way he smiled at your words. The hand that's still on your thigh slides up and one of your stockings is suddenly stripped from you in an instant.
"Mmmgh... I know," He whispers. His face was so wet from you but he didn't care, simply shoving his tongue into your sopping hole regardless.
Confusion takes over your expression for a second but when Geto pulls away and spits on your cunt to further the sloppiness of it all, your brain fades to mush.
That one stocking of yours is soon used for the male to relieve himself. Another loud popping sound is heard as he pries his lips from you and lifts his head. His eyes are so low and lustful, his tongue hangs slightly out of his mouth, and the bottom of his face is coated in your slick.
Geto licks his lips, "Hah... I have class soon," He hums before sitting up.
Two of his fingers slot into you abruptly to make up for the lack of his mouth. "Hnngh... A-Ah, then why'd you w-want to..." Your words fade into a whine as he curls his digits up into your g-spot.
His other hand hastily works to free his cock from his clothes and you hazily watch him hold your stocking in his mouth for a second. After his dick is freed from restrictions, your cunt clenched around him at the sight of Geto using those stockings of yours to jerk off-- shamelessly moaning at the contact of the soft fabric to his shaft.
Your jaw drops at the sight, "You're so... f-fuckin' dirty," You say meanly, words going straight to the man's cock.
Geto tosses his head back, one hand working to please you and the other moving to relieve himself simultaneously. "F-Fuck, mgh... keep, shit, keep talkin' to me like that." He requests.
The fingers thrusting inside you increase in pace and you feel a thumb swat over your clit. "Ha-ah, you're so nasty Sugu..."
"Yeah?" He flashes a smile, "Fuck, 'm gonna cum if you keep degrading me like that."
"Mm-mmh... look at you, ngh-, getting off with my stocking..." Your eyes roll back a little, "So filthy-, fuck." You squeak out as your climax approaches.
"Agh," Geto groans, the jerking motion of his hand growing faster as his precum smears along his length.
The situation was so lewd-- Geto jerking off with a clothing item that'd just been wrapped around your leg for hours and his free hand eagerly fingering you as he did so. Your legs steadily drew together while the squelching sound of his two thick fingers plunging into you hit your ears.
It sounded so messy and sloppy. Your moaning and Geto's groaning were filling the car and fogging up his already tinted windows.
Your orgasm crashed over you when the male swiveled his digits around inside you. His eyes were on yours as you did so, large hand pumping his cock with vigor at the sight of you.
"Oh f-fuck," Geto moaned, his voice slightly pitched.
Your eyes were glossy as your orgasm died down but you clearly saw as the man slid his fingers out of you and brought them up to his mouth. You watch those pretty eyes of his rollback once your taste is on his tongue again and he groans against his fingers as he too reaches his peak.
Geto sucks your slick off his own fingers and cums hard into his hand and all over your stockings. The sight of his body shuddering slightly and a string of saliva connecting from his fingertips to his lower lip as he pulls his hand away from his mouth is something you drink in entirely.
You carefully shut your legs and innocently stare at the mess the man has made of himself. "You're gross..." You say teasingly.
"Hah," He pants slightly and glances over to you, "Am I?"
"You just came all over my stocking..." You say with a scoff, "Perv."
"S'that your new nickname for me or something?" Geto asks.
"Yeah, it is." You say with a sigh. After which you shut your eyes and grin, "Gojo better pay me for this or you're in trouble."
"I'm sure he will." He responds simply.
"If he doesn't..." You begin moving to sit up, "You'll owe me."
"Oh, so you're a full-time whore then?"
"N-No but... I need the money," You mumble.
Geto looks down at the nasty mess he's made of himself and chuckles, "I'll pay you if you come clean me up."
You blink, "Are you serious...?"
"Maybe."
You think about it for a second but when you look down at the pitiful sight of your cum covered stocking wrapped around his length, you frown.
"Nah, I'm good." You say simply.
Geto rolls his eyes, "You're no fun."
And with that, the two of you respectively begin to clean yourselves up. You ended up texting Gojo and asking him that question of yours. To which he responded with a bunch of follow-up questions regarding if you had just slept with his best friend again.
When you told him yes, he ended up leaving you on read and simply sending you more money. A smile had grown on your face when you realized that fact bothered him to the point where he couldn't even respond to you.
.γ€€ . β€’ β˜† . Β° .β€’ Β°:. *β‚Š Β° . β˜† .γ€€ . β€’ β˜† . Β° .β€’ Β°:. *β‚Š Β° . β˜†
Knowing that you could hook up with anyone on the list more than once and still get paid for it was something that oddly made you quite happy.
Over the course of the next few weeks, you did two things. First, you and Geto ended up talking more than you expected to. He'd give you decent advice on how to seduce Toji and you used every bit of it.
Secondly, you attended that one class and endured a private lesson every Monday while getting riskier and riskier with your flirting.
Each lesson ended relatively the same nonetheless, Toji would say that it's been enough time the very second you had this certain look in your eyes. He learned to steal himself for the way you look at him or the questions you may ask and ever since that one time, he's never allowed you to tempt him again.
You used every ounce of advice that Geto continuously gave you-- maintain your posture, give him bedroom eyes, respond in ways that make the man feel like he's in control, etc. Surprisingly, Geto's advice was really good.
You notice subtle changes every time you use his suggestions and you're pretty sure it was all working. Slowly but surely, Toji was growing closer and closer to crossing that line with you.
After that spontaneous hook-up you had with Geto, you found yourself doing it a few times actually. It was always random and sometimes you didn't even bother to ask Gojo for money because having a fuck buddy was kinda fun.
And no, you didn't forget about the walking green flag that is Choso Kamo. The two of you went from texting every few days and a few phone calls to texting every single day and multiple phone calls. Although you couldn't tell him about the list, you were growing very close to him in terms of friendship.
In your mind, you had Geto to rant to about the list and Choso to talk to about anything else. You had started to feel comfortable in your situation. Well, to a certain extent of course.
There was always this little voice in the back of your mind screaming every time you flirted with Mr. Fushiguro but aside from that, you were slowly getting more and more into this role of yours.
You still actively ignored Gojo unless it was about the list, Geto was a good fuck every now and then and he'd listen to you complain whenever you needed to, Choso was just this little ball of sunshine who you wanted to avoid hurting at all costs, and Toji was...
Okay well, the man was completely fine up until the fourth week of your lessons with him.
It was the first and only time you had arrived late. You missed the entire lecture and arrived at his classroom just as the man seemed to be packing up to leave.
Toji was standing at his desk grabbing a few things but he paused when you came rushing into his classroom. Your breathing was heavy, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you tried to regain oxygen in your lungs.
Your eyes were noticeably low, your face flushed with emotions, and your top was noticeably undone. With your hands on your knees and your body hunched over slightly, you panted heavily to catch your breath.
"M-Mr. Fushiguro, I... hah, I'm sorry I'm l-late." You huffed out.
The man was quiet as he stared at you. Slowly, you stood straight up and began to fan yourself off.
"Fuck," You curse. "Sir it's so hot in here."
Toji blinked at the sight of you slightly sweaty and still out of breath. With a scoff and a light shake of his head, he turns and takes a seat at his desk. "Did you run here or somethin'?" He asks, voice deep and husk like always.
You nod your head, "Y-Yeah."
Was that entirely true? No, but, you weren't going to tell him that.
As you look at the older man you notice that his gaze is slowly trailing down your body. That little stockings and skirt combo is hugging your body again and you don't miss the way Toji oggles the sight of you.
As his gaze rises back up, it comes to a pause at your chest and he raises an eyebrow at you. You blink and look down at yourself, noticing you've got more buttons undone than intended to.
"Shit," You whisper while raising your hands to fix yourself, "Sorry Sir."
"You're fine." The man says. "Sure you still wanna' interview me today?" He asks.
You nod your head again and glance up to look at him as your fingers work against your shirt, "Yes. I know I came late but I'm here now."
Toji moves to rest his elbow on his desk, propping his arm up and resting his cheek against his knuckles. "Care to explain why you were late?" He questions.
You freeze. "U-Uhm."
How are you supposed to tell him that you were late because you were too busy sucking Geto off in his car and almost completely forgot about these lessons of yours?
"Uhm?" Toji mocks, raising an eyebrow.
"Traffic." You result in telling him before looking back down at your shirt.
You began to struggle with one of the buttons and it was starting to frustrate you, especially since you left Geto completely untouched and now you're all hot, horny, and frustrated.
Toji's eyes narrow in on the messy state of your shirt. You looked more disheveled than you realized. "Traffic, huh?" He hums.
"Mhm."
"Traffic's got you all messed up like that?" The man quizzes further.
Again, your body freezes. Your sights slowly rise back up and over to him, "Y-Yes Sir..."
He scoffs and you watch his hand raise. Toji beckons you over to him with two fingers. At first, you don't move. Then, after the slight stutter in your brain, you carefully walk over to him.
Toji's seated comfortably in his chair and peers up at you in front of him. He tilts his head to the side and nods his chin at your chest, "Need some help?" He offers.
You're not sure why his words make you shift around where you're standing. "U-Uh... yes." You murmur.
"Yes, what?" He taunts.
The words slip out of your mouth faster than you wanted them to, "Yes please."
Toji smirks and then sits up. It's so slow and teasing how his large hands rise up along your body, just barely grazing you before he reaches your chest. The man stares for a second and then flicks his gaze up to you.
You watch his fingers latch onto the buttons and he too struggles to fix your shirt properly. Something in your head tells you that he's struggling because of the angle he's at so, your body moves before you think about it.
You take another step forward and move so that one leg is planted in between his larger ones. The upper half of your body leans forward into the man's touch and you place a hand on the armrest of the chair to hold yourself up.
Then, to take it further, you lift the leg in between his and push your knee into the chair. You grow dangerously close to his crotch but you pretend not to notice it.
Toji bats his eyes at the sight of you over him. Your tits are practically in his face and he can smell the freshly sprayed perfume oozing off your body. The fingers he had on those buttons of yours slip off of you and he sits back in his chair.
You swallow, "S-Sorry is this..." You start moving back.
Toji licks his lips before saying, "Did I tell you to move?"
Your body halts all movement in an instant. He smirks at your sudden obedience. The man weighs his head to the side while looking up at you.
Those seemingly hazel eyes of his narrow at you, "Let's do somethin' a little different today." Toji suggests.
You remain over him, "Different l-like what?"
His legs spread further apart and you don't miss the way his hips roll upward as he adjusts himself in his chair. The sight alone makes the annoying throb in your core continue. Toji doesn't lay a finger on you just yet, simply gazing up at you.
"I want you to tell me about yourself today."
"H-Huh?"
"It's been four weeks and I've hardly learned anything about the woman interviewing me," Toji points out. He then tilts his head, "How's that fair?"
You blink dumbfoundedly, "Well... I didn't think it was uh, necessary for you to learn much about me."
"It's probably not but," A slow hand rises slightly and his fingertips graze the end of your skirt playfully. "I am curious."
"Why?" You ask, chuckling nervously.
His eyes drop down to where his hand is and you feel two of his fingers move to pinch the fabric of your skirt. "Every week you show up in a similar outfit and ask me all kinds of questions. And the one thing I've noticed is that somehow," Deep colored eyes snap back up to your face, "The questions always turn into something sexual."
"Well I've said it before Mr. Fushiguro, those questions-"
"Make your project better, yeah, yeah, I know." He cuts off. "But if that's the case, why don't you just find out the answer to some of those questions yourself?"
You swallow, "What do you mean...?"
"Last week you asked me about my kinks." Toji recalls casually, "Why don't I demonstrate one on you?"
Your whole body is hot and needy at the very idea of what he's suggesting. The look in your eyes is unavoidably lustful and the man could clearly see from the moment you'd walked in that you were unusually flustered.
"D-Demonstrate?" You repeat innocently.
"Yeah, how's that sound?" Toji asks, looking for your consent. "You can tell me no if I'm misinterpreting all those looks you've been giving me-"
"No, no," You cut off, "I wanna do it, sir."
Toji's cock twitches at the sultry sound of your voice and the words you just uttered.
That painfully attractive smirk of his appears, "Yeah?"
You nod your head, "Mhm."
Okay, this is not how you intended things to go today. It was supposed to be another day of you flirting and asking more suggestive questions but, this works out for you anyways. Not only are you shamefully wet because of the way Geto was moaning and praising you not too long ago but you also can't help but feel so very needy for the touch of Toji Fushiguro.
His hands are so large and veiny, you want them all over your body. You crave for this professor to manhandle you and fuck you til' you can't think straight.
"Alright then," Toji sighs, sitting back in his seat. His eyes then focus on your own with complete seriousness, "Sit."
You hesitate. Glancing around the area, you wonder if he was referring to a nearby seat or something.
Toji chuckles at the clear confusion in your eyes but then he bobs his leg one good time to gesture where he was talking about. "Right here, pretty girl." He directs.
You slowly look down at his large leg in between yours, "O-On your leg, Mr. Fushiguro?"
"My thigh. Sit." He orders.
Embarrassment was coursing through you. Surely if you sat on his thigh, he'd feel the mess you are in your underwear.
You swallow, "Why...?"
Toji snickers at your hesitance. "I wanna watch you get off on my thigh."
You think you feel your cunt throb as his words hit your ears. The thought alone is dizzying.
"So," He continues, moving a hand to your lower back and lightly tapping you. "Sit."
Finally, you do just as he's instructed. As you seat yourself on his thigh, you feel so jittery and nervous. You're soaked right now and you just know he can feel it.
When Toji sees you've made yourself comfortable, he moves his hand to your chin and grabs a light hold of it, "Good girl." He praises.
You think you had to bite back the moan that wanted to escape you in reaction to the praise alone.
The leg in between yours suddenly lifts into you slightly, making your lips part and a breathy noise leaves you. "Now," Toji takes his hand off you and stares at the full sight of your smaller body resting atop his thigh. "Go on, lemme watch you fuck yourself on me."
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GOJO SATORU βœ”οΈŽ
GETO SUGURU βœ”οΈŽ
TOJI FUSHIGURO ☐
KAMO CHOSO ☐
NANAMI KENTO ☐
??? SUKUNA ☐
??? NAOYA ☐
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letters-to-lgbt-kids Β· 9 months ago
Text
My dear lgbt+ kids,
Can you have a healthy relationship with a narcissist?
Well, if you trust many social media posts, then the answer would be a resounding "No". Narcissistic is - apparently - a synonym for abusive, and of course you can't have a healthy relationship with an abusive partner!
But, well, social media is not always right. A lot of topics get oversimplified, terms get misused and black-or-white thinking is rampant - and "narcissistic means abusive" falls into all three of those pits.
Let's look at it a bit closer: "Abusive" describes a set of behaviors - while narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) describes, well, a personality disorder. It's a mental health condition.
I am not a trained mental health professional, so I'll use a medical source here. According to mayoclinic.org (link to article), symptoms and their intensity may vary from one affected person to the next (just like the exact symptoms and severity of depression or anxiety may vary!). A person with NPD may
have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance
have an excessive need for attention and admiration
have low/no empathy (struggle to understand or care about the feelings of others)
have low self-worth
be easily upset by criticism
struggle with social interactions
have difficulty managing their emotions
experience major problems dealing with stressΒ 
And, again just like with other mental health conditions, NPD can negatively affect the person in a lot of areas of life. For example, struggling to manage their emotions and stress levels may make it hard for them to hold down a job and cause financial worries, or they may avoid participating in social events, which may lead to them becoming isolated and depressed etc. And yes, of course some symptoms may also lead to problems in romantic relationships.
Therapy for NPD usually centers around talk therapy, with the goal of helping the person to better understand and manage their emotions, to learn how to cope with self-worth issues, and to create/maintain healthy fulfilling relationships and communication with the people around them.
Now, you can look at all this and go "See? The social media posts are right! They are self-centered, have no empathy and are easily upset! That's abusive!" - but that'd be jumping to conclusions. None of those things are behaviors.
An autistic person may also easily get upset and they may also feel low empathy. So could a person with major depression. Yet, we do not treat "autistic" or "depressed" as a synonym for abusive. We do not assume that their symptoms will definitely lead to abusive behavior. So, why would that be different for people with NPD?
Am I saying no person with NPD has ever been abusive? Of course not. That'd be black-or-white thinking, too. What I am saying is: People with NPD are people. And people can show abusive behavior or they can not.
If someone who easily feels upset hits you, that's abuse... but hitting would be abuse, even if they didn't feel easily upset. A partner with or without NPD shouldn't be hitting you. If someone with no empathy degrades and insults you, that's abusive... but that would be abuse regardless of their ability to feel empathy. A partner with or without NPD shouldn't be degrading and insulting you.
A person could have NPD and behave abusive - but "some people are X and Y, so all people who are X must be Y" is a flawed logic.
So, let's circle back to the beginning: can you have a healthy relationship with a narcissist? Yeah. It will be a relationship with someone who has a mental health condition and that's something to be aware of because mental health conditions do affect everyday life (duh?).
You should set boundaries and take warning signs of abuse seriously - like you should do when you date anyone, regardless of health status.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
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