#And am failing most of my classes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

geckothegecko · 1 year ago

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Can someone stab me with a knife? Pretty please?

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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 3 months ago

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shoutout to the girls from my mid class who saw me crying, said 'what's wrong?' in concern, then did Not laugh when i, not knowing how to answer them, solemnly held up a thumbs-down gesture. while continuing to cry. they were very nice and sweet about it all and so reassuring. 'you'll get it next time, they never fail people on the repeat!' not sure that's true, and i was told i'd be fine and wouldn't fail the first time, but yeah, appreciated.

#i have so much rage inside me this week but that's all right #next time i meet with disabilty support services i AM going to ask if there's any way of avoiding these assessments in future as the reason #i failed is NOT because i don't know the stuff. it's because of freezing up due to stress which news flash! is due to ! my ! disabilty!#but yeah i walked out of it obviously kind of sobbing (avoided a meltdown but not sure if that was wise lol) and straight into them #took me until most of the way home to even figure out where i knew them from cause i didnt know them from that class i just knew i knew the #here's hoping tomorrow's similar assessment goes okay-#bc honestly if i have to repeat the entire unit for this one if i fail the hurdle again. it will be okay. but if i have to repeat the mid #unit i think i might just expire.#shoutout too to the girl who walked past me crying after. two minutes came back to check that i was okay. and was very sweet.#gonna probably put a post on the uni subreddit bc i remember her name #anyway.#studying #personal #the thumbs down thing is genuinely hilarious to me today

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transmechanicus · 1 year ago

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Everyone scandalized about Chilchuck being thirsted over, a character who is objectively 29, which is 40+ in human years, who has 3 grown daughters and a divorce, just because of how he's drawn, you have my biggest congratulations. I truly did not think the complex physiological system of a human body could be managed by a creature with not one singular brain cell. How you managed to stagger over to the computer and bash your skull against the keyboard with enough accuracy to post remains a further mystery. I am going to put you in a maze filled with buzzsaw goblins and will use the results to write a second PhD thesis.

#my stuff #ive only seen the tip of the iceberg from someone i'm following and oh my god is it taking all my power not to get involved #how are there wholeass adults who are this fucking stupid #brain revolving inside a peanut shell type intelligence. failed out of english class for incurable illiteracy disease.#symptomatic of terminal online-only fandom-is-real-life syndrome and i hope you LOG OFF FOREVER #notice that i am not tagging this. this is intentional. don't you fucking dare tag this with the show/manga.#i pre-emptively blocked like 6 people for having the most blank MRI ass takes. don't make that number go up.

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cmchill · 9 months ago

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I know I'm not what I produce. But my inability to write lab reports in time has really bitten my lab partners twice this semester, saddling them with unnecessary amounts of work and stress. I don't know what to do.

#i didn't think i was this bad at writing #maybe it's partially the tiredness #am i gonna fail this lab class that most people get As in?#i might deserve to at this point #i tanked my midterm presentation too #even with a gracious extension from the professors #my journal club presentation was the only assignment i actually did decent on #and even then #this is why I'll never ever be a professor #and probably never a real researcher either #I'm good at analysis but i can't write for SHIT unless given tremendous amounts of time. and i don't even write badly #i just either write fairly well or i write nothing #and lately “nothing” seems to be winning more and more #vent #vent post

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phoenixwithapencil · 3 months ago

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Cannot get dopamine without doing my work, cannot do my work without dopamine

#I have one (1) essay to do #and I cannot find actual joy in my silly dopamine activities until I do it #however doing the essay? awful atrocious. my prof definitely wants me to fail and has made the hardest essay ever #< (prof is very nice and this is an incredibly easy class with like- a 600 word essay that we already did most of the work for)#(I am being a whiny baby about the whole matter)#Nyx suffers

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ajdrawshq · 3 months ago

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hi i am not dead 👍

#i am SO sorry for the sudden long as fuck hiatus. the mental illness + constant stress events combo has been Something #i think im back now i think we're good . if i disappear again someone yell at me #at first i genuinely did just need a break bc the class i was taking required literally every waking moment to not fail #and after a few months of that i was like. very very dead #and i kept telling myself id be fine after that and uh. well!#i wonder if seaonal depression was a factor. never rly considered it but what the hell was that #part of it was also outside circumstances tho. that i have very little power in #and that mixed w my already suffering mental health means that i had zero energy to do literally anytging social #im sorry for all the birthdays ive missed :']#among other things thatve happened #i have been lurking for a good while but tthat was mostly just me liking posts as like a. hello i am here/i see whats going on rn #but i feel better now for the most part #activity might stay on tumblr for now tho. altho i have been wanting to properly set up my bsky #i have not looked at discord since the hiatus started but i know i have dms on there..#and i ahve a few on here #ill get to them when i can :')#as for what ive been up to. besides the mental illnessing #sonic hyperfixation 👍 ive played thru a lot of the games these past months to keep myself sane #not ythe movies. remembered the boycott and also have no interest in them knowing what the ppl who made them stand for #ive actually been working on a silly lil slideshow review thing for the games ive beaten #bc i havent been able to talk to literally anyone except my brother abt them. i NEED to yap or ill die #i have. so many thoughts. games good #the cats have also been a saving grace for me.. oh and the twins have grown a lot since ive last posted abt them #ill share pics of them later :] theyre vv silly. sunny is too per usual

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humanaaa · 3 months ago

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I CAN'T TAKE MATH ANYMORE

#I love my course but. This class is the one I am suffering the most 😭#Unrelated but. I can't see the tags when I write anymore?? My keyboard goes over them??? Anyway I have no idea if what am writing is right #Complexity of algorithms my beloathed o(-( notbevennthe class I spent half an hour discussing with the teacher so he wouldn't fail me made #Me sufferr this much o(-(

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squaduck · 3 months ago

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Huh.

Thanks to all the strangers who liked a single post, and thanks to all the weirdos who stuck around.

But also, what? I pretty much do nothing.

I occasionally reblog stuff, sure, but not a whole lot.

Sorry for the long tags. I'm just going slightly insane and didn't want to make a mile long post. (Also, did anyone know that there's a tag limit??? It's 30 tags apparently.) (also also, because tmi, im disabling reblogs.)

#100 likes #tumblr milestone #thank you #dont worry it hasn't gone to my head too much #i was going to write a whole bunch about how “oh but i don't do anything!”#but i realized that that would be dumb #this definitely feels undeserved. but considering that its cumulative over a long time it's not that crazy #i was also going to write about how most of my posts are just because I want attention. but that's kinda the point of social media.#also i need to unpack that more. probably not online.#i feel like a faximile of all the wrong parts of the blogs i like #i simultaneously need more and less inhibitions #i was writing a whole bunch of stuff (like a LOT) but then i remembered this isn't quite an endless void to yell into #I've definitely got problems and tumblr seems like an inadvisable solution #ugh. i promise that i am actually loved and stuff irl. i just struggle to ask for help and I'm too stoic for my own good #it'd just be awkward to start asking for help because I've dug myself in too deep without asking for help #edit: where i said stoic earlier also add stubborn.#whoops. starting treating this like a void again #I'm probably just burnt out too. I've heard that's common for gifted kids. (new lore: i was labeled as gifted)#I'm going to stop writing this in the tags of a random ass post #some of what I've written would make more sense with the tags i deleted. whatever.#im just #yelling into the not-quite void #so i don't want to start a conversation about any of this because I'm just thinking about it myself #after re-reading this i have determined that its incomprehensible. too bad. I've gotta get some sleep #y'know what? heres a summary of the tags i deleted #i overcomplicate things and will likely not stop #im bad at talking about stuff because i verbalize it and then think more and then negate what I've already said #I'm failing an English class because of the aforementioned overcomplication of things #all of this is almost certainly TMI but too bad. its incomprehensible anyway.#re: more/less inhibitions. more as in no tmi. less as in i should reblog more. (eg: i have 69670 liked posts vs 486 posts)

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maybewren · 4 months ago

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Note to self,,, actually make appointment with my university's disability accommodations department

#and dps since i lost a ring but thats unrelated #i think im too good for internalized ableism then i realize i have gallen victim and am on the edge of failing most of my classes #maybe speaking

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daz4i · 1 year ago

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it's so hard being a person who needs to be the best at everything when you are slightly below average at best at any given department

#i don't think ppl who tell me i'm good at x thing (that includes things like looks or voice etc btw) are lying or anything #but i do think they're biased and their love skews their perception of me. bc i mean. no one else can see it after all #and i hate that as a kid i was propped up as better than others bc it really did give me this complex while growing up lol #joining a gifted class and finding out i'm not actually particulary smart compared to them #failing auditions as an adult or messing up things i did get into #like this is why i don't like it when ppl say i have an impostor syndrome like noooo i literally do suck 😭#i'm not saying this in an 'i'm blind to my own abilities' way i'm just saying that compared to most people i am below average 😭#being better at a thing than the average person who. doesn't do the thing. doesn't mean much when i'm among the worst in those who do #and it's really discouraging from getting better at things too. bc i feel so inherently shitty at everything that it feels pointless #(esp given that i DID put years of effort into certain things yet i still suck or i lost my ability to do them with time)#so it's easier to not try. if i'm gonna be the worst anyway yknow? may as well save the effort and the heartache of trying and failing #(getting better is all about failing over and over yada yada ik all that shit i'm just not built to handle it. mentally)#vent #accidentally. bc i started rambling. bc i'm in some jealousy fueled rage rn sorry

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porcelain-animatronic · 9 months ago

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i love school because i inevitably end up with too many tasks and don't complete any of them!

#i mean it would help if my group for the group project had any sense of direction #it would also help if this class had any sort of organization that made sense to me #or if our member who made himself project manager didnt disappear off the face of the earth #or if we were given more time #i said it at the beginning that we weren't gonna have enough time and i was right!#little hater variety hour #im sorry but did we need a full class devoted to vr??? instead of talking about something important like level design???#like every class session i feel like im just wasting time but also like idk what i even supposed to do with it to complete this assignment #it would have also helped if my remaining group members would contribute anything #im letting them finish it. i dont care if we fail. ill go down with this ship #this is a lie i will be checking to make sure something gets submitted but i am not putting in any more effort #i swear i need to take manager and leadership classes with how often i end up trying to manage a project where i am objectively #working on the biggest and most important part while my group members wont help when i prompt them as they speculate on the stuff that cant #be completed until the part im working on is done #i hate group projects

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antiadvil · 10 months ago

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sorry people are annoying about your chronic illness lou i think you rock and it sucks that you have migraine 😔 you deserve to have so much fun at tit no matter what tho. love you x1000

thank you <3 i am really excited for tit!! i was talking with some friends the other day and i'm trying to convince a friend to visit for the show so we could go together and even if they can't make it it's going to be so fun. i'm for sure going to be meeting up with a friend who i met up with at WAD and there should be a few other tumblr people there who i'm excited to meet :) i'm planning to take a nurtec beforehand to hopefully help prevent a migraine from the lights/general excitement of the experience and i will have my nsaids and triptans with me in case that's not enough!

my real hope though is that whatever we do at my next neurology appointment will actually help this time (which it should... i think i've finally jumped through enough hoops for botox or a cgrp antagonist but i've thought that before and insurance has told me i am wrong) and i will maybe not need to worry so much about all the migraine stuff. summoning circle or whatever

#asks #castrotophic #i am excited for it!! and Right Now that's the only emotion i'm allowing myself to process bc i'm not on anxiety meds and if i am negative #i will spiral :)#look at me being positive. my therapist would be so proud #i'm not pinging ppl but. chicago mutuals/phriends you know who you are <3 #i know you didn't ask about the specific drugs i'm planning to take to try to avoid having a bad migraine but i'm sharing with the class #actually i failed to specifically name rizatriptan and diclofenac that's on me #i'm flexible though lmao i have leftover (pill) sumatriptan still and also aleve #i used to also have a bottle of aspirin thankfully i was able to pawn that off bc quite frankly i had too many nsaids in my medicine cabine #even currently i have a lot more migraine rescue meds than anyone should need to have on hand #and the worst part is i actually take most of them frequently enough that i can't get rid of them #i regularly mix and match between- rizatriptan aleve diclofenac nurtec excedrin tylenol #in case anyone was wondering. i have excedrin aleve and diclofenac on me at all times #if you have a headache at tit chicago. hit me up lmao #honestly if you have a headache anywhere in the chicago metropolitan area. i've got you covered #anyways!!#sorry i'm kind of insane i slept like shit last night and my brain is being real weird today

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lynaferns · 2 years ago

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School is draining any small motivation I had for art

or creativity in general

(tw: I got pretty much depressive in the tags but I needed to dump this somewhere and this may not be the best place but is where I feel better talking about my problems or insecurities, so feel free to ignore)

#vent in the tags #tw vent #i'm tired #and I hate that I'm tired #everytime I try to finish education is worst than the last time. my head can't take any sort of information from the class #no matter how many times they try to explain me or how many times I read and reread the same text #I can't focus. I can't memorize anything. I'm just sitting there in the classroom waiting for the 4 hours to finish to go back home #and spend the rest of the night just doing nothing. staring at the walls or doomscrolling till I have to go to bed and wake up again #for another day of fighting against an stupid anxiety attack in class because I'm going to fail this again #I hate school. I fucking hate it. the most boring stressing overwhelming way of learning #having the teacher talk for 1-2 hours straight and the student listening the whole time not saying anything is stupid #it's so fucking stupid they only want them to be mindless sheeps that only listen #because if you say anything 'no. you're wrong. I'm the teacher and I know better' fucking bullshit #this system is bullshit #and how am I supposed to study a whole school year of history. biology. math etc in less than 4 months??#everybody was like #'oh it's just 4 months and you'll be out of school!' 'in 4 months you'll get the education!' 'you can finish this in just 4 months!'#I fucking can't! I can't do this in such short time! I can't. focus. on 6. subjects at the same time. my brain can't!#and it's so fucking depressing. I have 4 opportunities to finish this. the longest it could take me is 2 years #I could just focus on 1 or 2 things each time but if I fail too many times I won't have another opportunity like this ever again #and I won't be able to finish highschool education and I. just. can't.#I'm tired of giving my biggest effort and not being enough. I'm tired of getting no satisfaction from any achievement I get #I hate so many things right now #and I have a lot more things in my head right now but I better shut up #you don't have to comfort me. it's ok. I'm not searching for confort. I just needed a place to dump my frustration or something #idk #you can ignore this #I might delete this later

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pervertwhore · 1 year ago

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i have yet to make an academic comeback and my last day to turn in all of my work is on the 29th…and…i’m missing basically all my assignments for all of my courses….🥸

#⊹ siren calls ! ᮫#this college semester hit me like a truck #HELP #chat am i cooked #no #i’m gonna make the most insane academic comeback #just you wait #well #i’m probs gonna fail my stats class #BUT I HAVE 4 OTHER COURSES IM NOT GONNA FAIL

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ratscabies · 2 years ago

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being a university instructor is actually really hard bc I want nothing more than to be nice and accommodating and understanding with my students, but like. baby I can lead a horse to water but I can't make it drink!!

#my class grades are essentially effort based too #im not grading students on the 'goodness' of their writing but rather marking their assignments complete or incomplete #based on if they followed the proper format of the assignment #and then i give feedback and give all students an opportunity to revise and resubmit for a complete grade #and final course grades are based on grading contracts so students decide what grade they wanna work towards #and then complete the assignments associated with that grade #and honestly i am very lax with my grading and feedback #the only way to fail this course is to turn nothing in #but like a fifth or sixth of my class is failing rn bc they havent turned anything in despite me trying to work with them #and it's like. i feel bad but having them email me NOW with less than 2 wks left of the semester asking how they can pass the class #is infuriating tbh!!#listen im just one person with my own life and my own struggles and my own classes to deal with #ive tried all semester to help you #'how can i pass your class??'#baby youre not gonna #i know most of my students are first semester college freshmen #but its like youre an adult learn how to take care of your shit #ive tried holding your hand throughout the entire semester to get you to pass #and youve rejected it #you made your bed you better lie in it

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pantestudines · 2 years ago

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having a "former gifted kid" type mental spiral

#i say this because the spiral is actually about how much i hate the word and the general culture around giftedness #mostly because its incredibly inconsistent between schools so people often mean different things when they say it #but also because in my specific case its certainly not a gift but like. what am i supposed to call it.#its literally a neurodivergence in my case that has had many effect postive and negative on my life. but its also a school club.#and its also nothing! before the advent of like modern standardized public education i wouldve just been a curious kid #Without modern public education im not sure i wouldve even been different from other kids. maybe a little socially awkward still but idk #and like. Am i really different from other kids? am I now as an adult different from my peers? Occasionally i will get told as such #how the fuck am i suppose to talk about how much being seperated from my peers and held to higher standards sucked #when the name of the reason why this happened might as well be 'gods specialist little boy'#none of the things that make people think im smarter are really all that useful day to day. and most non-gifted people are like. still smar #i happen to be good at memorizing the kind of facts schools test you on as children #but is that just because i was told as a kid to be good at school and so i tried hard to do that?#even if I am uniquely good at that #does that really make me more intelligent than the high school dropouts who can fix cars like its nothing?#in fact i would say they are at least wiser than me for picking something practical to be smart at #at my school being gifted usually implied you were a little neurodivergent and bad at socializing #often our gifted kids were actually failing classes because they were smart enough to realize they didnt matter #(not me but still)#but at some schools being gifted just means you were an avid reader or were pressured by your parents to maintain perfect As at all times #so if i say. wanted to talk about how being 'gifted' has often made some aspects of academia like hating emails and having time blindness #and not having a good friend network and having many unadressed issues around not really knowing how to make friends #if i wanted to talk about that. and i say 'I was gifted growing up and this sucked'#the person on the other end might hear 'oh woe is me im so smart and this makes my life so hard'#AND FURTHER STILL #on tumblr especially 'former gifted kid' has kindve become parlance for 'guy whining about nothing'#or even 'person who they were told was smart but is actually kinda dumb'#which... yeah! theres a reason many former gifted kids are like that! thats kindve my issue with the program in the first place!#it takes otherwise relatively normal if well achieving kids and tells them they are gods specialist little children.#THIS CANNOT BE HELPFUL TO ANYONE? like whatever chance the kids had at seeming normal has been stripped away #and they now also think they are the smartest person in the room in every situation

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