#And haven't for weeks at this point
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Seeing as I'm not going to ever write it now due to Recent Events, I've decided to babble on here about this terrible idea I had for a big, elaborate comedy/crack fic. If I had been able to pull it off, I would have wanted to post it on either Halloween or April Fools Day because it's very much supposed to be dumb. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!
Keeping with my inability to come up with good titles, it was tentatively called ''Who Killed Tony Khan? A Hookhausen Mystery!''. At a company party where most of the AEW roster are gathered, Tony's giving a speech where he makes a mean joke about Danhausen, who decides to curse him. Tony then promptly dies on the spot, so now everyone thinks Danhausen is a murderer, no matter how much he insists the curse wasn't supposed to do that. He swears he's innocent. But no one's convinced. Other than Hook, that is. Naturally, Hook wants to clear the name of the man he loves so he and Danhausen have to team up once again, put on their detective hats and try to figure out what really happened to their boss and who's the true culprit. So the whole fic would have been a goofy romp with these two looking for clues, interrogating their co-workers and slowly piecing together the mystery. Obviously, it's not gonna happen now - I probably wouldn't have written it anyway because I'm nowhere near talented or smart enough to write a compelling mystery, but given the Stuff That's Happened recently, the whole inciting incident to that story now seems a lot less goofy and a lot more...distasteful. Plus, the dumb joke I was going to make at the end as a way to Deus Ex Machina the conflict away wouldn't work at all now (if you're curious, DM me about it, but fair warning, it's probably not funny to anyone other than me. And it's outdated now, anyway.)
Also...there were gonna be so many cocaine jokes in this fic. Like, enough that you could have made a drinking game out of it...
The thing is though...I still really want to write some kind of Hookhausen mystery fic! I don't know why but I really like the idea of Hook getting dragged into a situation so out of his element (like solving a fucking murder case - not exactly something in his usual wheelhouse) but willingly throwing himself into it because he just has to clear Danhausen's name. Why, yes, Acts of Service is one of my love languages, how did you know? So the more extreme examples of that, the better!
Hell, maybe I go even more out there and make it some kind of Film Noir AU. Hook as this young but still hard-boiled private eye, roped into some strange criminal plot with a heavy supernatural twist, thanks to Actual Demon Danhausen. I don't know, I just love dumb stuff like that, feels like it could be fun to play around with *shrugs*
#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write#You know the drill folks - more of me rambling on and on and on about the weird fic ideas that I'll never write#You have been warned#And boy did I go off on this one JEEZ LOUIZE!#Whenever I make posts like this I always imagine myself as a crazy old person rocking back and forth in my chair#Ranting and raving to the empty squalid home around me as if there was someone actually listening#Which...honestly that's exactly what I'm doing here...yikes.#I shouldn't be thinking about ideas like this seeing as I literally can't write anything right now#And haven't for weeks at this point#But sometimes my autistic brain just latches onto something stupid and will not let go#So yeah Film Noir Hookhausen Supernatural Murder Mystery AU what a fucking embarrassment I am LOL
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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calling it right now that season 3 starts like this
#so confused about people saying the season finale feels like the end because to me it didn't at all#there's like 5-10 issues immediately set up for another season#they're in a happy place at this point because they've both realized their love is bigger than anything else#and makes it worth working on their problems together#the problems are still very much there#both of them have deep self esteem/self loathing issues that haven't been resolved in the week since ed woke up#ed doesn't know about stede's trauma#they haven't talked through anything#and they'll be shit at starting/running an inn lmao it's not gonna go well#and those are just some of the internal issues#then there's prince ricky and all the authorities that would very much like to get their hands on both blackbeard and stede bonnet#because stede just full-on kept using his government name after faking his death. nice one#the crew are not “gone” they're more like off to college for a bit but will probably run into trouble immediately#again because while they escaped to the ship they didn't eliminate the threat (the british empire)#it's not a forever goodbye#ok this got super long already anyway i have a whole fic marinading in my brain until i've finished these 4 wips i'm in the middle of ✌️#hope we get a renewal soon because i want to see the rest of their story!!#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd s2#ofmd#our flag means death
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VAMPIRE APPRECIATION WEEK 2024 | day 3: favorite vampire fashion/style
Louis de Pointe du Lac + Lestat de Lioncourt + Claudia (AMC's Interview with the Vampire)
#iwtv#iwtvedit#interview with the vampire#vamp appreciation week 2024#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#claudia iwtv#this was supposed to be posted yesterday#i wanted to do more but i simply don't have the time 🥲#also only two season 2!claudia because i haven't watched season 2 yet but i didn't want to leave her out#mine#my gifs#vampweek2024
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if no danlou then wth is this all about, huh? jk, unless…
#he really said 🤨 lmao what is that face#interview with the vampire#vampterview#danlou#iwtv#tdl#iwtv spoilers#i'm not coloring it. what's the point we're seeing it in good quality later this week anyway#haven't even finished rewatching the 4th ep yet 😭#cw smoking#came from work and no one has made this?#*gif#vampchives
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Ghost after meeting Soap.
Price : Have you slept?
Ghost : Depends what day it is
Price : Go to bed.
#cod mw2#simon ghost riley#captain john price#implied ghostsoap#implied soapghost#ghost is a catboy by the way#Soap is more complicated because he's a cat person and doesn't like dogs but also he's very dogboy leaning personality wise#dad price for the win even if he's only old enough to be big brother price; he's 50 spiritually according to his 'kids'#price would be like 'ok do you want to talk about it?'#and ghost would look at him like 'what do you mean “talk about it” what happened to bottle it up like normal people?'#“i'll just forget all about it” ghost tells himself#and then soap is bumping into him in the corridor and smiling up at him with the power of the fucking sun and wow ghost is in love fuck#i was supposed to draw something for valentine's day but my brain was all no : funny scene first but now it's 9:30 am and i haven't slept#maybe expect something for valentine's day at some point - probably not today tho but like at some point this week maybe ?
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GGY WEEK DAY 1 - SCARS
"It's not your fault..." If those words could only take away the scars in his heart.
@ggyweek2024
#fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf security breach#gregory fnaf#dr. rabbit#fnaf ggy#vanessa fnaf#blood cw#my art#idk if i'm completely happy w/ how this turned out but#at this point i scrapped like 2 different versions of this sooo#i really wanted to do smthn for GGY week#i haven't drawn my boy in a good while :(
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things that are Too Much: both times lancelot dies, the last face he sees is merlin's, and the last thing he does is smile.
#bbc merlin#merlin#lancelot#merlin x lancelot#mercelot#lancelot du lac#the darkest hour#4x02#4x09#parallels#text: merlin#my text#no i still haven't made it to 4x09 in my rewatch bc i don't know HOW i could possibly do that to myself again#especially when lancelot's death has been hitting me harder the last few weeks than it ever did in all the years since i first#watched the show#but i /have/ watched the ending funeral scene#and cried#a lot#i could cry just seeing gifs of that scene#heck at this point merely /thinking/ of it might be enough
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in todays "it's probably not that deep but--" lucanis post:
i'm gonna start this with a bold statement:
lucanis doesn't think about rook (much).
hear me out. in inner demons, when you are in his mind, we see these ideas of how he thinks he's perceived by everyone, and how he perceives people; family, contracts, enemies. all these people are conjured in his mind, in this prison he's yet to escape. his own mind is as dangerous as he is.
when you find him, he immediately asks "what are you doing here, rook?"
he immediately knows it's you. it's not an idea of you, not a trick or the mind, it's you. "rook can't be here." and with romance specific dialogue, he says "you should go. it's better i stay here than risk losing you."
so does he want rook out of his head to stop himself from coming up with reasons to keep rook away from him entirely? is he afraid the longer rook stays and learns his mind, the more rook will fear/distrust him?
and with that, does he then do his absolute best to just not think about rook when they're not around? not just because of the demon inside him, but himself? the culmination of the training and contracts and backstabbing and torture he's endured, leaving him to think he's too broken and messy and professional for friends or anything more? as a man that has little left to lose and is afraid to do so, he's just as - if not more - afraid to gain?
that rook is the one solid and neutral ground he has and therefore doesn't want them involved in a tortured mind? and that, if romanced, that's half the reason why there's an almost kiss because he panics, "i need to clear my head"?
and then tearstone island happens, and rook is gone for weeks. they're not around anymore. the only way to see rook is to imagine them, think about them. and all lucanis can think about is how he'll never see rook again. rook's lost despite his efforts.
at that point, what's left to lose but himself?
#again i'm probably overthinking pls don't yell at me that i'm wrong this has just been a thought i've had since i first did that mission#i haven't been normal about him since he dropped the 'at least i know i'm doing it' line but i've been ESPECIALLY worse since i realised--#you've been gone for weeks after tearstone island and thoughts like this make me go brrrrr ougghuouhgh waaaAAAAAHHH#anyway more angst for y'all GOODNIGHT<3#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age veilguard#da4#rook x lucanis (but not restricted to)#rookanis#PS by all means you can think i'm wrong and discuss your points! this is just a theory of mine
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oh hama bead sg-1 we're really in it now
#i made these like. 3 weeks ago but i was hoping to get a better photo to post#unfortunately im riddled with adhd and keep forgetting to do that so this is the best it's gonna get#they're so widdle because i had about six colours total to work with lmao but they're actually so relaxing to make so who knows#maybe at some point i'll be picking it up as a full hobby#that's also the reason daniel doesn't have glasses btw i just haven't found a decent way of doing them#also long hair bc if i ever get around to doing jonas vala and cameron we would have some serious twinning going on#anyway tag ramble over i gotta go to therapy now#stargate#stargate sg1#hama beads#perler art
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Sketch of my wife
#the wild robot#rozzum unit 7134#roz the wild robot#doodles#my art#i will draw her book design at some point as well!#i haven't been well this past week so take this
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More MDZS and Hollow Knight! The cool bugs I found in my backyard have started to unionize.
Part 1 - Part 3
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#hollow knight#mdzs au#mdzs hollow knight au#Once again not tagging all the characters due to sheer volume#Thanks for the warm and lovely reception on the first part of this crossover!#even people who haven't heard of hollow knight were very sweet and excited.#I redrew and redesigned some of the characters that people were asking to see#and while I still think I could play around with them a little more I'm pretty happy with the results B*)#JGY getting kicked down the stairs is part of his personality at this point. Of course I had to introduce him as such#Im pretty sure its not JZX who kicks him the first time but birthday boy on birthday boy violence is too funny to pass up#Madam yu being mosskin-like but distinctly not from the same clan was pretty important to me when designing her. But I was at such a loss!#By *chance* I saw The Hunter's design and thought 'YEAH THATS THE ONE'. Let milfs be terrifying.#Little apple originally was gonna be 'the girl who's backyard this all takes place in' but ....little bug steed....#In case you are wondering whether the Lan juniors are suspicious of the fact LSZ has twice as many legs: No. He's 'just like that' to them.#Part three will be in less than a week! Time to see the other side of the crossover!#I am so happy that I can draw silly crossovers and have people cheering me on! Yippee!
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THEM!!!
#the zhaoverse#helena zhao#lilith vatore#hi everyone! 👋🏼#i feel like i haven't posted anything in ages even though it's been literally three days lmao#idk if there will be a story post this week#the next one is probably about 60% done but i decided to be silly and make all the poses again#but i also have the week off and all the time in the world on my hands so we'll see#after the next couple though i'll be introducing more of your guys' sims 🥳#and i should probably update my game at some point but that sounds... unpleasant
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literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped
A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence
an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.
thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag
A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn
a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in
alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship
The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]
how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired
may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn
alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay
Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry
a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion
a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such
least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn
if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me
edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!
#saltburn#saltburn posting#really desperately need someone to pay me to write saltburn essays all day#or else these will never be more than a smattering of bullet points#and these are only the most developed of the millions of the thoughts that i've had rolling around in my brain this last week#idk if lengthy meta-essays are interesting to literally anyone other than me#but if any of these speak to u and u have thoughts abt them#of course u are welcome to send them my way#i think all of these were born out of either seeing bad fandom takes (ie. everything ive seen about farleigh and oliver)#or rly good fandom takes that haven't been talked about enough like the fluids thing#anyway#oh also if u want any interview clips that back up any of these ideas i have a list thats like a million miles long#and would be happy to dig for any specific things im talking about here#bambi#also also im sorry i kno the colon in academic essay titles is so overused i just love a subtitle sm#i love love love a clever little essay title. titling my essays was literally my favorite part of the essay process in college#saltburn 101
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tas john's havin the best day of his life in ch8 btw
#tough and sweet fic#good morningggg just realized i've been so busy irl/locked in writing that i haven't posted all week#here's a snippet to make up for the silence <3 ch8 is at 10k and counting... not againannnnann#2 weeks behind on tag games but i'm v keen to get back so i'll try at some point over the week :')#just gonna be v busy till mid sept with work/concerts/other shit so all free time is going straight to writing lol
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fanart for This Is Not The End by @kings-highway
potentially my favourite fic ever!! <3
#my art#uh i am so sorry but i'm gonna tag you in a few more posts also because#i keep getting inspired to draw stuff by your writings#this took SO long but i finished it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at last!!!!!!!!!!!!#those fence posts are my mortal enemies but at least they're done now#really glad i actually stuck with this#i started it three weeks ago!!#hm anyway i'm really really in love with this fic like seriously - if it was a published book i would buy it so so fast#everytime a new chapter drops i just go !!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then message my friend to yell about it <3#haikyuu#haikyuu fanart#haikyu!!#haikyu!! fanart#this is not the end#right so; in order:#azumane asahi#iwaizumi hajime#oikawa tooru#tsukishima kei#yamaguchi tadashi#kageyama tobio#hinata shoyo#sawamura daichi#sugawara koushi#kuroo tetsurou#takeda ittetsu#ukai keishin#ushijima wakatoshi#i put too many tags before and it deleted them nooooo i forgot what i said- oh! it was about starting this when only 3 chapters were out#and now there's so many characters which i haven't drawn here but i want to draw at some point so probably will okay loveyou bye <3
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