#And how they're all leading experts in their field

[aidoxl]

Lord Evrard: We're all together now.

Friar Dorian Horbrooke. "Dr. Horribilis" polymath, philosopher, scientist, theologian. A genius that some call a wizard with unmatched expertise on ancient texts.

Gerard de Vendhuile. Architect and artist of the future. Your mind knows no bounds and travels places some can only dream of

Langward Ardene. Physician and surgeon who has written about the unwrite-able. Leagues above your counterparts because you know there's more to everything than meets the eye.

Barnabas of Ballechey. Astronomer and alchemist you're one of the few people who has seen visions of places beyond. Cracks that have led to our coming here.

And there's Prince Warin. Manipulative smartass. You hear me? He's clever and got his people under his thumb. Hello? Y'all paying attention to me? He's willing to do anything to get what he wants and he never stops wanting. Keep your guard around him. Did I mention he was manipulative?

[starliights-shining]

Bayverse Megatron and Optimus prime w gn cybertronian crush

Where he gets asked by reader's old friend, "Are you their conjux?" Cause apparently anyone who knows reader well enough knows that they're into large mechs who can definitely dominate them.

Also also, reader reluctantly explaining to him as to why he got asked that question

Hi hi! SOrry this took so long to come out, but don't worry its here now! I hope this is what you were looking for, Enjoy :)

Charaters: Bayverse! Optimus Prime, Bayverse! Megatron

Warnings: Megatron got a small spice kick at the end other than that none

Optimus Prime

He'd questin why the Bot is asking him and not you, but then wouldn't really be worried about it.. He might wounder if you two look that comfy and cozy with each other. He'll bring it up to you, expecting it to be some simple and easy mistake, but is a little worried and confussed when you hesitate to tell him why they asked him. Honestly I feel like he'd find it just a tad bit funny and would even ask if they assume things like this alot. With Optimus I feel like its all light hearted.

You spent a lot of time around Optimus Prime, I mean he is leading the autobots in a battle over Earth. The same battles that were in and the same battles he asks for your expert opinions in, So of course you spent a lot of time with him. Helms clicking together as you both looked at the same holo projected map of the battle fields. If you asked anyone from an outside perspective they’d say you two looked quite cozy for just ‘co-workers’, which gets you in this situation. Face to face with them as they ask why that boy asked if he was your Conjux.

His cobalt optics staring down at you, you could feel them watching, taking in every bit of your small frame while you thought about how to tell him the reason. Your processor moving quicker than you can actually keep up with. You felt yourself shrinking into your frame, shoulder plating coming up to touch your audio receptors, you honestly didn’t want to be in this situation. If they could have just kept their mouth shut and not said a single thing, you could have your feelings and further more information to yourself. Your optics searched for answers in the surroundings.

“So, I would like for you to answer.” 

Your optics flickered back over to him, locking with his blue optics, those same blue optics that seemed to be searching yours for an answer. You thought more, you could just turn around and walk away, or maybe say it super fast so he doesn’t understand, or you could ‘man up’ as Sam would say and tell him the real reason. You sighed, lowering your shoulders and moving closer to him. Your servos go to grab his and you look down at him. Studying the grey metal and all their scars. You finally look back up at him, Squinting your optics as you smile sweetly. 

“Promise you won’t be upset or mad or weirded out or,” 

He cut you off. 

“I swear.” 

You smiled, letting out a small sigh, you guess now is the time. 

“They asked you because they know,” 

You trailed off, the one thing you were trying not to do, because primus knows how hard it is for you to get back onto the same sentence. 

“They know what?” 

He was confused, which is valid, he has every right to be confused. He should be so confused that he doesn’t want to know why they asked him such a question. It would make your life so much easier right now. 

“They know,”

You took a deep breath, the thought to just spit it out crossing your processor. 

“They know I’m into bigger mech who can like totally dominate me in any situation whatsoever.” 

You took your chance, a sigh leaving you. You now stood servo in servo with the Autobot leader with a terrible poster, helm looking straight at the ground between the two of you and your optics squeezed shut. 

You heard him chuckle, the sound causing you to open one optic and peek up at him. 

“What nonsense, all this for that.”

You were awestruck, stuck looking up at the ‘larger totally dominating’ mech frozen. You could hear him talking, see his mouth moving, a smile gracing his features but you can’t hear him. He gave your servos a light squeeze, bringing you back to him. 

“Don’t fret, this will not change my views on you.” 

You let out a relieving sigh, a small smile forming on your face. 

“It enhances my views of you.” 

Megatron

Is confussed, gives the Con who asked the question an evil look and pushes them away. Honestly I think he'd take it as in insult. He'd say something like, "You think me, Lord Megatron, Is soft to some random Con." He truly thinks they saw him as weak, weak enough to have a conjux, he cannot concern himself with such minor things during this war. When he brings it up to you about being asked, he'll just stare at you, waiting for some or any response. After explaining he'll take it as a completement that they asked, and even thought he looked dominating.

Once again you find yourself in the questioning crossfire of your leader, Megatron, after one of your dearly beloved Cons let their mouth slip. Asking Lord megatron if he is your conjux, landing you this great conversation with the war criminal. He seemed uninterested, more concerned on why they’d think he’d marry and have a weakness during such a turning point within the war. His optics actually hadn’t even landed on you, more concerned with Starscream.

He trailed off, punching and pulling things off Starscream while also yelling at the Mech. He just so happened to be doing the one thing that got him asked the question. Your smaller frame standing in front of the ruble Megatron called his ‘throne’ watching as he ‘dominated and controlled’ the screamer. His assault came to an end, pushing Starscream away with his foot and saying something about him being useless, oh well not really what you were focused on. 

Your optics stared at the leader, his back turned to you as he let out audible intakes, you could see his frame moving up and down from where you stood. The damage from his fights with the Autobots shows you the wear and tear of him. Besides his face the only thing that drew your attention was his wound, the gaping gash peeking over his shoulder plating with its screeching red and fire orange melted end, the little bot critter trying his hardest to put him back together. He stretched, showing off the movement of his joints and other moving metal, he turned around, facing you. That face mixed with displeasure and satisfaction traveling into his optics as he looked down on you. Your own optics not paying much attention to his, just taking in the way he frame looked, traveling all over his chest plating and then down to his midsection, your optics taking the way his midsection tapered into his hips, primus you loved it. 

“You do know why you’re here. Get to the point and start answering questions.” 

Your optics flickered up to his, cherry red staring you down. You felt like you were shrinking, in a terribly good way. You would smile up at him, but seeing as his temper is already short, you didn’t. You brought your servo up to your mouth, letting out a throat clearing noise as you got ready to speak. You stepped up to the Mech, keeping a serious face, your mouth opened and then it hit you. You didn’t know exactly what to tell him, How to say it, and how to explain it. You looked away, for this might be the first time since you joined the Decepitcons you’ve held yourself back around him. 

“Go on, I don’t have all day.” 

You lifted your servo, squinting an eye and smiling, your optics looking up at him. He's just looking down at you, crimson optics staring holes into you, waiting for an answer. You thought you’d play with his time, the worst that could happen is he yells at you, stands over you, or kills you. 

“What did you call me here for again?” 

He scoffs, backing up and sitting in his, pile of trash, throne. 

“Why was I asked if I'm your conjux.” 

He slumped in his chair, manspreading out his ass and a servo coming up to support his helm. You froze, shoulders slumping, you wanted him, you wanted to sit in his lap and be dominated by him. You shook your helm, once again locking optics with him and sighed, why waste time when he already has you right here. 

“They know that I like mech who can dominate at any time.” 

Your voice got smaller and quieter the longer you talked, you were sure Megatron couldn’t hear what you said. You looked away from him, taking interest in the leftover scraps he pulled from Starscream, before you heard him hum. Your optics flickered back towards him, locking with his cherry red’s. 

“Interesting.”  

He didn’t seem upset or anything, more pleased. You guess it's because it sounded like a compliment, they thought he was your conjux because he looked dominating. So he has no need to be upset or angry at you, too bad the poor bot who asked barely got away after asking him that. 

“Perhaps, I can show you true dominance.”

[snixkers]

Wrinkles like Rivers

Pairing: Alex Blake × Fem!Reader

Hurt/Comfort

For: @olderwomenaremyfavs

Content Warning: References to canon violence (drugs/crime), age gap (reader is in her 30s, Alex is in her 50s), very brief suggestive comment, insecurity over appearance

Summary: At a work function, Alex feels like the other agents have her beat, in more ways than one.

Author's Note: Omg! This is my first fic posted on this site, so I'm super excited! Hope this is what you were hoping for!

Feedback is always welcome!

Requests are OPEN

It was another Bureau function, and the atmosphere was relaxed and casual. Agents usually consumed with the worst of humanity were able to escape, just for a bit, and find comfort in a night out. You mingled with some people, recognizing names but not faces from your girlfriend's stories.

For some reason, these events seemed to have the opposite effect on Alex, who usually ended up silent and brooding in the corner. You could tell she was thinking about something, but she always brushed it off so confidently that you were certain you were imagining it. After all, she was the profiler, not you.

Tonight was a different story. You could see it in her tense shoulders, her narrowed eyes, and her half-smile. Her glass was still full, although that wasn't unusual for her. Even though it wasn't your profession, you were certainly a profiler when it came to her.

You excused yourself from an agent telling you stories about her escapades busting a drug ring, making your way back to the woman watching you with rapt attention. She blinked out of her stupor when she noticed you, quickly throwing on a smile and wrapping her arm around you. It was a nice attempt, but you couldn't be fooled.

"Alex," you began, "is something bothering you?"

She shook her head, although you anticipated that reaction. Alex always kept her emotions sealed away in a vault that you rarely were given the key to. You sighed, wrapping your hands around her wrist gently and leading her off to an empty hallway.

You decided to try again, within the comfort of your sole presence.

"Alex, I know something's bothering you. And I'd appreciate it if you'd let me help."

She let out a sigh, her smile fading slightly as she fiddled with the ends of her hair.

"It's not important."

You had to resist the urge to roll your eyes. Alex *was* important. She could tell you that the sky was green and you would agree.

"Alex, please. I want to know so I can fix the problem."

She sighed, avoiding your gaze and taking a small sip of the wine provided by a rather wealthy colleague of hers.

"Watching you talk to all of those other agents, it's just hard for me. They're young, they're good in the field. Their stories are more exciting."

Your heart melted in your chest, trying to soothe any insecurities she might have.

"I don't care. You've been in longer than they have. You're more smart logical and strategic. Plus, I like a woman with a little experience."

She held back a snort at your words, but her eyes still held traces of doubt.

"It's not just about the brains. Just look at me. I mean, you could date anyone you want. There must be someone out there who's younger and prettier."

You frowned, the warmth in your chest quickly evaporating. "Alex, no. I love you. I love everything about you. I love the way your eyes crease when you laugh. I love the wrinkles on your forehead. I love the gray hairs you're hiding. Do you know why? Because to me, that stuff makes you even more beautiful."

Her gaze softened, and you could practically see her trying to come up with another excuse for why she wasn't good enough. You shook your head, leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to her lips.

"I'm always going to pick you, Alex."

She nods, taking a deep breath and kissing you back a little deeper, trying to convey the gratitude she felt. Luckily, another part of being such an expert on how she felt was that you already knew.

You smiled back, glancing over at the party.

"Should we head home?"

She nods in agreement, wrapping an arm around your waist and leading you back out to the party, the both of you clinging to each other the way you always would.

"Absolutely. Garcia told me about this game called 'Wordle', and I want to try it out."

[queermania]

why am i not writing thinkpieces on the genocide happening in gaza despite not being palestinian, not being an expert in any field even remotely related to what's happening, and not being a journalist of any kind? well this might sound crazy but i figured donating my money to esims/relief efforts and using my time to contact my representatives might be more effective than just making sure everyone knew my uneducated thoughts on the matter. sometimes knowing when to shut the fuck up and not spreading a bunch of misinformation is actually a virtue.

i'm trying not to be uspet about things like this message because i know they come from a place of grief and a feeling of helplessness. this genocide has been going on for a long time and it often feels like nobody cares anymore, if they ever did, but somebody feeling grief over another tragedy doesn't diminish what they feel about palestine or what they're doing about it.

i could perform outrage and anguish on social media for you all day but that wouldn't get any of us anywhere. and i'm not saying that you're not allowed to express you anger or even that you shouldn't. i'm saying that i don't personally find it constructive, for me. all it leads to is spirals and traps that just leave me incapacitated and useless. i would rather do something tangible.

and that is different from the grief i feel over this singular event of a popstar passing away. there is nothing tangible i can do about it or even that i would if i could but that doesn't mean i don't have feelings about it, especially because of how close to home it hits, which is really what i was talking about in my post.

so i am sorry that you are in pain. and i'm sorry that it's so overwhelming that you don't feel like it's possible to hold space for anything else at the same time. but i can. and i am choosing to deal with my grief for these two things in different ways because they are very different things.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Survival | Coda

Okay, so, I just read Survival, and. yus. (/pos) All I keep thinking about is what if the Others encounter (their) human Virgil having an anxiety attack or feeling very overwhelmed & panicked? Like...how would they handle that? Would they have help from someone who knows a bit more about humans' nervous system? Would they also kinda freak out because they don't know how to help Virgil calm down? – anon

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: panic attack

Pairings: none

Word Count: 1682

"Roman? Remus, report to Engineering Main Hub." "What did you do," Roman mutters as they leave their stations, eyestalks flicking back and forth, "what didn't you do?" "It wasn't me! I didn't do anything wrong!" "You know that just makes you sound more suspicious, right?" Or, Virgil has a panic attack, and Roman and Remus are called in to help.

"Roman? Remus, report to Engineering Main Hub."

"What did you do," Roman mutters as they leave their stations, eyestalks flicking back and forth, "what didn't you do?"

"It wasn't me! I didn't do anything wrong!"

"You know that just makes you sound more suspicious, right?"

"Look, all I'm saying is that it wasn't my fault that the quantum field generator was out of alignment this morning because I spent four matrons aligning it last shift and when I left, everyone including Lieutenant Alvarez signed off on it saying it was fine, so if it's messed up again, it's not on me!"

"That's a lot of words for 'I don't know what I did this time.'"

Remus shoves him as his mandible chitters and the two of them manage to make it the rest of the way to the reporting station without breaking anything. It's a close thing, but they manage it. The supervising officer looks up and sighs, gesturing toward the ducts.

"You two are close with Human Virgil, aren't you?"

"We're friendly," Roman says, "but I wouldn't say close."

"That's good enough."

"What's happened with Virgil?"

The officer sighs again—that's probably not good. "I don't know exactly what's going on. Medical Officer Patton is over there, he's got a better grasp of humans than the rest of us on staff here, ask him."

"With all due respect," Remus points out, "we're not exactly experts on humans either, I'm not sure we're qualified to—"

"Well, the human's the one asking for you, so when they're in a state where they can talk coherently again, you can ask them."

Three things occur to both of them at rather alarming speeds.

One: Virgil is asking for them specifically.

Two: Virgil is not currently in a state where they can explain why they've asked for the two of them specifically.

Three: Virgil is so much in a state where they cannot speak coherently that a medical officer has been summoned.

"Where are they?"

The officer jabs a tentacle toward the ducts and they're off, dodging other crew members and murmuring apologies for their brusque journey across the floor, mandibles chittering rapidly. Sure enough, by the time they round the corner to reach the stairs leading up to the overlooking platform, they can hear the soft voice of the medical officer murmuring something.

"That's it, you're doing very well. Keep trying to take deep breaths, okay? That will help stabilize the oxygen levels in your body, which will help bring about the end of this."

"I know that—it's just—I can't—I—I—"

"You can. I know it seems hard right now—"

"No shit!"

"Medical Officer Patton?" Remus calls as they reach the top of the stairs. "We were called, is everything…?"

Roman shoves Remus aside as he too makes it to the platform, trying to see what's caused Remus to stop so suddenly. He then slams to a halt when he sees the bright blue of the medical officer's uniform nearly covering a small, curled-up ball of dark fabric that appears to be shuddering. Before he can ask if this is another stage of human development they're unaware of, part of the blob lifts and he lets out a soothing rumble before he realizes it.

Virgil, their human, is curled up so tightly in a little ball that it must be painful, and his face is all red and blotchy and—leaking?

"Virgil?" Remus's voice drops to the low register they use to communicate with fresh hatchlings, crouching down to make his silhouette smaller. "What's going on?"

"You—you came—you actually—actually—"

"Easy," Patton says gently as another horrible noise leaves Virgil's lips, "don't try and speak too much, you'll over stress your system. Here, let me—"

He reaches into the small toolkit on his belt and retrieves a comfort canister. A light hissing fills the air as it decompresses, the blanket within growing larger and larger until he can drape it over Virgil's shaking shoulders. The human lets out another thorax-wrenching noise as he huddles under the soft blue fabric, taking a fistful and bringing it to cover his mouth.

"What's happening?" Roman asks, crouching down too. "How long has this been going on?"

"I was called a few malton units ago," Patton explains, his eyes still on Virgil curled up under the blanket, "about a crew member in distress. He appears to be otherwise uninjured. I believe this is an exacerbated response from his nervous system."

"Is this related to his parasite?"

Patton's head whips around. "Parasite?"

"Not a literal parasite, uh, Roman, help me out—"

"I think he calls it anxiety? It's not actually a parasite, he just described it like that to us once—"

"Ah, yes, anxiety, I'm familiar with the term in humans. Yes, I think this is part of it. It's not uncommon for humans with anxiety to experience periods of time where their systems is overloaded with instincts that are not applicable to their current situation."

"Their system attacks itself?"

"In a manner of speaking. I believe human experts refer to them as 'panic attacks.'"

Roman blinks with both eyestalks. "Well, that sounds…unpleasant."

"No shit," comes Virgil's voice through the blanket, "it's a bitch and a half."

"Do you normally measure inconveniences in female dog lengths?"

"Figure of speech." The rattling breaths haven't stopped yet, and they can hear a few more drops of liquid hit the grating. "Shit."

"How can we help?"

"Protocol suggests surrounding the crew member with those familiar to them," Patton explains, "who may be able to offer comfort and security."

"O-oh."

The human thinks they're…safe? They've not had more than half a dozen conversations and they're nowhere near approaching brood mate status, they've not even seen each other that many times off shift. But Virgil is extremely distressed and if they can help, well, what are they supposed to do, refuse?

"What do we do?"

"Virgil?" Patton rests a hand carefully on the top of the blanket-human pile. "Roman and Remus would like to help. What would you like them to do?"

"Can—can you come closer?"

Both of them skitter along the platform and bracket the pile on either side. Patton removes his hand and shuffles back to give them space. Roman bumps an eyestalk against Remus as Remus lies flat, making it easier for Virgil to see him without having to move his head so much.

"Hi," he chirps, some of his feelers playing gently with the edge of the blanket. "We're right here. You look like a hatchling all curled up in the blanket."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Do you know a lot about how our species nests?"

"No."

"We make these really big colonies that are just devoted to rearing the young. We gather supplies from everywhere we can to make the environment as safe for them as possible."

"Which in Remus's case, means getting rid of all the dangerous things he hoards like a ravenous purple worm."

"Hey!"

"It's true," Roman says, stroking the blanket, "but once that's all done, we get these big bunches of fluff from the canyon lands and make nests out of them, kind of like this. Then we wrap the young in them so their limbs can get used to having ambient pressure and sensation in a safe way before they're big enough to try moving on their own."

"That's why I said you look kind of like a new hatchling, all bundled up."

Virgil sniffles, wiping at his face. "That sounds nice."

"Why are you leaking," Roman asks gently, "is there something we can patch?"

"'M not leaking, 'm just crying."

"Crying is something humans do to cope with overwhelming emotions in their systems," Patton adds quietly when they still look confused, "it helps with the release of extra things that re-stabilizes them."

"Oh. Keep doing it, then."

A watery huff. "I'm not gonna be able to stop anytime soon, don't worry."

"Do you want us to keep talking?"

"Y-yeah. Um, what are the canyon lands like?"

"They're these massive stretches of bare rock that reach from one side of the planet to the other. They're very treacherous for single or even double exploration teams, so we have to go in really big groups to be able to get around them safely." Remus's eyestalks wave back and forth. "There's not a lot of cover out there so we gotta be able to have eyes in all directions."

"It also gets really hot because of that," Roman adds, "so we take turns being at the top of the group."

"What do you mean, 'at the top?'"

"Oh, sorry—we travel in a horde when we go out in groups that big to make it easier on our legs for long distances. The ones at the bottom provide the power to keep the group going, the ones at the top are the eyes for the rest of us, and the ones in the middle provide stability to make sure no one gets left behind."

"That's…cool."

"But it gets really hot at the top so we change positions every so often to keep the group moving and stable."

"I don't get hot as easily as Roman does—"

"Hey!"

"—so I get to spend more time at the top."

"You just hate having to walk for yourself when you don't absolutely have to."

"I'll have you know I'm still the winner of the Marsh Dash for three galactic cycles in a row and you've never gotten in the top 200."

"Yeah, but that's for your pride."

Remus chitters in an affronted way and Virgil makes another little one of those watery laughs. The engine hums around them, just like the thriving colony of a healthy hive.

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[cerastes]

Since you like talking about relationships, I've got one I've been rotating in my head but can't really figure out: Kal'tsit and Muelsyse. They're both extremely long lived and, judging from Mumu's song, it's a major source of pain for her. But their personalities, at least on the face, are so totally different. I imagine they'd take quite a while to figure each other's shit out, since neither seems inclined to speak clearly or trust anyone more than necessary, leading to a dynamic that evolves quite a bit, and for a long time, perhaps to the confusion of less observant peers.

With both being practically the urban fantasy equivalent of long lived archmages with aching hearts, as well as experts on their particular fields, there's quite a few parallels one could make between them and their interactions would be very fascinating indeed!

However, I think you touched upon something that I think is both important and a bit different from how you put it: A main difference between Kal'tsit and Muelsyse is, in fact, that Kal'tsit does allow herself to trust in others, while Muelsyse keeps her cards close to her chest, even among those who she supposedly trusts.

Kal'tsit isn't naive, but she does in fact allow herself to trust others... A whole lot, in fact. She believed and trusted Theresa, and still tries to carry out her goals, she trusts in Amiya, not just because Theresa chose her, but because she really believes she's got what it takes. She trusts Rhodes Island Operators so much that, even though she's a powerhouse herself, she doesn't handle everything that Rhodes Island has going on and even has some Operators she implicitly trusts enough to let them handle some seriously dangerous stuff either under her or by being her extension in other endeavors she can't be there for personally, such as Margaret Nearl and Elysium. Reluctantly, she trusts in Doctor's abilities and temperament, in part out of necessity, in part because love it or hate it, Theresa did trust Doctor quite a lot, and so she'll trust in Theresa's trust.

Muelsyse, on the other hand? Her 'trust' is hugely utilitarian. Her choice of joining up with Rhine Lab was born out of necessity, as she judged that Kirsten and company would be her very best bet to achieve her own goals, but that backstabbing environment doesn't particularly allow one to make good friends or trust anyone too easily. In fact, during Mansfield Break, Muelsyse quite literally couldn't compute why Silence would be helping Anthony (Mountain) without ulterior motives: The fact that Silence would do it first and foremost out of the goodness of her heart was unbelievable to Muelsyse, because it goes against everything she's learned, especially in Rhine Lab. In a way, one could argue this is where she started changing a little, and it brought to mind how Saria was legitimately trying to be there for Ifrit because Saria legitimately holds affection for her, which Muelsyse thought was a load of barnacles before, at least without any sort of further objective or ulterior motive. Hell, Muelsyse's character song is a perfect fit for her: Chipper and energetic, yet, the lyrics are very sad and lonely.

I think a dynamic between Kal'tsit and Muelsyse would fundamentally be very... Curt, initially. All business from Kal'tsit's end, because Muelsyse has yet to earn her trust, all plastic smiles and idle hands from Muelsyse, because unless Kal'tsit can verifiably be of use to her beyond being a bigwig at RI, she doesn't need to know her.

But Kal'tsit grows on you, you know? Doctor's not the only one with those people skills... Perhaps they are at another level altogether, given they can handle even the freakiest freaks and weirdos and wrangle friendship out of them, but to say Kal'tsit isn't formidable in the arena of trust is but a lie. She'd get in, I'm sure. Muelsyse would see someone akin to her in ways other Terrans simply could never achieve, and while they are very different in terms of demeanor... Well, so are Kal'tsit and Closure, and Kal'tsit and Warfarin, two good friends of hers. Kal'tsit can definitely deal with Muelsyse's antics, and I think Muelsyse would enjoy seeing someone so similar to her in so many ways that can also allow herself to trust others. Maybe Kal'tsit could be important in just that: Muelsyse allowing herself to trust more.

[bubble-popping]

day 21 i'm so consistent :) we'll see how long it rly lasts. more cryptid c!dream :D

He decided his best shot, since the thing could fucking teleport, was consulting an expert in the field. "Ranboo, I need your help." The chill of Snowchester was nothing compared to the literal Arctic, especially with his many layers of clothing and furs. The dual-toned ender hybrid stared at him, wide-eyed and speechless for a long moment. "Um. That's... probably the last thing I expected you to say. What, uh, what do you need my help with?"

"I have a pest problem, Ranboo, and I require your specific level of expertise." He explained so eloquently, yet Ranboo seemed even more confused than before.

"Oookay? Um, lead the way, I guess? I don't have anything special to do today, sooo..."

Exactly twenty minutes later, the two were trekking through the snow towards Techno's cozy cottage.

Techno looked over the horizon and smirked. "Perfect. It'll be here soon."

And the way he said that had Ranboo even more on edge, reluctance in his voice when he asked, "Um, what is it?"

"You'll see. It always come out at night," the pinkette said, nonchalant and cryptically terrifying at the same time.

"Oh. Okay."

The feeling of dread only worsened as they sat in Techno's living room in utter silence, not even a crackling fire to quell the awkwardness and tension. However, Techno just looked deep in concentration. His eyes were closed, body leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. He almost looked to be meditating, if not for the serious crease in his brow and stiffness in his muscles.

Ranboo really wanted to ask what the hell was going on, why he of all people had to be here, and how it was possible that The Technoblade needed help with something. Finally, after far too long of suffocating silence, Ranboo opened his mouth to speak-

Only for a sudden smash! to startle them both. Techno sprang to his feet and took Ranboo by the arm, hauling him up as well and pointing a finger to his lips. "Stay quiet. Don't spook it."

Ranboo quickly nodded his head and made no complaints as the clearly unhinged man led him to the basement trapdoor--resolutely ignoring how horrific that truly sounded--since he very much liked the fact that his head was attached to his shoulders.

Techno produced a torch from his inventory, marginally adding to the light of the torch already there. Some feet away, near the back of the room, laid the pieces of a broken glass bottle. As they walked closer to investigate, Techno grabbed his sleeve, halting him in his tracks, then gestured with his torch something off to the side.

Well, someone, actually.

Someone that Ranboo thought he recognized, though he wasn't sure why.

He addressed them, a simple greeting, but in a foreign tongue Techno could never hope to understand.

They jolted, retracting from rummaging in a chest to stare unblinking at the two. Their ears were perked, tail raised, the same pose they usually took just before they vanished.

Except, this time, they broke into a wide grin. They responded, just as indecipherable and not too unlike the guttural sounds of regular endermen, but in what Techno assumed to be an enthusiastic tone.

Ranboo too smiled, pointing to himself before pointing to them. Again, they replied, having lost interest in the chest enough to fully face them.

"So, what's up? What's it sayin'?" Techno interrupted, reminding Ranboo of the whole reason he was brought here in the first place.

"Oh! Right, so, this is a Farlands enderman, Farlander for short. They're super rare, especially so close to the server spawn. I'm not really sure why or how he got here-"

"Ranboo, Ranboo, it's great yer makin' friends and all, but can ya ask why he keeps trespassin' on my property?"

"Uh, I can try? I'm actually pretty bad at speaking Enderian besides the basics. I can understand it perfectly, even though he's got kinda, I guess what you guys would call an 'accent,' but anyway, holding a conversation is a whole different-"

The Farlander spoke again, surprising the duo to see he'd gotten closer.

"Oh, perfect! He understands English!"

"Wow, that's really convenient. Well, what'd he say?"

"He said he really likes honey."

Techno blinked, glancing between the two enders. "What does that have to do with my basement?"

At this, the Farlander took out a glass bottle as if demonstrating something while he explained.

"He saw how mad you got about what he did to the hives so he got the idea to harvest the honey in bottles like he saw you do before," Ranboo translated.

"That's it? Ya just wanted honey? Ya coulda just asked!"

He deadpanned and muttered something.

"You wouldn't have understood him. Plus, he didn't say this, but you'd probably be pretty freaked out if he just appeared one day trying to ask for honey in Enderian."

"I was pretty freaked out when this thief snuck into my basement and started stealin' my stuff! It wasn't about honey then, now was it?"

The Farlander fidgeted with his nails, sheepishly saying something under his breath.

"He was just really hungry and needed food, but he's sorry for scaring you."

"Scared? Of this oversized fluffball? Not a chance, I was merely confused. But nonetheless, I accept yer apology."

He beamed, showing off sharp canines, as his tail wagged behind him.

"Well, seems like you guys have this figured out now, so I'm gonna-"

"Ah-ah, not so fast, Ranboo. I wanna know what this guy's plan is! Are ya just gonna keep stealin' from me?"

The Farlander seemed to have a sad look on his face when he spoke now. Ranboo placed a hand over his heart, clearly touched by what he said.

"He'd gotten separated from his haunt in a blizzard. He tried looking for them, but hasn't found a single trace, so now he's alone trying to fend for himself."

"Yeah, sounds exactly like the kinda tragic backstory a traitor gives ya before stabbin' ya in the back."

"I'm... not gonna try to unpack all that, but it is serious for endermen to stay with their haunts until they're ready to go out on their own."

"I fail to see how's that my problem."

"Dude..."

"Yer the other enderman here! I dunno the first thing about takin' care of-"

Their argument was interrupted by the Farlander abruptly throwing his arms around Techno's shoulders and hugging him. The pinkette scowled at Ranboo's smug expression.

"Looks like he's already made up his mind."

And that was how Techno accidentally acquired a roommate.

[starkandthewaynes]

Ghosts from the past Pt. 7

All the founding members of the Justice League and Dark team were seated around the conference table, with the bats, three young adults, and a toddler. "Batman, what is going on?" Wonder Woman asks as two of the young adults stand up, powering on their presentation. The first slide read: The American government is trying to declare war on ghosts???? Tucker smirks at the clickbait title. "Danny, Jazz, what haven't you told me?" John Constantine asks his niece and nephew. "We're getting there Uncle John." Danny says, crossing his arms. 

Sam nods as she hits a button. "First thing you have to understand, Ghosts, just like people, can be good or bad, and they can reform. They are sentient, they have their own ruling systems of government and laws, and culture. They are a people simply on the other side of the veil." Sam says as pictures are shown of the ghost zone. "Now the Ghost Zone or more widely known by Ghosts as the Infinite Realms is essentially a mirrored dimension to our own, and there are scientists who have punched a whole into this dimension without the citizen's permission. This portal has led to our hometown, Amity Park, being ground zero for the paranormal." Sam says, as the slides continue.  "Now because biased scientists are considered the lead experts in the field of ecto-ology, the united states government has passed laws called the ecto laws and have created their own ghost hunting branch," Tucker says as everyone in the room's stomachs filled with dread. 

"The ectolaws state that any beings that are made of or consume ectoplasm in any form are non-sentient and therefore cannot feel pain, they deem it is acceptable to capture and experiment on the beings from the Infinite Realms." Sam says, as Danny wants to run out of the room. "And they have already done so to the ruling monarch of the Realms." Sam says as Danny stands up, taking a deep breath. "Danny?" Sam asks, as Danny stands up on a chair to be seen by everyone. "My name is Danny Fenton, and the Dr.s Fenton, my adoptive parents, are the scientists Sam talked about. Their portal didn't work, until I hit a button on the inside. It gave me a shock, and I woke up to what the ghosts call a half, half-ghost, half-human." Danny says, his eyes watering, but he looks at JJ. 

"After a year of me being my towns only hero, another ghost awoken the evil ghost king, Pariah Dark, a ghost so feared his real name was erased from our history." He says as Jason nods. "He, he took my town into the Infinite Realms, where I then defeated him in single combat. I became the new Ghost King." Danny whispers, looking down. "And now my friends are getting hurt because I can't protect them, because I was hurt." Danny says, sniffling. "And, and I gotta help them, I wanna help them, they're my friends. "I was captured, and then, the Dr. Fentons cut me and hurt me really badly. And, and after they were done, they handed me over to the GIW, where I was hurt and drained." Danny says, as tears go down his face. "Pawpaw had to rescue me, he had to turn me into a toddler to keep me safe, and then Jazzy took me to Gotham." Danny says, as he wipes his eyes. "I need your help, to help my friends, I don't want what happened to me to happen to them, so pwease help, you're my only hope." He says, as he runs to Jazz's arms, crying even more, so she and Red Hood leave. 

"How did the meta-human protection laws miss this?" Superman asks as Sam sighs. "The GIW built a firewall to keep Amity Park separated from the rest of the world. They captured a ghost of technology to create it. Nothing gets in or out unless you have access to ectoplasm." Tucker explains as Sam is watching the door. "He'll be okay, Sam, it's Danny." Tucker says, as Sam shakes her head. "We don't know if he's stuck like that, Tucker!" Sam shouts as Tucker sighs. "I know that, but getting upset won't help him at all." Tucker says as Sam growls. 

"What do you mean?" Wonder-Woman asks as the two friends nod. "Danny was 14 when everything started. We tried calling you guys, to get help, but we kept getting a busy signal, so Danny took on the role of a hero all on his own." Sam says, her voice telling how much she cares. "We were his backup, but there were so many times where we couldn't help him or we just got in his way. Tucker and I were on our family's vacations when he was taken. and by the time we got back, Danny and Jazz were packing, and Danny was a baby." Sam says, as Tucker holds her shoulders. "He's gotten a little older in just the year they've been here. He looks like a three or four-year-old." Tucker says as Sam shakes her head. "We should've seen the signs." Sam says as Tucker shakes his head. "We couldn't have known." Tucker says as John stands up. "I want you two to hear this and listen well. My nephew and Niece don't want you two beating yourselves up over what's happened. You're here now, you're doing your best to help. And as far as his age is concerned, I've had a chat with Chronos about it, the spell will eventually dissipate as Danny gets safer and safer. He's already 6 or 8 since finding Hood and the bats." John says as the two young adults look hopeful. Thank the Ancients. 

@blacksea21090 | @ashenfairytale | @pastalavistamf | @runoverghost | @emergentpanda-blog | @bobred18 | @blankliferain

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[sepublic]

Metroid and F-Zero GP

So un-ironically I'd really like the F-Zero GP anime to cross over with a Metroid show; Specifically, let’s make it canon and even a recurring element within the series.

Because it takes place in space, in the future, there's a Galactic Federation, Captain Falcon is a bounty hunter. And the way I'd incorporate it would be as seamless and natural as I could; Like these are just new characters, the same way Rundas or Sylux would be. The fact that they're F-Zero is not made loud and apparent, not that I'm ever against those types of crossovers... But it'd be a fun writing exercise to try merging these stories organically, even making crossover elements and individual episodes relevant to Samus' character arc.

So there's a couple of F-Zero elements that might show up here or there, a reference to the races. There's an episode where Samus has to face off against yet another bounty hunter, this one being expert marksman Pico, whose fighting style revolves around his perfect aim, and eludes her due to his distant nature as a sniper. Dark Million shows up and maybe it’s the criminal organization that disastrously hired Kanden for the Metroid. And eventually...

Well, I'd discussed the idea of Samus going to Earth, the Earthians' ancestral homeworld, after the events of the Fusion arc. It's her way of reconnecting with her Earthian side, with the ancestry of Rodney and Virginia, after focusing so much on Chozo affairs. In a way it's Samus re-exploring her identity after becoming part-Metroid, who she is as a person, all that stuff; And it sets her up to occasionally question her Chozo heritage, who they raised her to be, which transitions nicely into the Dread arc and the Mawkin representing the worst of the Chozo.

But before that, Samus is interested in tracing her Earthian genealogy and all that. Considering the kind of life and community she might've had if the Space Pirates never attacked K-2L. I'd love for Anthony Higgs to be present here, but his standing in the Federation would make it really awkward for him, so I'm not sure how it'd work out; I'm working on the idea of Samus getting pardoned thanks to Adam helping her leak the BSL corruption, which leads to public outcry defending Samus, as a callback to Fusion's ending monologue about people who understand. Even so, Samus is still on uneasy terms with the Federation, so I dunno if Anthony could make it.

We get an episode or two about Samus awkwardly trying to be Earthian and it not exactly working out? Is she just a tourist here? She has an existential conversation with Adam, who is also possibly struggling with the fact that he's no longer human, but a machine. So like Samus he's rediscovering himself too, and maybe Malkovich had a life and/or ancestry on Earth he left behind...

Eventually, this segues into the next storyline; Samus decides to visit Mute City, a popular site for tourists and immigrants alike. In F-Zero GP continuity (which differs from the games), Mute City is just a renamed New York City, meaning most of the action takes place on Earth. Samus crosses paths with Captain Falcon, a fellow bounty hunter like herself. She also witnesses the F-Zero races, questioning how they're even legal; This could tie into Samus questioning everything she's believed in regarding the Galactic Federation. Are these death races, performed for the entertainment of the upper classes, just further proof that Sylux was right???

This also gets me to another thing; I'm interested in Joey Apronika, from the Samus and Joey manga. I'd also like to adapt that, with various story arcs spread out across the Metroid show; It's not done all in one sitting, Joey is a recurring character. And being human, he could maybe show up alongside Samus, as she explores reconnecting with her 'human' side and understanding just what she's made up of now.

Joey wields the Field Knuckle, which is basically a tech gauntlet that allows him to generate protective barriers around his fist, himself and others, etc. This comes in handy for just punching enemies really, REALLY hard. And this reminds me of the Falcon Punch...

F-Zero GP follows its own take on the classic roster, with Captain Falcon's true identity being Andy Summer, not Douglas J. Falcon. However, it's also established that the title of Captain Falcon is a mantle, passed down from mentor to apprentice; Andy is not the first, so it's possible, if not implied, that his predecessor and/or the original Falcon was Douglas. The anime ends with Andy sacrificing his life to defeat Black Shadow, and the main character Ryu Suzaku becomes the new Captain Falcon.

Yeah, did I mention? F-Zero GP follows a similar premise to the Samus and Joey manga, in that we have a plucky young rookie, who is mentored by the mysterious face of the franchise. Interesting! The F-Zero GP even ends with a "To be continued...?" tagline.

Now, with Ryu as the new Captain Falcon, shouldn't he have his own successor considered, just as the show up until then was him and the previous Captain Falcon going on the occasional adventure together? Enter Clank Hughes, a young, tech-savvy boy who has a visor he can scan things with...

In the epilogue, Clank is a grown-up young man, and explicitly named as Ryu's successor; He will eventually become Captain Falcon. In the meantime, he learns from Suzaku, who fits quite nicely into his new outfit and identity.

Clank Hughes bears a decent resemblance to Joey Apronika... Joey fights similarly to Captain Falcon... Clank has his own scan visor, not unlike Samus Aran. Thus, I've considered two different options for how I want to approach the mantle of Captain Falcon in a Metroid show:

The first is to follow up directly where F-Zero GP ended, with Ryu as Captain Falcon, albeit more muscled and chiseled now. Him and Samus have some bonding moments and parallels; They both have young apprentices who look quite similar to one another! They both carry on where their friend(s) have died, and are quite lonely and out of their world;

See, Ryu Suzaku is not from this century; He's from the 21st century. This was back when Earth had yet to make contact with the Galactic Federation; He used to be a regular police officer and racer, but when he got into a car chase with escaped convict Zoda, Ryu was badly injured. It left him in a coma so severe, that doctors gave up and decided to put him into cryogenic sleep, and wait for the time when medical tech had advanced to heal him fully.

This would happen 150 years later; Ryu gets revived and makes a full recovery thanks to Doctor Stewart, and is a man out of his time. The only people from his time are his fiancee, who also went through the same treatment... And Zoda, who also got the same treatment.

Point is: There's a lot of people that Ryu left behind! And while this concept does make me consider a 'Frozen generation' of others who also waited things out cryogenically... It's still not a lot to work off of. So for Ryu, he's trying to reconnect with his lost past, and Samus is trying to explore one aspect of her ancestry. These are difficult things to bond over, as is them not being able to relate to a lot of people over their experiences.

Likewise, as Samus worries about destroying everything she touches (wait until she unlocks her Metroid DNA and that happens literally!), she's concerned about possibly hurting Joey, and Captain Falcon is someone who can listen and understand. He even calls back to when Clank was a young boy, just like Joey himself!

As for Clank himself, he knows he's got big shoes to fill in; He bonds with Joey over their mentors, although Clank has known his for much longer, and is tbh closer to him. Still, he gives Joey much-needed reassurance as an older brother figure. Captain Falcon helps Joey master his Field Knuckle, imparting the technique of the Falcon Punch; Its nature in Metroid might be technology, secret martial arts, a mix of magic and pseudo-medical science, IDK. Ghosts canonically exist in Metroid, as do telepaths.

Clank's scan visor compliments Samus' quite nicely, and the arc comes to a close with Clank, who has been considering how HIS successor will be, realizing Joey is a pretty good candidate! Joey's too young and Clank isn't Captain Falcon yet, but there's setup for his own future to look forward to... Captain Falcon, Clank, and a couple other F-Zero characters also return every now and then, depending on how long the show keeps going after the Dread arc's conclusion.

That's Plan A... For Plan B;

Clank Hughes is already Captain Falcon. Samus sees a fellow bounty hunter who also has a scan visor incorporated into his helmet. Cap helps Joey master his Field Knuckle in ways even his father, whom he inherited it from, didn't; Captain Falcon and Samus both bond over mentoring this young and impressionable kid, it makes Samus feel a lot less scared and lonely handling Joey. And Captain Falcon sees a lot of his younger self in Joey.

Eventually, Falcon elaborates on his backstory; His true name is Clank Hughes. He is not the first Captain Falcon, just another in a lineage. His predecessor was Ryu Suzaku, who gave his life to protect innocents... Cue a flashback to the first Metroid Crisis; Space Pirates have deployed some Metroids on the F-Zero Grand Prix, because they're petty like that.

Clank is present racing alongside Captain Falcon. It's a pretty tense scenario, civilians are being attacked by Metroids, some of the racers find their vehicles being drained by the vampires, which leads to crashes. The Blue Falcon gets attacked by Metroids and is damaged; Captain Falcon can't get the cockpit to open, he's trapped inside...

They're on a racetrack atypical of the usual ones; A ring contained within a stadium, built on the premise of high-speed circular racing. With the speed that racers go, they can heat up the track really fast. To make up for this, beneath the stadium is a giant cooling reactor to keep the racetrack from melting... How does Captain Falcon know of the Metroid weakness to cold? This could be after the first wave of attacks, when the Galactic Federation has already posted PSAs about this vulnerability.

Falcon messages Clank, explaining the emergency eject has been disabled; There's no getting himself out of this situation. But for everyone else...

In some really expert maneuvering, he drives the Blue Falcon into the Metroids, letting them cling onto his vehicle and start draining it. He even bumps into other racers, the speed and force tearing off the Metroids, who then choose the Blue Falcon instead. Hell maybe he even drives onto the abandoned seats to lure the Metroids away from the audience.

With all of the creatures latched onto his vehicle and its power draining fast, Falcon makes a final send-off message to Clank, declaring him the new Captain Falcon. The entire scene is in blatant, shot-for-shot homage to the previous Falcon's heroic sacrifice, down to an instrumental version of the song that plays; Captain Falcon activates the boosters, ramming through doors and into an underground track leading to the cooling reactor.

Captain Falcon rams the Blue Falcon into the center of the cooling reactor, freezing the outside, as well as the Metroids latched on. His helmet flies off, revealing an older Ryu Suzaku, who charges up a Falcon Punch that he rams right into his console; The force is so great it causes the Blue Falcon to explode, shattering the frozen Metroids. We get a final shot of Ryu smiling in his heroic sacrifice, just like Andy Summer, before disappearing in the explosion.

The detonation leads to a chain reaction within the cooling reactor; This causes all of the ice to funnel upwards and through the racetrack above, leading to some very pretty snowflakes falling around the stadium. Clank Hughes mourns Captain Falcon, and vows to fulfill his role, just as Cap did the previous one before him!

Cut back to the present; Earlier, Hughes had expressed admiration to Samus for ending the Metroid Crisis. You can see he really, REALLY means it. He imparts his own advice to Samus about keeping the hearts of your friends alive, and their sacrifices not in vain, and he knows what it's like to lose multiple father figures; Samus takes that into consideration (and it sets up Samus having to deal later with a 'father figure' she takes great shame in). Samus and Captain Falcon's friendship is furthered, since he basically takes joint custody with her over Joey, and realizes Joey has the shapings to become a Captain Falcon himself!

The training won't begin, not yet; But it's an invitation for Joey to consider. And it's something for Samus to look forward to; Joey doesn't have to follow in her lonely footsteps. But with Captain Falcon, he's got a lot of friends and confidence and charisma... Adam reminds Samus not to be so dismissive of herself though. Who knows?

(One of my main reasons for hesitation with Ryu being posthumous and Hughes having already taken his position, comes from me... Honestly not wanting to crush the hearts of fans who grew attached to Ryu, and really wanted to see him be Captain Falcon. Granted a badass heroic sacrifice helps to assuage that disappointment but still. And also yeah I kinda DO want to see Ryu as Falcon, myself!!!)

As a side note: There's also a storyline about Rockets, a racer from Samus and Joey, competing in the F-Zero. He's an antagonist, hoping to use the prize money to help fund his boss Greed's operations and all that. Jody Summer is also present, and things could get complicated given she's a member of the Galactic Federation, which has VERY tense feelings towards Samus because of the BSL incident; She probably leans towards sympathizer, but it's still awkward. And at some point Captain Falcon has to clarify she's the sister of a previous Falcon, so Jody's family to him too.

[nerdynanny]

PHANTOM FALLS

An AU cooked up by @sonxflight / @plxsmius and I cooked up. This post is for reference and I guess if folks want to join in they can? We don't own this concept, but here are some fun headcanons/canons for this AU. Ours has a scooch of Samurai Jack tied into it.

Stanford, Jack, Maddie, and Vlad all went to college together. Ford goes to the University of Wisconsin on a scholarship and rooms with Vlad and Jack. They're the nerds of the school, and often play Dungeons, Dungeons & More Dungeons [with Vlad and Ford swapping DM roles].

A transfer student Ryou [aka 'Jack'] takes the last space as their roommate and joins them in being well known nerds on campus. Ryou majors in medicine while Jack, Vlad, Maddie and Ford all major in paranormal studies. Ford eventually broadens his horizon, obtaining two additional PhD degrees. He'd eventually add nine more to fill out the full twelve he'll have in his 60s.

The portal incident happens-- but Ford is inspired by the Jacks to sneak into the hospital that Vlad is being kept in-- to liberate him. He also spells out how horribly that their botched experiment could've scarred him-- making it clear to Jack that he fucked up.

In order to break in, Ford contacts his brother-- an expert at getting into places where he's not wanted. The two are extremely abrasive with each other, but Stan agrees to help out of the challenge to break into the hospital.

The group gears up, and with Stan taking the lead-- they go and break Vlad out from under government watch. Vlad was holed up by well suited agents, and told none of his friends had came to visit. He's still struggling with his identity-- and confides in Ford about his half-ghost status.

Ford agrees to help him find a cure while he goes to work on his PhD-- moving to Gravity Falls to study the paranomal and strange. He pioneers the field of cryptozoology and weirdology. Ryou moves in as his partner and he eventually brings on Fiddleford as his assistant for his experiments.

Ryou spends a lot of time away-- though Ford doesn't mind. He's met a being from another dimension-- his Muse.

Jack and Maddie settle down, but keep in contact with Vlad, Ford, and Ryou. Eventually Ford goes silent, resulting in his friends becoming concerned. When they finally manage to get to Gravity Falls, they find Stan living in Ford's place.

He claims there had been an accident, that he'd lost two fingers and a lot of his memories. Ryou recognizes Stan. But he helps the man cover for the sake of helping. He figured Stan had a good reason to pretend to be his brother-- and learns the truth of the accident.

The two of them work tirelessly for the next twenty years. During which time Jack and Maddie had children, who were teenagers by the time Mabel and Dipper came to visit their Grunkle for the summer.

Eventually Stan and Ryou-- funded by Vlad [as a silent partner] fix the portal. Thirty years have passed for Ford-- and he's not keen on seeing his brother stole his life. But it seems they have bigger worries.

Bill has spent time trying to gain access to the Ghost Zone, and thus-- the real world. His Weirdmageddon poses a far larger threat.

[dsudis]

For the ask meme, how about P (Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).)

Ahhh man that is so much pressure! Inventing a whole new AU!

Okay, this is almost certainly not a new AU concept but! One I do not see enough of!

Your blorbos are a Gate Team out of Stargate Command. You get to decide which ones are military or civilians or aliens, what their specialties are, and which one keeps dying and being resurrected, and they go have weird hijinks on alien planets that all look pretty much like the outskirts of Vancouver, featuring populations of humans transplanted by ancient alien/gods!

So for instance if I was gonna do a Sandman Stargate AU

(I'm not!)

Hob is the anti-Dr. Jackson--he seems to die on a very regular basis but he's never actually dead. If you think he got killed on an alien planet you need to go back and look for him again because he will be there! Not at all dead!

Dream is some sort of civilian expert--an anthropologist specializing in common narratives and the way stories show relationships between societies--who somehow got recruited from the UK and displays a constant vague distaste for all the military everything and all the violence right up until the chips are really down and then he reveals himself to be terrifyingly badass actually

(he just dies the once.)

In season 3 it's revealed that Dream's younger brother was a mililtary member of a Gate team who disappeared under hushed-up circumstances and that's actually why Dream got himself into the program, to find out what happened to him--and it turns out he went AWOL voluntarily and is living very happily on an alien planet somewhere, but a lot of people get killed in the string of missions that lead to them finding that out, and he refuses to come back and relocates to a different planet as soon as they're gone so he can never be found again)

In the pilot episode Matthew's there as a military intelligence type guy on their gate team--the obligatory American to Hob and Dream and Jo's Brits--and then he gets killed but Dream figures out how to use a weird alien artifact to save him, except he gets transferred into an alien bird's body instead of it fixing his own body

Jo is British Army, from a long line of family members who have died in military service, usually doing something really weird and secret

her dad was on an early gate team, maybe even the first one--the one from the movie, that went to Abydos and fought Ra and thought that that was the only destination the gate could go to. He was killed there, and Jo wasn't told what really happened to him, but she knew it was something other than what they told her--and she was vindicated when she was recruited into the Stargate program by somebody who was with him on that last mission.

(Her dad was also an asshole, this is not like a touching vindication of him as a hero, he was a complete dick and a terrible dad and probably would have been an even worse one if he hadn't died, but that didn't mean Jo wasn't going to find out the truth and follow in his footsteps.)

Episodes 2-5 include a tragicomic subplot about Matthew's plight as a dead human and live alien bird and whether he's allowed to still be on the team or is just going to be a mascot in the SGC, and meanwhile a new charming blond American guy is temporarily assigned to Hob and Dream and Jo's team, and it's when Corin reveals he's an alien plant and tries to murder Dream that you first see Dream really turn on his badassery

after that they get young Lt. Rose Walker as their obligatory American for the rest of the series. Matthew is also on the team but they prefer to field four people who can all do stuff requiring thumbs.

See! Easy peasy! Go forth and write Stargate AUs for your favorite fandoms and characters!

Haha no I am not writing this what are you talking about

[whotookmysenbon]

You've mentioned wisteria and deathcaps so far, so I'm guessing you're more a fan of plant-based toxins than animal- and metal-based ones like what Suna uses. Do you have a favorite to work with?

Ohohoh. Finally, a good fucking ask. Yes! I use mostly plant and fungus based poisons rather than metallic animal sourced poisons. This is for a variety of reasons. I'll break it down by type. (Editing note, throwing this under a read more cut because I got carried away and wrote an essay. Ino says it's rude to clog people's feeds with unwanted ridiculously long posts.)

Metallic poisons.

These are rare in Konoha because of the elements needed to make these poisons. Suna uses them occasionally but mostly it's Iwa and Kumo that are known for their metallic poisons. I don't use them because they're almost impossible for a cloak and dagger assassin like myself to use reliably. I'd be better off just dumping a bucket of acid on someone. They take weeks or even months to show symptoms, but once it's there you aren't stopping it. Metallic poisoning is almost always a 100% fatality. Lead, Chromium, Arsenic, those are all used in infiltration assassinations. The long plan, make it look like an accident type. Although, there was a case in Suna a while back about the Kazekage's brother nearly being taken out by a fast acting Mercury based poison, so I guess there are exceptions. You have to be careful with that though, because it is impossible to build up a resistance to metallic poisons. There is no antidote, no cure other than ripping the poison from the body via either extreme dilution or a prodigiously skilled medical nin.

Animal sourced poisons and venoms

These actually used to be Konoha's calling card, in the second shinobi war. Our huge centipedes are still used for venom occasionally when we want to make an example out of someone and make it clear Konoha did this. There's a problem with them though. The lesser problem is most animal venoms and poisons, while extremely fast acting, are curable with an antivenom or antidote. Still, with how fast they work it's pretty easy to circumvent that. It's not like puff-adder or water cobra antivenoms are included in field kits. No, the real reason this is far more rarely used is because the last real animal sourced poisons expert was Orochimaru. He used poison in everything in the second shinobi war and it kinda became one of his signatures. Then he passed the mantle of venom specialist onto Anko (who still technically holds that title to this day but rarely uses it) and retired to work on his ninjutsu and medical studies and we alllllll know how that ended up. Long story short, venoms and animal based poisons like from frogs and whatnot are far, far more heavily regulated because of how Orochimaru used them (which is stupid, a weapon is a weapon, it bears no hold on the wielder) and a pain to get ahold of unless a mission specifically requests it. So despite Konoha's surplus of venomous giant insects and tree snakes and home to the whole poisonous insect division with the Aburame, we tend to shy away from those stuff. (Except in war time, in which anything goes and if the only thing I have to tip my senbon in is rubbing them on the backs of whatever brightly colored frog I find, I'm gonna use it.)

Plant based poisons:

My specialty! Plant and fungal poisons are many, and easy to misdiagnose. Really fucking easy. Oh you have a fever and some stomach pain? You think you have a cold SIKE IT WAS SHROOMS AND YOUR FUCKIN DEAD-

And! With the forest of death and Lord First's leftover chakra absolutely everywhere, Konoha is great for growing poisonous plants. I personally prefer hemlock and nightshade because they get the job done fairly quickly, and are easy to slip into food. But when I get to have a little more fun with the target... Datura is hilarious, especially when mixed with wisteria. Because what's more fun than killing some asshole in cold blood, when you can make that same asshole wander in circles for three hours screeching at hallucinations and shitting himself and then choking on his own blood. Anyways. There's my little expose. Oh! Chakra poisons are also a thing, but nobody knows what the fuck they are or how to counter them really. Mostly the Aburame are familiar with them and hate them because it kills their freaky bugs.

[chaos0pikachu]

Hi Pika, I don't know if you've been following gmmtv's take over of wabi sabi, I just want to ask you: given that so many companies are part of TBLC which is like a Thai BL content association, do you have any idea why gmmtv isn't a part of it? BOC, DMD, Star Hunter, Copy A Bangkok, Channel 3 are all part of it, I'm just wondering why gmmtv isn't even thought it's the biggest bl company? Wabi Sabi was/is a part of it. (idk exactly)

I can't emphasize enough that I am NOT an expert on this snaps lmao so anything I say that isn't like a direct link to an article or further reading source is speculation on my part. You're a sweetheart Anon but I just wanna let you know that like if you wanna know about the American publishing or entertainment industry but I don't wanna present myself as like ~an expert~ when my ass ain't ya know?

So my short answer is fuck if I know lol I hadn't even heard of the TBLC till this ask

For folks interested in it, here's the livestream they hosted for it (it's 45ish minutes) and it doesn't have subs though. But it seems to be connected to Thailand's soft power committee, here's an article on that:

Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin, who chairs the committee, tasked deputy chairwoman Paetongtarn Shinawatra with leading two national initiatives: One Family One Soft Power (OFOS) and the Thailand Creative Content Agency (THACCA). The goal of the initiatives is skills training to create 20 million jobs that will generate annual income of 4 trillion baht. OFOS and THACCA will be implemented in three phases: First, to boost human resources, 20 million children, adults, and seniors in under village and community funds will get free training in fields such as food, Muay Thai, arts, performance, singing, design, fashion, e-sports, and more, free of charge.

For folks who may not know, soft power is a term coined by political scientist Joseph S. Nye Jr. in his article Soft Power published by Foreign Policy magazine.

"In the 1980s, political scientist Joseph Nye Jr. coined the term soft power, defining it as a country’s ability to influence others without resorting to coercive pressure. In practice, that process entails countries projecting their values, ideals, and culture across borders to foster goodwill and strengthen partnerships." (source)

Soft power is a form of governmental influence internationally, and works conjunction with "hard power".

Examples of "soft power" are the American space program, athletes performing at the Olympics, and on the media side, military propaganda films like Captain Marvel, (yes I consider Captain Marvel a military propaganda film the film opens with a freaking air force ad lmao).

You see other countries using similar tactics as well, for every Top Gun there's China's Wolf Warrior 2 or Hidden Blade. For South Korea, BTS and k-pop is most definitely used as a source of soft power. This is just something governments do.

Okay so like, gmmtv and BL we've been hearing for a minute now that BL and GL are part of the Thai governments plans for soft power.

Mile and Apo have spoken about this specifically when promoting Man Suang and here's a recent video of them working in conjunction with the government on Shine:

(source)

Even Mew's talked about Thailand's soft power in interviews before (context, Mew was the first Thai musician to break into the American Billboard charts):

(source)

It's not just BL either, Idol Factory's Freen and Becky of The Gap fame got in on this too:

So like, it sounds like this meeting/committee in general is just an extension of the Thai governments plans for expanding their soft power which includes how to better support this now highly in demand industry (BL/GL shows) b/c the government sees its international value.

I can only assume that like, gmmtv feels it doesn't need~ government support as a production company? They're the biggest BL studio in the game and have an annoying stranglehold on territories like America and Latin America already. It doesn't really matter what the quality of the shows even are, gmmtv have that sweet parasocial grip on audiences.

[my forever frustrations with gmmtv and how they sell idols and parasocial relationships not BL/GL shows is a totally different post so lemme stop]

Other companies don't really have that same hold on international audiences. At least not consistently? And the biggest concern is funding.

I think anyone with eyeballs can see Kinnporsche is the best well produced BL that's come out of Thailand (argue with the wall) in terms of overall technical quality. But that level of quality is expensive, the CGI in The Sign is freaking expensive, The Next Prince's pilot is so obviously pricey as all fuck you can tell the studio is banking on it selling.

Which is why studios like Idol Factory, Domandi or BOC only come out with a one or two shows a year in comparison to gmmtv's like 16. They need funding, not just for filming the show but also marketing. Filmmaking is hella expensive.

[I'm not talking about whether y'all liked this show or that show, I'm talking about technical quality, shows like Kinnporsche, The Sign, Pit Babe are all better on a technical level than stuff like 1000 Stars, Only Friends or Cooking Crush.]

Why didn't gmmtv attend the event or participate, baby I legit do not know. I can't answer that with any sort of certainty only their execs could answer that, I can only guess.

And my best guess is b/c the company feels confident they're fine on their own. They don't need funding assistance, nor assistance reaching an international market (tho maybe some assistance in getting their contracts straight hope Ossan's Love doesn't face the same distribution issues as Cherry Magic lmao).

For more information on the event itself I really liked this post on reddit that I felt broke everything down very well.

Anyway sorry this got so long Anon but I hope it at least provided some interesting information!

[eskawrites]

top 5 memorable ronance fic scenes?

okay i really really love this bc there are so many scenes that live rent free in my head, i'm so excited. these are in no particular order btw half of them just popped into my head at once

5) from entirely on purpose and according to plan by @dufrau this lil moment:

"It, uh," Robin tried. "It sounds like you've given this some thought." "I give everything a lot of thought," Nancy said. "The timing is right. You said it yourself, it's a summer for harebrained schemes. How about this one: fall in love with me." "That's, um," Robin started. For once she, was way ahead of Nancy. Done and dusted. She had tears in her eyes but Nancy wasn't looking at her. "I'm open to that. That sounds like a good plan. That's... I want that."

idk man i teared up and i had to put my phone down when i first read this. it's just the perfect dialogue to me, it sums up both their characters and everything that happened to get them to this moment (and everything that's going to happen now that they're here) in one cute, tidy little moment. wtf

4) the ending of chapter 4 in like a damaged nerve, like a dark bird by @monstrous-femme

“So you can only change small things?” How horrible, Nancy thinks, to live in a world where nothing of substance can be fixed. Where the same terrible things are doomed to repeat themselves, over and over without end. This, of course, leads to a round of bickering from the boys that leaves no room for other thoughts. “Small things can matter,” she hears Will say, before being drowned out by the others.

in a fic with such a haunting atmosphere this just stuck out as the most haunting thing not because it's eerie or inspires dread or whatever, but because it's such a quiet, crucial moment of hope. 10/10 chapter close

3) the coming out scene in girl that's a friend by ratgirl110 on AO3, which tbh is basically the whole fic. it's so poignant and messy and i love that you can feel the magnetism between nancy and robin as much as you can feel all the trauma and the fear of the future that hangs like a knife over their heads (this is true of both fics in the series, i love them so much)

2) it's too long for an excerpt but the scene in chapter 8 of monster of the week by @freezeveganpolice where nancy and robin and max get drunk and share trauma (oh, not-sober depression bonding should've been on my favorite tropes list)

1) the kiss scene! from Robin Buckley's Expert Field Guide to Catching Fireflies (and Other Childhood Favourites) by @smileweakandwrong !

i'm not gonna put the specific paragraph i'm thinking of because if you haven't read it you should, the payoff is incredible. but it felt so so magical, like a freaking fairy tale the way everything ties together in the end

[palfriendpatine66]

Deleted Scene - Criminal Minds

Ok @imjusttoofunky @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart Instead of a snippet for the next chapter of Criminal Minds, how about a scene/some letters that have been left on the editing room floor? These 100% happened, they're just not making it into the story. [catch up on chapters 1&2 of Criminal Minds here]

* Anakin stopped by the post office just off campus, not expecting to find anything in the little box he rented but unable to tamp down the flutter of nerves in his stomach all the same. It had been over two weeks since he had set up the PO Box - he wasn’t going to just let a convicted killer know exactly where to find him, he wasn’t stupid - and mailed out his letter.

He figured it would take two days to get there, maybe three. Then maybe a couple days for it to actually get delivered within the jail, not that he knew how any of that would work. And then a couple of days to get back. That should have been about a week, he thought. But a week came and went and he’d gotten no response. Then two. Each day that passed Anakin felt just a little more on edge.

Why wouldn’t Kenobi write back? What else did he possibly have to do all day? Was Anakin supposed to just pretend he hadn’t put himself out there only to be rejected once again? This time by someone who didn’t even have any other options?

He glared at the post office key as he shoved it into the box, as though it was to blame for the continued silence.

Silence.

He was surrounded by silence everywhere he went. No one would talk to him during class. He didn't have hangouts with friends, not anymore. Really he didn't have friends any longer at all. No more dates with his beautiful angel. No written correspondence from his intriguing inmate of choice.

All he had were averted eyes when he approached. Official university letters with notices of probation. Automated messages stating the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected: please try again or hang up. An empty fucking post office box.

And his own thoughts, of course, alternating between simmering anger at everyone who had left him alone and the bitter voice that reminded him it was all his fault.

Anakin did a double take when he noticed there was a letter waiting for him. He grabbed it with shaking hands and turned it over, almost unable to believe it was real. It was marked as processed through the state penitentiary; his finger traced over the official seal.

Anakin slammed the little door closed and went straight to his favorite spot on campus - a little nook tucked behind an abstract statue on an out of the way path. No one could see him from the other side, but with his back against the cool stone the world was quiet and he had a private view of the little garden, blooming with color no matter the time of year. It reminded him of the window box planter his mother had carefully tended, attempting to infuse some color and life into their dreary, run down apartment.

It was only when settled in his spot and sheltered from the rest of the campus around him that he took a steadying breath and allowed his trembling fingers to tear open the letter.

Dear Ani, I suppose I should be flattered that you consider me an expert on the inner workings of the mind, but as you noted yourself it is only the mark of a good reporter to understand people and their motivations, what makes them “tick” if you will. These things you could learn from someone much more qualified than myself. You might look into an elective course in psychology.

I note that it isn’t my actual area of expertise in which you are interested (journalism, of course). That is an area in which I found some success, before the unfortunate events that lead to my arrest and my current address in the state penitentiary. I might add that investigation and gathering information is a skill which is highly useful in the field of journalism, should you harbor any future interest. I can’t say my name currently carries any positive weight to put in a recommendation on your behalf, but I am still knowledgeable in the field and am sure I could offer you some advice, should you wish.

I cannot recommend a stay in prison; the comforts are few and far between. I couldn’t tell you my opinions on other institutions that I have not yet experienced, such as marriage. Perhaps it is you who should tell me about that particular institution. That is one area in which it seems you may be more experienced than myself. I don’t believe holy matrimony is an experience I will find, even if I somehow make it past these walls one day. Options are limited for a man branded by society with a scarlet letter.

I am sorry to hear of your troubles in your relationships. I wonder what it is you expect to find in me, a middle aged man isolated from society for nearly half his life. I cannot say I have had the opportunity to practice my social skills while I serve out my sentence, the population here less then friendly, and before all this I was more the type to keep to myself. I wonder if you might be better served communing with individuals in your own age and circumstance. Join a book club or a student group. Learn a new skill. Maybe pick up an instrument; guitar is a good choice. That was very popular among some in my own college days, to set up and play in the quad for whoever is drawn in by your song. Make yourself approachable and they come to you.

Whatever it is that truly drew you to put pen to paper, I thank you for bringing a change of pace to my rather monotonous day. Perhaps one day you will share what it is that moved you to seek me out, among so many.

Sincerely, Obi-Wan Kenobi

*

Ani’s letter had given Obi-Wan new food for thought, for which he was thankful. There were only so many times he could participate in the same conversations, read the same books, and watch the same movies. Everything happened at the same time every day, and rarely did the people changed. It was nice to have something new to turn over in his mind as he did in the days after penning his own reply.

He couldn’t say he loved the idea of some young and impressionable person getting the wrong idea from a made for TV special with poorly done dramatic reenactments and more speculation than fact and then seeking him out in some kind of misplaced hero worship. But at the same time, how much could it really hurt to indulge someone lonely and searching for connection? He’d probably be asked to share a couple of prison “fun facts” and answer a few questions about crime scenes he’d reported on many years ago. Neither was particularly scintillating nor taxing.

And in exchange he’d get a break from the monotony. Something new to puzzle over and occupy his thoughts. There was much to think about when it came to Ani. So many possibilities. The next letter didn’t disappoint.

Obi-Wan

I feel honored that you recognize my investigatory skills. I have other skills I could impress you with as well if given the chance. I’m really good with technology. Probably in ways you couldn’t even imagine, there’s been a lot of advances since you’ve been on the inside.

I am too far into my major to take any classes in psychology. All the credits I have left are in advanced and applied maths. I don’t know if I will be able to finish my degree, I’m on academic probation. It’s so stupid, because I know more than everyone here already. I’ve had to correct the textbook that the professor wrote. Multiple times.

They don’t appreciate that, by the way. You’d think it would be something they want to know, right? But they aren’t interested in the knowledge and learning and all of that. They really just want the power and authority of their position. They like being the expert. And they really don’t like when some student can challenge that.

But they won't let me pass if I don’t attend class. The “grace period” I was extended after my mom died is up, and apparently their calendars told them it’s time to show up to class and “accept responsibilities” or “face the consequences.” They don’t really care. I could have aced all the finals on the first day. In my sleep. It’s just a waste of everybody’s time.

What do you do with all your time? You have a lot of it to fill up. I can’t imagine you get to play the guitar. How do you keep busy? Did you start a prison newspaper? I can’t imagine the guards would like that any. Do they give you problems, the guards? Do you like, have a roommate or a friend on the inside after all this time? It sucks to be alone. I hope you aren't too lonely.

Ani.

Hours later Obi-Wan was still thinking through the letter, his thoughts so distant he could almost forget where he was, feeling almost as though he was taking a leisurely stroll through the park in the hopes that a change in scenery would provide a spark of inspiration when writer’s block hit and he was pushing up against a deadline. 

He shook his head as he walked the perimeter of the yard.

Ani, Ani, Ani. A disaster waiting to happen.

Feeling isolated, alone. Desperate for connection. Eager to please, eager to learn. Very confident in his own abilities. Slighted when they weren’t recognized by others.

A prime candidate to be pulled into a cult, Obi-Wan mused. He stopped in a patch of sunlight, turning his face up to the warmth. It was only a matter of time before Ani fell under someone’s influence.

There was no knowing whose it might be. It could even be someone setting a worse example than his own.

He smirked to himself, with no one to share in the irony. Doubtful, but possible.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

What are the WPATH files, and what do they expose? | Leak uncovers 'national trans health scandal'

Andrew Doyle: The ideological march through the medical institutions has been rapid and unexpected. In recent years we have seen leading pediatric specialists asserting the children who say they are in the wrong body must have their feelings immediately affirmed. We've been told that if a boy claims to be a girl, or vice versa, they must be believed and fast-tracked onto a pathway to medicalization. First, puberty blockers, then cross-sex hormones, and in some cases, irreversible surgery.

This is known as the gender affirmative model, and while its advocates claim that it is evidence-based, its critics say it is pure pseudoscience, and that we're permitting widespread medical experiments on this generation of children.

And now, messages and recorded video conferences from an internal chat system at WPATH, the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, have been leaked. WPATH is the leading authority on gender medicine in the world, with considerable influence throughout the anglosphere and here in the UK via the NHS.

These leaked materials have revealed something that many of us suspected all along. That leading medical practitioners in the field of gender pediatric healtcare are all too aware that many of these procedures are experimental. And, most significantly, that they have been proceeding with irreversible surgery on patients who cannot possibly give informed consent. Either because they're too young or that they suffer from some psychological disorder.

The WPATH Files were leaked to journalist Michael Shellenberger at the Environmental Progress think-tank, and have been presented and analyzed in a comprehensive report by journalist Mia Hughes. It is called "The WPATH Files: Pseudoscientific Surgical and Hormonal Experiments on Children, Adolescents, and Vulnerable Adults."

So, are we dealing with the medical scandal of the century? Tonight, I'm going to be talking to a range of experts to take a deep dive into the WPATH Files and explore precisely what they reveal about the ideological capture of the medical profession.

Now, I should say that some of the subjects discussed in tonight's show will be very disturbing and viewer discretion is advised.

So, let's begin. We're going to talk to the two journalists most responsible for bringing the leaks to our attention, Michael Shellenberger and Mia Hughes. And Michael, I want to start with you. How did these leaks come about?

Michael Shellenberger: Sure, well first, thanks for having us, Andrew. Really appreciate your coverage of this.

So, a source or sources provided me with these internal files. As you mentioned, there's a video and then there's also a number of written messages from a internal messaging board. And what they show is quite shocking. It's discussions of doing potential surgeries and drugs for children including ages 10, 13, developmental delayed people with diagnosed as schizophrenic, developmental disorders, identity disorders. We also see the people within WPATH, meaning the people inside what's called "gender affirming medicine" explicitly recognizing that neither the children nor the parents understand the consequences of these procedures, which include lifelong sterilization and loss of sexual function.

So, this is extremely serious. This is up there with past medical scandals in without question in my view. I think the response to this that we've seen across the board has been real shock and horror and that it is going to result in some kind of a reaction from governments.

Doyle: Now, Mia, I want to bring you in here. It's an extremely long report that you've written, but perhaps you might want to tell us about some of the key findings.

Mia Hughs: I would say, I'll give you some individual cases, but some of the key findings, the main finding for me was that you can see from these conversations that this is not a medical group. This is not a scientific group. This is a group that is engaged in political activism. So, somebody will show up in the forum and they will, they'll have a really difficult case and they're really concerned. Let's say it's the 13-year-old developmental delayed child who is on puberty blockers. And they don't know whether this child will ever reach the stage that they can consent to cross-sex hormones. And then along comes a corpus of people encouraging medicalization, encouraging the hormones, dismissing the caution, dismissing the doubts.

We've got cases of teenagers with liver tumors, vaginal atrophy, uterine atrophy from the testosterone. We've got males experiencing erections that feel like broken glass. We've got very seriously mentally unwell people being discussed. And again, there's no caution. They always encourage the hormones and the surgeries.

Doyle: Okay, well let's have a quick look at some of the leaked video recording. So, this one is about whether children can consent to treatment.

Um, I think the thing you have to remember about kids is that we're often explaining these sorts of things to people who haven't even had biology in high school yet. And I know I've heard others in this kind of a, in this kind of a setting say, well we think adults are like really slick biologically. In fact, lots of people have very little medical understanding of stuff like, that we just, medical professionals and mental health professionals, take for granted. But I don't know still what to do for the 14-year-olds. The parents have it on their minds, but the 14-year-old you just... it's like talking with diabetic complications with a 14-y old. They don't care. They're not going to die. They're going to live forever, right. So, I think when we're doing informed consent, I know that that's still a big lacuna.

Doyle: Okay, he mentioned informed consent there. So, let's consider what the parents might have to say. Let's have a look at this clip.

I try to, kind of, do whatever I can to help them understand best they best I can, but what really disturbs me is when the parents can't tell me what they need to know about a medical intervention that, apparently they signed off for.

Doyle: So, Michael I want to ask you about that one clinician there saying that, you know, a lot of these kids they haven't even got biology at high school level. So, the clinicians are aware as you say that they can't get informed consent in this situation. Am I right about that?

Shellenberger: Yeah, that's very clear from those clips that you showed and also from the larger video. It's, I believe, it's an almost an hour and a half long Zoom video and we released it in its entirety. They know that they're not getting informed consent, so they are acknowledging that they themselves and their colleagues are in direct violation of standard medical ethics. Ethic of informed consent is right up there with "do no harm."

And I would just point out it's also just such an interesting look into the power of ideology that at no point in that conversation did they say, yeah there's this lacuna. We can't figure out how to solve this problem, the fact that 14-year-olds don't understand what they're getting into with lifelong sterility and potential loss of sexual function. At no point do they then say, you know we probably really shouldn't be doing these procedures on anybody under the age of 18 or maybe 21, because the brain as we know is still growing after you're 18, you're still developing your forebrain. I think of how I was when I was 19 and 20.

So, I mean, I just think it's such a shocking case. I think there's been a rush by some people online to sort of call these people evil and to use all sorts of names. I mean, what you're struck by is that they're so obsessed with this idea that gender is this sort of, you know, real thing and that it really has to be affirmed and that there's no other way to do it. I mean it's as simple as basically saying that gender medicine is their only hammer, and that makes them see everything that comes to them as a nail to be hammered. And that includes things like, you know, various eating disorders, anxiety disorders, things that are clearly -- there's other things going on that's quite obvious and they're just mistreating them.

Doyle: So, Mia, just finally I want to ask you about a recent piece of investigative journalism in Quebec that showed just how dangerous WPATH's affirmative approach to gender medicine can be. Could you tell us, you know about this, you've written about this. The 14 year-old girl who was given hormones after a 17-minute appointment.

Hughes: That's right, I got that wrong actually. It turns out that she was given hormones after just 9 minutes. So, this is, it was a CBC, the French version of the CBC, they sent an actress in posing as a 14-year-old girl. She said that she had come across the idea of trans online and that she had an eating disorder. And within 9 minutes, this clinician had approved her for testosterone. Her parents weren't there, she didn't have parental consent. And when the journalist asked them about why they had done, that they said, I was just following WPATH. And in the WPATH standards of care, they pointed out, you need to do a comprehensive psychosocial assessment. And the clinician said, well I did, it's not duration it's the quality of the assessment.

So, in the wrong hands, such as this clinician, WPATH standards of care and this affirmative model can mean that you end up with 14-year-old girl getting testosterone after 9 minutes.

Doyle: Well, there's a lot to think about there. Michael Shellenberger and Mia Hughes, thanks so much for joining me tonight.

I'd like to emphasize that the leaked recordings and messages represent the views and remarks of certain members of WPATH, but they are not speaking in the capacity as spokespeople for the organization as a whole. And in addition, it is likely that WPATH itself would dispute the interpretation of these leaked conversations that had been made by the author of The WPATH Files and the associates. Now, we have of course reached out to WPATH and invited them to appear on the show, but they have declined.

--

Full episode [1hr 24m]: