#And again - I don't think he'd be so committed to doing all that unless he was convinced they were going to survive

[saints-who-never-existed]

Y’all ever think about at what point in the story Blanky first took Hartnell under his wing?

Part of me thinks it was happening in the background from the very beginning.

Hartnell demonstrates a feel for the ice right from Episode One when he’s the first to notice the descending pack ice, to understand the significance of it, and to call for Blanky’s advice.  But he’s also at his most vulnerable in those first few episodes. He’s rudderless and no doubt still grieving the loss of his brother. That’s half the reason he falls for Hickey’s manipulations at first and I have a hard time believing that any of that would’ve happened if he’d already had Blanky’s support behind him. 

I think the more likely option is that it came about when they were abandoning/preparing to abandon the ships. 

Hartnell’s grown a great deal already at that point - instead of dwelling in the past he’s very much looking forward to the future. He’s gained confidence and maturity but most of all, he’s absolutely full to the brim with hope and courage and I can see that being just as important in Blanky’s eyes as a knack for reading the ice. 

At the end of the day, that hope and courage is what it comes down to. 

I don’t think Hartnell would take up the challenge of learning the skills of an ice master in the first place if he wasn’t hopeful and completely convinced that he was going to survive. 

But I also have to wonder if Blanky, particularly after his injury and particularly having a better idea than anyone of what lay ahead, decided to pass on his skill and knowledge because somewhere in the back of his mind he was convinced that he wouldn’t... 

[toxycodone]

The way i need kabru to teach me the anatomy of the human body by using himself as a model and he’s explaining how all the vital points are laid out but he’s struggling because my hands are dipping a little too low below his belt and squeezing his neck a bit too firmly

vital points (kabru of utaya x reader)

wc. 1.5k

cw. romantic/sexual tension, nothing explicit

No one in Kabru's party is a particularly skilled dungeon crawler. Despite all efforts it seems his party is always taken out before they can do any true exploring of the dungeon's secrets.

Therefore, being the excellent leader that he is, Kabru has decided to take it upon himself to give out combat lessons. And it's only logical he starts with you first. Mickbell has his own specialties--poison darts and all. Kabru's not sure if he'd even be interested in lessons. And even if he was, would he even pay attention? It's probably not worth the trouble. Kuro is well, Kuro. What part of that demihuman's body isn't a weapon? His sharp senses make him one of, if not the most well-equipped members of his team. It's the main reason Kabru keeps a demi-human, one partly monster, like him around. Aside from the fact he's a package deal with the half-foot. Kabru's sure Kuro could make it throigh the dungeon on his own.

Daya is the second best. Strong. Capable. A weapons expert. She can take a hit and throw it back with ease. Rin and Holm are the magic users. Combat would likely be wasted on them. Rin's frail, but she already has similar knowledge to Kabru as she grew up with the same foster mom. And Holm...likely wouldn't agree to lessons. He's maintained a commitment to do no harm to others unless absolutely necessary. Kabru's not going to try to convince him to learn his way around a weapon and how to maim unless it's completely critical.

However. That leaves you.

You're different. Not entirely useless, but not entirely skilled on the other hand. Kabru's still trying to figure you out. Quite the enigma you are to him. He's come to the conclusion you're a jack-of-all-trades type of figure. For now, at least. You don't exactly take away from the party. But you're not hindering their descent, either. It's intriguing from an anthropological standpoint, yet infuriating from his stance as leader of his party.

But again, he wonders what skills you do possess, exactly. Everyone has their specialties, be it what it may. He wonders if combat might be something he can help you succeed--no, excel--in. He'll bring out the best in you via this method, and come to learn more about you in the process. Two birds with one stone. In the back of Kabru's mind, his own desire rears its head. The desire to be close to you. He's not exactly sure why or where this desire stems from. However...it can be satiated via a combat lesson. Three birds, he muses. You pique his interest in a variety of ways.

When it first comes to combat, jumping right in is never ideal. The first means of success comes from mapping out vital points. The human anatomy is a good start. Dungeons are full of demi-human and human adversaries alike. It's important to know them for one to defend themselves, unarmed or not. And these vitals seem to remain uniform among all creatures.

Head. Neck. Abdomen. Groin.

The four major sensitive groups one should know. He's starting small for now. Too much information could be overwhelming. It wouldn't be worth to teach you so much at once that

You're in front of him now, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Not in a literal sense. A metaphorical one. Well, your eyes are bright. He's always liked them. Not that it matters. Why is he thinking of this?

Kabru shakes his head a little, trying to steady his thoughts. Back to business.

"The first lesson in defense is understanding anatomy." Kabru muses, looking through his notes. There's no real time to fetch a book at this point. Or a model. Kabru's not necessarily gifted at art either. Not that a simple drawing would do.

He can serve in its place, as an example. A physical specimen would be the most insightful. You're probably a hands on learner, he decides. It's definitely not as an excuse to have you close to him. Definitely not. Not that he's entirely against that, though.

"Starting with the head. There's plenty of areas you can exploit there," Kabru points to his eyes. You follow suit. They're such a striking blue. Hypnotic. Mesmerizing.

"Eyes are the easiest to access. They're the first thing humans notice. You can predict someone's movements by figuring out where they're looking towards. It'll likely show you where they intend to attack." Kabru leans forward absentmindedly. "They're also sensitive. Even a simple move can distract or blind an opponent. Don't be afraid to strike there. Even though Mickbell might tease you for fighting dirty. All's fair in dungeon combat."

You chuckle and agree. Kabru's pleased his attempt at humor landed. It seems to lighten the air around you two.

"Next, the neck. There's two main points here you want to recognize." Kabru takes your hand, offering a reassuring smile as he does so, then presses it to the underside of his neck. They're a little cold, you note. And almost dainty. His hands aren't particularly calloused. He must take good care of them.

He guides your index finger to the skin on the outside of his neck. His skin carries a hint of heat to it.

"This is where the external jugular is located. It's one of the most important veins in the body. It carries blood to the head and neck area. Just a simple cut can slice through it. A simple turn of the head is enough to expose it."

He moves your hand more inward, now pressing slightly into the divot close to his trachea. His chest rises slowly, then falls. There's a faint beating under the skin now. Kabru's pulse.

"The internal jugular is here. If you can land a hit here, do it. You'll have to go deep and make sure you slice clean through the skin. It can disable a foe in seconds."

You try to keep your mind on the lesson. But his skin is remarkably soft. And smooth. You're close enough now to count his stubble. Well, you would if there was any to count. How does Kabru manage to keep himself so well groomed on dungeon excursions. Maybe you could count those thick, lovely eyelashes inste--

A simple call of your name breaks your thoughts. Not only were you not paying attention, but your fingerpads dig slightly into his skin. You struggle to find an explanation for your absentmindedness, then decide to pin it on you being hyperfocused.

Kabru, ever so forgiving, decides to move on without further question. Internally, you thank him for preserving your dignity. What's left of it. You're almost certain he's caught onto the fact your no longer solely doing this for the sake of combat knowledge.

"The abdomen hosts a majority of the body's necessary organs. The lung's can be pierced easily through the ribcage." Deft fingers lead you across the expanse of his chest. You're a bit shocked. Without his armor, Kabru's a lot smaller. Being revived time and time again has left its mark on his body. There's still power to him though. His muscle isn't all gone. You can surmise your leader has quite the lithe build.

Kabru continues to go on, despite you not listening. He likes to talk about anatomy, for one. But he's also trying to hide his own amusement at your reaction to touching him. You're admiring him in your own way. Which means you may harbor similar feelings towards him that he has towards you. Interesting. He takes note of this as your hands are guided lower.

Stomach. Liver. Kidneys.

And last is the groin.

Kabru's puzzled. He didn't really consider how this would play out in his hands-on anatomy lesson. Desire clouded his mind earlier, but now that he can peek through it...the realization of the situation sets in. How should he proceed? He can tell by your reactions you're fascinated by the lesson at the least. Kabru's sure you need this lesson. The groin is probably the most effective place to punch, kick, or slice in a pinch. As inappropriate as it is, in general and a workplace sense, he still wants you to keep touching him.

His hands leave yours. He's leaving it up to you, now. Whether you choose to continue or not will tell him what he wants to know--if he's been going too far or not.

"The groin is the last area you should become familiar with. I'm sure you're aware, but it's particularly sensitive." Kabru's not sure whether to look at you or your hands. He goes for the latter when your fingers trail over his belt, threatening to move towards the linen of his pants below.

"The genital area, more specifically. No matter the sex. A swift punch, kick. Even just grasping it. You can get an advantage in combat. Either as a distraction, or...."

Your fingers keep going lower. He's sure you aren't paying attention, now far too invested in your personal lesson on anatomy. There's a slight bulge in his pants. It's stiffens when you ghost over it.

Kabru's breath stifles. He swallows his spit like it's cement.

"A-and that's the gist of it."

Kabru stutters for the first time ever, you think. Your curious hands flee his body as a result, now returning to your sides. That was...exhilirating. So simple, yet...you can tell the two of you are craving more.

"Uh," You're first to break the awkward tension. "Thank you, Kabru. For the lesson. It was very informative." A certain tone lingers on the last word. Kabru can practically see the air quotations around it. His dark skin deepens with color. For once in your span of knowing him, Kabru's eyes don't tear into you.

"Right. It's my duty as your leader, after all. Thank you for listening. We can go back to the others now."

Kabru is known for his penchant for understanding others. Almost being able to predict their next moves with ease. However, your next move is wildly unpredictable, tossing out everything he once assumed about your attitude and demeanor.

You ask when the next lesson is. You'd like to study anatomy-perhaps his anatomy, more thoroughly.

And what he also doesn't expect is his eagerness to respond. The next lesson can't come soon enough.

[ma1dmer]

Call of Duty - Vladimir Makarov NSFW

the first time I went on a date with a slavic man my mother turned to me and told me "I didn't immigrate, for you to be going out with Ivan from the village" anyways, here is ivan from the village

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): surprisingly he talks, he'll go on and on about the small things in his day to day, his shitty day, the things he's seen since he last saw you, his plans for the future ,especially if you speak his language, in the darkness of your room pressed against each other naked like that, he almost opens up to you

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): he loves legs, he is a man who can appreciate a good high heel to elongate them, loves fucking you in the tights and heels combo, very particular about them too, he sees you walking around in a skirt with a slit up the thigh and heels and he's pulling you to him, asking if this is his present

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically): in the heat of the moment he's so into the idea of cumming on you, messing up that pretty face of yours or leaving his mark on you in a way, but the second that post nut clarity hits he is absolutely disgusted, quickly throws something for you to clean up with while wiping his hand

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): he is a bit of a masochist, its just one of those things he'll never admit and you better not bring them up at any point in any conversation, but it gets him so riled up when you have the balls to slap him back, he doesn't encourage your behavior outside of very specific moments in the bedroom though, it's rare for him to actually allow it, but you can immediately tell when he's in one of those moods, he'll be lost in the feeling of you wrapped around his cock and suddenly yank your hand to wrap around his throat and growl at you to go on

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?): a man with a lot of experience, mostly anonymous hook ups here and there, so it's tough to get him to get used to an actual serious commited relationship, but it's nice, he won't complain with having someone to always warm his bed or wait for him to come back home

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying): the basics, on your back holding your legs as he fucks you, he'll kiss your forehead or cheek growling filth against your sweaty skin, if you turn away from his kisses he forces you to look at him, gets very petty about that

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.): serious and very very intense

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.): all natural, not particularly hairy but he doesn't do anything to it, he always smells very very strongly of cologne as well

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect): not exactly romantic, if you keep him content and his bed warm, he spoils you outside the bedroom, that's his way of showing he cares and his commitment to you, but he keeps his distance in general, he is a greedy greedy man, he wants your full attention but won't give you his unless he is forced to do so

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon): before he thinks of jacking off he first texts you, if you don't answer his texts, he calls you, asks you if you are busy, not really caring for any answer other than "no, my love, what do you want?" ,he'll be stroking himself through his pants as he asks you to come over or tells you he's about to pop in for a bit, if you happen to be busy he'd rather take a shower and wait for when when he can next see you again

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks): power dynamics, impact play, choking etc

L = Location (favorite places to do the do): he keeps his private business behind closed doors, can't stand the idea of other men ogling you

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going): a short skirt, high heels, red lipstick, play a bit of dress up for him, he's a simple man who can still enjoy the simple pleasures of life

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): he does not share, he gets angry with you when another man looks at you, can't even comprehend the thought of bringing someone else in the bedroom, if you even suggest it, you are out, he's gone, and he's fucking every single woman within a 100 mile radius as revenge

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): loves receiving, he is not particularly gentle with it though, he likes things very specifically so he orders you around or straight up moves your head like his personal fleshlight, he also enjoys having a finger or two in him while you give him head, won't talk about it outside the bedroom, but always lifts his hips up or straight up moves your hand to his ass when he fucks your mouth to let you do your thing

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.): rough and fast, he'll take his time to prepare you but once he's inside he's almost single mindedly chasing his own pleasure, you have to keep up with him and take matters into your own hand, enjoys the show greatly

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): not a big fan, if he is at work, he is at work, you don't intrude during that time and he hates nothing more than an impatient brat

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.): not really, he likes things very particularly done, its difficult to convince him to do something new, he's not unmovable but if you insist too much he gets stubborn and will keep denying you

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?): it really depends on the context, how long since he last saw you? how pent up is he? after a success or a failure? how generous is he feeling that night? is he spending the night or needs to fly out in a couple of hours? everything moves with his schedule

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?): he's quite possessive and very self absorbed, he doesn't like the idea of you using them by yourself when he's gone, but can definitely be convinced with something he can control for you

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): he is pretty straight forward, isn't so much a tease as he has a bit of a mean streak, he enjoys the little jump you make when you think he's gonna spank you ,but instead he just gently cups your ass or thighs, will smirk and ask you if you are scared of him or something, tells you to relax and stop being so tense, even though you have legit reasons to be worried

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): grunts and groans and a lot, a lot of dirty talk, especially if he sees it gets a rise out of you, you'd expect him to be quieter but no not really, he makes these deep guttural grunts as he fucks you and curses up a storm, especially in russian

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character): he is a pussy slapper, he eats it with precision and great enjoyment, but he's so mean about it, will coo at you in russian when you flinch at his touch

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes): average length but very thick with a slightly thinner crown, very hard to adjust to

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): very average, it's common to send you off with a wave of his hand if he is busy, but when the need arises in him he does expect you to drop everything for him

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): this man is a little spoon, he will never admit it or ask, but every night he turns his back to you and expects you to hug him at some point

[americankimchi]

Do you have any tips for writing Obi Wan or any meta in mind with his characterizarion?

hmmm sure why not! i'll give a few tips on how i'd write obi-wan. mind you this is how i interpret the character, so ymmv.

i truly do not like it when fics have obi-wan voluntarily leaving the order. like it's so out-of-character for me in my head that the premise of the story + the writing would have to work triple-time to get me to stick around. now if he's been removed from it by an EXTERNAL SOURCE (not the order. i cannot stress this enough: the jedi kicking obi-wan out is so jarring to me i'll leave the fic in an instant) or somehow unable to return to the order for whatever reason, all is well.

not a prodigy, but a genius. obi-wan is an incredibly intelligent person with an absolutely staggering knowledge base in a wide variety of topics, but all that knowledge was earned through blood, sweat, tears, and time. he sat down with his game face on and put in the work. that's also why he makes an excellent teacher: he knows what most students will struggle with because he struggled too, and knows through experience how best to overcome them. i headcanon that it contributes to why he's such a good negotiator: he's really good at stripping down information to the essentials and communicating that information effectively and efficiently to others because of his intense study habits.

humble, but not ignorant of his skills. it's pretty impossible to fully divorce yourself from pride in your achievements, and i don't think it's healthy to not feel any pride at all, so i think obi-wan has a very clear understanding of his skillset and how best to use it. i don't think he'd be ignorant of how good he is at something, especially since the direct consequence of his aptitude led him to being a member of the jedi council. pretty hard to be blind to your strengths when you're being asked for your input on topics that directly draw from that knowledge.

averse to healthcare. listen i enjoy obi-wan whump just as much as the next obi-wan stan (the desire to put him in the cosmic salad spinner comes with the territory, i fear) but as a character who grew up in an environment that deeply cares for the well-being of all, and knowing that you cannot help others unless you yourself first have the ability to do so, i can't really see him ignoring injuries outside of combat scenarios. like on the battlefield he's got more pressing concerns than a pesky little shrapnel wound or five, but once the battle's over?? he might not be first in line to the medics but i can't see him avoiding them entirely. an army without a general is working at a sharp disadvantage and i don't think he'd risk his men by neglecting his physical health in that manner. note that i said 'physical'. make of that what you will :)

duty. obi-wan is the definition of a paladin. he takes an oath and by the force he's going to keep it. train the boy? absolutely, qui-gon. whether or not anakin chooses to respect that training is another matter, but he did definitively get knighted! refuse to kill anakin? listen he's handed vader his own ass to him twice post order 66 and each time he did it he did it nonlethally. that takes skill. that takes dedication. exile yourself to tatooine for 19 years and then decide fuck it, we ball, and die after Once Again Deciding Not To Kill Anakin Skywalker? step aside casper, there's a new friendly ghost in town. every time obi-wan commits to something the man COMMITS. you GOTTA respect that grind.

flirty but in the sense that he's going to match the energy someone brings to the table. like he's a negotiator. he knows how to read people and figure out the Vibes. if he thinks the other person will be 1) 100% receptive and 2) will respond with a delightful wit, why the hell not? obi-wan's highest stat is charisma and he's got expertise in persuasion. whether they're allies or not does not factor into this equation. he can have a little flirtation with morally dubious and potentially hostile characters. as a treat.

this has nothing to do with his character but i firmly believe that he and quinlan vos had at LEAST a fling when they were padawans. there is zero evidence to back this up aside from a few comics where they were being goofy teenagers together but i stand by this. it is an unshakeable aspect of obi-wan to me that has only gotten worse with the kenobi show.

no matter what, no matter how terrible or devastating or downright apocalyptic it gets, obi-wan kenobi will never fall to the dark side. never. it won't be easy, but that is a line he has never, and will never cross. i will not hear any "obi-wan touched the dark side during the theed generator fight" slander. if that was true tell me why the force theme was playing during his moment of triumph!!! Would John Williams Lie To Us Like That?? to our face?????

anyways i could go on forever about obi-wan because he is My Ultimate Blorbo but this post is getting super long so i'll leave it there. hope this helped even a little or at the very least was entertaining for you to read <3

[bamfkeeper]

SFW Alphabet: Nightcrawler

a/n: yayy I finally got around to writing again, as I said here's a Nightcrawler alphabet. It feels good to write for the first time in a few months. I plan on writing actual fics though, once I have more out I'll take requests. For now, enjoy a SFW Alphabet! A NSFW will come later hehe. I'm getting the feel of writing him so I'll work out any kinks of things I don't like as I write more of him. I'm going to try to mix the variants of him and not stick with a solid version, so there will be mixes from comics and other shows, etc in his characterization. I hope you enjoy <3

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?):

Kurt is very affectionate, he's a lover, so he likes to be close to you at all times. He likes giving you hugs, kisses, or simply giving you gifts like flowers or chocolates.

He likes spending time with you too, and he will call you sweet things in German because he likes to see you blush.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?):

He'd be a great best friend, always making sure you're doing good and supporting you through bad times. He'd be a blast to hang out with, he'd teleport you around Genosha and show you all the lovely sights.

He'd always make sure you felt cared for, even as just a friend, he'd still ensure you were safe and sound. He likes to have fun, so anytime you wanted to do something, he'd be down.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?):

Kurt is a huge cuddler. He is so soft because of his velvet skin, so he is extra warm. He makes the best cuddle buddy for winter because he keeps you warm, like a heated stuffed animal.

He loves to hold you, he often will rub your back or play with your hair, he will also read to you in German, which almost always lulls you to sleep. He loves to have his tail wrapped around you as well, keeping you secure.

Sometimes he likes to be held though, his upbringing at the circus didn't offer him much affection that way, so he cherishes it when he can be more vulnerable with you. Sometimes he puts that goofy self away and he crawls into your chest and curls up.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?):

Settling down is always something Kurt has wanted to do, but with his lifestyle, it can be hard to determine when.

He's always wanted a family, and he values that at his core, he would talk about settling down a lot with his partner and together, you'd figure out a good time. I think he'd want to settle when Krakoa comes around, after the attack on Genosha, your plans to settle had to be pushed back.

Kurt is German so of course he can cook. He is an excellent cook at a lot of things, but some foods he doesn't normally eat are a bit rough for him. He learns from trial and error.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?):

If he had to, he'd do it in a way where your feelings would be taken into consideration. He'd be as gentle as possible, and he'd let you know that he still cares about you.

I don't think he'd want you out of his life, (unless you cheated or did something really bad), so even if you broke up, you'd still remain good friends.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?):

Being a religious man, commitment is important to him. If he were with you, it would only be you he'd loyal to and he would date in hopes to marry.

He would go off of you, but dating is a trial run for marriage, and he dates for that. He would imagine your lives together, and he would like to marry after a year or so.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?):

He is very gentle, he is sweet and tender and learned to be that way because of all the hatred he experienced in his life. Everyone was afraid of him growing up, so he learned to be extra sweet and gentle to make up for his 'scary' appearance. He doesn't want anyone to be afraid of him.

Physically, he is as tender as ever, his touch is so light and sweet. He loves to caress your back or cheek while you sleep beside him, even his tail will run gently up and down your body.

He is very in tune with his emotions and empathetic to those around him. He is understanding, and is always ready to help you if you feel overwhelmed or upset at all. He is very good at dealing with emotions, and will always do his best to make sure his partner is okay.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?):

Kurt loves hugs! He hugs friends, family, lovers. He does it all the time, and he is one of the best huggers out there. He can squeeze happily, hold tenderly, and spin playfully.

When he embraces you, you can feel the love radiating off of him. It is one of your favorite things to feel him hugging you, and of course his tail wraps around you!

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?):

He would be a little nervous, but he would say it first. He'd either randomly blurt it out to you, or he'd make sure you were having a special time together and he'd speak it tenderly to you.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?):

Kurt can get pretty jealous, it stems from his insecurity. When he gets jealous, he will remain close to you with a hand on your hip or around you. He might kiss you on the cheek to tell whomever you're speaking to that you're taken. His tail will wrap around your arm or leg too.

He will grumble against you later on, he might feel a little more insecure after, but some reassurance and he will be okay again. If he got really jealous, he'd teleport you away and he'd take you somewhere so he could make sure you and everyone else knew you were taken.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?):

Oh his kisses...such sweet, amazing kisses. He has experience, so his kisses would be perfect. He'd learn what you like, and he'd make sure you were breathless every time.

His lips would gently graze over yours, he smiles that cheeky grin of his and he would press them fully into yours. The kiss might be tender, might be a little more passionate, but his soft lips would make you wrap your arms around his neck and hold him close.

He loves lip kisses of course, but he also likes to kiss your wrists and the back of your hand if he's feeling playful. He likes getting his temple and neck kissed, even if it makes him blush.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?):

Kurt is excellent around kids. He knows how to handle them, and he is quite playful with them. He always tells you how he wants a few little ones in the future, and he hopes you do too.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?):

Kurt isn't a morning person, he is a little whiny and grumpy when he wakes up, and he is rather clingy. He doesn't like to get out of bed but will trudge after you and hold you from behind if you make breakfast.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?):

Kurt loves his sleep, he values it. In the circus growing up, his mistreatment went as far as being isolated to a cage with a thin layer of hay as cushioning. So, now that he can have an actual bed, he adores it.

He likes soft blankets and pillows, curling up in them like a nest, and holding you close to him. He buries his face in your hair, or he snuggles into your chest for safety.

He doesn't snore, he learned to be silent when he sleeps, you don't ask why. But he makes a tiny purring noise, and his tail stays wrapped around you to make sure you're still there when he wakes up.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?):

Kurt is a pretty open person. Some of the things of his past that are hard for him might take him a while before he tells you, but he just needs to work up the courage. You know that he was mistreated in the circus, so don't pressure him to tell you. He will tell you everything, it just takes time.

He might tell you something that he is uncomfortable with that reminds him of his past or childhood, his playfulness is more serious when he talks about it so you know he's not joking around. He is so grateful you take it seriously and it makes him love you even more.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?):

He is very patient, he learned to be growing up. He can handle quite a lot of shit before he might get a little riled up and upset. Even if he does get angry, he tries to be as reasonable as he can.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?):

He is like a safe, he locks away everything you tell him. Favorite flower, favorite color, little things you like and dislike. He remembers what seasonings you like best with what foods, how you like things cooked, literally everything.

He remembers important things like allergies and triggers, preferences, places to go, everything you say is so important to him. He surprises you with his knowledge too, even you forget you've told him things until he brings it up in conversation.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?):

Definitely when he said he loved you, it was such a special moment between you two and a defining day in your relationship. You grew so much closer, and it was a near perfect day. When he heard you say it back, he swore he died and went to heaven. His heart swelled so much and that day is definitely a core memory for him.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?):

Kurt is protective to a degree. He knows you can handle yourself, but he absolutely won't hesitate to step up and defend you. If anyone speaks about you in a poor manner, he jumps to defend you, especially if you aren't there. He doesn't let anyone talk bad about you.

If you are hurt or can't defend yourself, expect him to be more agile and aggressive than you've ever seen. He will swing those swords and defend you like precious treasure. (Which you are to him).

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?):

Every single date you have, Kurt puts so much effort into. He makes sure things are perfect, he remembers all the little things, he makes sure that you are enjoying yourself and that you have a wonderful time.

Every gift is special and sentimental. Even if it's silly and small, like chocolate, it is always your favorite flavor and brand.

Kurt will adjust to your love language, and acts of service is something he does a lot for you. He will cook, clean, anything if you're too tired to do it. And he never complains, always doing it with a smile on his face.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?):

The only thing that might be perceived as bad is he might be too playful sometimes. He might be a little too light hearted and silly when things need to be more serious, but he gets better with this habit as your relationship develops.

Sometimes his insecurities about his appearance can fester and they can make him slightly more irritable because he feels like you can do so much better than him. Just be sure to reassure him and it usually helps a lot to hear you say sweet things.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?):

Kurt for the most part doesn't seem too concerned with his appearance, but he does have insecurities when it comes to his looks. Sometimes if he sees an attractive person speaking to you, he feels a little down when he thinks about his own looks.

Besides that, he is very aware of his hygiene because he is covered in velvety fuzz, so he washes himself every day and makes sure he is clean.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?):

Absolutely. Kurt loves you with all his heart, you are his everything. Without you, he would feel like a piece of himself is missing. One of his worst fears is losing you, he often has bad dreams about it and wakes you up at night to make sure you're still with him.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.):

Kurt was not a contortionist in the circus, but he might as well have been. Kurt is incredibly flexible, able to bend and twist in unnatural angles. He will show you all sorts of things he can do and loves to hear your praise.

He shakes off from the shower like a wet dog.

One of his favorite smells is fresh, buttery popcorn.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Kurt is a devout Catholic, so he wouldn't want anyone bad mouthing his beliefs. Kurt is very accepting and wouldn't try to convert you or make you believe in things you don't want, he keeps his religious beliefs to himself and only speaks if asked about it. However, if you bad mouth him or his beliefs, he will bristle and he won't like it.

He is open minded to hearing discussions or answering questions if you don't believe, but as long as they are respectful. If you talk poorly about it, he won't be interested in continuing the conversation.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?):

As mentioned before, Kurt loves to sleep. He didn't get a lot of good rest in the circus. So now that he is able, he tends to nest and curl up in a pile of soft blankets and pillows. He loves feeling secure and safe, which is something he never really got before.

If you rest with him, he's either holding you or snuggled into you. He likes to sleep in a dark place, it makes him feel more relaxed. Some nights when he has trouble, he listens to religious passages and he falls asleep quickly.

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

dividers by @/adornedwithlight

[youronlylie]

hello people in my phone

BOONE head cannon list, just a mix of stuff that'll probably change later ( THERE WILL BE MORE ) 1/?

• He undoubtedly was ripped/heavily worked out being in the ncr, after moving to novac and loosing his wife he undoubtedly lost a lot of muscle but...guys he still is literally like beefed.

• He cannot fucking cook for shit, he understands what shouldn't be put in your body but from there he has no clue.

• Going off of cooking, he has strict times where he eats, like routine from the ncr.

• For some reason he strikes me as a guy who really enjoys fruit whenever he can get his hands on it.

• Cannot tolerate any sort of spice.

• Smells very mettalic, sweaty, like man must.

• Has a soft spot for cats.

• 1000% is not bald, just shaves his head as he probably prefers the look.

• I feel like with a romantic partner, since he isn't one much for talking his love language would be physical touch or gift giving, I could imagine him seeing stuff he knows they'd like and saving it for later, excited to see how they'd react.

• He would definitely have a special place in his heart for fantasy movies, he doesn't seem to be able to express himself well and I feel like the creativity of something like lord of the rings would get him going.

• I seriously cannot pick so I'll include both, he is either an extreme cuddler with a romantic partner or on very rare occasions, he's just terrible at expressing emotion.

• If the courier and him are something like romantic partners he'd definitely never be able to sleep, often awake staring and listening for noises, waiting for the next cascade of legionares but it never happens and he eventually learns that.

• I don't think he'd ever get married again unless it'd be over 20 or so years in the future, it's a type of commitment that I don't think he could mentally handle whatsoever unless he is totally over Carla.

• I definitely do think boone could find love again in another person, he's scared and alone, fearful for any sort of attachment.

• 10000% has really really nice man hands, like large hands with nice fingers.

• Is definitely tall but not close to arcade tall, 6' ish at MOST, I just feel like looking at his build and concept art that he is definitely a tall man.

• Secretly really has a thing for drawing whenever he can, especially when he was nested at novac, sitting up top the dinosaur scribbling stuff on old receipts or whatever else it helps him get his emotions and thoughts out.

• irl he would be so patriotic it's not even funny, like he'd go all out for fourth of July but is the somber type so he'd cook hot dogs and whatever else then sit in the corner and watch everyone else.

• Has a thing for memorizing features, very very very intuitive and will remember almost anything you tell him.

• He is so the type of guy to enjoy snow, like yeah he'd probably be kinda pissy for a bit but if you pushed his buttons enough I feel like he'd mess around with the courier.

• He absolutely like no doubt has nightmares, like the ones where you erupt in cold sweat and your throat is sore.

• If he does sleep like ever, along with nightmares he grips the sheets, rolls around a whole lot, mumbles. In the ncr he was the total opposite, stone faced, layed straight and slept some what peacefully until later on in his ncr years.

• Yearns for someone, even platonic, to just sit beside him, no words and scratch his back and kinda just touch him lightly. I don't think he'd cry but it's something I could imagine would bring him close to tears.

• He absolutely probably finds almost everyone annoying, like, he just is done with everything and doesn't give two shits about what anyone has to say unless the courier puts some sense into him.

• Really disagrees with gambling, just doesn't like it.

• Wishes he had a nice farm house, out somewhere away from everything, where it has everything he needs and could be away from absolutely everyone. ( of course after extracting revenge on the legion )

• He wants to learn how to play guitar, either he has tried and is horrible or has just never gotten the chance, I have a feeling he'd really be into (irl) like classic rock or something smooth.

• Cannot look at people with features his wife had the same, down to personality or looks.

• Absolutely dreads deep down without realizing going back to novac when the courier disbands him.

• He would like having books read to him, he's a listener not a reader, likes hearing people's voices just not his own.

• At a point probably had a nickname for his rifle, something like Beth or something that was a joke between him and Manny.

• Manny 1000% at a point tried hinting to boone or even confessing his love for him, either the point never got across or they got over it together. ( somewhat ish at a point )

• In all reality I play him out to be a really sweet guy, which I can imagine and he can somewhat tend to be but he ultimately really doesn't care, he'll kill in order to get what he wants ( so be it revenge or whatever else ) even if he isn't necessarily fond of it.

• At a point, consumed by guilt he forgets what Carla looks like and that eats him up inside, like the teeth gritting soul crushing ache for revenge, and a year or two leads him to completely forget her complexion.

[glacierclear]

dumping fuckboy leon ramblings because i need to post it somewhere.

fuckboy leon would remember all the miniscule details about your life and he'd surprise you. he'd take you out on some shitty date and act like an asshole, and then hold his arm out before you eat your food and he's like "wait, dude aren't you allergic to soy or something? i think its in that."

he'd remember your favorite flower. and he'd huff and groan over you borrowing his sweatshirts but he'd never want to take them back unless its to get them smelling like him again. he'd accidentally say some stupid shitty thing about your appearance because that's all he knows from his friends and when he sees you get upset there's gears that turn in his head like. is that...not normal? why are they mad???? should i be getting mad ????

and you'd fall asleep on him and his entire left side would fall asleep and he'd be annoyed but he wouldn't be able to bring himself to wake you up.

and he'd ruin all your fucking attempts at dating. it wouldnt read as jealousy. not at first. he'd just do some shit. see you hitting on someone and he'd walk up, wrap an arm around you and be like "hey, how's your diarrhea going?" just to skeeve out the other person and you'd get so pissed and ask him why the fuck he did that and he'd just shrug "its funny."

fuckboy leon's epiphany moment would be so cute but it would make me cry.

him realizing he's in love. and he loves you. and what that means. and the inevitable fallout of him dealing with that and all the feelings.

i know he's terrified of commitment. he would not want to go for it. he'd maybe try and say "maybe i can just do FWB for a while and it'll be okay. maybe ill be okay with that".

but it makes him feel worse.

he tries every trick in the book but his book SUCKS.

so he tries to cut you off.

goes distant.

flings himself into other women to try and forget.

it makes him feel worse.

he picks fights with you. "maybe if they hate me i'll move on."

it makes him feel worse.

him finally breaking down at 3am calling you while he's out cross faded as fuck. dumps everything on you.

he regrets it in the morning. he does. he tries to backpedal. tries to say "wow i was sooo fucked up i don't even remember".

but you remember.

and you wont let him get away with it.

he needs you to chase him a little bit. he needs you to reassure him that there's something in him worth trying for, because otherwise what's the point. you're just there to make fun of him, right?

but once he's yours he's yours.

and it'll take a long time to undo all the things he was forced to teach himself. all the ways he was forced to hate himself. ohhh it'd be infuriating but at the end of it all you'll have a soft, sad man who wants to know love and he wants to love you so intimately and he'll do anything it takes to fight for you.

[hkruu]

Yandere CEO x reader who wants to be your sugar baby?

“CHOOSE ME!”— hkr

\\ silly little yandere guy , manipulation(?) , guilt tripping , murder and violence heavily implied , kidnapping , two faced character , reader is gn as usual //

Obviously Yuri wouldn't give up just because you rejected him. A simple "no" will not be enough, he will never stop unless you finally say those words — it's the only goal he's working towards.

Aside from balancing his CEO status from the company, he thinks it's an easy life, thrilling even. But it doesn't come easily, he can't slip up one bit lest he'll fall down from the reputation he's built for the past 2 years.

It simply wasn't worth it.

But for you? Oh how he wishes he could be pampered by your soft hands, guide him, spoil him, sweet talk him — ah how he yearns to be beside your bed, stroking his hair gently as you talk about your stressful day. It's the perfect world he has envisioned for the both of you.

Yuri isn't about to give up just because you said "no".

Yuri would go to insane lengths just to make you look at him. No, he cannot have you looking at some other good-looking woman or man — you must only look at him. He'll whine about it to you and complain, guilt tripping you into apologizing and you having to sweet talk him so that we won't sulk over it.

You think it's hard work but for Yuri it's the opposite.

Never underestimate him, just because he acts like a total puppy around you does not mean that he won't resort to violent tendencies. Mind you Yuri is a CEO — he has learned all the ways the world works, you need to work hard for the thing you want.

"P-please let me go! I did nothing!" The person screamed angrily, struggling to get out of the chair they've been tied up to.

"Nothing? Why are they ignoring me then?" Yuri looked down at the unfortunate individual, if they hadn't interrupted his precious plan he would've been in their arms by now.

His gaze was piercing before continuing into the night, the ambience of agony has never sounded better in Yuri's ears. It was a pleasure to hear every time he got the chance to do it, whether by kidnapping, torturing, making them commit — it was wall fun.

But you still say no to his advantages.

Why can't you understand that he just wants to be taken care of? It's such a simple request, you don't have to have sex with him, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.. Yuri doesn't understand.

Yuri is practically crying in front of you, confessing his undying love to you. "Here I am, putting effort into this whole thing while you just bask in my attention.. do you even appreciate things I do for you?" He'd say while sobbing.

Yuri needs you can't you understand? He'll beg you for it, he'll get on his knees. Yuri is desperate and once he gets everything he wants, it's sure that you'll never ever get away from him ever again.

He'll take everything in his hands, make you feel insecure, he needs you to be emotionally dependent on him — that way he'll be the only person you'll turn to when you need someone. You don't need your family, siblings, friends, co-workers, just Yuri.

Yuri assures you that he'll never leave your side just make him yours, take care of him, spoil him, make him happy. It's what he deserves, he went through so much yet you still don't appreciate him? What's wrong with you.

Are you that ungrateful? Be an angel and just say yes and accept his proposal.

Yuri built this dream brick by brick but you broke it down, he will keep rebuilding it for an eternity until you finally accept your role in his story.

Pamper him go ahead, he won't complain. Spoil him all you want, he'll be your doll who will sit still and look pretty for you to look at. Just make sure you don't lose interest, he'll make sure you'll only look at him.

"Have you considered it yet?" Yuri causally asks you, smiling brightly. It was hard to imagine this hard-working CEO to be someone different, he was someone you could trust.

"I'm still thinking about it.." You sheepishly say to Yuri, you don't know why you suddenly feel like a thousand daggers are piercing through you as if there will be consequences to your own actions.

"Please think about it hard. You'll never regret it." He smiles at you.

\\ ahh sorry if it's a bit short ;; I rushed this one because I was behind my writing schedules (I was supposed to post this way earlier). I think this is one of my worst writings yet but uhh I rlly like the story idea! //

[blossoming-mind-palace]

Chung Myung SFW Alphabet

Decided to separate this from the original NSFW post bc I wanted to see how it performs engagement-wise. I'll leave a link to the NSFW one at the bottom, and I'll probably do the same for the rest of them.

TW: Alcohol and mentions losing people

SFW Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

I feel like his favorite ways to show his affection would be through acts of service and words of affirmation. His acts of service are domestic acts like making your plate or saving booze for you at the dinner table. When it comes to his words he makes sure to tell you he loves you at least once a day, because you never know what day will be your last.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Mount Hua's most mischievous duo. You can read each other's minds and go out for drinks regularly.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Likes to be the big spoon or to be tangled up with you. He also like being the little spoon when he's feeling vulnerable.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He didn't get to marry or have kids during his past life, so I feel like he'd want to settle down in this one.

When it comes to cleaning he's decent. If I remember correctly his room isn't messy in the webtoon, so he probably cleans regularly. He probably makes his bed after he wakes up too.

When it comes to cooking I feel like he started a couple of kitchen fires when he was learning how to cook. He's a decent cook now though!! I feel like he'd be into meal prepping.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He'd probably be blunt yet respectful. Sorry, but I don't have a lot for this one. I don't like angst.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He's definitely a date-to-marry kind of guy. Hookups and affairs are a waste of time to this old man!! He would probably marry you after around 3-4 years. He really wants to get to know his partner before putting a ring on it.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

When compared to other disciples, he's definitely more gentle with you. He's only rough during training because he doesn't want you to get injured in a real fight.

He's also softer emotionally. The disciples think he plays favorites when it comes to you. (They're right)

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He gives the big ol' bear hugs. He also hugs you more often when you two are alone. He dislikes it when other people gawk at you two. They just can't fathom the fact that the rabid dog can be soft and affectionate with someone.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Due to his inexperience, it takes him a while to realize his feelings for you. Like he feels them, but he doesn't know what they are. He takes a while to tell you that he loves you because this is new territory for him. After the first time, he won't hesitate to let you know that you're loved and appreciated.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He trusts you to be loyal, but he will get grumpy if you spend too much time with someone else. Again he knows you won't cheat; he just wants all of your attention and some brat is stealing it!

If someone's flirting with you he will get pissed. This situation can end in two ways. Way #1 has him showing off that you two are together via physical affection. He wants to rub it in that you're his, and that this person should back off. Way #2 is just him beating the fuck out of that person unless you want him to stop.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He'll give quick pecks on the forehead and cheeks when in public. When in private, he likes to kiss you anywhere and everywhere.

He likes being kissed on his shoulders and lips.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He's really good with kids, and it shocks everyone around him. He likes to roughhouse with them but knows how rough is too rough. He wouldn't forgive himself if he accidentally hurt a little kid.

He also strikes me as the kind of guy who's a strict parent but loves to spoil his grandkids. Is open to having kids or adopting in the future.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Definitely a man with a routine. We already know that he wakes up early, probably makes his bed, trains, and then washes up. He probably eats breakfast after all of that.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

You probably go to bed earlier than him. He trains by himself before bed, and I headcanon him as someone who showers before bed.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He'll try to open up about his past, but he can't be completely transparent. He just doesn't know how people would react if they found out he was the plum blossom sword saint. Besides that, he tries to be as open as he can without revealing his identity.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

This is Chung Myung so we already know he's easily irritated. He has more patience with you than the other disciples. Like he'll actually let you tease him and stuff. You'd have to betray or lie to him to make him genuinely angry. Besides that, he's pretty lenient with you.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He's an observant man, so he'd have your favorites, your mannerisms, your opinions, etc. memorized. The kind of guy to remember something you mentioned in passing like two years ago.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

It'd probably be when you get into a fight for him. Like you noticed someone talking shit, things escalated, and you ended up fighting that person and won. He'd like it even more if you defended him on the battlefield. He's probably the kinda guy to get turned on by his s/o fighting.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He's pretty protective of you, and would protect you if you couldn't handle things yourself in battle. He rarely needs to be protected but will find it hot if you try to protect him.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He likes more casual/domestic dates, and he won't put in much of an effort unless you want him to. Normally he doesn't feel the need to woo you unless it's an anniversary, birthday, or if you guys haven't seen each other in a while. On days like that he'll go all out, take you to town, go shopping, take you to a restaurant and order your favorite foods & booze, and then rent a room at an inn for the night.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

We already know he has terrible manners. His ass does not know how to act at the dinner table. He's probably gone to bed smelling like alcohol multiple times. He also likes to hog up all of your free time and wants all of your attention. It's not bad to me (clingy men <3), but I know some people would get irritated by that.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He's not super concerned with his looks. He's a naturally pretty boy despite not having a skincare/haircare routine. He's the kind of guy that washes his face with water and he still has perfect skin.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

After a long-term relationship absolutely! Hell, even if you two were platonic, he'd still be sad if something happened to you. At this point, he's attached to all of his disciples and you're one of them. If any of y'all died he'd feel like he's lost of piece of himself. If you two were in a long-term romantic relationship that'd be amplified tenfold.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He'd love it if you cooked for him. You know those tiktoks where people make cute lunch boxes for their s/o's? Bring one of those to him after his training and he'll want to marry you on the spot. He also likes it when you feed him. Spoil his ass.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn't like people who lie with malicious intent. He'd also be turned off if their partner is controlling.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Good luck sleeping with Chung Myung, because he's a chaotic sleeper. You'll go to bed in a cute cuddly position and wake up with multiple limbs in your face. He's also warm-blooded, so he's more likely to cuddle during the winter. If he lived in the modern day he'd be the kinda guy who always sleeps with the fan on no matter the season.

Also, he old man snores.

NSFW side here! (minors dni) Original template here!

Please lmk if you guys want more :'}

[statisticallymorelikely]

00Q au edit for @ironpe: pre-MI6 relationship

AU where Q and James had a relationship before James was recruited to MI6. After a hasty recruitment, James disappears suddenly, ordered not to contact anyone from his past life, including his lover, the man who would become Q. He's pronounced dead from a botched Naval mission that never happened, and Q goes on to search for him tirelessly for years. Until, one day, they finally meet again, as agent and quartermaster.

---

After one particularly close call, James decides enough is enough. If he can die at any moment, he'd rather do it without any more regrets adding to the pile. So when he goes to return his equipment, he ignores R completely, marches into Q's office and stands right there, locking the door behind him.

Q's mouth opens, but James beats him to it. "I'm not leaving."

"007," Q sighs. "Unless the world is actively imploding, I have nothing to say to you. Kindly return your equipment to your designated handler."

"Alright, Q, you don't need to talk. I only need you to listen to me."

Q stands up, arms folded. Though his demeanor seems guarded, James notes the excessive blinking and the clench in his jaw. "I don't want to listen to any of your excuses, 007."

"No excuses, Q. I'm here to apologize." James lets out a rumbling breath. He can practically hear the grief and regret rattling in his bones, he's tired. "I shouldn't have left like I did. I've broken rules before, could've easily snuck away to contact you. Truth is, by the time I could, I had so much blood on my hands, I couldn't risk staining you. Every day since I've hated myself for hurting you. I'm sorry."

The moments stretch out between them silently, until it's suffocating. When Q finally does break the silence, it's with a whisper. "I thought you died. I've committed treason several times over, hacking into government records just to find you. I didn't want to accept you were dead."

Q looks up at him for the first time, eyes wet. "I grieved you, James, and to find out that you've been alive this whole time--"

James moves closer, but Q holds his hand up to keep him at bay.

"-- and not only that, but to find out you've moved on." Q swallows thickly. "I know about Vesper, James. Do you know what it says in your file?"

He does.

"You almost retired for her. So I suppose I never mattered enough for you to give all this up."

James sighs, defeated. "What can I do to earn back your trust?"

"I don't know if you can." Q hugs himself tightly. "And if you could, this is not the way to do it. You can't just barge in here and ask for things to go back the way they were! This isn't something you can fix with an apology!"

"I know that. I'm not trying for a quick fix, Q, I'm in this for the long run. Whatever it takes, however long it takes, I want to earn your forgiveness, please."

The last word softens Q, the fight dissipating from his posture. "I'll think about it. For now, put what's left of your kit on the table and fuck off."

James nods once, taking the small leather case from his suit pocket and placing it on the desk. "Thank you, Q."

With that, he leaves.

Q opens the case to reveal a gun, radio and electronic lock pick, all fully intact. Despite his better judgment, his battered heart skips a beat.

[apomaro-mellow]

Wrong Number 6

one again i lied and we have probably a couple more parts after this

Morning came, and Steve had never been happy at the fact that his date wasn't lying next to him. He liked to imagine it now though, Eddie lying shirtless in bed, his curls strewn about the pillows. He wondered how far those tattoos went. He woke up around nine, but since Eddie said brunch, he let himself laze about for a bit before rolling out of bed. He had taken the soiled panties off last night, so he was bare from the waist down.

He grabbed a robe and wrapped it around himself, then went to the kitchen to start making something to eat. To his surprise, Eddie started the call. He picked up, smiling as Eddie's face filled the screen.

"Mornin' beautiful."

"Good morning. Sleep well?"

"I bet it would've been even better with you in bed", Eddie said.

Steve heard the familiar sound of a toaster popping something out. "And what are you making for brunch?"

"Pop Tarts", Eddie beamed, reaching over to put them on a plate. "And you?"

"Just a Hot Pocket", Steve said, half-honest.

"Aaaand?"

"....And some toast."

"What kind of bread, Steve?"

"...It's homemade milk bread."

"Aha! Culinare Extraordinaire strikes again!"

"Okay, but I made it days ago and it's just down to the nubbin and I thought I might as well go ahead and use it and-"

"The what?", Eddie interrupted.

"What?"

"Did you just call the end of the loaf the 'nubbin'?"

Steve's toast popped out and he began to butter it. "What do you call it?"

"What everyone else does: kiss bread."

"Alright, you gotta explain kiss bread to me", Steve said as he took his plate to the table.

Eddie was already seated with his food and some orange juice. "Because it-well the two ends...you know I don't know why, but that's what it's called. Not a nubbin."

"Well you can be wrong wherever you are. If you want to change my mind, you'll have to hop on a plane and come here."

"Speaking of...", Eddie started.

Steve raised a brow. "Are you ready to talk about it?"

"I think now is good. Last night my higher brain functions were, let's say preoccupied", Eddie smirked.

Steve crossed his legs, wondering how Eddie would feel if he knew he was currently bottomless. If he was here, what would he do? Probably feel him up under the table...God, it would break his and Robin's rule but he'd let Eddie take him right here in this kitchen if his actions were as good as his words last night.

"You still with me, Stevie?"

"Mmm, I'm thinking that I might need to invest in a few more pairs."

"Baby you could get me to commit murder with the right lingerie", Eddie admitted. The 'right' kind being any kind really. The panties had been a much appreciated surprise but anything that showed off his thick, hairy legs and that bulge would have seduced him thoroughly.

"Could I convince you to meet me somewhere? In person?", Steve asked, batting his lashes without meaning to.

"You can put those eyes of yours away, darlin'. I was already thinking of how we could meet. I really wanna see you. And touch you. All of you, not just your dick."

"Me too. So um, we could probably figure out a good, like middle ground?"

Eddie nodded and Steve was already running the numbers for taking a plane across the country and when he'd have a full weekend to do so when Eddie told him that he not only lived in the same state but in literally just the next town over.

"Eddie...are you telling me that you live thirty minutes away?"

"Steve, are you telling me that my town is thirty minutes away from yours?"

"Are you telling me I could've passed by you on the street?"

"There's a lot of telling-not-telling going on here", Eddie laughed.

"Looks like I won't need a plane ticket after all."

"Not unless you're gonna shell out for a crop duster. We could make it real dramatic", Eddie said. "Picture it. You step out of the plane in a suit and fedora. I'll be standing there, the wind blowing my coat as I run into your arms."

"Sounds romantic", Steve sighed.

"Well if it's romance you want, I might have an idea of where to go..."

While Steve and Eddie hashed out the details of their meeting, Robin came in, looking for pleased for just finishing a 'walk of shame'.

"Hey Robs. Good night with your date, I presume?", Steve smiled.

"Is that the infamous Robin?", Eddie asked.

"Is that the infamous Eddie?", Robin asked right back. She went to the coffeemaker to start brewing a pot.

"I'm told I have you to thank for Steve's outfit last night", Eddie smirked.

Robin stuck her tongue out at Steve in an 'I told you so' move. "You can thank me by not going into details."

"She doesn't like details?", Eddie asked Steve.

"Only when they're gross or embarrassing", Steve answered.

"Hmm, so she wouldn't wanna hear how gorgeous you looked while you were-"

"Lalalalalaaaa! I don't hear this!", Robin sang while waiting for the coffee to be done.

"Oh but I looove hearing it. Tell me more, Eddie. How good did I look when I-"

"LA. LA. LA! If you're gonna be gross, you make my coffee! I'm taking a shower!" Robin shouted her demand while covering her ears and rushing out of the kitchen.

"Don't we know how to clear a room?", Eddie grinned.

"Looks like we won't ever be strapped for alone time."

They talked some more and by noon, Steve had a date to Eddie's axe range next weekend. And damn if the week never felt so long. Even though he was getting more Eddie than ever. They still texted at least once a day, called every other day, and even started following each other on their socials. Steve even stalked the account of Bullseye Axe Throwing just to watch the couple of promo videos that had Eddie in them.

The night before their date, they were talking on the phone, too excited to sleep.

"I can't believe I'm actually going to see you tomorrow." Steve was lounging in bed, looking at his date outfit as it hung on his closet door.

"Me neither. I'm still not totally convinced you're not just some dream made up by AI."

"I don't know whether to be flattered or offended. AI images can be downright scary."

"Take it as a compliment", Eddie said. "I get more points when you like me."

"...And you're still okay with Robin coming?", Steve asked for what must be the third time.

Eddie understood her concern. Meeting someone could be risky, no matter how much you talked. And he was the one that invited Steve to a place filled with weapons. It wasn't the most traditional date spot but Eddie had always dreamed of bringing someone there and showing them how romantic axes could be. Maybe Steve was that someone.

"Baby, I don't mind. I already told you. I'd love to meet the person who has intimate knowledge of your underwear drawer."

Steve blushed. He and Eddie hadn't really done anything since their last date, besides a couple of suggestive texts. He was sure that on Saturday night, all Eddie would have to do is shake his hand and he'd crumble.

"You know if you're good, you'll get to see it all first hand", Steve reminded him, his voice low now.

"Oh I can be good. You know I can be good."

Steve knew very well. So well that he'd touched himself to the idea this past week and after saying so to Eddie, Eddie had admitted the same.

"You shoulda called me, baby", he had said. "We could've coordinated our horniness."

Suffice to say, the anticipation for their first in real life meeting was thicker than a souffle pancake. When Saturday morning came, Steve felt like he was going to throw up. What if Eddie saw him and decided he didn't like him? They'd only seen each other through screens and Steve tried to only let his best angles be seen.

What if he didn't like....what if he didn't like his ears? Or his elbows? Or something else Steve had never even though of? What if he said the wrong thing and wasn't interesting enough?

"I can tell you're spiraling", Robin said from the couch where she was eating cereal and watching the news.

"Eddie is-"

"Just a man. A man who would be lucky to have you."

"Lucky to have me. Eddie would be lucky to have me", Steve repeated like a mantra, then sat next to Robin.

"You're a catch."

"I'm a catch."

"With an ass that won't quit."

"My ass has never taken a day off", Steve nodded to himself. "Okay. I'm good. Any cereal left?"

"Only the health stuff."

"Why do we buy that again?"

"So we can live long enough to grow old in the same retirement home", Robin reminded him.

Steve smiled. She really was his forever girl. And tonight she'd be going with him with what could be his romantic soulmate. No pressure? No pressure.

Tag Team (CLOSED)

Next part

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @estrellami-1 @newtstabber @omletlove @ifyoudonlysurrender @rehfan @morganski-19 @corvidcantina @dragonmama76 @just-ladyme @tinyplanet95 @goodolefashionedloverboi @idoquitelikebread @kittydeadbones @manda-panda-monium @rhapsodyinalto @paintsplatteredandimperfect @keylime-green @ihavekidneys @samsoble @honorarybrit81 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @aizawa-emma @deleataecount @thesuninyaface @fromapayphone @justmeinadaze @hbyrde36 @queenie-ofthe-void @resident-gay-bitch @bestwifehaver @dangdirtydemons @ellietheasexylibrarian @perseus-notjackson @pyrohonk @holysteddie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @mrsjellymunson @geekymagicalpotato @notaqueenakhaleesi

[hanafubukki]

Fake dating with Sebek where it starts with Lilia and Malleus wanting to give him a little push into a new experience, so they tell him that they won't allow him to attend 'x' event with Malleus unless he is courting someone by/during that time. They don't even plan on enforcing it- of course they'll bring him with no matter what.

And Sebek is flip-flopping because he'll throw a tantrum to go with no matter what and why should he get a date just in order to join his liege? But at the same time, it's this very liege who is asking him to find a date and he doesn't want to disappoint him. And it's the latter that wins out- sort of. He approaches you to fake court him. Of course it won't be real, it is simply to appease his master and make HIM happy. He's all smiles when he reports to Malleus and Lilia that he has found someone to court and give them your name when they ask who. But wanting to tease him some, they tell him they look forward to seeing the two of you be coupley. Which makes him panic slightly. He didn't think he'd actually have to- to SHOW them. It should be fine if you take the lead, right? You can fawn over him while he still focuses on Malleus. And that's how it kind of turns out- you let him stay himself while you play the part of the loving girlfriend, which became more and more real the longer it went on. You started seeing different sides of Sebek, finding out more of how his thought process worked- and he was unconsciously gravitating towards you as well. He'd hold the door open for you without realizing it. Instead of walking away once HE'S done talking, he'd wait for you to finish so you could depart together. It'd become natural to sit next to you at lunch instead of you pretending to pout and ask why he wasn't sitting next to his girlfriend.

Sebek didn't notice these changes, though. So when the day of 'x' event came, he went over the plan with you again. This was the last day of being 'together'. If questioned, you'd say it was a mutual decision to break it off. That you just weren't right for each other. He went into the event with you on his arm, and he left without you. The next morning he woke up, ready to being the day like any other from before the fake dating happened. It should be no problem. He hadn't been committed, it wasn't a real relationship- he had nothing to recover from. But things felt off regardless. He found himself making a comment and looking to his side to see if you'd heard him, but you weren't there. Of course you weren't. He'd sit down for lunch but not eat, and when asked why he'd automatically respond that he doesn't eat until you have sat down as well (Lilia reminds him that you won't be there. You broke up, after all). He goes to bed at his usual time, but it feels too early as he had gotten used to having a small conversation before you'd leave his room to back to ramshackle. He started missing you. Your smiles, your comments and opinions, when you'd lift your snack to his lips to he could have a bite, the conflict of whether to feel insulted or embarrassed when you'd give him the occasional doodle you drew of him and Malleus together, or just himself. The reliable presence he would stand by whenever you shared a class together, getting to show you his impressive skills, having to pull you out of the way of something so you don't trip...

You're both back to where you were before, but it doesn't feel better.

…Anonie!! Come back!! You can’t do this to me. I was grinning happily at the cute antics and then you left it there!!

I woke up to this and was reading this expecting a cute ending or something but you ended it there 😭😭

It would be Malleus and Lilia who would mess with Sebek like this wouldn’t it? Sebek would take it to heart and try his best 🥹 and something tells me they know that it was planned, but can see him fall for you. And now are waiting to see him realize it too and get you back 🥹😭 (Lilia is taking bets I tell you 😂)

The way he would open the door for you, wait for you, sit next to you, and then he wouldn’t eat until you came!!!

Him just so used to your presence.

Sebek out here being the best husband 🥹💞💚

ANONIE COME BACK, don’t leave me like this 😭💔

[captainsophiestark]

Rock Solid

Enzo St. John x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: TVD/TO

Summary: Enzo's SO roped him into joining a Mystic Falls scooby gang game of truth or dare, and the rest of the Mystic Falls group is having trouble believing just how healthy their relationship is.

Word Count: 1,193

Category: Fluff, Humor

A/N: I know not all of the characters mentioned in this were present/on speaking terms at the same time in TVD, but I don't care. We're ignoring the timeline and going for vibes.

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Okay, truth or dare?"

I could tell Tyler was up to something across the circle of our friends, but I wasn't sure what. I hummed, thinking for a moment before deciding to play it on the safer side. I'd known Tyler for most of our lives, and if he had a grin like that on his face, I didn't want to know what dare idea might be causing it.

"Truth."

Damon booed from across the circle, but Tyler and I ignored him. To my surprise, Tyler's grin actually grew as he asked his question.

"What's the biggest secret you're keeping from Enzo?"

I frowned, but not because I was upset at the question. My boyfriend, Enzo St. John, was sitting next to me, his arm around my shoulders. I'd dragged him to this party with my old Mystic Falls friends, and he'd given me some raised eyebrows and eyerolls at the idea of playing truth or dare. But, for me, he'd been a good sport about it. Because he loved me, and he knew it would make me happy while costing him relatively little. We had each other's backs like that.

Which is why I had absolutely no idea what Tyler was trying to do. Amongst the secrets, lies, and manipulations that had become the norm for my group since vampires got involved, Enzo and I always told each other everything. We didn't keep secrets from each other, unless maybe one of us was planning a surprise party, and frankly, I thought it was the main reason we were in a happy, committed relationship without the drama the rest of our group kept going through.

"Uh..." I said, stalling for time while I racked my mind. It seemed like Tyler was fishing for a specific answer, but I had no idea what it could be. After another few moments of thinking, I shook my head and dropped my gaze back down to meet Tyler's. "Honestly, I can't think of anything. I know that's not really the point of this game, but... I don't have any secrets from Enzo."

Right on cue, our entire friend group groaned and rolled their eyes. Also on cue, Enzo leaned down to kiss my temple with a smile. I turned to smile back at him, leaning closer into him and resting one hand on his thigh.

"Okay, there's no way you guys are actually this perfect," Caroline said, sitting up a little further from her seat beside Tyler. "There has to be some moment or lie or something that you haven't told him. What about that time at the bar...?"

"The one where we saw Kol and Klaus? He knows all about that."

Caroline narrowed her eyes at me.

"He knows all about that?"

"Yeah, Caroline," I replied, leaning forward and raising an eyebrow so she would hopefully get my meaning. "All about it."

My look must've worked, because Caroline promptly went bright red as her mouth dropped open. She glared at me, her voice raising in pitch as she spoke again.

"Are you serious? You told him about that?"

"Yes! Sorry, but... yeah, I did!"

Caroline huffed and flopped back into her seat, and I didn't need to look at my boyfriend to know he was grinning. I'd gone on a weekend trip to New Orleans with Caroline a few months ago, and we'd run into Klaus and Kol at a bar. Kol had spent some time hitting on me, but I'd shut him down, and we eventually ended up spending the night bonding and commisserating over the people we'd come to the bar with, who'd snuck off into the back to make out in a closet or something. I'd told Enzo everything, from the flirting to the shift to friendliness to Caroline ducking out with Klaus.

"Well what about some of the plans we've put together?" Elena chimed in, shifting in her seat next to Damon. "Like some of the things we all came up with before you started dating, when he was still working with the enemy?"

I shook my head. "...No, I told him about all of that after we started dating. And he told me about all of his pre-dating plots, too."

"Well what about-"

"I actually have a confession," Enzo broke in. Everyone stopped dead to look at him, and I turned to face him with a raised eyebrow. He continued, keeping his attention on my friends. "I know the question wasn't directed at me, but-"

"This works too," said Tyler, waving him off with a grin. "Whatta ya got?"

Enzo cleared his throat, then turned to meet my eyes. His expression was serious, and I could tell the rest of the room thought this was going to be a massive bombshell, but I honestly couldn't get myself to buy it. I just waited, letting Enzo build up to whatever it was he wanted to say.

"...I ate the last piece of cake last week."

I gasped, hand to my heart and a scowl instantly on my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw all our friends rolling their eyes and groaning, but I ignored them.

"Enzo! How could you?" I delivered the line like he'd just told me he'd slept with my best friend. "This is a betrayal! A stone-cold, unforgivable betrayal!"

"Alright, we get it!" Tyler broke in, giving us the tone equivalent of an eyeroll. I ignored him.

"Unless..." I said. Ezno raised his eyebrow, and I took a deep, dramatic breath. I barely managed to hold back a grin and stay in character. "I have a confession too. I was lying before, there is something I'm keeping from you."

"Boo!" called Caroline, as Damon hurled a pillow at the two of us. I ducked behind Enzo, letting it hit him, and the two of us quickly returned to dramatic form as it bounced off.

"I... told you the coffee I brought you last night was regular, but it was decaf. I know you're a vampire, but holy shit babe, it was two in the morning and you were drinking it for the taste, not to stay awake. You were trying to drink black coffee and go to bed. I couldn't just stand by."

"...I noticed. But it was adorable and thoughtful of you, so I didn't mention it."

I gasped again. "You bastard!"

That was the absolute limit of what Enzo and I could get through without dissolving into a fit of laughter. He moved his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him, and I laid my head on his chest as I laughed my ass off. Half of our friends were glaring at us while the other half smiled fondly, but Enzo and I couldn't have cared less.

Leave the shitty drama and backstabbing to the rest of the supernatural world. Enzo and I were rock solid, and neither of us was ever going to let anything change that.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen @misshale21

TVD/TO Taglist: @elenavampire21

[river-fisher]

Okay, so I was thinking of coming up with a "Fulbright is alive" AU of my own, and I ended up rambling about my ideas to a friend, so y'all get an edited down/tidied up version

Allow me to introduce to you.... the Investigator Fulbright AU! Yes, it is inspired by the lies of the phantom! As much as I love the Fulbright we meet in game before the reveal, I wanted to try out something different. I'm honestly surprised this isn't a thing yet (as far as I've seen) >>

Ramble under cut!

So, let me explain the timeline

During the ~dark age of the law~, Fulbright became disillusioned from the justice system. Justice is his main motivation - he wants to make the world become a better place, to help people. When the system shifted to actively work against that, with all the false arrests, evidence, convictions? I don't think Fulbright could take the injustice. He, as an enforcer of the system, would actively be complacent to all those things. So he resigned.

For a while, he shifts between jobs, none fulfilling his need for justice and field work. I think one day, he gets roped into a private investigation, which, when solved gives him the same rush he felt when he was a detective. He opens his own obscure investigation business. He didn't expect it to do as well as it did - the ~dark age of the law~ made common folk distrustful of the system, so if a person went missing or if someone needed closure from a case that was handled poorly in the courts, they came to him. He even got lucky enough to be able to pick his clients carefully, to weigh the morality of what he's doing - he'd rather skip a case and eat cheap food for a while than contribute to the already awful system.

Actually, being an investigator was almost better, in some cases, for Fulbright. The lack of regulation and restrictions allowed him to come to conclusions not solely based on evidence, but on other things as well, things that wouldn't be admissable in court (such as emotions, subtle nervous tics, etc). He spends a couple years like this, his business being decently successful.

One day, however, he gets this recurring client. Always anonymous, very careful about any information they share. Fulbright is cautious, of course. The client needed information on various people's schedules, habits, etc. It seemed decently innocuous though - none of the people he tailed faced any harm.

Yes, you guessed it! The client is the phantom. I mean, I can't make an AU and not include him, y'know? So yeah, the phantom is careful to pay in Fulbright's regular rates to avoid alarming the investigator. He hires Fulbright for a couple different reasons: having a different perspective on the people he's going to impersonate is very useful, it saves him a lot of time and effort, and it gives him more information on Fulbright - The person that is essential for his plan to get his psych profile back.

We know that the phantom was being taunted by Blackquill, and like... I don't think the phantom takes on long impersonation missions often. It's kinda a waste of resources imo, especially if he's doing it unemployed. So unless we reason that he was finding information from the police while impersonating Fulbright, I think it's more fun if we force him to collaborate with Fulbright! And that's precisely what I intend for this AU.

The phantom comes up with a plan to have Fulbright collaborate with him. I enjoy the headcanon that Fulbright doesn't have family around or like. super close friends, so hostages don't work. He isnt the type to give into money either. So, whats left? I might think of something different later, but for now, I'm thinking that the phantom could simply impersonate Fulbright while committing a crime. Get some evidence of it, and boom, blackmail!

Anyway, Fulbright is forced to join the force again. As an Investigator, he learned to manage his emotions better, but in the force, he tries to portray himself as though he hasn't changed much. He's a bit clumsy on cases now too, having become rusty with all the protocols and evidence based arrests.

He isn't entirely upset about the arrangement, despite the fact that its completely unjust. its nice being on the force again, being a detective again. He did miss it at times, since being a private investigator wasn't exactly lawful at times.

Moving along, when it's announced that Blackquill is going to be a prosecutor again and needs a trusted detective handler, Fulbright jumps at the opportunity. Of course, it's mostly because he has to, but having had some time to research Blackquill, the old UR-1 incident felt off. From the time as an investigator, he knew to trust his gut, even if he didn't have the evidence to prove anything.

He gets the job because 1) most people are scared of ~the twisted samurai~ and 2) because Fulbright has experience as a private investigator, aka, people trust him enough to come to him. Being trustworthy and dependable are very important qualities when handling a criminal, no?

Anyway, from here it could branch off in a couple different ways depending on your preferences (Blackquill and Fulbright's relationship wise.), so I'm not gonna ramble about that here.

Going timeline wise and ignoring all that for now, i think fulbright tries to find out more about the phantom. I mean, although he's being blackmailed, he's still aiding a criminal. No way would Fulbright take kindly to that.

I do think that most of what Fulbright is forced to do isn't a crime though. I think the phantom would be clever enough to not push him to his breaking point. Also, the phantom is a paranoid fuck and would not leave any important tasks to someone else. He'd rather just impersonate Fulbright for the few times he needs to.

Anyway, in the final cases, I think that the phantom would take over for the investigation parts, but wouldn't be the one to testify in turnabout for tomorrow, simply because he wouldn't risk his life like that. Everything turns out pretty similar with the phantom being revealed, the truth coming out about UR-1.

I think it'd be fun if Fulbright got shot anyway though, because the phantom got shot at the chance of him yapping about the organisations he works for. Well, Fulbright has evidence of the phantom existing, which is pretty threatening too.

But I also just want him to get shot so so bad HAHA

Anyway, yeah! That's what I have regarding the outline of this AU. I have some daydreams etc in my brain as well, but nothing concrete enough to express for now. I hope my silly little ramble was fun to read :)

[thelonelyshore-if]

Don't know if you will see this, but the drabbles are making me think about the ROs a lot, so I wanted to do question about something that probably won't come up in the actual story (...unless?). Say that the MC proposes to the ROs, how do they each react?

Ohhhh I love this prompt. Thank you Nonnie!!

Beck- is nooooot ready for that kind of commitment. Dating is already almost too much for them. Idk if they'd say no in the moment--they care so deeply for MC and want them to be happy. They would WANT to be ready for it, if that makes sense. They'd have a total deer in headlights type expression. But I think they'd get more and more skittish about it as time went on. Unless they had done a lot of growing as a person I...don't think it would end well.

Croft- flustered and surprised. It's something that they would literally never see coming, regardless of if they and MC had been together for years or for months. They'd say yes, but after a lot of "wait--are you sure?!". They wouldn't want to actually get married until they're out of Easthaven--they want their parents there--but they'd be an absolute beast at wedding planning. Would be very very happy about it all.

Jay- surprising nobody they'd be absolutely over the moon giddy. So long as they'd been dating MC for long enough that it didn't seem too soon Jay would be all over it. They love the thought of being married and would say yes on the spot. I could also see it being a "MC proposes and Jay brings out their own ring they were planning on proposing with" sort of scenario. Regardless--a lot of laughing and crying and kisses.

Perri- completely shocked for several long seconds before they'd instantly break down into tears lol. Would probably just be like "You want to marry me?!?" Definitely a lot of asking MC if they're serious and if they're sure. But once they got over the surprise they'd be so goddamn happy about it. Perri is a romantic, they love being in love.

Ravi- is the only RO who might actually say no upfront :) Not out of lack of love or desire to get married though. He just...doesn't know if it would be a good idea. He doesn't want to break MC's heart someday. He doesn't want his own heart broken. Would be completely stone-faced and cold, very distant. And then he'd break down crying later, in the privacy of his office.

Yasmin- she'd also be hesitant but would be equally as thrilled. She's done the wedding thing before and once she got over the trauma of it all I think she'd just be like "okay let's do this right now". She's happy to do a big white wedding again but would personally just want to do the thing. Would definitely kiss MC on the spot when they asked though.

[the-lisechen]

~5.7k. copia/f!oc. rated gen. she's a bride-to-be of christ. he's sworn in service to satan. they have dinner. 2/2

(banner and unwavering support by @enjoy-my-swearing)

find part one here and here!

say it slow and perfect, chapter 2/2 - ao3

Copia slid in the other side, and Sophie turned her head to look out the window, unprepared for just how close he was on the faux-leather bench seat. Two handbreadths away. She wasn't actually seeing anything outside, her brain gone to static and an alarm both formless and very loud. He was saying something to the driver, her brain couldn't quite process what, while old soul music warbled on the radio. Sam Cooke? Something smoother than Otis Redding, in any case. It was the perfect Lynchian touch to her unfounded panic. His sudden proximity. That cologne, leather and smoke, with an underlying sweetness that could have been vanilla or myrrh. 

He'd been speaking. He'd been speaking to her.

"--Have you been to Charleston before?"

"No." She thought she'd recovered without the lapse being immediately obvious. "No, not here. I'm from Appalachia, this here's low-country. Different flavor of south."

"Appalachia?"

"No, no. It's Apple-latch-uh. You say Appa-lay-chia, I know not to take your opinion seriously."

"Your American South, this is a strange place, I think. A country in and of itself. Certainly it is where we get the most trouble. Yet you speak of it as if you love it."

"I do. I do love it, it's home. Even if it wasn't, there isn't anywhere in America I'd rather live."

"Even with the continual human rights violations, and the racism, and the outright hatred?"

"Even with that. But that isn't--"

"--isn't all that it is, you are going to say?" His smile was sharp, but fond, she thought. 

She had to turn to look out the window, a little rueful. "Hate to be predictable, but yeah." Maybe she should have stopped herself from talking, but it was a familiar topic, and with him so close, she didn't have quite enough nerve left to restrain herself. "It fails because it's been failed. After the Civil War, the collapse of Reconstruction fucked it up real good. Things were looking up there for a little bit before the Klan really got rolling, we had a bunch of Black legislators, reparations might'a been a possibility, and then Grant backed down on his way out of office, and-- poof. But I love it. I do. The food. The history. The music. The land. The legacy of struggling for something better."

"I sense a pattern, with you," he said, and she looked back to see him watching her with mingled amusement and respect. 

"I'll allow that you might," she said, amicable and implacable. 

He took his eyes off of her, watching the city slide past, and it was a little easier to breathe. "Beautiful and beyond repair. And you won't cut your losses."

"I mean, I figure that if you're committed to harm reduction, makes sense to go to the places that've had the most harm."

"'The least of these.'"

"Yessir, that's exactly right." She sank further back into the seat. Yes, that was definitely Sam Cooke. Swing Low? or was it Mr. Soul? She couldn't place it. "Where you taking me, anyhow?"

"A restaurant, unless I am fundamentally mistaken. It should be close now, I believe it is attached to the hotel in some way."

"Sounds fancy. I don't-- am I underdressed, here? I didn't think to bring--"

"No, you're perfect," he waved her off, thankfully missing how that small turn of phrase hit her. 

She recovered after half a breath, glad he was looking off down the street. "That's kind of you. I clean up pretty fair, though this ain't cleaned up. But if you're sure."

"Ehh, I am quite certain. Ah, yes. Here." The taxi pulled up, and Sophie had a brief stutter of surprise as Copia again got out first, stepping around the cab to open her door. He made an odd aborted little movement, and Sophie realized he had meant to actually hand her out of the car, as if this was some kind of fucked up Austen novel. She found herself both charmed by the intent, and warmed by the restraint. 

She fell into step beside him, and he led her to an old storefront building, a red lantern completely overshadowed by an old hotel with an elaborate awning. The antiquated gaslight spilled over the cobblestoned street, through palm trees, magnolias. 

"Oh, this looks interesting. Where'd you find it?"

"You must let me preserve a certain air of mystery, Miss Turner."

"Would you say that you move in mysterious ways?" she asked, with a grin that could only be described as shit-eating. He groaned and she outright cackled, too delighted to be embarrassed by her decidedly inelegant laughter. Nobody was ever going to describe it as musical. 

"You are too much, signora." But he was still smiling as he held the door for her, and she had to smile back. She stepped through that leather and smoke. Best not to think about it. She took in the restaurant as he spoke to the hostess. Low light, exposed brick, pressed tin ceiling, Peggy Lee on vinyl. A whole Vibe. She decided she liked it. 

A voice broke through her woolgathering. "--have your reservation. If you'll come this way, sir?"

Copia reached out to her, stopping short of cupping her elbow. "You will like this, I think."

She followed, scoping out elaborate cocktails and elegantly plated dishes, stunning artwork on the walls-- bright florals on stark black backgrounds, a whole series of them. The hostess led them up a wrought iron spiral staircase that had to be a bitch to carry cocktails through. Up, and out onto a rooftop filled with fairy lights and trellises draped with sprawling lilac, honeysuckle, jasmine, all framing a stupidly gorgeous view of the harbor. 

Sophie gawked. She'd never been good at controlling her face, but when she caught him smiling at her dumbfounded expression, she pulled herself together. Her cheeks felt hot. It never failed. She'd make a lousy poker player. Well. At least he didn't make any smart-ass comment, other than looking supremely smug, which was comment enough. 

Once the hostess had walked away, she kept her eyes demurely on the menu. "You made a reservation, huh? And you didn't think I was coming?"

She was proud of herself for containing her glee when he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat a bit. "Ehh, well. We wait in joyful hope, don't we?"

"You really do think you're funny." Hard, now, to bite back her grin, but she managed. Somehow. Turned her attention to the menu. "My goodness, where have you taken me? 'Blue cornbread, chicken confit, cheddar cheese and blueberry reduction.' Good God almighty."

"I believe the phrase is, eh, don't knock it," he said, keeping his eyes on the wine list, "until you've tried it."

"I'll admit I'm intrigued. What the hell, I'll give it a shot." She tossed the menu down lightly, and sank back into her chair. Absurdly comfortable, odd for outdoor furniture. The space had a couch as well, a low coffee table, scattered chairs, and-- was that a chiminea? She took in the warm lights, the crosshatched trellis, the hanging flowers, the view. Jasmine and lilac. "This is," she said, "incredibly nice. I'd never go somewhere like this on my own. So, y'know," she darted a sidelong look at him, a little shy. "Thank you."

"Hmm." He smiled, and something in it made her safe. "You are very welcome, Miss Turner."

She nodded, once. She was safe, here, with him. It was as if something had been decided, and-- 

--the waitress came for their order. Pork shoulder for him, the blue cornbread chicken monstrosity for her, and she kept her face fairly steady when he quietly asked for a bottle of a Paso Robles '17 Zinfandel. So they were going to be here for a while. That seemed alright. 

"Where were we? Mysterious ways, I think."

"Just so. tell me-- Dominican, was it not?"

"That is correct, yessir. By way of the Maryknoll Sisters."

"Hm. what is the process like? The-- how is it. Formation, I believe it is called? I understand that this takes some time."

"It does. It certainly ain't for everyone. Different orders do different things. Jesuits, they take seventeen years sometimes. Masters degree just in theology, not to speak of whatever other kinda specialty they got going on. Jesuits are hardcore. Dominicans ain't so bad, in comparison."

"Ah, but we aren't speaking of the Jesuits. It's you I'm interested in, Miss Turner. The Dominican order. You said Maryknoll? Your formation, your process. How did you come to this?"

"Well. Me personally-- discernment took a while, but that's different for everyone. I was in the congregation for a year, communal living, you know? And that was a learning curve, right there. Formation itself generally takes two years," she smiled, a touch wry. "I needed two and a half. Not always the brightest bulb, but if you can pound a concept into this thick skull, it tends to stick."

"I highly, highly doubt that. There is a level of modesty that borders on disingenuous, you know. And you haven't answered my question. Why this? Why a Rule. Couldn't you find an easier way to serve your God?"

"I found it, I dunno. Elegant. It's spare, but in that spareness there's room to maneuver. Like a sonnet, you know? The inherent structure of the thing makes a framework, but within that framework you can do anything. It's the structure that holds it together, and it seemed to me that-- in that way, you could make your life art. Into prayer. You understand? It's like--" and she gestured at the hatched trellis holding the jasmine vines up-- "you see this? How it grows on this framework. It seemed to me that the best way to get closer to God would be to climb a ladder that other people had found to be reliable. And I think that all my life, I've really wanted nothing more than to be closer to God."

"Are you?" he asked, his eyes soft but assessing. "Closer to your God?"

The waitress came with their order. Sophie was grateful. Copia leaned back, letting her go, for now, with murmured thanks to the waitress. He poured the wine while Sophie took the first dubious bite of this blue cornbread concoction-- and froze.

"This is the best thing I have ever put in my mouth."

Copia blinked at her and grinned, as if she'd made a particularly good joke. "Is it, now?"

"Oh, yeah, here, you gotta try this." She pushed the plate at him, gratified when he picked up his fork, and even more so when he stared at her. "Right? This was a great choice, well done."

"You see why I am known for my impeccable taste," he said, wiping his mouth with great gravitas, as she barked a laugh. "This is, what? You call this collard greens?"

"Yeah, that'n might be more of an acquired taste, you'll have to let me know what you think."

"Hmm." He busied himself with fork and knife, and they applied themselves to the very serious business of food. Which was, as bitter as she could be about a certain class of gentrification, phenomenal. She just about thought she'd gotten away with it, when-- "I do notice, signora, that you have dodged my question. Do you feel closer to your God, in your discipline?"

She chewed at that really marvelous blue cornbread dish, giving herself time to solidify an answer. "I think," she said, carefully, "I would say that I most clearly feel God when I am acting in service to His children." She sat back with her glass of wine, and at his raised eyebrow, she continued. "Look, if you're asking me if I hear His voice or something, I dunno what to tell you, except it's not for the likes of me. That's for mystics and possibly schizophrenics. All I know about God is love for His creation. Anything else is above my pay grade. What, you gonna tell me Satan speaks directly to you every night?"

"And what if I did?"

"Then I'd thank you kindly for the meal and a lovely evening and back away slowly till I got far enough away to run."

"Yet you will dedicate your life to this, eh? A nun. A bride of an intangible Christ you will never hear, or see, or feel."

"You wanna get technical about it, I'm not gonna be a nun-- that's for the contemplatives. I can't imagine spending my life in a convent. That there's a level of discipline I can't even wrap my head around. No, I'll be what's called an active sister. Out in the world."

"So you are not a Julian of Norwich, contemplating from your cell, merely tugging on the strings of the outside world."

"No, not an anchorite. I'm not much of a theologian, be honest with you-- more about praxis than theory." She picked up her glass and stared into it, swirling the contents as if she'd find an answer or an out there. "No. I am-- will be-- a missionary." And why had that word been so hard to get out?

She dared a look up to his face and saw why. Something like loss, or horror-- she had such a hard time reading him sometimes-- but the dismay was there before he wiped it away. "Ah." It was his turn to look down, although he recovered admirably. "Laying aside the, eh, colonialist implications--"

"Thank you for that."

"--a missionary to where?" Was she imagining the tension in the tilt of his head?

"Colombia, probably. Healthcare, food insecurity, that sort of thing. Not a lot in the way of conversion, if that's what you're thinking. Already a Catholic country, not much there to convert. I'm going to learn, not to proselytize."

"No, that doesn't-- it wouldn't seem to be, ehh. Your objective." His eyes wouldn't stay on her face. He fussed with the stem of the wine glass. "It is far from home."

"Yes. It will be that."

"And yet you are not afraid."

"Oh, I'm terrified, I can't even get my head around it yet."

"That, I would not have guessed." He looked up from under his lashes at her, oddly coquettish. "You do not think your God will protect you?" And by now she could catch the smile he was biting back. 

"Don't be an ass. Ain't like that."

"What are you afraid of, then?" It seemed an honest question, not unkind. 

She turned the glass under her fingers, a quarter turn, half. "...failure, I guess. There's a certain amount of trust implied, job like that. One tries to keep one's word, you know? And there's a degree of responsibility that you take on."

"Of course. But how are you defining failure? I have a hard time picturing you shirking your duties."

"Mm. That's kind of you. It comes back to service, I suppose. I wouldn't want to not be able to take care of the people I'm there for."

"Service I understand. Responsibility for your people. They've been entrusted to your care, yes? Your-- is it a congregation if you are not officiating the liturgy?"

"We can call it that, for lack of a better word." She watched the candlelight, took a slow sip of her drink as she screwed up the courage to look him in the eye. He'd been watching her, intent, and meeting those mismatched eyes with sincerity left her feeling exposed. "They love you. Your people. That crowd."

"They do."

"Your flock."

"'Flock' implies sheep, Miss Turner. And we are not that."

"As you like. Still, the responsibility of it-- it must be a strange weight to carry."

"It is. But there is also, I think, gratitude. For the trust, just as you say. I care for them as best as I am able." Being the focus of that incisive and mismatched gaze wasn't going to stop being unsettling, she thought. Even if he was smiling. Maybe especially then. "Are you asking a Satanist for advice on pastoral care, Sophia?"

"Just because it isn't my ministry doesn't mean I don't recognize it for what it is. You're good at it." She watched him react to that, the infinitesimal widening of the eyes, the drop of his mouth, before he filed it away. "You are. I just got done watching you taking care of your people. I wouldn't bullshit you, not on this."

"I think you are perhaps incapable of bullshit." Dry, and a little arch. He wouldn't meet her eyes, shifting in his seat. "You know, a focus on the individual does not exclude one from taking responsibility. They belong to nobody but themselves, of course. But as you say, you've seen them. How can I not give what I can, in the face of that?"

"Because you're a good person, probably. Look, I--" She was drawn up short by the look on his face, the plain bafflement. "What? What is it?"

"It is-- not what I would have suspected, from a committed Christian."

"Why on earth would you think that? I think you're wrong, that doesn't mean I think you're bad. When did I ever say otherwise?" She sat back, surprised at just how badly that stung. "Did you really think so little of me?"

"Ah." Whatever the look was on her face, it made him drop his eyes. "I--. Ehh, it, it may be that I have some-- preconceived notions. Not so little of you, no. What it is that you represent. Your Church." He glanced up at her, briefly, and then back down, took the glass in both hands, maybe just to occupy himself. "You are-- you have been a surprise to me."

"I can't say that I was expecting this, myself," she said, a little dry, still smarting from the implication. "Certainly not how I pictured the tail end of my postulancy." She took a sip from her glass, buying herself a little time. It really was a good Zinfandel. 

"And yet. You do think I am damned to Hell. Don't you?"

"Is this some kinda self-flagellation thing for you, right now? Because I feel like you're horning in on territory my people traditionally occupy."

"You are unusually open-minded, but surely, there are some things you cannot  condone. I don't understand how you can believe what you believe and still be here."

She tapped her short-cut nails on the wine glass. "...you heard of Gregory of Nyssa?" He shook his head, and she continued. "You'll like this one. Or you'll be so offended you'll throw me out, not sure which." She took another sip of the wine, leaving perhaps a swallow left in the glass. "So he has this theory, yeah? A little logic exercise. If God's love is infinite, and if eternity is infinite, then, it just stands to reason-- 'no being created by God will fall outside of the Kingdom of God.' Universal reconciliation. In the fullness of time, everyone gets saved. Just might take some folks longer than others."

"That is. Tremendously insulting," he said, but his eyes sparkled at her. It made her nearly as warm as the wine did. 

"Yeah, pretty sure it's heresy. And free will is kind of an essential part of the doctrine. I think he mighta meant it as a thought experiment more than anything else, but it's a warm and fuzzy thought, isn't it?"

"That everyone will come to your Christ?" He took up the bottle, topped her off with an efficient movement of his wrist while she raised her glass. "I cannot say that it is."

"I don't think that a God that would throw anyone to eternal suffering would be worth following. If that's what I thought, I'd have a duty to rebel." She flicked her eyebrows up at him, mollified by his slow half-grin. "Laying aside that I think that's a pretty mean and shitty and shallow way to think of God-- also I might circle back to this wretched conflation of punishment with justice, though I've been guilty of it myself-- think we're getting a little further afield." He propped her chin on her hand, watching him. "You really need my approval for what you're doing? The pastoral work."

"Need? No. But I would not mind, say, comparing notes."

"I haven't done the damn thing yet, all I got is theory, just at the moment. Also I kinda feel we might have some differences here."

"You think so? How is that?" Maybe it was the wine, or maybe she was finally catching on to one of the kinds of social cues she'd always been abysmal at identifying, or maybe she was just getting a feel for the man-- the way he was watching her, the tension at the corner of his mouth, the banked amusement glittering behind his right eye-- she still couldn't read the white one at all-- he was enjoying this. Winding her up and watching her go. Playing with her. "Other than your God being a tyrannical despot and your Church being the source of incalculable suffering and the true author of every imaginable evil. Aside from that?"

"Tell me, once you get done sacrificing infants and bathing in their blood, is that when y'all start the orgies with the goats? Or is it the other way around?" She did manage to keep a straight face, but it was an effort. 

"Orgy, then sacrifice. Blood gets everywhere, dries sticky, and you very much do not want it near your, ehh-- bits. It is not sexy."

"I'll keep it in mind for the next time I find myself at an orgy. I always wind up so confused at those." She shook her head, tracking the corkscrewing flutter of a bat diving for bugs in the wash of the streetlight below. "Jackass. No, but this is where we actually get to praxis, right? And different situations are gonna call for different approaches, different priorities. How you deal with someone suffering from malnutrition is different from how you deal with someone suffering spiritual malaise, but also one of those things is gonna be a lot easier to detect. I don't get the impression you deal with a whole lot of hungry kids in your day to day practice, so how do you approach it? What's your biggest challenge?"

"Hm." He leaned back, hooking an elbow over the back of his chair, glass in hand. "Day to day?"

"Yeah. Other than whatever crazy shit happens while you're on tour, I imagine that's its own particular brand of difficult."

"It very much is. You would not believe." He rolled his eyes, witnessing some internal horrors, and took a drink of wine as if to clear his thoughts. "In the day to day-- we have a Ministry, yes? And our own kind of monastics. This is where I spend the bulk of my time, when I am not doing," he gestured expansively with the wine glass, "all of this. I think I would say-- Hm. Most people are not raised by Satanists. Primarily my charges are converts, and there is so much internalized-- guilt, I suppose. Shame. Even when you know you have nothing to be guilty about. There is much to deprogram. We do not have confession, as such, but I do serve as a spiritual advisor. They come to me with their fears, their uncertainties. Their... needs." He raised his glass to his lips and lingered, expression neutral, watching her. His right eye was very dark. "I find I spend a great deal of my time helping my people unlearn the idea that there's anything to be ashamed of about desire." As if he didn't know how he looked, with his legs stretched out in front of him and crossed just so at the ankle, his arm sprawled over the back of the chair, the long lean languid line of him. 

Sophie hoped that she kept her face still. She couldn't meet his eyes, couldn't look at that eerie white, how it burned, how it seemed to see so much. The weight of it was almost physical. She focused on his hairline, and kept her voice even. "That must be very challenging." 

"...Yes. Well." He looked down at his glass and she could breathe again, with his eyes off of her. He leaned forward slowly, folding in on himself, to set it down, almost apologetic. "It becomes reflexive."

"I see." It was too much for her. Nicotine was suddenly imperative. A small sharp noise as she set her glass down on the table between them, and she pulled her purse to her, reaching past her sunglasses and a bottle of hand sanitizer for her cigarettes. "How do you-- it's gotta be tough. What I'm having trouble getting my head around, what I'm worried about fucking up, is-- how do you build that kind of rapport? That they feel safe enough to come to you with their problems?" At least she didn't have to look at him, fishing the pack out of her purse. 

"That was not easy. You must seem enough of an authority that you are capable of solving these things, but also approachable enough that they will not think of themselves as-- ehh, bothering you. Or a burden. It is a delicate balance. You must project confidence, yes? Don't let them see you sweat. That was a challenge. Is still a challenge. But people? Trust? There, it is--" He spread his hands. "You just-- pay attention."

"And attention is the highest form of generosity." 

"Just so. Is that... Simone Weil?"

She had to stop, with her cigarette halfway to her lips, utterly delighted. "Copia. Did you actually read Gravity and Grace in between here and Asheville?"

He looked down, straightening the edge of his suit. "Ehh. There was time, on the bus. Not all of it, it is fairly dense, but some."

"I'll be damned." She shook her head, sparking her zippo and bending her head to the light. "Believe I said this before, but it bears repeating: you are very good at your job." The smoke drifted towards him, and between that and the strange expression on his face, she couldn't look at him. She got up and moved to the ledge, downwind, leaning her elbows on the railing, looking over the Charleston skyline, such as it was. Live oak and Spanish moss, streetlights like fireflies in the gloom. It all seemed very Southern Gothic to her, ostentatiously so, the faint sounds of conversation and traffic floating up, a glass breaking and a chorus of drunken laughter. The wine hit her in a rush, warm all the way through and a little unsteady. 

Copia had moved to her elbow, following in her wake. He reached for her cigarette and she passed it, a thoughtless and fluid motion, and it was only after he was taking a drag that she realized she'd done it like they had been doing this for years. It scared her badly, much worse than his heavy-lidded eyes when he had spoken of desire, and she couldn't articulate why. 

"You really think this," he said to the skyline. 

"Why does this surprise you? I'm missing something here, I just don't know what."

He tapped ash off the cigarette, a little fussy. "Most of our people are converts."

"So you said."

"I am not. I was-- it was expected, that I would go into the clergy. I was not called, as you were." And at her look, "I do enjoy it, I am fortunate, as I have said. But it is not, ehh. Second nature."

She took that in for a moment. "I wouldn't have thought you were a man given to much self-doubt. What would you be doing, if not this?"

"Ehhh." He gestured expansively with her cigarette, passed it back to her, and she took it without thought. "Honestly I do not know what. I am, largely, content. Truly, I am, you don't have to look at me like that. But I wonder, from someone who was called-- what is it that makes you say so? That I'm good?"

"Good at this, or just good?"

He shrugged, laced his fingers together, looking out at the city as if he couldn't meet her eyes.

"It comes to the same. It's attention. You pay attention. To your people. To me, and you have absolutely no reason why you should pay attention to me. You're leading them, and it looks to me like you don't even have to think about it, and I don't know if that's because you're a natural, or because you've worked really hard to look like a natural." She took one last drag on the cigarette, resolutely not thinking about how it had been between his lips a moment before. This wasn't the time. "I have seen bad at this, and you ain't that. The leadership-- I don't understand that at all, and it's probably where I'm gonna fuck up."

"Believe me when I say that I have every confidence in you. You will be just fine. Sophie." Something in his voice made her turn to look at him, and his eyes broke her heart. "You are going to be magnificent."

He was so close, she had to tilt her head back to look up at him. It ought to have scared her more than it did. "I. What makes you say that?"

"You care. You care about things so much. You are on fire with it. The light you give off-- I could find you from miles away.  You are so-- you're so warm." The way he was looking at her. And then she was afraid, suddenly. "Who wouldn't want to come in from the cold?" Those mismatched eyes, seeing so much, catching her like a butterfly under glass. 

She had to turn away, before she did something she couldn't take back, put space between them, and never mind that it felt like running. "That's kind. Thank you." She dropped herself on that elegant little couch, feeling shaky. 

Copia was leaning back on the railing, watching her. "Kindness has nothing to do with it. I am right, is all. You'll see. I have faith."

She had to laugh, running her hand through her hair. The drive, the show, the wine, whatever strange thing she'd narrowly avoided, it was all catching up with her. She dropped her head back onto the couch, and closed her eyes. "You are funny."

She felt the other end sink under his weight. "And here I was under the impression that, eh. I only thought I was funny."

"Didn't wanna inflate your ego too much, there." Whatever danger he had posed had passed, and now she was just tired. Tired, and safe, and fading fast. 

"Sophie?" Her name in his mouth. Strange. Vaguely, she had the thought that she liked the sound. 

"Mmm?"

"Are you falling asleep?"

"No, no, I'm fine. Just give me a minute."

"As you like."

The sound of crickets, distant drunken laughter, cars going by every so often, a faint Etta James song. She drifted. 

Some indeterminate amount of time later, someone draped something over her shoulders that smelled like smoke and leather and safety. Turning inward, she  laid her head on something warm, and slept. 

*

Sophie woke gradually, soft peach-colored light the first thing she was aware of. Sunrise over Charleston harbor, ridiculous piles of fluffy pastel color, pink and purple and that orange sherbet that seemed unreal, a frame in a Miyazaki movie. The water reflecting the color of the sky, framed by the scant few blocks between here and the waterfront. It had been an impressive view at night. In the morning it was ridiculous, absurd, a feeling of total unreality. 

The second thing she was aware of was that the warm surface under her head and hand was moving in a slow rhythm. And, it seemed, snoring very softly. 

Carefully, she did not freeze. 

Giving up sex was one thing. It was fine, sex, pleasant enough but not a harrowing loss. You could do without it. At times she would have spells of arousal so intense it was like a thunderstorm rolling in-- impersonal and connected to no actual human or image or sound, passing through her internal landscape with the insensate, thoughtless force of a natural disaster-- but these things passed away just as easily as they had blown in. And anyway she had two good hands. She could take care of herself. 

But this. 

This warm body under her cheek, the tidal rise and fall of his breath displacing her weight by millimeters, a cycle perhaps a third of a second slower than her own. The steady and organic cadence of his heartbeat in counterpoint to her pulse. The smell of him, wool and sun and leather and myrrh and a trace of something sour, like wine, or maybe sweat. The weight of his arm over her rib cage, pressing her closer into him, anchoring her. 

To give this up. The simple animal comfort of being half-held. He didn't even know he was doing it--! To wake up curled into the side of a person you knew you were safe with, who held you in some sort of regard-- intolerable. An unimaginable sacrifice. Too much. 

Well. She didn't have to give it up this instant. 

She lay there, listening to his heart, and watching the colors change in the sky, and carefully did not think about things coming to an end. Until, at last, she heard a sharper intake of breath underneath her, a stiffening of muscles. He froze, and held his breath. She heard his heart rate pick up, felt a featherlight touch over her hair. It lingered, the barest suggestion of pressure, and then she felt him beginning to try to extricate himself. 

"No," she said. 

He went absolutely rigid. "Signora, my apologies, I did not mean to--"

"No, I mean. Can we stay like this? Just for a little while longer."

He settled under her, a slow unspooling of tension. Tentatively, he put his arm back around her shoulders, cautious, as if she were a wounded bird that would try to thrash away if startled. "Anything you wish, Sophie." She felt his voice as much as she heard it. What a thing, to feel a voice. "Nothing you do not."

Together, they watched the light spill back into the world.