#And MAYBE he goes on a personal quest to find himself because MAYBE he starts wondering wether he could ever be with someone like Betty

[supercool-here]

Ok my sins are keeping me up late at night so of course I'm going to post about ysblf. I am not a fic writer, actually I'm not a writer of any kind other than bad, but I really wish I could come up with a storyline in which Armando and Betty develop a somewhat healthy relationship, or at least one in which they get together without having gone through the ordeal of seducing/getting used. I will love reading your ideas, even fanfic recs if you know any. My own theory will be in the tags

[doberbutts]

I'm pulling this out because this shit is funny as hell hold on

Merry and Pippin (2 in 1) actual hijinks and shenanigans of mutual stumbling over each other's first times. Bonus points if they are hours apart. Pippin finds Merry rolling in the hay in the morning, decides he wants in on this and doesn't want to be outdone, finds himself a willing partner, and Merry interrupts them by accident. Comedy gold.

I don't view Frodo as someone interested in sex (boos and hisses from the Sam/Frodo crowd) however Sam I think would similarly be Frodo opening the door to their shared living space after the quest and Sam's, err, "helping" Rosie in the kitchen. Sam stutters an apology, Rosie starts trying to explain, and meanwhile Frodo's just like "really? where we eat???"

Blink and you'll miss it moment between Legolas and Gimli OR the most intense, drawn out, intimate yet tasteful scene with a bonus at the end where Gimli goes "wait wym we're elf-married now". Probably in Rohan, after the drinking contest.

I'm choosing to believe that the scene between Arwen and Aragorn in Rivendell before he left, where she's wearing a mostly translucent shift and he is in a state of far more undress than we've seen him prior and ever seen him again, is a post-sex scene. So just put it there.

There is not a single person who will ever be able to convince me that Boromir did not get mad pussy in Gondor. The same goes for Faramir, who was loved by all except their father.

Gandalf, also, is not a sexual being to me. But with PJ's insistence on highlighting Gandalf's relationship to both Galadriel and Celeborn, I would believe him to be a third in whatever dynamic suits them.. Maybe he and Galadriel have telepathic elf magic ring sex and Celeborn is just like "yeah sure that's fine w/e". This is movie-canon only, of course.

Bilbo also- reclusive, kept to himself, constantly wandering the wilds alone or with Gandalf? Either he and Gandalf are regularly FWB adventure buddies or they're just plain uninterested in the whole deal.

I'm of two minds with Smeagol. On one hand there is great comedy gold with the little fucked up loincloth man and on the other hand there is so much tragedy to his character that I can't decide if it would be funnier to have him still have sexual desires or if it would be sadder to take him at his word when he states that he lost all desire and interest and pleasure in everything except the Ring. Perhaps he attempted to have sex with another Stoor early on in his possession of the Ring, before he was chased away. Maybe someone he had been trying to court, before the murder of Deagol and the subsequent chained events of consequences.

[laneywrld]

futile devices | Lewis Hamilton

request: you have a real talent for angst hehe. can i request one with lewis where he broke up with reader bcs he said he needed a break. but then not long after he was out with other women. the breakup broke reader she turned into a whole diff person. and she was like "i dont think any of that was real" when she talked abt her past with lewis? please tear my heart apart into pieces, im begging you

word count: 2.4k

warnings: ANGSTTT, dissociation, therapy, religious talks.

listen while you read for the full experience:

apple music, spotify

You read something once, it goes, did god create humans because he was lonely or humans God because they were lonely?

Now, you were never strongly religious, enough to go to church three times a week or remember to pray before each meal or bedtime, a part of you wants to believe that there is a God. A flicker of you does feel like, hey, there has to be someone out there pushing my hand like this, there has to be a reason for this.

And that's human nature, needing a reason.

When you don't have a reasonable explanation for things, your mind searches for that reasoning. History shows, that when man knows nothing man creates, look at mythology for an example.

In ancient cultures, the world was filled with mysteries—natural events, life and death, the changing seasons—that seemed inexplicable without invoking a higher power or supernatural beings.

So, what did humans do?

They have created gods and mythical figures to explain phenomena they didn't understand.

In a way it's a beautiful thing, what that has done is infuse our real world with a sense of order and meaning in a world that could often seem chaotic and purposeless.

That is what life is without reasoning, a big fucking question.

Humanity sought not only to explain the world around them but also to find their place within it, weaving their existence into the larger tapestry of the cosmos.

We have an enduring need to seek meaning in the face of the unfathomable, to transform the mysterious into the comprehensible, and to infuse our world with a sense of purpose and coherence.

The point is this, maybe you were blind to it all, maybe your brain forced you to believe it. Forced you to see things as they weren't.

Lewis Hamilton never loved you, he never even cared. You can see that now.

The point is this: maybe you were blind to it all, maybe your brain forced you to believe it, to see things as they weren't. For the longest time, you believed Lewis Hamilton loved you. His charming smile, the way he looked at you, the tender moments you shared—they all seemed so real, so genuine.

But in the end, it was all a façade.

It started to unravel one evening when Lewis sat you down, a serious look on his face. "I need a break," he said, his voice devoid of the warmth you were used to. "I need to find myself."

His words hit you like a punch to the gut. You wanted to understand, to support him in his quest for self-discovery. But as days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, the truth began to surface. The only thing Lewis found was himself under different women.

The news and rumors reached you like whispers in the wind, each one a dagger to your heart.

It boggled you, it really did. How could someone who seemed so loving, so dedicated, turn out to be so deceitful? You replayed your memories, searching for signs, for clues you might have missed. Maybe you were blind to it all, or maybe you wanted so desperately to believe in his love that you ignored the red flags.

There were moments that stood out now, in harsh clarity. The late nights he claimed were for training, the mysterious phone calls he brushed off, the growing distance in his eyes. You had chalked it up to stress, to the demands of his career. But now, it all made sense. It was never about finding himself; it was about finding excuses.

The realization hurt more than you could have imagined. You felt betrayed, not just by Lewis, but by your own heart for leading you astray. The love you thought was real had been a carefully constructed illusion, and you were left to pick up the pieces of your shattered trust.

Did god create humans because he was lonely or humans God because they were lonely?

You were lonely, and you filled that void with Lewis, even if it wasn't real, you allowed him to fill every crevice of your life with a warmth and excitement you had previously been lacking.

It became clear that it's a bad religion to love someone who could never love you back. Loving Lewis had been like worshiping a false god, investing your heart and soul into something that could never reciprocate your devotion.

You didn't know who you were without Lewis.

And that was the problem, yeah you realize now that true love, the kind that is worth believing in, is mutual and nurturing, not one-sided and destructive.

But he's fucking ruined you to the point of no return.

You always thought that those people who let their lives be flipped upside down over a breakup were dramatic. You used to believe that heartbreak was something you could just push through, that it was a part of life everyone had to endure and move past. Yet now, you understood fully. It's crazy how losing someone—or rather, being left by someone you thought loved you—could indeed flip your own life upside down and launch you back further than you knew you could go.

There was no point of return. The realization that Lewis never truly loved you was a blow that shattered your world. The man who once filled your days with laughter and your nights with tender whispers had left you with a void so profound it felt like you were lost in an endless abyss.

Lewis made you lack a belief in everything.

The trust you once held sacred, the love you thought was mutual, the future you had envisioned together—everything now seemed like a cruel illusion. His departure didn't just break your heart; it broke your spirit. You found yourself doubting your worth, your judgment, your ability to ever truly know someone.

You didn't know what was real or fake.

Nights were the hardest. Alone in the quiet of your room, memories would flood your mind—the way he used to hold you, the promises he made, the plans you both had. The betrayal felt like an echoing void, reminding you of the deception hidden behind charming smiles. You felt untethered, adrift in a sea of emotions with no solid ground in sight.

You began to see the world through a lens of skepticism. Where once you saw possibilities and hope, now you saw uncertainty and doubt. Lewis’ betrayal had sown seeds of mistrust in your heart, making it difficult to believe in anything or anyone. The optimism that once colored your outlook on life had been replaced by a grim resignation.

You didn't even know if you believed in God anymore, or purpose, or happiness. Lewis had taken every ounce of reasoning from you. Your brain couldn't decipher what was real or fake.

Was it real or was it fake?

Did Lewis love you or was this a sick game?

Did he love you or were you just lonely?

You didn't know what was real or fake, and it made you feel so fucking crazy.

The questions haunted you, relentlessly looping through your mind.

You replayed your relationship over and over, scrutinizing every moment, every gesture. What was real? What was fake? The uncertainty gnawed at your sanity, eroding the foundation of your life.

The world around you seemed distorted as if reality itself had become an unreliable narrator in the story of your life.

Your faith, which had once been a source of comfort and strength, now felt fragile and distant. You questioned everything you had once held dear, everything that had given your life meaning. Was there a higher power? A divine purpose? The betrayal had not only broken your heart but also shaken the very core of your beliefs.

Purpose felt like a cruel joke. The plans you had made, the dreams you had shared with Lewis, all seemed meaningless now. Happiness, once a tangible goal, now felt like an elusive mirage, always just out of reach. The void left by Lewis's departure was filled with a consuming darkness that threatened to swallow you whole.

You tried to find solace in the familiar, in the routine, but nothing felt the same. Your friends and family offered words of comfort, but their reassurances felt hollow, unable to penetrate the depths of your despair. You were trapped in a maze of confusion and pain, each turn leading you further into the unknown.

There were moments when you questioned your sanity. The line between reality and illusion had become so blurred that you wondered if you were losing your mind. You felt disconnected from yourself, from the person you used to be as if you were living in a surreal nightmare from which there was no escape.

You felt mindless, maybe he had taken your mind with him.

It felt as if your head could collapse at any given moment.

Your family wanted you to try therapy; you weren't yourself. Maybe, aside from taking your mind, Lewis also took the person you were with him. Therapy was hard, and though you've had session after session, you feel the same. Where was the progress everyone promised? Your therapist's voice drones on and on, and you feel like you're watching her from the hollowness like you've taken a backseat to your own life. Every single day felt like you were watching your life from another person's gaze, or like you were sitting inside your brain watching from your eyes, except it wasn't you.

Your therapist is still talking. Nothing she says helps; you want her to shut up as she spews the importance of finding yourself again. You want to scream at her as she preaches about purpose, but when you zero in, you're still quiet, eyes dead and hands folded. You're screaming inside your head, but she keeps talking.

You don't mean to cut her off, or maybe you do, but when the words tumble from your lips, she cocks her head in a way that tells you she's going to have fun studying this session later in the day.

"I feel like I'm not even here," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. "I feel like I'm watching my life happen to someone else."

Your therapist pauses, her pen hovering over her notepad. "That's a significant observation," she says slowly, as if measuring each word. "It sounds like you're experiencing dissociation, a common response to trauma."

You want to roll your eyes at her clinical response, but you can't muster the energy.

"Why does it matter?" you ask, your tone flat. "Knowing what's wrong doesn't make it better. I'm still...gone."

She leans forward slightly, her eyes searching yours for a flicker of connection. "It's the first step," she says. "Understanding what you're experiencing can help us find a way to bring you back. It's not a quick process, but it's a start."

You feel a surge of frustration. "Everyone keeps saying that. 'It's a process,' 'It's a journey,' 'It takes time.' But what if I never get back to who I was? What if I'm stuck like this forever?"

Your therapist doesn't flinch. "It's a valid fear," she acknowledges. "But healing isn't about returning to who you were. It's about integrating your experiences and finding a new sense of self. It’s about moving forward, not backward."

Her words echo in your mind, but they don't penetrate the numbness you feel. "I don't even know who I am anymore," you admit, the confession feeling like a weight lifted and a burden simultaneously.

"That's why we're here," she says gently. "To help you rediscover yourself. To help you heal. It's okay to feel lost right now. What's important is that you're here, trying to find your way."

You sit in silence, her words hanging in the air. Despite your resistance, a small part of you wants to believe her, to hope that maybe, just maybe, you can find your way out of this darkness.

But for now, you're still watching from the hollow place, detached and distant. Therapy might be a lifeline, but it feels like you're grasping at straws. You hope that someday, the promises of progress will become more than empty words, that you’ll find a way to step back into your own life, whole and strong.

But for now, that hope feels unrealistic. All you want is to know what was real. Were you that lonely? You had never felt lonely before him, never felt like a piece of you was missing. Before Lewis, you felt content with life, fulfilled.

The question haunted you. How had you become so dependent on his presence, his validation? You had always prided yourself on your independence, your ability to find joy and meaning in your own life. Friends, family, your work—these had always been enough. So why, after Lewis, did everything feel so empty?

Your mind raced back to the beginning, to the thrill and excitement of new love. You remembered how he made you feel special like you were the center of his universe.

It was intoxicating, a heady rush that blurred the lines between reality and fantasy. You realized now that you had mistaken the intensity of those feelings for something deeper, something real.

In the quiet of your therapy sessions, you wrestled with these thoughts. Your therapist's words often felt like background noise, drowned out by the clamor of your own doubts and insecurities. Yet, there was a part of you that recognized the need to confront these feelings, to understand why you had allowed yourself to become so entwined with someone who ultimately proved unworthy of your adoration.

Were you lonely? Or was it that Lewis had awakened a vulnerability you didn't know existed?

His departure left a gaping wound, exposing the raw edges of your heart. The loneliness you felt now wasn't just the absence of his presence, but the loss of the illusion of love he had created. It was the shattering of a carefully constructed facade that had made you feel whole, if only for a fleeting moment.

As you sat in your therapist's office, the background noise of her voice suddenly halted. For the first time, you murmured a sentence that showed progress, even if it was wrapped in sadness.

"I don't think any of it was real."

the way I just wrote this in 38 minutes, in my dark ass room with the linked song on replay while it's raining. what a great day. I'm really convinced that I can only write angst!

to the anon who called me sad and smutty ilyyyyy 🫶🏽😭 I'm making it my bio

also, I don't have access to the form for the taglist right now, so if you would like to be added or if you already submitted your user, pls just send me an ask with your user pls <3

[theofficialpresidentofmars]

y’know I find it so interesting that often in adapted versions of Hamlet that shorten/change the play extensively, Horatio is usually among the first things to go.

The Lion King, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (to an extent), heck even the Simpsons, all manner of adaptations long and short all without any substitute/notable role for Horatio or a suitably similar character. And I get why. He doesn’t do much on his own that impacts the plot, meaning that hardly any of the actual story beats are missed without his interference.

But I think that just provides a really interesting insight into what his character stands for in the most meta sense of his writing, to be honest; Horatio is necessary, despite being unnecessary. He’s the one who writes the story down in the first place, it’s his to tell- the very first scene starts not with Hamlet’s father’s death or even with Hamlet himself, but with him, Horatio, and at the end once everyone is dead, he’s the only one left to tell the tale.

He’s also the only one who ever sees the full picture. He sees the ghost firsthand, he’s the one to tell Hamlet about it, and in return Hamlet tells him everything. His thoughts, plans, and murder-y boating escapades, Horatio is the only other person to ever know about it all. At the same time, Hamlet hardly ever seems to stick around to see the consequences of his own actions- and it’s Horatio who witnesses them instead. Horatio is the one to take care of Ophelia when she goes mad, the one who sees just how deeply Hamlet has wounded her in his quest for a ‘just revenge’. Horatio is the one to hear Hamlet recount the deaths of his childhood friends to him with something that sounds uncomfortably like pride.

Horatio is the one that’s told by Hamlet that he’s held in his ‘heart of hearts’, the one who’s at the other end of Hamlet’s flattery and admiration, all the while witnessing what becomes of Hamlet’s previous closest companions. His lover. The two men, of whom no other living people he adored more. Supposedly Hamlet held these people closest to his heart, but Horatio is the one to see how Hamlet treats his ‘closest friends’, all while being told by the prince he’s one of them. He wonders what will become of him, surely. He loves the prince, but he can’t help but consider the whole ‘cornered animal’ mentality to be a bit unreliable when he’s seen what he does to the innocent. What Hamlet himself never seems to see, always being off on some boat, or dying, but never sticking around to comprehend the consequences. That’s not his job.

Horatio is the audience. Let in to the most private thoughts, into the sympathetic tendencies of the prince, all while seeing the true and unsavoury parts that keep us from ever truly committing ourselves to the same cause. That keeps us from thinking of him as a good person, despite the fact that we love him regardless. Or maybe we don’t, but we’ve been in too deep for too long to do anything about it.

When Horatio is removed, not much changes. Hamlet loses a confidant, and maybe his mind a bit sooner, but the story still plays out. When he dies, there is no one to hold him as he goes. No one to tell his story as it truly was. Except there is, because we’ve just seen it. In that sort of way, Horatio can never really be removed, only brought offstage. But if the story is told, and if there’s a crowd to view it, Horatio will always be there, somewhere in the audience. Watching. (It’s all he can seem to do.)

[fictionadventurer]

Fantasy retelling of Northanger Abbey:

Innocent young Catherine Morland is overjoyed to have the chance to go to the King's City, leaving her quiet country town for a more diverse and magical metropolis.

Catherine loves reading fairy tales about the dramatic deeds of long-ago fae.

Henry Tilney is a trickster fairy prince who is jaded by a lifetime of dealing with the machinations of the fae courts. He gets amusement out of living among humans and laughing at their follies.

Catherine meets Henry and is immediately awed at his backstory and (metaphorically) enchanted by his charming personality.

For reasons unknown, Henry's father encourages Henry to romantically pursue Catherine. Henry half-heartedly goes along with it, because it's not a bad idea to stay in Dad's good graces.

And then he's shocked to find himself actually falling in love--because Catherine loves him and because she's genuinely innocent and good in a world where he thought such people didn't exist.

To everyone's surprise, Catherine gets an invite to stay at Henry's father's palace.

An actual enchanted fairy palace? How could Catherine say no?

As they're traveling there, Henry plays up all the old fairy tale tropes warning Catherine how to behave. He's joking (things haven't been like that for centuries) but Catherine still takes it to heart.

Catherine hears of the dramatic tale of the life and death of Henry's mother (perhaps a human? So Henry's actually only half-fae?). With her imagination primed by the stories she knows, Catherine starts to interpret faint "evidence" as proof that his mother's actually hidden away under a fate-worse-than-death curse, perhaps just waiting for a pure-of-heart maiden to come break the spell.

Henry catches Catherine during her quest and is amused and a bit offended. Do you know what you're saying? Maybe things like that could happen long ago and far away, but the fairies are Christianized now. Enchantments like that are far too brutal to consider.

She's right that his dad's a jerk, though.

Not long after this, Henry's dad sends Catherine away in disgrace. He had heard that Catherine was the Chosen One of a prophecy and wanted her to increase the power of his kingdom. He's shocked to learn it's not true (you mean humans can lie?), and in his anger he's harsh in sending her away.

Henry refuses to abandon Catherine and gets himself banished for refusing to give her up.

He shows up at her ordinary home and declares his love and they live happily ever after.

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, so, this will be a stream-of-consciousness type post, because I am this close to starting to print screenshots and do a full murder board trying to make this make sense to someone who is not in my brain, so I'm gonna type this out, and if you're seeing this that means it worked or I just typed for too long to not post lol.

Buck, Actually. Buck, Bothered, and Bewildered. I am not the only person that desperately wants a callback, and I know I'm not the only one thinking about what this might mean for buddie. Well, I've been saying for a while now that I would try to type out something about how buddie has been planned and the answers are in Buck, Actually, and that's what I'm gonna do now, I guess.

We know Buck gets a lot of his ideas of love from Buck, Actually. Seeing Maddie and Chim in the early stages, his own quest with love while moving on from Abby, notably Mitchell and Thomas and the "you don't find it, son, you make it." Buck's quest with love now is at a point where Buck wants to be seen "I feel like she sees me" but he is still at a point where he doesn't want to actually be seen, he wants someone to see what he wants to show, but that's not what actual love is. But still, we start out Buck, Actually with Buck literally in front of a huge sign that says "See Me" (also just to add into my madness about the blue and green in other elements of the scene, love the clear divide of Eddie against the sky and Buck against the sign, and yes I know they can't change the color of the sky or the sign but shh just go with it) with Eddie right above it. Interesting scene composition I think.

But talking about the actual couple here, we have Lola, who feels like her husband doesn't see her anymore after a situation where she feels like she lost herself, their kid went off to college, she has more time to herself, is struggling, and goes nuclear until Norman proves that he does in fact see her, just not in the way she was looking for, dude just wasn't aware there was a problem that needed to be addressed. I know I make everything about the cemetery scene lately, but come on. The whole thing with being seen, Buck not knowing who he is after dying, the expectation he is putting on himself about being the person he was before but he doesn't know who that is, like, come on, it's there.

Then the robbers and the two employees at the gas station, granted the robbers are a lot about Buck thinking about his own ways when it comes to sex and women considering he just had sex with Taylor in a bathroom, BUT here is when I start to go a little crazy. Because Ruth and Earl have that little moment of a relationship developing (hi blue scrunchie green cap 🫶), which we later see has developed, but Earl with his injured right shoulder is talking about how he's hurt but he was only thinking about her safety.

Does that sound familiar to anyone else? Just a thought. Yes, I know I'm crazy, it's fine, it will get worse.

Because another thing about the episode is the whole "till death do us part" thing, with the newlyweds who crashed their car, Mitchell and Thomas dying together, and maybe even Buck having to hold Lola back so she wouldn't fall. I'll come back to this in a second, but you gotta love a nice little crush injury involving a vehicle and a focus on handholding, huh?

But the thing is, Mitchell and Thomas make an impression on Buck, and Mr Self Destruct for Attention because that was the only way I was shown love as a child definitely takes the way they die together a bit too literally. Taylor being in this episode while being blatantly wrong for Buck makes an interesting point on that and the way bucktaylor evolves, because Buck gets the whole you make it, and decides he needs to kill himself to make it work, and it is what he ultimately does with Taylor, he thinks he loves her, he thinks she loves him, and he thinks that means if he doesn't give up he can move past his very obvious reservations about the relationship as a whole because "love is not supposed to be easy". But the whole thing is that Buck focuses on the wrong thing there because while Michell and Thomas died together, they had a whole life together, the point is not the death, it is the life. Yes, you need to fight to make it work, but the fight is not all you have.

Another thing about the episode is the concept of movement too, like, Lola's call on a freeway, both accidents involving a car crash of some sort, the robbery is a chase, even Buck and Taylor in the news van, Maddie talking about how slow being on the freeway is, and metaphorically too, with Madney starting to move towards something, Athena learning to deal with Michael's boyfriend. And Buck finally allowing himself to move on, and move on not going back to his old habits, sleeping with anyone for connection, but actually talking to his love interest for a change.

And we have relationships in all types of moments there, we have Buck and Taylor doomed to fail, we have Maddie and Chim in that nice early stage where you're falling in love with someone, you have Bobby and Athena and the whole when you know you know and the way Bobby proposes the next episode, we have the newlyweds, we have Ruth and Earl making the change in their relationship, we have Robber Guy and Baby Bear realizing that she's more in it than he is, we have Lola and Norman and the whole relationships take effort no matter how long you've been together, you have Mitchell and Thomas sharing a whole life.

There's also the whole layer of having the couple that shows Buck what he wants out of love be a gay couple, the way when Buck realizes Thomas is unresponsive he calls for Eddie first, because Chim and Hen are at the call, and they're not with Mitchell because Mitchell's body is there too, so like, the choice to make sure Eddie would be right next to Buck to comfort him is something.

Also, something else, the inmate who kidnaps them is also called Mitchell, and I cannot explain how I got here for the life of me. But Mitchell, Mitchell, Charlie, Charlie, Ambulance.

I don't know, something about the repetition of names, the ambulance as a key piece of the scene, the bonding, the comfort, the fear, the way Mitchell and Thomas died together, and Buck and Eddie could have died together in all of those situations. And the way Buck volunteers into the danger in all of those situations, he offers to help Eddie with the grenade, he goes to get Eddie without backup while actively being shot at, he runs toward the gunfire because he thinks Eddie is in danger, so like, it's a pattern of wanting to go together.

But also, the madney of it all, because while they are clearly moving towards something, they are not ready yet, but everything is acknowledged, which honestly is my main hope, because I don't think buddie is ready yet, but I would like some acknowledgment that where they're going, yk? And with the episode title possibly being a play with the song about being in love and not showing it, not knowing what to do with it, and the next episode being called "you don't know me" who could also be referencing a song about being in love with someone who doesn't know, we could be looking at real movement happening between the two of them yk?

I don't know if this makes a lot of sense, but if you read this I love you 🫶

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

EWAN MITCHELL INTERVIEWED BY POLYGON MAGAZINE.

YOU'VE SPOKEN BEFORE ABOUT THE INFLUENCES YOU TOOK IN WHEN CRAFTING YOUR APPROACH TO AEMOND — YOU HAVE PROMETHEUS; YOU HAVE HEAT; HALLOWEEN; LAWRENCE OF ARABIA. I'M CURIOUS WHAT YOU WERE SEEKING AS YOU WERE RESEARCHING TO PLAY AEMOND IN SEASON 2.

"Characters who possess a tremendous amount of power, and see it as a means to do things no one else can do."

Similar with Lawrence of Arabia — something in Lawrence of Arabia that I like, he says 'The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts.'

"You know, the idea that he kind of tempers himself — very similar to Aemond — to pain."

"He puts duty over love."

"And [similarly,] the idea that Aemond can be loved, but he also knows that he can achieve more if he’s willing to be feared, and do the necessary kind of evil."

"[I sought] characters who were kind of marginalized, and they maybe start off their story on their back foot, and over time become the hero of their story."

"There are setbacks, but they bounce back even stronger."

"Those kinds of characters."

DID YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WERE LIFTING THE ENERGY OF THESE PERFORMANCES, THE PHILOSOPHY, OR JUST THEIR PHYSICALITY?

"Anything — I mean, I try to watch a film a day."

"Although recently, with press, I’ve sometimes had to do two a day, because I miss a day."

"But anything, anything: Inspiration can come at any time."

"I’m always watching for it."

"I was watching Split the other day, M. Night Shyamalan’s Split, and it kind of raises the idea that the broken are the more evolved."

"And that’s certainly true with Aemond; from the moment he had his eye taken from him, he’s used it as motivation to develop himself and manufacture himself into this lethal weapon."

"I was speaking to a reporter earlier, and he had a Rutger Hauer T-shirt from Blade Runner."

"That’s also something that I might use as inspiration going into season 3."

"Just kind of leave my arms open, take anything."

DO YOU FIND YOU HAVE DIFFERENT INFLUENCES FOR DIFFERENT MOMENTS IN AEMOND'S LIFE, OR EVEN JUST DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIPS, LIKE ALICENT VERSUS HELAENA?

"Yeah, ultimately, after the raising of the dragonseeds in 'The Red Sowing,' it’s definitely made Aemond a lot more desperate going into episode 8, and he’s losing that composure that he’s known for [in] the previous episodes."

"And so there was always something really fascinating in exploring that kind of fractured Aemond, seeing that scared boy rise to the surface again, that he’s tried to keep a lid on for so many years."

"It’s the sort of relationship that makes total sense even when you don’t see them together."

"Of course she’s the person who sees him and puts him in his place."

"And he just has nothing to say to that."

"Her words just cut him in half."

"He always has this idea of where and how things will pan out."

"She just challenges that, and it breaks him a little bit."

IN A SHOW THAT'S SO MUCH ABOUT INTERROGATING PEOPLE'S QUEST FOR A POWER, THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO IT, AND HOW IT CAN BE BOTH WIELDED AND CORRUPTING AS A FORCE, HOW DO YOU SEE AEMOND FITTING INTO THAT? WHAT'S HIS MINDSET?

"I think he raises that question of whether Aemond is inherently evil, or whether power does corrupt, whether it was nurture versus nature."

"Was it the upbringing that [he] received from Otto Hightower and his mother, or was it just being in the Red Keep and being a product of his environment there?"

"I think Aemond — he’s always had that quest for power."

"He’s always wanted to be known as that war hero."

"And here at the council table, for the first half of the series, he’s very much serving in the war from one end."

"And then when he gets into power and becomes prince regent, he goes to the other end."

All of these people, he now has a completely new perspective on, and it’s like, 'OK, so how can each of you serve me? And if you can’t serve me, you’re gone.'

"It’s that kind of very black-and-white pursuit that Aemond has in his quest for power, which I think is quite scary."

"It’s formidable."

It doesn’t really take anybody else’s perspective into account. 'It’s what I want.'

"So what’s his relationship with power? It’s not a pretty one."

DO YOU SEE HIS QUEST FOR POWER AS COMING FROM THAT SCARED LITTLE BOY WHO JUST WANTS SOME PROTECTION AND INSULATION, AND TO BE ABOVE REPROACH? OR DO YOU SEE IT AS HIM THINKING I HONESTLY BELIEVE I CAN DO THIS BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE HERE?

"I mean around the council table, all these other characters, they’re losing their composure, they’re raising their voices, they’re arguing."

"Aemond’s just sitting back."

"He’s calculated, he’s cool."

"He strikes when the moment arises."

"He needs to be seen as someone who can wield that power effectively."

"He needs to be seen as someone who can lead."

"He can become that war hero."

"Whether or not he wants to sit the Iron Throne — I don’t know; I don’t want to answer that! But he definitely wants a similar kind of reputation as Daemon Targaryen."

"He wants to be like Daemon Targaryen, but he also wants to better him."

"He wants to be known as that rogue prince, who you know all of the realm respects."

"Or maybe he doesn’t really care what anyone thinks — that’s kind of what I love about the character."

"He could be many things."

TELL ME ABOUT HOW YOU APPROACHED THE ARC FOR HIM OVER THE SEASON — TO RETURN TO INFLUENCES FOR A SEC, I WAS THINKING A LOT ABOUT STREETCAR NAMED DESIRED, AND HAVING A CHARACTER WHO DOESN'T KNOW THEY'RE THAT CLOSE TO A BREAKDOWN, BASICALLY, AND DOESN'T KNOW THEY'RE ONE BAD DAY AWAY FROM THAT. THEY'RE JUST HOLDING THEMSELVES TOGETHER EVEN WHEN PEOPLE AROUNG YOU CAN SEE THIS IS BAD NEWS.

"Aemond… if he has a breaking point, I don’t think he’s found it yet."

"It’s interesting."

"Maybe he found it there, when Helaena challenged everything he thought his life would amount to, and how things would pan out."

"I think Aemond always thought of himself as the captain of his own fate and his own destiny."

"And so when Helaena shares that knowledge — on one hand, it could make an enemy out of him."

"But on the other hand, it could also make Helaena a tremendously valuable ally."

"If you’re able to harness that kind of foresight and that power that Helaena possesses, you could see a blow coming before it lands."

I think that would certainly be something interesting to explore: 'Where is Aemond’s breaking point?'

"I mean we’ve seen everything he’s done so far."

"He kind of had to abandon humanity in season 2, with what he did to his brother."

Helaena raises that: 'Was it worth the price, and what did he lose in that moment?'

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT WHERE HE ENDS UP THIS SEASON? IN MANY WAYS, IT FEELS LIKE AND OTHERWISE TRIUMPHANT SEASON PUTS HIM IN EXACTLY THE RIGHT PLACE TO HAVE HER POP THAT BALLON FOR HIM.

"Yeah, that’s a good way of looking at it."

"I think he’s got to sit with that information now, and sit with that realization."

"But as we know for Aemond, he can’t sit still for long."

"He’s going to be on the back of that dragon."

"Up to no good, you know."

"And yeah, I can’t wait to see where it goes in season 3."

"I think he’s got to change again."

"I think similar to when he had his eye taken out as a kid, it served as this motivation to become something else entirely."

"And then with this new realization at the end of season 2, he’s gonna have to evolve again, or otherwise risk being broken again."

[skygemspeaks]

Tgcf au where, unbeknownst to xie lian, there are multiple gods in heaven searching for him throughout his 8 centuries of banishment

Feng xin and mu qing, for obvious reasons

Pei xiu, after he ascends, remembers the kind general hua who had looked after him and ban yue, and when he finds out that it had been the disgraced crown prince of xianle who had been their benefactor, he decides that he will pay him back for his kindness no matter what.

Lang qianqiu, in all the years that he had been a disciple of fangxin guoshi, had seen his face once or twice, for a few fleeting moments. It hadn't really meant anything to him at the time since he didn't know anything about a prince whose kingdom had fallen long before he was born. But maybe a century or so after lang qianqiu ascends he sees a mural of the crown prince in the hall of divine might, and is chilled to the bone when he realizes he recognizes that face. He asks jun wu, surreptitiously, what would happen if a banished god had been buried in a thrice-sealed coffin with a stske through his heart. You know, hypothetically. The answer he gets is horrific, and no matter how much he hates fangxin guoshi for what he had done to his family, nobody deserves that kind of torture. Lang qianqiu goes to the grave, ready to dig him out himself, only to find the coffin open and his master long gone.

The 4 of them band together when they find out that they all have the same goal, working together to track all traces of him to find him as soon as possible, and somewhere along the way, they meet up with hua cheng. Who is also, inexicably, looking for the same person they're after.

Hua cheng is angry, at first, because he doesn't want anything to do with heavenly officials, after the way xie lian had been treated. But he grudgingly agrees to work with them because the more people on the lookout for xie lian, the higher the chances of finding him. The more time he spends with them, the more he starts to recognize the same kind of devotion in them that he feels, and the more he comes to slowly care for them. It's a strange thing, when he wakes up one day and realizes that he actually cares for these people, and they care for him. Not just as companions on the same quest, but as individuals separate from their shared goal of finding xie lian.

It doesn't feel right, for him to have this kind of companionship when he knows that his god is out there, alone for all these centuries now. But that jist makes him work harder to find xie lian, to show him just how many people have been worrying for him all these years, searching for him, loving him.

[crystallinemoonlight]

sometimes i'll think about how, at the start of episode four, pete offers to help porsche guess who he might have kissed at the pier the night before, and i imagine a crackfic where porsche goes on a quest to find out who it was by kissing his colleagues one by one - starting with pete of course that man was ready to sacrifice himself for the cause when porsche had questions about casual hookups later in the episode, offering himself up without hesitation

he visits them one by one; pol is confused... but intrigued, it's like one of tankhun's series! arm already knows it wasn't him but insists they check it anyway... just to be sure, right? you never know. ken says he'll break his face if he tries anything (very suspicious, porsche makes sure to highlight his name). big doesn't know whether to be angry or confused, he wasn't even there??? no he and ken didn't sneak in halfway through because of a secret crush, this isn't one of tankhun's series! tankhun asks what they're doing and if he can join but porsche isn't about to open that can of worms.

maybe at some point kinn catches on and realizes porsche doesn't remember but is rating the others based on if they kiss better or worse than the ~mystery person~, which is giving him an ego boost up until porsche declares that one of his friends is actually a better kisser and therefore can't possibly have been involved (said friend is very confused about why khun kinn is giving him death glares for the rest of the week)

you can even throw in some chan or vegas or anyone else if you want to, just go crazy with it, i think that'd be really funny especially if porsche just casually blasts vegas after they make out for a solid minute saying "no you're good but the other guy was just less desperate you feel me, sorry bro".

[thesaart]

WHO? WHAT? WHY? SAMPO KOSKI

This is a summary/theories/rambles made by me, someone who has way too much brain rot for this character right now, hope you enjoy.

(fyi this is increadibly long)

First Black Swans companion quest, Im very much basing this entire thing on the theory that her quest plays before Belobogs main story. 

First the quest plays while Sampo is no longer a mask fool in addition it's also implied that he was on Penacony for at least a while. Not only did he have a VIP pass for the Pepeshi club but the Pepeshi people also trust him. Which leads me to think that he properly got that pass at least somewhat legitimately.

Granted we know this from the interaction between Sparkle, Firefly and the Trailblazer but I still think that this is also applicable in the situation within Black Swans quest. 

(also very importantly Black Swans quest is told via a Memory Bubble so knowing exactly when it happened is already nebulous at best)  

If the companion quest happened after the main events of Jarilo VI. Then what happened to Sampo, that in the span of, if we’re generous, a few months leads him to leave the mask fools? Sampo seems to have very strict rules/lines/boundaries for himself so to assume that something happened in the span of a few months which leads him to lay down his mask and go to Penacony but then a new catastrophe befalls Belobog and he immediately goes back to the fools, just feels a bit flimsy to me.

Him also calling himself an old timer with the fools is important. Basically this man has seen some shit so him going back, surprising even Sparkle makes me think that he was out of the Mask fools for a while. 

Also quick side note, that out of all places Giovanni could have chosen to host his event, he went with Belobog. The place he knew he could meet Sampo at. Or he at least knew that if he went there the chance of meeting him was quite high. Potentially because he could have seen the end broadcast of Sampos after the main story of Belobog or because Sampo told Sparkle at the end of Black Swans quest to “tell Giovanni I said hi”. I just find it interesting that the writers put that line here.

Anyway, the Next bit is my personal understanding/theory of Sampos timeline.

Sampo was a member of the fools for a very long time, something happened that went so against his boundaries that he left the fools. He either then immediately went to Penaconey or traveled around for a bit before going there, possibly wanting to settle down.

Sparkle arrives in Penacony for her own reasons. Finds out that Black Swans here too and wants to fuck with her a bit. So she enlists the help of her “friend” Sampo. 

They make a deal that he helps her and she then gives his mask back to him. (important side note the deal with the masks isn't just that they are a sign that you follow the elation but it's literally your entry ticket to the fools and the tavern.) 

The reason why she has the mask or at least knows where it is properly is because Sampo was the one who gave it to her. He initially doesn't tell her exactly why he wants the mask back. that's properly the reason why she mockingly asks if it's about Jarilo VI.

(I acknowledge that Sparkle referencing Jarilo VI makes more sense if Black Swans quest happened after Belobog but hear me out. Sampo clearly has not just knowledge of Belebog but also a huge interest and care for the planet. Maybe the other fools knew of this interest of his. Also I'm gonna talk about his knowledge of Jarilo VI and Belebog later.)

Back to the timeline, Sparkle and Sampo agree on the deal and Black Swans quest starts. Afterwards, Sampo goes to the tavern and gets his mask back. Now he is an active member again, ergo he could potentially get extra help from the fools (for example the potential care package you can find in Lynx’s companion quest that has Sampos name on it.) He arrives on the planet, if he goes first to the overworld or the underworld is anyone's guess. 

But anyway, he meets Natasha and helps her and in extension  Wildfire. Then he continues like Sparkle inspired him to.

Too late to take the stage? no matter, it's a wonder what you can accomplish if you're just a side character.

The Nameless arrive on Jarilo VI a few years later 

(if im not wrong around two years later)

And the main quest starts. 

After that he meets Giovanni at the Aetherium wars event. They have a chat and Giovanni tells him that Sparkle is on Penacony, to which Sampo replies that he doesn't want to see her.

Why? I'm not 100% sure. Sampo is an opportunist, him meeting Sparkle helped them both but they still fundamentally disagree on a few things especially their idea of Elation.

This is my reading of his potential timeline for now. (also another side note hes definitely keeping taps on the Nameless. Simply because of the bomb you can find on the Xianzhou.)

Sampo is strange and his knowledge confuses the hell out of me

He knows a lot about Belobog but the interesting/confusing part is that as an outsider he seems to know things that most if not all locals don't know about. 

For example the tunnels that he uses to travel freely between the over and underworld. Just how the hell does he know about those?

Svarog, a Robot built around 700 years ago, didn't know about them, that or he forgot they exist which seems unlikely.

If Svarog knew about them he would have sealed them off, but he didn't. 

We can assume that the tunnels are not just incredibly well hidden but also safe, because Sampo carried four unconscious people through them to the underworld.

Potentially those tunnels could have been here before the war and miraculously survived both the Antimatter Legion and the Eternal Freeze. This could explain why neither Svarog knew about them, being there before his time, and for the people of Belobog being also way before there's. 

We as the Players never get to see the tunnels but we can assume that they are potentially located in the layers between the over and underworld. 

Then Sampo has the knowledge to repair ancient artifacts from a planet that was isolated and forgotten for multiple hundreds of years. Granted there are people especially from the underworld but also from the overworld that know how to repair them but those include Serval, a gifted mechanic who also was an Architect at one point, so someone who was constantly surrounded by those artifacts and had still surviving documents of how to work with them. Clara, also a gifted prodigy of a mechanic whose dad is Svarog, who could absolutely help her if she has questions about some of those artifacts.

Sampo is an outsider though so how did he learn how to work with or just straight up repair ancient technology?

If we now go away from his connection to Jarilo VI for a second there's just a lot of other stuff that are really interesting/confusing about him. 

We can guess that Sampo is actually quite knowledgeable especially when it comes to making things. He made his smoke bombs meaning that he not only has the technical understanding of making the inner workings of a bomb but also knows how to make knockout gas that also doesn't seem to affect him. 

Same with his knives. I have my theory that either he made them himself or someone made them for him. The blades are just too tailor made for his fighting style to simply be a thing he stole from somewhere. 

The next few points I'm gonna get into were absolutely pointed out many times before by others but still I want to mention them too. 

Also this is already incredible long so fuck it.

First, the foot prints, him not leaving any in the snow is already strange. Granted you could argue that he uses the wind ability that his path grands him to erase them the moment his feet touch the snow but it's not just snow, in Penaconey there are fountains that you can walk over and Sampo is the only one the does not create any splashes, only little ripples on the water's surface.

Second, Brughel Poisson, first I love that his entire character story is about a heist/scam he plans and acts out while playing a different character. It's a wonderful and creative way of showing us a bit more about him and it characterizes him very well.

But also I have my doubts this was just him simply putting on an incredibly good disguise and showing off how good he is at crossdressing. One scene that always stuck out to me in the character story was how incredibly sure and confident Sampo was that the guard would not see through Poisson. Even showing off her hair as in saying, look at this, this is obviously my real hair, no wig at all. 

I have my theory that he could have shape shifted similar to what Sparkle does with the only difference that he did it not in a dream but in reality. 

Him having extra magical abilities would not surprise me, as I said before the smoke of his bombs do not seem to have any effect on him. He is potentially able to teleport or he's just incredibly fast. If he carried Bronya, the Trailblazer, Dan Heng and March 7th all at once to Natasha then he also is a bit stronger then what I think a normal human would be able to do. And the incredibly low temperatures outside of Belobog don't seem to affect him that hard or at all. 

Last point

Out of all the playable paths they could have given him they went with Nihility, the most similar path to Elation simply because Aha and XI agree on one thing and that is that the world and all its life is meaningless. 

It would be fascinating if Sampo first was on the path of Elation and then later switched to Nhility or that he always was on the path of Nihility because of something he went through in his backstory and then found kinship with the fools. 

There's so much potential for his story and his character and I really hope the writers of HSR have a plan for where they want to take him.

If you read all of this thank you so much          

[quillkiller]

Jen!! I need all your lunarry thoughts pls I'm so captivated already

ok so… lunarry was my first ever rarepair before i even knew that rarepairs were a thing…

so like. what made me so compelled with them is the scene with the thestrals. they’re the only two people who can see them, because they both watched their mothers die.. and then they just form this very sweet and unlikely friendship. ’i’ll ask someone i like, someone cool’ <- harry about asking luna to the slug club thing. he’s just so charmed by her <3

she’s the only one who treats him as just a Regular Guy. he’s never just a regular guy with anyone, not even his two best friends because the three of them are always roped into quests and boy who lived-missions. i love the golden trio more than anything, and harry loves his best friends more than anything, but luna is the only one who treats him as just some guy and he’s constantly drawn to her because of it … they’re so autistic4autistic social weirdos <3

here are some hc’s i have for them post war:

harry becomes a recluse after the war, hiding himself away at grimmauld place and avoiding everyone. his best friends can’t get through to him either because they’re just too close and he’s too traumatized. he’s not going to weasley sunday brunches, not talking to anyone, nearly becomes agoraphobic because whenever he does leave the house there’s always someone there who wants to personally thank him OR someone who blames him

but eventually luna finds him, whether she tracks him down with purpose or just because she felt like spending time with him, and he lets her in. she doesn’t talk about the war, doesn’t treat him like he’s breakable or traumatized, doesn’t treat him like she owes him anything. just continues to treat him like any other guy, talking to him about magical creatures and looking around for nargles, doing silly magic together and drinking tea and watching films and slowly but surely harry starts becoming himself again, starts smiling again, starts respondint to his friends letters, starts actively inviting luna over, starts visiting her instead, coming with her on the avdentures she goes on

i always see them stumbling into a relationship rather than actively asking each other out. harry asks luna if she’s seeing someone and she says ’yeah, im seeing you?’ and that’s that. it’s such a gradual thing, months or maybe a few years of slowburn. neither of them in a hurry to get anywhere because they’re always been friends first. they’ll always be friends first . the foundation of their relationship will always be FRIENDSHIP !!

they move somewhere together, some cottage somewhere away from the wizarding world. just the two of them in a house and lots of land. harry keeps grimmauld place, stays thete sometimes when he needs to, and because he doesn’t want people to know where he actually lives. the only two people he tells is ron and hermione obviously, but other than that no one knows where he is or where he lives. his letters gets sent to grimmauld, etc

’WHERES THE BOY WHO LIVED ?????’ the daily prophet says <- no one has seen him in YEARS. wel!!!!! he’s out counting stars with his dreamer girlfriend and tending to the thestrals they own together. they’re domestic and love working with their hands, growing their own foods, taking care of magical creatures, doing magical experiments, painting and repainting their walls, cooking, etc etc etc. they love their solitude and can be quiet with each other, but they also make each other laugh <3

they’re so deeply special to me…. 🤍

[distinguisheddwarffriend]

My brain is FULL of TH fic ideas but I've already got 3 WIP and most of them are just "what if"s with no plot so I'll just post them here I guess and maybe some writing god hears me/ reads them and someone else actually uses them.

Here's Nr. 1:

Frerin did in fact NOT die at Azanulbizar but was transported into our modern world, sometime in the second half of the 19th century.

After some adjusting (industrialization is in full force but it's still not as 'bad' as it would be rn) he builds a life, him being a dwarf meaning that he ages extremely slowly compared to us lowly humans so he has to move after a while and again and again.

He lives in the UK, US, France, Germany, Italy, Finland.....

He fights in both world wars depending on where he lives during that time (WW1 on the German side, WW2 on the UK's), other than that he goes to university and works all kinds of jobs like policeman, fireman, soldier, teacher, carpenter,smith, weaver, factory worker, violinist etc etc etc

Around 1900 he meets this fella J R R Tolkien and befriends him, and after a time finds out that his friend is writing books about middle Earth, not only that, but one about his very own brother. Tolkien apparently is a seer of some kind because it's still almost a century until "The Hobbit" would happen (he does the math).

Frerin helps Tolkien with authenticity for his books, because the dude is smart and found out about Frerin after he corrected his Khuzdul one time too many.

Anyhow, after reading what will happen to his family, he becomes a mite bit obsessed with returning to Middle Earth and having ammased quite some wealth and with the help of some friends in high places starts founding various research projects into things like teleportation, multiverse, magic, alchemy, you name it. He also becomes a member of the Freemasons due to his occult knowledge.

In around 80 years there's almost no progress towards Frerin's goal of returning home, he does still have a research company but only a small group of mostly students works on the multiverse hypothesis, the rest does all kinds of stuff, technology, energy, whatever.

He has for the time being settled somewhere in Scandinavia, is a College Professor for Sociology and Political Science and volunteers as a social worker for troubled children.

He is fostering 2 or 3 children himself (ages 6 - 16) and has two grown up adopted children that still live & work with him (they found out about him), a guy & a lass ( both early twenties).

Somehow (don't ask I don't know) the whole household (meaning Frerin, his two young adult children, the foster children, his south American householder, her tiny dog and their personal Butler (more of a live-in family friend by now, think Niles from "The Nanny")) all get sucked into a portal or whatever end get spit out into Middle Earth.

Not at Ered Luin of course, that would be easy, no, but somewhere extremely inconvenient. The Lone lands, the Brown lands, Moria, something along the lines of "we are so fucked".

So now it is a few years (1-3, or the characters have too much time to become Mary-Sues), before the quest to Erebor, and they have to reach Thorin before then and somehow survive a world filled with orcs (and elves!) while juggling a 6 year old, a tiny & barky dog, a cliché Mamacita, a British butler, and Frerin's realisation that he has gotten much too used to modern convenience.

(my weak ass would probably include some romance between one/more than one of the original characters and the canon characters, I'm a sucker for Fili or Kili x OFC and rare pairings like KilixBifur or ThorinxNori and I want Frerin to date an elf or Bard I think.)

.... Does this sound like something you would read/write? I'd maybe try to write this with someone else, alone I don't dare to. What do y'all think?

[nym-wibbly]

You think John Winchester beat/abused Dean into suppressing his sexuality? You're great at taking these canons apart on details--- would love to get your take on this.

Dean's inner workings are such a huge field of study! You're very kind, but I think a lot of his nuances are still beyond my grasp of canon. I bet there's tons to pick up on rewatching. I'll have a stab at it though!

I think Dean's father taught him that practical reliance and emotional dependence on anyone or anything but blood family is dangerous. That indulging his private feelings - any feelings - is dangerous. And that doing those things makes him a danger to others, to Sam, to the mission, and therefore would make him into a bad person; that Dean grew up convinced that he can't afford to let himself have - or need - affection, support, connections, community, obligations, or ties outside the hunting life, and only limited access to those luxuries within it.

Dean fell into line with John's rules of the road while Sam pushed back and got himself out for just long enough to see a different way of living life - one I'm sure a younger John Winchester, married to Mary and with their two young sons in the house, would have recognised as worth fighting for and protecting. Sam brings that back with him, and never stops trying to share that wider perspective and personal growth with Dean - never stops offering to listen or be emotionally supportive, even when Dean shuts him down over and over again.

I think Dean learned from his father - from his whole rootless and overburdened childhood - that other people have to be able to depend on him, so he can't afford either to feel weak or to be perceived as weak, for their sake. For survival's sake. The performative mess we find him in come the start of Supernatural is him trying to fit that with his adult experiences and needs. If he's wrestling at all with his sexuality in the middle of all that, I think it's far from being the biggest or most damaging of his issues.

Dean's basically a decent bloke with a good heart, full of love to give, smart, capable, and intrinsically strong, but his self-worth is completely tied up with this need to be a protector, the strong one. His baby brother actually has to spell out to him that, now he's an adult too, Sam can, will, and wants to protect Dean right back. Dean had no inkling that it wasn't a one-way street, which is heartbreaking.

John's white-whale revenge quest taught Dean that life is short, that there's no higher meaning or grand plan. That you don't get what you want, you get the hand you're dealt and have to play it. That it's his role in life to serve, and to die young doing it. He doesn't think he gets to plan a future, and has mixed feelings when Sam tries to do just that by going to college.

I'm not sure Dean's hiding or repressing his sexuality in particular; more that he's not dealing - refusing or unable to deal - with the whole area of intimate relationships that go beyond a fun one night stand. Of emotional and supportive relationships and people's need for those, period.

Dean looks at the comfort and support system available to other people with their lovers and spouses, and doesn't see a Dean-shaped vacancy anywhere, be it with men, women... or angels. Yet he wants it, or something that looks like it. He longs for family and home, and not only because it's something he knows he lost once. He's terrific with children, from the small ones up to the angry teens, so he knows instinctively how to give the kind of support and validation he denies himself - but does he even know that he finds those encounters rewarding? Is he even aware that it's a good thing for those relationships to be mutually rewarding? I'm not sure he lets himself think that way. Maybe it's just an itch he can't quite scratch?

The moment he has the opportunity he goes straight to Lisa and Ben and tries to make it work with that ready-made family. He remembers just enough of the time before his mother's murder to feel a pull towards 'traditional' family life, but it's like he's living a fairytale. He's waiting for the big bad wolf the whole time, waiting to flip back to high alert protector mode. Once the monsters touch his little family and shatter the bubble, he can't sustain the relationship. Lisa gives him every chance to have it on his own terms, but Dean can't do it.

My take is that Dean suppresses anything and everything that might give him comfort, peace, softness, or what others (including his father in vengeance mode) could perceive as outward signs of weakness. Talking about his feelings, about things he can't have, dwelling on and processing his feelings - that's what John taught Dean that weakness looks like. That unaffordable luxury of weakness. You get up, wash off the blood, keep your weapons in good order, and keep fighting until you can no longer fight. Dean denies himself anything that could be used against him or Sam, and for the longest time he thinks that's a good thing. Later in the series, he's learned enough to know that this kind of strength is brittle at best, and to be afraid of the consequences of stress-testing it too hard.

I think Dean doesn't even bother digging into what he wants and needs from a lasting partner. Into his feelings and sexuality, his ideas about couples, about hearth and home. It's not just that he's terrified of losing it if he has it: he's sure he'll lose it if he ever has it, because he's sure he doesn't deserve it.

I reckon Dean stopped exploring himself at a very young age, and learned to ignore his own needs and feelings beyond the limited avenues that got a nod and a wink from John Winchester. Being good at hunting. Taking care of Sam. Drinking. Driving. Polishing the roleplay and the hustle to stay under the radar. Taking care of Sam some more. Shut down everything else tight and keep a lid on it. Grab gratification where you can but don't ever try to keep hold of it or set down roots.

Dean lives in maintenance mode. Other than his brief idyll with Lisa and Ben, there's never a time when Dean doesn't feel he has to stay in that state of toughened battle-readiness. The only reason he's able to get close to Castiel over the long term is that Cas can join him in the fight, is willing to take Dean as-is without needing him to unbend, and can tough things out just as hard as Dean can.

I don't think John necessarily needed to pile on physical or targeted psychological abuse to shape Dean this way and make him equate processing and personal exploration with weakness. Just making the adult-responsibility demands he did of a child, and exposing him to the monsters and the killing and the awareness of how precarious life is, would've been plenty. I get the sense that if John had ever posed a danger to Sam through violence or drunken carelessness, Dean would've killed him. (For the first few episodes, I sorta thought he sekritly had!)

(Ask me again when I've rewatched Supernatural and my answer might be completely different!)

[surreal-duck]

screw it. midoyuzu sdv au (very long bullet point post warning in advance)

midori inherits his late grandpa's farm. parents' greengrocers shop in the city used to get a good chunk of their crops from there til his passing and the farm was since abandoned

kanata is definitely handling the fishing shop. though he spends more time in the water puka pukaing than actually fishing and manning the store but its fine she manages somehow. when midori gets the fishing rod kanata just straight up pops outta to water to give him the rod and floats away 👍 souma helps out there also

chiaki owns the saloon and bartends even if he does Not drink himself and the only thing that ever plays on tv are tokusatsu shows

as for the others i havent thought abt as much and subject to change. kuro blacksmith with his apprentice tetora maybe . nagisa the museum and library curator (and by extension i think itd be really funny if ibara was a joja executive. mostly to keep an eye on nagisa but also keeping the yzib hostility). eichi is the mayor though keito his vice mayor does most of everything and his boyfriend wataru organizes the town events and such like the valley fair etc!! natsume is the forest wizard w his apprentice sora and tsumugi comes by weekly in that traveling cart thing. madara owns the ranch probably.

everybody else is probably just normal townsfolk, among others hajime and hinata take care of the towns plants n stuff!! tatsumi priest, mayoi is half shadow person and hangs out in the sewer (of which noritama at some point explore together and shinobu befriends and invites to visit the surface). i said i didnt think about this much but thats a lie at this point. mika stays in an atelier in the forest (owned by shu whos in the city but does visit on occassion) to cultivate his own art, still best buds with arashi. jun koga adonis and maybe hiiro part of the adventurers guild, trick5tar are their own lil band!!

some charas r not present most of the time or yet like tori who is off at uni w his longtime academic rival and childhood friend and also now roommate tsukasa. their presence is very important for later trust me. rich family rivalry still remains here (along with military camp Because)

due to tori being at uni and learning independence yuzuru is off of his usual butler work for a while and working in the general store owned by the himemiyas! partly to pass the time partly encouraged to find something new to do outside of his servant duties. he calls and nags at tori regularly to make sure hes fine and such

the request board outside of the store is always a good source for side jobs and one day a request for foraged spring onions is pinned up with a terrifying drawing scribbled on it. midoris head over heels Immediately and she already has a good amount to spare so why not take it

hes probably a week into living in the valley already? while yuzuru had just started working over at the store therefore she wasnt aware of this yuzuru fushimi and finds the very one while looking for who put up the request!! the master artist + fan dynamic goes from then on

other than the usual chitchats and more requests with encouraged atrocious drawings accompanying them, been thinking a good amount of the specific town events that happen through the year!! other misc things are various quests and errands from each of the characters, like helping mika gather cloth or hajime requesting various flowers to brighten up the town

Y1 Spring: egg festival, noritama hanging out, shinobu sweeping the egg hunt; flower dance , as they havent gotten to know each other to well enough to actually dance (just like in the game) (haley please. anyways) its mostly just small talk and maybe including some other side pairings i like djdhhfjdj chiaki with a suspiciously soaked kanata and hina dragging off tetsu

Y1 Summer: acquiring the rusty key from nagisa, noritama sewer exploration and befriending mayoi; luau, nothing special particularly for this one; dance of the moonlight jellies, from here yuzuru and midori get a lot closer playing in the sand and just getting along (a bit like siosai marina)!! probably some background drop for the both of them like takamine gramps' farm and yuzurus actual role as a butler while telling him about tori as well dkhdhdjs. they spot the rare green jellyfish together here too

Y1 Autumn (yeah im calling it autumn sue me): valley fair commences, led by everyones own wataru whos hopping here and there somehow managing three attractions at once. yuzuru obliterates the shooting game; spirits eve, chiaki is desperately being clingy out of fear. just more shenanigans in this one

Y1 Winter: festival of ice!! i kinda want to recreate the snow bunny/cute critter scene in jingle bells here, while the fishing contest isnt even a contest at all except between souma and kanata; feast of the winter star ill probably keep somewhat similar to that in the recent luck fest campaign gift exchange!! midori -> hajime and yuzuru -> kanata at the very least. just good vibes all around. community centre would also be finished by then so while joja closes, ibara ends up assisting at the museum w nagisa instead jshshdh

Y2 Spring: only thing of note is that This flower dance they do get to dance together!! 👍 had to get those hearts up beforehand sjhdhdjshd midori at this point fully realized he really does like yuzuru, but kind of the calm before the summer storms

Y2 Summer: gets a bit (a lot) more complicated from here. yuzuru receives word from tori that he'll be visiting from midsummer til the beginning of autumn, and coincidentally tsukasa is tagging along to meet up with his pen pal and friend sora!! bickering the entire way there and due to circumstances yuzurus hosting tsukasa as well in the end, having to share toris room with him aksjdhjwjs

tori gets introduced to midori. the famed young master of midoris crush and this random farmer boy tori had heard so much about for some reason. midoris rather intimidated in the end but it ends up not Horribly to say the least. didnt quite help how tori had noticed how yuzuru softened up even just a bit when interacting with him. sora as well finally meets tsukasa and "the torikun he's heard so much about through tsukasas letters" 🎉 toris awfully smug and tsukasa tries to salvage it saying he was badmouthing him the whole time (not completely a lie but definitely not completely the truth either. dork)

with toris arrival inevitably comes yuzurus duties as a butler, its plain to see his priorities and out of consideration midori backs off a bit. she thought he'd only have to keep his distance until tori's gone back but little did she know toris main reason for coming not only was to assess how yuzurus faring (well and to meet eichi again) but had planned on bringing yuzuru back with him too to which yuzuru of course though not without feeling a tinge of pain for a reason unknown to him agrees to it

midori hears this from tsukasa, how he didnt think yuzuru would stay in town for much longer. and of course midori ended up pretty devastated at the news but who is he to stop yuzuru from leaving? in the end yuzuru would all but abandon his duties, and after all that same diligence and devotion is what midori had fallen for in the first place. if this short year really is all he'd get to spend with him then at the very least she'll have to make the most of what time they have left

the moonlight jellies come around again, probably one of the last times they both thought they'd be able to spend together and went off with just the two of them. a bit of an awkward air around them, yuzuru comments on how toris been complaining about the sand and other attempts at casual small talk as usual but its painfully obvious theres still that tense atmosphere

midori finally asks if yuzurus really leaving after all, to which she got a yes. midori simply nods and had long since accepted that inevitability, and already resolved that when the time comes to put an end to his feelings and get rejected properly. and so he confesses, and while saying she didnt need yuzuru to give him any proper answer in return, all yuzuru could really say was an "i'm sorry" while finally realizing what that awful ache that has been eating at him the entire time was. even if he did realize he felt the same, no matter how much he wanted to say it back theyve both resigned to the fact that its not something that could or would really ever happen between them

once the jellies have all left, their parting was pretty awkward, with that one goodbye feeling a lot like their last. tori notices something off about yuzuru and that something had probably happened between them, but didnt pay it much thought until a while later

yuzurus made more mistakes than whats normal, miscategorizing the stock or putting salt in his coffee, tori and tsukasa are both shocked and tried to pry it out of him but hes a brick wall that wont budge even a bit. it was only when midori came around for his usual errands and groceries that tori could note how distant and awkward theyre both being and that slight bit of hurt behind yuzurus all perfect mask

after much uncomfortable tension and quietly longing gazes enough is enough amd tori eventually confronts him, that while he did say yuzuru could come back to the city asks him if thats really what he wanted. and of course, all hes ever wanted or rather, knew how to want was to be able to serve tori to the best of his ability and really theres no other reason to stay anyways. even more frustrated now tori brings up midori, if he really wont regret leaving things like that when theyll surely drift apart to the point of no return if he keeps it up

argues that whatever was between him and midori has nothing to do with it!! tori is Mad and says if yuzuru is hiding behind his role to run away from the depths of his own feelings hes being a freaking idiot. eventually tori calms down and while he did want yuzuru to come, never wanted him to tear himself apart so much and that he didnt need to sacrifice his desires or getting close to anyone else for his sake, and how before being a servant yuzuru is his family as well and he just wants him to be happy too. then asks one last time if leaving the valley really what he wanted

yuzuru finally thinks it over again and apologizes first. for letting himself get so caught up and carried away for even daring to get close to someone else (tori glares daggers at him. he stops) and affirms that while he did wish to stay, theres still nothing more important to him than tori and his wellbeing and even should he open up and find more people in his life its not gonna change that fact

toris finally satisfied, reminding him again that even if he were to run off to be with some farmer boy hed still be his butler and that he wishes them the best. then proceeds to grab the bouquet from over the counter, shove it into yuzurus hands and lock him out of the store until he has a proper talk with midori. yuzuru tries to argue but it all goes one ear and out the other with tori he is Not gonna let him back inside until then

eventually gives in and goes looking for midori. he asks all around town and seems to just miss him each time, til eventually it starts pouring and into a pretty hard rain. at this point all he could rly focus on though was wanting to see him so pushes on until running into her taking shelter in the forest. yuzuru is Soaked and disheveled and with the wind and rain the bouquet is stripped down to only a few of its flowers left but he does not care at this point

midori is understandably shocked and tries to dry him off with what he had, lending her jacket and asking what he was doing out in the rain like that. well with yuzuru only being able to think about wanting to meet him had completely ignored the rain and brushes it off saying there was something more important he wanted to say

even knowing that he'd (somewhat) rejected midori before, asks if he could give him a proper response this time if midori would give him another chance. she agrees, yuzuru lets him know he wont be going back to the city after all to midoris surprise. goes on that before he knew it midori had become important to him as well and that he truly does adore him, and if his feelings havent changed would like to court him properly. midoris just processing the entire thing before crying. never thought his feelings would be reciprocated and between sobs hugs him. rain clears up, a nice rainbow arches over and while midori accepts what was left of the bouquet they almost had a moment until yuzuru starts sneezing. cue them running back to the store before he gets sick

while yuzurus taking care of himself it leaves midori and tori in the store together. tori gives her a bit of a shovel talk and if he dared do anything to hurt yuzuru he could have his entire farm shut down. and asks to take care of yuzuru for him too. they do talk a bit and end up getting to know each other a bit more before tori and tsukasas impending departure

once midori leaves, tsukasa, having seen the whole conversation, asks tori if hes really okay with it and while tori cant say hes absolutely happy is glad someone cherishes yuzuru just as much. and even if he is a bit lonely will always have tsukasa anyways half as a tease and half being genuine

Y2 Autumn: tori and tsukasa leave the valley, promising to come back next year!! theres a lot more ive planned out from this point out but i am keeping it to myself for now. or maybe forever it depends 👍 my apologies if youve read this far you deserve a medal thank you for listening to my silly rambling 🏅

theres some other things like mini chara arcs/episodes and such (or stuff like specific "heart events" of a sort) i thought abt but among them is tatsumi and mayoi meeting and [omitted] or tetoras apprenticeship under kuro, or shus visit to observe mikas progress and [omitted], and specifically a certain trks episode also

[professional-bulshitter]

just went back to watching community again and I cant-

so this time it's about 'Regional Holiday Music' 3x10,, and adhagsjjsb it's so fucking good because in a manner it sort of addresses all the wants of the characters right? because to convince them to join the Glee club they need to be incentivised and the incentive in this case is what's so interesting to me:

because 1. it starts with Abed and we all know Abed and how he's all he wants is to be together and loved and he chases the belongingness that he didn't find before in the study group right? but also literally the only thing that cory had to do to get him on board was talk about making him and his friends feel better and be together,,, but also it's literally because media of any kind be it behind the screens or people singing is so much simpler for him to understand cause they are catered and made in such a way that they are easy to perceive and take in without it being more complicated and involving other people's feelings in it

which is Great on its own but the second person to get 'caught' is Troy (because obv Troy will follow Abed wherever he goes, because even when he can't follow he'll wait for Abed to come back to him and tell him about his side quests or just be there for him, but I digress-) but also it's because there's this one thing he's always wanted to be a part of and could never but then comes Abed giving it to him on a silver platter and letting him do the things he wants even if it is by providing him with a loophole

and then third is pierce who even though I loathe him, i do understand (ish) because at the end of the day he's a man out of time and place, he's within people he doesn't understand and who don't want to understand him because all he wants to do is relive his glory days instead of rooting himself in the present (which in large part the study group help him with) (he'll never be my favourite character or even a liked one but I see him and I feel sad because of what he is and always will be and the way he came to be this way) all he ultimately wants is to be 'cool' maong his peers even though both of them operate on different understandings of cool (and yeahhhh)

fourth is Annie which, is very very weird to me because we never really get to know what her song was, what her one wish/incentive was,,, but also is it really that hard to assume that she would cave in when confronted by one of the first few people that she could safely feel as if in the company of friends with? also and this is a straight up hypothesis but I do feel that Annie didn't really get a song to convince her because it wasn't that hard to do it because it didn't really matter because at the end of the day it started with Abed telling her that he stayed for that experiment despite being angry because she was his friend,, and this was her way if reciprocating that (because it was just that given, be ause some things don't need to be explicitly stated to be explicit) (but then why did troy have one? because he was technically going against his entire belief system and the way he identified and looked at himself and that is life changing in some manners and he was still the second one and yeah)... maybe

the fifth one was Shirley and this one is rather simpler because at the end of the day, she traces and finds herself within her belief system rooted in Christianity (which while not for mez i can understand the way belief systems can be very all or nothing for some people) and she just wanted to educate and empower children and people with things that she herself feels empowered by (she goes about it entirely the wrong way ofc because forcing religion on others is never an answer but I don't think nad never have that she's coming at it from a malicious position or intention

then we have jeff and like Annie it's very curious that he doesn't get something that he wishes to incentivise him (at least that's the way I understand that episode) instead, we get to see what Annie and further the audience thinks or is supposed to think about Jeff. He's still that impenetrable (hehehe) person that no-one can actually understand because yes he's an asshole but he's constructed in a very stereotypic asshole kind of way so that's all we get to see from him at that point in time (that's all we're supposed to perceive him as which is why unlike others he never joins in on the song) instead all we get is that he also succumbed somehow. but we're never told what made him submit and give in,, we're always made to look at him from a distance (at least till that point in time and show trajectory) and he might be the main centre of the show (ish arguably more around Abed but plot more centered around him (also I'm very very biased cause I deeply resonate with Abed)) and yeah

and then Britta who again doesn't get a song at all because,, and again throwing arrows in the dark here,,, ofc she has a bad voice and narrative voice isn't really imp to Cory and his performance but also because much like Jeff, there's an induced sense of distance, wherein she technically is supposed to be the main female protag at that point (at least that's the intention it seems to have started with) but in many manners, she's reduced to just that, they make her dumb and so unlike the other main heroines (and I will never not be angry with the way they changed her character post season 1) that at the end of the day that's all she ends up being (again till that point in the show's trajectory)

and yeah ,, and then then at the end of everything, Abed gives up on what he wanted for the group as a whole because he realises that this is not actually happiness that it's creating in everyone, because it's forcing them into roles that they've been tricked into and that's never what he wanted,,, yes he wants them to be together but not at the cost of the happiness of even one of them or all of them and yeah

also anyone that says community is just a silly little show, it is. But it's also so much more because the way it talks about created families and families of choice and being an outsider and trying to find belongingness,,, and in the end finding a place that lets you be the trainwreck that you are and helps you embrace it, is insane and great. And I love the way community as a whole does all of that while feeling so organic and experimental but also insightful and a well thought out piece of media with actual things to say and yeah

(also very unconnected to anything I've just said but I truly despise Shirley's song with everything in me,, I'd ironically and unironically listen to all of the rest of the songs in this episode but not that one (yes including whatever was going on with that Annie mean girls esque but make it worse and yeah)(they are bops honestly 🤷‍♀️)

i will go now but yeah I love community (also also last thing but this is the only way that I'll ever be able to fully digest random musicals in any show because community just does it better, I said what I said.)

[thesynthesist]

Foiled: How Do We React to Fate? Sophie vs Howl

So I just got around to reading the book Howl's Moving Castle, which I've meant to do for quite a while now and I have thoughts! This will have nothing to do with the movie so here's your warning to get off now if that's what you're looking for.

So our protagonist is Sophie, an Eldest Child, who worst than generally being the eldest, is also the eldest in a land that runs on fairy tale rules, where the eldest is often a failure in a quest, especially when you have two younger same gender siblings, as Sophie does.

One of the first things we learn about Sophie is that she has resigned herself to this and her life of labour and unimportance. We also learn that Sophie is kind and empathetic almost to the point of her own detriment - it appears part of the reason she has resigned herself to this fate is on behalf of her sisters whom she genuinely cares for. She doesn't begin to show any bitterness about her position until she is essentially the family hat shop's sole overworked employee who is not receiving a salary.

Once she confronts her step mother about this and truly doesn't receive an answer is one of the first times we see Sophie really experience a lasting negative emotion directed at another person but this doesn't really come to anything besides Sophie getting a bit rude with customers who are rude first. Sophie does not think of leaving the shop, in fact we don't even get any clear indication that she intends to bring the wage conversation back up with her step mother any time soon. In fact, when Sophie runs into her step mother again later in the book, she reacts with her usual empathy rather than feeling upset that being left alone in the shop was ultimately what got her cursed in the first place.

It's only once the Witch of the Wastes curses her that Sophie decides she's had all about the resignation she can manage and sets out of her own. While her change in form is both reflective of how Sophie sees herself - a person without a life before it's even begun - it also gives her an excuse within how she believes fate to work to go off. After all, once you've been cursed by a witch to be elderly when you've maybe lived the better part of two decades, how much more failing can you really do? Even as Sophie sets off to 'find her fortune' as she puts it, she's in part only doing so because now she believes fate will allow it. She has stepped out of the eldest sister role at the start of the story and into a completely different role entirely. This may also be why Howl remarks he decided Sophie 'liked being disguised'. If Sophie returns to her youth, to herself, even if that may have physical benefits and add 60 years back onto her life, in her mind she returns to being trapped by fate, destined to be lonely and overlooked. Even when she's doing magic and actively improving the lives around her, she internally laments how her efforts are not enough and doomed to failure because of her position as first born.

Then there's Howl.

Howl is immediately painted as someone on the run from everything. He doesn't like to answer questions directly and will ignore them or change the subject, he's only in love with women until they love him back and then he no longer cares. He reacts to responsibility and day to day concerns such as cleaning, with an air of flippancy and seems to put his appearance above all else.

In fact, he wants to be seen as so unreliable that he has rumours spread about himself so people will think he's evil and not bother coming around. Howl himself admits that he doesn't like to be pinned down and we find out later that he is both physically and metaphorically on the run from a curse.

Even as he treats his apprentice well and goes out of his way for Sophie, and returns to visit his family on a regular basis, he persistently puts on an air of irresponsibility. His sister despairs that he'll never clean up his act when he shows up at her house in a rugby jacket, but we see moments before that Howl magically changes the clothes that they're wearing. He could have presented himself to his sister with as much flair and vanity as he does in the world Sophie is from but he makes the consistent choice to show up to his sister's house as a bit of a shlub.

Despite appearing to be polar opposites Howl and Sophie have one very important thing in common, they have both accepted fate as a force that moves the world that they will be subject to. And even with the character growth they both experience, which appears to be largely switching perspectives on fate and responsibility with Howl stepping up to take responsibility for things that need doing even if that leaves him fated to ruination, while Sophie rages against the unfairness of it all and seeks a way out, even if it isn't for herself.

This shared view drastically shapes both Sophie and Howl's characters and how they interact with the world around them, even though this belief is not grounded in reality. The book presents Sophie's sisters and to some extent Howl's apprentice as examples of how this world despite its magic is not so much beholden to fate as it is to other people's expectations.

Sophie's sisters, instead of accepting their lots which Sophie feels are appropriate for their birth order and likely fated roles because of it, simply switch places and get along quite famously. To top it off, instead of the youngest falling in love with or even seeking to marry royalty she falls in love quite happily with Howl's orphaned apprentice, while the middle sister handily side steps her 'fate' of falling desperately in love with the disreputable wizard Howl.

Even with these examples right in front of them, Sophie and Howl cannot shake their internalized perceptions of what they should be.

Sophie, while visiting her sister's witchcraft tutor, is asked if she's where her sister gets magic from as it runs in families. Despite being told almost directly to her face that she has magical powers, it's not until chapters later after being told again that she accepts it, and even longer for her to fully claim it and begin actively working with the power she possesses.

Whereas Howl refuses to pay attention long enough to his curse or the Witch of the Waste to really do anything about it. He knew Sophie had magical powers and knew that his own were quite formidable, and his gallivanting about - in part to keep up the appearances that he was a good for nothing self indulgent irresponsible man - and in part to actually be self indulgent most likely worsened how bad the fight was as it gave the Witch of the Waste more time to prepare and gave the curse enough time catch up with him.

Yet this paradigm is also what allows Sophie and Howl help each other. While they might not understand why the other reacts like they do, on some level they recognize what they're reacting to is the same. While Sophie doesn't understand her magic enough to suggest anything direct, she does take the curse seriously because the way the story goes it will be a problem that needs dealing with. She might not be able to do magic but she can deal with problems head on, that's what being the eldest and responsible is about. Howl might not be able to understand why Sophie wants to look like an old woman but he understands why disguises are important and is willing to give her a place where she can escape the fate that she thinks is following her.

So while Howl and Sophie are incapable of seeing themselves and what they are truly capable of clearly, they are perhaps the only two people in the narrative who are capable of fully seeing each other.