#And he's like “Nooooo! Of course not!”

[5sospenguinqueen]

Raw. Next Question | Toto Wolff x Wife! Reader

Summary: No thoughts. Just a wife publically thirsting over her husband, and him not really understanding it.

Warnings: unhinged sexual comments. pregnancy

Requested: Yes by anon

F1 Masterlist

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mercedesamgf1 just posted

liked by georgerussell63, kimi.antonelli and others

mercedesamgf1 the boss man hard at work 

22,634 comments

user1 the most handsome team principal 

user2 my biggest hear me out, i fear

→ user3 but this man is objectively hot. we’d all drop our panties for him liked by yn_wolff

georgerussell63 the GOAT 

→ kimi.antonelli i thought i was meant to be the gen z??

yn_wolff that man in glasses hits in a different way. palpitations in a different kind of place, you know what i mean

→ user4 see, she gets it

→ user4 wait, hang on, it’s mrs wolff who gets it?

→ yn_wolff of course i do. i married him for a reason, ladies

→ georgerussell63 stop rubbing it in

mercedesamgf1 just posted

liked by jv.f1, valterribottas and others

mercedesamgf1 is there anything better than a smiling toto? how about a celebratory toto? 

26,443 comments

georgerussell63 our favourite team principal livery 

yn_wolff hey siri, how to lick champagne from a man’s stomach

→ user5 i love this woman so much

→ user6 toto wolff pulled a bad bitch 

→ mercedesamgf1 @/yn_wolff please stop making us read these things

→ yn_wolff stop looking then

→ mercedesamgf1 you know we’re responsible for your pr

→ yn_wolff if my husband wasn’t so bangable, i’d be asking for a divorce because of you lot

→ totowolff what does this mean, liebling? 

user7 i am (s)creaming  liked by yn_wolff

user8 call me niagara falls  liked by yn_wolff

user9 hottest team principal in f1 history  liked by georgerussell63

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totowolff just posted

liked by zbrownceo, christianhorner and others

totowolff summer break means time with you 

18,457 comments

jv.f1 a very lovely couple

fredvasseur the man is ruining these photos 

georgerussell63 please take your wife’s phone off her 

→ kimi.antonelli i second this 

→ user10 maybe if you two stayed offline then you wouldn’t have to see them 

user11 sigh. when’s it my time to have a toto wolff

user12 he rarely posts and when he does, it’s the sweetest thing about his wife

→ user13 that’s what we call a real man

→ user14 and he only ever replies to her

yn_wolff those arms look 10x better when they’re wrapped around me

→ totowolff mein schatz, this is not our private messages?

→ user15 i love how confused he is by technology 

→ user16 i love how confused he is by his wife’s thirsty comments

yn_wolff just posted

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt and others

yn_wolff my favourite view will always be you ❤️ happy anniversary, my love

27,440 comments

yn_wolff woof woof 

→ mercedesamgf1 we see you 

→ yn_wolff i meant wolff, wolff. silly autocorrect 

→ user1 but why would you say it twice??

→ yn_wolff ‘cause there’s two of us??

user2 mr wolff, i was not familiar

totowolff ich liebe dich

→ yn_wolff i love your dick

→ user3 i saw that deleted comment 

→ user4 !! 

user5 i bet his back looks so much better covered in yn’s marks liked by yn_wolff liked by totowolff

user6 i don’t want to be toto or yn. i want to be in the middle of them both

user7 i’d let mr and mrs wolff walk me like a dog

user8 i love how yn is now getting more interaction on her posts than merc or toto because we all love her behaviour 

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mercedesamgf1 just posted

liked by georgerussell63, peterbonnington and others

mercedesamgf1 pr refresher for the first lady of mercedes

23,983 comments

georgerussell63 finally. 

→ user9 you were liking more thirsty tweets/comments than his wife

→ yn_wolff read him! 

user10 nooooo free our lady 

user11 the only reason your posts have had so much interaction is because we love thirsty yn

kimi.antonelli but now what can we tease the boss about?

→ notchristianhorner having a losing team

user12 but now who will fuel my maladaptive daydreams about toto wolff

user13 no more spank bank material :( 

totowolff just posted

liked by mercedesamgf1, christianhorner and others

totowolff we are very excited to announce baby wolff is on the way 

33,161 comments

yn_wolff 💕💕

→ georgerussell63 this is calm for you? did the pr work?

→ user14 fell to my knees in walmart 

fredvasseur my condolences to yn 

user15 all of that thirsting led to somewhere

user16 baby brain is the reason she forgot all her pr training 

user17 she wasn’t kidding when she liked “raw. next question”

→ yn_wolff no she wasn't. liked by totowolff

→ mercedesamgf1 giving us the best news ever is not an excuse for you both to forget your pr training

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Requests open

Turns out when F1 goes on a break, so do I 😬 Sorry for how late this is

tag list

@peachiicherries @rosecentury @c-losur3 @heavy-vettel @evie-119 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @lilorose25 @sillyfreakfanparty @justaf1girl @piastri-fvx

[z0n1x]

OK MEOWRTHER FUCKER WHERE DOING THIS WHERE MAKING THIS HAPPEN

aka my favorite moments and notes on the new hc:bc: “[S] 8r8k.” done right after i watched it because I AM GOING TO IMPOLDE I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

MEGA FUCKING SPOILER WARNING! OBVIOUSLY!

(ignore how this is in windows media player i needed to slow it down a bit)

ok first frame up we got 3 preexisting scenes to ground us

with the calliroxy + john panel im not exactly sure why that little stain is there but probably just some like texturing idk id be surprised if it was relevent

sollux. soooollllluuuux >:[ this is a pretty funny gag though itll come back later

awwww little fork and knife dude! someonell probably think of a clever punny name for them so im not gonna bother right now

also it could just be the way the lighting affects colors here but that sort of looks like lime more than jade or olive to me. it seems too yellow to be jade but too light to be olive

would be cool if it was but i doubt it

with afformentioned knife and fork dude and swiffer and cliper and now this dude we seem to be getting a lot of greenish blooded background trolls

is that…. THE PINK KILOMETERS !!!! :0 lol

clear parallel to hic here

ok seriously what the hell is that?????? i wouldnt say its thief of life shit cuz then it’d probably be light blue but if were going by colors this would be a fuchsia blood thing?? i need to fucking know pleeeeease <<;;

neeeeever mind seems to be a thief of life thing though i would’ve thought stealing someones life to give to others wouldve been more of a rogue of lifes thing? whatever its still cool

cool ass shot

he still fucking uses those????????

those lil wrist things vaguely remind me of the signless’s handcuff association but these are a different kind i think so eh

ahhhh i get it ;3 its a bloodpusher

SHES GONNA FUCKING GET ME SCRAM!!! 0_0 (lol)

has (vriska) always wore knee high converse? if not thats a funny thing to add

NOOOOO DAVEPETA DONT EXPLODE YOURE TOO AWESOME D:

LMAOOOOO THE TROLLS FACE WHY IS HE SO D:,

ahhh partners in D:,-hood

GET EM GIRL WOOOOO!!!! KILL EM! yiffy 4 the win

indeed tavvy, indeed 0_0

im imagining him saying “GET DOWN TAVVY” in the same cadence one would say get down mr president

can someone with the genesis project put that code in to see what it has (first ones a 4)

(i love this little fourth wall addon with tavvy youth rolling across the scenes)

LMAO THE LITTLE EYE POP OUT also uncle? is this vrissy’s or yiffy’s? considering jade had it im going with yiffy

think about him next time you have boba….. smh

come on tavvy hit a corner cooome on (i like the video shaking here)

OH NY GOD ITS A JOHN METEOR PANEL FUCK DAMMIT

they are drawn so cute here in a panel so hard to pause on with 0.25 speed on T_T yiffy here is pfp gold

holy shit? of course they pull out the fucking painting for something that stupid. it’s beautiful

aw shit hopenado time

:0 godtier revives are always so pretty

IS THAT FUCKING BEC BLANC??????

(yes i think thats a good pun)

some one tag the gun identification guy we need to figure out what gun vriska is using on (vriska)

:o he’s actually controlling the hopey shit!!!!!

part 2 cuz the image limit:

[honesttoglob]

I feel like Steve and Frances would be friends. Just like,,,, buds. Pals. They meet to play chess out in Central Park every weekend and Steve wins most of the time but it's only because he eats Frances' pieces when she isn't looking and she's way too high to keep track of his strategy.

[rennelelorren]

It will never be not annoying how people in this fandom give Inuzuka whole concept to Hatake.

There's little to no info about Hatake clan, but like even looking at the clan symbol it looks like a peace of land. Also, Kakashi name mean "Scarecrow", even this hints on his clan origin.

They're farmers.

Probably, the reason why there's only two of shinobi with this clan last name is because Sakumo decided to ditch clan's origin of a farmer and become a shinobi instead. He's special like that.

[braisedhoney]

I formally request a Dan Phantom, if that's okay!

a formal request begets a formal answer

(guess i’m doing these in a more consistent style now!)

[moeblob]

I'm just minding my own gosh darn business when I see a discord status of "Goodbye Vincent" and now hold on what happened to my son (someone else's OC). Apparently a lot happened to my son. :c He almost died.

[mychlapci]

hello everyone 🔞

me and my friend oftentimes talk about tfp ratchet. and by "talk" i mean engage in direct sexual harassment. anyways, i made grandpa squirt

[randlemartin]

genuinely so funny that basically all of the second platoon bitches who were mean to web in tlp were in first platoon with him…liebgott ramirez and babe hated seeing his ass coming they thought they escaped

[witchinatree]

making a list of my favorite quote/ones that stuck with me from each season 1 episode because i feel like it

(i'm starting this after episode 4 but it will be a WHILE before i post it)

episode 1: "bones are a lie peddled by Big Milk" - alice

i love this one because it's a great introduction to alice i think. also it radiates spiral so i hope we get avatar alice not dead alice (isnt there a podcast called alice isnt dead?)

episode 2: "If I wanted to clear the canvas, I would have used turpentine." - statement

this one was just fucking powerful and caught me so off guard like 😶

episode 3: "What would I do without her?" - statement

the norris statement <3 it feels like martin asking what he would do without jon which makes mag200 a lot sadder and i love them

episode 4: "Perhaps you shall prove a stronger will than I, and will yet find it within yourself to destroy this hungry thing of wood and cat-gut." - statement

augustus sighting #1 and we immediately get jonah magnus expressing that it may be possible for gwen bouchard unknown family member to overcome the eye's hunger spooky violin

episode 5: "Voyeur needs to be seen to be believed." - statement

i feel like this one is pretty reflective of how the seasons gonna go? like if you explain the events of tma (mag200 specifically) no one's gonna believe you, it must be seen to be believed!! and also seen!! like the eye!!!

episode 6: "Not sca- This isn’t some poxy blood test, some little pinprick, this is hundreds, thousands of razor sharp points pushing into your flesh." - needles

i love needles so much and i thought this was really funny because it was like "you dont find me scary!! what the fuck!!!" just kind of toddler michael energy

episode 7: "It’s not like we’re wrestling with tape recorders and manila folders." - celia

STOP IT. celia you can't say that you just cannot!!!!!! you Know™ too much maam i cant with you

episode 8: "Pleasure to meet you both. I’m Gerry!"

RAGHHHHH OH MY GOD GERRY!!!! i love him so much and idk how to handle him being alive in the tmagp universe!! gertrude too but idk we got so much of her in tma and not nearly enough of gerry

episode 9: "And honestly, it’s kind of compelling by this point." - sam

they got him 😔😔 the horrors got sam 😔😔 also i found this to be an interesting contrast to jon's heavy resistance in season 1 like he was being compelled but he wasn't going to let anyone know that vs sam "its kinda compelling to trauma dump on this paperwork :]" how is he somehow even more victim material

episode 10: "Gosh you’re sexy, here’s a twenty for your trouble.” - alice

does this count as a quote if shes also quoting what she thinks sam should say? idk anyway i love her i would say that to her if given the chance and it was very silly. i will not be addressing bonzo i am scared.

episode 11: "...Thank you, Alice" - gwen

dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard. okay also, the way she CRUMBLED at the idea of anyone doing anything nice for her please someone give her a hug and let it be ME. this series is tossing me back and forth between sam & alice (what is their ship name) and dyhard but this put me back to dyhard

episode 12: "You know it's rude to have absolutely no game?" - alice

she's so fucking funny i need her to be okay so badly!!!! i don't think even tim made me laugh as much as she makes me chuckle and this one really got me. it's hard to write such a comedic character in a podcast since you only have the voice but they really nailed it i adore her

episode 13: "Is it my fault?" - gwen

each of these episodes just reveal a little bit more about how loving and soft gwen is and idk i love her so unbelievably much so seeing that she felt guilt about the bonzo stuff just made her so much more real :(

episode 14: "Christ, they’re in the walls…" - statement

theyre in the walls!!! theyre in the goddamn walls!!!!! anyway that got me because i realized the hole before the statement said it. made more sad than scared tbh

episode 15: "Babies are cool!" - alice this entire interaction between her and sam & celia was so awkward, she is so obvious and i love her anyway

episode 16: "It’s not like I was holding doors open for Mr Bonzo or anything." - gwen my wife is so so so stupid but i adore her AND this gives room for character development. i wish she did not do that though. i love when characters are flawed and have depth but i struggled to get past THIS flaw of hers

episode 17: "Thanks, I guess. Not exactly the same, though, is it?" - celia shes talking TO JON IN THE COMPUTER. SHE KNOWS. i lost my damn mind i love her i love her. get the gay people out of the puter please queen

episode 18: "Why would I need to talk to you? Your work is satisfactory. Unless you have a work-related issue I could assist you with?" - lena solidified my opinion that lena is the best boss to ever have, i adore her and i would want to work for her if she wasn't the boss of Creepy Establishment #1

episode 19: "You’re going to throw it in the fishtank, aren’t you?" - alice colin's behavior is like really worrying BUT i'm glad he's back. i was not convinced he was still alive

episode 20: "I suppose it’s too late for remorse, isn’t it? And why should I be sorry? This is what I deserve!" - ink5oul/statement they reminded me of jon a lot, like especially his season 3/4 transformation when he doesn't quite know everything but he knows he isn't who he was in season 1 anymore, i hope we see more of their life and they can be helped :(

episode 21: [Tape Recorder Bites Ink5oul] - audio description i know it's not technically a quote but this is just so fucking funny. why does it have teeth. what does this mean for the lore. holy shit.

episode 22: "Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood" - celia. knawing at the walls of my enclosure i am so not okay. i'm not okay. wtf. wtf. wtf. they're real. wtf.

episode 23: "I had a favorite mug. It said “love you, bitch” and had a picture of a drunk dog on it." - alice. okay i just love this entire interaction because gwen got to open up a little bit and my dyhard heart is so full

episode 24: "I am told that children like me, and I’ve always held the opinion that the world would be a better place if everyone just thought more." - basira. once again this whole interaction was so fun but like idk i loved hearing basira somewhat happy and in a safe place :] my wife <3

episode 25: " I am trying to help, to save us from this goddamned fucking nightmare machine!" - colin. MAN I REALLY WAS ROOTING FOR YOU!!! I WAS SO CONFIDENT YOU WEREN'T GONNA DIE!!!! it's over

episode 26: "I was worrying for a moment that you were Magnussing." - alice. MAGNUSSING BEING CANON MADE ME SAY IT EVEN MORE I'VE SAID IT LIKE TWICE ALREADY

episode 27: "You didn’t tell me the room was labelled, “Archivist.”" - celia. oooooh somebody's got TRAUMAAAAA LMAO

episode 28: "So you’re telling me you know nothing about an OIAR external contract being found with the bodies of two tattooed thugs who met rather grisly ends?" - TREVOR HERBERT???? anyway. ink5oul mention!!!!! i hope they stop killing people it's really rude

episode 29: "Alice, er… we’ve got to talk. It’s important." - teddy. i knew it was over for him but i didn't think it was gonna be THIS bad??? bye babe i guess??? 😭

episode 30: how do i even pick. the whole fucking episode. i can't. i am in a state of shock. i need to lay down for 30 years.

[gaslightgirlsummer]

okay catboy

[hauntingblue]

Oden is winning the bad bitch competition jesus

[writersstareoutwindows]

im truly so wildly protective of Annabelle McAlistair. I saw someone compare her to a friendzoned dudebro exactly once in the Discord and never emotionally recovered from the astronomically shallow depths of that take. truly a duck paddling in an ocean and calling it a puddle.

[gaylittleguys]

I wouldn’t put it past Ocelot for all of his hypnotism stuff to just be completely made up

[procksecutor]

🎤 [ From: here ] [ I sure as hell ain't gonna miss the chance for Klavi to belt out something potentially embarrassing around Shuuji u vu ]

@kodapi

Catch him singing!!

Klavier had his head rested against the table, fingers drumming against it as his earbuds were tucked neatly into his ears, any other sound nullifying. He looked...At peace, strangely. Maybe it was the focus, or maybe it was the unusual beats he had made blaring into his ears. His fingers against wood were a testament to that melody, feeling the vibrations of the taps against his face.

"Preventing an overflow of chromatic perception,

A choice is to be made-

To maintain the golden ratio - this disorder is unnatural."

Three consecutive taps, as if repeating the unnatural part as natural. After all - natural has three syllables - na-tu-ral. He has to map that out to get the beat steadied and weaved perfectly.

Then, as if a surge of energy came to him (or rather, Drama King here is getting to - quote unquote - the good part of the song) he sat up straight so he could make his voice more dominating - loud. More Klavier, and yet it sounded just as dull as prior, no doubt intentionally. A crude mix, even. And to time himself, he hit the table. Which must have hurt, because he didn't move his hand!

"The grapes that grow on vines-

A crystal that is so polished and smooth!

This pure World Order is an achromatic encore!

Go high and conquer!

Just wait- an' wait and cease that chaotic treachery!"

And after finishing that obvious chorus, he gave a heavy exhale, slumping in the chair as he leaned back against it. He shook his head, feeling the air against his scalp. He soon pulled his phone out as he adjusted his hair drill, pausing the instrumental before tugging his earbuds out. He glanced critically at his phone, as if acknowledging something is amiss.

Not with being unknowingly caught in his musical daze - but with the instrumental, of course.

[xviruserrorx]

I really do hate when I know I'm right about something and no one listens to me

[wow-thisismylifeiguess]

AU where Bruce isn’t Batman and the ‘Brucie’ persona is mostly real, but he’s also not an idiot and well aware that his kids are vigilantes

Bruce, “I just wish Dickie chose a better costume than that. I mean, look at him! He’s like a traffic light.”

Alfred, “I believe it’s a similar outfit to one his mother designed for him when he was younger.”

Bruce, “….nevermind, I take it back. He’s my beautiful baby boy and his outfit choices are definitely not atrocious.”

—

Bruce, “Jay…mind explaining the bruises on your wrists?”

Jason, “Oh…yunno how it is.”

Bruce, stares

Bruce, “If your partner is hurting you-”

Jason, “NO, it’s nothing like that! I promise, it was….consensual?”

Bruce, “Is that a question or statement, kiddo?”

Jason, “Statement.”

Jason, later, grumbling to Dick, “Sometimes I feel like he’s onto us…”

Dick, “No way. We cover our tracks super well. You just need to come up with better excuses for your bruises. I mean, BDSM? You?”

Bruce, upstairs, listening through a bug he planted, “Dumbasses.”

—

Bruce, “Why is the Drake child in my home?”

Jason, “He’s a friend.”

Dick, “I think you’re choking him a little, B.”

Bruce, who has Tim in a bear hug, “Am I choking you, buddy?”

Tim, muffled, “Not at all.”

—

Bruce, “TALIA! YOU’RE HERE! Why are you here.”

Damian, “Why am I here?”

Talia, “We have a son. Here. Take care of him.”

Damian, “I will not stay w a man like…like him.”

Bruce, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Damian, “You’re pathetically human and weak. I have nothing to learn here, Mother.”

Talia, “He’s beaten me before.”

Damian, “What?”

Dick, “What?”

Jason, “What?”

Bruce, smiling dreamily, “Such good memories.”

—

The kids find out he knew everything from the start when Dick has to pick up a drunk Bruce from a party. They arrive back at the Manor and Bruce won’t stop clinging to Dick.

Bruce, “Noooooooo! Don’t leave me! Don’t put on that ugly costume!”

Dick, “W-what?”

Bruce, sniffles, “It’s better than the Robin one, but come on, chum. You can do so much better than that.”

Dick, “You…know?”

Bruce, still crying, “Of course I knew! Good at covering your tracks my ass!”

Dick, “Do you know everything?”

Bruce, wiping his face because his vision is blurring and there’s two Dicks standing in front of him. Fuck, he’s dizzy, “Jason’s outfit is better. Tim’s is atrocious. But at least you gave Dami pants.”

Dick, “BRUCE!?”

Bruce, “Nooooo, don’t yell. My head hurts.”

—

Sitting in what Bruce has decided to call the Bat Cave because, helloooo, the bats?

Dick, "How long have you known?"

Bruce, "Oh, you know."

Jason, "From the beginning???"

Bruce, "I'm not stupid. Alfred, why does everyone think I'm stupid? My own kids think I'm stupid."

Tim, "Mr Wayne-"

Bruce, stares at him

Tim, "....Bruce. We don't think you're stupid. We just thought we were being...sneaky."

Damian, "Hmph. All of you lack training in stealth. Unlike me."

Bruce, "Dickie, how am I supposed to not know when I adopted a child acrobat and 'oh, look! a pint sized vigilante who can do flips off of buildings!'"

Jason, snorts, "Pint sized."

Bruce, "Jaylad, you started using guns a week after I signed you up for a firearms class."

Tim, tries very hard to hide a laugh

Bruce, "Timmy, your bedroom is covered in pictures of Gotham you'd only get from being on top of buildings."

Damian, scoffs

Bruce, "Dami, you trained as an assassin. Of fucking course you're a vigilante."

The kids, "....fuck. We suck at this."

Bruce, waves his hands in the air, "Don't worry about it. You're all bad at covering for yourselves, but me and Alfred handled it. Anyone who might've even got an inkling of who you might be have been...dealt with."

Jason, "Did you kill them?!"

Bruce, "What? No. Of course not. Right, Alfie?"

Alfred, "....of course not."